Today on something you should know, we start with a little driving test to see what other drivers think of your driving. Then the proven and practical secrets to leading a much happier life in general notion that happy people have some kind of magical equipment where they float between chocolate, sundaes and other delight and in reality, happy people get stuck in traffic, but they're better at not letting those frustrations block out everything out also how to make a really good first impression on someone and magical things about math. You never knew

hi, for example, the irrational number which named the death penalty, never repeat at some point. Your birthday will show up in the digits of pi. Sometimes we liked nap not just because we cannot buy it, but because it is kind of beautiful think of it like music. All this today on something you should know. Are you currently enjoying the show on the stitched up? Then? You need to know. Sticker is going away on august, twenty nine yup going away as in conflict, guy's, dead, rest in peace dinner and thanks for fifteen years of service to the pod cast community, so switch to another pine cast out then follow this show their apple spotify or wherever you listen.

something you should now fascinating enter the world's top experts and practical advice. You can use your life at something you should make her. Rather I like to think of myself ass, a pretty good driver, I've only had one ticket in my entire life I was when I was nineteen and I've. Only been in, I think in one car was it just one year, I think one. Car crash. I also was nineteen at the time so that year, that year, is not a particularly good driver. But since then I've clearly stepped up my game because I haven't had a ticket or an accident since in the ruth is most of us think we're good drivers. But the fact is you and I may be doing things without even knowing it that make other drivers think we're not such good drivers, for example

crowding the car in front of you on an uphill, stop sign or stop light. This is annoying because, between the time the driver in front of you takes his foot off the brake and moves to the gas pedal. His car me start rolling backwards. A little bit. If he has a manual transmission, it all Surely wilson to roll back, and you look a jerk. If you stop to close behind him and you, jerking. This rating doubles even more. If you then hon the guy for rolling back when the light changes because he's getting who close to your car, which was he here called in the first place. Here's another one. this one really drives me crazy, is when people yield the right of way when it's there too. to go sure. You're being nice to let people go in front of you, but it throws off. Rhythm, it creates confusion and anger. So when it's your time to go, go off oh revving, your engine at a traffic light

I know this is a guy thing. I guess, but, really no one's impressed- it's not tony, it's just a neighborhood street and Everyone who hears you revving your engine at the stoplight really just Yes, thanks, you're, a maura, not you in your turn signal What is so hard about letting people know what you intend to do so you Your turn signal when you're changing lanes are turning It's really easy, just don't do it too late or too early, because you know when you signal for blocks before you really intend to turn. Nobody really knows what you're doing here is the last one people forward at a red light, and we ve all done but why? What do we? Really? that those extra inches will somehow pay off later when the light turns green and really p just laughing at you in that, something you should know

so, who doesn't want to be happy? We all want to be happy, but this happy come by chance or is it deliberate? Do happy people make a conscious effort to be happy or are, just that way. what about the science happiness has been studied a lot and and Perhaps there are some things we can take from that science and apply to our own lives to be happier for years, David Niven, has studied the research and publish several books about this, including one hundred simple secrets of happy people? One hundred simple secrets of happy families and several other books as well. He does. Is he translates the the scientific findings into practical actions that we can all take to be happier welcome David much mike it's a pleasure, So I think that everyone has heard that happy people in attending

optimistic that they that they have strong relationships. But beyond that one of the other things, one of the things that may be, we ve missed that happy people. Do we have a general. You know tendency to exaggerate the importance of what's happening immediately around us, and so you know everybody falls victim to all man, I'm stuck in traffic. This is the worst thing that ever happened: kind of kind. Thinking and the folks who argue on a on a on a kind of a healthier happier. Plane are able to to sort of step back from that a little bit and put that into perspective and not let those little frustrations that absolutely everybody encounters not let them stand for the day, not let them dominate their thinking, and you know that's one of the things that I think shocks people want to talk about your happiness. Research is you know the general notion that happy people have some kind of magical existence where they they float between. You know

a chocolate, sundaes and and and other delights, and in reality you know. Happy people get stuck in traffic and happy people, you know, have some unplug the co workers and happy people of all the same kinds of frustration, but their better at not letting those frustrations block out everything else that better at being able to put things in just a tiny bit of perspective to see say that you're, even if traffic is really frustrating, if not more important than the other twenty three and a half hours every day, and we all know people like that. But do you think, or does the science say that those people are why word that way or that's a deliberate thing that they try to do well. I think, there's, there's kind of a combination here. I think that, as we get smarter about the building blocks of a have a good life that people can see the way, the the path to that you know, I think some people are blessed to be wired that way and and they can

I can happily go about. You know, sort of shaking off the frustrations, and then you know a lot of us can can learn to approach things that way and I'll I'll. Give you a perfect example of the you're breaking a routine, no matter how trivial, no matter how small breaking a routine you know, contributes to have a positive outlook and a and a more creative approach to what you're doing so. So what does that mean? Well, if you eat the same sandwich, you know at lunch five days in a row break the routine. If you go to work, the exact same

Weigh every day break the routine go a slightly different way. If you know, if, if these are your, you know this is the the stuff that you wear to work. You know every monday break the routine and wear a different shirt. You know little things like that that anybody could learn and put into practice and all of a sudden contribute to a slightly more positive approach to what they're doing and- and so I think, I think the bottom line answer is it's both. It's there's some people who happened upon this. You know by you, know by nature and there's some people who happen upon a better approach to life by you know, by reading books, by by listening to your show by you, thinking through what do you know what they could do very easily? That would make them their lives just little better there. So much talk about the need for relationships, human contact, all of that, but why is that What is it that people get from that? That makes them happy what people everybody needs, including the introvert, what everybody need

is the human reinforcement. They need a sense of themselves relative to other humans that you know that that puts them in something of a positive light. So what does that mean? Well, I give you my favorite example of something tiny that will contribute to a positive outlook, and inherently human. Do something could be a minor is holding the door open. The next time you you're walking into a convenience or do something kind for someone and everyone I don't care. How introverted you are. Everyone gets this this this little.

King of pleasure, from this notion that even in the tiny lack it's a reinforcing notion that I'm a good person, look at that look what I have just done for somebody and you that's the kind of thing where you say relationships come at all different shapes and sizes. Families do personal lives do, but everybody has that need for that little bit of of reinforcing human contact. and that's why you know research is really not uniform on there's one thing that everybody needs except this. You know they need. They need that human reinforcement, no matter which way you access it and and the holding the door open, is just one little thing that happens to apply and work for absolutely everybody talk a bit about families in and what the secrets are for free

we used to get along with each other and and be happy as opposed to individuals. Well, you know again in the family dynamic what the research is is very clear on the incredible value of seeing something, that's larger than yourself and you know not being stymied by a winner. Take all of me: vs them mentality. You know the that the the key to to a fulfilling family life is. That is that capacity to to put yourself into that context, and so you know when you think about people who are arguing with each other one of the things that research finds his step away from that argument, you know for a few weeks or months, and a lot of people will forget what the actual subject was.

What you know what got us started on that argument, but everybody will remember the feelings that that came up during the argument, the feelings that you know that that you experienced that somebody was telling you how wrong you were, or you were saying how wrong they were. So the point of that is, you know, to be able to step back and see winning. The argument is actually not all that productive and thinking about the larger purpose of what you're doing is quite productive, and so you know that that very first step, you know, regardless of whether it's it's a love relationship or a parenting relations support or what that very first step is the biggest one is not interesting, and everyone has experienced that that when you recall that you had an argument with. someone in your family. You, and don't remember what it was about. You just remember how mad you were

you are upset, edward or the. You know how terrible you felt or how terrible you made them feel and and and that kind of feeling can you know, can last forever and it really does put into perspective. You know, relatively speaking, who took the garbage out is, is not that important, but you know who made someone feel loved there who made somebody feel unwelcome is, is everything, and so you know that kind of of understanding to be able to step back and and even as you're frustrated, to be able to see something bigger and something more important than the moment and again when it comes back to that that capacity to see something bigger than the moment, whether you know whether you stuck in traffic or whether you having an argument about whose turn it is to take out the trash it it. It is a true source of of a power and stability to be able to see something bigger.

My guess is David livin. He is the author of one hundred simple secrets of happy people, one hundred simple secrets of great relationships and other books about happiness. So David in all the research you ve done on all of this through all of these books. What are a few things But you found most surprising that the science says well I'll. Give you an example from more recent book called it's not about the shark, which is about solving problems, the gist of the of the research on this is kind of fascinating. If you start out focused on a problem that you're trying to solve, if you start out with a laser focus on the problem itself, you're less likely to be able to come up with a solution than if you start out thinking about what could I do about this situation? What could I do? What can I do to make this

or so, if you start off on focused on what's wrong: you're, never going to get past it, and this started as a as a research project. They showed engineers they showed engineers. A challenge, and these were in these were folks who are getting ready to go out to the world and an design, all kinds of products, and they

You know we want you to make the ultimate like rack for a car in the first group of engineers. This thing they gave him this task and they said here's how other engineers have failed at this. Here's where this is where they ve gone wrong and have been able to solve this and the second group they said, build a bike rack for the car. We want you to make it as best as you possibly can, and it didn't tell them anything about how other people had struggled. They didn't. They didn't say how this was hard and it turns out. The second group came up with vastly more ideas and better ideas for the bike rack and the difference was. The second group was trying to come up with the best idea possible in the first group of trying to solve the problem, and so that applies regardless of whether we are talking about personal lives.

Or professional lives. You know you start by working toward what you want, not working against what you don't want. If you can, if you can think through where, where do you actually want to be, rather than how do I solve this thing? I don't want you are going to be more creative and more passionate you're going to come up with better ideas and you're going to take this farther. So I mean that as a as a kind of a starting block for whatever it is you're encountering in life? I think, is it surprising to a lot of people, because I think our our tendency is, you know if there's a problem, then I'm going to I'm going to put all my effort into that problem. I'm going to focus on that and nothing else in the world and and that's actually the worst way, solve anything, and yet that is that is the problem. Solving way to fix. What's wrong

you're right and the bigger the problem, the harder you work at it, and- and so you know, the more important thing is that the worse it is, and this could be a problem at work. This could be a problem at home. You know the worse, it is the more you just you know. You redouble your efforts and, and the next thing you know you, you block out the sun with regard to what you would do, and you know I I it's not about the sharks and starts with an anecdote about Steven Spielberg, making the film jaws and it was his first major movie and it was incredibly critical you're, his professional future. If this failed, he was going to be a failure and he had spent most of the films budget on a mechanical shark and the endemic nickel shark for jaws didn't work. If you know it it puffed up

it looked like a giant, see marshmallow it didn't move when they told it to move it. Couldn't it couldn't many swimmers because it was, it was just a dead end, so he was looking at a whole host of another active options. He could try and build another shark, but there was no money for it. He could try to fix the shark, but he didn't have time to because the movie at all production had already begun. He had. If he had focused on, I have a broken shark. How am I gonna fix it? Jaws would never have been made and instead he focused on How can I make this movie as good as possible any hit upon the idea of for the most part? Don't

show the shark give people the chance to imagine the shark is coming for them. Let them fill it in, and so that's where he came up with that idea of the the camera being half above and half below the water and and using that music to suggest the shark is coming and that that idea is the whole magic of the movie. That's what it's remembered for and that's you know, that's why it became a classic and it was only possible because he didn't focus in on what am I going to do with a broken shark. Instead, he focused in on how do I make the best movie possible and that's really the approach whatever it is. You're up against that route actually produces great ideas. What else? What what? What that cause? That's a home run right there I mean that that could that's a game changer, but but, but what? but more of those kind of little insight.

would be cool, sure sure sure your here's, here's a good one. Optimists literally walking down the street spend less time looking down and pessimists spend more time looking down and- and so you know, here's a little thing, but it affects everything that you see and everything that you feel If you're? Looking down? You know, you're, seeing you know idle outcome on the sidewalk and and- and you know nothing, you know nothing of of any great hope and wonder if you're looking up the skies. You know the sky is welcoming you. The world is welcoming you you little things like this. You know that you do every day that you do all day. Long are reinforcing positive or negative feelings, and an regardless of

everything else. That's going on all the things that are outside of your control. You know, I think we underestimate. Sometimes the value of the things that are that are perfectly in our control, and so you know I would very much encourage folks. You know to to understand that you know that yes, there's going to be frustrations, but there are little things each day that you can do, You hold open that door, take a take, a look up at the sky and not just down at your shoes that are going to reinforce. You know positive feelings that you have about about everything in the open yourself up to positive experiences and not not leave you. You know kind of kind of I was off from things in that sounds good, but is there real science behind the there is there's real science behind it, and that's why I say you know some of these things yeah. I mentioned earlier that the don't wear the same, closed

every monday. There's there's real science behind this we've. You know the host of studies that have been done in this in this area, where a group will be encouraged to do you know to do one of these things.

Change their routine and then the scientists bring them in and give them a little task give them a little. You know like one of those word puzzle tests or creativity tests and the folks whose routine has been changed do better on these tasks. This there's real science behind it and you know I'll give you one of my favorite examples of of the shocking power of doing something. A little bit more pleasant. A group of researchers created a a medical file for a patient and it described an array of of simple symptoms and conditions that gave the file to to practicing physicians, and they said okay diagnosed this person and half the physicians. They gave them the file and and those instructions half the physicians. They gave them the file and a a chocolate bar, and so that literally the it was describing the same patient with the same conditions

and the chocolate bar doctors did better on the you know on the task. The chocolate bar doctors were more likely to successfully diagnose the patient. So what does that mean? A little bit of joy, a little a little momentary bit of joy and in these highly trained professionals live and all of a sudden they were better at what they're doing and that's why I say we have great great science on the power of these little actions that make you a little. More open to positive outcomes that make you a little bit more. You know open to trying harder that make you just a little bit more open to enjoying what you're doing and it can change. Everything though it is, listing, how we sort of squeeze the joy of life and in many ways at an end, yet putting it back in has real benefits. Besides just you know, feeling good, that's why I say,

it is along the lines of breaking out of of routines or breaking out of things that that kind of close you off. You know there is an enormous power in that you know in in seeing yourself, not simply, as you know, a widget, as you know, as another cog in in some larger larger machine, but but really taking some human moments into this. You know, and and on one level it sounds kind of frightening. That My doctor is going to do a better job figuring out, what's wrong with me, if if he or she has a chocolate bar before they see me, but on the other hand, you know that is really just testimony to the power of human feeling and that caring for the whole of ourselves is is actually every bit as important every bit as critical as as all the other things that we think of as the essence,

of providing and protecting for life that providing and protecting for that joy in and that human connection is every bit as critical as, as you know, as food and shelter. So it seems like the messages. Happiness takes a little work, but it's just a little work and that, with a little effort we I'll, be a lot happier David he's been my guest. He is a researcher and author of several books on happiness, including one hundred simple secrets of happy people and a hundred simple secrets of happy families and the book. He mentioned in our discussion. It's not about the shark. There's a link to him Page on amazon has all of his books about happiness in the shark and everything else in that's in the show notes for this episode. Thanks are being there David, my pleasure The grin for mass in school. was not my strong subject. I'll tell you that I like did. I just didn't get data, my brains, did work that way, but

Anyway, it left me and I suspect, a lot of other people with less than warm and fuzzy feeling about math engine rural and how many times have I said, and maybe you ve said back, then I'm I'm never gonna need to know this stuff well b, we miss something. Maybe math is more important and more fun than we realized back then here to make the cases their benjamin of professor of mathematics at harvey mud, college and author of the the magic of math and so, professor, you obviously or one of those people who feels differently about math than I did school. What's yours, fascination with math I've always loved numbers and math for for my entire life really but unfit Surely I've seen a trend where we spend more and more time in the classroom talking about fewer and fewer topics? And I think, unfortunately, we,

we ve left out a lot of fun and beautiful topics and mathematics and after my book is about wants you to learn. The math is important, but I you to love the math, which is not always the same as the methods being shown to us in school near well. Few people, I think, would think back to their schooldays and think man. Was fun, although some do but but it just you know, math is one of those things that people get through and complain they'll never need it later in life, and so so but the magic and so the magic, but only just do women talk about it. Let me do an example. For you go ago, think of a number of between twenty and a hundred since we're on the earth they twenty to fifty ok, and whatever number you're thinking of Abu digits together. So if you thought of forty two than for both to effects now take that total and trapped it from your original number. Okay. So so

you should be thinking of two digit number, that even you didn't know, you'd be thinking about an hour, add the digital that number together and if my magic Hours are working right now you should be thinking of the number nine europe Why does that always work at exactly will? First of all, I They asked me: why does it work which, as you know, magician wants to hear the audience say: wow how'd, you do it competition or a matter. Magician wants you to say wow that was more. How did you do that wider that work? and the basis for this magic here and I have a whole chapter on it on the magic of is based on the magic of the number nine and it goes to the fact that you learned an elementary school that the multiple

the nine nine eighteen, twenty seven, they all the property that their digit add two nine one, five, eight nine, two plus. And his nine alongside the mouth. What can be done using this fact of cod casting of nine that if a lot of fun. gimme another gimme another magical trick: aright, ok, here's what I want! I want you to think of a birthday like maybe your own birthday or somebody you know including the year. What what year you thinking of nineteen, fifty nine Nineteen, fifty nine in what month April April, what twelve twelve with a sunday believe it or not, demand that an app again. It's based on the facts. Calendar is mathematical. I mean maps around us every day, every date with just a little bit of practice.

You can do amazing things not just in your head, but I thought you know applying master to everyday problems, whether it be algebra geometry, trigonometry. The book even goes up the calculus, but also wants you to learn. You know the fun side of mass the mystery. the number pie, the fibonacci numbers, the magic of infinity. That's the last chapter: by the way, could you can't go beyond infinity? No, you can't So what is pie by the way and what? Why do we ended in? What? What's the point in and go ahead? Explain potter though so you see, but every time you see a circle, Then you you're really seeing pie. If you take a few minutes all around the circle, let's baby, I'm the rim, the glass and measured you take a tape measure

put it all around the rim of the glass. That's called the circumference and, if you, if you divide by the distance across the graph across the glass, that's called the diameter and no matter how big or small, absurd Call the circumference divided by the diameter is always this mysterious, the high a little bit over three three point, one for one: five, nine etc and it's it's a number that mathematicians have studied for thousands of years and we still and showing up it. Unexpected places, but why do we care? What is so? What why do we care? There are two reasons: one is it: is it certainly shows up in all branches. Mathematics I mean, if you look at say Not me, I'm not just when you're dealing with circles and glasses and circumferences, but also you know you look at the bell her that describes all kinds of distribution to show up in the natural sciences that based on it

the pie it shows up in probability. It shows up in geometry, but also its just a kind of a mysterious the writer. It's it's an irrational number, which means its decimals. Never repeat at some point: europe, the day will show up in the digits of pi max is kind of kind of beautiful and surprising and and yet there's also an answer to that is sometimes we like math, not just because we can apply it, but because it. kind of beautiful. Think of it like music. You know who I am sure you are covered applications. It can affect our moods and emotions, but its sometimes just pretty in an enjoyable to listen to and once the light bulbs get turn once you understand the why behind the mouth then them then it becomes very addictive and math can be just as fun of end of exciting at any art,

So respond to what my son tells me all the time that I'll never need no, this stuff later and give me an example of why? That's not true! Ok, what greatest fun in what he learning right now he's in fifth grade in their doing really simple algebra. Woman. I mean they're in fifth grade: you're learning about fractions percentages, decimal which probably things very abstract to him now, but but you as a working adult you death fractions, I mean to understand, moneyed, understand discounts to understand market share all those things I mean it is you know, and yet to a fifth greater things. Monsieur when my ever gonna use and then the next level up he's just starting to learn algebra in algebra? You learn the whole idea of abstraction now that the idea of letting a variable

represents an unknown quantity while he's gonna do something like say: programme computers. You have to be able to deal with that kind of abstraction. You have to be ready for any kind of input that to you It gives you and- and you learn about this idea of abstraction through algebra now I admit you may go through life and never have to solve the quadratic. Equation. I mean I'm a meal needed in your calculus class and other math classes, but you know as a working adult you probably don't need to know that, but by the thing is the math teaches you and trains you how to think logically carefully critically and even creatively. Can you give me sample, because you know that the nine thing is fun n figuring out what day of the year while the day of the week I should worry was but something practical that that people use math, four or five he's math, for if they knew how to do it, I would say things like

being able to estimate, say what your mortgage payment will be. If somebody tell you what the interest rate is or how many payments, however, it's gonna take for me to be able to come to pay off this loan. you know, whenever you take whenever you you, you take calculated risks every day. You know what time should I leave for the airport? I mean that's a question that is practical, and yet you don't wanna leave too early by you. Dont want to risk missing the plain and out of the bag. You understand now, the better you actually can do the calculation to make sensible life decision. and so the idea that you know will never use it again. As you said, it helps you become a better thinker too, by learning man right, editor,

I don't both anything that trains you to think more logically them than learning mathematics. But I also agree that you and your son have a valid question that the that you should ask the teachers which as well, going to use this and if the answer is you're gonna use, if only in a future math class, then I say save it for the future. Math class show me stuff. That's interesting! now and in my experience as a math professor, I find that students responded to two things. They respond to relevant, elegance either show the math it's real, that they can use in here for problems that they made them there. Just that now or that they might be interested in later or it doesn't matter, it's simply beautiful, just fun. I mean that magic trick that I showed you at the beginning, you're not going to build bridges out of that. But it's just something cool that excites the mind, and I think is that

Remember that we teach should be either relevant or elegant. If it's not, then saving, later, when it will be relevant with great. Well I, like Ass may be a little more than I used to still never be my favorite subjects, but but Do like a little more after listening to you. That's arthur Benjamin he's, a professor of mathematics at heart, mudd college and author of the book, the magic of mass theirs, to his book in the show notes for this episode the nobody knows that first impressions are important, but they may be more important than you realized, for instance people, and decide on your trustworthiness in as little as one tenth of a second In some research, a group of people was given one hundred milliseconds good milliseconds to write the attract this competence like ability.

Restiveness and trustworthiness of actors faces. Then they gave another group people as long as they wanted to rate the same thing, the same people and the rest we're very similar. It seems close matter in making a first impression in a survey. People wearing name brand clothes locker. And Tommy hill figure, to be precise. Those People were seen as having higher status and were perceived as well. Fear than people wearing non designer clothes when they approached aid shoppers in a more if you look at someone in the eye when you meet them your perceive to be smarter and you hold yourself, can express how religious you are one study university of california at berkeley found that a hundred and two three undergrad could accurately assess how religion a hundred and thirteen people were simply by looking at full body.

Photographs of those individuals. Those who have to be smiling, energetic, relaxed and neat were just to be more religious and in fact usually were than that something you should know. That's the podcast today mike her brothers thanks for listening to something you should know To talk about the ultimate smallville rewatch podcast below, we have a lot of fans. We have a lot of people that watch the show. We have a lot of people that still watch them, although they show up to the cons, are glorious, they're, awesome, they're, just loyal is the word. I guess I'm proud of the show so come on man, it's novel because now everybody's like arrow and this- and these are all great- shows- I'm not knocking the shows. I'm just saying: don't you remember us before the social media name may may catch up with season one or start season, two on youtube or wherever you listen,