The nobody, why would we have genuine I am now I'm off the sauce for how long it like a fuckin permanent thing seriously. Maybe what happened? get anything done man. I tell you this year, forty, I will wait. turned forty. Yes, we are recording twenty three seconds perfect you. I turned forty in november, We thought you were younger than me now, where the same age

yeah, I mean I'm whatever eight months younger than yours. I said I want I'm dying to talk to you about I'm dying, to tell you the rumor of who I have in your you as being in my head, like you know how like, when you're, by the way, I'm sitting with Brendan walsh, fucking, so bad it is podcasting shit that yeah that's what listen to a few of them. I mean I listen to like you know. I don't know how far you get into those minutes tops and that its first of all, like I just found his new system level later. That gets my levels before I brought tripoli, and here I I know how We can have coffee here, though, god like he's on stage at the comedy store this balances it out. Yeah. It takes all your loves and puts it all evens. Everyone sounds the same. Oh that's good! I dunno anything about this technical shit. I don't really on my podcast randy takes care of it also really yeah yeah, we were pretty. I sat up. Actually you can you know it's not that are expensive to get like. You know like those

arms at them. You know they have it the idea that a bit then about then it gives like when you're staring at it all day like you're yeah, then I got a fucking podcasting thing on my main yeah, but everyone's like don't get me wrong when asked like themes the man cave like when they first came out to do the design they're like what do you want and I actually thought what if I had the ultimate anime podcast, yet hadn't even done a podcast, yet yeah I'd even been on like rogen yet, and I was like what am I the ultimate podcasting studio now in retrospect, I wish I'd fucking done that podcast. This is dope but yeah. If this is, place where you're going to come and chill and stuff too. You don't want to feel like you're sitting in the fucking morning, radio. Yet it's fine just having this kind of subtle on the back. You don't really like see it. So we. What were we talking about? What we'll remember before that? And while you were talking about how awful your podcast is oh yeah, how bad it sam, tripoli, yellow, incredibly elliot levels, know I've been tying the fucking talk, oh but you're, forty, so well, almost I dunno should we be advertising that I live in. Hollywood gives a shit about forty. Forty is a fuckin. You don't want to have a meeting

I was thirty nine and a meeting with a new agency or agency and once my new agency- and they said the greatest thing- I've ever fucking heard they're like you just turned forty you're like common One you're real voice is a comedian you're really hit near monies you're you're comin up to that knows, I think about a billboard, louie fuck it up seinfeld, all the great didn't hit their stride until mid forties. You don't wanna be of talking. I do never thought I'd coastal areas his show is organised and his dirty habit. It was the eighties, so that was when forty was really thirty, five or so so like. I feel like, I feel like we're either Gordon definitely coming into our stride. Now. Here's what I this has been the thing I've been dying to talk to you about for how long so like how long have I known you? Maybe I mean yeah. I dunno just couple years are just few years I have known of you more about ten years. Yes,

im. Here I mean we circle the same kind of, but you had like a legend about you and there was like a lure that came before you even got to l a when you were in Austin that, like in the myspace days, because you are in like dog, stand, hopes top ten or wait. God, then you know how I dunno did you alright yeah the top? Oh yeah, yeah yeah? I forgot about that. There are going to really wrap myself out for being total fucking content. I am because I I there there was and is not there now only because I fucking made big strides to not accentuate this part of my personality and I'm sure that this rides in every fucking but like there was definitely a keeping up with the joneses of where a car was versus how many friends he had on myspace, whereas who he knew who he worked with what circles? What clicks like they were like there were like solid clicks and stand hope in the myspace days, especially, was this clique of like fucking great comics, that

if you cycle what can work with a one- what if there was, but he was one of the guys that was santos buddy- and I remember him telling me like- I forgot what I was talking about my act and when he was like I snorted cocaine on stage life, and here I am talking about- I mean: what's that name's around like a twelve year old. I dont use and yeah I worked with him one weekend. He was a fun guy to party Andy right, yeah, india, interesting yeah yeah. He was a fun guy to point out. He had a great time but up, but it's so funny, because when there's a comic that like that people know of, but they don't know yeah, I almost become exponentially better, though right, yeah fucking insane sean rouses the one tat shone rouse, got their reputation of bite and will never be any does he does for you to do, but, but she roused came with this fuckin legend of like he was

is crippled Lenny bruce the motherfuckers on the neck non stop and you couldn't get too close to him because he was fucking. He had a wild smile and there was the picture of him getting hot put into an ambulance right. That's when he what would happen. I think he thought that when he fell down the stairs either way he's such a I want to focus on us- and I heard no last night thursday, friday. I did a set, he was there really is. He still do stand up yeah. He took some time off right he's. You know, he's got a lot of fuckin physical problems. He just got his knees replaced so that a that is a fucking. That's good, though. Lastly, I went to mean Henry phillips drove to dogs to stand. whoops for super bowl. Maybe it was the superbowl yeah. It was probably a super bowl last year or the year before and rouse like I mean for him to get from this chair to that door, which is you know what twelve feet away? If that

No exaggeration, it would probably take him to get out the door and off your patio about almost ten minutes. Really I mean it was, like he could have walked like you, you haven't had almost a fuckin sin. That's almost a crime, the back an avenue a dude near, but was it was amazing, as a user nice guy blackout, drunk bite and people in the face and bars- I mean I mean why god was a good slow down for a little bit, will give them a brilliant comedic mind, but we're going to hawking's the fuck out of his body. He was bad. I remember I remember him. I remember he the line upon a hollywood improve the first time I ever got to meet a guy and his name, who, like me him daniel tosh and zack? Alvin access were line up and we want to fuck a monstrous obama. Wife yells, like you, gotta, see she never scenes. Action finds act when it all improvements achieved literally did not even giggle attacks material, though these laughed at his last

That was a was an well. You know it's time to do laundry when you get out of the shower and dry off the shoe she laughed and she was like okay and then tosh went up and just made fun of me. Didn't even do a search, your ooh, a bird ooh, no one laughed, but he thought it was funny and then he did something you're with didn't and ensure rouse, went up and I'll show blown away by his meticulous yeah of like of sensation, steer state presence? Oh yeah he's at the show that we, on friday was, like you know, wasn't a clovers at that hollywood hotel. The old ramada showed please do for my Young referred to that, take it as it is. Sure tonight's value, but its you'd out, there's people drink in talking and stuffing moved by what cha cha goes up. It's like you so. doesn't feed into the energy of the room and psycho out looking

in a tv like I it's just such a like. Doesn't change. You know, he's not going to raise his voice to fucking, get people's attention rise like this slow, methodical. It's like a he's like a dexter of comedy like where it says he just gets an errand and eviscerate the fucking crowd. That is the he. He really is someone. I. I hope that whatever such a brilliant dark, so fucking good, Ivan fuckin him and then and then he had this legend cars- tell liked him too, and then you came, you came out to l a you guys were all in austin texas can remember bob bigger staffers, all friends with you guys and bob bickerstaff. You should speak legends about how great you guys were like so like I'm talking to I'm headlining, I'm fucking just had kids and I'm fucking broke his shit living in hollywood and august. All I see are these posting pictures of you guys part of your dick off and I remember being so jealous being like fuck and like the dude, I think the doodles

What was sober at the time and like when I was featuring and it was just like I was like fuck and then I went, and I saw you the first time ever so you just end up was at the laugh factory. Okay, you just moved out I want to say maybe- or it might have been right, but I was coming out for stuff for the year or two leading up to me moving out and I came in and I while I was a dead crowd, I think I was doing a sat there too, and you did your gene hackman joke of an eye bugging and I bit a bit hard as fuck yeah. Why what it was like holy shit, you mother, fucker teaneck, is when he's young, because you hadn't

If this doesn't, this is totally fucking non sequitur, but gene hackman define my success as an entertainer in hollywood because he didn't start getting famous and to lose fifty yeah yeah mike. If he can do it, I can do that by me and my buddy obey our booking. Guy was gene hackman, who at least will have gene hackman that I would call my buddy opiate as I'm walking out the door to caulk all over your leg didn't realize what a big gene hackman he worked until now that pig last bit and I wanted to go up onstage after you and all. I could think about I can your world just got rocked by the false death, there's only two comics that have ever done that to me where I can't stop thinking about their joke, while it was deja vu and that that kid with the the kid with the dog down syndrome, but is the autistic dude that does stand up, who really fucking funny dick yeah, a guy crashed me for wanting to go to the movies the other day or ask my friend if you're wondering

in this article get going polish, my robot. That was that guy's name like John John Paul, jean Paul shit, I don't I don't know. Do man he's funny is funny: shit, very, very there's, an obvious amount. I hated the random I'd like you to do that. Maybe he's doing a bit less able to bear by him and every effort almost gonna fish like what I always whenever this guy's name is. james, Earl jones or john array, or two or three name do got a cut knees. He's alternate ring a bell. I mean I dunno, maybe maybe I'm just blanking but yeah. So so that was like that was, like you, you, I think consistently have been the definition of the dude who I like you know, like you knew of well before you ever knew, and then you are also the definition of the dude and rh. If you're not talking about this a lot, the guy that I was like all you have to be

it's nice to someone and then you can be friends with them, as opposed to you've been in a secret competition with them rate their careers are and how shitty yours is yeah and then letting that spill into the first time you meet them. That's that's something that yeah you just have to fucking learn at some point unless you're a guy who, You know one of these success stories out here where it's like, oh yeah. He did for open mics when he was twenty four and now he's on an NBC show or whatever, like Donald glover. Why don't I by the is amazing if you ve ever seen, one stage is amazing, stuff, it's so true. Really I have seen them. I was just saying what I heard a man dj: the phone for the record, everyone. I said one thing about hungry last week and everyone's like fuck, you send it to his faith. Take me back

I know Donald glover is a very sweet. I bet we could sit here and talk shit about donald glover for three hours and you won't get one fucking know, that's not that it gets. I I am friends with danny. He seems like a nice guy. He's a good eyes? I gave us hope of august. He just teaches has been extremely successful. Age or there's a lot of guys like that, and you can't that's. I mean I went through that I started late with how many foregoing I was almost thirty years. Twenty nine! When I started and was the restaurant late. I started at twenty six rep. If I had it to do over, I would have fucking dropped out of highschool when I was fifteen and started if I had it to do over I'd be dead by now from fuckin drug overdose, but my folks would have nice houses. I would have you know. Bag up and felipe are models yet I'd. Never I do not see that I see you getting tortured in philly. I will you know what it's I've changed quite a bit like I lived in austin for eleven years after felt. Well, I left Philly right out of Y got a job

bank in philly right out of high school and just fucked off there got fired within a year and I was like well, you know I won't do that anymore and just started. Traveling just went like live, in ireland for a while lived in oregon for a while slade pussy in ireland, outgrew irish girls, don't let you fuck them why this was ninety six playboy was just legalized there, the year who had real but yeah. If our ireland's, a very religious fucking country, I almost fucked a girl from ireland, and when I was in scotland, yeah and patrice O'Neal was in the there were really thin walls. Patrice O'Neal o'neal was in the middle room like the middle living room with all my. Our bedrooms were two wings of this really tiny living room, and I mean I'm telling you nothing went sketchy at all. She was definitely drunk yeah she'd been crying when I her, but in the middle of of like hooking up she started crying and go. I started going I'm going to die an old maid and an old maid, and I heard patrice is fucking cackling,

here and I'm fuckin with yeah, so you are in I mean yeah. I did not across the board, but it's like there was a, I mean yeah. I didn't. I didn't slay a lot of irish pussy. There I mean I did either I had photos, twenty two or twenty one twenty two and you have no, and did you go to college I dabbled. I went to penn state. For a year and night filled up you community college, for, like I shouldn t once you are you no fucking, you have no nothing! You just get. Nice is go, look at amsterdam for awhile lived in ireland and then that's right. Do I would leave philly and go somewhere I lived in Oregon for less than a year and would be like. Ok, I get it this is this places great. Go back to fully see what's going on there and go back to Philly everybody's, exactly where you fuck and left them go in exactly the same thing. its failure anything I don't know what I'd do any guys. It's any doubt you go and eyes. Oh my

guess. I'd hang out of fifty four, a few. You know for a month or two and I'd like I, while everything to say here, I'm gonna go to forget ireland out there preserving greatest decision if you're fucking twenty two years, all right now. That is the greatest Decision you can make in life because of what you learn in those places and the stories you accrue and how it helped shape. Who you are and who is you? you pay, for it will end up having a world view, especially for young kids, not to sound like a fuckin old asshole, but what I've got I've already. They think it should be mandatory right out of high school kids should the fucking go. Like you know. I, like kids, will buy a backpack through europe in over twenty two countries and it's like yeah, but you were there for eighteen days and you've drunk and americanised, I'll. Give it to every can t J, ai riding in the records, and

it's different yeah. So I mean I do think that you should be forced to travel or just to get some kind of worldview, because it's the people are just so. Americans are just so wrapped up in themselves and and have no it's legal age limits out in Europe. I am no big Ben lake, but it did you, give it not even get out of the country gotta. You fuckin go further. Ten square blocks away from where you hang out all the time. Ledges, there's so much shit out there. This country's huge, like it, I wouldn't fuck in new york, go to blake upset. new york eaten and later we live in a city. Grassy fill up, say, pennsylvania, zero catchy is fought gap, a member driving through their what I'm going to college and being terrified of white people. first time in my life was like these: do it or not, the white people. I've ever seen me up like put yeah. I know your san but yeah, so the I forget retiring you're you're in twenty two, you gotta. I would do so. Yes, I would move places for brief amount to tie

like a year or less and then I go back to philly when I was doing that. For you know a few years, and then came back to philly and I had I was working in theatre back then not like. I was an actor or anything. I was carpenter and, like a tech guy, you know stagehand I built sets and fucking road manage the tour chose stuff. So even when I would like fuck off for like upwards of a year, I could come I can call them like hey, you know you they would be. I would always have and the last summer went back I was just like everything. Was you know everything again, exam we like. I really spent very minimal time there over three years came back and it's like everything's, exactly where I fucking left it. I had a friend who is going to Austin. She had just bought a house down in Austin. She would go there in the summers and like one gone asked in. I you on leaving it in ITALY,

this is before. Austin is as hip as it is today. Definitely was. If I mean it was still like this is you know, probably seven, eight years after slacker came out. at that kind of blue austin, wide open where it's like whoa there's this place, we can just go. Fuckin hang out near the off yeah yeah, and I and it's a great place, to live the I mean this was ninety seven. I moved to austin my friends like she was going to come to austin check that out. It's great. I had actually been through there for a night, with a touring, a play that I was with Adam and I wanted to you know I felt like okay. This is I'm like twenty three now I should probably figure out what I wanna do. You know she's kind of get in some direction of you realize you're becoming area

it's listening to this there. You are becoming very gene hackman, like they're, the I swear to god, every eye, every one that listens to our group of friends, podcasts like that that small community of podcasts yeah. Ultimately, I get a lot of emails and im sure you do too about people. To get into stand up and go out. I want to do what I want you know, do you have any advice or whatever and all of them are fuckin twenty five twenty six year old who were like? Is it too late and you'll, and now you're going?

come there Gina he started at twenty nine. I can do it well, yeah if you want to live in a one bedroom apartment of eight hundred dollars in the bag. At the moment, yeah sure everyone has eight hundred bucks. A pack, I remember one time at a frank, Caleb moody whose knowing of successful actor- and he was he had just had a kid- I think or something, and we were coming back from a poker tournament and he was like dropping me off and I was drunk real fucking yuck. He was like I'm broke man. I shouldn't say this matter of fact: I'm sure he wouldn't care if he was like I'm broke and negative kid come in. I'm just fucking freaked out man, I'm freaked out, and I gave him this really moving speech about how I remember that time. My life yeah when George liam was about to give birth to georgia and my and I had no money and I called my dad and he laughed and hung up and he was like, and then he called back he's like you're, a man welcome to the club yeah and hung up again and I was like what and then I felt crowd. Like a wonder, you look back caleb and you realize you know. Like I get this moving speech from where from the mountaintop I was sitting on air, I swear to god. I walked in the house only and told us we were broke and went what the fuck

you could have told me that we have no fucking money. You need to start selling a cd or something like. Oh and that's the best. You know you're going to wind up with the best product when your seat is made by diapers. When I edited it myself so fucking bad recorded the laptop yeah. That's where everybody, the diversity I remember, pete, was hail regarded for years recorded six. I dislike it, as did you get along repeat we added. I got a logitech vaudeville I guess it is addicted me I was I was this close to punch him in the fucking face one night and I'm not even a violent guy anymore. He yeah. He was he loved me. He didn't. He loved me because of Bobby Kelly. He loved bobby Kelly and Bobby Kelly told him that I think told him out of school, then so so we got along, but that night I could do over an hour? All he cared about really was solid drinks yea totally guarantees like if you can do over an hour, fuck yeah. Do it to an hour thirty I'll, sell drinks, all the time yeah, so yeah I got along with be fine

Some balmy just like use fuckin busting, my balls from them. I walked in there and you know what it is, but it's it's, what are its whatever and I'm sure this is all I'm sure is speculated for me. But it's the same reason. I don't hang out at u c, b mere. So whatever that I look like the guy who made everyone's fucking call highschool a fucking nightmare yeah. Maybe I don't look like that as much now by definitely grew up. Looking like that, and I definitely look like that in college when I started comedy, I fucking looked like that, and I guarantee you and in that makes be guy like this guy right over here. I know him I can. I can, I can say, is like the kind of guy could be another. With like never let it out it does everything. we have a gay waiter. They look at me like when you know it, but it's like the same thing is it. You know, like you, also that he saw used. He didn't you know it's just a bully he's a bully, basically

whether or not you know you if somebody if at pre, judge you by your looks saying. Oh, this guy looks like a bully. Yeah you're, not I mean now they have to do, is fucking talk to you for two seconds: listen to your fucking squeal giggly, they're, a lap and has granted by everybody being travels around the country, needs food in the jobs out of luck and chairs on. This is he's alive other. I would never forget that fucking comment oozes as clown bert. The cop was like. I replied, it's me yeah, so If he was a, he was just a bully and he fucked with me the whole day. The first time I was there. I was featuring for tim northern never meet him

at that great guy yeah super funny, dude yeah and I haven't talked to him forever. He left me a message while he was, he was a ride really liked him, nor that I was great he's. One of those guys that is like just cannot get the personal side of his life. Gather like he's a fucking chapelle level. Funny guy doesn't not dirty. Not you know, I mean he's he's a good cop, just compare him to michelle's big's big reach only for anybody to say, but he is a funny dude and he's really cool and he's really fun to hang out with. I worked at cleveland improv with him one time all black room and- and he is not a blackout, The final stretch of miami us and we had a fucking commiserating weekend where we just hung out and just fucking. I think he was a big drinker still is probably maybe yeah I mean that's that most of the catholics that I got to know really well who had the big swingers. So you go to you, go to Austin and then and then

after o re after so after all the moving around go to Austin, because I wanted to go someplace where I was like. I want to go not like put roots down, but like I'm going to go, move to a place, not just any. Was there any part of your personalities? I definitely went through this in in going to high school going to college and then moving to new york where you wanted to, change the way people saw you before now. I'd ever really had any kind of like identity crisis they like. I was never like. I dont. You know I never had any kind of labels in high school, and so you know got along with everyone. Like I mean I'd, guy could be a jerk off. for whatever I had my little clicks, but there was no you you couldn't period

We, like, oh he's, the fucking J o. You only hangs out with those guys, I've friends from you know like the fuckin stoner guys in the jar guys. What are you know? Basically, if you fucking thought I was funny and you like, if you ve got it and you can make me, laugh them we're friends I'll give a fuck. If here you know I don't care what you know, what what kind of fucking deal you have a gf. If we relate, then it's then we're cool. So I didn't really wanna like reinvent myself, but I wanted to cause Billy's a total kind of place like I knew I didn't know what I wanted to do. I like playing music. I, like art, you know I can paint and fuckin drawn shit. I like doing cartoons and and comedies something I thought of. Oh just any kind of performance filmmaking I just interested in all this stuff, but I really know what I wanted to do and I knew often is a great place to cut your teeth in, like as it had the support of community of.

if we're in philly. If you're, like hey, I'm a hey guys, I'm going to do stand. Why you come to see my show fuck, this fucking guy dickie, eighty or funny you forget, better, ok, yeah will come off fuck up. Your shall orders got that men men,

tonight, I'm not shitting on my friends from florida, but there is the definite like I didn't have the kind of friends I am. I said this tilly any other day and not that, but I said I had my most people's definition of the word friend is a guy who supports you and helps you grow as a friend and picked up from the airport. Mightiest definition of the word friend grown up as a dude. You, let call you faggot, like that's, who that's what we were was huge and that word was ingrained in our head and old alike at a very young age, and then, once you learn a word that was stuck there and then and then you and then and then I never had friends that were like dude. You really funny. You should try this. They were like who the fuck. Do you think you are right, so I had to move to new york to start stand up cause I was like. I need to go to a place where no one knows me and people go. Oh, maybe is funny. I mean my friends always said it was funny growing up, but they never. They were like you're funny to us yeah. I got a girl that told me I dated a girl for five years,

am I in I broke down one night in bed and I told her I want to be a comedian. I really want to be comedian and she said: oh honey you're, not smart, funny you're like dumb funny one fucking, then you should be a billionaire that pays well but yeah. I know what you're saying so. Then you go to Austin in them I just I didn't even start. I lived in Austin for you know, five years about before I even started doing stand up really yeah, you know I went to a couple of open mics because I didn't know. I like the girl that I moved there with. Did these like puppet shows and stuff into like these weird kind of puppet shows, and they would do my bar, so it was. It wasn't like for kids do whatever they were calling in and I would open for her sometimes but not doing like stand up. I do like these weird fucking characters or you know, act like I had a fucking brain problem play songs on a keyboard and- and I

you know just real kind of performance already, but funny stuff and and and I had gone to a couple of remarks at that time. Like. Oh well, you know. Maybe I can do this kind of stuff here. and I m just wasn't. I was like factors seen these guys are all bunch of fuckin on funny decks lake. And I'm friends with a lot of those guys now talking about like cause. I know I got airbags out of austin fit. Well, that's what I got back into it. When I met him. There was like this new wave cause like I walked away from the clubs and then again I was like twenty three I'd have fucking huge chip on my shoulder are those that funding is fucking out a plan. I thought I was gonna walk in his open, my sway, and then people be scramble in the fucking. Give me money in cotton tobacco. I remember I remember thinking that it when I moved to new york and acknowledge that people are gonna have to offer me a pretty.

Ideal for me to start doing standing cause. I was I was in rolling stone. I was a draw. I was a fucking draw so, but I know exactly you don't have to hear, and I and I did you know to not to toot my own horn, but the first open mic. I went to did really well. I well remember. I didn't really have like jokes per se is kind of like bitching about stuff that other mere. I only remember, but it went overboard. Edna afterwards handful. The comic sue You know who were there came up like allow or even doing as you move it as a good tonight. It's my fault, I moved here like two years ago knows how crammer stolen round I they were doing awesome stories at that time, okay, so Jesus Christ. How do you right know like twenty six at the time now? This was probably ninety a sort of twenty five here I just started. I just started I started stand up in not for I was just graduating college bogart, a larger area, eurostat for him for an cover

So I went to these open mics and they were like oh yeah, keep coming back. There are other open mics. I was like okay and went to a couple of others, and it was like this. Comics were very welcome years is, could you know howard beecher, the giallo car? o j eyebrow children, a journal come you. These are These guys are all friends with me now, but it was like they're all about five years older than me. Maybe it had been there like in the comedies and then there's a cocky twenty three year old guy who's funny. But I wasn't, like you know very social with the and so I just felt like they were fucking me like a chauffeur it might be like you know what the lists got full and like I'd, sit there all night and be like. We can't pull your arab sorry like too many people dropped in here, and I just like fuck you fuck this

condemn seen on the end, and you know it aren't you I'd rather it'll work. I don't give a fuck and I also thought you like all these open might. I would go to our just right: new shit free twice and I go, and I see these same guys go and do the same job with a fucking. Do I urge you to do this? labour shit last week and the reason I can't go on it. You came in to do your fuckin groundbreaking, sean connery impressive for everyone, and I was like fuck that noise and ended, so I can do and should it bars like weird fuckin, like a title

If I can dress as a cloud and like just all these weird characters just to fuck with people, I had this goal to have. Somebody beat me up after a show, just like I was like. I want to push people's buttons so much to where I get the shit beat out of me after a show, never happened. Thank god. You're here about army corps in harmony, Korine tried to do a dre documentary about getting beaten up cause. He thought that the ultimate the ultimate comedy was tragedy. Yeah yeah, to watch someone get beat up. You can make a comical like fatty, Arbuckle, yeah yeah. Now I am paraphrasing off of something I might have read, who couldn't possibly dreamt? Okay, but he so they they got to talking about the thing and they talked to him and then he's gone off to do it and then they come back and they meet him in the hospital like so how's it going, and he goes, I drastically underestimated how quick it was to beat up someone yeah who can't fight.

There's no yeah, I mean in the movies- and this isn't yeah everybody's heard this before, but it's like those fucking ten minute long fight scenes. Nobody can fight for ten minutes. You have to be in peak physical shape to fight for more than fucking, like three minute. Yes, It's like I'm there's. No, very rarely is it a fair like back. for the change outlaws. It's one. You know like some rather like shove, in pushing punching a one. Guy gets the other guy on the ground? And it's just like fucking pound, then that's it like somebody just gets power said he said there was like he'd, go up to bouncers and like try to be funny and slammed And- and he said he shot here like- I guess him saying you felt like seven fights, ten fights and he had maybe like fifteen minutes of video for this documentary and the last fight. The guy knocked him unconscious, then propped his foot up on the car.

and the craft fucking shit, and I was like my now once again my eyes at either no fuckin recollection of where I read this or how I heard of it. But that's just to me if I was like I've seen fucked up shit, like. I grew up in a weird neighborhood and a buddy of mine. I, though, one of my best friends growing or I met him in high school and he lived in an even more fucked up neighborhood than I did in which grow up. I grew up in not the north. He's a taccone mayfair section of fillion, and my buddy John lived in Albany, which is you know, is way more fucked up than where I was from just like a lot more assholes a naked. His group read like funny guys, who literally are like. I know it's a cliche, but I don't know how many of them are

dad, maybe only a couple but there's a handful of them in prison like they're just that and they were like funny guys, but they were fucking psychos like they would rob people and mug people like for fun and, like you know, fucking just pick fights with people for fun, curb guys, like the same as the leg thing, but break your fucking tipped out of our head for fish, hooking dude. It's I it's like what I realized. I mean I dunno I dunno if there was like an actual turning point, but I was just like I don't. Fucking belong in a ship because I'm going to be the guy getting curb one, Why am I may I? Can you know what she is at this point? If a grown man with a five year programme

It's kicked by anybody, but oh yeah cause they're like strong stuff. Some people practice yeah yeah. That's that's from the fact that there are people out there like that practice fighting and that I think I'm going to hold of phuket. What I do know- and I said there's a very long time ago on something I'm sure I've settled on something but now, the drop in traffic and I get really fucking enraged and I want fuckin and it's a dude, oh yeah, and he starts talking shit. I let him get the best of me publicly I'd. Let him best me so that he feels vindicated in talking shit to mix alert with them when they're doing it I started kept blowing them kisses and making the blow job. I know. No, I don't care, I'm not. I want to look like he flustered me and bested me, because I know that if I endorse that behavior he'll continue that behavior and one day he'll run into somebody that beat the living shit out of him yeah. So that's the way. I look at that now so but yeah I

I can't I can't I'm not of his fighter at all. No, I don't want to. Although I have had a few incidents lately with the there was a guy that I fucking he pulled the biggest dick move I was. I was waiting to turn right. I was in lend our fuck him yeah glinda, no document now burbank and not a matter, stop sign. Gonna turn right and I sat there for a minute. I think I was it. I had to meet somebody for lunch and was just make sure as you know, in the right area. Looked out for a minute before I turn this fuckin cocksucker mercedes behind me goes around me, and I start I start turning two and he goes around me. There's a parking spot there I was going to take goes around me. Then jams on his brakes and gets into parking spot, and I my head almost fucking. I was like what the fuck and like pull up next to it was like you, fucking cunt sucker you, mother, fucker and he's like gives me the finger and I just like I fuckin floated up the road found. Another parking spot park ran down

I was gonna, for I mean who knows what would happen? I pay he got out of his finally went into whatever building you who's gonna be ip probably got ran like you know, oh fuck, this guy is going to kill me and he could have probably killed me like you know, but I do get this explosive temper, sometimes lot that I lost that a lot. I lost that originally, probably two thousand and nine I'm going to know the date, because it's where my hour special came out and I was- and I was doing-

I was doing the show with fairbanks. We did a show called reality bites back me, Schumer rant, Michael ian black and yet Michael the black hosted and we were all driving to go. We were driving to go, do a so you think you can dive. That was the segment and I needed a bathing suit. My sisters had my bathing suit. They lived above the starbucks on Detroit and wilshire. I dunno it's very specific. That's a starbucks, so I drove I lived on. Detroit was my drove down Detroit to where they were I'd actually do a loop drove up Detroit to where they were. Their apartment was, and I kind of blocked like two spaces, but I was just they were just going to have in the morning. They were just going to throw a bathing suit on me, so I black two spaces and I get out and hop over and they're there they throw it. I catch. It

in this time a dude in a teal. Bmw has a hissy fit that I'm blocking two spaces and he starts like, and it's a stick. Seeking year ago, like he's like like trying to like really fucking pissed, that I don't notice any of this, but I do notice it going on what am I hoping anybody get my car kind of back out get to that light on detroit and wiltshire? Now starbucks on the corner, where everyone's out having coffee at seven in the morning. All the alcoholics, so he comes out and he starts saying something as he goes into the starbucks I thought now when I tell a story when I told my wife, I said the wrong louis, he looked kind of like louis ck. Sweater guy was louis ck, but I thought he was saying hi to me. So I rolled down my window when I told my wife we understand by the right or even story with you and I brought my window and he goes learn how to drive us all, and I go what the fuck did. You say

and nobody could have been louie, my wife, my wife's going Louie Anderson, so I wrote I go what the fuck you say he goes he's gonna drive axle and I go what the fuck and I throw it in park. I got the car, stand up out of my car and for everyone, and I go step out of the road and and be a man and he went and what design- and I was like that when talking about then I thought you want to fight, he could have all my teeth and I would have had to go to fucking tb showed no teeth. I was like that. I have done youtube with Michael Ian black, though right now, what what's like? I worked with them and I loved. I really got a genuine kick out of him, but how did you guys get hooked up We did a couple of festivals together and you know what I think the yeah. I know he talks about that. I think what my what didn't hurt we did. We did aspen together and we wound up doing this like twitter.

Sure where, like both of us run stage I'll, remember our, but that was our first interact. whatever we got along and as a fan of the state and say Well, obviously, I failed estate yeah. I was a massive fan of the state. So as a matter of fact, when I was in college- and I was right after I went to russia and got involved with the mob- and we backpack through europe- and I got was in greece- and I ran into the state o That's why they did it hugging the reporting in greece near I was in college and I fucking mess and David Wainwright like had beers Joel,

it was there and I dunno. If Kerry kenney was by, like all the holes, yeah yeah said I think I read some about. They did do like a backpacking. They did like the same thing. They went across europe, one and so, and so that was my connection to them. When I met as a matter of fact, David Wayne was my only contact in new york. When I first moved to new york to even stand up okay, I called him up and he said yeah you can come down we're doing the show stella. Oh yeah, I'm telling you the free tickets, that noted state of solid fucking, janine, groff, loam, all those dudes, and he was like blue blue. My warrior so but but but we done so yeah we did. The aspen thing met there and then, and while the montreal that same year doing that tape and a h b, o stand up, show funny as hell. It was only on in canada, which is kind of great, because you get paid the same. It's like no music.

it is canadians, are the fucking best yeah. They love it. They're, like they're, they all have fucking money. They go out to she shows in droves. They support the living fuck out of us. Alright, I fuckin, I mean I kind of wish I was born canadian, so I can fucking. Do T v shop there yeah cause like kenny and spiny, have ever seen that yeah yeah yeah fucking great. I love fucking love. Canadians, that's a great view toward their little ah yeah yeah here and there and not you know. I think I do enough. There actually because the play you don't take, vancouver montreal edmonton Adam another factor, Calgary I've done a couple times. I'm going. two where's rumours when a peg winnipeg I'll, get it. It's fucking awesome! Yeah! We're region

anything, although we were doing work taken this show, is you know I could stand up, show an he Michael was kind of just getting back in to stay up, I feel like I was there. I don't think I don't think he started until he was like in his late thirty's hee hee. c d. From a while ago, we had done stand up before, but it was in his eyes. No, I didn't listen to the cd, but we had talked about it but our city a while ago, but yeah. I was never really his main thing, so he saw me you know we can You know bumping into each other and saying I and an uneasy. Every time I saw him, I was kind of just like rearranging mice- are trying to figure out what I wanted to do cause there's only like a ten minute spot and- and I wanted to you know I just kept flip flopping on what I wanted to do, and he said something like is I go or you will you everytime? You see you're worried, you keep just writing new sets or whatever, and I was like nah, I'm just trying to figure it out and- and I was like, but I just took his xanax. So by the time we shared

I'll. Be fine, no matter what Adam and he was pretty. You know he seemed a little worked up as like. You want a xanax and he's like yeah. If you have one so I gave him a xanax and then a couple of weeks later I get a direct Siege on twitter is like hey. You wanna do a bunch of dates for now while the money with me- and I so that's what I think he I think what it was was like. You know he had to do a bunch of club dates to get ready to to do this. He wanted to tape an hour special and I think it was just you know him in his agents or whatever we're talkin. So could you want to bring in, and I think It was kind of like well. You know I got along with this guy. He gave me his addax and he's gone a lot over a club experience like yeah. You know I think he didn't want to go to like just like preacher. Why are they all went through legacy could have easily just taken like jesse.

fine or canal, or you know just why those new york all people that that fit that bill, but I think he you know it's like he. We were going to places where there were no hipster. There were people refilled like we did fox woods in and fuck it. We did some weird like florida, dates and stuff where people like oh who's, are. You know they'd be looking at that bar it'd, be like Michael ian black, oh yeah, he looks very end. They oh Jeff dunham's next week, like those kind of places where they'd be like. Oh, my god, valeria cable guy was here. He sat in his name bar now does does does here's the thing that frustrates me about standup? Is that- and I and I don't know if this happened with Michael Ian black at all, but does does his public persona of who people perceive him to be affect, where he writes or or approaches the stage, I don't think so. You know it's it's weird at any to finish. I thought to like it

it is kind of like I was kind of like this bit of a comedy sharper for him in clubs where you know where it's like yoke is he's work at ease the comedy clubs that he any any he didn't grow up in them he doesn't have any real real perspective of of oh fuck that crowd yeah did you get your bottle that crowd right, when he was in a very you, no solid protective bubble of like stella. The state like he could, probably you know, sell out a hundred see theatre thirty days in a row in new york, Jonah, whatever stand up but yeah, but his his abroad appeal he. He never really tried that out and but he was massively successful in a broad appeal in the v h one. What yeah? What was the eighties or something yeah remember an elegant ed. He was an ad. Oh he's got you like he's got a photo. He was the. I do remember the yes, I know but

at all pets, dot, com or ca. I got a million bucks for that. I remember asking I dunno: if that's talking to, Scooby I was fucking. Twenty years has got seven hundred thousand for the talk talk about this, what I love and people, tommy, but I got everything judge of the earlier argued by went down. There and out of it now, but there was just a month ago, every single person. It came up and recession, or that I matter wherever popped into my head. There is this site. I felt like a Google people's net worth what oh, oh network doctrine. Savers sunlight

it's not worth dot com, I do it over where six million is that what some of them are are not accurate, the one that that I google, okay yeah, because because my name came up, google, I fuck now I'm selling a fucking bag. I sound like such a nice bag. I will tell you candidly: when I go to someone's house you can google, depending how much you paid for it, yeah yeah! That's that for me that access is an like, like it's just like out, fucking a active beta? And it's weird like I mean that's, I'm curious about stuff like that just cause. I am massively jealous past, like high school. You know I'm like. What's that costs like one hundred bucks like I No idea what shit costs and stuff and and also what people are worth, but yes, I was doing that for fucking everybody, but Michael's like he. We got along great like he. When

does have that very aloof, yeah kind of a personality, a lot of people dig. You know he could come off as a as a dick, and I thought the whole wife and kids thing was a joke. Not that I mean I always will, because they would talk about it like installer, Michael and Michael, have issues like there were. There were every now and then it'll be something about like his wife and kids, which would be in a comedic thing, but I always felt like That's hilarious too. There's no way. This guy got a wife and kid possibly be gay, but I can't see this guy raising a charter. Utopia, behaviour, it's it's a whole true, but real fuckin super nice. We got along really well on the road and yeah we're still it is, you know it's only. We talk on the phone all time, but its lights away, all of its kind, a worse and worse out a badge mean henry filter,

I get about that. The other night clubs is one of the funniest to henry's one of the funniest guys. Henry is one of those guys. That did something that I would never do, but I was so grateful that he did. It was in the road in some fucking shit town and he dayton oh yeah fuck that date near shit down. You know I was it was day while insane I was it the funnybone. He was a wilder and he texted me or like hit me up on twitter on them. Was like hey we're both in danger going to go, get lunch as a case like bring your feet dropping mine. So we were the four of us got lunch and we laughed so hard. We almost got kicked out of the fact that he is one of the funniest fucking deal and he's got the best fucking stories, his his short about the the guy that awkward, oh yeah, yeah yeah. I I do not know how to say. I don't know where to tell you to find this other than it's gotta be henry

I didn't say you know what he's got a youtube channel, which I think is hand lips and lips yeah, just Google Henry phillips, the fuck was, it was called the loser know it was called the loner. The loner yeah there is, I'm telling you it is. The fight comedic acting in writing that I've seen in a short in my entire life, the fact Have you seen moby no, have hunting with our heads and found out how you'd put an watch netflix nights, really great yeah he's one of the nicest cause and he's another guy like he was a bob and tom guy that, like there was a big bomb and tom group at the time were like blowing up when when once again I was doing the fogging heading, four, seven hundred dollars, fucking laughs, unlimited and just and would give me their booking forwards, but guys doleful money from me back as such a douche bag,

That's that's such a leg. I know we can get off our topic. I haven't been on top at one of the worst fucking. Think of it in europe when we started talking about like you know that whole negative feeling about convicts and stuff like with you know like shit talking or like you know, which he and your saying you got over some you have to get over. You can't you I totally over. What did I mean? There's always gonna be like fuckin, but you know what nobody told on to had watched them ship bag, so out of fuckin show without an act. Indeed cook success but you know what innovation all over dane cook like. I had this kind of enlightening about six seven years ago, where, because I found that I had a little bit of a nervous breakdown at a certain point, was as you stand absolve dogs house note, we learnt another room. I heard one time the day that is hitting you. I said

semi. No, no, it's a wee tie yeah. You brought it up briefly before it. It's like it's gotten way, credits yeah that that's not the story we can talk about later, but and the fact that cause this I found out like every time. You're hanging out with a group of comics or people after stan hope show spider. I was tour with dug a lot. Then the people called going to talk to you. They just want to talk. They don't want to talk about people they like they're, just they just wanna talk about fuck min seo. Fourteen cook and I've found- and it was the same in like you know, my social comedy circles, and I was like wait a minute. This is such a fucking negative existence. Every town hang out with people. I wound. Would you saying shit about people? What do I care if being cooked cells, our madison square garden, every night for a year? Will that's not gonna make me go. Sorry ma, am we can't listen, you're comedy we already fuckin bought one so, but We go back to do that with what I was talking to

wait the other night, and he was saying that's like one cool thing about comedy- is where, if you work with a guy was and you get along. You do your friends forever like reveals each other for ten years. It's like oh yeah, fuck, oh yeah, we worked while he used to work in dayton, for that is a really that's a really cool. The problem is when you're like an I'm. Definitely I think I suffer from the fact of being a big road drinker, oh god. Well, that's why I'm laid off the sauce is that it was just getting unmanageable at a certain point. Like will you know if I was in your shoes, it might be because you have to be responsible to a certain like you know you can at hole up in your apartment and fuckin binge for a couple of days. While I have a life that holds me to a certain level of responsibility. Yeah like like she knows that when I'm on the road like his arms and legs,

She'd honor, you don't get justifies, don't spend time declared money just drink beer. Shoes has dodgy shots, jobs are fucking, no reason to do them. I stop doing that. Awhile ago by I switched to. I would get a beer jameson on the rocks it sip on that life for awhile. Oh all, and then it got to the point. Where I mean I'm just I could drink a bottle of james, Let us put a brand new one, yet Well, yeah! No, and that's it just yeah. You can't fuckin wait for or where to live. It's like it's like a guy, I ultimately your chase, your dog chasing its tail and you're just trying to level out like a trust me when I say, like

the day after I come off. The road have a fucking serotonin depletion: yeah yeah, I'm sitting there white knuckling myself, beating myself up for a million fucking things yep. I the the whole thing we talking about about about, like I've, definitely gone through nervous breakdowns and for very recently I felt like I was on the verge one like very recently. I was waking up during the travel channel. Show I'm doing the undoing the road when my weeks rafts like when you got a family, I got a family, I'm writing a book of a documentary. gay, like Alex gay lover, this fucking god damn pod cast. I could have started all over again. I will never forget the targeted fucking fuckin rogue into good. Ok, MR for the top me no event it I'm glad I did it because of like I'm a man.

You would never get to like hang out like this for like an hour, but you know, and and that is awesome, but man I'm like I got robbed. I started waking up at three in the morning. Every night, with this, like an energy like a vibrating energy, where my mind was spinning, and I and I was awake and it was spinning, I couldn't control it and I was like yeah. It was shouting out shit. We need to do shit. People are saying about us like bad stuff. Now dignity and I was like, and I was trying to strike it from my brain and go like get out of there. Man, you don't need to be in there. We need good stuff like I was thinking. I too fucking dream. I had a dream one night that woke me up about about a dude breaking into her house and then me capturing and then holding hostage alright and then I woke up- and I ain't fucking talked to myself for fifteen minutes about holding this asked yeah yeah about what I was going to do to him and how he was going to fucking teach him a lesson. Her son, I'm like fifty minutes later, I'm like wait, am I really talking to myself about and imagine

dude breaking into my imaginary imaginary, such a negative spiral. You can easily get into an and I do think I'll call. Ten lens ended at all. Because it doesn't address better, just filled with fucking sugar, that's going wake up the militia. I do like Ivan either drank fur I may attire since new, but lucky less than a month few weeks now. and which is that's an extremely long run statement, but I'm still I'm staying up. I fuckin I drink a twelve pack, a lukewarm Do you ever get that spark? Oh yeah! Oh. I love that. That's a great if you're trying to lay off the booze, that's a great thing, because it's not like sweet, it's almost like and it's something you can just compulsively drink. Like last night I was upright and all light, and I cause that's why like I have this relation with, writing and being productive like when I get in ironing gideon I'm like oh nugget, and I start fucking people online and shit. I just get this crazy entered.

That would be me at my desk where my computer smoking a cigarette and edges. here like aouda drink until I can't write anymore and that's last night I was doing, but with this can sparkling water and I'm sure they got my windows open stuff with my neighbour heard product has got a fucking good. You can hear like aids like every like twice minutes. You know you hear the get up and another one hang around us and it's like factories. Anything besides alcohol, like that. You know that if someone telling you like twenty secrets, but it doesn't. I may not that am I going to know beyond these guys who don't just who don't just over nuclear drinking minutes but has become recently very successful. Oh there's a direct There's a I mean by directly reflection of that direct correlation with its own.

I know I used to be a fucking cray or not. You don't even have to have a reputation as a drunk, which I know I have you know, and I've been associated with tons of people yeah. I would like to have fun, but there's a yeah. The people who clean up their act. Just a little bit like our euro. A tv show now realise that We were at a party, and I said so, I get a beer and he goes I'm good, and this guy was a big drinker novak. Has it really he was like yeah, I said okay, so I went back and I said: did you quit drinking? He goes no marched on a beer and I was like dude. Can he goes? He has. He has a devil, don't tell anyone cause, I might start again yeah yeah and I was like I respect that I respect I like whatever you're going through whatever. However, you do accept that big stretches where I don't drink knows how I lost the weight because I just had to go through a big period.

like a man I gotta clean, my shut up now now? For me, the road just kind of ties in with its that's tough- and I have a lot of work coming up this month, starting this weekend through fuckin may We are great america and hollywood work roadwork yeah and that can be challenging because I do want to stick to. I took a break a couple of years ago from the drinking for later five months and you know gotta say: forget everything got a lot easier in Portugal earlier- I didn't have to pray. I like. I never got the press all that beaten yourself up and any cheated it seem like there is more, I think, give off like a more qaeda life, positive energy, so just try go where all this call shits is me, I feel great all time our brains fired on all cylinders, and you know Obviously you know you just slowly gradually, like our era, we always get a drink ground. You know

anything. The thing is: don't beat yourself up over it like just do do what you're going to do? Well then, this is what I did. I dunno Jared fogle medication for depression or anything, and I don't like Much as I will say, I deal with depression, I don't really deal with yeah like I'm. A pretty like my version of depression is like I'm on the road for four weeks and abroad in a different country. My sleeps fucked up and I miss my kids. Yes, oh that's real. I think that a real the letter that I don't do it like and two reasons, you're supposed to have emotions now and and it's by nooks and crannies, that kind of defined me, but I don't feel like I. I always say that for people that actually deal with the depression, I don't really do it. Why did so? I started drinking again? and I m here, which I love. I mean that's, actually you know what I'm doing it right now stuff now and there, like you know, what made you get into comedy, I'm like honestly, fuckin free beer that lives huge fuckin against, instead of any like and stand hope kind of

pick me up pretty early on like I was only doing coffee for a couple years, maybe when he night, maybe two years when they. Let me for him at the club and I didn't even know doug was, I wasn't like lobbying, but they banned me from the club, because I did all this fucking crazy shit. I didn't know how comedy work and I am a harbor to host the show- and I was just do it all. Is I plants in the audio Why is the whole fucking Andy kaufman style, the craziness I was doing you're like you, fuck em, see you can't do this shit. I don't like you wanted to see me. What's a feature we talk about. I thought I got. State time at a blow I learned it now came at the art. The way banksy came at fucking art. You know, like the thought I was like. Did I like fogger with people I'm a week away? What am I supposed to do? Talk talk about fucking, monica excuse me what the fuck am. I supposed to believe. The answer is yes, yeah what you to do that, so the clubs like you know, we love you by your fucking asshole and I so then my phone

it's like you know a year later or a year and a half later and margie from the club at Austin says Doug stanhope is here next week cause she did like me. I don't, but they were just like you can't fight you're, too much of a fucking nut and- and I and at this point I had started because other local comics, like fairbanks and stuff- that's what I got back into it. I was Do these shows around tat? These other guys like we had strippers, and we showed videos and just like these insane kind of like sketch, shows and then it an open mike after it, and I stuck around and that's would like Martha Kelly increase, fair bags and michel balloon there shall believe they were all like this new thing. We shall Call me any more rely on setting the right. I don't know I think I think that a premium blair thing either way was like. I was like a while. These people are my age and funny where I did like all the. What, dabbled in it. Like ninety nine everybody.

like you know, in their thirties and seemed fuckin bitter, and I in fact any of them were funny partially, because I thought I was a funny kyle applied elsewhere, but so that we got me back into it, see those guys at fucker for over a year and also right side met those guys and fair banks. As I could see, I was duologues we're chargers. Member will be powder wide fuckin, you know. Got a bald thing and pain and myself all white the series of tubes going through my to wear it. Well, idea was, I was powder, but I have like five penis is put we're all my croxley with a body of zeal So I tell a joke. I would porter my dicks. Would people it would just like you'd see p come. My eyes stand up, shakes that out of people- I you know

I struggle with that sometimes, but I hate is that, for me, right now would be the most interesting the anxiety. Well, you know what, though it's not a comedy. This is that I have learned because we'll clubs- but it's also like you, know, I'd stay like I was my main reason was like I will fare bank, so he saw me do it all weird stuff and he was like eyes. You come to open mike and I was a gay. I want to do it again and lake we wound up hanging out, and I was a kind of towns ideas I had at ease like well. You know I mean she just write like while you write like seven minutes worth jokes, because he was going to use them featuring is somebody again six hundred box and I was like what you are doing. Is six hundred bucks just to go? Tell jokes for twenty minutes and I come from I knew that oil, that's what I said to my head was like. Oh wait, that's how much I make for load and fucking trucks at the at the concert. Hall. Yeah, for, like a you know a week, you know I don't I'd, probably take homesick centre,

for work and forty hours. I was greatly fourteen fifty bucks an hour and it's a lot less. It's more user friendly, just right, jokes and have a blow as I have heard, a white powder darted a painted tattoos like ok, so I made up some jokes: so little off the wall, but I do so then, by by the time it I do think gum before go back instead of thing a lot of that cause. I do look back at some of this shit right. They cause. I did some fuckin a labyrinth, shit that I love. I got hair extensions. Why time so I can have a mall it to go to an open mike words, nobody would recognize me like. I, the whole a whole fuckin thing go in and I were the whole thing I did you. I took off my pants. I had a big shit, stay The back of my underwear, like I painted it, brown and I ran through the audience in my underwear with a shit state. Nobody knew what to think of me. I was just fucking like dumb guy had a broken nose and these oakley sons

as is, and you could see the bruises and patch goods. I do what I want to recognize cause. I knew about ids like teeth implants that didn't look weird like they weren't like poverty. Fuck, changed your face and in the mullet so ignoble and I was wearing like tracksuit with tearaway pants? Did all these really bad jokes, but like people were scared because they're like this guy, because the jokes were kind of like a little aggressive, yet the other to a good cause like broken nose and out a story about how I got my nose broke every oda, wise and in all At least I don't think music play because I would have seemed to set up, but I I told a joke and tore off my pants where a tidy, why these are the big brown diarrhoea stayed in the vat rate it with water to college, and I did I just go. Running through the crowd, with a pair of scissors, cut my mode off and thrown it in people's drinks, and I just run out the door and run away and they never see me

and shut the fuck up there yeah. So I was like and there's tons I mean I fucking have I did a ton of shit when I was first like that, but matches that's what I like. What you could do now with his insight is about sticking your guns. I because like instead of me, going well, I wanted. six hundred dollars in Houston. What do I need to do right right to twenty minutes where the jokes about diary and my dick done and then that just turned into this thing, where I'm like? Okay, this is what I'm doing now is easy. Okay achieve my goal. I make six hundred dollars now what and I, but I do think like if I had instead of you know just go. What do I need to do a golf clubs if I just be like I'm gonna go now. I just fuckin. Do this shit there, I mean I do think I was a bit of a coward with it rose like I'll. Do that

we buy what we want me to do. Those are cowardice, not cowardly at all, like sticky, because then you see guns are extremely exhausting to have to come up with things like that, and and not like you know it's like like we see guys like brett gelman and, like you know, there's but just people who do like you don't know back when he did the orphan annie dress, yeah the first four times. I bet it's fuckin larry's after twenty, you start going it's a bit. I do and quite honestly I wish that even it will be impossible for me to torture. Like you, I keyboards and I would need a sound guy cause. I don't think it's on possible and even more interesting. If, like I was wonder why, like some of the colony central just doesn't come up with the with the brenner walsh project. Now you just do,

what are we three deals that have fallen through with that, but its but you're, but there are so many like your level of fucking with people is beyond what any one like us to the point where, Can I get you look a twitter this weekend, I read it turned into biking. Holds I've got a job. I read it to my crew in jamaica. sitting in jamaica and reading your twitter feed of of. Like guys, I said some really rough. Over a period and that's what I love. that is because I'm sitting there from Hell, I'm let me premium for anyone who doesn't know this is maybe my favorite trolling. Ever seen ever so you just made like three. I don't even know you and argue his Jos jack reach.

When I hear that opera jack reach for the remote and throw it in the tv exactly at is I got was the one. The last stand I started out. it's united egg, the last stand, but what about the first in middle stands, leading up to the last, and yeah tell us the or everybody's dying, not to know so. It was like a David spade is, like hollywood made a kind of roasty cause. This is our of I know I don't plan on this stuff. Later I was bored. I was kind of peers like I do you know cause did not drinking does get you Sometimes I don't know I just in a shitty mood and was like you know why I'm gonna go the fucking laker the american mall. They got an eighteen screen theater. I will see what speed

and I'm going to like maybe go see two or three move like sneak, go, see a movie sneak into another one cause it's one of those days when I was like forty, but you don't mean neil mahoney, director guy, he fucking one night I was doing the shows are really cute girl, they're, like I'm half joking with them, but I'm like hey fucking, go tell that girl, I like or whatever, and I just it'd make jokes about like out like just I dunno like tell her a joke. Go like talk to the grower yeah. I like neil's, like he's like you're fuckin like food. Those talk were, and I wonder what the fuck you, but it it's. You get a licence to be a fucking child when you are back and you get a fucking play ridiculous game, like only you it's like my. What will the main thing installation I love that shit like I fucking get excited and I go and I sit in the room and I'm in my underwear and I'm making I'm in jamaica trying to make big joint with smoke coming out of it, like I'm talking

forty two children that depend on me and I'm not doing great joy is gonna. Go to the movies, and I am It is by the way everyone this was maybe them the biggest thing to go down on twitter this weekend. That's it. The meeting that I had today was just books about that. I'm just like I don't know like out. I don't. plan on doing a shit like that. Because was the inspiration what it was you know what it is it it's, not even lake I don't even know how where it comes from, but I went, it shows him. Lung up go yeah, it's just well! It's just something that, naturally you know it's like feeding. into the good, the responses start feeding into atomic away to be someone's gotta. Yeah cause did. This is always sorry it was. I want to go, haven't you need a park. Cookie, go see a movie made

Sneak into another one, maybe even sneak into a third one like it was one of those days where I'm like am I turn my phone on. I want to sit in a dark room and see some movies, and I look every fucking movie that plane is shit. I'm like I don't even remotely want to see any of these motherfuckers Maybe so, then I just go on twitter nicer listing them because they are gone round tomatoes and look at their ratings in all its hands on Gretel seventeen percent than some other one. Twenty, was yeah and so do I start tweeting these things and I look I looked at hansel and Gretel siam db and saw will pharaoh's while the producers of of hansel and Gretel route. Adam Mckay. I dunno. It must be something with the production code, but then I was thinking like I was like and I didn't say anything bad when I was like. Oh, I will I mean it's crazy. You never know is involved with this stuff and I have the I n d page up and I see the directors name

I like a ways like a norwegian guy or something, and so I'm like ads are funny. I was like. Oh I'm just gonna tell him that the guy from Hansel and Gretel called me yell at reverse. Why are we so that I do this whole backpedal? Like twenty pages of appeal, as you know, is that I have no doubts about that. That's it was continued. Fifty nine of the treaty, which made me so excited I've, never I've, never hidden, tweet and started scrolling quit. Is it the person or does it start where to start we were sitting eating breakfast in jamaica, the whole crew, and I went because I what happened is I accidently somehow signed up for time cigars every time he tweets it hits my phone. Ok fuckin, it's the dumb it it's great. It no fucking clue so, every time he fucking between anything,

you get that you anytime you want this this I guarantee you have Tom cigarettes, we'd tweet on my phone noises, work god, damn it take a fucking times a girl, It all come up on my fucking phone tom segura. You just got a blurted of rogan studio, guys block tom are so so so I go so I go and I see Tom's is like not oh yeah, comedian code, and I only know this because that one time you, you said: hey lady me: some took pictures of you of your boobs. I read it and thought it said boots and I went that's odd, and so I took a picture. boots and then sent it and, as I said it went out at boobs, then as it got foggy, I sent in any way rights are offended and then you were like fuckin lay off crusher and that is the greatest feeling in the world, because I know you're joking europe. No one else does the bass and I would you can find somebody who knows

play along. Yes, it's just a giddy its leg. What we got, well yeah- and I tell you what I almost tweeted what I was sitting on the toilet, taking a shit as I caught it, I call logs my I'm working out and it's one thing doing things everything's coming up segura and I read it and I was like I was going to write a wtf dot dot dot just got a text from robin Williams, about unfold, being Brennan woven what's going on at this stage, would then also does too far. It is a very new ones being an eye guy good at it. I like it when. she had on a guy. That's another colleague actually we'll talk about it off the takers ideal. After do damage now nice, thereby everything I said, oh, but it was the most uncouth. What why I gave a remedy, some people here near where I do just fuckin. I can only be pushed so far. Somebody's fuckin do in some stupid and, unlike all explode at them, really

say shit that I deserve any. Are you can kind of hint do what you're talking about don't say anything at all his eye but louder. Because I don't want to feed and any other fuckin speculate. Words out other real draw me to get into through twitter what people love dry, which is the thing on with this twitter. That's why she did this with the hansel gretel thing like the end of people like say, I'm still to today, like there's, probably tweeted, my phone of like hey man, like you know, we're all with you what's got like you know, hang in there and it's like to forget it schooling, it is absurd thing like there's no way to Israel, but by into the fact that, like agents dropped me. How do I don't know? I was my favorite three. I haven't really about it. I just got drop by my age.

it's just that they just want to eat. My agents dropped me about your blog that it was such a great. It's such a great. It's like that consumed like number one, I'm supposed to be working on a couple of things which, if you, if you walk in my apartment and it's immaculate the year for the first question out of your mouth, like what should you be writing right out, because I start doing why can't I just love fuck off what I'm supposed to be you and I'm not doing? Why can't agents and managers and by publishing, oh, I love is blocking like losing his mind. Was we write a book may do it's like. That's what this meeting about today was so I could get yelled at for extending the reach and I'm like what am I the first comedian who fucking missed it:

Why? No, I haven't read a word for it. I got it today and I was like and I got the call today and they're like you know, this is like we are at crunch time like do you want extend your book by another year and I was like no and I'm like. Well, you need- and I was like hold on- am I the first person really to fucking like, but then I was like. I was like can't. You see the other shit I'm doing like arya, like there's other like like as I'm procrastinating, procrastinating in a creative way? Don't you see that yeah but yeah? No, I that yeah, so that whole thing the that twitter thing this weekend and that was so much fun to read what was so fun to do. What did I just became? That's like this. I literally sat at that computer at my desk, like I'm working, I felt like I was working. Oh, you are, but I was I was having fun, but it really was like from whatever it started at like noon or two o'clock that afternoon and

Oh you know well into the evening prior to pray about twelve hours. I I just was their tweeting in replying in, and you know just fucking just kept go the character animals I got it announced today. It completely is woke up. The next day went right to the computer before even took appears, and you know and got. you know, and then I took a piss- was like all right cause. You don't want to get to you, don't want to beat a dead horse or like get too crazy and then tried to either way just the whole, like the whole that I love that shit where it just happens organically and in this town they just it they just what a fuckin co op that they had all mining and I don't want to. I regret, monetize it and it's impossible. It's like you know it's it's like a link with the woods. It does buggy it. I have this reputation as a pranks there, because they are

capital things come knocking on people's door motorway all day on the second set of people who dogs what it is. As I do that whole foods they died, that was already outside the circle. the jewel of everything I've ever done, but in fact it's it's egg, it's nice did people knew it and it's like it see, I achieved my goals and everybody love. It got me some attention and I don't do any of this. For attention, although that you do it bad, then this town, but then immediately I'm having all these meetings about pranks. You, how can we turn, is ok, we will be able to do those things. You don't like how to shoot ideas illegal. You can't do it. You pull out and the only reason I do it is because comedy since I've been doing comedies refreshing. I don't forget makes me laugh anymore, I'm looking at everything with a critical eye again, so I do this off the clock to fuck it

me. You motherfuckers caught wind of it and am I going to drive to santa Monica to talk to some dumb ass bitches, a producer tried to make some fucking dumb show about like like like pumped but like harder, and it's like here's. The thing you're not like, like I did. One thing that was my crowning jewel was me getting my ass waxed on tv. It is to this day it's the funniest thing. I've ever done and I never beat it, but I've made a living off of it now granted. If I had a nickel for every cause That then I did the herbert thing right. Fuckin fought a ball or for a bear. I want a ball swam, a great white sharks, Emma may still guy choked out, like I did that man. I was the opposite side, kids and I needed to do it for me,

Put a meaning for everytime, I thought I had a show where I just got a show, and then I got into the production room first meeting the like, so we got a guy who can get you out of the cage, the great white sharks- and I was like oh fuck- that's all I am to these people. I mean to the point I swear to god when I say this to the point where I remember getting the

If a birth conquer and they were like- and I was like what is this about- I don't travel channel, I love travel channel. I can't wait to work with them in the first fucking skype. It was me and this guy dan Adler and it's like we got a helicopter that can get you to jump out of it and I'm, like I remember saying no. I was like I've got to get the fuck away from them because but then I did bert the conqueror and is like you know what I'm just going to keep saying. Yes, until they fucking until they stopped bringing the offers, and now I'm at I'm at the point where I'm past, the the guy that jumps out of the buildings yeah a little bit, not much but a little bit. But it's like, I know what you feel when you're like you get stereotyped as this one thing I was the guy and I don't even like it like. I just did it and I did and I screamed and that's why I got the job, but I will say genuinely as a as a as a fan of like when I hear your stories or when I see your pranks or when you are tweeting to your son, Tristan trevor, all that serious that stuff,

but that's so fucking. Those are so fucking, like the soap like when I got your tweets this weekend on the thing through Tom I got so excited. I was like. Oh, I got something to do today. Yeah, it's a fun things. You just gotta, you gotta do what you gotta do. Is you just gotta find you've got to become an executive producer of it have ownership with it and do whatever the fuck you want to do with it and let them you've got to find you're never going to work in this business. If you don't make other people money, that's the one you're never going to fucking that you need to make other people with bad ideas, money. That is how this business works. Other people had no ideas drank the people who have never had a creative thought in their head. You gotta make them a lot of money, but but- and and and there are a huge group of dudes myself included- that think the way you see the world when it comes to fucking with people are fucking with your friends

or fucking around or just screwing army up is blocking hilarious. Alas, I will say that so I don't ever like be afraid I'll. Do that check out a lot of hate it? It's my life, blood and but somebody else pointed this out, because I was talking to a couple other comedians about twitter, as a you leave three comedians in a room alone. Now, under ten minutes they conversation gonna turn a twitter, oh yeah, but yeah as you know, this one girl, I know the comedian, these guys harassing urgent female comedians. Have it so bad I had no idea like I know guys are disgusting, but if you're, a fucking woman even remotely near the public eye, be prepared for your facebook to be clogged with guys in their fifties. Asking for pictures your feet, there's like all these girls really dude, there's there's this thing called wiki feet

Foot villages are big roulette. Yeah do every year I have just found out about puffy mars, ya, know we wonder if I can see where you're going to get away with that I like it would really be. You know of each eighty three way out in genk movement, and I I just I got can imagine what is I would even took me out, you know, and it is it's tough later but with twitter like did. This was the topic with many other two council was a girl, mama's guy, and I don't you tell me oh you did too I yeah. Ok, I only a kid could keep going about it. The boy was like cause. I've been thinking about it with twitter. Like you get these out. Replies like there are people like as soon as you tweet, something before

even said, saved and replied to by people which is right. I love it when people followed closely, but the nerve there's some fuckin asshole who, like you, know go? You do some really funny, and then you get these replies of people who just don't get it and fuckin they're. Just like you know, oh yeah, who oj could plug your sticker up. Your ass was arroyo diary, army or whatever, or I mean you know, some shit people trying to play along and that bums me or like you like me, and a friend minor fucking around on twitter and if people starch I mean I like that. I didn't really do the joke. It's like that. in you is that I saw people be like like attack you and I wanted to go. With that for future reference on fine, like whatever

we'll let you seem to be of more havin fun, do it. I don't care people say shit like an that's I'll. Send people direct messages like? Are you cool like cause? I don't that's not. My goal is to have like you know, especially with our associations you know like with rogue inner stand, hope the fucking. God bless the fans, but some of them, the fuckin, ninth level meat head, fuckin, retard ship bags and it's a great cucumbers shows you not disrupt Whatever it might you guys you're fuckin retarded asshole, we're just looking for a fight. There did like sitting there nor basement on every message board. Wait for somebody said One thing the pilot anyway, so like garbage, It around with a friend of mine, like you know like, pretty early or most shared whatever just want to make me any friends, Where is alive? Elderly and click? Will is playing around on twitter like go back and forth insulting each other whatever and in people try to chinese in an essay some.

I can surely about what are my friends? Are they start shit, not add any? Just like you know, then you and your friend your like. Well guess that's over thanks for killing our bit. You fuckin dumb, ass or or it's like, it's a god forbid. I mean, I know for a fact that, like a negative comment ring so much heavier than a positive comment that negative, like it's, not that I feel bad if somebody says like hey, you're, fat and you're, not funny or whatever it's like fine. I know that already, but but it's just when, like when people. This is why I exploded at this guy this weekend, because the privately I exploded at him, because these things, when I'm doing these bring me fucking joy like that. It's pure unbridled georgia, which I never feel even if a bang the fuckin never been touched ten year old supermodel on the road which never happens, but no, but even like you know, there's the the the the feeling of excitement and joy that I get when like me and a friend

played, played around or like like what I am doing is weakened its just. It never happens, edits its indescribable and when somebody fuckin throws a monkey wrench into that, I mean I fuckin it fuck. It makes me go bananas. Could it it's like. You know you just stole my fuckin joy lake and I get fuckin so angry and isn't what weird about with the twitter, where it's like, not just people shitting on you, but people just don't get it. He blew china, not every joe and it's a bummer and its aim is a worthy like yet twitters agree, fuckin tool like rob Delaney, wouldn't be gettin booked on an open letter. We love right now, but I mean using robs of mighty kindly long always while the lebanese fund, but he's carrier is fuckin. later one hundred percent, like you

we sold out the shows that he's doing and that's enough he gets robbed, and it's like that's where my brain goes. Selling out. Oh Delaney is fucking killing it. wanna get into it, you know rather arbitrary iris hilarious. I just funding, I I need to know, is it lousy? I need my crawl is. What's rob lining up to put the thing is that twitter is a great tool for us, you know, and but is it worth the fact that, like I could name probably five twitter handles of people who I hate, that I've never met So is it worth having that shit in your head? Just that I can get the word out that much easier about nine shows the fact that I know that, like this guy, like even know what they're gonna tweet, when I put a tweet out, it's like we camped lock on their fan

but there are fucking dumb asshole doesn't get it and they ruined my fucking day and is it worth having like where's? The balance is like clogging my brain with stupid, assholes names, who I don't like on twitter like is it? Should we just get rid of it? Is? It is it I'll tell you what a doubt this is. My only choice was recently outside of the country. for fourteen days and I couldn't use twitter, except for when I was out here tat when I was at the hotel. My phone Canada's fuckin- I don't beg, don't use my data in canada yasmin. I just use it when I get to the hotel it just wifi it and it starts loading up. Yeah I'd say the two things that happens in that moment is one number one. I don't get any of the at replies cause I

iphone just doesn't work like I don't I don't read any of the negatives just get the last five that were sent right and the other thing is. I don't look at my phone all day and it clearly definitely distinctly swings by serotonin in the right direction. Yeah like I know, for a fact, I'm not I'm not thinking about my phone. So when you were talking about the joy it brings you we're getting those moments like the joy when you get when you tweet a funny joke, or you get into a twenty funny like when we were. I can tell you what bara was sitting at when when I tweeted this, You're. My bulgaria and I remember, excited to look at what you reply was your plaid fuckin. Like my heart, my doing, I think of my reply I remember my reply. One of your replies was like: do you like we're going to handle this when you get when you get back, and I was like well just tell me the store you're paying at or the store

If you're temping at by and I got excited, I remember- I called the girl- I was like the labor like like those moments that bring you pure joy. It's like it's like it's like those random times, whether it's what I had not to cut you off, but that was to finish the thought with the like, with the negative shit or just to get one the people that dont get it in the fuckin bomb. You re at how the waiters timeline dude. I love. I dead. That's exactly what I was doing. This he's gonna definitive. I argued that I would ask that he has defined making americans lose their fucking macy's. Just king he's the kind of trawling unpolluted heat I mean here. get to a level that I wouldn't I could never. I would never be another. Look. Let's say we want to say that this is an ear was brave. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah It is like takes his glasses

I will be leaving news for a while, but that's what I think. That's that might feed into. I mean I've always liked doing that. Shit. Like you know, fucking with people, I wrote a whole book of letters to companies when I had a temp job in austin just to fuck with people, because it makes me happy but the to balance it out like with those like the coun quinn type trolls and like what happened this weekend, where you're just confusing people and it's fucking with people hard and some people like. I have a fucking heart. You know, like some people, are tweeting to me where they're obviously really concerned, but I'm not going to tip my hat to them because they're going to fuck up the joke and- and you know what fuck you because

mother fuckers ruin my goddamn day. So often this is a paid like fuck, you I'll do what I want to do and, like I hate your nice lady, I'm glad that you were you're worried about my mental wellbeing. I can't wait till we get off this party actually get to tell you secrets, oh you're dying to fucking talk about all the secrets right now and I I hate that right now, people like just talk about all the poor girl, bird you sure about. No, it's do everything in our power just because you spoken podcast, there's a lot of alone, public shit yeah. Maybe we can in air everything, will that's that's the year. We have to have things for ourselves, because once you get in this business, selling yourself as a commodity- that one and then every little aspect anytime. You get any attention by managers- and I I love my agents older maiden, swell guy with a great agency and they are fucking great people. I'd. My managers are also my thinking, I feel, like you know, it's a girl.

a little family over there, but this industry once you do something that gets people's attention slightly like the whole foods thing or a twitter thing like okay, you know, like I'm surprised, that I didn't get fuckin. A call this weekend from someone going hey, we got at age dervish, dirty bs is due at a twitter. Based, reality show they are actually that would be. I don't. I can't think of a good example, but it's like, but likeable like the whole foods. They were it's like a one time thing. You can't do that on tv and enter the the amount of meetings that I went to for prank shows and stuff was unbelievable, and it's just because, like people like the the industry side of this business, it's just like. Oh what he did. Some people paid attention group group group group. Okay, let's get yeah there's a way to make a buck off it. It's like fuck you this is for me like.

You have to have stuff for ourselves and like every little like you, no matter who the most like louis e k or Doug stand public heather fucking. The most honest, on wilbur their put it there. No talent like there, do you need to have your own shit every there's, not a fucking show for you like we're, not pay special breed of people that are put on this planet. You know you're, not a machine like you not like what were whoa whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa whoa! Stop the clock. I I like you, seeing all the misery. I am the machine no idea where that is when you, with your kids at a fuckin, mall and sent me here to do

Actually I do know how weird it is for me to be weird about it via the mall with your kids. It's weird as fuck. Remember that time you said the cops these dudes yelled, though my shame- and I was again there like jaeger shots and were walking by a dave and buster's, and I'm like yeah like right now and then my ego My head goes killer down. His fans have bigger elegant. I had a moment with ever guy. I fucking vote was cool fire into my kids. Like other we're going to do the ferris wheel- and I was a young kid that could always do the exact number so, but but so like yeah, that's my yang and Yin and Yang my poet push and pull the. But the thing I was going to say is that the what will the main thing I started doing and then got really big like really like, like I can't even express how big gotta got a really big in the in the netherlands in like in, like, like finland, skype feelin eyes what it, though you know that

and yet like that area, you're really big over there and it exploded, and I started getting offers for a book deal and I was what was it the? What was the main thing? the web follow that I got real big and in another huge voyage I mean it's brilliant bit it thank you, but a shit. You can do a fuckin taos, enclosed I've alike, I mean I dunno how you can on the road, but it's like I. This is why I'm going to go to nashville this weekend. This is I'm not going to wear it on the plane, but it's in my suitcase. I had wardrobe for access to and tv at the time you have made a huge thing, a fucking based delaware. Just use both of a wardrobe. so ends and a lot of shit you use.

Muddy and you create your next one. They just throw them away. So I was fucking with these hotel rooms. When I was doing it rigid, I did it for my crew at the first one I did was some spoon in summer. You know and like I just did it and then I did another one that I was doing for my coronas taking pictures. My cameras have shown him. We got to the car and it was twitter when twitter started blowing up. I started posting them on twitter, and then I posted, like maybe like ten and then Adam richmond, and I had a guy amber swoon. We started doing them back and forth. He or he would do one, and I would do ok and then and then and like I maybe had like twenty of them and I got and then it blew up in the netherlands hour or whatever it, scandinavia, scandinavia and and they were like you wanted. We want to do a book deal and I was like darby be fucking pictures of the just the pictures such great and then and say this. Is your book deal that you're procrastinating and do okay, because that's all a vintage? So I then they get the offer and we have a conference call with my wife. I forget what I want to say it was my agent, then

not my book agent now, but my agent Ben or maybe I talked to my vocation now or another blockage in that same agency, and they were like this is great. We really love this and, like the today show, got it and good morning. America taught everyone out, it got really really big and they were like. You know. We just need like sixty. We will, if you do like sixty more and I was like no like it's like in a weird way as it gives voice it's inspiration. I can't tell you when inspiration shows up like if you are not going to make bongos sit in a hotel room and see what happens but if they just show up like. I can't tell you where they come from, but from that I then got the book deal because I got introduced to my mailbox agent. and then and then the machines, georgia very popular case in you're, doing a straight up book book like that, it's all there by stories like the machine story of like a fuckin time florida man get to forty thousand words. As of today. That's how many have written yeah I just? How does that equal? Like one hundred and forty pages, that's good man you're, okay, w,

besides, twelve twelve fifteen and a father, I do I It shouldn't take any notice that my father did a forty said. The titles of each chapter audited, fucking fucking, needs going to lose his mind. very, very, very, very hot that day he's the only I that I met when we pitched books. That said they didn't say, you need a podcast everyone. You go into pittsburgh and they'd be like to your podcast and I was like no they're like well they're, very successful selling books, Adam growling, no, no he's arose because he's flocking attenborough because he has a park. Let me tell you some patrick miltoners upon tat name. One thing corolla did before his podcast. You see it me don't read, but that's that's crazy thing do with like fucking off like that is what I like to do like, I think, there's

not a specific thing I like to do like comedy or painting or music or whatever it's like, whatever I'm not supposed to be doing. You need here's. What you should do you should get they should they. You should just get like, say one hundred twenty five thousand dollars per episode and you get to do whatever you want with one hundred twenty five thousand dollars, and you have to know that you're next and you get to keep like a percentage, but your next one hundred twenty five thousand is dependent. I only said we were like why that much so much talk about how much it costs to make sure. Yet so, but then your next project is his parents should be like the chappelle show, but just whatever you want to do, yeah every want to do, because I think that whatever you'll come up with- and I only say this as someone that has known of you for forty ten years, there's going to be fucking, interesting, yeah, I'm dying to talk now, working working like you know there, there are things in the work. I am confident that do you think you'll be famous, you know I like fame, I dunno about like I. What is that

pete? Yet people stop me for pictures near porno just will know this is my definition of fame noticing that you're getting recognised, walking round the grocery store yeah, I mean I don't you know why at this point to questions, do want that and do you and be honest, I don't just go. I think I'll. Just no because that's pretty much what I'd like to do. Yeah yeah yeah: do you want that and do you want and and do and do you think it is still achievable? Oh, it's definitely achievable. Yes, I mean that psych without a quick. Did you see that as like something that I do think that too, but that's not a motivating goal. You know like if that's one of your goals, like I feel like I, I just wanna, walk into a club and everybody know who the fuck I am. Or what do you want to be famous for all? I care whatever it's a motivating goal in the sense that that the once the second yeah, I guess, I see what you're saying

I know it's like want to go by like a horse, it's a necessary bypass like you can be a successful, stanhope comedian and be anonymous. You know I mean so I guess yeah it to a certain extent. Of course, blake. You know I would like to get to a point where you know if I could do so out of five hundred seat theatre in thirty cities. Thirty, five six. Fucking. Do you gonna beat you by the way you'll be very famous yeah, maybe by like it builders bigger places now take about Paul. I've talked in size, Faye, maybe tompkinsville. I may start a chat which I didn't tompkins. Three hundred. Do you hate him? No, I don't hate them, but we hate each other. Yes, I have to eat him because I know hates me? Oh really, I don't I dunno he was a. He was fucking so long ago. I can't he definitely does

member it I'm sure runaway, although back in his drinking days a hidden, drake anymore, he's dying We don't know what his deal. I think gum that matter. I think I'll have a glass whatever, but it's not he's not smoke and drink and paul, like you know he. It was definitely during his drinking days and we just had a run in where he just didn't. Want me on his show for whatever reason it was awkward net. It define marilla like a stand up, showed you dislike. Margo kind of thing, o improv and then going on, because they were not items lungs oh man, he was just like. I don't want that mad on my show. No, actually he was, and I hate talking about it cause. I know it

drama, but I hope it doesn't. I hope everyone just hears this story that happened like fucking seven years ago and realizes that that's what that was, or maybe now five years ago and I was put on the show and then and he was so cool man and I like to stand up a really respected him, and I was- and I just seen his half hour on comedy central, then I'd previously seen that one man show he did on h, b, o o that driving the drop was fucking awesome and I was like so pumped to be on a show with him and I jen kirkman howard, kramer, eddie, peptone, all people I respected, and I watched those in all. I was like I was young comic and I was so excited and I watched the whole thing and then and then I did my set, which is it's a very different than what they do and I and I got done and- and they were all called me like I mean to this day. If I see our grammar hang out with him, he holds pretty everybody's yeah and eddie pepper down to I I was, I hung out and drank with them. We had a great

and then I got there the next day and Paul had marked my name off the list on him in a magic marker like he didn't want me on the show, and then they put up a new list because he had done that and he did it again and then kind of got my face. He got in your face new face and was like: do you need money or something- and I was like I was like alright, and so I wrote him off in my head. I still have written him off. What you mean I like, not that not that I maybe do you need money or something he said, need money or something. Why do you made a pro or eight bucks at the improv seven mach seven year? So I always just a bad game. He felt that you were like forcing yourself onto the shower stall. He didn't realize at the club that Aaron had put me on the show, because she didn't feel like the lineup of stronger. They always do that yeah they do the improv. When you have your own night, there

they give. You could pick like three people and they throw two other people on the show, whether you like it or not, and he was he was very. He was very condescending, a very rude to me and I, and I dis I was I was extremely hurt like I was just because I had hung out with him the night before, like blow me off the night before, I would have seen it coming, but what he was hanging out, jovial and absolve you're having drinks talking we were talking about comedy. I was talking about greatest half hour was in like Jen kirkman to her defense, not that me and her had a falling out because of this also, because, because I told this story and and and I guess I didn't don't whatever way I painted it, I didn't paint it the right way. For me to be friends with her. Were totally fine. Now we're only find now, but I will definitely say that this is so long ago. The factor of bringing up is pathetic, but further

I hear, I'm as I'm the one that brought it, because I'm no so yeah so so my eyes, passer by the only two yeah I know which once again into I don't. I can't imagine him coming philly but man. The craziest thing is like all philly comics massively respect him dudes that do not do not do what he does think he's fuckin the tits. I just it was just one thing in comedy and that's a shitty thing and you know I mean. Obviously I wasn't here distinctly and he does not remember it this way he remembers himself being very generous and he, but I can promise you he wasn't. He was like dude money or something like. Why do you need these sets? Are you are you practicing for something, and I was like No, they called me and asked me the show and he's like well you're, not on it. Okay, I was told one thing, and then they put your name on there and I'm just telling you you're not what I asked for and you're not on it, and I went okay and he goes alright, like he was trying to tell him. You'd see him trying to like at the end kind of spin it like super cool right, but he was such a dick that I walked away and the worst part is. My parents were in town that weekend and I'd given up hanging out with my parents going out to dinner with them then

wait to go to the set, because I was excited. Fucking hang out with his dickhead cause. I was like I hung out with them. Last night I was like mom and dad can't you guys go out to dinner with my kids, my wife Amerigo. Work and I'll get to hang out Paul tompkins again cause. I looked up to him and he was a fucking douche, but in delaware it was like- and I still kind of I saw him in anchorman the other day and I was like- and I was like well the funny part, but I can't laugh cause. I just know what somebody fucking shits on you like that, then it's please and stuff bad like yeah cause it does it hurt. It hurt your feelings, rough stay home, like so fucking aggressively, and I was in the room and I heard him doing it and I don't know if he knew I was in the room or not by think he knew. I was in the room that why he was doing it and I and it was funny and the room has fallen apart, and he was talking about these young guys who show up out of nowhere and don't have any

cops can't do stand up and man he was, but he was drinking and I was like I was like whatever and then and then I saw him after the show, and he acknowledged that I was there, but he acknowledged it in a way that he knew I was there before. So I almost was like he's a stand up, he's allowed to do that. If I'm going to be a stand up after that and then randomly one night, I sent him a fuckin. Male fuckin! After all this money that I had made her success. I had a crude went around just a road comic in Sacramento I have an email saying I was in a bad spot and he replied back like a fucking friend like man, it's called the quickening. Let it happen just the less you care the more fun it is yeah like it was, and I've since then have established somewhat of a friendship with. I can go back and forth them and but it's like I have tough skin at my point, was that I haven't skin. You can make fun of me you because you're on the idea, you know you can fuckin in an indian

does he want respect you get even that much more leeway, yeah, but but died there. That thing with both tomkins was for him. Yeah that's unfortunate unfortunate, but it happens. It doesn't, though, really the coming year. Will you know what I mean like when? How often have you seen shit like go down. Sums ever happened to me what I mean: Have you seen someone do that to someone else and what have you been doing covering fifteen years or so the fountain? So fourteen fifteen, maybe that incident and what maybe twice I helped you. I guess it just to find your opinion of those people and that's where you keep your friends. I know that you I mean. I think it might be my circles. Why don't? I just saw many people turn your back on me this week about with a really seriously marin back in what the twitter thing I can only. I owe you so we got used to hang up now

We don't hang out, I mean you know, what's shoot the breeze on the phone As god knows, you're, always on your own. Then dying, we've got to add a when I moved out here. You don't have to was a longer years. You, oh no, no, it's not we're totally globally. I was like you, don't fix it. while party every year you lied to me, I was gonna go, but I work much this month and you know with the laid off

sauce. It's like there's no way along the bottom drink. If I'm out in is in the middle of the desert with a bunch of nuts and it will watching the game I'll give a fuck about, but I know we still yeah we'll talk on the phone and stuff and I wouldn't solve at the comedy store and he made me go- do a set before him. We're still buddies, but it it definitely has like it hasn't changed actually. But what I was moving out here four years ago, earth for two thousand and nine selling years feels like I've been here forever. He went even better for yourself guards like you. I feel like you've been up and yeah like, I feel I've aged around for the presidency, but he on the way out here we I stated his place because I drove from Austin and his is like sky to half way between here and austin and went there

watch the superbowl. Actually it was early february when I started driving out and whose like come watch the superbowl and I hang out for for awhile on your way to l, a and and and I still have a place to live in l a I was going to stay on tiegs couch and do you know just try and figure? some out and he's like you know what I'm going to go on the road in a couple I'm going on the road like on whatever he was leaving in a few days, and he was having this thing built on his property like this looks like something like this Adam and he's like this fucking to me a fortune is a id. Would you mind staying here for a couple of weeks and taking care of the dogs and helping with that thing? And let me know if I'm get ripped off cause. He knows I used to be a car. I build a couple of awesome stuff with my friends and I you know I used to be a carpenter for for awhile. So I know what I'm doing and he's like stick around keep an eye. You know, let me know what you think of. What's going on here, take care of the dog.

However, I give you like left a thousand dollars for me, or something and and He came back, we're like hang out and drinking and shit, and I was good it tell him and it was, it was just a beautiful mo cars were in his kitchen, sit at the table across from each other, and it's like something. I've been wanting to bring up to him, but like felt fucking, stupid and, and he At the same time, I was just like yeah, you know with the whole a thing and he's like yeah. You know I want to talk to you like hannigan hannigan, says his manager takes care of everything he's like. You know, I'm gonna, be all these data were doing, I'm gonna to I'm just to use local guys at all they gigs because of help promote it. right. You know I m really dug taken guys on the road with him cost him of fortune ass. Anyone he just like in, like picks up every tab and you're a real, generous guy buddy.

But do not make a rogan money, her father, anywhere near a successful of salary that is doing well now by like, but still you'd, I mean it's like you know: tosh Let me now. I know the algae, yet without theatres, but he still still has that that that cover there's gotta meet worries like on paper. Its a managers like listen. You can't spend seventy thousand dollars a year on openers anymore. You know like crazy. You know that adds up hotel rooms bar tabs, lunches, fuckin. Any boys picks. You know, fuckin losers, the corner road with them says that a lender mod, your bugs every now and then I and so he's like yeah we're going to use local guys, and I'm just like that. Guy, like I was going to say the same thing like nah. I know believe me, I love you. I love go out with you, but

in a way I kind of want to be there like. I don't want to be one of those guys who moves to l a and is on the road all the time here and number two I didn't get into. Like I mean I fucking love dog. I think he's the best guy out there and he's done amazing things for me and off and on the clock. but ultimately I didn't get in the company to be somebody's opener for the rest of my life, and it s got to the point where the association was lake. My I felt, like my name in his neighbor just synonymous. Where was just like a while she stand who, like you, know We do not really want to deregulate stand like not mistaken me forever, like I hope that your part of that and he doesn't whatever you either though, of course he never over this business touch so that he can have me. And so he wants to hang out with veto.

We just isolate people you're one of the cool people. He hangs out with bill and he doesn't want you to be defined by his thumb like like that they thought it was a. It was a perfect that it was like so like if every personal relationship was like that, like there would be, no stress in my life were just like. Oh we're on the same page sega you know cause. I focus we're like how do I bring up to my friend that hey- I don't love. You ask me to do any of those dates: pilots, a fucking gray, I wanna fuck him. You know I need in l a and I was pursued, and just have him be like yeah yeah coming on the road yeah he he is a

vibe. I voice is true. You outgrow it too. Like I mean, there's other guys that this guy junior stopped that he's got out with them now is fucking hilarious. I saw heard him talking about him on rogan podcast yeah. He tried to look him up, but I was like I was in a weird place where it was just phones, probably know much about him online, but I was looking for some standard video, I'm sure. There's some stuff here he's a funny guy vulcan to it seems like doug kind of always has the stamp of approval of dudes that I'd get a kick out of yeah doug likes having chaos around him all the time to say you know. I think it's like it definitely is. I listen to him and Todd fuckin Tom rhodes, his podcast on when Tom Rhodes is radio. You want to fuck a month cause it's just them on ambien drinking or they do that every month and no, it's the exact same podcast. Oh, you listen because it's them and it's just Tom clearly not listening to dire and doug. Clearly,

filling his heart and at one point tom goes. Doug COE's tom hi have no joy in life and your time just take a sip of wine. He goes so. What do you think am? I stayed up yeah. It ends with them singing some rickie lee jones. I gotta check that out by one of my I've tried to get people to like. So I tried to get Buell listen to what I'm on when we did the ice house chronicles and everyone just made fun of me, but it's such brilliant fucking. Radio because it's like it's, it's dogs being very open, very open about everything and Tommy just hammered, and they tell these great stories back and forth. I love it I listen to, but once I will check it out, I really fell off with the podcast. They never listen. to them before I moved I'd, never listen obama gas all at us and then, when I got here pretty quickly, I mean I was here for very long and in accra men called the do that tommy deathray pod.

as a better guy, and I met a guy at u c b and had heard that name a million times yeah those names and he was so nice and unassuming all good that I was like. I was like wait. I if I was scott ackerman I'd, be a cunt because by his name is like, like he's like one of the fucking top, five godfathers of alternative comedy and a weird way out of that is right, place right time, not to knock. Forget Ackerman. I think I love scotty's great. An error, but it's like nato. You yeah nobody, but like only because I d like, but we would risk like. I don't know, nothin like that. What anyway ever, but I soon I look for that behaviour when I'm going likely to be, but either way here you know it's like you are coming into the park at all. Yet greater sounds fine and I did I get it. there, and I realized they goose. I mean kin were

jerry minor, I think- and I do so. Obviously those guys had done a million things together and I had never heard the pie casino economy. Current things in and then I realized it was like the fuck. I dont know what their time the illegal like an idiot. So I was like from now on, like before you go to a podcast, an apple yeah, I'm not going to spend that much time, but I did douglas moves for the first time. Oh yeah, it was like, as I got like, I had listened to a brian like listened and pdf the bits. I just listen to guys I liked hearing on it and they did whatever the fuck they wanted to do and then and then I, in one, and I was like oh wait: he plays games and shit yeah and I had to learn the games and then I went on and I literally might have been his two worst appearances he's ever had cause I've if he never said anything about it. I haven't talked to what he's told me a couple of them that I that I went and checked out, but either way the point was like I went down this podcast rabbit hole for

while really we just were. I was like I was like you know, kind of I started listening to the the the the one I was just talking about our common staying every now and then then trust those what deputy have viewed. All that, like I saw that started coming out around the same time, so that was just like you know. Every time I flew back and looting the pay or how long? The flight is always in the fuckin, a million pie cast, and it's somewhere like recently, I just kind of stop, I think we get so involved in mind, not that it like in consumes my life, but I feel like we go in there have such a great time we recorded one. Yesterday we went to the prices right first yeah, I knew sent you texting me that I just left the price is right and I was like what the fuck I thought, maybe you'd, see because I was tweeting pictures of us till we went to the dollar

robot matching outfits and fuckin mean to three other guys me randy leaky, the other guy on the bones own johnny pemberton visa he's a comedian out, you know johnny, I look very young yazzi, twenty one jump street, she twenty one job street them united, so funny I thought it took me. I was to the movies when, when they say, don't fucking worry about that and they sit down the fucking principal's office and he goes to which one of you guys is johnny and they look at each other. I laughed so hard my wife, headed hippy, resolve loving. It is my love was overwhelming the rooms, nor can hear the next fucking Jane and I could not in pretty vertiginous misled so could I had heard about. You know how funny the movie like originally wanted is unwanted. Eighty johnny plays wanna die school kid, the main high school kid, the dragoon click a blood. I don't remember

I just like a group of like three of every leader there is that a gay guy has got I'll. Show you a picture of him right now or I'll. Tell you. This price is right: outfit yeah! That movie was fuckin awesome. So me, radio, jerry. What's the price is right, I'm friends with drew carey, so you know we get and that would have been such a name drop if it was ninety. Ninety five through the great I always use. I saw her, but I wanna is nerds yeah, yeah fucking love that guy he was great. That's a deluge. Eyelids were drew drew a really sweet guy. When I started stand up, he was doing this thursday night improv knights, and I did one shells were- were the same outfit fucking great god do it. Warm withdrew at reasonable re gods, I'm gonna nashville with he's great. He so funny

and so he entered he was the nicest guy I did when it first came out and I needed I wasn't doing any standup, I don t v and then gotten fired for everything, a fire, but just everything got cancer. Drew was doing. Thursday night improves and I hosted one night and then he was ass. I got like the guys did. Learn do five every night that we do this in any way We thus far migrate. He's you guys always trying to shit on. Everyone is gonna, be once when I was trying to show Andrew Gary boyd What I mean by that is one way of a name drop yea. I ran into him at a cheeseburger place with a writer and the writers like there's you carry and we ve got nervous because I know em, the guards heinrich airy rolled over and was like MIKE new adjust romanian fuck, a nice guy. Yeah he's great, that's, yes, we were, you know, so I waited like await line or it was just like you know his assistance, a podcast. While would we

at their level. Rarely at a friend in town, that's kind of what kicked it off. He was like hey. Do you think you want to go to the price? Because I've been talking about it since me and drew got to know each other, I'm like I've, I love the prices right. actually not ironically, I've loved the price is right for the three years. I mean everyone, that's like a part of america on and everyone yet, and so is, and I you know, but I was Well, may I should probably save I don't a ballgame and be like every week like he drew go home again and the price is right on here. It's like I'm area should save for like a check because up then you know at sell by date, which would have been produced, mistake because before guys, dress the same or we're gonna be all over the episode two february twentieth. It airs everybody plucky deviated prices right on your side, on the right side of your screen right on that island or eighty. It's where bright, yellow, tee shirts with black and

with black collars and a black and yellow baseball cap on his head. We are fucking all over that show if we are all over it and between drew. Actually, he walks out, and he sees us and fucking just start. Cracking up at a light goes off with the show during the commercial breaks here we talked to the audience, becomes always like. Oh hey, yeah brendan how you doing or whatever, and I'm like. Oh he's, just tipping the hat that he knows me right away. I'm like oh, where, where I mean tat. I, like you, do know an intact still work If we're going to I'm going to auction them off and we're going to auctioneer, I'm off auctioning, mine, johnnies and randy's shirt hat and the shirt stub, the name tags on them. The by we want to start video broadcasting again live streaming. Our video pies got it and we need some equipment in shit so when it,

as I'm going to put thirty guys two years out of at randy's house now, okay, I'm in the second question, how's drew stand up these days. It's great he's a funny guy and it's he's. Definitely as he is. Is he playing to the I'm, assuming that a lot of pressures right people coming out from the crowds are good? it's hard to tell I mean there's a clean so like people voluntarily all grass yeah, he was like fuckin hardcore. Sorry, I mean he's he's a funny. Guy he's a funny guy to the bone. You know and like likes to have a good time and he's drinking he's going to be touring he's not a big drinker. He used to. right products. I think email, I think, had a reputation as a party or whether you like it. I dont heart attack. I think, did you monetary dialogue

yeah. That's that's when I, when I see when I was doing that hosting thing you just had like I had like us, didn't put in her something oh fuck. Well, I'm sure that'll com you down here will have you know like we did have benefited has been. a month ago and after the show, we have two drinks but he's not a boozer, but. Yeah I saw you, I watch the price right. That's why we it's funny, because we made up this whole story that we we worked at a gas, a hot dog gas station, hot dog restaurant, where I don't drive, don't try to figure it out without it. They were so. We live in tobacco and we all came down. We all work in the gas prices ray. I could only out of you drew wet, that's what he was talking, so you know cause he talks in the crowded over. You start talking not like our. We live into macular. We work at revers, it's a hot dog gas station, but likely,

What is on the dogs or whatever? So what could the whole crowd? Nobody knew what to make about. Let's get you I just played a lot. It was so fun. It was so fun cause. Then he started to like making cracks like he's like well. Where are you from and I like free cause? I dunno how the fuck, what's new I've thought about regular. Yet it I'd like you to just right outside its ethical authorities, leg with guys like I grew up either robbins regular, like now and he's like, oh where'd, you grow up. I was like oh yeah like right outside to make. You then and then he's like. Oh so, like meth, the meth dealers or whatever, you hang out a lot of meth dealers, you live in a meth lab or whatever, and I was like, and I like stand up to the crowd like home, drew carried up and so is like. So we did that yesterday. That's that's! I thought. Maybe you should have seen it whether that was a lie because it does sound stupid about the price is right. I thought I was like gods. Is he working at the prices? So we just went to fuck off

at a good time and then went and did the podcast me and randy and johnny did it, and it's such a good one, because we just kind of kept talking about our fake hotdog with your fucking. The the one thing I will say about the bones on is the logo is so fucking awesome. That's odd. these fads data. My darling binding demands do goddamn or work. How come everyone ever feel out? They listen your shit I'll, send you are it's. If you go to he's at director you're, my email domingo. Here we draw lower for me why You know what I want to talk to him, There are some that I have just said about as it is about, as I always do that when I go upon sticker twitter postage. Reopening what's teacher- and I see like you know all the things I listen to it. It's the same family right, the apple, and so it's it's always in there. I didn't we as if you like these by you, may also like the bones on your, like no banks, no I'll I've been banished from the death squad badly.

No more about good, I was afraid, is a four hour podcast, it's gotta go let whatever two hours. Ok, it's not a bad. Do you do posts or do you do you edit these or anything, or do I dunno something ominous to put in there, but the fact that I just popped your cat broke a pen so or so. another them that's. Why would you now? It is vital that we have so much further in our pockets, as is always come to your protest. Yeah, do have people do it, we don't we don't have gas usually but Davy, it's usually may randy davy and its basically just. You know it's the same way, the kind of joy they get from the tweets where we you know what's come with me. It's ideas like oh, maybe we could talk about how like randy got hit by a car yesterday or so like it's all like just fun, goofy stuff and then we'll just start talking and things just grow and it just turns into

the thing yeah and it's just so much fun in it. Like you know now, I started listening to them like right. After you know, we do it like now that we're doing it ourselves, Randy posted that we do it over at the ice house you read, bans has so many pilot was literally taken weeks are shooting posted so now I'll go home and listen to the minute cracks me up. So I'm like always this game is. Is that funny or is it because I diet? No, I listen. I listen to my pockets so horrible to say, but I do us in my pocket.

Will you listen to the wire by adjusted with pete corellian specimen of Kalka and p Corelli is so unbridled in the sense that it is their podcast is very produced and like that mine is not. Obviously, I think what we just walked in. I hit record on the current ready like there's. No, it's what I know about you. What I like it either all the things I like is just should be a regular conversation. It's always I love doing this. Podcast is like I don't normally get. You know. My wife has got the kids in the house. We just let the dog out obviously but like they are allowing me time to kind of hang out with other dudes yeah, because when I'm home I gotta be like daddy on the is a great like this is kind of a great loophole to fer. You know hockey I mean like once a week as if these microphones we're in our hands, it would be like fuck entire fats to confront a go.

Oh. She was les mis you're leaving sunday. The girls want to go out to fucking Calgary right now, she's going guys, don't know, guarantee. The girls are fucking drawback here in five minutes like knocking on window dad, but but it's a it's a weird loophole and, like I opened a bottle of wine I buy myself a blame. You have on you and I we like love. This is great and then I'll women, what about the election is going to do it now? to go to eat. Now, that's where the girls want to go. I want to get called to. Let him eat that shit. California, pizza, kitchen wow. He neither if I can get some better jack black goes there. The same one is just yet the joke. I see jack black they're like fucking everytime, we go there. There are no good like local places around here, though just malls in the end. Just texted me dinners ready in five guess we're not going out to eat. I guess we're eating here, no other and everything around here, fucking text, her back cool

Instead, he said he's really hungry so funny. You were like no kids right as a joke, and I came here and we were literally having a tea party for one of her american girl dolls. It's like I go either. One Brennan walks in asked me to stay for the pete tea party and she was like do. I know him. Hopefully not kids are fucking. Funny they're, like I'd, see our magical kids a lot. I was already good fucking dad eh yeah. He loves habit, yeah, that's a family right there, that's something to look at like he's a good dad and he's like fuckin resp, like he's a grown up. I am not. It's been a grown up, though, for a long time he's been, he was a grown up when I first met him. How long we know? No, he worked in Austin the overture it's about ten years I mean, if you like. I have a lot of yet a lot of great, like eight toward with Hedberg. What shall I give toward with the who, like the whose whose of people it is

Somebody brought its view. Demands are right now, medical terms, a girl, I dont know what people think of warlike about that guy, like he, everyone wants him with him, really and I know him on his friend I barely fuckin when one small doses, small don't smoke, does that Malta, fat guy, small doses he's no but like he's tour with, I forgot to read that to the fat guy. Smollett he's, like I remember, like he'd rogan, took him to australia. Russell peters took him to london tours with fucking everybody, and I go

it's a weird. I guess it's flattering like you know cause I can barely ache about it. Cause like gave a really made my night yet. Are you know I don't know? I feel, like I've been spinning my wheels for a few years here and there and dinners dinner. I guess that's it! That's all she wrote do. Is there something you like to say, dinners ready, ok, we're rapid right! Now now do you wanna come in and do a segment? Okay, alright! Alright, we're we're wrapping it up right now. Alright, the. Look at that dog is obsessed with her yeah falcons visa assessed. So we were, we say: ok, I just you know I was kind of guy came up that you know restore withdrew.

I'm not touring! I mean I'm doing a bunch of data at home. I'm still doing my stepbrother was dot com, as my tour dates on him get a while they're hot, because I don't fucking update that motherfucker. it's amazing, how I'd take all gonna be somewhere to my eyes private, that much tour dates today for like when we wrap triplet, I'm hitting the road, and I tweeted him up there and they're like how come none of these are on your website and I was like oh shit, yeah, I get a guy or something I would let mark barron has an assistant and yeah and he's doing the podcast on a couple of weeks and I'm dying to ask him how much his assistant costs. You know what I think I am going to look into this once. If I saw this saw this new show idea, I think I'm going to get an assistant and I'll just go to the colleges figure out how you can get college credit like just have someone to hang out with me and be like look. I wanna sit around smoke cigarettes

I believe I'm writing a script. You fucking take my dry cleaning. I just want someone to go bert. I have these emails that are important when you'd reply to what is your answer? Just go: oh yeah tell them that school is just for me to like thumb out like that sounds great. Can we do you know like it? Just it takes too much. It doesn't take too much out of me, but it's just like that's. Not my real wheel creativity is not where my comfort zone lies, I'm just like. No, we don't want to do that. Shit bills and insurance and stuff like this podcast today I fucking went through. I was like it started with you because I was like I was like I want. I want to have brendon on like today, because I was like, as a brendan is someone who I don't. I know that I can have a straight conversation with. I will never have to worry about editing nothing. I like I can just talk to him forever I'll post that tonight, because I'm a week behind on this familiar, alright great, and so I was like brendan than mac faulkner- is from the ditch

have you ever followed the drive dunno, the gang yeah, the oh, my god, but it's it's it's I fuckin love it. It's an app that I just it's a website to you can go to the chive dot. Com is pictures of chicks, with what did they just caught funny picture? You know when I got out. I don't do that. Events in turn me onto fuck, pretty girls I If the girls Dale either way, there are a bunch of twitter things, you follow. They just post pictures of naked girls naked in front of an ex sexy thanks even that, should it's like you know what is enough. I get enough of it, it's good for me taking a shit or yeah. I get on my phone you're, married and stuff. I go to childlike so then I have one max coming in friday, Alison Rosen from a cross party. Our I also rose my did her potash fucking, one of the like most put the checks on ever hung out with she's coming

and then marin in the matter of february, but just booking this podcast is like. I feel weird texting. Someone going. You know, yeah the reason that you're in a fucking good place where the bones one is like it's just the three of us. When we get together, we do one. I think that's something to do a euro, not pattern. In the back that it's like you know all these comedy podcasts. It's a comedian sit around talking about serious shit. Most of the time it's like. We just want a fucker. I dunno, I think. Hopefully it separates us. We don't get a ton of listeners but er. Actually I don't even know how many listeners we got, but I'm for it's the oh really. What do you? What do you do? I don't even know how to figure it out. I I I don't know what other people get, but I've heard other people talk and it it's it's. You do well to do fine fine, but it's like it's not like my. He gets to say nah, I don't do advertisers yeah. I don't do avatars, because I don't really. I mean first of all, I've been approached by people that have been like men.

We see all your life the earlier on kingman yeah, we'll see next time we just get him to talk about soccer practice. Yeah fucking on the headliner was a I'll text. You you can keep. We can. Texting each other under the table. Oh all right, we should wrap up Brennan man. I thank you so much for coming out and do this it's great to hang out

We will ever see. Is there anyone that you would like here's? What I also like doing on this podcast is like if I'm home, for like a saturday when people are home, is there anyone you'd want to do the podcast with that like they come in and like we'll just get a bunch of fuckin, whatever enjoyable walls that people need to have like like? Who? Who do you get down with your duncan trussell, perfect arabic done done. I dug it out before yeah no, but I've done Duncan's a bunch, okay and I'll. Keep trying to line up duncan, and I love having a bunch of people in here cause. Then an affair to do anywhere at me and duncan are mere randy from the bones are mere johnny Pemberton? Let's, let's do a bones! One episode where we bring in the whole bones one: okay and we'll do it here and we'll do a like. You guys run it and I'll just be a part of it. Okay, that'd be fun yeah and is there anything you wanna plug

I set her texting me one word watch. The price is right on February twentieth for real and he hits her. I wrap it up. Big boy is right on dot, there are starving children in valley village, The price is right on the twentieth, Brendan Walsh, dot com, it's brendan with an o b r, a n d, o n walsh, go to my tour dates, I'm in nashville this weekend with drew Carey next week at the vancouver festival following weekend. I think, flora did you I just go. Look at my today tat. I wanted to know who, like me more importantly, if you want to enjoy twitter thoroughly opera, Whilst I can be very Andy, can just be one of the people who enjoy it yeah hours. it's a dumb ass, forty eight to get them to follow me

fortress europe is already dead. This episode was brought to you by the machine.