The alright everybody woke up to the pastimes podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history, picked up by dave, Anthony and Gareth reynolds and I've never seen it before, and neither is our guest this week ram elwood hi, graham, are you guys doing great you have a special that is out. It will be operated by the time this is released called manifested march. Second, it came out on the all things comedy you two page. What's the best, yoke, and why is this? while the seems like one of those like awful like what come on. I do on the edge of this package is very red car, petty who's, your shirt made by

where's wish. I was made by the identity money to the onion newspaper and they sent me a shirt with an onion gave. Is it just? It is graham feel, like he thinks, he's better than us. I think so it's I think very yeah. I don't think it's a feeling guys. I think it's just kind of her. now, graham you ve got your curly angry at the ocean right. That's what I've been hearing sire thing: rapidity apportion. Yes, very soon, you yelling at things of that nature. what's going on the notion that makes you so mad about a right now, cold and stupid, and I've been underway for two months now. We ve had two days that were seventy degrees debts it is a problem with marge snow. It's pretty normal this time here, yeah he's the he can't serfs. So he's man just imagine being like that. Just he just keeps enemy tat, saying at forty five degrees in big capital, letters that

Is just telling about angles angles? as a solution aim lower will grow encourage everyone to go. Watch manifested. He's comedy you two page, that's where my special is so now we are in direct competition, but it's all in good fun. We. you like written on youtube. It's not absolutely is absolutely is absolutely is anna. I plan will fight you, we like to start by get so Davis, it's a stupid paper and he we like to start with a guess, a guess of what year this paper is I'm going to gas because it's you as the gas than you seem very socialist, I'm gonna get he's: gonna try to rile you up, so I'm gonna get that he's gonna. I would like a nineteen twenty eight paper. That's gonna be my guest

interesting, I'm gonna give you could go back to the sixteen hundreds. If you like, we can go old school. If you think it's gotta be about, you know some. His goose being stamped on or something What's happened along sixteen hundred alacrity, very large areas, eight grab, the what a goose rage back and the hundred yeah yeah. I actually. I'm gonna go with Actually gonna go at the nineteen eightys. I think it's gonna be eighty tell so great gas reagan's greater red scepticism, great gas. I think they ve. I like talking about how america never learns from its mistakes, so I think we're going to forget what happened What are you talking about? Americans? No one man's name or gave David do podcast about that, but should.

I won't ruins more that we agreed that we should agree. Dollop put the plague in san Francisco nineteen hundred, and why did we not learn anything? Oh it's! It's fantastic! I mean when I love like governments secretly camp and I just go through and the mist. The two crazy shit that the united states military has done by time and time again believe lost nukes. They they used. You know. They ve contaminated the water with like foam to put out air plain fires and they just keep its ever. Will you read the story or, like nobody saw this common? Nobody saw coming like everything every time, it's the same thing, so it's it's a lovely camp, does a lost nuke matter if nobody finds it. No, not really, I mean Corsica, with them, as it can happen

They want the one thing that could happen. They can I go what what may be a goods goose gets stepped on. I dunno it's not about yeah yeah, maybe a goose, a nuke! Well, look guys that you're, both it's right in between you, it's nineteen, fifty one ooh interesting! May third,. Key west florida its way, starting in Florida I know it's gonna be great. I know this is a great story because Florida, is a fantastic place. I wondering is florida crazier now that that would be my queries. Let's see I was now a year. I think it's crazy or now I think back, then you aren't just sort of people who were trying to especially q s like just trying to sort of get away from it all and escape the ira. But now it's like that. You know it's, but we gotta go. That's crazy! That's a technical term! What there is actually a joke. I do and in manifested available scrap nice nice.

Civic seamless plug you not himself, even notice, I'm always out of it. When I talk about the real problem with florida today is everybody: that's moved there, not the retirees, I had some shady reason why we ask them Where else you go. Why did you move to denver? Why did you there is all my wife got a job we wanted to be closer to. My parents were something florida, that's always some work. order and nevada have They start a laissez faire, more than any other states, laissez faire business rules, and- and so that's where all these guys who fuck up at business go so they could do more shit like it's I'll be there? And I heard that in Australia that that's what perth is everybody who's like who's written scams that burn bridges? They all go out to perth in Australia, but you can't get in order to get them. It's just a pain in the ass. If they're in Perth you're, just like nah, fuck em, let them go.

at this hour, flight aright fights the q s citizens. In the paper paper or page. It's just one. Guy on a page. Two of now are on page to page one allowable. Not much happens, there's nothing. On page one page, one says a lot of like not it's boring, basically er no defence, we see that a gentleman in another state who embezzled eighty seven thousand five hundred and fifty three, from the firm by which he was employed was spent. The prison term by the judge who heard the case because his wife testified. That quote, I drove him to it. Well, so the mode of life, the widespread. Yet the wife pressed him because he is He's just upon in the wifi deem essential here like he's like a divorced dad judge

and I do is going to go. My wife is just ride me like air Jesus Christ. This sounds like me with the garbage not guilty. If I understand correctly, basil. Eighty seven grand and the judges said no big deal. Ok Well, let's see this is something of a new defence and one that will be overworked if the jurists of the nation take it seriously. The man, it seems, made good the major portion of his embezzlement and will presumably, during his tenure probation, complete retribution, so he's paid some of the back. It's like a lot of it back, but still he did steal money. We trust the defendant will demonstrate by his activities in the next few years the wisdom of the judge who relieved him of a prison term. Nevertheless, we suspect that the unusual defence made in his behalf will be repeated many times.

throughout the nation. If other wives are willing to take the stand and assumed lie for the criminal acts of their husbands, so the kind of putting on the wife for taking the stand, its data, the judge, yeah right, yeah, of course. Of course, they find a way to go away practice correctly. Herself, this guy embezzlers, eighty seven grand and then. The white paper is at least not be their grant. His wife. Basically did began behind every good man is a wife that helps him embezzled. We all know that statement here, always So then she takes a stand and ended cause. You took the sentences, I I drove him. I drove him to do it yeah and then everyone's like. Well, that's pretty good and the judge is like yeah, no further questions and they're like yeah judge. It is like we ve heard enough you, rather she kept what new dresses and in things

my god had. The tail is always I get out of here. The dog judge. Just look. I what somebody spec his wrist. Where do you think she's dead? Well, the girls and they're all gonna do drag me to the bracket. I need to vomit, why judge from sorry, but someone suck this man's dick Literally, the wife wasn't I mean that's kind of Probably part of the problem. You know they honour the about it, I'm not getting the late night studies I used again. For god's sake, someone cuff I'd, kill. This man when I had I had

vessel. Eighty seven grand to get blow jobs for prostitutes cause, my wife wasn't doing her job. So that's really I'm a and that's one of the judge. What now that I get it you're right, I get it! That's fine, hey kid! You find what it is like. It does also hark to a time where the judicial system made more sense, which is always yeah. No, I I totally concur. I I totally agree. It's another reason why I'm never going to get married yeah. Well, you were so you try that exactly and she made were married, oh how much money you still owe millions, and then I tested all that which was also her fault, Do you know if I go to vegas with embezzled money and the dice go cold? Is it my fault, I mean? Is it really my fault? A lot of people think that graham can't surf because his wife is controlling the oceans so well.

You said it's ok, I'm not saying now. That's out there saying with subs of that look at every time he puts his tone the ocean. He goes glad. Why what's? There was glad as I like her you up. I like that you sticking with the fifties big dave glad as the white house and then she came out of the house and her hair rollers and through her slipper yeah right on the yep right on the beach and electrons to preserve foods. This next, oh hell, yeah just about the time everybody has or wants to buy a deep freezer along comes the news that a short burst of high speed, electrons shot through meat, fish, fruits and vegetables. Keep them without refrigeration for years. That is very about perry. Has the electron iser scared?

Can you imagine we lived before you could on you? Children are usually meet razors it, reserve at these things. A model by allowing o put it up, put and close it before you just put your press, preferred refrigerated goods on the ground and shoot it with their living room. isn't that right. Nobody had living revisers now mean come on your iphone. My I know you. I just got that up. Yeah laser at mistake- and now I get my poor cold applies their paws. Well, if I keep my poor old everybody stops talking. As I keep a pork, so gonna go. Let me show you know I. This is feels like nineteen, fifty one to one that the air space age.

so everything was? Was they thought everything was going to be robot only and it clearly hasn't happened, so it has not happened now, we've I reverse. This piece of information comes from the new york journal of commerce, which says that the foods will keep indefinitely without changing their taste, odor or appearance, and then the next sentence is So what question mark a what My meat and food doesn't ever rot preserved forever. Ever is a game changer and nations worldwide starvation, this guy? and that was What about garbage disposal repair man? We can put them out of work. What are we gonna do with the garbage guys. Well, it seems that one needs a machine called the capacity drawn to do the work,

how much is asked we now we do not know, but probably a lot more than a deep freezer, where it certainly what a waste of an art it's great to know how much time of hours this guy wasted. Now, in retrospect meeting I was just like, I think, of you to do what the electron gun, the capacitor whatever the fuck it's it's really. You can see like the three guys running this key west postal dispatch. It was called going guys we got all this empty space on page two, we gotta fill it up with something, and it's like, oh well, I just saw I agree. I read a dr seuss cartoon about a con controller tigers. Look. Can we just use that and put that in there? I was talking to a guy who sold me the empire state building and he said that there's going to be a new way to reagan, pork, cold.

That is a lot of newspapers through. Beginning of neither are you getting at the very beginning, and they really just put news him, but then then, at some point they decided putting like this. Well, one fact that rights like what what's his name mom got the fuckin. They go the main news guy, unlike the sixtys, when he takes a tour of the house. if the future and he's like he used to have to take plates out of a cabinet, but in the future you will simply look at this tube and demand a plate and it will come down it's just like there's. Everything is incorrect, except for like computers or is just like. It would not be uncommon for you to ask the computer to print out the weather for the day computer give me weather like off, but piglike it'll be remarkable. North will that's all they thought the future was gonna, be all I knew matic tubes judgements. Do everything everyone who based yeah, you Jessica,

and the american dream was the just stand in front of a tube would be like hot dog and it was at work. Can you imagine eating pork ass if a snap of a finger say so that a speaker predicts a lifespan of a hundred and twenty five years for our great grandchildren? This is interesting, but not our concern Why have we yoga just land No, we know that you're not going to live to be one hundred and twenty five asshole, hey look. Kids are going to live to be one hundred twenty Five, but don't worry about it, you nobody hears gotta worry about it, yeah, that's it dead by by the tiber under twenty five. believe it or not. As fifty year old you'll be dead. I think what they were saying is we didn't we're not concern about it, because we always growing the earth up so bad here, the nineteen fifty that by the time the these kids actually work I'll die before their sixty, so I won't matter not if we're dead

Did you do with the younger generation? but then what are we going to do is put wasted rivers bags in oceans, let's eat that sky yeah. You know it actually, there's a new electronic gun I think we should start shooting at the ozone layer. As a new contaminants are that'll, make the polar ice caps, bigger and better than ever, yeah plunging necklines and tv wow. What a plunging neckline on tv! How am I gonna come up with the article for these two things? This delay from your Q s paper this you looking out of drugs and the bob to know that they were like oh. We have an older audience that conservative here in key west does it before keeper

got overrun by like drug dealers and jimmy via the upper yeah right. You have a virus. I bet that I bet the sixties. Key west went off a bit, I wouldn't get jellia, it just became a haven for they have any idea that went jimmy buffet came there. They were like this is like this is a cultural touch point now I did what was happening like they're, just like what you mean, there's gonna be like stuff. Parents everywhere. The plunging that line has officials of television station somewhat worried especial and its special committee is going to work on a programme which will apply to such matters as tv neckline and excessive commercials there, and then this is. This is a a female phobia correct. Third, yet it right there saying that they're starting to see lopez, little language, Yeah right or not, yeah, it's together, committee live better a I athletic, just Joe them like

our phones now would be like. So what do you want to watch due to go into it ass? He girl. Is that did this committee know that only fans was going to be created and be a porn star, plunging necklines horrible necklines, and let me introduce you fellows to the bang bus, the the watch yeah. You know like the bus that goes to places to drop people off this picks people up, and then everybody fucks that side of it wait. What but the neckline yeah don't worry about that but neckline, that's over oh yeah. The neck light is absolutely nothing kids. It is there It's a grain of sand on the beaches of fucking porn, the panic asters. The telecast is frankly fear that unless they do something about programme standards, somebody will

do it for them. They may be news. What do you think of this, and this is what they said. They would love that actually yeah. They may be right because the history of this country shows that abuses on the part of moneymakers are usually countered by regulations which are then denounced as regimentation. Well, while I mean imagine thinking that was true, but it's so it's so funny. Their concern isn't that money making would be. Fucking over laborers or screwing growing or the corporations corporation dinner, they want it's like now, you get more elegant, more breast, which is the only good thing that comes out of moneymakers it it's it's kind of like me, when I don't care about the guy in the future house. It sort of like they got a couple thing is right and then pretty woefully woefully barkin system, and this is the typical destroy

action of america rather than like. Oh big corporations, are gonna destroy the environment and and exploit labour. The move, there's gonna, be too many boobs unit with a guide. None of the nose industry. Why there everybody its gareth? You know from this this podcast, listen, I've got some stand of shows I'm inviting the garments tat Gareth army to join me, for I will be fort collins, colorado august, eighteenth and august nineteenth I'll, be in minneapolis, minnesota august, twenty four through august, twenty six that acme, I will be go to the uk and september. Please join me. I will be glad as gauss september, thirteenth, london september fifteenth, Dublin september, seventeen september nineteenth manchester Birmingham September twenty of bristol. number, twenty second and cardiff september, twenty. Fourth,

then in November albion, australia november tat it's almost sold out. I think I'll be in melbourne, Australia, then I will be in north bridge australia, november, fifteen november, sixteen camera november, seventeenth brisbane november eighteenth, and then I will be in sydney on november. Twenty fourth go to Gareth reynolds dot com for tickets. Gar me, let's get add, did after it. Let's see you there.

A new school year is just around the corner, which means the kids need new clothes news. The flies knew tat, knew everything luckily even get all your back to school. Essentials are walmart, then pay over time with a firm like laptops to crush their homework, our supplies to feed their creativity and slickers for them to grow into and out of a your back to school, something with budget friendly payments at walmart, dot com, slash, affirm, traffic in the bible, provided by more about how we'll talk about it. More workers help wanted a woman a wallet area. I want to know what kind of helping it down are. Nineteen, fifty one I just saw about this one jumped out of male help wanted cuban boy. Sixteen must know how to drive and willing to do other work in them, very well, very weird, it's very specific other, further work?

I would like a sixteen year old boy. I voted against I am a licence. I want you to arrive and stuff. I really go. You're you're does where stuff around and lift up thing your nipples lee? What's going on very me, carrying the barricade. alright know you're in the bed. Alright I'll go get off the clothes that need to be washed, okay or the ones you're wearing. Oh, oh, oh sir, sir, oh, how cuban ru and over one hundred present service, This is ridiculous: Ok, you know why you put the add up again, I'm where I think we need to produce their own guys. Pork. Likewise do now. The other was immediate assumption,

This is made by an old creepy man. This could about an old creeps common who his treasure yeah. I learn cuban boy. Is the next part to put oil on them on a wet god? Why? God bless her? If that's true, I think I'm yeah, I think I'm okay- and this is just here in the classifieds. You remember what you said: they're putting stuff they didn't take up space, make sandwiches of sliced ham and cheese, then dip into a french toast, better and fry in butter or margarine until both sides of the sandwich, golden brown serve jelly at austrian cell or tea or caustic, stirred with jelly. How high are you this is purely like reginald, your college stone drug shit I have a bottle of bacardi lemme by verse blood. Now

Take I have achieved savage, deep right, goaded. Jelly. The us is very much feels like the fifties. Where everything was just deep pride with a side of bacon salami up. Anyone saw tee with butter, and I wish I wish we could also show like again like for them today, like yeah, you had a little fun with that have sandwich we're pudding, twinkies into say, better. We ve lost control. It is like when you And it was gods and state where you are genuinely like just because we can doesn't mean we should all. I know you, everyone state fares, and you go. I don't why all america hasn't obesity epidemic. I can't we think we gave rise to and we're gonna eat his ribs man.

we're making everything into a cheese kurd it'll be great. I greet fry all, graham I ve cheese kurds that I just had. I was in minneapolis and my god deep pride, cheese kurds. It really is it still disgusting what the mid, this is doing with food yeah I'll tell ya, you get your vegetarian to write grim yeah, but I remain for the most. Are you gonna, like the trees you get? What you want is dinner if you want to divert they're just you're you're, like a nice baggage drippin, what cheese like there's no semblance any more of the original me like that, like gay pride pizza, deep pride, cheat you just like you should work. What about tasting the thing it's like nano! Now we got a deep credit Put it in a pillar. Fried only was gods and only estate in america would take cheese that

his card, which is the fattest part of the of the chief hardy bad, not a great decision and then do like we have as it were, now it really right. It's just a double down or their like was pretty bad for your heart. What have we parted at a bunch of oil? That's pretty good! What if I took my afford at once, after and put cheese curds in the back and deep, fried it and then fucked it and ate it? What if we did drive it up? Let's drive it off a ramp to jazz or style into an ocean of bubble and vegetable oil. Saturday, and fire and then all I care I rogers effort and his I work at a rarity grabs track, as I still remember the first time on one and two on the south. I, like you, know those moments where you have like a photographic memory of that moment. Like the first time, I saw a giant barrel of fat back

I just stood there staring out. I'm like this is literally just a barrel of slices of fat yeah. That's henry when I remember I've got. I remember when I moved away and off the movie, fargo came out and people that had I, like my acting class, were only from like california or wherever we're like two people. Really, that way of life like yeah, yet other do like an like. This I remember telling all of the stories like when I was at a comment: first, while growing up in wisconsin and living in chicago and doing gigs upper peninsula misuse driving all over and then being like what the fuck choices Dar and people like. Now I go there. Just you way I'll I'll tell is another story to what we're doing we're on the road of the dublin, where shooting a little. Many like doc series I am on the road

We were driving with a camera crew from light, we were doing like a maniac less than madison, unlike lincoln, the roma ah well, chasm you're driving of cross like the plains, and we d like to my crew in the car and religion around twelve or on new. You will stop for lunch and and Doug I gotta hopefully will find like at chili's or a t, J variety or something and the king, the l a was, I all yeah we ain't eating. There were like ok, just wait yeah this town, and there are some horrifying tavern and there's like a pizza place and a kentucky fried chicken and a t g. I fridays and we're like yo areas the healthy his place in this county right there. Yet. The fact- and I use the word- used datura, especially salaries, to call talk about the california embassy.

I'll get it right talk about story, I was working. So I'm going to check all was a row coming. It was working some small tat way and downstate illinois so good, like for five hours out the chicago which people start having southern accents down there, and it was some bowling alley, lounge and but they put us up in the house. To all the next town over the bowling alley, lounge town, wasn't big enough and I remember talking to like the waitress at the at the lounge after the show and she's like so where are you guys, staying or we're in the next town over? They got us a hotel over there and she goes off. They just opened up a I called man, you guys are so lucky as I could I'm in russia, illinois What book did I hear you? We get a passport and just drive the twenty six miles east to get the big taco bell, opening yeah, that's what they got. These new things called

blue jeans, they think virgin and they make a chalupa rep. So you have to go for blue jeans, livable, alright! Well, I got letters to the editor warns. Public editor, the united states coast guard, has information to the united states coast guard. So this is a letter from dwight mcclellan officer in charge of marine inspection. Okay, so this varicose, the coastguard, writing. The paper right, which is great, the united states coast guard, has mentioned to the effect that a certain mattress company of miami, which is now out of business, had in stock a quantity of heavy canvas. Jackets filled with cotton and quilted, which it is alleged, were sold as life jackets or life preservers. Okay, oh wow, good, Lord At the service of clouds, the some guys like me, I am right tat. Their life preservers. Ok, we may draw.

Well, why did they bottom up? What's it, every company would sink ease We we we're we're we're under the dead weight umbrella of life preservers, it's called a life preserver, I didn't say the aft, it's a life preserver, you got cajon, oh my god. The jackets were used to protect the body of persons engaged in training dogs. The jackets were sold by this company to a wholesale hardware, company of miami who purchase them under the presumption that they were lifesaving equipment, that piggy could be used to on board vessels and in turn they sold various qualities to the business houses in this zone weight, but are they for humans or their foots? The dog is for a human

They were used as to protect people from dog attacks when you're training attack dogs. What I thought you were saying so the guy was like alright, so we'll guy we're going to show you guys at a tray with the oh, my god, my arm by my figures, but nice they're like Jesus. He the judge, really rip through that. No, I think that they were so thick. that, though, that David words dies, and so no, they may saw them like preservers, which would just be like putting on a anchor Yes, that's gonna filled with water get heavier. I Don't worry, I help is on the way. Where do you go? I. Hardly likes the idea, though, that when you first arena stored thing, a problem I was it is this mattress company that goes. We get all is extra cod madras think back to speak of an online prisoners. Are they all gonna? Now, let's go but I'm hoping this was about tat, very odd. I said something in return.

How did they will, I put it in a goat, was sold to the political cut it up? Put it in court will sell him back to the wholesale authority. It's the people, not the people, that the dogs are more ass. The by anything it's like preserving at this. I put a jacket full of old tuna cans, and I I wrote my preservatives and fucking the more I bought it in the dump. The public is warning that these jackets are not life preservers or Buoyant can be use it. neither away and they use reading the tag memorial job in this as non boy, yeah. And also not a lifeless like they really need to be clarified. That's what it's really like, really not really not alive for this It was preserver, it's not buoyant, but this is a life preserver. It's different yeah they're, just like jack straw to get all know that there's little car tire to him. Jesus Christ that doesn't float either. Would you buy the shit from mattress

company, ok, yeah, that is going to be a weird answer. The only life preservers permitted on vessels are stamp approved us coast guard. Well, there you go, that's why you don't buy your life saving ocean materials from a from leeds I mean somebody. Somebody died right. We ve got a hope that somewhere else The weather was like that: it's some guy, just jobs at six, like a stone that overcoat seemed a little bad. Didn't it. I don't know we got these like preserves its schubert. I don't know why they're not working, it doesn't make sense at seeing any flaws, but the plan or the purchase no noise at nasa knock that an apple, not new york ben fine bird director of the national country club in nap enact new york year. We now I mean we was anything a nap not happening

dave. Dave, I'm sorry can I just jump in was: is this in any way geographically associated with napa? Not now? Why would you think that a hunch scrupulously observe the rules of noise abatement week? Recently, noise, a baby link week, there's a whole week a week. Not yet so. Hey everyone next week, we're just totally going silent. They will record that what no we have lives career! It's because you get library rules were next week as it is like a big promotional. I get ready for a monkey silent. We kidnapper knock, you will now take a journey inside yourself without communicating to other humans. It'll brought itself diagnostic.

There's a silence parade going down main street and that all talking will have their tongues cut out in napa knock. This is a state why noise abatement weight. So following the new york state, no you're yanks media is quiet estate, the one that can- because we're wyatt. If europe may we will have one week where we all shut up back up. What the fuck you talk about, that stop. It now shut the fuck up starting now, everyone will write starting now, quiet enough. It includes me zip, it is one roof like yourself, stop talking ass. All look we have sixty. twenty three hours and fifty nine more minutes and is silence to be above all you got. It fought very somebody, I would to get out of that, guy law

you do not give out following the governor statement that noise impairs human health and lowers efficiency. Fine bird said he install the mild buzzer's, so this is just like superfluous noise will be silenced fully, not just as noise. Give me talking, you can map, that's why we were having fun, but you can support it. Please get it went off is, and we like I'd, look what do you like, whatever dad we're done what he just got elected, crazy he's a good so fuckin loud here I gotta get an office or would have been like he's. What, if he's got a huge like bribery scandal, so his as though he's just like nobody talk for a week. That's the solution. I mean

this is a quite like. So then, what there's? No trains going is nothing well shit. You can push it. nobody with a hammer, there's no construction happening that literally literally a dead, weak, weird. a dead I'll. Listen, I for not levied at all all construction places. We use nerve, nerve, nails. Immerse? You are allowed to stack and move. That's it that's pretty much. It. Our weinberg says he installed muffled buzzer's in each room instead of the customary bell that loudspeakers replaced, the dinner gong. What way across borders is eighteen,

insane asylum guys we're gonna have to chill at the dinner guys what this epilepsy day should have as a basic instrument that let us know what it's time to slop yeah. without a big thing. I did fifty one american art was just dinner, gongs everybody. I write it hit the guy mistakes ready. He put the jelly on the outside of the deep right sandwich hit the gong. Let him know it's time All war room, all war, rubber sold footwear, what's in guards Where is this? What is the beginning of your baby, so new york, I can't believe this is maybe working are happening. Assign would put was posted at the entrance against excessive horn blowing

the slogan of no noise at eighteen up a knock order or export happen. I so now. This is just what just what the many The continent is just putting it under nap or not so the governors like, though everywhere, do whatever you cut nap or not. We are just we have added up to here. We are done with your bullshit nap, knock, napa, knock it off. Napa knock is just saying what they did for the governors order were just getting a slice of town life At the moment, the craziest city and faced with a purpose for every other with that that would argue around like what happens when you implement silencers on the city. Here, everyone put your rubber on wake. That's it! Why don't you care? Don't you?

but the governor, your hockey, your heart now you're right, I mean the rockets, definitely will probably wearing rubber shoes during that week. You know he took the wig off one sick, yeah it, but it's also having just been in new york. Let's go. I am so it yeah lead would be I from two to seven a m. Everyone is like we should back up. I I lived there for five years and I never got used to the noise. What does one I can handle? I was, I was staying in a room where he again no temperature control on your own. So if it's fifty outside its eighty, where you and then you open a window and you're just like so I just have to like live like Tom hanks in big like what, if gets to the city. Here's like shootings, I, like ok, cool good options. Do you want to not sleep because a boy? he'd? Or would you like violence yet

was there for three days in october and I was kind of like doing you need to come back to this town ever again. Shocking- and I want you in new york to me at this point- is shocking rights. Actually, it's a fun place live in your twenties, then that I dont know why anybody within our in our twenty, I dont know if that is still lie right, finally rule, but it is now so goddamn expensive. It is not a control ever there's like

and when I know there's there were just when I moved there. There were just just that: just cleaned up times square salary. At more times square became like it's like a forty block like thing of jet night garbage. Now you take a chance, that's the headline. This is a bad one. I think, like it, repetition of a story day in and day out kills interest is the same old thing and unless those who play a part in it are well known few people. read the story this. How did this end? This is just like this guys is just some guy who's, like I snuck into the paper. Yeah just tell anyone that I snuck in how'd you get in here. I made the article no you're, not quiet, take a chance. Could you

like the guy at the printer press had had enough he's like I read the same fucking thing every day, stupid stories and I think lance at the printers popped, a story in the paper. Yeah Why that always mumbles to himself and says a sunday everyone's gonna get it that can keep saying I'm going to show you one of these days, someday, reopened and take a chance to take a chance lance with fifty years. Is ago, an automobile was as glamorous as an airplane is today. It's like anybody starts with is like look look shut up when anybody was killed in an automobile accident. Half a century ago, newspapers played up the story about

It, but since that time considerably more than one million people have lost their lives in automobile accidents in the us accounts of most of which did not appear in newspapers yeah. You know this guy's right take route, there's not enough paper that has a million articles about every person who died. That's true, they don't cover of them. Welcome to my new article, nobody needs to this as everyone welcome to vehicular manslaughter daily that's what I get out of it. I don't guess I think he's getting to the point here today. Almost an average of one hundred persons davy lose their lives in animal beale accidents and an average of more than a hundred die as a result of accidents in homes, but the public hairs only about us. White percentage of those fatalities. What would it look good practice? Nearly all our line of practically all air paid accidents are reported. They

we want an yeah, but there may be lowered high quality, higher casual you're late. Their lance, particularly when the fatalities are as many as occurred off key west in the collision of the navy training plain at a d c he for cuba, a subsidiary of pan american air. So, ok, it's getting guy I got it evolves. Thou is like this now. Let me walk you know why I do it is my friend tat was on a plane, so this guy's point people die all the time you ask as they die. that, would just because they are killed by the garage door, doesn't make any difference there when two planes color, it over key west. But what is his personal gripe? What does he say? Air about the ladys upset that there is too much talk. An act of light is entirely by creating playing ok, so he's we seek at a dizzy for cuba,

but I'm sure I that's, probably an accelerated It happened recently that dominates new cycle down shirt right. We want to do is bring this guided the cnn during the malaysian plain incident, the f god damned son of a bitch. They built us oh my god, on the other. They do it in his verbiage. He said, it's very much like the car death thing is a cover up like. Why are they hiding that from us like that whose car accidents I mean people, die in their homes every day and it's like a cup like he doesn't he does it again he's just saying the reason he said he said: people die what he would. It would have been. The reason why an airplane gets more coverage is because it's less common and it's high

the fatality. So spare your rights, a guy dies, a guy yeah, a guy dies from a garage door, yeah it's nuts, but that's one guy we're talking about like two hundred and eighty people in one pop yeah, you're, probably going to talk about it, a little more. You know when a when a car crashes- it's not it's, not fifty dead strewn over two hundred feet in an explosion. It's just if a clown car crashes at its two. and then it's like islets dance right and they think the dead bodies keep coming out of other decide like the azure cried. Oh, how many are there in the resolution? Thousand around seventy thousand clouds. Fifty thousand killed this mazda. Why average one comes out, a dead body comes out, somebody hawks knows is we were so appalled by the crash of the plains, causing the death of forty three persons. We gave little thought to the fact that it was the first accident that a cabana airliner headaches,

in seventeen years, there are so huge. Why am I have at this god. I don't know what he wants. The only way the comparative percentage of deaths in automobile and airplane accidents could be determined would be to ascertain the number of cars and planes that are in operation. So he and then he's going to go through the math which we're not going to go into this guy, or this is an article that should be called shut. The fuck up jim yeah, it's just a little. I I actually,

I enjoy? You know what this is like: pre, Andy Rooney. Are they always talking? Why are they always talking about the plane crashes? People die in car accidents all the time. For me, someone dies in a car. I find that to be tragic, but planes that's way more than trains or anything else. Let's walk through it and also as mustard a condiment or is it an extra? I mean he was because my parents would watch sixty minutes every week and he just drove he drove me insane. Why does the orange rim around the decaf decaf just have a completely different color? haha. I was at the restaurant the other day and ass for decaf when she brought it over. I said why is it got that big orange room? Why do they call an orange orange? Another call a bunch of bernard argued hello artist. One.

this. If you keep it in your pocket, why is call the a hand kerchief keep it inside your hand? That's all he do. It is forever at people. I remember when I was growing up. I was like who is this guy who's, mostly eyebrow, and they were just like this I just bitches about everything else, I what a gag, what a gig. I wonder If it's stationary, why is it called rock and roll? Can it be called stellen roll and if it's not rolling shouldn't just be called still think, like a led zeppelin's of the world, really poison the minds of a generation when it comes to what the action verb really is They had a really big variety you're, making a million dollars a year yeah I It's a week on some And I came up with thirty seven before we shot it? I'm ruined

I made a late and I shouldn't David called shoelaces. Wouldn't they make more sense to call him shoe strings them to think about the all? This is a story, a peaceful end of Antonio California right Mr crowing brings fine the conakry. Let crowed in a better, not be a knack and cannot find the crop road actually actually ordered. Point of clarification does actually It happened in economic and that's where they rubber chicken was invented. Grandma the night out my girl get out of the doom somehow get out. I wouldn't put my arms for that.

I won. I just want insiders one, the internet today now that this conflict crowed in the more improved the undoing of isabella bulletin of salinas California. He stopped at a gas station at five. Forty five, a m and a couple of passing policemen were attracted by the lusty crowing of a rooster. The officers said they found six game cox in the back. what is happening there like glad he was by twenty five dollars for illegal, but I wanna, bang whatever's make an that noise lusty. He was, he had it. He must be coming back from caught fights at five, forty, five, a m and they were in his truck and he was gas an up and they were crowing. So the cops stopped because a guy had roosters truck at six a m and they will turn out to be fighting roosters. Well, if you're, if you're gonna be driving with contraband cock at six eight,

you know. You know what happens at six, a m they ve got. You go crazy. You're out like this. Is that you're on the clock, you're going out, you really do that. You are. If you are a cock fight, you really have to get home before the sun cops alone, you're fucked everybody. I learn that we will continue to morrow night there about to go crazy, two cops or that we're back here Are you motherfucker hurry? I read it Twenty five bucks is really like. He should have known better you're, always going to be ok back before sunup. You know this you're right. How come the roosters make a noise at that time of day? Wouldn't it make more sense for their clocks to be set at nine? Am why do we turn the clocks back at all? Why is it called daylight savings when you actually lose a man who, who hasn't turned if the podcast at this point, what does a podcast really more of a pocket radio show and okay? This is the disguise of expensive column called. Let's.

Face it: oh boy, let's face it, I'm afraid I've got bad news. The Andy rooney voice might be coming back again. This headlight, I think I said I think this because administer the character, frightened it being hauled tomato sauce catch up. Does it make any sense, not gettin away from you, you don't need to checks. The character Froud at home always has carried over into all other areas of life of all places where home characters predominant released is in the life of the church junior. Let's go his fists and bites with his teeth, because mother and daddy, let him get away with it at home. Ok, so there.

Clearly, an incident at church wow and now we have done right in the fraser. We have a minister with a a column, now shaming the family in in public. That's like trying to eat your priests yeah. What are the kit. What did the church just trying to paint them up and eat them? Yeah the temples finds full and sweet release at church. Well, that's a weird way to put it but yeah. He admitted it had better, not be catholics, but if this same temper flew the coop at the office or in school or almost anywhere else, there'd be a sentence to serve in prison. Well, if you bite in school, you don't actually go to prison

Knows how elementary school work, but it's not you not present events. What do you know about felonies handed out and grammar school, I'm pretty sure, but not so in the church. Here we have democracy at its best and at its worst we take it all out on some, dear soul or third heart. the preacher that dig in the sunday school teacher or someone we know can't and wooden returned the blows not escapes this fault like them. Preacher, who unwittingly said one sunday morning my subject tonight is now. If I feel tonight like I do this morning, I'm sure I'll be full of my subject: rude dude. You need a calm, your shit down, while this visit there's a kid. It's not behaving well the church, and this makes it a baby. He got me this, like the going on twitter and tweeting about you. You know

someone at work or whatever are right yeah. You know like this. What he's doing everyone, an accounting who is in a bad mood today, you need to chill out. It is clearly not a catholic church because the priest could beat the shit out of you and a catholic church. So he's like him that's what he's mad at that. He couldn't like smack this. Kid is what it sounds like and then feels like. The kid should be getting smacked more at home, so he's calling the parents out for raising a shit, kid you sounded in article to the area. I think that is what exactly the pretty cool. It's also get its way better. My parents, you know, dropped the ball a lot of areas but pulling us out of a catholic or you know, at a sunday, school was one of the things I high fived them for sure. I have an idea for a new new column that I would like to write for your paper. It's called buck my flock in every week I

at about one of the people in my in my church, I'll tell what's causing this I would go to. I would go to you church hundred per se. The priest to say: ok, he misunderstood when you wanted him to have a piece of the body, people and their people start. Try to get in the paper by just doing shit to him. Oh yeah, I write whoever proved in the holy water. That's not a toilet. Enough is enough, to his after writing. I meet again this far less anonymous than twitter, so he couldn't then the towns paper. This is a small area. Now everybody knows I don't know yet never like openness. That was then Mckinney's kid that was, you know, like I told you so he's God I wish we know that what the fall out from this was within what was neck dantes, yeah.

You know he did a sermon about it too, oh god yeah! Well, he wanted to do one about hell. If I had a kid and I was going to change, I would one hundred per cent just named my kid Jesus. You can do that, wouldn't be the thought you'd be like it'd, be The move, I think, I'm gonna. Do I tell the kid is more to help that's what I would do I'd say: you're going to burn it all, and then I yeah they advertise it's good, you're good you're, both not dead. So I'm a dad. I have two boys, oh coroner's, jury investigating the deaths of MR and mrs Roy ness will convene today at four pm. A new angle may be uncovered this afternoon when James oliver assistant foreman at the wellsville dove harmison company here, where nes was employed, will testify that ness frequently had trouble in getting his car into reverse instead of backing yeah. I speak for graham, and I, when I said no question so far, instead of backing up sunday morning at the time of the

plunge into the water. The nest machine jumped forward rolling down a flight of steps and plunged into twenty five feet of water. At the seawall near the samoa club. Once I got into his car, a guy got in his car It's nice to put it into reverse, but a guy at work is like he always put it forward, and then he drove down stairs and and then off the the seawall and into the sea than they do. That seems kind of deliberate. That seems a little bit like twenty five minute flights of stairs at some point. I think you can make a decision to stop or get out yeah right. You can hit the brakes, but maybe there are some people that panic and hit the gas when they get into her twenties for for for but Dave twenty five upstairs we're talking about, but also the point you have the moment where you go. I think that's the gas, but let's woods,

the whole army out forty five minutes minutes the there is a a coworker here who is literally going to testify that Roy what always get in his car and instead of backing up, go forward. So there's a thing that he did. Over and over and over again, so Roy s aim is it: crazy man or every day he's like this might be the day. I've got a bag, and why is he on the twenty fifth floor? Is it like a part? What is now the twenty fifth floor? He he plunged twenty five feet off the so I made upstairs and unaware stairs came into my vision. What he did know he did he he he rolled down

flight of stairs slightly off the twenty five feet right down now he's they went down. He went down the stairs, the go towards the sea or something I re, seawall, ok, yeah, right and he's dead right. If you happen also either you can also see while it doesn't like wooden. the possible to be around. What are you gonna? Need that for you're? Never gonna need that you're going to need download any boy? Oh god, you know Roy. Yeah we we might, we may need to see while up for roy he's he's always is always going forward, should go back. Why am I saying in their future type? What do you need to see while for the oceans These were the days doesn't get angry, it doesn't move closer, it doesn't get higher, it's never gonna encroach were. There's could be a lot to talk about like what papa

I'll fire off to something that Florida is going to be underwater in the next fifteen years. Anyway, it wasn't an ic story. You had you don't believe in god, far chief warns public once more fire chief, Laura Torres warned again today against careless disposal of cigarette stubs and the lighting of trash fires. I agree with, and I agree with this campaign, what an amazing time this, however, was throwing their cigarettes. Trash and retention of fire, and nobody connected the two like fire in, like a thing full of dry paper, could cause that those two put together might make a bad is merely guy bitch compositing a lot for no reason, yeah why the god words, so angry every time

I was thinking about it and it gets all hot nearby stats yelling at night. Yes, it everyone in the far too far was called to the rear of the town hotel on cementing street and put out a blazing pile of trash close to buildings in the area, or has commented that although the fire was extinguished in short order, it could have proved dangerous. He asked that the rules of safety ordinances be observed, a dummy he these are flammable just sick. I thought so nice to be like, like I like, to keep the streets clean. So I put my lit cigarettes in the tender jellyfish nice all sizes kinds, jellyfish in the water out of the water, a round weak iran, key west, your local person. There is no need of telling you this, however, new residence may sometimes be injured, though careless or ignorance through careless is a local paper.

Look, we're we're not. We could tell the citizens, you already know this, but in this local paper. Let's let the world know it's in case. There's a new person yeah, then, okay, so one guys like ha, I yeah. I really want to get the target audience of this article on this page like we have, we are bears. in my town, like bears watered down heroin once in a while, so that you would put in this thing: hey there, those big giant, hairy things, don't feed, 'em or walk up and try and take a picture. Okay, all the locarno. All right all right what are engaged, in fact, all the comedy opportunity out of this one. What's next was the: how do we transition? In fact, if we ended? I think that shows all I think about cases over washed about by ties. They give you a queasy feeling just to look at them. I wrote a feature.

A few months ago under the name bill Bonn it was about. Finally, we figured out who built was that so weird? Why would you I guess no! I'm writing a lotta articles under different names. I've got you trying of his paper was three guys running these papers of like they have this big news room, so they all my outing himself goodbye? It was about the potential local dangers in this impressive seems like that is all I ever write about. Hey buddy? We don't need the undermine alive. It seems what's going on. Do the Jesus Christ, somebody's happy left a cat. I left yeah. I feel like this guy's going through a tough time and he's just added. This is like an of a midnight letter after a divorce or some

I like that in the dark and siphoning gas out of my neighbors car, you know says: what's the point of any of it anyway, if you think about it, maybe fire solves everything. The jellyfish seem to understand I bought bob thanks pal civilizations and unsolvable puzzle were merely pieces in a game that kid win. Hey John. The article went a little weird there huh on your game, stacked against you with new residents arriving or might be well to keep these people informed I'll, try to revise and bring the story up to date, great kid stuff. So what are you're? Giving yourself notes in your. Oh god, it's like a movie, a character having align like this is bad. Dialogue will fix it later. I feel like there's a side of the newsroom that hangs out just as where's drafts only like we're just gonna published first draft. No, writing! No editing! Don't forget peel back the current. Let him in the process

Hey you know you mumble yourself, all the time we were thick in reality, a great article in the pay gap, but just get addictive phone. That's it! The key west. First draft, Now he wouldn't party willie, take great pride in the fact that we ve never once hired an editor at this newspaper. No, here's the thing our paper very different, you get, you get the story and the internal market. I got the writer at the same time. It's not gonna grab me the sunday typo the daily alcoholic ran from our journalists. Can we have that gag with party held at why I'm cia servicemen retreated to plenty of free child at a deck with party hell it? The way I see last night put in keeping with habits of the comic strip.

character. The men made super duper triple deck, sandwiches and pile piled high with all the stuff, if necessary, of our land tag would special loud a sandwich party. While I mean It's funny you gave me if anyone's like all these kids today, what their cause plays of that now, people have always been down. They were just dumb about things like a day. I write sandwich porn, yes, which porn one more david, one more test of honesty, cost bank, a hundred and twelve dollars, a beggar, Lana Georgia, depending at any other time, a bank in atlanta georgia, depending upon public honesty, recently put a large fishbowl of coins in the lobby and invited customers to make their own change Bugger morons, better

before they knew our character. This is like this is like take a penny leave a penny on steroids. This is weird right we want to make our own change right here. Why is it empty? How did it get empty so fast? Where did it go? There was a bunch of money and where the hell's, the money got dearer, and the bank going Oh our community loves us. No one's gonna be better that they got screwed over by the bank. Wanna take more out of it. No that'll be done whatever happened here. I just use it it after trying to expand meant for five weeks and lose five. We well that's fine. Yeah right, I'm sick of it now get sick of it. I'll get the round they'll start under. I think a lot of them just didn't understand what we wanted for a while losing a hundred and twelve dollars in the last two. Well, they in two weeks five day better five days a week back then

only nine to probably three. They lost fifty, No, we have fifty seven dollar fifty six year, fifty six dollars a week, so five doctor was day eleven dollars a day right, I mean yeah the the bank was reverted to day the indian did they take it all again, yeah yeah. They took regrets that item. I own the do look just or just due to cover warwick The bank has now scrapping inside take any key for the safety deposit box by of how the bank now debating there. How much is your check honestly worth policy? write your own monthly statement, those programmes, I'm gonna? Do you remember? I have a good your account and of course, the new programme mortgage mortgage.

If you don't have to pay it any more? If you don't want that, we are going to hope you do the right thing. Do you I miss you own. It. what they did in the housing crisis a good example in reverse. Because there is a rather we now knowing all the house. What do you mean anyway? We we found this paperwork, but I'm a thousand crisis is, is about the past all these great piece of legislation, so it's not like about to happen in the next three to nine months. Java I'd be fixed at next okay, so the beggar was reverted to the ancient and honourable custom of counting its coins in connection with the art of making change. You promise you're the founder of this bank. Do you know how much its worth in today's money? If you did so a hundred and twelve

that's good, that's sorry other than we do it. How much do you think it is? But what are we asking is inside it at different? I mean, I would say I dunno, maybe five to seven hundred I'd say it's close it away from five to seven grant. It is four thousand six hundred and fifty three I mean every over the whole that's over the whole time over the whole time. Ok, but still five great over seven rank as you're putting money into fish ball, This is about a ring, is backing expecting people to be like minded, people want to be good debate. But just one ran a week cigarette out it under two hundred and fifty dollars a day. People.

Discovered in today's. Why the back again tat I just ever taken about a hundred dollars out of it every day. There are these got this eighty, it back. Oh, my god, sir concerned, did you put money on when you took it up a fuck, you are allowed to do what I want no you're right. Just. I think I do They come in here. Every day is deputy packets, I mean spiritual. I put I put more and I took out I mean so, but hey I put the I I took out thirty dollars, but it puts them christ in there. So I consider the way war christ of babel. Then I put a nickel and I took out seventy five great policy dumb ass. What am I gonna? Do I'm a real jerks I bet would have. It was the first couple of weeks it was like. You know there are losing like a dollar two, but then. off off the like over a guy like this is amazing

hey trader aloud, and I I took it all out, then I put in it, you guys are morons on this. Guy is really to customer base? I don't even like the first weekend ahead. If they probably the bank made a little money but hey this, is we gotta keep this going and then the word got around town this thanks a bunch of morons, so just take whatever you can get out of these idiots and yeah it's empty again. What's that piece of paper at the bottom, some guy just drew a middle finger, Yeah, I know what you guys got my house thanks the fuckin seventy three hours in quarters. Sucker, you just a goldfish a for change, sir. This isn't we don't need your life story now how much life savings? Did you say you had gram? Thank you for joining us and winning the pastimes this week, you're special manifested on the all things comedy you to pay.

age and you are a fighter you're a lover go ahead. You are a fighter. I was going to say the median house price in florida at nineteen. Fifty was six thousand six hundred dollars, so almost the price of a house. They lost the price of a house in a bullet change. I mean there's so much numerical contortion going on. There My brain was camp process, but thank you graham everyone go. I watch grave special scraps. Hilarious is a very great political mindset, Banks ramming wish him luck with the battle with yes we see he will best poseidon if any the? mother.