This week Dave Anthony picks a paper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds and returning guest comedian Maggie Maye
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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the alright, everybody welcome to the pastimes podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history, picked up by dave, Anthony and Gareth reynolds and I've never seen it before, and neither is our guest this week and he I'm doing good. Thank you for joining us. This is actually our second time starting this episode with a four days in between, because we were in a hotel and was on not doing yeah. The wifi was trash. You want me to go further dave like be more aggressive. Yeah no go ahead. It was dog shit, I'm pissed off
about it and double true. You could suck dave's ass maggie. If people were polly, you you're maggie may, with any ha ha on the social rules. You have it
coming out. I let you go,
Follow you to to see what were that when that's coming out, but it's going to be with eight hundred pound gorilla. They are you with someone stole your title, a time traveler but you're at maggie with I e
with an e ha ha. I may Y yeah, that's what I mean. Don't you don't don't use. I agree is that nobody can say where they either. I think it's Emma maggie me. Maybe ok, listen! You ve had your name longer. I gotta double our minds so
Area and well last time we guessed, I actually don't even know if Dave's during the same paper, I would imagine he is, but let's just guess again, let's see if we could even remember what year, I don't remember, I'm doing a different paper know how to him it. Okay, all right. So, let's just guess: let's guess all guess, I'm gonna guess I'm going to guess. Nineteen eleven may, with and and and a videos nineteen twenty four good too. I like that bit is nineteen forty one. When Jose daddy says no hey, he didn't stop what he was doing. Okay doing he's clawing at the the couch we're in a way. That is it's an unacceptable gesture, but one that he just continued to do. I've been I've been gone a lot, so he doesn't even listen to me.
David, like nobody listened to you before or after it's all the same you're ignored person variously by animals and humans audiences, especially taken in january six. Nineteen forty one
boise, idaho, the idaho statesmen in I lived in boys for your maggie
oh yeah. What about
nobody, not even me, and I did it.
at his sick. He needed to seek out some save time with his fellow why
the
I,
and boy howdy. Did I find them
The guy
hell a castle roles?
Like people really do this there, like that, don't tell anyone white boys
Oh god, I love noisy verdicts with its it's, it's divers, you have
bond haired, whites and around here. Why are they gonna good colors law of theirs angles and yeah right had been there?
yeah. I was that I was considering they're like oh, my god, minorities I was like me. I know what you're and the most white. I was
if the widest
I ok, the boise statesmen repair, the people around me and so on. The first member. This is this is December six. Nineteen, forty one to december seventh right, okay for the harbor right the day before pearl harbor that as the headline everything's pretty good, yeah. Well, here's what they thought was important yeah. This word isn't offensive, but it sounds offensive. Nipper knees. Yes, we shortened that too. That's where we got the the offensive term nip from but nipper knees is essentially just describing people from a place. So I don't think it's pejorative like. I have
I looked in no one says that its back stories to ease of people, a cable discuss, aren't diverted season. I'm not gonna use it. That's fine, but I don't wanna preserve what I have especially my boys, the audience
yeah, I know you don't wanna lip lebanese seek to continue peace, partly
the japanese returned. A soft answer to president roosevelt pointed question question as to the large, the purpose of their large military concentrations in india, china and proposed freddy appointment of a commission to iron out the pacific deadlock.
my god, what I wonder what happens birthday I allowed we need action,
figure this out, all my god get up like
I have just being like black. We shouldn't fight these guys at the bar. Let's go over there and talk to a sucker page jupiter.
And on boys, told the us state department that their troops were in the french colony of indo china by the agreement of its future master and that reinforcements had been required there, because china was a menace to the colony and to japanese interests in indo china. This all appeared to open the way for more negotiation, while it was accompanied by plight expressions of belief by a government spokesman in Japan. The Tokyo in washington would quote continue with sincerity
I defined a common formula for a peaceful solution in the pacific. Oh my god. They must have been laughing their asses off. Reading that just putting out these quotes. Oh yeah yeah there's just like snet yeah, there's,
Snickering going on, I mean it's also. I would love to listen to this column. The following day
keller, jabber eggs. Absolutely now. This shows just how this was the day before pearl harbor, because the biggest story on the front page- japanese,
our friends, three cited duck battle, still rages,
what the douglas the dice the duck situation will be forgotten about. Tomorrow. I guarantee, I don't know.
I wonder I want to see a people are like I get it. They might have been bombed, burn I've been bombed like dogs, a pearl harbor so might have taken care of itself. The three core
duck battle of lake Lowell raged in status quo friday, and so did the ducks melba farmers. Protective association continues campaign for relief from flocks
of migratory foul, which they reported were ruining seed crops.
You know thousands gonna ruin your seed crops.
its bloated ships and fire oil spilling in your oceans.
federal officials maintained as before, that no permits to kill ducks after hours may be granted under regulations after our duck like
caroling after dark and no doctor killed
because it's not easy because there's because they're not fly
in their sitting, so you're not supposed to be able to shoot them sounds like a darkwing duck. Origin story a little bit to the end and the ducks flew back and forth from the refuge to the cultivated lands as usual,
so they can't shoot the ducks the knights of the doktor like now. Ok, we got it and there
coming over and the seeds at night smile and the farmers are mad right, but again we're on the precipice
A basic right now we're focused on the ducks site size or wherever
nice, calm area, where we don't think that we have anything to worry about, but we're just like these ducks are night eating that. Yes, that's the biggest problem that could be, and it's on the page.
Action that will bring the issue into sharper. Focus was indicated by the announcement by jensen that a committee of farmers would bring the problem before the idaho wildlife federation, probably in early february, a resolution to than national federation expressing opinion of sportsmen and farmers will be sought their tiny about nine hundred permits right right. So why are you goes on forever? While I mean there wasn't anything
ain't tomorrow, there won't be as much real estate this guy. You know it all. This guy was probably like that night, probably like I'm doing a follow up, because we were centre stage with the duck story. So now I'm doing a little piece
pearl harbor exploded, I'd fuck, it fuck it. Ok,
The problems with my dogs, there was still going on
I want to see. We want, is a push the duck story on pearl harbor day yeah,
it's like none, but like the docks like what are we gonna do about it
what happened to pearl harbor is what's been happening to my seeds, this every single pay me. This is a duck problem. More than anything I get out are the
working with the japanese and some other, even though I believe so so, archie cause a former president of the ita who was of wildlife foundation, said giving
the fibers permits to scare the ducks away will no more solve the problem. Then the crow problem can be solved by
few blasts of dynamite. I think that guy's now
doing a great thing. You see crows can't be hurt by dynamite. No archie they can. They can okay different idea, and there are several looney tune, cartoons that will let you know they can absolutely be hurt by some guy and one one hundred, but some including ducks yeah and grow. I I want to know what happened with the people trying to bomb the crows. Yeah. Listen! I wear this story's lead, there's a lot of,
This leads in the story and, yes, I let the crow bombers you're like that, didn't do it and argue that in our casual, like yeah yeah, that's not gonna work like then, when we try to bomb those crows,
lowdown! It's like what we tried to grenade the owls or explode we've been through this before gentleman birds, don't die, archie shut the fuck up, alright, so crazy. Well, we'll never know the end of that story. Well, yeah! It's it's a little bit like when remember the story before nine eleven
like Gary kind it he had like that in turn and they arose, I worse. Chandra alleviate arose at what is going on
like nine eleven happen again, I kind of like I'm not saying I'm happy about nine eleven, but job. Ok, I just have to say, though it led to the greatest lyric of all time, a boy, I'm an m lurk yeah. What is it and how can one shot? How can one shot
Basically, it is a tram faggot, exceptional I'd, say without an hour and nine eleven
meals, resentful of army tanks, that's how you get inside the head of a mule is mule. Well, they jealous
you just now the good classic, a guy's near her jealous mule. True, that's a drink right, yes,
the story is a fort Lewis. Washington amazed take officers discovered friday. There was at least one branch of the service that no fear of fire spitting mechanical monsters that had no fear of fires bidding mechanical monster. Sorry
It didn't like shock, absorbers, shit, fire, spinning, mechanical mud, stirs edible
by an easy top well how they get
boise. Idaho, therefore fear they just emerged from the floor in a
We arranged an attack at dawn, a tank group swooped upon
save that clipping for tomorrow, you're going to need it.
a little
Maybe if alive, but at this in a pre arranged attack at dawn, a tank group swooped upon a long column of mules, headed for the hills, with guns of the ninety eight mule pack, artillery strapped to their backs the mules march peacefully onward. So I don't found it. I don't know,
I don't know what's happening. The story is not good. So no spoilery, there's mules headed up a big pack of mules headed up a hill. I guess with a bunch of weapons on them, and this guy's like look at that fuckin mad. They are a card, these things and then cars and that no tanks and then tank as it came upon them, and they they look. Oh my god, a mule tank war. This is like crow v bomb. Okay, this is the horse.
Wait, there's one more paragraph and then you guys can try to figure out what the fuck just happened. When one tank became a little too irritating a mule loaded with three hundred pounds of gun parts started an offensive of it's own. The clanking of metal resounded as mule shoes met tank. Then you'll kick the the mule kim attacking a tank. The mule kick the tank, the mule donkey kicked a tank, that's right. It's got explosive on his back of his donkey, kicking a tank and a reporters like bill. He hate to see jealousy, eat up the pony community
but it's just tell the story. I'd like written off, so hardly written. You don't know what's happening, but about as I write well. You know that. That's so true, because that's what they're trying to do is they're trying to put like some narrative to a story about it like a donkey, kicked a tank.
But it's ok, that's kind of fun like you could help me age of you. If the headline was donkey, kicks. Take you billy is I've been reading it mules jealous of there
Aramis she nearly counterparts and others into a soap opera yeah. Now you don't know, we don't need soap operas, no israel on the front.
This is shown by the front page here, but I don't have a lotta animal these on the front page yet well tomorrow, they want.
As much
dog,
although over hank were pushing it I'll, get a pearl harbor. Well, if you think tommy men, those animal than there's more,
bride to divorce, tommy manville,
wow. I love that that is front page news, I'm here for it here. I love that she doesn't get named that they're, like the woman women did anyone. Women has feeling man tommy gets worse. Tommy Manville said friday that he and his fifth bride. Alright, I mean dude
to go and tommy mean these catholic is like I get the lord I gotta do it legally. We hear this fifth floor. Bride blonde bonita edwards had separate
after seventeen days of mescal wrestler and that seven dna is
yeah and she planned to go to reno saturday she's a wrestler, the forty seven year old as best does hair. So err he is a pastor and as best as fortune wow can be like could be. That could help the crows out a little bit. This is going to be good for another
like thirty years, yeah right at its now becoming a lotta lawsuits. Obviously there try to take us out of every available in the forties
We a seven year old air said that he and the twenty two year old bonnie if Bonnie's in quotes.
a broadway she'll girl up
always show girl, parted company, thursday, after a conference with lawyers about a real name yeah. No, no one.
I don't know what happened, but it must have been a matter of difference in temperament. Manville said I don't know,
what happened we relate to let you know.
Then you have to be for someone to be willing to leave the marriage and go to reno like
it's gotta be mad. Ok, so he was in the guinness book a world records of the day. This is great, follow up upping for his record breaking thirteen marriages to eleven women.
I mean, are two of them, came back yeah, yeah and then went away again and then went away again, it's more of that as best as money, yeah
But I like I mean that's a lot. That's a lot of alimony. Like you know what this mysterious cough has come back, I gotta leave you again.
I thought I lowered is not about you where's, my firm fiberglass choky. Again,
It says it gave out large car settlement, so he wishes to make a few good land age is a semi for lincoln as an amount that magnates, but to maggie's point that money is not black like that's what does things like? You know the white out.
or genera you're, like a like a you know, a typewriter air, you like don't worry babe this money's going nowhere. Oh here we go
Singing brit british lord warns Japan against war, bristol england, from av avery alexander first lord of
The admiralty war, friday, weren't japan, even at
late hour. That aggression in the long run will not pay I had,
that wiser counsels and japan or prevail over those who appeared to be leading her people into a new war of aggression. He said and address the threats as
said in address now at the end, and he said in a dress or in an address yeah. He said oh outstanding and address. Thank that not mix since no now
the threat has not abated and aggression may be imminent. That is lay that's like the when congolese arise was called to the zoo. Like the senators of that majority voted. That document say it just like, I believe it said, tat
loud and determined to attack on the united states, and I will highlight what what are you going to do, that every age is whatever mother
it's, so that so crazy to that's crazy for headline
the day before there they look of aggressive, did gap. Did Japan really was there? I could I ask him what I was listening to your watch him, but we're zone as I fear it. Will they weren't necessarily trying to get pearl harbor like I can't like they were trying to make as big of a statement as they ended up making
dave! You know things idea, and you know that that is one of the one things I've always kind of
steered away from because it so he tried both sides. Try sides I mean the right and left, try to use it sort of fodder for
what well and governments ignore or don't ignore or how bad it was. You know it's not to mention Michael bay, who who gave us a fantastic love story via the tragedy. That's what I always think of when I think of pearl harbor like who was doing it. You know what I mean yep.
Who was then act like bang it who is you're the one who govern who got laid off pearl harbor. That's the question! Yet that's important question: absolute
You still
still. I voice the one thing I don't know much about it because I think it is. I fully support japan.
I am on the side of the edinburgh library. You have a habit of always supported the enemy
the united states thread.
That one, mostly o in summer
sub dollar burs. This is gara gareth from the don't you get it. Listen shout
to the garment gareth army. I've got some. U s dates. Coming up. I will be at good knights com
many club and rally or raleigh. I forget which one you guys are stuck to north carolina december, twenty first through the twenty third,
Five shows
In december, twenty ninth thirtieth albion, rutherford new jersey at bananas, comedy club com.
and on the garment, come out. There's a lotta shows gotta Gareth, reynolds dot com for tickets and informed
Patient also listen to my new podcast called we're here. To help can new pike s we're here to help Jake Johnson. Thank you got army hashtag army
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male stolen eighty nine years ago, yields riches and old stamps whoa. This is in this in philadelphia. Most of that, mostly they just looks like this paper. They just take a pay news stories.
print them. Three sacks of male, apparently hidden eighty nine years ago, by a robber friday held high hopes for oh, was outward ives filing desists filing of their people. Click stamps write his eyes at the latest.
But historians S and and the reason why love affairs and business dealings inexplicably when awry in the following eighteen, fifty two, MR missus James, hugh young commerce, largest discovered the cachet among attic ease while renovating an old house they
we're just in philadelphia among the one hundred pieces of mail was a copy of the new york herald from november. Second, nineteen fifty two election days, so postman's inspectors believe that dates the robbery and all seals had been broken. The letters were not in envelopes, but folded and sealed
as was done then the way, as was done then by regular people. So they would.
They want it and put it back in there and just shut no, I think
I think they're saying the envelope was the envelope was sealed, as was the letter. I think that's what it says. Okay, yeah and ah and investigators were of the opinion that the robber had hidden his loot after taking any cash, but the cancel
stamp, but the cancelled stamps. He casually stuffed away may be worth a small fortune, a collector, pointing out that catalogues list a once in blue stamp current in those years at two thousand dollars holy shit. So this got but this guy buried all
I took all the cash or whatever buried on the mail
it's like. He ended Allen in an attic somewhere beyond so got rid of all the mail cause he's like this is evidence, and then it turns out. If he had just waited like eighty years, he would be extra rich. That's right. He blew it. He didn't wait. Eighty years, he didn't think of money. He didn't think long term with his male strategy stamps
Are I believe, I think stamps are more valuable if they ve been postmarked? Oh, what that's out of cannon ass. I think I might be wrong about that, but I think that I think that's what it is about the postmark like ruins the value of the stamp. That's what I would think I don't. I don't think so. I think that in some cases it makes it more valuable like like give looking a stamp postmarked on the day is issued. I think it's more valuable than does that make sense. Yeah yeah, giving a guest has its own of like yeah evidence of the time. It's all this they gas from russia brand new. Well, don't let me- and I should like regular, follow, decide to sign,
there's no, that yes, filler versus the ties of china's boise visitors. Man who lived in half a dozen countries says Boise his favorite city,
why
man. Why? This? Let me know they ve. Always these white, now sweet mother of god go back.
Forty. Oh my god. Jesus Christ is its knowing now it's just a ghost
The headlines should be not a black guy, says Boise best black.
And on the other hand, says fuck. This is fucking weird. I bet you that article is just going to be loosely alluding to that, like everyone here to brights yeah,
What an unworried people farewell to Boise, saying: dark haired vernon kaufman at portland, when he would turn
car westward Friday morning, boys, he is my
favorite city at all the places. I travelled that I'm sorry, I'm not coming back. Kaufman was born
in germany,
educated in london, lining up
The end lived in half a dozen countries before he became a citizen of the us and he still has hardly a quarter of a century of years in the past. So he's like twenty five he's lived in yeah, six hundred and twenty five or so he's rich. Sir richard
forget that as best as one by one, he is giving away possessions and bidding farewell to his friends.
Is he dying yeah? Well, I think I can't defend it, but I would, I would guess moving is a little harder since it's these maybe he's leaving the country I dunno
Ah, here we go sometimes early january. He will join the army at fort louis washington. What a perfect time to be getting involved in fur. He's pilot look at sea.
Pretty careless, I mean. Do you get three american all time I just signed up and I'm off tomorrow,
bob
stories like oh, never
Give me my ship bag of men
eggs on offers takes all of his shit back in
I want to join the army. He confided button at the beginning.
The war only a native of britain was eligible so either
air raid warden. Now at last I will get to be a real soldier. Yes, you were once tension
stab something: yes, you will he wanted. He avoided. He avoided english. The english army at this time, but now he's like look. America is not going to get involved in this conflict. It'll be feet.
wanted to fight yeah forty one hour,
want to fight in world war. One. Let me shoot something: yeah, god damn it. Let me kill people yeah well, you're, going to get the chance. My man, though you'll get it you'll get it. You know we just can we can just he he died right. I mean there's no way this friend he does. Let's just write them off yeah. The last thing he gave away was his life. What are we going to say maggie? This paper is weird: they keep putting people's hair colors. What is that about interesting, interesting you've picked up on that. I guess we've moved away from addressing the the the papers we find. A lot of times are very physically descriptive.
With a man- it's, I guess, like beautiful jar line with a woman at sight, but their best day breakfast gets really lingered go away. I left so, but I don't know what this is. All we hear colors, pacific dave- I don't know, I don't think we ve seen that, specifically before
yeah only right, but I think that again and had lazy. I it's that Boise, like careful,
Above all else knows less: why did you catch my drift?
adblock. Also love it
What had went away so maybe there can such an hour's time here. George Bush,
Third: first driving award winner police hunted for two hours friday before they found a driver officers believe worthy of a two theatre ticket reward for his safety and courtesy.
This is where I learned this is new
Is this great, then major nerd news of cop can really draw
have safe. Now this is what happens in worlds where it's all right. Just there was like a surplus just like we're gonna get kith. They give
all wars for how good driving it really all that always hearken. So far back to lake, like the respect for police officers like
seventy years. Would you like a thankfully an officer? Was there to help, whereas now people, I know Gollop, do not call, they will not give you a movie.
Pickets, there's no, not an apple.
Finally, however,
A car driven by joy, george buzzard, palmer, commander road whitney beach caught. My eye of police buzzard was signalling for all turns kept well with
the twenty miles. Speed limit during the mile officers followed him. Then.
It just showed a guy shoot this guy. If you're going to just randomly start shoot this man look at it, but it's beautiful, turd sick, always really gosh this globe, my god he full stop and there was no other cars around them. You gotta appreciate that watch
yield my work? This guy is emerging and away the ways they rarely where they following him from the gatt gower.
If he was dining I'd, be like this, like assignable bad he's, probably stuffing drugs up his ass, while he's a cop drama tale, I'd better, be it's like anytime, you've, driven tipsy. This is how I drive imagine getting pulled over like with one pop over the limit, and you just did really a bane every law back there: okay, okay! Ah, what was this trap? It's like when I I used to have a friend who would get really high and he was
When you want a car, so he would drive like twelve miles an hour and you'd be like Dominic speed up. I know
you're, not not david. I remember thinking that you where I believe nobody goes the exact speedily, nine
and I get you if you're ever getting trailed by a copy, be just go like every bang. Every law it'd be like that's a tell you're stoned like a man after they know everything.
Congratulations, MR bosses, step up to the sergeant desk at please help!
prison receive your two passes to the reality theatre.
I own. Each day, through the remainder of the month, a good driver will be named in this space watch, fear name
Q, I mean you also like it used to just be like this. The idea that a cop would pull you over to reward- you is alike, feels like something that would happen and alien like that is so far removed from what, when you think about cops like this idea of any benefit like any
and even that random act, you just I would know I would just start shooting they'll, be like sir. We want to lab the phrasing one. Every day, they're pulling someone over to get theater tickets waiting
How are you again to make? Everything has boss is and we got this theatre tickets. We gave to the chief and go get it from your boss, maybe I'll be on that. Even more of my biggest till you become
yeah you can pick it up. Yeah it'll be a great way to arrest dudes. It would be just be like. Where are you getting your tickets by the way
we actually have a war it'd like oh fuck. I knew it the other day that, like warrant roundups, like you, wanna, get scared and then you show up, and there, like, you, actually have to pay all of your child support.
at a jet ski at all, the opposite? That's the opposite of legitimate jet ski! Never going to get them jet ski. If I'm going to have to pay child support, you sons of bitches I've never been.
go away for the judge ski now that as paper
a lot of money on my preservers jet skis petrol.
elephants in garage lemme have not complaints come on
come here
stop by our headliner
elephants at a garage. This is a story out of new york. I've got garage yeah, that's the real! That's the real headline people in new york used to have garages the health inspector to magistrate.
peter m horn. This man is keeping two elephants in his garage god awful out when
Yeah hi, yet whether I judge irregular size elephants, I would think
bright eyes. They couldn't about big its backing.
And now I tell you it's no matter what for the elephants its cramped?
no they're, not loving the habitat.
when the magistrate was sure he had heard correctly. He told the frank roper he'd have to take us elephants else,
rob ash a rubber show. Honour said he.
would try to find lady and honey. I'm sorry said he would try to ship, lady and honey to florida for the winter of Jesus.
Christ even back very dry. The destination besetting try
yeah even say: would you know I'll, give it a shot
I'm gonna get her out of florida, those poor elephant you just now. It was- I mean south awful awful, yet a whore great again, you look at it yeah, just the worst
I can't even go ahead. Dave time, travel, the just curb! Stop this guy. You know theater too
gets for this man, but there is a girl in this city whose lives are so sweet that they stick together every morning by the honey they d still and she cannot open her mouth. Zella just parted her lips with a silver knife had light this better be a play. No, this has to be a blow.
This has a real impact on something you cannot possibly be like. Let me tell you about: owes sticky lips
colonel universe, yeah yeah, it's gotta, be lawyer, go ahead and listen words going.
She will be a treasure to a husband and not only an account.
we're sweetness, but she can occasionally keep your mouth shut.
What does Japan hate about as it is that we were?
That was like a related. What the paper about wild
We moved to morrow said this is,
may. This is when you could argue with
wife in the morning then go to your job and just right, massage fish shit in a paper, my
I fought shudder. Certain mouse, you gotta remaining one page two to three. I think this could work might be
Thank you. We can you read it one more time. I really really is absurd area villages to load.
a brief paragraph of the bottom weird little like a better way, ladies of history, to go fuck yourself anyway,
There is a girl in this city whose lips are so sweet that they stick together every morning by the honey data still an she cannot open her mouth intel. She has parted her lips with a silver night
She'll be a treasure to her husband, not only on account of her sweetness, but she can occasionally keep her mouth shut.
paper, and that's it. There's no story there. It's just a guy getting her name. I mean what rubbish disposed as anyone seen a woman with a honey lips stuck together and she is the prime. Apart with a knife.
There is one word in the city: you can keep your mouth shut,
yeah, you know the bees make honey for the queen
I've done for my wife, so I could put in the mouth and not have to hear so much imagination, one guy who stay by the water cooler for three hours.
Can repeat this story to every ninety how'd. You know
the lady they die
about the one woman, a boy you shut the fuck up every day
has any based
yeah,
using a weird like this year, but you gotta caught her mouth
yeah
So about the area
you hear about the honey lady in boys. You could stab in the face.
that way. You know what I found is a glue mama,
or he'll kick out of a horse living gonna garage up a tanker she needs.
Yeah. I got a new attack. She hates tanks. Wax leg
masks of film stars to go to soldiers in alaska. Having I swear to god, just is simply trying to get mendel whack off.
in, like the guys, are already kind of being a riled up when a man you imagine abroad, who shuts up there's a war, wax legs of state
Excuse me a moment. Ah those legs can't even talk
a guy, it's better than already lips. They nodded
woman at the perfect lady, the way.
legs in the hall.
A boy soldiers line up the legs are here,
that
listen. I've in Japan had the bombers
I was saving us remind ourselves for a mere moment.
some lucky soldiers are going to get gift, filled, wax legs and masks of movie stars.
Honest, because a morale officer way up in alaska had a bright idea, a jedi
so the legs are filled with
and their actual their actual wax. It's like it's like a porn. It's like up the when they did when they really the port,
juveniles. You're right, you can buy yet you can like by the actual. I know this is a real. This sort of real woman's fake vagina like it as you gave a native indulges
well private agency,
here's your lower half of marilyn Monroe
way to security and suffer it right that Jesus,
I can I want to get up early to get the candy in there and somehow crazier than what we were. Even thinking which is totally insane lieutenant mw
who foresman morale officer at fort marine round alaska job, but feel that he made the unique request to catherine stubborn who produces wax manichaeans and masks for film studios asks. The officer explained that since there are no recreation facilities, it makes me do strange thing.
Well? What what I? If you, if you send me
parts of women than our real, I won't have to kill the real ones, o key
that's tough, to hear I read well what what
yeah there. There are no recreation facilities. It makes me do strange things such as requesting a mask of a good looking girl, like
stranger than get anywhere guinyard us yet
I so listen bobby you
where the marilyn monroe mass tonight and I'll bang the leg, and if I can find somebody to do it, I just put the mask:
go to where there is a mere bang that doors so half a the army's ready for cod.
bath yeah. I mean that is the fact that the paper was like this makes me do real, weird stuff, because there's no recreation facilities. Okay, I'm sorry! What
Was everybody get mom or wasn't just via the community legs? Ok, I like that
let's go further and that their eyes alex lousy, hemp. There's six thousand men out there, not given up six theirs.
Dude, there's that twelve thou be a drop down. These did well, they could just get. They could just get three one leg, each so scurvy, six thousand one leg in a hurry up,
I don't the I have planned it.
Miss party that I'm not about its headache. I m not attending out just that right now,.
To animal zest, I'm writing to several notables asking that each contribute something and knees will be given to the outstanding soldiers in camp against the bessel like theatre tickets, but where
Words, worse memory: where were as reward wait till you see legs
Wait till you see, given the army. Ok, miss starboard is sending to masks of Hetty Lamar and Marleen,
the trick she also made up a life size, wax leg, dressed it up with a mesh stocking garter and slipper, and a bit of lace at the fire and filled it would trick, puzzles, handy woollen, socks playing cards and shaving set.
and then let a lamp shade. On top of it,
Sorry, she said to works leg. I said one with finland s leg with fish nets and prizes in
sure, candy, woollen, socks, playing cards, etc. You know the you know the type of things you
finding a woman's leg. When I have to say- and I could be wrong- but I think
it's the craziest thing I've heard on this show. I think this story might be the craziest one. I've heard you are giving people in the best of the best are getting a leg with a kind of like horned up. Look to it like a lego guy, that's at going up and inside of what could only be described as an open area. There are puzzles and games and prizes yeah. I remember it's a hot leg: it's dressed up in garter and yeah and mesh stocking. It's a it's. A leg you want to fuck, if it's attached to the kiosk,
a person are more concerned about the masks cause, I'm a magazine leg highly concerning the eighties, like, yes, humane manner to track eyes popped out, no idea, you know gretta garbo or whoever you yeah tone
well yeah, but just imagine so you're a soldier in the barracks and in hops a really large, weird marlene dietrich. I just imagine like they. They say that like yeah you're, like if you're in the fucking army and you're in the barracks, you are just getting very comfortable with like jacking off in front of I I I will not be easy for me to be in that situation at all, but that seems like a charmed life compared to the fact that I'm probably going to watch one of my buddies just like with a fish netted guarded leg hanging out of the bed, while he's just for sure bang
Yeah watching your friend fuck a leg just watching my buddy leg, shag with a mask on top with with qualities like while these bag in the luggage is holding the man I'd be like man, we gotta get points,
and here I design and then
It gets deep into the leg. Heals all puzzles that some cards,
everybody like later I've drug that bag, this leg, all lemon jack all and then we'll go play jack's egg.
I mean what we're? Ok, ok, japan, let's go said things
range, the swarm of like all my leg, yeah you gotta stay flaring regrets to georgia's ling. What a bag of my
ok, here's a headline otto had or whatever is following that went up later. If
giving out theatre tickets for winners in this paper, we ve just gifted them. The navy gets buckingham shaped like this.
Not the navy's get outta here
is this carved glory holes that do a lot of their jets wire, yeah, and then I get summer dress set of boobs above them. Alright, you guys will increase your funding. That is,
I get. The navy is getting married, monroe's right, never know. Now I mean
that is like serial killer shit at its guy. I have like every dahmer would be like put the brakes. That's all creepy!
yeah,
Saddle horns may disappear. Ok that handy
little handhold on the dude saddle ranch. The saddle horn may vanish for the duration of the emergency, the time of the war in europe, oh, but the only things right, they've been fighting over there for three years or denver. Oh p, m officials said nickel, bronze and brass used in manufacture of horns on saddles employed exclusively in the dude ranch. Business is needed for tanks, guns and ships, and shuttle makers, ships, ship site saddle makers are being pressed to design a hornless saddle for duty
writers, though this is hard, does he have to make sacrifices for diversity? Technology moves pretty quick! I was a thing I accidentally bang. My balls into is gone now. Likewise, working marks.
There. It's like one horn that you wrap like, I think the the like your whip around here rope around its like right in front. It is right it genitals
right yeah. It's it's right. Where you bang your you bang your stuff, which is yep well, the working cowboy can scarcely do without a saddle horn without a horn, the cow hand would have to tie his steer to a fence or sagebrush at branding time. I love them and we all know a brand branded time gets pretty wild yeah man shot at
now fully recovered. So new article skip all they are yeah. I mean it really is like Dave, your club, the closer was to go, but that, like others, that do not support
but man shouted recovers. Our cultural, apparent pennsylvania, lloyd, land is who made medical history by living with a boy in his heart and who further amazed physicians when the bullet disappeared has been discharged from goods
ass though he do it or there was no ballot to hey huge story: hey good news, Jeff the bullet in your heart. It's gone ah here
use did he, you know you're, not dead, yeah. Ok,
Now, making guy anyway thanks for coming,
she he got shot hit with what a bullet he got shot by a bullet in his insurance, not like a beanbag and he was banned. Dramatic. It's true. I mean I think, that the doctors fucked up and with the x ray, and they said he had a bullet his heart and he didn't and then they were just like yet so it turns out. There's no bullet, it's a disappeared or they have budgeted further into his heart and they didn't want to say anything. I liked that too yeah I, like that magic bullet where they started talking about it. Yeah just push the heat yeah that surgeon yeah just see if it'll put push it harder, maybe you'll poop it out
doktor its black. That's your idea for everything. Push through these people will start pooping. Some of this stuff out, eventually at its heart, is that the lady who, as dyson I've, never met at his home, suddenly lloyd, said he hoped to soon returned to his work with the construction company.
oh yeah, you ll be right back at work with a half the night and forty one you're gonna be fine work of something which has happened, that that is so ingrained know. Mary. Then it's like the worst like would eat. Just take the goddamn break. We were always right. We gotta
Yeah the grind of this kind of work we gotta worry I'll, be ma. I got a bullet in my heart I'll, be there monday, but like milk at
the nice? This dude is like I'm going to join the army just so I could have something to do what the fuck go. Are you serious go? Lay down, that's what it was like before the internet, though yeah, but even then I still think I would like. I would never. I would not be like I
go fight, I'd be like yeah. It's I started whittling and with that I built barrels. I'm making leather stuff- or I would just be like in like I would just be like in a pasture with like eight hundred dogs- I'd just be like listen, I found mine.
calling I would never be like toledo cause. What's time, everyone found their bang like some people may wax legs with ice and share in it. Some people say we dont, say dissected shit in it, then it's a whole new ellen,
this gave up well, but I found it. The easiest thing for me to pack in their ok
we ve done
example of how not to win driver's license win. Ok, when is the wrong word
haven't been doing a gratulation. You want won a drive
It was a better feeling, though, if at the end, instead of being like your past, they were like you've just won yourself. A dramatizing robert pryor nineteen wanted a driver's license, so J H, pankey an inspector for the state motor vehicle department, climbed into the front seat with him for a test again you're using too many words just say that the driver inspector got in the car guy took a driving test so far about to take a driver, driving yeah right pet key ordered a ride.
turn as soon as they started prior turned with a wide sweep to avoid a pedestrian. He seemed about to climb a curb and ram cleaning shop, but straightened out
on the wrong side of the street and headed toward an approaching car. Here I might not win my license today.
you lost your license every year, but what a great way to start a driver's test. I turn right. Okay and then you're in the rock going the wrong way: you're, not going traffic that great first he sounded the
then tramped on the accelerator.
Next he wheeled sharply to the right and crashed into the real, the rear of a police squad, car and a private automobile.
The most exciting ride? I've ever had pet peggy said they had ridden
only a hundred and fifty feet. So did he
He passed the story does not know they didn't when he did not win.
How how he was fine here
I a bunch of stuff.
They said right. After did I do I get it yeah you have to right. I mean it just. It sounds like it does sound like a slapstick comedy scene. It really does yeah, but it sounds like he dodged more than he hit sort of line by the way cop car
You want a licence personally yeah, they were just like. We would every it or tickets.
every driver
this test should end with you ramming the back of a police car right. You parallel part pretty well, did have to tackle couple because you whales were turned the right way, just in case the park and breaks
now go hit. Those pops is therefore about accelerator. Rigid.
If that is like a trap that shit out of that thing, really tramp and now boy trap of goods that baby survives wreck of other train crash,
baltimore and automobile carrying three men and a baby stall on a river across the third instalment. Three men in a baby train crash so busy,
The short film is twenty minutes,
stalled on a pennsylvania, rehbock crossing Saturday night, a harrisburg washington passenger train bore down upon it.
She's, the men hopped out, pushed frantically the train struck and hurled the car fifty feet demolishing it out of the wreckage climbed, Michael burke, two and a half years old unhurt. He started back up the train tracks crying
Quote I want to go home
yeah.
Well, that's it!
Didn't you set up the three men there? Now they were pushing the car thereof.
the cards they left
in the car and try to push it out of the way instead of just taking the baby. Also, they left the baby in the a mom would have grabbed the baby, the dad
I like the fucking car ban yeah, we could save everything. No, you can't. I can't no shit
yeah yeah I
pan buys air base bear MIKE the fat furry black cub bear, which
changed hands more times than a dornob has a new owner that bag with wild ferment.
a lot of wmd color and harry this.
Oh, it's a bear. Okay, you experienced taboo relief. Only to be ok, wait now what yeah big fat harry black
there
Boy that mother fucker,
there is a bare I've got every wait now white. Why? God? Corporal John pods
of Gowan field, said saturday. He had sold the bear to Tom, lighter former game warden of nafta.
The bear was caught in the mountains and given to the city park zoo through arrangements of the game department, parts with persuasion acquired the six month old bear from its six one
Oh bear someone took a baby bear this horrible harm always acquired the six month old bear from Julia Davis park superintendent.
or tat when bears no, I don't think anybody he supposed to be selling barriers, but it was a really big thing that up
back then nicely shit. What I feel comfortable saying, not ok,.
the noble like support, want to buy a bare legged
are you
I first sale. I have a black son of a bitch bastard mother, fucking.
Bear stake out here:
There was a time it seems like in
we're almost any bar you walked into. There was a bear down chained in the corner. I mean it bears,
we're all over the place. One of my favorite instagrams is, I can't remember what it's called like look at this russian and I'll. Tell ya they're still going strong with bear called. They are yes, the amount of times where you'll just be like this is great
in any event and their hugging a bare who seems fine with it inside there
until he bade until it does it verdure, but did its.
so like that countries that goes on track, suits and bears
That goes on.
So you look at your roommate and you go hey man. Did you get barefoot today? Yeah? Yes, the answer better. Be yes,.
for a time. The bear made the chemical warfare service a center of attraction at the air pe airbase. First, a made a hit with the soldiers was trained to stand on his hind legs and drink milk out of a bottle. I hate it. I just I mean that's just classic.
Bear in nature, just like just like in the forest yeah. Have you ever been in the forest at your camping or whatever, in a bear just walks by it's hind leg, pound pounding milk from a bottle. I've never seen a bear crack open, a bottle of milk nope. No, it's been awhile.
but part just had to let it go. Don't have time for a bare nobody out here, like that. I like that he's like well,
Finally, just came to my senses realized I dont have a schedule that would accommodate raising a pair. I really
after the barrow be really easy, but it turns out it's like have wherever you go, not great at all the bears now where's, the milk bottles
and he's he's, not letting a girl they're, just selling it to someone else. Oh awesome, yeah, it's not being released. I thought I was going to rape. Nope yeah really
Well, that's it I'm playing with it. I want my chair
fuck shitty bear I like is broken like what's the deal with despair, of course not. What is it not doing for you?
It's not drink and, first of all, it will not work the unicycle it will it won't it's a child bear. It needs time to learn how to dream of year and right. Outta cycles snub whereby forbearance
raised in a loving household, around eight or nine years old you'll start to see. It naturally come around a unit cycles and guzzling. Although hams you want to give it the.
Nobody out here seems to have time to bad, but he's just got to go was his explanation. So, what,
after being here, it's crazy
So, after being flooded with phone calls, letters and personal requests, the soldier finally struck a deal with lighter.
Lighter has ranch with lots of space and will give the bare lots of exercise which has happened.
In writing. I was like oh array
through space and now I'm hearing exercise. What are you doing to the browser like birds, affairs? This is better. This is better. I would have liked to keep him, but just couldn't be.
anyway, I've got a lot of swell correspondence out of the deal
ok,
You got a good news. A pen pals gets a good car tax out of his old or deal that's good.
And I am therefore now run it declared yeah. Whatever I got, some good business deals.
stamps that are gonna, be a lots of good standards of good steve.
I would wait. Eighty years these stamps are going to be tight, riced. Well, I I gotta say I'm impressed that even after the army, like story, there was still
after interested, because that felt that was nuts maggie. As always. Thank you for joining us. People follow you.
Maggie. I e m a why
hahaha, yeah and social, keep an eye open for your special, which I've seen some of the material from the summer program. But you are hilarious, truly such a pleasure and great meeting. So I encourage them to follow you
Thank you. So much beg you leave me alone.
Transcript generated on 2023-11-30.