This week Dave Anthony picks a paper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds and comedian Lisa Curry
New episodes of The Past Times will be right here every Thursday.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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Ride everybody, everybody welcome to the pastimes podcast. Each week we go through old newspaper from a random date. Mystery picked up by dave, Anthony and Gareth reynolds and I've never seen before, and neither is our guest this this week,
hello, lisa, hi, Gary thanks for playing
thanks for having me are, you know we're just
Go through an old newspaper just like when you're going through like porters garage near likewise us in those days, and we just
He just yesterday- and I who knows of goodwill, wants this stuff, I'm guessing no, but I couldn't bring myself to throw it away. I just
java stack of newspapers from
you haven't eleven.
Thousand alike, because that was your high school and I thought some day. These are gonna, be worth money that, I think, is a valuable orders, and I just I was just going to say that is literally the order.
Montana sunday this'll be worth my like. That's what is always
in the meantime, the horrid some like when they're just like me, miss you dont need
hungry hungry. Some data be why many that basically there under here that lead, we can't even I have about the baby's I'd, say it's really not. If anyone wants a nine eleven newspaper or magazine, there's a whole lot of that we will have with their vows. Apparently I would love to go to that goodwill and find
because there's no way they, but if you were just like honey
They had a budget
You don't like it's a day of again. By being one of two things happen they immediately to root out or someone there was I.
If these are going to be worth a lot of money, yeah there was a. It was a relative of yours that you know most throwing those out before we get into
please, sir. We should remind people to listen to your show weekly show on syrians an exam
The sheep Bonnie channel is already so who's she so funny solely on. Haven't I don't elaborated,
in my shoes, called long story wrong and you're on instagram right at the end
I am at olympian. Lisa currie release followed me there. Everyone she's in olympian okay,
you're, a big nine eleven July truth that the nine eleven examples all of us.
plates. The snow works, you name it at least has gotten already giuliani. Sifting through the rubble. I have all of all the action hungary allow it. So it's great.
Factors, glance over diagram of Abu Ghraib do some well that that's good. That is actually what it now be great to see at the goodwill.
Well yeah.
Why do you want
Ok. Well, listen!
very comfortable, the abbe I'll tell you what, if,
since from nine eleven two thousand one you're probably not- can enjoy this february heard, but dave. I don't know if you pick that one out but dave. What are we dealing with here? I liked to sometimes guess what you write it gives europe could guess and you can t even from the six times as is today. It's weird to me that you said the sixteen hundred, so I'm gonna guess from the sixteen hundreds of men to treat that is some bread, crumbs, airy and I'm gonna say sixteen
seventy one were made to scan all I'm guessing nineteen. Eighty nine!
wow you're in it. By the way, I should mention its price of right rules whose
more than a hundred years, and if they dont go over there. Well, elisa wines, consents nineteen o four
very good turn other
This is the news tribune from Tacoma washington and as its december tenth. This is the christmas addition absolute they really, okay, so
paper? They really took a holiday. I know what they're doing them front page, just a bunch of cartoons, there's a big santa that says only fifteen more days, it's really December ten, not normal
You think there were more. Do you think they were just doing a santa theme for the month or you really think this is. I think this is there
put a bunch of christmas are dealt with in this one. I don't get it
page wants is dishonest, amber tenth christmas paper. Patrons boring
our between russia and japan, blah blah blah. Nobody cares says I didn't know that, but of course they went to war yeah
page too. We got a little story here. Mr white needs rest
saint louis ye Norton white chief of the department of admission that the world's fair announced today that he had declined the offer of the same position at the lewis and clark expos exposition in portland Oregon next year,
Mr White gave his reason that he needs rest from his labors he's tired. I I do feel like they fucked him a little on that headline. They they could be like they can be like you know, he declined,
he declined to do it again. Oh god are you and that is, as a guy
Michael winslow at your place is as good as Michael winslow.
Look at our city had a look at it still looking to look at that, I contact is gonna she's tones shut up. You show
it's possible that it's possible that he sends to crystallise the neighbourhood. I don't
she's really sick. Did you have your nine eleven papers, stacked like the twin you now and then, when you have a good? Well you just knocked down. It was like then, robin williams, movie, twenty four hour photo where it was just one wall of my house was dedicated to clippings.
Just you know I was there was a normal, don't because everything we now know that I was worried. It was going to sound strange, ok, so mr white needs
tragedies at anyone that does definitely sound like a children's book. It feels like they could have been a little more like its he's worth,
left at all on the field. I would just say it's not newsworthy that guy didn't take a job, but what do I know cause he's tire now I mean especially if you're take.
Two weeks off yeah yeah,
wait was he like the only person in the country with some sort of special knowledge? No, ninety two.
How can he was the only tired guy? He was the fact that other people like why that is unreliable, tired. What's that also,
We have more worlds fair news, this
headline this headline is met expensive desk Jesus Christ. I mean talk about like that too
bangers out of the gate. The editor was like. What are we leaving? I haven't got the desk. I entirely support the flip, a coin. What are these
it's in the saint Louis worlds. Fair was a roller top desk on which a cabinet maker had labored daily.
For four years and three months, o hats
this guy doesn't know? Das disguise not doing, there's no way made money. If dissolve did good here,
This is both. Never I care whether any as actually ikea accused us take for years in three months
but what, if you guys
in inlaid with his friends or prior, like I don't think I don't think, there's a dead.
I gotta go to work on the new right in our ideas,
it is inlaid with thousands of dollars worth of pearl button blanks, which were all shaped and polished by hand.
all sizes of blanks were used and they covered the desk boast both inside of it. So it's but dazzled,
it is as but dazzle the whole time thing here. The inside
dazzling just for you,
What was he working on leading up to this like? Is this something where he's like now that I have the client, the four and a half years are thus and you'll like it, but dazzle that's the guy or the guy ordered it is like. Are you closed cities like we are now,
I've
tired. I won't work and checking this ship. The shipping lincoln there like it's, not even in transit, it's not even out for delivering lights, bitten that where dazzlingly inside give me money.
that's just for you. The dazzling
the inside, as you just don't, want to finish the prague near it.
Sixty inches long thirty's,
deep. Fifty four
She is high and has fifty three
very high! That's very toffler!
That's what I'm? How are you trying to beg you like that, their deep? How deep is the desk?
so? Is this also the world's first standing das,
puts its right. My launderer you guys I've read drawers what
If you didn't get it, there were fifty roar roars
it is noteworthy, tiny drawback to bed. They had to be time to be tied, yours, it had to be like when you go
the library and do they like doing? Does they had to be like d like whoever got the desk?
yet. No! I was gonna, do files and stuff and he's like. Well, I'm afraid we don't
a big one. We had to get all fifty three and, as it was not easy at what point, is it not a desk cause? That sounds like some kind of weird no storage credenza. This is now a mental health.
This is something you make when you're in on asylum and there like no keep going. If Europe a dazzling the inside of a fifty,
three hour, yeah yeah! That's why Tex alliance!
I have a driver, pencils and erasers and
and then our planet, I'm gonna, live in one of the wood.
in the construction of the desk and chair which accompanies it is black. One
and with the pearl decorations offers a striking contrast. It
more than two years to find a shell that would make the keyhole peace them.
You're via the desk at tijuana guess now,
What is it like? Ninety nine, where money, nineteen o five year, so thirty doll, I'm kidding three million by today's standards.
involving? I guess they valued the desk at nineteen. Oh say forty, three thousand
Oh, I was going to say, like five thousand, because I dont know I
five thousand, then I
It feels like if you take housing prices that would be,
fifteen million dollars now fair, ok, fifty thousand dollars, which is the key
today of one million, fifty thousand the fire. What
What the current and ask that you can only put paper clips in that it is only as like storage in pencil, I really like
you said a desk was at the world's fair. I like the world's fair, was too, but you let I would want to see this desk yeah. I would too
It should be a maybe a museum of stupidity
like this is what the
welcome to the hall of wasted time and your pair.
friends who are like so are you going to get a job like what I'm not even done with the thirtieth drawer, father yeah? What do you mean
that is the height of privilege of equally I'm four and a half years, fuckin wittily you're, making a million dollar yeah.
He's the hall washing every pearl and sticking at on himself
like its leg and we we noticed before we get a yet a break. We get it serve. You talk
marjorie. I don't need to talk to her.
I don't wanna, buy moved on to the obscene,
someone else. Now it's dead.
we are debating. Does he's fine love every single drawer? That's the guy about all those! Don't look like gentlemen. I'd be careful. I'd be careful with the drawers because I've been inside everyone that
there was a pearl drawers, bread,
I there's more. There's more news about them
fury this, thereby fury of fighting unparalleled during wars, japanese and russians, fight with ferocity of fiends
scene of hand to hand conflict strewn with dead bodies that awesome. Well, that's! That's! When you use the fight worries you know, like p,
we're like next to each other or a war instead of like our now. I can't
they were. Those bob's are coming from. I will go into, but it's a lot of those people is that the first mention of that
conflict on the pale limited budget on the web page, and I don't want to go into
Ok, I just want to make sure your hand to hand combat adjust picture like kind of karate. That's
let us act we all just
Johnny each other and they in theirs la height,
Well, it's it's the end of like every eighties movie. Whirling one guy doesn't have a gun in the other, guys like tat, and he throws his gun disease. I out
joy, and then they do a dance in the midst of it. It's like park or yachts, silhouette yeah right exactly.
Or capoeira that's what I was thinking of work park. Well, I in it. Listen if you want to talk about brazilian dance fighting I mean I obviously a day will tell you that I've spent a lot of time working on my capital, app and
Hey you, where a lot of times when you break it out in an alley fighting such as will start to laugh until they have no choice but to respect in says right. So the next page of the lot.
Adds that look like the worst part of doing that when you're like trying to defend yourself as I could survive put out some music like take your money, I got so I put out so that the next stories beat the shit out of their experience as long as we're going stories, but in the middle
is John mimi, was arrested at a moment on a charge of seduction, preferred against him sheriff
ground and childlike county was expected into comas afternoon to take the prisoner back seduction. He was
seduction man to global challenges here, and it was a thing from starting in eighteen, forty, six of eighteen, forty, two nineteen, thirty
by the united states, embarked on to one of my ambitious expansive and intrusive judicial experience in all of history. The attempt to regulate seduction,
meaning and they are regularly to his own wife. You seduced a woman and
the sad I can't father could sue you
And you're gonna me back there in a compliment. I it's gonna know and have you we're on our way is a signal you broker, like she's, not she's, no longer
Oh she's, she's
harder to seek out her off with the prior, because the
of our partner- and I understand why this guy was busy stand up desk, for I do not want to go to jail for electronic lay. That is true.
that I I'm not saying that because I'm sure I'm sure it was a very I'm sure I mean even today, knowing how dudes are I'm sure there was a lot of like unwanted advances and stuff, but that would be a very tough time for me to just be like I
It is good to meet you, I'm going home
It also reaffirm way ahead of a lady just wants to fuck without her dad get involved in like the law yeah. Well, if you just want to have sex now, I'm not
and on anymore
do. You know why this must have been in the time before the teachers that say that you know that some toxic men, where that say, leg
come near my daughter and I'm I'm gonna reload or whatever before these men had ample warning. They could these four guys
I thank god for those t shirts. Now this has got to be a rat. While someone was like you know what we need like. The judge was like wait to make t shirts t shirts. Nothing will add to the comfort and beauty of your home, like oh well,
quipped bathroom, which can be installed by the William coffee plumbing company.
Or from one hundred company is coffee. Now that shares its name. Coffee, like webs com,.
from one hundred to one thousand dollars according to the quality of the fixtures, so people are getting a. This is when the people are getting shit or is he like, as they say in the indoor yeah plumbing
I'm excited god I mean that's sets an exciting piece of news. Bathroom, a nice bathroom can change your life. It really care, but
also, I must have been really awkward as well like well honey. I'm gonna go to the upstairs.
Making I'm not going outside anymore to do business.
created a division socially
because ass you get about you, you're not going to dinner at your friends house within our house anymore. That's around
the eu as well as you? Probably you probably had those like me.
Choose your like bob. I just thought I'd say
look you're, not shitting, here hours
I just wanna go by their load. I read about where we had it.
Talk about it. Last night, you're always dropping by the shit o the nerve
mind if I use the manner before I go for good, I just like this
stop by an hour after lunch. What's the big deal
after my morning, coffee I'm going to pop over yeah, speaking of which, speaking of coffee, is it that the company that put in Europe.
by the way, you know how sometimes
in a older house there is, it downstairs,
toilet, like a smaller, without a shower like a just a toilet situation that was book.
uh sure when they put bathrooms in they didn't want workers.
delivery man to go upstairs to use their bathroom, so they basically had that shit or for basically that what you have just described.
Why? Why did they get rid of that? They like that, I, like that. I like that I'd like that move. Our thanks for the package, wanted
rim, relieve you about
weird I like, I do wonder, delivery
people in their driving all day. Where are they now? There's a leisurely, sir? But I'll tell you the winner lying now, someone
did you. Children's birthday parties dress up like superheroes in europe
You are not allowed to use their bathrooms and you are gone like what birthday party to birthday party yeah. What is it
what kind of awkward for spider really my shit in their poor
EL. The shitting became tough, the shooting
The transgenic matriculating you'd have to go to a gas station, but the paying was pure bottle hoddan.
yeah model, mp, bottles, nonstop, Julia, p, bottles
polo yeah well over the side of the road that I value the model,
but she did not like you're gonna undress in the living room and then go into the bathroom. I dont know I think it I mean a year
a fine line with convincing the children that you are these characters. So, like a transformer, goes in there and is gone for like fifteen minutes taking off the gear to piss.
Yeah but isn't music? Is it good for the kids spiderman wettest is outfit.
Don't worry about that. I just shoot shot a little crotch web right now, where's dim at this. You know, even as we as europe is
explaining this more. It sounds like it was him person at that wasn't alone and people's homenas correct, there's just one says: there's a lot of holes like that's, not recording it. Let us stop recording and take it. Let's have a parallel off like where this is headed, but then,
with the amazon drivers. I mean they are yeah. They are devastating in bags and pissing in bottles. It's a very good credit that says grandma office yeah,
wait for the whistle all news care boys have been provided with whistles, which they are expected to blow each afternoon when delivering the paper, thereby
I warning subscribers that their papers arrived. Subscribers will confer a failure on the new.
if they will notify the business office of failure on the carriers part to blow the whistle
Fucking, you imagine your mail me, I'm just fuckin with how annoying scoreboard is out there, whistling it every door. I emphatically show to shut the fuck up, making an please your goddamn with, but he's like. I can. I commented shit here. I know of your papers there you look outside and see. If the papers there will always be
How could you tell that the whistle
was for you. You know I keep hearing whistling, but there's nothing on whistle. It's not like it's just like our own. It doesn't go directly to your home. That's it just like I'm hearing a lot. It there's ape
her boys there- all fucking whistling and there's no goddamn paper out here and yet so
This sounds like we had some one is complaining. Why didn't get a whistle yeah right?
Another wife beater was arrested yesterday officer,
foster alternately officer, foster, arrested, we're having whistle fund and then Dave just look. That's the way. The paper says that from now on dissolve page for baby officer foster.
arrested george arrests, kit of
three one or one ascertain street when he was in the act of beating his wife, the charge against him
on the blogger is drunk and disorderly? Ok, no wait! Wait what that's not the charge!
I mean I'm eyes were throwing the book at him
If you hear somebody got arrested for hitting a woman, are we sure that he didn't violate? Something else? Did he forget to blow the whistle on yeah the blow as well, where you hit your wife that you're that lucky
Yet you got a holder tighter if you're gonna shaker like her like that come on Brigham and so that the budget
I'm guessing there was it. I mean
there there was no domestic violence charges, tell lasers p
I think leases vat has or not? I thought it probably wasn't even illegal. I would imagine like you and she
she screamed so much than a lot of people think the papers are only. What did you do? It goes wrong
just drugs are having their because she had been seduced by sepp blatter in his eye. You well,
shit in the worker bathroom again gathered, and then what
I was just going to say I don't remember. I smoke part go ahead
Ok, woman obtained a divorce because her husband squandered his earnings on efforts to invent a flying machine. Instead,
what this is. The demon
the violent I want dolly's ever the next are
I have not learned was ok.
instead of providing
the necessities of life the inventor can
devote all is energy making his money flocking. Wait, I'm sorry, one more time
that story again, I have smoking. Woman has obtained a divorce because her husband squandered his earnings every night, inventive flying machine instead of providing the necessities of life
He was just like the rapporteur. At the end, the reporter
the reporter at the end, is just like. Finally, he could fully focus on the flying machine while squandering he can devote his energy to making his money fly. So he's telling him he's calling him an idiot he's tell him to fly away and well. It definitely feels like a shark tank situation in today's terms, yeah a shark tank situation where someone's like yeah, where someone is just like this will change everything. If people use this belt
it'll be fine. People like that, it's really like it's a luxury is good. You have looked at the end of the newspaper and figure out it was. She was married to one of the Wright brothers
dammit orville says he'll keep working. Will we ever christmas thing one of the most difficult tasks about this christmas?
the is to remember not to give the same person the same present this year.
That is you don't want that. Keeps me up. It really really is. I really didn't know. I've heard the closest experience to that is. When I get gifts I don't want, and then I save them to re gift them later and then I'm like wait. Fuck outta this year
yeah, ok, but then it's also kind of nice, if you set give them that give cause it's your way of being like it wasn't a very good gift, but
I love this paper is just a guy. I dont, like yeah newspapers, is a guy worried about something and putting it in the paper acting emmett.
What have I mean? What if I give Frank this same kane the?
which is basically what the gift was. This is a you know. This is early blogging. People are just like I'm fucking stress about this. I can't take it yeah. There's that
really as such a like first world issue of like the biggest
This is so tat giving people the same. The key to this is not to give people gifts, which is basically what I do. That
Wait you by the way, most grandparents just give the same gift over and over again, and they know they have no clue. Yell buddy care like yours. Now nobody gives us a card with like, like
average of five dollars whatever. That is the only gift you should be giving anyone over like nine years old is cash. That's right! That's! I agree comments right, yeah then heroin,
no more centre candles, no more lotion put an anti
Well, I do a lot. I do a lot of lotion. I give a lot alone. I didn't adversaries of people find it to be.
I know it's wave of my own people,
It's like. I would love to see you a little boys. Don't don't
I get dry, it's not that crazy to say europe. Is that crazy to say on a recorded episode, I, like you, I, like you moist when you're dry, I'm not oppressed. Okay, let's keep going.
cut it out, if you like to keep it, if you do still on page six
headline the irish muse
be anyone on the face of the earth who does not love an irishman. It is morally certain that he either does not know one when he sees him or he himself is
most unlovable character? I'm sorry what what's the angle? What what? What
the stance anti! I resign rules. If you don't like me, I love you, don't love the irish, your momentarily fucked up! I do think
if this is a big issue- and I think that I'm glad that they said I'm I'm said finally wrote this well, but wait. Would you read the first line again because I definitely believe this person's irish? If
b. Anyone on the face of it that, like the irish, that they be crazy, already tell you one hundred percent. It was an irish princess
showed oversea limerick.
The irishman has falls in plenty. Why
may readily admit, look
perfect by stretch, but there's with there is something lovable even in his faults, for they all dwell on the surface and are readily perceived
Can they do? Is they
I'm going back around and he's it's it's becoming a bit like a neg yeah I'd start
with all aren't irish great now here's the list of what's wrong with them. They do not. They do
well on the surf, and yet will they they don't hide their emotions right. It's a start up front.
I was like. Are they upset that they're not multi? I was. I was deeply thinking person sorted deal like they come out.
With the world
How do I didn't and all these years I only recently found out that more people as a that's, a real thing. I thought that was just something we were all saying. Joe go. Tell israel
and what does that mean? I am at
from a little later. You don't know about the document about the more people, I'm saying what
you're, a documentary guy go lover, get daddy's, go, look up the more people, the more people.
I'm sorry it is really near
we know it's. Obviously it's tough too
keep got maybe pickup tomorrow night. While I have a little time to kind a process which is it's a it's a it's a it's a great example of how awesome america is yeah. There's people
I ground, don't worry about guy, I feel like it should be based on poverty. So it's a modern day situation of people living underground. Just from the description mole people you're like immediately thriving
yeah, that's a hurry, rising nipple, thereby choice eating round.
sit on. It had just like regular miles distant. They they were back to the irish people.
I think the baby s who I've now picture it just like club,
no they're not get somewhere.
Thursday,
if a catch me trade wages?
they do not lie hidden in some dark recesses of being to spring forth in the night to wreak devastation in depth up in a that it can.
such a specific now
do not bear our job out from this shadow that they do not lie hidden in some.
Recess of being to spring forth in the night to redevelop
you didn't death, so they're, not they're they're, not
shadow murderer the irish
a guy you're, not reality. I raised there not stabbing you in the dark of night. I think there's
and I think gathered there is lots of. There was a lot of
laboring over words in which ones to use here. There was at the source right next to the art, as they wrote check, but I think they're saying like they don't have some hidden darkness. That's gonna, fucking lash out at you and some weird moment
also they never met anyone in my favor. She actually not dream about this guy,
famously dont have deemed that writing this article is wrong, but there's a budget stuff they're. Not.
May I end up and improve we're just mentioned are not, though, thereby
I guess your question is: why are we writing this about other ethnic? Well, we will
about other national, ok, but actual do the spanish, but this week
going to talk about what the irish aren't there not drunk and ill tempered
and they're not living in the shadows, they don't come out from the ground at night. Like them all people, yes, they're real,
The virtues of the irishman are always in evidence to if an eye,
men, be your friend what a loyal friends he is.
His money is yours. If you need it.
and what is more, I don't know it's the right message:
been admin infinitely more. He will fight you and tell you
the last drop of blood wait here
fight for young warrior accounts and where I knew a drain, you of blind dog pool by our people
What happened? The vampa view heard about the vampire irish, the vampire irish.
Will fight for you until the last drop of blood has oozed out of him.
some truthful.
yours, has told all the secrets that you have been covering up for a generation. Ok is getting very specific.
Now what is it? I asked me this guy? Did it down anyone I earlier? This is like a straight to a body of his who, like
stood unworthy when someone was like talented secrets,
This is nineteen o four version of us up to the
The rich men who worked hard patrick, has
perfectly genius for friendship and in
Our friendship said the k in so many quarters now is attacking the other guy. Who is tat you shit about him. This is also transparent at this point
is refreshing to find someone who will not allow its glorious banner to lie trailing in the mud threats that we resolved it. The guy that someone from a friend of his touch
his irish body set up forum, and this is a love letter.
I like, I like nobody said who will call Patrick as
there's, two other irish names and every other name. I've had buried there. That was just ok. I was what he said. I thought it was. Then I thought it was getting very specific. Like his friends like Jesus Christ, they know it's called patrick or should I say, one brings more drive home
under this building
The irish men were good for them in their friendship house assets
I'll. Take it how sweet of your friend to blow
some one for you here yet
that is a very violent compliment.
You know, the irish, the murder, your enemy but nine miles, and we want to look man on the moon way that no no they're not violate. They don't jump out from the shadows, they'll kill! You
Kill your enemies, for you noted pedestrian dead.
Rollin age could noted
It's well known pedestrian died today as a result of burns received by the explosion of a kerosene lamp. He was sixty one years of age. Do you know what a pedestrian is, at least
There is as things that are in my way when driving so at this time in history, people would go in stadiums step to watch. People walk in a circle.
Listen I'm out over centuries.
for centuries. Think about our famous, so it was more walkers, but people are watching. You would walk. Kindness really would walk fast, but it was fast. There was an event while more walk
box. Then they would walk everyone. Men handwalks farewell. What's the big deal, I'm proud of you could sell tickets ways.
I can't believe, like stadiums slated atm superior, like all my god he's like I mean what I
I just want to walk as fast as tad how fucking
or was everyone. It was very,
it was a boring or bad is the internet is at least we have something to do. I mean
It says a lot that we like run like a lot of times and like there's, nothing to look at her watch, but it's like look. You didn't give through
rob com you can we I mean you know like fast. You can watch some. Why little for four and a half year watch and I
men suck the blood out of an animal there's so much city wetware, who, whatever
this guy, an irishman, defeated my foe. Also friday night wanna go to our walk. This is
did it costs money to attend? Oh yeah, you paid, you would go well, maybe its young people, but there would also, but there would also
like always parades of like, like some people below
I'm gonna walk, did a dried and people be like the guy who's
detroit is coming through town. Today we have a big o, my god, and they stand on the street. Maybe like look at him he's hall.
Was there one hundred yeah
parades and realising giving their thomas guide or
I am going. It was just that
How does he has gig and Michael
to detroit kansas city. Well, there's all just sucks! I walked beyond it. Where are we?
bow god dammit
Were now on when I go that way now
page eight,
morning sprint. This is out of philadelphia,
its duties, frequently compelling him to undergo testament. Durance chief matthew griffin of
local us secret service bureau has for years been an apostle of physical culture. Okay, every morning,
about five o clock, he may be seen sprinting around the boundaries of ontario park at thirty than Tom
streets, rain or shine when he is in the city. He emerges from his home daily at five m. Clad. Only and trousers
a shirt and wearing a pair of light slippers going so is clothed. What slippers
going to the square the wrong footwear, a short distance from his home,
he sprints around the asphalt pavement bounding, the greed plot viet. Let's be honest: if you
saw this guy, be like sir, you know he's so certain
he should be fifty fifty there writing about aims. As he's exercising yeah
it was in the further. No, but no one
it does so their amazed at
guy exercising everyone is shocked because he's sprinting, that's exactly! Why is it so? It's a scam,
wait hold on like how slippers or ballet slippers, because ballet slippers at least would stay. I don't think it's a much bigger story. If it's ballet slippers, I think it's a whole different league. I also like that they're bragging that he had a shirt and pants with slippers the other parts I do, but so the the guys sprinting and everyone's like this guy's. How does he do it?
yeah. I also think, together
the point. I love that this is a point in history where you
after clarified know they are clothed in outdoors, like I worry we're that he nodded a drink. I fall not aware. Straker is that right,
away from the law is spreading around the part by Joyce there's galvanise
Usually he makes twelve round trip so goodspeed,
if a means of keeping himself and visit as a means of keeping himself info
the condition he began, the practice about food.
for years ago and ontario park has been, is exercising ground ever since he says that running has proved the most beneficial form of experts it
it's a this. Is it's an article about a guy cause? He exercises that's what just happened. He's could be killing us
I nineteen o four, was it jacqueline.
In issues, but the other thing is we:
and I dont dave. You know these years better, but we ve done episodes on this. It was like for a while paper like running, will, kill you.
And then they were eventually like men can run and then their women it'll kill us.
and then women started running and they were like women. You are on a
now
the order of like hell, yeah yeah. Why that women can run the same thing happened with pants. Yet women can work with women wearing pants paper like kill her
only ass coming away, that's coming back for sure! Yes, I understand
understanding, poker
The women believe that every man knows all about poker, but only a few men do nature. Do
It is true, however, that nearly every man pretends to understand the game thoroughly when there is a
joke at a theatre all the men smile and look at their women folk was so
barbara, I could see
Dub little lad doesn't understand what three of them. I love that it's news that men in a group of other men will pretend to do something they do. That is so fucking truly experience how many people are out there saying they've seen movies that come up at times and pretend to know things they don't yeah, but also like
like this guy, is kind of like the undercover reporter I went under cover and laughed at poker jokes. I didn't understand.
When there is a poker juggler theatre, all the men smile and look at their women folk with a sort of pity, but the fellows who smile
oh very little about the game and are afraid to plant, for it almost every little
social affair connected with chips and pears there as a team.
nor gambler industriously engaging in working chumps,
What I wouldn't give for this to be. Our news now like these are the scandals of the day. Yeah, no serious really would be so great, if, like I mean, but you would think about how it would be covered, it would be like cnn it'd be like the desk is one year away from being
so we will get. It then be like. I think that he should not be making the desk.
stared, while making the death. Well, let's bring on this
Earl, polisher well,
the chic part you'd, be like. Oh my god really I mean that's almost what cnn is at this point? It is yeah yeah close by the way I don't watch cnn, but my mother's in town, and we have gotten to the point where I am like. You can watch it as long as you understand she's I've gotten into the movie and she kept talking about don lemon's beard or what and I'm going I'm going out and I'm just going to mom I go. I don't care
don lemon because you ve got to seize his he's. It's the tiniest beard not gone. I don't fucking, it is the craziest just three
it long hairs like on the under part of his chin, its absolute and its long,
Really raise at now I get to see the check. I got I'm and I don't want anybody would ever make being want to look at dawn. Lemon
No, that's and that's what my attitude was. I was like mom. I don't ever come on enough of this, but then I walked into her hotel room when I was like what is going on.
she's, washing just tracking his beard like it's punxsutawney tawny, phil, yeah yeah. It's not. I can't believe it's not coming up willingly, look forward to emmett. Alright,
yeah. Well, let's do the pied headline was gonna, be destroyed.
santa claus. Man
here we go this, is it did it
This far back a number of very good, and you are right, a number of very good and well meaning women decided some years ago that the story of santa claus was a wicked fiction and should never be told the little children.
where every year they begin a crusade against that old gentleman with the long white, whiskers and slay?
this year there begun earlier than usual hoping to head I'm off before his arrival is to generally expected, among is small, admires weight. So, however, I think that they think.
It's bad real to tell their kids a lie. The eyes
I think they're out there going he stood there
you're telling her one santa claus is not real, so kids won't believe in santa claus, because why give his joy? It's also well.
I I kind of I know some extent. I do think it is one of the weirdest one hundred percent. It's very weird to think we are like yeah like cause. I remember when I busted my mom like there was like five minutes of silence where I was like what is what's your deal? What did you? What are you doing?
see. My luck is why my mom,
owned
santa outfit because we're polish is to her side of post.
so polish people do christmas
On christmas eve, you do a big thing, you do your big dinner and then at midnight, santa coms and hands out gifts.
you see santa yeah, he comes to them.
So usually have a family friend dress up and
one year we run a pinch and my dad dressed up as santa, and I was like others does my dad
We got it was I oh, let's others is all meda,
the accuracy, and what are you want? Like you? Just can't good could he's an iron worker is not getting into a character, reside
where you got this hair, like just so fuck entirely. I may not hurry, I mean. What's your name, I mean I just wanna up,
everyone can use. I can't stop, isn't rigoberta. That is completely insane.
It was like he missed. The spot on lemon, what is crazy, he needs to he needs help. I hope that was a bet he lost because otherwise it'll be something that should be the news. What's up under my chin. Okay,
ceremony interrupted. Bishop chandler of georgia recently told one of his
but the national law makers from that state and x
Various he had when he first began to preach and tie nuptual knots,
One day I was called on and engaged to marry a couple in one of the out of town districts. I found the house
really constructed a log affair. With
one room and aloft above, which was
by a ladder and a trap door
big table was in the center of the room and it was loaded with good things to eat everything having been cooked on an open, fireplace which took upon
nearly all of one side of the room, while its a bit fireplace. It's also are really that this is the attic.
As we know, is talking about the main room right now are we as territories,
but the that's not. It had laughed to separate rules, but it's like
It kind of I mean if you're, if you're putting this on air bnb, it's it's a separate room. I was just gonna, say yeah. It is two rooms you get up there like the outcome.
I think it depends on mothers, haunted cause if it haunted it's an azure right and if it's not that
So there's goes when attic
hello and if there's, if, if there's, I think, there's a a young group of brothers and sisters having sex flowers in the attic yeah Gareth has no idea what we're talking about earlier yeah I do. I just don't want to laugh along the line feel like I want to feel like there's a divide in the ship, but I do understand the joke dave and it was very good
but I just don't feel like playing longer right now. Well, we and let's not even explain what it means the sober grownups about this, the
The bridegroom lined up- and I was proceeding with the ceremony and while in the most impressive part of it, the older
Put her head out of the trap door in the loft and called it called Sally turn them chickens.
For what
Why was it the grandmother there? Maybe why she programmes from a different family and that's her she's a
all persian, maybe she's been dead for fifty years and exert mob social.
getting married
in the room. Why is the mother not at the ceremony but she's? Yes, she's, like I'd chicken g?
taking care of business she's still on the ball. She said you gotta, you gotta turn the chicken and
he's like I'm getting marriages like there's no excuse do not turn chickens with the farc. Now even you're, not the bride did the command was obeyed by the daughter. She leaving the skews me Randal I'll, be right back. Pardon me bishop! I must go turn the chickens. Nobody likes dry
Is she leaving the trembling bridegroom while she jagged them with a fork? I could not help laughing at the ludicrousness of
a affair.
I've never witnessed.
The ceremony sense without remembering this experience so yet
It could not think of a more ludicrous affair said the man whose profession is to talk to I observed de. She didn't turn a chicken anyway, let's put let's put ring
on each other's fingers, and you can never end this because a man in the clouds curative areas dave, I'm sorry I didn't mean to. I still understand that flowers joking made before
I just don't. I really enjoyed as disturbing my best friend from high school when we
anti. He asked me that was her favorite movie flowers in the attic and also that's not okay. There can't be
favorite movie. I actually, I actually read the book when I was a kid like. It was
popular book at the time, and I didn't know it wasn't just pick them so reading it basically gareth.
MA mom. As for kids
she her her parents are terrible, but her husband dies
she has to move in with the parents and the parents make her put the kids in the attic and they're just like that's where they live. They never come out and they fuck you they fuck each other, because what else are you gonna do.
and then one hour ago, before the internet at that's, what's
What is it what's? Where does the story?
it's some kind of treatment?
I know it's a love story. I know someone's gonna twisted. I got it wrong desk. It's I'm close enough. Yeah
Listen! The fact that I am not complaining it with flowers for algernon is at that's all. I would actually. I would actually love a flower
four algernon the attic. If we could play those do stories, it's actually he's coming back. Where is he he's in the attic banging his brother?
Wait I dont know this experiment is already asked headline
after the bullet from his nose, pardon me
It's going around
workable escape and open. I oh boy after being shot in the head by twenty two calibre bullet
discharged from a gun held by a companion, Peter Faber.
Cosgrove, a responsible, gonorrhea, frank, frank, cosgrove,
ten years old dubuque has only
a slight flesh wound to mark the injury
I dont know where
for in your head. You away nostra with a slight ass flesh wound, but I'm gonna say those doctors are really under playing would happen,
Nobody would favour and a man cosgrove took a trip to the mississippi river to hunt. They had been gone
only a few hours when the accident happened, young face
Was handling the gun when it was accidentally discharged so accidently he shot him, so he was yeah. Ok,
He can't it's called chain. Retrievers gives him since he changes and the bullet struck cosgrove
under the left eye in
the nasal cavities and the
Is your joy then felt something in his nose he's not right
blew out the less. What enough fuck I mean come on he blew.
again, not a flesh wound. Knowing
through his head,
I mean the outer part, but it went went into his eye from as I was.
knows, and then he snorted it out. You X, you ve, gotta, love hunting to be like. Let's not go to the diet.
we just hold on hold on. I think I could not rocket yeah by the way that probably felt great blood came in spurts and it dropped into the bowl.
Well, I actually let me retract what I just said: keep going. Dave's spoke little soon on that one cosgrove called to his companions to row the boat to shore immediately the older said.
hold your head out of the boat or you'll fill it with blood
there was a dog is coming because if you can even fill a kyar with blood, yours bad, you should know the both those of blood you're dead like that's.
Why, like I do like this guy's attitude of like what we don't, we shouldn't all sink because of you he made
effort to move the boat and costco have snatched the rifle and levelled at him and in a determined voice, shouted if you don't get to work and get this boat to shore I'll kill you. The trip to land was made quickly.
Cosgrove was hurried to his home, where a surgeon was summoned. An examination developed the marvelous fact that no bones were broken because the bullet grazed the bone and travelled with it,
The most serious loss to the injured boy is his absence from work for half a day,
What is it ok on that?
What a great country with eyes were bad days. Is that
In particular, I face from the first thing I say: isn't going to be like fuck, you know I didn't get this package to be more like what the fuck happened,
This situation talked about it yet
we got of work. If someone was there saying hold your head out your fill the boat with blood, you milk, that situ
and for longer it also speaks
The like how much weaker the guns were,
to be a shot in the eye, and that's not.
I cut it out and for a surgeon to be like you can go to work tomorrow. Yeah! Oh, my god,
that was what people are allowed to open carry in this country. I'd, probably a little less like you know, I'd be like you can
run the bone. I just jog real whole front of your face is gone.
yeah. Now oh yeah yeah. Now the cops on even come to help me
He took the shooting. Well, he perceived
he had been shot, but he paid little attention to it. I'm fine,
are you ok, how's your gun is the boat. Ok
The only indication of the boards presents. Wasn't it.
in the nose which caused him to rub any family discharge it. Ok, there is so he's
The other indication is the fact that it went in part of his face:
So he has all over now was I'd from that, but then he was picking. Then he was like
many really way out. That's what what's? The boy came
an obligation to pick so much that's. Why you're bleeding.
Yet waters until the time I dont know medical timelines,
It is still win like there was no plastic surgery so to cover something like that. You just have to wear like a phantom fan
the opera mask face yeah. That was any site you can only yeah. That was
if what is different about you today, randy
no fears
you gotta have phantom face
body of ex mare, thomas fumes, who died,
in fairbanks, alaska november ninth was shipped from their for seattle, thursday night
there remains are being taken out over the ice by a dog team, but the route taken is not known
and for that reason, the date of the arrival of the body in seattle. Seattle cannot be fixed, approximately they're, taking its being fucking dog rocketed, taking give
so they must be dragging him behind urgency on the sleigh. Now it's gotta be honestly. I don't,
I don't know he's driver to be sitting there motionless. I don't know
he can most these pops
I mean, what's the hurry with a dead body anyway, it's gonna be be dead. There ask and its curly your text further gonna be nice and frozen so yeah. Oh here's one! The sawhorse
qualities. Men like best.
unlike cheerfulness and a woman, but they hate forced gaiety pro.
lay. There is no other woman in the world that makes men so tired, ass, the perpetual, giggle or an gusher.
The woman like a woman whose conversation giggly guys after the war
Discuss the woman whose conversations is a series of exclamations who chatter
like a magpie and who laughs at everything that is said whether it is funny or not
Why don't you have demonstrated this by the way? It's amazing ferment,
not like a fake giggle or when they're all be asking through poker. Quips
You know you know what happened here right. This guy went out with a body on his girlfriend and he is just like asia because she does
absolutely was. I gusher.
These women labour under the hallucination. That the way to be vivacious is never to be still now and this kind
where society is carried on after hours after office hours, men seek the companionship of women for
rest and relaxation they want quiet.
David they're, like shut up I'm over here talking to my friend about fake poker things laughing about fake poker, and when I get home I'm going to poker and that's all she's you shut up until I'm ready to fuck you, you will be quiet till the bedroom
They want to be soothe and sympathized with and not to be irritated by the antics of a perpetual motion machine combined.
with the noise of the phonograph had never runs tat. Cheeks. Is this guy? It's like I don't know. I can't get a girlfriend she's talking she's.
Never Jews
unbelievable, ongoing and confidence
right right, yeah it's. What are you going?
This week Bruce. I just observed sick of women talking and laughing at being. Just enough already, that's pretty good, that's reliable yeah! I feel like this is
come out after the outlaw pants for women in a couple of years.
If this is going to be a few years beyond that, we're just we're just regressing in every way. So now it's very true that someday the court will be taking up like well, I mean look. She can giggle we're not single woman.
Really. Can we put its the charge, is excessive. Giggling- and I think we all know what that means too much- it's just a lot. I prefer quiet women.
whose stairs happened then take off their clothes, I'm dating a corpse from alaska,
the perfect map. Previously
staring into the middle distance just sitting there not giggling do much, but sexual sexuality. Why was was able to have sex? It's great perfect.
The cold hall, but it works this headline through them all people never called hall.
it's just a headline, and then a one sentence story holiday
is for japanese children.
Two of the most important challenges in japan are dedicated to the children. That's the whole story.
Is it the penis
So really I mean it's nice to see. There's some international news besides forget that the japanese kids get to holidays went their with the article
The holidays. Are the article ended? Do you wanna tell us
what they do on the holidays? British,
I told you everything about what are they may they get do the names of holidays, there's two of em and therefore kids.
and it's from Japan. Yes, next question.
headline. Bear scars, bears scar
of war man who claims to have banned with custer, arrested on homicide charge.
and who claims to be the sole white survivor of customers command at the famous battle.
and only white one, the famous battle of little,
a big aren't is under arrest, charged with homicide.
If there's a night, he got into an argument with frank mitchell, a salesman over the proper method for cooking a kidney stew. Oh my god,
They are most. How do you not to kill a guy? A third like
not listening. Your kidneys do talk.
this sounds like the same iris guy we sowed early. This might be. What are you talking about? You know how to make a focus, still Julia.
Make a stew out your kidneys, a core
or followed, and the men attacked each other with kitchen knives, the fractures leaving nice.
because having occurred in mitchell's flat,
gee who lived on the western frontier, declares mitchell attacked him first and by
practicing an old trick. He felt his opponent, not, however, until he had received a severe scalp world. Here's. My question ahead and I think I know the answer, but I'd love to take the temperature of the group. Do you think he finished cooking the stew and eight this before getting into any reporting of the murder that I think you do?
I hope so right I feel like he probably did I mean if you're going to kill a guy over how to make a stew yeah, that's probably going to be, I feel, like you're, probably going to finish the job, because it's also going to be probably your last do so you might as well enjoy it for awhile. Anyway, I mean it's yeah. I could see it like for five minutes. After being like that,
put in a little paprika. You idiot vowed to sis ii.
It gets very elaborate tasters. This is unbelievable! Oh man, I can't believe I just killed a feller over this
mitchell, do not appear badly off at the time, but he died. Twenty four hours later deftly aid. It ok, maybe payment,
Magee was arrested in the meantime in a newspaper office where he had gone to set the paper right about that
Ok, so white, sorry Magee, the guy. I definitely gate the stew. I think you deaf. We ate
I must say that they thought that this was in. He wasn't.
yeah yeah at four
sunlight.
These medical people between now and the bullet through the head being a flesh wound up who they were
What do you mean just like? I want you to listen he's like I've just been stab three times: it's not that bad. Let's have it
stu, never like you're right. It's not that bad. You right in.
Have you tried blowing through your nose?
good help until
the story of the battle of little bighorn Magee declared. He was detached by custard just before the master to carry a message to major reno
was to have may like other like yet your buddy we're here about reality, even the air about cars, to turn. That now is that I was given. I know, and I was told that I had to deliver the note. You just killed the guy
Stu yet hold on a second
he bears scars of many wounds which he declares he received in battle, so he's showing them. The sky they're like yeah dude, you kill the guy over stewie is like look at my back. A lot of that is from that last war, yeah that one that would that was crazy.
Well, it's again: it's a nice. It's a swede ending its a love story. It's yeah! We is there a recipe, and this is the recipe section of these really should have out the recipe and there should mad as they should,
They should have that absolutely should have done like, and this
is actually hey. Do it and then sandwich?
I was wrong right
or maybe even ass. I was going to say- maybe you put in both and then have readers right, an umbrella,
We like this magazine at her. He should have guessed friend I mean this is a much more compelling way to sell a recipe than you know. Any other recipe finer liners, there's four paragraphs about
the backstory of how they came to get? This is much much better. It's effective marketing like a pink sauce. I dunno, if you guys, have seen what's going on with pink sauce, but I I can't do it fyi. What is what's happening? It's it's a remarkable thing. There's a woman who's made a thing called pink sauce. A lot of people think it's just thousand island dressing with a little more pinker branch dressing with pink but she's been selling it, and people are saying that consistency isn't right. It's made a lot of people sick and then, when she reported it, people notice that the FDA had never been contacted and when they've tried to remake it, she's clearly missed
it's like a gumming agent in it, so the f D, a come down on urge when I take packages like you guys really fucked me by talking about it now, the f D, a is mad and I'm just an entrepreneur not just like this is this is exactly this
the representative of everything's marineris austin, alfredo sauce mix together in my mind,
Yes, you ve got to see the labels and a bottle, but anyway that's that's. That's the current times at least
Thank you so much for joining us on past times. We really appreciate it won't thinking having me yes,
again long story long
Syria exam she's, funny she's
funny channels and the lack of real seven seven one. Every thursday big serious, accept family, so I'll get every thursday.
If you have anything to say no good our
We want to thank everyone for listening and don't forget how to make a stew and let's go learn about midnight.
All right, everybody gareth reynolds here from the dollar podcast you're. Listening to it doesn't matter, hey wanted to hit you with some standup dates I have coming up. Please join me on the road. I will be at flappers comedy club in burbank california, on December sixteenth, which is a saturday december twenty first and twenty second, I will be a good nights in a raleigh north carolina got it stuck the landing. I will also be at bananas comedy club in rutherford, new jersey on december, twenty ninth and december thirtieth. Then please come out on the road I'll be hitting a lot of dates. I will be at las vegas nevada, wise guys on february, twenty six I'll be at the wise guys in salt lake city february. Twenty seventh, I will be a comedy works in denver
Or february twenty eighth, I will be in wichita kansas on february, twenty ninth that vor chaise cocktail lounge, who knew that the twenty ninth, then I will be yeah, there's a few more dates they're becoming soon. I will be at the comedy club of kansas city on march. Third, then, on march, oh seventh, I will be in Dallas texas. On march eighth, I will be in Houston, texas, then, on march ninth I will be in Austin Texas. Listen to you texas, then march tenth san antonio march, twelfth lafayette, Louisiana and then I'll, be in new orleans march. Thirteenth go to Gareth reynolds dot, com for tickets and information, there's some guys already using guar me. So I can't do garmin anymore, so I think we're guerre bears with the gear bears. Who knows I dunno out me: please Gareth, reynolds dot com join me on the road. Thank you.
Transcript generated on 2023-12-26.