The Daily Show's Trevor Noah headlined this year's White House Correspondents Dinner, and the South African-born comedian delivered what he was paid for -- some mild criticism of the luminaries in the room and then an epic tongue bath for the fourth estate and all the alleged "journalism" the media bigwigs in the room produce. Plus a segment on Dave Chappelle's recent attack while on stage at the Hollywood Bowl. Also featuring Stef Zamorano, Kurt Metzger and Mike MacRae! And phone calls from Vince Vaughn and CNN stars Jake Tapper and Jeffrey Toobin!
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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the
Hey
Jimmy who's, this
Oh, ok
from cnn I'd, Jeffrey
I ll go analysed on cnn,
Hence my reinstatement, that is red snake,
After what
suspended for masturbating
and Matt lauer had to quit.
Reginald lauer did sub like that
I just wanted to make that clear for everybody. That's what did you while you were gone
of course, while tonight I'm going to be talking about this row, verses wade, situation, cnn, providing
my expert legal analysis, but I thought
call your show it sort of workshop at first there were your listing, get a sneak pig into my axe for legal analysis. It will be seen where I am loud sounds great Jeffrey wants you to gear
well, first of all, what structure to me- and I cannot emphasise enough- how absolutely on
russia. That in a league like this, is from the supreme court.
Presumably from an actual staff member truly on whore unheard. I've almost unfathomable. That's what you think the maid
the issue here is that the take away.
Oh, yes, absolutely, no matter what you think of a new rights.
oh versus weight or any she really the courts a bill.
Need to derive the arguments and why these breaches confidence should
He considered sacristan lay like this or of this magnitude is truly at sea. Were more obscene abortive women with compromise pregnancies the face?
Most certain death for an ideology
Absolutely, if you put you have the capability,
specially garda capable draft their opinions
even controversial opinions like rolling women's rights backs fifty years now, I'd like interference. She did
the little man from paramount functioning judicial system
What is the leaders primary objection to rovers his way?
it comes down to a rejection of the right of privacy. Do you hear yourself
quite frankly, I am
so you're mad that just as the lead didn't have
the privacy tab,
about how people shouldn't have privacy extract
people showed and privacy. Let's be reasonable price
say and do whatever extent we engage in privacy is a personal choice. The salient:
point legally here being that, at the end of the day, the right to privacy is not explode
Can we guarantee that the united states cops church? I thought
was contained in the bill of rights.
Some say it complied and implied rough famous,
stated a it is in the quote to a number of rights put forth in the bill of rights. This was the basis of the decision for griswold vs connecticut. The supreme court case that roe vs wade was essentially based on
If role v wade get struck down this griswold case. Good too, then
Absolutely the good impression
what was half what was that case about again.
essentially guaranteed the right to birth control. Also, this could lead to birth control. Being made illegal?
No, no! No! No! No! Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves here if grid
were charmed hypothetically by a supreme court. There would simply have the waivers stage to regulate birth control.
Further down the road pave the way for a federal ban on birth control. And then you think this should happen.
was not a matter of should per se, but of rock I struck down and it only makes legal sense a griswold would gets shutters.
Drop down to argue
this all goes back to a rather boring thing nominated to the court and supreme court in nineteen, eighty, seven by ronald reagan, if you recall yeah a congress,
ultimately rejected his nomination, largely on the basis of its stance on the right to privacy, which he did not feel with protect,
It died the constitution. Yes, I actually remember this and I
as you can see. The congress has not been so vigilant in rejecting supreme poured nominees on this basis, subsequently, so there,
Lot of justice is on the bench. Now
very new and exciting ideas about some really interesting legal ideas to play with, and who is this all this is. Do you legal games and word play not that
people's lives and welfare at stake, a real world consequences.
As I stated earlier, I am a lawyer legal Alice,
I am an analyst of the law, not whether something is good for a society or morally repugnant or whatever that separates separate for them
You would have to look for and analyse with a background in
good or whatever I see I won't. Even now the terminology you,
I some level human, though, are you I mean if you
see how roby wade being overturned would affect the women in your life. Can can you at least
we see how the judicial erosion of the right to privacy might affect.
your own.
Well, I certainly would affect every body. Of course I can, but I can only hypothesize eagle, abstractions wicker. That's my train! That's my absolute lagoon,
Well, I say, for example, that a man is on a oh brother,
and he and- and this is a particularly salient point here in this hypothetical scenario- this man is on a
are they not muted and then he can still ha and in this decides to attend some giant disciple
tend to some personal business, because
one of the women on the polish read like and margaret.
National harassment charges that would eventually be levelled against this man will be legally based on this woman's right to say, MR to him,
For the love of god, oh god, I'm get another call.
Jeffrey,
just check camp or from the league with Jake. Damper, though, show you are bound to be off.
Oh, hey jake. I was just about to talk about yeah. I know yeah talk about this shit on my show he went on,
door show is fine, but not on mine. Do you understand me why I was just offering some abstract legal analysis.
if you go on my show and somehow make reinforces wade about une check. You have got to stop alluding to that.
I just feel it's a salient point.
Can you hear me out
replace masturbating with quote taking my now. I'm afraid is people would know what I'm really com
yeah.
Its job is really confining some ok guys. Here we were
This our offline bows gang, I gotta, get to another segment. Gash. Please drown in private
Actually it turns out five is not a real thing,
guess driving down the street and johnson media Samir switching to show, let's get to this too
Trevor knows that they have the white house correspondence dinner and it's supposed to
We all know what it is supposed to be its. They see
it's always were all the politicians show up to honour the free press and thank them for speaking truth to power
it would not do much true, that's it yeah, that's ichorous christie showed up to give tribute to people will keep them away from the buffet. That's that real, that's
in the real world. The people who know the line have just enough, but not too much like with comedy. We don't have to be too funny. So I I have a god. You know I used to love. Am I
podcast. I used to break down the yield. The uck widows correspondents dinner comedian
and I was always. I think that what was her name that, though I'm a little wolf Michel Wolfe, was it she did a great
and she got a networks to show out of that. That's how good it was but dumb. So, let's go
This phenomenon critique now trevor Noah
it's my theory. I read it any in or out of anything to back this up, except my god is that a judge Stuart picked him because
he he he he did what he would do a better job than him that I thought that to have Jimmy that's what a server does a fine he's his nut and bolt.
Of his comedy are fine. He knows how to deliver a joke and stuff like that is not a bad performer but
but the problem. I have a trevor noses, this all milk toast garbage and then when he does targets
Something is used, is right at times on the wrong side of the issues which caught it takes the comedy out of it.
right and dumb anyway. So let's just watch it and look ridiculous,
It is my great honour to be speaking united nations. Most distinguished super spread of events.
Not for real people. What are we doing here? Let's be honest: what are we doing? Like? Did? None of you learn anything from the gridiron. Did nothing,
you read any of your own newspapers. I mean I expect this from shorn handed you, but the rest of you. What are you doing here? You ve spent the last year
I telling everyone the importance of wearing mosques and avoiding large indoor gatherings. Then the set
can someone offers. You are frequently alternative, Joe rogan
so I was there with their laughing at the ottawa. I don't mean to be a jag off, but these there,
I first saw this. I was like our those jokes, those those seem like distant.
honest observations about the hypocrisy of these
pieces of shit that are in front of him,
But it sounds like he's not aware. Yeah, it's just like so this this.
Call narrative that you have split the country over and demonized and
dreamed about. None of the people
or following including this guy there are,
and again at a super spread or event without math side, and there are laughing about it, but I thought govern.
Dissenters, was a maniac and I thought any but Joe rogue in another. What are you
what.
You ve had your rogue imply. I dont get because I thought he was in trouble for his worse
yeah I'm horrors a warmer herself,
the former, not
and so here advocating spreading
so here they are out, there's deadened at its super spread,
revenge and they all lap about it.
According to them as a super spreader that not to me, I am
I understand better the science of covert, then,
Anybody in that fuckin room. I want a guarantee
because there are gonna get half the country already got covert justice last winter. Did you know that half the country got cold?
got the omagh wrong. That's how and just like doktor
Robert Malone explained on the show. Last summer last june,
or july that the what's gonna happen is the virus.
swell mutate it will become more contagious unless deadly. That's exactly what has happened.
And so now its super contagious, but was deadly now at present,
is a cold for most people
anyway I described,
We need be either it's a picker about that, but that drove me darted
like also now you all you guys
get to wag. You wag your finger for two straight years and now you'll get to giggle. Ok, I mean doktor found she dropped out.
that should have been a pretty big side found. She thought it was too dangerous to come tonight. Pig davidson
it's ok, we all have a pizza, ok, I'll get it! I don't gotta, get why guess p David
was there as these are so it's just
into this Udall politics disposed to be hollywood for ugly people, that's what it's supposed to be and now
they came car dashing was there and pete davidson results? I want the this
stupid people? Now it's fair like he gets a butter? Italy
is that the darlings like how many darlings are left to invite others, not any so much.
remember what the real purpose of the evening is is to remove
The government and media elite that we're all in this scam. Together that this is because they are so, let's get the more so as we sit in this room to my people already hope you will remember what the real purpose of this evening is. Yes, it's fun. Yes, redress, nice, as the people eat drink we have funded.
The reason we here is to and celebrate the fourth estate. Ah now, that's not the bats.
That's why you get the big bucks
if you could say that shit sincerely, I skipped other
the ones for the other key? I did wrong.
You know why PETE davidson was invited to the white house correspond. Mister
we're because, unlike my innocent madison catherine, he knows how to
keep his mouth shut. After an after dinner, coke party did
fao cheese skip the dinner because he was afraid of covert or because you didn't want to face the razor sharp wit of trevor. No,
probably just because
in fact she has the brains to doha. It looks to be a roomful of wealthy covert vectors mask lists. Ok, that's probably why
trevor. What are you doing there
having a perfectly round head, protect you from cove you get it
It would be a great point of trevor ass, these people to read their own pocket newspapers about the dangers of covert that they been printing nonstop for the last two years. It would be a
your point, though its if he was
in this sober. That's that's right. I use their do so of jet trevor. If Jen saki had three shots and she got covered twice, she proudly
right! That's from the other clip that you sent me where you're gonna show him time didn't saki all the jen psaki clip media
because you re yeah? That's why I gotta get saki clip coming up that people are getting excited
Ok. So here we
Let's go back! Why all here he says this room to my people,
I really hope you will remember why real per
for some, this a yes, we dress nice ass, the people eat they drink, we have fun, but the reason we here is to honour and celebrated for the states and what you stand for what you stand for,
an additional check and balanced that holds power to account and gives voice to
those who otherwise wouldn't happen and
unlike did you,
It is how there was this huge pause before they start applauding after he said that, so he said you guys,
dan, for holding power to account and giving a voice
people otherwise wouldn't have one there's a full second right. There
were the entire room was going wait what
oh yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah got gay, that's what was apple.
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. Ok, here we go
I am not just talking. Actually, I think the reason they took their beat to applaud
was because they were bracing for a joke about how none of them live up to any of what trevor just said at the edges,
then, when they realized he was serious, they went all. Is he like?
slow caters, something that's nice.
Help me to have the room sincerely believes that its their sacred duty to make sure large amounts of the population dont have a voice have.
That room sincerely believes that
the other half of the room cynically believes that at a really well written joke,
not like cnn or fox or any of the other major organizations
If anybody in that room stood
for anything remotely like giving birth
is to people who otherwise wouldn't have one
wouldn't their ratings be better right.
It rogan ratings that they would get rogan ratings. They beginning eleven. Twelve thirteen million views per ethic who would go somewhat every
one young journalists we saw today,
trip a journalist swan even in this room in flint michigan or that daring reports at the damone register or the unflinching local news, costa in EL paso, texas, every single one of you. What do you like it?
is a bastion of democracy. We talk about what the p
who are manufacturing consent for all guardy are each and every one of them a bastion of democracy there
with the obvious disguised out from america, it's obvious, but it's almost
he's not from this fuckin decade or generation? What kind of but this is the craziest bullshit.
Ok, here we go and if you ever begin to doubt your responsibilities
If you ever begin to doubt how meaningful it is, look no further than what
happening in ukraine with what's happening:
Journalists are risking and even losing their lives to show the world. What really happening
and there's just once captured by ukraine. Well, you know
you know the punchline. That's coming course he's not he's out at
you can go to mention julian assange so
he's talking about people doing
propaganda in ukraine? I think that's what he's talking about
They certainly not talking about the people, exposing the war crimes that are being committed
the people were on the side of he's. Not talking about that. Ah,
I don't what he's talking about, but he's certainly not talking about julian assange
the number one journalists and
or journalists of our generation. Who was now
in prison, not because he lied, but because he did exactly what he just said. He actually spoke truth to power. He actually told the truth about the powerful and this guy is so count such a cock, cow town.
corporate entertainer. That he's that even gonna mention him and he's like he thinks
about doing science like I. What do you think you? If you would save you brought julius, aren't they would say Julian assange help trump and he worked with russia at julian assange. That's what it that's! What a guy like that would say: we're not adroitly! Why John stewart chosen might think is jack stewart,
I want somebody to come in and do as good a job as he did and there's no way this guy can do it. You know what an adult cause I used to say all the time
much like dirty away, and I tell whose friends behaviour
tell Tommy's igniting what is it John stewart
like if he's like a rich liberal. It was like his you know his like white.
thing by wasn't. You didn't get american flag guy heat.
They all I'd like a foreign. That's like thing rich people love somebody from other countries like well spoken in all this, so that two that is his like upper class,
like all this is really tight:
we're just corporate save as what is so here we go.
You realize how amazing it is like in america,
You have the right to seek the truth and speak the truth, even if it makes people
Our uncomfortable that train, if it makes you view, was or your readers uncomfortable- that's
They are there all sitting there, god who
a boy who are these people he's describing as it certainly is an us. We all work for the
just guys in this country who are pulling a scam on everybody and worthy mouthpieces, because that's what they are Jeff basis.
richest guy in the world that the earth is it's,
handful of billionaires owner.
Entire media in the united states. So don't kid yourself in a thing
Anything he says is true. That's the fairy book tail, that's the propaganda. They want you to think. That's that real. Believe me, if you did what he said to do,
a true that make powerful people uncomfortable. You will first be de platform.
Your first me smeared in the newspapers.
daily beast and new york. All those places you'll be smeared as conspiracy theories, then
what will happen is they'll d platform. You and then they'll take away all their ways of making money and then they'll throw you in jail. If you remain somehow be able to do damage to them, you'll they'll do to you what they did to Julian assange. They tortured chelsea manning, you know, tortured, chelsea manning Barack Obama and Joe Biden tortured, chelsea manning okay, that's not a
as I personally, they did that
and, of course will never bring it up. Why and that's why you got chosen because
Sky has been chosen to do this job, since he was an kindergarten he's been groomed, I'm talkin about trevor Noah and that's why they picked a guy like that
because he'll, never say anything that actually challenges. Power, he'll, never say anything, the challenges that audience let alone.
president, the last person that said
something that shows that audience. They had a
down over. It was michel wolf would.
He told them they're all hypocrites, because they love drop because they say
They claim to hate him, but they couldn't stopped talking about em,
stop, because they are all making money. Often look at the,
Do you, like even vague,
I believe very carefully, as nobody told what are they all laws they know Julian assange is in prison right now. They know
Joe Biden trying to kill him along with the security state in the town
of the uk, the american government. They,
this
Guess the only guy in the room does doesn't notice trevor Noah go ahead. Is it
a chump it'll look like we know that do not want to make us.
Comfortable billy
are we can remain uncomfortable. What is it about so here we go.
Let us, then, how amazing that is. Jeez I stood
tonight and I made fun of the president of the united states.
And I'm gonna be fine. I wish you all it. Yeah, ok,
that's right trevor noah was able to make tepid jokes at the president of the united states and he's gonna
be. Fine he's gonna be fine, mainly because Joe Biden thinks he's Barack obama's son. I think
that's why he's gonna be fine
I mean I've seen some bullshit in my life, but this is unbelievable.
Is he businesslike hard hitting? Because I know I wondered what he's trying to do trevor no is high like to anybody. You didn't notice that
didn't say anything that challenged power. Nothing, it is,
old power at all.
Did he even bother to track that even get a mole, not anything, he said? No, he did not.
So he's in a room full of the oligarchs and their mouthpieces who runner
breathing and set the agenda for our culture and he's got a chance to confront them. His whole fuckin show is,
showing what a bad job the media does? That's what it support? That's what it used to be about
you know what a horrible job the news media did. It won't liars. Politicians were not what a disservice they're doing, and it was by partisan that guy does.
they have a clue of what that fuckin show is supposed to be about. It doesn't have a
whew of what John Stewart did, and I think that's why they chose him go ahead. Will I mean John store was also a comic book shortly.
He was like kind of like a hack from south africa, so it's being written for him by over the staff is rain. Even stop. People like on John stewart was the way it does writers that make that
Do you see when he said the djinn? He had one bit too.
it's hockey. I dunno which writer from the daily show that was any good tomato and he said you're going to be at MSNBC through jobs going to be. You know a lot different that, like not just helping the Biden administration actually you'll be fine like he did. I think acknowledging. I don't think all that solid.
I know driver right it there we go.
Right, let's do it
I like do you really understand what a blessing it is? Maybe it's happened for so long that it might slip your mind. It's a blessing in fact. Ask yourself. This question honestly thought this craft ask yourself this question
do you think the comedian was going to give the audience and the president such a big hand job tonight? Did anybody think that you feel that, underneath your table, that's me giving you a psychic hand job to cover
Are you guys got applaud, rethink about our great you guys? Are you guys are the greatest these countries, the greatest job
It is the greatest cause. He's not gonna. Prosecute me, you guys are the greatest.
The greatest buildings.
It is country in the world collage, I won't you
skip larry. The cable guy
South africa not have free speech or something I don't know. I don't know much about south africa, but he's probably why white supremacist, because he comes from south africa
if
If russia, journalists.
Who are losing their lively. What you're talking about steep and their freedom for daring to report?
The old government is doing.
If they have the freedom to write any words,
any stories or to ask any questions. If they had basically what you have,
Would they be using it in the same way that you do ask yourself that question every day
Because you have one of the most important roles in the world,
which were having me.
Ah boy. I wish I could get a job like that sometime when I would be nice, especially in public, while wearing a suit, there's nothing nicer than that suit driver,
I guess he doesn't read the news. He hosts a show called the daily show. That makes fun of the news, but I guess he doesn't know that the Biden administration is continuing to seek extradition of wiki leaks or sarge, and what for not for lying for telling the truth? That's what Julian Assad's is in prison for
not for not for, but for told the truth about the war crimes that the united states government committed in Iraq. That's why he's in prison.
And so the reason why trevor would never have to worry about making fun of the president is because you're not exposed
anything about the president. You need
say demented once it was,
at one time. If you are, if
However, if you were any kind of threat to power, you wouldn't
have been invited to that park. Dinner like that would be a funny joke if he said that he was at once
Yeah, I'm not gonna, do anything that upsets anybody. If I was, I would be invited that would be a good,
joke at least its honest euro.
We'll misinformation is wanted these eyes and then disinformation is when its honest, but doesn't help,
what's you that this disinformation is wrong.
the independence that says the silence of the press on the julian assange hearings at the disgrace, and they now we remember,
The last time they had one of these by randy credit go, went and he was reporting for us.
in real time from the white house, correspondence dinner and.
he got up, and he was the only one who said anything about julian assange and you know what they did they custom and throughout
Mike rebellious said, I've always respect ah
Bergs worry comedian. My rebellion
he tweeted out I've always respected trevor Noah. So much.
but this closing this closing
speech from the white house. Correspondence dinner is particularly spectacular because he took something: that's meaningful.
site, shaved off all the sharp edges turned
into a pocket. Milk tells bullshit presentation. I think that's why you like.
its legs, I guess he's like a nice bitter butter and jolly sandwich are white bread with the cross cut off debts exactly right, magdeburg wittingly out not have anything against might prevent earlier, but I do have some good jokes about it.
Mike wrigley bigley or as I com, if cocky pants, where a person cover
these super successful. It's ok to make fun.
Is the embodiment of Jackie pads, what they meant for wider
invented
in centurions, but he's right,
Might provisionally is right if you ask any comedian who they respect so much and they will say trevor
I made sometimes, albeit a green room with a bunch of other comics. Just talking shop, you know
start, quoting our favorite doug trevor do a bit of us the only comic ike week we respect as much as trevor. Noah is probably microbe nuclear. The quote set it closed circuit.
I'll get those are the jokes I have to make up for the way you know he doesn't respect forever. No is so much no fucking doesn't china. I don't think he does. I thought that you liar. I thought that was all show business. It was very show busy
he were. He respects using twitter to
just get ahead in show business, I dunno what that gives them to tell that lie about it. Well, here's what max Blumenthal said-
he's a real journalist, and he said I played court gesture.
The president didn't order by assassination. Therefore, the government trying to destroy julian assange for publishing facts that embarrassed its opaque security state.
And corrupt political elite is a shining example of democracy, while joint sancho,
what how blessed he was maybe before he did what he did yeah,
blessing utilised and sub such a wonderful, and so there is trevor Noah given up.
Hi hand job to every a corrupt propagandist in that room
What we want to remind you is that each one of those people are hand selected by the establishment to be in that room right. So that's why people like me:
incurred will never be in a room like that or Julian assange right, because,
color outside the lines- and here is
chomsky going to remind you of how this works.
He was being interviewed, I think, by canadian knee and what's let's, let's along a censoring organization, so he's talking about
how how the establishment media manufactures consent than how each journalist inside a bit his head back and how the the their own
the ship of the media matters and how the who
funds, the media, by meaning advertisers all that stuff and then he's too
think about how each independent journalists, self censorship- and here we go, tell me how that works. Is that you're not suggesting
that proprietors phone one another up all
Many journalists gets were copies spiked, as we say it, sir,
Where will you may recall, hasn't
as a cold literary censorship in england, which was passed in india.
Animal farm, except that it never appeared
sheep, whatever I'm writing about it, that the algerian society, but in free democratic england, it's not all that different
and he says, unpopular ideas can be silenced without any force
it's too, because it concerns response which is not very profound but captured it. He says two reasons: first,
The press is owned by wealthy men who have every interest in not having certain things appear, but second, the whole educational
from the beginning on through just gets. You can understand that there are certain things you just don't say:
well, spelling these things out perfectly
I mean there they first sentences, what
expanded, and this is what I don't get it suggested that an amateur like me are self sensory, no, not self entering
your there's a filtering system that starts in kindergarten because all the way through I and it it's not done work one hundred per cent, but it's pretty effective at it, selects
rebellions, insubordination he's saying tat: we
have a system that feeds people into these media organisations and itself selects for obedience. That's what he just seventy women back it up a little.
The word nation and sport, and I, and especially, I think that I set so stop people won't make it real influence behaviour problems so that people like me card wait! That's why we're comedians, because we learned
Things are not supposed to say and, unlike those people are going to journalists, we save them right. So we say we
off I'd, saying that thing you're not supposed to say, which is. Why were comedians, which is why, when we put our eyes towards journals,
we do a better job than they do.
why you have adhd, so that was most whom I brought up but might like that
apple polish. Your of
trapper keepers imperfect daughter in school and you get the extra credit not like the people that they didn't learn
loving school, so much as they got good grades and school like yours,
Like people, their smartly learn in the end and then the people that are like, oh he's, gonna, look great, I'm application right! That's what
you just trying to be like that, and you would never say anything. I we interfere with your own personal advancement like I'll, be crazy, rang, crazy person with that's what a great that's. Why you're glamour comic? He read applications to have graduate school. You see that
but will tell you he's not don't belong to well, these colleagues, you know his colleague, you know I'm because I was brought up like a lot of people, I'm probably post watergate so and so on.
To believe that journalism was a crusading craft and that there were a lot of disputation strop, a difficult people in german, and I have to say I think I know some of them. While I know some of the best
and best known, investigative reporters in the united states. I won't mention names whose added
the media, is much more cynical than mine in
they regard the media as a sham, and they know when they consciously talk about how they try to
play it like a violin. If they see a little opening, we'll try to scream
something in book. So what
he's telling this journalist from another country is,
I know the best journey
was in the united states, and they all think that
the news media is a sham, so people who are better than you
people who are more celebrated and morphine
well, then you, as journalists, think this is a big jam in there
were cynical than me. So what he's got
also saying that guy's you're a bit of a chump, because people who are your superiors in and you
betters and we all know they are ward when they think this is much worse than in your defending this system that they think is a sham. So that's what he's
still telling that guy in that moment is. Are we going to ruin? The guy said? Are you saying we sell sensor because what you- because I also does not say you- don't have the capacity to even
break out of the hands. That's what he seemed like a lower by the way where
what what's amazing, is tat. You know not sing it, they wouldn't help you. I got a comedy specifically, so I would never have to make a tweet saying how much I respect trevor know. If I can find a dog to a dollar five. I would never have millions of the tweet about how amazing I mean the news
sleep after that. Nobody makes the walks wouldn't make it through.
And it's probably true that the major I'm sure your speaking for the majority of journalists who are trained have it
driven into their heads that isn't crusading of greater profession, adversarial. We stand up against power very.
Observing view. On the other hand, in my opinion, I hate them like a value judgment, but the better journalists and in fact,
the ones who are often regarded as the best journalist quite a different picture, and I think a very realistic one
How can you? How can you know that I'm self sensory? How can you knows? I am truly believe everything
But what I'm saying is, if you believe something different, you wouldn't be sitting there should ban.
I'm saying
if you weren't says, if you didn't think what you thought you were saying what you're saying you wouldn't be sitting in that chair. So that's
So that's good for everybody. Now, maybe Michael see this and hill understand how shady journalism is in america, and why would trevor no said was a fucking joke and an insult
and it only getting only plays do shit lives who are absent.
Idea, what is actually happening in the world or their cause.
free or in the news. You see you gotta, have a barricade
depends on your mind
made it is your mind and gagging. Let me just show julian sires Julian sought is talking about the meat, how them
how every war get started by the media who we are and find aging and hitting it concerns me.
number one enemy,
one enemy is ignorance, and I believe that is the number one in me. If everyone is not understanding what is actually going on in the world it s only when you start to understand that you can make effective decisions unaffected. Plans now question is who is promoting ignorance closer
as organizations that try to keep things secret and those organizations which distort true information to make it false misrepresentative in it's latter category, and it is bad media. I mean it really is my my opinion that media in general are so bad, so that we would have to question whether the world wouldn't be better off without them altogether and there's some very refined journalists and- and we work with many of them and some fine meteor organizations for the vast majority of awful awful and are so distortive to how the world actually is
the result is we see wars and we say corrupt governments continue on. One of the hopeful things that I have discovered is that nearly every war that had started in the past fifty years has been a result of media lies. The media could have stopped it if they had searched deep enough if they hadn't and reprinted government propaganda, they could have stopped it, but what does that mean? Well, that means basically populations. Don't like wars and populations,
have to be fooled into wars, populations dying willingly and without like this, like this, you great war and how we ve been fooled into supporting this.
extending the war against russia
the war should be over, there should be as a subtle peace negotiation.
We all know how this is gonna end up and what the united states
Doing is using the people in ukraine as cannon fodder.
and so is NATO denies going to war? If, if we have a good media environment, then also have a peaceful, and rightly so,
there you go! So that's what the media is doing, media starting wars, not stopping them,
and the media, of course, is the number one smear of guy
like telling you the truth: they're not gonna. Tell you,
the truth, the media's so bad, so corrupt they do so.
horrible job in me,
Informing people that we'd be better,
off without them. That's what julius answers
and there's a lot of truth in. I don't want to hear this
ukraine you it is even like,
at least with the iraq war,
they at least we're like? Well, we were attacked. I know I mean they didn't connect, but they're like we're tat, gonna. Let us was to care about this like like ukraine's the fifty first state. I not there.
There are worry about this information, or are we fighting the war? Why wouldn't matter what the disinformation is here? We write what possible like that
thing it's crazy, you're like we need you to be on board. For this thing, that's not your countries.
One, but you need a care deeply about it that should be sought.
but to everybody of why
want me to care about the people of ukraine while there
I care about the people of yemen. That's that's another!
thing. I forgot to bring that up. You know that at will
trevor no is saying that and talking about those
there was a new great. What are you talk about? The journalists in yemen want a job.
the journalists in libya, why don't you talk about the journalists in syria, where the united states is occupying a third of that country illegally right now, which third of that country? Do you think it is it's the part with the oil? Why don't you
What about the journalists in afghanistan? Why we're we're killing more people now than when we were bombing the place that so that's the catch? So that's why Joe? So I just want us
they do our friend microbes uglier. That's the problem.
And your surface level. Understanding of politics is laughable, actually good joke
at one in one of those better once that fact that was good.
I was unbelievable bullshit. That's why
that's why trevor nor was invited there because he's a milk toes. What asked liquor
of the fuckin establishment? That's why he got hired. You know we shall all wolf,
don't get a good job, but she did not like it was particularly edgy. It wasn't like no, she just how little yeah she did. She told the small truth at the end of the thing about how they love drop in on my money on them and they beheld
dialogue over that you're drunk
Take a job. That's the big thing about him. Yeah, all these every hollywood dizzy
somebody, says a minor truth to them, as I ah ha yeah like.
take a joke yet drops a regular will smith, the guy who's, the guy, you save the academy award to in a standing ovation,
hey. You know, here's another great, where you can help support the show you should be.
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so we're gonna talk about dead, Dave, chapelle, first right, and so what
I told you my mom just called me now said the be careful on stage. Could I just heard kurtzman collar and say be careful on stage. I just heard that
like you preside, heard how tall you six three six, just under six for you so curt six! Four!
and about maybe does it look big big on the computer or on the wall.
Drugs are drugs, and I don't know what that I mean. That's probably now this
such so here it is cited to theirs dave, Chapelle and he's getting that's that that's that action shot there is the guide tackling it
he's on stage at the hollywood bowl for netflix. As a joke, I would say the security at netflix is a joke as a job.
it's better than the oscar,
it's a given that yeah yeah
It was better than the oscar wilde was big. It was because it wasn't a celebrity attacking him if that was wilson.
I bet everybody, we just sit around and laughed and then,
then a given him or us would be funny if we'll psmith just got the chappelle two out of nowhere. You started nowhere. Wilson is what, after Dave Chappelle, that would be funny.
So there it is so that happen that was last night there is getting. You could get tackle
Any got knocked over pretty good, too.
and uh he's wearing a suit. That's about it is about a suit, so here their despair. There did you see it like? I said that
look. There's a guy. You guys doing a comedy show there. It is.
That's a pretty good hit. You got a pretty good. His dave chappelle has been workin out. When I met act, I'm I met,
dave when he was like nineteen years old, I work with him in Chicago. We took him around chicago
or weaken or whatever, and he had the skin. He was like Jimmy J, J walker, skinny antonov. You know who that is
skinny, like outer I'm thinking trying to like it. Legal, like the skinny, his person you ever
he had skinny when I wrote for me, was like skinny style, which should also is a super scary, you what he has bulked up now I mean
if you see him is huge
he's real. I would never tried tackle away. I would try to tackle and now he's huge right, so her air. It is,
longshot. Here's a longshot, oh yeah, that's from sky news,
let's watch the sewage systems like. Where do you come from his body? Some guy
They make was clumsy
areas so here Dave, Chapelle comes back out any says and chris
Iraq is watch this. That's it was that will smith, that's all I wanted to get,
he eventually says. I think it was a trans man,
so he says it's a joke and everybody laughed right: ok,
so now here's the guy that did it they they kind of beat the crap out of
you see. How did you see his arm ass? I can
It's like looks like a broken arm. It looks like
Hence the wrong way
my time and twisted it and made a bend the wrong way and his face is also beaten up. You can't see it in this picture, but he has closed I, and so I think they set an example for what you got.
What happened to you if you attack a comedian onstage,
and you're not will smith
your wales, where everybody everybody's gonna keep their shit together. For a few seconds,
But if your anyone else, that's what's gonna happen to you,
Pray to god, you names will smooth v, will psmith not just another one of the many? Well, that's right, so you that's pretty were matter datum, pretty bent our much.
So that's. Why can't I just bent arm so
the los Angeles police department told NBC that the male suspect had been armed with. Can you see it?
I found out what his name is I'll. Take it up right now, debate
suspect, had been armed with a replica gun that could eject a knife blade when discharged correctly. Why
it was. It was unclear if the suspect made an attempt to use the weapon for news I heard was he had a replica gun with a knife attached to it, which I assume meant like a bayonet on your gun, but it's a
they gonna shoot knives. Let me guess you press a button in the night night comes out. Do you want
This is one of the guys we're according to abc seven Isaiah Lee twenty three was taking.
two custody tuesday night after tackling chapelle during the performance. That's what I have
I'll, find out anything. You do not have the right and I'm looking at that two replica
and gun knife was
and, with a replica hand, gun nice vote,
The rapporteur, whose knife blade extends outward from underneath the guns barrel, though.
a switch night? A switch gun tat looks like that.
A man charged and tackled chapelle, just the show, was ending according to brianna sacks a reporter at the show. She said, security rushed in
punching in kicking the shit out of chappelle as adapter
Wait till the end of the show has of polite very politely. Wait until the end people get their money is worth another journal
said the show said they had lunged at chapelle and sent him flying in the airy fell backwards on his back with his arms and legs up in the air. He was obviously in shock. We were all in shock, so here it, after will smith slapped chris rock here's the kind
stuff that was all over twittered. This tweet is still up so it's by some
He called J d. Occasionally this is
Then it's a trans woman, Dave Chapelle your next. Why is that? Ok cause you're it
Is it ok for trans people to advocate for violence against anybody? The tapes
never advocated for violence against trans women,
while his citizens, by making a joke directly. That document is
he'll just saying anything about it? There is an exact.
We were familiar. Twitter was your exactly
is the same as killed. What this is like just five out of you
Those people think it's not violence if its lights for a good conscience, like literally
They think is up violence. So what
to redefine everything not taken. Have this gonna abolishing corrects courtesy, this fifty six thousand likes.
that's that wasn't just a random. I mean this.
might be a random person.
I'm saying is fifty six thousand likes so that, speaking for a large swathes of the of some kind of
population, a budgets, almost tradespeople, a betcha, mostly
although I don't think, there's fifty six thousand tradespeople following this person,
Where's, oh, no, I don't think that's mostly tradespeople either yeah. What is it that will? I think, that's I think, that's a double standard. I think that's the crazy double standard that tweets.
up as bail. You would think that when I came as a mail as I came at what I came to the showed us that we were still up there's another one,
look, I'm sorry, but I would love to see more comedians who say shit like this get slapped. My
each them humility and manners
that guy, really as one respect for the movie Georgiana, that's at right, that's
semi transit city.
Demands rights. They them so that's another tranche person who is calling for violence.
No, it is he care about what chris rock like today
you wanna, get chapels so much that the resulting waste
nothing to do with anything train. No, they can always people jump on it like you get now get chapelle like well, it seems like their data like their violent. It seems like theirs is: there's a swathe of the vocal trans community.
It seems like the most vocal ones. I mean I don't know. I don't know betty tradespeople except the ones who are vocal, so I dont know
you know I'm not an oversight, a view, and none of them were like those yeah. That's all
for I mean I've heard you talk about that. You know. Quite a few tradespeople
or do we will be in new york up all night around town you gonna bond,
of what I do a transmute. Like
I can't I've never met someone who acted like that. Ever in real life on twitter, you, you would get the impression
It's like really comment. You know Joe
like twitter socks. I really does like. So it's just crazy. That I mean and again I think
I think I would be considered an ally for the elderly bt q. I community not the aids, the old
He beating you eyes. I stopped at the eyes and knows it's a sexual awhile.
Did the pick a team. I found it that's the way. I don't know anyone. I know that the border at the one night I make jokes about, but I work. I would note that I can see.
an advocate for their one hundred per cent of civil rights.
Discrimination in any way, employment in housing and anything. So,
that used to be called an hour, so
What they'll call me now, but that's what I think
More importantly, this is keyboard. What like you, don't
probably never many. What I personally as because those people who you meet in person- and a lot of these is like
to online people. You know who are always like road rage maniacs when it suits them. You know yeah, there's another one,
I personally would like to see more comedians get slapped up. I'm talking about David,
held by the way, wake and I've. But I loved the good.
Situation. I I personally com, I comma personally comments nice. Are they did that right? Yeah, you know
I can see a big researches of the three stooges right about now, the correct it
someone should slapped the shit out of date, too said: blake the ledge. Yes, that's
so again here projecting on crews rock their bishop ollinger since worthless-
been comedians. Let's do Dave Chapelle next dietrich
and I know none of these people got their tweets taken down or got kicked off twitter for advocating violence and its and its targeted,
It is the most I the most targeted those targeted violence. You could ever have surgical precision.
Tony baker, comedian, tony baker, said some do tackled Dave chapelle on stage and that dude got stamped out forthwith
took his arm off and put it back on backwards. That's what I get this attacking people on stage. Ain't gonna fly,
a measure will serve as a group. Have let you d better, be very famous and liked by make a lot of money for a lot of people, a lot of people? That's right, some, not daddy,
twenty three year old kid I'll tell you that. So I think that's it for this, but there you go. So that's what deb and I predicted this and I'll- add not that it take it.
Amsterdam- is to predict this, but I tweet out immediately after will smith's did that that this makes every
for every life performer less safe. What he D did was he didn't protect women
He wasn't protecting anybody, he was making.
Everybody less safe, including women who are performers, live performers now.
psmith doesn't perform live anymore, so he doesn't give a shit.
Always has protected under a movie set. Now, if you,
We still do instead of comedy. I bet he would
differently about smacking performer and set in that kind of an example? What's that we'll smith did stand up
didn't he I mean he did right. It was rapper, he is a rapper. He didn't do stand up is a rap. Well, I bought that you could tell they're sending a message because they broke his slap, an arm yeah, oh yeah, so, okay, so that's that so it happened so
even when I tweeted that out that this is makes everybody less safe. This is so now the next time.
A comedian has to deal with a female heckler at a show that female
hecklers, husband or boyfriend is going to feel emboldened to go. Do something about it to that comedian? That's what I said
and I remember a good friend of the show dc bureau chief of the innocent.
I'm grim. Do he tweeted. That said, he's right, so you know I here I was right. If back I tweeted said I was right, the aids
I remember you saying it and I was like you know I like that,
They were like yeah. I mean I just an expected quickly. We would hear hear.
come true, cotta, really shocks. Yachts, almost like the next time Dave Chapelle did, as did a concert he got to tackle this
agenda,
Adam Amy that kid had to pay a pretty penny to get those see. He was up from her out of the gate. You can.
At the hollywood bowl you just can't come from the stands and make it out to the state,
without someone stopping you right. That's why he would
ITALY and they show he probably paid a lot of those tickets, and you want to see you wanted to see the ship up up up up up. Why did you
at the end, everyone stop has died out. If you really want to hurt somebody do a right at the beginning. Now he, while he wanted to see the shoe cost of seven,
by bugs, I bet would have returned.
This has nothing to do with anything trends and he was like trying to impress jody fosters or something like that. You know when that language, maybe if you lose track,
try to oppress caitlin jenner, youth.
all right. So there it happened. We predicted it would happen, seems like as soon as he started performing it happened and I hope,
every all. All those people are proud of themselves that they were wishing violence on David, a bell and it happen if they are
Are you studying openly on twitter with no repercussions? Yeah you're right? You can threaten it.
Said at the end glowed about it. If you are on the right algorithm with them. Ok, so I dont I've been attacked on stage three times.
one was someone throwing a glass at me? I think that counts headache blackouts. So, anyway, there you go it
it's it's. You know often I'll be at not often, but every once in a while beyond stage and I'll have a thought like wow somebody could do something
like I'm very vulnerable and clusters
in your eyes one year if the if the comedy club is lit correctly they'll, be
in the performer's eyes num a lot of the clubs, I play they liked the audience and they don't like the comedian. I know that sounds funny, but that's how it works. They like to light the audience.
I don't know what it is about: poverty clubs, but they like the light, the audio,
Have you to be noticed that currently play comedy clubs, but I only it is able to see them and if you like it you're one of those guys, you ya
for an attack from all. So I like to check my, but I don't want it.
Were there like crazy, but if I can't see him, I feel,
like I'm caught off guard
we'll go back when I can't see like if something goes wrong. If I can see people
just have more like power over what's going on, I feel like, but
that's Zaher I'll be here.
On extra guard. Now, that's really something then yeah. Ah I'm talking about
the audience? Is better lifted the comedian? That's what I'm talking about you! That's thus ongoing about yeah. That's it experienced
many times and I'm sure I'm gonna experts have many more times this there's two things.
Poverty clubs out to get right
the sound and the light, and they find a way to mess them up. Ninety percent of the time only timber
none of the clubs I go to have sounded like a correct, also itself,
crapshoot on security lake
go in, assuming that I'm gonna have to about the that's right, yeah. That guy is kind of accept that, but sometime plays a great.
but somewhat my head. I had a club of manager say to me one time I was like. I was ok what what
We have any bout surgeon. I just got to deal with the shit and pop up and he
you got a microphone? Can you can handle it? I have a microsoft ever microbes have to do is show
That is why the bouts, the bucket room, I won't like
someplace it'll be really like gets around like I won't even want them. Take someone up. Somebody like
heckling me is like fine to me, because you are engaging me so that I can work with that. Really easy.
The thing that all measures show up, as you know, a physical attack or he we're someone's being a huge dislike it just
the top is either when there is a major, huge distraction idea it for me.
It's worse. If they're not talking to me like right, exactly the only time I ever walked a room was when there was a
Will the people and they wouldn't stop talking to each other.
and they were like two tables back from the stage- and I said: hey you guys, gonna shut up is it is directing and they go out. We're not gonna. Bothering you
and I go know what the fuck you guys,
in full blown conversations to feed from the states is people harassed.
You show your not funny, and there
again there was they probably,
ten bouncers at this place. There was it it was. It was called
always in livonia and on the bottom floor was a nightclub and others
on the upper floor was the comedy club. There was not one bouncer in
fuck em, comedy club they're. All doubts
trying to get laid,
so here we are. We gonna fuckin, two hundred people pact, I'm a special event and the
not one bouncer in the room, and so I voted
and so I was I decided well at they don't give a fuck. Why should I give a fuck, and so I just started insulting
that table until they left and
They they were not going to leave, they were going, they were hunkered, it's about, so the rest of the crowd left that got they wanted to see the show- and I was like I'm not doing a show until these people leave and they were
Don't leave and they
didn't get about, sir, and so that's what happens when you running? So that's how comedy clubs I run in general. So is theirs.
Percent of comedy clubs. Anyone really well most commonly clubs are not an that's. The problem with got ready. Clubs that
why people when they could play theatres, they immediately plate theatres but dumb and the good clubs. You know what they are right. We displayed a couple of them.
but anyway, very there is that stage about.
This is due.
Who's this,
beds. Oh, are you Jeremy? I gotta get stripped what cause of red vs wade
Let me tell you baby. These ladys are stained man you're mad. With the report outlines. The dude is complete
He died down there like a regionally apprehended terror suspects. This is your first thought was
The roe wade probably getting overturn to make
about your own love life
what I do this is about make sense of what sector me up go back. I can't believe this is happening to me.
The nightmare of ever imagined. It might happen, lots of people. That's how could the Democrats, let us down like that?
good. What with do you guys, really think wait? A minute, I thought you were libertarian. I am I
flag on my car and everything we there's a flag. I designed it myself.
trade on me. Snake wearing sunglasses, then deal with it.
I hey, you know, there's a lot more to that phone call, but we don't have time in today's podcast. How do you hear the entire phone call? You've got to become a premium member, go to Jimmy Dore, comedy
cobb sign up it's the most.
the horrible premium program in the business, the all the voices performed today by the one and the only the inimitable mike mcrae can be found at MIKE mccray dot com. That's it for this week, you'd be the best you can be and I'll keep being me
don't don't worry, I don't want you, don't don't I don't worry. You got married
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