Greg Fitzsimmons is a writer and stand-up comedian. He also hosts a podcast with Alison Rosen called "Childish" that is available now on iTunes & Stitcher.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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My guest today is one of my best friends
one of the guys I started out doing stand up with
my most brilliant friends and just one of the most fun guys
Chicken man's man he's Greg Fitzsimmons. Ladies and gentlemen, let him know the Joe Rogan experience trying my day, Joe Rogan podcast by night all day. That's it two count from young Jamie
Gregory. How are you fella
Joe Rogan, always a pleasure to be back in the? What I love is that you kept this studio the same as the old one, because the vibe was perfect. I tried to recreate
don't look as long as we had the desk. We have the heart. We have the heart of the studio, the rest of it's just stuff and Jamie.
Heart Jamie, this
some about I'd. I really think that when you use a desk for a long time, there's something about desks like if you found out like Hunter S, Thompson s desks was for sale,
yeah, the shit I get my hands on that, but that's got some ooze,
So he wrote on this holy shit. Yeah, nice old one of those old like railway station roll top desk old, is the best yeah. I gotta protect my shit while I'm out
Nobody reads my of my all time. Favorite photos of him was him typing in big.
Er, like sitting on like this, this outside table typing, I think, he's on the edge of a cliff or something like that. In the background you see the water yeah. You know that photo Jimmy.
Yeah. That's it right. There now look at that and with the pipe yeah that is one of the most iconic writing photos of all time, Hunter s: Thompson with hair, with a typewriter in front of the water, at big sur, and probably like nineteen
sixty something- and you know his schedule- you read his schedule at his daily schedule:
Did I read it
lived. I read it on air and I might have read it on air with you yeah. I think he did a self portrait hello, so he took the picture.
Was wow.
So this is what is listed as this is in big sur. That's when he was in the
the early stages of his eruption. That was
right around when he was writing Hells angels, probably yeah sixty one yeah that motherfucker was unique. Yeah did you ever see his documentary now there's a couple of really good
ones, but um the one that was the mainstream one. What was that yeah yeah? It's called gone Zo and then there was there was another one that was made by BBC. That's really good too, but yeah. If you get a hold us fucking Hemingway's desk, wow yeah, Emily, maybe like worth too much, but you wouldn't want to write on it. Yeah, that's true. You know it's coming
she's dancing like. I can't write on this fucking thing. It was hunters desk that I had totally right on it. Well, first, you scrape the excess coke off the top just lick. It lick it out
white pages and from the underside of the table,
the Vad sauce off. Besides what about its typewriter? How much you think is typewriter
Hemingway's house in hangouts, preserved in Havana, so they preserved where he lived, and I wonder if that's where he killed himself, I think he was in Cuba when he killed himself Morrow yeah man, his some his style of writing in, like that whole bravado, that went with him. Now he was a different cat. Who is like a a you thought of him
like an aggressive male writer. Like that's an odd thing like Hemingway right, you know he was.
Aggressive yeah wasn't
even Stephen king for always most horrific depictions of
Ellinson Gore and terror in his books. He's not thought of his. Like I imposed
physical thing. Well, anyway, was in the war you know is elder.
The age he was the he used to go skiing,
in the winter in I think it was Switzerland and they would all there was no chairless back then so you would fucking grab grab your
Fifty pound skis and walk up the
head of the Alps Jesus cry.
Like one two a day to take one fucking around, and he would do that every day. That must be amazing for you, yeah god damn,
The kind of exercise Skis
Hill in the snow, that's incredible exercise. They were jacked
but those skiers from the olden days yeah. They had to be like crazy athletes. Yeah and this
these were long back. Then they were like twice as long as they are now. When did anyone
figure out a ski lift. I don't know
but I mean Hemingway would have been skiing and what the 1930s twenty seven god damn dude yeah the walk uphill and day
you have to be dedicated. How good are you ever going to get? I mean normally
You do in a day, maybe
Do a dozen runs going up.
Couple miles, and this
when you do one run, that's it yeah. You got to be dedicated. Try getting a like a lazy person to do that. Lazy people, skill
you know I mean because you just
to get into it and you can glided did yeah. You don't have to like get crazy right. You can just feel like I'm not good. So I ski like a lazy person yeah, I just like don't fall, don't fall, don't fall.
Don't fall, didn't fall. That's literally means ski because of a knee surgery. Three dollars racy, it's crazy. How quickly you can up your body skiing. I am so I've skied, my whole life
never had an injury, and I ski hard I hit every fucking jump I can find you might be the only one that I know that, like my friend Matt, he broke his ankle. Ari broke his ankle and happen in the course of like just a
friends at school friends at school parents at school blew out their acl.
Aw yeah, I don't want to do that when you're forty three, you don't
The thing is you get to a certain age, you, the risk reward, because the injuries takes so much longer to heal yeah, and you have so much less time to live. He just the math doesn't work anymore, yeah to ski. You got to protect your knees if you can,
Yeah. He needs are so goddamn important. Whenever people have like her knees and they keep working out, I always cringe yeah.
Well again, I'm not going to get it fixed, I'm just gonna rehab it. What do we talk about? Rehabbing rehab and you just can't ignore the fact you don't have an a c l yeah like rehabbing yeah was gonna fix you thanking a feed.
You don't have the stability in your knee, so there's a lot of guys
blow it out and they keep exercising. They just chew the inside of their knee apart.
Something going on. In my the inside of my left, knee for two fucking months. If I try to squat down, it kills is like a tendon on
the inside of the knee, and
so I'm going to start some physical therapy this week to try to figure it out 'cause. I can't I have an exercise and fucking two months just because of this one thing: what am I going to do
Now I do more cardio, I don't really lift that much have you will ever thought about getting like p r, p or rich king
anything into it? Oh now, what's that well
r p is platelet, rich plasma and what they do is they take your
blood and there's some sort of a process they do and they separate it, and then they take this platelet rich plasma and the injector.
It into the wounded area and accelerates healing yeah. A lot of people have really good results with that yeah and then there's this
called for keen. That's like platelet rich plasma, but it's apparently the next step up and what they do. Is they heat your blood
and by heating it it produces something. I'm for sure. If your doctor, I'm so sorry that I'm butchering this, if you're a scientist,
but I think it produces some sort of anti inflammatory serum, because your blood is reacting to the heat.
Here's the here, here's explains I've had this done and it was really effective.
Yeah serum removed from the layer and cultured with glass
need so that a white blood white blood cells produce are a p which is a natural anti. Inflammatory glass be
is going into your knee. I don't understand what that saying. It's a
serum was removed from this layer and cultured with glass beads
so removed after the platelet rich plasma, so they may completely rich plasma. They gay
zero and then they and then they culture it. So the white blood cells produce this natural anti inflammatory. Is they trick the white blood cells? I guess maybe for lack
better word anyway. So this shit, it's really good for
accelerating your recovery,
process for an injury like a lot of people. Do it like, while they, if they get surgery to get surgery- and they have some of this done to it accelerates the healing right, especially
you get older. It provides you with any it's actually natural to you have to worry about it, but it provides you with this just an extra boost of healing yeah for weird neck injuries and back injuries. People like it for its really good for lower back and
he's we'll his inflammation, you know, and so then they did they is it local. They shoot the blood into the area. Yeah yeah yeah, it's freaky,
put this little needle in you, and then they screw the blood cap in there. It's like it's like, yellow. Now it's yellow. It's like this yellow serum. They back into your back yeah. It's weird. I think they would do my cock, think it it up for you, but I want your blood in my car dude. I don't know if that's Lee
you can sell all kinds of things:
but you can't sell somebody your own blood. Is that right? I don't think so, do you
you could sell your own blood, I mean if you have like a blood bank right sure, there's a website. You could probably do you think so
web deal and myth about selling people yeah
sure William Shatner would be doing it. If you could. No, I don't think you could just like. If someone was selling blood like
there's a lot of those young enterprise,
young gals on the internet
cell, like dirty socks, they sell toenail clips and I'm not kidding, I'm not kidding yeah, nothing, nothing goes to waste. No, nothing goes for blood for sale, India's illegal red market. What is this James? Oh? This is like this is ah they're doing it like medically, though an alleyway yeah, but that's how they do it there
man, that's crazy, are. Is there still a ban on
people in gay people giving blood that's a very good question
they've, gotten so close to stopping HIV and they can get it like not a from wrong, then get it like to you to the point. Where can't you detect even oh yeah, which is
yeah and now in the third world 'cause my friend Peter current? He
way and Mozambique,
and he used to work for the health department in LA county. He was the guy that was in charge of AIDS prevention and
so he got a job working over in Africa.
He said that you can now cure, not
here but stabilized somebody with HIV with a pill. That's like
sixty dollars a month or something like that, wow yeah they've got the price way down in Africa. Now, that's incredible!
why is there so many cases of HIV in Africa? Well,
I think when nutrition is poor, then there's
or cutting and bleeding,
because I had heard that a lot of what you see in terms of like the, if they're talking about AIDS in Africa, that it's a very easy to put aids,
I put like that category AIDS that sometimes it's people with damaged immune systems.
A host of different diseases now that it's sometimes the people are getting tested, always wondered like how me those people are tested for HIV right right. What is but the the fact that a guy like MAGIC Johnson is
had it since you, member did when you heard MAGIC Johnson at at I was in a panic yeah. I felt like it was a zombie movie like it's happened here: art it and the
we're just going to get it, we're all going to die of AIDS, everybody
our generation. When you I
twenty one? That's what everybody thought
go die from AIDS right now? Magic Johnsons looks great.
You still alive. You think how many people have died. We did
HIV and we're worried about this. One thing
I remember he wanted to play it. The all star game and all the players were like now, I'm good
slam dunk contest by the office, Food Jesus Christ, but what did what
did Fucking Damon Wayans used to have a bit
about Dennis Rodman about Dennis:
Rodman spitting in magic, Johnson's mouth to symptoms, the like he's. If
wanted to try to get hardcore with them.
I hope he did. Damon's armor
huge Damon Wayans fan. So I hope I'm not butchering his bit, but I think that was
I know that was his line. I'll speak you
mouse accelerated symptoms.
Damon Wayans in my opinion, is like one of the
most ignored greats. I agree.
Percent. I used to open form sometimes and
twice. I remember him. Coming in on a Thursday night, it was
Thursday to Sunday, Faneuil Hall, comedy connection Thursday.
Lady comes in fucking, yellow pads. He
goes up and just regurgitates a new hour and gets okay laugh
for a new our Friday night. He comes back tighter, tighter Sunday night. It's like
he would fucking destroy with a new hour. It was crazy, he's really good man
yeah. He would go out. He would just go up at the comedy store
and literally let whatever
thought came into his head and he take long sets and he would take that stuff and he would turn that stuff into a killer,
tennis and bits, but for whatever reason I think he just got into doing sitcoms more right. It's like fuck, it yeah. You know
yeah he's a he's
That's an interesting family man. They, you know they grew up in the projects in Manhattan. Do talent in that family, yeah Keenan
in Marlin Sean with Jesus Christ. Yeah, that's a lot of,
and it isn't Damon son doing stand up to now. Yeah dude.
Damon Junior right, crazy family. Now, that's a crate, you better be in show business now, family,
Are you doomed yeah? We think about that. It's like right like if you want to come.
With your brothers Keenen Ivory, every Wayans, Damon.
Is Kim Wayans, Shawn, Wayans, Marlon, Wayans, Damian Dante, Wayne's, Damon, Wayans Jr, that's all of them yeah all of in show business. It's amazing yup,
Good luck until and had a fucking great talk show how the
great writers, he was really good. As a talk show host yeah, he was so talented, fucking, family man, yep
but for whatever reason, Matt Damon did this one HBO special. I think he called it his last stand, and ah it was really good man. It was really good and the end of it. He just throws the microphone down and says like this is the last time,
doing stand up. Oh no shit yeah, I just like it decided, was gonna do movies. That's it last stand with a question mark yeah
he got. You know just got into other stuff, but
me man when he was like go up and above go that photo the,
like that was the stage the beret wearing stage yeah duty, I'm telling you people forgot he's one of the best
best ever do he would murder that one particular specials just murderous. He had a lot of great sets. Yep on television.
But just like real original regional to like one of those guys we'd watch and you go god damn. Why didn't I think of that?
His voices were so fucking good. You know a lot of times. People do their girl
invoice and it's just it's just saw
it just sounds like the guy. Raising his voice is no like female intonation to it or anything, and his
his voices and his wife or a girlfriend amazing versus l, and then
or just like Richard Pryor Pryor said I mean you had so many characters in living color. How about handyman, you could
do that yeah
You know you could never do that to you. Yeah,
a homeless guy.
That's another show in living. Color is another show that people forget. They forget how
good. It was yeah yeah
Is this handyman? They don't even share reruns. That should do the things. They're re runs a handyman yeah. I remember what it was on tv man, no one!
could stop saying Homie, don't play that everybody would say that everybody
at homie don't play that like every kid would say that, because homey, the clown homie don't play that
Well, people
I forgot about homey the clown. They should come back Netflix, please throw some money,
getting get. They try to tell it back on the air. They just tried to do it and it don't fell apart. What happened? I know they had big money and
I don't know if it was going to be the original cast. I might have been part of the original cast of better. What happened was
slope. Is you want to be a fly girl, yeah right? This is like no. She should jump on that. That was original. She jumped back in with a fly girl. Again I mean how much time would take that much time now
she's there she's there. She probably could dance in her sleep all right, yep, damn it. I would love to be a fly girl yeah.
Wonder who else was a flag or the other famous ones do that show was so good. I remember
watching it. I was playing pool in Yonkers New York and I looked up at this. This
reset and it was Jim
doing the the the fire
are sure fire Marshal bill was like what the fuck is going on. Yeah this guy's got a burnt up face that Rosie Perez Koya, Graham for the first four seasons. Rosie president giant boxing fan huge giant boxing. Huh yeah, like people like she's, like a boxing expert, not like a expertly trained fighters. But like people, ask her questions
yeah about boxing she's a real enthusiast, that's a better term. Instead of an expert I mean. Maybe she is an expert I don't know, but
He is always around box. I think it's because you always think of her as having that that
voice- and you know, and all those comedies and to see her at like boxing matches- are really into it. So yeah yeah,
Jim Carrey, I mean Jesus Christ, he would do the the
convenience store security guy and he was just so big and so big so different. Then, like I mean you have to go back to Jerry Lewis, to think about somebody doing physical comedy that well yeah he was he was at ten like is to his energy, and everything was like the
fuck in ACE Ventura movie like that move
just all performance. What is this? What what is this Vera Milo to that fucking show was so good? Yeah people forgot yeah, yeah,
fire Marshall Bill. So I was in. I was
Pool Hall, and I looked up and like what the fuck is that
and they're like that's fire Marshall Bill. That's
Yes, he came in like that. I like that, is the creepy shit. I've ever seen. It can't believe they have a character like this.
It was so over the top. Do you think
Jim Carrey, or maybe one of the
his brothers has bought up the
It's for re runs because they don't want that blowback yeah. Now it's a different era you have to accept is a different era in the just
four different people are changing and it's a really interesting obvious sign.
That things that were super acceptable, and when was this.
Leaving color, I want to say it was like nine thousand two hundred and ninety four nine thousand and ninety four yeah, so that
The way you could do certain bits and what you get away with
put on television was just different, so I think that's one of the like.
Probably one of the least understood things that's happening,
us with social media is, is rapid evolution of what's acceptable, not acceptable. Yeah in this changing very quickly in terms of
objects in terms of the way you approach things in terms of like obvious bigotry or obvious bias. It's like it's all, getting very highlighted. Well, I think the big
question is whether or not you see an artist as somebody who's
taking their inner vision and putting it out and you go for
Friday, you don't or
is it? Are we supposed to be representing society in our stand up, or is it all supposed to be fair, balanced representations of different ethnic group?
send genders. You know, and it's like
When did it all have to become a morality tale? When did every day
fiction of every race have to be fair?
Can't you have an asshole who's black can't you have a killer, who's gay without it becoming a depiction
of that entire. You know. Subgroup yeah, it's like
What are a real problem is that prejudice does exist so when it does exist, you kind of look for it and things- and you say hey: this- has the characteristics of Pres.
Yes, I see this here. I see what you're doing here that I think this is prejudice.
No, no. This is making fun of puerto rican. Men is not prejudice yeah. This is an account.
Of real occurrences that I've turned into humor yeah, the the.
Buoyant masculinity of puerto rican, men like in New York, like that's, if you, if you thought of
a type of latino sort of
bravado
the music, the food everything spicy, like you,
Make fun of that. Yeah come on. I know
Quinn, does the whole thing about being racist right, Puerto Rican who never inside or outside there, always both like this as a window open people on the inside and outside are talking. The car door is always open their half in the car there half right this is
racist. This is observation survey. Can I make an observation? Can I tell you that yesterday about twice a week I go to this japanese market in MAR Vista and they've got all different
tons of you know,
you can get sushi Tempe or whatever the parking lot for this place, because
eighty percent of people there asian film it and put it on a fucking
television channel it is. It is just people,
unless you produce it e. I could announce it like. I was a J foyt you're, an Emmy award, winning writer. You could actually do something like that. You're, like a legit writer, you could totally produce that give you
imagine announce it like NASCAR, it's just people like not gay
Bing how to get out of a parking spot without taking like 8k turns
and people on the wrong side of the street and backing up without looking over the shoulders and they're all asian and it's fucking hilarious? I didn't, I didn't tell them to do it. I didn't say it was wrong, but it's happening yeah
Dave explained it? Why it's a stereo
type, but why also why asian people would
be more likely to walk straight, and you know like if you
you go to China or if you go to any of those asian company asian countries, when people
walk straight at each other, they all kind of have this way of touching, and they just there's so many
so they're just grinding past each other yeah. So when you
in China, in particular, people are like in different to bumping in,
doesn't bother them at all they just bump into you,
like, if you're in the Isle of a plane they just bump into you like they'll, do it to little kids just walk right through here,
just that's how they did not rude. This is like how
not really different. This is more crowded. Why can't you comment on that
Why couldn't you comment on that? If that's a real thing 'cause, that is a real thing. They do do that yeah. They also do a lot
great stuff. It's not like you're, not is a negative judgment on the entire race because they have this one characteristic, but to ignore that
uncharacteristic seems crazy, like. Why can I talk about something? I'm not it's, not
I mean not a bad person to talk about a real thing that you see an icy like. What is that I get?
food on stage sometimes now that never used to happen
What would you say? I did a joke, we don't say the joke, but just like
I'll say it, I don't care, because I do
think it's offensive, but but this person did-
and it was you know I go it's girl
it's girl scout cookie season. Those little whores are out there popping up their tables wherever you are selling those stale shitty overpriced, but you buy
because it makes you feel good, like you're, a good person, you know, and then you walk through
parking lot and some black kid comes up. With a box of snickers gone, hey, we used to
my basketball, team and you're, like that's a fucking skin
that goes boo,
they're, not all skit, like that,
what we're saying, stupid, you're doing a character,
I'm commenting on a very real thing, my entire life. I have bought
scout cookies and I have not always bought that fucking stickers.
Are in the subway or the sometimes I d'oh yeah, the girl scout cookies. It's universally accepted yeah right, but they only have like the ones
I like the ones. It's like a coconut one, does someone! I like chocolate, Andrea you on that one, this one little caramel dance for them as a
but they got one called. Does he, but then there's also like this
steps away from girl scout cookies. Well, you don't have to participate like when kids come over with chocolate or candy yeah yeah, thanks yeah good, don't eat that stuff, like you kind of have to buy girl scout cookies. You want to support the girls
yeah, but you know it's such a scam. All that money goes to the manufacturer. Apparently the girl scouts make like twenty percent of the cookie money, really yeah they're getting fucked girl scouts to get
Of course, someone came in some ruthless man, probably the mola
was that's exactly what it is. Those are that yeah with milk with,
cold glass of milk? Don't come out for.
Yeah, it almost taste like meat. Look at that then look at it with its chocolatey, coconut Y. Goodness. What do they have to be so bad for you?
when I was when I was working on a tv show. One of the producers
the daughter who was in the girl.
Cats, and I guess you win contest if you sell over, if you saw the most cookie boxes so when the
audience would stream out after the show is a daily show and the audience
stream out and the
girl had a table set up to sell
cookies and she was selling one hundred dollars
is a day and for every day she was there. Fucking won that contest
and they would have the audience warm of guy like plug it during the show like after the show like a comedian selling his cds, after the show you go, buy some girl scout cookies on the way out.
Have all these please fat people from the Midwest like
cookies,
Marie Callender's. They just have pie just by just pie, not even good pie, it's good, but it's not great. Considering it's all they do. I should have eaten there. I don't think I've ever eaten there, maybe hate it one. I don't think I had their pie. That seems a weird thing. Like I'm selling pies like good luck, Google
Umpire's gonna go broke, but they're everywhere. We know you have another too to you know you have flower branch out a little bit like who,
it's famous as selling pies like
geniuses that company company men's
Redmans Entenmann's, but then they they
yeah, they start doing cakes and cookies too, but they only they did just pies for a long time. Dude they used to have this this God, damn it. This pastry I'm trying to think of what the hell it was, but it had like
hard sugar on the outside of it and that it had some sort of creamy sweet stuff on the inside but holy shit. Was it good, yeah, God Damn
lived off that should we happens every night they had like they had one
had like a chocolate filling in it and it was powdered, outsides filled, chrome.
They went out of business and then they say, oh, that was the cheese one. That was a good one too. I remember the cheese filled crumb, those they had some ridiculously delicious shit here, one of the other big ones,
You know I decided to fight in the tournament once
because I had a crazy sugar high from Dunkin donuts I've hurt myself. I hurt um something in my crotch. I couldn't work out for like a week, yeah pulled some sort of a muscle. There was a big tournament. It was coming up and ah my all the guys that competed with we're going to the tournament was like. I had just fought like a week before I was like. I don't think I could
Do it? I'm like this doesn't feel right. I'm just gonna take the whole week off, so I decided I'm just gonna take off, let this thing hell and so
deliver my newspapers and I go to Dunkin donuts and I got this powdered
and filled doughnut. I got one of those and I got out of Boston, cream, don't and you're. One of those- and I got I ate like three doughnuts- said- be exhausted, tired drinking coffee delivered newspapers for
three hours and I was so jacked on sugar and coffee that I said fuck it. I want to fight
and so it's correct, I dropped. I drove into town like right before everybody was leaving there like. Why are you here? I said I'm going to fight anyway, man,
Beavis and Butthead. I won. I won. The tournament is a giant tournament. For me, it was big. It was. The American Open was like a big. It's a big deal, wow yeah
it wasn't going to do it. I got jacked up on sugar and made a rash decision,
I can see you winning the first match, but then then, then you crash now gotta keep fighting. No it didn't
worked out somehow or another. I guess I ate when I got there too, but also the
golf I'd, never done that like taking a week off, sometimes
We do something like that where you, if you exercise too much,
always in a state of recovery and your body,
didn't get a chance to look fully charge back up again, so the I
most probably nineteen and I was going hard like every day.
Did. I could so I've never really taken a week off so taking a week off and just be like wow. This is, did take a week off when I started getting laid yeah,
One thing that happened the first time you got laid yeah when I first started getting laid. I took a long time off yelled at yeah I get yelled on I wasn't doing. Any training came back all tan and shit.
All you did was fuck. That's a workout at that age. That's a workout, you know
There are twenty minute sessions. It's weird how your body changes.
From no no urge to fuck?
like fucking. Is your whole life like when you're eighteen years old,
your whole life, like you, found the
easiest drug ever and like two years ago, wasn't in your life.
And it's in your life and also you're having
sex and, like I can't believe this and you
I believe that women are letting you do it because for years they were stopping you and now they're initiating, yes can't leave. They want you,
do you want me to fuck you
this is what you like. Yeah, okay yeah feels wrong
but if you insist feels wrong that you like it,
weird mentality, that we think it's wrong, that they like it. Is that a Christian that so crazy? I think it has to do
do with initial.
If you read sex at dawn, he's got
really interesting series of thoughts on the origins of sexual behavior.
And why why we all sort of adopted this one thing now: it's? What do you think? Let me ask you, I
It's christian. I know it is for me. You know I got a lot.
I got a lot of shame about all that stuff. I think it has to do with people getting pregnant too yeah.
I think it had to do with. It was too easy for a girl to get pregnant and if a girl got pregnant back when people were fucking,
barely making it out of the caves right. It was either.
That's good 'cause, you had food or it was a real burden because you had to take care of this
We now know near you're not going to be gathering food for us right. I think there was a law.
That going on. So if you were going to be with a person- and you decided to make babies,
You got to be sure that this person is
be there and take care of everything and you're you're all set up, so you can't just be back.
A bunch of guys on the side having kids with everybody, then who's gonna raise your kids right who, with the what these guys can come over and talk to his kid he's. Gonna come over talk to his kid yeah. The becomes a problem right, leading that
and the amazing thing is that having kids back then for guys, the reason why guys stuck around
You know we have four hundred and one k is an IRA accounts back then it's like when you, when you couldn't gather any more. You were at the mercy of charity, and so, if you had a lot of kids, you had a chance of being able to actually live into your old age, yeah yeah. That would take care of you yeah.
It's also interesting too, because there was so much infant mortality back. Then, though,
there is a lot of places with his real good evidence that they had fertility cults. I too were trying to figure out ways to get pregnant more an easier, really trying to have a bunch of kids here, because kids are, you know, kids time
a lot. Yeah then died from injury and sickness, and a lot of people died from sickness, no vaccines right,
you just at the mercy and then also it's the beginning of agriculture, so
all these diseases are emerging, that we don't have immune systems for, because they're being there being jumped from like they're they're, jumping from pigs to people, they're jumping from chickens
birds to people, that's where the source of most of these,
pandemic. Diseases come from, it comes from large scale. Agriculture yeah, those funky pigs. All talk together.
These little cages that doesn't come for free yeah, like there's, some demons are being brewed in that mix. Oh yeah yeah like this. What was this
what was the source of the spanish flu, which I think
was the most deadly epidemic in US history?
I was that right. It was international to two was international for sure I think for sure,
Where was the most deadly epidemic in the US yeah, but I think it
I don't think it came from Spain. I think I want to
It came from somewhere around Virginia
going to takedown, probably New Jersey, I feel like it came from some sort.
Farm situation.
I don't know why I'm feel like I'm
I'm surprised it's not more of that now, because you see some of these like pig farms,
we have links. There are lakes of waste. Have you seen the drone footage? Is that we're talking about? Oh, my god, some guy fluid, because they have these AG gag
laws which apparently one of them just got shot down.
Somebody sent me an email
maybe was Idaho or Iowa one of those place one rose. I states that the AG gag laws
shut down, the AG gag laws are safe. You were working in a slaughterhouse and you saw horrific conditions. You got your cell phone out, you filmed it, you could get prosecuted, you would go to.
So you could be sued because of Food INC and all those documentaries it came out. Well, I think
is AG. Gag laws existed as soon as they figured out that people could film thing yeah. You know because a few people released videos of her and it looked those AG gag laws kept cat people from talking about a lot of creepy shit. Like this view,
yeah. Oh yeah, you see this video. This guy decided
since no one's going to give him access to film the place openly? He's gonna fly over it, so
over with a drone. Is the spanish flu thing
okay for many years, medical historians and epidemiologists hypothesize that the outbreak could have started in a British
Army base in Etta Place France or at four
Riley in Kansas, where the first american case
is of the new strain of flu were recorded in March of nineteen eighteen,
more recently experts have experts have proposed a third hypothesis. The spanish flu originated somewhere in northern China in late
one thousand nine hundred and seventeen and swiftly moved to Eastern Europe within one hundred and forty
one thousand chinese laborers in the french and british governments
did to perform manual labor to free up the troops for wartime duty now yeah. I think more people die
that then they died then died in World WAR one. I think so fifty million people were killed because of this damn well
Just think about alone. Here of fifty million people, look at this
says claiming more lives in a single year than either the first World war.
Or the four year long, black death, bubonic plague outbreak that swept Europe in a
Gia in the middle ages, and this is one that, for whatever reason people talk about the plague they talk about and the Bubonic plague like everyone, but no one talks about the spanish flu. Like that's a rare, it's not! It doesn't get brought up that. Often, if you see this
number, this number of people die fifty million people in a year in a year, man, people
talk about how bad the world is right now, but they're saying to kill,
hold more lives in a single year than either the first World WAR or the four year long black death debunked have killed in it. One slash three of the population was sick with it.
God damn I mean people think that the world is in such bad shape. We don't have plagues
You know there is the poverty rate for the average poverty
great in the world has gone up for like the last ten years. There's less poverty,
less starvation is more education. You know there's a lot of
a good shit going on too, but just think about that we haven't had a world war in what
seventy years yeah yeah it's been, it's been quite a while
not to say not to diminish the wars that are happening now, but something that really affected. You know the
entire population? You always feel like, even since high school that it's always been like around the corner. Yeah that, when were in high school, was the big fears that we're gonna to
or with the Russians. Do you remember going into the coat room and put in your head between your knees? Did you have to do that? I don't think we did that we used to do this. We did that
get under the desk. Drill were hilarious, get out of the desk
It's so stupid like which is a nuclear war. Do they used to tell you you're gonna get on your desk, okay, as if they had some way to alleviate our stress yeah attending get under the desk. I want to give you an answer. Yeah. Nobody knew what the fuck to do so they just made up some nonsense. Let's get under your desk
duck and cover nuclear war. That linoleum is going to save your life. Yeah. Look at this. This is
drill all these little kids underneath their tables. What a up thing to put in the kids head man,
just stop and think about how close we were to doing something so stupid that this could have become a reality and how now think about
now. This is a reality in certain parts of the world like in it. In our place, it's not, but in other places it is Anna and that's that's their life mean, especially when it comes to things like drone warfare that freaks me at
out. I know it's very effective at shooting terrorists. I know it is. I know it's excellence, also super effective at killing civilians, super effective
yeah and there's something about when you think about how we're being perceived in the rest of the world is something about not even being present for the accidental killing. That makes it just you know,
is bad. Just seems. Weird apparently gives him pretty severe, PTSD yeah um. You know I'm laughing because I'm like thinking like that so crazy that they don't even have to be there and they're getting PTSD like
the fact that they're doing it from a real, well yeah. I heard that right. Well, it's a free gathered there, some of them yeah, I'm by the way. This is just what I'm reading my
name true now I read that sensationalized,
but I would imagine that would kind of fuck with your head yeah the first couple times to be fun,
if be like a video game and then and they would start to sink in when you
when you heard the reports later You'D- have to sew detach yourself from it. That would be like this growing thing. In the back of your mind, yeah you just launching missiles into apartment buildings all
and they're telling you it's okay, everybody says it's: okay, yeah! That's what you're supposed to do when I talked to
this gentleman- and I know that was in the cia- he said that
Those decisions are done by lawyers really, whether or not they do or not do
because at the day, lawyers the deciding whether or not it's like likely to be successful to be successful legal ramifications when you're talking about that kind of stuff is like seriously
it was decided by lawyers right because they want to have if you sure, operated the sighting, and
yeah, and they want to make sure that all the ducks are in order. Yeah, which I mean. Is that better or worse I mean? Is it better, just leave it to the generals to decide you get this cartoon
impression of what that would be, like some general, like the fucking guy from avatar, we'll go down there, we're gonna, fucking Rudy yeah, that's what everybody is worried about the character, the cart.
Vanish out of control murderous soldier. It was Q movie, oh
Full metal jacket, no, the one with the Peter sellers was in it and it was about how I how I something
nuclear bomb. Oh yes,
strange yeah, like
general in yes, yeah there always like cartoonish yeah
better hope guys like that are on your side, doctor strange that was a great movie man. It was so weird to watch it today.
I watched it a few years back. Did you really yeah, like maybe four or five years back and wash it? I was like wow, it's so wild to watch these little captured moments in time, where you can see that people were different, then
like old movies. When you watch old movies, you know what the biggest
vacation that something different is women did
work out then yeah they weren't like fit like you,
re used to seeing a lot of actresses that are on
v in the new movies. Did they all do like cross
yeah or something they're, all working out there, all taking gymnastics or something or they're doing spin
lasses, and they have trainers. They're doing these box jumps and shit like girls are built now it's a different thing. If you go looking like
in Kong? Look like Fay Wray and King Kong Soft
they're, not even picking up their groceries like this built, different
and they don't last. If they didn't do manual labor, they don't last
some of them do when they do it's a shock like Racquel Welch like deep in her 60s, like Jesus
still hot, so feel around right and Jesus yeah, so few of them that were so potent yeah but they're they're spelled lasted their entire existence. Just start. What is this Jane, Fonda Workout and on the back in the day, with the doggie thing? What was that, like
one thousand nine hundred and seventy seven cents, physical, physical yeah,
to get physical. That was crazy,
That was so fucking big. It was the first time women were marketed to for exercise. I think so I think so. I think before that women,
he competed in athletic event
like. My ass sticks and shit like that when they were young but then when they probably
that families or moved on a job. They probably stopped this.
One Jane DOE Aerobic Championship man. Oh my god, look at this is a choreographed dance. This is so strange. Wow! That's right! Do you, member aerobics, right, quick, I'm going to take an aerobics class, remember that people would just dance around and you would do stuff feel the pump pump pump and two hundred and three hundred and they turn it every
Buddy Gay for about five years. All these guys look at these guys, these guys,
straight as fuck, and they don't even know they're doing gay stuff, you know
like it's like when before ever
he knew that Rob Halford from Judas priest is. It is gay he used to make everybody dress up like him, because every
like the kids that were straight kids, were huge, huge fans of Judas priest. They would wear the cap and the yeah wearing gay aesthetic like gay biker. Look
tough guys, everybody got into it because they loved him
is Judah, so bad ass and he's such a fucking awesome front man that, like he had straight,
guys dressing up like a gay bike, that's fucking hilarious! Then he comes out and they're all still like what is so confused, but he did it in a concert: huh,
jazz it up. Now you say when and they
down there, what you're wearing
I like in my men.
I had him on a show. I did once
I was like this thing for Vh one called the list
that is it it to yeah here he is look at that. I mean look at the outfit Bro seriously,
Leather Paperboy hat on yeah, it's more a soul.
His hat and he's got leather
Gaston with no shirt and needs leather, gloves at spike. All sm shit, yeah tight, tight, tight leather pants. It's hilarious!
Freddie, Mercury, yeah man, man. What was my point? Well we're talking about something right before we talk
not that both the aerobics so yeah, the rovers guys like mom, and they had dudes where in singles, look at this look at this outfit. This is that's like a
engl from wrestling, but with long pants yeah. This is bananas that they got men address like this. Look at what they're
wearing you see their nipples, like their nipples, are popped out there also
Super gay doubt this big asses, like those three quarter length, Reebok High, tops exactly with the velcro you had to get the
crow. That's the newest technology.
Yeah. So look every girl is dressed like you know, I guess they look more like why they have two different outfits: the girls
some of them exposed the mid drift like the dirty girls that they are
then the other ones that were ah one piece. Oh Alan Thicke was hosting this motherfucker. Oh sure, of course he waas, oh shit, look at him! Look at that hair! Wonderful! Look at it!
jacket with seventy solve Miami vice doubt, yeah he's got shoulder pads yeah got it to get really shoulder pads back. Then you could have shoulder pads
yeah, I remember having shoulder pads in my first jacket. It's nice makes you look better yeah,
It isn't like a stuffed bra for a girl is yeah, it's the same thing yeah, but how weird that people? So do you remember
people actually dressing like that in in a class situation, do they go to classes dress like that at school we have uniforms and stuff. So now I see it, I never took an aerobics class
us but see if you could find video footage of an aerobics classes of all the guys address like that. Those dudes got punked yeah. Somebody talk to me
dressing like a dancer, yeah yeah
they're, not showing their kids, this video. Why not?
please use a stupid song. What if you're stupid once you're stupid for ever? It's not real come on now and your your kids love scene, you looking stupid test and you should tell him I had a mullet. They laugh one thing
I always do when I told my kids would do something wrong. They've done something wrong. I say I did worse way worse. I did exactly what you did
and I lied about it. I always lied. My parents asked me to do anything wrong, always lied and I'm like I know if you did so
no, you didn't do it, I'm not mad at you, I'm just trying to make you not do it in the future, because I want you to learn
it's bad yeah, that's good! That's good number! One thing I always do, and I get
Sometimes I mean it's just: there's is no way campus, sometimes, especially as they get older. They get upset about things in the guy. Who's got a calm down, get it like. You figure out how to calm down, stop screaming at each other. Sisters strangling each other, and you took my faint, that's fine, yeah, it's not you
gave it to me no, but I can take it back. It's get
when people get that hostile to each other.
You're worried it's going to be a physical fight sisters can take it two three times that level it makes you so uncomfortable, but then they'll cuddle up with each other and love it yeah. It's funny.
That's sweet is difference to you.
Yes, interesting watching them evolve like watching them, learn new facts and learn new things and and watched a little brain filled with information vocabulary starts growing yeah. They look while yeah you realize, like that. I mean I've said this before, but it bears repeating. We look at people in a static state.
We're, always looking at people like if I see a guy and he's forty years old and he's an asshole. Oh that's at forty year old Asshole that fucking guy. I know that guy that guys so annoying, but you don't think that was a baby. Does a baby with a bunch of shit
The data thrown Adam, a bunch of shitty interactions, bad gene,
it's bad environment, maybe
alcoholism, maybe maybe some throat in all of it right little ADHD back
Patricia and throw it all in there throw it all in there bunch of bad breaks in life, throw it on there. You know- and that happens to so many people, so you look at them in in
I I always like look at what they are now this guy, but what they are all
of them, including you and me, is a baby. That became a KN older thing. You know in a great deal of people whose lives air chaotically fucked up it's through no fault of their own. It's a great deal of it's a large number right, you know and as off gotten older and try to be more compassionate and more more understanding, more patient. Those are things that I worked on a lot and I still struggle with it but um it's. I don't think it's anything you ever really
Billy get over, but you get better. I've seen it in you a lot over the years here, a lot more patient yeah. I think a lot of that has to do with just getting better at being a person and then, when
work on it, but I think also a lot of it has to do with my the change of my attitude about people and that I started
of them as a product of a lot of different interactions, and that we, like you, hear the term white privilege, it's a fucked up term right, it's weird, but you have to admit if you're a person and nothing completely catastrophic
it happened to you and you became this fifty year old, successful comedian, it's an Emmy award, winning writer and like yeah bad things happen to you right, but they could have been fucking way. Worse
it could have been way worse and for some people it is fucking way worse.
They just got a roll of the dice from the jump and it's been bad experience after
bad experience and fucking abuse and
clients in jail, and you can't
now there's no way out. You can't even read secure for
turn around at sea trying to keep your head above water yeah, and
run into them when they're thirty, two at a gas station- and it's as much it's I mean it's not saying
it's not their fault, because whenever someone does anything to you, it's their fault. Like someone commits violence on you, the they should have done that it's their fault. We that's agreed. But what were the underlying factors that led this to happen? And for all this talk that we do in this country
about about violence and crime in the problem of violence and crime. Nobody ever looks at it
in terms of like how do you stop children from being raised, fucked up and violent? How do you stop them from being abused? How do you step in
you that 'cause that's the root of all of it right and I think early childhood education can make a big difference, because if you have a
kid growing up, and you know the dad took off
if there's no money's living on the streets, if you can cry
an environment for that four year old,
to come in and have
decent meals a nap time some structured play? It makes all the difference
well because that can become like the family to them. Now. Let me ask you this, because this is the word in the
biggest crisis in terms of immigration in terms of national discussion, the biggest discussion of then I can ever remember right now with this wall shit where the government is completely shut down
no one's budget on either side and all these government workers are not getting paid, and so because Trump wants five billion dollars for this wall. I'm not, let's just
in an ideal world. It would be ideal if the way the world worked was the way. America,
or you could just go wherever you want. The ideal world.
If the whole world was America in the sense of you can go to New Mexico, you don't have
Get paperwork signed, you don't have to know how to tell you whether or not you're allowed to go visit or
go visit. You just drive there
nice thing about America, it's almost like Europe, but you don't need a passport not in
like Europe. I know you guys been around longer and all that good stuff. Not
I mean I mean in terms of there's a bunch of different fields: yeah, it's all speaking one language, but there's a big difference between
visiting Montana and visiting Miami. You know if you go to Bill
is Montana and hang out with the local
look at a coffee shop, and then you go to some fucking crazy. After already after hours party in Miami on Miami Beach at four in the morning and
did. He shows up
you know and is all these celebrities and people were doing coke on the floor and like what the fuck is this? This is a different world.
Is a different world? Is a bunch of these different world New York City's it for World L A is a different world. You're allowed to go there? Wouldn't it be great if the whole world was like that
you just kind of go wherever you wanted to go, and it would,
all sort itself out, the idea is you can't because it would fuck up our quality of life would make us less safe and I get the argument,
Certainly you don't want to bring in criminals and murderers. You don't want drug dealers making their way into this country and starting gang violence, and all that stuff, yes, you're, absolutely right and to deny that I think it's pretty fucking foolish yeah
I think it's a matter of like there's a lot to it. It's a fluid. The border is always going to be fluid
and it needs to be fluid. You know we need the immigrant spirit of coming in and a lot of them do start
small businesses, when you know, and again when they're brought in legally um.
And so how do you? How do you
the flow of people? That is good for us 'cause. They say most of the immigrants that come here are
are the smartest sharpest people most driven in
over there from.
The drawing a really good. You know they talk so much about the criminals, but the truth.
Is most of them that are coming over. Here are the ones that
We have the most to offer to this country. Well, exactly like our
Aaron's generation, like our grandparents, like my grandpa
it's like. When did your grandparents come over here? It was at your grandparents or one thousand nine hundred and ten, my grandparents mine as well. The grand father was one of thirteen and twelve of them came up.
Here they lived in a two room, fucking mud hut. Somehow they
finding the money to send one kid over at a time like, usually when there about fifteen,
crazy shit, yeah see that kind of shit is what I'm talking about like those kind of people,
Should they be allowed to come here? That's that's how this thing got started. The real problem is that their spots that suck as the real problem,
we were talking about like white privilege, white privilege is not the problem. The problem is racism, race,
isn't doesn't exist, everyone everyone's exactly the same and then we're ok
and you don't need to worry about white privilege where the real problems you're not getting your not get
racist things thrown at you the way black people are yeah for sure, but that's not.
Problem. The problem is racist things being thrown a black people. It's not that I don't get it right, so you get it right. It's like it took to highlight the fact that it's not happening to me. If I get what you're saying, but the real
I think it's a distraction that the real problem is the racism itself. The real problem is the when you see actual nazis
two thousand and eighteen, two thousand and nineteen actual ones real ones like not now
just dressing up 'cause, they think it's a hoot. You know
rebel, I'm fucking hammered road. I got a piece of tape under my nose, this and fucking people that aren't really nazis, but they're dumb yeah right, but then you see a real nazi in twenty nineteen. That's real racism!
yeah that when they go into,
I was in Portland. They said: there's regular clashes like once a month, there's a demonstration and it's either the all right having a demonstration and then the what they call the something far and T for and to
if show up and they have regular fights and it's fucking Nazis. God, damn organs, a fucked up state.
Because it was originally there were no black people allowed in Oregon. That's the now,
Portland is, is very progressive. Superpro
super progressive. But there's no black people there. So it's you they're all rights. He feels a little hollow. They would hear that running shit. I just did New year's eve shows there, and they were they were. It was all white
it was all white. It was weird that is weird there. If I was black
go to Portland a second, you have so many friends. Instead
everybody wants to hide five. You have you over for dinner. It's yeah. The real problem for sure is any kind of discrimination 'cause that also fucks.
That's too 'cause! If people are discriminating against people, we can't even make fun of them. Now we have to leave Malone punching down like, but it's right there that's the best joke. I mean when you think about as a stand up what your topics are: race,
racism,
sexuality, politics.
The most people, don't sue, I would say the average car.
I guess talking about two topics: racism and sexuality. I think
You did a great job of covering politics without actually being political. You do a great job
Hillary Clinton bit
yeah. I
I did this thing during the election about her and I didn't mean it to knock her, but it really wasn't about knocking anybody
about her having a dry pussy and you know, that's the.
How to put a comedy you can expect from Maine. It was
so about countdown till Trump.
Calls, are a cunt
My favorite by it was my favorite line about the election. Did I did that I did the right kind of jokes about her and then drew Carey was in the audience and he came up to me after the show he gave me
entire piece of paper with more
jokes on that premise. He had tears in his eyes, like that's the funniest thing I've ever seen here. Take these. He loves filth.
Drew. Carey is one of the nicest guys, whoever yeah he's great. I met him at the improv and did he talks to everybody? He
is given young comics advice, telling him right a joke a day, just one joke a day. Yeah you get
enjoy your day, it's kind of course of a week. You got seven jokes, you make yourself write a joke, yeah right.
Look yesterday now I wrote some shit that wasn't funny
sweet, some yeah. We do you and I do the store together last night yeah. The last time I came home wrote yeah yeah, I'm just dumb. I
I have in this stage of a couple these bits and working on right now with the third just like their own bandy legs yeah to go south on me like this, a lose the script yeah off. It's some! It's interesting because
when you go from doing a special and then chuck and everything out and starting from scratch, it's the most fun time yeah, because you're like a
look, you're a beginner again you thinking about it all the time. I'd like after dinner. I've got a half hour, I'm like I want to get back to that
yeah yeah. You think that you're thinking about it all the time yeah
about bits bits all the time is once you have an act together and you could do you do it
we're twenty minutes. Easy. Then you're, not thinking about it! That much
thinking about. When you do it or you thinking about it when you're right, you're, not thinking about it all day now, you're tweaking
set in motion like when you're on stage and you've got the hour down
when we you- and I were talking about it to comedian- you just told to take a little extra time before they did a special yeah, and it really is, and that extra few months that you find it
emphasizing this syllable makes the joke get an applause break instead of just laughs. It's all
so one of the most interactive art forms ever where
You need other people to do it. You need
people to watch, there's no
hey. I can do that without you. Without people listening the watching whatever it is, I can't you can't do it. You need them because they help you make it there really
actions to what you're saying tightens up what you're saying right their reactions to make you
throw away certain parts, just aren't working right, yeah using it's funny. They don't think it's funny like how many times did they not think it's funny before you decide that part might not be that good. We can straighten this part. This part seems to have fruit to it. This part, this is the part of
hills. I didn't even expect this part to work, but this part and become a bigger part of the bit in the first part and then weird stuff started branching out, but I don't think branches off in front of people yeah,
it's weird. No, it really is interesting. If, ah, if you could track a comedian, writing a bit a good comic who really takes on a premise like you do like take on a thought or a philosophy and
step it out as far as it can possibly go and watch track that person
doing that set for six months, it can more
to where this almost nothing left from the original premise. All the time, yeah yeah some
I'll, take an old joke, and I use it as a scaffolding
like when I'm writing again and I've got no like. I'm trapped
I'm like no way to get from this bid to not blocked an old joke, mush of old joke in there, and then from that like the little
first that you get out that will carry you on and make the next premise better. It's got a little bit more Mo Mentum to it, and now you can explore it a little light headed a little light, hearted little little easier, less tense, because the new stuff
think about it. That fucks me up the most is that I'm not exactly sure. What's the best way to do it,
about what I'm saying it instead of
just being in the moment until I until you can just get it to the point where you can be in the moment, it's just close
yeah, because it's clunky, you're, nervous and because you're nervous you're thinking about it all the time yeah. So it becomes like this obsession. So if I feel like more premise,
start popping up that way. It's weird! It's like you have this hyper focus, that's way less comfortable than being.
Like having an hour and twenty down ready to film the way less comfortable.
But it's probably more productive in terms of like creatively
course, but I I was thinking like it's like learning a new language. Every time I have a new bit, it's like how do I translate this?
thought in my head into
Like you said, what's my approach? What's my strategy to get that idea, cross and so you're thinking about that, and it slows down your not in the moment as much, I think I'm going to start doing some real late night sets too that's a good idea, but you gotta do tired people
Oh right, thirteen people in the room you gotta, try those little spots out.
You can get a little too used to do and crowds and, if your little too used to and crowds
What happens? Is people want to laugh?
yeah. They want to laugh there dare to have a good time when you get it one
clock in the morning, they've already laughed they've laughed and laughed and laughed and they've laugh for our some of them. Some of them get there at nine and they stay till two
get up to pee in order another drink, have another seat and you're watching a crazy lineup of comedians. You get home at one hundred o'clock in the morning, like the
embarrass our that fuckin you're getting in front of people that have seen
everything. So if you make them, laugh that that's a legit bit yeah, if you
get through to these people when they've probably heard everything everything it gets
doing your voice more because when there's only fifteen people out there
versus three hundred couple hours earlier at three hundred your perform
something out to the back of the room. They talk about playing to the back of the room and bigger rooms. You have to be
more physical, you have to slow down and and then we have
fifteen people all of a sudden you're in your
men being talking to human beings voice, and sometimes that's where you can find really the flow
joke a lot better better because you're not you're, not pumping it up, you're, just saying yeah, I agree, but I think you have to
do those larger places to
to know how to do them. Like they're, a different thing. Yeah do a big theater, a big theater. You need to be comfortable with the fact that there's
x amount, thousands of people in that room and in the less you do a bunch of those like you and I've done a few of them together, yeah they're, fun, yeah
But you have a time. There's a timing thing. This difference. You have to like wait a little longer. You can't you can't
beat your punch lines are like one after the other, like you can in a club right in a club, you could just
you could keep hammering because there's only so many people in the room, it won't overpower the sound system and that
for so long comedy central. The mandate was always they want the special shot in a nice theater. Like a you know, one thousand five hundred
two thousand seater where they can get. That big is the crane
camera is shooting down and the truth.
Is for most, including myself, I'm not a theater comic, I'm club comics. So sudden I shoot. My special
have room that holds one thousand six hundred people and it was
Then I don't look back at it and go that's exactly how I wanted to be seen.
I was slower. I was project was bigger,
it's like. I would have rather done it in a like a nice
four hundred seat club. Also, you
doing, a lot of those places, so you weren't comfortable with it like those really big places. Once you get comfortable with it, you start treating it like a club like one of my most comfortable.
Sets was one of the biggest place ever did the Scotiabank Arena and in Toronto. At the end of my tour yeah, it is at the end of the tour, the very last spot before the Netflix Special came out. So I had I been, do
even stand up like real regular in these big giant ass places for months. So when I got there, it felt like the
or felt like doing the main room? It's just a bigger main room right. You know you just just a fun. Just have a good time, yeah
It's just doing a lot of those you got to do it, but you really do have to do the little tiny, shitty ones you got to do those one a dot m spots. You gotta do those belly room spots, yeah, that's a big one.
Rooms, a big one, that's right there. It is. If you are not connected to them, they do
Atlanta. And if you are connected, it's the greatest crowd.
The price is only what sixty people in there, something like that
I also like to an alternative room. Sometimes I go to Largo. How do you up there in front of the cool kids and you know, have to be
more pc, and you should have a fake act that you do only for Largo like put together, will actually, I did Largo with Whitney
a lot I like Largo Largo, just and Hardwick, was on the show to and someone else, maybe at Emory um, no Adam Devine and um and uh. It was a fun time and it's really fun. Largo's, ah, really interesting old place too, but all those those are all seen things like I would love. If somebody did they put an ad
together. That's only for like that crowd, but it's like just onion ask enough that sneaks through you know, yeah yeah right, just really like a guy who plays like the strong,
Ally possible for everything for
Trans rights, gay rights, black rights, women's rights. It's like the ultimate ally,
you're warm everything
can stop whatever we can do whatever you do to make my character and then
right really good, jokes right, really good jokes, like that, would be an
listing project almost like a Borat type project like creating all comic yeah who's like
who's really calculated who's? Really? Probably just trying to get pussy but but but puts together the right words,
if you don't support intersectionality then get the fuck out of my face. Yeah now like some
and then he should try to get laid after every show, as part of the characters be just super sleaze with coke and needles.
He's got shaky bottles of bills, can fix a pussy hat off his head and starts fucking it backstage.
Like for a pussy at: oh, my god,
hilarious character, yeah the thing about people is: who are you really and when you're
when you're talking to people do you know who you are
you sure you know who you are like you, one hundred percent certain
cool and calm. I don't think most of us are like
most of us are like constantly evolving the way we behave and think constantly thinking about it,
things went wrong. Last night I got stopped drinking, there's always like something yeah. I gotta get my ass to the gym. There's always something
always something you try and improve and move around,
So if you were a person who is where you don't know exactly comment,
But you want to sell that. You know where you're coming from you want
to believe you know where you're coming from, then you, then you get all this momenta, Mme behind you and you almost can't get away from it all right. You know like you're.
For your? Like you see this alot with people that are trying to be spiritual.
We always trying to sell you on the idea of their spiritual, always pushing this is me,
This is me, are you sure? Are you sure
I can't think who we are all of us is a lot of it is like who we've encountered and how we've interacted with those people
yeah and then the uniform comes along with it, and the diet. There's like a whole, follow this manual that you know we talk about, hipsters, which you know it's a pretty wide umbrella about
what kind of hipsters there are, but just the idea
of wearing a uniform, always kind of puts me off on people like you stopped you stop growing.
You gonna put on what all the
people that you want to be like a wearing yeah. This is the thing it's like
the opinions aren't necessarily wrong because they're your opinions, but the thing is
the thing of any kind of ideology, whether it's a hipster all ideology, or if it's a fucking, conservative right wing,
farmworker ideology. When people adopt those there's very little deviation
and a lot of times they're, not even really thinking entirely about what they're saying, but they just know what is going to get the right positive reaction from their clan
yeah, I feel bad, my mom who's. You know we grew up
liberal family in New York. My dad was in radio and he talked politics on the air and it was pretty far left
meaning that you know my mom worked at the New York Times. You can't get any more liberal in that, and so then she moved down to Florida. Where everybody watch is Fox NEWS in her building and they all sit around the pool and they
can berate her because they don't agree with them and I just say
good for you mom. You haven't because a lot of people go down there and there they change their views because they are so
intimidated by not fitting in with its your social group to different country Florida's Dick
yeah like American Europe saying American Europe. Yes, but this is you
Florida that a different country? It is, and it's it's two different countries, because if not three, because you've got the locals which I'd
them against Mississippi and Alabama for being deep s and then you've got the retire.
People which is old Jews from New York and then you
The latino element Florida. It's it's three different kinds: lot of old Italians from New York to oh yeah. That's right! All those people just said fuck this winter yeah we're getting out of here yeah. What do we know? Looking get in the boat in monster down as hard as your fucking aunt's cunt
can get some good italian food in Florida. Florida's got some good food, but yeah you're right. The upper part of it especially
that's like all that mean might as well be any other southern state right and then at the bottom. It's Cubans
and should in Miami Miami is just international name, is like an international city. It's like an international city. That's in America. That means that is so
friend in Seattle, like in terms
feel like the way you want
around everybody's, like fan and
close and party, and fucking dancing and music
cars like whoa, okay, space alive and it's alive, and it's gonna be under water, soon, yeah when they get a student, when the moon is in certain positions in Florida, it doesn't even matter with tight, is the suck, and if there is a high
tied,
in no storm, they stay
old street still flood
in Miami. It's getting bad
re only if well, here's what got to do
going to dig under the city and then lift it up. Yeah, that's right
go all the way under Elon Musk,
that tunnel machine thing and we're going to put some jive
metal bars and just jack it up to chick chick chick chick, chick
you got the Italians down there, they do construction, but would
they do in New Orleans deal where they put up a levy, and so they
need to do Jesus Christ. I think the problem with that, though, what I read was that there's something
the poorest nature of the soil, in my
that the water going to come to the ground. Yeah the ground under the cities of South Florida's, largely clear, is largely poorest, live James on the ball, largely
first limestone, which means water will eventually rise up through it, so they're fucked, they're fuck, no matter what, even when the levee there fucked that water is get through the ground right up. You know how, like
on the beach and you could dig a hole in the sand and eventually hit water
yeah? I know I know
is water under here how much water? I remember. My kid was sitting in one of those holes and I'm like you're gonna get fucking sucked underground yeah. I don't like it. I didn't like it. Yeah
I was listening to a radio lab podcast on Quicksand, was
cool podcast because it made me think I went oh yeah. Nobody worries about quicks
anymore, is that a real thing with kids, dude yeah yeah quicksand is a real thing: yeah yeah, it's a real thing. You can fall into this soupy watery sandy shit and, if you don't
to swim out of it, you try to walk out of it. You could drown yeah, you could die in there. People have
definitely died and you might not even get out if you try to swim out, but that's how you handle it,
handle it the same way you handle water and if you try
walking through it, yeah like people just get sucked into the murk.
If you have to think about it this, like a certain amount of
city to what you need to stand on right. That's why mud it's not hard to use! You just go in there and you can get really stuck right. Well, if it's,
more watery than that, then what happens,
and you can't even stand, then you
people just
wow yeah. You gotta swim yeah. If you can
cause, there's all this weight on. You too. You have to realize that that stuff's dense, so it's water
but it's also heavy and your clothes are covered in it yeah, so your clothes become really heavy, and so
we can save you, because if they get close, they're gonna fall in yes, yeah the. If, if they, you know, if you're gonna drag them down man, they it's hard to swim at some.
You know that as well as anybody, you save somebody yeah
Costa Rica, and we were down at this.
This water is the biggest waterfall I've ever seen. It was like hundreds of feet high and it
and in this lagoon this round lagoon and the water they told you don't go near the water, and so there
these japanese girl sitting on the edge they get their feet in and then one of them like jumps in and the water
sucks her down immediately, and I
I have lifeguarding a life from when I was stoned in sixteen and so
I dove into the water- and I grabbed her and luckily
checking them out, because there were these beautiful, japanese. I had my eyes on them, and so I dive in- and I grabbed I her and I pulled into the sea.
Yes, I do the cross arm carry and I pull our polar out and you know what she did just turned turned to a friend.
They all I can sell their. Nobody said. Thank you. I saved her life so anyway wow. So
It was these kids and wherever you are japanese lady, how rude
how about a little japanese? Japanese. I think she was
japanese. No, no! They were japanese, japanese. She probably thought
a lifeguard yeah. I thought that's what happened and then
and then I left and I'm with my family and
they didn't see it happen. So I was so
fucking bum bomb. Then we get to the parking lot and
bus busload of kids from some school and the
the whole thing and they started Chan,
hero to may I said to my kids: do you fucking see what's happening right now?
That's that's gonna be a great feeling, even if they didn't say thank you. You saved him like it's. What I do it's my job. Superhero
you ever save anybody's life. No, I don't think so, not not directly. Maybe you did this podcast. Probably
I bet this people that have been suicidal. That heard this and cheer them up. I bet it ruin a few people to, let's be honest,
you should do you. I do don't listen to me. I'm a fucking idiot
Are you listening to me?
because if people say I changed their life like okay, if I accept it on the positive that I have to accept it on the negative two, that's right! No, no! You did it. You did the whole thing yeah, you might have
I said some shit that you enjoyed. I'm very happy for that and I talked to some
Well, that brought you some great information, I'm very happy for that too. We're all in this together, I'm not saving any, but
yeah. You save yourself. Okay, don't listen to me! Yeah call,
hotline, don't listen to me, don't take yoga, don't even do it don't take it. Don't! Listen to me, I know what the fuck I'm talking about. Don't pick up archery. What the fuck do you want to do you wanna shoot arrows at things can't fucking eat carbs need some fucking carbs. Don't do jujitsu are going to hurt you wanna get hurt.
And we try to choke people for stop it. Don't listen to me. Yeah! Don't eat Elk, go get up burger between an actual american ham.
Don't eat mushrooms. That he's going to close your mind off break your head, they're going to break your head
You go crazy like that, guy from pink Floyd. What, if you go crazy?
What if you never come back if you get enters, that somatic is a judo, but the thing is what, if you do
like for sure, some people have smoked too much pot and Bellona fucking, Gasket yeah, let's be honest, right-
it has to happen. They say that actually they're finding my wife just told me this. Yesterday she read this article about people with schizophrenia.
Are getting older and they're smoking pot more because it's legal and they're finding people
they're coming in with schizophrenic episodes from smoking too much pot
were schizophrenic already or became schizophrenic from the pot, not sure I think when
you, especially when you get too high, it feels exactly like being crazy yeah and I think
when there's been moments for sure that I smoke too much pot and I freaked the fuck out and when that happens.
It it almost always feels like wow. If I had a live life like this, and it's one of things that I tried to take any consideration when I won't think about people having something wrong with the way that brain processes, information or the way they talk
is like think about how you feel when you're on,
like a two hundred milligram edible,
This is just too much. Everything is anxiety and the freak out in life and death and all of your memory
pouring back into your head, like a waterfall and you can't collect in some circles there spinning plates and all you want is for it to end Levanta lie down here down here. When you take a shower, it helps you get in the shower. You still freaked out. If that was your whole life, you gotta think
what is what's your state of consciousness versus another persons? You have to guess. I don't I've, never
In your mind, I don't know how your mind works: have to guess that you're mom
is some reasonable. It's got
something like the way my mind works. The way you look at life and we talk about so many things. We agree on
things I got to think. You're processing is very similar to mine, but there's gonna be people out there, where it's chaos,
where it's just like you with a two hundred milligram edible you just like fuck all day, is just like what
who's who's doing that, you know people do this. People watching the man from that is building near us and his people watching me like, and they can,
escape can escape the there to trapped in this is
constant snowball effect of anxiety and chaos, and- and you got to wonder like what, how much of the
brain chemistry, how much those brain chemistry that's been adjusted by nature and by
life experiences and abuse and all these different factors that happen to people that make them. You know, lose their grip all right
yeah I mean you see them on the street and you just you know, there's a woman that is near my house, she's at a bus. Stop and she's been at this bus. Stop for
three years and I have never and I passed her two or three times a day and
check I'm kind of obsessed with
checking on her. Every time I drive by and
she's never not been in that bus, stop, sitting down
she's either reading or just under a blank
she's chain smokes. I don't know where she gets. The cigarettes. She's got a cell phone, don't know how she charges it, but I guess she goes to the
bathroom at the gas station, maybe
people give her money and she doesn't beg, doesn't engage. Just sits at this, and itself is she's
front of a gas station and a busy road. It's it's a.
Were spot to sit pouring rain she's out there
Cold winter she's out there, it's crazy wow. Does the bus stop? Have a cover yeah, but not not like a
sides. They are not there, so I'm driving rain, it's you know, so she just fuck, yeah
you're talking to herself a little bit and you just think Jesus Christ, and so I look.
Up line. I researched her and it turns out she's from Venice,
it's a Venice high and she's got
but she's got parents in the neighborhood and they know she's there. They can't get her to leave, so she
workers come by and they
just realize she's happy there. You know not happy, but she's safe there, something about that
maybe because it's like the busiest spot round and makes her feel safe. Yeah. Imagine that you could, I know yeah Maggie kid blows a gasket and you gotta let go.
Certain point fuck. You can't make them take their medication after the age of eighteen and for some reason, a lot of schizophrenics, don't like
in their medication, because the way it makes them feel goddamnit. What are the other options.
Mining lithium is the main drug and then there's a couple other ones that work is there any behavior
therapy or physical therapy is definitely yeah. I think it's about replacing thoughts. It's cognitive,
Avril therapy they have to when they start thinking something they have to replace it with another thought
I have to train in that until they can stop the the voices but it, but I think it's mostly medication yeah, it's. I think we have a
aversion to treating the brain say when we treat other things that get broken yeah like uh. You know, if you, you have something wrong with your liver. They go. Oh you've got liver disease. What we're going to give you medication for the liver, there's something wrong with your
you sure you sure the what's wrong right like what's wrong
really not producing enough chemicals. Is that it or is it
just the way you look at things now
look at it as a weakness. Yeah. That's so weird thing:
because sometimes it is sometimes people are weak, but sometimes that's not. It sometimes is something wrong.
Yeah, and so, if you're a person, who's got something wrong and people are telling you just weak. No, no, no, this is fucked up like this is this. This is a terrible feeling that this is every day for me all day. Yeah there's just something wrong going on in there like it has to be that there's variables too, the way your brain works,
just like there's variables to the way your eyes function or any other part of your body is very just it's not equal,
Everybody doesn't get the same dose right I mean depression is something that it's funny,
I think I've asked you and you don't have depression and my my my buddy MIKE Givens he's my best friend and we connect, like
you and on everything, but I have so much
and depression that I
I deal with it every day. You know when I can't
have to meditate. I gotta exercise. I I'm you know, Medicaid
do you well, while you're injured right now, you can't work out right right in the
affect you when you help you yeah I've been a rut with not exercising when you
You exercise a lot. Does it alleviate your symptoms and feel very much really yeah yeah?
I'm doing this thing now. I think you Neal Brennan, recommended it.
The magnet thing yeah TMS transcranial magnetic stimulation, they said was amazing. I've done it for ten weeks every single day really yeah. I just did it this morning. Do you do it to yourself
so you go in first to get an mri and they map out your brain and the whole theory behind it is that
They can use magnetic stimulation to sort of like waking up one of the
in your brain, that's associated with depression and
you go in and first they map out your brain and then you go in and for like one slash two hour
or they just pulse this magnetic thing onto your head. It's
like I was very low grade m r. I almost.
And I've had amazing results and it lasts forever
you go through this cycle of it and then he's Neil's had the same experience. That's crazy
highly right. Has it forever, but they say
people have to come in and you know get it get a tune up, but generally it's a one time come
is a woman named cat, Zingano she's, one of the UFC's top bantam weights and she fought UFC
Amanda Nunez back in the day and actually beat her before she won the title. But in that fight she got hurt real bad and I talked about it on the podcast that she developed a bunch of brain issues after that fight, because
her quarters all levels are all fucked up unless you're all fucked up she developed thyroid problem. She had hit
that so hard she's as well yeah. She couldn't keep weight off, trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with her and one of the things that helped her the best she talked about it really openly an in depth on the podcast one of things that help with the best was they have this. I think it's a different kind of magnetic therapy-
this one because I think this is only don't. The center only exists around San, Diego and a lot of military guys come back and use it. Football players, people with head injury
and someone recommended it to her and it helped her tremendous yeah, really brought it back.
Yeah there's some real breakthroughs going on, because you know people
and they you know they still use like electric shock therapy, and you know with with
good results, but a lot of side effects. Did you
hit in the head a lot when you were a kid sometimes,
but it was there any like moments when you get knocked.
No, I don't think I ever got knocked out. Did you ever get hit with a bat or I played hockey, so eight people to check people a lot not get down to get really hurt doing that
nah? Never that my neck, my neck is still fucked up to this day. From from a check ahead, check that I made but now know
guy, I ever had any concussions. My friend mark
my mind. Right sorry, my mind runs in the family. My mom, my dad's got it it's it's it's,
genetic depression. No, I'm sure it is, but I think it's accentuated by trauma yeah and that's why I was asking you because
even though you probably I mean I know you played a lot of hockey. Anybody probably don't think about it
every time you collide even falling down slamming into that sure. Let yeah there's a lot of that. All that stuff rattles, your brain yeah, believe it or not. People get concussions from getting hit in the chest, sometimes really yeah, here's cats in Ghana. It says it
E g in vitals, for my r m t of streets, FDA approved to treat Migraines depression, improves anxiety, PTSD Tbi, sleep, ADHD X, at Cetera now accepting insurance and try Kerr mindset. Rancho Bernardo check them out.
And this is you- can find this on cats, CAT God, twitter page she's got a picture of her with this apple
it on her head, but I know it helped her
I've heard of EJ it's it's really effective. It helped her a lot yep. You know she could talk about what sparring was like
before and afterwards she asked your coordination was off. She was that's one of things that
the people when they get brain damage, if they get knocked out or in a bad concussions, is your your system's. Not firing correctly. So you'll see
your body's not moving right, so it almost resets reset
the hard drive damaged, yeah damaged right now the signals aren't getting to the muscles correctly. Let's soak, you see one of things that you
see an older boxers when they've taken too many horrible fights and really starting to lose it is their steps. Look show
order. Legs look closer together. They have, they are they're having a harder time moving. They don't have the confidence to have the balance.
Around and they're their their systems. Short circuiting yeah. You know when you're seeing it in their coordination,
weird thing to see too I've seen it in fighters. Where am
for them in their prime, and then I see them now. I'm like whoa this to us.
Possibilities that could be an injury that could be dealing with an injury, but if you find out there's no injury in like this is not good. Now, just look at
Roethlisberger out there in the pocket when he flew, he tries to run it like little steps
no movement in the shoulders and that guy used to be fast back there, but he's gotten hit a lot just no getting
from it now yeah. It is what
yeah you know, if you had a year been knocked out, yeah yeah not unconscious. I got stopped and kick boxing match. I got hit with a big left hook. Poem my legs went out from under me. It's crazy! What did even hurt. It was like a day.
Because you're full of adrenaline, so we don't feel it in terms of like ouchy. It's not like ouchy her, but it's like it wasn't like a painful thing. It was like being
and then my legs stop working like whoa. What the fuck that was the hardest. I've ever been hit. 'cause, it's just on the button. It was a perfect
I zigged when I should have said I was exhausted already. This is my third fight of the day on Kickboxing tournament and just crank and my legs,
whoopsies you're, pretty lucky with fighting you did that you never got knocked out super lucky, but I definitely got hit in the head. A bunch
Even though I didn't get knocked out. There's a law
sparring, there's a lot of them punch in the face. There's a lot of getting kicked in the head.
Less, kicked in the head, believe it or not. 'cause I was terrified. I was always moving fast, so you wear a helmet,
now we wear these things, the first or
It's we used to wear these things on the back of the head and
That was so when you get knocked out, your fucking head doesn't bounce too hard off the ground. I'm not bullshitting! You pick one spot. There's a video of me fighting with one of those on it's a video of me on you tube. That's I've got this spot in the back of my head. That looks like a like a bald spot like I would have. If I
had her now, but it's like a yamaka yeah. It's a red plastic thing, it's hard to tell because it's a shitty video, but that red plastic thing was basically like a sponge.
Anything that these to use in taekwondo terms with was first
there's no padding and then
eventually they made people start wearing these helmets and they basically, these cushnie helmets that go over the top of the head and
strap trap amount and see how that guys wearing it. The white guy
You see the guy in the background or the right side. That's wearing the white thing, that's the standard, one! What I'm wearing just a pat on the back of my head. I see that there's like a red thing in the back of my head. That's a case. I got K. Oed
'cause we're fighting on a fucking. This is a basketball court is wood floor,
your protection does mean '
sing that guy out
this is me. When I'm nineteen
yeah. So this was where we fought all the time we always fought on hardwood floors. One time I thought crazy way: crazier from this ready for this, the Bay State Games,
on the Bay State Games, we fought on a tarp that was laid out over a cement floor, yeah and uh
knocked the guy out in his head bounced off the cement. Oh, my god kick this dude in the head and his head.
Bounced off. Some l never forget that sound. So I was
nineteen I didn't know what the fuck to do. This is where the tournament was is. Ok is ok, we're going to do this. We're going to fight here that was today,
Like? Are you guys out of your fucking mind? I would. I would be
dreaming if I went with my kid and he was supposed to fight in the tournament and I got there and it was a thin plastic.
Carp stretch out over smooth concrete floor like what the fuck are you talking about. Are you crazy? Like you need pads, you need people to make
Don't go out of bounds, just tarp laid down over concrete wow. He was so so dangerous, so I definitely got my noggin rattled yeah a gang of times yeah. I don't know how many times
I said, do gymnastics for like six years certain when I was like six but backflip, oh yeah, I could do to double back.
No well. I did I trained for like six years or away how do I yeah so I used to do to yeah. I could do round off back handspring into a double back. You still do that. I can. I haven't tried.
Angle back in awhile, but I could use. I can be standing back flips until a few years ago, wow yeah all yeah, no right. What do that's
so I so I always wanted to learn how to do that. I did I over rotated a flip one time and I fucking slam my head in a match back then, when you see floor exercise today, it's not
even the same sport, it's all
springboard with like two inches of padding when we did it
who is those fucking rubber? You know half inch thick mats that you roll
not in the corners come popping up. That's what we used to do it yeah. Yes, you are,
and twisting your ankle all the time landing on that shit. How bad you fuck your head up when you landed? It was bad,
My injuries were my ankles, though I used to fuck up my and then you know you can't. Then you can't do anything for a little while so with the reason why I keep asking about head trauma is cause. My friend Mark Gordon uh he's an expert in traumatic brain injury is an endocrinologist and he studies a lot of soldiers and has written a bunch of paper
soldiers, former football players fighters he's worked with a bunch of people that have had brain injuries and his can
like, and a lot of them that were suicidal autumn they're, severely depressed and his conclusion
and is that for a lot of them, what happened was damaged the Patua Terry Gland that stopped them from producing hormones correctly, and it leads to severe lack of enerji depression and it's almost always correlated with head trauma and oftentimes head trauma that people forgot about. They didn't think it
big of a deal yeah is it, but it could be literally wiping out on a jet ski I'm slamming into the water and then yeah and then you're up for years, and you don't know why skiing for shore falling down hitting your head snowboarding is really common. Yeah I've never snowboarding, but apparently, when this the board kicks up. If you go up in the air and the
oh yeah, that's how people get got well and you
gotta wear a helmet and a lot of kids. Don't yeah I've heard of kids. Getting
hell yeah, but so all
those things contribute to the your brain is super delicate. You know it's really
complicated machinery. It's like when you drop your Iphone, maybe drop it once
drop, your Iphone to three times today. Hey, hey, hey, put a fucking case on that thing
I mean they do these drop tests right. They do drop test where they drop it over concrete and see how good it is. Your head is similar in that
you can get away with getting racked in the head. But I was in Hawaii recently and I drop my phone, the the last time. You know that you drop your phone
Now it's getting a little wonky and they drop it. The last time and it's just gone- it's gone's Ville. It was just calling people,
I would. I was really yeah. I was showing ESO what I was. I had the phone open and I was like watch watch it's on the context like it's just gonna start calling people. I just tried calling people and I'd hang up.
They would just call somebody else hang up and we just call sales. It was just falling apart.
Wouldn't let me log in anymore, like it wasn't it wasn't sensing my fingers touching the screen to put in the key code, which is shit all backed up yeah yeah. It was all backed up
but God damn it, God, damn it yep.
I smashed my screen, I didn't I didn't give a fuck your heads like that. That's my point. Your heads like that, like
I didn't get that one last drop, maybe
only all right yeah, I would keep that phone today.
Look to the new phones. When I don't that it's basically with the same phone right smack
in this book now about speaking of changing your brain
and it's called
Change your mind. Michael Pollan, yeah yeah he's been on the pod.
Oh no shit! Yeah! It's great episode. Did he talk about his new book about the it's basically about psychedelics and
lsd and mushrooms, in particular traces, the whole fucking history of it. I had no idea how much research was done back in the fifties and sixties. I mean they had conclusive studies that were showing with alcoholism, people
Seventy percent of people that underwent these treatments with psychedelics got sober depression,
cigarettes, cigarettes,
It's amazing all that just got thrown away, corrupt, just kept that information away from corrupt
The studies that Nixon funded, like Nixon, funded a bunch of studies that showed positive benefits of marijuana. How is that right
makes it administration just fucking candle,
get outta here with this shit not releasing this. The other thing he mentions is that it got squashed by shrink
because they had a vested interest in people not going into the woods for a weekend and coming back without their depression.
So yeah so thing, so they disqualify all the studies- oh fuck yeah,
Psychiatrists were like horrified that the
These kind of results were coming back. Do you was it that for sure or was it? People have never taken psychedelics horrified that people were out there experimenting with their
Just as I think, a lot of these psychiatrists are probably really straight laced guys and so
in their mind, especially in the shadows of reefer
sadness and all the propaganda they had heard in the thirties and forties, and when you look at those people
and they're out there in the fucking desert,
we're going dancing around taking mushrooms under the moonlight like they're blowing their brains out here you gotta stop. This is their straight lace.
People who never done psychedelics. They might not be in codes.
It might more likely be a bunch of people to think it's. A fucking
terrible idea to let people run around taking acid. Well, there was just some of the medical journals came out with with pieces, saying that none of these studies are valid because there wasn't. I forget what it is about. Studies
They have to be consistent, but the uh
thing is, it was political and you had Timothy Leary
who was you know the war?
thing to happen to this kind of testing, because he was saying was it dropped
drop out in turn on drop drop out and that whole
idea? They said you know where people taking LSD, you're, not going to fight your wars, and so that became a threat.
To the status quo and that's when the
started to come out?
It's interesting, because he also got a lot of people to get excited about it right, yeah, but he got. He
took it away from it being a a medical.
Process, and he made it about you know
Ointment, but in a kind of fluffy spiritual way. Well, he made it
big movement right, I think you thought that he was probably gonna change the world that movement yeah. That movement did definitely had a big impact.
All those people that took acid like think about. If you really stop and think about
and you really look at the fact that Apple Steve Jobs said that taking ass,
it was like one of the greatest things ever happened, yeah that was famously talked about. It.
And who knows what it? What an impact that had on him deciding to
start apple and what what an impact apple has had in the technology world.
Talks about it in the book, he draws a straight line from people starting to take all this stuff because it was happening in
Look Valley Valley. This whole psychedelic movement was like right in that area and he says that it you know bill bill gates, apparently took it once.
But that all those guys were coming in and they were. You know there were these p
that would lead
was a guy named Hubbard was a is named
also, but it was a of Hubbard who was really like. You know a corporate ver
Jenna of LSD. He was going to companies and he was taking
The ceos of companies and taking them in for these three day drop acid experiences. Wow
Corporate acid well they're kind of doing that at burning man
How is that right? Some corporations go to. I mean not a lot, but there's some cool companies go to burning man. You know, what's this Alfred Matthew,
he's an early proponent of the drug lsd. During the nineteen fifties. He is reputed to be the Johnny Appleseed of LSD and the first person to
size led ed, LSD's potential as a visionary or transcendental drug.
But this guy had a fucking life, somebody's got to do a movie about his life. He he was like working for the
since he was a double agent. He was while he was dropping acid. He was, he started with nothing. No, I think, before
before, during and after he had like eight different careers, and he was like a spy and bought it.
Start with nothing and ended up with, like a bunch of airplanes that he was leasing out, became a millionaire and then spent it all trying to educate.
People on LSD. He was worth like tens of
millions of dollars and he ended up broke at the end. Yeah offer the l
He believed in it so strongly. That said it
going to change the world and it would have it
still now there's now it's
I'm back well, there was a little hick up for several generations at a pass for people start understanding that there's there's there's a risk to everything, there's a risk to a sports there's a risk to every
Fucking thing you do driving your car are risk, there's a risk of psychedelics, but there's all
to reward, and I think, if you're going to be on
do you have to look at both of them. You have to look at the potential risk. You have to look at the reward and
we're not looking at the reward to try this too many people out there that
trying to deny the reward- and you got to find out why and in
day age. It might be a conspiracy, it might be some
pharmaceutical industry that doesn't want to be legal because it would undermine their profits, it might
it might be some law enforcement unions that think it's a bad idea to make less things. Illegal will take
prisons yeah I'll take people away. You know terms of the amount of people, people the need for the job it'll. You know, which I think that's another story, but when you you know what people look at that kind
stuff- and you look at, but the the underlying sort of patterns that we follow in this country. You know the patterns it with a are you happy or not happy with the way things go, the way things are run in what sense, just in any sense in all of it. I
trust that we do have the best system out there and we challenge it every day, and I still think that we live in a
case where the ten
of our society are in place for sure they swing one way or the other, but I still be
even democracy and I
think the internet, as an
overall thing, has been positive for people
getting their voices out and for for information
yeah being distributed, but the the idea that we're
face with that. In this day and age, there's grown adults telling other grown adults what they can and can't put in their body yeah and then not being honest about the benefit.
Right, that's where it gets squirrely, that's where the whole thing falls apart, like you're, just a guy
like if you- and I are the only two people on the planet and
came out: I'm not gonna! Let you take that acid. Why? Well, because it's illegal look! I wrote it down. Can I take the acid
I would be preposterous, but somehow or another it works when there's a million people that a person could tell you Know-
if you're a fucking grown adult? You can't tell me what I can take that stupid yeah. If, if you can,
prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that what I'm gonna take is gonna with you. If you can't prove that and stop here, look at some
does something have take something and doesn't they take PCP and they've run face first through a fucking seven eleven window, that's on them
their actions. It doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to try PCP, and I don't think you should try PCP. I think when enough enough people,
smash through windows and go crazy. Go hey! Maybe that's a drug. I should fucking annoying, but that's
you find out about that yeah you, like grown adults,
make their own decisions and
if you're the one who's making the decisions for all the grown adults. You better have some real fucking logic to what you're saying it turns out. There
and this is the same society that allows the pharmaceuticals to paddle opiates to people for the last thirty years, saying that it was the greatest thing you could do exactly. I think it's good that they make money because they make medicine that helps a lot of people they're, not all bad.
I think in general, pharmaceuticals have helped people
in tremendous ways, but you can't deny
but if there's some way shape or form that people are influencing other people having access to beneficial things, because it would impact their profit line, that's that's evil! Yeah, that's evil! You have all
lot of fucking money. If you really going out of your way to hire lobbyists to make sure that mushrooms don't get on the table come on man
yeah, you are you're a fucking real problem, that's a real problem,
Yin and Yang. This is this is the
opposing forces. There were battling to try to get total complete, free,
some of your consciousness? These are the
sing forces, their ignorance, like the psychiatrists,
guarantee the psychiatrist were worried about correlations between psychotic
episodes and psychedelic drug use and they're worried about people falling
apart in there right, the right so
that wanted to get it illegal to right. It's like working on backflips.
There's a fucking thing pad under you yeah, you could fall in your head. You're right and we say: don't do gymnastics. People fall their head
one out of ten falls on their head you're not doing Jimmy, not falling on your fucking head right is the same thing, the same thing so people
worried about it, that don't really have experience in it again. Re t you most, those psychiatrists just didn't, have experience in it or were super cautious folks, because if they did have experience with it, maybe try a little mushroom dose and they were like wow
This is amazing, right and also controlling you know.
Set and setting they keep talking about. You know and realizing that the the you know occurrence of
Psychotic episode is so much lower when
You know when you're, when it's being dispensed the right way, yeah, so much lower, ever been led through
by somebody that when you did Wasco was there like in Guy Wasco, just him Aubrey
RB, acted as a like he caught Sunal, except the setting in a way. Where was you know, I would also like spiritual like not dot Riddick,
not over the top, but just announcing your intentions,
we're going into this we're going in this we're gonna. Let go we're gonna to give thanks.
All all the spirits around. Isn't all the energy around us just go into this with a good intention give be grateful, be ah go into it with gratitude and then the way it hits you it hits you like
like a infinite cyclone of geometric patterns in impossible, colors, just blasting in your brain instantaneously. You
going into it with the intention of letting go is probably one of the best piece of advice you could give people to. Ah, avoid a freak out all right go with it. Let it go just let yourself go and it's what is trying to do is your ego is tryingto
so with this grizzly bear this enormous short faced. Bear on steroids is trying to
egos trying to wrestle with is impossible to resist force and that's what leads to a lot of people freaking out
Oiga. Losing your ego is the ultimate goal of it. I don't think anybody ever really loses there. You my
thank you. You keep it in check. You lose some of it. You keep some of it because that's part of your survival mechanism that the real problem is like having a healthy ego, you know, like
give your wife looks good she's, looking at herself in the marriage. Like I look, you look fucking great. I do look good like she feels good. It feels every that's ego,
you want to know you you, you look good, but it's not a bad ego. It's fun, you know I'm yeah. The real problem is when it gets out of control and toxic, then it will take other people. Seeing like you, you know you see gross.
The disk, a gross behave, your gross selfishness. You see that and you you that's the bad part of the ego, that's what I'm seein yeah, but the key is to know which is which and that's hard it's hard in a way
which is which, which one is the overwhelming force inside your mind, which one is the
one, that's controlling your consciousness in your behavior and which is the good one, the bad one. Is it the fun healthy one
is it the one that is, you know, got completely obsessed with yourself and only yourself yeah, you don't know until you have these experiences and then the the the nature of them gets exposed like takes him to
on to the roots? And you start thinking about. Where did all this come from like? Where is all what's the source of all this? Like? Oh there's a validation issue. There's a this issue, there's a trust issue. There's
whatever the fuck. It is. It's swirling out of that in this ah unnatural form, to create the negative behavior that you are are manifesting in your life like,
All of it comes from something and one of the things about psychedelic experiences. Is it shut it like it shuts the ego off for a second
but you stand outside of and go look with the things doing here. Look at this things, things groups only it doesn't work. You know, here's here's a perfect example ego that doesn't work name.
Dropping like if you're hanging out with someone Sean Penn? Was you my house last night, man, my house last? No, you
you know what Jeremy Piven was just telling me about that last week: name dropping
why that name you just but like it doesn't really
Yrc. Yet everybody knows your name drop in and out again when I'm Steven Spielberg in our Pre Thailand yeah. But it's one thing like if you told-
You went over Sean Penn's house, I'd like what's he like,
then it wouldn't be name dropping
you did it. It wouldn't be name dropping like if you told me like I was hanging out with with Sean Penn I'd like oh, how weird, because it's too big
meaning of a story, I'm not going to. Let that let that hang is fall
yeah. That's not your whole thing. Yeah right!
The comedy is like named
been with stories. Good stories
with it, but you know there are comedians that are really like guileless about just
bringing a name in or bringing up a project. They worked on and you look back at the joke. Can you go could have told
joke without telling me that a Frank Sinatra was in the audience that night, yes, exactly yeah
and I remember Anthony Clark used to do that when he was coming up
Austin? He was the guy. He was the guy, the young
hot guy in Boston, dude and I mean
That dude, you put his name on the marquee and he was fucking one year out of college and he was this cute guy with a southern accent and the baseball cap on and he was silly and he would fill up a fucking room and he would just
started to get some success and it
he's, found his way in his act. He would talk about yeah. You know I was
king to this actor. When I was doing Chicago on Broadway and no not Chicago what would he do Oklahoma? He did Oklahoma on Broadway when he was like twenty four years old
and, and you know, and then he just started him. He got in with that with the river
Nixon, he did like three River Phoenix movies and he was fucking good.
And then somehow he
into the tv root and didn't follow the filmer, but he's he's a good actor.
Yeah, I remember he had Boston common number
common and that didn't go.
For a little while, but it got canceled and it was a show that was all his right and then he went to do yes dear.
They did yes dear for a long time. No, but then he,
Dan Aykroyd did where Dan Ackroyd was a priest, and maybe they were both priests really yeah. That might have been asked, because because
Yes. Yes, dear, was on good
in eight years, easily forever yeah yeah
oh man, soul, man, huh, so that dude and his his quote per episode was very high from the get go.
And he just kept buying real estate
What he does now right
I haven't I haven't talked in awhile. Thank think heard. He sells rules. Do it now. Yeah
who is Anthony. He was a murderer back in Boston at to see him at Faneuil Hall and fill that fucking place, yeah
the comedy connection when they moved when blooming right took over and they moved to the big room and they moved out that little tiny room and put it in Faneuil Hall. I will
walking through there one day and Anthony Clark was murdered or in- and I was like
this is ninety percent women, so
yeah. I was that right, so women yeah
SAM Guys- love them too. Don't get me wrong, but women really
but he was so cute. You know
say that's the secret to being a draw is appeal to women because they're the ones that decide what to do at night. Yes, yeah right.
Like there's not a whole lot of chicks begging to go to Slayer,
right and if they are take him, that's that's a good one yeah they want to go see someone cute. I bet this
like probably a disproportionate number of chicks going to see Aquaman.
But if you, if you look, if you looked at the number
of women that want to go, see a superhero movie and
the number of women that want to go, see Aquaman yeah, it's off the
right and favor, someone should do study. That's a handsome man will use his name Jason Momoa. He was badass,
thrones he's a beast to super nice guy.
I met a guy in the whole foods in a whole sort of
sweetheart is like you're, so handsome it's confusing so tall and beautiful.
Weird feelings. Right like that guy yeah, yeah
My wife said it best. She said he's everybody's type,
she's, like you know some girls Brad Pitts their type. You know
some girls, it's you know, fill in the blank yeah.
So this and look at that he's everybody's type type and he's a giant and he's got awesome.
It is a fucking nice guy fucking are those his real tattoos. I don't believe so. I think that's just for Aquaman. That's his tattoos for Aquaman. What real tattoos he's got a gang of real tattoos, the
the forearm ones, I think is- is real tattoos yeah
That takes some time and makeup, because, if he's doing a role where they don't want that, that's a lot of time
covering that shit up everyday? I don't think they have to cover up shit with him. Yeah is that that beautiful face get on screen
that all dampened panties do the talking whoa see again tomorrow, ma'am yeah girls are going to that movie.
It's like a it's like a porn theater in Times square in the seventies, for women's, probably click in their hands than moisture in the air and yourself off
this little heaters?
you're walking, watch cheaters your feet are stuck on the floor. You think it's the popcorn butter, no nope nope.
Yeah um. How do we get on subject to him
man grants. Any Clark are yeah girls deciding what to go. Yeah right, yeah girls would be their bill like yeah, it's because the album at the black women, so you hate superhero movies. Whatever you want to go yes
she wants to stare a Jason Momoa right. He is pretty beautiful, be watching on screen tablet. Yeah shit can't
you think some women watch MMA. For that reason, I think some guys are cute yeah fuck yeah. Not only
cute, but savages right, I mean
number of women with sketchy,
all goods that are attracted M M, a fighters coming off the chart? I want to say that in a very polite way, it's polite, as I could say,
I think even regular women. I think lawyers like button down women,
I see
is there a neutered men all day around a guy like you know, Luke Rockhold is now might be better. Looking the Jays Mama
and he's ah ufc uh. He was middleweight champion beautiful yeah, six thousand one hundred and thirty six foot four somewhere in that range. My features looks like a model
huh handsome God. I want to see them. Oh yeah, ass, kicker. What's in the best picture, Bro kind of gets that's after a fight scene before the beast, but
point is with
shorts on we see is look that handsome bastard
yeah he's got a good build. That's the kind of build my way
it's like she doesn't like it too big likes like
enhance, slow down you and him. With the same, the fuck
short girls are watching that guy, though, like ok, here's another one, George Saint Pierre, one hundred percent, look at that beautiful body- oh yeah, toured Saint Pierre- is beautiful. Good George, Saint Pierre,
literally has to beat women away from yeah.
I am from me I'm busy. I am busy go to pick
they're, always throwing a punch, the one right there that
I mean you know yeah girls would be begging to have that inside of them.
That's right, I was a woman if I was a heterosexual woman. I saw that guy and he was like you
like a drink of like fuck? Yes, I'd like a drink God. Damn you savage! Let's do this yeah, I want to drink and we haven't after you fuck me yeah. I don't want to get too drunk. I want to feel it still woo yeah
and they go after it. They are some of the players, some of the fighters don't to
about that. Uh. Dare you kiss and tell? But it's when other thing is interesting. Is female fire
right, that I was reading a story about story, husband, who's, white who's, a trainer. I think his his wife is a boxer was read the story about him like his
dance, like he heard of the ring like getting her
his wife, is in there and a knuckle up with some other
chicken and maybe get really fucking hurt yeah and to be there
While this is all happening, that's a wild! That's a wildlife! Female fighter is a wild creature. You think male fighter, it's like almost
all boys somewhere, the the back of their head. Have this
Steelers fantasy of being able to fuck everybody up
bitch, you know fight a bunch of people of God. Damn chuck now
this movie and karate kick people that would be cool is the real
have learning how to do this, like I don't want to do. That is too much
it's too dangerous to scare fuck. This and most people don't do it, but for women to have that is probably way more
rare to have this desire to secretly fuck people up
way more rare, maybe like, let's be generous and
twenty percent of the number that men would want to fuck
Maybe twenty percent of that is like the number that would be women, so then how many of them go through with it yeah how many of them go through with it and
get to be like a cat zingano or get to be like
and noone is like Jesus Christ
the number so small, so small in terms of the general population. Those are some wild humans yeah. If they get to that stage, where they're fighting in a fight
can cage for a living, wow, yeah
Holly home, like that, is a
raysy way to make a living, yeah yeah. You got think if they make it
for farther, even more vicious than men, because they've they've, you know they there's
just social taboo for them for men? It's like! Oh, that's bad ass, you're, an MMA fighter, but for women, everybody just,
it's weird and they think there's something wrong with you. Well, it's become more acceptable, but it's still terrifying, especially for men that don't train like
but for a man who doesn't train and he's like around Miesha, Tate, she's, really hot, and she also fuck people GUI.
Weird it out, like imagine that girl could fuck you up like she's hot and she could fuck you up
That's not nice! Handsome! Some guys, probably love that people like that bondage with are tied up in right over overpowered, but one of the
odds that a girl who knows how a fuck people up is looking for that kind of guy home.
Zero yeah. That's true those girls who doesn't line up Luke Rockhold looking to get stuff by another alpha. That would be a good
movie right. There
hello. This is a day which is due is bank. It like Luke Rockhold to shoot a lot of porn and bank it and then have it release after just retired from his career yeah, because right now right just as it can get away yeah it's going to be a distraction.
But he knows that's this four hundred and one k my porn yeah um yeah, it's ah the numbers of women that become elite fighters. I wonder what it is in terms of like the amount that try it and then the amount to become fully successful. I bet it's a tiny time.
Percentage yeah like to get all the way through, like how many, how many men, when you, when you were growing up, how many guys either wanted to learn how to box or wrestle or do some kind of mark a lot of wrestlers yeah yeah. It was a school sport
who taekwondo and there was wrestling. Those are pretty much. The only forms that I that I saw we didn't have boxing in my town, but a lot of kids,
you knew were into it right. Oh yeah, yeah, how many girls, I can't think of any super rare
the martial arts classes did have a lot of girls. Can interesting is a good number. It wasn't half
but it might have been twenty percent. Might
twenty percent women that were in those classes because they wanted to learn self defense. You know I put my daughter in Taekwondo
Just wasn't that into it, but I go just do a year just to give you some sense of face
somebody if the fight happens and some
sense of what it's like to struggle with someone physically there. When you got to move with them, you gotta
the older. You are where you start learning that the more difficult it is to incorporate into your way. You think about things right think when you're young, if you have some experience with martial arts, you'll, be more calm and confident. If something happens, when you get older, you already, your bodies, you develop
knowing how to move that way, yeah when you're already like kind of set,
your ways and you're injured in your old. Then someone wants to teach you a wheel. Kick like Christ yeah like there's, no way my body's gonna do that
right body is move like that. Yeah, it's like you being able to do! Backflips, like you, you could still do back
your body, learn how to do that when you were young yeah, it gets in there that programs in There-
and there's a there's a moment of faith when you do a backflip where, when you go up, you have to go up before you go back and that's the first mistake in the constant mistake: is people
people go to do a back flip and they lunge backwards and they land on their head. But you really have to trust that you have to shoot your hands up, not back, and then you pull it in go over damn scary,
and that's like that with I'm sure with martial arts- is this moves that are does a moment of faith. When I don't train
for a long time that I try to do ah turning sidekick on the heavy bag. There's a moment like okay, I'm gonna hit this thing right. What are we doing here? He goes okay, ready and turn well, I just dropped something. So I just dropped. It's big ass knife shit. Let's not get to have around right there. What about twelve? Keep this big giant knife on the table? Yeah
when I do it today to this day, I have to do it slow a couple times and get the feel of it it trained in a while and then then then then it becomes a normal thing, but man it's hell on your fucking knees. I got a new knee thing going on like this.
The third time I've had to get stem cells injected into this meniscus
Oh really, this little tiny, meniscus tear and it develops into assist the tear we've hit it with
themselves a few times and it doesn't give me any pain anymore, but assist keeps developing in that area and it does. Sis has to get punctured and re
getting smaller and smaller. It happened
different times were had to get a drained, and the last time was a few days ago, and it was the smallest it's ever been, but still fucking annoying but you're still run.
Yep doesn't hurt when you run I'm taking time off right now, I'm taking a little bit of time off right. Now, I'm going to take a couple of weeks off,
and I'm going to run at a slower pace, skip the dogs, some exercise and I'm going to be more just more cautious about it not going to push my
I'm trying to figure out what it is, I'm doing, that's causing this sister occur
I think it's just overall pounding the
the hill running kicking the bag and all that shit yeah. I need to let it fully set in before I go back to doing that shit, so I'm just doing a bunch of other different stuff. Now a lot of yoga
hygienic help. It'll help someone! You know what would cryogenics is really good for his first of really good for your mood if you've never done it before
best kind of the you get your whole body in there, not just your neck down the neck downs. Okay, it's definitely better than nothing but
the real feeling is when your head's under and you're
whole body is like immersed in this air. That's cooled by liquid nitrogen! It's
fucking for reason do yeah you've done it now. I want to do it. Let's do it today. He I'll do it I'll, do it today? Okay, do it you're gonna love it! It's a freak out man, it's a
check out how long you stay in forty minutes and then I say:
out for ten minutes, and I do another three minutes. Yeah, you feel amazing. Afterwards, you know fix my knee. Well, it won't fix it. It'll reduce information though, but norepinephrine that's what it's called right, that the word sure um, that stuff gets radically boosted in your brain. That helps a lot of people with arthritis. A lot of people
a lot of inflammation. It helps him that I say it. I said it right ramps that shit up, you feel so good. When you get outta here like woo, it lasts awhile to Awar, just freezing to death. You
freezing to death. You are on your way to death and
yep out of any like wow. It's just everything just feels woo really yeah feels good man. It feels good yeah
I fucking love swimming in cold water. It's amazing for you yeah the way you feel when you get out too, but here's the thing. It's not the best thing.
To do if you're trying to gain muscle weight you
to wait a while after the exercise like there's, apparently there's a bunch of different studies- and I know andy-
Ben's been involved in a bunch of these studies and Rhonda. Patrick Patrick's discussed some of this research as well, but what have
Friends is there's a window of time after you lift weights where you should just leave your body alone and not ice anything, and this is more
beneficial to gaining strength and explosiveness, and mass and stuff like that. But that, after
window of time. Then it's beneficial to get into the the ice bath or to do cry or
like that, you want to give yourself your body a period of time to
physiologically adjust to the work like
Your body knows: what's happened to Greg did Deadlifts today: okay, okay, okay, we got all that.
Get everything in place, but if you freeze it right there, then it has an effect on the over might be butchering this, but I think
has effect on the overall amount of gains that you can make.
Body is not sending the chemicals to the muscle the way it would right see if you could find out? That's true: that's a figure out how to google that one? How do you go with that? One yeah post
workout, cryotherapy and hypertrophy 'cause. That's what they're that's what they're trying to
they're trying to figure out whether or not it's beneficial or not in that case. So they think that
It's really good for the mood and it's really good for people with joint issues, a lot of folks that that go there. They have like b
back surgery or back issues, and it gives them a lot of relief and you can do it every day, too. 'cause. It's only three minutes the thing about
and like that, is it's not it's not like any other kind of therapy like you can't do it any longer. It's not like being a pussy 'cause you're only doing it for three minutes, but you can't even do
twenty minutes about the first time you go in there, two minutes like fuck this. Oh my god at two minutes, you probably ready to bail, but then your body will get used to it, and then you can do three minutes, but
very controversial specially because
woman died. There was really
guess: yeah woman in Vegas was operating at herself and up
only she was not in the right height and the liquid nitrogen was getting into her her lung. She was breathing it in and she passed out that she passed out and froze to death
yeah terrifying. She had again. I think the story was that she had worked there and
you know shoes after hours, just doing therapy on herself and she fucking fell asleep in there. They should never do that by yourself. If you do it at a reputable place, always be someone standing by watching while you're are they stand outside the the door you're inside
scary, though I realize when you're in there like this. Is this is something you can
survive for that long
for a few minutes, but you
you're, literally exposing yourself to something that is one hundred percent fatal? If you stay in it
You don't have to be in freezing cold water. They say the amount of hours you can survive in water is
like surprisingly, warm yeah, it's like in the forties, you can die after a couple hours, yep, I'm throwing numbers out, but no but yeah that getting wet is one of the most dangerous things can ever happen to you if you're in the winter, in the mountain,
yeah it's one of the most dangerous things you fall in the water. They actually have ah rewarming drills, that they teach people particularly soldiers and outdoorsman that are interested in the shit. My friend John Barr Chlo, hey works for Sid.
That's premier outdoor company they make like hunting, clothes and stuff like that,
and they have a whole video on how to do a rewarming drill, and so what he does is him and his friend jump into a frozen river and then go into a tent and heat themselves back
up again dude you watch this in your whole body
because you there in the winter and their jump into a
Are they gotta, move the ice around and hop in this fucking frozen stream and they go all the way under and then they come
now, there soak down and there soaked wool clothes and their soaks in
sticks and they get into a tent acclimate their sleeping bags, and they try to repeat themselves
if you have, if you have no act,
says to a building a house with no shower no you're you're you're you're out in the woods very, very specific things you have to do and
survive. Yeah. If you don't follow the right steps, you absolutely will die yeah, it's really
common that kills more people than probably anything in the woods freezing
yeah. That movie revenant freaked me out just go
going into the woods up north for three months to collect pelts and you
looking through fucking streams and it's pouring rain, and you got
no heater, no electricity fuck that yeah! That's how people died. Lot of people live that way
to a lot of people live that way until they died. I mean that. Do you think about those people that made it across this country and the people like Lewis and Clark and
All of these pioneers that just didn't even know what the fuck was around the next corner and he's walked on through with what they have like donkeys with
shit on their back, how much food you have? Do you even know what the fuck you
you hit an impasse you hiked for miles and then you come up to a mountain and you gotta double back and go around Christ. No Google earth, no, nothing shit maps, dogshit maps written by people. You hope, knew what the fuck they were talking about. You know you get maps from native Americans get maps for
sailor, try to figure it out, and then you randomly go into the wrong territory and Indians want to kill.
You know, there's an interesting film, that's out on Netflix right now, the ballad of Buster Scruggs,
moving, and it's all about that about the old West right. It's really weird, yes, so we're the other weird
guys of all time it turns black on brother, yeah, yeah, big Lebowski want my all time. Favorite yeah they've just made so many cool, weird films, but this one is really weird: it's like a bunch of non connected stories. I thought they were connected, but they're, not they just saw it taking place in the same time period.
And all the old west and the end pretty. Similarly they're all fucking dark and you gotta,
go into it? I would highly recommend it but go into it. Knowing it's going to be fun
dark, you got to go there, just accept it, but Tom waits
his one is fucking. Amazing, amazing, yeah, dude, amazing yeah. I thought it was Nick Nolte for a second hell yeah.
That's in the right. It is so good that one that was really good, that the singer guy was really good
I love that he well. I don't want to spoil it. I don't want to boil it: no, it's yeah they're, all they're, all great, but at the end of it I was like what the fuck that I just want. Yeah did you ever watch Deadwood
no. I never did Marsano Watt think about Deadwood. Is I watch it
once and they were swearing so much that my bullshit alarm went off. That's why I stopped watching yeah. It was like I don't think. People talked like that back there yeah, because they didn't talk like that in the fifth
he's in the sixties, see like the trend doesn't make sense. If people talk like that in the wild West, then why,
What? Where did that go where that girl that all went to the ether like they had kids, they raise their children
The children around this kind of language and somehow another it escaped and it went away and it stop that's not how the world works. The world doesn't work that way. The
works, in the way that, like you, slowly introduce fucked up words and then they become like the word fuck.
The word fuck on television in the 1950s. You would get arrested right.
Yeah. How is that possible on stage you get arrested, Lenny Bruce George Carlin. How is it possible
that is one hundred years removed from people saying it with abandoned constantly. I don't believe it yeah like
for example, of what it was probably like is like gangs of New York and then probably
actor yeah like that, was probably what people were like right. Then they were probably brutal as fuck, but they didn't swear as much as we like to think they did. Yeah
the deadwood things like they were using it. As ah I mean. Maybe I need to go back and watch it for talk. Shit
but it felt like they were using it almost like to modernize it yeah. Well, you know they were having these people talk like scaly would talk today,
right. They also say cursing is cultural like if you, if you're in a you know they talk about how black people curse versus
protestants curses coffee, yeah have some more that did you have anyway, even if I had a little bit this this article about it says that they purposely change the worst
as to make it more contemporary because I have been by and if they're sand, part nation in gold darn and like that yeah yeah they go and turning exactly but well managed to do that. With Vikings,
you know like yo we pillage in or what
we doing the FUCK man yeah. I
this bitch
let's let loose on the shit. Let's let loose on these bitches yeah
I mean, maybe that's
this real, similar yeah, see! That's why? Okay, so I'm not wrong on purpose!
they're, bringing it back there, making a something or other brain series back, 'cause it and in the middle of season two when the writers strike after I just kind of
I heard as adults, Viking one that's on Netflix! Now it's a cop! I think it's a comedy. Is it hello yeah? It was a norse Norse gods or something like that. That's something I don't think that's the one I want. Somebody else told me about one thing to put on my phone because on north not nor spends that it that might be it his other.
Is that a comedy, my kids fucking curse and I never
First around the house, my wife Crystal little, but now suddenly.
It's okay and their fifteen and eighteen,
Suddenly, okay, there were a dinner and just fuck.
It's thrown around all the time like when did they wonder Iook that this it Norseman just got a comedic fiber to I don't know if it's like a full on? Oh okay, I'm just going to skip the whole thing, so I'm not gonna jump Peter. This is not my guy!
things stuff that I saw was like that looks like some Monty Python.
Well, why not? But it's good though, but I have a live in this might be it there's just too many new shells, I can't yeah. I can't keep up. I know it's um, it's like it's!
This such high quality things are so good, but it's not great in that you can't keep up.
You started watching the marvelous MRS Maisel yeah. I saw the first season and then maybe one or two of the
second season, but just I really
I think she's fucking great, obviously the cast Tony Shaloub, but it's just,
got so jewish don't say anything because I'm I'm just starting
okay. This is what I do. You're gonna locked up. I fucked up and started with season two, how you did start
with episode. One season, two episode: three. I was like what's wrong with this yeah, that's hilarious! No! I no, I know even know to tell me so tell me, tell me, store, I forget,
you me, but but I went back and watched the
First episode of season one I was like holy shit. This is even better, but I thought it was good watch
in the first episode of season, two, not even knowing how she got there, because I knew was about stand up and issues a comic, but then going back and watching it from season. One I'm like oh okay,
yeah. I think, there's a lot there's a lot of stuff about how they and writing on a show, that's similar, and that it's about a comedian starting out on crashing. It's, I think they really
capture the
Cesa somebody brand new, finding their voice on stage yeah, yeah and the map.
Agers grade the woman the plays are manager. There's always somebody like that. That's in your corner, that's helping you develop yourself and
and she's she's natural on stage I buy it. I buy her as a stand up on stage by hers being actually funny, and
interesting. Seen Lenny Bruce the guy who plays Lenny Bruce, is very good yeah who's that guy who's that who's her too
Her name is Boil spoiler, get to see her breast calls
fantastic by the way. Good. Lord, thank you Jesus. I had to do
rich, not that I was the only to reserve, but now I know search on her news. Just let it go. I did a thing on her noodles she's product
it up. So you won the Emmy this issue on the gold one zero for that yeah yeah
Brosnahan and
Michael Zegen, gin and now great and
who is who's playing Lenny Bruce, is that the guy look Kirby Luke Kirby Luke Kirby
outstanding. He did a great job. He sounded like him. You know sounds without doing
an obvious impression
It sounds like it's got the tone right, yes, get the inflection right, it's not overly stylized! No, no! No! It's saying that you believe it. He added sees he's DE. Did a great job
of like seeming like a guy doing stand up in front of a room people not like an actor playing a stand.
Well, the woman that created the show, apparently her dad, was a stand up and he knew Lenny Bruce, which is why she put him in the series
because he's the only historical figure in the shell right right.
It's also the show they take some liberties with a history like the. I don't think there was a comedy club back then,
You know this gaslighting called it that I don't think that was real. I don't think they're really
there's a comedy club back then I think back. Then people were just doing
poetry nights and they were doing you know that would be like a musician. Then a comedian comedians would host thing. I don't think there was.
Necessarily a comedy club yeah. I think that came later yeah.
It's rising. Star came out of being a cabaret, and you know
would sing there and then suddenly people started doing stand up there and the two existed together for years before it became
comedy. We should we
did actually know this. Why do we not know what was the very first comedy club? Well, it was a catch
There was the hungry I in San Francisco that the first
might it was the sixties, though, as that want to
that was the sixties, because the ice house is the oldest running comedy club in the world.
The ice house is the oldest. All the other old ones are gone except the ice and the comedy man
The club is right on its heels right. That's that's probably second, but what
was the well that place is called the light and I think they,
does a gas light. I think it was a comedy club, though I don't think the way they did it, which was
rate and again I don't want to give give too much of it away, but
they did it where it like people getting bumped like she got bumped yeah. So I don't think that that was
what guys did where they ran around doing fifteen minutes ago from one club to another, the New York comics to it? No, I don't think that's really yeah, but that's a nit picky thing. That's it's more! You know it's more indicative. I think of how people do it today. You do you think they were doing. I mean who the fuck knows so, maybe they'd drop in back then. Maybe they did have nights like several nights where they had just comedy
this is book by Cliff Nestor about the history of comedy. You read that no he's great, I don't know, but it's cliff
n e S, t e r, o v
and I had about my podcast a couple times he's great but the real
first comedy shows in New York were um. The comedians
Drunks thieves, scoundrels in the history of american comedy. Did you find anything about the oldest or the first stand up comedy club, arguably at within the United Kingdom, one thousand nine hundred and seventy nine? It was the comedy store and before that there were
perform. Okay, that's some english motherfucker got Ahold of Wikipedia. Is everything all right? Let's just started United Kingdom in the United States history, it goes back into the 19th century involved Ville places, and so it just depends on when somebody first turned
venue right, but what I'm saying is who called who was? Who had the
right, so this comedy club yeah, the hungry I San Francisco
yeah, so the hungry? I was a one hundred percent comedy club, yeah
and then the bitter end, which was music and comedy interested in New York.
Those are the ones in what years that it says in the fifties into the sixties, doesn't have a particularly wow, Mort Saul. I think more, it's all still around Google that I think he is, I think, he's still doing standup. I think Dick Dick Dick Gregory's around. So I think that Gregory died. How he did is that true find out that first, because I'm a dick, I say, died, he didn't yeah um
yeah Dick Gregory for you, you know yeah. He died, but I think Lenny Bruce might have started at the hungry eye as well. I think he started in San Francisco. I think you're right yeah.
Yeah. That was the beatniks right yeah
into the is he still around God? Damn you Mort Saul, still Rock
one thousand nine hundred and ninety one years old, mother, wow outlive them all good for him,
Yeah, all these guys were the originators mean without them. These are this
the original roots of the tree of stand up comedy hundred percent right. Here we do not change Gunter. I was going to look for anything. It's a history, really stop and think about the the year it starts in the sixties and that before
so that it didn't exist like that, like it was kind of a thing that people did. There was court jesters. There was funny people there was comedy
in various, plays
musicals. There was comedic elements. Well, this cabaret yeah, and there was
some people with MC things, but in terms
like someone going
specifically to see someone say things in a funny way, just talking in front of a microphone that shit is really recent. Yeah, that's now imagine if we were born one hundred years ago, what the fuck will we D'Oh
well. We might, we might have done vaudeville, hang out with all those vaudeville people
where you go from town to town, your your. Your suitcase has no wheels on it.
Again that shit on a train put fun though few young yeah for young fun, because if you think
you're a big deal when you go to a town now go to fucking,
Columbus Ohio in nineteen nineteen and
perform. You would be like a god to them. You'd also be like a carny
yeah yeah traveling from town to town, probably fucking real, loose
your morals yeah right.
Doing. God knows what around the Midwest all kinds of STD's and
yeah, I o and babies. Constantly nobody pulled out of use the rubber in nineteen. The 1910s
There are also like there
a savage life like to expect them to find a nice gal, Kansas
settle down. That's right. This is they're working
tilt the world they gotta prop it up with logs to the left side, doesn't have a leg on that big spin. So you got to keep an eye on. You don't launch anybody to the park in life and if you do you just pack up and move to the next town, they just get the hell out of there. God there's no way to track him on the internet, yeah they.
But you know a lot of those early. It was very jewish because she
we're having a hard time getting hired, and so that was one
few places they could work and that's why they say comedy
is a very jewish thing, oh interest leading into the borscht belt and all that
Stan and Ollie Movie just came out. It's basically about this Lauren Harlot Harlech were vaudeville touring comedians.
1920s. When did this come out. Just came out in the theaters
no shit. I haven't heard word by two weeks ago:
Stan, always stand for, forget the laurel and hardy right yeah, it's John C Reilly and.
Steve, Coogan wow, guys they're, both amazing yeah, John C Reilly's excellent. But I don't know what Steve Coogan is who's Steve Coogan. They said british stand up, I think
But that's cool! I'm glad someone! Okay, I've seen that guy and stuff before
I'm glad someone's doing that. Charlie Chapman was supposedly bad.
He would go up to the Hearst Castle and fuck a
hearse wife in the castle.
Ever go to that castle. Yeah. When I was little kid amazing, amazing and yeah chaplain would go up. He was fucking, everybody, everybody's wife, get off on wives, really yeah. That was the thing, so dangerous
Imagine the only happy if you're banging someone else's woman wow, that's crazy, kisses! No,
there's no commitment, maybe that
and if she gets pregnant, you know, he'll, Claimant Hill claim the baby there at the house
it's like wow
whoa. That's him with a cigarette
yeah, that's so weird 1930s, banger Hurst would have one hundred
guess every weekend they had rooms for hundreds of people and they would have hunt
They would fucking hunt during the day or you know they play tennis and then everybody would meet for highballs at like, like five o'clock in one room and giant fight
places in they've set dinners.
Fucking servants and
if you got an invite to that, he went for you go for like three weeks watt yeah you come fucking. Look at that dining hall. You know what that looks like it looks like the
wanted dining hall in the Disney ride the
did. Mention
I don't that you ever seen that do you know I'm talking about that? Inspired from something
guarantee that's what it got inspired by looks so much like that. So, look at that in
right now and now:
Google, the
dining room at the haunted mansion Disneyland.
As seen when you fly by and you're your
little train and you pass by all the ghosts are dancing around shits be looks just like that
and then it was a zoo. All the grounds were a zoo. At Hearst Castle there was fucking giraffes running around zebras like El Chapo. He
couldn't get rid of his money. He had so much fucking money, that's the shit image of it. They have a good image of it um. How is that possible?
not really supposed take pictures in. Are you? Oh, that's a good point, yeah wow, so everybody
everybody does people are always taking
There's a shit! You take pictures of your kids. In there
anyway. It looks real similar to that, but yeah that guy had way too much money.
He brought over wild boars he's. The reason why California has a wild pig problem, no shit, yes, wow him that fuck god damn yeah wild boar.
They go, hunt them yeah. They brought them here
now. That's why there's a whole like it's not down here, she's, not in southern California,
there there there slowly making their way down here, but the ones that are down here, the closest they are- is to hone ranch to home
match about an hour and a half from here and
they have wild pigs. Is it that hard to just get a bunch of guys with Ak Forty Sevens and hunt them down? It's not that hard
can't do that in California, California, you can get depredation permits and they have gotten depredation permits and they hunting at night with night vision, because sometimes the pigs will start.
In the way into agriculture or this
making their way into like the lay down some fresh sod and put some grass down these pigs will destroy,
thousands of dollars in landscaping damage. So when they pray
that that's happening, then they get a special permit and then they could just start whacking yeah, and then they just take out like everything at night, and they do. You know sniper rifles and shit.
But then, when a normal person wants to say, if you wanted to kill a wild pig, I do
You can get as many licenses as you like. You can get five licenses,
at six single and shoot. Six pigs in a day, it's totally legal as long as you pay for each individual tag because the
the understanding is that at least in most places, California, the only place that treats it like game and
places you don't even have to have tags for them most place, they're, encouraging you to shoot him and that a problem,
will be the case in California, eventually like it isn't like Texas, France, for instance.
Texas is a real pig problem. They have a giant no shit
millions and millions and millions of pigs. I remember that from the front of night late show with the improv in Houston. You said that with you really had me believing they didn't believe it and they're setting up the job.
Whole time. It's nice! I think it's like that with alligators in Florida to yeah, when I was a
they were an endangered species. They would ask us to please not feed them. Marshmallows 'cause, I lived in Gainesville right by this place, called Lake Alice Lake Dallas at Allen
fucking eleven years old and alligators glasses, crazy, yeah,
God Damn dinosaur, but there was a spy,
small population of 'cause. They have been whacked into oblivion before people make it suit suitcases out of him, and then they made it illegal
hunt them and they made him a protected species, but then they fucked up they overprotected and those God. Damn
Super lizards are everywhere in their fucking everywhere. My mom belongs to a golf course down in Florida where she lives
This alligators apparently like this fucking fourteen foot, alligator and the people are playing golf and it was a deer.
Everybody's on the everybody standing there going like into deer at the deer. Look at that beautiful, dear
Fucking alligator comes out grabs, it
pulls it into the water. Does that spin move takes it to the bottom done so
everyone is talking about it. What do we do about it?
about
weeks later. My mom is out on the course and her ball is right. Next to the lake
where the alligator is and she for
cats- and she goes
over and
ball is right on the edge and she's standing there and she
standing on some fucking like dead. Some dead grass
Santa gave out and she fell in the Fucking lake up to her
neck and then she remembered
and she fucking started scrambling up the mud and grabbing at the
needs to get out of there and enter and the people that she was with had left, she was playing by yourself for some reason
fucking got out of there and got in the cart and and then she just started laughing. Oh my god, you believe
What should my little mother, my little five foot, two mother, oh, my god, would have been a tasty meal happened, so quick,
a dear old lady, nice, soft old lady, a way more tender, yeah corn FED.
My mom's corn FED. I never told you that yeah to choose organic
Now we let her free range, sometimes there's a great story about a car chase cops were chasing his do with stolen car and guy jumps off a bridge into the water
immediate gets eaten by alligators wow he's like a little
overpass over river, which hops out of the fucking car jumps into the river and smash he lands right.
In front of an alligator. No, she Jackson in front of the what do you car
Do you shoot at the alligator to try to kill the alligator was telling a guy could point me? That's a reckless thing to be doing. When is a lot of thrashing around you just let it go to empty your clip: pap, pap, pap. You know
how much distance is there between the bridge in the the water would write? What can the cop did? Well, you know the guy's gonna die, so I think it's a. I think it's a safe bet to take some shots anyway. I think it's not safe bet to take some shots because of your cop. Would you hit the guy and they said all you shall write trying to cover right by that letter for
alligators eat him. It's true, you gotta! Let the alligator item now save your job. Here about the guy. There was a guy flying a plane from Florida to Cuba or Cuba to Florida and the plane, fuck
and went down and he survived the crash and then
not eaten by sharks, really is funny.
So far, because that that twenty minute period, where you
floating in the water but you're thankful and you're, almost giddy, I did it- I fucking survived, oh my god, yeah bad day. Well, you know that story about the World WAR, two boat that sank and the guys are flow
see for several days and most of them got eaten by sharks. If that's the the story that they talk about the beginning of jaws yeah number, with the the captain, the captain's if the Falcons car
listen. He starts talking about his ah his time on the boat yeah. Do you remember that scenery Scheider? No, not Roy Scheider, the guy was talking to Roy Scheider, okay, who's that guy's. What's that guy's name again old time actor, the guy was fucking amazing, spooked jaws
they said to quit Richard Dreyfuss. No, no, no! No! No! No, which drive is a scientist, would rush either was as the sheriff Richard Dreyfuss was the scientist and then there's a an older gentleman.
Oh yeah right, he steals that fucking fuck yeah. He steals up movie. Where is he? He steals that fucking movie? He steals that fucking movie
you believe him wait. So what was the opening scene, not the opening scene, but he describes what it was like now. That's a different shark attack
typed in World WAR two saw the naval ship yeah. That's it! That's it! I'm sorry! I was thinking when
the worst shark attack in history. I was thinking it was that story about New Jersey, where the bull sharks killed people scroll back up. So I can see what it says there
one thousand nine hundred and forty five US naval ship was sunk by japanese submarine. The ship sinking was just the beginning of the sailors, nightmare yeah, that's the boat! That's the story!
How many people died a shitload? Let's see two hundred three hundred,
yeah of the one thousand one hundred and ninety six men aboard nine hundred made it into the water alive they're our deal. So that's that's. How many survived the crash?
so there's nine hundred dollars of them alive. Now how many of them make it to the end out of nine hundred screw it screw screw it screw. It.
Yeah, this is they're just giving you the full line of the story that I give in just the actual facts. Three hundred and seventy three
One hundred and seventeen remained so so almost six hundred people got
estimates of the number who died from shark attacks range from a few dozen to almost one hundred and fifty, so the other people die from other things: starvation, probably heat stroke being in the water.
And so I bet when those guys died, then the sharks ate them and it got even worse. Fuck man, that's fucking crazy,
Just imagine one hundred and fifty people eaten by sharks,
round of blood in the water fucking Christ.
But when you're around any kind of thing that can eat you and kill you, it puts it all in
active that you're not you're, not around that enough. It's not it's! Not!
You should be around it all the time, but you should know it's a real thing and when you're around it, you know like. Oh, oh sharks, just will just eat you, oh a bear will just eat, you
Oh about line just eat. You, oh like these people that got killed this year.
Was, or two thousand, and eighteen at least, was very rare and that two people were documented, killed by mountain lines in the Pacific. Northwest one guy in Portland.
Portland one guy outside of Seattle, pretty rare that Mount lines do that. But oh
Mount lines would just eat you, oh that can happen to like.
We think we're so safe and I think it I think you're.
It will keep you in the moment. I think we should release like Grizzly in cities just because
like you might be worried about all my the fucking stock market's down, or I think my wife's cheating
right back in moment, you're in the moment, but then you gonna have to allow
will be armed to protect themselves. Guys gonna have open, carry carry
They are slowing around their shoulders. Looking for bears everywhere. Yeah taking a kid to school, you better bring. The rifle is only two blocks away. Bro bring the rifle saw bear here a couple of days ago. I imagine you walk outside your house and you hear a branch snap, you turn and you see a nine hundred wild dog like thing
and that's like that's not one shot. That's gonna be a pretty good gun to take that thing down. You know, I'm gonna, take it out, we'll look up nine millimeter! Now it's just gonna eat your bullets right. It's gonna, kill you anyway, fuck yeah, you would have toe you'd have to have a perfect shot right in the perfect part of its brain, to shut it off quick to prevent you from getting mauled the amount of strength that they have to you'd, be like a water balloon tearing open a bag of
ziploc bag full of jell, o yeah. They just rip you apart, you're, going back to that movie. Revenant that fuckin bear attack was insane the bear attacks, nothing compared to what really happens yeah
if he really got bit by a bear, but that, like you, probably be destroyed, like I think the guy that was the that we're really happened to him and realize
It's kind of based really loosely on a story. I think he got kind of like a little malt.
That was enough
a little mauled leave. You like that. That bear was throwing him
for like yeah, that bear would have killed yeah. You have no bones left
napped everything into a fine powder, just crush you and then eat you right how fuck yeah? Why not eat you, especially when you start stinking like to bury things? Let him rot for a while huh they dio my friend Adam. He shot a moose in Canada and bears claimed
and he went back in this video of it. It's so spooky Whoa says burried, it's a giant big ass moose, but
and they got you know they shoot it and then it goes it runs
and then you have to track it. You have to let it let it die. It takes a little while so the smart thing to do is to sit out for a couple hours. It will be dead for sure, but what you don't want to do is spook it while it's injured. If it's not a perfect hit, if it runs away 'cause, then it's going to just keep running
and for a long time on adrenaline, so the the route, the. If you don't see an animal die, you don't see, you see a run of the woods. You wait and you
just as a precautionary mother, well, the dam will die in seconds and a bear claimed it immediately. It died probably right in front of him. What state was this? This is in Alaska, so the bear is there. The moves dies right in front of him was like. Oh look at that. That's mine, it starts eating it and he starts covering it up. So we eat some of it covers it up. They come tracking in an hour
here, so it's already covered in dirt. Wow like oh, no, that's crazy!
holy shit fuck now,
No think it would take to take fucking frozen minecraft myself. They might have shot it and taken some of
meat and we're going back to pack it out, because sometimes, when you hunt you hunt with one person, but when you go back to pack out a big animal, you bring like five or six guys help you yeah, but this is the video of it. Look at this. To give me some volume home moose is buried. Yeah
yeah. I don't like this.
So everything is like you know five and a half feet high grass.
You know you see. I mean how tall is that grass for four and a half feet, at least so bears could be in that shit,
They could be hunkered down in that shit, so I'm seeing the skull on the ground and the skull
skinned out. So what that means to me is that he had already started butchering the the moose and probably went back to it. So that's I was kind of
correct that right about that or not
but so this is what happened um. They could only take some of the meat because they were terrified. The bear is gonna come back and I don't think they had a gun on them. Another just scan in the area see how the boots the head is already off of the uh yeah. So this is the next
YO. That's scary, shit man, so they didn't even see the bear. They just know it was a bear exactly yeah, think about the strength to take frozen earth like that and dig it out. What's the type bear you know, if you run into a black bear, you're more likely to be thought of as food. It's kinda
interesting, like you're, more likely predation on humans is more common with black bears. They just decide to try to eat you, but with Grizzly.
Grizzlies air. It's rare that a grisly decides to eat you. Besides the chase, you don't eat you, it's more common than you fuck up and run into a female or you try to steal his food, like that.
They had to get the fuck out yeah, because if he just decided to run at them they got a real giant problem. Most the time of bear. Won't, though they're cautious, they'll, they'll hang back 'cause. They figured
going to eat that whole moose you're going to leave me some. I ate a bunch, I'm going to wait a little while see what the fuck you're doing is probably full anyway, but they had to get out of there. They only took a little bit of the meeting and they took off like this too dangerous wow
they used to be everywhere, used to be everywhere in California. That's why it's on our flag. We killed them all, not way you and I were in
yeah. We didn't kill anybody, kill anybody, but they killed all the Grizzly Bears in California, but it's still under state flag
state flag, has a fucking Grizzly Bear California doesn't have any grizzlies, it's weird he
in Alaska once and they were, they were like raccoons. They were behind restaurants
Going through dumpsters
grizzlies around or brown bears or black bears,
they were. I don't want both they both up there. Black bears become more well, they all become a problem if they start getting around garbage 'cause, then there's
art. They know where the garbage is yeah just keep returning right. There's a place called Leveque the vet. California, it's off to five
and its name that way for the last guy to die in a bear attack in California. Really yeah. They like enough
Apparently they wind up digging this guy up afterwards find out the stories true, and he was just in pieces,
hi so coastal bear to. Is there a bear, attack, shark attack or dying a cryogenics tank die in the crowd would be way less painful. You just freeze, that's the way to go. I don't know. If that's the way to go, though
because then you're not gonna, get eaten, look shouldn't you return to nature yeah I mean you really should be eaten and I
other beaten by one of my kind, which is a ground animal, those fucking cunts in the
I don't even buy those heartless assholes, don't even take care of their babies. You know a bear
takes care of their young. I mean there there there shitheads they eat their babies too, and especially males males, killed, babies left and right. They actually actively go after them and kill them, but so does sharks. Sharks. Sharks have, inter
room competition. They they eat each other inside the womb. Oh no share wow! You ever see like ah an m r, I of sharks in the womb. Now it's a monster movie,
that's insane the real those images. That's a
question. I've seen those in August and I feel like it might have been from a movie, but I'm looking now. Let's see, I think it's real. I think the reason why I thought it was
break, and then I found it was really one one of those either I thought it was real. I found out was fake or I thought it was fake found out it's real, but the images
if it's real, it's fucking amazing she's a little.
Stirs inside a inside of
and then you got to think you know. I guess no one had it. Fuck it
lay the eggs out in the men just jizz on the eggs really yeah, that's how it works. They don't fuck have terrible life.
Wow yeah,
Women lay the eggs on the floor good salmon. That's what happens that happens with trout.
The eggs out. The men come by and shoot loads all over him, and then the things pop up
No one takes care of anybody, wow all those kids they screw up. Without parents don't give a fuck about. Then the parents will eat him. Yep happens all the time with little fish,
now bigger fish is hungry. This eat that they don't even know. If there's gonna meeting of I'm hungry, they I'm hungry,
of a system of maintaining a population and there's not enough food know some of you guys got
I don't remember this in finding Nemo. Was there wasn't in there the fucking left it out? They didn't even eat yeah,
all those bare movies, the movies about, bears from Disney to don't eat. How can
not chasing down moose
soldier. I stare at tearing
Bambi apart eating her face while back legs are kicking. The bears
hold him down. Need him like a grape eating that ass yeah go asshole. First, okay, it's
it's very inconvenient to show that in the lion king
show how a lot of these lines their food was never eat. Everything is a battle for going to war with
people trying to their kingdom where's the kingdom where's the food yeah. How come I?
How come? I don't see that you're fucking with kids given
it's bad information that will be a great movie. Do do a feature leads lane.
Animated movie, where you show how it really works: killing awful yeah, killing awful yeah cats. Cats are the population control of the world. Those motherfukers faster than everybody can
only eat meat and all they do is just run around and try to catch people slip in try to catch animal slip to catch it
just there, just Darwinism bugs in lion. King
come on come on. That's a
Did he just ate like like you've, met Timon Pumbaa and he showed him how to get grubs or something like that? That's what in the fuck
kind of propaganda. Horseshit is this that God that's entire American, but the way his dad dies in a stampede of like Wildebeest, which he probably was attacking it? I just don't remember them showing that in that movie at all, that's how they really you know
see. The problem is kids grow up and they see this stuff and the soft headed amongst them within then
that animals are really like that so they'll venture out into the forest try to make friends, you just have to be open, spiritually yeah just go to the lion's den yeah, open yourself up, spiritually and let the far
no. I talked to a lady wants to the yoga, lady and she was
from Colorado she's like when I walk into the woods. I just walk out there and say I'm
walking out here with love. Please do not harm me like yeah, that's not going to work.
Let's less you're having your period get back in the car, well, not only that they don't
It is not a morality thing. It's not a good or bad thing. It's like something's going to get eaten if you're
out there and you're the slow thing you're going to get eaten, no offense,
no one's mad at you now, just Darwin
Zelda the week. This is not a
discerning
organism, that's
moral value that it places on. You know attacking thugs on Lee or not going after yoga instructors, no slow shit that I can eat. Yet they have no language.
So just there's an organism looking to survive com,
Lexx, set of reinforce
fence and reward systems that are set up for it to be an incredibly efficient, predator,
see male lines. The size of that phone call do just the biggest jaws, powerful yeah. So the shark thing I found articles saying where you were saying could not find a video, and I do believe when we
found that before it was fake, I'm trying to find Google even like fake the sharp, the sharks in the body. Just Google M r. I images I found something that kind of contradicts it. So this is a dead shark that they perform a c section on there's. Ninety eight live pups,
yeah, that's true, but that doesn't mean that it happens every time. I think what I had read was that it happens. Often this is the only thing I can find of it.
Look at all. Those shots,
throwing them in the water he's pulling him out
saving them. That is nuts man. Look at all those little monsters just swarming around. Do you know they fucked?
It's crazy! Do you millions literally millions of sharks are hunted and killed every year. That's crazy offer crazy. All the soup, that's relatively yeah.
You know, that's change people's attitudes on shark fishing, because people used to catch.
Can you get it at restaurants all the time I don't know
You remember on the EAST coast, you'd get mako shark. You are fucking player right, pimp again, some short right lemon, some butter yeah. It was
Common thing: nude servant, restaurants, how many sharks?
Research indicates that about one hundred million sharks are killed each year.
Roughly eleven injury Ericsson hour in? That is incredible. This is by finning. That's incredible!.
It's likely that many sharks are caught without being reported, also the okay. So this is just what they're reporting, my God
This is like the first time I can remember in history that people are concerned with people fishing for sharks, because we talked about this was the governor of New York.
Who was it? Who is the cat that got in trouble for
Be catching a shark and cooking it needing it. I want to say, was the govern governor of New York, but coma? I don't know it's not. Maybe the government son, whatever the fuck it is Jim you'll, find Andrew Cuomo tweet a picture himself.
After like that yeah. So this was all normal. When we were kids
his was normal spot like that. Might as well be a Marlin or ah halibut. Just you got a shark.
Cool, would it taste like? Oh it's good, it's good. You could,
lemon. Like swordfish yeah, I'm agreed shark yeah, it's a little tough, a hundred Florida, thirty four pound thresher shark. So that's some! You know Mako particularly delicious.
Really does taste a lot like swordfish, but in our life
time it's now become taboo, because people have this rough idea of what a shark is in. The sharks are being targeted and sharks being murdered and there's a
it's a small amount of sharks left. I don't know if that's accurate, because I think that this is just in
in part of the world they're killing off all these sharks. It's like
if you say that there's no more grizzly bears left well, if you're talking about California you're right, but if you're talking about British Columbia you're wrong, there's is a fuckload of him up, yeah and they're scary, they're, big they're, big and they're fast, and they need to eat every day,
and they berries if they'd find berries, eat some berries for the eat. Your asshole too
Would you would you say this? Is it this is happening? Is it? Let's? Do it right? You I was in
once and I was in I forget what town, but
there is an island called Bear Island, and I read
this: guy had a had a nineteen. Forty eight, I think, was called us
Stenson there's some kind of plain prop plane and I paid him. One hundred bucks
to take me over Bear Island in this fucking shitty little plane and we went out there
and it took him like thirty minutes, to get the
and started I was like. I should get the fuck out of here.
So so we go up and,
and the thing is getting
bossed around by wind
and and we go out
we go over. Bear Island, he's showing me fucking, bear all over the like the highest concentrate
a bear and anywhere in Alaska Jesus Christ. Those bears are giant man. Yeah
the coastal bears they're all eating seafood they're like fish and salmon, and they just get enormous yeah they're. So big.
So much bigger than bears that are in land, like hundreds of
What are the inland bears? Fuck? They get ahold of
Miley salmon if they find salmon. If there's a salmon river, the lead fish that eat berries,
Cavs eat a lot of cabs, a
of ah Cafs of Elk and moose and Deer fonds, the small things that can't get away. They did everything they can you they're so big. Yes,
imagine how much food you would have to eat. If you wait eight hundred pounds how much food you have to eat every
well four times as much as you eat. Now that fucking yeah look
long nailed creep, that's a monster man, man, but we think it's yogi,
too he looking so cute, he will eat your kid in front of you and that's what they have to do. I mean they're, they're, predators
out there, they're they're omnivores mean they do
occasionally whatever the fuck. They want to leave
roots and berries, they'll everything else too, but they'll. Definitely you yeah and love. It yeah have a good old time, yeah that sammons a perfect food for them. It's all
fat. Yet you store it up. It's almost like it's designed for them too, because the salmon die, they literally die on the river, a you don't have to catch him
I didn't know that every year when they die, they go back up to where they were born right, yeah. Yes, they say
that once the salmon make the trek from the ocean to the fresh water there
already on a path to dye, their clock is
gone over. It's already flipped over
into no return land. You couldn't take him out of there and bring them to like some salmon pawn. They live forever, doesn't work that way there. They they breed. They make the track they breed
and when they get to the spot, where
you know when they are at the end of their life. Their body starts changing color there
getting mushy. They they
rotten and they just fucking wind up like pulling up on the ground and then the bears move in and they eat hundreds of rotten ones see
is this is while the salmon are in the run, and these bears are they're fighting over territory. Look at the size of these motherfuckers Jesus Christ, dude they're, fighting
who gets the salmon yeah, but these are salmon they're, still pretty fresh and healthy
swimming around. They look good and so they can
them, like has a perfectly healthy salmon and he catches it right in the middle of it or tried who's all slow mo and shit. He goes to try and they catch some of them
come on bitch. Here we look at that. Imagine just standing in freezing cold water waiting to catch something with your mouth
delicious right, but they figured it out and it works yeah. Look the Cubs look come on mom fuck, so mom's probably gonna give him some of that yeah. She breaks off pieces of it, and so they just keep doing that back and forth and they'll do that all
but then once the salmon are done with their run, then they just die. And, coincidentally,
when they're dying is probably right
when the bears are trying to fatten up and get ready for harbor nature, so tall, like sort of happens together
and they're all in the right place at the right time see if you find bears
eating rotten salmon because, like sometimes they'll, put
pull up in these rivers in these like little
vons and shit, and you just see all these bears is chew. On these rotten carcass
yeah yeah, those salmon are endangered. Now we eat so much more fish. Don't remember when I was a kid. I would have fish once every
Three weeks now I mean maybe it's 'cause we're in LA, but I have fished a few times a week. Do you have some
fucking sushi one day
cook some salmon on another day go get one of those
poke bowls.
Leading salmon? It's a lot of food. Think about
those little organisms that have to fuck will not really
shoot loads on eggs, yeah make new organisms and then all the people with Nets- scuba mom, do to see us a tuna,
sold in Japan for the highest amount ever three million dollars for tuna shit,
and you have any idea where the tuna could be three million dollars. I know that they wait on the dock and in Japan and whoever is like certain chefs have more cachet and they're able to come in first and pick the tuna, but then they
then the auction them off and yeah they go for crazy money. That's so crazy, a giant fish
Isn't it like six hundred pounds or something how much it costs at least two hundred and seventy eight kilograms? What's that in English yeah, look at that thing, God, damn imagine how hard that is to bring in
a call to yell tell her why that was like a Levin pounds. Well, yeah battle, really in a battle yeah six hundred thirteen pounds, wow yeah, we kind of quite a few of them
you know it's interesting to catching ones that they're calling hamachi, because they were actually from a home
actually farm that was on the big island that broke during the storm, and in that
storm there, a couple years back giant fucking
hurricane in Hawaii, while it destroyed
this, this containment area that they had with their farm, raising hamachi for like sushi and shit. So now this type of yellowtails everywhere
in the ocean. Oh wow, yeah we caught a quite quite a few of them. Did you eat em yeah there great? So you caught it there,
he brought it back to the hotel and then they Friday. After looking for you yeah yeah. Oh it's amazing, so good
made sushi for us. They made they made. So she me they made Seviche, they cook baked it. They cooked it a couple of different ways, but you know
they're so powerful, attend
one, one nine pound one verse is so powerful yeah. I can't believe how strong they are. Yeah, you're you're wrestling with them and try to get him into the police. So imagine that things six hundred pound damn
holy shit throughout the whole family fish. Just my youngest youngest daughter loves it. She love it loves it. She loves fishing yeah yeah. We put a video up of the dolphins that were with us
I saw that screen. That was amazing. I've never seen that many dolphin swim with a boat be neither was incredible. They just we just hit the right spot.
Yeah and then they all decided to swim with the boat they just get in in front of the boat. Is the both pushing the water yeah? They started surf it. That's amazing, so crazy! You worry about you're going to him. You worry that they're gonna to the
right! People running the boat. They don't worry about it. All. The dolphins know exactly what they're doing they're smart shit yeah it's weird to watch man, it's weird to watch them
coordinate together and then we're done. They were done like by they take off wow
yeah my daughter serfs, and they come out. They play around a little bit. Sometimes they ride the way
when she surfing that's one of the dark sides of fishing right hump commercial fishing is what happens in Japan. They they take those dolphins and they they look at them as competition yeah, they're gonna kill their tuna, so they you know they've been doing that for ever the large scale, slaughter of them yeah.
Scary shit. They just shoot him to cut him. They bring up you've ever seen the documentary the cove.
Oh now I heard about that awful it's awful
like they're slaughtering water people, that's what it's like yeah this. What a dolphin is.
Is some strange super intelligent creature that we don't totally understand and and can talk they can talk to each other. We
what they're saying, but they know what they're saying and we could train them. You could ride item you. Can the dole flips for fish all this kind of stuff. That's all true
That's all true, but what's also true is they have a giant brain and if they have a huge brain Davis, cerebral cortex is forty percent larger than a person. No shit wow. They just it's designed, for you, know the movement of its body cause it's a lot larger body, but they think it's also got.
Some sort of, probably not totally understood, are measured cognitive ability. They don't know like how smart they really are.
We were talking about. Timothy Leary he's pal around with John Lily, John Lilies, the guy who invented the ice,
russian tank and he's also. He was a pioneer in Inter species communication. You give dolphins acid
and he would really he was set the float tank up next to the dolphin tank and take acid and get in there with them
yeah. He was trying to figure out a way to get dolphins to speak. He would get him to make a noise.
But they could. They don't have the vocal cords they like hello.
Sounds that we expect yeah, but there sounds weed,
understand right, which is weird 'cause. They
So what you're saying, if you say, ok, we're going to jump now, we're going to job we're going to give you a fish. They know they know what you're saying. We have no idea what they're saying yeah.
Yeah, it's weird. When what is the cut off for killing an intelligent animal? You know like you, can't kill dogs, cats.
Dogs are nearly as smart as dolphins, right yeah, but you can kill dogs in some spots, cultural yeah,
pigs are probably the smartest dogs. Oh yeah
Pigs are really smart and that's that's a tricky one. Always you know, but that is one of our cry
Syria, like even a lot of vegetarians, will still step on roaches yeah. You know our criteria is how smart is the thing. How close is
The US, the further it's away from us the easier we could just like nobody gives a fuck about oysters
Saban oyster gets got? I don't care, I don't care at all. I don't feel a thing.
Someone shucks an oyster and opens up scoops it out and swallow them like how's it good yeah. I know like poor little piggy, but the poor little piggy. That's really had nothing smart, oh say so scared, so terrified yeah. What about Muslims are dumb? What about lobsters getting thrown in a pot? Can you do that? I can't do that.
Oh yeah, I could do it freaks me out really that they're like moving around a live and
throw him in, and they
scream there bugs yeah. They scream they sing. First, yeah don't know
it's not like the frog at Carnegie Hall. I don't think they can make noise. I don't think they make noise there lobsters yeah, but they taste
lol, I'll eat, tons of them
when I used to work in Boston at the
Marriott. That was my day job for a while in college, and then, when I first started doing stand up
we used to go down and it was the biggest banquet Hall in Boston,
we used to get all these conventions all these fucking hayseed farmers with
from the Midwest and they'd stay in the hotel
well, and they could order any kind of dinner they wanted for their banquet, but they always will
the pilgrim the Pilgrim banquet and we used to have to fucking
this app is pilgrims and we would serve lobster. It didn't even make any sense clamber cheer for thanks, so so they would make an
thing about banquet cooking. Is you cooked
percent? More than the amount
people you're feeding just in case, which meant there was like you know, three thousand and thirty college kids, all waiting tables
and, and so after we fed them. They would usually have like a presentation or what
comedian or speaker, so we would leave the room for like an hour and a half and we would just fucking go to town.
On like one hundred lobsters could eat like three lobsters. If you want it and then our friends were all working the bar is, they were all the bartenders, so we
We doing shots
can beer, so is the upside. Was you live like a king
downside was you were dressed like a
an asshole, remember
And bakes people would do him on the browser yeah. Those were good yeah like a clam bake, where you would bury it and out seaweed over the top and shit
at seaweed, and it would just steam everything I've never done it. I've only eat
and it at a restaurant when you order a clambake yeah and they give you some I've never done the beach thing. I did it with Kevin Flynn in Nantucket, God damn it looks, attractive. Yeah, that's very true, great, very earthy,
right, the fucking corn in there everything potatoes to something about a bonfire on the beach right. It's like
special here. It is that's it right there how to make a steam pit
a nice, fuck and steam pit. Look at that. We got lobsters, we got caught and can we got clams yeah
would be lobsters and corn and clams
potatoes potatoes, and it would all be
buried in like a burlap sack under the ground
souls to God damn it
looks good,
people say they don't like lobster. I just do not understand that you don't like Lobster Eddie. Bravo: twenty fish heads fish, not a big fan, you son of a
Some lobster crab nice alaskan crab. Look at that with the
the green stuff. What is that minced onions or something? What is that crawl crow? I think,
no with the stuff on the no that's not. That is that's like a spice right.
Because it's on the corn to know yeah, I think that's like a what is that, like a salary or something like that, parsley chopped parsley,
some ship just make row and then the eggs of well that's at the top right. Yes, it's nasty! I like it. You eat the road everything now she liked it a to the the inner cartledge up. I suck the meat out of it,
I feel like if that thing is going to die, I'm going to eat as much of it as I can I bite into the you know how you take the back and is that meat underneath
all the crazy gills. So all that I just chew into that stuff, really chewed up it up up good junk good
that shit and butter. That's what I'm talking about. Then
one of those waitresses, I'm dressed as a pilgrim, I'm drunk hit on some girl from Boston College. Did you know that lobsters were like
or people food in New York. It would just go out to the east
over and pull him out of the water serving his bar food for people- food, do you know in Ireland during the famine they were pulling fucking lobster out of the ocean would need it like rats. They said they fuck. Indeed, the British would just ship it off the so crazy yeah. They not figure it out. They're drunk one person, just boiled it up made somebody just shut the fuck up,
right what I've been avoiding this, what I
been thinking what the fuck are. They been doing that the whole family starve, it's got, damn delicious, would believe in potatoes. We keep in Indian,
fucking lobster
or even in this fucking lucky charms. It's almost four o'clock.
Now the rambling forever it's goddamn time warp in this building,
how long was I tell you would be doing this three hours and seventeen minutes.
Plus we talked for about one slash two hour before yeah I play
some dates. Please do, ladies and gentlemen, live comedy company, I'm gonna be in Cleveland. One of my favorite clubs. Similarities love that place January. Seventeen through nineteen, that's a great spot yeah. I love that.
Then in Boston, I'll, be in Boston, Jen, Laugh, Boston January 31st. Last time I was in Cleveland, you were in Cleveland and I did it with you. That's right! You stop by the surprise, guest spot. That was fun. That was fun great,
Rapids Michigan in February, and then a bunch of the dates coming and best buddies. I'm doing a benefit January 27th at the
We start you around Bill Burr.
Going to be on the show.
He did it last year. It's a delta dental thing, but definitely a group that helps intellectually disabled people. The twenty seven is a Sunday night yeah I
I'm in great got it Joe Rogan's income see it on men. I've also got a new podcast with Alison Rosen called childish, where we talk about raising kids together, like her, isn't
great is very cool yeah. I did her,
I've had her on and
did her when she was on Adam Kroll. I did the show with her them together. I like her a lot. I think I did a couple of times with her and Adam
Please do each others podcast constantly and we just realize like she was my best chemistry, so we just started
cast, yeah, she's, she's kind, she's super smart, yeah, she's, cool she's, reasonable, like she looks thinks about you, can tell she's thinking about things right, yeah, that's awesome and I'm glad you're doing that and what is it called again childish, she's, gotta
maybe in another one on the way and it's kind of meat
a teacher had a parent and she's,
not buying it. How do you do a week? We just do one a week. I think we've done like seven so far, nice and you still do your own right, yep uh. What
how many hours been talking shit were burnt out. Greg
it's. What is it fits dog rated dog dot com, Fitzdog yeah call this dot com Greg Fitzsimmons on Instagram Greg.
It's show on Twitter, nice yeah! That's it you fucks by love! Thank you
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I got a lot shit in my tie,
it's going to be on soon: oh shit, the great powerful Theo VON
going gonna be here soon. I got a lot of fucking people coming and Adam Green tree. My good friend from Australia
be here soon
A lot of podcast folks were events,
do that Kanye podcast to he's a busy man, don't fuck with him too much, I'm going back and forth with Sylvester Motherfuck. It's the loan! That's right! Sylvester, Stallone! Gonna! Make that happen. I got some scientists coming.
Some really interesting people, and that's it that's it for now, love you all.
Thank you thanks for your support, thanks for enjoying the show, I appreciate you and I think about you when I'm doing it, I want to make sure I don't fuck this up. All right, love, love to all by.
Transcript generated on 2019-09-27.