Good buddies and podcast partners Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds stop by the kitchen for conversation and cooking. We’re spiralizing noodles and talking about my tan. Plus, apparently Gareth’s mom has got it going on… and does Jake have conjoined twins??
Follow Jake Johnson:
https://www.instagram.com/mrjakejohnson
Follow Gareth Reynolds:
https://www.instagram.com/reynoldsgareth
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ZUCCHINI PESTO PASTA W/ BALSAMIC MUSHROOMS
1. Balsamic Mushrooms
INGREDIENTS:
Balsamic Vinaigrette
Melted Ghee
Minced Garlic
Chopped Fresh Thyme
Sea Salt
Black Pepper
Whole Baby Portabella Mushrooms
STEPS:
Combine balsamic vinaigrette, ghee, garlic, thyme, salt, pepper
Add mushrooms and toss until coated
Place mushrooms on baking sheet
Roast at 400° for 15-20 min.
2. Zucchini Pesto Pasta
INGREDIENTS:
Whole Zucchinis
Pesto
Sliced Red Onion
Sliced Mushrooms
Cherry Tomatos
Minced Garlic
Olive Oil
Salt
Black Pepper
Crushed Red Pepper
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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great plug bird, those of us who live on, so it's not alcoholic one love it loaded. Joint guy.
I have said it wasn't like asked we're hearing out from your we're here to help Gareth and jake. I gotta tell you jake, I am such
and of the minks. I was outside of events, and it was can't tell you what's cool about
you is you see you in one thing and then you find out you ve been in a lot of fucking things. You have done something recently that, like triggered me that leg was like. Oh, that's, fucking cools, fuck, somethin burning,
it's a great plug burt! Oh stop right back yeah, so you must have do the other and turn that off and do the other oven.
the islands in the past has suffered a burning. Ok!
I thought this house does not smoke the taxes that I think that scope. We took him out. That's great.
Does that gonna be addressed on screen,
I like this can be the halloween episodes, make it even smoker. So how do you know
no is other government.
We, basically he
The first time we met was at a place called improv olympic, so I was like improv we're going to hollywood yeah yeah for real. You know I drove past out a couple of times in my life and I was like one of our walk in the door of things. Change in my life
is that you, when nothing's going on, unfortunately most of the audience had the same idea, and they just can't drive either way and it didn't change, and so we all got a headshot. That's what happened? There was a cool
But not enough people came and we will give driving by its applause by we met
We met there and then the first and we really hung out. We read the rest again.
When there was no rest again with all that, with a great wings in yeah landfill, as
Well, that's crazy! You don't want, I think about that place, a license because everyone in production would go there fucking. He was also a place where he'd be like. Can I get a shot of whiskey and they would hand you like a tumbler full and you'd be like? What's your business what's happening here and and we
we're like hanging out drinkin day. Beers
and shakes the jet saki. I mean that suddenly reckoned sazen having by area, but it was really fun. You then here's your and then you but you're. Here we were in our own little group, but we were next to each other, but we weren't a buddy thing and then
I looked at him and I go. We should really poor these drinks on our hair, the beer and option one without even thinking he goes like this, so
knowing you as I have already met you now, and I've been a fan for a while, but you
put your hand up and then he starts porn and I start born, and there was a moment of like oh that's, my friend, women like beer, chicken, because what we are looking at each other and at the same time I would like a ruining our day. Nobody was looking. It wasn't like a big show either, and I gotta give assurances is: are you where Jacon moment wait a bit too we'll meet you? Money was the beginning of like oh, you make the bad decisions to you're the guy. I'm gonna push towards and
we just then he's a packer phantom,
bears fan, while only winners takes like checks like punishment and see this package,
so you see no, then after a while the third, I can, you know how to turn area by catch of mushrooms
has always started becoming buds that way, and then we would always use each other as we would take hikes and he would be a guy and I'd be a guy for him. We would throw situations at
and say like this is what I do. What should I do here? The business is brutal right now. What thought you meant like of I'm so off. I go see like okay on today's hike. We're we're pioneer
I wish we raised his brain and you're like okay, we've left our party behind him. We just need to find the right path. They say Miller's crossing is just as long as the other that god, what a turn it off so without smoking any more there we go so do we have a lighter in there
So why are we having on these heights and then we were like advice, buddies
that kind of lead to the idea of being part
what we were saying that even when we first met here, because the advice didn't necessarily have to be the right advice, it just now
to be something to get the ball going. Look at you you're hit you
You right I mean I want everyone talking. The world bird lives goodwin
he asked I didn't know you always told me to quit, but
You were well there's like three intervention, this out a lot of their life waiting. Now those who goes within you lose your lives. In the conversation those I've been on the phone you in the back
I feel like I could tell. That was one of those ones really enjoy your space yeah. What was that call? My wife wants a porsche, we release it and then the guy was like we're, not leasing. This will sell it to someone, and then I called Tom and Tom's like if you buy it, you can sell it in the year for the same money, and I was like oh fuck. It is, but we have a lot of calls yet. But I'll tell you this just from walking
on this fact: biogas house biot stored in a faint garage down the block alice, but I'm sure I'm sure I'll get you didn't tell me this entire neighbourhood is upon guess they it's like a lunatic back. It is, I can beat. I came in the reason. I hope I'm not a polite guy. I don't know of his wife and his kids are in there and then
they're, not here yet, and I'm like doing this small talk with the family, you you're going to an actual like this. Is it
actual alone,
annabelle people is come in the leg. You guys have a lot of people living in europe
I share your view of ours is fully catered in the front with the who s a lovely to what are your dietary restrictions. I just
we need you don't cheese and but your vague and now I've studied me. Ok, it's not anchor angrily.
You may want to be well known before allowing arrived, none and I'm gonna shit. I found a kido non jerry.
vegan. This is like the venn diagram. I know, and I I swear to god. I swear to god. I just bought this on amazon the other day and used it last night. What is that as a spiral or a zucchini spiral are, and so you go,
if this with keaney and then it cuts it perfectly into spaghetti yeah. So we're going to do a pesto, zucchini spaghetti with roasted mushrooms. Is this going to be healthy, clean, remarried, yeah really took off when we I liked the real yeah, two daughters, two daughters old.
about three ten twins? Real could join now. They're having a break
joined us a real model,
What's that about. We just love the rain this day. The thing that, like most people, say identical that you say no fraternal, I would say, conjoined twins, one out of the fucking building
and enjoy I said yes, we just get on my may. I join my that mother fucker. You are a genius enjoying what I do have the trips me out
My kids are fraternal, which means they don't look alike and I've been around people and they go. Are they twins and I go yeah? I was on a plane and the flight
ngos. Are they identical, and I look at the lady,
It's not what I wanted to know because they're twins are they identical to mother fucking, kids, look identical! I'm like this! Is it shut like that? I'm like this is shocking shocking. If somebody has remained conjoined be the first to know. This will be the first and last and I love to join. You have twins
going their separate there's no way we got yeah it'd be really hard. If they were conjoined yeah. I bring that up. I got up early, I think, there's nine conjoined twins in the world.
Maybe what is? I'm not scared them already enjoying turns on planet earth,
We are conjoined right now, they're at their shoulders, but are all going with puberty they're, just separating, as I say, once their adolescence, they start to become accredited yeah a little vinegar. They started to prior. Like super good fingers, incredible yeah,
I remember that we've got a catch phrase. Yeah yeah. I know
yeah yeah, I mean the the next batch. Oh yeah, it's been really hot and sweaty. If my daughters enjoy the vibe here shifts benjamin isn't fun. If they're conjoined weed stops being funny like ooh, it's actually been a nightmare combined, they have signaled. Do you like zucchini yeah,
I hope you like zucchini J F, goes well, you break it off.
It's gonna be running down.
I mean I know you're a guy who has oh my oh. I thought it was a fucking spray tan. Oh, I thought you were about to rain fuck, the liquid somebody touch up. Oh, I really was hoping that was about to have bird close. Your nipples are going, go fucking, congo, there you go
I, like? The area have been on the spur of the moment.
Because I already did hanging. Have you ever gone too dark on this, but I think I might have done this. One now is this:
Do not let me finally get hurt me and they keep saying no
because they presently, I think there is a racial component later. Not really does black
yeah well, you can go like really dar. You look like you've been in the sun, yeah you're right that it truly doesn't look bad. When I cut garlic, my hands do look really dark, don't they yeah and I didn't. I told him
I will enhance forms, can do little. Guy looks very white and near verde. I shall brown mechanism
you'd have to actually a crown sweep. When did you get married after the new grow?
yeah. I know you are right. When you got we ve been together when I moved to los angeles in two thousand and four and we got together soon after
So I was working at the hollywood. Part casino. I know well, yeah grind,
as an actor, and then we got
together during that period, but we got married after the pilot got picked up. No, because we finally had a I knew I had thirteen episodes guaranteed. So we had a little bit of money. Can I it's kind of like I mean respectfully yeah, not doing it right? What's? What's he doing wrong Gisela butter cookie number of times a year, I'm heating everything up in here, yeah wait. What am I doing I'm doing week,
all title my hitting the gear up. Well now, it's not that big does all this in the audience there are. The areas is on that and then ok, ok, ok, ok! I gotta, I gotcha our fine stasis totally fine. I haven't seen cooking like jazz. Oh please,
So I stopped smoking. So we I mean this- I mean this respectfully, but you never gonna get like I'm on new rural pose no fuck. That's like the fucking thing does
reason to do the show, but I did an episode and I believe there was really no. I think we all had probably the roughly the same experience and in hollywood have like going to those bars being broke. I remember I, I love when people because there's something about like
no, I don't mean famous people, but people who succeed in the business where you know you could have seen it earlier. Where you go, I met that person. Trust me there's a reason: they're working, it's a great actors Kim
pull you in very easily. That's why you guys are good actors. They just pull focus in life
like us are gonna jump on you for a second unruly hasn't not about experience you're one of those watchful people on planet earth.
I hate going, I'm staring at. You know. I don't I mean I thank you, but I yeah
I feel the opposite of others. Only why why are we watch of all human bird is most entertaining for everything from the beginning. I guess I know this from the moment we pulled in the torrent
they taught you gave us on your boss, oh yeah detour. You gave me this us every part of this and when I went on ok, so I went on the road with him like a high six months ago, and I I was
like a kind of was nervous because I was like
excited and burnt like I did his podcast and he was like. Have you ever done stadiums? And I was like nah. I was like I'm in comedy club and
I was so nervous still love this- that I forgot my suitcase in the
I didn't realize until we basically got on the plane we do we do a different entrance. That's what happened.
No different from the airport. I don't want to get in Sweden. I think all private we were, you is a totally differs on the other side where they do not live where they do like
like a of drivers like you're at the wrong place. You're like I'll get out here, and then you open this big door opens to this little villa of like private suites that you get in and he got so excited. He was like hold on.
sort of party and were like here and then and then all the sun is again
This is exactly what it is like the whole time you think I'd like to go to the trouble of aeroplanes, ghoul bags worth ts, ay and I go hey. I could go on
I on the extra regime and those like a great there are like so helpful. She runs
over and then she's like it's there
no extra bags and I'm like in the little sweet in the little sweet and she comes back she's like there's nothing in the little sweet and I go, I think, actually
I left it in the lived. I think I'll have my stuff, no fucking, so I got it. I get on the plane attitude guy by new. No clue here. Again, though, is does the bing, where he'll get really men from the pilot thing, we did he'll get really hurt and is going this region
things where the director wanted here s a jump off a roof. I'm always bad attitude, he's good edited. The guy goes
spray, you with a fire in the face, you're gonna go backwards. I go fuck off due to you. First guarantee those. Now how to teach us of a room is just move under my couch cushion. His finger was like this.
In both the short and others and go straight. Gareth was going where there is no one gets. Fine. Words came shoe data, so you didn't have any longer, so I get on the plane. I have no luggage and then the next. What like a piece fuckin losing his mind,
like laughing real hard and I'm like having sublet lack, and I'm also just like what what will I do but like I
need every now and then the next.
warning so like I'm gonna go to target by toothbrush by a couple of things and I'm on the bus,
It's like. Where are you going and I was like target and it's like I want to go to target Burton target everyone's. Just like burt, oh nice, three ovens, guy amazes Christ, and it was okay, but here's the thing. So I travel with a guy. At the time we were traveling with a group of seven who know they know comedy, but they've never met someone like gareth who had it is always a joke, yeah totally and I'm pretty funny around them, but then all of a sudden they meet Gareth and they're, like so entertain like, and they pull me aside privately here's the thing
human being alive, but also I mean, but everything like even like the most serious moments. He still had a joke going off and he became everyone's favorite. We need to get gareth on the road. More often
easy going through some of their wives she's like see he should come over there and I can t
down the need, and I met we boy like was content, so
You say I kill and was carried out at the end of the show wisconsin green bay when your favorite tongues thanks so much
he got his easel, just like at the end of the show is just like and give it up for
If you're, one of nine thousand music, your very own gareth reynolds he's a packer fairly as a packer table, and then he goes, and I was just standing there like what the two sides- oh yeah, and also he's just like the us- and you like, stood like this too,
turn around your base, our view. I just jos learning now figure. Barons later I had a half full room at rooster, t feathers! So that's
It is wonderful that god they don't work. Semester, yeah mars in leader, is very strange. Guy came and tell is so one kit, one kids get a butterfly landing on his nose. Yoga kids get this bottleneck care where's got this thing.
Is so fucking awesome. I obviously area zucchini passed in miami,
in real. All you want is the thing to wrapper on your fork: ass, a delivery beth I mean, I would say: zucchini posts is good. Regular passes a billion,
was better James. I never gonna change that opinion on today's something's burning
while excited further health option of us
I think this is something we all love bidding on matters of Jesus Christ. Let me do that at that age could eat leukemia today, something that louis, you right
go home. They possibly shit who we want. We want to ITALY, we got a pastor makers.
possibly a man. You may I say that there is any get me we will definitely we presented. Who does everybody baby laxative tv? May I go home. Baronets mouths are not abused and work with other factors. The new
that
I thought it was sweaty. So though we got the electric bus, we got a electric pasta maker and we made pasta, homemade pasta. All you do is put the flour and an egg in there and it just does it for you. When the shoots at outlets we made every fucking night. Is that easy? It is so easy and it makes authentic pasta like real pasta, which is healthier for you,
gas and but it just just listen it's so fucking good. Why we wish your ethnicity, hungarian, jewish rush in polish irish, oh wow, out of
this with all the other girls. They try to challenge you everything anybody's ever to kill which made jake lighter. Wouldn't you I know you are you're like fuckin, see through being english, transparent, english, beautiful mother, the english.
what interests lacks over there, but I mean I don't wanna. Disrespect pulling out is not a great way to put its own. Just let's I mean that is
compliment. You have arrived transitive, jeez, another woman, attract, didn't we
fisheries, by put more amateur it keep moment our coming later coming up, which is why it's you met his mother
What do we do tat? I guess we're in burma so about the past may go wait. We wait one so get things wrong in my mind and I did pandemic and hand dynamic early automated do upon cars with his mom, and I was like sure what I didn't expect
from fire, we're doing the thing
now for a mamma. What would achieve only about knuckle, she's, flirty so
despite trap, cheese, Bonn s fisheries gear,
whereas I get older warner. I wanna dance like mrs dogfight them is his down your gas. It now seize the day.
personally, I she's a wonderful woman,
I wonder if that's a compliment yeah so anyway, I'm english to answer your question. Burt, oh cool yeah! We got, we got there that quickly superfast prize picks.
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fantasy sports made easy? The level of hubert, bert cause? I've known your story for a long time, starting with being the hardest part here in college back then
well, you understand, then, that there was a strategy to what you are doing or was that rolling stone article a mind, bending experience where you said there is now a whole new galaxy and I'm running towards? No, so
I had never had a plan in my entire life, including when the raw article was written about me, two or three men that I really I really respect in life. My uncle jerry, my uncle benny And- and my dad
for me that this is an opportunity that, if you don't pay, if you pass a londoner relating compete on attack me, if you don't go after this yearn, do you mean you're doing this wrong? Do whatever you can
I tell you this is going to sell so fucking silly, but this is the thing I look at like a guy like you and you both that I wish I knew how to follow the rules enough but be myself
to be able to work, but also that the work on the world's she's gonna sailing- you also reminding you of a movie about a joke of word- affect vodka, is not going to get up. Whooping honest to god that you ve, created a whole new galaxy. Now warmly do the whole chain
the game, if create I'm just follow your interest. Cigarettes is a warehouse.
nor can it ass their area and its and ruins shocking births. Marriages romans one world as well.
you d hard twice. What exactly are you get a limp and the middle he saw. You be buys aware of your great shit. You hold on your dick kids hard.
The dogs getting hard. Then you have, you may have flown tank for that. Is that what it is? Those guys are like,
I'm doing that on a little level where I'm like? I just want to have a safe place where I can come fuck around be creative. Well, that's also like when on the road with you not to bring that up again, but when every day he's going to shoot something. We talked about this a little bit, but I believe you have the power to change your life. If you want to know the second biggest moment of my life is when I got fired for fucking everything- and I was
and I'd, but I didn't have the ability you had to go there. You find what was every travel channel? Oh yeah right. There was like the big thing in my life. I was like I'll be working here. The rest of my life,
Why were you in absentia? Excitedly? I was getting on many occasions. I wanted it.
I said I was when we worked on the travel channel. All they talked about whisper.
ability to be like all this easy ass. You know I'm you're just a lot of work and as I am what you are one
I know you are you are one hundred percent. You know what I love about. Garth is, I think you have it's actually gareth jake calls me god. What does your mother call you? Because of that?
other calls him garvey, and then he got mad at garfield guardian social
it's a hot english lady that part and then we're doing it park in the middle of a pandemic. I'm dying in a pandemic right. Well, don't say that, but yeah some people have a knowledge of. God is amazing. God works in mysterious ways: yeah
yeah yeah, I guess none of an show. I forgot where we stood Dinah valley, I am guy, and how did you meet your wife? She was a bartender, the cabmen fiddle, which is a great store which is we'll tell about how arms tell
when the full story about where I went and I was working with a gun and scott kimball. Who now is the show runner logging dead, but at that
we were all just at the improbable once again a place you drive by not go in, and I found
the guy out of new york, who is willing to pay me to write an idea based on a comic that his and always hustling, I'm trying to find something, and so I was gag.
at twenty thousand dollars to write some idea- and I I knew Scott was talented. I like I'll, give you half just help me and he's like okay, but we can't write in your report.
And because I was living right in hollywood and las palmas? It's like it's a shithole. I was like. Let's go to the cat in the film I walked into the cat and the fiddle and the bartender. I had this really weird out of body life experience where I thought that's your partner and when you're with her everything's going to be different, and I don't have a lot of those and I went
oh shit, so she turned around and I smiled like here we go and I had a mustache now we're gonna casino
dry and align green hunt. I accept- and she didn't have the same moment
How can you move that car, no industry even worse? She didn't notice me
when you like, make eye contact your like. They don't see me, and I was like that- that's my person, so I went to every single one of her shifts and because she was not sexually
attracted to me. She never thought I was there. So if she was talking to let's say gareth, I listened to everything she said and after about three months, we had a moment together and I'd remembered everything. So I could connect it
is almost had groundhog. Yet we re was yoga. She said she said she had an aha moment where she was like. I really love jargon. I've been jogging around John Marshall high school and she goes meat
it's just because I'm training for a marathon. I go I'm training for a five game. I wish I could do a marathon and she was like that's amazing. I go ahmad in Chicago and she goes like. I went to chicago art institute and I go no kidding and then I go on my main passion is like dogs and dog rescue
mine and we had so many aha moment here. We fought
Do you know the drink case?
can you you got the bottle of here we go.
So how long without alcohol burn two hundred and thirty pounds, and he said what, where you right now, I'm in the opposite direction to seventy one stories, you already: ok, so
will you run down the two remaining energy, thirty and then to thirty august, giving a hooker
This may cause I'm just not just by the way it all up and you're gonna do thirty used. Our drinking water is gonna happen lamentable observing.
here's, the torn every hundred. It actually makes me because, when you're on the route you gotta give yourself that road buffer, I need, you needs hand of having long grown. So if I get the two thirty
How am I gonna get to forty and I can measure it and I would like, and then I can get a two. Fifty me like. I said
can lose that way, but it's easier at home too. Now, like you, go home and you just like lose weight sleep.
Yet in better shape our way in your way,
most must be true. You have eating thing. I
I don't have any of this, but it's not because I have a problem with uganda. We are referred to as weird anorexic common interests. He is just a form of dieting
I'm. Not that way
now it is like this is basically anorexia like I want, like I yeah, throw it at you, that's wrong. You think I look good enough tonight. Diet
you're very nice things, eggs ever nicest to me by far we have you.
a problem anyway jake I always get fat
When I got a new girl, it was my first gig that was agreed
funny with a real job. This year I was driving to my wife to a mexican restaurant in glendale. He hated mexican. He was still lying.
In my head I was thinking, chips and guacamole
marguerite as my manager, the damn gregg walter called and said fox just got off the phone. They need you to lose fifteen pounds or you
was the jolly syria as.
do as I sit up that fires, they just said you are you needed to lose fifty pounds. Go there like we might want to build a you in this always characters.
Which really does she knows on the new girl? She was an attitude one. Yes, she is from the start, talking worth every goddamn penny, she's great, that fucking check mandeville pancho. She built it. I was basically
a real. We all lived off her message than they show that I know max. Greenville, demolitions, junior families, juniors funding downwards a killer, lamborn moors hannah Simone other guests, stars on it we're unbelievers was a fine user. It was a really nice
I remember my phone I get to see if you were in something that I saw and I dont want to ask you to send its color. It's ok, I won't be offended and, though about white, I dont know the right. Now, I'm going weight was that you,
ask him. I don't want anybody with gibbeted movie with her with digital movie yadda, what movies a diversion
I'm not gonna. Do you really wrong while you're gonna forget zucchini noodles? I do and I only be way the aging running through the end, the areas where then you can barely grew mars or whether it was a great heralded cover three day christmas
which I remember being familiar so excited to this issue,
it now, even if it isn't you ve gotta just
now you gotta lenient had of yours and I hope to god. This was you, I hope to god. This is you. You have to say that you are one of my favorite movie. What you're one of my favorite movies that still to this day is the best trailer I've ever seen in my entire life. All trailers should aspire to be this trailer
It is one of my favorite movies ever when is it let's be cops? An amazing, let's be cops, is so fucking good idea. Then we see that guy. I don't know
did the box office, but I saw I wouldn't saw it for it then crazy good will.
Hated it and made over a hundred million, but it was so fucking funny as binding. It was shut
whole premise. I I'd swear to god a handful of movies do about. Have I seen the trailer and on wednesday seeing that movie.
It, was saved by damon wayans jr damon wayans jr. So I went up to him at the at a comedy club love him and I
It's like dude, you are, let's be cops, is one of my favorite pocket movies he's a killer. Yeah he's I mean it comes from
saint Mary and he is a killer, a killer.
rob reynolds a killer. Keegan Michael keys is a natasha leisure owes a killer. Was it could group? It was
Damn it cause. Analysis will know that as soon as I say that I went you're talking about the new girl, I forgot, Damon wayans Jr was on it and I was like wait. I remember when I watched that movie someone's like oh yeah. Those are the guys from the new girl and but the whole premise place is so great they're looking for halloween costumes and they and he just comes in it's like. Let's be cops. What's so funny me and my buddy Croix will go and get right.
and right by where the the eats ie tavern and once again receive yeah right by that emphasis on the Y yeah choice. Yeah
there's a uniform store right there like right now
the big shot, how's area and we bought scrubbs one time and went to a bar as
as doctors gonna, just like like fuck round, and we just had so much fun as actors,
like us. By acting, I can stop blaming guys we're not rush blackness nor plating, and then we can have a meal under
lord ravenel dragon battalions conversation. Look at this
in your work in the restaurant going. No, no I'll look at us with clean off with a napkin ask of you, even though they do their part. What that I mean the fact that you're cleaning the sides
We know enough about it. I've never worked in a restaurant,
I I was a waiter once what did you got? What jobs did you do before you? Nothing
I was a caterers. A waiter did a bunch of construction. I worked etiquette
and my big last job was working at the hollywood park casino. Before during the pen
at during the making money before the pandemic. Bird Jane died during the pandemic, but the grandmother was three years ago by the fifteenth time. At the end of my game, my guy says credit when the movie was in black and white, and I was in it towards the end guy that I'm looking for a few more kicks and punches before I get out of his fucking nightmare. I bet I bet
you know and when I quit bulger was big and everyone was believed that costs money. My guy was we were you then early, remember,
joint, more table games. I used to play with a company's money, so you'd have played it up, not cool poker. I would play table games. So
table girl people give me money in this area and I would said there, so you guys got all play blackjack and then you could pay me to play against all week.
Oh, oh that's right! In california, casinos there's always somebody sitting there with a box of money yup. I was that person with a box of money dude. I knew one of those guys he was on a game called, beat the geeks right and I knew and I'd known him and he was like I played for the casinos money. I was like how fucking crazy it's called network management. It was a fake company. My my boss was a pimp. It was all silliness, but you know it was nice to be in.
casino and make it do a day job. While I was out there, that's fucking awesome, so you have to play at nights right. I would do a. I did a graveyard shift, so I could audition and do shows with
it's that boy. What a great turnouts little salt and pepper are to assume for every one of these chef who offer solid peppers. Look at you. I can do it yourself I'll say when,
thanks guys, you're gonna do it. When I'm romantic agenda, you gotta get outta. Here, it's called edging salt edged. You could never ends up under those videos on board
like nosing and then you're like just jack by the way, edging is like right before you know your basically like yeah magic yeah goodbye. Do we give you silverware?
Lange, grandly albert yellow bird. Well, they only my eyes my pigs for housing. I really only knew you because it makes up- and now I realize you're, one of my favorite movies, fucking great, with one of my favorite fucking human beings
as surely as, let's see how it tastes and ooh ooh ooh. Really great man really great. What could your mom cook growing up as it's going to be daft tough, reject yeah? She was the best over real. Well, like british meals, I mean yeah, there were the british meals. It was tough. Was your mom connected to your group of friends? I don't even know what that means, but
and send you an adult and not how I meant it. I'm actually just asking to rid the fact that you're, not looking at me, makes me think that you're fulla your mother, cycling, you look at me when you're doing there was a guy right, buddy mom, like air, who parted whether light you look like a blind eye. Right ties, your mother. I give your mail gruber front. What mail just got weirder german party with doing abroad. He's that's exactly the question I was trying to.
But you can ask, hasn't, looked at me and nine minutes their finances weight,
to party with you guys well bert, and if the answer is yes, I'm going to explode. Here's what happened. My parents put Jake leave the room, my mum,
and my heart is my parents got divorced real early like war, not really does have needed more. Can I talk to you?
add to that other neuber owed much. We got a great agreed fit. My parents can worsen as thirteen fourteen pam got bored Jake you promised
you'd the holding out more staff
What was the reason you're looking at me now is driving me nuts. What's the reason don't look at me again is what I'm asking for is the reason for the divorce us. You know you're close to PAM say like being stifled was
It is worth what for fuck's sake.
Your grave skinny read. Well, I was running on justice, guinea. Nobody, I'm in ghettos,
Oh, my spoiled
the best, the best thing to sample that all migraine shock.
little girl. But again I say that I think is
Yeah, you look good. Why am I dropped dead anyway? I never knew those. Where are you
lay in a very weird they had a very
weird marriage also
since that when I was seven, they said there are getting separated until I was like fourteen. They were kind it but her, but they can't, like my dad, an apartment good for
stop. I think you think you're genuinely asking, but your fetish sizing it. That's that's what's happening
leaving a brief, your I'm genuinely afghan and then, as I hope, we will carry out under the fast version, but PAM set at seven year out and then for the next
many years? Oh man, I know what's good for fuckin path, not the way to converse with you,
Your brother rights who gets yemen- he was twelve years older. Of course he was
There is a dial. The commentary behold was good, my dad he was the same age, you does it,
your brother outside, as my mother, but about anyway,
Usually I dont know how it happened, but I must add, really big jacques garfield static,
I think that is garvey wasn't a day. They didn't even have sex uber them for staying together for twenty four years at least well, that's true. It was a nightmare and on and then so. Essentially, your question was what did my mother party with me when my parents got divorced,
I kind of converted my basement and, like the party done a boy and then my mother sort of was like looking me
either way because she was out of my mother like stole my cigarettes once and I was like whoa whoa whoa and I was like six data, those I think we have the same page and then we were like smoking say.
Around each other yeah was. If I meet, you is like English, so they were kind of like what has the vibe I'm talking about its tradition, to go to your schools, homecoming football game, but is a tradition for all your professors to assign group projects the same week? Get everything you need for your tailgate without the trip to the store with doored asked god I loved or dash known. I was a kid remember. Someone pitch me toward ass, like when we, when the internet first started now that you're telling me that I'm just order my groceries online, that I'll get my food online yeah and it's amazing get back to school savings. You really want and get unlimited free door dash delivery with the dash past just for ninety nine a month for students how worth it, how worth it so worth it was zero dollar delivery fees, exclusive items and more than twenty five thousand member only offers nationwide dash pass by toward us
Has everything you need to make this semester memorable and you can even save more with an annual membership less than fifty dollars a year for unlimited, zero dollar delivery fees? I am getting that for georgia, Mae crusher, I'm getting this for my daughter, georgia crusher might as well get it for our fuckin roommates too, because you know they're never going to be out like the I'm getting that. For my daughter, this is brilliant for a limited time. You'll get fifty percent off up to ten dollars on your next order of fifteen dollars or more when you sign up for dash past student plan and enter code burning, I'm doing this that fifty percent
off up to ten dollars on your next order of fifteen dollars or more when you sign up for dash past student plan when you enter the code burning, don't forget that code burning for fifty percent off when you sign up for the dash past didn't plan subjects to change terms, apply famous. I don't remember I mean probably new girl
Whenever that started, you think that's probably think I know
no money. I was grind it. I did the Ashton catch him over.
are the no strings attached and I remember my agents called, and they said
like hey man, so you got the offer to play, you know ash and his best buddy and the vibe was very like sad and I was like okay.
I guess it's good news. I addition for I've been rightly like four times and has a great and they go their offer in thirty two thousand dollars,
They won't go up anymore and, unlike our stuck a deck fora,
get out. I guys say no more, I'm very excited, so all of that was of grinding can reject the jagged. Then I wouldn't work
within that went to new girl, which has sought after will marry one error. Rather, you wrote that movie and then she created new girl and she texted me on the moon
They can. We fix what did open with new girls hog checks with deadlines in their life, and will you audition for my tv show fox just picked it up based off this weekend and then he got it and then right so that its pilot that it's like two serious gets picked up and then were I mean again, like you're, probably getting overwhelmed with shed at that time for a text that little bit gone like
I was doing and Jake's like one in the week, winning the we also need the time selling to the grinding loved. So it is
shows like winning the weak. Winning the weak gets a second season by the third season. We would go out and it would be like he couldn't go out route. Yet was like that.
It is when tv was the buccaneers. He wasn't. I only was only as a last chance, so we can pour
beers on our head anyhow, but the
the grind of creating something and I'm having this with our podcast right now, because I'm so new to the podcast. I mean I'm I'm not kidding when I said I knew how successful you are. I watch yourself. I am a fan. I honestly thought this was
families home you didn't know podcast times realises and now as were created, one it's just so fucking barn, like I told him about the idea for it. Maybe two years even pigeon,
for a while. Just I was like you and I would fucking crush like an advice, call it
like audience generated non alot overhead.
oh my god days, but by the way in the way it's been, the collars are the funniest people on the falcon
do they are? We are doomed to gather somebody, we talk and will be looking at other. We have to tell you what we like shut up. I'm oji many tat james, like not out of steam rise for lines that have from the first one I was like. You were right out the first dated fourteen glitter, those so usually get. You will make sixty five right away like he was again because it's fun and unlike
gone from a fuckin closet in my home and I'm like what
a gag and then fallen, and I'm like you know when sometimes when you sit down and do a podcast you're like alright to hear this is always audience
so you just like other pillars here the killers in that.
Kind of the gang of livers apply life.
We get a lot to him like twenty minutes, the you get to go
way. Why didn't you man,
would still let in this podcast you'll, take it on, as my daughter hold on hello. This is what I'm doing a part. I'm doing us on this burden. Does she know about the oh shit? Might be tan or I'll? Call you back when I get done http yeah. Can I have dinner right now sure
you don t like without number you mean you won't ever do the thing you ve never done before. No, I won't do it
he's gonna coveney voyage,
won't be overly sensitive today, without all the time what you have without me and then she'll be like I was hungry and I'm like, but
We the whole team and what did she? Last night I had a sinus infection and I was trying to we went to the sauna and I was trying to open up my sinus and all of a sudden. It started draining, and I went oh nice,
when I distance blown out my nose. It's yours, whoa, whoa, whoa, someone's in here with you like, for she is a fucking weird,
at the sauna. Armor rocketing is my rose amused to just behind millville
use email deal. What is not wrong, I mean all the time I saw a guy. I'm a truck stop the other day driving and this guy was nettie potting in the pickle it's one of the best examples of many parties pretty affordable,
it's great, but let's keep it for your throat
Well, when you miss the window like era,
blow that out in a minute there's nothing, whereas that, oh god and then
we'll just be sitting there and it's like you're twelve thirties here. Can I tell you what I really wish I wish I could pull the front part of my face off and look at my nasal passages. I wish I could see my nasal passages, I'm dying to see. What's in there, you can do nothing great
I bet. Nobody knows you don't mind. Gentlemen. You can do that is to my father in law has polyps in there deal with those are. What do you mean little bumps? He has actual it's almost like yeah, it's like so it's it's foxes, polyps in your nasal cavity. You do not want that shit.
Or refer to me to ask Jake, and I thought those are asked. No, no! No! No they're like they look like a thousand warts in your nose. I guess just the worst and so like I am but I'd love to look inside my nasal cavities I'd love to. I wish you could go up there yourself can do that.
I guarantee you pete. I dared to peak and find a way for you to look inside grown over him peter. He asked me please.
important votes lives or agrees, cost era stenographer figure to there's a nasal camera in vietnam will go and do your picture.
Yeah never seen that they go in what they long fucking needle with a little blade on the.
it's like you. I know he doesn't want to know that. I don't know how you go the doktor. Never
his goodness yeah. Never, why did you go to the doctor? They start picking apart your dead in six months. Next thing you know they're going to camera, you a buyer, because I never wanna either I go every six months
You are another cardiologists. Every six months can delegate z. Do that you have other doctors to adjust the car,
it was cardiology. What did they say about like when you're going out on new years? Talking about everyday, your daughter said every day is a party to the cardiologist like right on cause. I gotta tell you that
since the payroll gurry also has a party oncologist E. I went to a sad doktor once again ensured for removing the sad and I just started- that's the fastest physics,
every year, but I was also recently testicles kind. I didn't know that, but I think this is a great opportunity I get to see like all the rest of the doctors.
go in there and they go like hey. Let's give some things. You smoke cigarettes, mongolia.
Generally goes down and want to pakistan agreed smoke. Waiters like every day and they go to
frank I got like ominously now I get drugs are not really just we these days and then they had kept going
The guy goes. Ok, great! Do you
stand where you are. Sir
I got. I got him at a doctor's office and he goes to your doctor's office to get insured for a movie. Do you think I should turn this thing
and I went by and then he goes dummy to re. Ask him to go. Yes, please do smoke and I go like not for me.
it gives me. We great answers I and greater answer those
hollywood boulevard.
for her yeah and who would set a real quick. I should plug it with europe name of the podcast we're here on why we keep seeing
holland. I mean we're here to help is always so we're here. How have you guys? Let people know how to how they call in thanking colony, helpful, pod, gmail that calm and again we're not trying to solve the like dire we're trying to go for, like you know, like river?
real problem, no call don't call. Well I mean we've had a couple of those and we try, but the fun of the show is a trivial problem and we're on your team.
We like that. You have some fun and we have some fun. I call him with my problem. Please love! Well. Would you
be aghast and like hell, I would go on. We do away too. I have wait a problem be way too
this too. We do that away. When I didn't college show it was called the morning nudge nugent
night nugent night? Well that was underlining the need to balance higher than nugent night,
good talent, let's rework the title as a jewish word for like a due to kiss a bothering, you right, you would use.
You were behind your life is like a joint declare, knowledge. There was none,
night. It was over the river
nine by miss, lay like online w like a jewish thing and gather bother, you wouldn't stop asking over the real niger
geez. I doubt people not just in my life to step up the big over bonds of amerika.
Firstly, a pebbles roma. No thank you. I had to take jewish battles
I wouldn't do image mellow and I was done with it. I m sure bibles nudge he's really loved it
like all jake's now talking, which is problematic. I made my judaism started when I met my data, my twenties
where we really do you like roseanne bar, I want mine, is more
I now identifies I'm older than my blood, but I'm gonna. Let me in that committee
quickly. I will you try and if someone's against Jews are gets me. I'm with that. Will you tell him about your dad rilke lack about his nickname
Why is there? Then? We of course his my father, would now pascal blossom was nickname crackers and crocker shit.
Because he was on the thinkable, a good salesman and everything was a cell. He had a car dealership on the south side of chicago a buddy of mine who his dad owned a steak. Restaurant in Chicago called gibson's. One knows with his dad and I go so you one does take place. Do you remember a guy with a big moustache at the corner of the bar?
It goes like the guy who is a whore monger and I go like I believe that was my father. My dad was so fun was he tall know he was about nine five, ten, the little guy big
mustache sales in commercial with pippin, pippen and horace grant thrown away.
Bobby ideas that we go. She cheval age, swish share, shot,
whose rather will guide flowers putting dad's or videos carried. There is a great man. Why did your parents could work
I am looking to bar when you
oh god problem and you get the hell over and over my dad, like huge, whom lucky for media, but, like me
You know he was like evans and fun and I think that prompted the separation, and then you know it
at that time, I was scared to stop at that time. It was. It was like they explain to me what an upgrade stop agreed. Stop it. I'm done it's like a sensitive moment,
something's berne and you ve been a camera that I just got a word it right there. You don't even know the title new, I'm just doing really really etiquette camera here now really stupid and don't want to scare you guys thank you produce very disbursement by for the hardest I've ever left over some.
it's by far not want to smoke the rest of the joint, the cigar out back? If you guys want to join me great episode, great episode, everybody. Thank you. It was a blast
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Transcript generated on 2023-09-07.