Comedian, Actor, & Artist Kevin Christy and I hang out in the Mancave and talk about comedy, commercials, depression, & watches.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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The
hey guys, hey guys, hey guys, hey guys book book book, book, book, book, book, book, hug him and I fucking hate me so much. You know that I have a book. You know that I'm on tour, you can get all that information of pervert dot com, damn it just do the podcast already today's guest artist, comedian, actor friend, Kevin Christie
the. I think that's pretty good. That sounds good to me. I'll do they gave you the cue cards from the late show that is so boss yeah? That is a that said. I was
was one when I was a young comic you going like she was off. His they'd have yeah cards for my car
center. Something- and I was
a guy that guy's handwriting is so great.
I've always wished
Do you have nice handwriting? I do. I bet you do
Exquisite handwriting. Do you really did you do? I was
thinking about this is that I don't know. If you did, I didn't. Did you do tripoli cover now
whose cover I don't know yet came- are really good.
good I liked by the way, I'm not just the sort of my pocket.
What about sam tripoli, but go get his album yeah? Not he sees you never to on itunes, so cool. Can I tell you about it,
and if I had I'm nervous, listen to its, I love SAM yeah. Oh my cardono like what, if I feel like he hasn't grown much as an artist. What? If what if he says, one joked at close to mine and I've got to lose, it would have like all those with. In fact,
two tracks, I'm on the fucking three one, thirty four laughing his
Derek legal goddamn, a man. I never really paid attention to my pacing itself.
fun to watch your friends get great yeah, it's the
it's my favorite thing. When you see
your friends, get good and they surprise you. Could you
one or more forever and then all of a sudden, you see him, you ever watch their sets. You don't want your friends, that's a lot of time and then all of a sudden, you watch your like fucking, you, mother, fucker,
it's all fun his his sam's pacing,
is so murderous yeah,
His pace is set to keep you doubled. Yankees.
His rate of utterances a quotation pushy.
must not be balls. Dubitation pussy, like fucking, just his its aggressive.
its awesome? It's what I love about him, Pierre, it's like. If, if I could have, maybe ten
weeks ago or whenever I met sam, or maybe it was probably like seven note by ten years ago. If I could go back to ten years ago,
to eleven years ago.
And say: hey, listen! My favorite joke you have is this: can you keep doing more
that's so that in ten years you get him.
Using at it he needed a yak. Is my favorite jockeys? Might warm up every jokes ever? Was his plan basket?
all the way and say with the czech I've. Never though it ah, oh man,
almost one com and have him do it was I who was like SAM would do it
he's like now. Let's see if we can get in tripoli to do it and do it real, quick and then I'll will
this one early still try to pope papas fuckin,
in the man cave Kevin critically
support for culturally and can get him to do a bit like ass their funny because its were
it's a part of show business for people that are in no way qualified to run the technical side of show business. I have them saved under samuel. Tripoli is the samuel, even we know cause he's he's like persian right or or.
media sammy, it's gotta, be
gotta, be like after some,
I don't even know what armenians are really russian its approach.
russia is a former russian right near russian, its
the carcases mountains of russian armenia. Is you russia, when not get an answer from you,
by looking at his itunes ranking. If I was ranked on itunes like that I'd be looking at it constantly. You know
so funny is like right, one when anyone's pie,
guess comes out of it ranks fairly high? I should probably just hang up. Maybe we'll call back we're going to the bad guys,
it's called a believe in yourself. Yeah believe in yourself go to save
gotta go, get it on itunes. Yak get it releases one beginning next week, so that everyone gets
stamp on the rankings, guess who's on the phone? Everybody we gotta collar sam?
its bert, I'm with Kevin Christie, we're doing my PA guest and I'm trying
get it I'm trying to tell him a joke that you had, and I was
see if you could tell the joke turn
member about play basketball with the check the wives here
oh yeah, I want I used to play ball, just checked all the jive. Then they were like really rock and then, when they were on October one let them go about their sexual. So everytime just go down the lane
I wouldn't worry about elbowed out. Not people like she was
Ah, I was all alone on an island. I'm fine, I'm fine!
We were just talking about your album of progress on releasing this releases beginning an ex we go. We were just talking about great and sam. You really did
one great on training
I really appreciate its done uneven.
Very well.
Very good transformation of twitter for me, so I'm very very appreciative that you're even talking about so thank you to no man. You have me doubled
guy, I I literally wish that I had the phrase crush asian pussy in my act.
Jose
craig jill born. I do that job, I just a joke. Our gradual born
almost a year ago a basket?
I just want to make sure I'm a fun of black people. I'm just paisley throwing light checks,
did I gotta get. I gotta get the other podcast guards
I love combining I'll I'll text. You brother, I'm going to talk to Kevin I'll talk to you later. Okay, take your guy or sitaram. Your tribute,
got. When did you start hanging over the coming store
I guess around with over ten years ago, really yeah. You ve got your through one of the people that I discovered vip
gas? They write like? I owe the city, I think all merit yeah and your story.
Was so fucking fascinating.
You literally shut up tradition,
hang out with a friend, yeah and then by IRAN,
out of someone saying well, yeah yeah, I got discovered basically
the easy when people. Actually, how do I get an aid?
I'm lucky, I don't know man, it's like. I can't help.
yeah and I admit I'm like look. I got super lucky and was
able just kind of hang on and learn how to be able to stay.
The business for a while until I learned how to blame be effective, but I got I initially the way I got him was very lucky. You know people
We're just around and want to help me and words
Just two were encouraging. Like hey, you could probably do this a wise dry. You ve always been you ve, always been like kind of funny.
like annoying. So why are you just maybe
our attitude to do a job, so fucking, interesting and then an you are an illustrator yeah before that yeah so wait. Let's start,
because I like when I was a kid. I was obsessed with drawing brent oda
still such withdrawn, and I met to show you this isler I'll,
is my youngest. I really think about when I showed you you're, you gonna be like she's got a like a stone view for dry,
Oh really, she drew the lava boy and it was just this lava guy that lives in lava yeah and it it was
oh bizarre and she drew it then cut it out. Put it on a picture. She had
then drew on that and in mixed the two kids that there's a I saw. Some court were like as an artist you just trying as an adult artist. You just trying to get back to what you like as a kid is
their brains.
We're in the realm of just art, creating their brains are so much better.
and it's not even relatively close like when you just hear a kid describe it like. He lives in
This mountain has made of lava but also makes chocolate on wednesdays, and then the tree
It goes to this factory and they sell it and then that's the money they used to like harvest the bunny farms, all the bunnies going to have a place to live and you're like you're, a fucking genius and, like that's some cards,
net like that's adult swim, literally
old swim is people that have been able to tap into their child. Mind cause your child brain is thought. I
when I noticed when I draw there's like a cop, invisible dad because there's like
What I am drawing something there's a part of me. There's like trot treader drought as good as you can
because, like you hear deadly, that's a well drawn hand eagerly see the structure when, like tat, doesn't really matter
are necessarily but, like you get trained to think in those terms,
as you get older, like I'll make it look like you, ve, been trained and make it look like a well drawn thing like a master, drawing like the renaissance, whereas, like a rat,
really good kids. Drawing is way
fuckin better, let my verandas,
insisting upon gas, and you want me to logos like ours. Thing would be funny. If I had my
if you do not like you, should definitely have your nephew do I was
who's gonna have ilo in georgia. I
wanted. I wanted a logo and georgia droop that bert up there and I was like us. I cannot so funny you'd actually like it looks
little artsy, a little hippy yeah like a little weird. I could fuck around all day and you'd be like. I want to look like a kid. Do it and I would do it
there'd, be something missing that that has that I don't
Yeah like it's so interesting. Is that you look at it
like an I wanted. I was
going to have like I've. I've tried
maybe fuckin,
ten years too.
On a shirt that says it's a bear
It says marshmallow want that shortly.
silva, chose for a bear and the only way you got out of finding the bears he was safe. Word marshmallow is a good story. Yeah I've never been able to do it and I've never been able to do it and I'm- and I- and I way I mean you can't dry know I I I I know, I'm a whore,
draw bear that also easy to draw how serious the mound well like an o brien doing was by the way I was when I was a kid,
I was obsessed with tracing out
that's how we all learn. Yeah I'd use to trace garfield, really, all time we're at tracing paper, and I would trays garfield comics
because that's how I really liked them- and I couldn't drawn right so
would trace them and that's a kind of learned, the muscle memory you're just like how to do it
I would trace football books, okay of like people and like I'd, get them out of library. Anything with football pictures yana trace their picture, and I had the I had the board where a glue behind it and you'd put
the paper you put the thing down on top of it and I get out-
Secondly, and my wife makes follow me for tracing cause, what happened? What happened was
as a kid had anxiety. I know that, but drawing look,
let me down yeah. That would get my get me out of my head. So as that's the why I still do that, I mean I draw the time for jobs and stuff but like when I'm there's something to
I feel safer. Drawing than any other place in the world really no know how to do do find many
connections, withdrawing and stand up for acting there
the other similar I mean I did the thought processes similar. The execution isn't similar the cyprus
ass of lake, the decommission
Can process is really similar like the like looking
an idea from all sides and kind of picking it apart and trying to see it from all the angles. Do you find that you get?
of your way, similar in drawing an acting and stand up
I notice I'm I'm the same amount as objective with all them like I'm way better like helping someone else what their joke, as opposed to like working on my own say with my art like I can, when I
like I used to substitute teach at the college. I went to and like
could tell someone what to take out of a thing really easily, but all our stare, my own stuff for ever and ever and ever and ever like it's. I don't have the same. It's all
so pretty similar. To be honest with you like I'd, that's why I never. I never feel like. I never felt together
justified doing any of them like are explained
why was doing more than one think they all felt relatively similar to meet the kind of weight that you make idea.
It all seemed like idea, making and despair.
Which way you want to do it like a certain idea.
Are going to work for a drawings of, but they may work as a joke. Certain ideas are gonna.
things you can use an acting that you can't use in stand up zones
like. Where does this thing? I notice feel the most appropriate nice put it there.
Interesting. I I I would
I would watch like bob Ross emily whenever I go to add something: I'd automatically go:
Do that uniform media, but it's my but my
that is totally different. I'm always adding shut the amount into combating, showed to the point where it says they bob ross painting our call to spit and seamen, and, oh my god, oh my god, I general nick,
was the general nick interview and he was talking about how he had this joke. We're like he was very like you couldn't
you don't need any more words and you couldn't taken
We took any words out. The jug would work anymore like that.
It really looked at it as like this efficiency like the way. The way a job doesn't really interesting. If I could he's like a, you could add words, but you don't need them, but if you took any of the words out, the joke doesn't make sense anymore and, as I was fucking like, I don't think
that way. I don't know why either, and I think I think that
I wish I had an economy of words yeah. I do that thing where like,
You know it's better than you do to new bit and its doing well, and you should stop.
If you just stand up there and you milk you're like right an easter fucking tag, oh you're, oh you're like oh. This can go so much further bullshit and you just because you want to keep yeah yeah. It's that's really fascinating, because I do that. I I do the milking of it once I've got the like.
where I did a camel- and I saw with my manager the time any kind of helped me shave down what was right, what was important the bit yeah and then I did it on-
age and it really destroyed an additional kimmel.
Killed and then I brought it back on stage I was like well, this is a really short bit yeah. I've got to start writing more or just make it long again sure that's the thing sure I just did. Basically my first tv set last,
egg. This Adam divines house party thing, oh yeah, is super fun for Adam Adams. Vine is one
maybe not block in good dude,
He is a he's, not fucking route. I think he's got the perfect amount of I mean I don't know how
famous, has I'm pretty sure it's to young people that dude's pretty famous yeah but like he didn't seem it to me now, but he seemed like very real and and and I knew him he used to work at the improv yeah, and so
the first I met him was at the improv any head like double. I infections he had done like
taco bell commercial and they put a bunch of weird
make up in his eye and his eyes had like reacted to it. He didn't say he was so happy to have the job he didn't feel. Like apple dessert, stop his eyes were borderline swollen shut, and so he literally he was like. This is like a w pink eye
and he was like look my eyes that look like it's all time and I was like what the fuck he was like yeah, I didn't say anything so I'm like dude you're gonna get another
like if they are you can see here, I was in new orleans and ice and similar guy.
haven't seen in prague, ten years or more, not friends, growing up and on what the whole blushing crew that I just met. That is now my project grew for trivial,
radishes like two years ago, probably three years ago and we're sitting,
and works just come out and I see him and end and not durst butter.
blake yeah. I see them walking down the street at n a now and here's. This is the this is by the way, I'm very
on a swell ego figures, the part that then I am I
mike like I know, he's a stand up and I and I know I'm a stand up in northern. Don't doing it longer and I wonder- and I and I I don't know I know he's
in the famous right now. But I don't I wonder if he knows me, but right and I and those are all the faults are
to say, but what I just wanted to say what I just said was: hey I'm bird and he looked in his eye.
Yeah and they came up and they came drinking with us and he's like you. I work to do
improv and I was like yeah and he was like man. This is like both by the way. This is something
it was on a very famous tv shows like yo. This is like one of my dreams to drink beers with you and I'm like cool.
The big runners, that's what like is so great when I
So I like ok, I bugged you the other day I was like. Did you get a new rolex? Yes, it's because all of us are just little dirt bags
and, though, when, when someone like, as I remember atom, is the guy with double eye infections, yeah and it's like. So when he gets famous and successful it's the greatest. It's I I
me, my friend jerry, my friend, jerry or my best friends is he's two's turtle on entourage
and out, and he I refer and he came from like he's brookland like
middle middle class, the glass? I grew up here and locker centre. Oh that's, right and butler,
I refer to as all dirt people where,
we never had any
plan on being successful, really at all the elderly.
I'm getting on television on any like. Why? Wouldn't you like? None of us are,
which was looking like world, is jerks or like words
and none of us plan on getting success. And then we woke up one day, we're on tv or just like fuck and then like me,
we we got a little money and we don't know what to do with it on a level. So maybe we're smart enough to buy a house, but we just we give it to our friends and shit like morons, and then we buy all this fancy shit. It's the funniest thing to me in the world whitney same thing just dirt, we're just dirt people, just like basically st
surgeons and I'm like here. We on tv were like what the fuck and it makes a tickles me to such a degree,
because in a way
same like I was saying with the art thing
Adam still is like a kid with money and you're. It there's something so great about where we don't act like normal. So
as I'm not rich at all, but like the ones who get rich didn't. I
ignore its people at their way better. There, like they're, like more fun
dude? I got all these wars lives. It's ok! It's like it's like. We do two things at all:
and that is that I will back on that colleague. Quinn at this year's last may be lost.
Is montreal. He was like hey. I I saw that I was there in chancers to tip your eye.
A lot of changes or racial serve other way. You sensors
agency? Your fuckin feed
your axed. You members like when you didn't, have the fuckin money here and I got the money. Don't fuck him forget it too.
To you, and I was like holy shit
in my head I was like I like.
they have interpreted off again and then also
I don't know sometimes tipping isn't like the first thing on my like back then especially, it was like. I never made sure now, I'm making sure ago, around a tip every one, because it does make a fucking huge difference, yeah and then the other thing was we wanted. We rent it. This is what
will you just said slides. We read in one of those huge three
We want our sides that you put your front yard. Kids, were it's only two and fifty bucks
the islands like that thing, you have the money.
I have a bouncy house in your backyard. Every single day of the week, every fucking day, like you, have a beautiful what I, what I think is a rose gold rolex. Yes, it's gorgeous
I'm not tell the people how much it costs. I know exactly how much I want
really bad- it's fucking great. Looking. It's the same watch
Isn't it eisenhower? Yeah, you know, like my friend max greenfield, is our new girl and he threw out the first pitch at dodger stadium and he invited me so we went. It was fucking great
so corps in the dugout like freaking out, but also all like the owners came.
I mean if they all were wearing your exact watch, but their budgets fat like red, faced him build bridges
looks like you're, our man you're, the worst there, our, unlike l, l, being khakis, and they have to say much really, you got the exact,
being produced, bearded, hope, jumping off buildings. Literally, that's it's the best it such a fucking traits
It's an end around to the system I was working with.
Never looked at his spreadsheet seriously? You maybe look at our like I dont get this. I'm only about one spreadsheet, my entire life. That's what I sell books. I figured out how to do a spreadsheets happy with their email addresses in your price, so proud yourself. Deciding that I emailed it. I think I say that I am a firm and that someone does that all day, long
yeah and they're great at it and they hate every second you're like lucky. I did a pretty. We wait. What was that? What was I going to say to you? Oh fuck, both
talking to. I want to say I'm going to credit the right guy, hopefully talking to MIKE merrifield,
and I was going through that exact same thing where I was like I was like man. I said something I was like
always wanted a motorcycle look. Why don't you go? I can buy what
Where are you get one candidate by getting and then he goes? Here's what will
although it was a very honestly like whose job it is to me
I haven't atv. My wife left me I'd also like kids enough
yeah. What is it
it'd be in his apartment at a pb, not exactly yeah. Exactly that's what I'm saying
I m single I've been divorced. I
the basely only responsible for myself myself so like. If I want
I buy it night it like two in the morning I buy skateboard t shirts and advice gate stickers and by skateboard debt
I'm thirty, seven years old, I dont skateboard anymore, because every time I get a job. If I break marm, though sue me yet let em,
house right now. There are nine skateboard text that I bought and then fifty that I,
designed and I'm such an idiot. I was like you could just pay me in deaths, yeah, I I I buy.
knives nonstop. Oh you mean like like doing these like keg that, like us,
bite or co yeah. I saw that what's up of that yeah dover
no, the eye of a lead. I got this black leather minutes. Late shop is most spider go. This is but have suddenly
connives yeah, I just my eyes everywhere. I go. That's a good one. I fucking and I do not consider it helps. I remember where I got him from an alcoholic.
I go and don't let her the shows you lend them taken up a nazi pamphlet on accident. The I've I had someone come to one of my shows and give me a knife is going to defend and I've still got for your was a week
I was like. Let me give you shirt. Let me tell you for a book I'll, give you one for free did. I have the best thing about having kids is
I was I taiwan's for knives short board,
on boards like. I think it should be right under here,
onwards and five onwards run under their and our, like short, bore, no sick fuck it. You know what to shore port ilo isler that's good for her grooming,
and are you and inch, and also I wanna reporting is good to get into just in general.
as I just I felt set it on that fuckin in turkey means cards Chris rock together. What tell held it now, millions
wearing seat belts, tell is that you can't you can you can ever be back? I don't like it but
you said he was watching cipher? What they saw.
some skaters whether in the car to goes because you know
retirement escaped border. I see how many times it takes for them to get the trick rhetoric
that kid's gonna be all right yeah, because
It just takes for ever to land a kick flip,
I have landed one, I'm thirty, seven, I've! I started. I started skateboarding when I was a kid us
Escape when you first get bored, I got was billy rough.
In a cns billy rough, and I and I was like fuck yeah fuck yeah. This is it and this will redefine me and I learned how to skate on a on a quarter, pipe, yeah and, and I
great and then and then
pussy showed up and also our invokes game boarding asking and then like halfway through high school
my buddies came in an hour and they were like. Oh skipper is still cool. We serve yeah, and so I was like fuck yeah we're going back into skateboarding, and then I
I go to new york, I'm in new york,
there's a sketch operators from my apartment and my body which logos hey. Let's get long boards and I bought this long board in new york and we got two central park and we would fucking bomb that bitch
I mean fastest falk when years, when you're rolling faster than you can run, that's when it gets hilarious. And yes, that's the thing when you're doing something you can.
Normally do it's like you'd. That's when it gets. One skateboarding to me was so important because it may at first
I kept me from caring about team sports. Oh it's limitation
independence in life teams, ports
important and its great, but the independent skateboarding
provide you yeah to being. My literally coach was like. Why try to get me a nazi
bored, so that was the first like to end my my elementary school principle band skateboards at school
and so we would leave them at my friends house we
I live right near the school and then she tried to get the mom to not do that. So that was like my first sense of like rebelliousness, where I was like fuck this, like it's just a fucking, scape
but new alex so antennas like this lady, like it made me, feel pool mayfield
rebellious made me feel unique and like different and like
It was the end. There's no the thing about skateboarding. Is it's a self starting thing? You don't there's no team, there's! No one like oh you've, gotta go! Do the stuff you go out with your
and you decide to do whatever tricks you decide to do you only get it
if you decide to get its like stand up, its
really? Just? U deciding to be
as good as you want it to you, and I think it's an just end. The art thing I mean that's the thing when I was a kid. Nothing was is cool,
as there is no way you could put a drawing that was his cool as honest, a skateboard, oh dude, skateboard art, redefined art for me,
I started drawing was it? What was the goblet? Was that the billy rough one with the goblet, with the bubbles pouring out at once? It was billy rough goblet bubbles pouring out there might have been Tom knox.
there was jody. Fosters army was the first as insignia I saw rose like that's fucking, bad idea.
we used to draw serve, are I mean in the big
thing for us. When we were grown up, Florida was to draw the perfect way.
One year on rick griffin, the end
you and draw on your note book. I'm trying to find I'm almost
it's a billy rough, but it's I'll show you the picture because it's a goblet and it's a and it was like I'm a goblin, a goblet, a godson holding a cup with bubbles coming out.
Ass skateboard I'll say it. It was a. It was a skeleton hand, oh shit, and it was pouring out bob was pouring out like wine images. That's I mean when I skateboard art
I used to get the the bonds brigade newsletter holy shit,
and it was full of drawings. This is it this one.
Oh yeah up fuck factor DC. That was my board. Nothing is so
the yellow trucks and
he'll scream printing, that's the one thing, skateboard graphics lack now they dont screen print for it's. A different process are just
the way that was represented with like with like his name,
in like a big bubble in the centre and the the bubbles of the wine
bigger, bigger, bigger to the centre yeah I've ever seen that go unlike fuck me
we had to drive like temple terrace to go, get skateboard, scrubs and they'll escape workshop yeah, and I would sit and just look at decks like like almost like they're the most. They were the most beautiful there. This the colors are bright. They're on wood,
ink stands up. They just fucking jump out of you and are like this is cool. Like that's thing of the first thing I've ever seen, that was visually. Ok, that's cool! I'm not,
exactly sure why? But that's fucking coolly show it, and I want to do that, and I was
okay, I'm going to draw like I could draw. So I was like no, no I'm a dress up like that. So I would just copy graphics all the time in deaths,
I mean I couldn't even deal with how cool some of that shit was. I still look at that stuff today and I'm like this stuff is great. These guys we're going for it because it was really tapped into kind of the culture of the people and we should like weirdo
you're, just like one of either one of my favorite things. The internet right now is Jeff grasses,
love, letters to skateboarding Jeff crosses aid,
State borders gave her santa cruz,
Heroin attic then got sober now. Just makes these, like short, youtube videos on vans and is a lovely
skateboarding, and are super specific and he's catholic,
his grizzled old dude. I needed a whole episode just about fancies.
and the whole episode about gimmicks the whole episode about we like aids. So specific a knows: what's up solo, tell you who invented the trick is always like a pig,
currently Dave Andrea, invented a but I've heard some other stories like now. Thank god. There obviously cause oliver like mid forties early fifties and there are low
in other words super blue collar, and there was no money. All the money went away so they're just
normal dude, and I
I love hearing people talk about someone like you got
you don't understand at a time like human tony hot,
were like what were the best skate teams, and these were teams I'd never
and heard they were like. Oh santa cruz, popper alter their like the hobby team. You like,
the hope it in their names. You know they're, like Jim Griffin and they'll.
guys were the top you're like who the fuck are these people yeah? But it's the same. It's like when you hear comics. When you hear comics talking about names that are about boston, comics yeah, we just fitzsimmons is, will be on the podcast. Soon just had him in and we did like an exchange worked,
summonses, even you walked in and but for differences in here. Talking about these all boston comics I never heard of yet will even at the store there's like guys like none. Are you don't get it back the date James painter
Yo are before going up jada raider yeah, all yet you're like do you don't know like painter used to crush in a way that no one wanted to deal with someone I walk out. I usually walk out on stage and I'll kill a bear on stage someone's like ally, Joe used to kill six yeah. I was like what excuse with the finale joe yeah, exactly they're, like you, don't have the knowledge appropriate prater as I go. I have no idea,
wanna say I this is going to ensure this is incorrect, but that I got hooked up with his daughter,
or that he has a daughter, aka or something or she emailed me right or someone was ike
get out of the wire
in that I'm under member, but but I know he's
sexual I went and I bought his album and I listen to his album and I'm like wow, it's pretty it's pretty fucking good
but apparently with visas borrow material. So I think that was like, but like, like that's the
folk, lore of it yeah sure fuckin merom will tell you a bit it system like
here I remember once I was talking to Claudia olano, whose stepped as mark laana rinaldi's to startle the improper, whatever
yeah and she was we were talking about. There was one like when a comp can we sort of put out their greatest of all time list or something- and I was like
kind of like all this, and this she goes will kevin the thing. Is you don't really know what you're talking about and she goes. I don't mean that like to be like dick she's like, but you weren't, really there
and she was like you'd understand because she does you in the nineties at the improv, no one was better than Dana gold. She goes
everyone was like. We want a guy and a gold. She got it apparently in the nineties at the improv, when he was really doing a ton of standard back then now
Nobody was his money and the thing is Dana Gould. Is
once in a generation. Comedic mine,
you can see the holes when you see his Dana you're like oh, it's, the style of the simpsons like it that his ripple of
this so broad, but like
sure really there and like all you're right, I don't. I wasn't. There
we are in the same way she was like. We are you don't know. What's going on sources like what's going on, there are now
Like you, don't really know what you're talking about don't know. What's going on at the store, I wish I wish I hung out more, but I feel like I don't have time. I feel like I feel like I I feel like I'm writing
on stage on the road, and I did- and I may be- writing a generation behind me, but
I know where people are writing by going to fuck. It is just what I do: yeah
Emily stores and distorts really interesting now cause it's it's so different that has ever been wears. A kind of inadvertently become the cool the only club, it's like still can't cool because
letting people do podcast there and it's like there's a lot that that roast battle thing is cool on tuesdays. Ever rosebud we're comics, literally like real comics chow
each other to roast and like bill burgess.
don't forget, you know like Jeff Ross. They like judge these rose battles, you should judge it, and it's like
there's a lot of these little things happening that are actually cool and there's a great group of young comics there and its.
But we're all kind of like it's all together,
like in everyone's, like it's nice, it's not like it was when I first got there where it was like kind of dark and not do,
while, like everyone's sir, it's kind of doing. Ok, when did you get there first
so tat. This is like I probably there like two thousand to okra and it was not in a good spartan really.
There is an open like three days, the weak, because the crowds were so small and like the comics there ain't you
the beginnings of what are the really good comics now on the line
and then people that have now don't do stand up anymore, like they were just they were left.
Iversen like the late eighties, late. Ninety, oh yeah, I know who you're talking about and they were just not great. They were just they didn't, make it and they weren't going to, but you had like
Very young carrillo young sebastian, young
as easy ari people like that were good, but not
is good as they are now. They were kind of slowly
becoming the main presence there, but we're getting a ton of spots.
so is mostly the culture there at the time was all about the open. My knights really get the employer
These are really important. Back thank there was like the employees were like ari renaissance.
These two, you Simone and it was like in a clear way there in charge of the culture duncan duncan, was like the booker.
Duncan paper lineups. You realize how fucking surreal that Duncan made the line up and was doing the thing rates emits he made the line us, but that was three case but ends.
Though they were in charge of the comedy store that time, which made it really really fun and free
you can do whatever you want it all the time and there were no consequences, one hundred percent of time. You know every single time you went up and no uncared really was great
now. What was what was
What got you understandable was. The I mean it
always wanted to do, stand up, but I'd never
I didn't know any comedians, and even though I grew up here, I didn't have no understanding what it was. I dunno an open mike was I'd. Never
met. A comedian are seen, stand up at all, but I'd always like
in a guy that would regurgitate jokes. I saw on tv like I'm dying, not the first time I ever regards.
It was an elm degenerous jerk like work, my mama, because Ellen was
like comic strip alive, which has on fox on four
today that, like the one in the morning, she had a joke about
hunting- and I just thought it was the funniest shit- was it up. It was about
how hunters say that they hunt the animals color so beautiful and because you knife
my mother very attractive, but I just have pictures of her and then she goes to the saddest is when you see the the the deer at the bar and he's got the party
had I like the other mounted aramis, because he was at a party and
it's marketing- and I was just like you tricked me- that's what happened you tricked me with that word. Like you tricked me with that line, and I woke my mom
No, it was happening, but that was like. So I
you started noticing that, like thought, process and like that, like wouldn't be
like talking in that way like it would be like, like my my step. Mom pointed out once because you talk weird, I go. What do you mean because you always say this happened? It was like this.
What would be funny if it was like I was like like. I was always like real
creating myself in the situation in reference to trying to be funny, and then I just met by
billy doing a commercial and he was a stand up when I one song and then
like a year later I ran into most like. I want to be a comedian really yeah
but then you are you're just down here yet
darya, three harmony store yeah I will. I was in appropriate, finished art school and I was like doing commercials for you.
The camera in a new ar how many commercials would you save done at the clicks? Seventy five holy fuck: do you just have commercial auditioning down to a what is the key to being a good camera commercial and like getting girl outcome or not
understanding that their selling a product so to think in terms of what product or selling like an infant, find a way to be funny with in that kind of stuff.
Sure like if you're the funniest guy in the world. I dont care you your whole it most hilarious off. Color joke is not gonna work of their selling, macaroni and cheese. So like the key, is to like be funny and be unique and stand out
but dont. Think being super hilarious is gonna. Do it cause you're selling tyres like you are you're there just a function. You have a very specific
function: you're trying to sell a product so like look at how their describing they get. They put up story boards
so like look at how they're describing what they want and then execute that, while being just different enough to stand up while, but people I think cause l. Also, most commercial odd actors are in
advisers, so I think they go in and they improvise a real hard and it's like that's hilarious, put like you, sellen doritos, so like they can
Have you overshadow the doritos yeah and actually the way to get
partial jobs, is not to be the best and not to be the worst. The wanted,
when agrees on early on you're, not getting the job is I'll talk their way out of it. We want to be
one, no one hates khazars, thirty, five people that make that done.
vision, disliking ninety emails? I did you shall scott that email, yeah discard,
it will we gotta get to rob like it takes for I've watched
make decisions. It's one of the funniest is like a bit and really is like a sketch.
The way decisions get made on commercial set is so funny khazars too many
People involved are all terrified and it's the funniest thinks are talking about like chips,
and just like. Well, let's make sure Jim gets on that email to look at the boards are like the board about a barbecue Jeff and is the silly
fill it, but there's so much money involved. That's ok,
man, so much money, oh yeah, would like. What don't tell me am. I think I've always fascinated. So when I started Jim gaff can endure duty free later, were the gatt commercial guys yeah
like Jim. I remember remember: dimitri martin telling me duty free leonard today, heeded
the commercial. We sat on a la z boy in the middle of a football field at once. It was for snickers right and he and and and Dimitri was like he got paid one hundred and twenty five thousand dollars for that. Those days are dead, but they did exist for I was like the tale. I started like the tail end of that thing, because cable tv killed,
yeah, because they can pay you a tenth as much to be on cable, new basely get seem of so many people and they haven't even those those payments. Yet, but I mean it's a fucking great job. Even
even just like the the low end of what I make for doing, a commercial is still good yeah, especially when you quantify the fact that you worked a day now wait what, if someone's listening, what commercial have they seen you on like? What's your most famous
I was in a campaign for I b m, where I did like twelve, so that was most people saw. Lots of that are right. Now I'm in a
commercial for the? U p s store with the. What was the campaign for I b m, it was always mean it was. If you watch golf yeah, it was
me and a guy wherein, like short sleeve white,
around like a white room selling like servers so was like he'd be
like freaking out and I was always the smart one that was like not really cause. We have I b m, oh yeah and that's the campaign that bought me a home
do we really got married
shit
it must have been
or third thirty, two really yeah thirty, two years old. That's not right! That's a good time to get married yeah, then for divorced. He got divorced at thirty four yeah. We were married two years holy shit, yeah that was in and out huh yeah. It wasn't. It wasn't going well really. We tried she's a nice human,
instill daughter, yeah yeah, that's that's gotta, be crazy. It's weird! It's weird! What was a did you do? Who who decided to end it? It was, I think, as close to mutual as it can get, but also, I think,
I think it was a I'm of the opinion. It was a little more her than me. I think I wanted to try a little harder towards the end yeah. Then she did, but I think she was just tired granted I was a hard person to be around and you don't drink no, but I I was I
was in like a less legitimate depression, as I've ever been and didn't really feel like getting out of it. So it was a lot of me like you should just like this is never going to get better. This is how I am, and I think she just look look.
I it that was like do I want this? For the rest of my life and was like now granted I'm better now, but I wasn't then, is this post post you're younger? It was supposed to by the way my dad died.
I didn't you know I didn't necessarily deal with, or I don't know how you I don't know. If there's a way that have you done with it? No I mean now I gotta go
therapy. So fucking do. I was
this morning I was ass. We re really forty dollars or not.
because you seem really solid. I'm way better.
much better than I am than I have ever been. I feel I feel guy was somewhere. There was out, like things are pretty good like I was ascribing ironic
Joshua myers the other day and he was like. What's going on, he was like what he got we got going. I was like. Oh, I gotta do chelsea this week and then I gotta go to new orleans to do 'em, divines house party
and then what you gonna acting actings? Oh yeah, go back to the show masters of sex he's, like so
you're killing it and it. Well. I guess I don't like you,
it's pretty fucking. They look like I was like this is awesome and I, like you, know, yeah everything I'm fucking I feel are.
and you know cause I I'm better.
I know what to do now, if I feel bad and whereas before I didn't know what to do, I was like. Oh, this is your stuff. This is your lot in life to feel bad. All the time you're stuck this way. It's never going to change
So let's just stay this way and see. I presume dread is around the corner. Yeah I presume, but also its not.
It is fine to presume that. That's the thing I learned this. What I learned it's ok to like feel panicky. Unlike
which just it's about like learning the things to do when you get those feelings like you, okay, the other day I was at the grove and buying pants
No reason just wanted pants yeah I'd, I you know I decided on a new look. I was like I'm going to do this thing, so I was like I'm gonna get high water slacks and I knew where to buy them.
I go to the fucking grow. Whatever looking bold choice, though, I'm like high water slacks with vans, I think, will look because I'm getting a little older, I'm like I want to be, maybe tuck my shirt in became. I don't like tucking
you're into jeans? I dunno why I don't like it. I was like now high water slack, because then you can still wear vans and you could tuck a shirt
You have again so I go, I'm gonna go get some folk, its lax.
and so I go and I'm doing us because in sad that day day of whatever I'm lonely and then I met the grove and I'm like you're a little sad but its monday,
and like well, go to the comedy store? You can grab a spot because monday, you can do a pop in and then your friends will be there cause. That's all steve
the man was doing killed, Tony's back ass, the other guy. I was the reply and like that's the difference where the
or I would have just gone home and wallowed
be like you're, the loneliness man it's like now. I have tons of really awesome friends and king.
What calmly, club and fucking get on stage just on a ornament
big some irregular there, like I have all the things that, like
are in my life to make me happy just about real fighting,
going there there and treating them. That way, though I might my thing is sometimes I go. You know bert no one's thinking about this one thing as much as you are too for real, like you're thinking about this, a lot no one's. They know you at all
oh, no one or they're. Not thinking about you in the way you think they are at all everyone's base ends
is everyone's consume with their own life. Your cause, it's not that
oh they're, so selfish, it's hard life is very
I don't know, anyone who goes to life was ways or than I thought I'd be no, no one's a cheese. Is this his heart surgery
it gets hard one to one of the most amazing things. I've ever seen on stage to use amounts on stage. At
Please don't like a sunday, the crowds, gonna crap, now people and he's doing
aids start now he's like, and then you just goes, god isn't like
so much higher than you think it would be in the whole. Crowd goes dead, so
ireland, and they literally lean forward like Keaton
the true sir. Let him keep going. Please, like it was the fucking real is shit, so like life is suit can be very difficult, but it is for
ruin and when you realise that, like no one's thinking about like the people are thinking about me, right now are doing so in a very small way. So this
obsession you think everyone's thinking negative shit about you is not the case. How many people, you think we're thinking about you right now due account? Twitter people are people that actually know me. If you just read my tweet, you sort
think about you, twitters fucking, aware of that way, but I would think like six, maybe six p,
Oh I crossed their mind, wonder how many people are thinking about me. Let's tweeted revilers, yet out of a hundred and five
the the the the ratio they say. A good response on twitter is three percent of your total number. If you can get three percent of your total number to do anything for you, you're crushing it I'm going to say tweet me if you're thinking about
If you thought about me in the last four minutes, that's what you should say: okay, why is it tweet me how about this tweet me? If you have thought about come, I can't fucking be at that that the notion of when people think about you is, I think you can feel it when they think about you. Like the other day, I was like I, I can't you know what I realize,
I try. I think I have a decent sense of probability. So the other day I was like I haven't heard from Joel madison. Just comic minneapolis guy is a writer, and I was like I haven't heard from
joel madison improperly two months. I bet she I was like. I'm surprised, I haven't got it,
email from him just like what's goin on and then yesterday I got one that was like. So what's up so funny
just in terms of the amount of time or like to let it laugh like. Oh, it's been longer than usual that I've heard from this person, I'm due for it for a contact from them. You just kind of gauge it like. Oh, that's a little weird like oh it's been a week.
when my friend John Bronson always gives me a hard time for not calling him enough, and I know when I'm about to get a call cause. If I go more than like eight days with any kind of contact, I get a call from that's like you, don't call.
me. You never what's happening. You ate my gods, but you can kind of feel it does just that gives its for its
suffer used to you. I believe in god, instinct. I can send. You got anything very quickly
I think humans. We take our first initial instinct, which a lot allow times is right. Then we polluted with experience and then we
I use that polluted version of our first in inclination and then
I use that like diseased thing, we're like when you ve.
like they have, I am in a twelfth programme and they think don't paint red flags way
who are you and culture programme could pendency? Certainly I love it. I think I'm codependent
Did I love it when you take me to enter your media there, so that bad? If you go because I got a new friend brown hair, they make their so useful, leaned saved my life. Can you tell
we have on codependent sure I mean ok. Furthermore, I'm not.
To tell your codependent, but if you say I think I'm codependent, that's a pretty good,
Why can't you tell me from codependent unanimous, like diagnose other people? Ok, it's like cause. I don't know like a I.
No, I don't know enough about your life and it's like the whole thing.
With any of these programmes. Is you people who come to them or not?
effective. Unless you decide to go to him, though, if we ran around
we like your and our garlic you're going about it you're this empty. Like ok I'll go. Can you tell me to its like nothing works?
so you want to do it yourself to. I went to an a a meeting one time yeah and my my buddy took me and he was like and I was like and and
Just was going through a hard time. Gonna happen.
Drinking a lot both just going to a sort of finally
time yet, and I was actually not drinking
when he saw me- and I was I acknowledge
gotta figure shut out like, and I don't think drinking is the the way to figure that out and I was like
I think, as a matter of fact, I think I need to quit drinking for a while yeah to figure out what the fucks going around my life is like once you come to a meeting and I'm such a fucking.
I am such a yes man. I am such a guy that doesn't like conflict yeah that I was like okay yeah, so I went and then I'm sitting there and enlisted people to their stories about like the guy. I remember he was like you should say something and I was like I dunno. If I feel like standing up and talking yeah, because then I feel like there's a commitment to it is like well that gets.
You you don't get the ball rolling a kitchen you're serious about this, and so I was like idle talk and the guy before me goes literally
it is like having a rough day I woke up this morning. I blew my
northern, let us call on fire. Diana was like a man.
this guy is at an end, so not to say I'm
better or worse then, but I was like that's. I don't want to talk after him cause. I know I can't follow that yeah. That's the thing like I don't talk at meetings because a I know I haven't been going a super long time, maybe around a year. I know
that I will send me to one meeting and I'm talking. I've shared it.
One meeting, but I know it was a small one and I
because I know there's a part of me- that'll be like room full of people.
Let's try to get a laugh and that's not really work. Therefore, I get the most out of listening to people, because what it tells me is what I've
It is like everyone's really similar. I hear people with the exact our peoples,
the things I've heard people say problems I didn't know. I had and then when they said out loud, I was like oh fuck yeah, it's beautiful in in
I can't I swear. I can't I love it. I love it. So I tell you it, and so I tweeted tell me if you ve thought about Kevin Christie in the last
Four minutes we're going to hear a gay f we're going to have some gay slurs, but nope. There's this guy goes the average build things about Kevin Christie. Three times every minute.
Occasionally and its awesome. That's a nice! That's a really nice reference to my podcast. I really appreciate that ryan sinister, a habit, but hey
We, like me, buddy boy, had money enough. I just listen to him on I'd, see red ban! That's good! That's been ahead of what what's icy ice house chronicles, oh yeah, yeah.
Do you believe in like the collective unconscious?
cause. I notice that with artistic ideas all the time
thing that I literally thought of myself all than an artist that does never see my work doesn't know me will be.
making almost the same shit at the same time that there is like a collective unconscious, I believe that is completely have
You see what ideas all its I mean. There's like for peace.
Fontaine movies, a gig mouth, is the fact that there are like ok.
like an incapacity and like whatever that may be money based, but like there is that thing we're like hell you on the crazy?
I know
I tell my russian mob story. I mind you have not told the story. It happened, polyte an already uncomfortable
I am so afraid of the russian mob. Are you they don't fuck around? It
I am well aware that the
you know I have around you, never hear of them getting caught
Have you ever arrested? I told a story. That's really happened in ninety five.
I told her own wrote roads podcast in light by two years ago and then
I start telling on stage all of a sudden there's a movie about a bachelor party and one of the
characters names the machine, the rock comes out with a movie called. I am the machine, yeah bernard hopkins copyrights. The name
I am the machine and and all of a sudden it's like and am I I voted as I did this linked fifteen twenty years ago and the but the collective consciousness
shows up and also what there is like a progression. It's like you can kind of sea were fashion. Goes like like like right now. Sweats are very cool. The kids
of your high school, the kids are warrants coursework, pants, real. I think that it,
a reaction to extremely stiff denham like I'm wearing right now words like the anti everything's. I got
opposite reaction like an inverse, so you see that
Aren't you see that the standards like people are tired of nerd culture?
we were like a nothin shut up. Geek like we get it and andor like
are in charge now, so there are the new bullies, which is actually true, and
we're like you, shut up with your nerd should already like. Can you just talk about some real?
We are not normal life again carry through our facebook shut up and its because any tempers too much. If something is
it's gotta be an inverse. It's gotta, be it like something to ticket.
Take that away to lighten the new culture was the inverse to the nurse
culture was the inverse, like maybe ease, come
that very tv style, or even like even like, when
and was ruling to certain
great and all the guys. I think it was more a reaction to every one was trying to get a sick consular like here's, my family here,
my story and early.
Turn of company was like about anything else. It has it.
The report was about like a here's, my views on culture- and I think that was like it's
not all trying to sell like yours, my wacky life.
And so now I think, there's like too much that you go see a state of mind you, like anything,
you're really funny. I laughed out loud at all your observations. I know nothing about you, because I just
I feel about other things, and I want I want both
I don't want one or the other. I want a little bit of both. I want both. I want both. I, like I like going back to Dana Gould, but, like I like, I like watching him dissect a joke while telling a joke. Sometimes
one time I heard him say so it made a joke and then he didn't unfeminine voice for a guy, and he goes. Why am I doing the affirmative voice? Yes, let me tell you I, and then he like broke it down yeah and because it has an initiative and it was nice brain hand where he's got these gonna fuck an interesting brain.
beautiful brain killer, there's a lot of guys that I could watch fuckin killer.
Was I did didn't episode of merit and killers, a guy that you know doing stand up in l, a killer, just adjusted a dude you're like that guy is a voracious show. Greater yahoo is brilliant
and I was taping an episode of mariners like you look familiar and unlike eyes, commercials uneasily now and then
Mention mentioned like what he work. I just finished working masters of sex music
why, god we love that shower, like my wife, she's, going to freak out your the day- and I was like this- is so cool that, like you, think I am,
all right now. This is so fucking great. Like that's the thing they're like those that that's I realise I'm fuckin lucky shit, some bad things, rabbit
The way now like I have given you haven't even killed, but right a dense run of death and like financial destruction and like either with it, but luckily it happened altogether, but I'm fuckin like between
being on the getting to be ready for living and like big
to be a comedian and no comedians a friend of mine is just starting stand up and I was like you gotta find your group. Your group is the best thing
hang out with comedians. You can't really beat it. It's something I've I've said a numerous times, one of the
of all the things I've done like
my career and I'll, say my career. I want my proudest of my proudest of
having done letterman or writing a book or re selling a tv show were being on tv. The thing I am balkan, proudest of is the fact that I earned the right to com
itself- a stand up, comedian yeah, but no one can ever take that away from me, and I am a I am an ap. I am a member of a very small subculture of humans, who are the funniest human beings yeah in the world.
what is it brendan Walsh pointedly cause? I'm funny cause, I'm friends with some of the funniest people in the world you're like holy shit, you're right, oh
said. I wrote a thing, my book about
my buddy Eddie is hands down one of the funniest.
Being shall ever meet in public you. If you meet
about a chapter about em. If you met him,
You would literally sit there and go holy shit now. None of the rules apply to eddie yeah, so he can use any joke. He has he's just trying to make you laugh yeah and he will use the joke that you may be no, but in a nod to the fact that you know that he's doing it
yeah and he's doing it in front of like he would use your joke to you in front of a bar
Two people go, but he is that he's so unkind,
all of every situation
and I said he is one of the pollution and beings ever met, and I wrote the book and I know the funny human beings in the world than a realize what a statement that
was yeah. By literally you know them. I don't wanna sanity and if I dont know them, I can go introduced myself to them and they will want to start talking to me because I'm in that
group being in I mean I'm not as I'm a comedian.
I I mean yeah people. Think of me, as can be I've earned, to a certain degree the respect of my peers. Yes, you have the ones that know me and, and that to me is like the biggest that's what a lot of people at like, especially
art wise, they're like why? Don't you do like art comedy you want you like do stuff with art galleries and like the like, you should do stand up in a museum and I'm like no, I shouldn't cause. I don't. I want to be judged by comedian criteria like that like
anyone I could I could go, do stand up in a museum and they would fuckin like it or not. We are like who gives a shit. What's what's the same thing with being famous when you watch Chris rock, go up and dial back all his delivery yeah it's because he need these jokes
be judged for what they are, not the fact that that superman's delivering on yeah- but it's like I wanted committing crimes-
like I was like. No, I don't I don't wanna. Let combine people always try. Web designers,
was contact me wanting to build me a website that combines all of your very.
like they wanna like have this multi media silence like it's like, looks
good design, that you're telling a joke and I'm like. No, no! No, no literally, no because the comedy thing it's it's, it's one girl, it's own rules and, like I don't want to be
judged on a curve. That's what I was talking to georgia,
irish, because he had a really be a tragedy habit to him. He was in a car and
our foreign Angela bowers. They had carts and Angela died, and it was terrible, but for
they lose jobs. Judge admires comic. We,
modern. Last year, togethers funny dude. I think an he wasn t
we'll cracks in a cab hit him and his friend s heard about this either Angela was a comedian. Sweetest do not worry up andrea yard. I told you know about this. It happen
a little while, after my dad died, but for a while I was like you and me: have you and me gotta get judged on a curve a little bit because like for a
while, after my dad died, it was like no matter what I did on stage was like well, he went through a really to an end,
I would now just fuckin its. Let me tell it this this jokes only like don't judge me on that. Other shit like you got such a pass for such a long time, and we still get that a little bit and it's like I e wandered bisbee judge on merit and that's
What's so great about stand up, is you don't get in that called you didn't they? They do not let anyone in who they don't. Who isn't allowed? It's fucking serious like get that fuck, no fuck, that guy
yeah, it's very much like guess. I don't feel like I like I like I'm,
a headliner. Yet so
like I'm, not really like that, I heard a and, like I say his name, but the commute was like
I only talked to headliners and there it's different say who it was as a resource. I dunno I dunno
but it was like, like out away doubled by who was
at
yeah,
Here's the thing I heard, but
That's so helped by the lighting is way heart featuring the easiest thing in the world off fuck. I would love to go back to adria, it's the. I have the easiest job ever featuring, it's like being white in the eighteen, hundreds yeah like are you shitting me? I don't have to lie, so that's the thing I've headlined.
A handful of times and
so much harder, so likened
oh you're. I think I tell you
the reason they show up that's different, there's comedians then there's like
minors who are a draw? That's fucking! That's that's a group that is wrong.
really small and really hard to get into there's a lot of people that are can or can headline and do a good job over the weekend, but most of the crowds there just see
comedy, but if you're the reason they showed up man,
It is rare if you're the reason,
they showed up I'll. Tell you what up I'll put it in oliver make that's group smaller, there's if either, if the reason that fuckin thirty percent of them showed up yeah, that's a smile. I mean like just that successful yeah you know like, like it
really it's a small group to be involved in and then you and then and then you think, you're involved with it like an up. With this perspective, an unbiased,
I will say the guy's name, but it rhymes with dilber and
but like bill consistently, is under the impression that that
like that, I'm doing what he's doing that. The intricacies kids, you know he's is not. I don't think he thinks he's as great as he is. I think
he's in itself. Deprecating. Now I along, I think, he's afraid I think, there's a there's a real, and I heard this story that which went through first
season. Chapelle show chapelle cayman headline the store. It did like two nights in the main room and I went I was no. I just started I d paid like I'd pay to get in any way.
it's fucking magical and steven wonton, with the story that they're sitting around the table and back with Mitzi amid this one mitzi still hung out there and she goes. I think he might be better than richard. Pryor said this to chappelle, and he,
They just want my man like not like, oh great, just like our shit, that there is a will. There is a burden to being the.
at best a chris rock says, because I don't want to be number one and two to five is a
crazy nice life. Do you think that's why so many people,
complement each other these that yeah, because being the best for us all
You know you're going to be the best for while you see that would like a guy like like cat or Kevin heart, it is like whose neck student is fallen off, what they want to say that about these people, and there is in number
three, if your number, if your number one through ten you're a millionaire, you have get recognized that perfect them out
where you can go on get attention when everyone. Well then, you of your fucking game, superfund job
but number one man oculus rank 'em. They just
right now, right now, I'm number one right now, just right now, right now, I'm buber! No,
would you know how we are we doing writing or are we doing like we'll Chris rocks about to do an hour so who fuckin knows but?
Kevin Hart, dude yak, is, is literally kind of changing the game, cause these movies yeah these enemies like and I'll, tell you what I know I didn't
we can, then he started philly having harder. But when I meet and worked fucking a kind of razor sharp it is on its like it's it's.
so good it is there in his limbs were made us all
I saw a moment treadmill last night in his own. I forgot the name of the special, but it's not the moment the flames bind, it is the.
why were you just in black leather yeah? I was by the way by the way of working
with love to just have the confidence
of black entertainers wardrobe toys off I get so worked up and I end up in the same fucking.
White uniform, which is genes and a black
colored shirt and black shoes. Yeah I've. I've started just doing all black like a black t, shirt that don't let everyone know that I don't. I don't think I'm too great, but I've got enough to be their links should not out of them confluence of black comedians. Oh yeah, you look like eddie murphy, red leather bitch. Just look like I mean,
did you have you? Did you see the twitter war that happened between my captain Kevin, hart, yeah and and by the way I didn't know if they were joking around or not?
I was thinking I wish there was a fought for one. Beef was genuine on twitter. So
new, who is actually mad at each other I, but but the confidence
and by this I mean this shitty an oily. Just by that, because I don't mean it
Did he, but I dont know what how people read into what I said. Yes, it's something once about Tom green, not even trying to be mean at all on this guy parking, Lawsy shit on me at all
Why was it? I was actually complementing tambourine bear to think about the way, but I just want Kevin hordes confidence. Get it
the book on releasing this next week. The book has come out. I am assuming cause. I would know by now too little to an unfair, no vampire
I mean I would probably have an idea if it was going to be a bestseller right right now they wouldn't give me like a heads up. I think you're about going to be a bestseller yeah, but it's not, but I'm still
self deprecating that I'm doing a tour to promote this book. Yeah and literally I went through, and I was like the press release after it's been released and I was like. Can we take back some of that stuff cause? I don't wanna, I don't wanna make it sound like I'm
confident that I want to give you a churchill quote, as it is,
something in the face of cap n bill?
like
in the face of ability, is hypocrisy like being self evident.
In the face your own abilities busy, just hypocrisy that you're fucking funny you know
But I think if someone told you if someone tried to get you like you're, not funny you'd be like oh
oh, really, oh yea, all right, but the second
really, I'd probably not be, is it said white way, people I think about this. A lot worse were like being called stuck up. When I was a kid was like the worst thing: oh yeah, like the leopard stuck up and signal.
You know stuck up Michael Jordan, you like you, need to find out about their certain. Is it because I think that a certain amount of conference it takes a like ass from the ball and like sailor,
No, I can do this. You know I see that with a who's always been really good at that as whitney, when he's like. No give me them like give me the bike I'll, do it I'll rewrite your script? I'll have a tv show and it's like I had a minute.
a few months ago, as the guys we're like hey you wanna, like wrapper, show around europe like eyes wrong,
No, no, no! No! No! No! No! No! He really wanted want to yeah. Seaver is easy. A little bit taller. You has better hair because you're afraid of the it's all just a fear of failure, because if you give-
I mean I believe this too- is there to serve.
It's one of the reasons I don't combine. A lot of the stuff I do showbiz is not it's not the it's, not the meanest business, but it's not the nicest
one day there done with you and they put you in the trash. If you gave them everything all of you is now in the dress, so you don't want to wake up one day and everything about using the garbage so protects some of it.
It's like. I dont trust, NBC. I'm not gonna, give NBC my paintings and hope they do a good job
gunnar and not that they'll have like
evil in mind. But they're, not that's, not the business. Therein is like
it's like. I don't I wouldn't I don't invite combined things, because I don't think they belong there a lot of time, so so fucking interesting. I just don't.
Yeah. If you give them all you than all of using the trial because of one day just the nature of business, there done it's a duck whose funnier than don Rickles done, Rickles isn't dead.
So why isn't he? On television every ten seconds, don Rickles is work in other worldly funding. I think I think Kevin heart became. My friend is my friend jerry from he's in things like a man,
well yeah and it I I was I drove by the billboard we ate last night I go, and I saw him I was like your face- is the biggest face on that billboard because I know I go. You know why racism Kevin hart star that movie, but some fucking white executive was like nah put the white guy up for our fleet. I think I think they think,
but I think they probably think they need a cross over together, like we're gonna get beginning a black shouting and cutting back on. We need. Why don't I now Kevin hearts, adamant aid and I did they got jerry's fan base jacko up of what can be done
but the thing is like Kevin heart was baking, surprise hits for what five years now, how many super, how surprised it we're gonna get. That is
it is gonna have a hit again. I watched his special. I forgot the name of it and, and he does a bit about his, he does
bit it so and showing the way he's talking like it in and by the way. Once again, I love cabin or not, but it bomb just pointing out when I noticed like he's talking about his manager and his manager was there before the money yet, and I mean
That sounds like that. You you'd never hear a white common knowledge. The money acknowledge the money. Louis did it once where he was like. I was flying first class and he starts he goes. He goes I mean because now you know what I fly first class, often
I'm going to differ life and you any met any made a bit out of acknowledging the money yeah, but Kevin did make a bit out.
he goes, he was there before the money, a gap he's a real person before the money and an end, and then to its end, he's talking about his posse.
I got his drivers bodyguard his style
whatever and he's got his wife and his check and in the story he's kicking the duties ass. Unlike that is so
on why out a thing. It's also in a country that still actively trust your press, black people, it's important to know
you're on success. We have no. Not only am I not only that transcend the entertainment business, which is hard. I did it is a blackmail
which is way harder, no one, was giving him the ball. No ida publicist. Tell me
no one's hard to get on the cover of a magazine than a blackmail
We all want to do it and I was somewhat kevin bozeman. I think I'm almost certain issues
is coming out of cargo and functional errors, and we will work
when we can and he was born lowing my doors off stage yathrib from for any clean and were in wearing a shambles,
illinois, which is predominantly white, been there
He is drove the girl needed by porn once, but I was
Making a movie in illinois- and I needed porn is back when dvds were a thing and I I I, the closest porn shop, was in gurnee. I drove like sixty miles to get bored to get porn,
So I have a bozeman nurse in the back, and I and I dont know by shared this with them, or if I just had this thought in and pretended that
I shared it with them, but I'm pretty sure I did and he wasn't being a dick about it, but he was like. I wonder why they don't headline me at these clubs, while I'm just featuring cause, I think I'm pulling up knows. Maybe I was coming off a compliment. I paid him about how funny he was yeah and I was like- and I just realized very quickly in the moment. I think I shared this with him, but if you put my picture up in front of the improv you will get
just white people yeah by people just like humans, they'll be like. Oh, let's go, give it a shot. I want I like comedy: let's see if this guy's funny, if you put Kevin bozeman, oh yeah, and
and he's not even like urban act at all, now, peep an end. I think they like him just as much people to see the face and they go. Oh it's their night.
Yeah and I walked ill it that shit still exists and is still a real I'm going to have to. Let me look like in my view.
if you put a if you put a picture of a a, maybe not because I like I like hip, hop but like if you put a picture of a,
black musician, I might assume its once type of music yeah an end just because, based on color, like a that's part of the human experience, not neil,
I hosted a show on sundays with Neil Brennan in santa Monica, and we were talking like. We have a really diverse, and I just talked about this, who just talked about this on the podcast fits. Maybe he does it all the time yup
fitzsimons. He was talking about it with rogan rogan said he wants to come down and do it. Okay, yeah, it's great, you can do all new shit, we encourage it yeah! It's like it's a weird kind of art.
structure of our shows, headliners working on new shit for their acts of god. Please I want to go down that all thy way in its end, but what one of the things the blame
works, our show. Sarah melo, we have a really diverse lineup. We probably have more black comedians on our lineups than most clubs will Kevin's whole pod kit or not Kevin neal meals. Co podcast is about white people.
You know it were lit, manila and literally proud of it cause. Our shows are fucking great yeah. We have all different kinds of comics all the time and you just it's it's given me an exposure to a
but comics that I probably wouldn't met it calmly store.
Whatever other rooms I do because most of the places I go as much awaited
the limited like dude now Roy would junior, for it would seem
None of the body is due to end voracious writer. Now we
like hey, vague awaiting it like working on at the he Neil was like come to our current work into our show every week, because
he's always come with new shit and it's like
these are people I would never have met in their only pig held there still literally being held back because of race. You look it look at
and I'll tell you right now, and I know that we just brought him up and that he had beef, Kevin art, my gifts, my gifts, hilarious, MIKE epps. I I I one. Iraq tony rocks, fucking great a party with my gifts,
a bunch of new york and I know he doesn't remember it because I've run into him since and he just didn't. Remember me yeah, but I'm sure if I told him the night, he may recall recollect them
But I remember watching a most stage and I hung around him a little bit when I was working the door. The Boston comedy club, tony woods him now we're Barnes grew bars, one funny
beings. I've ever seen in my entire life ever seen. Greer now, Greer Barnes is one of the funniest human beings in on the fucking planet. With the most you think, Kevin hearts. Timing
good yeah greer barnes his timing, his body his his is his commitment to the bit. He would do a bit about scuba diving
and he was underwater, hangs. Making the noises in his body is moving, slow and just and then taken
a joint underwater and passion.
I say those bids I instantly think of the first timely denham,
I know I was watching delier diabetes, absolutely on his head
and some were some kid was a cab. Monsieur does is physical stuff. I got ok. Imagine doing it the first time at the ha ha where
what christy's to work out a lot like our right here comes the
in my bit were apt to stand on my head hope it fuckin goes well if you bomb that bit you're upside down
you're, literally upside to Hell. You slowly stand back up
you see someone who has a great physical bit, the balls it ticks there was. There was a guy of france
who's out of new york and act. I knows brothers and actor in them, they're making movies. I don't know
I know he's out in l a I ran into him one day. This is it hans and Franz know it from the black dude out man at the black dude, and he he had this bit. The I've never seen a bit kill harder in my entire life and it was about the Jamais.
then there is the jamaican who went on long island blown railroad any with a rifle. He shot a bunch of people,
this whole bit. Was I just just wanna play dead? I just will be like. Oh no, you shot me and then just and then just he like played
add, and he and his whole thing was like oh he's still shooting, but he's talking about side of his mouth and he's like. Oh he's, not looking and he'd get any slide.
Off the stool, yeah eddied move his body across the state
it's like the microphone in his head is oh
I don't know novel moved up, but it was so.
Fucking genius is beautiful and I would sit back. There go the commitment, yeah and when you see someone like that, you're, like you're, a beautiful little pony right now, you're
like this little ballet dancers, clown person perfect little being in its kids. It's childlike,
It's like look at me. I'm wriggling on the ground combined with an adult brain and adult sense of humour. It's a theirs is beautiful meld of both things. I don't have anything physical. Am I act right now? I try. I try to be
louder and occasionally just from the standpoint of movement, because the type of committee- and I am to anything I can do just to break up the rhythm, because otherwise I'm distant.
like where it's like standing there doing word problem, because those are
My favorite comedians aren't like people to stay
in there and make observations like I want it like. I want to see like show me something like perform. I want to see like the aunt, because that's when you see the inner child
that's when you see some ones like that's when there
part comes out when they like the getting the thing they can't stop themselves from doing physically is so honest, they're like no. I got to dance the sport you're like really you gotta, like that, so beautiful you're, like you, had to
it's that part you had to let it out. I got to write this down now.
Now you're saying this now make a note of just I just recently. I I don't know how I wonder where this, how I got on this
I dont where I unaware unawares came from, but just recently I realized all napoleon the work
I think it was in in irvine. I was like I'm I'm really cause. I wasn't drinking and I was like I'm really kind of
going through the motions of stand up sometimes going to the clubs headline in ireland, and I think what happened-
I think, honestly, is that the machine story got so big. The people were just coming to hear that yeah, and so I knew I had to tell that's. Why would fuck around for my?
One sake in the beginning of the show than tell by showing that to a bunch of stories, and so, like the other day, I was like I am not putting in the
work, I'm not listening to my sat spray, I'm not I'm not doing any of the fucking work out, that's necessary to make to be a better comic yeah. So I started writing my book and I was like I got a new book and I was like I'm gonna get into
fuck. I've had the same book, yeah literally for fucking two years, and so I was like I'm gonna get a new book and I'm going to really focus and write, and I was like alright and- and I was like and then
What do you want to write about and when you just said something physical, I was like you know what what if I said to myself bert work on something try to find something: physical like make a real fit funny physical bit. You almost think in terms
like what would I like to do physically and then that and then you're like ok, I got member, it looks
The bastion has a bit re throws something in ROS years goes like our
or I throw something like that. I go. It's so fund a watch and it just so
so like I had a bit- I wrote a bit about- that's how I proposed I just through
at my fiance, like twenty yards away decay, and I just sleep
so I was literally so I could throw it. So I could pantomime throw something on stage yeah cause like that looks, so it's like dancing feels good like it literally feet. You feel good doing it's like this, weird natural.
thing that humans are oddly enough meant to do so when you're doing those bits. When you let yourself be physical and they work it's perfect like it is,
The perfect, like kid like moment, where it's the same, it's that same mechanism is when you're a kid where you're like look at me and then you would
some weird physical shit for your parents and they did a good job, and here it is like bouncing around the guy. Now I just relax
what I said out loud nose like I have I've, no physical bit my act now, I'm a fucking wordsmith and anyone that see me lives like hold on bert. Are you talk?
about the minute. You walk on stage rip your shirt off and start dancing. Bear then throw it on the ground and do the rest of your shirt set shirtless talking about that non physical shit, yeah fucking, the fact that I almost getting it yeah yeah, I yeah really. I realized that the other day I was like the act, the the act
doing right now regularly. I, like a you, have no emotional connection to this anymore. These are thoughts. These are things you cared about a year ago.
Oh, what do you care about now? Like I've, I've won,
I really like right now. It's is somehow combines so
every in pugs, then in, but unlike its work
I'm thinking about right now or whatever it is it's like. Unless that's I was just talking about this. We are telling
a dahmer era and I think that's what's kept him coup,
Oh he's a lot older than than a lot of the comics. You see a maying around whether the clubs but dom still cool, because he never stopped writing jokes and doing nothing
and also hang on being a part of the culture. There is a danger in like success. Where are you
stay off the streets in a weird way, which is that's, what's so great about being a comics any given
or you could just go. You could go hang out at the comedy store tonight. There will be like yeah. I went one night. I went one night to do the kill tony yeah and I literally hung out- and I had such a fucking great time- yeah. It's like it's like nourishment in a weird way, cause you're. Just a
part of you to support our ones. He's only gives you is that you got out and get some beers yeah
somebody I went away. I can bombed six people there on Monday. I ate it with this new bit about
bugs and then I went up and wants to kill tony biogas. There hung out on the porch it with
susan, ray helloween fucking somebody to kill tony podcast again. I had so much fun, it's so fun, but it's just a part of that. That's the thing! It's it's the it's, the being a part of the group that keeps you
like like invigorated it's going around it like the other clubs and when you go to these other places and doing and performing it's very, very fun and you get it from the audience. You kind of get that feeling.
you can feel invigorated, but it's that hang out with your friends who you feel comfortable with the comedians. That's why I like to an ice house, chronicles yeah as you go there
psych everyone's fuckin having a good time, there's a little bit of all boston and you got no room. Were area
One wants to see. You succeed, all your friends yeah, so no one's fucking stuck in the show so that you suck it's just like alright, you go on there. Is that like there's there's a real standup is
a great place right now. I think sir, we're at you can be any kind of state. If you want, you can find your own little following and you can just do your thing. It is that's that's! The thing is that you can do a kind of our any kind. Aren't you want. You can do anything
one it's great and there's money to be made. I'm going to pay, I told fitzsimmons, I'm gonna give him five thousand dollars to go over my next hour with me and just sit sit yeah five show's going to come. Five shows watch me work five different times and at the end, give me notes and tell me what to get for people
My friends have an hour. They go. They come on our they'll. Take me on the road like for the purpose of like you,
and watch my our workers and work on. If I got an hour's
right now. I would. I would take the money they pay me and I had to hire three of my friends. I guess
but today, as its main kevin's, our perfect yeah, that's it we're going
like a lousy. Our I just got. It was ok, that's an hour of material. We're good yeah
As I got an rewrite it, I didn't rework it if it wasn't broke, I wasn't that's it right there. It's! The mai settlers is right. There,
that's I wanted. I wish, I wonder you a book of comedian settlers there we saw in,
looking well, you know
gee larsson are crazy. Looking really little boxes and doodles suffer sweet. Looking by such things as sets or that
opening, by the way, can't melt it was too there's a there's. A there are certain people I like to. I will fuck with if their names come up eddie. If this one
ways by go to. If someone brings up eddie, I always done that. I did. I don't want of money. I think at EU that with ari all the time, not some us he's not funny, but it's just that he's just a he's, not a good person that he's human garbage
and that is to selling garbage to the world's. What about we? Don't you know what jean harassment, avis, rossman neve. Interestingly enough,
the settlers or draw settlers are drawn in art and that's how he
wrap reactors the bit is he sees something
like all clown around about it. I did they find that suffer its that's the thing. It's all the same gear.
so you know what's so fascinating that I am sure everyone probably already knows, but you are, but you do all are a storytelling posters yeah. I did all the storyteller posters, that's great. You do
Do you asked for anything like you know? I mean I know not not for money, and I mean like to you ask already to give you some insight, or do you just do it? He
usually actually the fun part of that is aryan. I kind of cool.
Elaborate on the idea which I can tell he really enjoy
it'll be like it's. This theme and I'll be like what about this conflict
There was one that was like revenge, so I was like how about a hunter being skewered by a deer's antlers and he was
cool? Can it be like this and, like he'll, add a thing and I'm like yeah we'll add that are like oh, be cool? If this, so we kind of kind of talk back and forth a little via text, and then I then
do it, and then he changes all the names for hours before I have to
I said oh yeah, I was on one of those. I you sign it and then he rifles it away, which one were you on. I have no idea. Okay and it was probably
willing to do. Shitting road had already run story. There arose during that. I hope it wasn't the proposed something
it's my least favoured six, but I get nervous, answering phones I'll do now. I see for a phone number and I'm like I'm afraid of my phone on the rag like I don't like it.
I think it's tagless I'd answer it if it was tall glass but I'm not certain, it is, and I don't want to get. I don't want to be like hey how's ever I'd answer no heartbeat of a tall glass. He leaves the fucking best.
It is in the world. All you think. You're fuckin rod gets us into a tag last message, and this is how much fun it is to get a message from non lies chest pure funny. He is, he is a child spirit. He is,
purely funny all the time I mean when he was on at last garlic standing, it was the best I did that season. I did with him and I get got too like those some my virus and just
being around him. He was so funny yeah and so on all the time mrs Todd's messages are on he's just like you're, like oh you're. He knows like that to David Alan Grier, Eric
Hold on the white god, you must be rich, rich people don't have to say that tree. Don't leave a message. I'll be back emailed me food. I left for the drug charge. I bought. I'm roaming, don't hang up now, don't even wait for me to finish. Dorothy do this. Missus goes on for another,
we're fucking, good yeah. That's what I'm saying that this the lifestyle you just play to your phone got your rolex made of gold.
steal, your hobbled orders
yeah calm down with a two tone a day Joseph used to love that yeah yeah. You have another one, no just those two and that and then, by the way I have a digest. Also so calm down. It's a good note, good yeah, the two towns nice yeah. That was my that was my first watch yeah, my dad my dad gave it to not to, but my dad gave it to me when he thought he was
does that sells really weird by like I don't wanna talk about it, the boss, you dad
everyone's like really october, and I we were up because I was
enjoy it and it's incorporated
listen deputy fearless anymore marin's. You talk about
it's very honest and its, but it's like that's. Some podcast, like
that kind of we're not gonna, learn nothing new about it. There are no new developments. There are no new developments.
yeah. It's I, you know it how it's going to happen. Everyone at one point one when I'll die, my kids will deal with it and it's just one of those things that the the the inherent sadness in life is that yeah this doesn't go on forever.
Twenty of life, is every literally every one. You know that it's just like. I remember my.
To be sure that council and mark mark up my marriage marker, more cronan mazurka
oh buddy, you gotta get used to this. They now argue cancelled. I mean I remember the first time I got fired. It was of the guests.
on yes, dear and billy gardelle. Actually, that day was
talking about. He was talking about talking to his dad. He was like yeah. I got fired from a thing and I start to explain to him.
What they tell you is that all
was a raise a guy bullshit. You got shit canned, your ass, your game, and it was a year and then I got fired like
four hours later, sir, and I was like well and then and then like I got
fired again like six months later, in a really shook my brain, but was like
and then I talk guys like oh yeah you're, not a fuckin, real
not in show business. You been fired a couple times. Oh yeah, can you gotta get over it
I mean I've. Seen people get wreak. I've seen people get fired, a table reads. I was once flanked by two people who both lost their job or two
worried a pilot yeah you can feel it happening is just part of it. You chris rocks it in some areas that you're always auditioning,
the time that there is no relax we're in that there's no relax,
I remember when I met george lopez at a table red fifteen years ago, and he was talk.
About taking men, seek out as a feature and how this young kid Carlos was kick his ass on stage and he's like. I had a fuckin wake up, because this guy was killing me really
yeah. It's never, and you know it never goes away. I mean it
once in a while I'll be featured for someone. If I don't know, I'm like you, I'm gonna do tonight and make it a little hard that is, and all that. So that's a that's a that! That's nice to me,
That's a well! That's a wake up call when you, when you have a hard time following someone yeah and you're, just like mother, fucker yeah. That's why I bring voltron on the road me think voltron can still heal.
lip he can land a heel flip today, because he can fuckin crazy.
yeah, oh yeah, why did I told you forgot about that? Motherfucker can heal flip. I must tell you this. I never got distracted listening to what kind of purchases
Also I take winter. I I I started skateboarding again like one.
He at thirty years old yeah. I went out and got a got a small board and I started just straight up: skateboarding be my buddy croix and we were like fuck it. Let's do this, let's just get small boards. Let's,
how did you kick flips yeah? Sorry, I do all the star with alleys and every out and learn how to ali but like and then also
and it has taken the bars and we went to the state pit and a woman took
I skateboard away said you are too drunk to be sick, you're, going to break an arm, and I'm not letting you do that. When I was a kid and I used to keep the pipeline in upland, there was a guy
six years old and relegate yet I just there
video outposts in online either days a guy and he isn't does like northern california and he just started skateboarding. He said
eighty, five wholly chinese, clearly della yogurt each has its flow. We style, where you to say, like an ogre today doing in fucking as soon
I'm done with his next jobless, pick up the board and go skating. It's fucking its vital, and now I'm gonna try and do tricks with just the movement just the flow.
It puts you, you can't focus on anything else. Could you will eat shit? No I'd. Take I take my long warner. I stand ilo at the tow yeah and I hold her. Fingers will go.
crews. She loves. It feels great, and I mean did like I did it, I've gotten
much more and escape boarding and like the last year I did skate designed for this company but really toy machine and which was that was like the best. I can't even really describe what how great that's like some childhood dreams. It like one
when I went to the fact that I tell them what they pay me index, which a soda but likes like it was getting at eighty of em and when
I went to go pick him up like I put my car and they just sat there and wept cause like I was you don't let's
it's like. No, you don't get. I was trying to explain it to a girl I was going to. I was like you, don't, like you don't understand
This is when I was twelve. I was like I could ever get it
Drawing on a skateboard that would be fucking it
like and for a time, she's gonna be
Will this cut out like this is fucking crazy, like this, the
I am said, I don't want to get over that shit. Yeah like I was like
and is, when you get something like that like by age, to have like a experience like that, it was so
fucking great. I couldn't even handle it, and then I went. I drove her san diego right out the words to hunting to beach, we're like the guy who on
company example things? These are really famous skater like we're going to put together the ed templeton design and
and you're, going to do a trick at templeton on your at templeton boredom and fill it with my fuckin fountains like this is so- and I do not like this is self in great, like this
is craziness and, like that's in
and obviously the reason I got to do that was from being stanhope really I could draw. I became
add editors, wife, like standards. That goes any time I'd. They go see
at a time when they found out community go see me and they would
read my twitter on road trips
in his winter is fucking by the way. Don't think I posted, I don't think I didn't have justice by going yoga
Twitter is fucking hilarious. I really twitters relief under MR andor, and they would reach
they're my twitter on road trips and and
wife Deanna was like wary of Kevin.
Do you like a series of designs based on twitter jokes, like that
cause. We were talking about. Maybe me doing something just like you should do a series based on twitter, jokes and I was like oh fuck, it's a good idea and that so that's why
I was able to do what. How did you do that? I just took we I'd like prior to two hundred
alex. I sent him to add. I was like pick twenty you like and then I'll pick the ten I liked the best and the ones I thought could come up with like justified the best imagery
like inspired good imagery and then,
is weighted down, and then I did the designs when I just did the drawings.
I am seeing if I can pull up some of your twitter jokes. There's got to be good today I didn't do all I did today was therapy setlist. I did
therapy settlers every time. Every every time I go to therapy odious atlas, it's nice, a yoke.
Christy, art, Kevin Christie, comedian yeah. I did therapists at an hilarious tweets from comedian kept
christie really, oh yeah. I I think I know who put that together. I don't care what my tattoos will. Look like when I'm old, if someone wants to see my
at that age, they made the mistake not through
rose, I also want background checks for buying an acoustic where women are portrayed.
Worse than you ever commercials than in port. Has that absolutely true?
Have you ever seen in your commercials? Theirs,
oh please there, like the inn,
they make them seem like they're, so dependent on the taste of this yoga. They're like oh, I had an eclair yogurt today, like your life, is so sad that that's all you have like. No, you have way more going on than this. Whatever I see tiger, this is great. I think, they're, giving me the thumbs up for being too smart to pick up.
This murder. That was one of those gay to that.
oh really, so that one, it's the one of the characters of the company he's holding his thumbs up, there's a knife in his hand and he's the devil in there's blood. Like dripping,
half the night. Oh wow, that's fine! I buried the jokes, unlike the top of the board and the gravity of the body
fucking bitterly. Let me put the joke on top, which they cost them extra to do separate screens for the top of the boards.
Really I couldn't do that some shit
So we are told me that when I was a kid-
I believe you are mean for lying. Let go you
to be comedian and then as the
no is gonna. Let you combine your jokes and you're drawings and then they're gonna make
Skateboards and like when they came out
came up. Maybe six months ago I would say
online and, like I aunt instagram and I'd, see like new,
There is a like a video of a kid kick flipping.
Am I boards I got this. Do toy machine set up like that?
king insane to me or like the pros who'd, the guys who skate their own deck like that
I can't even deal there can when I think about the way, the girl, what does the role of those
for those graphics played in my life is a young kid. Like my parents or my
I'm taking you escaped shop me going. I want to tony hot board, getting it and just staring at it
Are you suggest stare at the ground? There is a way that graphic of tony hawk. It's like it was a hawk skull sky and cross behind it, but then also approve my birthday. I I was for my birthday. I got the re barbie power,
more, which is a rag doll, drawing yeah and- and I couldn't in
It was contingent on a report card or something I couldn't keep it. If I ag, if I got no apps or something I got shitty grades yeah
and but might still knew where it was so. My parents leave the house I'd, take it out of the closet. I would just stare at it. I would just stare at the graphic. Has the
sk I shant kleiber drew it in the ground like destroying, so I would just draw drag and drop drop. I would look at these.
It's like I can't even deal with how cool these are. Those telegraphic of santa cruz graphics,
dns sore lack pus head. All those guys. You just look at those grab: visionary weren't, you billy! I can't even I dont know how to make this year
That's the thing I would look at it and I'd be like I think, I'm a person who can make this stuff, but I don't know how yet- and so it's so fucking great- that you'd look at that
or if you like, and its skateboard, you go rip
yeah she's some guy ripping on a piece of art, it's like saga
surf sort of painting ears like what the fuck this is too good. I mean when I got my first surfboard I was like woah what're you talking about what size board yeah
designed to carry me. That is a living off. They go together and they go. They go together more than you,
the vagueness on the board, it's all part of the culture, its all the thing each company has its own style. Each company has its own feel
the writers have their own feel. Are they dirt bags? Are they fancy? Are they making money? Are they like guys and van it's this?
it's so similar to stand up. I wanted to. I I want to do I I definitely was I I was trying to think of the right way to say this. I definitely think when I look at like comedians, I think they could have a shirt that is them.
like yeah, like that's the closest you can get as a shirt. I was talking to haikou stray ho and he was like. I think I want to do a shirt for when I do gigs as like you should, and then he was like I I did some drawings to think of what I might look like and I looked at the drawings I was like. You should use your own drugs yeah. I was like they're fucking cool they're, unique to you and like
Someone will feel like their buying a piece of you suppose. If I do it, it'll just be my version of your version. Did you
who are you sure, with the us on the tongue? Now that
with my maxim, oh really wiser, he's super get there he's really. I can't fucking news the computer to make our. I don't know how
Oh, like one people need like a quick turnaround, t shirt, I literally donor, the ability sweet. What are you doing? I saw everything by hand and then you go here too. I can cut I'd colored the time machine debts in the computer. It took me I could have painted them ten times.
It took me to do the earth, in fact,.
to add to show em? I claim the files you he
What about you can like similarities like what the fuck is going on here? I didn't. I
so bad, it illustrator the programme that I did. I just had to keep them
over the top of things, fixing my mistakes. He was like these are a fucked like they worked because, like these are a crazy mess, yeah cause. I just didn't know what I was doing and now the program
and I still I dunno how to do it again. I have to relearn the next for the next graphics. I do so funny I wanted. I was gonna. Have my daughters.
draw a bare obsessed with his bare hands.
I dunno, I don't think I have it on my phone and ipad. Draw bears meant to treat one and my wife's like I like that one, the best one I've traced I was like, I think you might have to go. I think that was the problem with the with what's the street art guy.
with obey the guy, he ain't ordinary did the parodi AP photograph of our president you're here
Perfectly lied, real end. That copper infringes. When you make multiples, you can do something one
Is it in and you get away with it fine like he could have taken that guy's photo blown it up, sold it in the gallery and got away with it. But it's when you make multiples and sell the
that's where the guy was like: hey man, you're, making money off this which he was yeah. Those posters were,
expensive and they sold out quick, but then he lied in court
jail worthy say just he said like I didn't
He disliked about. I think is awareness or whether or not he knew, or whatever of these lie down a jury to bear on the internet, and it looks really cool skit. There's a copyright free when we have a fucking, walkie talkie, here's my daughter's got me walkie talkie, so we can communicate
and end, but apparently they turned one on the habit of me.
We'll just have iowa iowa's got an interesting brain know. She did a collab, I dunno. If I dunno, if I have It- and I was yesterday- I'm signing books in iowa said one assigned some.
yeah it was like. Well, I don't think anyone really wants your signatures. Look I draw pictures. I was like yeah sure why not so she drew like she drew crazy, fucking pictures.
in all these books? I just sent them out. I was like alright guys is the picture from iowa, dude and shit. You can't kids' drawings. I will look at them all day, they're way better than that
and here you know what we're gonna take you back to the house- oshea some others drawings- that lends put up his hands like he's a fucking sick yeah. That's the thing you should. Definitely, if you have access to kids drawing you should use them on the fucking steel or file. A second pillar college, yeah she's, not going
college routes or sell tee shirts with her drawings. That will send her to college. You could thorough
you could easily do that. You have a large in a fan base and that by the way, hilarious. These assured this is.
right? It's like we were talking about what it's like as a kid thinking he's cool. It's like the minute. Your kid is, like you really, I'm so cool. I used your shitty kid drawings to send you to college. I'm so cool you'll never be punk
You said that our house lay that fell fucking grape. I made such a good fuck, I'm so cool you'll never be pip vessel.
I mean him and his kid make skateboards by hand together yeah. You know, what's the kid going to rebel against thought, and I remember that
when I first started, instead, a damon wages in the store making fun of genuine
junior. The time you get arrested for, like stealing is like mother fucker. We're rich is weak
you're, pretend you're going to gang. We live in beverly hills, man clad in what was now damon. Wayans Jr has a fucking hilarious actor and a granic also good too, but he has like what's what's fitz his kid pissed about his hilarious. It's like. I have fans, mother fucker, a lot, that's like
lot of bans, but think you have a lot of fans,
dude you suck. Do I go on the internet and check yeah, not really in fact, I'm beloved, I'm respected and beloved by my peers and the public I've known as authentic smart and, like I'm, a voice of my generation. Would you do today when you go to college, your kids are going to want to get drunk with your friends drug with me, they're gonna want by the way your friends are going to have some of your friends want to hang out with me. Not you all the fucking time. Is it or are going to go pick up? My kids, like it was a good that was a good one hour. Forty five look at the hummingbird. The hummingbird comes in and flies in here,
Sometimes the flies out. Dragonfly lives, whitworth where's, your niels room,
it's the westside comedy theater in santa Monica recycled with your I gotta. Do it dude anytime, Sarah melo? She works the AL get your stuff, usually I'll I'll give you. I gotta make sure you get my number of sexual at all, because I want to do that. Amplitude, it's great roy's there, all the time. Now I hosted every week.
And literally the green room is like a writers. Are we sit help each other at great, so absurd?
Well, fuck I mean last last time I was there. I was out of town, but later it was me suey mccall of Roy wood,
Michael palace, and we literally it was like a writers room rose like I got. This thing was that in we're just helping Neil was helping each other is back in magical. It's a mess.
Ethical, magical environment. What what's what your twitter accurately? I cry of energy, cabin g christiaan. Twenty cent for gordon were middle name, gordon mess you anything else
I cast occasionally awesome with Nicky's.
On all things going on
It's called please listen to my ipod cast non due on better go, listen rate, review rate,
Yeah we just our last episode was tripoli talking about his album off on them. Before that we had an art episode. I go through the artists, I think, are ripped off too much. Really nice yeah who's number one of all time recall the most warhol
oh yeah, but you lazy, fuckers is taken a screen print of marilyn monroe or a famous person and met fuckin with the colored.
and are in Emily's right now. It is easy to rebuff he's ripped off a ton philip world
You want wanted by the way you're to get dove davidoff mad tellin me live anywhere are really goes into. A
a tasmanian devil. He really
He hates warhol, so voraciously. He can't take it. Why? I don't know it was a really fuckin, fascinating vivacity.
he gets so mad. Oh, I mean I'll, be standing at economy store and out of nowhere, but like I'll have not spoken whom it I'm not
no he's their public and another thing
we're holland. Why he's a fucking piece of shit and we go ahead because he's stewing all day about warble
yeah, possibly ripped off a to do.
I proceed at this moment- the environment actually so much. This is about the fucking blast. Thank you.
Goes you gotta do is talk. Ass was good rate review last sunday night, and I mean.
This absolutely is brought to you by the machine.
Transcript generated on 2023-07-24.