My friend, I am such a big believer that your mindset is everything it can really dictate. If your life has me I mean has value and you feel fulfilled or if you feel exhausted, drained and like you're, never going to be enough. Our brand new book, the greatest mindset and just hit the new york times best seller, back back wigs and I'm so excited to hear from so many of you who have bought the book, who read it and finished it already and are getting incredible results from the lessons in the book. If you haven't got a copy at you, learn how to build a plan for greatness through powerful exercises, an tool kits design propel your life forward. This is the I wish I had when I was twenty struggling trying to figure out life tenure ago at thirty, trying to figure out transitions in my life and the book? I'm glad I have today for myself make sure to get a car be a louis how's, dot com slashed twenty twenty three mindset to get your copy today, again,

this house dot com slashed twenty twenty three mindset to get a copy today. Also the book is on audible. Now she can it had on audio book as well and don't forget to follow the show. So you never miss an episode, so I've studied success and successes kind about me, but significance is about others and here's the difference either I think successful people that live for themselves get unhappy very quickly but I've never met an unhappy person. The lived, the life of significance, the mob. that you began to try to add value to people and you're in the game, because you To be a positive factor in people's lives, and you really are there to help him, I think that's were deep sadness.

watch. It comes from welcome to the school of greatness. My name is Lewis Howes. A former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. In each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help. You discover how to unlock your inner greatness thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let class begin welcome back everyone to the school of greatness. I am very What about our guess? We have the world, leading leadership. Coach jam ass, one good to see you, sir great, with yours. I'm very excited about our time together, and irish example looking forward to this a lot very soon I've. Obviously I've connected with you for virtually on a call before in the past, but we ve never met a person, but I know what could happen soon, but we're just talking about the ties we have

from central ohio, both bigger how state football fans your wife, grew up. In the same simply neighbourhood that I grew up in delaware, ohio and dumb. You ve been of massive service, an impact for the world for really the last another forty fifty years and all of your books, all the work, all the teachings of trainees you ve done. I think thirty, four thirty five million copies sword. It's really! spiralling and I want to talk about leadership and communication, but the first thing I want to dive into today is actually about marriage and relationships and the biggest lesson you learned about love. your ship from mistakes. You ve made unmarried cure. If we want to talk about that first I can talk about that. You know margaret I've been married Fifty four years? Okay, so let's start there, fifty four, for thirty four, my parents were married for

sixty for sixty five and then no doubt they were married for sixty eight years, and so what dad lived, tell dad work, my father work full time through not his tiny fifth year and pass to at ninety eight, but you're, not when you get when you take a marriage. there are several leadership lessons I've learned from it, but one of them is the fact that tub you both have to give a hundred percent. It's it's not fifty! Fifty you hear people talk about well, as do fifty fifty they are talking about equality. I know in a in a relationship, but I I think that marriage is too hard to be fifty. Fifty it's gotta be one hundred hundred years. It you know Everything worthwhile

worth while as uphill, it's all a pill ever they were well and if, if you have a great dream its uphill, if you have a great marriage, it's up hill and you can't go up here- fifty percent, you gotta it- you gotta, be a hundred percent and I saw the it there's a commitment that you make to each other and it has nothing do with adversity. Difficulty I mean every marriage has hard day's deserts, but Do the people that get divorced aren't don't get divorced because they had greater problems than people that didn't get divorced? It's just a different mindset had set into it and there's a different attitude toward it. I think that makes it makes a huge difference. I think, I think is dollar one hundred and one hundred, but I think that respect is essential in a marriage

I learned a long time ago that when you lose respect for somebody, you lose energy, an effort in the cars, and so I think it. I think it's all about giving the other person space to develop their own gift. Agnes. You know I yo if you ve ever delay of ceremony work where they take him. Out too early flight, the middle candle blood, the two and I always was had another- don't blow out those candles. That's you you dont leisure individuality. When you get married good lord, you wanna, keep your own, the lead you, you have gifts, that protein Do you and you want to maximize guess I think, there's a respect and approved. patient for, allowing that person space to develop themselves and not try to make them conform to. Here's what I am and here's what I need and here's what I want in the dating works. So well, as you always think about the other person. First, Why are we think about it?

You goin out eight. What can I do? flowers, take her, do good, rather radio extra cedar. You do I'm saying at its. all about her shoulder and then what happens rebuke if it let us where they get buried. Its offsets all about me and when you go to care my age and that's why dating she's in mary, sometimes flounders its yo, it it doesn't to It doesn't work that way is it. You just have to really always be focused on its all about the other person, adding value to the bright. What what one quick? the quick stories data is it's a family story? More than that, as I I I've written one book out of my, I think I've written I dunno eighty eight eight nine something like that anyway,. I've written one book on parity and debt. And so I decided to write a book called break through parenting and

I wrote it margaret gave me a lot of input anyway, for which sterical is talk about timing and stupidity. I the book when both of my children were teenagers now. What what's wrong with this picture that's right. You're writing a book outbreaks. New paradigm in your kids are going to those teenage years, whether you allowed type- and I call the peddler shepherd. I see how I. This is not working. I I want to. I want to get out of doing the book after I signed the contract and I said, can I the title like breakdown parenting or how about break up parenting can we deal goes where we may get the forced through this whole process it have everything but a breakthrough, but but and of course, today our children are great. We have great group, we have wonderful, gradual, but but but but it it there's a price it it it's an effort. It's an energy. it isn't gonna come to you, it is

going to always be good workout for you. You have to just be committed to each other and and and for the long, haul and and and climate cried the hill it coast to greatness note, No one ever drifted to a desired location. You know what I'm saying so you don't coast to that, you have to you, have to climb to it and what about fifty plus years in marriage I use there. You still climbing the mountain of that you're able to not have things more, automated and systematic, but is a constant, daily focus and attention. I don't like to call it. You know hard work, but more intention attention and focus on the relation I shipped all I I thought. Well, you you still have to pay close attention to the relationship, but I I at this stage we know each other very well. We are something beautiful about knowing idiosyncrasies and heather

there's two I have. I have just things the bill I'm not good at her. I don't do well in hand there comes to be a time where you just kind of it's. Ok, any beginning, everything's important. In the end, only the important banks are important data stuff. Kids. Now in the process, and so it I had to say easier it out, I would say yes, it's easier in the fact that you now have gone through the battles, and you have pretty have succeeded the battle so we pretty well know what victory looks like and and and you kind of stay on, that side of victory and winning and and and so I it it does- get it is to say automatic is not the right word, but it if it becomes more natural, maybe is or better rise right, organic nafta. Of that I'm curious, you are, you know, you're

the world's greatest leadership, trainer export coach in authority and I'm curious. What has your wife taught you about leadership that you didn't know about beforehand? Wash it taught me no matter if you're the world's greatest leadership expert. That doesn't mean your wife wants to fight, while all the time let me tell you, I move masses. Is it's a sublime, look at my family and say no, moving aer lingus, I tell myself, I say: pay p, pay me. Those people pay me big box to go and give them strategy and advice and ill, and I start doing that. with my own kids or you know, by family, they of look at me say really I mean do we have to. We have to listen to this, and so there's a there's that there's a level setting and in a relationship that should be really. I know my my

definition of success. This work. When I was in my middle thirty's, everything was going pretty good for a book started rousillon. I was pretty much in demand as a speaker anyway, And then I saw a lot of people who are sick. for not doing well. Can you just gotta, go off the rails and needs a good like what happened to them. So I I spent some time in my middle thirties, and I said I have to get my own personal definition of success. I I can't handle. I can't put somebody else's coat on. I got ahead of my own And so I came to the conclusion that wish that six for me that success can be defined in fact that those who know me the best, love and respect me the most and that really works just work near ass, beautiful in effect.

It may think about it. People who don't know you well, like you better than people who know you. Well, that's a major statement about something about gone wrong with the character of a person but when I went but by the people who know you best in your lover, respect you the motion in it. They know me they know my all the dumb stuff of god and all my failures and all my faults and ill by ship college by humans, several years ago. I am the deadly, took a gun to an airport, I mean literally at anyone and it was inadequate to take the gun through the I fly private most of the time, but I had gotten a gun from afraid. I'm not even I'm not even a gun person really, but but they said that they my wife I to have a gun since I was gone a lot and so they had and and my pilots by two pilots loved it. They one of us gun guy in the loaded at night, stuck at my briefcase and forgot about it when what

surely, and it was a loaded gun that went to the airport and they saw morrissey. It's a long story I I did a whole teaching off of you know. Basically, stupid hurts, but anyway, ah, but so said I took tried to I didn't: do an entitlement you know took an airport, my kids because they said they said dad has lowered the bar of stupid, so low. Now that, no matter what we do so The family household word has been when somebody substance they so well. At least you didn't take. It got to an airport at one of these and it s so far we have when, when you're with the people that now you well and they love you, you couldn't have find together. You then you ve done well, that's beautiful ma am

John, you ve been around a lot of irresistible people lot of magnetic people, I would say you're one of those individuals and you ve been around a lot of leaders who are extremely successful. Financially, they generated a mass at a lot of opportunities, weatherby monetarily or non monetarily, and you ve also been around people who, I have wealth and are unhappy or internally or lack peace and you're also been around people who have lots of wealth and are at peace with themselves and have harmonious relationships. I'm curious, what would you say are the character traits or the main habits of magnetic irresistible people who also have inner peace Why should? I think I have the answer to that, because I thought a lot about it. First of all,. I know- and you know this to you in your ear in this world- you know lot a highly successful people. I know

of unhappy, successful people I mean, and you look what they have an you sit there so? Why are they unhappy? Every knave literally have anything that they truly want in life, but they're not very happy so I've studied success in six this is kinda about me, though it's kind of like what I've done. You know, so you that you are thirty five, my books, eighty eight books written the debtor spoken at a hundred country spoken. Thirteen thousand. I doubt that about me. But significance this about others and here's the difference. I think I think successful people that live for themselves get unhappy very quickly. I think that they find out that that there are not enough that they did. They were created to

help others and add value to other people, so I've met a lot of unhappy. Successful people take care of success. It's all about me. Significance is, is all about others. So it's a focus. I've read a lot of unhappy successful people, but louis I've never met an unhappy person. The lived a life of significance. I have never memory, yeah, I'm sure, there's somebody out there. That is, but what what the moment the began to at try to add value to people and end up. You're in the game, because you, it'd, be a positive factor in people's lives and you really are there to help him. I think that's were real fulfilment. I think that's were deep. Satisfaction comes from And so I I'm, I live in a significant life. I've I've had some success, but success doesn't really interest me that very much I significa. Just me a lot everything I

you basically at this stage of my life at seventy six people say we're still, writing you're still traveling, you still, you know working and you know I've got seven companies and and yeah I am in well. What are you gonna retire? Well, I am not retired. Don't I dont have a desire to retire because why? Why would you retire when you're helping people in making a difference? In me, I live on two golf courses. But there has to be something bigger louis than what is my tea time today. waters. That is. That is good. I mean. Is that as good as it's going to get? I don't you know, I think I've tried you, can get unhappy very quickly when, when all you do, try to take care of yourself you're, not really helping serving people. So to me, that is the difference of of. When you see what I see successful people that are live like of significant. I find a very fulfilled.

I find? People I mean if you just have been for yourself, how much is enough for me how many cars yet hold me can you eat every other? A cars? Can you drive a mean after while it just you just realized?

that if you live for yourself, it's never enough, and if you live for others, it's more than enough yeah yeah, that's beautiful! I love it. I'm all about service. I just think the more in service we can be and the more we make our mission about setting and helping others this, and that can be your your family, your communities, your the career, you're into start, and then, as you have more, how can you contribute more? I think that's that's! What brings me a lot of fulfillment and joy? I am curious about you know those that you've really taught and trained, and you coach some of the greatest leaders in the world business sports. You know all these different things. What are the habits that make them irresistible enable to manifest and create more in their life? Obviously, the quality and the intention of service and helping others and giving is a big intention that they have that

Joy, but would you say those qualities I just make them so tat. People want to follow them that people want to give them. Opportunities of people were, like things fallen there lap what makes them so irresistible. I think, having a having it joy about life and about people I was I was having a conversation. One time was a very successful person, very funny, personal commedia. And at any said, you know it's hard to be funny. If you dont have fun. He says funny comes out of fun and that made perfect sense to me and when he said that I thought about it too told me, but I thought that's exactly have fun in life, and you have joy in life that then you become you began to be irresistible it all up. Are you laughter,

or are you a leaner? You know I mean it's. The may Wilcox wrote that Paul. What was it said haven't said this for old long time there are two kinds of people on earth today, just two kinds of people, the more I say, not the good, the bad for it's well understood the good or how bad the better have good. No there's two kinds of people: in life I mean is the people who lived in the people who lean and honestly? If, if you know, if you are a plus in people's lives, they want to be around No, I do. How do you? How do you teach relationships? I am either neither a plus in people's lives, aroma minus people's lives. I I mean adding joy to them in and intentionally. being kind there or else I'm sorry know some. get up. They say who's gonna make my day to day. You know it or robert stephen said it. I love this, greece, it

I consider the success of my day based on the seeds. I so not the harvest. I reap. And what? What he understood was, if you just constantly saw it sees the harvest, is automatic. My gosh, you mean I'm reaping huge harvested, I'm look at him, It's embarrassing to me and I look at it. I think how does all happened? Well, I know how it happened. I've I've sold all my life, and so I decide to be a place for you. You got Let me to be around you and if I decide that I'm laura be a minus and and and and you're I'm going to expect you every day to quote quote make my day. I want a drag on you and and and there's nothing contagious about a selfish person. I mean really isn't at, but there's something harry contagious about a happy joy for giving end of it,

who s who really loves tat died of others. Shy, I mean ethics. I am, I think, by the way, I think people. damn right and who is all my staff? One time gave me a great definition of christmas said bits a personality people with charisma they there. The is in other people and people that Latvia's mother interested in themselves- and I thought I'd at- and I think I think, that's very true- I think weak sometimes assign thanks to personality instead of intentionally. And I, I think any person that wants to they can immediately make a change there. They can say, look I've. I've got it I am going to change I'm going to change my behavior here, I'm going to serve and add value to people in and quit being such a dragon in in people's but I think people that are minors louis. I don't think they most of them know it. I dont think their relation

I I certainly don't think that there intentionally can't be attached. Surely surely people don't get up and just say I want to screw somebody's day up. I mean it's more unconscious, yeah yeah. I think I think, but I think if you are a plus in people's lives, I think it's very conscious because I don't think it's natural I think it's natural for him to be selfish. So if, if, if, if I'm going to sow seed and give and serve, I think I go against what what's natural and and so therefore successful people develop, they develop habits. That may not be natural, but are greatly beneficial, essentially I'll. Share click. A share, quick store with you to add to this, because when I

you know being in central ohio. I lived in Columbus, ohio after I was playing arena football. I went to pursue the nfl I played arena, ball got injured, broke my wrist and then I was sleeping on my sister's couch for a year and a half thinking. What am I going to do with my life? I have no skills. I didn't graduate college. I barely passed to stay in college. It was all just to go. Try to. Tribal professional, rightly just focus on sports and girls now is pretty way, go and and when I got injured, I realize oh, I can't go play ball anymore. What am I gonna do now? I'm twenty four.

no in my mind, I'm thinking I have no skills for a career and it was two thousand and seven two thousand and eight that timeframe when the economy crash- and you know, people with masters weren't getting jobs and it was just challenging. So I was like how am I going to do something with my life. I ended up reaching out to as many people on linkedin and columbus that were executives, ceos that I could to to learn about their stories. I'd never ask for advice. I never said: can you give me a job? Can you help me sure? I just said I want to learn how you became successful, it's inspiring what you've created I started hosting these networking events and going to events as well and in an columbus and then around the country, and as I would go to these events, all I would do is ask people questions about their success about their challenges. They ever came and I would never say anything about myself and people at the end of the car

it's not like them. You're like the most interesting person here. Thank you. So much for asking these questions, And I ve been saying about me: I just asked anne and sometimes asking questions can be the greatest gift. You give someone than trying to be this personality and interesting and say stuff about you, so I went into it not knowing what to do not thinking. I had value, but just opening someone's heart and mind too. Their life story is such a gift as well. It's beautiful it say. What's what I love about your story is the fact that. you weren't even intense, so you were just. You were just trying to learn yourself about success, but because you were talking about them and asking questions about that, that goes back to that charisma definition. That was all about them in and all of a sudden. You realise this. Make a you the most popular guy at the party

I know it and I'd always ask them like. What's your biggest challenge right now, and they say why I'm looking for someone to help me with a website designer I'm looking for an engineer, I'm looking for a sales person and since I'd been connecting with so many different types of people, I was like. Oh, I know this. I know the right person for you and I would call them and put them on the phone with them right there as like. He had just you guys, connect and hopefully it helps both. You and I became a connector of opportunities because I was like I don't have the skill. I can't do this for you, but I know someone that could, of course, and that became a valuable. You know, asset and gift that I could give people. But I didn't know what I was going to do and that that curiosity and try to add as much value as possible, really gave me a lot return over the long term. I was planting seeds, as you were saying, all those conversations and that helped me in the long run. Look where you are now I mean I'm look where you are

you got there. In fact, when I hear your story, which has just incredible it, I thought, people all the time and I say, don't go the next job grow to the next job as if you grow to its natural. So you started asking questions and start ear we're here training right there for what you do at it, It was a natural evolution and you to where you are today having you did you didn't? sit on your sisters, couch and sam. I'm gonna go be this incredible talk, show host and personnel I'm just gonna go talk to people, and so it natural. So when you, when you get to where you go it it. It feels comfortable too, when you go somewhere, it's very uncomfortable ok now. What do I need to know, but this for this job in the whole process in but you're

beautiful examples of growing. I appreciate thank you growing, constantly growing this and I was telling you before we started. This is ten years of this show for me and I feel blessed and grateful every day I get to sit down with someone like you, who's got experience and wisdom that I can learn from and share this with others and again you're you're you're, really, if you've got a wealth of information more than just leadership, obviously, and communication you now fifty plus years and marriage, or probably like the foremost expert on marriage, also in the world right now, since no one stays married. That long, but I did. I ask you a few questions about leadership before went into communication here, because you got an amazing new book out about communication which will talk about here s can, but you ve been in the leadership, came for a long time and I'm curious what are the two or three leadership

qualities that were the same fifty years ago, as you were kind of entering into this world and learning about this, you know continent and style of influence. So what are the things that are the same from fifty years ago, and then what is something maybe that is involved in leadership and communication over the last decade that you see as a great asset to bring to the table and learn and develop and grow into? their leader, and its great question was what got me into the leadership gay was when I was in my twenties. I came to conclusion that this is what I've known for everything rises and falls on leadership came totally convinced of this. I studied successful people like you and I one day I just I can remember saying

The successes is being able to lead well and When I wrote to taiwan laws of leadership with the first law, the law, the lid, how well you Lee determines? How will you succeed so everything rises and falls on leadership. When I became convinced that that was true, I also be gay became convinced. Was something worthy of my time that I could get my life to that does have its true that everything rises. It falls on leadership. If I can t people how to lead what what what an added value is gonna be to them so that I knew fifty years ago. I'm seventeen now, what's beautiful about that is today. I believe it more than I believed at twenty six it it's been proven. Thousands of times that everything rises falls on

ships. I've given my life to something that really works, and that this is it is, is a true principle. So and by way on rising when leadership is good. There are two things that Causes it arise and are two things that causes to follow this approach What causes leadership to rise is good leadership, skills and good values, and you have tat both of them. You cannot substitute one for the other yeah. I know you are very good leadership skills, but they are very poor values. happens, if you have good leadership skills, but europe, good values, your manipulate people, an annual you'll, you'll you'll you'll, be unfair to people. You know it's not right to manipulate people. Soda water, one or two or three skills and values that you ve seen have have proven the test of time of all types of leadership and all industries and

news of life, well that one of the leadership skills that is so essential is assigned school but its foundation for leadership- and that is good relationships, young people, Four won't go along with you if they can't get along with you, so so you know you you have to really. In fact I tell leaders all the time quit leading. Will you stop loving people? stop leading people cause it. It's it's not gonna work. If that makes sense to you and answered. That's that's huge in that. That's one of the things that we talk a lot about the scale of the ability to cast vision. The cast a vision is cast a vision, see a lot of money broken see something, but they they kept cast it to make it contagious. So how do you cast the vision that make it contains all has to be? pages with you and then

there. You have to understand that you need others to accomplish it. So that's what caused you to cast it. She did so. There are a lot of people are successful. Both are not leaders they have of it. for themselves have a vision for their entrepreneurial. Perhaps they have a vision for their business. So they do very well for themselves, but they dont lead There is to it, but you know what: when weather the vision is bigger than you. You have no choice. You gotta relate well, people. Then you have to make your vision contagious. Two people to get them to join you because you What is too small of a number to achieve greatness, and so you have to have you have to have the ability to to develop and create teams at a huge leadership skill have that you have to have the values, obviously the This value is just valuing people that that's a deal.

You never add value people to people that you dont value, you just don't do it, and so, if I d value people and that's one other thing its heart breaking to a day and leadership is the division that leaders cause it and now great leaders unite their friends divide their enemies, the leaders we have today they divide the french, unite their enemies, that's horrible, and so the ability to you no tone to build a team. These are all good skills, but the Are you value it people and an integrity while the new when, when you're evaluating someone to be on your team to have you got a big vision, you ve cast this vision and you're evaluating someone to be. On your team- and they say all the right things How do you know if they ve got the values of integrity or or if they just really good? At saying the right things? Well,

I speak for just trust. You gotta say in the right things, and so when you, when you bring pit when you bring people on your team of, do two or three things you three hundred and sixty degree them. In other words, you have your top. You have your top player interview them also of twenty eyes were better than to and so you have to go out with him socially, you have them work low. But if I were you bring your team together say? Is this the right fit for us, as is the disease? person us euro and many times people said tat there, not us, and I can't I probably would a hired a bit better, but they saw things that I see and they help me here, not maker, not make a mistake, so you either Collaboration is really essential in in hiring, and I think, when you're having a company, I think you would Companies loose people all the time and they bring people in so,

why should his daughter people coming in areas like a revolving door? To a certain extent the question is not people come in here and our people going out the question who's coming in whose goin out and right yeah one to ten of eight and nine are coming in, and twos or threes are going out o happy day. You know but if two or three are coming and aids lines are going out there awareness. So let's do they go to you question, because it was such a great one. Yes, Let me say this because when I started off fifty plus years as a leader All you had to do was see more than other see. That's the one thing all great leaders have a common as they see more than other seated stacy bigger picture when I started. If you could see the big picture you could leave, you saw this today. That's not true. Today, you have to see not only more than other see you have to see before other sea

and because our social media and everything before starting to even replace more and that's it. that's a huge. What does that mean? It means that first really works and at you have to be able to prevent quickly. You have to be able to adjust fast, you have to be, credibly. You have to constantly be aware of that. The changes around you. And you don't have time to get your you don't have? time to kind of say what I want to give it six months in and think about it. You know you you, you give it six days and and and hid it had end, the fastest person doesn't when the race, it's a person. Starch first add up a class there. I got my leadership. Niche is because back if you go, back in the nineteen eighties louis.

There were no leadership books in bookstores at all, none, even in nineteen o five, you go into a bookstore, Ok, there be one book on servant, leadership that was written by a nineteen, forty, something don't read a book solution, but all they'll be all manageable books, all management, Peter Drucker. He owned the world Peter Drucker. That fact he muttered me was a wonderful person, but. but things began to move so quickly that no longer companies manage management like things to be very orderly and have a habit of even pace and move around a lot because you did the management or leadership. Is exerted. Leadership thrives on change and movement in. Oh, my gosh. What So the razor leadership book started getting the bookstores was was because you could. Ukip couldn't manage you ve kept manage speed. You have to leave it at that So- and I realise that and then I

the first person come out with it. We're about first year is better than fast. I was the first person come out this. Basically, I would called developing a leader within you and that but was all about the fact that you you up until that time I thought you were born later that the morning you either had it or you didn't, have it came out so no, no, that's not true. There are leadership skills you can learn. You can develop yourselves lear and I I broke into the leadership world on that basically on that theme that you can develop yourself as a leader and it just by but what crazier related they ve just had read anything like that and so so so the scene before now is just have body everybody's aware very quickly. What's happening, good bad. Beautiful ugly doesn't matter. There were

and as a leader, you have to be poised to to move very quickly and and and then it'd be very you gotta pivot fast, you got to you know it's it's it's been agile. Agility is a great great strength, right now of a billion. I I think that the latest on harvard business researches is, if you have a bashers degree, from college. It only has a your life span and sober while five years five years you're not adjusting changing, moving you know, you're gonna be you're, gonna, be left behind very quickly, so that Big change in like a game, a baseball or football caved in any sport. Football is the set. Ball is it's against the gave a football, but game isn't the same rights. It's all football. But every game is different and it's the same way with leadership. Leadership, still leadership, I'm still teaching leadership after all this time, but

so much of it has changed in the way that you do it. When I started off, if you had a position of leadership, you were a leader I mean that was. I was important. I I I I'm. The boss here today. Position of leadership is hardly important to be allied others. It is just those kind of things all the time. I wish I could go on for ever that this does not mean as asia that stop. I love ass. I love this. Curious: what is the desire to par question then? What is the biggest mistake? You see leaders making today with all the changes that are happening so fast on the internet and just society in culture and politics was the biggest mistake. Leaders are making today and also part to what is the biggest thing you ve missed out on as a leader in the last.

Five years where you didn't follow your own advice, the biggest leadership mistake that that met leaders make as they led by assumption they assume that they know where the people are and they dont at assumptions the mother of all my substantive leadership, because if I assume louis that. I know where you are. I will, you in a way that will help you at all I tell you shall have you got a fine people before you leave the people, so you don't start leading people. You start by fine and asking questions is the way to beat and and defeat a son. So what I ve asked questions I find you and when I find you, I know where you are and what I know where you are that I can. I can lead you well that make sense yes and the biggest mistake that you made as a leader in the last three to five years, where you didn't follow your own advice. Why

I think that I or something you missed out on an opportunity because you weren't flexible or adjusting or whatever it might be yeah. Well, I I I'm I'm given a lot of opportunities and and I'll I'm kind of opportunity. Driven saw their their very attractive to me, and but be that I get so many, I can't say yes to all of them, and so there have a couple of times where I had had opportunities to do something that would have far as I know. back on it now what I had a good high return that would have helped me help people a lot more. But I didn't have enough bandwidth for it or to what I had to I my plate so, I knew I was losing out. Only time told me much I lost up far from our interact Five years later say all that was that was the last. I was all law

you know want to be big lie is as far as it, but I think that I think when people are, highly successful. The biggest challenge I have is not mine, do list it's my don't list, and and at I and and so What I miss today normally is not the fact wasn't aware of it as much as it, it was the fact I just couldn't I couldn't get to it and in france, for example,. when you get to a certain stage and growth and development a success. still grow, but its very incremental, but you can come along so by us and partner with them. You can explode potential so I've missed out on some partnerships that I could have gotten into that would have would have helped explode in a positive way. Some good things

But just didn't I just didn't: have an interest didn't have enough time to get it because I keep building myself, and so you know if, if I could go back, I would change some of those things sure sure you've got this book out that I'm excited to dive into sixteen laws of communications, and I want people that I want people to go get the book. Sixteen laws of communication, dot com use, promo code lewis at checkout, you'll get free shipping and a discount so make makes you guys go. out. This massive hit a of a book. Already again you ve been studying leadership and communication for a long time and you ve been teaching at you ve been applying it. What is your greatest leadership strength, based on all the principles you share and your greatest communication strength and which one is you're, the one you're still

working on the must help. I think my greatest leadership strength is. I have the ability, cast a vision that people want to be a part of. How do you do that? So? Well, that can you can you break it down or her talk someone on your team. I do. I better you'd better today that I used to start there Parliament is because a who I am now so, for example, when I started I started coaching company eleven years ago at and for years, people you ought to have a coaching copy coach, a lot. You mentor people, It comes back to my play, a thought. I don't need another thing on my play: the got. I've got a whole bunch of stuff gold, and so eleven years ago I decided to start a coaching company. Its largest coaching company in the world. We have you know wow. Fifty thousand

plus coaches at a hundred and seventy two countries at it's just it just if is exploded and all, but but but I think a lot of that growth in ass to envision peep attractive people is because I've been in the leadership world for, I would have been an hour for forty years. I was already proven commodity people say. I wonder if I should follow him no. I mean it's got light, I can use his name at an and be an entrepreneur and and be a coach, and name is gonna open up doors for me, and so I part of that ability of being contagious with vision is, is the success I think the more success you have that itself draws people

so in leadership, probably cast a vision in communication. I think I think my great strength and commute patient is that I am. I really can connect with people when I speak and I know the book is a lot about. How do you connect with people? In fact, one of the laws there are sixteen, but one of the laws is the law of connecting the law of connecting just simply says that come indicators know it's all about the audience. They know it's all about me. and so, if you will come to me- and they say you know I wanna be up- I want to be a good communicator ear. What advice do you give here? I sit tom, very, very simply, ve you ve gotta get over yourself it. It is not about you add an that's hard for a beginning speaker because beginning speaker. Is there not good yet they have at present to now they're nervous their santa

I do a good job of people like me, yeah. I hope, if I tell it I hope they laughed for it could serve their there late. They go out, speak whether they're all self consumed, and you can't connect. You can't connect with people if your consumed with yourself And so the ear, but so it takes a while. It takes a while to to get yourself. But. moment I you get over yourself. First, the nervousness of speaking goes away because now, yes, I'm not worried about our hope. They like me, and you will. I applaud dawn and adhere to. What do you think they'll? Take note, It's all about me, it's all about me. Instead of focusing on so when the who's coming out. Louis, we did a video on come here on the sixteen loss, and I too I talked to the producers and I insisted that the video start with me in the audience not on the stage

only when the video starts, I'm sitting dinner and a seat in the auditorium and I'm the only one there and- and I start off by saying in a few moments, the attitude would be full of people and it's all about the people. It's all about my ability to connect with them to understand them too. To put them first at It's not about the stage yet we'll go to the stage? But don't go stage until you thought about the audience, it's it's all. It's all about the people so funny thing that I've done, because I get I keep, I keep growing, I keep creating. We keep developing and I love the hope, says of where I am I'm, I'm I'm still learning so much, but what one of thanks we did. It- was an idea of a guy in nashville who of course, dash fills me. Can any is eight years as a company of writers very successful.

and he came to me- I didn't even know I he said I read your books and I learned it. I learned I built my company off your books twenty years ago and he I think you are to write songs based on your books and I thought gosh. I never thought of that before and I to write poems I write to my grandchildren and my children. I wrote, every birthday. I write him upon a poem and and before I write it and then I send it at three thirty in the morning on their iphone, so where they were get up in the morning the further they have a at what they call a pop. A poem inside right the approach, but I never songs, and so I said Let's try so I went to I may. I would today show guts to deal with these. awesome writers have been these guys right number one songs for all the other countries country. So The bottom of the class I mean, I know nothing, europe say these guys. Euro the things I teach us that if you're the head of the class you're in the wrong class, get off at class. You should be there if you're, the head of the class

just talk about what you do it you're not learning anything. So I always liked to be around people bigger, better, faster, smarter than me. This was huge. I got into the studio and we started. I watched him and I learned from it so writing songs at and one of the signs that we rode off of the sixteen. Also communication is the song get over myself at an end? or in the course of course, spaces like us no myself dialogue to be self it gotta be myself, defy muscle, forgot. I find myself to approve myself got improve myself to get over myself. I got get over myself so get myself to you and it's been released so any of your people there on your part that it wherever they go where are they download, thereby part of our now oh yeah get over myself as one and another when I learned from my book The matters are road, a song called day day by day,

what's coming out. That's out now those two out that their do great. Oh, my gosh that super and then I got, I'm comin out next month on. Sometimes you win sometimes ruler and I'm happy blast outstanding, fun Are you sick? It also? No, no! No! No! No! That's it. You gotta start thinking next time. I don't think so. I think it is also good that deep voice out there we got here at the deep boys. They cannot attitude it in the deep. This is better for speaking, that is for singing trust me out, but it's so much fun and- and I hope they get, and it's just fun it is fun, and so I'm going to do I'm doing a whole album. I am releasing a song about every every two months throughout the It will be fine that that's inspiring what you just shared was one of the best piece of advice that I heard about

I'm about seven. Eight years ago I was when I was on my sister's couch. One of the things that I did is I found a mentor, who is a great public speaker, spoke to college campuses around the country. That was his job and I met him and I was like what do I you know. I can't speak in front of three people without stuttering, stumbling and forgetting, when I'm going to and feeling like come so insignificant, and he said you got joint toasts masters and you gotta go every single week and you gotta put yourself an uncomfortable situations until you get better and I followed the plan, I went to toast masters every week for a year it was horrible. The first few months I mean I was I kind of look up and still look any one of the eyes I haven't written out behind a podium word. My speeches I was, it was humility. the embarrassing sweating everywhere. It's it's not funny, but that was the only way I could really grow into becoming a better communicate. It was to practice yet brag, uncomfortable and after about seven years.

I started to build a brand. I started. Have you know some success in business early on before this podcast started, I started to speak concerns, you know, workshops and then bigger stages here and I would do this for another seven or eight years and it got bigger and bigger, and I started to make more money as a speaker and all these different things

after seven or eight years. I remember I would still get nervous the day before and the day of I'd still have this anxiety- and this stress- and I called one of my coaches about an hour before a speech that I had nothing too crazy- probably a couple of thousand people, but it was. It was a good event for me, and I remember calling and saying why am I still insecure and nervous? And he told me exactly what you said, which is why I think your advice is some of the best advice he said you're too focused on yourself and how you look and trying to look good, stop worrying about you and start focusing on the audience. Know that your you might. You might forget that joke you're going to stumble over yourself and who cares as long as you're serving people there. That's what matters and I have taken that approach. The last five years in the the nerves are almost completely gone and I feel relaxed because I know

I'm not going to be perfect, but as long as I'm in service, that's what really matters swipe so grateful that that's your advice and coaching for people on how to communicate, especially on stage totally. I that's. It is of such a great story is so helpful to the people there on your podcast, because honest, lose the mobile. They get over themselves now eighty percent of their stage fright their nerves. Were It all go away because now you're focused on other people and and an thanks for telling the story, because I find it to be true with a lot of people You got good at you. You had a good coach on that situation. Yeah I mean I was. I was because I trained to be a speaker. I Learned the skills I learned how to effectively communicate. I learn vocal variety in all the different skills sets, but the ability, overcome myself was the not the fine.

one, but it was the one that was holding me back the most and I still can grow in a lot of ways that the communicator always on stage, but that was the one that was hurting me. The most I've got to after you find the questions that that's okay with you, John. I could speak to you for hours, but I want to be respectful of your will have to do it. It will do it in person to get it back she ran away. I want to make sure people grab your book. Sixteen laws of communication dot com go. There used the code louis when you check out you'll, get free shipping you'll get a discount and of sharing at some other goodies and bonuses letter around there as well. actually guys go check that out what how about? Why would all linked up and show notes in the description as well, but again, if you're, looking to if you're, watching or listening and you're looking to become a better human being,

but he would be becoming a better human being is about being a better communicator and about listening to people and understanding where people are coming from what their challenges are. What they're they're struggling with, silently, which are struggling with publicly and and having a better understanding about others, which I think, when you master yourself, you can understand others better till and obviously the the the skill of enrollment is a powerful parts of communicating, and I know that's a lot about what you talk about is getting people bought into your vision, bought into you as a human. Trusting you in that process of communication sighing highly encourage you to buy a few copies of sixteen lol.

communication and give them to your friends as well. You are you've, obviously got outta there. How many books you've said eighty four, eighty five books, but there are so many incredible ones. So I want people to make sure to get that. Obviously, twenty one irrefutable laws of leadership is a you know. One of your your biggest sellers, I believe- and people can get that and all the other books that you have there are so any airport you go to. You see racks of your blogger, stacked up you now everywhere, so makes you guys grab a couple and given to friends, you're always game value of these lessons from

aspiring John Maxwell. This is a question. I ask everyone towards the end. John. It's called the three truths is a hypothetical question and I'd like you to imagine for a moment that you get to live as long as you want to live and you get to continue to live a beautiful, healthy, rich life of friends, family, an impact and all the dreams that you have from here. Until that last day they all come true. but for whatever reason it is the last day of many years away and for whatever reason in this hypothetical scenario you have to take all of the books. All of that content this. In our view, every speech you ve ever given has two is gone. It's not here

this earth. It asked to go somewhere else: it's we don't have access to your content anymore and all your your words and your wisdom, but on this last day you could to leave behind three truths to the world and we will get to use these three teachers. These would be the three lessons that you would leave behind, not having any other access to your content or information. What would those three times it's be for you great question. Well, I have to say that since you ask it it's a personal question, I I am a purse of faith.

So one or one of those troops would be the fact that the god loves people and are thus through his own Jesus would love for them to have a relationship with it. So that would be obviously that's what I would call the eternal hope faith through. The second thing I would say to them is that fulfilment comes through a significant life, and so what they need to be doing is is is carried for others and helping others in putting others first in their life, because I think that were true, meaning and purpose. the film it comes out of the third thing I would say to them, as is never stop growing. I had a matter in my earlier thirty's who one time said. John growth is happiness when you're growing you're just happy, and I find that too

very, very true, I'm seventy six and I I'm still growing. I'm still learning I'm still asking questions. I'm still reading. I've still curious. You know I had it when I had it when I was young. I had and her asked me what my plan for personal growth wasn, I don't have one I didn't notice, but no one ever Toma should have wanted they told me these great words. He said John H, growth is not automatic. If you get better, you have to be intentional. Is it there's nothing automatic about? getting older is automatic, getting better is not an end. So, while so, I would say, keep growing. Just just keep learning lose that passion that desire it. In fact, what happens at seventy six by growth capacity is greater than it was a twenty six because I've been doing it all my life so so I learned bork faster, bigger, greater

today that I ever have before, because I build up this incredible growth capacity with these years. What you ve got somebody gray books, but I love that you are an avid reader and you've probably read a ton of books over your. Your your life, I'm curious. If you could recommend three books for people on just any three books, you would recommend to help people inspire people, grow their life and improve any aspect of their life that aren't your books. What would those three books be? One of them would, it would be a is a is a big book, it's a huge book like I'm. So sorry, it's probably seven hundred pages, but I read everything that doors Kerns Goodwin rights. She said, story on the loves leadership and she wrote a book called a team of rivals then it's about Abraham, lincoln, ed and in fact,

the movie about six years ago, called lincoln that were so, popular. It was off of her the team arrivals. Ok, Joe, is off of it at the summit was her book that stimulated and with the catalyst and the reason I would wandered it. It's it's. The east is a thick book, but its worth, and what they need to do is make it like a summer project or a. I I read about fifteen pay is a day and market and then put it down. And you do that idea for a couple months due to, but The reason would want him to read that book is because we are very divided in our country. Now, and we have leaders that are. I am a very leadership. Sad, though have leaders that on both parties, both parties does matter. There are a builder build their election on dividing the people and greatly there's unite their friends and divide their enemies.

And the leaders we have today their dividing their friends in the uniting their enemies. It's pathetic it in you know anybody stance, understands leadership gets very sad to see. If so, why see Abraham lincoln. He, the two rivals, comes from the fact that his cabinet was made up of people that ran against him for president that hated him? You know, Seward call him a gorilla, I mean I hid it and he said the civil war is so important to our country. I have to have the best minds in the room: regardless of their, if their politically on my team or not. That was here and I think today It needs to be read, because what we do really near neighbour hamlet. We desperately need bite, common, unite the people, and remember he took a divided country, civil war and brought it back together.

then we take a united country in trying to divide it again. It's very sad show that I would add okay, ok, another fuck out another booked. I would recommend, into the air. By reading this, the old classic book how to win friends and influence people by dale carnegie- I mean it's, you know it was written sixty years ago, sixty five. but it is its. It is the relationship bible. I mean you read that book and you can develop relations. I read it for the first time I was in the seventh grade, my father, there are paid us louis and allowed to read books. I love that huge so you know all my friends got. It allows for doing chores fact what my dad's dad all my friends get allows for doing. Chores. I get a good idea, don't use it, that's a terrible idea. He said I have he said, you do chores because you're part of the family, don't pay you to be part of the faint, my good lord, issued by the time

we were born. You already owed your mother for nine months, room and board, so yeah and and and he said why would I want to pay you to take out the garbage unless I want you to grow up, be a garbage man, I put my money where my values are. That's where I learned the values thing that is so from this that's right on. We were paid to read books. My father pick the books out and end The middle child, three of us and we read books and do it better. a graduate from high school. I don't mean this unkindly kind. I was so far beyond my peers because I was feeding and reading these incredible. And he would pass what you pay for. The book is what he pays to read it and an hour cop are called stations round the table were about the books were free to shoot. You certainly did. I think I think, that's just great and then you know, while there's a book, I read a couple years ago that I just a guess so good there are so many I've read, James, clear, wrote a book called atomic capital.

you know he's a columbus guy got yes he's a buck. I, yes, There is, in fact, a very worthy rural. Soon, it's just private guy, but I think I The ability to develop good habits is just so kid people success and I've read, will books on on habits, but there's no book like atomic average. I think it it stands alone. What the reason she's got in the expertise had with the people is taken. Do his habits schooling etc. It's it's that yeah. That's it now start samuel chamber commerce for the people they loved John. I am grateful for those recommendations and I recommend have one gram: those books. I've got one final question for you.

can do for this interview and again, hopefully we do many more in the future, but one final for this one before asked the question. I want to acknowledge you for a moment, John. For being incredible. Humble servant to humanity on how to improve the quality of their lives and how to be better leaders for themselves, their friends, their families, their relationships, their careers, their illnesses and you consistently show up and serve so I acknowledge you for your consistency and your level of service. Your level of commitment to people bettering themselves. I think it's one of the greatest things that someone can do is show up and serve other people with their skills and abilities, and you do it in your unique way and it's inspiring and fun for me to watch. So I'm really grateful. I'm glad we got to have this conversation. I hope we get to do many more. Maybe I'll come

from what you some time ago, to get some new club. So you? U inspire me to come to guess clubs like gum golf suppose I will do it. I promise I'll watch a buck I game again and that we will do. I promise that the my final question, John, is: what is your definition of greatness? I dont think people determine greatness. I think history determines greatness. I think greatness. Last beyond the person's life and the longer they're gone the more important they were, it doesnt fade and it doesn't fit aid because what they gave their life to and who they gave their life for was so important that it continues to live it

kind of like legal. A legacy is not what you leave for people, it's what you leave in people and, I think, greatness. The great ones leave something in people, the spirit. Ah, that abides within them and and no matter where they are, who they are their influence. By that precise, I think right, you know, nelson mandela was a great leader who was it. whose great graybeards, great man and I've been to robin island. I effect I went over and they literally, I would over with a news reporter and and a fellow prisoner of of of nelson mandela for half a day and the prisoner I knew knowing well. I want him to tell me stories and, and in the end, process a bit on the island

we came to a cell. A cell was only a ten by twelve. It was very concrete, bear sale, little mat on the floor, and so I asked the report in the end, his fellow inmate. If, if I could just have some time alone in the cell, then I ask him to close the the the the the door and I laid down on his mat and- and I looked out the bars which looked at it. It kind of it just a little window, but it looked out on kind of where a recreation field would be. so you know I did spend a long time there. Maybe fifteen minutes just reflecting and thinking about this man, so I came out and the news reporter was eager and she looked at me. She said what happened. There are so well. I just one of them. I want to be where he was around, should be about twenty seven years there I want. I wondered

I wanted to put myself in his shoes being you can't come in for a few minutes, then she said, will watch your take away, and I I looked at her and I said to my take away as you can't imprison greatness. While you can and president greatness is greatness, it'll come out, you you can't lock, it up is destined to make a difference for people, and I think the great ones you kept locked up be captain they were born for a reason and for the season and people's lives that can make a difference and so to make great- greatness last stardom fades, you know, and so is it scanner like go sure that your leaving something in people not just something for people

Today's episode, inspired you on your journey towards greatness, make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a rundown of today's show, with all the important links and if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me as well as and free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel on apple podcasts. If you enjoyed this, please share it with a friend over on social media or text. A friend leave us a review over on apple podcasts, and let me know what you learned over on our social media channels at lewis house. I really love hearing the feedback from you and it helps us continue to make the show better and if you want more inspiration from our world class guests and content, to learn how to improve the quality of your life then make sure to sign up for the greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness dot com, slash newsletter, and if no one has told you today, I want to remind you that you are loved. You are worried. And you matter and now it's,

I wanna go out there and do something great.