The Minimalists peak talk about clutter as an anxiety crutch and letting go of coupons. Watch all 2 hours of episode 410 on The Minimalists Private Podcast.
Discussed in this episode:
Can clutter be an anxiety crutch? (02:19)
How can I let go of all the coupons I’m clinging to? (11:54)
Do lower-income folks tend to spend more frivolously than higher-income folks on luxury goods? (26:31)
How can I keep my space minimal but still warm and inviting? (38:51)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Join The Minimalists Private Podcast: minimalists.com/support
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
The
every little thing, virtually every little thing merging me. Every little thing is feeding the agree, however, that, without
hello, everybody welcomes the minimalist fine. Can we discuss what it means to live a meaningful life with less money
joshua fields. Millburn. Ryanair Demas is not here today because guess where he is he's force,
burning man that time again, he'll be there while the next couple weeks, but we'll will have him back in a few weeks to do a full day.
the brief, but don't worry. In the meantime, we've got my good friend and co host t k, coleman, hey, hey, hey, what's up everybody and I beautiful voice. You hear in the background that smell obama hi everybody. The rest of our team is here as well: danny unknown we've got post production peter listening somewhere. Professor Sean is here in the studio. Twisting a bunch of knobs
for us coming up today on this free public, a minimal episode collar has a question about
whether she d cluttering too slowly and another listener has occurred,
about letting go of coupons she might not use for a while. Then we ve got our lightning round segment, alive stream question and a listener tip for you. You can check out the food
to our maximum
vision of episode, four hundred and ten, where we answer five times the questions and we die
deep in the several simple living segments that private podcast apples
it is our right now patriotic
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seismic stock with sorrow,
collars, give a question or a common for our show. You can give us a call for zero
six to one nine, seven
three nine or email, a voice recording to podcast at the minimalist start. Com are first question two days from perry, so I have
recently started to wonder if my clutter is an anxiety crutch, I suspect
maybe holding on to clutter and decluttering slowly, because I find that I find
to be easier than the big things?
want to do, I think, I'm afraid of finishing the deep lettering, because then I'll have to face either
or the anxiety of emptiness or those big dreams that feel so daunting, I'm anxious about working towards those dreams because of a fear of failure. Do you have any tips for me
thanks Harry. This is certainly something that I've gone through, my own life de cluttering, organizing a specialist and not even the dictator import, but
organizing as a practice of procrastination
have something to do. In fact, I'm thinking about my daughter, whose ten, now that I'm her when she was around five,
any time we went to get her to do something she didn't want to do. Her favorite phrase was, but I've got to do so
in first. I gotta do something didn't
That should even know what it was, but hey signed the brush your teeth before, but
do something first and isn't that what we're talking about here, because I think what perry stock
about his hand, declaring kind of slowly he inaction,
be great because you don't want to feel frantic, but all
so am I procrastinating by putting these tasks in front of me? A man we see
that with calendar clutter all the time, but really it applies to anything. Business is a defence mechanism that we erect to protect ourselves.
from the world's demands I think about. When I worked at the restaurant, if you were ever,
The weeds and you needed help. Someone needs to run food at this table. For me, you look around at the faces,
of your teammates and the people. That seems
rest you leave them alone there busy, but the people that seem happy all taken takes
than to do, and we learn very quickly in life that if we walk around looking too relaxed looking to free and too happy, someone might give us something to do
someone might demand something of us,
we learn how to look busy sound busy looks, dress sound occupied because of my plate is full, then you'll be less inclined to add something to it, and so that maintain
we can get into our subconscious and govern so many things, but
in the same way that you don't accumulate clutter overnight. You also don't have to deconstruct your life overnight.
We have to follow all of your dreams and face every day.
go desire and conquer the emptiness that the clutter
is covering up all
in one shot, just as you give yourself permission to evaluate them,
things and eliminate them one step at a time? You can do that
Your goals in your ambitions and the emptiness that your rustling with and the opposite can
also be true
say. I remember when I was obese as a kid and took years to become obese, it didn't take the same number of years to lose the weight.
When I became obese with material possessions, so I was metaphorically over stuffed with.
Stuff I had a lot of access things in it,
years over a decade took
humiliate all of this stuff, but it didn't take decadent, have
remove the things one item at a time in perpetuity other. Sometimes that does help
starting slow, not just renting a dumb
turn throwing all your stuff in it. Now, if you can do that metaphorically, I think that makes a whole lot of sense. I'd prefer to recycle
or sell some of the things or donate many of the things and not simply throw them away. But if you could just let go of everything and our last book love people use things which perry I'll. Send you a copy of
people use things, because it has great story in their of this couple. The curtain dolls, who
this entire house burn down and they lost everything, but
They had been simplifying up until that point and they realise that they were Letty
go aggressively and
letting go aggressively made room for them to actual lose everything and it wasn't as devastating as it would have been six months previous. However, when I think about it
r and d? Clutter is debris.
in the road. It is not a destination
mean the same thing is true de cluttering de cluttering,
is not the end results, not your.
Game the game, it's not your goal, simply to clutter. Did he caught his
to the same way, a hammer is a tool
buying the hammer was not. The purpose of the house
I'm reuse the hammer for something you gonna nail, something together, you going to do
old house you're going to build a shed you're going to build something with this,
and with the clustering you are building a life, not through addition, but some trap
king, the things that are in the way I see you're making room for something else and right now, I think, wouldn't
everything is
I don't really know what that is. She said those big dreams, re yes, but are you specify
about what those dreams are they really nebulous because
if you're really specific about what they are in?
dreams are compelling enough you're going to want to get the stuff.
out of the way and no, it may not happen overnight, but it can
happen in a month. You can play for
thirty day minimalism game, you can download the free calendar. The minimalist dot com
game, you could find a friend to play with.
Because having someone there to also help keep you accountable, allow
You do not declared her so slowly that you're getting in your own way. I think about this question
In terms of my injury, when you have an injury and you want to get
back to normal life, to things like working out. There are two extremes you can play the first extremists to say
I'm just gonna go all and in the way life he used to be high intensity, the other extremist
say, I'm gonna wait until
the one hundred percent before I do any
saying that is remotely challenging, but in between that is physical therapy right
where you say, I'm not going to wait until I'm one hundred per cent before I challenge myself, but I'm also not going to put the pressure on myself to be high, intense and fully ready. Today, I'm going to do a little bit at a time. So what I would say when it comes to decluttering
says you can map out these extremes in the same areas you can say
I can wait until I'm done with the declaring process to pay attention to my dreams, but I'm also not gonna pressure.
Myself to just go online and make my dreams happen overnight, and so what you can
it was while you're declaring a little bit at a time. You can take five to ten minutes a day to say I don't need to do anything about my
names, but I'm just gonna journal about it for five minutes today, I'm just gonna sit with it and ask myself hey what is it that I have been avoiding and why have I been of winning that what my life look like? If I gave myself permission to say yes to something
makes me feel inspire what are some things that it would give me joy to delve into and just a little
at a time and you'll find that those two things the declaring and dreaming the work hand in hand step by step. And, finally, I think it's important to have some sort of boundaries in your life in the boundaries may
since, for several reasons way, if you have any boundaries, you might just keep declared
in declaring now you think this is the point of what you're doing
But, as I said a moment ago, that's not the destination, it is simply a vehicle
we're actually the clutter is aid.
The brain the roads getting in the way preventing you from getting to your destination, but too often with
as soon as everything is perfect, then I'll be set for life I'll, be in a fixed state, but the opposition
through your life for change and so the things you need for change that
it an immense value today, may not
add value tomorrow or next year. So you have to be willing to continue the question in writing.
those things down even question.
Is this adding value to my life and also yes,
to bring new things in. If you
certain that it meets your criteria, matches your boundaries, river minimalist rule book. It's called sixteen.
Rules for living with a last. You can download it for free anyone. Listen to this can download a free at the minimalist stockholm slash rule book.
and really all those are. Sixteen different boundaries are adjustable to get. You started
Your journey of letting go on s question is from Kai
hi the minimalist this is correct,
being from vancouver canada. A patriot patriot. This is my first time sending my wife mammal,
I do have questions regarding coopers. I know you talk
about this before, but these coupons came in the products I purchase online
I'm usually there ten fifteen twenty percent off so
keeping them there, I'm a fridge arm but
every time I look at them, they're such clutter. To my eyes. I want to get rid of them, but I also want to keep them just in case. I need to buy in the future
I know I use the word just in case, but I have.
Has simply happened to me before
Oh right after I got rid of some coupons and I want to buy something from the company and now have to pay regular price to what would you do? Thank you very much
What would I do if I were in your shoes, there's something I often think about if it feel
like I know, let it go.
Now. How do I know whether or not something feels like a know whether its material possession or it's a coupon, that a corporation gave me or its are released
in ship or it's a meeting or an obligation, could be a friendship if it fee
feels like. I know: let it go,
How do I know that it is a no because it's not a hell yes
in how we asked the spirit of helios, as I can't believe I get to own this, I can't believe I get to have this. I can't believe I get to go to this cause
with you. I can't believe that I get to have this friendship doesn't mean it's going to be flawless, there's going to be tension with
anything that we bring into our lives. It doesn't meet our expectations on two percent of the time. Talking about your expectations here, what I'm talking about is if it doesn't feel like
how yeah then it's a know, and if it's a no it's ok to let it go, it doesn't mean that you won't feel such slight twinge of of discomfort
and maybe even a little tiny bit of regret for learning something go, but that is the price of your freed
it is so freeing to let go of those
things that might serve you in some non existent hypothetical future
holding onto something just in case. You mentioned there of course,
Those are the three most dangerous words in the english language. Now let me get practical.
for a moment and then I'll hand over to tee K. We can get even more philosophical here, but
practically. If I were in your shoes, I would let these coupons go, but if I also felt like yeah, these are just in case a few.
certain I'm going to use just for wine
and I knew that I wanted to use them. I'd simply take photos of them and,
and have them available and if I needed to print them back out, I could-
also keep in mind, usually coupons, haven't expiration date written on them now that
Expiration date isn't real, it's manufactured to create a sense of urgency in you because they want you to buys.
I'm doing this quarter because it helps their fiscal quarter, it helps their profitability and yet
They have a fiduciary responsibility to increase their profits and
way. They do. That is to add an expert,
nation day to your coupons. Now what
I truly do personally as jack them. I would give him aren't use, coupons and nothing that you shouldn't use coupons, but the reason I dont use cooper
france has nothing to do with
Saving money is saving my sanity
the psychological clutter that has caused by
I should hold onto this little trinket? We. We pretend that coupons are savings vouchers from a benevolent corporal
patient and all they want me to save money. How kind is this corporation, but the truth is they want me
to spend my money with them. I'm ok,
was spending my money, but I don't like being pressured into
spending my money. So what
I buy it at full price if so great I'll still buy it at full price. Now, if there's a discount at the register- and they say- hey, We'Ll- give you five bucks off right now,
cool, I'm not going to turn down your five dollars, but the mental clutter, the emotional
and the psychological clutter that is caused by coupons. For me, it's just not worth the air. You know it's interesting, have ever
on anything, and you go to the register and you don't have one and someone says all there's a coupon for this, yes, and they give it to you now anyway. You know our relationship with things is so funny
Because all of the minimalism dilemmas boil down to the sense of a I really hate. Having this thing also, I really want to keep this day, which was one of those desires. Do it
used to be loyal to, and it's not always easy to know which, because sometimes what we really want is to keep the thing, and we just feel guilty about what we really want.
and other times we really want to get rid of the thing, but we feel guilty about the story. We'd have to tell if we got rid of it. So what do you do? Well, if you had said
and I have this neat little drawer in my kitchen- and I keep my coupons and they're just in case. I need them
and I just love having that space. What you guys think there would be nothing we could possibly
other than enjoy sounds like you're doing something that you love, but that's not what you said. He said I don't want to keep them. I want to get rid of these things. There clutter
and you probably don't want to get rid of them because you have tv cameras, broadcasting
your refrigerator on the new.
Whose every night saying look at this person. What all of these coupons? There are not a good minimalist its
other new in some kind of way, and so the question I would
ask is: what is your clutter costing you? I would sit with that for a minute, not because cuba,
funds are so important that you should spend hours thinking about them, but because problems tend to men,
fast in a variety of different ways, and when you take the time to understand the prince
suppose that underlie one problem, you get the chance to apply that wisdom to many other things, and so I would ask with this particular instance. What is this clutter costing me and is that
with the twenty cents, you know when I travel man. I observe very interesting thing: people compromise their peace and all sorts of ways to save thirty seconds here, sixty seconds there and I don't care,
it it's totally alright, but one thing I've done a really improve my quality of life, as I made up my mind that unless I am late for a meeting and I'm in a rush to get somewhere
I am not going to abandon my quality of life just to save thirty seconds. So when I come down from a flight- and you know I'm I'm going through
security and there's someone you know and not not coming down from a flight but go into a flight and I'm going through security
if someone racing me and the only way
get line, front of them is to compete and to rush them. If I'm not late for my flight, I'm gonna
let them be the one to win that thirty seconds and I'm just gonna,
join my life and enjoy the piece of travelling light, and I think that something that we can apply to life as well. There are so many
opportunities to save twenty cents here, to save two bucks there to save two minutes. But what are you giving up for that opportunity? It are giving up your piece of mine is that is that your price
is that the price of your so yeah? I gave him a piece of my eggs. I wanted to save twenty cents
only dollar twenty dollars. What's the price of your piece of my eyes
So god you remind me of three things. One recently why,
I was down here in l, a my wife was up in ohio and our daughter was out of town and she was like hey. Is it ok with you? If I get rid of some things this week,
course, me being the good minimalist than I am. I said we, of course, that sounds great re were constantly
antagonizing in questioning our our material.
Possessions. What are you doing here? Oh, do I
value from that? Ok, but I also
want to interrogate my
things there and that's what parrys or that's it.
Hi is doing here with these coupons, she's interrogating them right now.
Bravo for that and so backs tax me
if she's like, hey ya, is it okay? If I get rid of some things around the house and I'd say yeah, that sounds great, wonderful, thanks, so much and then, of course, I get home and there's a little box by the,
because in our neighbourhood we simply have this like donation,
system people combine it leave stuff on the curb and people picks through it and they take what they want, and it's a beautiful thing, but I get.
They are my away. I don't know she will get rid of this.
I didn't know she was getting rid of this yup. Oh, but then I said hey. This is this: is the cost that I'm willing?
today, I am willing to let go of some things that I thought I wanted to keep the she didn't want them here and I can see
hold onto it my mind and that's
Make me more misery boy when a thing is gone now it's on our current. I take it back in the house at this point.
I realise that oh I can live.
go of any of to any of these things, even the things that I think
but I want I can like
of those in even that as a practice, its drenches, my comfort or my discomfort zone, and that is a place from which we
grow into letting go of some of the things that were holding onto just in case even thing:
that you know you will use or likely are going to use in the future man that is almost a spiritual practices
want to satisfy cism so much,
as it is questioning the thing
that you get value from. I was just talking to my brother Chicago this past week.
and who owns an apartment building there and he had a porter who just recently moved out this person.
rented one of those huge blue color construction, garbage bends and filled it up completely? He personally took out of
twenty backs, this person moved and took a lot of their stuff, and this places steel field with
days of work he described so many things that were astonishing. This person is a true order, are one of the things he described is
He says there was one room: where was I
a room full and I got a tibetan apartment. A room full of condiments like fully package, never opened
but you sauce, seasonings, salt, pepper, all these types of things, and he says this person just had this compulsion. They see something
it's a deal when they buy it. So we cos
of army and there like hey, like we don't serve that area. It costs them other places there like we're, not taken any thing for a few weeks, and so
he goes and there to try to gather some things too.
Maybe see what he could throw away, what he can give away and as he's looking through things that demon tempts him, he says what I can throw this away. This is valuable. I could maybe I should take this home and keep it in my home.
And that's the trickiness with clutter. It has a way of saying hey
you don't wanna waste me do here and there
we say. No, I don't want to waste you and then that demons as good
let me live in your home, so I can waste your piece of mine. I can waste her happiness. I can waste your life energy. I can wait,
dear creativity, all in the name of you not being a wasteful person but, as I have said before, you better trash that stuff
for a trash. Is your life? You gotta? Let go of the guilt that says it would be waste
hold of me to get rid of something. Therefore,
I'm going to consume something that is unhealthy
for me that isn't good. For me, I'm not saying you should mindlessly
things away but take the time, do the work
fine, somewhere, some one that you can,
give that away too so that you're not
wasting your life in the name of being resourceful, tik tok,
danny unknown, my goodness
two things come to mind here. Practically you just mentioned the things that their collecting like condiments, and
expired things right and we talked a moment ago by how the coupons themselves
our expire as well re, but I am also thinking that the discount doesn't
actually expire. If you know how to ask, for it
benjamin smith has been on this podcast before we're done, some tore stops with him and
I wrote a blog posts with him years ago, but he he taught me this.
Really valuable lifeless and this experiment
for one year, one day a week, no matter
what you're? Buying that day, he had me negotiate for it. Now
It could be something as simple as your at starbucks and the coffee too.
Dollars and eighty five cents in to say: hey. Can I get this come on now? Most of the time you would think they black will know
We can almost always they say yes, even
let the grocery store I've been told. I could I gotta a coupon or whatever in
What you're realising here is that those,
upon your holding onto aren't the only way to save money.
The easiest way to save money is there not spend it in the first place.
don't buy the things you don't need to impress people you don't know. I don't like that.
great way to save money. But beyond that you can be.
Check, outline a target and you can ask for a discount. What's the worst thing, they're going to say to you know, ups or I can't
There were not a smile, laugh at the look confuse near, but it also makes you more confident in
your purchasing expiring
it's now also you'll, probably notice
Never I'm talking to
people like a cashier at a grocery store, were at a restaurant somewhere on talker someone. I'm fairly gregarious
It came out of that experiment because I was forced to push through the discomfort of our I'm going. Ask them for a discount and
it made it so much easier to talk to people, because you become you become acquainted with rejection.
and that rejection.
Comes a muscle that discomfort that you expect
and send it so much easier to actually get the the and and I'll have to cling to any sort of coupon. One last thing I was at a concert last night a surprise, my wife, with cigarettes,
Is our favorite ban their amazing that from Iceland jonesy he is the
lead singer of the band- and he is like mozart with Michael Jackson's voice- that's the best way I can describe this beautiful falsetto. They had a fifty piece orchestra on the stage it was unbeliever
but and this woman walked up to me during the intermission, pretty miss jessica and she walks up, because I saw you here
I just knew as my sign the get my shit together
good on you, gentlemen, as also and I want to say too kind- and I want to say
to anyone listening to this man.
We. This is your sign to get your shit together.
Its feeling right now, like your own,
for farewell by material possessions or you feel, like
I've been meaning to the clutter.
I been meaning to let go. I've been.
meaning to simplify my life. Maybe
This is your sign. It's ok! Let's go
If it feels like, I know, let it go
This is your time to get your shit together. Not because you're a screw up would be a bad person if you didn't get your shit together, but because you are beautiful,
in brilliant more than you can imagine, and it's time for you to start saying. Yes to that in time to start getting rid of the stuff, that's keeping you from doing the name in them,
Now, a bit more time is a you know what time it is it's time for the lightning round where we answer your questions from tik tok. Yes, indeed, you can follow them, animals on tiktok and instagram, and facebook and twitter, which now called
acts. Also, this platform
Reds were on now at the minimal
is our handle now during the lightning round. We each have sixty seconds to answer your question with a short cheryl.
Less than a hundred forty character response of the text to these minimal maxims in the show notes, so you can copy
and share our pithy answers on site
Oh sure, media, if you like jennifer, has a question for us too low
Income folks tend to spend more frivolously than higher income folks on luxury goods such as shoes, cars, jewelry and clothes. I sometimes feel like people are trying to prove some
thing to others by how much they can afford, even when they really can't,
I fully realised that rich people also by lots of excessive things, but I'm just curious what you guys. Think of this.
jennifer redoubling, call the signalling, but I like to hear what the uk has to say about this. You got something pity for us tat guy,
The wastefulness of the rich is a luxury that the poor cannot afford in people, often
ask isn't minimalism just for people that have more
Ashton, they'll ever need and can afford
to accumulate a lotta clutter, not necessarily because
as the inability of the inability to afford a thing doesn't equate to the power to avoid a thing
still have to live in a world that showing you a bunch of things that, although you can afford, is telling you
You are not enough if you lack possession of these things. In addition to that, there are so many people that are eager to explore.
you and their searching for ways to make it easier for you to buy the things that you can't afford at the low cost of your freedom. Europe,
flexibility in your future, so just because
as you have lower income, doesn't mean you have lower vulnerability, because people that are poor, don't just lack access to capital. They often like access to support networks, access to mentorship access to the education to make power
for an important life, giving decisions, and so many people who are rich can afford to be reckless and they can afford to ignore the price tags and make bad decisions.
when your poor, you not only have an inability to afford a lot of luxury goods, but you also have an inability to afford to make stoop. It does
just because you don't get away with it, and so I think it's a tragedy in its. Why the message of minimalism
when simplicity truly is for everybody, specially the people that can afford the traditional forms
clark I had to learn this. The hard way give me sixty seconds, professor sean, I got some pithy forty and then I went on packet together. Mindset
here's what you are talking about, eager rich people
are not immune to the poverty mindset, I grew up early for
at home that was filled with dysfunction food stamps government
substance, but also we had been evicted a few times.
And we just lived pay check to pay
Often we didn't have a paycheck so made the living really difficult
not the resource so unhappy growing up as we didn't have much money, and so, when I turned eighteen o
went out and got their corporate job, and I started making some good money by age. Nineteen I was making fifty thousand dollars a year. I was paying my mom's rent, but I still had a poverty mindset.
hurried forward. Many of the habits from my childhood. I was
spending more money than I made, I was
I made really good money. I started making even more money, but I was spending towards the next promotion. I was
spending money I didn't have charged to credit cards to impress people. I didn't like
with things I didn't need in fact those things often
got in the way of living meaningfully, so got forgotten
article here that I wanted to run by Iraq
our good friend dave ramsay, we'll put a link
This in the show notes over the minimalist start com, a slash, podcast, twenty five things. Poor people
waste money on honour him
of these. I wasted money on when I was growing up really poor
number one designer baby clothes. While I didn't have a baby, so thankfully,
uninvited designer baby, close infants quickly. Our group
their clothes, investing in inexpensive and inexpensive diamond zadig, close wherefore.
babies can be on
sorry expense, and so much talk about does require in fact will go through a few of the
These were often bindings to signal. I think that's what jennifer's talking about here. Look how
together my baby is. My baby is becoming
Sesar either have access with more accessories right but, of course, a baby
is never complained that they didn't have the Tommy hill figure or the louis baton, outfit expensive, coffee's
yeah, I think that's true. I often bought things that
spent money on coffee all the time,
and there's nothing wrong with buying coffee, but if I don't have the money, for it is probably not the best use of that money to go and buy a five dollar cup of coffee across the street, when I can make it at home for fifty cents
it's trendy clothes, this was a big one. Where I grew up, I have friends who had
thousand dollar alfred on who were taken. The bus.
Not there's nothing wrong with taking the boss. I think it's great, but they weren't taken the boss because they wanted to take the boss. They couldn't afford a call,
but clear they could afford the car. They just didn't, have a thing:
thousand dollar jacket on that's enough to buy the a beater by by yourself re new cars. Instead of used cars, yeah
I've, got one luxury apartments high and make up premium
meals, high cost mobile service.
plans. Unnecessary tech upgrades expensive vacations.
Furniture on credit cards, we know me if you have to charge your credit card, you can't afford it. If you have to charge something to a credit card by definition,
You can't afford it doesn't mean your evil. It doesn't mean your bad, but he can afford something. Why punish your future self in order to acquire that impulse purchase right now, expensive cable package is impulse of purchase
High interest credit cards unused Jim memberships, dining out, frequently alcohol and cigarettes, yeah tia that where I
Rob everyone drank and smoke everyone we group really for neighbouring everyone smoked wondering. Why is that.
So I am of the opinion that rich people do all all these things to you like. I don't think so,
pity and sin. If I
and use that word and shit.
Cummings respect echoes
mc boundary lines all right,
it sure people have a superior ability to conceal it to insult
themselves from the ordinary consequences that are baked into things to belgium.
Helps out or they ve
a longer amount of runway to where they can be a response.
the call for a longer period of time before the sign start to show up, whereas if all you got his five bucks and you spend it on a five dollar
a cup of coffee man that ray
The hurts you gotta
money a five dollar coffee.
necessarily a better decision. Just because you have a lot of money is still might be a ways. It's just you know. You're not gonna, feel that paying. So I think I think everybody makes these kinds of decisions, but
You know I've seen a lot of scenarios where people go into like a sea. Innocent
schools right and they say things like you
Two hundred dollar pair of gym shoes you needed
we spend that money on the stock market. Imagine format. Imagine
for a minute, there's almost got is asking you for ten dollars right and you get
ten dollars, and he
was the by some balls and you like do what are you doing? You need it,
It's on stocks will be spent
we're gonna, look to you. If you like what like
that doesn't even feel excess,
the bottom right, but he does
have pain that he needs to medicate
in terms of what feels accessible to him. In turn,
of what he knows in his network and what is options are going through the steps to get that bottle of booze? I got the skill set. I got the connections, I got the means to do it, no difficulty there
but all the things you tell him that he ought to do with that ten dollars. It feels like another world. It feels like he has to learn greek just even begin, and you know
when you look at somebody that has the two original a pair of shoes, I'm not saying that's the best decision
but we gotta understand psychologically sociologically why that happens. Part of why that happens is because it's a valuable signal in that context, in those contact
Sometimes what you wear and don't wear can determine.
Whether or not you get bullied.
You wherein don't wear can determine your ranking in the social hierarchy. How many privileges you get, how much support you get, how much protection you get? How many friends you get
I have and those kinds of things are important for mental health. So we don't have to say this is the best way to do something in order to paint an empathetic picture as to why people
Do it gave him what they have access to, and so I just think is the kind of thing where people do it, because it serves as a vow
you, both economic signal as a valuable social tool
in this world of what they have access to it.
What they know. How to do. Does that make sense yeah? What you're saying is what I started with that pithy answers: no one's immune to that poverty. Mindset re here and you're right that five dollar cup of coffee, if a rich person buys it that I actually would be buying some time for them, it's worth more to them.
Not have to make it on their own right, but when I was really poor, when I left the corporal, I became poor again only twenty three thousand dollars that first year
was more financially stable because I started making better decisions. I started thinking
about an ultimate we're talking about years, when we dont think about this
visions that we may we're not intentional. It's easy to be wasteful for not thinking about it. What often
It's happening as everyone else is making those decisions. For, as I should have these two hundred dollars shoes, I should have this thousand dollar jacket or whatever it is
maybe evil or wrong, but if you want to stay stuck in that cycle, long continue to be unintentional, with e purchasing decisions that you make
checking with the live stream question here in a moment, first friday.
of every month. We do the friday.
Afternoon a minimalist zoom with the minimalist anyone who subscribes to the video version of the private podcast hops on a zoom call with us. We also record it if you want to watch it after the fact as well.
and you can hop on there? You can be a fly on the wall. You can turn your camera off. You want, or you can come on camera with us and we can have a beautiful conversation together. The first friday of every month,
patron dotcom slash. The minutes will check in with one of the questions.
that in a moment the first real quick for right here right now. Here's one thing
What's going on in the life of the minimalists I free book out there.
Fifteen ways to write better. I teach writing class is called how to write better
teaching for over a dozen years now and inevitably
If people come to me and say I just want to learn how to write better, and I teach this class two or sometimes three times a year.
I say: if you give me thirty days, I will show you how to write better
gonna turn you into a david faster.
A lesser Jonathan friends that mary car necessarily, but I will
so radically improve your writing. I've had doctors take the class, I've had high school students state the class and everyone in
tween, don't I've learned is a rising tide of small boats and I show people how to
overcome the resistance and the obstacles they can actually write, something that is compelling to them. The final classes
this year is on october. Second, open a link to it in the show knows how to write
better dot or you get on the email us over there. You can also download my free book over there. It's called fifteen ways to write better if you
some simple writing tips and shorter writing lessons as well. You can follow how to write better on instagram tick.
And you too, the lot of short writing lessons out there that I think you'll enjoy melody
We must check in with the friday afternoon, minimalist zoom. You have any questions or comments from our most recent patriotic zoom. We should
do here's a question from a leaner. Do you have specific tips for keeping?
space minimal, but still warm and inviting depends
what you mean by warm and inviting because what
warm in inviting to me may not be warm inviting to take care that it might be off
to have you might say all this stark or sterile rain, and so who'd
You wanted to be warm and inviting to when I'm making my home I once
to make it warm in inviting to the people who spend most time there and that's my family and so the three people, I'm considering them all serve me and my wife and my daughter.
And then, if other people find it warm and inviting, then it's a beautiful byproduct, but if they don't they come over and say, oh, I can never live in a place like this, or in fact the opposite often happens. Vous I bought a few years ago. The kitchen is so hideously blue
If your a patriot and subscriber you know, I've done some hope.
Tours and the thing that I hate
about my home, the most is the blue kitchen, but some people come over like I love this kitchen and if I just wanted to appeal
these other people. I would keep that kitchen there in perpetuity, but it's about me in
so am I don't enjoy that catches peso when I've saved up enough money. Welcome
I got an remodel the kitchen to make it more.
and inviting to me, and if someone else likes it great and if not that's. Ok too
I will say within the realm of what's affordable design, europe
place in a way that makes you feel warm and inviting and when you bring people into your place,
they will feel warm and invited, because that's the energy that you radio and then you can show them that
painting on the wall that they don't care anything about and you'll be fine
warm and so inviting when you talk about it that thou, but, like all that's kind of cool when people come to my place, I take him straight to my bookshelf cause that's what made
me feel woman, inviting only my
I think models are only here and am here's the book on systems thinking and
eyes or glazed over there completely bore they don't care anything about my books, but
so warm in inviting with my books. They go. Man
like how much you love your books, man. He had ass kind of cool to see the way p.
Or feel when they are in your space is a reflection of the energy
that you really radiates so design it for you now. I think that's a great point in fact, on the private
cast every week. We do a for a photo minimalist home tour.
And we look inside all of our patrons homes, our own homes. While you can see tee case home, you can see several pictures from my home, but our patron show
on two different ways to make it warm and inviting ends.
Well those you'll look I'd say: that's actually clutter to me or-
it doesn't have enough personality to me. Whenever my be this week, we
they are living room. This beautiful live
space with a lot of space for
living, and I see
as warm in inviting I'm wondering if yours
see it that way as well will see that over on the private pack ass in a bit, but in the meantime alabama? What does you got for us? Here's, a minimalist in
site from one of our listeners
hey all my name is Kristen and I'm a patriarch member at a minimalist inside there I found so much value in so I wanted to share
you I've been on a minimalist journey for several years now and have managed to let go of so much stuff and it's really felt free but have continued to cling to my hard copy photos, even though I have scanned and save them and back them up up until this year, I felt so attached to them so finally decided to commit to letting go of the thousands of photos of collected over the years
there's going all the way back to my great grandparents. One way I was able to bid farewell to these printed photos was to choose some of my favorites and send them to a dear friend, who would find just as much joy in these memories and will want to hear about the stories
It was an experience for her to walk down memory. Lane with me, I enjoyed putting together a bundle of the photos to send to her for her birthday as a unique experience. I labeled each photo and told a story knowing that she's someone who will treasure these photos as much as I do. It allowed me to get closure from the many lives. I feel like I've lived in these photos and say goodbye to some of the baggage. I was clinging to. I assured her once she was done looking through the pictures that it was okay to throw them away. It was a fun and different way to celebrate life, and I accomplish something I had previously struggled with letting go of
I have no regrets and it was healing in a way. I hope someone else can find this exercise as useful and therapeutic is added charge. I will see you on patria on forty four to our maximal edition of episode, four hundred and ten, which includes answers to a bunch more questions like what is the source of your unhappiness. Are you come
with cluttering fatigue,
What can I do to prevent childhood trauma and my kids in a bunch
we're questions over there on the minimalist private podcast. Also this week, besides our minimalist home tour, we have a deep dive into the burden of inheriting all of those sentimental items that you don't want, plus much much more
and if you want to hear all that visit patria, dot, com, slash the minimalist or click the link in the description to subscribe and get your personal link so that our weekly maximal episodes play in your favorite podcast app you'll also gain access to all of our podcast archives, all the way back to episode, zero, zero one that was back at twenty fifteen and if you're still on the fence,
Patriarch is now offering free trial, so if you'd like to test drive
private, I you can join
seven days for free,
that is our minimal episode for today. If you leave here today with just one message but to be this love people and use things
obviously never works from us, and you will see next time peace.
every little thing you think badge need every little thing: you've been there Virginie every little thing. That's just feeding your greed. Oh, I bet that you'd be fine without it.
Transcript generated on 2023-09-19.