« The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds

557 - Augustus Woodward - live

2022-11-01 | 🔗

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine Judge Augustus Woodward of the Michigan Territory. Recorded live in Michigan. 

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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say that enough, its awesome I had your tacos. is air, quoting tacos. Why don't you just not try? Have you considered that go ahead and don't don't just don't you got you guys can do like? What do you do she, and it's already do up here. Do some fish scale, all I or whatever cook, it's like a walleye yeah tacos! No, no! No! No! No! No! No! No! it's really where'd! You go! That's what they want to know where it stands. Davy here's the deal. Our above the goods gub rubs, then the big part. What are you gonna get our news. Things are
that cause. You aren't after me what serious, specifically mexico that try gone now your honor, how many pepperoni on inside admire barker gaga? slice of cheddar cheese I put in the panini press, you got pocket taco bar area and all that stuff. What kind of ketchup you want started back off? Malia at the oh. Law did you go to stands out after They wanted and I had backed by a burger bun got it back I am very barely like Get out here for John everywhere broad mess. The power line, aren't
what the ballot exactly what I believe I dare raise more attentive. Now surfboard, in the dining room, yeah, that's right: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, hey yeah! Alright, yeah, the practice swings out of the way and the dull is brought to buy a square space squares base, of course, is a domain website online store marketing tool analytics the hall. Business all in one. I first started working with square space years ago you ye, maybe a century we ve been around working together forever. So spaces verse attracted to because very very easy to use chris clean look templates
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based dot com, such dog for a free trial, and when you re launch use the offer code dollop to save ten percent off your first point, just of a website or domain. You're less did a dial up the. It's an american industry podcast were each week I Dave Anthony restored american history the guy who is in my van. man named Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about our ban Denying your van like a possum well as exactly how it is described in the show, pamphlet,
here is an amazing thing that happened. We were driving in the Van. Our van and Dave tried to rubber shoulder- and I said: don't do that and he's why not? It's the shoulder rub, tor, and I said no, it isn't and he goes yet is and then, within thirty seconds he had changed, does like three weeks ago. He had changed our two weeks ago. I changed it. on our side, the shoulder rub, tour and then yesterday. Yes, We're coming here, I agree that it's still up and unlike what the fuck just left it up. So people are like it's fine for sure robert shoulder. Does it an attack or walk under his ads
shoulder up to now, officially, as an eye is allowed to rob me, which is fine, as is pathetic. November, seventeen, seventy four nine, nineteen, seventy four, seventeen. Seventy four oh november, seventeenth, seventy four yeah see. We all thought you meant november. Seventeenth, nineteen, seventy four and you were just being kind of cool like seventy bar. What's up other than seventeen, seventy seventeen, seventy four okay, Elias woodward was born to a luxury goods importer and his wife. So is that his mother in Virginia yeah, it's mom, ok,. he's kind tacked on like she had nothing to do with it,. and unless sulphur birthing,
your father and the thing that put you out anyway: there may either way. Ok, her Family was one of the oldest and wealthiest in new york. when the revolutionary war broke out alliance is father, join the americans and fought okay, but their landlord was a loyalist and he confiscated everything they owned, and that was in the store. The woodward family families now destitute, and then everybody I mean. I Landlord, no matter like if you're a landlord, yeah yeah, I believe the one where I get to take all your shit. That's what if you have to that yeah, that's which one of them I'm sticking with that pressure and they ve, never I ve never change. Now they have not nice guy. You can't get scary deposit back. There was a spot the spot was there before I moved in it now got bigger.
I think it is a overtime despotic. Greece's I've done nothing to lose by its water damage. Ok,. I'm gonna. Take you to court. Well now I can't afford that. That's one of the my security deposit pump and amp amp amp. Okay, let's see okay he'd probably be living in advance, with approval, a co ownership to coop up yeah, you're leasing. They they never recovered from the landlord taken other stuff, but nice then alive uncle came to help him and paid for and to go to colombia college
So while he was at college, allies decided to change his name. The name is a lot Elias, Elias or allies Elias, okay, he thought allies is too common, so he changed it to Augustus. What that I, like that move, that's like when I wanted to be spike Elias is too so augusta augusta. He is brilliant. He studied greek Elias yeah so by a good move. He said a greek and latin, he learned french. I was very into city planning, as we all are when we go to sure college. This could be so much we'll have a stands. It's going to be unbelievable, big things for this town. I see his his classmates thought he was odd sure.
He's very tall weirdo right there. Retail should be able throw things out there. And charlie freak if you stop growing, I'm almost done what the drying guys it grow, Swear to two weeks. Thank you. Five foot, eight weirdo yeah three I have like the rest of us tall, the size of him almost five and a half feet. Peter enormous size, seven god, jokes, biographer, arthur Woodford, wrote, quote six feet three or four inches tall, thin, sallow, stooped his long narrow face was dominated by a big knows?
The only outward vestige of vanity was a generous crop of thick black hair. His contemporaries commented on his slovenliness on his slovenliness love and loneliness southern Slovan leanness. We gotta say it backwards. Lovin, leanness, arrogant, author mickey lyons quote: he devoted lavish attention to his hair and clothing, but it was exceedingly neglectful of personal hygiene. Geez. He was a stud. This guy should have just drawn like a couple of like stink lines coming off, maybe like a fly like give him like the pig pen yeah, the graduate and move the philadelphia. I mean when you're talking about like seventeen hundred are eighty hundred stick, your bad. You are talking like like outhouse, Oh yeah, no you're like for people back then to be like, is distinctly wanted. Like everybody's staked everything stakes,
origin and buckets yeah. He had to be a fuckin nightmare, horrendous smell. just a guy rubbing shit, I'm self going out for the day, manure, only one run by Nora those me what's that bad cheese karla tacos. Go to stand. As the graduates he moved to philadelphia, I started practicing law share, his uncle dies and seventy ninety seven and leaves him a small inheritance which augustus used to move to washington, d c nice and he opened an office slash home close to where this Aids were building the white house, churches putty, how realities really tough to digest like a stand. Taco.
So he sets up a law practice he's got keep the stand step in from the beginning. You realize that was. I think people like what's going on with this day intact, like eminent. He was an eye age you, but I don't feel so good, it was mexican food, starting in my neighborhood. But I ate it, and now I got a bad bad, real rapid. you call a rude, but that's not unlike a meal, some water coming out of my rear. factories are, you should call that shit future die, rear. ha.
So I guess this is the first attorney to establish a lot practice in dc man. What time. He slept in his office nice, but is practised, so small is barely making a living in that works. He makes connections the biggest one was thomas jefferson. maybe he and we'll be friends for the rest of their lives. They have the same political beliefs, they may have also headed off cause. Jefferson was also a bit of a weirdo sure Proven history in Silas farmer quote, the judge was very tall with a sallow complexion and usually appeared in court with a long loose overcoat or a swallow tailed coat with brass buttons, a red cravat, so it was cravat corvid. Vest wood, which always which your home phone book.
which was always open and from which produce words those, wisdoms. I Its protruded, a mass of ruffles re, noses agreement on you, but I hope you, ladies thy ridges. Israel. These to get permission to approach the bridge The blow your five without which put up spare me these last year. But the broad revels at his wrists, where invariably soiled repay, sets out its work goes. You. His pantaloons hung in folds to his feet: meaningless, They're off prepared, seraph, meaning air boots, which were always well greased.
Never known to be fully and he was never going to be fully under the influence of liquor, but always The glass of brandy on the bench before him historian, James James Campbell, wrote, quote his room was conspicuous for disorder, books and papers. All over the floor. It seemed like he didn't own, a broom or hands or aunts paper. Why didn't you? Ok, I doubt my god we're but my lawyer is drinking brandy. My cases on the floor. He flew. Historians, silence farmer quote Ever was odd and unreasonable. He was sure to do what, if there say, funders thunderstorm his chair was play outside the door, and he would calmly sit and take his shower bath. You're telling me this guy's dunk,
I was also when god decides it's time. Diver me to out. What's the lord, doing a shower bath. So I mean You're hitting me with a ladder, you really It's not my fault that I can't stop. Talking like he is brilliant augustus published pamphlets called considerations the government of the territory of colombia caused sunk. Stiffness scholars still refer to the pamphlet today, so Isn't politics and eighteen o to which he was elected to the city council of deceit, but he's not into it? He steps down before the term is up. His intellect, however, gained him attention with the dc it's pure charles. Allow far was a frenchman ice who was.
who served under washington in the war. Any help come up with the urban plan for dc based on perry. Yes, should be a fucking nightmare, should be a nightmare. Was one big circle in the middle of it are lacking. Ass. Try where you're just pop your smoke out in the middle of the plan is quite straightforward. Nagging jars. Fuck, your greed. Nobody will be able to get anywhere. Nothing will be done ever. Nothing will ever get accomplish that everyone will go. Their swearing changes sees them system, but they won't be able, because the gridlock on the streets and in the system that is a total nightmare two to four years. You will have a transfer of some kind of power and that will promise extreme change because they will not do it either, because the pendulum swings back and forth till virtually everyone just get sick of it and sit on the sidelines
is a rich get richer and the poor get part is added to this from the hour. I guess it's perfect there really rich people, you won't be able to adjust to their neighborhoods to be a gated communities and the poor will fight each other and they're like rats on a ship or that, look like the bit now. It actually is true, they put in large boulevard, so you could drive through the poor neighbourhood. That's right, that's what they pubs, and so Why boulevards with radials connected to central hubs and augustus thought this was amazing. Parry carried a copy of the plans for the city in a drawing a notebook
a little drawing harry the he had. There's no book just sit down a coffee shop go people. Look. What they're doing I thought I'd be porn gives me the same thing. The city planner whoops for us all. That was my nose cause this guy's, a french tickle around in eighteen, o. Five president jefferson news. Now, the president thomas jefferson appointed Augustus as one of three supreme court justices in the new territory of michigan. now here, I've on june thirtieth nineteen days before a fire had begun near the stables of John harvey.
We had tapped his pipe on his shoe easy jobs, some burning tobacco into pay and then it caught on fire- and there was this when a people discovered that hae was flammable or just bad, just not listening to reason. We wish they always shows your perfect. What's the worst that can oh good, bye everything, a boy- that's not just an old wives, dale, isn't that really does go. There's no fired. Parliament, so while the city was about three hundred, would buildings on four acres and locals: try to save the city with a bucket brigade taking water from the river and in a long line so that work reserve has fired bucket, beats fire. That from rock paper bucket directs isn't rock fire rock fire buckets is as yet. The entire city was burned down, except an all british fort and some brick chimneys
is when someone, but I'll bet you, the hype, had a great rip. I bet you're very bad at some good, jerry beckett. I realize we're all sitting here looking at our city burn, but I would just like to say it was worth it. I got a really hot rebuff. The pipe really enjoyed the pipe and I have learned a valuable lesson. not really. No, I haven't the artist. I do it again. That's good feeling, It goes into line lungs. Oh it's! The things like to point out the guy with the dogs in this one too, this guy. Do. As I tell the final step, Burn more than that, I really just started again it down. We could stop spreading, stop moving girl, good lord. so the new governor,
was william ok, but when the fire happened- and he had now so what he had also not arrived yet so did the only. It's like! What's what did I miss out have been as my city to check in the fuck. Did you guys do here? The steak looks different Spoke here then, I remembered, I guess, all this I guess I'll live in that chimney so governor. Yes, I'm the guy who started the fire. My name escapes me, but I wanted to let you know. We all know it's john army at me all right. Every person alive John. We thank you could have left me hanging out to dry word. You really have been quite the pipeline where
That's what I was going to say. I apologize. But I wanted to let you know how worth it it was. This. I am really ripped good. I would love to hold that again. You, but I have had a nice sweet rip on a pipe before they could watch live. People like you and I am sure cargo has won right worth it up so loudly. That's why people love you, you connect with us on a level that If the can understand the people you do still with us. kill just gotta my name before you do so The only guy in authority was one Supreme court justice. Who was there. but he had no legal power torrent.
Average, that's frederick bates so upon arriving augustus with the proper documentation to get the construction of the new city started waterward had he had the long thoughts plans for dc obesity? Is it again that he's Detroit So here he's got the plans. Sure yeah, of course, didn't yeah. Syria is a gross DC Parents are massive cities with huge populations. At this point there is a People living in Detroit she'll be fine, It's a city mostly that by the river that uses fish in water for crops most farms
We're along the river very long and skinny and the people meet with the the new governor and the judges and say they want to rebuild as soon as possible, but they are not allowed to write because Augustus as this plant the year we go now we're getting somewhere that he is drawn up with a radial avenues emerging from meeting places and parks ok yeah! I made very very parasite. There's eight hundred people, yeah, there's eight hundred people in this town, eight other peoples that everybody gets seven buildings. He's planning a city where blocks will be replicated from for millions as the city grow.
Since stretches out four miles. You riding exiting there's plenty of millions of people. Here I here's how we're gonna do it once everyone starts fucking far and then there are portals with the children inside of them. Now you people in detroit, you breed like spiders right, there's, a bunch that come out at once. Yeah you lay eggs, correct, eggplant,. Using your skin caviar bears and mri, the first plan comes up with is a city of fifty thousand residents. Nevertheless, eight hundred people, because he met the fuckin french really loved and where is like this is so great. This could work anywhere whether it needs to be a lot of people literally anywhere. Even if there are people. I don't think I'm listening to me anymore. That's right anywhere, no matter how many people
So they drove on that not actually hit fifty thousand for like sixty years. He wants to put Bora boulevards down what was basically just wilderness. Peace will be made, sharp after shop all just think of it. What's the people get Does it to be sharp after shack boulevards running through your people will be coming off of buses and going wow and they'll be spitting in the town centre once there's people he obviously which won't be long because there's gotta be a lotta. Babies expires, spiders,
That's how they ll come out, t shirt cannons, but children, every baby gets a store and a shop and a building right. So he all this ignored the fact that everyone Detroit was packed around the river because that's how they made their living now that'll change once they realize there's big shops everywhere. They won't need food crops to be a lot of talk of spots. People in this country, a big clamouring for the famous detroit tackle. sadly, no one is interested in a hundred and twenty young, but my boy and growing bags, this city,
especially the boulevards going through their farm they're, just not into it, except governor hull he's like yeah. This is a great, a really good call. The only thing augustus did not want to change was the location of the fort, which was stupid as which is as stupid as planting a city of sixty thousand for eight hundred people. The fort is in a terrible location too far and too far from the river, where everyone lips- okay. So so it can't protect the people, because it's too our back right. If ships pull up with maritime brain, which is the easiest way to attack, is already. Everyone hurried to the fort takers, two weeks to get there should be long, but We do boy we're going to pass some shops and stores help everybody
like malls, then you the freeways over there, so so super smart, but just enamoured with a terrible, terrible, just not reality being right. He's just like wants to do what he wants to do all these people are homeless now, because there has all burned down. And a very good news for you, people and he tells them they should figure what detroit could become. and plan for we're trying to eat well. But what about the theatre? What ok, what about radios and arc. We need crops. Well, ok, he said it will become a city quote thriving with people characterized by industry and abounding in the production and arts which, minister to the convenience and comfort of man and they're like sitting by
jimmy going fact dude. I need a fuckin house. I'll have a chimney right now. Well, do have any actors we're looking discards and theatres dove Anyone in their due and proper comedy doolittle, zip laptop sorry that you lost everything. Would anyone care to be a sous chef, hot new restaurant ever heard you shouldn't whoop about it free burrito who's, this guy you're gonna love it. just abandon your reality. I need food at a place to sleep. Well, what's the? U actors union eyes
Fact few young act out we're fishermen and farmers in there's like a tanner like there's, nothing else gone on theirs. Eight hundred of us is that maybe right, a musical about that story, and you could produce that on one of our stages in the big city. If I don't starved to death, exactly will write something about tat and then what you're doing these big plays? There will be stores opening up around you and that's commerce and then the next thing you know you have spider. Babies in this city is pop in motown, motown, motown foam everyone's homes is burnt down there in care. They need immediate help. Augustus, however, thinks his plan is very generous because each white man
Over seventeen, but to get a plot of land and they re drew property line, so everyone had larger and very even plots which led the years of in fighting and accusations of theft, sure it just cause so he hired a canadian surveyor. But to your point is well, it's like you are not going to leave the land that you are active, rivah like where things are like fairly functional, the non to go somewhere far away and be like a's sucks it sucks, but it's even is that yeah right yeah he hires, any surveyor to plot out the city and as the survey gets to work, the people are Detroit just start building homes wherever they want Peppa peppa, what am I doing here now wait a second. We need some time to pay. You're out, where it all work so property these back that are busy, thereby handshakes, so there's no records of who owned what my kind,
whose handed you share. I've just try to get to the bottom of this. What because this is supposed to be? You should restaurant. We I do share. Do you understand what the problem is? A big problem should birds and who's that he lives over yonder, not he's not allowed to live there that whether there goes the fuck is wrong. You'll pay pal. What do I got mad at mother, fucker. The whole know that to do cause you're right, so everyone's just fighting and lawsuits are happening and he puts a stop to building it and instead of stepping up, he just starts sulking.
nobody like will I'm doing with type doing something: wonderful and everyone I will survive. Then, if you must say what I care, not brandy, brandy brand in october, he, you must love snuff here because of the now. In october he and governor hall went to d c, so they be easy to pitch their plans for this city to congress in congress is like that sounds great, but of course, angers perfect, where great. Later Augustus admits that he bought the congressmen over three hundred dollars. A wine and got them ploughed. Does never I mean, as it's just never function. No ever ever they're all
is just like liquor and gravy based just like now. About the aren't you supposed to represent the people. we know However, I like to have fun. If I have fun and that's cool better, that's better than fuck the people I get stuff that I like. Why would I help people to understand the whole can see that the govern, Well but Debbie, I read about good gravy pushed back. So I guess this is abstaining in d c until April. Ok, but he's here Our jefferson he's going to parties because of the nightmare situation with property claims in lawsuits in detroit. No one builds a house in eighteen o six, while wow. So when
because he's just having like a vacation, yeah he's partying and having a good time people like. So when are we building this huge cities? I admit, let me and I'm having to relax, let a guy chill Have you heard of jello shots. So when it gets us at all, come back. They bring with them the articles of incorporation to establish a private bank in Detroit. It is backed by east coast investors who it turns out, had no money but we're using loans to set the bank wow so to give back. Ok, so just obviously very cool straight up awesome backs a telescope.
Yeah great congress was against it from the beginning augustus, erudite reference. I guess this is an aim bank president, he or one million in bills to be circulated, but there were only there is only twenty thousand dollars to back the bills, while what's so so he ship the bills east, mostly to boston, and that was done because there's a fire let's have a chance for people to redeem them. Does that I had a dramatic problem. That's not good right because it is, but we don't have it. I was vague that was part of a giant baking scam, those being run by an investor on the east coast. So I guess this also approved a massive bank building made of stone and iron vaults and lies at the to address So he's building a giant stone bank and the rest of detroit is lean. Two's, intense.
What are you big? Cities are gonna. Look like a forty year. They really it's called a lead to I'm right next to the bank of america poor. I need to go to the bank. So an eighty seven citizens created a petition that blamed the continuing disaster of the city rebuild on hall and augusta's quoth, the history of william hall and gustus be would word since they took upon themselves. The government of this territory is a history of repeated injuries, abuses and deceptions, all having a direct tendency to harass distress and impoverish, if not absolutely, to expel the present inhabitants and to accomplish private and sinister schemes, here's an onerous and if he was like paris obsessed- and he did have these point like he's
not doing anything to building a big city. The whole he's not he's just like this is like. I got a bank robber girl and other gravy break. In the plans are moving forward to build the city, I doubt it but he's not bringing the people a lot like there's, no one annual paypal beheld eyes now, if I really don't have dreams now, if you build it, really to its field of schemes? Could see the court there been guilty of unfeeling cruelty and barbarity bar preventing those naked and homeless suffer,
it was by then configuration and from accommodating themselves with the buildings during one whole year and many of them during another year. They have by their intrigues and ridiculous maneuvers suck themselves into the deepest contempt yeah. So they're not like they are not bringing the people along in the plan but the plan is to do their own thing. Their building is syria, as they have a bunch of monopoly money. They got their getting he's going to build a big city that he wanted a bill of rights which gave a little like we don't have anything visa code at the play god, What are you waiting for? Have you been de madam to show. We'll go so that taxation is a grafter very spot on one of the first buildings completed was hole.
governors mansion air, we go finally city. It was made in a prime location. He had a man scavenge the best stones and bricks from the chimneys that were left over. Scares me, I'm gonna, take this. love it or replace it. No, no! I'm taking this! What what are you here are those the bones of your grandma? You were trying to afford. What are you doing? Don't take her. I think these would be great to put o doorway AL goodman bones. you have pretty lose skin ever thought about,
Brave case, what we're building as it ever, everybody Jesus Christ, you're here too The town, no luck, Oh. The matter was built right on the river and when it was done augusta than then than bought it and turn it into hotel in boarding house what is going to build the governors even alien and unlike the city on the river right built, the governors mention that guesses. I like that you built it. I'm gonna. buy it. Now you just built it know the city built it, but you are in charge of the city, but now it's mine, I'm not sure. This is a way
we need a hotel, no one could live anywhere. All? The tourists is neighbor and every and a day what in the. you have got ourselves now now he, where I live in a major when we ve got a penthouse, were dying. Where will someone's a big donor but jeez there, everybody its gareth. You know from this this podcast listen. I've got some stand of shows I'm inviting the garments tat Gareth army to join me. For I will be fort collins, colorado august, eighteenth and august nineteenth. I'll be in minneapolis, minnesota august, twenty four through august, twenty six that Acme I will be go.
To the uk and september. Please join me. I will be glad As gauss september thirteenth, london september, fifteenth Dublin september, seventeen september nineteenth manchester Birmingham September twenty of bristol Number twenty second and cardiff september, twenty. Fourth: then, in November albion, australia november tat, It's almost sold out, I think I'll, be in melbourne. Australia, then I will be in north bridge australia, november fifteen november. Sixteen camera november, seventeenth brisbane november eighteen and then I will be in sydney on november. Twenty fourth go to Gareth runnels dot com for tickets- gar me, let's get add, did after it. Let's see it air. So now these he has the bags build them. He's got the hotels, lush boarding house. Now he buys one
thousand two hundred and eighty acres from on the northern outskirts, which he plans to turn into a model village. Model will not a model, villagers ideas and plant tillery secret town. So John gentle was a scottish trader who had been working on. But I'm not one of those tough acerbic, scots johnny gentle skid appeal key. Can be put your head? Oh no! No! No! It's a little weird, is ill creepy at sea, I'm alive, I'm not comfortable with these under they all get people. What as those aren't by pipes.
Those are my down south. This big fuckin knows and then, if you don't mind me saying so, called baby augustus likes a brandy as well Anyway, you say it: working on the river front for years before the fire, but now augustus denied his property claims saying he was not a citizen
a girl. So gentle, if you like to see gentle up said, he come big well gone. Gender was pests and published a bunch of parities portraying augusta's as grotesque, greedy, foul mouth and a letter is man labels that would stick to him for ever and even come up today. It could be where the big knows thing came from right, yeah right, but there are people like, though we did have a big knows, but maybe in the figures it is a little extra right. Yes right, I ate the. I think that, like the worse, he became paper like it's about this big hollow,
this battled over who so another fighting over who controls Detroit augustus has the other judge bates in his pocket, and he would do whatever augustus wanted nice, so he, like augustus, controls the suit, so augustus controls the court And he uses it to crush all legislative progress. He's also, like we say, he's a champion powder. He august the tampa what powder powder he pouts like nobody alter out it pal. I thought you meant like don't. Let me hold the bag powder like that was an eight ball. Bye, bye, I know our face lives at my nostrils. So that's that's. How he responded to any criticism is used our pouting in court. Sometimes he would tell the clerk too much
mass absent and one time a lawyer paraded the court and another judge said to a gustus quote: shall we endure this and a gust of said quote: I consider myself absent. We all do. So a misguided, outlawed slavery in seventeen. Eighty seven, but. but property owned by british citizens was protected, which included slaves to cheer. Now. it's me go observer, the british. The awesome. They can see alone, but you have not understood. Is that most of michigan is Britain And we ve not outlawed moves so
seventeen. Ninety three british law was changed, and now the children of slaves owned by canadians were to be freed when they return, Five points in fucking how the fuck I caviar before I mean just a nightmare that were ok. It's like the obamacare for slavery,. Man! So it's it's is there infused mishmash of rulings and laws now, so that's why they call it michigan, never that guy clap when slavery was made me booed at the caviar in eighteen months.
When a british named tucker has brought a family of six slaves, the denizens, and then he moved to Detroit. Okay, his will said the parents would be freed, but the children would remain slaves. Can you fucking imagine like letting your will dictate further slavery? Ooh can, I imagine Oh sorry, but to be like yes, I know I've gone, but here's who I'll keep as slaves. Pretty we're yeah, but pretty normal to that. I would also like about this. The parents of free in the It's not yet, given such like skipping thing:
giving a holiday that represents the time what a great place so the father, the father, takes her to court and augustus rules. Three of the four kids would remain slaves because they were born before seventeen. Ninety three, when the british law was changed, so the one can get free with the pair. I am now a month later, a canadian merger brings a twenty year old slave to Detroit and she escapes and she goes to smith's tavern, which is the tavern in Detroit and the slave owner comes with, is, is sidekick and the tavern crowd fights him off. Actually tars and feathers, the assistant now you may now now you can share kind of fog detroit, is- and then I was like- was available
hello wherever it around here, they're gonna, look at a strange here's what I do when I go home, that's when I want my eggs, you should do the same. Everyone! the way some of you have others are not used to clean yourself more and that's coming. For me. A managed sticks like ours,. So the owner sues and augustus ruled. Fleeing slaves would not be prosecuted and then the dinner kids heard that and they just took off to canada, so the data together, that, and I mean that is like I mean that is obviously a like a rule where you been ok well, take care now way, but damn that I guess that would be appealing. Wouldn't it so they couldn't be
arrested, because the ruling one of them actually came back years later and was like a property owner in, did very well. Ok,. So basically, augustus is ruling led to decades of like wild slave escapes and conflict in detroit over slavery. Sure and I'm going John Whipple had been a captain and the army, and he was a friend of hull. so hall appointed whipple as an indian interpreter now, as whipple similar to those Now we have no idea will Whipple looks like these are like we just know yeah I just spent an aggregate. I mean what guy named whipple, is not away so after the appointment, whipple sees augustus on the street. You really kind of ruin. This guy and attacks against Israel,
Women are whipple stance against us and he called the gas. This quote a damn rascal land language, so they fight. and Whipple gets arrested and a augustus wants to try him with the two other judges he wants to be part of the. He wants to be one of the judges. Yes right. They they end up like a voice, yet They end up talking him out of it with blondes, have been convicted and fined fifty dollars, but then hall immediately remitted the fine, which is just a way to to august augustus, to fuck off So I guess this is now often being accused of drunken public. Well, I just them like this. Dude life is so valueless, like he's just been an absolute fuck. His whole life he's like he was smart and then he's just been a fucking asshole who like had a big play.
For detroit, but that is a faggot, let's just party and then now he's just partied and now he's like well, I mean, let's just keep partying and everyone's like what about Detroit is I do what oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah. Who, A big maids drew lots stores, jobs. oh man, you gotta, love Detroit, I'm get close to it. What am I like? Fifty now, I'm dying zune so he's a drunk republican. Like I said a lot each night, he would go to mac and comment store. Mac
and comments comments, skews main comments. Spell comments, see you and anti consent command, better, ok command. I think you're so addicted to that word that you're, like that, Tell you say it: does it matter, it's more fun the way I did it sure. Say we got every night and sit and talk and drink a pint whisky, a pint of whiskey. I assume that when it looks like this a picture of it, but That's what it was an amazing that in this country you can like liquor and check, cashing, have just kind of like conflated intellect get drunk and then get your money. Make the decisions you ready to make me ma. It's good, it's fine one
historically gave him a bill for whisky and gustus said it was ridiculous to charge him for a little whiskey and the clerk said quote, but- there's not a little, is a good deal. I kept count, and I find you have drunk three gallons and a half a zebra. It's great you because you doesn't remember drinking all that my Emerging ago there was the EU. Oh there we go the fuck la so he paid the bill. Okay, so, he was also he. He was known to hear court cases at smith's tavern with lots of brandy what he was at the tavern, not uncommon, very common for- and I have tried going to around for my buddy now as was your you, there you'd other
hoddan do of work in good time to good good note to great britain. I always let her answer. Who are that and is that a year eyebrow, you told me: relax relay the ship shit right, deep. yeah you do in a trial, mother, fucker sheets witnesses, hassle. I'm the witness and santa Monica kick your ass fucking with research, whisky, yeah, ditch.
So, anyway, weapon creation help your powers and curly fries to that or soak up. Some of the booths are muslim. The okay are sci shy, guilty of drought judge you, wherever you breathe through through this creed. Through this stop right. There. out breed through this? I put a permit previous you to get a pocket ribbon, privilege granted for the top of my nostrils. The. yeah brown bro. You're a row we got
in a recent? Oh, my god, I gotta stop going to court. If I did you're doing great, I dunno how much of your actions Do it also return occur in next morning? I wanna kill myself so very common. Like I said, Carter, beheld, an average or even like the supreme court. Back then at the very beginning would sometimes but well by the way of cabin. I had his way. Greedy reserves, why squeeze gets me another beer to shotgun gun square brigitte over smeared squeeze, so they would started Mid day and go until two or three in the morning, fucking mean shit. For that perfect yeah I mean that's like football. That's like sunday, football hours, you if you have a court case, you're like, oh god, let it
it took into our yeah, but not I don't want you. I won't get me knew just before the first round of shots doing shot with Good, that's anybody's game. Today, is, was your sir arthur would forget the judges of attorneys eating lunch in passing the bottle back and forth between bench and bar while hearing was in progress it honestly, I just don't know what systems better than up we, as he has a he, has a hateful relationship with another judge who was recently appointed by jefferson of the supreme court in Michigan, james withdrawal
hey. They dislike each other, so much that during tavern court they would sit with their backs to each other Jesus Christ. I mean what like and if augustus got bored, he would tell the clerk to mark them absent and then leaned back in his chair and fall asleep again. Here's the one thing on fighting for they when you're not enjoying work, saying your abbe, absolutely I'm absent like me as ads thoughtlessly I'll have another. One time a lawyer started talking shit about augustus while he was sleeping and whether all poked him answered teasing him in and augustus set up and braided the lawyer, threatening with contempt the wires co uk Excite me you're, not here the record shows your absent you, kids
me you're, not here, is an amazing thing to wake up to rome before Augustus then screamed the clerk. We present at this back, I back screaming at the lawyer the fact about back was still slovenly and, I may say getting a judicial. Second. Wind is just what we do a lot more. They re suddenly veers. When he went to green bay to hold court. He would one shirt and is this luggage? I've done Yeah that or the one shirt luggage I'll be all right is phenomenal. What a great pack just a puke on the robe.
So the governor and judges, when an act, any law that had could attack any law that has been passed in another state wow, sometimes during a trial. they'd here of a law and then a german court too. And say they were the legislature and white assent as a legislature, then as the law and then to today. I go back and declare themselves a court again. I'd actually like to cite a law that was passed here at lunch and kind of turns your case a little bit. This is correct, like. I'm ok. Can we just officially declared the? over romanticize the founding of this country, that every fucking way that we are comfortable. neatly obsessed with a fucking, but we're just
says with a fairytale weird. I we just keep going come on, they planted so perfectly. They were fucking just drunk. They were just one. They were just better Barbara ragged and we're like when they were oh, shrewd and smart back then thomas. Deficits, hair alone should just the gate. Everything there were a genius, a brilliant. Our founding fathers says my the slave. Others they were just take the drugs slaveholders were just they really got it. What are you gonna? U they'd. There. To bear arms is in the constitution from these drug men who had so let you do that now now perfect men.
Nope powder, wig wearing two was dragged state game where with bare facts I got it. now our just inaugurates it does it get it. One time at american anyone on trial for murder and augustus notice, they couldn't get a conviction territorial law, so they became a legislature and act in a law became accord again and then sentenced him to death what the fuck I jumped in with my comedy too early. Did I mean but like today, it's like whatever judge.
you get. I mean you're very like it is a very valuable system where you could just be like if you get the wrong judge. Yes, well what I changed my mind, especially now that judges are yeah the trumpet Israel's mattered everywhere In a people, fucking seeds everywhere to be dumb play it soon in eighteen, o eight people- the east tried to redeem the bank of detroit. Banknote discover the back at just closed. Sorry,. Sorry baited escape room now, Lou some you gotta down a cascading effect due to the boston investor being binding entire scam led to the very first collapse of banks. in the? U S, a tradition will keep going saga
This is now constantly fighting with hall. A trader named whittemore nags, say, is a friend of halls and hold it hold it just give it a majority and run if we got the job he bumps into augusta's at an afternoon tea party and says to come outside with him out. And these very angry that augustus just censored censure the governor during a legislative session and outside he yelled at and threatened augustus, and then he hit him in the chest and augustus fought back and the two men had a good old fashioned. Fistfight and nags was close, quote well bloodied yet see you hit a dude who's got a ruffled like out good out of the chest like gus. There's, like a punch, our character just knows knows the work and knows work enough work enough nasty nasty.
yeah yeah, you don't go like I'll hit and wears feathers are gonna, be in the pillow yeah. It's like pudgy could do way yeah. Afterwards Augusta's we're back into the tea party bandies anyway, but the next day. Augustus had nags arrested for assault and battery and nags appeared in court in front of augustus here now I brought you here: oh who fired those charges? Oh that's not good for you. Is it we're a legislature anyone know mags report to death or a court again. Pope heads within an aim. and he refused to accuse himself and he puts mass repute. The refuse accuse yes, views queues and he put nags honorary three thousand dollar bond to keep the peace Jesus. He then file that twenty three.
dollars, civil law suit and I'll be seeing output, look a lawsuit boy. I think I've got a good point there too. Naturally, people were very upset about this. This baker of a house representatives wanted to charge augustus with misconduct, but right before. Or had happened, the war of eighteen twelve broke out, and it was all forgot. Buddy Hit- is the same playbook different quarterback So the so the war is on and the british and to come so moved to take detroit in the summer I mean I'm listening, yet they moved to take detroit and on august twelfth. Eighty twelve after he's deceive by ready to see, is after
Hollis deceive deceived by the british in and the native american forces they pretended like. There are much larger than actually where they set. I got a letter which, where a lot of people is that checks out good. There is sending a letter between themselves which they wanted to get it right up there. It was right right so oh, I don't know- I mean there's too many of us wanted just be an onslaught yeah, are we going to do. I guess we'll just then a real, quick yeah yes, I wanted to give up their fight, but I guess we just well we'll just dominate dominate our three one. Two three dominate. Oh, my me, so air doing cheers so quickly surrendered determine so rumors were hall was drunk before he surrendered and said quote
indians are numerous beyond example. Buddy just can you be sober for a thing hall, it end up being court martialed for cowardice and a neglect of duty, and he got the death penalty. Can we bring that back cowardice? and their election of dude oh yeah, I forgot we would be like and you You and you Opera with cars, but with their election slept so he got death by predator per president madison, commuted it justice dismissed him from the army because he had done such a good job in the revenue. They do a good job british army officer, Henry proctor, so he's in charge of Detroit now, so he has august augustus to be secretary of the territory. Jesus which place the gas is in a tough spot, because working under the enemy is basically being it's treason. Right
so he writes a letter to washington, saying he's innocent and was just going to try to help the people of detroit okay, proctors of fucking monster, and he lets the american indians just attack settlements that will lots of people are being killed. Augustus would do what he what he could to help people and those into a very happy about it about a guess. This is how it was generally helping a bar. Is that le? Yet Are we at that bar he organized
wanting to pay ransoms for the hostages being taken by tribes? Proctor just completely refuses to follow the rules of war which led to a massacre of american p, o w's at frenchtown frenchtown, which became known as the river raisin massacre, and I guess this was a he arranged for safe transport for the survivors of the massacre. Okay, so Detroit see it penetrates the augustus as being really important and helpful during the war, but after being so fucking horrendous yeah, but he you know it's all what you do in the moment right yeah he. He would plead a kong and make peace to congress, a lot for food and clothing to be sent and eventually reinforcements to take the city, but right before the river raisin massacre. He was about to go to DC, to defend himself, because everyone is saying
is that treasonous and colluding with the enemy yep, but then that kind of went back because he helped people out. So it's there's a lot of people that wanna he's really dead and people who don't it's weird, it's like when you're helping the enemy. So after some time augustus refused to follow any of proctor's orders. He just said no get me a pizza, he he even defended nags at one point against charges of bearing arms in defiance of surrender. Okay, so in spring and eighteen, thirteen procter wanted augustus gone and he was given safe passage to new york, and then he headed to DC to explain the situation that was happening in detroit and papers on the east coast are attacking augustus and saying he's a traitor and practice. Atrocities are getting worse and worse. So he publishes a detailed account of what's going on in Detroit. People read all of the country and they buy it, and there are now they have
Gas is, is back and for the rest of the war at eighteen, twelve, one of the biggest rallying cries was remember the reason. Well so he's in DC for a year and a half a sandwich everson, he comes up with a plan to create a university system in Michigan, oh boy, when the war is over. He comes back to detroit as a judge, again Jesus Christ, but the people it so bad. The people in french town were boiling hey to eat, which they have. It stands. If you get first as stands: calls at a chicken darker, shredded jacket,
In a way it we're gonna, we'd, better hope. Or does this not the judge at these stands be dollar plaza, so wait in french town. What is going on in front town rather just starving, make as doctors not helping anybody right, so practice still a charge yeah right, but but now that the british have left no one's in charge it's just a vacuum of power. They just don't like they just better things are so decimated, in fact, for so long that they are boiling, they dont have crops right. There's enough! does this make USA a insurance for veterans like james when he found out how much usa was helping members save? He said this time to switch, will help. You find the right coverage at the right price usa. What you're made of were made for restrictions apply as a sort of downy? What do you think about. library, so at a costume shop.
Say he gets. It says, writing letters to congress and supplies, but nothing is being done and then president madison sends louis cas as the new. foreigners cas gets there and he immediately kills. Customs is idea for a giant paris. Lighter suit really walked out slowly. He, Elsa Gustus is ideal. Yeah for a good yeah, so the idea of repairs lexi's gone, but there are still remnants of it right. There's the like. You have a grand circus in detroit or something like that. Like a big sur, so there's still things around, but the whole thing didn't get completed, really shocking, yeah cause. I've always thought it's like paris, and so a gas is now just completely focuses now that city planning's out on creating a university which he caught a boy there was no way to figure out how to pronounce it. So I'm just going to try it
He called it the catholic pissed demand pyramid, pardon calthorpe, estimated level this is it the craziest long? What light? What language its american? I don't know. As its canine dollar again, there's no definition for there's this, not in decay, Google, it's ok! You can't. I think you made it I'm gonna up. If you try google and a prism, and I so. comes up with this insanely detailed plan of a school divided into thirteen departments, Now this is obviously a bit of a bananas idea, because people are boy at boiling hate to eat so his tie. He does. He have some of the worst timing in history. Yeah, okay, yeah cause peace. People like that fire, we got nothin eighties. What about big city
People are boiling ays. I ever wanted to go to college got. It sounds like the Democrats, so. So he is relentlessly marked he's called the redeem Does egghead who has no concern about the basic necessities? I'm a third man daily life, but still almost forward? What is going? It's cornerstone is laid on september, twenty. Fourth, eighteen, seventy eighteen, seventeen, take years to finish, you eventually be moved to Ann arbor, ok, interesting reaction. But as time passed, augustus would become more and more ridiculed and when congress allowed michigan to finally have elections for congress, he throws his hat in the ring. He was like I'll do congress and he was
lately easily be right, but then the guy who won Italy hated it and he quit are you a recently released stories and this happens all the time, but people in elections and they fuck this well- is it possible that they were trying to actually change things? like this won't happen and yet have now where they live or take money most People say that everything is willing to slow and right right, gridlock, you're right, so us she'll election is called and augustus runs again and again he lives. How can I get? He challenges the ballot I can't believe it and he lost. in eighteen, twenty two. There was a lot of fraud. We waited for the balance of arizona. Where did these ballads even come from.
In eighteen, twenty, my mother budget, my nose in eighty twenty- do the clerk court resign in the bar unanimously recommended the clerks deputy take over the position, but the next morning Augustus appointed his father to be the new clerk father, I mean how old I feel like this time is just lays eighty, the father. Yes, ok, thank god. I thought, When I got really he's Eighty years old, it also eighteen, what fifteen? Eighteen, twenty two? Ok, so his father's eighty and eighty twenty do so now hundred five, the what well in our years now we're ok years who
My time, ooh Food yeah- I actually got the beginning, I know have we done the trial yeah, we did three trial. How did they go we're supposed to keep Jacobin. Oh dear, I don't remember where they were you're, the clerk of was the court. This core guess I thought I was a judge, no,
No, no! No word you're, not a judge, you're the clinic! Oh, oh, oh dear! Oh, and what is that? What do I do? The quickstep it yeah, ok or the paperwork of yeah the papers. I didn't haven't been putting anything in the paper, but well who has the money? Oh, oh, no. I had a robe issue again the mirror
hold it like a water balloon had stayed shredded chicken for brave man. John lived out east so and tell you arrived a guess, is appointed jonathan carefully to be the temporary clerk. It's ok occasionally had not been asked, I guess it's just said he was and he storm in accordance a goat and less. An important principle, and that unconditionally, I will have nothing to do with it Soon after everyone learned that John died in area pennsylvania on his way to his new, Detroit. And it s. This was severely criticised us,
He could make a very you yeah bobo's their borders, boys Far away is detroit from erie I'll just have? Let me lay down and take a die. Real, quick oh yeah, Oh boy, in eighteen, twenty three that Roy bar association published a denunciation of Augustus, saying his ground management top notch called.
The entire want of practical knowledge, coupled with the habits unbecoming his station, made him unfit for duty. They also called him quote: destitute of honor pro probity and respect for established law, yeah, totally yep yep the barge the bar charged him with intemperance, because he had stumbled into a court hearing and need to be held up by his assistant. I mean Jesus fucking Christ. Well I mean you know. The truth is that it is like obviously, extremely objectionable, but so many of our politicians are shit. Faced now, my dad did that he got in trouble in court yeah. No, he showed up drunk yeah. I wish I'd met the man, but well I mean you know the one time now.
However, madam you don't need to meet someone to yes, you do you, don't you do shoot them over across the stream of so I shot him. I don't know. Why should I don't know why I shot, and I don't know what we're, how did he die? Did they say he was shot? Did your father died from a gunshot? Is the question is how can I that kind of anger, your.
Turn in a murderer eyes. That was what I area and anthony that was scary. You just specifically said that I shot your father. We did not do an autopsy, so we don't know how you killed him. I think it was a gunshot you'd know some are very small sum of the baby very long baby. I just wanted to call baby. I don't know I'm not a gun fella go on now. I had great job that he has now got. No use now go ahead. so yes, he is charged with big drunk in court august. said it weren't only drunk held like can't stand
Yes, you have an assistant hold them up, while he's addressing the court, I mean weekend it burns drop. That's that's!. I guess you said it was because of a powerful combination of medications who is taking ferko. Oh my god, I can't believe they still got away with data. Then it's like what I should have taken and I remain. Where am I allergy. By then he is seen as a symbol of an antiquated system of provincial behaviour, that, by the way No, it's not that no It a place in in the american frontiers, like people have moved on from just being truck arrive until the current system he was removed from a list of appointed judges by man by president monroe then lobby to be given a diplomatic post in latin america, but
congress, tide of eggs. Hackers say one word, no peruke. What. Bye, bye he's provoking peru, throw up any nostrils, somehow like you. Ve got as you know that you're paid onerato break the internet but for some reason congress that nobody is having to junk guy who was detached from reality and what would be great for diplomacy, how old, three: now he is nice, pretty old, ok! Fifty safely, like I'm, ready, ass many ass well,
we know diameters, now he's it is fifty years it is fifty that is forty strategic, late forties, maybe so, but for some reason now that he's leaving Detroit people think issue, we celebrated for fuck's sake. It's I'd, never stops. I never does address I or leave people like my hero. I know it'd be Saturday February. Eighteen, two thousand and four, the bar held a lavish tribute at Ben woodward, hotel. Praise was heaped upon him in speeches quote his extends the legal information, incorruptible integrity, splendid talents, correct and gentlemanly deportment patriotism and great literary attainments. What the fly like we argent, we ve just been a doomed. I mean why people we have just been like. We have just been like doomed from the
king get just deniers of the blatant nightmare reality we create. Can we celebrate this man? I mean, but then you're like giving like gary. At coordinate like oh, my god, the man was too drunk to go to fucking what we're saying goodbye to them. Isn't going that way? Why is goodbye? Why can't you just be like get the fuck outta here, Were you goodbye? Let's have a party funding like iron maiden the nostrils wow god, you sound, like David, Anthony, that's fucked up thing to say to someone. But a letter to the gazette a few days later said The writer was astonished. A few individuals could try to create such a false framing of woodward and that there are only to actual members of the bar present, but still word of All this grey matter. People are each la DC said it
In light of that year now now he was a point to be a territorial judge in town ass he florida. Well, that makes sense, W tallahassee, what's Israel is judge, is a solitary judge. So where's, there's probably three again at three ever been there just like overseeing chicken beefs by the way taco. It stands, but ugh and he landed intel ass, the people loved is weird ways was you're one of ours. It was a frontier town, much like Detroit, then when he first landed there boy and they were planning their city. Here we go
The ideas board will you ever have a gun this had a big part in seeing it had broad streets and public squares. But after a short time, he caught some weird tropical disease and died at fifty two on june twelve eighteen. Twenty seven is called for Florida he never married, never had kids. The bank of detroit notes are the most common of all broken bank notes today to buy there were so many of them that you can find them all over the place. What sources the line right outlines? Apple the history of michigan by james valentine campbell, you ve salon tee.
What's your dumb city called boy in salon, ain't it in any Exceptional anti, by the way, there's no way that's right, either. there's no way led to whoever ever first said it was not like it's a lady. Epsilon adored, all so agitated by one by tom, dad augustus before those middle name was born of work. Report, what how would we bore fork- a citizen of two cities by Jane monroe.
okay, yeah and the early bench and bar of detroit from eighteen, five to the end of eighteen, fifty by robert bud, ross and wicked detroit by mickey Lyons Jesus Christ anyway, that guys, that is, I mean quite a dude if you've just got to get away with so much shit. I mean you still can just like different, but it's there were no ramifications like people starve to death because it sucked well, okay, nevermind, that's a good point! Anyway! Vote Biden. You know it is it's just a different prism on the same situation like back, then you had court in bars,
Would be awesome that still well in many ways? That is what I mean. I wouldn't go nigeria, where you still first, but if there is like a bar, I believe me I'll go joined by the way. There are so many things, and this is not a great statement to have on record, but there are so many things that if there were like booze there. I okay, that, like I've, always thought that, like when I've worked like I, unlike writers' rooms, where it's like they'll, keep you like ten or eleven at night, or something like that, I'm like. If they start, if you could have beer at five, let's fucking, Dance, let's go, I mean you're, probably not going to get the best stuff and you're probably going to be like. Is he okay? You know, but you'll get like a couple of good decent hours out some of those really surly fun times before I start going. I call my dad. I don't care what diamond is really lived lives, so you basically want to work on community guess.
Yes or in the eighties. But it is it's like you you you just like I mean the kind of underlying theme is simply just that they just never have given a fuck about anything other than themselves. There are exceptions to it, but still it is like you know, you're mincing the like you're you're, just mincing words and lies over who is marginally better. At the time and then when people get into power they really just don't give a fuck, but the fact that even then even an always, always maybe you go back to europe before they. Even it's all the same shit. It's wait what you say if you went back to.
Europe before america, it's going to be the same, but they all left because they were like fuck this and then they got here now. You know we could do just call the king, the president, I mean they they're fine with just people, you know being fucked. You know the reason you guys are all mast is so immunocompromised people can come to the show. Because, because member, how you didn't like the time you are locked in your house, will they ve been like that for two and a half years now? So I personally think it's fucking disgusting, what we're doing and just leaving these people were essentially cast an amount of society, but that's like what the leaders have decided just fuck
those ten percent of humans. It's crazy so but has almost choked replicates in the nostrils, There's one person who would Ellie support masking. It's our area would never fit him. And they would have been a dynamic. Thank you guys know hydrocarbon. I appreciated thank you here.
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Transcript generated on 2023-08-01.