I life and the headquarters of brandy, solutions broadcasting from the part in stored studio, but my sunday giant I'm so excited this is the ramsay we help people build well, do work, they loved and create amazing relationships on george gamble joined by doktor John, the lonely today- and this is your shoulder- so call us up a triple eight, eight to five five, two to four

and, if you like, this show please consider subscribing leaving us review wherever listening and sharing this with a friend, John wages, That's some really cool data and from our listener survey and it's amazing to see how many new listeners came from word of mouth, eight grown, you gotta check out the show you gotta check out the show and there's only a certain amount hugh. can handle in their life in the repertoire of podcast, in shows they listen! I'm like four hours a week. I can nothing exactly two hours. He bore murder their saint aid. ramsay show you're gonna get an hour my time. That means the world to us, and we truly believe that these principles can be entertaining to listen to the show. It can also change your life. A week one of the things we talked about in there was the word of mouth I used to be. I worked with the same twenty five people and I might tell one of them over launch or call people about him, and I I did some crazy. I paid off all my debt right and they like what like they used to be word of mouth

now. You can just listen to a podcast episode and if its meaningful, you can just text it to twenty five different people and so on. Expanded this idea of word of mouth or you can afford the link of a youtube clip or a youtube episode to your mom or your friend or whatever, and so it's obtainable ready to send these episodes out. So have you If you listen to an episode, if you watch episode- and it me it's me- full to you. It's its impact will and you think, pianist really Mommy's to hear this call senator for it To a man and bring everybody entered into a weird little gang, it's a party, we love it grateful Are you guys? This is your show? Let's get to it? Tunisia, with us in Washington dc to kick off this? Our tunisia welcome: hey! Do in high I'm ok, hurry we're doing well. How can we help today? to make it plain. I am bored at my job on Monday. I give her eugenics show me too.

To night you know, you got a loving, you drowned, I'm ok so you're bored you want to get out of this thing and like I work from home, and I am like when my hair out, but I have a second job an arm because I thought a good. The davies that saw on came back up here. My credit card love and I have to But the career I want going to have to get a masters, some I do, she got more than what you are weak. What's the John, I don't know what to do but with a question but the job you wanna go do so I went to school, warning or be a social worker, excellent excellent, and what do you do now, I'm I'm a research assistant right now in cardiology curtailed. Theology richards research assistant So here's an idea are you well, george till the sad news, the saddened

this is, I would not take out any more student loans and you'll move at the speed of cash. You don't ever ever ever. I know which means this may be a two year journey instead of a noun journey or Let me tell you, let me what might happen. So, let's do this, let's say from boy ford. tunisia is a person who never borrowed money. It's just the table was who I am. What that means is now. This is a person who figures crap out. I will figure this out. My first bastards degree masters degree and phd all loans. All loans say with my wife lot. Six figures. Lots though said never again, and so next job They had a benefit where I could get one class and then I went and said hey. I got these professional development. You pay to send me to a conference every year. What, if, instead of going to that conference that that that dollar about the same as a class cannot trade you for that, and my boss

Like yes, fantastic, I said it would be more benefit, that's great it! So I'd. Love to see you go apply at hospitals that might pay for you to go at a social work degree that might hey for you to go, get a nursing or might pay for you to go, is going to support you in that journey, not make you go into more and more more debt. I would love to see you on the phone, so we can make that happen. I think you can find that place, traded at. Oh, I know, because I don't drink they're going to help. Are you more afraid of being told? No, are you more afraid of being necessarily chained to death? It's a worse case scenario that they say now. We can't do that and you got right all right, we'll call shake it off. Have fun so: what's it going to cost to go to Affordable program in your area or online go to college it'll, be like thirty three, a little private school like liberty, it'll be like thirty. Seven together

three thousand told whether, like thirty three saddles unity, gotta community college, you are you're. My is not right that guinea. I threw a masters degree. There have monsieur rick committee college: the one that I worry, that wine and bear the masters degree for school council? If I were you, I'd get on the phone with local school districts who are so desperate for mental health professionals and teachers, and I will see if there is a possibility that they would hire you and help you get credentials. Henrietta ooh. I the dark one, a hundred per cent. Yes, schools, arse troubling all over the country to keep people. And you might have to leave to seek a disease really really really expensive here I still am opinions on. Only one of what did your mind. Well,

be time to start looking across this great country and figuring out of place to go but again it's your person who never borrows money, you're a person who has to figure it out and figured out means we have to do stuff that we didn't plan on or want to or think that would be great. But that's what we're going to do, because we don't borrow money as who we are which is freedom over everything else much more debt. You have left arm. I had sixty five hours, and stood on, and what was the degree and that you got social allergy, okay,. and ass all of your dead. That's all I just paid off my credit card a couple of months ago. Awesome. I wonder you making combat that! Don't shout about fifty thousand ogre as I'm after mac paying taxes, they may last year and living your parents, your expenses, are super low. He appealed gallagher right now, that is a blessing

Let us take advantage of that knock this dead out as fast as we can, and then cash flow, the most affordable programme that we can do John said there so many ways and it's gonna be you're gonna get super creative and go. Oh, my gosh. I no clue that there would be willing to pay for my education if you can find out you're going to create an online program. I know it, here's why cause we love you and here's. The other reason. I don't want you to put third six thousand dollars of debt on top of the sixty five already have and then make. We owe a hundred two hundred ten thousand dollars making sixty grain is a social worker. You know why cause, I know them. Those are my friends and they can't breathe and it takes them. fun out of social work and the dream that there's not a lot of fun and social work now becomes. I gotta pay the bills. How am I going to you can't serve somebody else? You you can't save somebody from you can't pull them out of the ocean when you're drowning, you're right So my friends, who are minimal professionals in its almost my entire community, who owe crazy amounts of money they can't breathe. Don't itself to that number

those future clients enough to go in with the non anxiously only money can really jump all ali.

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George camel joined by doktor John, the lonely here. Listening to the ramsay shell, open phones at aaa eight to five five too you five marilla joins us up next in lexington kentucky mary l. A welcome to the show. hi. Thank you so much for having me absolutely. How can we help today? Well, there's oil things diet. The main concern right now is my husband has in why I mean we ve been working through baby set number to bet, he's been hiding ike, and choke perch feel better really gag were How are you hiding coming up and well this past week I found out lad the vehicle that we have been paying hundreds of dollars amidst man over a thousand repairs?

had put a lean on several months ago, so we couldn't even scrap it is man Which we're down one car now and instead That was one of the airlines recently what he put a lean on his own car and he's been. and he told me that he borrow against it. Like the equity of his car that my understanding like he got? certain amount of money and then listen when we were starting to work together on the baby's that peace bed, we paid off some things you think that money to buy worth asking him. Where did it go like? Why would you do that? But he said we didn't feel like we had any money and and He went to one of those payday lenders who said will give you three thousand dollars, but I'm holding the title of your car title max- looks like an old pizza hut. One of those places.

I guess warned all of this very long go in, so we we, It also and had like similar things, happen in our relationship like wait, he spent thousands it now about the air tat, lows: yeah: what's he ryan. Well, I talk today not too long ago and because I received Something in the mail and that we have found out in the first place was the cards in wood originally primarily in my name because we got this- is why like years ago, when we first got married, he gotta washer and dryer dan. Recently, like he purchased a lawnmower. That was for him to use at whose grandparent town- and it was like about the nobblers in determining allowing hot air and mean that bad

almost paid off that promotional purchase. and there you about nine thousand injures warrior them less than two hundred ninety nine dollar items. They told me we need a common juices meeting tonight and was so We think it's put on the table neighbourhood by our offer that walker, through she can pull her credit report and find out. What's out there, yeah, you can pull your credit report for free annual. And did tell you every piece of debt that is owed to your name and he needs to do the same. Here's what here's! What I think marilla guys beyond. With you, I want to be alarmist, but the honest with you, I think this is real. Bad is what I think and either he is a bumbling goofball of a ding dong. Who just is walking through life like a thief they get turtle or

He has a very deceitful person who is spending money on all kinds of things and lying to his wife face and when that happens, It's very rare. These they're, not hiding some sort of addiction or some sort of other person in their relationship, not tell you freak you out. I'm just telling you this. What we do for a living It is rare that somebody just keep blown up money and spin it six, thousand dollars for more for your grandparents, we doing yours, yummy madness and That tells me there's. Somebody is out of control Ok, okay, yeah, but she's tell you the back story to that was kind of his new office grandfather, essentially his father figure a couple years back, I think part of it is like

in his mind. He feels responsible to take care of things. For her told you that told you that I think that colonel were that came from in our needing to where I could forget that in ireland we are working together. I thought so now, I'm at square one again to them like you'd, tell you're telling me the truth and then you're not going away, but there's also a difference between aid and take care of my grandmother and a half spit on and completely dishonor my wife. you don't have to do want to do the other. I can completely honour my grandmother in young craigs list and buy me a lower that barely runs that will get the work done She gave a push our believe excuse. I know I know, here's the thing how long together five years at some point in the doesn't have to be today, some point you're going to have to stop defending him because you've been,

finding him for a long long time. Right. Why you have an answer for everything I'm calling out in george, and I are both husbands. We know how this game works, but you you're. Will you keep defended him and if it is so, you can defend him all. You want till the end of time. But you can't breathe right now and george like move here. It he's broken your trust. that is the foundation for any relationship and it's gonna. Take long time to repair. take even longer if he continues to make These financial mistakes without, To you, and even if explains it. You get a vote and right now you have an out of openness relationship. Have you it's has been him, go well, you're understand, I'm doing their arm I'll figure out. I got it, don't worry about it. And you're going along with their right. Well, that's all He had a complete control over every thing: money, wise, combat it and have a job, because I had no

That is our kids now, but never start you all, and he didn't get the money. Could you have a job, my stays at home. She works on, but she stays at home and we do this. Together. That's not a reason one. It's not that way in. He did come to a point where Said, ok, you have Turning you try it like he wanted to. Let me I can do a better job because we both know that wasn't working with him. My the financial decisions, so he's gonna drivers, long enough and he's been crash in the car and he got rid of the car you used to you. another one you went bought on credit. You're a georgia's right georgia's hundred percent tonight this end tonight- to look cross a table and say you. been committing financial infidelity? your violating our vows, your cheating on me and I think we

I get really obsessive in our culture, about fidelity being one thing, and one thing only and it's intimacy with somebody else, and I think fidelity is my commitment to you. I'm all in is way bigger than that he's cheating on you. Stealing from you he's lying to you in point you gotta say. Hopefully tonight you put a put a piece of paper Donnie say this is right now how much money have you borrowed and our families name much do we owe, and where is it cause and you made that one called allows When you made that one other call over here and you found out a whole litany of things, you shouldn't have to call lows to figure out what your husband has been up to now. He should be able to pull out the statement. Hannity. Here's the help, here's how bad it is. But how dare he? take a turn the money and they keep keep parliament more money. That's why off and I was in sight

and the other guy, like those gonna quit trying to questions, are each eating non me art. Whatever money has been borrowed and that sort of thing- and he did mention another credit card not like thousands or anything. It was like three hundred dollars or something that at this point that this I don't trust him I want to see- credit right now either side. No, what could do tell him during his kind of report to the table growth go to in your credit report, dot com? You can pull it for free. Both. You have to pull that we're going to look at this thing with a fine tooth. Comb lay out a plan and go if you're not on board. This is In a word, we have to have a different conversation. no more lies I cannot continue this relationship on a throne of lies. It will not work. So I'm wishing you the best marielle, but you got you got some work cut out for you, I'm so sorry you're going through this. This is the ramsey show.

Welcome back to the ramsay, show I'm george camel joined by doktor john alone or folks, your chance to win three thousand bucks it ends today. That's right, month long. We ve been asking you one question: what would you do with an extra three thousand dollars, whether that in spain off debt, putting a little extra toward her investments, pain. The house early or planning something fun for your family make tree enter the ramsay cash giveaway today is the ass chance to enter two when the final three thousand dollar grand prize and Ass, real people when the same and it's sad, some of the most fun or team has getting to contact them to let them know, and it could. I'll be easier to enter. All you gotta do is go to ramsay solutions, dot, com, slash giveaway it'll, take a less than fifteen seconds to enter and it probably the easiest money you could ever win even easier than crypto john It's really there's. No such thing that's easier than crypto

Crypto says: oh well, here's the best part there's no purchase necessary. You don't have to buy any crypto, which is so great and you do have to be eighteen or older to win. Sorry, kids tell mom and dad so hurry up, enter the range of cash give away today before it ends ramsay solutions, dot, com, slash giveaway, let's go, the phones Alyssa, joins us in fresno, Alyssa welcomed the show, I think you sure, what's goin, on My question is my husband and I are on baby step two and four and we paid off all of our debt old I was hold up to. Is it two or four? How is it both we're on we're on two ok we were on for then we bought a car So what are you doing? I, though, so you're likewise now arrive tax. Kick my ass by doing the car so we'll get there

My question we honor home here in california, My husband recently was given and job opportunities. About two hours away at the coast, which would be fantastic for his career fur, storm future job advancement things like that. Obviously the after looking at the beach is much much higher than where we are now the quality of life we would have. There would be way better than what we have now. I would say we have some family in the area over there and a climate of such better wise to keep our house. when here and move over their knowing that, but potential for a long term, mental with like very all chance of actually owning property. So you're saying we won't be able to afford a house so we're just gonna rent in the new location, keep hours as a rental. Yes, the potential of like moving back here to retire someday.

I don't like making that big of a decision based off the potential for something yeah. Do you own your house right now? Are you still renting it may still each have a mortgage on it. We will have a mario Jeff, much equity. Do you have, I would sell it yeah not a hundred and sixty five inequity. What's a worse for fifty, so you got a big ol mortgage on this thing, yeah, ok! So what? If we sold it, We got out of debt and we had our emergency fund and we began to save up her down payment and new location and started planting roots. Their order are other option. Yeah, I wouldn't keep it and be a long distance landlord, because right now you guys are already broke and now what if it needs a new roof or the h, It goes out your two hours away in you, to pay up ten fifteen grand for these repairs yeah.

It went from a blessing to oh, my gosh. Why did we do this? We thought it was a good idea. I would sell them. advertising? If this job is incredible, then now that's a man makes all since in the world the sounds like embolism like you're going it just. you gave me all the reasons why you should say: you're going. I would oh and with our eyes, wide open and george just said something really important and which it amiss it go into it saying we can never do you. Can you may to squash this beach lifestyle for three or four years in really save and really scratch really claw. But you can you can, so you can he's getting arrays right, and I imagined you know the cost of living's higher, but you're also going to have a higher income, so you're going to work yeah. Yes, so I work here and I could continue to work remotely, mostly what no household income going to be

It would probably be. eighty eight hundred a month now you take on pay, yeah, ok and then what will Europe be? probably about thirty five hundred, that's a lot of rent so my goal would be let's get in a home when it makes sense, and that means a fifteen year fixed rate mortgage where the payments no more than a quarter of our take on pay, and so that means you gotta get that mortgage down below three thousand for this to make sense, which means saving more down payment? Are we talking like a million dollars for a condo over there? What's the going rate yeah, probably eight hundred infer, condo or million for a house. Ok, might mean we gotta get our income, obey sap and live on us. We make we're gonna put away ten t. thirty grand a year towards this down payment, fifty grand a year towards us down payment a few years. We're gonna be able to get out there and be a condo or townhome

because you're living one most expensive areas of the nation, but you don't get a pass on math, which is unfortunate. I wish we get so many people with live in big cities- expensive cities. No doubt this planned doesn't work. My is especially not gonna work if you avoided and do what you want to do in your rent is half of your income so That's the important thing you can just going to sacrifice in question. Ask yourself, is doing to live the beach life and go to the shows and go to all these things and do read stuff and get run by. Depreciating assets we borrowed money, gonna be those or I know he wanted my house and so are willing to sacrifice for five years we're going to live kind of low key and we're going to do free things on the beach cause, it's so stunning and beautiful, because we have go and that we're gonna buy house man. You could do that. Do them she'll come at a cost, the same as it's going to come at a cost? If your choose to play and party and have fun, it's gonna come at a cost of you're, never going to own a home, and half of your incomes can be taken up with rent

somebody else rich, so that's you got choice either way. I know the choice that I think we'll be wiser over the long haul for her thanks for the call was getting wet. One in here from Robert in syracuse robert. What's going on robert, speaking I gotta go. What up so don't try to make this clear? I'm a father and a further four children for the first time in your life you have by ourselves in the little tiny hollow in the year. I worked for the church. I expected never make too much because fisheries me when it was, limited to human made, so that we could serve the church and and respect that he very little when it can lincoln's money five years into a marriage or parents moved in the area and the white house, and they offered for us move in and enjoy the benefits of a multigenerational household, especially other kids

hold in your home, scolded him like a really good idea at the time frame for two years, it won't really well recently, though, it has been a lot more attention, and especially the two women. I thought about who is going to be I just said mom and bro move out and, of course, robber move out. This is your wife and your mother in law and your mom move out. So her mother My mom and malaysia ended up here. Very that's that the question I want to place. It would mean saving up for a while them. Well, any they'll know doesn't it. It means you may have to reconsider you. Ve created a life, you ve got for kids. If create a world that cost x amount of dollars and you want to serve you want to get some all rural or underprivileged underserved churches, which is noble and good bye created a world where, at this time, in your life, that's not possible for kids

it doesn't mean you gotta put this on for a long time cause for kids growing up in tensions so thick. They can't breathe yeah So it might mean you gonna, take another job that might mean you, gotta, leave, upstate, new york or expensive to live and find another place to live. My main wig bunk beds, stacked to the ceiling and it's a big old party, and we have that already are used to it. You sit down with your wife this weekend, you'll go out together, you'll make a plan, but you've got to get out of there and y'all gotta make some hard decisions, not about what you want to do for your god, with the reality that you have created for yourself, Thanks for the corroborate, this is the ramsay shell. This is the ramsay show. Our scripture of the day comes from luke, six, twenty, seven and twenty, but to you who are listening, I say: love your enemies, do good to those who hate you bless them.

who curse you pray for those who must treat you Benjamin Franklin said: love your enemies, for they tell you your faults hate before we would take a call that one, a george go back to that us. Because I know we're gonna get some internet grief about it. I think we have in as a cultural asset, koyetsu cultural problem. Where are we been told failure, passions told have kids We ve been told you, my house even told you should wages were shown up, we ve been told a bunch of things it if you lay them all out and do them all. They don't makes their work work is not a unified path forward in so I've. I'd or the last dec to figure out what what is that path then- and I keep come back to the starting line over and over and over, which is you have to choose reality?

the reality that sits before you. In that reality might be terrible at basketball, not in the cards. For me, it's not gonna happen and I can work and work at work. You are so happy took a darn. It could be. I sent you put a book in front of me and I just I just pull both my balls out of my head right. Fine. You're, probably not going to be a content, writer and so You have dreams of being writer and you hate reading you dont like practicing. Writing you have to start with reality I got. Four kids are six kids and you want to be a person of service. You ve created a world that can't you can't afford ripe to go back to the new testament pulses. If you have a lighted, you got kids you're allegiance has to meet them. It can't be to this other thing right. So I think, for everybody whose I want this, but I want this. But I've got this. Starting place to be well and bill and well to them,

If the term is being honest about where you are right now, toy dave says, pull out one sheet of paper and write down all your debts, smallest to largest, that is choosing reality. Right that's why a mental health professional when you sit in this? How can I help you today, right now in EU, laid out there. The doctor says: where does it hurt right now? You gotta start with reality, otherwise you just end up all over the place is just it's on tethered feeling. I want this, but again at that, and then and up with four kids stack to the ceiling above bids in your parents house, in your work if your mother about to stab each other to death, write it down. since the murder podcast will never find the body is holding the mess? all because here we have to be honest about the world with credit for us of and we wanted to do job acts, it's not gonna happen. We ve gotta go. I gotta go because we're I d have started yard business, whatever it is cause. This is my reality and then not a pessimistic, car cynical tell it's a it's a free it freed of its freedom. Freedom

and if you live in new york city, but you also really want to be a homeowner, it I mean you have to leave new york city. I you know I'm not brad pitt, the change for me being a lead romantic interest in a movie zero zero. So I can speak and all that acts in all energy, all at fighting ha or I try to become the best character actor of all time. For you know I mean I can I kin own reality and be the past. Is that thing you just on certain important you and I both talk to young people who are they moved to new york. I'm scared There are I'm gonna this and they find themselves living in a three foot by one foot coffin. It's a closet with a full kitchen and a bathroom in a bed in it and their pain, five thousand dollars a month for it, and they move and you just gotta go what ll? and they want a yard and the dog to what

you got. You can choose reality of stamp that on the, tattoo that on every person I come in contact with him. I think we have a healthier world one, the sooner that anyone, whether through young or old, the sooner you realise that the it's resent meant you'll have later on in life. When you look back and go, oh, my gosh, I wasted so much time and what, if and if I just had known, if I just made that move so the sooner you can look in that mirror with full reality, the good, the bad, the ugly. The sooner you can make the right path forward. Exactly that's a good word, our eye go to the phones, joshua joins us in greensborough north carolina, joshua, welcome to the show hello material. I like a camel two bloggers baked about here. You do what's goin on. I have a question on my back. and started offering me a car, from them, I guess, got my license like only condemn seventeen and their offer two thousand and very young

I urged her anger had been very well taken care of everything they offer an upcoming for fifteen hundred like you, I I don't think he said the young. As you say, it's a great deal, but I do have some problem If, as for finance, wage a great my, but I'm just wondering. I do have a bike. Some money history with my parents are just like this happen. and then a modern. Should I just put aside, I didn't his cart and relegate dear boy. I should know what he only money: history, other strings attached. If you buy this car I am afraid that if I'm buying this car it's I come back to bite me later. Tell me what that means. What is happening there had decided without the pass. It makes you think they'll have in the future. I have had problems with my bank account. I am my own bank account and I've had my parents going. before

god how and taken money out of his head Have we punished at night? He had put it back in I told them directly. I do not mind if they put take money, I'm begging count as they put it back, I just want to know so I know what my money is tight joshua but it is not right. I'm sorry. Mom and dad shouldn't steel money, other kids accounts I am not a big deal. One moment butter huge deal, you're talking to Current parent in georgia is about to be. Parents were not to take money from a kid my steal from her kids. It is a big deal. It hurts when it happens. It scared you didn't it. in a violated, the that you have with them, so you're learning a valuable lesson right now that I hope you never lose because all The world around. You know try take this from you and I

is Joshua's trust in Joshua that feeling in your gut This deal is amazing and I don't think it's right. So one of my rules of thumb for one of my rules of life is george, and I were just talking about a. I have a guy and it s not a gendered thing. It's like I've got I've got friend and she is eight- cancer researcher by the quest. I call her why she's bridge and got a friend who is a trauma if I get a question, a call, her gotta buddies, a banker I m going to think about it at the same time. I don't do it. Sort of business ever people. I don't trust period, even if its even if the deal the century, because, like you said it, welcome and by you I think you know the answer and I think it break your heart that your parents have put you in this position that You can't even take a great deal because they're not trustworthy tsar, right

what will happen as an. I think you smell this coming down the road as they say hold on we need money. We gave you a deal on that car that car was worth five thousand dollars. So really you still owe us thirty five hundred or they take it back when you're going to college like we have. We need that car, we need our car, but our car broke down. That was really our car. We gave you such deals. Aren't really yours right, you can tell these situated what's gonna happen register that that's what I'm afraid of and that's the exact reason why you shouldn't do this. I do to hate this, for you throw it away. The one twist be it. got something in writing,. And I understand how incredibly difficult that would be. But if you sat down with your mom and dad and said it really scared me and it broke my heart when you took money of my account and it made me loose. Trust scared me, And I'm afraid I'm a by the car and you guys you gotta, do something else like that again in the future and

I got some wisdom from some guys who see families heard each other all the time and- if put in writing that that pudding, the title into my name. This is a car and put in writing. I'm selling this car to my son fifteen hundred dollars and he owns a title to it, so they can't come. Take it back from you, you and I in the conversation, then I'd entertain it, but that's a really tough conversation for seventeen year old to have may just be passed, say the best to say thanks mom, but no thanks

that was this hour of the ramsey show in the books, my thanks to John bologna, my cohost, all the folks in the booth keeping the show float and you america. Thank you for listening until next time spend wisely save intentionally and give generously the hey. It's george Campbell, if you like what you heard in this episode and want to know more about getting started on the rangy baby steps, but a ramsey solutions, dot, com and click on the get started that will help you figure out the best next step for you, based on your specific situation, that is ramsey solutions, dot, com and click get started. Hey it's jake's producer of the ramsay show. This episode is over but check the episode notes for links to products and services you heard about during this episode thanks for listening.