The Daily Show jumps in our time machine to head back to this day in 2008: Lehman Brothers has just collapsed, sending the market into a death spiral and sinking the financial crisis to a new low. Jon Stewart catches us up on this latest economic nightmare, discussing the ever-changing situation with Aasif Mandvi before checking in on the latest presidential campaign-trail spin from Senators Barack Obama, John McCain, Joe Biden, and Governor Sarah Palin. Plus, Jon and Ricky Gervais get into some obscure (and questionable) animal facts.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
People are excited about what ai will do for them
we're excited about what I will do for business your business.
producing watson, eggs, a platform designed to multiply outlet my training with your data when you what's next,
your business. You can build ai to help coders code faster customer service, respond quicker and employees handle repetitive tasks in less time. Let's create ai that transforms business with watson. Next learn more at I bm dot com, slash watson x, I b m. Let's create
whose mobile passionate determination fuel what it means to get after
that's why they build their offers? Keeping in mind those go, the extra mile loose mobile is pardonable champions from across the nation to empower with device
in service that won't break the bank joint boost mobile get after him.
which the boost mobile now and get a free samsung galaxy. Eight, twenty three: five g for power by america's largest five g networks. The offer details at boost mobile dakar terms and conditions apply here. Listening to carmody central.
how
timber. Sixty two thousand and ten to be simple rule news headquarters in new york, the danish plunge our gaza. I really am surprised you still have the strength to regulate rewrite the people in the arts ever records, and I would like the shackleton expedition here tonight.
They are not an audience. They are survivors.
The large one, bordeaux anyone borders towards magic? Where did your base is gonna? Be our goods backstage as we speak, the sleep well obviously used.
We've pretty much covered everything there was to cover the only thing, as we didn't talk about it to get that miley cyrus there's got a new boyfriend he's honky. Apparently she broke up
this guy, but I hope that this new guy she takes it slow makes a choice that reflects for small town values. Remember miley, you're. Sixteen your young got a whole year
before he should get knocked up unmarried, so that's all
Goodnight everybody. Unless is there any other issue? I'm forgetting what is what
It's late
stories of the day is was happening in our financial markets, financial markets right yesterday, the darwin. Those drove felt five hundred points
following the largest bankruptcy in american history, lehman brothers collapse of one hundred fifty eight years after leaving them
There is in the hands of the youngest lehman brothers
bongo. Meanwhile fellow
until DR marrow lunch was saved from the scrap heap with a bank of america by making maryland is famous mass got so sad
refusing to calm his genitals
He's kirsty tat, you, corn row, that bank book looks like troy, pall mall over there.
pillars, but don't worry lemons, commercial real estate is ensured by the massive american international group, better donors.
Korea is a g which today, what's that, merely collapsed. Why? Because ai g actually sought to solve their financial problem?
seriously by lending money to themselves. Try that, sometime on down to my last dollar
well. Excuse me, I think I can view or why why thank you are
we appreciate that
the how bad can it really be? Organs are concerned about the adjustments
taking place in our financial markets. Judgments sounds and cry,
We minor, I wonder if anyone else has frame the issue different
There was a lot on the floor at the end of trading on wall street today, financial soon, not one of the ugliest days. I have ever seen nightmare on wall street, these atomic bomb, almost armageddon nine on the richter scale, something about financial hurricane hitting the united states today. So there you go to different opinions and apocalypse and adjustments. These data, the american economy lying somewhere between the four horsemen riding steeds and wielding blades of fury, overcharge elsewhere,
and something you get it your chiropractor. That's your age, america, gold, confidently and plan your financial future. I'd like to hear from an expert, let's go to the secretary of the treasury appears to be.
MR monster, which are and has graciously given us
of his time today. He doesn't have an endless supply of it. So please keep that in mind. Oh, my god,
time? We got no money
at no time
about
very, very busy man, no time for small dog. Let's get right to its very
afternoon. Everyone- and I hope you all- had an enjoyable weekend- yeah laughs, you're bad at what you do says. I hope my little joke distracted you for the fact that you've lost everything, hey here's, an economic indicator. This economy is so bad that the first thing the treasury secretary. Does
is protect his own job. The president has been a great blossoms. We worked through here, he's been focused on the right thing:
I support his economic policies. Please don't send me back to the private sector, those people sleep in senior financial,
Analyst as if Mandvi has been monitoring the situation on wall street all day, he joins us now, as if thanks for doing the where's, your hair, also the hair,
on a financial analysts? John, I was just downtown tabling another.
My new financial show the ball guy in the hot chick talk money. That is, that on this network or it's not on any network, but dont tell the hot check that us we're seeing banks failing, we ve seen others merging under duress and how bad is it down there? Well, it's changing quickly. Obviously, yesterday this was my lunch. Today, its bank of america mental edge a fluid situation, but people should remain com. This is normal us of. How is this normal?
shoddy lending practices. Taking down three fifths of the nation's storied begging institutions, well, an uptick in financial cafe or not digging. Financial chaos and disaster can always be expected in this political season. These bankers follow american elections very closely and I'm sure that this is their attempt to influence our democracy. I think, as if there's been another murder that happened azure yup now it appears that way so
also, who are the bankers trying to throw the election to the Democrats
other the Democrats, the Democrats or for more regulation. Hey, I didn't say these guys were smart.
We see the loans they ve been given out around here,
We new neighbours things seem to be moving very quickly down there as different buyer step in yes. Yes, it does
Ah, it seems some buyers have moved in to take advantage of be distressed.
Pricing. I am one of you do not
thank you all services, laundry everybody! Good luck. People works
I did about what I will do for them. That idea
we're excited about what I will do for business. Your business
producing watson, eggs, a platform designed to multiply outlet my training with your data when you what's next,
Your business, you can build ai to help coders code faster, customer service, respond quicker and employees handle repetitive tasks in less time. Let's create ai that transforms business with watson. Next learn more at I bm dot com, slash watson x, I b m. Let's create hey there check out this news from
most infinite. You can now get the latest iphone every year and unlimited wireless for just sixty dollars a month. This includes the new iphone
fifteen pro now. Just think about that you get the light
This is phone not just this year, every year
this goes round the sun. You get the latest iphone and
wireless from boost infinite and free candy. Now now regarding plight, in others,
people who always at the latest, tat gizmo before everyone else. Now you could be one of those people without even trying, and when people ask you
is that the latest iphone you could just be all cool about it and say: oh yeah, I mean I get the latest one every year. You know that's just how I roll,
I can be you with boost infinite infinitely better to learn more visit.
Boost, infinite doc home, that's boost, infinite dot, com terms apply after thirty gigabytes service may be slowed, receive a comparable iphone model each year with an acceptable trade in every year requires credit, qualification and thirty six month phone financing agreement.
Another point is a wall street will ultimately put millions of americans yesterday, the crushing affected for americans in a deeply personal. What the american economy is in a crisis, the most serious financial crisis that we say in generating the crisis that you been face, you down main street
is now who wall street. Let me tell you something: that's going on today in our world, particularly
here in our nation that needs and shake up in some fix. It
did she went to contest what what
Is it a call? We gotta do some shaken. I see what's happening here and you can have a crisis complicated issue. The solutions needed a probably unpopular, undoubtedly confusing. Perhaps it's time for a good old fashioned candidates, generic off generic up
I July so, and the food, the food it's what's for eating the players flipped a coin to see who go first, but the coin represents what
What's your from the junior senator from Illinois, we're gonna get the economy back on track and our financial institutions back on track, who well in certain forceful sounding totally em
I got a hollow prim republicans your response. We ve got a fiction, we gonna fix it and we will, we must back said we must use some sort of dual an economic fix,
and do what was right in america, Mccain, oh wait:
if you're in michigan talking to autoworkers, give me a generic homer. You a double
the guy never belong to you, but I'm more united states senator because of the uk government is that a pandora,
This is a generic I'll come over and take another swaying. I count John Mccain,
as a personal friend. I don't doubt it
cares. He just sudden thing. He doesn't think
We have any responsibility to help. People were heard in this house that a passive agree-
job again he's a good man is just
horrible human bird there's a bird there's a soldier but a stupid idea to kills babies. I love of these terrible. This is a huge.
Opening, for the republicans Biden has advocated the generic off. Let's hear from could possibly be president pale in this crisis happened, for several reasons were well. There's a generic off reasons. That's dangerous territory
at carefully. I hope, they're generic reasons, several reasons which have to be addressed right now. The you've given us a what and when don't give us a how guys and gals our regulatory system is outdated.
It needs: a complete overhaul, o guards endows.
Robert, don't you know what you said.
do not eat or call she's not actually suggesting the government be responsible for regular.
in the financial markets in any way broken
Then berries,
our economy will grow and we will get government out of the way of private sector progress. Bird save, surely not specific enough to complete.
Contradict yourself. We need more regulation, we need more regulations so that we can get government out of the economy and their normal people's brains can explode.
Johnny Mccain? She set em up mown down still
the fundamental shark of our economy are strong.
That is true
What is also wrong? We're supposed to about crisis. You know what's going to happen now,
few hours, dimension of our economy, you're, strong fundamentals of our economy are strong
You know the internet moves quickly. Now
It looks like curtains for Senator Mccain, but as in any generic off, you get one last chance to go into the retraction chamber where you can either take back what you said about the fundamentals of our economy,
or fundamentally try to change the meaning of the word fundamental. I wished
but the fundamentals of america, which is the workers, their productivity, their innovation there to their incredible performance for many many years.
Sure you're, ladies and gentlemen, we have a winter that was John Mccain. Speaking from his new circular talk express the john Mccain is the only p w who was brainwashed after his captivity, we'll be right, but people are
excited about what ai will do for them,
we're excited about what I will do for business. Your business
introducing watson eggs, a platform designed to multiply outlet my training with your data when you watson,
your business. You can build a high to help coders code faster customer service, respond quicker and employs handle repetitive tasks in less time. Let's create a I, the transforms business with watson, ex learn, more ibm dot com. Slash wants an ax ibm, let's create introducing ober teen accounts. If,
you have a teenager. You probably drive them around a lot mayberry
driving memory now new uber teen accounts are apparent, supervised uber account with always on safety, features that let your teen request a ride. We, you can't take them yourself. Your team gets too
with a highly rated driver, and you get to follow along with real time notifications and live trip tracking in your uber app. Add your team to your uber account today available in select locations cf for details,
The
one of our favorite comedian in h, b, o special coming up in november. His latest film is called ghost town was going back to original
the guys over here and I'm not. Obviously, you know nobody, you look and I'm trying to come up with the right word, because obviously you're, a british sophisticate you look. If I may smart, is that you were last time I was on you at Asu and you said also hides your paunch, so I thought up a psu on a note look, but, unlike that, scruffy
at the beginning. Did you see the dread logs on that bomb? Combed?
going. I show you.
If I may go on you, I only use. No, no! No! You throw you I'll. Tell you what I do. I have mine as a bald spot, so I do a comb over and you can never tell and until
get out of the shower and then what you do you put you back.
doc. You just uterus pitched yourself, a new comedy central franchise, brent, they're, gonna love
and now our our you doing here, here's what I like about you you're, always a bright man, always an almost a renaissance man of sorts. I find a man have a wealth of I'm not prove it at the moment, but in your brain I find that you have your your facts. Man, if I may I'd love. Yes, I do and I think that's because I'm a man, though I think that it doesn't have to be clever men, love facts. I think nuts, don't you think? Oh they love this retention of pointless trivia, unlike women that I know I'm a pointless. I just assumed it was things you pick up, but you don't think women. Nor do I do it. My stand up as well. I just sometimes just read. You know I love on the internet. You can go to these places and they just got websites for facts. It is nowhere like wikipedia, but you people can. Anyone can go into content in the library. You can't do encyclopedia just get it down and start changing in a library, so some of them are spurious, but I am
I have one of my favorite fantasies and you can lead a cow upstairs, but not down the and that's true. I checked ours because their joints don't oppose, but the first thing I thought was of the poor, the poor man who found out the hard way, the common daisy down ago. A congo downstairs my job. I don't care
I join my words can be every five minutes get down there, but it's true, but it's true, but I believe the cow was not in more of a hurry that what exactly where? Actually that's, not appoint the spot? You mean I I know now never to yeah. That's why you're! My guess is, though, if you really had to get a cow downstairs, you could do you could I mean, I think I think you could coax it, someone you can post to get in the car.
I'd show it my lovely co, settled gimme, another bigamy, seven more, like bats, always exit cave to the left, to trade.
Will we be able trivialize, two million? If you live in the hall, you ve got a system, otherwise its kyle, so they go we're going out
I thought whoa. What do you mean we're going to go to the ogo left? Fine and it works. Is that real? That's a real fact. I always try that in the subway. I would like to see all everybody to the left. Even if it's not the way you want the gun that'd be less bumpy in that's exactly right. There are one thousand types of bat, a thousand types and all go to the left.
The owners and no one bad. There's, no wonder the level, and by this is the right of going back. Are you idiot? It would be,
thousands or does did that lily.
Together or, as I said, that we set put their lives. I forget this, but I think it's nit picking. They don't need that when he talked about. I think I think a lot of very close. I think that research, so scientists get paid by the species, so they go another one will thus just done
just a fat bestrode. Now you think the scientists are working strictly volume. I think basis that there yet they're getting my are all of your facts. Coming from
your high late at night, watching national geographic, give any facts that are based in
daylight. I do what you lot now, I'm trying to myself. So I do what a lot of luck- history, channel discovery, channel hasty channel discovery channel, so it would be ass merely about sharks and nazis.
Now I do direction. Did nazis move
when they walk out of polar bears, are left handed, that's true, it's true and just, but why would that matter to polar bears? They don't play tennis, they don't write. No, they don't write a polar bear. What does he do? That would require handedness left left handed people don't live as long, so maybe all polar bears don't live as long as if they would, if you showed them how to use their mind. But this is another thought. A polar bear will cover it's black nose to camouflage
of more completely during a hunt. Thinking that so is creeping up into the air and the I had looked round. The polar bear goes back. You check out their hiding there, maybe allergic you dont know: starfish have no bright eyes.
Are they all those families,
Gotta go see orderly tunnel. We wondered tonight, the birds do. Nonetheless, it goes on the record. Yes, we are talking about governors, Sarah Palin, husband, first dude or mr first. Do it? Do you know the first dude you, MR first dude sounds a little funny. It mean you can be snake. Second dude,
having thought about that about its being more shows from the daily jump, I guess universe by surgery the daily show. Wherever you get your project watch the daily show. We noted eleven den central gravity, central and stream full episodes any time on their love. This has been a comedy central podcast. Let's start trash
since twenty sixteen, we reduce the amount of litter on our roadways by drugs,
please twelve percent, but there are,
still eighty eight million pieces of litter on our road waste, which
one way to many millions come up public about. Let's do this
during the movement at nobody, trashes tennessee that come with me
billions of books on amazon there's a reading feel
for everyone, for example, ones.
he drift away to nirvana. After only the first chapter is different to my eyes. When she does
discover the narrator was in fact, the evil twin, which is also different to know us any time the cute, so
we're punk mentioned, even though, in reality, he'd be totally out of his leg from two to
amazon books that reading feeling awaits
Transcript generated on 2023-11-11.