What makes a good dancer? Some of it is subjective but there is one particular body part that seems to make all the difference. This episode begins with an explanation of the magic of good dancing. http://www.nature.com/articles/srep42435
How do you get to be the best at something? You might think those elite performers are just naturally gifted in some way. However, science says no. Anders Ericsson has been studying what it takes to get to the top of your game for several years and he joins me to discuss the surprising results. Anders is the author of the book Peak: Secrets of the New Science of Expertise. (https://amzn.to/3athIoj)
People disagree over whether vitamin C can do anything for a cold – but there is no disagreement over the benefits vitamin C offers when you are under stress. Listen as I explain what it does and how much you need to take to get the benefits. https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200304/vitamin-c-stress-buster
You’ve heard your whole life - “If you need help, all you have to do is ask!” Well that turns out to be more true than you probably ever imagined. Wayne Baker has spent a long time researching this. He is a professor of Business Administration & Faculty Director of the Center for Positive Organizations at the University of Michigan Ross School of Business. He is also author of the book All You Have to Do is Ask (https://amzn.to/2VMts12) and he joins me to explain the amazing power of asking for what you need.
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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Today on something you should know. Are you a good dancer, I'll explain, which body part makes all the difference? Then? How do you get to be the best at anything, whether it's your job or a sport like tennis, but just keep on playing connect with friends? We know it's not going to improve your ability where we can actually measure your performance, but in contrast, when you're working with a coach than with the substantial improvement, also
vitamin c may or may not do anything for coal, but it does wonders when you're under pressure
many of us are reluctant to ask for help when we need it and that
a big mistake. I'll always have someone take me aside and say you know, I'm not going to ask her what I really need, because I know no one here can help me and my answer is always the same, which is that you never know what people know or who they know until you ask most people, in fact, will help you, if you ask all
today on something you should know
are you currently enjoying the show on the stitched up, then you need to know. Sticker is going away on august, twenty nine yup going away as in conflict, guy's, dead, rest in peace dinner and thanks for fifteen years of service to the pod cast community, so switch to another pine cast out then follow this show their apple
spotify or wherever you listen.
something you should now fascinate again tell the world's top experts and practical advice you can use in your life to read something you should make, rather, as a welcome to something you should know, here's a question for you are you a good dancer
Judging how someone dances is at least partly subjective, but we do now have a pretty good idea of what may
for good dancing using
motion captured technology researchers turned real women into featureless
Dancing avatars and then showed the videos to two hundred people. A hundred and four
three women and
Fifty seven men, ages, eighteen and over by watch
the avatars, rather than watching actual women, the pretty
happens, work distracted by clothing, facial links
I shouldn't or hair they ve
raided, the moves and the big
inclusion was it's all about the hips
swaying, hips and dancing in sync, with the music. What
preferred bad,
answers tend to waive their arms about two wildly or they
hold their limbs really rigid and close to their bodies like dancing, robots dancing is fun,
but it also communicates a message. Good
answers are showing off qualities that people want in a mate such
coordination, strength and creativity.
It seems to be best expressed with the hips and that
is something you should know.
What does it take to be the best it something weather?
tennis, sir baseball chess math. Writing whatever are the very best people did
just have something innately better about them. Today they have some
the rest of us just don't have or is being the best
all about commitment and dedication in practice, or is,
whatever it is, undefinable an unidentified unidentifiable.
Well, it's something I've always wondered about, and my guest Anders Eriksson,
is someone who has made a career of study.
What makes the best performers the best he's author of a book called peak,
secrets of the new science of expertise. I anders welcome. I am looking forward to talking.
so when you look at whose the best one
Is it your looking for what what make someone the best? We really look for people who can do something that other people camp for that kind of requires that the people were studying a really able to do something that other people given the same sort of opportunities wouldn't be able to do so like for you,
ample up a chess player who is winning and beating all the other people. That person is actually able to do something that other people camp
and I guess what's fascinating to me- is that you can see now that the chess expert or master he's thinking about the positions in a much more deep way than less skilled players and his sort of able to find the best move by exploring all sorts of possibilities and then ending up identifying the the one move. That seems to be the best for a given chess position, and I think that is quite different from a lot of people who think of basic experts as being intuitive and not really understanding how they come up with their various actions. You know so it's very automatic, so
ethically that's where we have that extreme contrast between sort of the idea here that people just automate and are able to do things intuitively. You said at the beginning that you look at people who can do
something. Other people can't will if no one else,
and do it, then why are we even talking about it? Is it is it something people can learn to do and they just
or is it truly that these people do something that up
people can never do while our research,
Looking now at how these individuals who reads,
very high levels of performance, how they actually do things we ve now basically looked at the
the training that they engage them in order to develop these abilities here like, for example, if you basically look at very good tough players, they can actually play blindfold, so they don't really have to see the board to play a very good chess game,
They can basically do it in their heads sore interested in how do this kind of abilities here.
Mentally, representing these situations develop. And what is the kind of training that people have engaged in an order to basically be able to reach and execute this mouth?
activities and what we find is that no takes many many years, sometimes decades for people from the time they start, but to the time when they, actually
reach their pig performance. Does it always or are? There are some people who are just inherently
for whatever reason, they're just incredibly good at chess or incredibly
fast, runners or incredibly good at something, and they don't have
go through all this training? They just have it well, you know I've been looking for those kinds of people
and what I find in all of the cases where people suggests that individuals needed much less time more, that once you more careful and look at what they were doing, I think there is an alternative explanation here that in this really developed there is one a kind of general question that I have tried to address it.
couple of papers, and that is that when you start out of a beginner now you can actually find that some individuals, when they start playing chess, they seem to be kind of
her for being no kind of a beginner, but what s interesting is that when you actually are now looking at very skilled chest players like up international masters, there's basically no evidence here that I q or cognitive abilities or other kinds of things. I can really explain
sort of the differences in their performance, so you're saying that that in the realm of beginners that their will,
be some people who have more natural ability in the beginning of learning, to play chess or being a better runner or or why
ever. It is, but the battle
yet you so far, if you really want to move into the realm of master the best that takes
something else that takes those hours days months years of of training is so what is it that
happens during all that training that man,
It's a master, a master. Well, all research in it was focused in on instrumental musicians and- and I think in that domain it's very clear that nobody plays the violin that sort of the highest level. So you can win competitions for violin playing without having had a very long history or have teachers, and what we find is that you know as children, sometimes as early as you know, four years of age, you know they start now. Kind of practicing may be only like fifteen twenty minutes per day and then eventually, as they get more skilled, they increase their practice.
We estimated, basically how much time the top level of necessity that we identified in a music academy in one the average they had spent ten thousand hours, basically in this kind of individual practice of solitary practice where they were basically relying on their teachers, a recommendation about what they should try to change and improve, and what kind of training activities they could use to effectively. Do that in chess there's similar results, namely there. That seems that the activity that is the key that is predictive of how good a chess play you are, if you're playing in chess tournaments, which means that you know you obviously are a little bit better than the average chess player was not even competing. But among those
players we find that the amount of time that people put in in solitary practice and typically what they do is get a book from an international kind of chess game and instead of just reading what people are doing, you know they can almost simulate playing against these world class players. So that means that you can try to figure out what you would do and then you can actually look what the international master did as a way here of getting feedback about whether you're in alive,
so what the best move was was the best one, and today we have now achieved computers that are actually even better at finding the best moves than human players, and so
Oh, and in that ten thousand hours I mean that's. No Malcolm Gladwell wrote a whole book about that. But but, and was criticized, though, because there
also people who practise ten thousand hours and don't do it so so
it isn't just the time, there's something else going on, because some people can do the same thing over time and be the best and other.
people will do the same thing over time and not be the best of your action.
Looking now at individuals who are being supervised and and kind of guided by a teacher, that's a very different type of practice. So when people talk about practice, you know I I've talked to mew to teachers, who said you know next year, I'll be have taught here for ten thousand hours, so I'm going to be an expert. Basically just doing your job is very, very different from what we're talking about
deliberate practice, because normal practice means that a teacher is looking at what it is that you can do and now identified something that you can do.
and then giving you exercises that would allow you now to change that and in most jobs, where people refer to what they're doing as practice, they very rarely get immediate feedback. They don't have the opportunities hero. Once I see something going wrong that they actually have to deal with that problem, as opposed to being able now, when they're practicing by themselves, if they make a mistake, they can actually repeat and gradually refine what they're doing so they can actually change that performance. A lot of people who play tennis-
recognise that if they were to commit to working with a coach that they could actually be substantially better than they are currently the death keep on playing tennis with your friends are we know it's not going to improve your ability when we can actually measure your performance, but in contrast, when you worked with a coach than with these substantial improvement and a most of that change happens when
the individuals are working on practising by themselves, but knowing now what they should be working on by basically having been told by their teacher
we're talking about what it takes to be the very best at anything? And my guess is Anders ericsson he's the,
author of the book peak secrets,
of the new science of expertise.
So Anders is
you're saying that, if you want to be the
Instead, something basically go get a coach. That is the first advice that I give to people, and that's been a number contacting me. You know they want to maybe learn how to play a musical instrum.
or or something like that, and what I think is a key here is that you find a teacher who is actually work with other individuals. So you can actually see for yourself that this teacher has been successful and helping other individuals reach the level of performance that you want to reach an end,
obviously need to have that validation of a teacher, because obviously it somebody claiming to be a teacher wouldn't be convincing here that they actually have the knowledge, so they can help individuals improved.
The level that you aspire to reach, but when you look at the top tennis players, the top athletes in anything, if you look at the
probably the top musicians anywhere, they all have coaches, they all have teachers, but they'd
all get to the top. So there has to be something about just innate ability. Doesn't there
You know I've been looking for evidence for inability and I think it very clear that when it comes to basically huh,
and actually more generally the length the bones. We don't really know any training process like an actually increase the length of bones and her thing lay. We know that for kenneth players, the arm that they're playing how the racket in is going to how much thicker bones, so the thickness of the bones can actually be influenced thou by
kind of vibrations that are being generated when you hit the ball and- and I guess my feeling is that I've been trying to summarize the research on genetics- is that
it's possible that we will eventually find some in a constraint, but so far, even with a new, you know basically studies here of mapping the entire genome or even people within that field,
I have to agree that the least right now we don't know of any genes that we can individually pinpoint as being necessary here to reach the highest level of performance. What about, though
and this is perhaps especially true with kids, who will pick up the guitar and teach themselves or will
really good, at tennis on their own or really good at chess on their own. They don't have a teacher. They just get good. Is that
it's, not innate ability and isn't that perhaps an indication that if this person
keeps going they'll get better and better. The problem is that
no looking at individuals who acquire their performance by themselves without now this enow individualised feedback from attacks?
it. It's likely that they are kind of learning incorrect things. So it's a basically I've talked a lot of coaches in sports who say that that's the worst thing that they encounter as the fourteen year old coming to them
and quite successful and then basically they look at how that individual is doing it and they have to tell that kid that it in their experience, if they don't
burned a year, re learning the fundamentals, so they can actually do
in a way that, in the very best people are doing it, that they are basically gonna be constrained in there
women's that even in something as simple as typing speed, you can actually see how people allocate fingers to the keys on the keyboard actual predict how fast somebody can type- and there are some mapping that we know are the best, but if you dont spontaneously or through instruction acquire those.
it's going to be a limiting factor for how good you can get. Doesn't it often happen or doesn't it sometimes happen, or maybe it's just a myth that when people
do things differently in a way that
Other champions? Don't do them. I can think of you know the way base
all players, will stand in the batter spock's in they. Have these really weird stances that nobody stands like that, but they do fine, or you know, when the first tennis,
player started, hitting a two handed back hand and people probably thought well, that's you can't do that. That's crazy!
but it turns out it actually, for some people works really well that that that
their pioneers more than their doing it wrong, and I think that's a very good point that obvious
people who pioneered various activities and became sort of very successful well before there was any teachers available. What they found out by themselves obviously was very successful. I guess the particularly long distance running now. Everyone recognises that interval training is a very effective way even to improve your speed and long distance running.
Basically, there was one athlete who can have discovered that by himself and eventually people realise that power
The reason why he was so incredibly good, one
study engaged in this type of training activity, so that is
The message here is it: if you really want to be good at something you need to have a culture,
teacher a mentor somebody they can guide you as opposed to try to do it yourself,
Well, I would love to see basically examples that are inconsistent with that. Now. Obviously
The comes to new domain fear video game.
or whatever,
be any really teachers, because the very best people are the
Sir, currently now come competing and probably wouldn't be all that interested in advising their competitors about what they think. They know about the game that
people don't yell. Video games are a great example of of there's. No one teaching it so much is you just have to wait?
learn to do it and put in the time to do it and some people get better at it.
Others, so that would seem to be
innate ability, but if it
So brings up another thing, and that is love of what you're doing and video games are an example of.
people not only love it big hagen addicted, do it but
the people who get really good at it, really do love what their due
and I would imagine that's true of anything that, if you're going
to be really good at it. You can
really like it. Well, I think that's a big question air about whether the love comes before or after you're successful,
I don't know whether you know of examples here where people love something, but a really thinking out at me. It's more kind of love is a word that people use for
your commitment and I've seen that an athlete were basically have been
warming other reasonably good level. But then they basically say ok
I have two more years that I can play this game. I'm going to give it my all, I'm going to see here how good I can get and that changes everything changes their sleep habits. It changes basically their priorities in terms of them going to practice when they're, really, you know full of energy as opposed to try to squeeze it in and compromising you know, having practice being compromise.
by going to parties or having all sorts of other social interactions. So what you're saying is counter intuitive, I think for many people, but some might even say it's revolutionary.
That you're saying that people who play at the time
of their game. Whatever the game is work or sports or whatever it is that they are at the top.
Game, not because natural ability got them their natural
ability only gets you so far into the game, but to get to the top, the very top that requires practice with a culture
teacher who is correcting you and helping you improve your game and its
made ability will- and I guess that that actually is good news, because if you have an innate explanation runners
Not very much could learn here from studying somebody without an eight, unattainable, basically ability or capacity, and that is why I basically take the view
I have no problem with innate differences. Like when it comes to hype and length of bones, but I need to see the evidence as opposed to take the view that at least some people that I talked to they say it's so obvious- it has to be genes, but when you ask them in a what is the empirical evidence and and how
even be able to predict how somebody is gonna be good? Does now, research is showing that the coordination between your performance as a swimmer when you're twelve thirteen,
on correlated with your ability of an adult swimmer. Well, it real
makes you stop and think, because I think, generally speaking,
people believe that the reason people get to be the best at whatever is because
of their natural ability.
And you have some science that says otherwise. That makes you really stop and think
guest has been anders ericsson. These
a career out of studying what makes the best performers the best performers and he's
of the book peak secret.
Have the new science of expertise you'll find a linked about
book at amazon, and the show notes thanks anders thanked MIKE,
a real pleasure,
the
something I've always find. Interesting is how so many of us are reluctant to ask for help when we need it, for whatever reason
yet when people ask me for help, I'm usually willing and often
uttered that somebody asked as it turned
out getting good at asking for help, can really accelerate your success at anything way
baker is somebody who's really studied. This wayne is perfect.
of business, administration and faculty director for the centre-
her positive organizations at the university of Michigan ross school of business, and these author of the book
we have to do is ask I way thanks for being again,
today on something you should know, I mike I'm glad to be here
So this all sounds incredibly ridiculously simple. If you need
I'll. Be you ask for help? Everybody knows that. So why is a university professors studying this in writing books about something that is so
seemingly simple,
sound simple, but it's often hard for people to do and the ring.
and that is important for people to ask for what they need is eight could be much more productive. Efficient, creative performance
higher level. Everything about it, one way to approach
Work is to put our heads down and just the work at that task, but we can be far more effective if we reach out and asked for in
good advice and resources from other people. The research is very clear that that's what leads to superior performance for an individual for it
or even for an organization, and why don't we do that? It is
it seems like well. If we have to ask for help
Maybe that means we don't know what we're doing we ll look week, will look stupid or or is there something beyond that
There are a number of reasons in the when you just mentioned, is one of the main ones, as that often
You don't ask because we are concerned that we might look foolish needy, incompetent, weak ignorant, don't gotta, do our job
But what is interesting is that here the real
urges helpful researchers
That is, as you make a thoughtful request, people were
you you're more competent, not less
and there is an approach that I advocate for coming up with a thought for requesting when you followed that I see that people make requests that are effective
and get the resources that they need and actually increase perceptions of that person's competence and when you
get the research. What is the big over arching benefit to asking for help with the main thing?
that you can be much more effective and productive? If you do it and what
found over the years. Is that the?
barrier to generosity is not the people are unwilling or unable to help, but the people don't ask its. They ask that's it
had a litter, the driver of the whole giving receiving process a so it another common barrier. Is that we
Don't ask us we figure. No one can help us and
I'd done many exercises in but many sessions on this over the years and
always have some would take me cited, say you know, I'm not gonna ask for what are really need, because I know no one here can help me in
I answer is always the same, which is that you never know what people know or who they know until you ask and so
important realises that most people, in fact, will help you, if you ask, is that true, fascinating study that was done by four
flynn and associates,
columbia university, where
a they asked study participants to go it to go out into new york city and then to approach a stranger and ask
to borrow a cell phone and all they could say was. Can I buy
self on to make a call. They couldn't give assent
story or explain or plead and is funny make that a lot of us. The people who signed up for it said
Forget it I'm not good evening and participate in this expert
what's the realise what they had to do and they were getting paid as well, but another people did they went out and
they were shocked to realize
easy it was to get a cell from from a stranger in new york, eight know they thought maybe to have asked for five ten people before I got a phone
but what do we say shows is that the first or second person that lend you their phone- and there are many other studies that support that finding getting people to fill it
questionnaire make a donation could go on and on most people do want to help.
as long as you ask when people ask me for help, I'm often flatter
and willing to help. I mean I I like when people ask me to help so imaginable.
people do too. That's right. That's what the research shows that people come to
for advice, are acknowledging that you have advice, that's worthy. You know that they want to come to become
you're the expert or that you know and they're acknowledging that when they make that request so,
Imagine there is a right way to ask: there's a prescription for how
to ask whether the main prescription is to be prepared. Before you make your request, say one and all
what's the goal, what are you trying to accomplish and then
Once you have that enhance able. What's the resource that you need anything?
We broadly maybe its advice, information, referral, a connection and,
maternity, a brain stem
session financial support
goes on an odd but think. Okay, if via their goal,
and mine? I what
source that I need,
and then you want to formulate what I call a smart request. The smart request, his look different than smart goals. So there s this for specific. You want to ask for something very specific. The reason is that a specific request triggers people's memories of what they know and who they know. A general request won't do that,
The press, the most general request ever heard, was from an executive from the netherlands who is engaging in one of my exercises, and he said my request is for information.
and that's all he said, that's a walk. Nor can you elaborate, and he said no- it's confidential. I can't say anything more in a while. He got no help whatsoever, but you know it's: it's people often think that a general request is more effective, you're casting a wide net, but that's not true. You want to asked for something specific
the m- and this is very different than the emperor sparkles, which is measurable measure ability is nice, but here the m,
meaningful. It's the. Why of the request in a house is gonna
you do your job better or to help your boss meet his or her objection.
so how's it aligned with the organisations, goals and objectives the areas for action? You ask for something to be done: the r
is strategically realistic. I encourage people to make stretch, requests
but it's gotta be within the realm of possibility and then the tea is time or deadline. You have to have a deadline and the more specific that deadline.
The better. If you say, oh, sometimes, twenty twenty, that's less likely to motivate people to rest
but few saying I really needed by and a business on friday
and here is why that will motivate people to respond
How much asking is is enough or or how much is too much, because you don't want to be the guy where people are going? Oh, you know here comes Bob he's going to be asking for more, because all you're doing is asking that's a very good question. It is possible to ask too often and it's possible to not ask
often enough, so we want to be somewhere in the middle ground, and there is this four types of people that I've
And we ve done research to show that this is the case. The main,
position. You wanna be the main role as an individual or a team or even organization, is what I call the giver request her that someone who was generous, who freely helps other people, doesn't keep track of, who helps whom it's not about keeping score and they make requests from when they need something the the opposite of the of the giver request. Her would be the
When was the person who doesn't ask the person, doesn't give as part of the most tragic role to have because you're, just disconnected from the
world you're, not gonna, giving you're not helping you're, not asking for what you need.
The most common category there are for the most common category is what I call the overly generous giver and that's a person
was extremely generous, but does it asked for what they need and that leads to burn out in the
stream it could lead to compromising once resources were not taken care of oneself and
The remedy there is to substantiate the book boundaries
around your generosity and balance it by asking when,
have something that you need and then the fourth type, which is the opposite
the overly generous giver. Is this offers taker
person that you were thinking about before they see that,
im coming in to say: ok there and ask for something else are not going to help anyone ever friend of mine. I described this to he used to be a consultant. He said. Oh, we called those people,
sponges. You know they just suck in everything and they never give a thing back. So most people
in the overly generous category, but the most effective people are in the giver request her category?
and I would imagine that you want to be careful not to look weak,
why not you know, I don't know how to die? Need some help. Do I don't know what to do that that that that that doesn't play? Well. Yes, absolutely that's when I think back on that
this is of no use to communicate to the person and to do it. You know at a time and a place in a method of good communication that works for the person who say, look: here's what I'm trying to accomplish
here's, the resource that I think about those five smart criteria.
In explaining why it's important whites meaningful when you needed by thus much much more. Like that's a strong request. That's an effective request! That's not a whining request!
Sometimes people go through that preparation process. They realise that the resource that they thought they did it
not what they really needed or the person they thought they needed to ask was not the person is. So I encourage people, that's the last process. The last step in the process is who do you ask
No, you addressed me. No, we always think of the usual suspects. Those are the people are in our our friends,
Only coworkers two people right around this is sometimes that's the right person. Sometimes it's gotta be the boss. It you gotta, ask but encourage people
beyond that, so there's another way, as called the two step or two degree method, which is that
I might not know who the expert is, but I know who to ask who knows where the expert is
a colleague of mine who
I'm coming in
atrium trim and innovation entrepreneurship space and he
use that to step method. He tommy keeps track of a hundred and eighty times in one year to another,
noble success. Another is to use our dormant connections at dormant connection is something that you once had a really
ship with, but your lies have gone in different directions. Now we might be very reluctant to try to re activated dormant connection like through linked in
but the here the research is helpful, because richard says that most of your dormant connections are delighted to hear from you again.
And they are delighted that you reactivating the connection and they want to help and there
even better sources of help, because your lies and got in different directions? That means
what they know and who they know is really quite different from europe, what
bends, though, when you ask someone for help and and and
Their advice is horrible and and youth. You know that's like the dumbest thing you ever heard of wool
Do you then not incorporate there
advice and and and not upset them yeah. I think it's important to express gratitude for help that is offered even, if turns out, not to be the best help, or maybe it's the first help. You know the person that least tried,
I think it's important to do that. Isn't it interesting? I guess it's just cultural that this idea of asking for help is is so.
just so not natural and and yet it's it's like how like
and men are often accused of. This of you know not asking for direct
it's when they are trying to get somewhere, although now you don't really need them, but men for a long time have been accused of you. You really just ask that guy how to get to the the street, and and yet when people ask have asked,
for directions. I voice always happy to help flattered to help I'm busy bike and help this person. It's it's.
I don't know why we don't get that why we we we dont mind giving help, but we're so reluctant to ask for it.
I think we can blame herb educational system for part of that. Much
students growing up most kids growing up here, you're taught to focus on your work. Take your test by yourself.
It's all about individual achievement in individual performance and thus
you get rewarded
and so in a locker reinforces the idea that
You really should ask for help. In fact, in a
educational context. Asking for help is sometimes consider cheating. But the fact is that we know the work
the team sport would you get into an organization? Is a team sport and
the only way to be effective is to overcome the reluctance to ask for what you need
I don't know how you whenever measure this, but when people ask for help
generally speaking, is the help. All that great it in other words, is, is
benefit of this because you get inside that you didn't wooden otherwise have because this per
it had something brilliant to say or is it that it just helps to create a better atmosphere or both? I think it's both, but you want to think about what you can ask for.
as including lots of things so going to so many asking for advice or input or review on a report. That's you know, that's one thing, but sometimes what you need is a connection or a referral. That's a different kind of help.
People can give. Sometimes you need it. Oh social support,
or its financial resources. If that's what you need to ask for a good
that you need sponsorship. Sponsorship to be a part of
program, or perhaps you need a mentor that something else you can ask for, so it all comes back to
What's the goal, what are you trying to accomplish
then? What are the resources and there's you probably an endless list of the
sources that are possible, say one thing throughout
about. We know what is it that you really need to accomplish that goal? What you know occurred
into one of the reasons that I think people are reluctant to ask, and it depends on what you're asking for is. Is you know the fear of of being rejected being told? No, no figure it go. You do know, I'm not going to help you
but probably doesn't happen anywhere near as much as people fear. Will it doesn't happen,
often as you would fear, that's for sure, but it does happen sometimes and so is appalling.
Think about what new? What is a no really mean? Maybe the person was just having a bad day or they wanna help, but the timing was bad or who
Those is that you really don't know why someone says no could be a whole number of things,
is to realize it had. No is information.
no. So sometimes you could follow up with ok,
fine, I understand, but perhaps could you say
could you explain a little bit so I could come up with a you know, better request,
next time. I has somebody and ass. Sometimes the explanation,
for the no is something you didn't expect at all something completely different.
So think of a no as information that you can use to find a request to make europe a more effective one later on, but it seems pretty clear that review.
hell, probably the simplest, easy
the most effective way to get it is to ask.
I appreciate you sharing your work wayne,
acre has been my guest. He is a professor of business administration and faculty director of the centre for
Positive organizations at the universe
the of michigan ros school of business, the name of his boy
is all you have to do is ask, and you will find a linked to that book in the show us thanks when
This has been wonderful. I've enjoyed our conversation. Thank you,
the
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Transcript generated on 2023-07-09.