The impeachment trial begins: Adam Schiff and the House managers make their case and Republican Senators both demand and refuse to allow new evidence. Florida's Republicans are undermining Amendment 4 which restores the vote to those convicted of felonies. Plus C-Span's production values are just OK and it's time we have an honest conversation about organic peanut butter. Aida Osman and Sam Pancake join to help break down the week's news and just sit around sharing memories of Mr. Peanut and really focus on making this a celebration of his life.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Love it or leave. It has brought you by our presenting sponsor jerk present sing
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challenge. That's ninety! Six! Out of one hundred japan, a that's a nice, no, ninety, seven as an a plus, it's kind of fucking curve. It depends if your school has minuses. Okay, it depends if you have minuses someplace. Ninety five to one hundred is right, but you just have like pass fail or something,
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please drink responsibly, nay Angela made noticed in the sound of my voice. I am a little bit like Tom hanks at the golden globes twice a sick half is charming, went again with an apology
get some good now. No, it's ok! I'm not trying to just.
you came all the way from london
wow things were common,
seems as though we are heading towards
on our right as you're heading away from it sort of interesting ancient dictatorial tradition.
you're coming to an end. Just as we as a nation are rediscovering some of its virtues
If america and love it or leave it are going on tour, we are going everywhere, including iowa city in one week, go to crooked dot, com, slash events and watch my twitter feed we're going to be announcing those I have a guess
all right? Let's get into it. What a week
we're going to
about the news on everyone's mind. Mister peanut has died at the age of one hunt:
in four. Finally, some good news.
but don't worry. The lawsuit against his estate will continue. His victims could still
restitution thanks to more increase
or reporting by iran and fairer.
We'll, never
This itself.
I do not have a suspect in the death of Mr Vienna, but they should be able to match the dna to the seamen collected at the museum. I'm not
urban ira. What were you thinking
this card? But it's not
More jokes about MR pina, not to be outdone. Progressive announced that live during
have time at the superbowl. They will be murdering the actors who place flow. I've done hilary killed, MR peanut undone.
breaking news. Hillary Clinton, not a fan of burgundy thinking, but you
support the nominee while she like it.
journeys is the nominee. I do not think so shall scream so loud
chappaqua, though here on wall street, which is fine convention,
collect your usual be
anyway. This is the last few days before voting, which is crazy, but it's true. So this is the last chance we have to talk before the votes are cast, and so it's the last chance we can all say in good faith that we're going to do everything we can for the nominee, no matter who that person is before people start saying. Oh you're, only saying that, because you're person, one yang
Don't laugh, lotto leading canada in dc citizen silence. I am
all coming up Yang. Most of us will
for someone who is not the nominee, we are part of one big, diverse movement from the shore,
where's of job o trap house to the purple mounds.
Tom Stier had built behind his house, so we'd all have to remember. We all have to do our part, even if we're angry that our person didn't win. Even if we find some of the supporters of the candidates, we don't like to be annoying online, and I say that as someone who has at various times spent time in the barrel
pissing off various factions, various candidates and I'll. Tell you something, and I just wanna be clear. I am not going to say who it is in the spirit of unity, but I will say that at all
time of picking fights with various democratic candidates, sometimes and ways. I regret sometimes in ways I know the birdie brows have nothin on another.
Added its people and I'm not even gonna, tell you who it is because a unity.
anyway? The point I was making is uniting with people you like is easy. When trot was elected, there are two big things on my mind and I'm telling you this because it's true not because undrawing a comparison. I did genuinely happened to be reading a lot about weimar germany at the time and
I just tell you that that something that happened it was. I was somewhat of a coincidence. I started reed
about weimar germany before trap was even announcing before he came down the escalate arduous fascinated by the period. What happened anyway,
one of the lessons that
I drew was that there are these two great challenges that confront people when they are facing attacks on institutions from the right and one is. How do you fight to preserve institutions when you're fighting in those that don't believe in the rules, if you're trying to show a bunch of people that basketballs a really cool fun sport, where the rules makes sense,
on the other side is just traveling the whole time you who you don't want to eat. You haven't urged to travel but you're, trying to say
the travel and makes the game worse. So you stuck in a damned if you travel and damned if you don't, which is not dribbling enough.
So that was the one they how data vice grip between trying to preserve institutions while trying to say
some against those who don't play by the rules and the other is that it is very hard and an anxious time in which you feel like you're losing when lots of people feel disenfranchise adjoining many who have felt disenfranchised for a long time to keep a big fractious, diverse liberal
election, progressive coalition together keeping a coalition together, is not a question when everybody sees each other as being on the same side,
but I see it all the time you know I said in passing on twitter, which is the only way you can say anything on twitter.
It's a whole medium about saying things in passing then preserved for all time. Hopes but
We should all take a pledge now before the voting starts, to support who
were the nominee may be, and I received a lot of people saying then you better get behind Bernie, because otherwise we won't support anybody else,
and by the way I got a plenty people saying if Bernie's the nominee, I'm sorry I may vote for that person, but I'm not going to knock on doors because of all the things their supporters say online and that's a trap. Even if there are people on the side, you don't support, saying that they won't support you. Your ability to see someone as being on your team is not predicated on their agreement. That's all
I cannot believe what I'm going to next film
We have flyers mass got and socialist icon gritty its investigation after allegations, he punished a thirteen year old boy in november. During a photos, you
targeting another left us its mark
their king all over again. Finally, big
use of the weak on tuesday, the impeachment trial of donald trump began
in the united states senate, whose trial, whose trial has everything mitchell.
On a scolding democrats about fairness, John roberts,
going about civility it, of course, ted crews, drinking milk and the senate,
or
Crews is an all american man who likes a tall glass of milk, a dump resident who is above the law a warm laptop filled within, says pornography. It is
here, statistical certainty,
that many of you just laughed are laugh
the knowing laugh of a person who has watched incest, pornography,
now lapse changing, but why.
As the trial was starting a new pupil, pupil pupil found that
fifty one percent of americans, think of the senate trial should result in the removal of the president's from office. Now, let's go to clip of the senate.
Bowing to the will of the people. Now, I'm not saying
Ok, I'm not saying it's appropriate, I'm saying that it didn't happen, terrific, terrific!
senator MIKE braun, let's go to senator Barroso.
I sat through another day seems like groundhog day in the senate, from what we heard from the the managers yesterday the day before it is the same thing day after day after day. It does seem that, after about an hour and a half, they start repeating themselves as if you could impeach by just kind of repeating the same thing by repetition. Let's just let's just get this straight on tuesday, fifty three republicans in the Senate voted against amendments that would have allowed new evidence.
Into the trial twelve hours later, those
republicans went on fox to complain that no new evidence was introduced in the trial
it is a little bit like they looked at,
later in the eye and said I want that, toast black and five minutes later some toes came out. They said how did you bring me this house this
is burnt, and then one of them was like. I smelled bert toast, but that's just one of em haven't a stroke because the roads
over the course of the last few days, Adam schiff has done an extraordinary job, building a narrative around the president's misconduct. He spent much of his time speaking to the Senate sense of patriotism and duty to which merrick garland was driving.
One hundred fifty miles an hour at night with the lights off just appeal. Something said: oh good! Luck with that. Sweetie
I'm just hoping that the lover or leave it listeners? You stick with the show,
after week are enjoying the version of merrick garland, I paint because it's a man with nothing to lose.
the second article of impeachment alleges that donald trump obstructed the impeachment inquiry and is holding onto material without sherry with Democrats. How did donald trump respond to this allegation? Let's
I clip, but honestly we have all the material they don't have. The material
They like we're all like Sherlock holmes, put the clues together and
we feel minutes moriarty comes in is like I did it
We ought to ignore it because when you confess is on average about, does it out
What he told us he's the guy that, but we are all so smart he's so stupid, and none of us knew that if the president just confessed to the crimes on camera, it doesn't count. In fact it makes
not care as much what what
horse, yet
it's doing it, no,
must be buried in a secret server. It must be evidence
pizza, parlor basements. No, that's
the true facts. Are you gotta go deep inside a whistle blowers, mind
dossiers, russian
hotel rooms,
he's been making the tape on cable news
and a half years. It's also been reported that several Senate Democrats having been considering a trade republicans, let John Bolton testing
Democrats would lead Joe Biden testify
go on a limb here, but I'm pretty sure the several senate democrats are named Amy Bernie and liz. The also there's no centre and impede, but some guy named pete sign that one do think it's a good dream,
to bow wow
do you want to share with you a beautiful moment from Adam shifts, closing argument on wednesday and throw the clip? What brought us here
is that some courageous people came forward. Courageous p.
That risk their entire careers, but people
senior to them, who have every advantage houston
In positions of power lies
that same basic commitment.
That same basic willingness to put their country first and expose wrong doing. They risk everything,
their careers, and yes, I know what you're asked to decide may risk yours too, but if they could show the courage so can we?
of course, on the trump lawyers did respond with
This clearly is tasted. Women is the same as the states and lawyers only the very best, with just the right amount of dirty. It's a joke.
Here's a real with president trot.
is a man of his work.
Who's that for
I do want to say you know
We are in an anxious district right now.
I think we ve been allotted time dealing with the fact that we keep weight.
For the right person to be in the right place at the right time, and we often ended up with the worst person
the worst moments in the worst time
but every once in a while there,
Nobody that you'd on diesel,
can any way you may even respect and admire the congress person, but
you- don't realize that they're going to step up and perform.
most extraordinary of services and be the right person for the job.
right moment to represent an incredibly important fight where the stakes are total,
meet the moment and it so amazed
I feel so fortunate that I've
represented by Adam chef night phil, credible gratitude that we have this person
able to stand up there and even in the cynical moment,
even when there are so many republicans who
views to listen, refuse to see the truth, because it is so much easier
ten that their own interests to the country's interests that he can hold their attention and say something powerful enough to get fucking linsey, graham, to tell him after that,
good job every once in a while, I say wow, there is a person who worked their whole lives to be in the right place at the right time to have the skill and expertise and integrity and intelligence to carry the
sounds like this: when, when the glare and the spotlight could it be greater- and I just think that say in spain-
I think people? Might we come back we're going to play a game.
It's happening in florida and amendment four,
I don't go anywhere, is more monitor, leave it coming up, love it or leave it
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in florida, voters overwhelmingly pass amendment four to restore voting rights for one point: four million formally incarcerated people after they completed their sentences, was a victory of democracy and organization and compassion and community over fear.
systemic racism, but even as they were voting for amendment four florida, also elected ron de santis as governor and ever since he has done everything in his power to subvert the will of the voters. Florida changed the definition of completing your sentence to include paying all fines, fees and restitution associated with that sentence, including court fees and administrative fees. Essentially, a poll tax. That means poor people who have done their time, including parole, are now being denied the vote in two thousand and twenty, despite their fellow floridians, going to the polls to demand otherwise, and it could cut the number of people
who otherwise would be eligible newly eligible because of this amendment in half is a tradition and a long history of politicians looking to disenfranchise citizens, especially black people, by redefining what it means to commit a felony and what it means to pay your debt to society. In fact, we wanted to highlight just how easy it is to become a phelan in this country.
game, we're calling phelan kali and the infinite sadness which try
this tells me as a joke about a smashing pumpkins album a reference older than most crooked interns.
Would anyone out there like to play the game hi? What's your name in in? Yes, where are you from you? In thousand oaks, wow yep? She came from london. You know we do what we can how's life in tio. It's terrible
Here's how it works. I will read out loud a crime and if it's considered a felony in usa, true, if it's not say false, ready its affair,
the ability to grow or sell any amount of we'd both know. That's true.
In two thousand and thirteen a man in florida released a bunch of heart shaped balloons as a romantic gesture for his girlfriend, and then he was charged with a felony, true correct,
in alabama a felony to purchase, possess or train a bear for the purposes of bare wrestling. True
the new york, it's a felony to stop walking in the middle of a busy sidewalks it you can dig for your stupid toe.
Balls, and it should be true in Michigan, it's a felony to commit adultery true,
and yet some still went there more than hilary inch
and
georgia, its ability to be sarcastic or condescending to a judge. True note that
also in tennessee, in its ability to share your netflix password false. It is
Lisbon is illegal in tennessee, apparently going to discard it.
as in one four people were convicted of a felony intends to prison for importing lobster tales that, where the wrong size and packaging clear plastic bags rather than cardboard true,
trail. Indiana. Stealing, a hot dog is a felony, that's true
yes, some two hundred and two as the fourteen, because the law says that any theft is a felony. If the thing you stole is no longer usable and guess what he ate, that bug.
In nevada. Is it a felony to expose your penis to a penis doctor? If you don't have health insurance, yes, no
a miracle it it's a felony to day during dark liquor, suggest scotch whisky. False
boss Khomeini account you watching it, it's a felony to kill bigfoot. I hope as false know. It's true
But let us still tat genes are intolerable
it's illegal to to lie about your heightened weight on your driver's license. True, I don't
I hope,
its ability to intentionally hide someone's mail through
new york its ability to grab cops god, if you dont, say you think
it's true
ok, it's as follows.
But I'm not sure
I mean obviously the yankees boss.
I honestly don't do it either way and we'll just have to update that with the backs
horns ability to be both younger and more successful than me, but sadly,
you wanna game in
as you're playing you get a gift card and I you know desmond Meade was on today's bounty of america. He's the executive director of the florida rights restoration coalition. If you text bs s e e s, two eight two, six, two three or if you go to
florida, r, r c dot com. You can help pay the fines in fees of people have been disenfranchised and
It already helped. A lot of people are doing it. A number of ways that you they're going before judges and getting the judges to get people back their right to vote they're, paying these fees and also your listen to this new name rhymes with bombs, dire, MIKE's, room, burke,
and you want to really help Democrats win in november. There are hundreds of thousands of people in Florida who are on the cost of having their right to vote back, and we can all help.
We come back a battle
don't go anywhere, love it or leave. It is more on the wet weather leave it has brought
by better help is there's something they interview
did your happiness has prevented you from achieving our goals. Mr Connell, am I right
better help online counseling is there for you, because it can help with that. Maybe it could help you think about how you feel about it. Yeah, ok, hammer! You know therapists can't remove Mitch Mcconnell from office. We can help you process the emotions heretofore on process
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Help, dot, com, slash love it, the she's, a writer and comedian. The coast are crooked. Media is one keep it please welcome back eight osmond, the don't touch me again, not while you're sick, don't touch me. I won't. Why am I sitting so close? This should be like an episode a movie. What's it called contagion, I'm going to sit like this. The whole book
I watch contagion on a plane, yeah. It's
If we say- oh, my goodness, every fuckin cough thinks we're. Having me,
these an actor comedian and a host of the pakistan pancake presents the Monday afternoon movie. Please welcome sandbag egg. I am grown empty bottle. I dont know why we're here's a zoo
near, enjoy you're welcome
We're being here thinks we're having me I'm a nightmare and we're so much fun
No, it's cyber a game called okay. Stop what I swear to god. You know: we've got to we've got a new intern on the ones and twos
I'm watching
I fear my jobs online. Do you play for keeps world a clip, cannot can say, ok,
at any point of the comment. You know the way you feel in the morning when someone brings a box of doughnuts to the office, and you say you're only going to have a piece that pizza leads to a half an hour,
athletes are trying many halves, and then you find one you really like to eat the whole water before you know it. It's ten am and you have that weird full, but not feel feeling like after a wedding,
a bunch of small things over hours, but ever feel like you really a meal
What do you know what I mean? That's? What box in france,
does every morning to the mines of
fathers, let's see
fox and friends, thought about the most important scented hearing in maybe three decades,
really only time will tell whether or not Schumer's strategy of trying to get all of this out there and what was a marathon day will work or not. Thank you very much growth, and luckily it's so exciting. It's going to keep him awake. If you watch some of it, there were snippets and we're showing you the books that why does everyone at fox news dress like the cake better at a gender reveal party? Why them below like why, if a gender reveal party, as a concept, became a person
they would run fox and friends. You like it brit, like. Let's bring up real patriarchy with
balloons, mindset, that's box and brands. That's why
faces are so waxy. It's just candles melting like just drip those men match, I'm on the tv y'all I have been performed.
thirty years and one thing
they do in wardrobes to make sure that everyone compliments and offsets, unlike its
our team actually matching matthews grown horrible, grin
clownish white man middle aged twins. I don't stop it
what do the women always have to wear, fuchsia, pink or lavender? Is that the one thing I don't watch fox news? I can't I won't. I don't care anymore. I just can't have it in my brain. So this is I'm
west virginia, or I grew up with that bullshit. So I dont this is making me
sick to my stomach anyway
sam. They made a really good point and at its there
one idea. I do mud and it was it was in stark relief when Johns visor resign dancing with sars.
As is used large question mark
inside of all of these places. Inside of fox news inside of apc, there is a fifth column of gay stylus hairdresser,
make up artists where come in every day doing their part for the resistance
our people and- and it may not be
not changed the world. They may not be donald trump overnight. I get it, but there is. There is a gay person who hands each
these two
there's a random going it take it now.
I turn it on you look great while ass or whoever I play him on t v. A lot. I know girl your hair wink secretly looks terrible.
Is unbelievably bore me how people can follow. Ethically republicans approve the rules. Democrats,
over and over and over eleven whiteness, as we want to make us as a right now, I just love the idea of like your job is to explain to people what
happened during those long boarding stretches its
Your dog, like I can but on the news and I can pay attention. Snooze alert, don't worry about it. I don't think we missed anything there.
Like motion to proceed, and what does that mean? I don't know- and I don't care
Are they padding themselves on the back for synthesizing information? That is an average of using this, is, I think, you're babysitter being mike. I watched them you're like that's what I
I need you to do, and also just like so redundant dollar,
but no consideration for the constitution of the rule of law. I'm exhausted
What can I say any more our eye sector services,
anyway. Seventeen eighty seven bunch of people trying to write a constitution, amendment bug boring, boring, boring republicans,
I know we'll see what happens with that. We watched so that you don't have to watch the entire thing you if you watched it, you felt like you were watching the arguments. Those haven't even started. You heard right. This was just the debate over the rules and I was sitting back watching last night. Think this is a circus and then I thought, and then my wife Jen corrected me and said so. At least
circuses or entertaining right like this, is just to show. You know how it's gonna end. Fifty three, forty seven on every vote. Now you have three days to endure of the house managers the Democrats, making their kind of thinking majority last second can just turn to us to be able to summarize it for them obeys, but they're not do
god, you're not actually telling you what happened there, explaining why they were to war to watch it.
imagine, if you will that it was the democratic president, say bill Clinton who was being impeached. Imagine how different that would be on the whitey whitey white white white white set that counts as white as them. It's just sickening they'd be up in arms, foaming at the mouth seething and just like
rending there's man spanks apart and I am speaking from experience and wearing we're now not comfortable
if they turned it on and they thought oh wait. Didn't I hear this a couple of weeks ago and I know how this is going to hear it again tomorrow I'll say
As I have said many times, if you're
amber the film that the twilight zone film, that's the one begins with that
an accurate and albert brooks in a car, yes, and it keeps getting better
lotta movie. I meant that.
Near there's. There's a story inside of that film, in which a little boy has total
control over reality, and so he lives in a house with his family that are forced to do everything at once into every day, it's his birthday and every day he gets a birthday cake and it gets cheeseburgers
peanut butter on them and no one can say anything wrong and the television is only on cartoons. Donald trump is their little boy
who controls the reality, and these are three people living in abject terror that their boy, king
we'll put them inside the cartoon
we come back where the railway
the don't go anywhere, is more limited. Leave it becoming a lumber leave. It is,
you by noon. Getting in shape does have to be about losing a specific amount of
we're in that as an amber on the scale of its about building healthier, habited, feeling better about yourself it fitting into that
repair of genes. Is your goal. That's great! That's right!
But there are many reasons you might want to practise self care and every person is different. What are some of your non scale? Health goals? Sleep, better! Ok, Filmore energize during the day I'm intermittent fasting. I now that's what I'm doing so. I'm eating lunch it like twelve.
thirteen and dinner like six? Thirty? That's it that's why they are meeting, and I just need to make better what are those meals like? So I will say yesterday's
meals were a number wanna talk about which is three taco supreme and then because my brains
I hope I also did add a crunch wrap supreme. Now I only ate three quarters of the current trap supreme. So that brings my calorie count, probably about I had about one thousand calorie lunch. But those are a couple of hours of fasting should take care of that yeah. The fast takes the fastness.
fast knows what to target I, as you can hear, I have a bit of a cold so for dinner I did have soup, so that's something sitting all the way at the other end of the desk. The point is: noom is not a diet. It's a healthy and easy to stick to way of life. No food,
good, bad or off limits, although I I imagine some foods I bet I bet they would. I mean I, I obviously they're they're, clearly they're relativists over at hearing your yeah hearing, your taco bell thing. I imagined noone would dissuade me from the crunch, wrap supreme. I hope so it doesn't tell you what to do what
to do a teaches. You had a look inside your own mind and make better decisions for yourself noon, gets into your brain, like in the movie, the cell, when jennifer,
I had to go into the mind of vincent and off rio to find out where he was keeping those women worried his role until hustlers. Where were you keeping those bad habits? The mind is the scene of the crime
My god, you don't have to change it all in one day, small says: make big progress sign up for your trial today at noom, dot, com, slash, love it what you have to lose visit, noom, dot com, slash, love to start your free
today- that's an oh, oh, am dotcom slashed love, it new moon, cept, an idea in your head
and that the idea is put the tako da noonday complex com lover to leave it as projects,
the cash out, the number one. Fine, it's happened, the app store signals are hard, so here's a song ready regime
Please do with me I'm trying to figure out how I know
go out and another almost have in common. Do they
cash
but blue.
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cash app cash out like a breeze,
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I propose that we are not going to live out. One dad said it's daddy time since unpacking.
And it's it bag it. And can you guys do me a favor? Can you just put Burnett to a cd and mcd sen, ben shapiro and shepherds yeah? I cannot believe tommy missed this one down
because yeah from the app store or google play store today, use a referral code. Crooked one word from sea to shining sea to receive ten dollars and casuals and ten dollars to donors choose a threat thunders
however,
and it started the a will you now it works. We spin the wheel wherever lands, we'll talk about the topics
this week on the wheel, we have gauges m that sounds bad, it's like ages and but for gay people, not gauges and lack of baby wives, c span production, values, space force, camouflage free, brittany intermittent fasting, the crown
and the crown let's spin the wheel-
let me guess, because
interments I'll tell this other than
the long periods of time where you can eat the breeze
And I'm really finding it here's what he is
happening every day, but
a problem run into our. I I've tried and true method to avoid eating late night desserts, there's always gonna be two things in my house right. It's gotta be a loaf of bread,
grainy bread. Three things in my house. There's gotta be a crunchy peanut butter. Alright, I'm gonna return to the peanut butter in a second and there's got to be honey that I didn't buy, but probably Ronan bought for tea, something I don't do, and so
when the monster comes in your midway through an episode of the crown which the moral of the story is always is best, don't get involved,
You know the old
hunting for an ice cream novelty by checking to see if the sea,
as in walking distance, is still open and get a piece of grainy bread, smear on some peanut butter and you put a little honey on. It is a problem that a ten thirty p m and you want to get it
It's sixteen hour fast. Nobody wants to be around you. You've got an attitude cause it's nine. Forty, five and lunch isn't for five hours. Here's the point. We all going to pretend that the fancy organic peanut butter that separates
is better than good old fashioned american skippy are. We all have to continue to tell this lie to ourselves. What
we doing. Last
angeles with this god forsaken, peanut butter, you open it up
and there's two inches all the way to the fucking rim of the kind of oil
that feels like it's run like like ice planet,
that it touches you. It gets on you. You are lubricated like a jet engine, ones that what's that
oil comes over the side of that book.
John John,
be removed, turpentine to clean the side of the bargain jar
if you pour the oil out, you got yourself some wrong.
But it is a thousand and twenty
we have a space force. Have none of the people?
butter age! You see the bathtub if its filled to the fucking brim with
Two inches of motor oil eureka mix is light of rock hard, not pay the second of parking.
Boone touches the oil is everywhere walking around like this is correct and fine and the better more expensive option than this
ba child? That's that's built, provoking bread. You can pay like fucking.
Ross pisa gravy bread when your stay there you're fucking gourd at ten twenty five, because european
the crown because you still on the fence about visiting a place where children die. The point I am making is on switching
to the inorganic peanut butter. I want you to their goddamn word about what they're doing over there something
somethin, three sixty five,
please go at all. I would like it then one day of the threerd
sixty five days making about the packaging, something so
when you get a jar of organic peanut butter, a fucking, so
its projects,
Now you're going to make it on the interment dazzling
This was about that.
I literally started yesterday,
how many hours eight? Are you doing eating eight hours and then off?
I'm doing up really? I think my. I think it's only to work for me. If I shift to a twenty seven hour day,
It's not going to work. I gotta face it. Here's the problem
cheat and haven't breakfast. Let's begin again and terrified,
or is it.
Landed on the lack of
baby wipes ida, I feel, like this choice, reveals a lot about my ass.
Ok! First of all, I would like to say first and foremost, I do now,
When someone said? Oh, my god. Oh my god is right. This is going to be horrible. I don't want to be judged on the frivolous e of which I'm about to speak of
at human faces. I'm gonna get out of your way all the space I need to like ego out it's going to be on here. I recently went to sweden, and maybe the miss london over here can attest to this,
is she at so you know how our bathrooms are stalls and like right here and we can like play footsie with the person next to us. If we really want to. I know
is that when I was in Sweden, there were like little full cubicles that their full rooms.
go to the bathroom. Is it like that in the uk
but do you say majority it's that rather than yes, so you're saying yes,
Why do we shit in barbarity
Why do I have to being close quarters with someone when I'm going to the bathroom with them? It's really disrespectful. Thank you,
in other words and clapping, is a woman
elvis know, because I'm sorry,
of doing this. Like is anybody here when I really want to do a number two. Do you know what I'm talking about so
that and, most importantly, so when I was in Sweden, I decided to venture into the men's
after him, and I was in the women's bathroom and of course they had baby wipes four year.
Ok, so you can be actually clean
then also in the men's bathrooms where I didn't belong, but I went there,
baby changing tables and baby wipes, like just let that sit in for a second. What that means,
is politically ok for the country of Sweden,
and for the baby's of sweden, and why there better people than us back
their dad's wipe their asses with moist hell. Let's
I just want you to think about this. The next time you were in the bathroom be mad, be mad,
think about what you're using to wipe your ass is dry. One ply toilet paper that a fancy restaurant.
Once in a while- and I was sitting at the bar cause, I'm a cool guy someone's eat at the bar. The hallway that led to the restrooms was was by there and a woman came bounding out of the bathrooms and she turned to me a stranger and she she had like an shit like the the like glasses and, like
short hair and like a pigeon, mina page mina pleasure behind a peasant mean come on day boy come on I've, ages, misspoke, witness, don't know it's a push, mina
should the air of a like literature prefer
but the one you want. You want our glass she's cool, but but tough, but you pushes him.
When she came out and turned to me a stranger eating a meal at the bar saying the toilets in here are amazing. I was like I'm sorry what
they have those toilets in their magical, nay, spray, water and air and was wonderful in there and it I feel so clean and good great. She walked away,
then I turned to the bartender: go you guys have those like those those toto toilets that spray water,
yeah and if they are they in the men's room too, and he goes honestly, we had them for two weeks and they stopped working because men are disgusting. I house at four
average friend one time who had one and they make noises in the middle of the night like ghosts like japanese
phantom soldiers there, obviously by capital,
like it is like a self cleaning itself or just moving around for right. You have
What I can tell they dislike literally I was, and there's like
What's going on, there's a ghost robot in the house,
on how it would mansions is probably thousands of murders there anyway.
Fine good night? That's for god's sake, list.
Then again, I got to spare the real again
you have a problem. It has landed on the crown, which means in my heart it has also landed on cspan production values. The crown is a magnificent show, beautiful stirring, but a group of people whose goal in life is to leave no impression, have very little impact and do their best to stay out of politics and they keep failing at it. I put on the the last episode of season three in my house
and ronan was bounding about and he came in and he caught a speech by libya common, which is always a bag, this some time the most important thing a queen,
can do nothing.
and run. It turned to me, and he was like
I assume that by I watch the seas in one, and I soon
by sees in three areas
just some new lesson
because I believe clarify gives that speed,
in season one. It was like. Yes, you did, and yet the crown could not be more stirring. Why? Because it's shot beautifully magnificent score, wonderful performances, rich tapestries and the camera work, my goodness lots of beautiful shots, protagonist centered come around. What's behind him big fucking castle,
pretend you're standing behind somebody and they're. Looking out at the field. You can bet your bottom dollar, then we come around there's the castle and so through the power of cinema to graphy,
and the power of care
angles stirring tail, which brings me to the impeachment trial c span. I don't know what,
Budget is, I don't know what ms mcdonald, let you do or not do,
come around. Show me some
popular reaction, shots at where. Where did you go?
fucking film school, I got. I got a book
I've got a shot on vow damning. That does not move
the bird man caught to it.
God, damn you show me a senator look at it. This thing
wow
it's we understand what's going on, show someone saying something you cut to the
People here in it and by their reactions you have a reaction is well perhaps the same. Perhaps difference at inside.
That tension inside of the
Moving of the camera is a bit of interest, visual cycle
logical, no one fucking still camera on a grey back
and and members of congress speaking for hours, let's minute one more time.
The
It has landed on guidelines for me, or I am engaged annulment of a certain age. I've lived in outlay since nineteen eighty seven I've been around for a minute and a half
Hannah gay. Do you like saw some shit because of aids and everything else now the good thing about me,
a good guy my age nowadays is because of the absent everything, because I let our riper my age. I know I look great.
We're forty and I'm so much every forty them over fifty at that
reporting. So the good news these days
these young byways, comic that they like death. I did
college student from Chicago wanted to do
me out to lunch when he was visiting here and he sat down with me and I was like tell me a story and he was like well, you know my dad left always jump. I dont have daddy issues and I hope his hand. I said you absolutely do
Are you wouldn't be sitting here with this guy, but it's fine. So do I, let's figure them out to gather
but so that
is now now what I was in my twenties and thirties and then in the nineties, minorities and early thirties, as this is
it's dark and in the eighties, when I was teens and early twenties, it was a terrible time to be a gay person. As we all know, and with aids, men were dying. Men
HIV like we lost, so many people it was just go. Do apart
look around you, five closest friends, two years later, they won't be there anymore. Ok, it was that dark. I love my boss. I lost my my uncle
so the idea had no as a young gay performer, I was islands,
Ninety I was never in, I didn't have the energy, so I was always like figuring it out so that
When I was young, I didn't have any mentors that have anyone to look up to who was a gay male performer or comedian. People are in the closet or sick or just not interested. I had a couple of other couple of casting director. Friends with
it is also one do a hug me and that's a different relationship. So
Is that this event like not about it? It's been a few months ago and there's this guy I've met three or four times uses young. Like the young man
please, I guess early thirties, not that young.
median writer person
who I've been around three or four times, and I stupidly with another friend of the conversation revealed how old I was because a part of the thing has taken away the stigma in the gay community of age.
so much so I'm gonna stay right now in front of your google me it's wrong too. I don't care a bit better.
Over fifty so- and I stupidly said my asia, this guy in this one guy said like well, I knew your little one of those guys a little bit older than us, but I know you're at that much older than ours and I was like molly I am, and so then
two events. Later after being around this person are running into the things that have been speaking, not a nice person. We read another thing: he was looking over my shoulder, my phone, which it and I have
taxes on pretty large. I still over reading glasses. So.
but then he looks over my shoulder and he was what he just dug in deep. This bitch couldn't help herself and he was like
god you're. So all your text is so big. How old are you bla bla and I support
When I say to all young people and all of us, older people can say to young people- and you know what I'm gonna say well you're,
you gonna be my age one day or you'll be dead right.
which is the true of all of us, and he said to me I would
just in the meanest nasa's I would rather be.
then your age. I would rather be dead
Now I'm trying to be a good person, because I'm sober seven and a half years and I'm in therapy I'm trying to honey because it was people joke about math, and I'm like that was my diet plan. Ninety seven to two thousand and four guess what it works. England, until it didn't
No more boots for me is like people like. Why do you look so go to my? I don't drink anymore. No one wants to hear that
the proposal does not yet anyway,
drinking enjoy your life are not yet that's me, so I wishes
I could drink, but I don't anyway, so this bitch, I didn't, say anything y'all. I kept it tight. I kept my tongue down, but I- and I should say this- is this person's face that hopefully they'll listen to this, that I should just maybe I'll say to them. I wouldn't like
which do you know
we know how many of my friends I wish they had lived to see that they tell dear
Was young, gay man?
twenty years away from fifty four saying: you'd rather be dead bitch. My friends
did die. My uncle died, my boss died, so many acquaintances, people I work with at johnny rockets when I first moved here the best guy in the world that week, two weeks later, you come back in there like he's dead. That's how
was for us back in the eighties and early nineties until we got the cocktail and that these,
It's not anyone here and I'm not yelling at y'all, I'm yelling at the world and yelling at people who might feel this way is like. Do you fucking? I fought for you. Bitch
be out and be an actor when I first moved here. I thought priore march for your dick and not to be just me, but like all the people guys, my age, a lot of who died,
made it the world okay, for you now so hasn't pocket
inspect your all your elders. All your gay and lesbian then helped us all your gay elders, because a legion of men and women died and the world you have now so respect the pitch. The most young gay guys are sweet, little angels, like John love it and do respect so awesome.
single. If you just thing you know, I was
noble ramp. Thank you really want
so much love them. I thank my friends. You aren't with us anymore.
And that's our joke. Large, two hundred and eighty days until the election, thank you say upon some doors. Great night, mother leave it as a product is written produced by john loving either word our head writer, like a member's speech, writer, travis headway and writers, joscelyn kaufman, felicia, carol, Peter Miller, building
is our editor and frank tadic is our sound engineer. Our theme song is written and performed by sure sure, thanks to our designer jesse, Mclean and james skills for creating and running oliver visuals, but you can't see because this is a podcast and your digital producer producers, normal conan and yell freed for filming and editing video each week. So you can.
Transcript generated on 2022-09-09.