I from of ramsay solution, just ramsay ramsey, where we don people build well, do work that they love? actual amazing relationship. Doktor John bologna ramsay personality is michael host. Today you showed to the doktor john bologna podcast, which is ever so pop and his brand new book just number one last couple months ago here building a new no building a non anxious life. one best seller again twice

So we're answering your questions today about your life, your money, you relationships. The phone numbers triple eight, eight to five, five, two to five ali, is whether to start this hour in lancing michigan violation how're. You dave. I wonder where the back you're one of my heroes so as to what is called moment, now for me, be able talk, you appreciate you can see my call, I'm honored. How can we help saw it credit? is suing me on paying some of my stupid tax, a parent or even though it popped up out of nowhere tom- and I I already answered the summons and I'm trying to figure out where to go here. Nokia. How much do you owe them a thousand one hundred one

the actual violence or the puffed up balance after they added a bunch of each to it? The pact that balance? What was the actual bounds? I believe it was seven thousand four hundred seven thousand five hundred a little bit of background on that? The reason I dont know the exact number is: it was actually on my abusive acts that opened up the card. In my name and on never used the card myself I had to away from that relationship with my kids and I forgot about the card and you you about the card, but you did sign for it correct how long ago was that on twenty nineteen out here. I am twenty nine. What do you make it so I run and in home hair salon, and I make about thirteen.

Hundred dollars a month on plus I have on child support of how much I'm fifteen hundred that's from the abusive. no. That is from my ex husband, not the abuse of eggs, debatable, but that's not back on targets, not the one. Your room from the door opened the credit card. Crack cocaine is from trying to get through. if you have any money so I have about fifteen hundred dollars and feelings currently suing your company. Is this what what what credit card company jp, morgan chase, and you have an actual summons, to go to court and actual the share out at our door, While I was served by a person and not a sheriff of the ongoing actual court showman frockcoat, yes- and I answered

famines and then we got a paper in the middle of the hearing. Mocha winslow healing on January tenth- are this one of those can walk through a couple things here: because information in these situations I found when it's me, I get more information, some of the cobwebs move away and some of the fear moves away, shut to start with your absence, worst case scenario. Is you do nothing or- over to the hearing, if you want to you're going to lose at the hearing gathers no defence for their other than one idea. I've gotten a minute, but if you just want to be During a just sat there, you're going to cost I giggle when you leave, have you ever gotten a ticket and they say: go to traffic court to get the ticket torn up and I can settle yeah yeah. I mean it's kind of a funny thing. It's almost like judge Judy, but without the personality

Ok, you know it's like it's come automatic. It's boring its there's no drama. There's no time cameras are lights. This is not only simpson on trial, its traffic ticket. For god's sake, Okay, so what happens? Is this attorney that representing draping morgan is? He runs a factory, a large factory you are one of ten thousand widgets on the conveyor belt. This is boring. It's not like. He personally is angry with you, or even knows you free. exist, wheels two wheeler into the court or the equivalent of that with computer download of a bunch of files, no one shows up and the judge rules and gives every one of them a judgment instantly. It's really boring. Ok, because this really open shot case, you owe money, you didnt pay, it you lose,

Now they have a judgment lean against you, which means like a try to attach your property. If you own any or your bank account or if you had a job, they would which you dumb they recruit, personal job, though, could go after and garnish your wages. Okay. So to start my point is: don't panic about january tenth, okay, okay, it's kind of a yawn. Now we do have to deal with this mess because it's going to keep poking you in the side of the head. Until you deal with it now how we gonna well we're gonna do with one of two ways. One is, I don't know if it'll work because you you ve, waited around too long to deal with it but basic, please, you are the victim of identity theft. Even though your husband at the time, a hug does not have a right to sign his wife's signature by marriage, doesn't give you that right, ok,

I give my insurance should ensure that fraud way if I have a power, ernie from her to do that, that's different, but he didn't show. This is just like a criminal on the street change your name up and got a thousand or credit card. You don't owe the money because you're a victim of identity theft. Now I dont, if you're, about pull that off, because you waited around if you had reported it after you left liable. Five situation and gonna happen: Now, please report at the time it might have worked, So here's what I do. I call the attorney on the summons and say: a process of filing a police, report. I was in an abusive relationship and I've just discovered that I am the victim of identity theft. I did not this card and I am not liable for it. Putting you on notice of that I'll, be in touch with you and send you the police report, because you'll have to follow. Please port and china affidavit. That says, you did not say the card a criminal did

one stole your identity. Oh by the way. His name is in his address areas, and they will do nothing about it. So never fear. Ok, but that's that's what happened it's as if a stranger sondra named card, you follow me yeah sure, You did not sign it now. The fact that tinkered around with it for three. Years and not done this earlier is gonna work against you. proving the fact that you're, a victim of identity theft, but hopefully you can get it pushed through. That's the case. You owe nothing technically legally. Morally, you owe nothing practically out. don't get through that are not a second if you can't get through that, all from two thousand bucks to settle it settled in full, but that's after you fight with him for a while. All hold on gonna have asked and pick up we're gonna put you in touch with the Zander insurance, identity, theft, people and see. If they take your case, And help you run this down and get the sob I

if, after removed as a favour to us Obviously, if you were one of their clients, they would take care of you but ask him to do it, for us hold up hi guys whether you're, starting on a card table like I did or well on your way to becoming a multi million dollar company net sweet, can help your team communicate and plan ahead better like they do for ramsay. Let me tell you that sweet really helped us get our systems together and more than thirty, seven thousand other companies also usenet sweet to know their numbers and their business better, such now next week today and find out how they can help you become the business you want to be five or thirty years from now and right now, you can download nets which free kpi checklist design give you consistently excellent performance at net sweet, dotcom slice, ramsay

doktor John bologna joins me, though shower he's my co host, although I did I didn't say a word last segment, it's probably better for america dave that he did have a question. Can I ask you a question? Whatever that's called now, let's talk about that. So I've had this back in my you, credit card, not paying my bills days, and I get this call out on the show walk. Somebody threw the difference queen the letter you get when the credit card, but a single letter, it looks like it from a law office and says you're being sued, verses actually being sued. One of those feels like a scam like a strong strong arm technique. The other is an actual legal proceedings. Now and even actual late legal proceedings- is up box ravish pretty much like references trafficked, it's a bit of a joke show. It's not like. Matlock or perry. Mason is gonna, be down there and there's gonna be summoned, timid, in person on the stand and there's gonna be a secret witness. None of that happen,

Okay, let's just say I did. I did go to rural tennessee to take care of a traffic ticket and it was pretty exciting. Wasn't it was. It was pretty exact: That's a little differently macro judgmental aboard niece. It was excited. He saw a guy roll up with appear. Do you know I? Just I sat back in the back in there is theirs. I learned a lot about the community. I would regard take up any more than you. Wanna do is a very different than I, whose cousin was dating, whose cause here what's in its fun, so the collection- industry, functions one thing, the only effective tool they have is fear. Their job is to activate fear and any thing they can do in the whole process to activate fear. It is the best ass. They have of getting the bill pipe. It's not loving, kindness, it's not working through the logic of your budget

it's not hearing the story about your mom, who has cancer, they don't care, it's all about fear and so cutting you often mid citizens, one comfort, Even uses people from a different region to call distance, they might have northerners with new york accent call southerners because its abrasive to a southerner or vice versa, because its abrasive and are so they'll do anything. They can't pull up a zip code on it and polar different person they eat, give them names. I had one calling calling. Her name was missus Baskerville, as in that sounds of the one call me her name was missus savage. Well, so I told tolerance, that's the greater! remember she's, like that's my real name said no its not, but that's good I gotta handed to because what's gonna got gotta behind the scenes who start studying the collections business on what they are doing it.

A massive game there in its a person that can't get a good job sitting in a cubicle with a headset all day, long yelling at people remove them trying to get them to do stuff shop. They threaten to file suit, they say work to falsehood. Tomorrow we have filed suit. They sent may I also say that all of that is a lie. That's why I was asking herschel many questions. I want to see if she'd actually gotten served and actually had a date at a hearing which she did she has been through: ok, but nine out of ten times. People call this show. They have not been sued, they ve been promised they been sued, they told we're getting so I'm showing you. today all that no lawsuit. None whatsoever, because a lot I didn't even collectible- it's all outside the statute of limitations. or some other reason they can't get out the debt so they're, just yelling screaming making a big, loud noise to try to get the little child inside of us to be fearful and send them a check

even people will pay bills, they don't owe sometimes like they'll call em other an elderly mother of some one and intimidate, her yell at her that her sons going to jail. She doesn't pay I'll shoot. Annabel I've gotta make I've had a call it a saying in last e business that is outside of the law at most of the time federal, fair debt collection practice that prohibits almost all of the activities they do on a daily basis. It is an out of control. Nasty in straight there is a small percentage of the collections business that is a local hometown collection agency, this collecting for the local hometown, pest control or doc. and they are usually pretty good people but they're like two percent of the people in the business. The rest of them are just scum. I saw their job is to yell and scream at you, flap their arms and act like that, the

You know we're coming to take you away. Ha ha, you know all this, and so that's what you ve gotta do is get the other side of the fear and just go really. This is I'm one case in ten thousand disguise dealing at this that day, there's probably five to ten thousand cases going through their there's. Also, as you're talking. I keep also having this nagging other side, which is pay your freakin bill, well, money doesn't go away bright. I gotta single mom, there that's been abused. That's right! Oh you like an thirteen hundred bucks a month. Yet I shall I. If she told me she added in the bank. I would have to have jumped in her kit situation. She didn't even owe it because she was identity that call the internet scary and I know, there's a hole that here's the thing here. Here's the problem with her situation and it comes up It goes under the same heading, though, is folks when you have something like that in the closet hundred percent of the time it's gonna come out of the closet and visit you

the exact wrong moment right. Fine years from now to you, from now. Just after you got me do that sweet little thing and you get right by buy oh crap back I was in college drunk all the time. I never dealt with this car wreck and I still Oh fourteen hundred dollars to freak in state far They finally find me now that I'm acting like legitimate citizen Percent of time you will deal with this crap. It has a high rate of resurrection. It will come back to life in the zoo, be form at the worst possible time. it's hard to deal with it When you have a problem deal with it right there right cause. It's a lie. harder for her to clear this up for years later. If she does that after she moves out from a bit abusive criminal, faff, identity, theft, boy if to turn him in instantly, followed a place report then and been

proactive, but that's hard to do rhodomontade susan oriented in an abusive situation. I get that she's, not feeling really confident and cocky right, she's, not around a lot of year, our rights real. All about really still, if you can find, in a kind of something down inside of you to burst into but and deal with it at the moment, right then, but when you, wait two years, it's hard for the judge, look at you and have sympathy, or only wait Here's the harder it. You will have the conversation about hey he stole my card. You can do it now have it. Or you can do for years from now and then not be believe you can pay a billion euro right across europe. moving on, I house cause you're still sitting in fear absolutely still sitting in broken english from that abuse right and show. Our job is to give courage due to knowledge and do two inch, racial to go ahead and deal with everything right now.

It we're only telling you if you find yourself have your eve accident, abusive relationship if you're over your head- and you just Haven'T- been able to pay we're telling you this, because we love you, it's gonna come the. If even if he had to find a body that will sit with you and make that call with you or will help you do it. you gotta do cause you're gonna. Have those hard conversations earlier you have them the better runway. You have to deal with it, yeah it's It is so much easier to clean up before grows right, but it gets tentacles. It grows. It grows all in if the closet- and you have to put yourself in the either in in the in the suit that judge how many people have those ten thousand people say. I didn't even owen me hundred and ninety ninety nine thousand one hundred ninety nine of them right- and you know I gotta tell you her going and filing a police report on an ex boyfriend. That was our ex husband that was abusive that's a lack of courage on her part. That is a she spoke on the behalf that, it's super super scary, yeah, so she's either gonna do that or she can pay the bills. You pay eight thousand dollars yeah and is that suck all around

Absolutely everything there succeed, the whole thing does show, but the deal is don't let it people intimidate you there an area in a cubicle five miles away. They couldn't get a good job. Ok, cleaning, septic tanks is much more honorable. At least you're doing humanity from good those guys that clean my septic tank and you don't have to lie to do your job, ok, and so they dont let these people set the tone shut the town just laugh about it and go all your cue ears, so cute and listening calm down a bit. I'm just let you talk to Mr Dalton you're here, low click how things will go away. Look click ready, look like here, we go. Ok, an audition motion with a man. I got a reach, the point that I've studied them so much that it, but it was lack of fun games like the guy calls up to sell you, the the anti Andrews data show that I called him up to sell him one of the auto. We call them

It stood, a corey did know and he's he's he acted. Lucky was five years on, I got my watch, I don't start, the car, but you shouldn't like a nice young man. Could I sign up for this anyway? You know he messes with him. He just had a good time. It's a great youtube video you to pull it up, but yeah you gotta, do you. Gotta have a way of looking at that were very don't own. You emotionally it you're we shot at getting your arms around this and winning and that's what we're here are there to help you do that not enough by your bill, the idea of europe, the bill, we're gonna, help you pay a too, but we also don't want them to be in control of your life. This soda sponsored by better help. Here, John bologna- and I talk about this all the time I love love new year's resolutions. I love the idea ruin taking a moment to reflect. Consider some ways. Your life is going well and consider some things you like to be different in the importantly, setting

in place actual steps you can take to heal and improve your life. This might mean. May exercise or sleep, a priority doing weekly with your spouse or, like I did last year, making therapy and important and intentional part of your new year and if you're thinking of starting therapy, try better help, because therapy isn't just for peace We have experienced trauma or who are able to function. Therapy. You find your strings over. personal challenges in practice. New ways of living and working to be the best version of yourself, better help us example enough to fit your schedule, because it's completely online just thought ashore questionnaire to get match with the license? Therapist plus can switch therapist at any time for no extra charge. Celebrate the prague You ve already made and in corporate new changes this new year with better help? Is it better help? Dot com slashed aloni today to get ten percent off your first month, that's better help hd lp doc slashed aloni

Doktor John bologna ramsay personality is my co host. They re anna is lynchburg Virginia. I re anna welcome to the show. How can we help? my husband and I we ve been saving money for a body and half now looking to build or by a home, and were trying to decide if that is the right thing to do, because I still have long payment you are not paying that extent on how much to loan debt do you have about forty thousand in how much money have you saved and so far we've saved about a little over fifteen thousand okay and what's your household income,

and together we make about eighty six thousand wielder for living. Now, I'm a high school teacher and my husband is an ambition. Count were at a local university, great, very cool. Well, you're, apparently fairly new tall, this ramsay stuff? Is that true, yes, millcote? Well what we have discovered in thirty years of helping people become wealthy is the shortest don't between where you are and wealthy, which homeownership is a good step in the direction of Becoming wealthy, the shortest distances to be debt free, have an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses by a home, Then start getting your retirement plans going,

then get the home paid off, and that's like a five or ten year plan on irish laid out right there ok What we have found is that when people by a home with forty thousand dollars, MR lund, at that it activates ever, negative thing that can happen in your life. Because shall we may is living in the spare bedroom stood alone has, one bedroom and heat never unit goes out through flakes and the hot water heater goes out. and you have no money. So what we ve taught people to do in its very unpopular with people who have house favour, because buying a house is a good thing, but by else when you're broke person is not a good thing, that's why they call him brokers so on You need to get a house, but you need to get one get ready or student loans. That is what we would tell you, and that's so that the house is. Laughing to you and not a curse.

Not what am I gonna do. I do agree with that ideally, what we would like to do, however, right, I think our situation is kind of what makes that a challenge, we live in a one bedroom apartment with one sign. On a start, growing our family soon and the apartment, but I highball have families that rent all the time move. I ran. I did what you what you're talking about. My wife was a teacher and she had about twenty thousand dollars in student loans. At he for her. She was married to an associate students at a local university who had about eighty eight fell. In dollars or the student loans at so combined, We have six figures and I had to have a because we're having a new baby.

and I went stone mad because the math never worked. And We ended up cell in our house and I moved into a residence hall with a two year old in a wife to get out of that again at a debt, and so I hope with all my heart, please rent, please don't add this additional strained to a young family, trying to start new careers, especially chaotic- is the world your husband's in college admissions right now, my gosh start tutoring. Yet In work and an rent as cheap as you can get them thousand paid off in one year live ancient arise, rice, rice beans, don't eat out, don't go on vacation get the stuff. Considered alarmed at all your life and then say: up and go by your house, I want you to get a house, but I don't want you to be cursed by the ownership of this house, because you to find it in the name of a baby. Don't do that if you dont want Levin one bedroom funk arena to bedroom, what product

I may lots of people do that was eight as directly as possible. The math doesn't care what you want. we're in a one bedroom apartment with a one. With with a toddler, I can imagine a scary that is but dude we are going through and that would you can't afford it yet or you can afford a house. You got to start rent it. You have to make some hard choices, pay that debt off man, just because I want a bigger house for my family- doesn't mean math takes a break right, jack in moines. Iowa hygiene welcomed the rams issue. I what's up our right now. I've got a question for you, my husband work in the tax yield currently, and we have about eighty thousand dollars in dark that arrested, and I was wondering That would be a good idea to pull those out and put that amount onto our mortgage to pay it off faster. Yes,

I was easy harass you want your know how I did that so fast is, I just reverse engineer everything they call a sunk cost analysis. I say if What are you on your home today? We a hundred and eighty four thousand. If you owed a hundred thousand dollars on your home, did I ended known stock? Would you go refinance your home and borrow an extra eighty thousand to buy stock now now, What's the same thing, doing don't backward ok, yeah that that credible, easier than I thought it would hit? Oh yeah yeah! That's that's how I did that so quickly, but and that's where I wanted to teach it to you too, so you can do that with anything. If you have a boat in the driveway, that's worth eight thousand dollars, you say it does not reflect kitchen table not didn't have that boat when I go buy it now, when this all about alcohol or yes, I love the boat, then keep the boat. That's! Ok, but that sure to reverse analysis of where you are today and pretend there's that

We need benjamin should than the miller your kitchen table and go what I stock or what I pay off my lot paid. I'm a mortgage. That is dicey is where my wife looks at me, sit at the kitchen table and she says what I did. Again and then I'm gonna start, I will say this when you will use your cash, not stock at your company, his court, Look at him weird or the people ask him why but I still get a vote that I'm not even talent ass. Another isn't the falls under the nanya yeah, but it's a none yah. You know, I don't have to talk about it. This, just like in the old days. People didn't talk about their money. I do now. I know I talk about everything now been assured generation grew up there. I didn't think their parents had sex or money turns out. They had bonehead bone I've never talked about her. I just a little bit of each day, little arrogant arab states. in Dallas, texas, hd, even our area

It will give back here god. How can we help so? I'm destroyed two perplex on how I'm going to pay for adults. at lawn, my girlfriend who I'm engaging in the next month as I'm going through doctorate of chiropractic school here in august, and ah, I just need to know the best way to kind of save up slash. You know How should I downloaded danish seagoing entered a beer chiropractor about two thousand useless just don't she should already done it now. She she leaves fur school in august. As a guy who worked in higher education for twenty years, please don't do that, and I know You know, you're, not gonna talk you out of the air, but don't The IRA, why, on this the average car chiropractor make sixty thousand box ok A doubling of review and at times smaller,

we're throwing a thousand dollars. Europe s nearly all need to do some research into chiropractic and actually understand. What's going on out there, I've worked with broke contractors for years, they're everywhere. I would tell you as your boyfriend I would not sort coming up with plan to pay off her student loans. Yet fortune on a knowing your situation? Everything can be perfect, but we wouldn't have a show. F. People didn't have great plans, it didn't work out our whole, I was made up of people who got engaged and then started taking care of somethin furred there. Their new husband or wife and undergo sideways, and so I would hold off

making up a plan to pay off her student loans until you are married, then I also would like to start having some real serious discussions if you're getting engaged, whether she's going to go two hundred thousand dollars in debt to be a car wreck, I gotta tell you that's what I strongly recommend you don't do that you want to go into chiropractic, fine, but don't go two hundred grand in debt to do it. There is no math that says that smart, none nowhere. I mean An empty for to brand actually are alive that this is the rams Every year I hear the same excuses for why people don't get the life insurance they need. So, let's look at the facts. First, it's not expensive getting ten to twelve times your income on a fifteen or twenty year plan is just plain cheap in many cases, second life insurance through your work is not enough and you lose those plans if you change jobs. Lastly, state

Parents need life insurance as much as anyone especially without young kids, alexander dot com or call eight hundred three five, six Forty to eighty two zander has been my trusted choice for all insurance needs for over twenty five years? our question of the day is brought to you by neighborly your hub for home services as the holidays are over, but your house may not look like it how'd. You know, so you need junk hang for that dying tree toys that have broken already and boxes. I came in, go to neighbourly dotcom, slash, Ramsay and contact a junk king near you to get that post holiday stuff I am alec ramsey right now, because my wife's birthday is coming up and I said what do you want? She said. I want one of those bins to show up in the back of our house to get rid of this old crummy boat. You bought off craigslist, and so I'm calling them today. This question comes from taylor in Indiana taylor rights. This is, of course,

in four dave and bologna armies. We paid off a hundred thousand bucks and student loans during the last three years later. Go I'm proud of myself for the personal discipline and fulfilment for for my financial commitments towards repaying the loans good. I used my. occasion to have a successful professional career and want to encourage others at the same as possible in worth it form, I feel agree. Sense of relief, but I'm afraid to tell my family, my mother, those entitled to be quote unquote, paid back for being apparent in his actually stolen thousands of dollars. For me, in the past agenda, they feel sad that I'll never hear that she's proud of me and wishes the best for my future. With her with her hand out expectantly. Is it for me to lie about my accomplishments and pretend to be broke in order to fund actually an emotionally protect myself So would you mind sharing what you might say as apparent since I'll, never hear it from my own? Ah, a minute, just a couple different ways: Dave hop in

I don't think lines ever good idea. I also think there a middle ground between. entering into conversations parading around here is it I don't want you to bring down your sense of dignity and your sense of character and your sense of electability by choose to lie! Take the low road! At the same time, no. This mother, who stolen from you who is actively looking steal from you and who expects to be refunded for her parenting. She has no, the flame on your life right, none, none, and so I don't think you talk about it. Housework works good. Where were you drive in that car? Well, that's! That's because I wanted to let the car I was able to buy well where's my car. Well, I I I pay for that when the cash, so that was my car budget and

In my car, I dunno when you go, get one when you get one when you start developing boundaries, which you're going to find, is it's like a muscle and you get real strong, real, fast, exactly We tell somebody know, and they start to him in holland, John and you get rid of you stand tall through that for initial wave that assault that comes up against your gates. Then you realize, oh, I stood. and it's just going to be that way. So here's the deal as long as you have to hide from her. She still has power over you, it's not it's! Not! She no longer should have power over you, and so it's just because all you have to just say no just you know. Mom. I love you a man under that I went away my around if you keep talking like that, opt out of this conversation, anomaly the walk away. I am, I am walking away now. Are you can do it? You just have to set about me, but you don't have to lie and you don't have to let her have power over you.

It's also it's also smart and wise on your part, which you have done to recognise. This is not a person who is going to celebrate with you, your incredible accomplishment, for which any parent should be very proud, but your mom's messed up. I'm sorry, it's sad when your mom's messed up, but sometimes moms or messed up enzo. yours is that I almost ninety nine percent of the time out and I'll. Tell you this taylor. I would sit down and right mom three different letters that I'm never gonna, sender I write a letter. This one's gonna be hard to tell her huh. Grateful your for what she gave you an I have given you some really thick skin. She may have given you a bunch of hurdles that you had to figure out a way over There are some good that is in your life because of this interaction. This relationship on Europe, Second letter that says starts with dear mom. You should have done a better job. You should have loved me.

And I want you to mine your soul for that stuff. It's heavy at heart. The third letter is Zob, should be one of freedom in relief in a low bitter grief is his who you're gonna, Here's what you're going to miss- and you begin the teacher body that it wasn't. Ok that, like Dave just said, she had power over me and I'm letting that power go, here's what you're gonna miss and I'm. not going to diminish myself and am not going to be a person of lesser character. To try to avoid you any more. As Dave said you don't get, anymore. You opted out and on sound really the point is I wouldn't I wouldn't lie, but I wouldn't expect a celebration. I wouldn't bring it up? Just is just something you get to do for yourself, and you know The things I did taylor also is years ago, gosh, its twenty plus years now- and I attributed is one of about five things that caused this.

In addition to be inordinately successful was I got. The first group are called him. A group of eagles cause eagles, don't flock you have to pull them, gather- and I got a group of men that worse drawn spiritually straw, Hang in there marriages, they were successful, very successful in business or in their chosen career to a more pastures of you. Churches are one was a multi tom, basalt, macbeth showing author and so on. room and we met every wednesday morning for babble studies. What we first our calling it, then we are just reading books and that went on for fourteen years, and I'm telling you that to say one of the rules in that room was that's a group a guys. there were high achievers and we want to be a safe place to brag. You gotta be until the good stuff cause there's, not everybody. You can't break in front of it because it's bragging, but

need to be able to come in and go just. breakin won the super bowl back god. You know you gotta? Have somebody that loves you enough in the room? That's gonna own that with you that you respect their opinion that you can share that with a special, isn't your mom's? Not one of them or they didn't? They don't feel threatened by it. Now they're not threatened they're there to celebrate with you and that's one of our rules and it's it's. We want you to. We want you to come in here brag when something really good is going on and when you something really good for your spouse. When should come here, brag about it and that really lasted and I've got another group of Gaza run with today and this one the rules and that group too, So when something good happens or somethin super bad happens, you bring it into, but yeah taylor you have some guys around that can celebrate with cause your mom's, not ever gonna be able to do that. She doesn't have the capacity to broken and she should have, but you should have a mamma celebrates you and you don't even artists and by the way are late.

I dunno what it is man, woman. It could be the one taylor you pay four hundred thousand dollars. You have a successful professional career were proud of you. We think you're, amazing bigtime way to gather data way to go. Do the snoopy dance man knows up ears out ants here we go, have it baby enjoy the right? Do it and don't let her? steal that and you don't have to go into someone's, presents an owl meaning Have power over you and your two bowed down by lying or by Enabling or participating in their dysfunction, you just have to smile and kind of shake your head and go gosh. That's awful sad! It's awful sad! That's just really sad! Mama can't do that at sap. No, not doing that. Sorry.

I david it was a long time discussing this regional goin. Out with this is because it's almost everybody out there. Everybody knew. We have a generation. I heard this recently dave, so it saying of talking my kids. And it was really a brilliant response. It was an older psychologist. Who is pretty frustrated? He said here again the kids. this generation of changed. Kids are kids. It's the parents of these kids that changed. You know I was that of that are actually a banquet with Bobby bowed and one time years ago, and I asked him ass if so, how much of the kids changed since you ve been coaching, you know five hundred years since the nineteen sixties, he said the kids hadn't change, apparent, survived and adds that try to the kids are still don't seem eject, stupid stuff. The kids

done college college football players are don't exact, same stupid step, but the parents are not even fruit. Explain its use to the parents are somewhat of an anchor, but there they ve lost a bad government. If you find somebody you can tell the positive stuff to please share it, share it with them and don't don't with her but don't lie. She doesn't have power over you anymore. This is the ramsey show the fly from the headquarters of ramsey solutions just for ramsey show we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships. Doktor John,

I mean ramsey personality, is my co host. Today, the host of the Dr John maloney show podcast. You ought to check it out on believably popular talks about mental health issues and relationship issues there and all kinds of other fun things. It's very entertaining. You ought to be sure you're. There he's here to help you to date, and so am I, the phone numbers triple eight eight to five. Five, two to five jordan, is whether in springfield illinois, high jordan, how are you you d better than deserve? What's up so I gotta get quick question for you my wife and I were twenty eight domino nor feature pursued Ass, we bring home around eight thousand dollars a month. I discovered you september. Last year I sold my truck that was paid off for thirty two thousand page my student loans and hurryings sallies us. What about forty five hours? I was glad to see the wound and these are our on

good for your heading in the right way, joss and main welcome to the gang. Thank you and I'm excited to to be in this journey, but I'm I have a little bit of a problem in were last year my parents announced they were getting a divorce and my father, told me, I'm now responsible for the sixty thousand impossible, there may be to payment on it. In six years, I've tried outcomes, some of them about it. Allowed you to a hospital defensively deferred the boy, I'm on stating that you never had anything to do with the loans in first place my mother handled everything with alone. I know none of your own, but every time I bring it up, it is always like you're, the one who at the school site, I do feel A little accountable was thoroughly conversation back then, that you made a contract.

with your dad and mom verbally to promise to pay this. Not to my knowledge we talked about. I don't believe so. show your mom and dad we're trying to help you out. They took out apparent plush long. Did you had no real isn't to believe you had to repay that until your dad decided later that you did is that the actual facts: correct? Okay? Alright, then it's on your dad. Okay. What should I add it to the snowball? I know it's, not your dad ok do you're trying to preserve a relationship like you again, your head Onawandah anonymous relationship up your dad has already done that. They're here one has chosen to take out his frustration with your mom on his son, right, whom you forget You put it s not year. Your aim to play this, not your mass, your mom did dash and I'm gettin ready her over that

because if he had a real drama that he should have settled in court, The big issue has he's, got a hundred forty thousand in it to anyone. I already yeah buyers disused out of his head, not his checking account to ok right, like you the makers of crazy trying to do dad on his money. He signed the loan or just your mom, there's a figure them than how did he added she? Do it. without his knowledge. If he signed up he literally and he said I'd- never seen a document about that. I wouldn't even know what it looks like that's between him and your mom, that's not between him and you right, yeah, absolutely now I thought you'd e endure this year, we're just it's: go there we're paying for part of it in your mom. I think your mom made a mistake, but there's a lot of mistakes in this story between your mom and dad

Oh, but I don't think it's yours, its ability to take on their mistake. Let pretend it wasn't alone. Let's just say she took money out of their joint checking account and just paid for part of your school. Would you have to pay that back? If you didn't have any knowledge that you're supposed to pay that back no same thing? That's all you in here Might equally I mean there's that issue there, your dad's changing the rules. You stranger revisit history here, but. More so reside rewrite history. He won't have a group, Man to man conversation with his son is a state trooper, hey all citizens. the table and say son. This divorces kill me. I don't have the money to pay sixty thousand dollars. I know in agreement with you I I can we really like you. do that he makes

who feel stupid and small because of a decision him and his wife made when you're were eighteen years old I didn't have any idea what I'll get into exactly right and I hate it for dude, because he's gonna make you the bad guy in this and you in it it's bringing she's in and my marriage in. I just your. Why thank you because you to pay it that's the issue here Yes and childlike? I married her well pray and by the way you're dead, as the one opting out a future holidays, not you they, they you reassuring the back of a mean yeah he's, while he's welcome at the behaviour of the corona decision, but if one. If you want to run away on sixty thousand dollars than we now know the value of your relationship with your son, sir. You think Are we not waiting? We now know the price tag at sixty grant right So this stand my ground and honest,

in the early years. You said you, if you told them, you were going to pay it we'd be sitting there telling you to pay it absolutely clear. Okay, I want to touch wanted you to change your language law, but I don't even know if it's a stand. My ground and walk away yeah. It is too early to tell the story. I lining more more value in the times plant my feet on a hill and I'm right die on that he'll. That's all as I'm get older or just getting smaller and smaller, and if so, wants to lie about me. They want to throw a debt While me that I don't oh, they want to take out their frustration about their failed marriage. On me, and I can't engage in that- I'm walking away, you know, have a good day. You have a good day. Sounds bad, but were jordan, your stuff group around her work. Most of us are gun, gosh and a bunch of us have done technical training and the

the thing we learned in tactical training is run, get out, don't engage. John wick is a movie. It's reality run a bullets hurt, run, get away, that's the first go and stood up. instead, then John wayne, John wick, whoever were not only to be John. We'll get guys like george, but take care of this right. Yonder, and that's that you know that's gonna. What johns that won't leave me. It's not only john the real john, but give you the demon asking another quick question europhile real fast, yet wrote that so we're bolted, between five hundred a month to our irish. I would point out that until you're out of that perfect, that's about it if you're temporarily, on your own baby step to you, stop all. Invest temporarily to collect totally focused singular! Go in Jordan, She's gonna be hard for you, your dad, because he's your dad and you can be sad and you can be kind. You can be strong, but you're not going to

convinced sham that you're right then you can do is pull back back, give him room while he's in this wounded. He's a wounded animal right now and on skim room, give room, someday you'll come around or he won't that'll be that will be on you, I'm sure your facing this for hard thing, but you don't have the money, sharp and Wife is right. This is around felicia. Not drawn the lonely rooms, your personality is my co host today January. The eleventh you and two hundred thousand of your closest friends can join us. So far, two hundred and twenty seven thousand people have signed up for the free lie I've stream, break the cycle. Doktor John baloney it warsaw.

If ramsey and rachel cruze george camel were going to help you break the cycle, did you know that stupid has a gravitational pull was going to make a joke about sit next to you, but I won't ha too late? You dearly, I don't know which one is the gravitational pull examiners stupid, but we'll go with that. So, either way it does it had it stupid will pull you back in and you have to break the cycle. It requires an effort to break in orbit. When you're in orbiting stupid, you know it takes energy to bust an orbit to bust out of an orbit and break free of the gravitational bulb, pull of something, and that's what break the cycles all about we're going to help you do that. It's time you can't blame the family curse anymore. You can't blame while people around me people in my neighbor,

pick. Now it you were gonna help you do it or to help you face the person in your mirror and go be the person you ve always dreamed. You should be increased, We're were walk you into that and held high here, go january, the eleventh go to ramsay solutions, dot com and sign up for break the cycle. It's completely. brie and I we're gonna be goin. A couple hours will settle in get some popcorn get some pizza get ready We're gonna do this and I it's gonna be an incredible podcast. They are our lives, dream, I'm you know we ve been reviewing all the material and putting it altogether for this, getting ready for about any days and are it's gonna? Be the largest live? when we ve ever done. It appears like we're. Probably gonna, have three to five hundred thousand folks watching this, that night, show come and join us we'd love to have you. It is completely free. There is no obligation. oh and we're gonna give away ten thousand dollars tin of you

a thousand dollars of the of the people, viewing not the people who sign up. The letter watching that night live we're going to give out, we're. Gonna show you how to do it that night and ten different people are gonna, get a thousand bucks shall ramsay solutions. Dotcom click break cycle logan's in lexington kentucky high logan. I warrior are you better than I deserve? What's up, real plans. Don't give you back story of warm at bay April, twenty my wife and I got married. poor got married. I had about thirty thousand dollars in my bank account she had bought. The knowledge that alone they say that they bear a car note pretty much we'll get married. I got off yet that our would to clear do. We then written an appalling.

but for a year and without a bureau spade ire do we have enough money to put down by the house last year, we had an opportunity present itself to home from a family friend a pretty well discounted grass. El below what the home. Now you was. We know that it was too much house or to the forty two hundred quietly three hundred bethink bow the malady go by the board at the time home buyer? So we didn't have any money but down zero percent down. So we got a six point. Two five percent interest and we knew it was going to be a lot, but we tried anyway. We lived there up until november of this past year. Merely mike listen paycheck to paycheck guideline armchair described one where justified. We can't do it anymore. If we want this to work and we do so end up in the house for sale fell behind. Since there are made for four hundred and fifteen

albums to one hundred thousand dollars more than we guy for in march. After realtor, etc, etc, would walk away with anything, about mars In the time that we lived in the home week, he might below the knowledge of the credit card debt. Updating the home was built two thousand and two, so it was very outdated and to try to get that ah Oh now, you have even more to sail it. We put them down in the the fire ensure for and dancing and new foreign and cetera today I have rather, EL, the knowledge and the buying pointed out about that. Seventy seven about olaf, a call We just found now increases the on christmas day that she's pregnant endeavour heart. Maybe I'm on twenty six and twenty five. have a corner for thirty seven thousand powers, while I want so

we have three vehicles terrified off one truck. It is not right up. There is doubt about what I want. the smarter internet. You go buy a thirty seven thousand our car after you just sold house because you couldn't breathe. Now I was twenty two thousand he's gonna? I for her car, already had already seven about our core long before what are you gonna make a year on thirty together. Good lord ok yeah. I guess however, I cannot. What can I do to take it? Didn't you blow your nose in it? That's what you did man, what can you, what can What more can we got? Fifty thousand dollars in the bank after you shall both cars and pay. Your capital gains are probably even we're out. Yet I don't know how much the cap will gain percentages. It's not a capital gains ordinary income casually moldova year showed up thirty five percent tax on the actual gain in the game.

It is not for fifteen the gaze after sales expenses and you probably did capital improvements on their credit card that that you can deduct as well. So you probably a seventy thousand dollar gang at thirty five percent public at twelve noon. act bill. You need to sit down the tax burden and figure out what that is, but it probably right around there. The. U cars. You can't afford an you But another one brought go so both of them. I am no you're right now. Are you now I would like in what am I doing here We live in our from art, both of us when we live grant furry now on our grandparents state, laboriously they passed away. They had a house that it wants. They also worth living here. Very so what does that mean you to be stupid with cars no I'm afraid and describe stupid cars, raw brass order founded Assad.

Fail mantra. Yes, yes I'll, be! Ok! Let's so the corridors about her. Ok, yeah brought people, man yeah you're broke. You may go thirty thousand dollars a year. And you made a series of bad financial decisions that have caused by broke The best way to do is go back to the last time you were standing on solid ground, which is when you had a couple of, monkey cars that were paid for Hundred thousand dollars cash in the bank rank that was a while back, but yeah yeah get. Let's get rid of both of these get the most get the best car. Can get for cash no and figure out what you're capital gains are. So the toy two thousand dollar car you bought her did you use the fifty thousand dollars cash that you go get alone on that now we we had seventy thousand the buying. Also, now you got the outer ire that car show that cars programme or the about what we have.

Cars are paid for, and one car that one true artwork is not ok about more cars or I ll go, and you didn't really trying to get rid of the truck and, finally, capital gains that that was my question. There ok caught up with you now the do you gonna quit buying crap you about twenty thousand or car. When you walk out of this disaster, you just came from it literally a mania. the exact conversation you just had about breaking the cycle you do you like we can breathing sellers house, we saw the house have got some money. but your bike are, let's get broken and then buy another car. This like, oh, I can't breathe again well. What are we gonna do now go sell the car and do this, and this gets more money. Let's go get it yeah. It's like thank god, it's friday, oh god, it's monday, yeah we're in this rent free house. Well, you know it's going to gab new floors and a new roof that are new. This was put on the credit card was paid off later. We don't even have a house payment. I think you could be debt free if you sell the truck and pay your capital gains and pay off the credit card and shop

and then you're gonna have to make a decision to never do the stupid crap you been doing for the past three years. You have to do a man when I want broke logan. I was your age I had to sit down and do an autopsy, a cs eye on Dave, and I looked at all the stupid, but stuff Dave was doing and had to go If you want to live like this, you can keep doing stupid but stuff our, stop doing stupid but stuff a better life while I'm yelling at because I love you, I want you to window this- was the ramsey show gotta, drawn bologna, ramsay personality, is michael host. Today, a guy These are just a couple. Weeks ago we had number one on apple podcast of all. Pod cash in the entire world is pretty cool. We ve been hovering up around ten eleven twelve. We ve been up its seven a couple times five

number one and we hit number one. I dont know where we are today. It changes I think daily or hourly or whatever, but we did make them milestone, and we want to say thank you to you guys constitute the did it. We appreciate your and I will ask you to continue doing what caused that will cause. That was more and more of you are sharing the show. We're taking a link to the show or clicking the share button. Your subscribing your following whatever the format is, whether it's youtube or local talk? Radio? illustration, you're telling people about whatever it is your letting people know you're leaving Star reviews sharing. Thank you for doing that, and please keep doing it. It is the Biggest thing you can do to say. Thank you to us and help us if you like. What's your hearing share, it tells them by about it if you like, currently without our review. Thank you. You don't go somewhere else. It's ok, winter is not evident, not we're not for everybody, but We are for folks that want to change their lives, want to learn something and that once

people to tell the truth that love em and were those people we care about. We want you to win an that's cheesy, it's also real I thank you for hanging out whether we appreciate the subscriptions. We appreciate the follows we appreciate the nice reviews, and we appreciate the sharing nick asean lemme Oh hi, nick our you. Dave, and how are you guys doing better than we deserve? What's up man. So I was wondering if you guys could possibly give me some more the wisdom or thoughts on my wife returning to school. What she going to study so she is looking at studying dentistry The right now she is a dental hygienist is making about. forty thousand dollars a year. I must see p I make about seventy five thousand a year but now we have seven

thousand dollars and student loans that that's my degree. what she didn't, namely she did she I have you price the dental degree, in ohio. There are only two dental schools I state, which is the cheaper of the two and I say cheaper than quotes, is going to. Those cost right around four hundred thousand dollars. That's pretty typical toe we're looking to cash flow. Somehow The problem we running into is you know where projecting italian. Take about two years policy still pay off the rest of my dad and then another half year they don t be fun. Whatever, and then

I will be over about two and a half years worth of savings, projected after the dental school, in order to actually cash flow. The whole thing with just my salary: I'm confused how you pay off thirty five thousand a year for two years, but in two more years during a foreigner grant. No, we would cash flow out. Of the dental school years, though we would save up two hundred too. the idea and you're gonna borrow the other two hundred. No a cash flow as she goes Gonna try and cash flow, and she goes so pretty much. We wanted start until we The two hundred thousand saved up so much a question Our question is, would it be worker to do it? no she's. Only thirty years old ones starts and we're lookin out.

Thirty five year old, graduating battle school. Why doesn't matter my mongrel, with her phd at fifty seven years old and was tenured by the time she was sixty three, you pay cash for it, she's going to be making dentist money depending on what kind of dental practice she gets into the next thing. Your faces a want to buy a practice and that's another. Five hundred to four hundred. the big challenge. The question is: not, is it worth the school and not getting out until she's thirty? The question refers. Are thirty five? The question is: you're gonna be thirty five, if you want to be a dentist when she's, thirty, five or now, but math care about. Your timeline. What what? Why does she want to be a dentist? panama, threefold question Well, she's water for a few and his doesn't always

I agree with a lot for she. Gonna want to do her own thing. She wanted to be a dentist. Originally, but what kind of afraid to do that, commissioner, then, by ashes work in the actual field. She feels like being benefits would be a good thing for her is there any chance. Somebody in the practice would sign here to a five year deal and pay for dental school for her pause war. I'm not sure how many small, clinical around here would go for that, but there might be one around here that be willing to so here's what you ve done, real, quick, you ve put some constraints shit. when a work at a big. She wants work at a small one. She we want to cash flow, but she doesn't want to be a dentist all the way till she's thirty five. She wants to get it sooner. it, is I don't that yoga? makes a sacrifices somewhere there can we really hard you're? Probably another job. The PA only making seventy five renamed to double your income somewhere, and that might mean you do corporate

acts are you gonna take on a bunch of saturday and sunday private clients, although she scorned earns ohio state you're moving to columbus. probably in between she would conclude someone, then I would commute somewhat work were not too far away from Columbus yeah children. We have two alone: one is a year and a half and the other is five month. There's no harm in getting on this path. The! U dont, passed the point of no return until she actually starts dental school. Until then, you're just paying off debt and saving money we can get on that path and then the question. I guess I want you guys to ashcombe. Couple pretty regularly, as I don't want her to go through all this rob four hundred k under this and then such before my mom after?

to not lady m days, I've talked to people in different kinds of situations that that you know they their their dream, shifted about what they say their life being after they were already show far down the rabbit hole on the education stuff. And so it's not to say she can't be a dentist. I didn't I'm not saying because she's feeling, She can't be it in his cause. She's a mom cabotage, gambie addison, make sure really four hundred thousand dollars worth assure that she's gonna play. the way through and work Most of our life as a dentist, because that's that This is for you're gonna go she's gonna work twenty five years as a dentist. When she comes out till she sixty and every day going to work as a dentist every day. That's her job and then they took the shower awash, but otherwise the hundred k is absolutely ludicrous,

to spend that and then not work. You know twenty years plus in the field is ludicrous, I think, there's a valuable exercise and yell to making a very committed debt payment plan. Off your student loans and see if that fire in that excitement in that desire, still there. eighteen months or twenty four months, if you're willing to cash flow, and she's willing to stick with it, I'm ok with it in its own. It's not a bad life plan. I run and too many people who get too far. This and then realize. Oh, I don't think I won't do that. This is not. This is not going to six months of ten thousand dollars worth of certificates on Johnson. And then deciding you, don't want to do it that this is not a big chunk of your life and four hundred thousand dollars worth of sure. You gonna be

sure and it's a major commitment, in other words, shall in the Some of you are getting out of debt and building up the first two hundred organ. Ask that question overnight, again or vigour. Your calculations childcare for two little kids for the next three four five seven years of cost. A lot too This is the rams from the rachel crews. Here now. Most of us know what we should do with our money, but actually doing it. Well, that's a whole front story. That's why important to create good money habits on january eleven, our team here ramsay solutions is hosting a free life stream where we can look at the habits you need in your life? If you want to be successful with money, gonna, ramsay solutions, dot, com such break, the cycle to register for free, Ramsey solutions, dot, com, slash break the cycle, don't miss it

doktor john aloni ramsay personality is Michael vote. Today, spencer is in you Jeanne or again, if I can figure how to get the right button here? Arrogance, spencer, in eugene, oregon, high spencer. How are you even john. How are you guys better We deserve my what's her affection, I wanted to run a question by you guys. My wife and I have been married for about eleven years ago levin years I've been working at the fire fighter, paramedic for about eight of them. My wife recently brought to my attention that she struggled with certain aspects of my career to the point where she is thought to ask me to do. Curse careers. She struggled with a thought of that because she knows how much I absolutely love my job. What I do and where work as well as how well it pays where a large family he's afraid that I would resent her if I were to leave my career and it would be the hardest thing that I've ever done to shirt

it would have no idea what I would do at my entire educational career has led me to the point where, at now you want to explore options for countless and possibly help or through what she struggling with before we act. The option of a clear change, but we don't know where to start. We don't know we want calculating or individual gap. When we're just looking for somebody which of your job is not like. What part does she not like she had a really hard time being alone, especially at night. The kindest indeed the primary provider on the day that I'm at work. We have four and one of them has some health problems, and it is just a kind of overwhelming for her that to be the primary the loan provider while I'm gone, yes, I have a hard time dismissing them or me missing. Damn activities and holidays every so often as was just all the baggage that comes with the types, the call that we run at the video e yeah so

I have a feeling. The talk to me grew up in a law enforcement household and firefighter household, and I had a feel number tell me like every day, your dad goes to work. I have to wonder: if he's going to come home, then that that fear is very real. That's not what I'm hearing here and so on, because here's the deal I'm youtube renewed and aus Edina students before that and before that, I worked at burger king all three of those jobs have had to miss some holiday stuff. All three of those jobs had to work really late and missed. A couple of this is: isn't ass, that's life, so much where is your and to quit this thing, and this magic, airy life on the other side of this is not going to be real serbs, and so I will not even bankers- cape bankers hours now, that's right now and so

I would strongly suggest you're gonna gather at the beginning. Let's parse through what this is, because it sounds like somebody who is growing increasingly uncomfortable for any number of reasons with the life that she has an is beginning to look out in the crowd to see who can shoulder that with her and you're the nearest sky. That makes sense and when you're sitting at home- and you got one kid that sick and you get thriller kids at a bird in the house down and make as Dave's that turkey is not a real good metaphor, for my man has a fireman thrill, ease use another examples, you create a story where it's the job ripe. If she told me in a what

of about this call. Those spencer is your wife being show mature that she's a recognising the how much you love what you do and be saying hey before we make a big age. Let's get some council, it might be meant much look at our own gosh, that's so selfless and mature on her part. Also, that gives me great I hope that you guys can find some ground that may make a few minor adjustments sharer there, to meet some of those needs that she's got an then that help her make sure the rest of the way, because I got to the way she's approaching this the way. You described her was very mature. Very cool. I really like her a lot about me too. I'm EF I married up, she said but in my will end up, but here's the deal life around with you guys in the van did you merely when she talked to you and you,

the computer to see what other jobs available are needed and that in that makes you equally mature, also you guys, are willing to sacrifice for each other. You have the recipe for an incredible relationship. forward, regardless of whether you stay in this or not, I think you'll find the british diana and shall find a way to work with part of hearst and you will find a way out. Ok, I can do the second. I can make sure, with my seniority level. After years on the force that are in the firehouse that I'm home on these dates I can plan around that and a minor example. It's not it's not exactly parallel spencer, but when, We were starting all the stuff with that. We now call ramsay my days sixteen our days. I missed everything: colonel tat users about two years no single mom, and I worked all the time. Get this thing going of polish thing up. My chair,

right an arm. We worked all the time, and so when we finally get that same wall, a similar discussion, we said on which an ok I gotta have some non negotiable show. After that we never booked alive event on a kids birthday. We never took any speaking gigs ever on around here What I shot him miss any christmas in miss any problems: admission, kids, birthdays after that to your period and me. Coming back towards her were adjusting my business. You know too, to be able to still be a husband and adapt right and then in the it's to that that gave her the route that gave her the strength to take up, whatever slack there still was, which are still was and she became a really zero maintenance person from that point forward, The reason we ve been able to build a school incredible live, shut out is really you're willing to reach towards her with some adjust she's willing to reach towards you ya, can reset a few thing sharer there. I really

you can find this, but I am because the way your approaching it, I think, you're gonna, be ok. I think the key with it with the counsellors. Gonna be really pull apart the specifics, what are the specifics? Can we hire some weight? It comes indent, four, p m to six p m the just dealt with at times in dumps for dinner. Upon cleanup, that's easy: can we do something on saturdays? Can we make christmas today's early every year, and not just our funding, we do together as a family, there's there's ways rounded, if you got to rio, you spend some of the money you're earning to create a life that becomes tolerable in sustainable, that you want yeah yeah, that's what john saying, and so that's help with a sick child. That's you know a high quality woody nanny two days a week. I don't care what it is, but on the somebody is that your golden somebody's their help in their phelan it, and that be worth it took doing what you're doing that, you love so much

and she won't be worried about whether you resent her because it's not her, she tried it. You know she's a single mom when you're gone, that's what you're, saying and on and that's a shame thanks and she was right. You know little very real think so I good question man shall a good p. well, I think you're gonna find a way through that for sure and again I think it's a largely because the way you're broaching it. She didn't stop in red. Faced and scream you ve quit your job. I can't stand it You didn't say no, I'm an entrepreneur or I'm a fireman. This is who I am sorry that you now you know it you married and that's not helpful either. No. Instead, you wretch your both saying. I'm willing to give up a patient hu. I am to help you be who you are right and that that's that's called marriage. I think yeah- and this is one of those were those weird things you when you see somebody you talk some expensive his in his amazement that it feels like wheels or fallen off than those of us who

been through this and on their side of that go on. Oh yes, your car struck a great man like you did that it's the terrain, it's rough, it's not the car and it feels like all I think we're going to crash you're, not gonna crash, yellow to yellow doing good. You forgot your way out through this is very smart to do that, because the career, mental health the money page, the wealth building peace, there all woven- gather in a way you cannot pull them apart. It's almost impossible to build, when you have a crummy marriage, it's almost impossible to have a great marriage when your current, when you hate your job all the time. All these things work together show the doktor, John bologna, the ramsay show the can com and show these things all the stuff. We talk about the portions of your life. They are woven together in a very real way. that puts us our the ramsay show in the book. The the

law from other quarters, ramsay solutions which the rams asia, where we got people build well do work, but they love and create actual amazing relationship. Like you for joining us america doktor John D, lonely rooms. Personality is Michael vote today, open phones, a triple eight, eight to five five, two to five thank you for joining us jesse is in lantern starting off the shark jesse, our you thank you for taking my card on our you better than I deserve. What's up there,

husband and I have read that common make over and we worked diligently to get out of debt and thankfully, now we've paid off our debts and we own our home. We are now in the process, thank you, but it was actually through the book a gun to mean anything to you, I'm, but for now, in the process of looking its wealth building, and because of that I've been looking at a castle from video from both the link and I've been noticing A recurring theme among a lot of these very well known people and its, but the youth, these crazy everybody has preen up either. the government make one or you make one yourself, and I have always been someone that things very negatively or its green up might have been an eye when we were married granted me we're broke, but we always felt that the word divorce was out of the question and that, if your even fearing a prima in your opening yourself up to the possibility of a divorce

in your opinion, as a christian as somebody who is wealthy, what is your perspective on premiums, especially in the in the christian? so it's more in theory, because it obviously done applaud you all workers act, but I guess the reason that I'm asking is because I I it kind of helps me into learning. Are these people that I should get advice from like well believe is the people that I should be listening to I don't know who you're listening to and don't tell me, but I typically what happens I end something like that is a financial person is the financial people and a legal people Both are the world's worst, and I had to break myself of this. When I start doing, the share were years ago, are the world's worst at looking at I've through only one linz, ok you're asking She threw a relational lends a spiritual lines and away. building and legal lands.

Their only looking at it for wealth protection. If a few could live a life which you can't Wealth protection was separated. From your relationships and was separated from your spiritual walk, you can't, but if you could, preen up would be a slam don't and in their minds. Therefore, a up is a slight slammed on because they only see it through. That lends does not make sense, so I wouldn't necessarily discredit them for all of their advice is somehow being here. a sea or something like that. I would just say who are your listening to his only looking at the advice or giving through a singular, lend our approaches, we believe, that personal finance is eighty percent behaviour and we ve proven that it's not about math, and it's not about that stuff. So our approaches is that the pre actually could end up stunting

growth because you're not all in on working together the show I first in order that you're gonna first are the show I was a hundred percent. Never get a pre prenup under any circumstances, don't get married. If you love your stuff more than you love her period. Just don't do it! That's how I started. now, having done this a long time I have one caviar that I've added about a decade ago to this- and that is if too, people are getting married. One of has extreme wealth, urgent. Extreme difference, like. I had one guy. Who was marrying a lady who had ten million dollars needed, have two nicholls? Ok, I suggested a prenup to them up. Keep their relationship pure about relief? kinship and not about money and the big

Reason I suggested them is my now. Exe it's thirty years later has been. The prenup in that case is not really for that couple. It's for all the weirdos and their families. because all of a sudden, crazy mother in law, swoops in from the other side, wants the ten million dollar golden goose shows up and you look it! Then you got a little piece of paper You look at our ngos, sorry MA gotta preen up can't do nothing, and so it gives them a d. Its mechanism against crazy on their family cos One thing we know about wealth is magnifies everything, and that includes crazy show When you got crazy members in your family, you marry ten million dollars, dad gum she comes out. You know so in that, case. I did recommend a pre up, an extreme differences, for ninety nine percent of people just regular folk, gettin married I had one lady call me at one time is at her boyfriend had a night

sixty eight frame up restoration me. Staying and he wanted a pre up. and you know my answer that don't mary, this bozo a love his car more than you. You know that it's not that's! That's the answer to that and that's not You know that might not jive with these other gas podcast arrears, your listening to, but most of the time I agree with where you're coming from jesse, and that is the pre up, is simply plan. the divorce in advance. How offered to duplicate the marriage agenda in divorce. No, they don't know it out. Not when you got people with four year degrees, not when you take people who regularly attend a house of worship, not when you take out people who, though, the parents on neither side were divorced. When you take those statistics, almost ninety percent of people miracle emerge, work out year after year, older in twenty two years old and you didn't have a baby before marriage, you can take these things out by a bomb. And boom success rate.

urge goes way up. You make it. Thousand dollars a year or more household income. You didn't have a baby, but marriage. You didn't get married in high school. You know all these you take all that crap out about a ninety percent survival rate of marriages show that fifty two percent figure includes all bunch of other crap go on a people who work gonna make it anyway. She can't use fifty two. marriages and in divorce. I really don't Jesse I'm an ass day of a question on your behalf that goal today, libya, third category here tell what you think about this: a fifty five you're old has done pretty well, not extreme wealth Alice, passes away, marries a fifty seven year old, I'm pretty well spouse passes away both have kids, have cousins is it makes sense in that situation again to protect from family and, if you wanted to, but you ve just got to be very careful because it's you you're entering you're, you're trying to say the stuff

the distribution of the stuff is more potent and this relationship a man that dangerous it. So if you don't have it it's! Basically, if you don't have an exit ramp, we've got to figure this out yeah, we are figured out yeah a good mean if you don't trust her to leave your bible to your shot from the first marriage? My mom died they dont then don't marry her right. You know that's what I'm saying, and so there's a whole thing that goes into play here, but yeah by and large, antiquary. Not that would do because believe your plan in your divorce later Can I rubble and it's it's cheapens the whole affair and puts a dollar figure to it. and I just I'm not doing that now, if there's extra, Therefore, like us, where there's a few times, it's ok, you talk about it, but it's It's a dangerous thing like for the question is a good one. No secret. We love a good deal here, Ramsay, which is why I don't want you to miss this one right now,

new pre order. My new book breaking free from broke. You get a hundred dollars worth of bonus items for free, I'm talkin e book on you and I and enhanced audio book all completely free and I'll chock full of what you need to know about credit card schemes to investing traps to mortgage myths, to building wealth. All the researchers there, the offer and january fifteenth so do not wait. Gonna, ramsay solutions, dot, com, slashed or that's ramsay solutions, dot, com, slash, store, Doktor John bologna ramsay personality is my co host today: open phones, a triple eight to five five to two Lee is in cleveland ohio highly. How are you. hi, I'm good how you better than deserve. What's up quick question, my parents. They are entering their seventies and throw that is the important part They call him a meeting with me and my sister, the three of us all, and they,

one to know. What are the thoughts were on. They leave their basically financial behind whether it be a will or trust and or not one we didn't expect them to even once our days, because you know it's very but now that there are in not really sure what direction the goat? mentioned a will and estate state its lot. The latter have a lot of money on yeah the number they said, yeah yeah, it's a lot of what's alot much man, just south of five million at all Well, that's all very cool, not a lot for the three girl show you guys are going to get over a million a piece when they both die and there chronicle him that I welcome

I do not have any federal state tax. What state are they in ohio? Ok, you need to find out what the probate taxes in ohio I suspect, like it is in most states that the best thing that there is a simple will, typically What will happen in a situation like that would be We call a mirror image will where they did they, both through the exact same will accept the names or changed his will would say everything goes to her unless dot together, and then everything goes to the girls three ways. Ok and her will win. Exactly the same thing, everything goes to husband unless we die together and Everything goes to the girls three ways. Okay, so it's not a snake adventure, because its cut haste right, you do, one will cut and paste the mirror image will

There is no again there's no federal state tax on a state of five million dollars. The probate is a tax to run it through the problem and you'd have to find out what it is in ohio, but I would not go to the expense of a trust russia is typically going to run. You three to five thousand dollars to have an attorney. Do it and you don't need it, there's no made for it without that was the other question. Their intent with on the momentum to trust, is to make sure of that, it is protected. So, like all three of us, girls are married, a mile authorities, and they just want to make it, though it and obviously none of us hope plan for divorce, but to make sure it protected fur longevity sake and nodded or if you have the use of the money, it's going into your name: it's not protected, insulted sitting overnight,

and you can't touch it then its protected, but that silly need to have the use of it. They will want to if it were a trust they would want, after all, be I'll, tell you why I wouldn't managers. I wouldn't do that. Please don't do that like live off interest. Up to now the other thing you can check on it and again the law will change from state to state and not on tunisia. things, you need to look at. You need to learn about this, find out what the probe, Tax in ohio is ok, and in most states- and I think this is true Oh, but you need to verify it if you were left, a year and a half dollars from your parents? And three years later, you went through a divorce. The judge award that money to you in most states. Now, not them. It's the that it it came from your side of the family. It doesn't, he doesn't autumn

Quickly get it now. Ah, you know it is a period of if two years went by than there may be a different thing. Ok before you got divorced, but You know. A few years out, five or ten years something like that in most states, you're goin I'm just going to cover that and something that came from you know somewhere else obviously, was your money, it be like if you married some one without a premium. we're talking about a minute ago, and you brought money under the marriage and then you get a divorce shortly thereafter, you're gonna take money out of the marriage in most states, some states different common launched up, but in I want to learn about that to be a hundred percent sure, but by large are really wouldn't over. Complicate this for a million and a half dollars sure, ok, commitment. I would keep my life pretty clean and simple bungler learn about it, and so you can address their concerns and by the way that also means

probably ought to talk to an estate planning attorney or to be they haven't lawyers, and so they were kind of running through the option than or running after the option by way of the lawyers just did that were planning there's no company. They have layers that will make it a drug that those two issues than that. I'm talking about probate ducts. and whether or not you are protected in the event of a? which, without a trust, I trust trust unless you ve got up, you know a hundred million dollars to twenty million dollar fifty manners. It's a lot so cumbersome to deal with there's some estate planning reason or a state tax reasons to do that when you get up, of twenty million right now. But by prior that I would keep my life as simple as I could. If I were you gosh and I'd be weary of an attorney trying to pr push of a trust on you just because it can make an extra five thousand dollars. Yeah and some other people in the estate planning world do that there there there they owe you

drug to avoid bab. Now by the nato trust? You really don't you, you really really dont made one that often show a good question. Thank you for joining us. Michelle isn't dayton, ohio, high machine Oh, how are you dave. How are you better than I deserve? What's up long story short, I am- I lost my mom to about two years ago to covered heard- I live together and my whole life, but the last twelve years, we roomed together and cause her and my dad separated, and I honestly feel, like the last the first year, I was numb the last year of the kind of their living and survival mode, and one very sore I did stupid about a month ago and I went out and traded in my car, for a new one, and I realize pretty quick. It was dumb. I was kind of stressed out and I was going to a box and my mom stuff and

half of it was a book there, Never seen before it was rachel cruises know, yourself, know your money Where did reading that occurred, turned me onto your guard. The show again, my mom was big, you guys here and there, but I guess what I'm where, now, as I need to get out from underneath this car, but I'm not really sure what to do I feel like. I need to sell it. I don't have anything but student loans in and the car payment by its pretty much taught my budget out and unlike what, if something happened, my rent raises- or you know crazy stuff like that- that I should have thought about before I did it But I guess where am I just don't know how to you know, what's that to take to get out from underneath this car. I know obviously saying it's probably the best that, but I'm pretty sure He gave it up the law and the no more than what it's worth and I'm just trying to get some advice on what to do and where to start without or your driving her, for I have

I had a twenty twenty. He s borders. it herded infernally one. How much did he give you four look here. I was underwater on that about a thousand bucks, so I put twenty five hundred down with what I gave me that putting about a thousand five hundred down open on the car, so I the car thirty thousand dollar, note thirty, one thousand! Actually the new make I'm just gonna, the job I'm working for the government, so I'm making about fifty thousand a year. You you're right. You do need to show it. My what you ve been through, get alongshore dealt with big time. grieving instruct purchase one it yeah yeah, I don't I This is not a temporary moment of intended, but at the same time it's kind of europe I would go along the power in the day about a month ago.

And talk to the dealer and see if you can, how big a check you got a right to get out of it. Okay, that's the first thing if the czech sounds unreasonable check what the coral shell for and you're gonna have to cover the bridge the whole that you're on your right, you're upside down again, and gonna have to go, buy something super cheap, that you can pay cash for and scrape together the money to cover the difference to get out of this thing, but you're right, you need to undo this and the sooner you undo it the better, because every day you drive it it's going down in value even more. This is the ramsey show hague folks, doktor, John bologna here, do you feel dressed out an anxious every time you think about your money. If so I want you to know that you don't have to stay stuck there on january eleventh hour, team is hosting a free, live stream event where you can learn exactly what's keeping you stuck with your money and you can get up and to make real change.

good, ramsay solutions, dot, com slush break, the cycle to register for free, that's, ramsay, solutions, dot, com, slash break the cycle doktor John, a ramsay personality is my co host he's also the author of the number one best selling book building a non anxious life. Our latest number one but shall hear ramsay and you want to be able to check it out in lobby of ramsay solutions hanging out with us on the stage anthony from link esther pennsylvania. I anthony aria good. How are you better than I deserve. How can we help? Russia does have a question? How do I get my nineteen year old stepdaughter to follow the ramsay plan and pay for college cas when she says she? Let her future self worry about the debt your nineteen year old? deb daughter, your wife's daughter. Yes, ok, Although we all been married, ten and a half years show you when she was nine, yes and she said, problem for future me.

awesome, wow. Who can I just take a guess here that the other parent is full The ticket at every loan go get em, maybe go so dad her dad is saying. Probably the future so show. Well, the threat that the couple things the pop into my head and john your problem, maybe Just a lot more than may understand can like a dad unless there's a fractured rely ship. Your wife is gonna, have a better chance of having this conversation than you, because you're, by definition, the step that unless you're the only he row in the whole story with this kid that you ve got me

Credibility than her actual to parents would be nice if she'd listen to your wisdom, but you're, probably odd man out. so what we ve got to do is get somebody in front of the coalition to so that's first, what I'm looking for Is who shoes she most likely to hear from an whoever that is, I'm gonna school them just as a dad. This is Dave that I add one thing's for artist times for me and parenting was when my kids grew up and I couldn't home what to do any more its piss me off Because I was a lot easier when I could just tell him what today is its aim. Now there are thirty and forty years out much still can't on what the damage it awful. I can him tone what did it with a grandkids? It's awful, so I've had learned to not use my dad voice. My only shot at dealing with a quote grown up. in this case a nineteen year old, is to speak to them.

If they were someone else's kid and I was trying to persuade them black. If one of my buddies kid was gonna, do I would sit down and I would use different voice and my dad voice say you know. I love you and let me what. You threw because I love you. I think this is stupid and why I think it stupid for you done affair. Me you get through whatever you want to do, but wonder, no maturity. Honey is learning to delay pleasure and this little future self thing you ve said is an indication you're acting like or for, and that's what I would tell one of my friends kids, but as if they were collar on the show you know, but it's may using my dad voice cousin. Still she hears anything other than persuasion as a technique: she's gonna click off and move on, even if she is physically sitting there. She quit listening. I I he's exactly right. I think it's important for you to know

you and your wife Here's what our rules and boundaries are for our money and how support or not support, and then walker like he said. They get that conversation. I have found it really helpful when parents own up to things they have done when they put things off to future self. and humanizes you a little bit and as part of the persuasion you're having an adult to adult conversation. Even though she's nineteen and you know she's every bit a child is as she wasn't, she was sixteen. I k I did this one time may not work, but at least you become more credible instead of just this pointing finger and say, aren't gonna atwater car I couldn't afford, and I thought future self would worry about it right and I did sleep a lot and it tore me up, and I got mixed up my credit in it, shut me back and ensure the fat actual decisions are made. That help me back, and I just don't want that pain for you, because I love you, you know

There is also going to be a strange thing that happens and you'll probably dealt with it. Her whole life is, if you one paris- and I think you should do this. dinner's a loyalty thing that gets really dicey and really weird, and so sometimes the greatest gift you can say is. I think we are made A mistake on these is the right move. I love you and I'm gonna be here when you get back and I've got a plan for it, a palace mess off. I don't is the right thing, but that weird loyalty thing that they feel like if they're doing something, even if it's better for them and they know it that are being disloyal and somehow unloving to the other parent like this, situations messy it's its messy ass, wide import yalta, to get your boundary straight, we're gonna for your first semester college, but it's come at this for this or we can put this money on the table, but you can't borrowed down few bar dime you're out. I don't you are opting out of this money whatever I'm not. I've got twenty thousand already put torture college, but it's not there.

If you're doing you take out alone, you're opting out of my money and because I am not going to support you in doing something this harmful to you. I love you too much, I'm not going to buy your drugs if you're a heroin addict and I'm not going to participate in something, I think is a mistake and harmful to you not because I am greedy and not because the money is yours, but it's not yours to do harm with, because I love you too much and this any here this man, if your participating for not participating in the in the college, education at all, then you're sure way, trying to persuade right- and I like putting the onus on them, because what it nineteen year old will do is when you say, I'm not gonna put giving you any of this college money. If you, if you take out alone than men, you're the bad guy you're withholding you'd want me to get educated. You don't love me, but when you say hey nineteen year old europe and out of this money right here. The terms of this money are excellency your opting out your grown up. You get to do that.

More thing would be in our case with our when they were in school, if they were going I misbehave in other ways, while at school and they weren't going to make grades while at school they're opting out, I'm not I'm not going to pay for I'm not playing for you to go. Pay play beer pong you put your campaign for you to go, get an education, and this is not your time to party and daddy pace for screw. That You know, and so we have these conversations early and often, as I sent checks into the thing, but this is it this. This money is contingent. My love is not contingent the stream of money coming at your college experiences contingent in. They get to decide where that money keeps coming die their behaviour. They show your opting in or opting out if you guys are participating, that's the thing on there. but I think the thing is: is it just a mistake and we ve got? We got forty four million people in america. Little teller, it's a mistake. They got student loans out their union.

and they came breathing there waitin on the president to mysteriously make it go away and he's not a camp and he won't, and so is it. It's a mistake, and when you any time, usually the future me that just means I want I something now and I'm being a four year old on the cereal aisle having a fit cause. I want fruit, and so it's acute say Now I like her, it makes me feel it's gonna, it's kind of funny, but I'll. Let the future me deal with that. That's kind of funny she's got she's, got moxie, but we saw it through a lot at you, what you think you're right, we had x amount. of money that we had that we said we would give. If she stated if she could have used that for four years, but she decided the dorm and all that's been used the first year and we said we're not going to co sign for any lands yeah. Ok! So you she used up the money, even though she went a direction you should to do and now achieving gone further and we're not co shining the lunch so now, she's gonna have to be out of school, that's sad or shall have to go to.

local community college and go for free depending on what state you live in right right. Heaven forbid then, gets a great option for families yeah right option, but well yeah you, you gotcha, so you're for it we're further into this than I realized. I don't know why I thought a nineteen year old minority in school. I was thinking that we cut. No- but I I I mean this- is a beautiful opportunity for you to show ears with the account was there's no dollars left his empty now now used it in kind of man made a mistake, allowing you to do that and I'm not going to make another one by shining for you for sure and if you need a co, signer you're up a creek. So while, but she probably doesn't need a cosigner We're just gonna. Keep rockin last depends on what school zen expensive private school. Now it's a public school political, both are all expensive. Now so much I bet lucky man reset your question. I wonder I wish I had a magic wand and make them go away. That's some thoughts for you. parents out there one guy

I called him said my daughter told me he she's going to the school. That is where it ended at the ramsey's, because we did the telling they didn't do that. It's like a similar causes, as my eleven year olds, addicted to their ipad as other. Not you keep paying into. You won't take Why did you have no spine, this ramsey show our scope so that a proverb, seventeen, seventeen, a friend, loves at all times and a brother is born for a time of adversity. Mother teresa says some people come into your life as a blessing other, become into your life as lesson mentors in theirs and time into hers. I think

and the blessing for you Dave. That's it that's it. I knew it when I got up this morning and said: that's it John, Dr John, is my blessing he's a blessing bless me. You are my adversity, Well, I everybody's gonna have a gift. Daniele is in new loudon connecticut high daniele. How are you well hurry. You better deserve. What's up so kind of in a me in my marriage, where I'm trying to figure out. If I should be coming and going we side twin, two years ago and I think that there was just some a lot of unrealistic expectations of having kids together.

the four from him to me and dumb. He was just very disconnected from them the first year and a half, so he started connecting with them through counselling, and it's almost like you have to Lee. I guess it's there. no! No! No! I don't those feelings anymore, and it's like the more suggestion counselling comes up with the more it almost like. cringing like I'm like I don't. I don't want to do that. You know maybe a few, We did this that the other you know, maybe eighteen bottles ino, here. I would have gone How d you know accepted to want to go on a d or ex wisely, but I'm just aye. Sir, are you don't know you are you? Are you leaving her marriage? I'm pretty castilla air

well, I've got from this call. Is your husband did not do a good job, during the first year and a half of, having twins dropped in the house and because of that here like he is trying to work on it and fix things in your saying. No, your punishment for those first. Eighteen months is I'm out an assent, the air? sounds like you're out of the marriage, and this has been I'm a great exit strategy for years laurie that allows you pass in your mind, telling you then his hand there. Okay! So what's your question, I guess I'm not trying to guess. Leave, like you said, it misses out exactly what you're doing, and I understand that. But what I'm just

into advisers what else can I do at this point? If I know we're trying with me, something I see the connection now he's building with our kids, I just Dont know how to keep trying I think you know how to keep trying. I don't think you want to hear here's the deal. And build something completely new and sounds like he is really trying to build something new and ear to standing there there in the rubble- and you d want to pick up a hammer in your way, for that, hammered, feel right, never gonna feel right. The feelings will follow the action. So either you decide to go all in bigger this thing out or I'm gonna.

stop suffocating everyone house with. I don't know I'm just waiting for, like you said, I'm saying I understand doing thing. I think you ve gotta fight, your marriage. In the same way, he seems to be fighting for your marriage. What am I missing? A lot more pieces, but for this short synopsis in You think he said I just got used to doing everything on my own in so now that someone now coming around trying to help it's just a feels like it up at the point How long is this going to last, because that kind of happen before it's just I'll. Do this for a little bit and then it stopped. You'll get your parents divorced, Yes, how old were you when your dad left.

maybe ten other use your pistol him. Violent and I ve no hard feelings. any of my parents bull, you Asked me a question because I really don't like honour: I can help going what what telling me is, is a very sick be feelings. I just don't feel like now. If you came out said no, do is abusive, do cheated army a lot. and he's trying to weasels way back in the liver conversation, boy, No. We have very compressed time, though, you tell me right now. Is had to do a lot of work to first eighteen months, because he was off working when I had twins- and I killed me

and now I got used to doing things alone, and I don't want his help anymore, and so I'm just going to divorce him. That's what that's what I'm hearing? I can't be right. That's it I we both work. So it's not just bad he's working, we both are working during this adjust. He just bentley disconnected from Helping me raise our two kids. You know he has other to kid I got your felicity. Those yesterday were here today. Ok, so let's make a choice about today. If you're gonna leave your marriage, because your husband is trying to make things right, and learn a new way of helping and, admittedly suck the first eighteen months and he's tried his best and you're like I wrote it myself You have to own that decision.

If you're gonna leave him over that, then you ve got on that decision. I don't. I feel like I'm missing something. But I'll say that if you're trying to heal a marriage at any level of it being broken, the same as if you're, trying to get in shape the same as if you're trying to get out of debt. If you wait for Feel right: you're, never gonna! Do it You have to just take wild action in the door. Action of the thing you want to be different. That's losing weight with its getting out of debt, whether that saying I'm gonna fight to the death for this frickin marriage, an uses up the last two years and we're gonna make this right. I mean it of that. It's just going to be. This doesn't feel good and then, by the way, you look runner. Culture were feeling to death culture. Wait for everything to feel the right. There is not is not designed to get that way. Do you gonna run like wild in the dark?

you know what you want, which is an amazing marriage and some help around the house into awesome. Kids with two great pair, and then you're going to wake up when they realise this feels really awesome. But that choice is yours. I can't make it for now. I know I appreciate it like a dave. Ah, I wanna know or missing gun opinion, but its harsh shoulders keep it. I would like to america to see the dave ramsey is maturing yeah. I think this is important stuff in the show's evolution yeah. Well, I'm I don't want to sit beside a phd in lincoln have counseling ideas. It's about, I dunno bring it bring it about. I do, I think, she's still pissed at her dad. I'm just been pop psychologists, though.

and so the first time her husband, screwed up. She transferred it undisputed over yeah she's moved over here, and so this is. This is our way of hitting back at her dad, but I'm I'm really reaching here. Yeah is that possible, I think your body puts a pen in that pain and you wait for it. for it goes there is there is somebody's? Not We're supposed to do, I am out some are not over there Today I am not a lawyer, your body, those that wall up in its game over. I could be wrong. I'm just a novice at this stuff. I get to sit next to you, though, so there's that

that puts us. Our the ramsey show in the books will be back with you before you know it in the meantime. Remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace and that's to walk daily with the prince of peace, Christ, Jesus, the

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