Iran v Argentina v Ecuador: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fourteenth episode of International Factball - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football.
Today in this never-before-tried three-way special, Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia), James Harkin (@eggshaped) and Freddy Soames (@fsoames), pit Iran against Argentina against Ecuador to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hello and welcome to no such thing as a fish presents international fact ball. This is the only podcast out there. That makes absolutely no mention of football. Despite being a football podcast brought to buy
the cure I elves in association with visiting lynn dot com. My name is dancer,
I I'm sitting here, would Freddy sums james hearken and annexes and ski and we're about to play the penultimate match in our competition, and it is a triple heather
a rare football occurrence doesn't happen too often. Buds happening right now in which a ran argentina and ecuador are about to battle off in a three have man
So let's begin the first whistles about to go matches about start and it's a raft planning.
sing about around ok. What do you think was the most popular tv show in iran in two thousand and two who crystal maize then that yeah, the answer was baywatch
They wandered david hassle office, so big around the world here only just hearing about him in certain places, while this is two thousand,
Satellite tv first came to IRAN and baywatch was all the rage. Why is that not quite surprising that its?
out? I'm not
show how allowed it was actually but yeah people watched it nonetheless, kay
partly satellite tv is now banned in IRAN? Is it because of baywatch? Is one of the David house laugh until this guy's? Not for us out of here. I read that in iran the sums up, don't do it really,
mean what you wanted to me. What does it mean? It roughly means by like this.
ones written this sentence as the rough meaning sit on my palace, ass, all sorts of things, but there is the rub:
leaning over thumbs, it's it's the same. It goes right. Gonna spend nigeria parts of ITALY and greece as well sums up. Doesnt mean what we think it means exo. Speaking of the phallic thumb has thought cemetery. Doesn't it on the border of tat menaced on? It's got the phallic cemetery, which is big tourist attraction. Iran now and no one knows,
Why is there? But there are hundreds of gravestones and all in the shape of why the penises or like breasts or genitals of some. So I like to know if my nose wanted so it's a cemetery for paint.
Is separated from the body representing an ancient cemetery. They don't know very little has been done and it was only documented first in the seventies, but I think people are quite nervous about research into occur because IRAN, as a conservative country in a lot of ways- and they have this whole massive cemetery penises hanging out-
amazing the other buried
p, that just just out of pride just having a gigantic calves and, most recently I little shrivel exactly. I need tiny little casket. He died on a cold day. Will speaking of body parts, IRAN is the only country in the world to have like a regulated legal organ, trade and your
to sell your own kidneys, it's only for iranians, they say you can't go, thereby kidney but there's quite a big thing about it, because I'm there's a lot of them.
To around the hospitals. Now, then, you get people advertising their blood type and, like a phone number, seeing call them up in a bike.
If you feel what a while, I was sort of like an ebay for kidneys, can we sell aka needs to IRAN's or is like foreign, his bundle together, because I actually have not been paid enough? I can. I need something to refugees. May henrietta slay the looked deserts. I like it's an area of IRAN, it's so extreme. The temperatures are so high that, if you put milk in the middle of the desert, the it won't turns sour, because the bacteria can't live
I saw it stay sterile, wow, that's sense! What useful? That's why you keep my milk urim complex would be quite one year and is alone: can you for a cup of tea, but even so yes go the highest
go to tat, which I think has its right could define us a hundred, fifty nine fahrenheit or seventy one celsius for the modern. Among you, things that were invented in IRAN. Yes, ok, windmills, really
yeah, partly the oldest known when we mills we have from IRAN human rights there invented by cyrus the great around five hundred bc? What's now known as iran other I? What does that mean? He drew up the fast kind.
human right, yeah, how's of human right now and also a pulse day. They also have the world's oldest wine from his arms five thousand bc. They
around six two and a half gallon jaws is an unrealistic village in IRAN's northern zine gross mountains. Oldest, why seven thousand year old wine and apparently still quite delicious really here. I think it will be
like vinegary gonna. That air depends if they kept in the same circumstances as milk thing.
The right way. It is the main wine producing region is assurance region and they produce arouse wine, which was a white wine, totally unconnected to assure us,
we know today the red wine from the roan region snow, the same grape unconnected. There are
How may be sure ass came over from IRAN, but it seems like those. We are fast approaching half time
so if you have any arrangement facts, I haven't. We, as I have a good one government and they try to make the world's largest ostrich some, which ostrich sandwich YAP. It was going for a world record for the guinness book of records largest ostrich sandwich, took two days to prepare the sandwich. A huge measuring tape run across the length of the table, but before they could measure it, people rush bullets.
Wheat, it you getting so literally like guinness, is arriving ready to like take this down as a
records. They have nvidia, but they didn't do the official measure because people let it before they could do that. I've got one last thing g. I guess it's actually illegal to add a tie in iran because it it's a symbol of american condom encroachments on the nation. Your member mademoiselle was rife
This was three be suit and he wore an open next shirt at all times with the north career about it doesn't hear less less highbrow than ties that most commonly so detergent escobar detergent, barf ba aura ba, I fear vomit detergents.
That's it. I get there. We as the half time whistle and now it's time for our half time show which comes in the form of a cue. I quiz brought to you by visiting lend dot com, and we have two questions for you in this half and they are starting with you, Freddy. My question is: what does MR chicken
common with David cameron, ok and second question. My question is so bury is full for long. He lives in new
He said he has had a poem worsen about him by a rabbi. What is he ok?
if you want to find out, they asked us those questions you can have to stay june for the end of the match. What will be were reading them there, but in the meantime, let's head back to the field for the second half of our match, and it is our joint tina
argentina? Ok, let's go facts and its to do with a bold? No. I know I'm very sorry about this, but is very quick. It's that the very first rule book on football published in argentina said the player who had been filed could choose to accept an apology from the fowler. Instead,
involving the referee in the situation, which I would that would make all modern football, so much more interesting to watch a negotiation process going on on apology, a shaking of hands and by the time, the referees they are not schoolmate. We yet that's my football fact, normal football, sorry so, argentina, since nineteen. Forty four is at an average rate of inflation of two hundred and five percent, and since nineteen sixty nine its dropped off about thirteen zero from its currency, which means the argentinean pessimism
about one ten trillions of what it was worth back. Then yeah really plummeted, santa claus and just really plummet. It's gone downhill fanny.
Yeah really is. I never heard anyone say a trillion about any of that ridiculous. Exaggeration context. If there are five year old used to be the eighth wealthiest country in the world about nineteen hundred and even argentina,
argentina was yes, there is
just as there is argentina lately of selling ferrets on steroids and discussing them as expensive little dogs,
people in banquet love money for what they think are toy poodles in two hours may turn out to be ferrets in their given stairways when they born to make them bigger, and then they get really fluffed up uneasy pictures of new kind of like a child, but they mainly that, like a really fluffy big ferret and there have been complaints about. That's not so
prize has been completely fair. It's a brutally aggressive as well are used by this cute little yeah each you our and then suddenly attacks your small joy. I don't jump merchants and who was on one of these ellie upon us. He used to have pet ferrets and he said they were the best pets. You can have a room at the wheel.
Loving, apparently, when happy ferrets may performer
routine, known as the weasel wardens, which is characterized by a series of hops and frenzied attempts to bump into things which is so no
on fishing, and you, too are very similar to jail missions. I didn't know that shape rivero was argentinian. By did you guys know that he was he used to be a journalist for
be magazine, Moscow yeah. He was it. He was a massive rugby union fan any was a player as well in buenos aires play for three clubs. Any founded a magazine for rugby could tackle and ran.
Three months between may in July, nineteen fifty one he was the sole contribute
in my view that, as well as the editor and was accused by the police, are spreading communist propaganda in some of the articles when he commented on the class system, indifferent, argentinian rugby teams,
So where are you guys are running out of time here? The whistles about to go we're heading towards a second half time of the match
moments. Does anyone want to surrender?
before we go to argentina, the largest well settlement outside of wales. It's the tribute to region. It was settled by the words in the late nineteenth century.
And ten percent of its population have particularly in welsh as a first language, and I think about a third of its population- speak patagonian welsh as those economic giant, and it's got six newspapers. Nothing. Two of them are in
no way mel, gordon Dana people thing lush, that's wonderful! I hears here's another fact.
The male argentinian lake Doug, has forty two inch. Penis
well already, two edged behind his impressive is getting an impressive gravestone. If it's in iran
there's the whistle. That's the end of that half of the three halved match, and now it's time for a second half time show which once again,
brought to us by visiting lynde dot com and it comes in the form of another question in that's from you, james, ok, just one question for this. Second half the world's first duck show took place in eighteen, thirty.
Nine in newcastle. What was controversial about the winners? It was a fairy
Ok! Well, if you gonna find out the answer to that question, and the two previous questions from the first off half time then staged by the end of the match, where we will be revealing all the answers I case and now it's times ahead to the third half of our match. Yes, screw you that idea, it is ecuador, ecuadorians, prior to two thousand and four
a renowned for being late according to their own country that countries like guys everyone's ways. You light
and the lateness, supposedly cost ecuador two point: five billion a year, so what they did was in october, two thousand for everyone sinks
eyes. Their watches at noon
This was the mark of the beginning, with national crusade against lateness. Be noted that the crazy, like doors nature, has its own constitutional rights and ecuador really is the nature. Has the right to exist, persist, maintain and regenerate its vital cycles, structures, functions and processes in evolution? Does nature like seats in parliament know what this thing it has rights, but no responsibilities,
good, but in return nature, moto, NATO's, no earthquakes! That's great
those alone scientists in ecuador in two thousand and ten looking for new species, and they found a gecko, so small can punch on top of the pencil.
The new species of snail sucking snake. Apparently they said the
They went that you could. If you go to any one spots in echo,
you can sign twenty or thirty species of frogs, and if you go to the next, I tell that you'll find a whole bunch of different months, just loads and loads of frogs and ecuador. Ah, they ve also got the world smallest or
which is extraordinary, the personal spotted it because the world smallest orchid, is just two point. One
le meters wide while cars and
petals one cell thick that so small that it be great, be great excuse valentine's day. When will you can say
to you your girlfriend, a boyfriend when there's a demagogic anything you, nobody told by boat you, a forest
good orient orkut their tiny, tiny, gecko balanced and of the tiny ok of dollar decorum ecuadorean present
He released a cd called a crazy
and who loves
an actual album I've after waiting his presidency once invited loretta bob it too
ecuadorean, thus a woman who cut off her husband's pain. She was an ecuadorean women, John wayne, Bob, it's wife was ecuador and she was the one who very angrily lopped off the penis of of John
not also be found in the iranian graveyard. You would have.
that would be the sort of each of the thing about abdalla cairum. It's quite good is he
causing national scandal by serenading the winner of the international miss banana contest. Yeah. Ok,
I read that and I can't for the life of me work out why I didn't look into what the hell. The miss banana contest is. What is its just a bit
it s like this. Just to celebrate bananas answers to promote them, miss banana contest. I deaf we want to take it to the next missed banana, say: dv gaze
winner them as banana contest. Bonanno, a woman, a woman is a woman is not, but I dont know thou be leading. It would be an even bigger scandal if the president was serenading bernard yeah, on ecuadorean politicians in politics in nineteen, sixty seven in the town of pick, a lotta in ecuador, the people of cigarettes are elected, a brand of foot powder as man. It wants the marrow election. It was about a cooled, pull that pays and it was meant to be a tongue in cheek pr campaigns.
It was like elect for poor babies to get rid of him. Rancid foot oda won the elections. I do know how many people notice it maybe color a boring fat.
You know the andean countries is very popular to chew coca leaf right in its economy
simulated emmi knows his what used to make a cane, but it some big problem, because in the war on drugs they want to burn all the code.
the plantations, but is also massive part of undine culture, so they room still
just chewing coca leaf to conduct cells awake at night and do whatever the other andean delicacy airspaces is guinea pig you are. You can have it in a couple of
ways, but I've had a stick in the nice
It tastes noise, silence like a guinea pig lollipop, exactly the cheeks are the best bet they did. I read that I remember
in the bosom of painting somewhere of the last supper, whether eating guinea pigs, wholesome yeah labelling. Does the cultural and artistic cottages
ecuador and poet called jose hockin del all nato and there's a statue of him in ecuador, and but it's not actually him. They couldn't afford to me,
can you statue, and so they got second hum one depicting lord byron apparently
Look I load borrowed. It was just another poet know it and what, like him,
echo hero lord Byron. A couple of years ago, a bunch of young ecuador attempted to enter central.
Euro into the election and send your brow was mister donkey. He was a donkey. Sadly, he was
allowed to enter, but there was a big movement to get him very well. The donkey wasn't aloud when sir, but the foot powder was, I guess times of change. We learn from our mistakes
that was a thousand ten year. Wasn't the re election of the minister for tuna? Don't leave us is put out. Ok, that's the end of the third half of our match, but before we find out who is come out on top, is the winner
let's get the answers to our visit england dot, com quiz. We started with a question from you, Freddy. So the question was: what does MR chicken having common with David cameron, and the answer is that they both lived in number? Ten is ok, so england, like MR donkey, had a revolution
How are the biggest success in presuming know what she was? It was MR chicken, a guy who lived in downing street in the early eighteenth century in which poland
to commit them to move out to take over. That was a real political, coop. Ok question number through that was yours anna. Yes, so I told you that Barry is for foot long. He lives in new key and he's a poem written about him by a rabbi bury is a foot, long reef worm and he was found a new key aquarium. He wasn't supposed to be that they saw him poking out and they haven't. You had to dig up all the rocks and uk aquarium found this hideous
one a and finally james your question. Yes, my question was about the world's first doc show in newcastle in eighteen. Fifty nine, my question
was what was controversial about the winners. The winners would judged by MR juggling, MR braille, spurred on were dogs belonging to Mister Brett,
Would MR juggling very controversial pages, knew a lot about dogs further. Judging the shoe oversee noted about dogs gesture, he raised a prize winning doug okay, so.
likewise there on their prizes. For that, however, if you do want a prize, if you want to win a cue, I book or a t shirt or had had over the visiting lynn dot com where you can enter competition to do so, but now it's time to find out who has won the penultimate match of our international fact. Ball was it iran? Was it argentina or was it ecuador and eyeing and go to James? Ok, I think of those
I'm gonna go at quit or how come just like the idea of everyone setting their watches. At the same time, oh yeah, to solve lateness. Yeah, ok, will that we go ecuador has come out on top, and if you heard this pod cast a new thought, hang on a second, it should have an iran or it should have been argentine or hang on the who the hell does a three hopped matched to begin where you can get in contact with us ask any of those questions on our twitter handles mine is at schreiber land, Freddy, F, soames. James that egg shaped- and you can get me on quick, a pdf or email podcast at collide dot come ass tag, get anyone twitter, ok, that's it for today's match. We're gonna be back against more with our fight
much of the international, factual competition and james, that's gonna be the final two countries. South korea thus is gonna, okay, so that others can be a good one hour I'll catch. You guys some our thanks around for listening, good bye
Transcript generated on 2022-06-21.