I want to give you a quick preview of what airing today on doktor phil, taken next, DR phil, the story that made national headlines the media dubbed diane, the squatter nanny. Now, on the DR phil stage, she said he laid around and did nothing that's a bald faced lie. Mother and daddy. Did you try to drive around yelling at me and told me? I was a dog. Have you ever been evaluated? Do you have any mental issues? You are a malicious person. Dr phil check. Your local listings and for more on today's tv, epic, so log onto doktor, filled out com blog is just another day. I get them to three and sixty five days in the year and january. First, just like any other day. So why did we make resolutions on this day? Well, no, it marks the beginning of a new year. So if you're gonna take stock, it decide to change something or some things. Why not do it? at the beginning of a calendar year. A lot of people do

Marilyn Monroe back in the day, resolve to go to acting class and never ever met John Mayer said: this resolution was to be more thoughtful in considering news. Reality said: stop shopping and quit being late Amy humor resolve to rally women to support each other. Michelle obama resolve to remember that it's ok to tell people know and bill Murray resolve to make more resolutions when I started out by talking about new year's resolutions- and I don't think they're all bad by the way. Actually, I was rings research recently that says people who try to have a goal of thing they wanna do comply. to those who

actually make it commit, let make a resolution. Does it The resolution are like: ten times more likely to achieve it, then those just kind of have the goal in their head. No, they didn't mean. Resolutions are a great way, get things done, but your team more likely to do it. If you at least make a resolution to do it, then just having Then your head so resolutions if their done right can be good, as opposed to is having an awareness. Awareness is like nothing. You dont get anything done. I was really is about where this whole idea of resolution started. So I was doing some research on a couple months ago and it acts we started like bore thousand years ago. The Babylonians were the ones it started this now for them new year's was in march not january. They had hagen gods, and this was a time that they set up to say: ok,

we're going to resolve that the new year starts now for them in march, and they're gonna pay off their debts and retiring anything they had borrowed from their neighbours. Don't give, had lawnmowers back then, but they still borrowed stuff and if they kept those resolutions. The idea was that the gods would smile on them during the year and if they didn't pay off their debts in return things they had borrowed, then things would go badly forum that wasn't good, so they want to keep those resolutions nan like teen bc, Julius Caesar started playing with it I wonder, and s when the new year started to be in january or janis as they referred to it there, and that was it who faced god and the idea was the one face- looked back what had happened previous year and why looked forward. They started. Megan resolutions about how they want to change things from the year before

and in a seventeen forty, John wesley, who was, I guess, the father of methodism started it as a sort of the spirit the thing to fight all of the traditions of just getting drunk on new year's eve, so that's kind of where it began the end, but he had think we've had forth thousand years to practise this that we would little better at it than we are, but we're not. If you to see how many people keep the resolutions. It varies from like eight percent keep em. some say as many as forty six percent keep them either way, it's really poor, If you're gonna make em. I want you to keep em somewhere to talk about how to actually set ago and make it that, let's talk about this for a minute about half

the people, forty one, forty five percent, make new year's resolutions the reason. I say that I really hate him, even though they don't have a great success rate is even though this is arbitrary, I'm for any day that you sit down and take stock and say hey. I think I want a better job. I think I wanna be better person, a better mother, a better father, the bed citizen, a better me. I think time you sit down and take stock and say hey. What can I do better? That's a good thing. I think we did it remove something we did it once a week or what era early would be a bad idea, but the fact that we set inside a day out of the year to do it hell. Why not have those that fail? It's interesting! Fifty two percent of the people predict they'll succeed in as few as eight percent, do succeed asset as high as forty six percent? In some studies it says they succeed, but

less than half thirty five They say that they will make because it was unrealistic, they something up that they couldn't get there. It was just too high a go the third of them say they just don't track it about a quarter of it is for god they intended to do it. They just forgot ten percent say that, set to day are many and they couldn't keep up with it. So we're gonna keep you from make an all those mistakes. Have you made a new year's resolution? Let me ask you that think about it. right now. Have you made a new year's resolution and what was it the tin, Most common you'd probably make list out? People are eight health you get more organised learn a new skill or a hobby live life to the fullest want to save more and spend less than one quit smoking they want.

spend more time with friends and family lesson. you're bad, I'm just saying what they are we're travel more, they want in their job performance they want to exercise more, live more healthy and here's a problem with if there is a problem with them is caught a hard to measure some of these things. You want a more healthy. I need something like saving more and lasses actually measurable. You could actually measure that, but If you're gonna set ago, you to be measurable right, but before we get into setting what your actual girls are. Let me talk to you here. I want you to do now, They were just talking about new year's resolution. I don't care about that. I can watch doktor fill this afternoon. so I'm just gonna turn out of this woman and listen to music. While I'm walking nano hang with.

here is my talk to you about something that I really want you to listen to cause. This is for you. This is for you. I want to talk to you for it's about. Setting yourself up for success in twenty twenty three before you do anything else, and I'm going to tell you a couple of things that can change your life this year. There's not anybody today you can listen to that is going to give you. Facts that I'm going to give you right now that can have a bigger impact on your life. Now know that sounds egotistical for me to say it's not that I haven't been into stuff. I just collected the information to give it to you, so you can make some differences in the biggest mistake in life. As you think you have time and you don't time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it

You can't keep it, but you can spend it and what is law you can't get it back. Time is a really unique commodity. Think about it. You can't get it back. You can only, but you can spend it and is the one thing you can create. More of you can make me. Money. You can gather more stuff. Is it all saying you're the one with the most toys that the and winds? Now you can't have more time. So I want to talk to you about your time. You may think you have time, but you don't you don't have time to picture relationships. You don't have time to bond with your children. You don't have time to do the things that you think you're gonna get

and two you don't have time. So I want to talk to you about how to maximize the time that you have and to do that I've got to get you to be. As a efficient, as you can possibly be. If this is on time a year that we take stock, that we step back and say, am I making them stay out of my life? The unless use this time. This is it have this one time this one year and you are the only you that will ever exist You may share the name, anita colony, Betty Bob, we somebody else, but you are they. only you that will ever exist, there will never be another you in the history of the world. It is you- and this is the only time ever gonna. Be here. So are you making the most of it and I'm gonna bet you. The answer is no.

The answer is no. You are not making the most of it, and I want to change that, for you starting right now want to change it for you right now, and I want to give you a couple of things that make a huge difference and here's the first one Research tells us this is him. miracle research that check me. This by the way you gotta, google, there, you gotta machine in front of you back at me on this stuff. The american psychological association and many others have done studies. If you stop multitasking. Your efficiency goes up at least forty percent. Forty percent think about that. What if, during the last year, with all the things that you ve had to do, what, if you could have Gotten forty percent more done in the last year, your performance at work could have increased, forty percent everything you tried to do

even during the holiday season could have gone up. Forty percent, if your productivity I've gotta go at forty percent and then your policy attitude added thirty percent intellectual power on top of that You ve become dynamo, think about that efficiency went up at least forty percent and you're cognitive power went up thirty percent all of a sudden, you become a dynamo and think of the air. Gives you not. Everybody in america is listening to me right now, but you are. You are. keeping your body and shape, is important, but it is also important to keep your mind sharp in the year right and keep training. Your brain inward collect work is my new favorite game. It's a word puzzle, app that improves your spelling and it's free work. Work starts easy, but it gets

harder as you get better and actually respond to your play style and strength, a funny relaxing way to keep your mind sharp and grow you're vocabulary to pass the time where they are waiting to meet santa or in line at the airport. I love play word collect because playing word games and hustles can improve I get a function in the brain mindlessly scrolling through social media and train your brain, while relaxing just go to apple or google store and search for word collect sylvia. me and want to end twenty twenty three with a bang download word collect for free today.

Dear santa. All I want for christmas is the time to appreciate the holiday spirit, to revel in the old family traditions and savory, delicious foods surrounded by loved ones. To do all that had all need several of food cities, freshly prepared party trays, their handmade candies, all the fresh produce and certified angus beef hand cut by their real butchers on second thought. Santa I got this because nobody does food or the holidays like food city, so cognitive ability, Thirty percent efficiency goes at forty percent. All of a sudden people are looking to you think. What, in the world happened to them, they're on fire. Nobody would talk to you about the goes you said yet. The resolutions you set up is trying to get you programme to lie. it up. Think about that. Now you just go to whip whalemen. Multitasking is a skill there are.

maybe one one and a half per cent of people in america that can effectively multitask. Well, let's make an agreed Let's assume that age, you ok, let's assume. eight that one one and a half percent, let's assume not one of those people that can multitask effectively and you may think you are, and employers are so foolish? I look at some of these postings on job Sites elliot says: are you is this. Are you good at that? Are you a good multitasker there? Actually, interesting that, like it's a positive, they want you to be able to. juggle, ten balls at one time their shooting themselves in the foot they bring you in and try to get you to do three or four jobs? Thinking that they're going to knock out upon

They got. One person do for job; no, they don't. They got one person fumbling, because they're trying to do three or four years Let me tell you why that is by the way, I'm not going to bore you with a bunch of details. My friend sanjay gupta who's, the medical expert for cnn, describes it pretty well, he says you ve got certain parts of your brain that deal with certain task and when were you switch from one task to another task, your brain. he has to decide gauge from the elements which using perform those task switch over to the other parts of the brain, that are engaged with a new task and it has to adapt, any engage and that takes several minutes to do

and then when it finally gets up to speed, and so you start using that party, your brain in those parts of the brain that are engaged with. Maybe a numerical task versus a physical task and it gets up to speed it takes maybe five minutes to get to peek efficiency there. Now they come and say: well, here's a third thing you need to do so about the time you're gettin up to speed there. You pull off that and now your answer in an email over here, which is a baby, is an age issue so that you gotta switch over to something else. So now that part of the brains gotta get up to speed net takes time now you gotta go back to task. so the brain s figure out where we leave off over here

We got a reengage and the brains got to get back up to speed there. It's like a jet engine. It's got a spool up because it takes time, and so every time you switch from one thing to another, the brain doesn't just jump in at full speed. It has to read the situation, engage, start ramping up. We just don't do that instantaneously. It takes time, and it's also fatiguing, it shouldn't be called multitasking. It should be called multi taxing. Does it taxes, your brain and you get fatigued so Will you go to your desk and you sit down and you deal with six. Seventh things before you get to what you went back there to do. You know one priority by the time you get you down. One priority you're fatigued, so don't bring your best self to what you went back there to do to begin with it was somebody

Since I have you got a couple minutes, you know what your answer should be Actually I don't I'm so I'm in the middle of something. Where can I call? you when I finish this. That has two elements to one is learning how to say no in oh and to how to And your relationships because they don't care you're in the middle of they'll, come take too much so your time which actually cost you fifteen or twenty minutes to disengage from You were doing deal with what they're doing, which never turned out to be too many. And then re engage with something that you were doing before or move on to something else. So you have learned no. Actually, I don't I'm in the middle of something right near. Where can I call you when I get free. You need to learn to control your relationships and learn to say no, that's part of not falling in the trap of multitasking so

What am I getting out here? You thought we were going to talk about. new year's resolutions and we're not to that yet are we be? what I want to do is get you ready to deal with this before you start d, with goals or resolutions, because if I don't you're not. Your best self you're, not being your best self. That's what. want you to do is get ready to approach whatever you're going to approach being your best self coach, MIKE bair says that be our best selfless put our best foot forward. Well, that's what I'm wanting you to do here now. There's one more thing: you gotta do this stuff consciously purposefully. I said before.

It's not enough to raise your awareness, you have to make a definite commitment to be who you are on purpose b who you are on purpose. You can't get up and just react to whatever the world slings your way, each and every day you to be who you are on purpose now that requires you too, have a serious conversation with yourself and it wires you to write some things down I d get down versus just thinking about it, but a whole different level. It bring some objectivity to the situation and you don't forget You remember, I said some people said they don't do their wrestle.

Since guess I just forget, they get busy multitasking and they forget. Oh, I forgot I was going to say no to people. I forgot I was going to do this. I forgot gotta was going to that. No, You need to write this down. You need to put it on your screen saver or whatever be who I am on purpose, be pro active, don't be reactive b, who you are on purpose and the second part That story is, I want you to star in your own life. I want you to decide when you are who you are on purpose. That is a starring role in your own life, we'll get to that at another time, maybe even today, but I want you to decide you're going to have to do this, consciously This work will finish talking here in a minute and then gonna have to decide. Ok. What am I going to do with this and, like I said, the big

mistaken life. As you think you have time, you don't have time. I want you to start. today, not tomorrow, the next day or the next day. The next time, you probably heard me, say a hundred times, you a defined the people in your life that matter to you and make sure they know how you feel before the sun sets today Why do I always say that I say it because you don't know how much time you or they have left in this world. You, god forbid goodbye. over there before I finish the citizens I could fall over did before finishing, since your loved ones could vault. don't know how much time you have so do it now

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It goes down in the eagle down in deal twenty one plus in president tennessee found on a pregame which require the only come down to the first deposit required bonuses issued a snob drop. A bonus expires, seven days after receipt, sequel terms of bandwidth, dot, com, slash sportsbook, candy from coffee, tea and red line, one eight hundred, eight, eight, nine, nine, seven, eight nine, the things I'm asking you to change. Do it now, I'm asking you to take a positive, optimistic attitude, find things to be positive, about, find things to be optimistic about. It will increase your cognitive efficiency, stop multitasking, which means you have to take control of your schedule. Your agenda, the things that you're focused on willpower is a myth. People go on diets and they say well. Why did you? Why did you fail? Well, as she doesn't have the willpower

willpower is a myth. It's a myth because it's emotionally driven and emotions are what they're fickle they change they come. They go you're up, you're down your list that you think, okay, I'm going to I'm going to lose thirty pounds. Okay and you're all pumped up about it january. First, then it comes middle of February and it's cold outside and it's warm in bed and you don't want to go jog or go the gym and will powers category on. So, what's the substitute for willpower, programming programming, you have to set up your environment to support the things that you want to do. That means, if you have things that you are. Meeting to change. You have to set your environment up, so it cues you triggers you. Re

mind. You supports you to do it I'll. Give you a good example right now, Now I ve been working on a shoulder that I had surgery on not terribly long ago, and I've got small, dumb bill on my desk. Why? Well I've got this dumbo on my desk here. I've got it on my desk at this the get one addressing my studio. I've got one in the din here. I've got one of these everywhere that I spend time and have a few minutes I've, gotta, Jim upstairs and I can go in there and work out and I do but If I'm here and I'm what a video that I need for the show or I'm reading something and I've. a few minutes. Then I can pick this up.

Do the things I need to do while I'm watching that, and you would be astounded, How many sets I can get in dirt the day when I just have a few men. Now you say women. Are you multitasking and doktor feel? No, I'm not multitasking. I'm! U in dead time, when I wouldn't have time to go up to the gym, but I'm just here my desk and I am waiting to do this waiting to do that, waiting for something to load I've got some time that I don't have time to go up to the gym. I might be in a suit, I might be not in any kind of Jim clothes, but these are key who's. That remind me what I need to do, and I set my environment up to make it really easy to do it instead of really hard to do it, and if you decide hey

I want to work out instead of come home at the end of the day and go in the kitchen an graze around then I would tell you you said your environment up by doing what will first off you take your work out clothes with you to work, so you can stop at the gm on the way home. You don't have to come home and have the pool of the comfort of home, where you are fighting that impulse to stay there you? Have it where you can go while you're out and about knew so well, I come through the kitchen open the refrigerator door, I stare into it nah. You know. I start nibbling on this nibbling on that. Will you know what park your car go out to door go around and come in the front door. Don't go through the kitchen set. Your pants

upset your environment up where it supports you. Rather than temp pew. You set your environment up for success. You put notes around you put things around like this dumb bail, so you haven't where it's easy and it pulls for success rather than temptation if you want to quit smell king then rid yourself of everything in your environment that makes it easy to smoke, obviously rid of all your cigarettes get rid of all your ashtrays. If you get him from of ending this, go down a different hallway at work. What ever you have to do

use your environment, to support what you're doing now. So far we haven't talked about any goals. I've just talk about you, I'm talking about you deciding. What can I do to be the most effective person that I can possibly be, and it has to do so far with your attitude, we ve talked about how you can be smarter, how could be more efficient, how you can program yourself for success, and I've talked to you about the reality of time. At a wants you six months from now said well, if I had just, if I had just look, If I, if those are the middle to letters of the word life, don't spend your life focused on. If you wanna do del focus on air and

You may say. Look I hear you doctor feels very motivational. I get it, but that's just not me we were all somebody else. Yesterday we are evolving people we were all somebody else yesterday. The past is just that. It's the past. That's why the rearview mirror is small in the windshield on your car is big. The past is passed. The future is wide open. You decide what you're gonna be. As I said, if you do make a resolution, if you do set a specific go, you are much more likely to achieve it and if it is caught in your mind, say I'd like to do better at that.

Why, because once you write it down, that's action. Oriented it's moving, you towards a girl, that's the first step, you're in motion. You ve got momentum and, as you know, momentum is a tendency for objects in motion to remain in motion and inertia is a tendency for objects at rest to remain at rest. If you just thinkin about it, you're not in motion, you you'll have any moment we haven't written anything now you have done anything. So it's important. If you have a resolution, you have ago write it down. write it down, it needs to meet certain characteristics, and here are the characteristics it needs to be measurable. It is doing a good to say I wanna be happier well. What's that mean?

I need to operationalize that what does happy mean you want to smile, more cry, less be more active whatever it means define it. It's gotta be measurable in some way. If you say I want to be more active, you could define that in terms that want to walk ten thousand steps today, then you get a step countered and say ok Did it so you go has to be measurable? Second, you need to define the steps that you need to take to get from where you are now to that guy, we don't have to leap tall buildings in a single bound, so all changes add up to big differences across time. Let's say what are your goals is to lose weight will listen if you lose a pound a week, a half a pound a week, a pound and a half a week over

six months that adds up if you lose a pound a week for the night, twenty six weeks as twenty six pounds and here's the thing you might want to be more, but that forty six weeks is gonna go by whether you're doing something about your weight or not. Like I said time, the biggest mistake we make. We think we have time that six weeks has gone by whether you're doing something you're, not you might as well be doing something. A third important characteristic. Is you ve gotta, give yourself some add a girl's samantha boys when you do something

And you achieve one of those interval steps, pat yourself on the back, say hey! I did that I got it done. If one of your goals is, I want to go back and get my associate degree or whatever. Then, if step one is I need to get my high school transcripts, I need to write to my high school get copies of my transcripts. If that's your goal this week and you write that letter and you send it off, then say hey, I got that done. I did that. If your goal next week is to contact the community college and find out what their start dates are and what the curriculums are and you get those catalogs give yourself credit, you got that done in a third week, you get those transcripts and you fill out that application and you attach them and you deliver it out. There give yourself credit for that. Have you gotten your associates degree yet know, but

you ve taken steps towards it and you can't get there till you do that. Give yourself credit ago has to have a timeline. Some day is not a day of the week. I've looked at my calendar. It's got monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday friday. There sunday. Some day is not on their. You gotta be specific, you gotta have a timeline and you ve got to have accountability, somebody that you trust somebody that wants you to succeed, set up with them and say every wednesday every friday or every sunday. I want you to check in with me and hold me accountable and if I didn't get,

and what I said I was going to get done. I want you to look me in the eye and say what was more important than doing. What was your number one priority? I want you to hold my feet to the fire and you need to have patience and you need to have forgiveness. This is not going to be a success only journey, so when you screw up when you run it off in a ditch, that's not an excuse to quit. That is You to get back up there and close the gap. I'm trying to give you some straight up rules here.

And here's one of the rules have faith in yourself and the interest in those who earn it have faith in yourself. That's who you can trust issue is who you go with bis based on faith, everybody else. They need to earn it now. I was raised up in a baptist church in the bible belt and we were give people benefit of the doubt. That's insane, certainly in this day and time with a transient society, but we don't really know people. When I grew up, we weren't very transient society. You knew everything in the neighbourhood of anybody that wasn't supposed to be.

they stuck out like a sore thumb, because we were very transient. We went to school two blocks away, nobody moved everybody was there so, like some strain a stranger danger showed up. You do go wrong here. Even then, it didn't make sense. Give people benefit of the doubt. Why would you do that and you think and will not feel it's awful harsh? No, it's not. you shouldn't judge them is bad either about say in their guilty till proven innocent up saying what you should do is gather information Gather data until you have enough to make an informed decision, you dont give somebody the benefit of the doubt. You don't let them in your life, you don't love

in their money. You don't do all of these things, because it's a nice thing to do. Are you kidding me? You need to gather enough data until you can make an informed decision, see him in enough different situations circumstances, try a little something and see how it works and if they show themselves to be trustworthy at that level, then go to the next level a play. Tennis a lot- and I have some friends that our tennis, france, and I trust them- is tennis rand's, a hundred percent, and what does that mean? It means if I make a date to play tennis with them, I expect them and trust that they will show up one hundred percent of the time. They will not stand me up. They will not be an hour late when they get there, they won't be a jerk. and argue over line calls in part b of their lose interest

balls around or whatever they'll be pleasant, will laugh and compete and have a good time. I trust that that's what will happen, but that doesn't mean I take them home. It doesn't mean I go into business with them. It doesn't mean I confide in them family secrets. I trust him. A hundred percent at the level of the tennis friend, it doesn't mean that they can't be more than that they just aren't yet, and maybe they will be, maybe they won't and they probably trust me the same way as like you know, he's a good tennis fan. He shows up every time he's pleasant. He doesn't cheat, he doesn't argue line calls he plays hard every time and we laugh and have a good time and then we get in our cars and leave that doesn't mean that they

Can make a decision about my overall morality or my politics or how would be as a business partner? That's not relevant if they were going to take it to the next level, they would need to gain more information. Do that have friends at a certain level and then, if they ratchet up, you need more information Don't give people the benefit of the doubt. Some people are loyal to you and so People are loyal to their need, for you and when the need changes, soldiers, loyalty. Like they may need you for some workers the reason and then, if they change jobs, you're no longer relevant, they don't care. They were loyal to their need for you not to you, pay attention to people's motive.

Why are they doing what they are doing. Pay attention to whether people seem to be entitled or if their accountable you want. go in your circle who own what they do. They don't Sit around asking what you can do for them or what the world can do for them. Decide who you want to populate your space with. Have the courage to cut ties party your image is set boundaries. That's why I was talking about that because. I want you to go. You know what I've got a bit of passenger in my life, people that are in my life or in my life, because they just were their associates. Are there they just kind of stayed there? No, no! No! We're not going to be that way anymore. We're not going to have people there, just because they're going

their day just because they were there. Yesterday they were, they are sick. They were there they before they're gonna, be there today, because you choose for them to be there you're going to be you, purpose and part of that major going to choose your friends on purpose. Your. Choose your relationships. Upper reaches a blocking it Jews. My mother, I can't use my that no, but you can choose what internship you have with them. You can choose how much of a part of your life- they are an here, this real clear You don't have to react every time you can, but this does it sound like a big one, but this is a big

you don't have to react every time, you have a justifiable reason to be offended just because you can be offended, does it mean you must be offended? And, oh, my god, are we a bunch of offended people in this day and time sums offending everybody? You don't have to be offended because you can be it's ok to let somethin slide pick your battles, your battles. In the last podcast. I was talking about a paralegal.

And I said, let me tell you something about this girl. Some people would get offended that I referred to her as a girl instead of a woman. Why am anything by that is just a newer? I worked with for twenty years when I first met her. She was eighteen, she was a girl. I was twenty years older than her, just in my mind, a fixture in that level and nobody said anything about it. Nobody got offended about that, but some people would get offended about that. Why you called her a girl, she's, a woman. I know she's, a woman she's, a girl and a matter, and I kind of

Except my mind and of us are today I'd say: hey girl, just our relationship, you don't have to get offended every time you can find a hook to get offended pick your battles and it's ok to let something slide. You dont have to be a twenty four. Seven warrior you just don't have to be. You can be proud of its important to you. Okay, that's the battle! You pick but understand every time your sister, your brother, your mother, your friend, they know where your buttons are and everytime they push one of them. Thanksgiving, easter dinner is not the time to solve your family problems. You can't let it slide if it's important enough that it needs solving

will still be important next wednesday. You don't need to solve at easter sunday at dinner. If it's really important, it will be important. wednesday and you can call them and resolve it. Then it doesn't have to be resolved just because she hoped you at easter dinner. This don't take the bait be in control of yourself. You don't have to react. Every time you get poked, drink control yourself. You say that a thank you were no. Thank you! It's so nice. When you are in control, I have laughed with people that have jerk me around so bad. You wouldn't believe it. they think I dont know if, because of their their laugh with them, because that's not

that'll. I want to pick without pick the battle. I will pick the battle. I will pick the battle field. I will pick the battle time and I will pick the battle weapons. I'm not gonna. Let them choose all that by poking me at a party. We may have this battle, but when we do, I will pick it. I will pick the time the place, Both the weapons of the imo do olympic and they don't get to pick out there. They may stand there and think. Has no idea of what I've done and that's just fine, like I said, keep cards close to invest.

They may think, oh boy, I've pulled one over on him, no, no, they haven't and when it comes time for them to know they all know. But it's not here at my friend's wedding. That is not the time. Do this will deal with this another time because I have of control that I can pick another day another time, because somebody else agenda is more important than my own and I have enough control to do that, and so do you. You just haven't necessarily put that on your to do list. So that's what I mean when I say clean up your social circle and you people that may sabotage you and, like I said, you'd call me a sum bitch, but you're gonna. Do it long distance, as you know,

will be in my inner circle? If you don't have my best interest at heart, you go stand over there across the street and throw rocks at me, but you're not going to hit me With one stand behind me, if I know that's who you are you're going over, there. and if you don't, I will, but I'm not going to have people in my social circle that are gonna stab me in the back, and neither should you we talked about cleaning up your habits. The main one is just multitasking. What other habits do you need to put on your list? What do you do? That is not in your best

Just make a list check, it twice ask yourself: why you're doing this? What's your pay off? You don't do things in pattern. If you don't get a payoff, though I just want you to identify what is it you do? That is not in your best interest that you don't want to do any more and that's very important for you to identify, because I really want you to resolve that you are going to be you on purpose. That's what I said at the top of this conversation. Remember I started our conversation last time was saying: decide who you are. What's your image, one of the things that defined yourself images the right to have boundaries? Remember that that's what I mean when I say you

aid to be you on purpose. You need to be you on purpose. You need to decide. This is who I am I choose it I own it. I purposely execute this. I make no excuses for This is the horse. I'm writing. Will it evolve? Will it be a better horse, the moral than it was today, of course, we're all somebody different today than we were. yesterday, but that doesn't mean at the core. You don't know who you are. I know who I am- I accept two I am I start

in my own life, you mark twain, said it really well. He said the two most important days of your life for the day you were born and the day you find out. Why isn't that profound? The two most important days of your life are the day you were born and a day you find out. Why that's what I mean when I say be you on purpose, find out. Why figure it out, claim it own it. That's what I mean when I said be uni being essential, be relevant, don't just be be unique matter. Where you are, don't you speak

furniture become meaningful, be in this world in such a way that if you weren't there it would matter. I do not want to be in this world in such a way that, if I didn't show up, nobody would miss me. I don't want that to be my existence in this world, whereas, like I'll show up for seven or eight days, and somebody goes waste where's, DR van bitter epsomite days, I didn't even miss him. I want somebody to miss me, the minute I'm gone or start looking at we right now. If auto show up, don't you don't you want to be were like hey hold on week at oh, we can't go without him, leading him to be years like I want to be the pilot on the plane pleasure by gets otherwise will limit pilots here we can go. I want to be a sick joke to this mission.

In florida, where I will be in a role of the pilot like you, we can't go with that pilot hold on. We can't leave without him be essential Figure yourself out a robe, be who you are on purpose. Mark TWAIN was right the day you boys pretty important, he would be here and the other day is that you find out. Why why you were born doubt remember. I said that the secret to success is to those things that other people don't know it as a matter of its as apparent does matter of its work, wherever you are. You need to be essential. I talk to you last week about knowing who you are knowing what currency is and stretching yourself

And that means getting out your comfort zone. That doesn't mean. That is, gonna always be a success. Only journey. It's not I'm, not telling you that when you stretch yourself you're not going to fall and skin your knees as you're not going to do a face plant, but I'm gonna read your quote from Theodore. Roosevelt you've heard it before you probably just haven't thought about it for a long time. So I'm not reading something you haven't read before, but I want us to focus on it. Listen carefully. You've heard it. It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong

Stumbles or where the doer deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena whose face is marred by dust and swear. And blood who strives valiantly who airs who comes up short again and again, because there is no for without error in shortcoming, but who does act We strive to do the deed, who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions, whose Himself in a worthy cause who, at the best knows in the and the triumph of high achievement and who, at worst, if he fails at least fails wild daring, greatly so that his play shall never be with those cold and timid souls who

ever no victory nor defeat, it's not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better, not that person it sit back and throws rocks that counts. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood. That's where the credit belongs. The man who is in the arena.

and by man here he means human, not male or female. He means human, whose face is marred by blood, sweat and dust. Booze strives valiantly who comes up short, who does actually strive to do the deeds The one that gets in there and mix it up who in the ear nose high achievement or if he fails at least he fails while daring greatly he's not talking about somebody sitting on the sideline he's not talking about somebody in their comfort zone, he's talking about somebody that put it on the line and re for the next level, but he's not talking about gladiators here. This is a matter for right, the arena

talking about his life. The uranium talking about is your life. Are you daring greatly? Are you reaching for that next level? Are you modeling for your children? You need to find something in this life that your passionate about, if your children don't have passion, you need to help them find something that their passionate about and to do that. You need to put down those burden set your carrying you need to unburden yourself. You need to of yourself permission to give yourself a break. You ve carry these. long enough. Give yourself permission to forgive yourself and put those burdens down. I'm cool people today for some reason, but einstein,

said it really well, he said we can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking. We used when we created them. That's why I started this by saying. I want you to change your thinking. We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them you've, gotta, think differently. You gotta change the way you approach this world and that's what asking you to do, and I am asking you to think about this base. don't, how to change what you want versus b the slave to an agenda, don't be and reactive mode. What I want you to do is focused on if you want, don't get up and react to the world where you get up and do monday?

did last monday, just because it's what you did last monday, is it. What do you want to do, and it is not what you wanted. then start the process of change? To get more of what you want to do that I understand if your work is an accountant and you dont like that, you can't disquiet more and start fly in frayed out of africa or something I get that I'm not trying to get you to be some kind of exotic dreamer, but I told you this is not, es rehearsal. The middle word in life is, if l, I guess, You don't to be on your death bed saying what, if I had done this, what if I had done that you want to answer that question

So I want to stimulate you're thinking here with a few questions. Then you may think these are kind of silly, but bear with me. If you had a hundred million dollars to morrow morning, what would you do different if you woke up to morrow and you had a hundred million dollars? What would you do different if he woke up tomorrow, and you were king or queen of forest, he reduced in charge. What would be your top three priorities. If you could arrange one thing that happened last year, what would it be? This wanting vigorous one thing that And in your personal life and a combat the world, if you there is one thing in your life: what would it be.

If you could ensure that one thing was going to happen, what would that be? Those are four questions. I want you to think about A hundred million dollars: what would you do instead, you were king or queen of the forest, would be your top three priorities if you could arrange one thing in your life over the. You could ensure one thing was gonna happen. What would it be that will,

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