« Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 457 - Honey Dipz (feat. Tim Butterly & Naim Ali)

2023-08-26 | 🔗

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Go to Philly Comedy Fest - Sunday Sept 3

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Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com

YO. We're here, don't fret. As you know, Big SG took a trip to the motherland. Hopefully he kissing the soil as I type this. Anyways, you know Matt would never leave you hanging in the Kahuna's absence. We got a scorching HOT cast with our best bros Naim and Tim. Please enjoy. God Bless you all. 

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Damned if I had a dream is that you need to chill yeah welcome to the mother fucking pod dude long. Do you know yet another weak dude of just gallantry pure fuckin, using three. men, do in his dream, is eating their extreme sit in slow motion goal celebration. This is what this, What year did? Did you? Why are you so title this? Damn shit yo, he wrote the edge of the joint. With the being I mean it is what it is that the lip stall what's your real name of dim over the mother dragon pie, this is going to be a common man thanks for coming, as you change in ireland, I figured what the hell dude it's friday, visiting the motherland business. All I told her to tell his family to kiss the ground for me and my kisses
how you gonna have some dirt. I gotta you know I wasn't getting that machine, laugh Ellen, that was a funny thing of me to say yeah dude, what the fuck is up, not much man I had if I had to peel myself away from video games to be here. I've been in armor of armour core lately yeah way tat. I punishment speed, running videos. Does the history or castlemaine is running? Is now why someone plays a video game as fast as they can have you been If the game you're a normal person you're like fuck, yeah dude, I beat a video game magic beating a video game like I can do that faster. Okay used to compete in that like, if, like when, remember zelda ocarina of time when the game came out me- and my friends was like YO who are going to be- first were cool. Now. Imagine that a lot is at our biddeford. I've got that a final converse
poison within our scientific advice? It do you you will. was it over then you have you been let everyone carrying his lie. The whole time. I know nobody knows this until this now I'll now never emitted every day. I too am sorry worthy. Sorry, Michael Barnum are using a badge alot about that Will this be drawn down. I've forms here about this. I know you could lie about out. I thought it is physically impossible. I may deep lie Does it really is like an enchanted like areas forest ever made it to the ended the game before all of them did I just didn't, beat the final boss. So during my first sitting with swizz, he beat the final boss. I really was like jealous, but I was like how did that already? It's a catch. The fuck up already it'd be like. How did you end up doing like what was your man? I did ask him and then I went back. I actually didn't even know how to do it.
how to beat him, but what it? Why did you do to specifically that pretty much how I did it last week there they are, well a lot. Is it that there were two different ways to beat them? There's not there's not, there's only one way to beat this boss. If you told him, you did the other way, you're like yeah. You did that, but at like yeah, I distracted him on this side, and then we just kept them from behind Eli. Didn't even think about that. Even working on his back, you can't do their job. Well, that doesn't even seem possible the way I did it. Maybe you'd like to show a trailer you're. Like me, fucking celebrate: If you, though, all glad glee sixty four is overheating, the wish probably turn it. So we are not the guy MA am the logic behind the items I gotta go to leave the ant video game lying. Is
a very specific form of lying at it ill. So nice, it's one of the first temptations, foremost storks. True, the video, may I felt it yeah, I know. Have you ever been been tempted videogame? Why, over sure, I still I mean I'd still do until I get both feet out of video gaming and I'm still kind of like in the trenches all the time. There's just invitations will be like oh yeah. I killed the boss on the first try yeah technically you almost did, though I almost almost I almost did take down the armor corps. Six, because your thing really crashers at a video game live video is your. Is your thing to present myself as a virtuous and honest man, and there is video proof of this happening there's a video approve of the black screen occurring. This did the audio continuously I mean. Did I have nothing to do I myself did you have to go to do you guys all right? Let's all absolutely, and then I hope you will say that, like I could. I were. I ran back on them and I doubt it around like destroyed this dude on their own. What the my first and a half a tender. My honest, second attend
as you will say that, like that, doesn't care what asterisk you beat him on. The first asked me True, as Astor god is, an answer doesn't mean it's not the first attempt it was. You got taken off my address, but yeah, but here's. The thing is like I have to live with that. This is your permanent record. I do like brought the entire dark souls series how you do against like the first boss. I get everyone wants to claim. That is so on my first time all I have do nothing else, yours alarms, so I can I can I can. I obviously do to save and go back, but as a person, I can't go back. True and have you to time to get it? You know it. I do, but it's like that was that was it there's it's. It was for everyone to see it's my hearts open and it's like I, you know, I guess I can't really say I'm the first. I was thinking about how all of our ancestors are going to see everything we've ever done and there have to be like yeah, my grandad. our ancestors or are but my progeny predecessors I always bomb ancestors,
near the user, my cave, drawing a baby's babies, their inability, ellie one try www billions or my cave drawings in order to go. Look at this deeds fucking rare computer crime anyway, as as, rather like a black were true joy they as don't you s real. So we don't talk about it as a blackboard. It's exercise for, and chinese and chinese chinese are the number one ancestor natives native americans. Also true, though Obi as a true you rarely hear white people who made us feel so ashamed about them. David yeah, exactly safe space to summon them to sell. Please don't yeah you'd have met our ancestors dude If I need help with my relationship, like your wife is watching
What are you is that why you know you're a generation one pair, like my dad, is day ready for the hate away. Be they really why there were? He killed the white men each other, twelve year old boy when he was like nodded, he was twelve and a key was forty. He killed a fourteen year old asia. I've got to talk to all right. Then. People know twenty years can kill you, oh hell, using my mighty, modelled want to nineteen thirty six. We lay nineteen, forty wait. What do I talk? You? There was war in nineteen thirty, Next year he die. We are missing an ancestor. Yeah the the resale use bit by a vampire nineteen, sixty yeah, technically you'd hate alive, you're very recently hundred twelve ninety something right now we. I'm almost ear he died.
Eighty six knew that it. not walking shit like it's insane that he lived that long. It is insane he lived in at eight and quit smoke until he was seventy seven. The way he killed a white guy in nineteen, forty, seven and thompson. Georgia that they're my grandma samson entity, nothing as migrant women jason diminutive knowledge of their say. As I'm surprised me as I must get em community service, dear We did it, damn george, that are soft on crime, nineteen, forty, so yeah, hey there. They broke my grandma's down. Oh no, just looking for my dad as one way to do it. How you already? Where is he got in here? and whenever I have nowhere to come back to burn the house down yeah, it's kind of like Skinner's box, and it's like what you hear is here Is he not you don't know you know you don't know he could have been in there. He could have not been you don't know where he is true.
I know he was on his way to new york when he did that. I do like that period of time. You do something terrible and his go to another state change. Your name you good, where it's gone, it's gone forever, oh yeah! His actual name is john, but we will do in europe. Thereby name was Joe It is only the agreeable genius in damn. So what? What was the? What was the fight about? at a supermarket and he said these white kids pushed his own back in a day. You would take a footlocker with you to the supermarket and you put all your groceries in there. entire sir, you will pull up your car to a tiny guy in a referee, take a whole lot more milk, a tiny reverie guys. I let me know if I can help you, I like you need in the cupboard, was ultimately unique way to what is and what is afoot. Locker is like a chess is like it,
as we like the lamp and you re a chest to the grocery store. People would bring legged because you had your treasure chest. I mean the heavy time treasure chest similar very similar, and these kids in my dad was working there and he will. I hope we will put the groceries inside of the foot clothes put in the back of a horse and buggy or whatever the fuck they They have been able to find out. I signed up car, So what do you like you? How do you think he was blazing with jazz dominated they'll run like a reason? really man, so he was. He was filling a foot longer than a push them risotto. They pushed them aside and let logger yeah. Then he lost a clue. They locked it, but this one this one foot locker like I didn't, belong anybody, so he just left it there and then they found to the next day so
god I the ultimate warriors you're dead? Yes, they locked them, isn't he was studying for like a day, but what, if anything, Does he do these kids play so he went up. He said he like went up in the tree with his twenty two long rifle or his dad's way too long. Those rifle he saw him play and he's a little one shot hit the kid in the neck get shot, so they mean essentially adds like buried. It's like the fear buried alive. Yeah, you he was buried alive. Basically, if you know how he got out, one of you, where did this opened it like? Oh shit, the fog they opened it was you like. It was if there is a running track in there and there are tons of helpful gentleman drift like officiate just like fishy aiders era, damn that's fucking wild, so he will let them out way too far, but you don't to deal with it
Look at zero, locked you, two foot, logger for a day I would say deal. What are you can't kill somebody for it as its wrote do, but you get your mind in the put yourself in the mind of a twelve year old spasm. True, it s. True are so of euros, bears deathly in nineteen. Thirty two is back then which is like a you get about ideology, daddy's gun, mayo, you fight, six cops were way less, Let me to be a good guy Jesus Christ. I wait for a beat up six cause before at the same time, Yes, well, they didn't area your eyes you they're about. We were here. You're barter made his way like video game guidelines laid down by a single day. You anyway, you hit them.
I guess one of the time kung fu yup. Take one. Did you do any of those like you like, get low and sweep your leg backwards, on tape, fall down and hit a wall and your turtle movement, but I'm still fascinated by the whole situation who let him out of the locker. Some things those who manage it at work that, like the single market, it is eight If the manager is a white guy, the guy, let them out, and he would let them get to work. He was like fuck this job and ran home if the peace in the locker anything he pissed shit, all on is of. Your bill. In a case, do so imagine, but imagine how many have to do to get examined. First. Second. Third. Degree: murder, if you are locked in a tiny box and shit on yourself and then finally, thank god, some guy, let you out like back to your shitty job, it's like it might be gone time. Oh yeah. Obviously it's not you shouldn't. You must know that. The first thing you here is your birthday.
You're back to work? Oh ye might freak out yeah that might be thomas net. It's understandable, you can't shoot people, but you can't win, fought the kid or something you shouldn't, but also what was nineteen forty yeah you get away with things in nineteen. nineteen forties yeah, there was you know, like I said, one of his neighbors killed. Another neighbor got to eat like stole some of his tools and the guy never got locked up. Yeah yeah, that's a nineteen forties crime, but not even as a nineteen forties. agreement very. It happens like every day now. If you do construction, somebody steals or tools in your like bulgaria, hummed eba, jades worries on or kill you have a back. Then it was like you had your little tin, sounds like your great grandfathers voluntarily, someone stole at your whole business class hideaway of accessing bolts and loosening them. Now, I'm out of business embody today that was set for one thing: have take your business needed tamper. I that yeah. I don't you see that painkillers, you don't netflix now what is it? You know
I think I was like a dramatic size version of that is nice, but the fact that a matter either We would die from nash it anymore, billionaires there. He read their business, they got away. You lived in the amendment. Mom govern doktor doktor get new yeah dude I went through it itself makes me angry. yeah daily? I don't like it very much, Ypres is not, I remember, I remember it was almost went when the painkiller stuff was a proud approach like a soon ami people, just like yo their put putting. yeah they're torn out before I even heard of any one getting restriction. There are already talking to you just chomp it and and break the I examined yeah. Yeah, I knew about people abusing axion before, like it even hit the street, yeah really easy. Think
Well, I you know, I don't know any like streetwalkers, who are just fucking, panhandling and using drugs, and then it was like one doctor gives you the prescription, there's no like support in place. It's like the mid nineties. He's a nice dude. I watched it tank. This late have to use a real zero. It is absolutely yeah, I watch doctors be like nah and then it was like well I'll, just get a new doctor and you go to a new doctor and they're. Just like oh you're, in pain. Here you go ma'am. Then they, like you know they hit the they hit us with a fibromyalgia. Is like I, I know I don't know how real at is shows up. It doesn't show up. I don't think, I'm really anything it don't you thing and then you argue, causes lake ill It's like no one believes me, and then it's also like. I I read years later that, like it's, it's basically a syndrome that comes up after you've like really gone deep on painkillers and then when you're off them everything just hurts. I thought it was one like
also in a bad mood for too long the bible, my always affect me five or by me as what it is. A win, win, moms, get addicted to smoking, cigarettes in a room, and then comcast introduced turner, classic movies and it was just yet. I think it becomes not fair enough. You get fibre. My out earlier answer must be nice and fibre. My colleague hiv and aids bob Is she used to like throw herself on the ground in like the driveway of emergency rooms for herself in front of ambulances, so that they would put her on her bed and take her damn days and then hit you with the morph guidelines on tomorrow. You wait for it the emma
I like being sleepy so much, I don't get it. What the fuck is, the point of being sleepy, all I hate being sleepy, I just get sleepy. Naturally, I believe a lot of my my I do understand an idea woman's a women, women, love sleeping they do they loved the net. I think sleeping is pay in the same, I have the time yeah my sleep routine is right. Now what my super tina is. I stay awake for as long as I physically can, and then I fall asleep going like no yeah, but yeah. It's rivals you wanna dead. Diane. I wake up and go far it sucks yeah and I just like isolating things around to make coffee in the kitchen yeah three and a half hours of sleep. I go never again for three days, my wife and she's, sleeping with just the most people, peaceful expression on her face, I'm just like what the fuck are you doing?
What are you enjoy? Dreamland in the real world wars of actually avenue I remember anything everyday they'd like say you're, my wife I get up every morning I look over and she just couldn't look at more at rest and I get Joker a little bit and run out on the huge number about what I try to stay the same position all through the night. Really I try stay all my back like more nightmare. Dear days, I do it when I was a college, my roommate, ugly brow, usually what you can't go my practice and were then there is the best way for your back, and so I feel great your body whose great will you just stay like this guy who great no more use, may be it is not shooting or myself in a foot long island does no good. At least I sleep on my side like a dead horse, united organ ahead of the pillow side, sleeping so actually
yeah. I do too much odors almost doubling the idea. My bones are fucked up for weeks after I do. That really does the on five right The aim must be my unless there's gay rights, I'd always tell you who didn't ask all data wife. Does google you know it if you sleep when your rights I'd, say you're, not gay, earring, isn't on the pillar. I usually when my stomach Ok, why do you look as they set up in one thousand seventh grade, someone told all the girls that are they laid on their stomachs gravity would pull their boobs gotta make a bigger other, my stomach. They usually stretch my and then comfortable. I that urban you're like ah
kills, you sleeping on my stomach, put a slight curve in my penis. He thinks hard into the mattress and it's got nowhere to plant growing towards the sun. Yeah. It's gotta carve out your fucking. Your body. Do that, like a tree growing around a fence now due to stomach sleepers, are the pervert. It's like the pervious shit, yes deviants pedigree, and it says it like muslims. You gave me boy, you're lives are or were you really do it's going to as agenda moody? is now your using your bag uses going your ask as its fallen from your penis dear most translated the fuckin windings around you. The way these lingering day day. Arabic I recently read. I yeah can only imagine any any right. This way they write.
right right delay. I did hear that damage she had ever. That is very stupid. Everything in the world goes left or right, yes, it'll be right, hander you going to smudge it cause, I'm left handed and as much cause. I write this way so you're right. and you writing this. What you most merger paper, one is the hand that they wipe their butt with left all the dirty shit his left hand. Now all the clean sheet his right hand is gonna, tell ya they have we have like the is like the little bowl of water above the toilet. I've seen that before they do get a lot of credit for like figuring alot, issued out first like math and stuff, like that, think on all if he became rightly there at all from the muslim world. The most the muzzles had a great first draft on a lot of favouritism shit. Thank god. We stole it all ready. What do they white? They did so last that we might take off our three. The azure were up, isn't white. My digger is do a slight like crouch and white, my dick also Donald. I pitiable among slam at his heart is you can from belarus
That's not good enough! For you guys length is everywhere or you just put right. I have always it right. years ago. Nobody I was at my pants right now, I'm going to I'm going to leave yeah, that's true, but then what what about? When it's time to mix a lot and it's time to pray they got physio draw you praying to god where you're? Are you gotta got understands that we'd other dahlia women brownie period, but you gotta go in here with god. Does want here do man about your prayers about that one core,
what all we do that, like I just got in the door. Could you give me a minute yeah? Why can't we do that? Look, but don't talk to me for the rest of the period tanya they used to have a beer tent in the muslims. Had that figured out to use it until they'd put you out and do seven days harder to you, we know they're difficult Why don't you know ac come? and seeing their not thrilled about it either though you now no accident, I threw obviously what do I owe you know my ankle hurts. I don't ruin the rights they are not throughout frere nerve wrote about, Think about it. I and I I hate to play devil's advocate, but I love arguing with you guys thinking about how crabby dudes get when they just get like frustrated and they don't know how to communicate the true years island, we mother factory, you know, that's your and our kind
Like ok, he's mean through, I guess, he's means, and I love that it women love when a dudes on edge dance cause. They wouldn't try to pull you out of it. Yeah dude. If I were to give emotional dances, my wife who loved another more that for me to come home, unlike slam, something down towards matter me like nothing. There are four well. Ok, then love that god I get it what's bothering within towns. The other side of the coin is that you, you have to be leg and then what the state or the dns suddenly That was that there was an agent and ignore her. if she goes, but that's all it's about, then you go okay, the dance dance and they will tell you like just who cares if I'm upset just leave me alone, you're, like
Ok sooner you want, we did not give us ass. The last thing I should deal with the agenda fertile soil could take again. There was no. You can't live like not my problem empty. Once I'm on my girl told me she said: I hated you always got us all my problems, exactly you're telling me problem what to do I would have liked. What are you doing? What I tell you robs the able to try to solve just sit there and be like oh well I'll. Let you gonna do about that. What what do you say? It's crazy! That's abuse, brother! You shouldn't they got up. You're right, I'm your man, imagine reviewed. Imagine having a leg is secondary, dude brain phony around being like you, you know you could do a big, I'm all ears, yeah. What could I do? Yeah? Okay for sure, that's the shade that I wish I had. It would be awesome. Damn that's! Why, like that's what I like, Israel. My boys bra cause like if I'm with him, we doing some shit and I think that shit is dumb. I'm like yup. I even do this right now, but he seems like the bad thing about this guys. It'll be like yeah,
why not? what date thirty enemies, ass it right to correct that No one any my shit dude you my answers to support a day you the same thing for my wife, as these are raising my voice yeah. Why? Yes, because I think it goes on to others- they give anything get like two contentious. I'm just like this is getting complicated, armitage. Why aren't you be quiet things, algeria and yet and issues As you know, you never even raise your voice when we argue site, I have tried it and, like I said, do don't listen to their answers rainy day, because I've I've tried, it surely would you? Probably even, were you
yeah, yeah yeah? You know that they used a heart attack yeah. No, I don't do that. Yeah
murder his rage. I really could not good political crowns, virtues myths. Outta nuclear tests is their flesh. Flying there'd, be a shadow behind or on the wall. regular escapade physically and you scratch your just scratch the burn. ever inefficient push was spitting little bits of bomb blasts enterprise.
the great bad breath. Yeah you're, bouncing in the game hate the lady with the they'd, never seen it never seen it. You know, I think, only sibling siblings, each as your only brother shit. You keep spamming crying. It's not fair yeah Well, you got my mind awaiting our doing that
I guess I just don't think we have to try to bring that. Did you serbia, yet a cry? I top it off yeah! It is nice as hell, though, if you've got a nice pair of headphones that you're wearing it, you can pick up and just slam spike into the ground, bouncing off a desk that will punch. walk got a wall. I've I've slowly figured out that I don't have the completely physically florida. Whenever my wife's upset like today, I think I like see radically understood it, and today I took her keys out. I forgot her keys in my pocket, so I like walk the dogs. She was trying to go somewhere,
Although my brother and I get a text like where are you and why the fuck you want you, like, I called you five times. My stomach is like yeah puppy. Bear, however, keys right now sit in a suit. I was like wait, a second who cares. I don't give a fuck, the regional problem. I was so weird how much of that problem. I was whose outcome on like. Why is she didn't really get? It was when she was beer bitch, but now she of yours, I would have told you that I spun me out. I was like oh man. I was part of so much of that by being like, God all sheer. Don't you worry us up, but you know what you think is the confrontation as you walk in like eyes. The conversation, let me say some words of car subconsciously childhood self,
expands mom, it's remnants of spasmodic. Oh, so that's why I'm like hey? Have you have a mom, it's like as soon as your wife gets upset, your life thinks she's going to space. Are you ready for a humongous lady guy? Could you imagine if she doesn't listen to the cats? Does she bridie? Idol is also, as you know, but I'm just like diet cause. I can't imagine a worse weapon in a woman's arsenal, then You know I'm not your mother right now, that would organ makers did magazine. In that real hard doesn't matter damages, don't do we aren't doing it, you're doing it with like a seriously like a terminator hole in your head and sparks flying out. She's dinged you at that point yeah sure we I mean I can be argued is be. I could easily be like mom memorials, love alone, I like it. I love my mommy iran to be negotiated I shouldn't give her any ammunition, but it was nice dude. We actually like navigated, a situation that would have ended in like just a negative start to the day.
And it's running around like you're adults, but you do have a party or celtic is like completely spun out of her simple stopped physical. I found the spare backup keys was not a problem like I'm glad you found that key gonna get you on my day, I'm totally fine as well. Have your text in spin me out either because of it dude is amazing. How much of that stuff? Just like you, don't even realize it filters through, but maybe it's just me. I dunno no, no you're right about that, but it's a micro yep. You know my my girlfriend likes to she yelled or minor things. Sometimes an arm like target LAO in anyone in any place anywhere any tat. She should He's me bird and I hate to with my own do they. Don't. Why me am I gonna council now I do do you do day. I hate that she she why you can't whisper.
I should note a factor I with my right: I'm not try to shudder hate this, but the against judged hated bragged again shows beings me. The arcade It's really loud like really loud fired, I'm talking to normal volume. It feels like no abide by day realized my family. We are told it will make me realize the one time I was astral, that is yoga sphere due to the yogis. Sorry man, I just relocated. Super duper, love, It's barely realizing. When I hear my siblings talk and I'm like what the fuck are. You yelling like that and I'm like yeah. This is me, that's the same thing I do yeah Another women can do they'll, get it in like do the proud of your whole family. Like you know, it's fucked up about your family. like what are you talking about. I got all the serving on one fine day. That can be real you for, like five years later, your family flutter. Could the airline wait? Maybe she's right.
it'll say like. Maybe he is right. At least I try to like recreate yourself. What you can do like to have a group around these people there. Then he turned around like fuck, your family. what that does not dare to you on the prey angular put my family, my brother Tom was telling others recently my I'm a huge family structure. My dad's I'd just like little things like seventy people include all because it goes, but everyone gets along for the most part. My brother thinks it's actually he's a spin off of I've, a cousin was the first one discover our whole family was autistic. One of your way was a holy shit. My whole family, extended families, are very varied. its popular sale, but I think everyone's just touched a little bit there. My brother like the reason everyone gets along so well is theirs and there's not a gay sure Let me in there is an emotional connection, but it's not like expressed whatsoever. It written not really felt either, but it's just nothing but data dumps just war family gatherings. It is due
waiting to talk. Have you been to Dorney park yeah? I remember she'd been there before. If everyone is data dumps on each other, okay, bye, it's the sickest thing in the world own rules and there's dropping random facts, never heard one of my cousins say anything like. Why are you doing this? Why are you being weird? It's just just data dumps oh you're, kind of opposing error, laughs and at present we every conversations fucking sick, that the birth rate is so tight that do so must the has anything to do with like the size of your family. This is so many Gabriel yeah, academia tail. There is no room for anything to be intimate. Vassili everyone just trying to claim a cell in the spreadsheet. That's not gonna hurt you haven't information. Does we come up with all the people that are still alive, my family just like so what else has gone? All you guys? Aren't I mean no one's really
eager to share any of our news. You guys meet up. It's like things are going pretty good. I've got a lot to say, and I know that someone's about to start talking to me that someone an inch and a half taller than me with the same exact faces about you that they all just That is true. Give me that is a good thing. We we're in a big family, eat really fast, as you want to get like that last little thing, but yeah you can just be like ugh. I was the big bad wolf. It was pretty cool. Here's my top three roller coasters this the summer. This is my favorite beach, What would you like?
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And use promo code drenched during checkout to save ten percent. That's mag breakthrough, dot com, slash m s, secret pod and use promo code drench to save ten percent don worth thirty. Five we're just getting started. What a dense, fucking, thirty five and started fucking guy we are dude. You could turn the ac back on it. Doesn't matter yeah! You can be great That is what my group higher, so that here we are getting anywhere there again. We have been in this curve of an eagle nasty. If I idea turn my son into the fucking vulgar police were the adopted report, our girls really ninety, although ripley outer, but your host. I even know it's going to be another lady out here with my last name: that's crazy, bro, that's kind of tight that is tight. I was, I asked them why they have a daughter in law. I was hyper aware that yeah, it's kind of moving too fast they are
could they ve been lit? The already lived together, my daughter, stella Ghali's, then does the stereotype her lesbians is that they move in together really quickly iridescent the measure, if there's no nobody sovereignty is a runaway train I'm not going to do so much to imagine every problem in life only having two girl brains, solving it yeah, what a nightmare yeah, what dude yeah, that's crazy, stuff stuff! I ran into a couple of those have their problems where they were like mapping out their day and she's telling me and I'm like your whole day- is backwards. Really all you ever see so we're going to go to penns landing. There was a king of prussia, didn't go to south street. They were going to go to fucking, montgomery ville ma. Then we go
where we also nobody's. I can we just please just fucking chill here. Just till I forgot what do the iron all these different things in their back down this wakening back up that way than they did? They learn everyday issues way off your deeds are just like a fucking rocky have to bring place. No man, no efficiency whatsoever unit. A compliment I give mulatto ladys were a yo yo down to go anywhere. You a lot of guys. I'm gonna go everywhere. I am sure will be my photos, I'm you, dear man, you can have we argue that desire you, the europe of tomorrow, my hope may ever did stand in their while women tranquil always does the worse oxted this torture? Socks? your unit in a moment: you're a eunuch, yes, the fucking year cause you can try to cool. Do that and just be like. Oh yeah, that looks great on you yeah. You know, yeah your dick's gone socks through. I hated all. Are you order back to
Jerry iota bed is over our personal derangements Joe. You do true it's a fair point day. Then there's the deepest level of low batman, standing in the corridor of dressing room? I looked fattened as usual. You're out of your five year five feet away. They go where are you? Are you a rear contemplating running out of their stores fast, as I can? they stand ergo again the way I look pretty meaning that right now, that's the more! annoying. We already see beauty wherever majors she'll job me off. Games Dobbin go shopping. Virus has not asked the sea ass, nice ass, nice. I do. I give up positions that I I do have a duty to let me go look at model, robots, tortures, herself, trying to find anything she likes.
I go oh thanks, babe as real as I'm talking to a cashier at a store and not buying anything yeah, hey baby how's it going. I have a decent idea. Women's fashion. I've learned because when trying to embrace it. When I go there, and actually it's actually really easy to pick out clothes for them and just be like put that on this on- Am I gonna? We never thought of this as well. Oh he said. I never thought of this either dude, I'm telling you it's actually pretty fun and levels that you can access. I've had to just I just started embracing I'm going to be a curmudgeon dude. I start accessorizing, I'm going. This is great, but like nicholas the real or something else. will. You was dollars yeah, I'm ready. it emerged that would make it cause. Otherwise I've been trying to not not get into things. If I'm going to do a thing I'm going to get into it rather than like, when I was a teenager them all with like a highschool girlfriend I'll just be sitting there like. Oh
They are all complaining like you are. Why did it take you so long to just pick something that I know exactly what I'm getting? Why did it take you so long to just get what the fuck you want with that new idea. I've been trying to get into it yeah. Actually, it's pretty funny. I was like. I had a good time, the one time. Last time we went, I was just like this is so far down that I used that time to go through. While my group measures that I never talk to anybody and respond all the time at the mall floor, I go through every comedian message, I'm in yeah Is that guy, with my homie that I'm just responding so yeah, we said it two weeks ago, I know bro, but I've got free time. Then let me answer these questions. Let me respond. That's fair! I did what you wanted was a black immediate grew message. I knowed it really. Lamberto gave a signal, the mere? Let me kill me like. I know that. But what do you do for the record? I dunno
We have said it is ok duties. I went to work like an open secret egg. Is nearly the philadelphia black comedians route message, how many people reduction would you think le maire, maybe twenty twenty, others will be filing a little there. Enviously beef zactly pilot. Twenty areas when you re in this group chair, flock now you're fucked with us, then it's yeah, the visual, it's not official. What what does like that? But it's not certified. Sorry true! You do gotta get to rain if to be official. Now, that's pretty tight. What do you guys talk about Did we shit on it? We basically get shit on people nice for the most part. Maybe lady is get it the worse and that and his group message yeah lady comes get a pre back, we are to feel like we gonna took all the flag for that a while ago, still party there. Where did then the black whatever black comics debt were invited to the group measures, get it pretty.
Ok, so I dare you see in his leg fairly community tuna. In it we don't know shit about uber dan sought fucked up. it's not a group message with you guys do yeah, hey, yo, yo, jamaica, white comedians, a group message as a hate crime. You gotta be a vulgar hate romeo. They had a fucking philly calmly network facebook thing that was used, Amira there's no europe. Elinor. And how would you grab control of that thing during the pandemic? I was bored so I was like I want to run for admin like I tried to do a princess. to campaign to be admin. Who was the advent of it? It was a mccoy aids and illicit roszkowski may were dying. Lame sounds like vote for me as admin of them. about the economy network you looking over, there won't be any more than they do in that was bugging you. They just weren't posting, having dinner. Who is anybody call is irresponsible.
Then a grand you comedy you're, killing people and it was only say with the leaves, are opposed to levy like a park is probably know. This group is just for shoes you ate with a pocket of his books, I move that we end up with a mere over now has been I had agreed another one because airline like a longing our group- and I like I, give you one I do it so bad make another one. I was like all right I'll make the exact same thing, but wasn't it founded on like a democratic kind of vote for the admin, or did you just being both a little cool yeah, I'm sure the americans, stealing it to everybody. Will everybody loved that one is everybody with Dan? He fought them over. That's pretty tight yeah! I, like it, I like to go in here control. I d go in here and be anonymous and be like I'm open micro. Why don't we get in farming? it's on stage, I'm going to build a hour for my h b, o special emily, getting five minutes on stage I say: have I maybe also put like the
Nobody will ahead like the old, would have been to a comedy likes what these olga everyone. So merely hey. Do kill yourself what the fuck are. They were going crazy there, but, as it was fun, is your fake neighbor. You went on and you can put up messages anonymously. Finally, we are in a noble. It is like www renewal with me, but nobody is looming. There was so much why that is pretty funny we will get angry Ebby would have not really mean what has really me. I get depressed, Have you been having this objective a facebook beef? kyler. but imo if I'm beef with them. I know I'm right because I'm quick to apologize, I'm quick to say when I'm wrong beef was my is easy for me to be like you a bit in a whoa. Are you did wrong because I'm saying that I wouldn't be with you and under any other circumstance, true, so yeah I've had some some facebook bs, I started not a couple times at all. I don't go on facebook anymore, but I remember I
I somehow it was pretty nice. I somehow got the all white pussies verse, the black comics holy shit. I had a thing had like. Is it all white guys were being decades about? I think that warned at the show they had like some comedian came by And- and they were like making fun of, I forget who it was. It was like some black. comedian. Who is only a shall we say a funny using a funny name. You see they sort of she had not at all my man, it's fucked up. All the white nerves are attacking the black comics it's like five hundred over the next stage name. Yes, it is oh! No, it wasn't even that there was the person they book. They were like that so stupid like who cares about this guy because it was like the guy. I generally forget the name. It was an actual like names or cafe. The first, why it would be like if you had like urkel kmf was like something like that, like a famous dude or What about you you're going to lose their far outweighs these the better I going to see what was what was his name. He was bruce Lee. I go see him on state hwy. Eighty were equal to the brutally. No,
you're all into the black. I made that type of machinery- nerd cool guy, Claudia our nerd, criteria and I go down to near. Do were definitely rothschild molest area with the ever face trial. That's actually MR karate yeah. You know, I believe that he was a room, a lesbian and then I thought as interviewed the day and the guy was I get up all his surgeries and he like they said you had a dip, will add it to your chin. They said you got your lips, why they said you had dimples added to your cheeks. You had your nose shade the whole time he was like no No? They don't give me credit for anything now, I'm like. Oh, he just bove a liar and he got to know shave. Now you got a dimple added to your duty. He was the guy and he was like. No, oh, my god. Your whole position is that
You have our thirty years, branch of youth kids were lying and you were charmed by his responds. Originally, yes did you did feel more you ever do do may come into the allegations. Are I think, that's why you started a guy put em asleep. Yeah. He sounds like a money grab as you're saying, and some of them were money grabs, which is why true, I believe them, because some of the kids they just straight up law, macaulay Culkin, used to chill with him. He said I would never touch them. Trading Grady got with other little boy: foam seminars, maritime true. What he fought timber it truly is actually you'd. Fuck Mcculloch argue that if you have you forgive me It is my colleague at the rigid age him home alone. Get so that is why I would like you to take it anymore. We do and if you didn't marry you than a ban and then use large dig in there that is, ultimately the job or travel by travellers? For guys, I guess I'm John was hidden. Facebook
that's it! That's a terrible! nay member, I'm glad you brought that is able, as their version of like p way guy. you're, just like girls, you dont have guy france, you just have guy friends, you have linda every child actors. Listen, do you don't have jobless your friends of jobless unfortunate, true hand. Booby trap is wrong. Mercosur sea can escape the thea the core elements are no chemicals. Ok, so why would he fought the other kids come on, true drill. The politicking, though those are those our heavy hitters. They have on your side saying he didn't do you know corvette? The core of he fucked like backup dancers version carers, something like that. You wouldn't believe home alone or
You know this guy, this guy, with a dangling hearing in writing, ro the monstrous wherever you're the thing he fought decade into being a back up. There's a fishing gear we created a career when his guevara? He did? This was a kid you I think when he felt at me with a gate Anarchy would have been an account like you would a ps if you didn't, he would have been accountant, a cashier or some stupid shit. Will Michael Jackson gave you the magic dick, naked date. They ask saying I was that he was a young man was like you. Can David they get some of those left overs. He was kind of hidden. What some cool moves? Ok you're right is that that is what it is. you gave the shine at all yet about with their origin, I remember Emmanuel lewis yeah Michael jackson has to hang out with him. He was like Webster, so he sounded on yeah. He was a man at that time. Webster wait what he was like gary
Women are really the apartment ich and he was hanging out with Michael Jackson a alive, video there's, a video of him sitting basically would actually damned yeah there's a video of Michael zero. Michael Jackson. Let- and it was kind of- I always gives owners. But then, if you like twenty seven in this video totally or would you really above all that we do not want to hear about it? Why I know inanimate right. You know how it's like a fuck la mer, you're gonna, have to help me out on this, but you know in in hen, tie it's illegal to animate child pornography yeah. So the way that they get around it is they've created,
ton of characters that are one thousand years old, but stuck in the body of a child crillon brand. So he was just, do it hand, tie with Webster yeah. Technically this character is over a thousand years old and they have brown love a good loophole. Let's say that you find a loophole. I'm on that. Do they say exactly what how all of a body there stuck in it? They do say child. I mean I figure just like scroll through thumbnails into If I were you like yeah, I see what you're saying yeah. This is all perfect on the stroke of the artist yeah and that might have gone by the wayside as well. That was that was a long ticket le married or you did you follow any of that stuff. Eight brocades from the curse the japanese high court was like a courier, the kurds. What's the legality on this, why you're sweating so much right now, yeah loads love
the enemy thing, where leg either perverts had to stop at a meeting like children. Yes, actual situation that is relevant, like demons execute bases. Yeah I have. Is that still legal yeah, I think so I don't. I see music. U business! It is driving the technical comes from the like. This isn't a child of it activists tentacle now less of the different nets, yeah sure from their heavy seafood diet. Do a lot of evil trailing octopus do exactly as they think. No America we get fucked by cattle. Death and octopi. slither, endear, uterus and it's like you know, it's not a neighbour for an idea for sure I made a lot of us: can J they dexterous gear their. Do they can just turn into there's a little like
it can be very boring. You can get ribbed on you, oh, they can just turn it like a leopard. That's pretty tight! Yes, like it's, not like camellia piece of shit, not going to change the color sobre octopus can actually change the texture or they can. They can beat this game like the texture of what they are. Looking like. That's nuts, that's pretty The alien ship, where I got to show maya the lizard changing it's color, oh yeah, is pretty pumped on that. I just told her about it. Oh it was a green lizard. Then it went away and I was like you know. I think it turned brown at any second rogers site. What could I make sure can hide it uses like synergies. Oliver version was laser turn. A brown lawyer gave you always if you move so fuckin bombs, so palms error, imputes, possibly equipment this martyr do yeah, his wife in us when it is a dangerous people talk to them through
you're right. You know by every citizen s three, we only with another kids for that's all you talk today and as create your I do. My parents, yours like be quiet all be nice big lion, they were never yo. You see this be right here, guess what this ain't us right. Just just like tat, you right, because I actually had a train myself to answer questions from the kids really, because fritz six and he's off questions and yeah. If I'm in the middle doing something is like asking how it works verse its can. I help you go. You can hang. I was. I do it you're useless. Why are you doing that and then by instinct, for my raised, we like cause, that's how it works and he said I have to be like Well, you now we plug things into the wall, while there is actually electorate like did it do not explain a rules based that bastard you, which is great and enjoyable I'm just now. It is as well
That's not what I was. Why did I know it's funny. You start turning a yo yo yo you tune into that is I just, as our extent has at work, go away I want to get this done. It doesn't bother me. I want get this done before the vote. If starts when you right now, Look get out here on the earlier when I repeat the question as long as you want- and I I got my my two year old- does this a lot where she's like dat was that and I'm like, first of all, who's that national guard dd? maybe he'll always have their like those who was there to a person. As this will say it again, there was then am I I just told you who that was the question. Think waiting now my answer you because you stated twice as much. Waiter, one that will answer Apparently desire was remiss thing, they're saying that kids have lake. genuine, no concept of like anyone else's reality until their seven seven years old. Think like, if you show up
there is theirs added must exercise. And the others are both of you gonna book than france, green. The are the backs orange you hold. The fry yo, was the front of your grainy, what colors? Yes, they are orange and you flipped the book background. What color am I looking at that? Go? Green came in their plans is in an hour and a half. We rarely glad you have generated. Is they say they can't do perspective taking into thereby x, seven years old way said were already within odor gerda, in all honesty, bro. I know that I felt like I was the only person that was real. I was like nineteen that everybody just loaded that nobody was around like I'm the only real person so foot Sixty seven is gonna early church I would like the nineteen twenty year. Llewellyn realisation like I agree, awesome. Some girl- and she was so like fluffed up distraught to point we're like her sister
air mom call me like lego, she's, really fucked up what you really fucked there right now like she like a whole like family, a store behind her you, the purses, lady, like this area a story very balmy. He got this, do we everybody got it. If you like the day, I had the complete opposite experience where I was so aware of other people that it was almost like torture for really really. I I had the exact thing I am had. I would just be like no though an hour to hour. I was stop in my tracks regularly like we with worry for other people and like I can tell, but you still gotta like that now, but you still got some of that shit with you when you mean, like You are very aware of other people. Unlike their feelings, I yeah you're, very aware. I feel like a huge piece of shit, I'll be like yeah fuck. It he's like well yeah, but I feel it's kind of fucked up, I'm like yeah
It is yeah, that's kind of necessary for that person or dog to completely brush that off yeah, but you're good at present. In other people's arguments like I'm like yo, I got a problem with this guy, because this isn't that you're you're very good at being, like everyone, I think about it like for me, the point of if he's like they are you. I tried in absolute agony over my book, but this perspective surging there all the time. The idea when I was a pretty young chaos, public, ten or eleven years old- and I have I have brothers from different moms or note these ones. Different dads will look at my dude. None of his match over the so I had a brother. A arose was like that's impossible.
Yeah, he was a part of my brain as I got 'em partner. Paul is a different mom. My bigger brothers have a different dad: okay, okay, that's what it is yeah, and so my brother, my brother Paul, was into like hardcore and shit grown up and, like you know, he would take me to shows as a young kid and they were fucking pretty crazy, add there was a boy where my my two different wings of brothers tried to come mingle for a little bit and it was, it is boiling water. How they get along horse. I mean that I tolerated each other as long as they needed the same thing from my parents. Were rag of rights? where is your area like that? But When they were like almost adults, they went to a show and one of my wigger brothers it was. It was a no they're going to see like punk bands that shit and my wigger brother tried to like
grind on ideas. Girl forces outside the walls were denies that Serbia, Well, a wigger is easy lying row. I did the biggest the number the phrase I remember him from him grown up, as I remember him answering an an early cell phone and being invited somewhere, and he was, I we'll see we'll see, they're go ahead, honey dip, sir So he had it. I'm not leaving the house, he hadn't honey, the policy. Basically ben are you alone. I shall have shown of all others. A hearty did seven ojo your breath fully scar phased out as an adult, obviously did so. so tight that honey dips always either. I had shit like that yeah. He drove a big, a buick with like a red felt interior and just like smoked weed in the car on his lunch breaks instead of beauty
yeah, there's also a black people. Think I really era. May a it's a nice feeling to juilliard. He shit, no wonder he had a. He had a riviere yeah and I think I remember it came with nineteen inch rims on it. If I'm not mistaken, he stayed on. You just reminded me of that dude every now and again there's certain cars that white people are like. Whatever about that black people sweat dude eyes? I couldn't remember he's like that. I had a mercury, it's like a maroon mercury sable or what the fuck you didn't in bollywood top dude had the ragtop a and I used to when I when I was selling pills, I'd always be in west philly, and these would come out of this bar and these dudes will probably say. Well, let me know how much bro, how much of an idea of not selling my car is my only car I can't sell. Is you yeah, like that's your first card in your next carson infinity,
yeah. We do not know either each ride, not a dude girlfriend any got roll on and fucked him up. These are due that we're like already spanking each other, joan I and my lad, and they beat to fork out of many came over here to be like wrestled down by like my dad and liked to do because he tried to leave the house would like a kitten. I've gotta go bangs gonna go back now, go back of any without creating kitchen knife, edie. I wrestled down. I saw tat, he was blocked, Do they also by his ass, and I was so upset form. I do this you hated by as every day we never got along, and I was just I'm eradicate like losing sleep like day. Indeed that probably- I beat the fuck out yeah, imagine, am got in there with the butcher knife, though
oh yeah, he did cut, maybe one or two of them, then somebody would did have beat his ass again and took his neighbors there. The wrong type of weather, but put them on their shoulders and another guy would have stayed on the relic. Mosher is a new yeah I'll be in touch. Easy a marsh now: what's marcia marsh thou ones, Yes, I will now tomorrow will mariners get out here? Do you wanna tell us what you're my story now. I was at thirty minutes so fast. I thought it was the fastest thirty minutes. Thirty minutes. I thought it was like an hour and it was just dances as grabbing an hour's worth of ca. I think the heat may Maybe if the ironing liner bless him within their air made a second berryville there. I think your item, or should we talk euralia? Are we talking about chubby guys?
like kind of now or do then is rarely a marsh. This is this. j J mountains. Ok, this, isn't even a circle pit. This is just dudes baby, just bouncing off each other dude you need to get in there and you need to start throwing hands behind you. You need to get damn scared and need to be thrown head kicks, maybe jump spinning kicks. You need to be like what you have to be practicing in your room at night yeah. I was just like an awful people. with your blog, comes up in the kitchen, says what the fuck are you doing up here? That's what marching energy you're right, you're right, she got more too because with it but you let go my record at me. Method Keller regarded me and then I posted it in my story. All my life for his mother would like.
the fuck. Are you do tired? You have your tap dancer. These due out always fall. Y'all, don't understand. You're you're a fucking run into somebody, because the song is hot. It was a dozen travis. Scott have a whole thing about martian. He does That's awesome, yeah likely it'll march a tranquil dude. I was in the treble pit dude my girlfriend died. It was that kind of travelling. We talking about like where you kind of dance role, where you just kind of shoving puerto rican girls to get the concert going. Note, that's fucking a hardware. If you don't want need a lotta people die and is it you're to get trampled or go in the pit yeah? I think it was a dream. like dogs and re came out, and people were an aged wanted to give physically closer to drought. They wanted to stand like seventy five feet away. Instead of ninety feet, away and murdered boost. Somebody will that's what crazy
a terrible stuff. I mean you know what I mean is music. There were some people got a dozen of the song is not good luck. It yeah. I mean yes, It emerges containing that same energy that we be seized like sacrifice virgin so are we wait. We take their wages years, be with the I draw our invented drums or invented to like art, officially elevate, the tribes heartbeat got him to do something in saint hope, you're right it sucks. Now he uses the kind of get your dick sucked. It's supposed to be it's for, inducing a tizzy Israel, you're right there. Speaking of tizzy, let's a dude plug the philly comedy festival. I mean it's going to be tight. light the lead, their re where, where to get tickets, the return of the lives down, it adds a nova bomb. I think I have new stuff. I want. I have a couple of new things. I'm gonna try to do a new comedy show
I guess to explain that you are doing it doing a one day, comedy festival in philadelphia at a very cool venue called Gallen co. It was a converted old, like small eastern european church, in a in a in in the neighborhood in philly. It's it's with one day noon midnight it's going to be seriously the biggest retard pylon of all time s. It ever fucking time we got suave, we got all pays and mouth deregulate. The ear tag lives down. It adds some some very big time cool guess that we are going to keep an eye on her hat nice. big ta. It is going to be hot over there. I know who everybody is and y'all want. Y'all shit, though I know exactly who's going to be there. His name to the sunday rule where labour day itself.
sunday before labour day September third, good, a p h, l comedy common join as and join us there and be. I mean it'd, be tight end of the summer. I'm excited it's gonna, be nice. Dude also come. Please come to wise guys, comedy club in salt lake city september, fifteenth and sixteenth comedy at the carlson in rochester new york of september, twenty second, twenty third tacoma comedy club club spokane comedies, one charlotte cap city, Austin, texas, Mcgee, Magoosh, joke house all mercosur dark arms, lash dates, a wink loathing below rubies. I wanted. What would you do? I hear my mama boobies wit Now I gotta get out heroic Z. You kind of I walk me throughout the whole process. I got my fuckin first weekend when it's in Saint louis. We're twenty, let's go as type two and I and I just want to probably give it up to you mad, because you kind of like, took me on your wing, and I got me to this point and you kind of show me that you can just gonna, do it on your own. and I did it on its happening again-
into this ain't enemies. I did don't be stupid. Just do stand. You ve already pass it on Get a grave give those, I guess you're right. This is the best idea. Thanks anyway, I'm very excited to go to ST louis and smoke weed with tarted dudes out front. You can go to tim bodily dot com, hell, yeah, hell yeah, please join me. Loomis are going to be in the same place same september, fifteenth this will do week month before and august thirty. First, the providence, rhode island, thorough door. Please read or nice hellion o two off the top helium comedy club august thirtieth gives you two now right now we're going over the ongoing helium, fully arrival. Beater come to healthier eyebrows. Thank you,
Transcript generated on 2023-08-27.