You have to protect your strands. Your calling your passion, you interest your skills, you have to protect them like a precious jewel, because the whole world will come at you and tell you that it's worth nothing and if you don't protected a calm, protect your value back the cat. I'd mystic is in the house of a favoured phrase. Mine coined by our friend Russell. Yes, absolutely right. So I am a lotta names than if it has over the years. He seems to come up with them. actively spontaneously yeah. He does he does he I mean that's, who he is right is one of the west is in one of the most spontaneous people I've ever met. I know that he is great welcome great to have you here. If your drive and all the way out here, but a long time is work. It's my pleasure, I'm so grateful to be a rich, and I we become recent friends and I'm excited

makes editor bond more and get to do this likewise, two times in in like two weeks, because I was yet did your show the other day. So this is great we're on the precipice but coming out which will be about when this comes out, which is gonna, be an exciting time for you, and he's van. I feel like every year I try and do a new first and this time it's too ok, yeah! It's like I get all the nerves I get anxious and in a good way. I love school in private. inverted as poking around the internet, and you know I've been following you for some time, but just trying to get up to speed- and I gotta tell you falling in love with your wife she's at she's adorable. So you know, I get electoral actually said that this is the story of my life. Basically, people like to some degree? I hope they spend time with me and then I introduced into my wife and then they go up

it's over. We literally no one wants to see me ever again. It all the time so widely and she's amazing, like I, we talked about it with you, but you're. What I do and it's my wife amazing, she's incredible, I lay I'm not surprised that people love a model may we both upgraded, which I feel good about. You know im happy to be with someone who's better than me. It's it's a blessing and yeah I've had that experience many times over. We do this. I was telling you earlier. We do this retreat every year in ITALY and and people show up from all over the place. You know forty people for this week. Long experience most of them arrive under the this idea. that they're going to like a trail running with me and they're, going to learn about plant based cooking and maybe do a lot of little meditations can be fun like expectations are low and then it becomes it's like a whole Julia experience, ha ha ha ha like. I didn't know that we were going to get this and then fall in love with her, I become very

secondary to the entire experience. Okay, so we've got a lot in common. We've got a lot in common. It's the plant based thing are Veda all this stuff yeah. She have the courage to school yeah. No, my wife is she's, a real she's, a real, genuinely powerful soul and yeah. She does every from a and she's always been that way. He does have an together for a long time. We ve been together for seven years, be married for four, and we do you like we ve, got stronger and stronger. It's been really interesting for us, because our lively, he turned on it had turned on its head when, when my career really started take off, and so in twenty sixteen. We I move job three times we moved country, we border house, the unrest founded upon me to run an got married all in the same year and It was a. It was a law, but it who saw a lot of bonds, together informing, and I think we had a moment right, he could have gone away like a literally could have broke. I saw or it could have made us and thankful

because of how she is in and how I am and what we both did from our relationship. We we've really been able to build the special, but you know it's taken a lot of work, and that was definitely a tough time here, no doubt I mean I think that level of change could easily and and most likely splits apart most couples, especially when we person in the relationship. Suddenly goes on a crazy trajectory that isn't like that doesn't work, the person is in kind of in in a parody type situation now and without a word our relationship, skills and communication that ends up being a planning. The seeds of of the demise of many a relationship yeah actually in, and you know we had a tough times like I remember, knowing that every time I went out to work that my wife was at home, my new wife leg is in my might near very new in terms of time

she's at home crying because she's just been moved away from her family and her home and you're off, like in your bliss totally I'm I'm trying to follow my bliss as as their joseph campbell would say, and just like trying to build my purpose. in the back of my mind, I'm feeling the painted a fag dad I make my wife is how many friends here many many family knew. We don't have a community here like with feeling that and then meet wanna play both rose and and I used to set up on these dates so would literally set up on dates with women that I've met that I thought would get along with her, and she meant why you keep set me up dated women, but it was just I was trying so hardened. Really made it my priority that she became my priority. Also, if she's not happy here if she doesn't feel like this is our home. If she doesn't feel satisfied here than it matter what happens in my so I was ass. She actually became my top priority when we lived a new car

when we move to allay, it's actually been the opposite. Where she's loves airline is made the best friends of her life and has an incredible com. the around and and and had to have that, whereas in new york I really felt that, since a pressure to to help her feel at home, it's staying because usually it's the other way around new york is a place that It feels easier to get socially acclimated than ally. I think I can be an incredibly lonely place in state. When you arrive in your new and you don't have a community because everybody is so dispersed and in their cars, it's not as spontaneous as new york or or it's difficult to connect. I mean, I think the onus is on the individual to really make something happen. Yeah I think we were lucky. We had. We had a couple of friends, you really opened us up to their world and their friends and that led to us making friends but also just I've. I found it. Nor can, I guess all depends where you are in your career and and all of that kind of stuff to bed I felt like a new people. Like came late to me. Things and left early, and always at daddy It is to see me- and also one of these was the

just one- and this is huge- it's it's weird one, but when you think about it, really really resonates People in there lay have homes they have larger apartments, and so people invite. Today like today, were in your mean you a beautiful home and we welcome your home. You end spending more time with them. So I remember that This weekend we came here my friend through a party and we went out and we spent eight hours with someone right now what we just want. A hours resign of has been a failure, and if you're in york, you debate among made at a bar restaurant totally- and I think that's it often run, and I think that's a big thing about it. I think when you meet people in their homes, when you meet people in their genuine natural habitats in environments, I feel like you, get an opportunity We see them, and- and they feel exposed in a genuine natural, vulnerable. Wait you as well- yeah. That's part of the reason why I like doing the potash at my house here I like having people over, and I have this theory

each person that arrives and spend time here. Deposit this place with their wisdom. and their admiration elevates. You know the whole experience of living here, that's beautiful, it's like a deposit, and you must be very careful about who you allow some guy and I snuck in this I try to you know I try to be mindful of that. Yeah I've been holding on to your crystals ever since, to make sure I do yeah so when I I take a ten thousand foot view of who you and what you do it. to me that you're, your gift, your your your real facility is disability. This facility, taking angels. Wisdom is spiritual precepts, these philosophical tenants and ideas and translating them in entertaining way and died simple way for a very broad, mainstream and and and perhaps young audience that fair,

sounds to me yeah, I know it's, you know it's. There was this statement by albert einstein was kind of underpins all my work and its. If you can explain something simply you don't understand it well enough and when I was exposed to the vedas and all these spiritual texts that some of them date five thousand years back? I was in them and I was like there is magic in these texts like there is so much energy in these texts, there's so much weight and gravitas and there's so much power. Guess why most people will never be able to experience it, because it's in another language of when another language, I don't just mean sanskrit or hinder you're you're on the chinese I'm in another language of its speaking to a different age, and they- beauty in that I love that and an eye- a priest that. But I could see that I wanted to try and see if I could explain these things to people that I grew up with him. I was always connected with the person who grew up in london. It I'm a born and raised in london. I grew up liking. Anything in every

londoners into, but I got so fascinated because of the way their philosophy was presented to me and I our responsibility to want to do that fathers so yeah. I think that's that's a pretty good break down and can as in full view, and you and I- and I appreciate you saying that because that's what fascinates that's where I get my buzz from is how do I reed study and learn said I can share two point: seven, that's that's where I get my my meeting for ya. crystallizing. These tax down to these colonels of wisdom or teachable moments is no small thing. I mean, if you, you know, if you read the bag of idea of Inga takes a protein his mind. Just keep track of all the characters like stories are insane. You know, so it's like aright,

in arjuna is doing this and you know so and so's over there do it spirit. You know killing these people and what's the lesson that I'm supposed to get, I have to send you when I, when I studied it, I made a family tree, so I literally had to physically for anyone who doesn't know what we're talking about we're doing with the bhagavad gita, which is part of the bara, and there are a million characters and I remember, having to not million literally, but I live in them having to literally piece together the family because I was the same I couldn't and and it is so profound and so powerful and you know yet it's it's blessing to be even be able to be exposed, then let alone trying to show them. Well, let's take it back, tell me about what it was like being a kid grown up in london northward, and yeah north london. So I grew up in the most commonplace. That people would know is a place called tottenham, more specifically beyond north london. For anyone who doesn't know- and I grew up as a

and I was very obedient kid growing up, especially in my up to fourteen years old. I was very, I would say it's very hard at school I was a good son. I followed the rules. I was very overweight at that time as well, so I got bullied a lot, so I was bullied for my weight. I was probably one of the few indian kids at school, so I was bullied for being indian, Their first generation, yes, young and- and I just was very fortunate because I guess it was a mixture of love at home, but also resilience. I never really thought that affected by any of the edges, I kind of accepted it as normal. I didn't see myself as different. I was just like. Oh, this is just what kids must go through and and I kind of go there and then at fourteen it kind of switched where I was like, while being good doesn't work like it doesn't add up to anything, I'm not be it doesn't make me more successful. I still expense racism and bullying, so I might It'll be a jerk cause like, and I don't mean the object is a bad person to people. I meant, like

It is well not follow the rules I might as well experiment with everything else, whether it was getting drunk or whether it was you know, experimenting with the smoking or weed or whatever it was at the time and just feeling like, I wanted a three in an experience in life and are being good, didn't stack up to what I was told. I was told if you were good, that you'd be successful and things will work and I didn't feel so I can only about where you have a conscious memory of making that decision. What's that, meaning at some point when you were fort in thinking like I'm in a change tack here I dunno. That's a good question. I dunno. If it was conscious in the sense I was like. Oh this isn't working. Let me try this. It wasn't like that in hindsight. I can see my reasoning behind why, because people have like I've, I've always considered myself well intentioned good person like that's that I am at the hall and the core of our good, never hurt anyone, it's not who I am, and so it's

It was weird when I, when I got involved in the wrong circles and I started doing things I can never imagine, and I became the opposite and when I reflect on that, that's what I feel is the reason. So no thing is a conscious decision at the time, but when I briefly today in hindsight, is very clear to me that that was the reason that I voted out right. So you didn't do a little bit of trouble, but not too much trouble you're still feet now. Are you the eldest son and the outer centre? Is this boy out, there's user and mantle that you have to carry yasser level of expectation and and, and you know, academic prowess that you have to demonstrate your parents to remain in good stead. Yet I didn't go to that because my my barons, you know any. The general like you, do well in school. That's all that matters and I I never took that too literally. I was like okay as long as I'm doing well in school. I can do anything I want so I was performing. in school, but I started to really when I was fourteen really dive into what I was fascinated

and I found that there were three subjects- are really took- my attention, service, economics, art and design and philosophy, And- became my three favoured some. to school and was very different to what my parents wanted or what I thought at primary school, where the maths and sciences were more stressed bed, I started this you that I was connected. I took my art teacher for hours about different or that we would dissecting and think about why the artist it justified though, to those two items like down the meaning behind said and brushes and strokes, and I loved like king something down philosophically- and I really oh my our teacher a lot for that- because he d made me gain that taste for questioning why things were the way they were rather than just accepting them at face value yeah, but that seed of was under germinated edge? It seems like finance originally out of one out in that in that race war. I would say that I,

that I would go off and do graphic design or more kidding. I you know city you, I really was about to apply, remember central, send martins, an incredible art school in london and I remember it's funny- you say that, because I remember applying it in my idea, I think messaging meals and near the town, however, we did it atomic. I don't remember that I guess he melting. in saying, oh, you saw how right just like calling me out and anyway my my it yeah. indian mind in london of juice, feeling that there were a finite number of options and that I didn't really even I didn't even know that there were other careers like genuinely like. If you- Let me then, I won't career existed in the world. I literally could only think of medicine law and finance. I don't even know that anyone did anything thing beyond now that anything beyond that was even available, and so for me I was like. Okay. Well can't do the first two, so I'm going to end up doing this one. So it wasn't. one from the hot- it's that it one from

safety security stability I ability that woman and the reason why this is so important to talk about it. I think today people look at me or maybe see my work if there were to be quite risk taking- and you know, I think, I'm very different but there was a time in my life I made decisions based on feeling. I wanted a secure future and stable right, medicine, law, law, failure. Yeah, exactly as I have three options growing about an engineering that seems to be going to pass. The test was right. I know, but I wasn't, I think, that's very india, centric I, like british indians, I feel and not a veto. If you don't maybe maybe she's mean, but you know no just I was always I never I know I live here very, very early on that. I didn't engage with the same things. Is the people around me and I couldn't even force

of my intuition was so strong and I d know called intuition at that time. But I knew that so strongly was dragging me towards I desire philosophy and all of this kind of stuff you're, a social animal. I suspect that you had lost friends and ran popular circles. I did in my teens, but not up to my tea and even yeah, I didn't my teens, but I felt that I felt time. You know you just fine mean yourself like renewal teens, you don't know who you are. You don't know where you stand, freedom where you values are and everyone. At that time I mean I went to school, where majority people are probably smaller and smaller meet a super smart kids in my school and really accomplished and in the best grades in you know best. the maize and all of that kind of stuff? So Never really give you It was good. It was very humbling being at my school, you got over every year. They would literally we'd get a report which would rank you in every subject, one to one hundred.

Eighty three, two hundred eighty students from idea for every subject, any would you'd get it sent to your parents to you and you get a number one to one. Eighty. We can know when you a one, forty four and there is some subject drives at one for your love. Is that some true Sarah, so bad, but it was it was hungry, but the good thing about it was very. early on my school able to show us what our strengths where and what wasn and now when I look back at the nice summit, while my school really poor pointed out to me what I was going to be successful in what I wasn't to the point that my school didn't allow us to take certain subjects late, one bit in age of sixteen you're done with that yeah. It's not going to work literally that you'd go into this room with your parents, and the teacher would sit you down and they'd be like yeah. We didn't think jake and take, three years later this year and that we so scared of those meetings. It is you re scared of our EU parents area. So

you gotta university, and you study business yeah, setting management science and I focused on behavioral side. So all of my thesis in my mind dissertations at all. Die was focused on analyzing behaviour in that kind of what I got fascinate. So walk me up to this pivotal monk moment yeah. I think you know I've talked about four and- and this is a great conversational ready, because I'm telling you stuff, I've never said before, which I always love said. I you know I mean this is this is really for me right now and I own I approached this is well I'm always whenever I tell these intuition a real it's it's. This thing in all entered a poem It's been a rough go for it when you are in the process of telling in retailing your story, time and time again what I always am always sitting here thinking when I'm doing it myself thinking, because I'm just eating as I have like you know? I know the thing and I know what to say. really. What happened exactly really be honest with myself? Did it happen differently? That

mine is my memory playing tricks on and telling me that something happened, because I've just repeated at so many toddy and always kind of like using that as a reference point, absolutely I meet you and I'm always trying to what I find is. I know, and I ask myself the question as well, and I know that I'm telling what and but I'm always trying to discover a new truth about it, and so, whenever I'm telling you I'm like, oh what can I discover this time about? Well, let me ask you: let's do it this way go for it. I mean. Basically, as the story goes you develop day. A proclivity for seeking out interesting people to go here. Talk business, people, sports figures, etc and suddenly there was this monk who is going to be speaking. You are initially not interested in hearing what that person had to say, and you agreed with your friends to it and only on the assumption that you You guys go up our afterwards. I emphasise that territorial areas. So let me ask you this: let's talk about.

Where that resistance came from systems just came from. I think this skeptical version of me that didn't really if there was anything beyond success and that's polly, why I called the bog things like a monk, because I think a lot of people look at them and why would I want to think like a monthly? Why do you know that but that's the point I am trying to break through the barrier of I think. So, of us have been condition to believe their success, looks the same way and happy looks the same way and that joy looks a certain way and I was one of those people. I was very sceptical about anything else outside of my space like if someone was pulling up in their fast. Ah, if someone was pulling up in the best clothes did, I give them. D I'm too really share their perspective and I love the fact that that best moment of my life that moment at up. To that point was also the most humiliating moment of my life. For myself because I was being humiliated to myself. I do so humbling to walk out

Andy light. Ah, it all wrong, and so I ll I really celebrate d d humbling at that moment gave me, and- and it's exactly that that when you hear someone speak and they speak the things that you never knew. You were interested in. You never thought that you be fastened by someone. Service, but when he spoke about service he just penetrate my soul and just spoke so deep to Michael or in a way that nothing never has the. I could hear about someone to making a million dollars in it wouldn't feel the same way. What was it that he said specifically, he was he was quoting another right journey mentioned this. This phrase you said plant trees under whose shade you do not plan to sit. He said that the best use of your talents and skills, he's not to use it to become rich, famous and successful, but to use in the service of others when he said that I was like wow. That's a pretty bold statement and I think for me was you know it was partly my openness just

and because- and and I've said this before, but I'll repeat it, because it really hit me it's like when I was eighteen I met people who were beautiful. I met people who are rich. people were strong and maybe blew a powerful. I don't think I've ever met anyone who was truly happy and if he looked up- and I don't know him he's right- what's his name garnered us so he's ease. Like is just like this big. We fully any gently spend time with him and he is, busy schedule like David. The way he lives in our powerful iraqis, even you know, even to idea you into the indian institute of technology. He super small, like one of the smallest people in his year, like very accomplished and he gave it all up- and I was like either he's really smart or he's really crazy, and I wanted to find out- and I think that's all I had is that I was like he must be onto something because if he had it all lined up but he gave it up and he's really happy. What is it right? Like that's that's kind of whether curiosity I mean it's

it's more like confusion. I don't understand you know I know I need it. I need to square this equation: yeah yeah, polly, confusion, but pollio security and a sense of just like him. Must we really small? We must be really crazy, like if he's smart, he's onto something like how did he get so much joy, satisfaction and contentment in knots facing the dream, everyone around him was chasing and that society is constantly sort of pushing a store Absolutely absolutely- and I was I was fascinated by what was his or he still live like a loaded on me. What's his particular genus of you know spiritual aldi, like what what tradition so he's a hindu monk is a hindu monk and he's what I would consider. I in the book I break down and think. Like a monk, I break down dharma and purpose and calling so he would a b c under the leader type of individual,

he's very ambitious, very focused. He can get a lot. Danny's power has to be our and at the same time he walks over to an demanded everyday. skype is healthy. Just is one of these like all round or types of people whose use yeah really good at taking care of his mind body and spirit, but Tommy really wants to do something for the world. He has the energy. There is something about certain in visuals, I'm reluctant to say the word enlightened, but people who are carrying a higher level of consciousness that, when you're in their presence undeniable like it's, you can't you can't reduce it to words, but there is a sensation of what it feels like to be in that person's presents. Hunt- the sun and and introduce me to his spiritual teacher, is also one of my spurs reaches rather than at swami who's been among four for two years now I'm not going anywhere these older as well, and it's like I feel like going

them every time like it's just yet that undeniable presence- and I would say to be what you need did you need a fee to believe it? Like you need d day you can't, like you said you can produce it two words any. I feel that now when even go to temples when I was in south india, particularly and your home reminds me a lot of south india because, as a lot of these stone statues in the mountain out there, we had. We had some proper swami here. Why we ve lost swamis ass. If he had here over the years there and and one of them look the mountain across the. When any said, this feels like my home and we stood in his home was danish allah, Allah, fear It is a very kind of like powerful spiritual, vortex, absolutely and and vortex is where I went when I went to south india, it's a city with these powerful gates. If you look at south indian architecture, it's like these in you, you've got the in your home. That is like this incredible kind of, like almost like avenging marvel meets spiritual culture, gonna like space ship coming,

these derived yours engaged and address, as did the temples are like five thousand years old, my hand and when you walk through those corridors, there's one that literally feels like you're going to walk through and be transported to another dimension way. The politico undesirable thousand guys like star trek. Yet lingered here exactly exist here, superbum, what's it, but some water today reference point kind of like doktor, strange mega like doktor strange, but on steroids like it's just yeah, it's expensive, and I think that is one of those things that you have to sit in that present. You have to go there to believe it and and Anyone who, as whether they have a faith or not and- and that's really wants important to me- is how do we We share these teachings in a way that its not bound by faith or religious, nor spiritual tradition. Even for me, like this book, is about becoming a go to tradition or a particular philosophy. It's it's about living

q and thinking like a much greater rights. That's the value. I mean two things, the others too powerful precepts, your one is, you can transfer. something you haven't got like when you are in the presence of somebody like that. You know it you know there are a lot of pretenders too. That type vibration, but it's pretty transparent, like whose really carrying that kind of wisdom and whose pretending to Secondly, that is this idea that that you really fully embrace which meeting people, whether at like, if you show up in robes in and you're you're, framing your presentation in a way that that creates a distance between you, in a person you're trying to communicate than your already you know basically behind home, played in terms of like trying to connect or transmit yet yeah and is two things you worry about their which, having a really interesting it's the first is it's all about the frequency creating a sieve. Some one is

falling your pretending or trying to be something. If you're operating a lower frequency, you may follow for awhile. and you may not know, but when you start up in your frequency, that's when you really see that all right now I can see the difference in its final judgment away or a critical way, it's just frequencies and the second point you making their around in a really really speak. People about whether our meeting them, whether raw and and connecting with the might for me it's just. compassion is, is not expecting people to be met. advance than they are and unnatural people have done with me. I mean when I to the ash women. When ice fatalities, monks, I mean I'm in. way, and even now, I'm not I'm in declaration aiming to spend time with me now and, and I feel like when you x during that level of compassion. Where people see you, they look to your soul. They watch when they just think they can see every about you that you don't like about yourself and there was

you'll find that spark of potential and these spark that makes them believe that we should invest in serve and help this human being and for me, when you ve experienced that level of compassion even if you are still dealing with stuff yourself, you want to pass it on. So when I'm see anyone at any level, I don't judge anyone because hey I've been there before hey, I'm still kind of in some ways I know how hard it is to get out of that mass, and so how can I just someone just because dead, three steps behind, so you have this experience? with this spawn can have. Apparently everything changes. How the change. Well, my start. Have I've rise before, like my personal lifestyle, stout the same, I was still dating. Still I ve given up our goal. That time and had given up leg in drugs and steps, I wasn't We playing an and my was always very experimental. I've never been an attic Torah, regular consumer of anything. I've just been an experiment to my luck

But for me it was my my be dating are still doing everything that anyone ever did. There was nothing changed in that, but I was not, entirely curious and checking it out. So I the next four years, half of them in my summer, in turning our financial companies, london, where I thought I would end up working just cause. My university recommended that and the other half of my brain, said spend them living in india with the monks to explain it's a lifestyle, I would literally go as explain it from steakhouses bars in suits to robes keep it on the floor and meditating everyday so was that was that the this monks, teachers ashram yes yeah, whereas I always look like no it's two hours as item by events in the middle of nowhere, but its way that you as a member, yeah were there other westerners, there yeah yeah, yeah twenty yeah plenty of visitors from all over the world, people from Australia, people from europe, people from london and yeah that that definitely avalon

it is even to us, yeah haha. So initially it was a couple of years of half the summer yeah it wasn't. It wasn't long. I I'd go there for like two weeks, three weeks phone I gotta go there for sure best of time and just just experiences just to live like them and live with them, and for me- and I didn't know, do some again in hindsight it was me really getting to live both options of life. Getting to live in a city get into our fancy suit to work every day and get to perform well what place in you know, go through all of whatever that is network, in meeting people and then I'll get to do that, and I just got so much more subtle Action from, I felt satisfaction from the service we did. I felt satisfactorily than the meditate, and if I'm completely honesty the big, the thing that that got me at that time was. I didn't have to think that ego, an humility and vulnerability and empathy and compassion these one just gonna be concepts anymore. These we're gonna be real practice.

mrs yell weaknesses. These could become focuses. Did I it really wrap my head around them, because when I was back in the city and I was trying to perform- and I was trying to show my boss, who was the best and who is performing well, it was hard maintain that level of gravity? Because not because it's impossible, because it's not that! That's what I lay out. I'm trying to teach. Why now harder, because I hadn't had their training I'm so. now that I've come out of the ash from I feel like my monk training, has allowed me to continue to practice those principles. The real world where the right time. I was just eighteen year old kid who was still can yeah and everything else that I suppose distinction there. It's one thing to make a decision after you, ve lived as a monk during that like three year period. Making this

hardline decision. Ok, I'm going back into the world, but when you kind of have one foot in both worlds yeah, I suspect that it apply, became progressively more difficult to relate or connect with your friends back in london I was you know, I was very open with the closest friends. I remember one of my friend saying to me like I will you know easily udo is to allow women to get that. I could always took my girls, like which girls we liked and who he was dating all this kind of stuff and all of a sudden. Every time I'd come back from being a monk I'd have a monk moment and- and you know, try and like resist the urge to to just to but women in that way and in the way begun and my friend, which is what we know talk about issues like a visa waiver is life going and other parts of about well and and having to say- and I want to give credit to my friends to some a lot of the friends who just really intrigued.

They actually wanted to learn, and so I ran a society at university, equal think out loud and every week I would present a topic based on philosophy, science, and college you. So I would take a movie out dissected characters. I would wooed what if the movie together, namely break down the roles- and I would talk about philosophy- sign spirituality and psychology to students and monitor did it. We are like ten students by the time we finished university eta. We'd students coming every week and it is totally free, there's no catch. There was no fun Where does nothing used? It just is beautiful experience and that's kind of work, and into the habit of everything I learned is a monk I will teach you survive learning but com. I would teach it that week if I, if I win that summer, I learned about it I will talk about eager and so on started sharing what I was learning, because I found that to be the best.

way of letting people connect and that's kind of work are fascinated. This whole thing, so this whole trajectory gets planet then like you're you're, starting to teach and share even before you go off and be a full time my way before, and that experience of reviewing mood movies in and discussing really is I mean that's the germination fur, these videos at you do now hundred percent like that. That really was the beginning, and that was when I was eighteen years old to fourteen years ago now- and I just putting on a session every week, and then I go invite are the universities. I go to the london school of economics and present. I go to decide the university, and I was just loving. Fact that I was finding so many young people in london that wanted this over anything else. Like that's what I was press by the most there was a need in tat. Convince me very early on that. If presented effectively, there wasn't commute, if a decent people really were searching It's very similar to antipater comes our enemies, acid, yeah yeah. I mean he's the only other person whose had

It carries right now, but him coming back that experience in returning to london and then cut of hosting these salon. Yeah needs rich, and then they start kind of you now, basically doing informal, get togethers that then you know become and grow into headspace, but the idea started in a similar way to kind of what you're yeah yeah exactly and this was If you remember, I told Andy this. I said to him that the year I first found out of my head space is the year I became a monk when I told him this, I was so impressed by what he was doing and I said to you: if I had the money out of investor here, for I had no money I have said. Is that he's been on my part caused and we ve done a few battles together, the yankees I love Andy and and inaction to most so impressed by what they did. We're just starting that journey, and I saw what he'd done. I was like wow. That's fast you know how great to see that barrier yeah, I think This is the reason why I am sharing these two with ye reaches in our

I've been doing is online for like three to four years, but a mile, I've been doing this for fourteen years back. I'm literally done this every single day of my life for the last fourteen years in some way shape or form whether is reading, studying or teaching or sharing and so For me, it's become my life and when I left being among, I didn't want to not do that anymore and and what, get to do. Now is what brought me back to that to be able to learn, study, teach, share and live in the element which I feel so much connected to and meet people where they are yeah. That was that's always been my thing because, because I've been, you have been taught tat like you it's when you ve been drowning in an ocean of material for and some one had, the compassion and empathy to reach down and grab you. You fool you want to do the same thing and and die just my meditation constantly. You know you, don't you can't ever go back from that the amount of gratitude I have had a people that have invested in me

and I open my eyes. I was eighteen years old. I would have gone down the path of becoming an. I probably if I had my way? It probably will want to become an odd directorate and massive company. I probably would dump Well, myself, out of travel the world and wasted my life like that's. I always think about that moment of sliding doors Could it be right? That's why would have been, but because I met these incredibly pal people want nothing from me, but just give it changed. My life and death the opportunity I one in four people. It may not be a monk, but when you think I am you. Would you recognise that? Actually am I exposing myself to as many alternative methods Am I really allowing myself to experience everything the world has to offer, because if I'm not I'm already limiting myself in a well, that's actually unlimited that's. The challenge I see is that we living at a time when you have the most choice available. You have the most experiences available, but we still put ourselves in these prisons only that those prison

are one of self. Seeking I mean you mentioned, giving a mean giving is, is a service, is the cornerstone of this whole thing, less being and selfless service to others guess which is just counter programming to the way entire in our entire infrastructure of western civilization, is constructive. Yes, absolutely a complete counter programming. I remember when I was giving a talk. This is probably by like earlier, but we left yes go and our speed or group executives in one of them came up to me afterwards and he said how old were you when you became longer on twenty two, and he said when did the realisation that life is about self service, and I said well, I'm I'm still getting there, I'm not there yet, but the first time I fell in love. That idea was eighteen, he goes the first time. I realized that life was beyond me. I was forty two years old. When you know my child was growing up. and here is that was the first time I realise that life is not just about me and I was thinking I would like to me. It was to me it's weird I got exposed to an eighteen. I couldn't believe that someone didn't. Stunned- that even today, like

The reason why we're all repeating messages in and continued, I think, remind people of these suggested. Even ourselves is because you could hear that life is about service. A milk times, but until you practices and until you really until you really mouldy into every area of life like this podcast. Is your service think of service also very limited. We think service means to go on aperture or being at the soup. Kitchen are correct, and that is beautiful and people should do it. It's it's wonderful and I don't think we should all do and I try and do as much as I can but services also serving through your calling your talents, your skills, your purpose that benefits the people and if it can be different, like you know, yes, yeah there's somebody methods will. The ultimate is when you can find that thing that lights you up and check, that in a way to give back to others and also support yourself and yet family and

I mean that's the secret, that's what this does for me. I just feel like the luckiest person in the world to him. Yes, you don't live in this time where this is possible and to have kind of stumbled into this yeah for sure. There's, there's a beautiful story that I share. That you've reminded me of now and it's it's the story of two monks that are washing their balls. And, while the washing their balls, they see a one of, among sees a scorpion. Drowning and so he helps the scorpion out of the water and puts it onto the side and in that process he gets stung by the scorpion and the other monk says what are you doing like you know this but he said I don't. I don't worry about it. The scorpion falls in again to the water. The monk picks up again get stung in the process and puts it onto the so that the other monks, just like okay, now you're being ridiculous egg. What do you do He said why you saving the scorpion when you know that its nature is the sting replies guys. I know that the scorpions nature is testing, but my nature is to save, and so

He understood how hard wired his sir, mindset was that he was willing to go through the pain to to act in that way. So what I'm trying to share with that stories that we're all wired to serve naturally as children, his kids is people is humans, but we ve been educated for greece. did you see this a bit communist viral videos of kids? You like walk up to tell it. Screen, and why the cartoon characters tears off with them too. user, like kids like wanting to help the person next to them, and we were all once that person, but it's just education that we get an amongst through my school and sting generally. The the education of becoming self centred and when Looking from a scientific point of view, the studies that have been done when people help people dead depression goes down. The mental health goes up when people helping pull their able to feel more joint explains my happiness in their lives and we are happy when we serve and help people and die

it has been so lost their lives I genuinely awesome so because I think everyone hearing that will say I, I, like tell people I try if you really did an audit of how much time you spend every, speak genuinely helping someone who is giving you no help genuine, helping someone who does nothing back for you, I'd find that we say very, very limited amount. The key is due and when it's not convenient crowd, I mean yes, exactly. That's the best way to say yeah, exactly and yeah It's tough, I mean listen, you know it. You hit him on the head. I mean it's, not it's not just school, it's like by osmosis. It's like. I hear what you're saying J that's great, but, like I gotta get mind, do you know times the clocks taken time is running out and I got my hustle on yeah. So you are my response to that sure My response to that is that mentality we'll get you the thing and it will get you the number

I don't get you the money in the bank, but you also satisfied that my hypothesis so go test it and I would gladly let anyone tests that, and I guarantee you that, tell you feel what happens. Is you get it? You have that experience of momentary elation then quickly fades the half life on those very short, and then you think your next thought isn't. I need you pass your next thought is well when I get that next time. exactly and lock in absolutely is to the will. Is there to convey a bow and its that's the distress? That's the that's the challenge with, and I think that but we have to learn from people who have got there and feel that way. I think we have do it said you know when you hear carry say, like everyone, should get everything they want and become ever never wanted just to realize it's not. The point when you see everyone who gets to the p a financial or fame or beauty. success. They then

try and serve like that's just what remains of having dinner in the world capital of that right here, yeah, you don't owe me absolutely financial and And you see it like you know, I can remember who said this bed. You know it, dweller your success. I can remember who said you bet your success is based on the depth of the problem. You solve right and if you look at any success, even if it's Jeff bezos and amazon and some guys I want to be Jeff bezos Jeff has solved not that I know him, but Jeff has solved a issue people had so it's still service, and I think that's what we mean. that anyone is winning even financially whether we agree. With the business model or not, they are filming some type of service to people because he serving more people with an issue that they have he's able to make more money, so even from it when the financial perspective so still wins it? I get there

there's no, you know, there's no take mine when I get that it's it's a more just and expansive definition of service, correct korea, bed, but it still soul service, ultimately, is is solving a problem. That really is a core need in people's lives, and I think I can a starting point for someone, if they still like J, I don't guy I'm still I'm just trying to yeah, I'm all right, so you make this decision to go be among full time. You live in the sauce room for three years. Yes, yeah yeah and we traveled a lot too. So we lived in ashrams across london, mumbai and Europe as well. Oh wow, I and I think, Similarly Andy was in, he went. in the crush he was in russia, scotland yeah. He told me that scotland so walk me through like a typical day in the life of that experience. Yes, you wake up at four am every day, no matter where you are and for fatty is collective praise and meditation so forth that he till about five fifteen.

Then five fifteen to seven thirty is personal meditation time so that personal meditation practice in a communal space with other people, I can be private to an seven. Thirty, two eight is somebody to eight that he's a class. So clauses must be from the bug detail on the Schuman, bagua Timor, one of these virtual text, upanishads per owners and serbian, our closkey. By one of the senior monks or senior teaches usually one of my favorite things look forward in the day because tat. I was like kind of like as always waiting for that, because they the causes, which is so powerful and hearing people who've studied all in trees in the books and an eighth eddies breakfast breakfast, usually in india. Would be some kind of indian dish kind of similar to that describe it's called flat rice in, does the easiest way to describe it. So some simple food and

from then on? It would be different every day. So the way we split up is the morning was about yourself and the often an evening, we're about service and that's where I I fell in love with this routine of self in service, and I think today now the words coming a lot back to self love And- and I feel like that's where we got to experience both very clearly when you spend half your day, taking care of you of course, when the other half serving you get this beautiful synergy between the two for the rest of the day. We'd be out Feeding children we'd be out. Building the sustainable village that we were we'd, be out, teaching we'd be out helping We are doing something, and that would change every day depending on need was sometimes a beach was as well as washing your clergymen washing monk robes enough, not fun at all

yeah this huge bedsheet say it s like a day. Seven days a week, you get a day off or you can go. You know China, we want, you know. I always. I always wondered and other guys you wanted, that day, our housing, if I make it a five of the forums, can escape the other. Now you don't get it doesnt work like that, and I mean there's a lot of reflection time in the day that you get and you have to really work through a lot. stuff, because your ego gets in the way your opinion start to get in the way in community is a real experience like one live community with that many men in one place it like you really have to face your ego, your pride, your competitive mentality, your comparison on a daily basis is really

did humanity ever just percolated surface endued start fist fighting like no one. Ever I really like that. The only time Monkford ever gave me to humans are human essay care. How much your meditating at some point in our own eye was never that that the only ten months ever got into physical was wendy. special sacred food came out, so does their sacred for you, that's often like there's these sweets and we didn't you know within it. Sugar or anything like that deserts whenever these It came out dad dad. Did these milk swedes sometimes said: the sweets were like there. The kind of like yeah I never spent time in an austrian but I'd better. Let me say that I will be voting. I would act here I mean I I like to take you. joy that our colleagues areas are being deadly serious. We should go together time. I go about every year you still do. Every year I go back every

usually December January beard the weather's good to go. Then yeah fervour anyone who's, not from india. Like I struggled during the hot times, the two. So that's the best time if you visiting but I'd love to take you be so fine, a big role here in my experience of you now sitting in meditation with various you now swamis over the years and and and being around in various types of those kind communities. The thing that I notice, like the humanity that I see in that is the the institutionalization of the guru right and then it becomes like this pecking order of whose close to the higher consciousness in their seats to be a lot of jobs seeing around like that's where I see like those sort of care, during this debate that the inner innate humanity park the surface in manifesting in character, flaws, yeah, sure, that's really good point, and- and I saw that too and I feel like I feel it might

just did a very good job of not try. To create. It enjoy or build that time of culture, coach they dead best, but the following. mentality is so strong, so I'll even example like so so whenever I one of my teachers. If we travelled together whether an you, I'm I'm you have to put yourself in the mindset of a very junior monk and spiritually very junior to so I'm like down like right at the bottom of the pile right, and they say shit, when I would travel with the senior most teacher, there was a respect in where we pay physical respects as you we see in the form of people by physically bow on the floor, to show respect to teachers to etc and- and he had some two years old was never a day behind closed doors, when no one else was watching that he wouldn't get back and pay their respects on the floor. And to me that was the that was the mangalore. I was like

because there was no more no one to show off too. I was I've seen you that I deserved it like. There was no from from the point of view of a hierarchy, even though there wasn't one, but he would have the humility and d, the human humanity to to recognise that, if a soul or if a person is showing me respects and I'll, show those respects back, and I felt that seventy years old and you know I'm like twenty two years old, like a seventy year old man like that's beautiful down, there was some beauty in that, and that was that was part of it and the other part, the you I've and any funding as we talk about this a lot, even even with the other monks and other people, that about Did you would never have a favorite or a number one? and he never verbal- lies this. we all knew it, and- and one of the senior monkey always said to me, said if you want to be the number one, you won't last very long and he literally said that to me goes: if you want to be his number one go to right hand, man will that kind of stuff. He has you're not going to last long here because

Anyone wanted that position. They never got it because he doesn't want to exist friends, you will fail and we I remember this conversation with germany's. You know he's been so close to him for so long and said to me said there are two: this is going with us. He goes there are times when I've had to be really close. support women. There are times when I've had to move away and stepped back, and let him do it needs to do, and it's like he goes. It doesn't work like that. So I think that good leaders- always try and avoid creating that culture bought off. The woman tell it to you so strong tat. We want some of the world. You ve been idolize and we want that were seeking one hour. identity is informed by proximity. to that person. Yeah I mean yeah and then there's two types of proximity so already is

if you're used to respond to all these memories, so we're walking on this beach. In south india it's called setu bund, it's a very holy place and in like literally the the tip of south india. If you were to look at a map and we're walking on this beach- twenty five months and I and our senior teacher move walking behind him. Everyone from war close to him and he just walk so I ve been talking to anyway just walking and he's doing a walking, meditation and everyone's around it, and it was that I had had a realization. I like there are two ways of being close to either push have run away and try and walk through the middle, or I push everyone closer. And be closed because everyone else is closer to, and I was like remember, having of a real reflection pointed out a moment ass like, while these are the two options in life, we always have. You either get closer to people, but You try and push everyone else out. The way we get closer to people because you take every with you and I was like I'm going to try do that. Second, one for the rest of my life. If I want to be close to someone, I'm gonna, take everyone close to that person

never gonna, be that guy whose turn it and that's my hope. You know. That's my meditation yeah that require. that you dispense with the zero sum game mentality. Explain it, meaning that Your success can only come at the expense of others. Variety, as opposed to, though the universe is infinitely abundant and there is room for everybody area, gas that ain't a non fear based perspective in things like a monk. I call it there. There are an inn, the number of seats in the theatre of happiness, we in our minds, have started to believe that every wii thing now, if you're booking a cinema, theater or movie theater, there's a finite number of seats. You gotta get tickets to the olympics. There's a finite number of seats He gets to the cultural or whatever it is. It's like this finite number of seats and that finite finite finite I know been drilled so deeply into us, but there are infinite number of seats to see with your name on it in the theatre of happiness. because I'm already in there doesn't mean you combine just because your

It has mean I can't be in there and as soon as you realize that you free yourself Well, I think there is a seat with your name on it and and all you, news- came your own c and no one else can take that seat from you and when you living like that you can collaborate, you can grow together, and build together, and you see this as being the a I will just reading bob. I guess book in india. He talks about how it was, and I made it few the names one, but I think it was it was Steven fish was george Lucas and these Quentin John noticing days to get together and they would critique each other's movies before they came out, so they give each other feedback. You, wouldn't you You met some of the best of all time like being cut. To showing their work to their competitors right now. That's the point right, like I've, never wants to quentin tarantino fell, I was watching a steven, spielberg phone and I've never was a spielberg both from thinking I'm watching a george lucas film, which,

shows a how incredibly creative and talented they are, but also how much they trust what they were offering the game and that to me a powerful metaphor, and I mean it's not metaphor- it's literal. of how you live in a there were an infinity number of seats in the theatre of happiness. On the subject of how Yes, I think you would agree that were suffering from an epidemic of loneliness and and depression. And, and you know people are seeking fur sir, in different ways of living there there sensing their lack of their lack of contentment, where the path but they ve chosen for themselves. you go online and somebody's telling you to you now find. Bless or you know, seek out your ash and and and I think that that's, although perhaps coming from a good point- This is not necessarily helpful and perhaps damaging because it leaves that person.

Thinking while I don't? I don't know what my passion is. Are you know, I'm not happy, but I don't understand the path forward to find out happiness and an eye I am unsure about what steps I need to take in order to gird my life with more purpose and to try to find more fulfilment in so, with the experiences that you ve had like. How do you speak to that person meet them where they're at to try to get them to re frame their perspective on how their living yeah sizing. First of all, it has to be a two fold up and what I mean by that is, there is an aspect that is thinking in reflection and there is a part of it that is action and experimentation. These the two aspects, anything in our life and the biggest mistake we make is we do too much action fermenting without reflection. Would you too much reflection with action and experimentation selectness, don't let's break them down. Let's start with the thinking and reflective approach, this is a project can do on your own business,

You can do right now listening today's this approach that I half of it that island in things like a monk. So the first thing I ask you to reflect on is is four areas. The first area is things that you have an expertise in, but have no passion make a list of three things that you have a expertise in, but no passion for so for me, I give the example of microsoft, egg cell in numbers on mom? Ok at it, but I don't enjoy like I don't have a passion for it right social right down, three things in their then the next box that I want you to fill out is ask yourself why do, I have no expert he soon, but I have a deep passion for so for me as neuro science, I am not an expert euro signs. I can brain surgery. Anyone and I couldn't scan anyone's brain, but I am superpower it about I love reading about it. I love speaking our scientists, it something for me, social media used to be in that category. For me, once upon a time social me

it was something I wasn't an expert in order much about, but I was passionate about learning how to communicate then defend box. Things that you're, not ex no expertise and no passion water things in your life that you like or don't like him, not good at them. Right. Maybe you taxes at whatever right, like pretty much everything, everything else, everything, algeria and then the fourth and final boxes. What passionate about and what are you an expert in that's the basi trying to find so that box may be empty right now. This is the thing to do that reflection, I says the reason why it so important is because most of us first, I don't even know what expertise is in a passion is, and now, when I say passion, I'm not just saying find your passion, I'm saying, would you like doing you get joy from reading about what, even if you a tv show. What is it about that tv show that keeps you captivated? Well, when you listen to this progress, what part about it which person stands out to you, it's you having to meet in to every part of europe, like start with something as simple as what's your favorite cuisine,

people go. I don't know what my favorite cuisine is. We think about it. Ask em. You walked out of Amelia happy when you or did it, you have you and you ate it Happy the next morning. That's probably your favorite cuisine, try and find it happens in your life because all of us a karmic pattern in our life that we just zoned into so I'll. Give another example: let's let's get the pattern of the best decisions you made If you looked at the best decisions you made in the last decade- and let's say you pick three right three's a pattern for me: that's that's where I'm going to make an hour, but it's totally my choice, it's subjective, but it's my opinion, Three things are patted. Look into three decisions you made in your life. Will you knew it was the best decision when you aid, not when you got the best result, but you knew it even before the result happened that you made the best decision. I don to you. If you reflect on those three decisions in the last decade, you will find

the same parameters, the same environment and the same decision making boards and thought process that got youtube decision shall give an example. I, when I decided to become a monk, I believe those my best issue when I made it not because one day I'll be able to write a book about it cause. I had no idea right even be here, so I was going against the gray no one agreed with me and most people thought it was the worst idea when I left being a monk I was going against the grain because most amongst I joined with state is monks. No one agreed with me and it was completely saw tat. I was doing the right thing for me when quit my safe corporate job to do what I do now, as going the grand, because most my friend you're happy with their salaries, I was, I was doing the thing that fell really write to me and no one agreed with me, and so I found

that's generally the pattern of my life, my best decisions that those three things now that may not be for you, your best disease, maybe the opposite, so that reflections really important. Second half action. Take the next month. Take the next thirty days. Every weekend plan a new activity, workshops, seminars course book podcast to listen to Person to shadow personal experience with take a saturday and sunday try it out. You ve got eight things that you can now test. There are eight days a week ends in a month. Roughly, test something new on each of those go and actually do something. So this is no more thinking no more reflecting. If you want to be a chef or you think you want to be a chef going to a cooking class c, naturally was, for you see how much fun you had doing the process take a different things and try them out. When you both of those together with thirty days, you could figure out what you genuinely passionate about as a starting point, and I may change may evolve, but at least you somebody's star and the biggest

egg is we're sitting there doing a personality test, trying to figure out what our passion is. Obviously, you're, not gonna write a lot of it goes back to if you- I live in the in the mindset of the child within my boy. You were the choices that you made work when you were a kid about what you like spend time doing. I have that's also good places. I agree, and I think those are really powerful exercises the expertise. Peace can come later right. It's not about that at that moment absolutely edit, the more you engage with those activities that you naturally enjoy. You, your crew, operating ease your ear, creating an environment in which opportunities can come later here to further experts. There is a difference between a lack of expertise and inexperience right. We think we lack expertise in something, but actually we're just inexperienced at it and- and that's the point of that second element of you- don't have to be the best.

When you start doing it, but as soon as you start doing it, you ve now, given yourself that opportunity to grow and- and I think we all This is always something we ve all learned and better at it. But if you're fascinated by probably more likely to invest more time and see it don't, but it is also important, There may be things in your life that you have an expert and will you don't have a passion in, but then ask yourself the question Why don't? I have a passionate because you add, meaning to it. Then there are so many skills that we have to. If you added to be the meaning, you added some purpose to you added. Why are you doing here? You can actually find a great useful. and I think a lot of us are under under underestimate how powerful expertise. As you may have strands there under utilised by your current job, but actually really well utilised by someone that you felt activated you essentially everything it you're saying our tools or greater self awareness right so when you say what I mean

this decision to go be a monk I knew in my heart. It was the right decision for me despite externalities same thing when you made the decision to leave but you're somebody who had spent that amount of time, developing self yourself, awareness, you're, very integrated and because of all the inside work that you ve done to get to apply is where you not only are in tune with your instincts. Your to rely upon them, you know I mean- and I think most people are so disconnected from themselves and either lack what self awareness or are just leaving their lives, so reactive lee that their impulse- or their instincts are either unheard or entirely unreliable, and I think that that people make decisions and said, for themselves in that state- that led them terribly awry here, but intuition, is a muscle that everyone can build

It really is a really believe that, as a study that I mention in anything like among where I took my how men and women are asked to be alone with their thoughts for fifteen minutes or give themselves in electric shock, thirty percent of women chose electric shock and said there's. A men chosen electric charges because they didn't want to be alone with adults for fifteen minutes now he's mood of all human suffering. Yet now here's the thing that intuition comes from asking yourself questions, basic questions simple questions, just as it would getting to know ridge getting too J is the same process after I eat. Something. Did I like that did not like it morning? Did I like that? You don't like it when you ask people- if ever movies. You know you feel when you walk outside a movie. Not you to do a personality test. You don't need to do a three away in costa rica. You don't need to do that to know whether you like something you don't like them. You can do essential with yourself every who, day after doing inactivity and if you,

literally after you did anything giving you do stop and just ask yourself: do I enjoyed a yes or no simple question? So let's say I say: What did you enjoy about it? Let's have it and what did I do about it? More poverty where's uncomfortable, but you still got excited about these three simple. Questions, It can lead you to greater self awareness. I've done the same every area of my life and you should really become like an encyclopedia on your own lifelike if some years we would prefer a movie. It's like. I am a big fan of thrillers. My favorite direct and producer of all time is christopher. Nolan My favorite movement movies are memento, the prestige inception, interstellar downright trilogy, they're, all christian early movies is this. Your pattern in our lives in everyone has that pattern. We just have to look beyond the debris. That's all there the noise in the dirt that stopping us, because this summer, distraction, but that practice

self inquiry is, is really the definition of leading and examined life. Yet right hundred percent. Exactly and that's all we have to do that. We just have to ask ourselves questions. The problem is we are demanding the answer from partners the universe, our teaches people. We demand that. Why is this happening to me What's the meaning of this. That's not a question, that's demand and She is a genuine heartfelt request question is. Do I like this? Like that's a jet? A question is: is soft and power from the question is not allowed and weak and our questions are actually demur. That's what we don't find the answers, while their demands be also because their their foisted outward yes, if there turned in word, the questions become what what What is it? What is the fear that compels me to do that, like what? What child

wound my trying trying to solve by having this exchange, this person or making decision ex wires exactly and that's exactly demands or outwits questions are inwards. It's beautiful, absolutely let it so spent three years in the ashram. and you emerge- you make this decision to return. First of all, like you know, what was there a sense at some point that you were going to always stay there and if so, what changed yeah. So my my dream was that I would do it for the rest of my life and I believe that, as a monk I'd be able to write and teach and share and hopefully be able. Shit, I'm message anywhere and everyone where the where it, where are your parents? At this point I would mean in terms of how are they processing this I knew we describe. My parents is as very mutual. They ve been neutral participants in a beautiful way, and I mean that a good way I love my parents gave them. but being overly pushy and I've, never in overly encouraging.

they kind of always been neutral. It's a really weird situation to be into my parents. Don't massively celebrate everything I do, but they don't get upset when things don't go the way they thought it what is your mom's not asking you when you're going to go to medical school still? No, no! No! She knew I wouldn't get in that. I didn't go to my graduation ceremony, so I never got that picture of me holding the I graduated but never got the picture, and so my my parents we gave up on me. Maybe candidate states They gave in to me at that time when I decided to make this decision and then they were open to whatever happened, and I wanted to. There's my life and then do things happen. One was, I was really pushing it and and really testing myself physically, and I could see that my health, who is was stumbling from it because I was just like trinity the fast and meditated for longer in my most competitive ego, and also competition myself, my at constant wanted to test.

At the same time I started to feel like- and this was really tough like to admit it, and I dont think I admitted it then, in its only up enough to it. I think that my meditation and self awareness got me to a point where I realized. I wasn't a monk in the sense of that that wasn't my path, that I felt that I wanted to wisdom in a certain way that I to serve people in a certain way and a big part of me felt that wouldn't be realised through that I start that doesn't mean that I knew that one day we'd have billions views you're, that you know I like it. Wasn't it wasn't like numbers and it wasn't fame whose just like I feel this deep calling to be with you. Point seven this when share wisdom in this way and teach in this way in about movies in the way. I talk and I wanted to be immersed in mainstream culture and as a monk I didn't even know who won cut that year and I didn't I had no idea and so down. a big part of it and then my teachers also, I think, started to see that I definitely can

I self rebel and limiting becoming a monk is one of the most rebellious things you can do, because it's totally he society, but I think they could see rebelliousness in they could see that I wouldn't necessarily lost with that mentality is, among other things, a monkey comes with sense, sacred, sacred commitment, it's a sacred cow it meant what you're doing, and I think I realized they realized around the same time that that it was like that men. Then I didn't realize at the time I realized in hindsight- and so am. I said to me that he felt that I should leave. Second, share would have learned that time I hadn't yet admitted to myself, but I even knew what I would do and that really felt like a break up a really felt like he was like No, it's not you! It's me it's kind of like the a great more or less real. If more, like you

is condescending to you correct, like because I hadn't yet admitted it to myself. It felt like I'd failed and I think that's why what failure actually feels like when you have an admitted something to yourself? Is it feels like failure? Whereas now I look back and I go wow, I should have felt relieved. I should have felt like someone just opened up a gateway for me to to go off be myself and- and I didn't know that that so when I left, I was probably the most depressed. Day of my life, I moved back in my parents, everyone around me. Nothing. We told you so you would have. May care lay and then What is making it deciding to spend your entire life and when I think no one knows what made it mean for me, but it's it's. What I mean is it's that perspective of like oh, you couldn't even live as a monk like. Why would you come back or like Well, now, who's going to hire you now, and I heard that over and over again like how are you going to make money who's going to hire you who's, going to talk to you you be able to reintegrate, and it was hardly here.

that noise, as soon as you come back rather than like always have an area like it wasn't like a welcoming party and that's not my parents, my parents were very supportive, by the external noise yeah, I got it, you emerged from that experience with a very powerful tool box and its one? owing to implement in practice, those tools in the structure of a very controlled environment at the ashram verse is trying to take them into the chaos of the world? Can absolutely What was that reemergence process like and how do you think about the applicable Lady of that time was wise and that tool box in terms of We now have a gate, the vicissitudes of the modern age, while I even I myself that the tools I learned were known transferable. So in them in the immediate moment, even I even after having all our trading useless, I was say.

like what do I do now and and and it came from again the noise because I applied to forty companies and when I say forty companies I mean I send the more specific, taylor, reza maize, uncover letters and I go reject from all forty before income at age and seas and my retaining about lies are investment banks do when a year investment banks, financial institutions, consulting firm, striving in others, and that's just the universe. Doing you a favor ooh, but I didn't know that then I was like. I can't rely on my parents forever and my parents are not financially well off, for you know, so I can just bleach off of them, and I I need to figure out how to make money, I'm twenty six years old, and what am I going to do so? I was applying to companies that would have given me a job three years before and I'm struggling and I'm getting all these knows, and you have when using rejection after rejection of rejection, you really start to question: what you have, but I realized that those three years describing this, when the way you said that the three is being a monk were being at school,

and the last seven years since have left have been the exam I can genuinely say so far that every tool that I have tested from my monk talk it works and the biggest one on most most likely, the most powerful one that I fell is there's a beautiful and the money smithy I ate. I took part in a book and it says that when you protect your purpose, your purpose protect you know what I mean by that I will broaden purpose demean what it needs to mean vanni. One listening. You have to protect your strands calling your passion. You interest your skills, you have to protect them like a like a precious jewel, the whole world will come at you and tell you that it's not a jew the whole world will come at you and tell you that it's worth nothing and if you dont protected it can protect you of that. You back and most of us as soon as we get question we just chuck the jewel out. We ve checked, the way we go idea that wasn't worth anything and they

later on in life. You realize you throw away a precious jewel, so I love that worse, because that's what I was tests being tested doing. I was about to go so myself sure and you'd go back in but I came from and just check out the jewel rather than like hey. I learned all these things I wanted to serve. I became among because I wanted to serve. How can I I still serve. How can I not just throw that all out and pretend that it doesn't matter, and how can I apply the discipline and the mentality, and all of that, its skills, because guess what? When surprise surprise, wants to hire someone with monk on their resume for three years and that's what I had, because they couldn't see the transferable skills. I had to see them so David. Thinking. Oh he's, probably just going to be really quiet in the office like what is he going to do, but I knew that that choir, was intuition. I knew that that choir was solitude not loneliness. I knew that that quiet was the power that data ability to too to read things just reading between the lines to connect with people and so I ended up still getting a job accenture! That's the first thing. I did

was that it came about nine months ten months after I'd left the ashram for ten months I spent every day in the library, reading, spiritual books, spiritual texts like the bug, eater and then reading self development, books and business books and trying to reintegrate so I'd spent. I spent about ten it's literally reintegrating and then, when I get my job, I remember they did a induction day, and you know at at these big companies. They have these induction days where they try and do team bonding. So my first day of work was a pizza making class with all one hundred graduates had also been hired by the company. So I turn up at this pizza making class and I'm just like what am I gonna, do like I don't drink I'll, go I've never come back to drinking said a student rig. I was like I dunno if I'm gonna off the beats, is that we make and an how am I going to engage? How do I talk to people? and I remember, being really uncomfortable that day because I was I was

having to decide again who I was going to be Well that I knew I would have been before and now with everything else, islands. I remember this finding one or two people hang a really deep meaning conversation with them, and I found my people on a smaller group, whereas I think, if I'd gone before, outlining the loudest peasant in the networking, I was wholly different it and I'm still really friends had one of the guys that I met that day in and I love it, It's been its when it was real. Attention was an amazing experience, so accenture your job. Was it originally or did you morph into this role as kind of this social media person? There don't really understand how that what happened to I I started out as a as in as in journalist, I'm accompany where you just guess a typical jot. Why ramrod correction and what happened in its first year they run a competition where they were To choose a group of people to be trained by some socially media experts that they were working with

to try and build the social median digital department inside the company, because that was new than it was like a big big area of growth. At that time, and so thankfully I got into the twenty in the competition, and then I came on number one in the full competition and one, and so I got this and this coach not only became a coach from a professional standpoint. He became one of my closest friends named thomas power. He lives in london and he just I don't think he taught me everything about social media. I think he really opened them mind. You constantly push me to never settles if we made a breakthrough or something like. I gotta promotion of the company. He would never see that success. You two are: what's what are we gonna build like you? You would just be given gave me this mentality of just growth mindset, believing always possible and just being able to apply all the tools that I learned, and so I and creating this social media roll out essential where I'm creating

These content, I'm learning how the biggest brands in the world you, social media and working with executives on social media presence and understanding, twitter and linked in and just get exposed to this incredible world and that's where I get to learn skills right? So that's me sickly, yet you know the ashram for learning how to become this. Social media maven weapon unbent well knack for creating virology. Yet it wasn't that I never created viral content, what I was essential, but it just started opening up my mind to what was possible. it was just like all these are the tools feel uncomfortable with fate getting it wrong, it gave me a playground gave me an opportunity, and this is why anyone Listening in. to this. Why now watching this? In your work and accompany your company is giving you an open- unity to learn to grow to test. I learned so much about digital and strategy working at extension I could never have gone from reading a book or or going to a corset.

Because it was there like. I was I was there with every day with a company that was five hundred thousand people. is organization. So that's when, when I, when I here. The people were dissatisfied with jobs in their companies. My biggest question is: have you learned everything you possibly could from that place because the truth is new find a lot more meaning and passion in a place that you don't wanna, be it Because you realize it could be the answer in key to what you could do in the future and there is so much to gain yeah- that's a cool lands so. What's interesting about this. Is I didn't We fully understand like that. You kind of went into this corporate world before I thought you kind of were hired as a consultant after you already figured out all the social media stuff. They hired you for that purpose. So that's fascinating, but what I think is really interesting here is from an outsiders active looking in, it would appear That so many of these, these in a time

wisdom concepts dont square with living in the modern world like when we think of detachment, we think of asceticism when we go addition, we think of you know the zero sum game etc. But I think when you peel back the layers there, there. There really highly compatible some interesting kind of exploring yell it's time to take these ideas into the world and how they that's, how they inform and other info your decision making and kind how you you, you know see or so yeah I loved and is a big difference between us. the buggy would his point of view, but there's a big difference between detachment and indifference, and I think- in our limited minds. Sometimes we think that detachment means indifference or detachment means disconnecting and actually detachment means and an eye- and I quote: Is this incredible writer where he said that detachment?

doesn't mean that you owe nothing detachment means that nothing owns you and when you look at the text, through that lends means. Can I use everything that I have for a higher Can I use it and engage in rather than be consumed and used by now, granted that's a very high platform to live on, and it's not easy, but the point being that did is not indifference. That detachment doesn't mean. I don't want anything to do with this. It's actually. How can I use this for more than what is being used for right now? and that's what's known as by rupert swami ease, he quotes a about probably about five hundred years ago, he created and quaint a term call. You gotta be wrong here, which means using everything for our publish. So he talks about how real renunciation, real detachment real asset is. How can I use this for something more than myself and it's not about just getting rid of it? I love that prince, but I think that that's a very that's a very pretty

the principle that we can all employ living in the real world. So if detachments real, like we didn't, have bet right, we didn't have a place that we slept reset a different place every night, but if you're, not a monk- and you want to apply that same principle, this is how you think about it. You recognize I dont want to be in a position where I am concerned by everything another addition to detachment is detached from the result focused on the process. That's another definition: the buggy to that you're not attached to the fruits of your labour. But you're completely committed to the labour, the process itself and that and that we missed so often that we think being detach means not caring about what happens, actually means caring about the process and not caring about the result. So when we do my writing a book- and you know, you've read books and when you're writing a book, if you're writing a book, and all your thinking about is how many copies and they're gonna sell

now you're not going to write a good book now, you're dead out of the gate, totally you're dead straight away because all you're thinking about how many copies am I going to sell. Is this going to rank? If that's what think about your now, not present, which means you not gonna write good you're, a good but where's. If you are dedicated to the process, the result is a given the resultant natural end to dedicate the process. I fully having a process oriented mindset and yet rushed everything I do on the higher purpose peace. Yet what I find myself doing. Is is deluding myself a little bit or sure treading a little bit of denial like perfect example we're here during the podcast, now I can say- and there is a sliver of honesty and in this, that I'm doing for a higher purpose. I am like, when I sit down for these conversations, I'm trying to be as present as possible and and he's gonna deliver the best content that I can in service to the audience the same time, I'm profiting off

and I know that if I grow the audience that then I can charge me he took four hundred to let you know like sure there is a very self serving ass it s. Edison represent an and I'm always you know unsure. about how those two worlds like bought up against each other, so intentions are all percentages so what you just broke- you may have, and this is me everyone included, you may have a fifty percent pure motive and fifty percent in Your motive or you may have a seventy five percent pure motive, and you may be twenty five percent impure. The point is its process of purification, but guess what running way from it doesn't remove. The impure intention doing it humbled, seeing it fall apart, failing grow in being told you terrible and having to reprocess their dies. What purifies you so the belief if I want away from that, which brings me down you run away with it like it stays with

because it doesnt become purified and that's the processes if occasion that when you look at a money, glass of water, it needs to be purified, drinkable where the same we just get money, but with us what happens when you in the world, when you are you're getting cleanse dilah every day when you in the world, it is described in india as to a dirty elephants, the elephant goes and bathed in the water and then roll, the mud and then evades in the water and involved in the mud, and if any, does this will then? So that's what we're doing when we have impure and pure motives were doing both So when you are aware- and you stopping must we do so from what you just did was beautiful. You like this, I'm not in denial, I'm gonna, let myself delude myself and why with that great yourself. When you get closer and closer and closer to being able to do things with pure emotive and that may mean at some point the you like completely gonna detached from ads or spain ships whatever may be, but dont want just happen. If you stop that

his eye doesn't go away just because you don't extended eyes it will. The irony is that the more the more arrest minded I am, and the more pure I am in my approach better at all. Is that ends up being more enriching toyota me, so you can make the argument that that somebody should be selfless and in service for selfish motive. Split You can be like if I'd. If I'm trying to appeal to somebody who is a selfish person, appeal as well in service to people your life will improve. So even if you're doing it for selfish reasons, it's still the right thing to do hundred percent. Exactly that's it. hit the nail on the head, that's it that's, and if that's we'll get you started, hey, that's we'll get you start. So what trip you up or make now you're in the world you very successful it. You got a million things going on the books coming out your gear. Videos are you now you got billions of views and all this kind of stuff. I would imagine your life

is lined with with spiritual minefields. yeah! That's right, I mean you're be robbing tested, but you know what are they is that your facing, and where do you still find yourself tripping yourself up? What is it that you're continually having to revisit we're having the biggest test is so since I turned eighteen. I've always had my, to our meditation practice a day and when I was a man Obviously we did more that the majority of the quality of what happened in the day in the morning For me now with my crazy schedule, one of the biggest things being tested is my routine. My my depth, my quality and you know in in the modern world.

People may say. Oh you, meditate for two hours, my mom teachers would say how deep with those two hours like they don't care about the two hours. You know they they kept talking about depth and quality, not quantity. So for me the quality and quantity of my meditation is constantly being tested, because there are supposedly more important things that I have to do, whether it's social media, whether it's audience, whether it's writing, whether it's doing right instead of being and so my being, is challenged and to me is the the biggest thing that I have to watch out for constantly is when I'm traveling, I have to prioritize my routine when I'm moving around and I'm waking up later than I always am, or I'm on a plane for too many hours a day. I can't let go of that, and I think that I'm sharing that as a very real battle right now, because that's what I'm grappling with and so That's that's a big one, and I really think that my meditation is the easy.

The purity comes from leg. That's my boss! That's my purity! Barth everyday, like you, you monsieur bartlett, you smell it's the same war, its rigged out way. I mean all this all the being got you to this place. Where now you don't have time for the being because it provided you with so many gifts and opportunity to correct. So I'm just very I'm I'm I am saying this as much your question as I am for my own vigilance, the more I say days and, moreover, the laser the more vigilant I began Well goggins would just tell you to wake up earlier yeah, and you know like I mean that that's part of it, but I think it depends how and you may Finally, as I find that mentally creative careers or purposes are different and, and they require good sleep, and so I'm I'm a big believe, I'm a big believer in eight and a half hours of sleep, I sleep eight and a half hours a day, I'm sleeping before midnight, usually by nine thirty ten p m, to get my hgh to be max.

my son, I think people are now human growth home for anyone, one who doesn't know, I'm sure you hollowed into nobody sleeping after twelve years, Growth hormone is not having the moment that it could have, and so your limiting the quality of his sleep when you sleep after midnight, For me, I'm I'm I'm a big believer in figuring out. You So that's so that's one thing: that's one thing that, unchallenged by damn challenged by is and I'm gonna shoot em. I want to give you real ones that that I'm grappling with rather than obvious easy ones like all this, so many opportunities and want to say no to and stuff like that. Another one is, is finding spiritual community. So finding deep community, I think I've been very for chatting allies been good to me and we met him really amazing friends here, but I think I go back to india every year delivered amongst I take my wife is where we go together every year and that for me, is my reconnection to remind me of how important that practice

because even while I'm here, I'm andean arrive and melting everyday, I'm doing good, I'm doing it, and then you go back in wow like you know, there's so much more that I've totally may so that kind of awakening and humbling every year is really powerful for me, when you go and meditate with the experts and you're like oh okay, I get it yet. I've got a lot of work to do and I think that. Looking in the mirror and you can only look in the mirror when you're surrounded by people who were who are practising with greater depth, inciting die. that's a real challenges where live surround. Yourself with people who are you who are aspiring for the same levels of debt write, and it goes back you know it's a kind of reiterate your sliding doors yet example to the six as you had this blessing of being exposed to this monk at an impressionable moment in your life like had that not happened, your life would have had a completely different flavor to it totally and it it goes to this point of

you're not only seeking out mentor, but putting yourself in a position where your exposed to different ideas, like you can't model or become something that you are not exposed to yet exactly know yukon and then that's the biggest thing. Rightly we ve all heard it before you can be well, you can't see and- and I think we don't see. If we don't see enough of something, you don't realize how important it is, and that's why I mean the biggest the biggest monk approaches to everything are so powerful light. We took my routines. Monks have incredible morning, routines mindfulness and meditation practices. We know that you know. Some of them are successful. People in the world and you've interviewed some of them, and I've interviewed some of them and they've all got a deep meditation practice. You know breathwork is so powerful, like I'm I'm breaking this old down in the most syn ways of how even just self in service like that to me as a concept of how monks have their lives of half self half service. All of those is such a brilliant.

Foundation points of of how we can construct our lives to find peace and to end it to live with like their dirty simple constructs that we can all adopt clarity the super power for she has said by somebody. We both interviewed, you all know harare, lovey ray. I also has a strong headed. geneva civil egos initiated What did he do? Sixty? He was telling me we were talking just before and he he told me he used to be sixty is it now, because it is busy schedule. So there's your anti daisy exert every night. I love that about an and he will tell you and I'm sure he told you as well, that his books are a product of our practice. Lawyers because He requires that level of solitude to develop the clarity, that's a necessary to write his books, which really are these ten thousand foot perspectives on how we live today and it's one thing to

be out of a person of meditation or in an arch wrong where your stripped away of those distractions, but we live in a world where the noise is overwhelming and the dust actions are not only omnipresent there. There specifically constructed to be as highly addictive as possible, and this is an interesting dynamic, because your work choirs. You too have distance from those things, but you lovers those mediums to basically pursue you now to have. This clearly have yeah and I think that it's a it's a beautiful thing, because the tools gonna go away. and social media is not going to go away so learning how to use it effectively like I was just listening the other day. I really want to interview him too. I was just I watched until your jake joke J call the other day I mixed him up with a football plenty, but J call the rap music, fantastic and I was watching

he's very reflective and- and he was saying that he took a break from social media to get away any I realize when he came back, nothing went away and this was the point that I'm making that learning how to engage is more important than disengage. And this is something that MR dissing aging is the first step to read. Engage more effectively. It is not the step and the final step, and I think a lot of good disengagement as the achievement of the final step. When actually disengagement is the beginning step of effective re engagement it makes sense yeah they like that, and I think that that's the mistake people make people say. Oh, I went on my social media seven day fast. I'm gonna be brilliant when I come back no because you haven't still figured out how to re engage, came a monk it disconnects. Let me from the noise but my re engagement into society has been more powerful because of that connection, but not seeing the disconnection is an end and so

When you decide to disengage from anything, learn that actually re engaging is the skill you want to develop. When you learn at a reengage reconnect renew, like when you can do all of that effectively. That's when you win the battle suffer me what else. We engage with social media is. First of all, I am a create not a consumer I consume but to create, or I created dont consume. So what I mean by that is when I come on a social media, I'm going to share or to infuse energy. I dont go there to get energy. and if I go there to consume it, to learn to create better, that's a very clear rules for me: I'm a consumer of say or non scrolling and looking at what everyone else assess nine and unintentional way like I may follow. You deceive you ve interviewed someone and, unlike our reach, us tat. We- good question. I would ask that question. I can ask you from this angle citadel. Oh my audience right like that's that human to create or all

For that reason, guess maybe I should reach out to meet that kind of life, and so I think, being a consumer is important to being a creator, but it is not consuming just randomly and unintentionally, if I'm being random on social media. Mediates intentional back I'm going random to see what comes up on my feed because I want to see. What's winning so that's one point, the other, area that I made is me and my wife created no technology times and zones in the home and we break this all the time. But but it's good rule. So we decided that we would not have phones and- and I recommend is their phones in the dining room of the bedroom, because it's more fun to eat and sleep with people who don't you know, don't ruin those spaces where there's time for binding and connection in conversation, and I think most people these days, I sing in their beds on their phones on.

Vices and then go to bed right rather than talking or reflecting on the day or asking someone how their day was whatever it is that you want to do so, I feel like creating barriers in times of really help me, and even if I fail it sometimes and don't always following its delay, a useful thing to have, the thing I have is, I make sure this is changed. My life just turn. Looking your phone in the morning like dad. the morning. Time is so powerful. So I wake up at six on my best days. In that's my mind, generic across the board five days a week and I dont look my phone into eight fifteen when I go down to the gin, because I'm editing in the morning and I've got my my personal practices, that, just not looking at the phone in the morning, you're already now not starting the day as a consumer you starting the day, is a creator. I think I heard you said if you locked your phone in your car. It's true, it's a true story, so I lit that was when I came back from being a monk. So when I came back from the usher, when I moved back to my parents,

to leave my phone and my laptop in the car locked in the trunk outside, because I knew I kept downstairs. I would trick myself into going yet it even after three years at the arch, even after three years at the ashraf, because that's our stuff, this stuff is design, but again it was dizzy. aging, to learn how to re, engage and re engagement means rules. You have to set rules for yourself. You have to set rules that you can follow and rules that you can commit to and I think the simplest one for me is, if you don't, like, and I don't know how you live, but I live. There can have my money, if he's very scheduled by the minute the hour, even if it's free time or reflection tat I like living like that, because it doesn't give me an excuse. I don't really have many gaps in my day where I can just aimlessly do stuff. What takes the decision fatigue out of everything correct, I mean one hard and fast rule that I have that I break fresh forget. It really. Is

schedule, anything for twelve nice, yes, my morning time is meditate. journaling and then I go out, and I train and that's usually that's that's my solitude- that an active version of meditation that involves trail running urge you know gone swimming or whatever I'm doing, but I give myself like that he's very indulgent to most people, and I have the privilege of being self employed, so I can do that. I understand most people can't do that, but adhering to that rule. Like I know, people say how can you do this conference call at nine and the more I like? Not I'm not available until twelve? Sometimes I I you know, I have to ban out or whatever, but by making that kind of up parameter Ghana, priority that's improve my life yet tremendously. Exactly yet it's beautiful- and I think that, like you said if there are people out there who can't make those decisions may be in the past, but that you do have so if that for you, if you don't do anything before nine m with, if you

idea you don't do anything on sunday What do you know whatever days like find your many version of that and see how that changes, your life, you may not be able to do it to the degree of saying I'll. Never do anything before that time, but You can do it one day a week for an hour, a can do for ten minutes a week like that, and I feel like the better. We use our time the more time spends for us and I think we ve all time is living? it because we often don't use our time effectively. Yeah one thing: wanted to touch on with you is this idea of element in I remain an energy area yeah, so talk about how their there either three things that we're all missing in our lives or went away. its self awareness, so the first is our element. That to me as your your dharmu, your passion, your calling as when you feel your performing at your best. It's what what what power

what power situation, but not not external, but what power mode do you find yourself in? So I love being in this mood. I lump speaking on stage. I love reading studying and learning. I love writing olive synthesizing. Like that's my power mode, that's my element, I love being an element now that with figuring out your dharma, your passion, new purpose and everything. We spoke about this can the area environment is why environment. Do you thrive in now? The reason why I fell in love with your home is because I love solitude and I love silence, and I love being alone and right now, just me and you and I was just like wow. This is really nice, and so my I have an office for my team, but I

but from my home office, because I don't like being around lots of noise and people in any manage all these people yeah exactly but driving the big social media machine. Then it's hard, and so you know- and I'm still- and this is what I mean by this- is a challenge right. Do you protect your purpose or do you give in? This is exactly it's like. I have to work from because that is who I am I I love being alone to create. I need time, I need space, I need I don't I I can't deal with too much distraction. I don't enjoy it, and so I have had to craft my life in a way to do that, and I and just just to clarify when I was an essential, I did not have my own office, I didn't have a corner office, I did not have any office. I worked on the floor and I was able to do this then by putting on my headphones By being very careful about who I spoke to him, who I connected with or finding a space where I could build my own, so you can call these spaces to even if you don't have them but environs.

It's really important to know what environment you thrive in because I think for most of us, our environment is just something we accept based on what we get and we're not good at Croft. environment could be something symbolise playing song, it could be having the right background on your desktop, because it brings you to life he could be having crystal. Finally, this is an environment when I walked into those like ah boxing crystals, my country my kind of table, you know it's, I there's so much did this an environment and everyone can create the environment, whether there an office desk with their own cubicle, whether there on the train, you have to create an environment. And finally, what energy do you vibrate and what I mean by that is. You can look at as simple as fast pace, energy or slow energy, but you can also look at it as frequency of do you, succeed, and are you more choice, when you are around people die, teaching you and guiding you? You succeed in an energy that is where your teaching knowing your energy,

power is so important that I feel for so many people there, and She is low because they constantly in low energy spaces so places like bars and restaurants every day. Of course, you feel tired, of course, useful exhausted, what you don't energize in the morning, for we want and worst ways to end the day, and we think that its de compressing and actually know it's just depressing for our heads like there's. No decompression did you depression that comes because you just get exhausted, and A body in your mind, are now dealing with what called cognitive load because your mind in a bar nor any trying to listen to the person talking to you, your mom, is trying your brain is trying to process all the other clotted sound, because it's true make sense of it now guess what Brain doesn't realize for a long time that there is no sense in it because it still trying to process prices processes gain drained

and so you have to know where energy thrive in and if you need a day to take care of your energy every week. You have to invest in that. Well, I think serene those questions are grappling where, like what is the energy in which I thrive. What environments suits me? What is my element of this goes back to self awareness. Tell anyone you eat. I think, if you ass, most people what kind of environment you thrive best in, I would venture to imagine that most people aren't really sure didn't answer that I don't know and my answer to that. Is that that's what I expect and that's? Why I'm encouraging that, because I'm not trying to give you the, This is for you, because I don't know, and I caught no and no one can know, but what I do know is that if you ask yourself the right questions more often you will vote. Quickly find out just like everyone knows whether they like mexican food or not the same thing then it's not complicate like it's really that simple. If you know when you like mexican food or not, ok, you mention where do you live burritos talk, as you know, the answer to that I did not complicated and it's the same with

energy and environment and element is no one's ever asked us. No one's ever asked it. if ever energy, imagining on the first day and seven, goes to you one. Why marm india's I've known ass ever lost whatever color, you ve food, which if a movie star, applying that same questioning, to how you live. Your life eyes asked about people, you mean when you You little, I remember I, given a very interesting offer once by a very wealthy individual and and I remember, and it would have been very lucrative for me- and I remember coming back from that evening and speaking to a very dear friend of mine,. And he was like how did he go, because I was very excited for that meeting. It was very early in my career. I was very excited for that meeting. I didn't think I'd ever met someone of that caliber before and who is. It was quite a moment for me, so I told him how excited I was when I, but when I go back, he said to me like, so how do you go, and I said I said I don't think I'm going to work with him and he was like why not,

sounds like an amazing opportunity. It's lucrative everything as I I just didn't, vibe with his energy like there's just something about it. That just had him feel like. I felt like if I failed he'd he'd say I told you so and if we won then he'd take the credit, and I just that's not the kind of partnership. I like I like punishers, which a win win marisa point each other and so so easy to judge that. But you forget that if you don't yourself when you walk, how should we will get a parties we taught by the food and drink? We talk about what people wearing all useless information. We really Oh, do I like hanging out there or do I know like hanging out there? Do I feel energized or do I know those are much better, since the us, then how did you like our shoes, expanding that level of self awareness to better understand how other human beings operate is incredibly valuable, especially if you're in a relationship like it here. Somebody who, who you don't need solitude like you say that doesn't mean that the person that your with thrives in that time,

I claim that person may need something different and being while there like a rock that, will provide you with incredibly powerful an important relationship tools to maintain our relationship. Otherwise, if you're expecting them you process in the way that you do you're setting yourself up for a lot of problems executive for me and my wife, it's a really good point resume. I am really glad you raised that for me for me and my wife she succeeds in I, when she's around her friends and family, and I succeed and thrive when I'm when I'm on my own in her on my own in terms of a creative way and so we know that when I want that time, that's when she you It goes back to london and spend time with a family or when she must go spent on the family in london or has a friends over That's what I'm gonna get more time to do that, and so we found that we both require very different thing, but we ve tried in our relationship to time then her for me. me for her time them at the same time that we both get that

and so I can return let alone like. I just want a new york for a week, but she was here. Friends. It moved into a place for for a week with her. You know it sites, it's it's finding out the things that work and and its use supporting them to have that, our men, and they support you to have your environment rather than like using or well I liked being alone. You should be ok being alone to like it, and we both know that doesn't work there, yeah, respecting that and also you're, standing that that person as their own independent experience and and and I and being in a place where for a healthy but a healthy place? Where you're, trying to support that person in their own personal self actualization journey as opposed to making it like a blue to your own journey, important right like yeah, it's important to be to have your independence within a relationship and not be overly defined by the other person. How hundreds

nay, I couldn't can agree more and I think with with couples, That's the change. We look for similarities in likes and dislikes. You know when you, when you dang someone or your meeting someone yours like? Aren't we like same few? Do we like the same things? Do we like being alone to be both like this new look for likes and similarities, and quite superficial things that are not actually relevant to the quality of relationship watch. What really the high quality of our relationship is due have the same likes and dislikes as to how build a relationship in terms of your values about religion, about value. Here I mean it, you can be me, my wife mark politely different in so many ways of doing. A lot of people are shocked the her it works in, and am you we'd better go for twenty years? That answer this amazing it a few things out, but it's because we our core values, even though, from you know, and from a surface perspective, we look very different

yeah, I'm cool values, not just from the point of view of the deeper thing them would you both, but I'm in core values of how you view a healthy relationship like me and my wife, both a healthy relationship as one where we support each other to reach our own goals. That's a value in a relation shit. It's my images, devalue another value of oz is that we both know that weak, trust each other that we always acting for each other's benefiting right. That's it. Allie, we both share that we both share the value of once used. upon it. It's done. We both have their so when we for about something. We disagreed about saying where we going got to sleep the next day we not bringing back up is as as ammunition it's gone and we both have devalued before we met and so it goes a relationship, values and that's what you need Is that a similar or not just values in all? We both value spirituality? That's that's there, but this is a deeper level of that yeah. It's not about.

Avoiding conflict or not arguing or not. Having different invites over things. It's about how you process that and communicate to get to the other side and in a red minimize the half life you. I mean I mean John gottman who's, whose institute is amazing? Yeah he's he's been to the gottman institute. I haven't been yeah and I met him at a conference that we both spoke, and I cant wait to have him on my podcast, but jungle. It's done all the research on relationships and he talks about the number one skill needed too. Have a long, lasting relationship is not date nights. It's not walks on the beach. It's not flowers, its learning, how to fight and when I read that in his work cautiously so true. I love that because, you are going to fight them. You do know how to fight and joy This bears love languages were gary chapman, so beautifully explained. I believe that there are fight land is- and what I mean by that is there a fight responses for language

that you naturally have to, for example, my wife's fight language. Is she likes to be quiet, reflect and think and not talk about things until she processes? My fight language is totally the opposite. I want to figure out right now. I want to open up one extrapolate on a break it down. Guess what the beginning of our relationship that really didn't work, because she was quiet. Why you choir? Why? telling me what's going on, have I done something wrong and I'll? Be forcing ETA sherry and then she would share prematurely and feel like she said something she didn't mean now and now I'm upset at what I forced me to share with me, and so we really are to learn it in this fight languages. I've learned the filing five languages better than mine, and to now protein. Is she need space? I need space I'm back together and discuss a worm above ready and sound basic? so many relationship issues occur because people's fight languages don't match mindful fight mindful five five or lying? Is there is the antithesis of mindfulness in the sense that you're, you're, being reactive and

Oh man like something comes over us and we're just where does spouting whatever and were repeating these recursive patterns that are embedded deep within us and to the extent that you could take a step back and deploy why the skills that you learn through adaptation- and the experiences that you had on this are to create distance between you impulse and the next best move your taking out an insurance policy for a better outcome. Absolute- and here I agree with her really well said. While I appreciate you come in here to tourism in Europe, inspiration to me and millions of people out there. The content that you're putting out into the world is definitely raising me. The vibration. Consciousness and that's all we need. Now more than ever, we need a bridge these gaps and learn how to communicate long form. Conversations are one way to do it

the videos in and everything that you kind of you now produce as as really like a spiritual offering to the world I think is, is give so thank you for that and I'm excited to see how Look is received by the world and in what you decide to do now, my friend and you ve, always gotta, welcome see across from here. Command. I was just going to say you have been school today and how to host a really good I've done it. If I might imagine, this has been a lot of fun and its yeah, you your brilliant, to talk to me I really explode so many things today. So thank you. So much for helping me ray splore and I'm learning question. So many of my believe some value, sir, I appreciate anyone who can help me do that. I expanse the book is think, like a monk available everywhere support your local booksellers, but you can also, of course, always get it on amazon. You can learn more about J, a j, shetty dot me he's a beast on facebook, which is interesting because it's like I thought we were done with facebook, but you're like huh

on facebook. That's a whole other part. Can just google J shadow. You can find him everywhere. Thank you so much with the issues I would entail, but being vague, and we did it Next year, next, that are everywhere a lot more. We should do more together regularly right, not as great as well our job security.