Comedian and musician Reggie Watts feels quixotic about being Conan O’Brien’s friend.
Reggie sits down with Conan to discuss his new book Great Falls, MT: Fast Times, Post-Punk Weirdos, and a Tale of Coming Home Again, mashing up music and comedy in his thirties, and childhood heroes Pippi Longstocking and Ferris Bueller. Plus, new numbers debut in the team’s race for Most Popular Sandwich.
For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.
Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (669) 587-2847.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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my name, is reggie watts and I'd feel exotic about being conan. O brien spread very nice. I love that no one's use that word yet and that has been used on the podcast on the earth and at least twenty million have been working on the fence and even when you're, not its betty crackers, read it and ex frostbiting hey. There
Welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a friend I came in hot. I think there are days when I come in hot and today I am a nuclear fueled. Conan had a good workout
this morning you up little otto with. Thank you very much. You don't just get a body like mine. You need to really abuse yourself.
So good to see you nice to see you too, you did come in hot cause, you're laughing in your life. No one can laugh without me. When I hear laughter in a room, I'm not in, I suspect fraud up. You know
It's like a company that couldn't possibly make that it just doesn't seem right.
I'm always like white laughter and I'm not. There must be some someone's something just
fundamentally wrong. So I came. Rushing in here and then I guess, girly was chuckling everybody. I was just telling them something that you had said earlier. That was so funny there I go on there
go in, I write well, that makes sense. I am satisfied
name is joy killer. What
after I must go. I should make
about me, yeah I've noticed as soon as wedding ring yeah.
just about to hit on you. No, no, I was going to say it was your hand was out and it was tilted and it's very nice what a rock I have. I my fingers got skinnier, so I
I have this plastic coil around it and I've had it there just go to a jeweler and they can quickly resize it well cause. I think I'm gonna, it's gonna go back up, I'm sure I think so, I'm just leaving it.
Not at all it's gonna just get bigger and eventually the whole rings just gonna be a plastic coil. I think no one here
lose that I'll hold onto the actual diamond, and you can just were a plastic coil.
I don't get it back at one. I don't want to do that. Well anyway, I just noticed it and it's it's nice. Thank you.
think I ever looked at it really before you are actually don't even think. I look at you very off
if not- I I just I'm just very so focused on me and when I went out and clear younger, and so I too oh goarly lets me this is work on. My guy are usually have a mirror in front of both of his ill. You never asked acts. I may get every employee at a time.
coco where an oval mirror on their faces two way mirror, so they can see through it. But you just see yourself. No, actually, I'm insisting on a one way mirror, so they crash into things and get into terrible
car accidents yeah. It's a mess around here of gifts, glaringly obvious smashing into the wall all the time, but I am happy because I just see me me me, I'm an opera singer. Warming up me me me me me did come in here. I think a lot here. I am addressing my highways. That usually implies like come in hot you're grumpy, your mad. You got some, no, you came in kind of just you just live in your bus and you know what I'm happy. Life is good.
I am happy to be here at the podcast and with some of my favorite people hold on. Let me put on my glasses, no shit. I didn't see it. Sorry! No! I thought it was with Jeff Goldblum and the ghost of abraham lincoln, and then it turns out it's early and I apologize. I always Jeff Goldblum with here, and the ghost of abraham, lincoln yeah it'd be like I'm just was at the theater. What the fuck
abe you road ahead is during the dress, and you just said what the fuck up. I've told you that
thus gets. There was one underwrite were oh here. I think I mentioned on the last year.
Lincoln is in have enemies walking around and see the group having really good time. Any goes up,
group as there all laughing real hard and jokes booth is at the centre and everyone's lincoln's like what the fuck is. He
We appear in Heaven and the like. You know what he was really good to his mom and dad that night.
with you is just he is having an off night or having an off night and lincoln's, really mad and they're like come on a bin and then brutal
I can I,
Mister lincoln! I'm I'm sorry! I don't know what I was thinking, but I am a big fan when he goes to shake lincoln's hands and lincoln swaths it out of the way the commission,
take your hand and then every one else, Aristotle gandhi or what else is like? Woe, aid, not cool. Had this idea like twenty five years ago and is never made, it has happened because you mentioned it a few times per day. Well, yeah. How does it out yet? Is it of a button they get into a fight and booth shoots, link any goes designed ever yeah, but everyone's
like you know, of your kind of being a dick and apes, so it gets into the hell. I don't know, and I know how it ends, but that has just been spit bug. You never written at I've talked with a lot of. I have so many sketches in my head that I never wrote because they just seemed too weird and arbitrary, but that one always amused.
May I want to know if something is to win
good for you does, have you see,
In some of the shit you put on tv, am to what a nice way to put it you're, not going to make sure if I ever. If I ever get a major award for my work in comedy, I'm going to have sony, give it to me, and here they give the award to Conan O'Brien after ninety years in comedy is sort of my obsession. You know I don't know much about conan, but if you seen some of this shit he did
died in a loving waiting for you in an admiring wayne. I
I don't like your wedding ring anymore. Ok,
Okay, then I'll show you, oh no. I think it's poorly fitted to your finger in there that will show you that alright gang, let's all settle down. Okay, I like, when I make
like we gotta get down to business and then its talking to
funny, persists and being idiots it. It's not like we're about to start an algebra class, but anyway, my guest today, of course, a talented musician comedian and now author, with his new memoir entitled great falls Montana fast times, post, punk, weirdos and a tale of coming home again very excited he's here today. My friend reggie watts, welcome reggie you when I got some history and that's why I'm so thrilled at your here today, real history saw you have written a book,
and you have a fantastic story to tell and you're a very talented and also
strange fellow. Let us be honest. The middle classes alone he held up as
As far as can see and our listeners
those are, are they hex guns? What are those are heck see? There are happy about it. Futures actually become many now, I'm gonna take because
if Matt goarly soda knows this vote of man knows that son was on the tour,
we did. This was the two cookie tour
which was really fun and out there in two thousand and ten, and
It was a real happening and we need to somebody.
for me on this tour: the went all around the united states of america and we, of course, we found mister reggie.
Its reggie was a great oak,
for the show and you didn't amazing job. I am one of the things you did so brilliantly is peace
we're coming to the show we put it together. So quick
that nobody knew what it was, and I were
them to know right away. This is
the show you thought you were going to get. In fact, this is, unlike any show you ve ever seen. You can't just have a standard. I just can have a
intimate and go hey everybody how's it going!
You know, and I wonder what the swat died and gave you the sweater, because they were dead and buried beneath the slatternly right. That's terrible he's not he's dead, so he doesn't mean swept up, but the sweaters. What in Kehl anyway, my runs outcome for this is a great betty is good in context, including the content, and you should really see at a sweater. He would go after every day and it was the same sweater land. It was a plan, a where we couldn't get that guy. I wanted that guy so bad that his name's hack be hacked inside. We couldn't get him no, but
But, as someone had heard of you have you seen reggie watts and
you were not unknown quantity at the time, but we saw you when you were absolutely bags
what I wanted and
You would. I mean I came
describe what you would do, but it was so original and so fun and so interesting and so different that people would come in.
See the warm up and they would thank you
they are so no, oh, my god. What is happening
Is this going to be?
and it was great you're, pervasive yeah, but what you did
one thing that completely blew me away and then I'm going to let you speak at some point, but I'm just going to monologue for awhile, because it's reggie wants- and I'm very excited you would
we were touring in the summer. It was very hot. This gentleman would
very, very heavy sweater. Yes, all
the time, lots of corduroy an suspenders and layers,
layers yeah and we would be in texas.
Would be in you tell me georgia. It would be a hundred and thirty degree yeah and you would be walking around you never sweat and then
I would be sitting in my dressing room alone, doing guitar scales and
trying to warm up my vocals for the show, an just try,
get ready and
Then I would wander down the hallway and I would pay
ass wretches dressing room and you
the testify that this is true sooner. I would pass wretches dressing room and you
always a happening. Guess I'm. I would
in the room, and there is always about thirty five people, they're beautiful women,
with like an ipad, a beautiful, with an eye on how china falcon on her shoulder claudia exact.
Tanya mean it real. Andrea was the coolest people I've ever seen and it was it was. They were always different. Every time it was different people. Oh, there is a
a german man with a mine
nurse helmet and he's
go with him, but he's also
drinking absinthe, and it was just this insane collection of human beings and they would always look at me like verses, long time, content and you'd be like oh, hey, Conan it'd, be like oh, hey and you'd all be like a hooker.
doves in the room, the prince was there, you have it.
It was always a happening you, the cool guy huh,
do that hydrogen and weed
nowhere know where we'd be we're here and tell in tallahassee, and there are those people they did. You fly the men.
the iron. Now, however, I you know, I really had to do.
The tour I mean who wouldn't want to come and hang out backstage at your door every friday, warlike that what is
it happening like they were like as much as you're saying like what is happening with this guy, like my friends, were like what what's going on with conan it's like I'm opening for it's impossible, it's impossible with a gloomy com. You know like yeah, it was easy now everyone was so excited. It was so weird because we also never knew who was going to be backstage and whatever, whatever state or city, we were in the most famous people.
That state or city would show up right, and so
it would be in seattle and say: oh you know, any better is gonna programmes gonna come
do something on the shown. If you like wise- and I say this isn't funny- this is hurtful this a prank and then any better which go ahead.
where my favorite- and this is Aaron blared speaking. Yes, I am
I discovered is indirectly by going. I remember, and just so you know, you'll never be allowed to speak now. I know that I am a contract that service that sir, so not every specific memory of being in san francisco and I wished backstage were
Try to get from one side of the stage the other in theirs is very narrow. Halfway him got out walking very fast on them,
away and you're talking to somebody and I just go to kind of peace,
is this person away and as I'm about to touch or I realize you're talking to Neil young- and I was like oh yeah- maybe I'll, don't you fucking yeah, I just waited, but you are such a good. I dunno
was one of those that so many things went miraculously right on that tour and I would say the fur
thing was o- are open,
it was a total hell, Mary we'd, it was reggie watts and
you just set the tone right away and whatever happened on that crazy tour you're, like aha, of course,
is happening and then of course,
I got to know you better throughout the tour, which was a real delight,
I've seen your career blossom so beautifully. Subsequently, and now you have this book out, I realise that you have this improbable background. That kind
made the you coming into that tour feel like yeah. What else you got you don't I dont think I don't think I've weird situation could be created for you that you couldn't handle.
you know honestly it that's.
Amazing observation, because that's how it feels, because you know, like all the other stuff, that I did, that it shows
elective led to do and that was available to me. You are growing up in their stuff was pretty weird and
Gonna take people radio at quickly, just yes at the table, and then obviously I want you to tell this story by them.
You are born your your your your
with no citizen ship. Ok, where were you born as one in stood, got stood guard germinal, got close to soften housing and look at what that goes. It out.
cause right. You ever thought of lay the home. Of course, later thousands and your dad was airforce servicemen riots and
so you're born your your military brat and you
move a lot yeah few times. I will say like a lot.
For the amount of time that we did move. Other friends of mine were like, as in oklahoma for home of her to you than I want a partial,
schooling and partial junior for me
that we moved around not removed to three different for different countries
then ended up in united states, so right until about through by three and a half or for an
this experience of your living in
in europe, your pen
since our by racial couple, and that is very good.
Did and then you move to Montana, where there may be a dick.
Vibe. I'm guessing yeah,
not just gaslights, it's in your boy. It's so tell us about that. I was very interesting, I mean, is it was a mix of being
where of that
and also night we are related costs on here is not at all
actually encourage, ok, well and also
and I- and I also just Didn'T- give a fudge about it.
Harsh Zaragoza budget
It is not one of our favorite glitter. Can we take that outcome army that out? We have a delay by love a hot fox sunday. I despise five sunday, it's so close. Absolutely anytime! You, you haven't, had a heart progress on that level below were lowered. Let me right down there, but also is interesting because
don't you think it. I've always had this theory that growing up kind of it with e o what many people would describe as the rat
co instability of the mixed race, para
europe moving constantly and radically different countries, not really sure what the hell's going on prepares. You in a weird way to say
I'm going with whatever. Oh I'm, a hundred
I mean everywhere that I go. I had to learn how to adapt.
because I was always ill equipped enough, I ever I wasn't
speaking English very fluently. When I first started when a preschool
for me, I you know
try, my best buy, had learn English pretty quickly, and then I had
to learn how to make friends and and- and you know, friends were like. Oh, this guy's weird, you know, and so I had to figure out ways to quickly get in to people's like
renter of like who they are and that that that work
well, I think we eventually like you just get it. It's all about europe, even looking in the entertainment industry, is like eight o, your reputation. That did says a lot about. How can I get hired? It's it's
can it goes back into in school. It's like if you work on,
You now being someone who's, helpful and funny in joking all the time and slightly
warner, but, like you know where the good good intentions
european and a house goes a long way with friends. Yeah I've always mean
and comedies not a hobby, it's a defence mechanism, its learned, very its survival mechanism that you learn very early, totally, learn it very early on in euphoric, her whole life, a rapid man and someone later on in the process people go. I will give you a
for that you go ahead. I haven't using that to stay alive case arrive and you sure this is what kept me from being beaten by those who, again my god, so many fights averted you, you move too great falls Montana and I love this cause. The cover of your book- and I want people to get this book fits
the cookies. For that africa, the cuba is, what cover I've ever seen. It's your your head, floating majestically, disembark above
de I looked like the fall in rate falls Montana. Yes, the anaconda, hydro, electric, damn yeah yeah, you know I'm mad at you, because I need to write my autobiography. You do, but it's a lot of pressure on me to write it, and my idea was my head floating above
hydroelectric dam somewhere down somewhere in the mid west yeah western midwest, yeah, western midwest and source. I'm screwed thank w w
find this does a couple more ideas can did you encounter racism when you were a kid when showing up in this environment for sure,
some of it I kind of chose to not acknowledge
now I just keep doing my thing, but definitely there were like full on in. I got chased by some guys, pickup truck with a b
gun like animals, I trying to hide from stuff for a while that was fun.
in our really while it was happening as this is what it's like to
I know this is a valuable experience, yeah, okay, cool. So this is what you look to a camera that wasn't there I said: are we still rolling? I just yelled up to this guy terrifying to running from these races is invaluable experience. I'd probably learned from it well back to back to running again, and I don't even like running now I mean there were there. Were
I think there were. I remember my Jim teacher at enough. It was in the book or not
it might Jim teacher. He and I had.
Weird, like I just didn't like him, he didn't like me and I remember walking to the gym.
and he was in the hallway before going into the gymnasium, and it was just he and I and he and he can pull me aside. He was like,
I want you to know that you're not fit to eat with pigs and then
and then- and then I just like them as I thank you so much and they walked off and it was like people
thanks stuff. Like that to me, I was like what are you doing.
For me, it wasn't so much like I feel, hurt by its more must say I was just gonna go
doing what interests
mean forceful, that's horrible, but at the
in time. What makes sense
about it is that you are refusing to even honour it you're refusing to grant you some, I get total could talk, you got it out and then you you keep moving and you're totally denying that person there s
their rage. Whatever is gonna, give their feet purchase on the ground, which, in a way, is genius identified, identify
The aspect identify with is the non confrontational aspect right. I was
is very light on my feet and if people didn't like
mere thought I was weirder- was coming after me for one in four one of a thousand reasons. I
stand my ground ago, oh yeah, what are you gonna do about it? I would say thirty, five things that kind of confused. Does
behave in a strange way over and then sort of drift through, and I am not I don't know. I am not advocating that approach in life.
Cousin there's part of me that wishes sure that in the movie
what you do. Is you kiss your best and punch them across the room? You gave your god damn hands off of it happening is having to kiss my first and then fall in love with my face, and then you at five minutes yeah exactly how it puts the shit ever
I'm eliza lesson girl. You know me as a standard. Comic movie is an actress on occasion, a writer and I've got this podcast ask eliza anything where you, the listener are the guest. Every week we field
since from our audience questions your may be embarrassed to ask questions that you don't trust your friends to give you advice on, and we are here to give you the advice that people are too afraid to give you. You can find out scalise anything on serious exam, sticker, Pandora or wherever you get your podcast, don't forget to follow the show to never miss an episode.
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we ve seen all the video call fails by now the mute button. Mishaps, a cat cameos people not realizing the cameras on when their parents are off, but none of this makes fred feel any better about giving an entire sales pitch mistakenly using a filter that turns him into an it submits a baby duck your router love it's too late for it. It's too,
when you realize it's better to do business in person it matters for you, stay welcome to the sultan garden and fed the meeting. Room is right down the hall hilton for this day.
My highest compliment I can pay to you is that you are impossible to categorize, because europe,
is like he's a musician. Yeah was a barrier,
but is also his committee,
it is also an artist but he's also a performed, but is also a prank sir. It's like
which I think is his great you're its
you. You refuse to be categorized, but music must have come
two very early everythink music. I think music,
guess: the secret weapon. Think of it.
For me, growing up by I loved musing, my parents, love music. They listen to my dad was a huge jazz head on and my mom and he like shared their love of jazz, but also specifically like more funk like like james bond,
and things things of that nature
My mom load folk music
We ve been anonymous korean those those types of eddied p, often those types of singers, coolio glacis, and so
I was around so much
ray charles with someone I gravitated too. As a kid I love watching them.
He moved when he played piano and then and we're for some weird reason. Elvis presley was like a huge. My first record was an Elvis presley record. I I just I was impressed with the press, but he
was you can?
that's trademarked,
You will have to meet them.
No one's ever said that about Elvis presley, no one ever and
Everything has been said about it and no one's ever said. I'm impressed with the proper. I feel fine.
Play for the les laying press land where at least for the late fondly for the label.
I told you what I mean.
But discovering music, like my parents saw me like on my light with. I would be like bedside and pretending to be rachel's charles. I was a mimic, the our back, as I can remember
and they saw me doing that and they got me this toy piano and I was playing on a toy piano, a lot
and then, as soon as we move to montana, am I to get age like five and a half, or something like that? I went in to classical piano training and took to it pretty well
I loved, but as a social. So for me it was like I get to be with all these kids and like I'll I'll learn music. But what about all these kids either the music?
fascinating, but really, I think, that's what creates that adaptable
Because for me the one thing I was tell all my artist friends: were they like I'm doing this one thing, but I'm not sure I'm thinking about may be doing painting, unlike those
just extensions of yourself. It's like, if you imagine yourself as lake,
person sitting on it on a floor and your surrounded by all these different medium tools. You can
taped to any position and pick one. It's like this. The core is always the same year. The creator pick different tools, but you ve got the most important part which is like
I have an idea of something I want to do, and so for me I think music.
In that case, I would be on the playground. It would save me if you know people would be like I'd, be hostile,
words me and I would start singing like living
newton, John or some, let's give physical, maybe like all right out, and I was again savagely worry or yeah readily.
yeah
I know how to stop these hooligan through a thing o brien about this with physical hale Brian
gonna beat the shit out of you now. I dont think those before I'm about to saying
soon: violence,
What the fuck oh you'll, see, let's get a physical,
When I awoke and me I see you, there is not one
broken bones his body that bali was a movie. I knew him jane. Just imagine, would only doing at the table lay ground dismantling the boys going like that, all of us to say no, I actually. No, I think this for this binkie, like I've gotta get out of your master here. These are built,
that really took their job seriously and if they find out later on that it was an unbroken pinky there were lighted. You know you got a risk,
you cry warranted! Did the teachers does watch this happen do or they join all day, would sell seats, ryan, uppercut ryan wanted out?
beating about Brian everyone to the north. A parking lot was spending all lessons for the day. The s
he has been cancelled, may I say that he has been cancelled
going to college good year. Blair has already godlike messaging about me, the conan beating you don't ask
a beating a good year, tire software,
focus hard on the tire.
are also you're, so influence you so influenced by pop culture. At this time too, because you're a sponge
an end. You are watching television,
you're watching movies and you're picking up on comedy what stuffy you watching. What are you loving man? I would well we're cuss weaken earlier about
the pink panther he Fatima, those eater sellers. Yes, my my dad and I would watch those now remember- probably the most intense
don't ever had with my father. That I can remember, is
peter sellers, doing that bit. Where he's on the parallel, but I'm sorry, I've. I've thought about the same thing. All my guy swear to god decision I this is in my if I'm only left with eight images,
brain before I die? Ok, I'll reserve!
some for my two children and my wife- ok I'll give them three set eyes, but then there
It's just going to be, and one of them is going to be Peter sellers on the parallel bars up upstairs upstairs in the mac and two next to a flight of stairs going down, yes, dismounts and with a graceful, dismount
and all around the stairs look this up on youtube or wherever you want to delete it he's because he said
poppy his guys parallel bars. I I did you sit there lyceum, you know and it gets on them and is doing and any dismount and aunt Julia and crashes into the room where these staff has been assembled for his questioning, and my favorite thing is that he entered the room with all of his dignity and authority, stripped of because he just fell down and flight of stairs, but immediately stands up yes and where,
we'll just won't you about
see what that was ever because you're just watching in going. Ok sure
I swam back and forth ass greatly, I called as that sidonia salisbury steak,
when that happens and, like my dad and I lost it, oil, we laugh infer from quite
quite a while at so funny, as are those I would go to
the theatre when those movies would come out and I would go, but my family would go my
there we go and that's where I would you always pay,
attention to what I can relate to, as I would watch my dad like. If my dad was,
laughing really hard. That was
because when you're a kid and sometimes
if you do not sure how you're going to connect with your dad, I think times have changed a little bit but yeah thats three. If it all, you feel that I don't quite know how to connect with this guy. He can seem remote. Sometimes I'm grumpy enemies, scared, he's at work a lot and then
you see him laughing really hard at that
At a moment, in a pink panther would be like that. That was that there's no com
incidents that later on, you find out huh, I'm in comedy yeah. This is my way of connecting to people hundred percent. My dad, my and my dad was a very strange guy. He knows a very quiet because he's a war vet
He was always a more animated when I was younger gum, but he knew it was just like few and
arbitrarily those where our moments to connect was really humor him laughing. It
Like doing something done
or whatever or like hiding piece. You know like in my pocket when they weren't looking in that like him, discovering it then dislike laughing about it. Like those directly
not to be in your book yeah. He had ptsd
there are a lot of trauma from from serving I e had been in. Vietnam has only been in vietnam. He hadn't, seen like a ton of action, did see some action towards the end of a second
vietnam, and so I think you know all that stuff
up to, even if you're not like on the front line,
Even if you're on the base- and I mean like he was- I think he was on a base and had
gotten notice that they were surrounded and that the that the vietnamese museum
closing in on this base.
and so everybody was arming up in getting ready and then there was a then, and there was a notice, the said the war was over, so it didn't happen.
I mean I can imagine the stress of just like this impending thing you, like I don't know what's
isn't right now the olive that definitely got to him in and so that I will say that
some of my friends who had difficult times with their fathers? I think he did the best good yeah with what he had. Not really you know,
who knows he was ill prepared for that they also dynamic help. There's like nobody going like well, you ve got shall shock, that's let's adele
I talk about it, write it that was more esoteric or it was more for people that were a little bit more forward thinking. My mom was always like go in the basement, yell, you know, and he would he just wouldn't do any of that stuff. He just kind of be silent,
out in the dark to em so, but you could connected
through comedy and through music. Yes, yes, yet at they eat wasn't like
the guy. That was like I'm really proud of you son. He didn't do that, but you kind of knew when, when I I knew when he dug something or he would
We like man, this guy's, crazy or you know he would shake his head and
his on his face, I knew that that was him. Guy like
This guy is, but I, like him
what's it interesting to me, is that you were in a legit ban
when you,
start to discover. I can kind of do comedy
using these same too,
also mean repertoire. Is you can play off
different instruments, but also by messing around with petals getting different sounds going
you're able to start to make some
thing and- and repeating
phrases and it's it's
It's really cool to watch, you put it all together, but when do you start to figure that out and the members of the legitimate ban get irritated
you're doing that massively irritated? Yes, people
would be annoyed with means doing comedic bets
because you know I did comedy in high school that we had competitive drama. So we got to
do humorous solo the first year- and it was very strange that just get on
tour bus, here's! Forty two
as for the weekend and two nights at a hotel and good luck, competing its other stood
from round the state and a weird high school on a weekend
and so, but it was great
meet all these other drawn kids.
We're all a bunch of weirdos, so they're, just like doing these crazy monologues and you're like okay go ahead, and what am I going to do? I dunno my teacher, like you can do with everyone. That's okay! If you wanna improvise and then I would improvise, so I think all
that and then actually stand. I tried out for a stand of competition in high school and one it and like three hundred bucks for something that immediately, but like a shit on a week for my friends, my friends will agree.
We want you wanna buy some weed that get medially, it's not about like you are great up there and they once got. We got money now you might get some. You did good at a weed wedding competition. You didn't stand up being whatever he had totally, but the weed procuring thing went well. I did. I did good booth weed, but like yeah, so I mean I think that started creeping back in because you know at I haven't.
hyperactive imagination and when I'm on stage- and I hear a sound or like someone says something that immediately leap links to some other silly thing, and I can't help.
After a while, you know there were ten
I understood it. I mean you know, you're, u dont heard the trouble
back there, you don't have a mic and you're like what the fuck is. This guy doing
Now I get it. I was I I wasn't like you guys. Should vendors understand me, but
There were several moments when I felt them going to link. Could you just look at me?
where the next song? I guess that's a good idea. Let's play the next. When did you
decide all right. That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go out on my own and I am going to use this.
that I have and my improvisational skills and my wits and I am going to make this musical mash up of
comedy wonders at up. I mean that happen. I think,
and I was about thirty one. Thirty two I who I was in my band mach two, which was a really amazing ban to be a part of a great man but
we had been. I think we ve been together for five years and we ve gone through a bunch of hype cycles with labels and endless meanings.
it's coming out jimmy? I have been coming out to watch us and like doing showcases in l, a and stuff like that viper room and- and it would we'd almost or almost something would happen and then we'd go back to like
they passed or whenever and we would work on another record or something like that and
and I just wasn't seeing it evolving beyond below the third time that we don t
and so on and I was doing comedy and then I saw what are they called?
Michael Schumacher, mc lean back of the state,
nettles. That will stay our stella yeah. I was post state. I learn about state later, but I saw stella. I was like what is this? Those davy this'll shorts, challan DB, yeah like this is me
humor. These guys know how meaningless things are.
Like and and that's so beautiful and I am identified with that and then they ended up
I think wet hot american summer came out yeah, and I saw that and I was like totally like ugh.
That's yes, I want to do that and I was so driven and inspired by those things and then they haven't come to town star stella did come to town
I met eugene merman and I was ended
asked by a friend and- and he was like, we have a comedy night in new york. You know and then I ended up, writing
with a band, and they needed me in new york for the writing session. For a month, so, while I was there, I did a couple spots and invite them up and instant friends with everybody ask her. I was like being in highschool again I mean when I saw my younger friends or or younger artists or like how did you how you make it and you know, had you basically, that's like the the question, but how do you make it
you, don't have to worry about making it like waved. Make is the thing that you loved
Yes and do that, and I always tell people like if you wake up in the morning and you can't not think it be thinking about a bit.
And if you're always doing bits like that's that's kind of what you are yeah you're, not going to change that, so you might as well make a career out of it. Now I I I
We maintain that I've. My career,
is me doing what I'd be doing anyway and then I was fortunate to find simply
people who had money who end in an owned the machinery who are like wow. You can do it for us, but is it it's
the dirty little secret. Is it if they said well we're done and where
he way all the equipment, I'd say: okay, well back
my bits, yeah, my old bits used to open up a closet whatever and just do it in an in an empty field. I think, and- and you know whatever a passing dove would say that seems sad
He's not a dream is poor. You, MR gordon Liddy. You could build everyone for everyone's because only about other gal, each other control, but my bids, but my bed we'll find it,
europe's with european coded, but
a bit about ronald Reagan, you know him
well well! Well! Well, that's not it!
So how did you learn toadstool? How could the toadstool not like my reagan? Bear
no you're right in the block that, because
U, I noticed there
just to ensure that the
Women are quite taken with a MR reg watson. Then you, you write in the book that your your ah your dream girl is pippi. Longstocking, yeah, really huge, crush on inger nilsson. The original okay yeah. Well. Also the concept, but yes, he was great. He was great, just great and ban of it. Yeah oh and anger called at stop. Writing her later was no, but because of this show they interviewed me for
the documentary talked about it on here and they sent me a signed of vinyl with anger, tommy one sense, yeah wait who are the other two tommy and annika okay
Can you fill in just for people that are listening and had some sort of a childhood when people want to know who the other two are at tommy article or like her normal kid sidekick to know, yeah, they're, friends, they're part of the crew yeah?
but she's amazing, she's, she's, amazing super stronger, her. She had a basement for treasure,
yeah. She had unlimited funds could travel anywhere. She can lift a whore ascetic. She lived a horse should get it is you now she house whose magical she had like? You know: red hair, I'm half read the head and I you know I had seen she had said.
Pigtails over magical and lazy cool style and having such a sense memory. Right now I mean my grandfather, small house in
in miss cuomo, cut, rhode, island and there's a puppy love
stocking movie that comes out of this might have been with anger, I'm and it was an back then there's only three channels. This
tv and miss comic connecticut near the state? Beach doesn't get many of much reception of anything
so you see the same thing over and over again and they were running a a commercial for the people.
long stocking movie, yeah
just one line that rang in my head, which is a weird over dubbed,
someone I think over dollar like yeah, because swedish its weight, I heard accent, would change from film the film
she would have just like a transatlantic and ended. Some film she just be like I'm broke, lay in a pretty long stalking. How well then,
Ok. So when I remember you tell me of this at all rings a balance sheet
What single horse she's running super fast, like one hundred miles an hour and they've, just sped up her legs, she's doing all these crazy things, and then they just cut to a very european weird kid and it looked like poor quality film stock who goes pypy. Are you crazy,
yeah, that's probably yeah. Okay, I remember seeing that I going to what kind of movie is this something my grandfather, a retired policeman would say, try nine pp. Are you crazy
so dies in clips from this podcast in that documentary, because we talked about it. Well, we're gonna talk about it more now and where's. My
By the way. I want a piece of that monies behaviour longest. I wanted that logs running. So what is it about? Pepe long stocking
you first and then you meant what is it? I think
I I don't know, I guess I like that she was a fully independent
She ran her own operation.
And see she ran her own operation. She just went on adventures. She was just like going on adventures. All the time cause. That's what she. What was her grandfather, the pirate or something or father, was a pirate.
Anna, but no longer in the picture, and then you know I had like this gang of.
kids and I dunno. I just had a huge crush on her. I thought she was hot. That's cool yeah!
I think superman was always the ideal when you're a kid, but pepe was kind of a little bit more realistic. Her parent left her dad
last year alone. That's where it is to live in this house called villa villa coup line. He goes and sales the seas and I had a huge crush on her to her
maybe like blondie and pity were my first to cross
blondie was pretty amazing, their little different, but that
or you know, em actually they'll bosnia.
wait. No, no for a no roma missing verse. Yes, that's right! Yeah your hands, woman she's, like she looked like blondie kind, arrest,
it kind of was she kind of looked like a cross between blondie and that people are going to kill me for, like crosby and and and who's the dude from
it's sister. Oh decent, like a tiny bit like a hair like like, I have a huge crush on there. You go. That's my idea. Go yeah! Oh that's! Interesting! No blondie hit really hit big. My freshman year of highschool and I remembered her
being the ideal like uh, that's the sexiest, and she still is. She said. For god's sake, she s most she's the sexy
who was one alive, maybe get blondie amphibian. This pike haven't fight
but by a pip you probably when there is no beating blondie and I got periphery. Are you crazy, exciting matter were stored, improper we're, ok, here's another, a huge influence on you, and you mentioned the book, the fairest bueller ferris bueller's day off you you, yes, that was a huge influence on you because he broke the fourth. While there was the
that was mine. Blowing I mean it was so I mean what, in one of the smartest moves
of a movie screams ever, I think, a sure at the first movie, but definitely
of those coming of age, films which I was all about. I disliked all the
Is that he accomplished in a day I mean it was insane and like? Is he going to make it in all that rascally principle? You know and the sisters kind of bad ass you know like
there are so many adventures.
Things and turn it took place in a day
and then at the end, like him or just once in awhile throughout the movie tube.
Looking at the cameras like that is so cool. I love that like we're in on it might he's like you,
experiencing that reality for us and also its very hard to do as it can be done badly. Yes, and of course
John hughes and Matthew project that their zeal, just they did it perfectly perfectly. There was just like problem- is practical. It's kind of a perfect movie. It's it's totally
think maybe I I've watched it. You know some. Some of the some of those movies are like this, but just moments of it are kind of you know
breakfast classes totally aside and random, but I was down in view
yes in here in california, with David hopping, like a weakened,
alphago and we wander into a store, and
I'm chatting with the guy who runs the store
he says to a woman there whose
so working there. This very
attractive. Woman was probably in early twenties, more
twenties, and he said to her. I can remember her name, but he says, like you know, Syria, Syria tell cod
story telling
story and she comes over kind of
precisely because she's being forced to- and she says my parents are
the parents on ferris pillar
What would you mean and she said that the two actors
the mother and father unfair, ferris bueller. They met
in that movie, why they're my parents and then the guy at the store, is like? Isn't that crazy? And at this point I feel like I have to buy something yeah and they met on that movie and then she is their child and she is drop dead. Gorgeous
well yeah
very nice and very cool. But I just thought waiting.
Are you just? Are you insane, but you think prick, because when you think of people who are playing a couple in a movie
You write ever thing now and she said no. They met on that movie.
and then had me she's the real life healer. She is the real life bueller yeah sure.
Cold storage is real broiler.
does she ever just randomly stop in the middle of the street just turned to a camera that is not there. While I was get a load of me, yeah yeah she did. While I was toddling away yeah. She turned to a camera that wasn't there and said I need us a lot of celebrities at this store here. You know in in near venice beach, counting kind of
I woke up, you know what you gotta pretend to be excited, and then she turned back and still there. I was still there com and I said
rude and then she turned back
to a different cameron said and who now you're gonna hear me once again yet belt.
It can't be broken off. He broke the fifth law he broke, so many walls. The roof collapsed due to Dario
Gas is living in a hybrid out anyway,
I dont know her name by the shot out to her and no kidding are an end. Very lovely cool purses overload set out there that fucking mind blowing yeah yeah, I loved yet live.
yours great, but also I love weird science. Weird science was huge liquids.
Aids is so insane solely because I'm sorry but the premise
is correct- that the is crazy, its cause?
Never seeing that this is how old I am. I saw that in the theater as an adult
shoes to purchase or nice purchasing ticket sentiment with greg Daniels, because we were both writers and we had no girlfriends big surprise,
we're living out here in l a and this movie comes out weird science and we think well, let's go to westwood and watch it to learn how to make a girlfriend yeah exactly. We both need to make a girlfriend clearly, because we know when we meet wants to talk to us.
So we go to the theater and these two guys
just basically, I think, cut out a bunch of pigs.
Is from magazine us and feed?
into our what a supercomputer, a supernova writer then they'll, Brazil, china, brazil area, then
we'd be the out for an and there's a barbie dull, and then I think, because they run a cable to the roof and lightning headset that makes care
a broad true
now they declined or more, but I think the leads people were making with
If you take a personal computer anders alight not stored up and you have a bra and some dolls around you openly abroad. Ellie look wrong. Users are still like. A fancy is not that you couldn't pin down for a while. Couldn't do that and you know I was just in question and we all know that will happen. I guess second happened with a computer and a lightning still, I think I'll, have it vote I very hard. So you know those guys got lucky that movie.
I remember that happening in being alike. At twenty two year old in the theater and just saying o k,
I really don't understand computer glad that let myself and my writing the partner we went out that night. We bought an apple
seven harvey. The idea are still awaiting a great was electrocuted
I know le brock yeah. He is electrocuted le brock lists the police, the firefighters showed up and all they said when they saw us, we were both. Smoldering was trying to make
a broad blotted out? Lately we got you more
it's not barrington, trying to make a lebron to stop to brock and around around the brok, and you re too,
of power. Surge is growing. Every minero areas have a background. I mean that
There was every also had mad max vibes at it. At last I mean it had ever. It was amazing, always guy from madman get the guy from was in it. It was insane, but but the crazy thing was that my first girlfriend was was english and
she was she was. She was a model for like like teen like night, where
something like that, and so she
from london because of mother married and therefore sky and so on
risk girlfriend was like this english brunette model
I was like this is: how does the impossible leg over just watching reared science? You know my first girlfriend is this- that it was very, very
right and then I was very insecure about it cause I was like there's no way the whole time. There's no way has no anus like which is not the right at it and when you're saying that out loud and you're, with her there's no way in the way that you show that all is no way no way while you're having sex there's just no way
no way. You're totally can we
Finish this first baby boy, how my new broke out.
My life with real kelly abroad. What I love it
You have also had a seattle period, which I totally get because you went to seattle to you, wanted to
experience create
the very randomness, see just asylum going to seattle. Yeah.
The cloud covered its about sex.
inches of line of any has occurred like max hundred for you, oh I mean it was the biggest city closest to,
false. I mean you could drive, you could drive there in thirteen hours which for montana know that's like that's double the usual. That's a trip to cvs. Yeah yeah! It's like you know you gotta go to MT. Pasco. Take your time, though, there is a shortcut to love through Lolo, but don't worry about it. Don't just keep going straight if a black ice patches, reportedly on the way to wheel, drive right now, but yeah I mean
It was close enough and then and then I got lucky. You know I've. Just I've been lucky everywhere. I've moved but, like I moved there in nineteen, ninety was just before. Grunge was going to explode,
I was living near now. Like other,
of of weirdos in the house. As a band and like that shit blew up, and I was a huge, sound garden fan and.
Seeing all of that explode and see the industry move and that towns
fast with all satellite office is looking for the next new thing and inform you couldn't have moved there. There were two venues to play at that. Was it like too many is nighttime heartland?
I was driving around the streets. I was so dead. It was such a small town, vibe, anyways and the and then, within a period of about three years it completely
this is insane and the coffee was like. Espresso culture was born, though my lord maya, my wife, is from seattle and I got married there and it's my it's. My you know
from home, because we we go there. Just when I was first dating my wife, I
Oh, you know, let's go get some coffee interests. We are not going in there because she,
like a small yea of coffee.
oh no, they burn the coffee there would about. We could go in this place now, when I
we may have either I'll. Tell you what we're gonna get coffee.
and she would take me to the one place. It mean the coffee just right and I couldn't taste the difference. If I don't get dates, the different I've I mean I've, I've run one sancta, you know I have this anchors good enough. I'd take sank over starboard thing, but I I it was a crazy time to be there and we were plainly we played Jeff basis as parties
I'd like to have his party's, like, madam, like but making ninety ninety five nineteen, as ex saw the bill gates, seed elegant
restaurant I used to go to inelegant was it was really weird to have all those worlds
You know these ripples that are now affecting our entire everyday lives. Being there that moment playing a party like that just salaries, it always
me of I did not
I wrote on the script, but I didn't write at this joke, but there was a great simpsons joke that one.
I just came up with which MR burns is having a birthday party and, of course, smithers is trying to make it the perfect party form. So what
and at one point he and he books the remains to play for MR burns and amounts they got. The ep foremost by anna, had moved there till you have a good day to other than ever. They do you and enjoy. They dropped their
from its enjoy around just goes happy birthday.
Old, bastard and walks off, and they cut to mister
brunch and he says to smithers, have the rolling stones killed
and an end smethurst s service.
Not the rolling says he's just do it renders the waves and it's always loved the joke- that somewhere the rolling stones have being a hill moral, because that all may happen we have identified the rolling. I think about that. All the time when I imagine
playing or having to do anything at one of those parties. If I was-
now on the david guessing yards and told the story or did some kind of comedy thing. I could just seek f and leaning over to someone in saying. Have the rolling stones killed? Have gallagher destroy, that's not gonna. Do it have character? That's not true at all. These have jane leant, set of rules that are not affected scouting through listen,
MR reggie watts. It was a I've been blast many times in my life, but the day that you
signed on to be my opening act, and I got to go on that crazy adventure with you and then we became friends was a great great day for me and I am blessed to know you keep me in your life and let's do something together again cause. I would love to do that. Let's do it, let's open a store that sells something. Nobody wants. Yes, oh my god and see how long it takes to not sell anything and we'll get the
women in venice,
my marriage show manner because, yes, yes, ferris bueller's parents do have a child ferris bueller's half off
you idiot see a t f b. I admire that first, we would have off all right. Mr radwan,
Go in peace to love and serve the lord. Have a nice day have a nice week and peace be with you
no I'm not gonna make all the companies
I'm eliza, less anger. You know me as a standard. Comic movie is an actress on occasion. A writer and I've got this podcast ask eliza anything where you, the listener are the guest. Every week we field
Since from our audience questions your may be embarrassed to ask questions that you don't trust your friends to give you advice on, and we are here to give you the advice that people are too afraid to give you. You can find out scalise anything on serious exam, sticker, Pandora or wherever you get your podcast, don't forget to follow the show to never miss an episode.
what's the new holiday drink from starbucks, will give you a hint it's a festive twist on a classic holiday flavour meet the new iced gingerbread milk, chai spice up your holidays in order on the starbucks act today,.
We have an ongoing saga on this podcast that continue
to write its own merit
terrible, have terrible author yeah, I'm not writing and I'm just living. It remember that Jay Elmore who runs york has taken our sandwich creations and has been selling them and he has an update on the numbers. He rightly he's running actual science now running actual because
Can you also you
planed about the fact that I had an american flag in mining. Youth said that that was responsible for why I was leading sale. I think fit
use things a little bit. Ok, so because you know wherever we are patriotic people and europe had an american flag and hours had no flag, so I think that put us at a dissident. He took the flag out, then
darted the tally again good. Ok, these are jays words. Once again, I just wanted to say you made my day with the mention of the on the pie. Cast, I'm so happy. You guys are enjoying it you're. Welcome
thank you, wilfred brim. Maybe you sounded angry.
So why don't you get off your no, no free pub five hundred fifty one sandwiches sword: fine
telly so far, soon as euro one hundred and seventy two cones coin
beef, one hundred eighty six mattie melt hundred and ninety three o. These are all pretty clear. Yes and then it goes on. Ok, he said
I will cross the tuna mark today, Conan may cross to he said
madame out. These are updates as they come in madame out. Just two hundred conan is six away. I said:
Stalin take it off the menu meaning yours,
Where is this? Will ignore york lana, but let's be a little clear about where this place is cause. I'd like to make a personal appeal. I don't know where it is exactly isn't this each is one internet
I believe it is on the upper east side. Thirty
the new between seventy third and fourth, each jays, a very nice guy named J came out of
sir
diner and said hello to me, which added for little bit
when the idea for maybe these sandwiches came up- and I would
like to say that my sandwich
is, I believe: it's corn, beef, russian dressing, a whole slots, a terrific sandwich, it's it's a classing and its key
the current o or just the conan. I think it's just I'm not sure
are you saying that the name recognition is important? Well, what I'm saying is. I would like to win this one, and so I'm talking to all my listeners now, who might all know who might be in new york city, just hear me out. Ah
maybe give my sandwich, try no there in order it. And then, if you see me around new york city, I'm there a lot just mention I had you sandwich conan
It may be a get a little quick hug and a selfie. That's all my guy he's the bully pulpit like that to give equal time to us. I don't know what kind of cash I'll have on me, but I don't carry a lot of cash I'll just say that you're going to go and just buy a ton of sandwiches, probably
the lights are gonna have only well. I'm gonna have david hopping yeah go my lot of sandwiches. You have to watch out for the sooner you can make. Your plea for your you're mine is clearly the healthiest
at about. Thank you for saying that, oh nothing, it
people into a diner like I have
the choice, good job. Yes, if you
going to eat jays luncheon it cause you're.
feeling like
suleiman now.
Rush over and get sewn as jiro gyro year. Oh, my lovely pretend not to europe is what a foreign sandwich right. What were no minds, the most patriotic thing. It's called them a mattie melt, the outwits it. What would a patty mail with hawaiian brand?
yeah how's that salaries death, that that's what you mean cholesterol, fat note!
That's not the way to go peace away! No back its people into the tent nurses,
that you forgot where you were your people care in new york. They want their healthy. They worked out. The hawaiian became a state very late in the no. I asked about morals better, like the last star on the flag that
the bread you I want to make to new york with hawaiian bread, I'm covering not only the continental united states, but practically?
And, lastly, it with my own grief, I am covering I've, been just all cultures. Yes, yes, they do
people the irish people done that's it, I'm sorry. The greeks are responsible for arts, wholesome
They are you carry that. How do you know why I wish in ok? First of all, what did you say the greeks did?
their like responsible for, like modern type of civilization young. What have they done lately right,
accepts all you'll. They want have money
attacks, shelters, act right, aren't they attacked. So you know what socrates kept all of his money and attack shelter. Ok, I was his big advice to his students. Irae shelter, your money he said.
A worrying thing with plato yeah, because the? U s is doing great, you guys. Would you
yeah. You asked is doing as you'd like that yeah! Well guess what year
gyro, I think, has plummeted because its healthy and its inventor
hates america. Give the konrad brain a dry e jason had each
is luncheon at just go on by check it out the common abroad.
May I remind vermont corn
cole slaw here's my message
I say it was now eat. Whatever you think, sounds
delicious, be you be you don't fall prey to sway. Don't fall
this way he the meat.
I don't have all pretty sway eat the meat I'll take a selfie with you and give you a quick hello, I'm easy to spot new york. If you think
You see Jane lynch wearing a red wig. That's me.
If you do by mine, you don't have to take a self he was caught and get out of it all right! Thank you
We accomplished a lot there and thanks to Jay Elmore for selling a truck crane, the sandwiches in our image and there's a very good chance that this saga will actually have quite a resolution, possibly even in the flesh. Yes yeah,
You're talkin about more or less
Why don't we get a piece of these sandwiches? Sorry? I know he ended it, but why don't we get paid for a piece of the sandwiches like? We should get a check? No! No!
no nobody else. Now we're not doing us from money. What are we doing?
That's a real estate. Conan o Brien needs a friend with conan o Brien. Sooner moves essen and mac goarly produced by me, mad goarly executive produced by adam sacks neatly out and Jeff Ross a team, cocoa and colony anderson encoding fisher. At your wolf theme, song by the white stripes incidental music, by Jimmy vena takeaway Jimmy are supervising producers, an player and our associate talent, producers, jennifer samples engineering by Eduardo Perez. Additional production support by mars moaning, talent, booking by polish avis, Gina, battista and great com. You can write and review the show and apple podcast, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Gotta question for conan call the team cocoa hotline at six, six, nine five, eight seven to eight four seven m- leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode and if you have an already, please subscribed to current o brien needs a friend wherever fine, podcast or download it now
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We ve seen all the video call fails by now the mute button mishaps, the cat cameos people, not realising the cameras on when their parents are off, but none of this makes fred feel any better about giving an entire sales pitch mistakenly using a filter to turns them into an insipid see baby duck around her love, it's too late for it. It's too
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Transcript generated on 2023-11-06.