Staying at home with nowhere to go can certainly put you in a bad mood. So this episode begins with some scientifically proven ways to improve your mood right away. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4234616/Six-ways-make-happier.html
Some people seem to just have that ability to just be likable. How do they do it? You are about to find out when you listen to my guest Nicholas Boothman, an expert on personal communication and author of the book How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less (https://amzn.to/2TYCK8J)
Hand sanitizer is hard to come by. But you can make your own without too much trouble. In this episode you will hear a simple recipe from a former CDC official to make effective, homemade hand sanitizer. And you can find that recipe here: https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-make-hand-sanitizer
Complaining is a problem – whether you are a complainer or you live with one. In fact, complaining makes you stupid and ruins your chances for success. Trevor Blake author of the book, Three Simple Steps (http://amzn.to/2rmLFUw) explains some of the science behind complaining and why being around a complainer can suck the life right out of you.
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Today, on something you should know, we start with some ways to improve your mood when you're stuck inside your house and can't go anywhere, then proven ways to get people to like you almost instantly in technical terms, the quality and quantity of the energy they give off. But it's basically that attitude to the only thing else, because you will answer to drive, you'll, be able drugs or the people's behaviour and also how to make a quick, easy and effective homemade hand sanitizing and the negative power of complaint. Why you should stop complaining and stop being around people who do it at a stamp? It show that if you expose yourself said minute complaining every day it difficult damaged rate people previously noted it around a complain that they feel the energy peeping out to them. What we now know, why advocated complaining in critical damage all this today on something you should know
are you currently enjoying the show on the stitched up? Then you need to know. Sticker is going away on august, twenty nine yup going away as in conflict, guy's, dead, rest in peace dinner and thanks for fifteen years of service to the pod cast community, so switch to another pine cast out then follow this show their apple spotify or wherever you listen.
something you should now fascinating in the world's top experts and practical advice you can use in your life, your life- something you should make rather is welcome to something you should know with all this sitting around, not having a lot to do. They know it's making a lot of people grumpy and upset in depressed, and so a psychologist is come up with several scientifically proven activities that can boost your mood almost instantly. First of all get up now
news, but no staying in bed till the very last. Second just get up
open the curtains and in the natural light and get your day going.
Listen to your favorite song. Scientists have found that listening to music chain,
Is the way we perceive the world for the better?
try to notice the good it's easier to focus on what's wrong, but do the opposite and it will bring. You joy, laugh
research shows that laughter, soothes tension, improves your immune system and even eases pain.
see a friend
There may be no get too close, but see a friend or talk to a friend, friends make you feel good and they are good for you.
and perform a random active kindness. It stimulates the release of endorphins and there's a strong relationship between this type of activity and increase
self esteem and self worth, and that
something you should know
You know how some people that you meet are just there
more likeable people are drawn to them? They have that insight.
report thing
so: how is it that they do that
could you do that.
Nicholas. Both men think so nicholas has been mastering personal communication strategies for quite a while.
and he is author of a book called how to make people like you in ninety seconds or less. I nicholas
Thank you good money, nice to taught here
So it's interesting when I think about women when I meet someone for the first time there is that that,
immediate judgment that immediate sense of whether I like that person or not right. That's what humans do we make that instant judgment
extent, right
The truth is that we decide that we feel about someone.
In the first two seconds of seeing them or hearing, but is on the phone.
As part of the fight of light respond. So didn't you kindly blade people for doing it. I mean you can't stop them
jumping to conclusions about you, but there's a lot you can do to too.
to adjust, how they feel about you and that idea that people like, I don't like you within the first few seconds, so what's going on there? What what makes that determination
Actually, the the fight or flight responses is for things in in in mammals its
we were actually set wits about safety. I must do I save an orbit, we're actually deciding do I do
I'll do I eat it? Do I mate with it? Do I find
did all do I run for it I mean those are basically what were deciding
and we just pick up signals from other people it
tell us how we feel about them, but there
people that you know that they don't make us necessarily want to run away, but there's another something about them. They're they're, not quite
kind of guy
you don't mean it, but it's not it's not like there. I want to run away from them
no absolutely book, but what does freak
out of me.
it's messages. Basically, we respond to that. The visual, the vocal and the verbal, in other words, when your voice tone your words and your body. Language, are all saying the same thing. We tend to trust you I mean that's what actors do they're very good at that?
What, if they're, not saying the same thing, you know if someone's smiling most are angry at you or looking I mean
had. I have people all the time, and I do my talks come up to me and I had a woman recently came up his hat in opal,
I have this problem much. My kids are all saying mom. Why are you so angry all the time she says? I'm not angry unexcited. So what you look angry,
and that was simply because the you know her body language and her words in a voice. Don't went all saying the same thing: that's what we that's! What freaks us out. You know those people that smile at you when they're angry at you, like you, know,
And so what is it that you? Because we all know those people that everybody is attracted to that that he would they walk into a room and and pretty soon everybody's around that? What is that.
First of all, I do get asked that allow and that's not exist.
Lila really happens that each other as some people that the
into a room that attracts people's attention, but are not suddenly all around them, but their people. They feel comfortable with their body. Language is giving off,
Basically it's what I talk about doing in the first two three seconds, seeing someone look him in the eye: smile, open, your body, language
and sink arise with the people around you and then look for common ground. When you see certain people in your tend to be attracted to,
I was out of fashion pajamas over twenty five years,
dad studios on three continents, and I mean I know. I know why.
You are attracted to models. It's things like that their faces and are symmetrical. That's a huge, a huge attraction when someone's is the symmetrical when they do eye contact. Look at simple as smiles as I'm happy and I'm confident I can
Access trust is in. The ad is quite simple things
When you want to make someone like you, I mean it, it almost sounds phony light psych. Do I really want to make someone like me? If, if they don't like me, they don't like me.
If cooperation is what you want, then
then there are certain things you can do it I just mentioned. Then look him in the eye. Smile open, your body, language
and they will start to feel trusting towards you
It happens in the first couple of seconds, but if it doesn't happen in the first couple of seconds, have you lost the opportunity or not.
it's difficult, it's difficult, we do, they look his
the bottom line. When people like you,
They tend to see the best in you
and what you represent, and we tend to look for opportunities to say yes to people that we like when we don't like them,
The opposite is true.
We tend to see the worst in all I'll get out of here now. You know you
A country's sank back away and we were weak, sometimes see their worst. If I like that,
you have a lot if the guy's jumpy all over the place- and I like him, is enthusiastically but don't like him is an idiot. You know if
Like the woman, she's, warm and she's. She she is she's. You know she's approachable, if I don't like her she's, dull and boring just by this. It's all the same body, language really, and so it does matter, because when we like
people, you don't eat and to see the best of his in his and that's really what is all about, and I in as it, but what we represent
I know that your people, who, having heard your programme attuned it, tune into the first couple of seconds that there are the same
I like this, the sky. All this. What else is on assistance is just
I say that, with the greatest of respect for you, you have the boys. I wish I knew of a super charismatic boys.
and etc, which is what you should tat will have after twenty minutes.
What about, though, because you say you know happens in the first few seconds that event when you open up a new body language and everything, but but it's also
your personality, your attitude, I mean what
I've seen people that look v?
appealing, and then you start to talk to me. Go, oh my god. You know what. So, what is that us talk about them?
was to focus.
That's it that's. The good news and bad news about face to face communication is you're a genius until you open your mouth, but the
fact that you said the word that the attitude the first,
thing, we respond to somebody else
in technical terms the quality and quantity of the energy they give off, but it
basically the attitude did you
Did you more than anything else that determines your success or failure? Because your attitude
not only drives you'll be able drives other people's behaviour. I mean, if you, if you came on the end now and you are angry, I would be-
responding in a defensive way or whatever what you sounded angry and but you sound completely cool togethers. Are you know it makes me respond in a certain way and that's but yeah
people all the time. Is it when people get to know me they really like me, but
your next door, neighbour and and your family. Nobody else who cannot escape you.
We know what it comes down to work or to dating it, doesnt cut it. What
This idea that people like p,
who were like them
well yeah bianca attracted to people are like ourselves,
we we like people who who
look, it's all about. Finding common ground will mean that the whole, the hope, the bottom line in a first impression is the fast
You can find common ground.
The quicker you could just relax into it, and so we tend to like people who, like ourselves, who have the same taste in I don't know holidays.
books, music, food.
We we we like them. We get on with them. They confide in. I, in my mind,
walks and into I do audiences uses of up to six thousand people quite irregularly, now get them on their feet now. Just sake find common ground,
in twenty seconds with somebody in you know they do it. They can t taken away both tables.
like the movie titanic. They ve got twins in the family. They both enjoy certain sports assumes that happens soon, as you find common ground
If you ve got it, you have made a great first impression what
good way to do that, though, when you, when you meet someone in you start talking to them, you can't say: well, let's find some common ground, so we can continue this conversation had he. How do you have that conversation so that the common ground reveals itself
I did. This is exactly the sunk under good money maker for years back when they said okay, so I walk into a roomful of strangers. Give me
I have tips on what to do, and I said well number one:
when you walk into room head for the middle of the room? Will no longer great clothes? More people take seriously, don't have to wear spectacular, close, but just
just for the occasion walk into the middle of the room as you walk into the middle of the room. Walk slowly was slowly
then I told about this
the three second rule, and are you you're probably at these one, these events to me
People also go up to people how'd you get people talking, you do
you: do you do what pollack cast as do or talk shows us do or journalists? Do you ask
an open question. You ask asked you make a statement followed by an open question, so
today? Show should okay. Well, what do you mean here? I say: ok,
I hear you're a fantastic place. Phony had half a day. What should I see? That's how you see,
think talking. You make a statement in. You asked me to open question. That's
he do with with anybody, make a statement about the occasion if you're not and if you're somewhere, where you're supposed to talk to people. We call
closed fields
could be an event. It could be a networking. They could be an interview like this. The intention
is that we talk to each other in
feels, which is slightly different, that there's a different way of talking to complete strangers
and, and talking to strangers is really. What am I been focusing on for the last couple of years in my talks because laughed ass man without talking to strangers and wearing a real mess as far as talking to strangers in the world right now,
I'm talking with nickel booth man, who has some very
full advice. His book is called how to make people like you in ninety seconds or less so
it was. Some people just seem to have that gift
It seems anyway that,
I can talk to strangers and make everybody feel comfortable
think that's true, or are they working at it? It just looks easy.
It just looks easy. I have five
children. They told later my kids, nice,
two hundred and twenty five, so I got three of them in their fifties and in a couple or later lighting in their forties, and they were they weren't all, naturally, and not
able to go up to complete strangers, dot accommodation, but they practice and we had.
little things that we debtors when there are growing up that made. One of my children in particular, who might have been other people, might have used the label. I
I absolutely abhor which is shy
I touch shy to somebody and that, but she could have been that way, but today she runs corporations in or out of norway and high tech corporations and networks all over the world, but only because
we showed how to do it may encourage them to do it the day, the first.
state, I told about my audiences. I asked them.
the professor
professor, Harold from Stanford busy,
school spent twenty years? Looking for what he called the success factor to
because all areas of the working and business and private life and it came up take.
the team with one thing which was there,
Hold the number one idea,
viable predictor of success.
And you know it was. It was
ability to speak up.
If you dont, speak up your invisible and that's what
eggs that all of the difference in these things
is it that is so interesting because an you had said just a few moments ago, you go into the centre of the room and talk to someone will too
people that's terrifying, just talk to someone, but but
people don't think they can do that.
Well, you know it here's something else, but I mean I'm, I'm I'm I'm slightly off on a tangent, but you know so we'll have to learn to have no confidence.
We were all born just to fears.
the fear of sudden loud noises and the fear of falling all there
the things we get scared about in this life, we had to learn that.
Fear is an ideal,
a lot of the time now, with I'm deal
working with local police force in that
but human trafficking and helping in that area. To you a little bit, I can to help
but you know a lot of it comes down to it, not having confidence. Confidence is a huge topic right now.
With digital distractions and political correctness in poland,
politics, we ve made strangest out of everybody, and the result is that of academic of anxiety and depression and anne. But
and the lack of confidence, but little confidence. It is,
they say, oh face your fears and do it anyway or war,
no fake it till you make it does, is to answer your question about going into a room talking to people. But the simple thing about confidence is that people who are come.
We are confident a comfortable with rejection and there
comfortable with failure. Just those two things so
I have some simple steps where anyone can get comfortable rejection and anyone can get comfortable with with faileth. That's what makes people lack caught the confidence and so to walk into a room and talk to people you just,
a couple of steps to explain to people that there's no such thing as failure, there's only feedback, the hollow
you're a is the
we learn to get better
and the whole idea of it. There's no such thing as rejection is only selection. Thank
god. When I was fifteen and used all my pocket money, don't have chacha lessons. I could get the girl for
a local hairdressing salon supposedly loving me, thank god. She rejected me, or I wouldn't be where I am today. You know so, and so those invisible signals, those things that you send off
make people say to themselves own. This is a likeable guy,
those are, what you will
contact is huge
What I tell people is when you meet some under the first time. Look me in the eye smile
open your body language and find common ground, but first
After just your attitude, and you have to adjust your attitude to like all. A really useful attitude is that of a ready, useless attitude. A really useful attitude could be welcoming. Calculus enthusiastic warm
really useless attitudes, are things like board. Rude
at hostile or appearing that way. A lot of people don't realize that arms folded looking at the ground when they're talking to you for the first time that they just come across as as hostile and
the first you just your attitude,
just before you even approach under or in walk into a room. We all do it when we walk into a room.
Are we what we should? We adjust our attitude to some something or other? It's you know, put a smile on your face and get on with it and and then I contact just noticed the color of the eyes.
the people it you're talking to us enough. I contact to set but trust in the air
I did. I did do some work for one of the the large automotive motive company by law, all of them, but in one of them the only go to the subject they now have on their worksheet and their technical in their service department. Customer's name customers address customers. Eye color just obliges the mechanic for a second to look
the eyes of the,
of the of the customer. That's his trust is in the air, a smile. Well, you have a natural smile or not
The smile says that person is happy and confident
I am not- everybody has a natural smile and not all professional models have a natural smile, but there's a trick. I learned from models when I was a photographer, they simply say they'll say to themselves the word great in bursts of three and stupid voices, great great, great, great, great, make a great when they on the set and eventually their eyes, a warm and they they looked at the smiling. You can say that to yourself
as your approach, somebody
an open, your body, languages means dinner, don't have arms folded across your chest.
in other words, that simply can almost point your heart at the heart of the person. Not there.
Stupid way, but just
exposure heart
and then and then
and then,
saying something
and it sir, it's perfectly normal to make a comment about why you I had an awful time parking today and what about you or isn't this
a place where no ability was just making statements. What do you mean
by talking in color well
It means that we, the system
He persuasive example other level of communication talking in color.
Means that we add sensory information to what we're talking about and when
get in
on my farm here? When I get?
briefings and cooperation. Sometimes I have been a conference following the president and the members of the board and those
talking, those a hi. How are you not say you know what I'm just looking at the window right now I can see the horse is coming up, the valley,
into their paddock,
as I'll say that within the first few moments- and there are already straight into their imaginations-
the talking color.
The three things really one of them is
adding sensory information to what are you talking about? You talk about the way
times only went on. How will you talk about the way
some of the things that you saw, some of the things that you heard
Maybe the smells. The tastes involve all the senses. We're hungry were desperate with desperate for stories.
Stories out of the human mind. What food in
fresh air out of the body. We just crave stories. That's what
bud gases is is others is the stories is getting into people's imaginations
About about talking color, the big part is being able to condense.
good things into simple image is one of the best people are doing this in the states is warren Buffett
he makes pictures stood to describe things when he was asked how he felt about his job?
He said I tat danced to work
thus talking color because people.
What kind of visual can see it
People who will sound auditory can hear it
people who were feeling better?
I can feel it
can feel that what it feels like when he was asked
to explain that
two thousand and eight financial burst? He said the tides gun out we can see, has been swimming naked.
Really great communicators, Steve jobs
all in all those guys. You see they may use metaphors all the time. They say it's kind of like that,
looking in color.
And it's very charisma. Look, but for those for the whole of your listen is old enough to remember cast
clay, mohammed Ali he's an endless led float like a butterfly sting like a b,
This life is about the cherries
this is absolutely beautiful forward.
for the binding for the minds of other people to the imagination, modulation is the strongest force. We possess it,
make sense. The boy you're saying and yet the it is so hard. It is hard for a lot of us to talk to people the way your talk
You just say hello to three people today, the strangers just may I make it you're going to get rejected three times. Keep doing
If you want to three times, nobody responds to you, that's all just adjustment,
No, I think I do. I worked with kids. I was interviewed fork internet cafe that I woke up to them and they
I've never been taught to talk today that we do not talk to strangers. You total strangers. You got no life.
You're doing life you're gonna be healthier, wealthier, smarter, wiser, richer.
The only way you're going to do it is by you're going to need a stranger's help to do that. But this one girl said welch said I mouth
people. I thought that's a great were as she's working by and usually forty just goes with it.
look away again
and that's how that learning to talk to strangers,
yeah. Well, I've always thought about this whole. Don't talk to strangers thing that it's not necessarily such a great idea, because, as you say, if you don't
two strangers and you don't learn how europe
Think of all the opportunities you're not getting
talking to strangers in just the right thing to do as a matter of survival,
everything we want in this life bit.
It's too. The rose bound to be on your shoulder. Have a great career
whatever the perfect partner you gonna need is changes, helped to get it. So
people, even if they told little children, doctor
strange. So the kick has lost in the modern, goes to hide summer, much better to say you get last going to or to another mummy
we're going to hold lady, be somebody behind the counter.
That's useful! It's about
that is a stranger danger. The sphere of strangers is unbelievable, Juno
the chances of a kid being kidnapped by a complete stranger and the united states that the blood latest available figures with its from two thousand sixty yards
the chance of your child being kid,
by a complete. Stranger is one in six hundred and seventy five thousand
And yet we tell em all don't talk
strangers
I've been to it and what have we got now? We have one,
generations of soft narcissistic decadent other photographed andred spied kids, because that is not their fault. It's the way they ve been brought up and brainwashed, but I like,
like your advice, because it's simple it's easy to follow, and I think people have a sense that its its proper
pretty effective. You just have to go out and try. It nicholas
the has been my guest. The book is how to make people like you in ninety seconds or less, and you will find a link to his book.
in the show notes thanks your being here nicholas
I'm really glad for. Thank you so much
You probably don't have to think too long or think about to many people in your life before you can come up with someone. You know to be a complainer
maybe even you complain a little more than you wish. You did or a little more than other people wish you did.
Interestingly, complaining is more than just annoying. There are some real serious consequences to complaining, both from being
complainer
and from having to listen to it here today.
Thus this is trevor. Blake trevor is an entrepreneur and author of several books, including three simple steps,
I trevor thanks for being here and so aside from being irritating to listen to. Why should we be concerned about all the
complaining going on well, two reasons thief
this new scientific data shows that the brain works more like
muffled that we previously thought for the more you repeat: the behaviour, the more you become that behaviour sophie surround yourself with a bunch of complainants them on,
you are to become a complaining itself, but that only half the story studied
stamford show that if you expose yourself to thirty minutes complaining every day, it does physical damage to the brain. It actually peels back the neurons in the part of the brain that we need.
I'll bet, you functioning problem solving and adapting to
changing circumstances? Will we live in
wherever the constantly changing. That's not what you want so people previously
does it around the complain that they feel the energy sleeping
furthermore, we found a website that is. That is the case. It complaining
physical damage that you really have to either removal
well from the source or shut off that source
that's pretty fastening, so complainers are making a stupid.
We're turning our brains to motion effect. I think that that people would like to think
and to some degree I think you noticed that some people are affected by that more than others. Other people can be around
complainers and there's a wall there in and it doesn't affect them, whereas other people, as you say you know it's just
the life right audio, that's right and I think it a good way to think about. It is the same as passive smoking. Some people seem to be
hey sitting around a smoker when they're, not a smoker and other people just can't stand to be in the same room as a smoker, and I I think, of complaining as passive smoking. I grew up
father with a chain smoking. It was like going up in smoke filled bloomer. I tried to check
behavior, but I fail to that. Could I was a kid and he was a father, though my only recourse
to actually move myself from that toxic environment and
go out into the pressure with the same complaint,
if you feel that it bothers you what you feel affected by it. You got but distance between yourself and the thought of that feeling
which is not always easy to do, because if they sit next to you
work or you married one, you're screwed,
that's true and have a real example. Now, because my my
Yes, I know my mother northward here that I am one of those unusual men that has nothing but good things to say
I just looked, and until we have a great relationship, but she lives in a place where she's surrounded by people of a similar age who are always complaining about their health and the fact the economy's going south and the pension doesn't go as far, and it was much better in the old days and when she comes to stay with us, she stays for three months well, for the first two weeks,
This was an old lady, come to the front door and the first word out of her mouth or complains about the food on the plane, or fact I drove too fast
the airport it the wet, is not by night and my
I have learned over the years that just completely ignore that don't respond to it, don't try to change the way she has just don't respond to it and to weaken to her her visit
like an alien came in and took them,
an old lady away and they replaced it with everybody's favorite grannie, and this is now somebody has incredible
more energy. Even I have and doesn't
any more than just see the good around all the time, so the transformation is remarkable, but it happens because the brain hard wise.
To whatever stimulus is getting so where she lived, she getting negative diminished all the time when she's
sit in a much more positive environment and the results can be seen both in iraq
food and in actual physical health,
and is she aware of what happened this? Could she consciously explain it the way you just did we do have to compensate?
that she ran the kitchen table on a regular basis and she's alive
of it, but when she goes back to
environment in europe and get back into those conversations with all
blue, complaining around to my wife, called,
every day when she gets back and
I can hardly tell from listening to the conversations that she slowly think then, to the other
with an old lady again and you get back into that complaining mentality because she's hard, I she she can't separate herself from those people around in her environmental, chooses not to and fro
brain hard, wise back into that away thinking. So if you
just ignore it. It goes away. Yes, if you can
ignore it then eminent.
You ignore the complaining, then you're, not exposing your brain to those complaints. You know it's not
to date, women at the it's easy to do if you have control over the source of that complaining. So
have a degree of control in our home over whether we pay attention.
bond a reactive anything with the army,
We are here from somebody's voice,
in the workplace is a morality, is less easy to ignore it, and you have to take a more critical reaction to it. So
you'll leave the room or take a bathroom break it, those sorts of things, but going back.
to your mother in law. What do you think would happen if she's if she arrived, there is kind of this complaining person and that's kind of her personality with you
let's say was also her personality when she's around someone else person be an around
You, though, over the course of time she
better and she stop complaining if she were to go next door to person be which he just
complaining all over again or would you have changed her internally it with
within her or just with you know, it's changes.
only within her for his love
if she allows allows that to happen. So if you went next door and had coffee which she does actually goes, next, don't have a coffee with her or our irish friend, And- and you know,
I have irish blood at me, so I can say this
add a shower typically a bunch of complainers. We have we enjoy complaining and, and the you know it I I see I can, if he's there for a couple of hours when she comes back, she will bring some of those complaints back with her and we have to respond the same way. We just ignore it. We smile, you know, shake it off and ignore it, but I'm afraid some people just just do not protect them.
ain't enough to avoid being immediately, we wyatt, I think, of the brain, is electric circuit. It needs it needs to find a source of power, and so we get it pays attention to whatever it feels as a new source of power. Unless you do something about that.
If complaining, has that effect on us. What else has
act on us like data mina are it makes it sound as if our our brains are pretty vulnerable too
side stimulus like what else where I think we have whoop
We live in a world where the constant noise around us and, of course, most of the noise these days is from the negative and sensational media.
around the set of that's a very strong source of complete
in negativity, and I know a lot of people who are obsessed with their thirty seconds of fox news and and they can't survive without it and that their death, because their brain is knows that that's the source of energy that is going to sew, and you know in three simple steps.
The step one is all about finding in inside yourself again the pioneering spirit we were born with. Will you
I fine find that spirit if you become a slave to the fashion of the trend that the tv in the newspapers of horror are implementing you with all the time and very often what grabs people's attention is something fearful. If we seek an example, we stop him a paralysed and we pay attention to it, and local media works on the other.
It is just a natural part of the way we live today that the media will throw out a sensational headline and it freezes us and we pay attention to it. You know you have to protect yourself from that
it's the same as you have to protect yourself from being surrounded by complainers
work the other way that, if you are around say really happy upbeat positive, optimistic people that that'll rub off just as well or does it only work in a negative way
I believe I do it in the end. The opposite way as well, because I have yet to meet us-
made man or woman who's, a complainer or whose fixated with daily news
the people who are outgoing and always looking forward, never looking back and if you
wikipedia autobiographies of people like,
you can't afford. You know it becomes quite clear, very early on in those autobiographies that these women
and who didn't really care about. What just happened five minutes ago, because it's in the history and so they're not going to
and was gone growed about what went wrong they're, looking always for the solution, oriented fascists and always looking forward
and so you can choose to take an approach on it and your life will reflect the result of that
knowing what you know me what what? What else can we know? The complaining thing is a great is a great example of of what you're talking about. But what else is it that you know that that I could use in my life like that? That would would help me well visible, the first step to be aware that complaining is affecting you all about you,
you, you may suddenly become aware that you know what I'd do watch a lot of my morning, news denied
get up in the morning a switch on my radio and listen to depressing information about the economy with. Maybe I should change
avian flu instead of getting up and doing that, maybe I'll get up and spend ten minutes by myself and just
wildly and just allow my brain to function is natural speed of light
and think about the day ahead. What I'm gonna do with buddy it's just changing up
and the baby makes a huge difference in outcome will itself
you know you, your brain is the result of what you put into it, that you know if you put stuff into it, that's
whiny uncomplaining, you you're a winner and a complainer. Yes, I think we become a reflection of the environment around us, so knowing that
that. That means you can make changes to turn. You yourself into some one else: yes, you can change if you change
a patent behaviour. Then you'll changes
How come the minutes? The simultaneous? He keep repeating
you'll be able to get the same results. Well, you have to make this very small
just in the way that you live in your have tremendous changes in the outcome, so the best example.
Examples would be that if you are striking
because europe theorizing credit card that, but you have a tendency to what
tv news that every five minutes
The commercial about credit card that solutions, you're just gonna, creating you mind this whole stress level of credit card that
Think about it all the time. So the way to change that is to selectively
those commercials from your stimuli and even when you credit card
come through the door instead of panicking about it.
say something out loud like when I'm free of credit card debt I'll buy myself
the champagne and pay for it in cash. You just changing
action, because in life is not what we think that important how we react, what we think will it is difficult to control what we think because often often instantaneous,
to something to stimulate that thought. So the only thing
on it. How we reacted, I thought, and as yet
little changes. I make a huge difference:
I can imagine somebody listening to you, though, and thinking well yeah. This all sounds good, but he doesn't have my life. I mean you know. I've got that credit card debt plus I just lost my job they're, going to foreclose on my house and changing my reaction isn't going to solve any of that
no and and day good arguments, and- and so I would say well, I'm living proof
All of that, because I grew up in there
or family. We were evicted three times before I was seven years old when, when I was eight
but it was given six month eleven. She was one of them.
inspirations in my life, because I was there when she,
through the kitchen window, looked up to the god,
guy, and she said, if you think, I'm coming now, you got another thing coming, I'm not leaving my children until they're all
fully grown and she held up
and she was a woman of a word. He fought against incredible chronic pain for fourteen years until we left the nest during that time.
My father- was unemployed the whole time we lived on welfare. It was quick hand me
and I found in all the both biographies of these successful self made men and women similar backroom. They most limit, started in where circumstances
and I would but I found myself in, but they found a way out, and so I did the same thing and I got out of quicksand and lived the life it adventure, but it all adventure the bump.
and at times on a bumpy adventure. I found myself in my eyes and credit card, that
but I found the way out about to doing exactly the same thing as I thought I had done to get out of the original quicksand. Three simple set to work, and you just have to apply that
at a situation you find yourself in and it will help you get out of the quicksand it'll. Give you the confidence to know that you can change everything. That's happened up to this point in time. Do you think, though, that that there's a
never expectation or a mentality today that, like you,
I said that you know life has got bumps in the road that people expect that if their life was really good, there would be no bumps that life. You know when we do read or see on tv about these wonderfully wealthy and famous people. It seems as if
life, is so care free and that that is what a good life is.
I know I think life would be boring if it was like that- and I you know I think I go back to it,
It's not what you think about the situation by europe to it that defines the collar.
of your life, so I've been
thirty years about a wonderful relationship adjoin that thirty years, my wife has been told she's got six month live now,
and the three times and she chose to,
active it differently than another
people who were around her in the hospital as well, who are getting say with similar prognosis, I was also given six months to live in nineteen. Eighty nine. I refused to believe that
I chose a different reaction if you like, so although my life has been an x
the adventure, the happy moments in it where there's been a challenge, is right. In my face
how to decide how to react to that and whenever I faces challenges, I go back to the recipe that is in three simple step:
and that is maintained. My individual opinion and thoughts be disciplined. So I have I keep my pioneering spirit. I find ways to create great ideas,
and and plans of action which is step to that allows me to react differently to the circumstances, and then I execute on that plan, which is that three, and it's always help me I'm in here. I am talking to you and I'm now, fifty and by healthy,
time. What am I to be acted differently? I wouldn't be here well, I think
people would react differently. I mean if, if somebody tells you you have six months to live too,
the act. The way you reacted is exceptional and I think difficult living most people would.
Just go the other way be very depressed and sad and and accept that that is a reality, and you know that's it. I think
people do. I obviously was given a fantastic, real life lesson by watching how my mother
though, was the situation in our she
she told her god that she wasn't dying and I believe that and the unsure
Belief is something that I also found in the light of all herself,
made men and women they just developed this uncheckable belief that, regardless of the circumstances that they find themselves,
they're going to find a way out and they always do not have I can you just
for I let you go. The the three simple
Can you just state them and just give a couple of sentence just like
or two sentences of what each one means that one
is about finding that pining spirit that we were all born with, but life and our environments tends to suppress over time. You don't get the basics
full by being a slave to other people's opinions and passions and trends. You get to be successful by having confidence in your own intuition to make us to make a good and strong decision for yourself. So in order to get to that individualism, you do have to
to be selective about why?
if your allowing to implement yourself so be selected with the media. Selective with the people use surround yourself with an you
find yourself gaining incredible control over your mentality. When that happens, step too
the thing I hear most often, if somebody telling me that they do
like a better life, was like to start a company. They want to change the way they are right now, but they just don't have any good.
The is to step two is all about putting itself in a position to have those moments of insight because
that one brilliant idea that separates the successful from the media, equity and there
The few techniques to get to that point, and that's
Most rewarding feedback. I get from the book is the people who take to heart step to just
so many fantastic ideas- and I liked your changes from being somewhat boring to being just an incredible adventure and then step three of how you take those great ideas
when you turn them into the reality of your experience, is important. Even you
he wanted to step in any order, just like you could use an ingredient that
You could use flower button and sugar by themselves, but
mix them together. You put the appropriate heat and provide energy behind it. Then it transformed- and
beautiful cake or the same thing with reasonable steps.
his together in the right order. It transformed life, and it's been about food blast, to watch how people life had been changed by this.
Your story is inspiring, and I love what you said about complaining.
Complainers trevor, blake
he's been my guest. His book is three simple steps. Ed you'll find a link to that book in the show.
votes for them,
episode
I'm sure you know you ve- probably experience that. Like other things, hand, sanitizing is hard to come by, but she can
make your own without a whole lot of trouble freely.
Here's what you do! It takes
three quarters of a cup of ice, propyl, alcohol or rubbing alcohol and that's
pretty much available in drug stores, then you
add to that a quarter cup of aloe vera gel, which helps keeps your hand smooth and to counteract the harshness of that alcohol
and then you just add like ten
ups of essential oil like lavender oil, or you can, even
use lemon juice and then you
with them all together in a bowl and
it turns into a gel the true
if you want to make sure you keep that two to one proportion of alcohol to vera which keeps the
alcohol content at around sixty percent you need to
two percent: that's the minimum needed to kill most germs occur.
Into the sea, the sea and the rest,
He comes from doktor rishi, decide who is chief medical officer of an organization called us Moses, he's a form,
epidemic, intelligence, service officer in the division of viral diseases, at the cdc and ethics
here, probably knows what he's talking about we'll put away.
up to the article that has this recipe in it, so you can go back and get it when you needed to make your own hand sanitize now, I'm sure
people in your life friends family who, like you, are probably sitting around without a whole lot to do. So. Let me suggest that you share this podcast with them. I'm sure,
appreciated and it'll engage them and help pass the time
carruthers thanks for listening today to something you should know,
welcome to talk about the ultimate smallville rewatch podcast. Look. We have a lot of fans. We have a lot of people that watch the show. A lot of people that still watch small builders show up to the cons are glorious, they're, awesome, they're, just loyal is the word. I guess I'm proud of the show so come on man, it's novel because now everybody's like arrow and this- and these are all great- shows- I'm not knocking the shows. I'm just saying: don't you remember us before the social media name may may catch up with season one or start season, two on youtube or wherever you listen.
Transcript generated on 2023-07-09.