Presidential hopeful Mike Pence has quite a VP resume: ice cold immigration takes, unconvincing lies, and an impressive squirm out of Trump's hold. Here are some of his most memorable moments.
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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I won't be honest: people last night was not the most interesting convention. Might actually I'm gonna be super honest. It was exe,
grimly boring and that's only because the other lives have been so rock and roll mean, unlike one kimberly gill foil attempted to summon the crackdown on my two donald trump had a ceremony with immigrants that wasn't a marriage. Last night's. The most exciting thing to happen was
speech by more like paints, a man so boring, but during his mid life crisis he bought a minivan here. Ladies
want to come on, I'm going to cost, go, and parliament made pencil speech. Interesting was how he's able to hide so much bush.
Underneath the veneer of a respectable small town, pasta,
In fact, he actually made me appreciate trump because trump says bullshit in a bullshit way. That's always easy to spot. Like that.
I mentioned the bible. You ve been talking about. What's your favorite book and he said
last night and I, like some people, are surprised that you say that I'm wondering why one or two of your most favoured bible verses are- and I wouldn't want to get into it because to me, that's very personal- and you know when I talk about the bible- is very personal site. I want to get internet, since there are no one, it is. It's a virus means a lot to you that you think about our sight. The bible means a lot to me, but I don't want to get into specific, even decided.
First of all like to do that, every old testament geier do tell me probably equal, see obvious bush.
We all know that men have never read the bible now granted has never been any book, but he specifically never read the but which is your favorite, but with my pants, if you not paying attention, he comes across as a reasonable guy you're just the same way, I didn't trust,
Anything that the tiger king said, but when doc ankles spoke here
Maybe believe that he wasn't one a wild animal sex cult just seem like.
everyone always doing their thing, and last night was my pants at his finest who com full of bs, starting with the way he talked about the civil unrest happening.
Erica cities. Last week, Joe Biden, didn't say one word about the violence and crime
ass engulfing cities across this country. President trump and I.
now that the men and women that put on the uniform of law enforcement are the best of us every day.
when they walk out that door. They consider our
I was more important than their own people, like Dave, patrick underwear,.
An officer in the department of homeland security is federal protective serbs who was shot and killed during the riots in oakland. California,
Dave's heroism, is emblematic
here is a servant. Blue everyday first off pence says that an officer,
killed during the riots in oakland, which gives you the impression that the office was killed by riotous eyes. The truth is the person charged with killing officer underwood is a right wing. Terrorist
you know it's sort of like saying that loosely died during the vietnam war. Yeah. Technically, that's correct
because he died in nineteen seventy three, but it's not while he was
fighting the vietcong you gonna tell the truth. People mostly was killed.
by the illumine. Not one penny says that
Joe Biden didn't say one word about the violence during the convention. He's giving
Impression that Biden supports the riots when, in fact,
Biden condemned them a few months ago when they started, and he can
you'd condemning them again yesterday when they kicked off in Canosa and that's what makes my pencil slick he doesn't lie, he doesn't like. He just implies
that's fine. I guess you know, there's no commandment that says: thou shalt not suggest false witness against nine neuber. So, according to my pants america, under president trump is falling into anarchy. Botz you'll, never guess who's. Faulty
actually is Joe Biden says that america is systemically races and that law enforcement in america has, and I quote, an implicit bias.
against minorities. Joe Biden would double down on the very policies that are leading.
The violence in america cities the hard truth, is
you won't, be safe and Joe Biden. America, that's right. You see all the bad stuff, that's happening and trumps america
Well, that's actually Joe Biden, america so wait. When is it trumps america?
when things are going well and as for the idea that you won't be safe when Joe Biden as president
people are not safe. Now get the riots caroling viruses, wind punch me in the lungs. As soon as I leave the house, you won't be safe in the future.
jack, odin and gunnar one then he's right now. So my pants talking about riots and protest wasn't exactly on the up and up, but it was nothing compared to his bullshit about trumps handling of the corona virus pandemic, which to hear him tell it was more perfect than trumps call with ukraine.
before the first case of the corona virus spread within the united states. The president took on
precedent it acts in suspended all travel from china, the second largest economy in the world.
no, that action saved untold american lives, and I can tell you first thing: it bought us invaluable time
to launch the greatest national mobilization since world war to present a trump marshall.
full resources of our federal government. From the outset he directed us before jesse
This partnership with governors across amerika, in both political parties today, were conducting more than eight hundred thousand tests a day and we have coordinated the delivery of billions of peace
It does have personal protective equipment for our amazing doctors, nurses and healthcare workers. Okay, I'm not going to lie. I'm actually kind of impressed by how much cow excrement pence managed to pack in here, because
es. America is doing eight hundred thousand test today. Now what pens doesn't mean
is the many months where america did basically no testing and the trump himself once they should be less testing.
Hence brags about coordinating the delivery of ppp. What he doesn't mention is that america was so disorganized on people. Either nurses were wrapping themselves up in garbage bags.
running around looking like some kind of broke ass, missing elliot's, I mean it's great that you bought invaluable to
multinational mobilization.
What would have been even better was, if you,
actually used that invaluable time to actually do the net
gentle mobilization, oh and as for the seamless partnership with america's governors, I assume pence is referring to when trump told democratic governors that they would only get help. If they were nice to him, I mean I get,
That's a seamless partnership, the same way when a guy walks into the bank and tell someone to put the money in the bag. They put the money in the bag, hashtag teamwork, now to be fair,
Hence did admit that america has completely shawls corona virus.
But then he got mad. The Joe Biden said finishing. The job would take actual work. Now. Last week Joe Biden said that no miracle is coming, but would show doesn't seem to understand
Is that america is a nation of miracles
ro the report that we are on track to have the world's first safe, effective
around virus vaccine by the end of this year,
wow? What a miracle we?
beginning the vaccine at some point, and only two hundred thousand people have to die first, tangled
Joe Biden like I don't think it's still qualifies as a miracle if it have
long after we needed the miracle, god putting the red sea one
I have been quite as miraculous if it happened. Eight months after the egyptians stabbed all the israelites to death, so that was MIKE pence's speech and I guess we finally found out why pencil is as a permanent squint yeah his own faces going. Are we really saying this bullshit? Let's kick things off with last night's, vice presidential debates, the first and only debates between the two people who will take over if the president falls in the shower, and it was a weird situation from the start, because there is a real chance that pence could have covered nineteen, even though he's tested negative and that
there wasn't helped. When pencil I threw agenda, reveal potty. Think it's a girl blood bring it's a girl. Now it would be unfair to say that no part of last night was worth watching because for a couple of minutes, specifically two minutes and nine seconds, the debate got maisie,
A fly stolen, the spotlight landed on vice president, my pants, his head and stay there for about two minutes. Everyone, but pants themes notice, will fall on the way you did on MR princes
and sat there for two minutes and nine seconds by thought that the most effective being on that stage to go after vice present
pants was that fly that landed on his head? Who would have predicted a fly to steal the show? Okay, can I just say that I was not surprised at all to see that fly land on MIKE pence? First of all, even a fly knows better than to touch a black woman's hair and second, have you
My pants guy has bloody eyes in the wolves. Palest skin fly probably thought it was a dead body. Flowers, like you
This is where I be was like. Walrus should moved and look,
flies land on people all the time, something crazy about that. What was crazy is how long it sent. Therefore,
even trump was watching at home, like while two minutes with my parents. I could never do that. We gotta get that fly into the, whereas such above a traveller
people are excited about what I will do for them. I be
We're excited about what I will do for business your business
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That's it we're here for it it your journey, this honey you as they dont, come to learn more about the all new twenty twenty four hundred conan. Let's keep things off with an update on the january sixth insurrection at the capital, the day white supremacist entered the capital without having to get elected. Yesterday, congress held its first hearings on what went wrong with security that day and the testimony from the people in charge was not encouraging, but yesterday's hearing was just the beginning of a long process. I mean president trump incited the mob that stormed the capital. Chanting hang mike pence, that's something that was shoop upsetting
to everyone. Well, almost everyone former! Vice president, my pants is standing by his former boss. That's right, pencilled, a group of
normative lawmakers yesterday. He maintains a close personal friendship with the former president. This is significant because of what happened on January six and pro trump demonstrators coming into the capitol looking for mike pence and donald trump tweeting about attacking mike pence, even during the capital riot, but he did not express I'm told any ill. Will
or is the former president banks tol me? I got the sensor speak often we maintain the same personal friendship and released.
Ship now that they have for four years,
we're staying loyal after he sent a mob to kill. You manage shows how committed my pencil to his principles. He won't. Even
what a friendship- and I don't know where the mine is between forgiving and being a doormat, but my pants crossed it alone,
I'm a good, I mean here the bible says to turn the other cheek, but at the same time one of the ten commandments is thou shalt not be a bitch ass. I guess at this point there's nothing. The trunk can do to my pants. That would make pens turned on him. They basically have the same relationship.
We have with our alexa. Ah, alongside age you I wish you would die, I'm sorry, you feel that way. Is there anything else? I can help you with me.
Kick things off with the ongoing investigation into the january six attack on the? U s: capital building, also known as the most successful facebook meet up of all time. Right now, a congressional committee is trying to determine if president trump and his allies were involved in the violent attempt to overturn the election and one of the people they most wanna hear.
from his Steve Bannon, former trump adviser and the only person who should maybe try horse the worm. I mean it couldn't hurt, but, like any innocent person, trump has told all of his people not to cooperate with law enforcement at all, so Bannon defied a congressional subpoena to testify, and this morning he turned himself in arriving at an f b. I office
king, like he'd, already served ten years in prison, but if all of this activity has gone from worried he's not showing it. In fact, when asked whether he had tried to pressure my pants into
turning the election on january, sick well, trump basically admitted it in the most trompe way possible
It had been reported back in january by the new york times the trump even pressured pants on the morning of january sixth, with a crude phone call. When I interviewed tromp for betrayal, I asked him about that. There was a report, excuse my language, not not mine
work that you talk to him that morning- and you said you could be a patriot or you can really say that, or is that or is that a incorrect? I wouldn't dispute it. I wouldn't dispute it wow trump or his gangsta. Why would I disputed the guy's, a total pussy? Why would add the spirit you know what I love about trump? Is that even if he didn't say that he's the type of guy who would pretend he said it just because it sounded cool? Well, yeah, that's a good line. I totally said it. I shed a patriot, a pussy. I love it also love how the reporter says, excuse my language or excuse my language, as if donald trump is going to be offended, my man, it's donald trump, if anything he'd be like pussy, my favorite jobbik. Thank you for bringing this up. Let's talk about it and by the way, can we
also acknowledge that don't be a pussy. Is the thing people only go to in life when they don't have any other arguments? You know it's the last option when you have nothing real to convince someone with
it usually works, because no one wants to be a pussy. I mean that's probably how cliff jumping started, but sometimes it's good to be a pussy oftentimes history is made by pussies. I mean gandy, total pussy yeah britain was like. Are you going to fight us or are you a pussy and gundy said I am a pussy? You must be the pussy you wish to see in the world. That is what we need more of it.
You know I messed up my academic in a way I feel bad for might pits may cause he was like live in, that christian life and ban all righteous. He wouldn't
like the last for five years following the ego, like you know, measures to
do everything perfect and then just in the ninth inning, oh I'm going to hell, I gonna do nothing wrong cause whole life. He missed all his good jack of use powder that jack of you, you do jack of uses from fourteen to about forty five, forty six and he didn't do nothing. Just a pure man then start hanging with trump nine go to him. Then we do a patriot or a pussy.
just messed up feel bad for my trans man, he gonna be alright. The republican party right now is more divided than Kim kardashian and kanye west. The big debate is between a small handful of conservatives, who think it is wrong to try and steal an election versus the majority of republicans who say, overthrowing democracy is just legitimate political discourse while now,
Mike pence has chosen aside the former vice president, my pants rebuked president trumps insistence that parents could have rejected the electoral college results on Jane re. Six prisoners
said, I had the right to overturn
the election of president trouble is wrong.
And frankly there is no idea more on american
then the notion that any one person could choose the american president would like pants standing up to.
Donald trump, a look at my guy trying new things for the first time next week, players going to be having sex with his eyes open, but still good for pants, and it's going to be fun watching
endorse trump for reelection two years. He was right. I should have done it
next time. Maybe I will today was the third day of the january six hearings, aka a vh ones behind the riots. Now this session focused predominantly on MIKE pence, former vice presidents and the inspiration behind the white noise machine, because you see trump's entire plan to overturn the election hinged on MIKE pence, agreeing to break the law by not certifying the election results, and today we heard what might be the funniest recounting of the conversation that trump actually had with mike pence, where the vice president would not agree to trump's scheme. No matter how hard the donald tried in the book herald journalist bob
Where did Robert passed a right that the president said quote? If these people say you have the power? Wouldn't you want to Vice president says quote: I wouldn't want any one person to have that authority. The president response, but women almost be cool to have that power.
vice president is reported to have said. No look, I've read this and I don't see a way to do it. We ve exhausted every option. I've done everything I could and then some to find a way around. This is simply not possible. My interpretation is no to which the president says. No, no, no, you don't understand my.
You can do this. I don't want to be your friend anymore, if you don't do the hill over. This is this is the part of the paradox of donald trump, the israeli, the paradox that he has the most terrifying schemes in the world,
But he executes them in the most hilarious ways, because trump basically lives his entire life, as, if he's the bad kid and one of those anti smoking, pierce asia, those come on
just firewood turning the election. I thought you wanted to be cool also by the way, if there's one person who you can't entice with cool, it's my pants
the least cool man in the world. The men wouldn't even watch maternity toby's because they don't wear pants.
And you know crazy about the story, because trump said it like this, because he said it like this. You actually believe that is true, because if the reporting was that pen said sir, we cannot do this and then trumps at my interpretation of the constitution.
offers ample precedent. Both legal and historical period will get us nowhere. That happened that it never that's, not real, but I don't want to be
friend every modulate. Yet, as does that, do you right here also pointed crazy. The trumpet thought they were friends, not co workers, not acquaintances, friends. How would that even be possible? What pins and trot
have to bond over. Her is hanging out on the weekend like thanks for bringing major, there's club mike,
the music a little late, but the ladys are looking good. Mr president, its church
Oh, that's, why it burned, when I walked into the door totally get it to Ligeti, as everyone prepare themselves for what the twenty twenty four race will be like with trump there's one party there's one part that'll be different this time, and that is one of trump's biggest assets
It is going to be leaving his ass very dry. Nearly two years after a mob of donald trump supporters attacked the capital disrupting the transfer of power. Enchanting hang mike pence trump's, once loyal vice president is finally telling his story about what happened that day. The president's words were reckless and his actions were reckless.
Presents words that day at the rally endangered me and my family and every one of the capital billing. Given
I'll bet you witnessed in the capital on that day.
is a pretty straightforward question? A yes or no
Do you believe that donald trump should ever be president again David?
Think that's up to the american people
but I think we have better choices in the future.
Yeah good. For my pants telling donald trump, you almost got me and my family kill, which is why I am now prepared to say
possible. There are better alternatives to you in the next elections. That decision will be up to the american people. You tell them. I bent you real about it's a simple question: do you support trump or not company? Might pens is the one live.
I was hanging and I know I know why he's doing this right and always doing it. He doesn't want to go too hard against trump because he's still hoping to win over trump's voters it
he runs were present, which is delusional trumps. People were the ones who wanted to kill him
the only reason they would elect him president, so that they know for sure where he lived. Why would they both for you? I didn't it that strategy works. It still makes him a punk
bitch, I'm sorry for this, not the type of man you want leading the united states will do you couldn't say the thing out loud pencils present forget china, Canada,
would be invading like. Oh sorry, sorry we're going to take oregon a oh just seem so easy. Sorry, sorry, the the one thing we can never get more of his time or can kindly this is what's next
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more. I beam dot com, slash orchestrated ib in let's create I dunno about you guys, but sometimes I just need some me time. During my drive time. You know windows rolled down. Listening to your favorite podcast, just you and your car. Sorry, no passengers invited, thankfully, the all new twenty twenty four hyundai kona is equipped with everything you need to make the most of your drive time: riding comfort with kona's roomy interior. I'm talking the holy grail of leg, room, guys and cutting edge technology. That will comfort you with it's spaciousness and it's ability to help you navigate from point a to point b: ok, hyundai, the all new twenty twenty four hyundai kona is getting ready. When you are vibes and We'Re-
Therefore, it is your journey visit honey you as they dark com to learn more about the all new twenty twenty four hundred conan.
I was thinking of MIKE pence. Guess what they just founded his house, the classified documents have to first drop them by now mike pence. You know at some point the fbr is just going to have to be like
hey, I'm gonna close my eyes and count to ten and if they're classified documents on this table, and I open one, no
one gets in trouble. Let's move on
to the major news about the arrest of donald trump, which is that
Turkey still has not been arrested, but don't worry because it still fifty other investigations going on into trump, and one of them is about to feature of surprise witness.
In a major ruling, a federal judge has ordered former vice president mike pence to testify before a grand jury about former president trump pence has been ordered to give testimony in the special counsel, investigation of trump's attempts to overturn the two thousand and twenty presidential election. The judge ruled private exchanges between trump and pence are not off limits. Prosecutors are focused on conversations. The two men had on January six and also in the days leading up to the capitol attack. The conversations before january six when donald trump and mike pence were on the phone one on one and donald trump apparently was berating him. Calling him names that sort of thing in this criminal investigation he is going to have to share that.
Oh, come on man don't make penn say all the names that trump called them: the whoa that could take weeks. The jury members have families to go home to, although, as a viewer, it's it's something I'd like to see actually
President trump brought me into his office in called me, a little mashed, potato boy, jerk off for Jesus, a similar, its silver haired baby bid.
He called me the white mitt romney, the heart, even know what that means. He said if I didn't overturn the election he would have. I mean how would I put this, make love to me in the hole
purple comes out more on this story, we go alive to the port house and Roy what junior? Well? What do you think about pens having to testify against trump? I think this is about
it the widest trial of all time you got this. You got donald trump. This is about to be wider than the Gwyneth paltrow case got snow, skiing and gwyneth. Paltrow has a good point and it seems like,
can surely doesn't want to testify, of course, garden trucks
Porters gonna try to kill someone,
supporters of women, so my princess double scale. According to his belief
if you get killed by a woman, you got a super hail and out into the bathroom rates and super hale yeah. It's almost like an amazon whereas, but there's a way out for my pits, there's a way out for donald trump,
but neither one of em I don't like it it pits. Dont want to test
fight against trop, then trop and pants gotta
Mary way way way down. Why worry? When talking about married, I told them, but allow John you don't have to tell
If I can show spouse- and I know what I'm talking about- I watch out alone orders even a bad spin off. Ok, ok, we're still. How can they be married? They hate each other. All,
Mary people hate each other, not like hate me. A spouse will be a big adjustment for trot.
Mulatto be so heavy that trump is getting married to prince, should walk him down the aisle herself. The marriage may do melania go out there, donna and also, let's just be real about this John trapper bills, get married
They might just end up off me
they fall in love. Maybe they adopted chow together the kid girls up.
Why does kid in history? A kid so why he can gentrifying
build and just by touching it super white. I'm talking about a kid so white that he don't even have to go to coachella. He just
someone called show around needed is bogus pleased by the ways. I'm sorry madame.
Just also why all these white asking about
let me do some black to rebalance myself legitimate, because I didn't want me a bank loan. You know
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Transcript generated on 2023-11-13.