Calling all conscious achievers who are seeking more community and connection. I've got an invitation for you join me at this, there's someone of greatness this september seven through night. Hometown of columbus ohio to unleash your true greatness. This is the one time a year that I guess the greatest community, together in person for a powerful transformative, weaken people come from all over the world, and you can expect to hear from inspiring speakers like thinking Johnson jost, greasing vanessa, then Edwards jan censure, and many more you'll also be able to dance your heart to live music, get your body moving with group, work out and connect with others at our evening, social, so of europe. I need to learn, heal and grow alongside other incredible individuals in the greenest community. Then you can learn more at lewis house dot com, slash summit, twenty twenty three make sure to grab your ticket.

and by your friends and I'll, see you there, you should be satisfied. Wake up feeling satisfied with your life doesn't mean that you don't want the next thing. Of course you are the next day. If life were to end today, would you want to have lived an unsatisfied welcome to the school of greatness? My name is Lewis Howes. A former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. In each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help. You discover how to unlock your inner greatness thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. at the end of your first year. Discover credit cards automatically double all the cash back. You ve earned that's right. Everything you earned doubled all cash back from.

Get your favorite soup, dumpling restaurant doubled all the cash back from that trip. Were you sort of learned, snowboard also doubled the best part you don't have to do anything ridiculous to get it nope discovered. Does it automatically seriously, though seat? firms and check it out for yourself at discovered, dotcom, slash match Companies are big, others are small to Robert half, their hiring needs are. Equally huge. Robert half has transformed candidate discovery assessment in selection by combining customer I, with specialised hiring experience, whether sourcing talent, locally or in any geography that works for you. Robert half can pinpoint hard to find candidates and finance and accounting technology, marketing and creative legal in in the strait of customer support at robert. Have we no talent learn more at robert. Have our com slash greatness your work out playlists to your social media, bead personals, the way to go and of personal leads to an affordable price, even better, with the state farm personal price.

when you get the coverage you want at an affordable price just for you and a policy that helps cover. What's most important to you like a good neighbor state farm is, call or go to state farm dot com today to create your state farm personal price plan prices may vary by state option selected by customer avail. billy and eligibility may vary. The welcome to this special master class. We brought some of the top experts in the world to help you unlock the power of your life. Through this specific theme today, it's going to be powerful, so let's go ahead and dive. What are your thoughts on the idea of never be sad, I understand why somebody would say that you know like you should always be hungry like you should always be chase

seeing as a good motivator to get the next thing so that you wake up and you want to go, get it, but that's a terrible way to live so complete. I vehemently disagree with the concept. They should never be satisfied, your psych you should you should satisfied? We should be satisfied. You should wake up feeling satisfied with your life. It isn't that you don't want the next thing. Of course we want the next thing, but lie is if life were to end today. Would you want to have lived in unsatisfying life me Would you want like what I think I really do think of peter at that those last days you unthinkable all the things that he was unsatisfied about? I dont want that for myself. I want it for you I'll think. Any of us should live that way. so be satisfied. You know and then doesn't mean lesser. Then be satisfied even if you're, just starting out

as an assistant gadhafi, if you're the ceo, if you're anywhere in between, if you're in an off season, yes be satisfied, be satisfied with like how wonderful you have it. Even the least of us, even the people who are like you know in this terribly on his head, like we can peace despite like the day after Peter died, while she now it was. It was a few days later because we were having his funeral. He died on December. Eleventh two thousand and thirteen, it was four days before his forty fourth birthday and so on his forty fourth birthday December fifteenth we had his funeral. and made it a party, and I was sitting there and you know carbon hey, he's, but then also at that moment of clarity where I'm looking around, The room in life is paternity brothers. making beers in their sharing stories about here men. my daughters, I sleeping on my mom's lab, then I've got my

stairs like in the corner try to busy themselves. You know like getting out plates of food and whatnot, and you see people connecting and it was the oddest thought. You know I looked around and I was just like wow like it's a good. It's a good group. You know this is a great place to be I know to have this, and so I was satisfied in that moment. The most terrible thing had happened in my life, but I was looking around and feeling very satisfied with who I had around me, and that, I think, is what I would like all of us to consider that, even when things are bad going wrong, you could still be satisfying. You can still feel like this is this? Is it and it is ok, I'm a big fan of the the title. The book, the urgent life

And when I saw this, I was just thinking to myself: yes right away, because we have like similar completely differ, experiences but similar feelings, probably from experiences we ve had so my father went got an accident, he had a traumatic brain injury and was in a coma for three months when I was twenty one and I remember him what we didn't not. He was gonna, live or die, but eventually woke up after three months, and it was in completely different parts like he was physically alive, but emotionally immense, we kind of dawn took him, like learn how to talk again. He was able, work anymore. He had amnesia so when it see him like watching him again, it was just a different type of rules, she's right, I'd alone of love, my father, for who he was and start agree man that he wants was right we're thinking. He was in his early fiftys when this happened here.

We're so hard for thirty years to as a life john salesman very fond we started to make money wasted like travel on how some freedom in his life- and he was starting to feel like he was happy for the first time, fully happy and this accident happened and I mean really angry at life than my dad to me, Get to go, live the rest of his life, the way he went to, and I I felt like. I had so much urgency to go, pursue everything I wanted from that moment on. I was like I'm not going to let any fear or insecurity hold me back. It might still be there, but I'm at least going to take the actions on my goals, my dreams and live originally, because what this happens to me. What, if I get in a car accident tomorrow, yeah- and something like that happens to me- I'd- be sad that I didn't least go try and this you know again complain the different express you had bought. It created a feeling of urgency in your life, with your ex huh

right you and your husband, and which was almost ten years ago, yeah zaragoza industries. Can you explain the story about what has happened with your husband around, what'd. You get divorce and then cancer situation and how this, how being at a very dark sad challenging time, said Tom What did you do create urgency at the same time, leaving to your best self here during saddened, yes, my alone, rather us off While I am, I really appreciate what you just said in a shared by your dad. You know, because I feel that for all of us who are living this life on this, like hurdling rock, we call home and we don't always have to have had the same experience to understand, essentially the concept of what I'm talking about right, yeah, this nice,

urgency, and it's not necessarily about the rush through life. It's about the intention. knowing like you say like you, do I want to do these things, because what? If so, then your intention about saying. Okay, I want to live a big life where I want to go. Do this thing that I'm dreaming up or I want to push a little harder because like what, if right, and the same thing for me. In that light I dont think of the end of life in this morbid way round. This occurred today might be my last night, I think of it in a morbid way. It's very inspiring to me it makes me want to get up and go, do the thing and again it's not about the brushes like. I want to make the best use of my time that I have I dunno how long it is, but I want to make the best use of it, and I'm also conscious of the fact that I won't do everything, and so that means that I have to be very intentional about the things I choose

to do so because if you walk arousing thinking, I have the time to do everything at some point that maybe you don't get to do anything at all, so I'm intentional, and knowing that like, oh okay, am I not get a chance to complete our things? It was most importantly, and then I want to do those things it's about that time in december of twenty thirteen when Peter pass away, we were we were there. You know where you are using The stories are truly sitting at the death bed and you're talking about all the things you wish. You done Is that what he was saying? Oh yeah, we talked about so much. Oh man, the things he wanted to do with hopes and dreams what he wants for LEO our daughter like what he wanted for her in the future. You know all of those things, and I was sitting there listening and thinking and crying in making promises in all the things Knowing that I need to change the way I'd live,

don't we wouldn't? He will have a chance to do it over so oh. I need to do it and it was such a dark time also because we were already going through so much on top of being that death's door. You know they, like our marriage had fallen apart we had been separated for a couple years already through so much cash additional dramas that happened. She was misunderstandings, anger. You know that we couldn't overcome with just Love yawning migrations, everything, our man, eating, love, conquers everything and noticed now than I love is not in love- is not enough. love is not enough and it All of that turmoil that Let us do that moment where I am sitting holding his hand at his

Breath gets shallower and shallower, you know, and and thinking about all the things I would have done differently. If I had a shot to do it again. Now is not necessarily that, like, oh, I wish life had turned out differently. It's just that. I wish I had been. Evaded different worry motivated by before them man. I think at that time, I was motivated by just my own need for my my own life. You know not really focus on anybody else's, and that's that sounds very selfish, but that's where I was you know it was. It was not. I I was a mother and wife are solely focused.

myself, really yeah that summer yeah I mean it's like you know. There was so much that had happened on my path to motherhood and it's another one of the things that, like you know now. I talk about so openly because we also paint motherhood, like it's supposed to be like this great amazing thing I go. You get pregnant, then all of a sudden, it's like whoa. All this love shows up from nowhere and you're, just like encapsulated by this person is like no, that that actually doesn't happen all the time. Moments of that might happen moments, but that might happen, but his words. I was far you. I got leaning errors and feed humping in all the guys, amounts are tested. Namby, like Hell, I made a mistake: this is not what I wanted in my life. You know and struggling with that and there were so many times where I thought about that little side while like his is, is this life, but actually want

It is so then, at that moment, in december of twenty thirteen I was like. Oh no, I have to make the life wow that I want have to make. It have to be an active participant. What was the biggest lesson during that time? You feel, like you, learned about his regrets about him, not doing the things that he wanted to do yeah what opened up for you during that time. That shifted, if anything, did shit for you and that this might sound funny, but I think logic This was surprised me most of all the logic of things writing down. It's like almost like the writing down of the plan, things that makes sense cause you're, like oh I'm going to do this. These things, I'm logically going to take these steps in order to get to that thing right and all of his regrets everything when he wanted to do that, you didn't get a chance to do, was based on the logic of the steps to get to that thing, but he never got. Gradually and in the light of making the shrill and then his eyes

I'm gonna do this, and I'm going do that are all based on logic. Life isn't made of logic. Life is magic. Is the act then too encounters is the things that you can explain wait you getting your belly. That makes you feel alive in glittery or mission. Super saddle. You dont want to get out of bed in the sky, dislikes gray and maybe one day have a look at you do it? You know. That's that's life, and being open to. That is actually what gives you the experiences. So, therefore, when perhaps you don't accomplish everything that was on your plan, you still feel really happy about the things that you did do because it was awesome. Magical you. Don't I'm not talking about like these big firework things and other little stuff too You know the new posts, that you mean on the way to somewhere? you know or, like the guy I feel that you had that you didn't think was going to be delicious, that you just really savored that it was this

magically raising and is being appreciative of those moments. So again aside, the life is not just about like the big big big stuff is not the headlines. it also to me it's like logic- is what I've been throughout the window. Interesting, that's cool! I'm not going to live a logical life will live a magical life, the kind that is open to all of the things that can explain. You know that, like the writing down of the list in the making the staff of the law I'm not saying that you walk around just not dirty die whatever happened today is what happens you know like look, we all gotta be responsible, but the truth of the matter is that, like how many of our plans have been stopped because of logic, the things that you said like well shoot? I can't do that because of this reason that reason, and that reason, and sometimes other people's logic, that actually stops you from doing the things you want to do. so I want to stop that I've been active it being like every time. I approach a new ambition or a new

yeah like what I want to take a trip here and then logics also come in. girl wears a magic youtube. Grizzly bear just step out. Let the magic find you here, you know and not stop here, because the math is is masking. It doesn't make sense. Now I didn't like says logically, allow wonder and sacredness of your life to happen, because I can't tell you how many things have happened to my like that. Don't make sense, and the fact that I have had the korea had does make sense. This is not is not logical There's no stat. Even when you look at things. I've up know how many black woman cm. What was it that jobs that you know for like fortune? Fifty companies, because of that there is no there's, no data point that doesn't exist that I exist. So can you explain Maybe so opening yourself up to write these things is what actually create your destiny.

Till I run the way that it should know, give you one one example: when Peter died in december: twenty thirteen I'll at pepsico, I've been after ten years, while it was a great job. No I'd done in many innovations of things, and at that time I was the head of music and entertainment, marketing and so on Damn than are the team that did it deal with any fell for the simple have time shall I put the the one that stays like it was like she was huge having great exciting career and then Peter died, and I looked around and I was like man like you know. I think I want to do more things yeah, but am I going to sit here for another ten years in new york city like doing, We have had enough of this and, as I formulated that thought I two I think was envy all star or something like that, and I mean

Somebody that I knew very you know lightly, who told me that jimmy ivy and doctor Dre had started their company beats music off of the back of beats by dre and that they were looking for head of marketing. Would I be interested in the job was in l, a husband had been dead, maybe two months at a four year old child that I was trying to figure out how to raise by myself. You don't like all these things, and so logic would tell you that no you know me like situate your life for how to be a widow and a single mom in the main and when our life figured that stuff out calm down, get some therapy. You don't just like sit and be quiet for a second grieve. Let a year go by and then figure out what you wanna do, but instead I was like really doesn't make any sense for me to be pepsi a long established company and go to beats music where it's barely a company thing. I even know what music

was I had not even that was unknown, and, but I came in, came to allay and took a meeting with Jimmy, and, to sum up, I had no idea about. and when I resigned from pepsico to take the job every bite me was a bad idea. It was an attack, those on one person who supported it. Now I've made my mother no one, everybody thought I lost my mind. People thought I was acting out of grief. Maybe I was now, but the magic was there that opportunity opened up the next ten years in my life it was the magic. The spark that I needed. Where do you see? I think the one started this journey in my life of trying to make wisdom go viral and to share ideas and help people train their mind for peace and purpose every there was a certain speed and pace that

allowed me to figure out what I needed to do every twelve months I now I feel, like I'm moving away from thinking about the next twelve months to thinking about the next twelve years and thinking about the next twenty years and think about the next thirty years and so I feel like I'm at a evolution in growth in my own life, where a change of pace, we'll be what I'm looking for, because I found that up until now I followed do lots of little things all the time to be able to establish what I'm doing today and now I realize it's actually gonna take fewer bigger things that you when you get to if you ve done this step before, but now I realize that that's what it's gonna take and so what

If the you year, you been been, you ve, been studying this for the last four years and teaching and deeper insights on love, practising it writing about speaking about it on stage in podcasting site that, where do you see yourself growing in love with friends, family, your marriage. And with yourself here, moving forward after this work yeah, so what I found was, as I was doing this, I realise that often the blocks to love are not because you don't have the deep intention to love people, but it that you are putting yourself under somewhat stress and the pressure that you're too agitated and irritated to be paid an interest and actually share love. So I saw this study that talked about how you think you don't wake up the next morning, even though you wanted to because your bad at waking up early? But the truth is it's because you are actually experiencing stress

and when you are experiencing stress, you can't implement a new habit. and so reducing stress allows you to be the person you want to be. If you think about when you when you say something you don't want to say it's because you irritated, additive yeah when you do something you don't want to do it's because you stressed This show is sponsored by better help. Let's do it quick exercise imagine you're looking at a scale with everything you do for others on one side and everything you do for yourself on the other. Is it balanced I'll admit mine isn't always balanced. It's easy to do thing for others and forget that you need to support yourself, sometimes too, and guess what you be even more capable of serving others when you make sure to take care of yourself? First therapy can help you, clarify your values and find more balanced in your life, you can keep being there for others, without forgetting about yourself in the process and a therapist can give you a positive

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way that you don't think yourself. It's because you are agitated, so we acting, loving ways, because we are putting ourselves under stress irritation agitation or pressure, and so for me, what I've realise that if I want to be my best, loving self and be present with each and every person and be conscious of that ended I have to learn to not pull self under so much stress that I can't be present. So that's been a big I of love that you can't love while you

putting yourself under stressful pressure in any way, and it goes back to your kind of theme about peace and purpose everyday. I don't think you can fully give your authentic heart without being peace, yes without being in a state of peace, and I understand life happens, and stress has happened, but creating a baseline going back to peace. She can be present yeah what we're not in peace when we're stressed you're in scarcity mode you're in a fight or flight you're, not present with your friends or family or loved ones, or just acquaintances. Your your reactive, totaling people don't feel loved when you're, not Isn't yes exactly about looking at them in the eyes or just listening to them and being in a good state of being around them yeah, the other one that came to mind when you said that as your beekeeping is our russell ugly said that the peace, We need the most love ask for it in the most unloving ways, and so

through the commitment made to myself. Is I no longer want to ask for love in unloving ways. I no longer want to be snappy to feel loved, no longer want to be demanding to experience love, I no longer want to make someone else feel a passiveaggressive common too love? I do I want to communicate about the time love I needed an open and honest way raw. rather than trying to hope that someone else a figure it out because I'm sending subliminal messages on being distance or I'm avoiding then so that was something deeply that I learned was that we just constantly keep asking even the people that love us the most we keep requesting in demanding love in the most unloving ways. Yours

If we can free ourselves of that, you can actually make a relationship really special and beautiful, and so we have to let go of that. You know people who've come on, who have done great things and done it over a short period of time or gotten notoriety or gotten. You know well known, are different things or had a big exit when they didn't have money. Essentially, five years ago you weren't even on the map. You didn't have a big audience. You didn't have a lot of money. You didn't have the new york times bestsellers, you have all these things, I'm curious before all that started on a scale of one to ten, the the peace and self love scale. Let's call it ten being you had total peace and love for yourself and love for the people around you and you were present all the time. One being you hated yourself and where were you

before we met, and then, where are you today after success? Yeah? That's a great question. I'd have to say that I was probably at a seven or eight before, to be honest, curse, even though my works bean noticed publicly in the last five six years. There was a whole. ten to eleven years before that, where I literally did, for whoever showed out at five people so like when I was eighteen and, of course, my first book. I tell the story of how I met monks. I would have I had a society, a university called think out loud and what it was a community where I would put out fly as impostors myself and whoever to come from, my university would attend holding out loud, I would dissected movie based on full

tell your psychology and spirituality. So take a movie like inception and I'll break it down. I take a movie like notebook and break it, I take a movie light water supply effect. Goodwill will hunting like I take these school incredible movies and I'll do these sessions will be absolutely free and I did it for the first year. In fact, the ten people came second year. be twenty five people came third year. There were sometimes one hundred people were in the room and I was doing it because I loved it then I began- Monk, when I came back, I did the same thing in the corporate world. I hadda event in london called conscious living errs on a friday night. Literally file to ten people sharp once a month, but me so happy to spend hours with them off without literally do a session I'd serve everyone. Food because we always sit down to break bread and then- sit down to three hours and I'll just answer people's questions and sit with them and many followers I didn't have any platforms at and of any audience, but I loved it

I was already living the dream in my opinion, because I was to do what I love on top of it a day job and to me that felt realistic I look at my happiness enjoyed now still one to ten and like the I'd say to be honest these days, when it's a nine, In those days when it's a five year asked I said it's because lies that. Well, I think it's because I've taken on so much more now. To think about two: be in charge of to lead. You have other people that you're responsible for you have teams of one of these. Will rely on you to do what you do best and take care of them and connect, and they are trying to help you out and build with you, and so the responsibility scale level is so much higher. Now so, it's not that I don't for peaceful in my purpose, but you do deal with daily.

daily challenges daily pressure in a way that I didn't before, because we're just about me so fascinating because pretty much everyone ass says something similar well where, where this like, they were peaceful, they loved them, so they have more confidence before it sounds like you have more confidence, but on the scale of like inner peace and self love and fulfillment, it was like almost less on every scale because of the weight, the pressure, the man just so much more going on any than navigate a lot more going on life so more of a simple peaceful. One thing of understood, though, with with that point, is that the reason why that that translate is that disk. That is where you grow. That's it that's what I realise just uncomfortable you caught and so find that a lot of my life to their health and safety of two people are getting? Seventy five percent of my working week is in my discomfort, and so I

I crave comfort in my relationships. I crave come home to relax, exactly have great relationships with you, of course, and we have a good group of friends and I have good relation with my wife and, like so I rely on my personal relationships to have some comfort and some stability as I take on discomfort. In my over some purpose, and so I think I make sense, and so I think you will surely get better on standing what growth looks like and what you need. I think, if I just and lived a life forever. I dont think you would have I believed I dont have stayed stated, a seven ornate that would have probably come as well, but for different reasons, and so the reason that now it comes down or actually positive, healthy reasons or can be in a healthy way, yes If we have something inside of you dear inside of you a seed and bring, he had to life into a business, can do the same thing is bringing a child and the life itself. the seed of thought that you want to create.

So it's a creation either way. Yes, I am also biology, I think, that's very powerful, but there those moments by those intuitions like when you have a baby, that's like into the woman's intuition like giving so many things in order to be able to protect the baby and with business like. I have learned to start to listen to my intuition. Just the same. In this light, I think intuition has to be trained. I don't think it's just like your intuition, spying on your amazing. You know everything is like now we learn intrusion as we get out of that look at one time hasn't gave me look ended by you. Of course, so what would you say is the biggest insecurity or fear you still are faced with today Putting anything new, I mean. That's. Never you know even writing this book. It's like I didn't, have to write a book and even getting interviewed twice that I didn't have to be interviewed about while book, so it's not and so much insecurity.

now in the sense of it. I don't fool petrified but, like I know, I'm not equipped, and so Is that an insecurity shore, but it's a violent and security because I have a book before so anytime. I fear that, like what that fear of like oh you're, about to enter a space that you don't know, I just reassure myself as like. Oh it's day, one it's day, one give yourself the grace to know anything. You try is day one. We do a college where I painted it. Practice. The first time you picked up a football. You weren't thinking that you're going to be the best quarterback in the world right, it's like all, are going to learn how to frequent throw the ball. So that's what I did just day. One anytime. I feel the fear of anything new, louis anything Have these montrose? I have these tactics. I have these told everything I put in the book. ok, so you ve got radical confidence and practical confidence, meaning Even with the faint you're gonna move forward begin need to practice. You have to go in with a mindset

you're going to land and has a game plan. And when you fall in your face, get back up like that is my superpower. I wish I could be amazing things, but I'm not so I remind myself. My superpower is on the person that gets backup and that's encouraging those beautiful and what about around money How is your mindset shifted? You of Heaven. have created more confidence or more self, love or more believe in yourself as the money started to come for both you and Tom, in your life well. We didn't have a lot beforehand. You had some you're working or he is working, but it wasn't like the amount of wealth that you guess created with question in bacterial everything he has built. The other, how did the accumulation of wealth change your beliefs, about yourself, that such a question, a question as I can:

he went from an apartment and I'm assuming to a house to to a bigger house to number in your bank account going way up to be able to buy things now lots of great things, How did that shift? So I really thought when we successful when we read, I felt like it, everything's gonna be ok. Because you look at successful wealthy people, like you, I least, may cause me father people I'd. Why, then, god look watch they look at how things on my god, I'm gonna folk wait when I have it so because you think that about that person, you think that's how you gonna, for when you get there so we'll take it back. Quest is announces opinions on company, but we all know until you actually make any sales. You don't know him. I can use to salary and symbolises tom and I still sharing the same food focus with a hole in the exhaust Questions announces a billion dollar company, so everyone thinks you're wealthy, but we literally had you know

tom salary and not with them. So we go sell us very small portion request, and so these things happen. robots? How much did you guys are always the percentage? I think it would let nine percent at the beginning that he has I told him. We cells also again so this three business partners, tom and whispered. Three. is yes exactly so we spent like nine percent or eleven percent. I remember how much this was a while ago, so this is one percent. She still taken massive ownership overlap, but it was still. I love a lot of money. Also do so now that sort of thing months and months and months, so we don't want to talk about it. We can tell anybody that we would want to celebrate because you never know what can happen one day, we hear rumours that today's gonna be the day that becomes yes like there's a wire trade off this. Why are forced to sell sitting in that dr grant we hear these were missed from our finances that the money is about to come in, so we're working in all makeshift gorge Jim. And in between words, Tom's, like I'd, make a fresh or for

no nothing yet refresh afresh and mutually one button I shall put your life changes. Laugh in that moment, We have to wait a couple, a selfish and then what did we do? Louis, we ve got backup and went back to work and in that moment cause the festival. I boy, you call them get woke us up, because we couldn't get back to work. A light omission isn't done. I was like you're, white and in latin movement. It was such a beautiful realisation because we had had a me so chasing money. We said bob chasing money now chase, something actually predicated on passion, desire and value at that was questioning attrition. So we flip Tom mindsets, we stopped chasing money and in the area of sub chased him money. It led to us creating money, but because of winter really develop commission would already developed all why we knew I was getting our bed every day that didn't change just goes up and be it.

we cannot pretend it was amazing. The way forward Anybody in about two days later something we would shopping for your life. What everyone has seriously get that's, I'll, never going aboard vs anyone. It was a dream, come true, it was wonderful, but it didn't change how I feel about myself, didn't change my mission. I believe you are deserving and worthy of the money that really think like. I don't really know what that means, because. When it says deserving, there are people out there that have hotter life than I do now, work harder to provide for their family than I do. So it's hard for me to say deserve we work frickin hard for we sacrificed. So do I think that it would you know well placed, maybe sure you know it's hard for me to so that it really did become a when you get what you think you want when you go to bed at night. How do you feel about yourself, and it was the same- it was just in spencer, bedsheets, what you know and the nice car now the mecca

The voice is still there. The person saying that you're not good. It's still there. The apostle syndrome is still. it's just an unless a house just to avoid an impostor, of course yeah. I was the imposture voice, helping always helping my husband out was this two thousand fifteen Ok, I was seven years ago Cells are wars of boys in your head at that time, when this massive number has the bank account. What is that? In the past or voice saying to you, for even at this point I had you know I was had fought employees and need our thousand square for literally. went from shipping balls and well given the floor to that and impressed us impostor syndrome was is at my husband and his business partners. The money, and I was a good help, that's what you were saying

and so even that like took workin, you know internal work and you know like the value what value do bring to the table just because your name is a piece of paper as like in a founder cause. Those three were excited you for in or to really coachman through, but you ve sacrifice you ve every hour of everyday literary literally, I twelve thirteen hours a day, I really believe in myself that I had, and that was very halt, but it was important for me to do and and then the idea of in the grind when things are hard and you ask yourself what the hell are we doing this all for like. Why tell him, I would drive around beverly hills and our crappy car, We would like to point out with houses we would by and we would like the stone. I don't know I like this now and then, Eventually, the money comes to account and we actually can by the house the weird like the words that withdrawing so it's like the biggest dream come true, and in that moment it was like. I wanted a waterfall, so I'm a ninety.

I love it public and I love nineties, and so I would like to wish joking serious, also pay. I wanted to look I invasion of a nineties hip, hop music, video. I want a waterfall. I want Tom perry on bottle like I want to pour it down the six healthy. I want you to fill me like. That was the dream have to emotionally tied to a tree. The conscious be like a house. It has to be like the feeling of getting the house So I had this vision. We finally get the house. It finally has a frickin who did we get the keys? We go up all the dumb perry on Tom Scott, a photo he's taking photo of me, I'm taking a swig of the champagne, and that was the moment my health and my god felt like it. You know I've stopped had health issues not was the moment. Will that same moment that we were so waiting the biggest achievement of our life. Really, it's so

cliche. Why was at the moment? Do you think? So? I think I had fifteen years of guy issues. I was ignoring them, ignoring them, ignoring them. I was promised. From the rind. I wasn't part of myself in the self care so he isn't years. I was getting sick once a copper, because I wasn't replenish in my got my very unhealthy relationship with food. I wasn't having fat. I wasn't eating carbs at the Y to be skinny as possible. So will this unhealthy relationship? I was getting sick cooker. Why can a lot I wasn't replenishing and

I was getting a lot of antibiotics, and so for, like years and years and years I was taking three to four or five times a year. Antibiotics- and I really think you've got to the point where I push myself into the ground and the bubbly and the alcohol think it was just that moment while and I think, an electric from them it felt like erupted. I didn't tell Tom because of course, I'm trying to be shrunk, sure I'll be back in a second, I run to the bathroom and I literally cannot catch I'm like what the hell is happening to me, my gutters in like so such disarray, but my husband so excited for so of course, of course, but always tell myself just push through it,

I tell him push through it's a celebration, as I cry. If I just get straight into the swimming pool, then I'll be able to hide my pain, all math, so I get how I'm trying to pretend I'm rushing to the same swimming pool and just the water pressure was too unbearable and that's when I'm like babe, I don't know what's wrong from that was six years ago years ago. I'm still my journey of healing my god was perspective to everyone. For a whole year? I couldn't more than like four or five ingredients. It was like beef, salt, coconut oil and chicken. I was twenty pounds lighter than I am now, while my hair was falling out my nose with brittle- and you want to talk about my relationship with my husband and I started feeling like I wasn't sexy, I could barely hug him, then any intimacy. You go to understand what that does.

A woman's emotions, how I felt about myself so supportive, but I felt like I wasn't bringing you know, beauty to our relationship. That was me that wasn't him sex was out the window and it was like. I couldn't even stand up at five minutes at a time, while on the outside we'd, like just literary, was celebrating quest being a billion dollar company, one of the most fastest growing nutrition companies in the world, and here I am, I can't even wedding season is coming up in the cost of attending. All these weddings definitely adds up with whites, hotels, If you name it. Looking all wedding season, long shouldn't be expensive, with a custom fitted suit from indo chino yoke. a priceless memories without a costing a fortune, customize your suit, your shirt, your dinner jacket and more in arrange.

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I'm sorry. I know it was a long story, more really gone back to your point of I remember the day the my success changed, and that was the most beautiful lesson I like. If I can look back right, I think it's time you open try using the time. How can I make most horrific thing be the best thing that ever happened to me? in that moment gives having a meaning yeah yeah, and in that moment I was tested and it was like you can't. I mean, like I said, I'm still shocked at six years later and but how can that moment be the best thing? That's ever happened to me number one. I took one I did it to my car. I was the one that had a bad relationship with food. I was the one that was taking the antibiotics for so long. I was like it's the doctors fault, it's the expert sports. It's just that peasant sports taking ownership over my health changed everything not just for my health, but in the way that I see business in the way that I see my relationship now everytime something goes wrong.

The very first thing I ask myself is: how can I take ownership? I've missed. How is this my own doing so that My whole health that changed my business every time. Now something goes wrong in the business. Whether it's an employee neither has morally screwed up? I let him before saying things like: what's my ownership in their fields and so that just changed everything and then also change my idea of success it did, and so when I got thank god, but I don't know how I would think about success. If that hadn't happened to me, I don't know how I would think about money. If that didn't happen to me, how do you think about it? Now I don't give a sh I love it. Of course it allows me to create content. Why allows me to impact people? allows me to do all the things I do every day, if ever I was come into conflict with, my relationship are willing to pay. if ever was come into conflict with me, feel good about myself. I wouldn't think about it, like that's what I mean by it. Doesnt dictate who I am and how I shall

It is an amazing facilitator, amazing, and I'm such an advocate for wealth creation. I never, I think, his beard No, no, it can do beautiful things. It really cares. One not gonna, be ass, any one but in and of itself is like a superpower. You can use for good and you can use it for evil. It's your choice, and so for me, is that it can be it's so beautiful, because I'm able to create beautiful things out of it it doesn't have a reflection of how I feel about myself, who I am and how I show up every day, and I dont know if it would have, it may have done life. My got didn't when a pop interesting, what has been the biggest swallowed them for immensely of emotional last couple years. The biggest struggle is trying to ascend to the mountain top and the reason I say that Brazil is

get to the mountain tat. Yes trying, not mountaintop, I think the mountain top is. In forever is that a goal? for me the mountain top is checking boxes. Ok right by its checking box, given example, an example. Ok right now, my own show on sport speech to yourself check oh craig, right now, we've partnered with Oprah on a book, one other book or third book, yet check. Ok, but the book has the best. So check is this. It just trying to ascend trying to do and not being dejected When you don't remember, I also think trying to figure out our place on this earth. Think world want to that when we remove the mass, then the make up bigger

we speaking of our life, we're all trying to figure out what value am I providing to the people, I'm interacting with what value of my providing to society, whereas my place in life, and I've been constantly my biggest struggle. The last couple of years is trying to really figure that out and now that it appears. I figured that out trying to sustain right. The heat excuse me and the hate that comes with that. I didn't hate cause. I don't think people understand that once you have audience attention, there will be heat and hate and no matter how pure your intentions are no matter how kind you try to be. It'll be hey, but you know what I realise man and in my co host marcellus Wiley says this. Criticism is the cost of praise it? Is we don't realize that enough, like recently

those walking watching sports news, Naomi osaka number one tennis player on the world just a couple years ago she tried to stop a tennis match. Somebody said you suck somebody else. She went to the door. The judge was like and went to the hospital like we start. The math I can get them kicked out recently recently said that those who try to I must say that person threat and at the end of the to press. Her tears came into her eyes for different reasons, and I was dislike criticism as the cost of praise. And we ve no or criticism don't play the game you keep. You is that you have a choice, play a good show up. You can't play if you dont want criticism is not even like you are advising doughnuts like go criticism. With here, is a fine thing not cut you off. Is that you be criticised at the top or criticised for doing nothing. She was something you enjoy, because we're sit on the couch and you have all this potential, but you don't do something the people

the stewardess. I wouldn't do this process so much tat. I give me their potential. I could do something great with this, but there are certain the couch depressed worried about people's loss or opinions. This price either way you have to pay the way they are maybe the way, maybe its greater price, as your climbing and dealing with the more Engine but there's a price it the way. You know what else and then I realized this too and assuming the face. You can't call for attention and hang up Yeah look at me open, always a nice things about me. You can't you and whether we intentionally Paul board, we don't you can't call for attention and hang up We cried work like us, and our friend groups like a child in a house cry in cries. Mother asks what's wrong. Father asks what's wrong, nothing and what are you crying for? You can't call for attention and hang up, and so I think, there's just a lot of of learning and discovering that

doing this journey year. The emotional regulation is funny. I was just interviewing a neuroscientist, slash, brain surgeon. He is an expert in both areas. So he studies the brain and the mind right the thoughts and have this to our conversation, The whole thing came down to the number one bill to have is the ability to emotionally regulate your feelings and how thoughts the brain and the mind are connected to feelings and the ability to emotionally regulate them, not saying that we're not going to have wide range of emotions, but the ability to regulate under pressure under stress so that you can get into flow that you can get back to your. You know your mission, your vision and not be in chaos mode. You know you can defend yourself rationally essentially in times of chaos and- and he said that's kind of what it comes down to. If I could teach a skill

be the skill of emotional regulation and I thank them for their. We try to strive to unlock our potential. The more we need to learn that, because the more people are going to be coming out as it sounds like yeah one. I think best A phenomenal thought, I think was Michael Jordan. Trainer who said emotions are dangerous, but control danger lighter controlled. I should have liked the most dangerous and all yeah yeah yeah yeah, that's a robbery right. It's like the most dangerous of all because it has been emotional and reacting fell out. They do something stupid, correct, which I did many times and multiple sports and then you learn, the lesson of my emotional reaction gets me on the bench or hurts and you know it's interesting- we're talking sports, but this is a life man, s life because, while you can say fell out literally figuratively speaking, if you're the guy Restore and then you get upset men, you get emotional and then you get into a with

a sheer emotionally vowing out if you're talking to a friend and then get into it with your friend and then you say something you shouldn't have mostly valley our relationship oriented if you're talking to somebody in your dating and then you get into it. So we're talking a sports conversation, but it is the controlling of your mind, but to me bro everything starts with both our greatest limitations and our greatest accomplishments. To me, it's all. Absolutely or what has been the biggest. You talked about living a life without failure or fear of failure, winning a life without fail you. What is the biggest fear for you couple years and and now you let's colored, broken through, right. You are already really successful mayor and your nfl player and had a career in sports tv ice things but broken through to a different level. what is now the greatest fear who, I, you use man.

How can you, my biggest fear, is becoming can place my boy this fear is not realising I'm living inside of a box. It is around me, maybe fear is not realising K. There's a door you haven't opened and what you think is a world is actually just a locker that you inside of one of my greatest one of my favorite scenes of any movie. As the end of men and black? I believe it's meant a black one at the end of the movie, they open up a locker and they open up walk when they realize there's an entire another world out there. They thought they were living in their world, but they're such a bigger world out there and my greatest fear is not pushing beyond a boundary cause. I don't even realize the boundary set, because I didn't set it because somebody else said it and I've been living inside somebody else's box or somebody else's boundary. The reason we don achieve

our highest highs. Bro isn't because we're not skill It isn't because we're not talented it isn't, even necessarily because we don't want it it's because we don't realize realize how high we could achieve right. I think that's the biggest limiting reactant realizing our eyes, one of my favorite stories. If not my favorite story story of Roger bannister, for minimum four minute mile for those that aren't familiar roger banister scientists believed was physically impossible impossible to run a mile in under four minutes. Quick history lesson for everybody. It's my favorite scientists believe is physically impossible to run a mile, and under four minutes may fifth, nineteen,

Intuit had never been done in two thousand and years, but by may six roger bannister, oxford england runs a mile three minutes. Fifty nine seconds within two years, ten people ran a mile in under four minutes now the world record for the mile three minutes for forty three seconds and roughly eighteen hundred people have done so. Why? Because one man, roger bannister, remove the barriers that other people set around one man said: you know what I'm not going to subscribe to that barrier. One man said I'm not going to subscribe to goals. One man said I'm not going to subscribe to that and he broke the dam open for everybody and after that, dam was broken for everybody. The whole rest of the running world proceed anyone, so my biggest fear bro is living inside of a box

somebody somebody's said before, so, if you dont have goals to break or reach what he reaching for like, what's beyond a barrier that you're not trying to accomplish for me, I'm reaching for movement, ok, followed solid progress, for we moving folks as our reaching an end goal? No, it's moving sets moving for man like you you're gonna, do another episode tomorrow who is better than the day and then the next tomorrow is always better than that day and then you're just gonna keep moving like, let's not get so bogged down by, but I don't get. This only got that just keep moving forward when you go to a beach went up standing in the ocean eventually, after about five minutes, to look back and like you,

drifted away far away and you just drifted further than you ever thought. That's why I'm at now, let's keep moving forward. We get so cod When I I have, I want to be married by twenty six, yes, and I want to have two kids and I want to have bought my first one by twenty nine and by if I ever want to be done having kids and want to have four kids. Two boys, two girls, preferably twins, because that would be easiest. What ball that yeah? all setting goals led to failure. I want to live the most impact and significant life. I can possibly live I happen to live that life with somebody else great. If I don't great and at thirty I want to see where I am, and at thirty I want to see where I am, and I want to just continue to move forward and make progress as a human b, but at the end of the day, broke the reason we have these goals isn't, even because of us because of other people.

This move my mind this movement in Europe. guys with may as well. This might blow yours as well. This truly blew my mind. We often debate lebron James, Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player. Who do you laser I mean I'm from while I go for lebron go for the brightest just saw last night to play so as a why? What is a very high? Do? Thirty, seven years old boy, you just have ten thousand rebound ten thousand points out this beast. Let me low. This Michael Jordan lebron james debate open forcing s brother That claimed during the greatest basketball pay ever they they claim it primarily. For this reason he went to six end. The championship. Everyone says one: six outside of those six, it can't be jobs, door, never went back to an mba bought one six times. Our six times. Leubronn, on the other hand, has gone ten times and is only one for smaller

is more like tom, Brady gone ten one for door, when states one six times. Ok, great! Now, let's talk about this. Same exact, sport, basketball list about the same exact result. First place end or second place stored in the brain But now, let's talk about a different measuring system are different metric system, the olympic games and the olympic games. Michael Jordan, have six goals? No silver the broad would have four goals and six sobers ought an olympic scale for gold and six sobers is. one of the key and clearly greater than six go. Then six called, but in the nba scale, scolded bet. So the questions of the comes down to whose metric system or using right and the problem is, we lit their peoples? Metric systems dictate the happiness in our life cause, then the nba you finish it in. Second, you leave the court crying and weeping devastated the olympic games. You finish in second toward agree related depending on what country right. Why?

I because somebody else dictated how we should feel about a certain situation based upon their metric system, not even our own absolutely and I'm just done subscribe Other people's metric systems I go to I go to sets an accomplishment. I olympus a bronze, I'm I did not hear about exactly what I do exactly, but in the nba you get. Third in the film you finish, interred in the imo be invention. Third or fourth, you, like you you're fired this, then I realized borough. We just subscribe to other peoples, metrics, this dictator happiness now tell me, I love this approach, I love the philosophy and the mindset, but for some a watch here listening is like ok, but I really want to accomplish and goals to feel it composting, something because I wanted to build my because it's always build my confidence. When I do accomplish but I hear you say, but if you don't accomplish, is that going to hurt your self esteem? So how do we if like? I want to write a book this year, great twice,

gold or write a book or is it a journey of writing the brake? Do I create I grow goals on a weekly basis and have accountability in others. can deadlines or in how we think about process like leading a project, is launching something we want to launch doing our artwork, creating our music. Whatever might be, How do we then set these things and made them happen right? So I got my master sports psychology and a dedicated my final thesis paper. If you will, for my masters degree to this, nonsense, I elaborated expound on this concept in a logical, but I will give you snippet, because I still the goal so long. I understand there is a. Foregone when you are talking about me? grow in order to accomplish something, there is a useful in a relay race to stick an olympic sport of track and field. It does not matter how fast run. If we do not get the baton around so we

I broke all needs to be to get the baton around when I say set goals, have an objective with no limitations, I'm talking about a larger principle of life. Yes, when you're too about macro things such ass. Hey. I wonder what right when the man, writing a book. I wanted. the chapter on monday- and I want to finish my- I want to after every week, every monday, if you have in poor you're like hey, we need this done by this day. What within that stands? There is a means to set a goal. You talk about talking to the narrow you mentioned this pivotal word flow in order to achieve flow. It was simply when you no longer are conscious of time the midst of the task in order to achieve flow? You need automatic feedback, eponymous feedback. In order to get that feedback, you need to set goals.

so there are principles, objectives in life within micro constructs where goals have value. I'm talking about the macro look of a life where goals will do more damage than they will or at least goals will just be a limiting yak gotcha? Because I always think what, if Roger bannister wasn't just trying to break the four minute mile? How much faster could he have gone? You never know he went. He went three. Fifty nine point, eight He broke it. Barely literally, two tenths of a second was a different. How much I could have gone. Maybe no faster, but maybe it Michael If Lewis was to write a book, I wrote a book, I wouldn't wrote the second one and I might not have written the third one. So that's where I'm thinking like bigger picture, I just want to see people be the best version of themselves. So how do we get

people are going to fail, but you're saying to refrain failure or tonight not even look at failure is an option because do- not set the goal you can fail in that sense being go. I thought about this. The other time I don't. I don't think people IL. What I say is this, and I thought about this- I didn't fail. I fell and as long as I get up, I went ooh yeah like a child. The child falls hundreds and thousands of times and they never think to themselves. Maybe this walking thing isn't for me to do. They felt they fall and they get up. We didn't fail We fell as long as you get up. You win the winning, isn't getting gotten so many people think they failed. They didn't fail, they stopped you stopped. You didn't fail. you just bail, fell and he's never gonna. That's a relationship didn't work. You didn't failed that really

ship you didn't pay on that relationship. Job you got fired, you fail, you fail, get up, you'll, look back, you win as long as you get up. So when people keep talking about failure I dont subscribe to that, but I don't have grabbed goals because, ultimately, to fail is to put a period where a comma belong I do not know more be dollar, not that got to be continued. Couldn't periods, work almost belong eddie, and then we do that too often in our life is like this relates, depended period, no better late in I, as somebody who is more suitable for me, who I am more suitable for an eye now ended up significantly happier than that's a good way to look at it. You know looking at, It took me a long time to learn how to walk in relationships report How is this ball in a while, but all over the place it? I just needed some coordination sooner. It took me a while to get a look back and learn the lesson and I feel like I'm in a much more stable,

ways of coordination with my body now shifts in terms of walking Some people learn faster in certain areas of life, but its is about giving up on love, giving up on your career, you're your books or your your message. We are art yeah, it's about learning, a friend of mine, persons, videos video, seems devon, he being on on tiktok things, like thirty million followers in the last two years he started drawing people on subways in your city just see them a draw them in hand sketch and people blown away You did a video recently where, I started- learning in two thousand and ten how to draw, and he posted a photo from two thousand and ten to two thousand and twenty every year, his his work and it was ugly, the first five years I mean it was throw it away. It was so bad right was like a five year old scotch. It was like something I would do right now, but how I draw

but now the site, you take a photo of some one and he can draw it perfectly, but it took in ten years time ass. The scale hidden fail his five year, seven years, he fell forward by kept improving and that's a beautiful lesson. You're talking about, don't don't think of it as failure thing that is falling row, and so many people in our life, even our loved ones, want to tell us that we failed, and we begin to believe that now and that's the problem we've all committed to believing the lie that we have failed in life failed in our school we fail in our last year. We failed in our job. We have actually failed, but

If you believe and listen to a lie, long enough, you will be convinced that is true yeah and what I now practice is detangling. So many of the lies we've been told over time, deconstructing. So many of the thoughts that we believed over time, because it's those thoughts and it's the lies that bogged down in rome. This also blew my mind, the mona lisa I want to paris last summer, I want to pay as one who lose and brought even aloof. I think I went there outside and ngo in Siberia. So I'm in the loop and everywhere on the ceiling, the friggin art on the walls, art on the left, side or there's art everywhere, as I'm walking through this, you know hundreds of acres theme I see a huge long line for the morrow. Is, I don't know yet. I dont know someone

what line for as aren't everywhere you why legacy of his art does look. I turned a corner, you line for the mona lisa I'd like I ain't, lives onto what binds the look at it, nice, nice is a painful painting, pain. where, from fifteen o three to fifteen eighteen of leave, I historians death. you realize the Mona LISA were painted today, my voting rights over twenty dollars. Maybe maybe, but why? Because the mona LISA back then depicted a pale woman with thin lips and a large forehead, and that was the depiction of beauty back then depiction of beauty and twenty twenty two sun kissed skin, you know spin is nice build, but why bro do we subscribe to a definition of beauty that somebody else that, because you can never catch it, the definition of unity in the fifteen hundreds vastly different than the definition of beauty. Now what was

beautiful. Then we don't value now what we value. Now we don't value then, but either way we didn't even said it back to. Why do we let significant insignificant people never gives in our lives then man I'm dislike. what are we believing as we do still me too? I hope enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness, make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links and if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel exclusively on apple podcasts, share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on apple podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing

back from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward, and I want to remind you have no one is told you lately that you are loved. You are worthy and you matter and now it's time to go out there and do something great. I can keep this in anymore. I can't even believe I'm saying this. To be honest, even know you can tell me anything. I capital v fd for to capital, z, lowercase m, underscore lowercase, p capital, l, river, slash, apostrophe, lowercase arrest. I know how you feel just between us. I am underscore comma dash underscore dollars on capital g lowercase, w come forward. Slash dash, dash, reverse slash, no way. I am so glad we had this conversation. I know me to turn on total privacy with end to end encryption, whatsapp message. Privately,

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