If you're thinking about swapping your morning routine for a road trip today, remember booking is half the fun on booking dot. Com find amazing travel destinations, just a few clicks away like a high rise hotel in new york city vacation at unforgettable properties. When you book your family trip on booking dot com and discover tons of places to stay from hotels and b and b's to cabins and vacation rentals click here to find your perfect day booking dot com, booking dot, yeah. So hey guys at work like as for a small favor. If you plan on buying my book life of the party, but please pre order it at purple duck on the pre order. Sales are literally the germany background are weldable the opening week and the opening week determines how well the book of overall writing. This book is one of the proudest

in my entire life- and I want to share with as many people as I can you preordering. It makes that possible. So do me a solid pull out your credit card and go to burp or bert dot, com and preorder life of the party. Thank you so much. You know. I love you. Today's guest comedian, writer tv producer and host of the podcast, the mick betancourt, show easily one of the most interesting people I've ever met. Nick Betancourt is his name, before concluding. I would like to refer back to spot in court. People usually said just a rather than anywhere it, sir order. When I said. Oh, yes, sir, better than anything I own did you think when you are can region down in florida that he would have two kids in this.

Verbs man and with the flag in orange tree, I thought the ordinary definitely have a really harry. I was opposed to the ordinary, where you, as I was like all, definitely have oranges and my life only because I fucking hate oranges and I hate oranges, idle limitation, Amy, don't remember the Al Qaeda cell look good it works. Is I have no enamel on my teeth so anytime, I ever ate oranges as a kid all. My teeth are fake. All the tedious, your fake, like twenty six fake teeth if the rail and thirty seconds yeah I twenty six big data hidden among them, I love and partly with a baseball bat swear to god. My daughter lost her to front teeth the other last weekend. Some girl fuck. It threw down cracked her time teeth, money wisely. Yeah, I know, but it was it was. It was kid shit like I mean I I could lose my shit about it, but it was kid shit, so My second question is parents out here what

the weird bizarro fuckin rules that exist out here that don't I'm from Chicago I'll give you click. Example someone through a little bowling stage. It was precarious right. and it was just weird he was a little amped up. He just was he didn't know what to do with the surge, you know when that series comes near a little you like, I gotta fucking, one you like so he lives deal with that and you're just happy to be people and I'm not co, sign any shit it just he would fucking. That was what he did, but I knew we were going back to chicago. And everything out here is just like people can scream you in their car, but if you had em they're like we would it be like uranium, you? I don't fucking understand what world you live, and so my son's like mike listening, and this is not how the world operates as a year and a weird bubble is like a ground post mask the red death out here every once in a castle, pretending the plague doesn't exist. I go we're going to chicago and I took a news

chuck e cheese in little poland, because I knew those kids don't fuck around fucking little poland. So we go there. I just imagine a bunch of kids in tracksuits, oh yeah, the dress pants with like white peters on so they're all a little caesar land, which is like a chuck e cheese here, and I just watch him shellac in this, keep pushing him and Then there's like a nine year old kid. He comes out because mr you're you're sorry which my brother than I it'll go handle it, so he just comes up to my son and just punches him twice in the face in myself like that, so he goes that kidding me be here. I go what happened? He was immediately. I goble what happened before he hit you can I go with that? Kids, his brother? So what is that teach when he goes look for a brother like a totally most missing it out are you a weird you away? sitting No, we ran into george was gettin bullied. His back was back while now

does she was getting bullied by two girls who had two dad's each and they were making fun of her because her family wasn't normal. How dare you like You got a mom and dad. Oh, my god. We got two days you're, weird, would, you have a mom and dad clearly their parents were compensating overcompensating for their fears, of what kids would say about them having to that school. Because of, They grew up and what did in turned on his taught their daughter, their daughters had a bully anyone who is different than them yet, and I wanted I mean I come from school of- and I told her this at another later point find what different about that kid market pointed out showed to the other kids. Make its cure of it? That's how we grew up so am I wanna say you want to say all the things in your head there, that you ve, that you back

we been taught to say the opposite of yea. If you were, I I've worked very hard in my life. I don't grow up open minded. I grew up in florida, fucking horrific. I remember. I remember a fight with a black and white kid. I remember the chant I was the first great. I remember that the black kids know my football and these two rednecks fuckin. Well, that was the call yeah. Have to call to be and we're not going to sing it. But if you don't know the call, then you don't know the god. I know the weird thing is men, I'm irish and puerto rican month, yeah this puerto rican, my mother's irish. My parents were sixteen and seventeen. When I was born, my dad died when he was twenty two, so my I've got costing me right away and I grew up in a black house like it was there were three its tyrone dude in baby and it was by the way, if you not listened it's. This is how I apologize. cases make better court mic is. I got an email of so few and you're like

in the realm of comics, who are good at comedy. the better storytellers one figure out that muscle of how to get our stories straight to stage and we don't have to do any fuckin stand up and it's just story like a hard core lit candle, mark twain, parking, storytelling you're at the last year and the short less there's a shortlist of comics that people go best, retailer arrived and I've been most of it is, is, I think, a lot of times the average MC has lived very kind of yeah, sheltered life and then, when you get guys that have lived out of the box, myself you Joe ideas. Are we a brand tobler like just guys who have that interesting life experiences? I think it and we're comics, and we know how to tell her stories yeah. So they told me they're, like you, gotta, listen to his fuck, the crab feast hers, crab feast, yeah yeah, accio man

they hit it. They got there really sweet spot cause. Not very strong comics of love overnight, a of buttons. The jailer sent Carson is one of the jailers and is one of my favorite guys to watch his succeed. Here is one of the fate because it was even we're fun to watch fail when he was floundering and failing. He was in his head, but to watch succeed all it's so much fun. I can't even really imagine knowing him. You know him better, but fuck. How have I known him, maybe six years, how frustrating that must have been the the the deaths sets that are required to build as it has won my sight met. I did a flat brussels only like ten minutes, but I'm doing this thing that you're talking about, I loved your marin podcast by the you guys got into it a little bit about you know. Well what is stand up now and has it evolved? There was a great great fucking episode regardless of that, but I never listened to it. I never listened to it cause. I was so self

adjust it. You know what I don't listen to a ton of mine either. I I I take that back. I listen to all my fucking podcast. Do you really but mara? And I didn't listen to mariner rogan, because I'm so soft just when I'm with Joe, I feel like I really genuinely feel like I'm just stupid, porthos fuckin, like literally like rightness bikes to school, these kids that come on catch up for time about the in reverse. It's going to be easy. There is a milky way. There is also a solar system. It's going to be fine, you're, going to figure it out. So I don't listen to! I don't listen to the ones which I do Joe or the ones I do with marron, but any of the other ones. Like I literally go back and listen, I listen to them. I enjoy them. Actually I enjoy hearing myself talk, that's why this podcast is so uninteresting, because all I fucking do is talk, but but yeah you're in that group, and so I go back, elicited a crab feast and I'm lay in bed and, unlike any others,

There is a high standard market that you have is a comic when you're like I want a fan goes greatest podcast. Every of another progress you like, I bet leave it, but I want to hear it and man aus ice when what was it that I think the part that was that you taken a sip of milk and your mom, who knew oh yeah, are with us. After my dad died. I want to thank Dave, gold by the way, your fan and gather, listen to my pike s, it email, you yeah, and you know, cause I had to catch up on. Yours is well. I wanted to really get in and with new a wide spectrum of gas it you have, I think, that's the benchmark of words Our view is that of how they deal with different per analyses- and you know you said, like Joe super smart, you get a guy. You know that you and even tied down and get three straight words out of cause their work and fuckin wacky land. You know it's crazy There's a pike s, man what they do and how invested they are in the show, which means you can't bullshit em, you can't you can't beat weird thing, when you and I started, and you and I did shows it had to be men

five years ago or level you sure it was before you hit anything it was long fuckin time ago, when drew, carry, was doing the thursday night at the improv member. That was the night. Oh yeah. I remember that totally party in the bar and attitudes like weird that was that was raised. That was the greatest time and my stand up because it the sold out shows. It was I was young, so I was hungry like bent still hanging around back then not that I don't know. I was still boards and was still every perched up at the bar and if you city clerk. Was there every single fucking night and there would be like hey. You want to do a set in the room like that they were poured down the hallway I mean you couldn't even get into the room and you're like what town that was a crazy That really was due care. Was the nicest fuckin guy kind of a night in every state that strip member who would pull up in the primary I've ever had a heart attack like right around the time and I to see in order tat, I think, by last wednesday started we lost and I'm very sorry that we lost at sea and walking up a model and all the time.

and like a big safari hot, and, I think is a crazy man come in here, like it still blows me way. Like albion set, and I'm like how the fuck did this happen, like I really wanted it I did a lot of work, but, like you always coming here that this thing existed and like everyone, new the rules and that shit just happened in and you might get a crumb but in and take the car and in an and season the shit out of the room and make its what what? What other working that chrome for fuckin five years. That's like her. What can I tell you that I feel like I feel like this is going to sound, but this is my own self diagnosis of I don't know, I'm not a big fan, I'm I'm very critical of me. I am very critical mia two ways one I'm so critical that the other day stage and I go- I was kind of a weak set and then I'm like and then I'm lake I go that that's. Why I put myself in the back. You that's than nod to a good comic. Is when you critical, I go good come

is critical and then fixes it up just critical and go up one didn't work. I do and I get more leeway tomorrow, but I've upsurge of critical that I even when I do get small bit of success sitting on it and going well yeah. But I locked into this or like, like I didn't at the way. The other guys did like, like even you know, I don't like I'm I'm However, I can never just sit back and go in alike here like gonna. Have that brain. Did you see that, Things floating around on twitter shit like the last days like the worst thing that you can say is like I've arrived or like. Finally, it's you know that we that place of being that weird, but certainly said that you really exist.

Europe is a mere this morning. That's it you're morning affirmation my buddy, my by buddy eddie used to have a joke where, where he would use, he would this. Guy was the funniest fuckin guy. That will never do stand up that you'll, never and by the way nowadays is took soap. Legally incorrect when you hang out with them the things he says, but back twelve years ago. It was fine fifteen years ago us run of the mill he would you know what he would do. He would always type in the address to where he was in the- navigation system in his car and when ever you'd get in car he'd go. You know I want to tell you some super import, about your career and they had an hour ago. You I have arrived and I answered. I became our joke two we should offer when you hit that are you? Did he weighty were super high of yours,

super high and you get that job o Brien might explode. Eddie was one of the four years that and he would be like his other thing was. He would always get off the phone at a bar and put it down. And yes, I got the part and people would fucking cheer and I'm shot. I got apart and then, if we ever, someone they didn't look like they're having a gale, someone didn't get the part like here that was his so he, oh, my god. He was A- is a really interesting I wrote a chapter about him in my book here: mockingly kidnapped. girls. One time, yeah he's an interesting fucking guy. So what was I saying? People down on that I bought it. I said it was. It was all in fun but in college and you could kidnap people. People didn't know they could press charges and send you to jail irish fraternity that I didn't want to I'm not a fraternity. Guy was like it was like the animal house fraternity and there were fourteen people, their russia, fraternity. Thirteen people got kicked out of the university out of my pledged class, the fourteenth

we have, but he was a super rich guy, those like dial, then and through serious money to keep his kitten and then three people died. within the next three years of thirty essay. Hello, you know you seem like you would have been a great asset to have any guy who had any real set of life experiences walk into this fraternity system and was like oh this is dialed in to make fuckin money like those guys whether they're all gonna be like. I can deal we do these guys we're there's no other with no greek row or whatever I got. Some campuses have housing that specifically designated for that like this was just that this we shall chairs apartment hisself you I had a genome tat it up for you. Ended up. Yeah, zip and I had a chopper. This is proposed jaspers- were likewise psych american We had not arrived yet scientists things like We saw the mai exhaustion

and half because I'm not a mechanical guy and I'm like this will make a louder. It's like I just horrible, some on the beach, and I think I was like going to tourists schools right so, for I got a full right to university chicago like honour on erotic. so they sent me down there and I, like you, gonna, go! you're gonna visit a campus you're, not only with writing thing, riding scout gonna riding teaching, so I was he's writing. So the writing. I mean scholarship and then the deal was that I could study writing an teaching, and then I teach riding and for every year I taught riding in an impasse. First neighborhood they would pay repay you're, my school that will so super cool way. How did you? how'd you get into writing! Listen to this man. I was first off when I was so my dear I gotta get commodity yet all right. We're talking about racism earlier, so my mom, you need to give like for anyone in this pocket.

has never heard you need to give a little bit of a backstory only because I want you to tell everything cares. I want you to tell your mother your you dad. I'll fill it in and you tell me well I'll. Tell you what I'd like to hear only for the people that know so your mom and dad marry when they're, very young you're, very hot for hot teen fucking in the back of a car baby arrives, know what kind of car it was yeah. It was a It was a buick, you remember the big one and it wasn't arrive, but it had that big bubble back window. I have in the front end that was like forty feet. Long, the up red, dark red he needed by one of those cars and I was conceived a bug were so they hear they don't get married. They split up. Your mom goes back with a family which is irish, irish and your dad takes off with his family lives with his mom and I live in er called humble park, which is a puerto rican ghetto. The blacks and puerto ricans do not get along and we live with a black family.

and you do don't even look remotely puerto rican. I look pretty white, pretty quiet like an understatement, banquets my last name raincoats, like smith and border ego. Father spoke no english and the action and he lived upstairs and he now this is the we're parts a week, my grandmother, let em. I really know my grandfather live His address is actually my dad's death certificate, but he would just show up I sit in the living room and like sip oil, Kansas, schlitz and I'd like to talk to him and he just be like hey, hey and I'm like okay and, like my grandma, didn't speak puerto rican sure they had three kids. it's and they couldn't talk to each other puerto rican, cockburn yeah. That sounds like a that sounds like the closing arguments of the defence case. That's a powerful rican god you're at where's my case, that was it so like these are weird man was off.

Where'd, you dad died, the young age there is, I think there was harrowed involved with your suit. Is this directive yeah and then your dad just died? Did you that overdose or how he got electrocuted on the third rail on the subway. He was in the morgue for three days before anyone, even when I say ghetto man, I don't mean like look at the mrs called video. You know, let's watch yeah one hundred sixth and park, I mean I'm talking hood shit like fuckin knives pulled because who's going to drink the last of the pickle juice like hardcore shit, cause I couldn't speak porter egon cause out there, because I look so why does the choice made like that? Do not because, like you said fifty years ago you know, I'm thirty and before the in April, like it was not Chicago still is not a very poor. Racially sensitive town shows Listen, I don't give him an accent. Just let him I can be white and get on with his life and

I hung out with the packet, so I was like Steve Martin in the jerk, like I'm like what I'm not black like I was fucking show I tell what the fuck like. I talk like a little black kid, because I hung out with tyrone, dude and baby. That was my guru, that's right and then, when you're dead past, you get moved to your mom's yeah. Your introduction. Your mom? Is this is this. By the way we love my look comes we're uncle do I keep your uncle staves your life? He does in more ways than one and it so tragic man, because I love this guy, but the whole Irish side of the family is so fucking like that irish that we all know that is so boisterous and over the top it just like it's yours, you're you're, held hostage by you're like digital past people. Oh my god will these and they like, where they hitting me where's my wallet guys got is digging reference mouth at this oral party, acquitted how it is you like they were like a roving bet, banned a fox lunatics man like me, ultimately got arrested for robbing a bank. My grandfather,

seven years of fitting your sentence: firm robbery, my other uncle got murdered on. austin in the eyes and our my other uncle just one that saved my life man, his brain, just started to eat itself from the inside out like yours, it's crazy, watching people just fuckin go down man. insane so he comes to the porter, weaken neighbourhood. Yes, then and says that he's no tells me don't go to bed. He said we're at the wedding, but he had the wake the funeral. So like don't go to bed man I'm coming to get you did what you do. When you hear me knock. You just come to the door, some like! Ok, so it just before sunrise, and he came and he's let's go so we started to walk out in my dad's good sister, who was going to school, she's gonna, nursing school. She had her shit together, just trying to get out she's like up never see him again. Our ears, like nope, That was the last that I was in that house. I haven't seen any of those people we get in the car. I'm like why I'm not gonna want you're, not bringing me back.

Told me. I need to more stuff I'd, always like clear, brakemen, my toys, everything and I was six so he's- were driving and hysterical and he's like. You know, there's going to be a Y m c a here. That's kid! You could play basketball, there's a pool! There's a wreck. It's great man! This neighborhood called berwyn you're, going to I bet your mom's there and I'm like would she lie cause? I don't have any memory of her. You know he's like oh she's, great she's, mom's more about it's gonna be awesome, so we put The sun just started clever. My car, you know like a new tax The signs are there. Do, although the humming bird flew up to you and said but the one they majority it about how did I walk in and was a two fled man I on the first floor, and it was this weird big men were my uncle opened the door and there's a woman she's like for foot nothin red hair are covered freckles and she's. Looking I was like all of a sudden emerges. It was like the music,

when they play when vader combat. And burn ban and we're just this weird thing and I'm like oh and I was hungry, I didn't eat breakfast, so I just pop fridge open and I pull a quarter milk out and I just pop it open, no glass, just If chugging it it was sour and curdled, and oh, my god, I just spit it on the floor and by the time I look up she cocked her fist packages. Fucking dropped me straight right right on the button I hit. I just fall right on my I dropped the milk, the milk born everywhere. I look at my uncle is like good luck. The word that's so it's so crazy to, especially when you have again now to think of my child put not situation. That's all. I thought The whole time as I was like I was like that's ila like how would I le bounce back she'd, never bounce back. You know it's weird man when I it my sons sixth birthday. I was singing of happy birthday. Had the cake it had. The little lit candle said six on it and I,

putting it down in front of him, and I saw as you know, in my memories. Now I'm this big remain like for whatever you know when I recall all that shit. So when someone's trying to hit me I'm the size, The stories always much different than it was back then, can I get to reach. You know my mind trust, but it's weird what I felt my brain literally click and then it was like a pen got pull out of my throat. I had to excuse me self and go in the other room. I started shaking inside We should look at how little I could have been that little there's no way was that little he's a tiny kid. That's not what six looks like you know. I'd seen, insurance they wanted, my house it wasn't like I was studying, You know as all of a sudden it was it was in was where I lived there and I was outside of me. You know I mean so for like six months. Man I'm like I would get these waves of like intense recall, unlike emotions society go, see, shrank and am I came in listen. Let me preface with I think, you're full of shit

and everything you're going to tell me is horse shit. It's like oh! This is good. It was just really tough for me to go because I had lived through all this. Yes. I thought my survivors skills were on point. It's like you got ptsd man, and am I call on my cousin- is special forces he's on his fifth tour in afghanistan. And right now, if anyone's getting fucking psd, yeah yeah, I go, you mean Tell me my cousins. Like my brother, I got. I gotta tell him. I'm the one with ptsd easily that he should wish. I should be visiting you in prison right now, from what you just told me. So it's very surreal man to look back overall, the shit, and I only share that because, like on my pike ass, you ve heard it like. I think things that make great comedy There has to be some dramatic stakes in that real ones. You know what I mean or or not, tragedies that have a fucking too dramatic word, but you know what I mean like. I want some one like when I first heard pryor and he started talking about will overdosing and

pain, and then he made it funny whoop even before that the honeymooners when they were just broke and they had no money. They thought they were going to get evicted and he's like I'm telling you and he's screaming and laughing I'm like. Why am I laughing because my mom screams also screams and everyone screams, but no one laughs or you can make that funny like that, blew the fucking doors off. For me, man, I'm like wow that can cause fatty falls down. That's funny to me, I get it. I, like the three is super funny. All the looney tunes shit. Big physical I don't wanna know what to say. I don't wanna say that milosevic europe mccarthy as fatty falls down, but then that woman has my father barton, everything she does this fucking funny, and I do not know if it would be as funny if she was a perfect and model at the flaw in her I connect with whose of mobility. There too. I can make their vulnerability and I love everything she does, and I mean hopefully melissa mccarthy's well at a point where it anything like that she understands on talking about, but I'm sure she has

yeah, but you are right, but I didn't know you and I are big eyes right and we re bigger. You look like you, ve cut right now I've got down to, but when I was the biggest that I did you know I play the hand, I'm doubt, and I was huge big physical comic broad. You know four thirty falls down cause. That's that was my tool. Skinny guy falls down because I was a fat mother fucker. So when I down. It was even funnier like when I was doing second city back in chicago and just shoot and shorts. It's like yeah. Let's find do this man is it's funny yeah, it's fucking fun. I find my favorite. stuff, though his vulnerability yeah, like I love, I love and and and it's interesting it's interesting from a storytelling perspective. I have no, I have no real. I have no real attachment

to the to the story line of a story I haven't attachment to the reveal a story so like I have a great story about that. I've told before about meaning, whitney houston but the reveal is at the end and the whole lead in she's just a blank cheque. But if my wife tells a story, she right off. The bat is like You tell us. Did you hear the story about meeting whitney Houston? and so she tips that wage way. I'm I'm I'm obsessed with the ins and outs of storytelling and and how they applied alike entertainment an end, and I would love to take it to the next level, Do a storyteller eastward really great stories. I remember steep arena was, as writer that wrote work roque for like us or something when we were kids road for like the village voice. I dont know what it was, but I remember him tell him gary stories about living in philadelphia and we were in high school. We were the age where we were all go, sneak out at night to smoke pot and we would not

smoke pot to sit and listen until story, and he was I mean he had the greatest he'd make create a character. Character got real? Yes and it was like, and it's like. I looked back at that on my car, that's fuckin But nobody. How did you get into writing so so you move with your mom, your your you're, that's when your grandfather lives upstairs yeah yeah. Dad riah and after a while, I can't live with my mom cause, she's just she's Our colleague so like she would take me out drinking with her so idea. You know before them morning and I'm ordering manhattans for her and me and I'm driving home, in your role and into school the next day at school, when I was crazy, so I just moved upstairs with my grandpa then he died, and so no one claim me in this apartment. I just stated this apart and by myself, and I got a job at a restaurant, so I could eat and I rolled myself in high school and then so for about a year and a half inches lived on my own and do this time and I'd always read great books and was always writing partially.

my uncle. My uncle was a very like a studious guy. He would be like you gotta red mark twain. You got a red hemingway. You gotta read united, mean like you, gotta read catch twenty two, so really like a large part of my speech, ass is from his influence of exposing meet all that stuff and just like you, men look making people laugh. I was that god man, you know I was a class clown and I love love, love making people out. But I didn't understand what a comedian was at that point. In my life you know I didn't understand either do you copy do that that that was a thing it was just so beyond my scope, unlike must eat. you know what I could do is go to the library and take out a book and have a spiral notebook next year and I would literally right out the first sentence of say the great gatsby, and I would I headed out and I'd almost want to say. I know that sentence because that sentence to find me of something about at the year at the age of thirty I had to decide is they're, not stop lying to myself, yeah cause I at a thirty. I was like great gatsby. Is my life

now the area this is where I need to go. What am I gonna? Do not care in the middle of it all maria, but it was. It was a profound day from because I'm looking at, unlike ok so far, to be in taxi driver even star wars rikers. I love star wars and I'm like I can't do that. Like I can't be luke sky, walker, but I literally just wrote the first sentence of an f scott fitzgerald novel. Like I just wrote, I did the exact same thing. He did now really fascinated. You know some like look at that like an you, can't take it away from it, because when I sam poor man, I'm I'm saying is thirteen. I would stand in the corner beg for money like it wasn't like who I'm I'm a fish fan, and I just want to see what it's like live off the land, but I can always like now have no and food. May you don't owe me like that. Was it so I found a little watercolor set and I'd paint in the numbers and I'd go find out where old ladies hung out like by the tasty, freeze and shit, and I try to sell to

for a dollar like I was on a grind to eat like brass tacks, fundamental shit, and unlike look at this like you, whatever it is, you can take this away from me like it can have nothing and you could give me a pen and a piece of paper and I can go and I can write mars is cold today and now I'm on mars, or I could be like it's crazy at the white house right now and now I'm in the capital like whatever I want to do on this piece of paper. I can do. And there's nothing to. Stop me worse. If you- and I were to do a play. We need actors to stage script. If we're going to improvise, we need more than one of us stand up, didn't even know about that yet, but I did know if I put pen to paper, I can go anywhere that I want and have like you said these characters do whatever the fuck they wanted. It's a gloomy away. It should be beware the power of that you know about it. Yet I just realized somebody get a text for my editor in even is going to be like hey. Can you hook me up with mic next time he's in new york

right now he needs going. I know I know right. Congrats man, I'm doing that cause a lot of people talk about writing a book. Ninety nine point: nine per it's the same thing with people who are like I'm gonna, move to l a economic lose weight sailing the ask: how do man and you have to let it be fucking horrible, because it's easier to make something horrible better than nothing better. These books are the and I imagine I want to get back to you, but these the book I did was all about mind. Stories and my stories as outrage, just as they may sound and is as as as of fictional eyes, as they may seem that they are, they are based one hundred percent on truth, do you know what for small detail. It I use for a laugh is inconsequential ya, however, these are true stories to me in the writing of a true story, it's kind of it's not pressing but you're living a little bit the past yeah. So

When you write a script or when you write fiction. There is this, like fantasy world, that you're talking about that you do live in where you're like. I am out of this little existence. Yeah. I am into my next one of my next book. I was just talking to my editor about his as a little hard to explain on twenty two after the podcast, but it's beautiful because it's it's a little bit of both of them make sense and I get to disappear gap and writing in the in the in the it's. It's beautiful, but reading a book or watching rachel. I came a thrones or black sales of several black sales right now, but robert led us, Robert louis stevenson, yeah wrote The treasure island treasure items of great fuckin book when your kid, and now this is the prequel on fucking in it you fantasy really without over them,

and you did it now. You now have written a book. So every time you read a book you're like all look at how they slid into the backstory that makes reading a book for a totally different. You are like I started out. I can't really get too much into it, but I just reading a book that I was like that. That's what I want to do. I understand. I was lying with a look I tell you I'll tell you cause if I tell you you'll know what I'm doing, okay, so for the next one, you send the next one. What inspired the book that inspired your book? The book was such a fuckin eye, I'll tell you all after this I'll, but it's it's now many I got here when I started reading one it's interesting, how they did that and then I was like you know what I'm going to put this down, because, however, I do it, how I do it- and I should just let my voice be my voice, don't ever try to copy someone's we especially in writing so insecure. So you see you you. A party house at your mom's how's, yeah, you're everyone's gone. It's just you well.

Mademoiselle for a while she was day this guy. That used to beat her and put cigarettes out on a sou piece of shit. Got here's too funny story. So now, how do I get to a funny story from that cause? If you're listening you like what father it is this I thought. That's, what's beautiful about a story? Is your heart you like ok, I mean I could hear all that shit happening downstairs now. At the same time, now I'm not a tough guy, I'm not, but I'm very good at making people believe that I'm tough and I had to do that very it was just a survival mechanism same with funny, so I'm just starting to wrestle at the time It's gone doing very well at it in this, and I'm here in the glass break, I'm here in the screams and I'm I'm at a crossroads. Like call nine one on this mother fucker twenty times nothing happens Why is this the part of my life where I go down there and I handle this so I'm like? Yes, it is so I go down there and he's like what the fuck are you going to do. I just knock them out and I just throw heat on his face for like fuckin just right. I mean fucking, repeatedly tommy gun style on it. Just like black sails in the pilot episode, the couple grasp the hair and I pulled

this piece of shit out this is like earlier in the days like if you want to know real shit you'll get into some ing the Malmsteen and I'm like the fuckin guitar guy. It's like that's real shit, then like okay, like clear, like I'm like this What we can do about it like a really involves, then this is the viking the same conversation right yeah. This is the missing piece to the family. It's going to bring it out. Good job mom have some more vodka everything's working out great, so fuck it. I bet it sounds great you in the morning, but then we have the new disguise international rights seriously. Hoppa forty hours a week Iv'e mom said, although paycheck it a try that out eating phenomenal. I love when I have breakfast it's amazing. The type of responsibility said so I so I you know I hand this piece of shit off, so I want to jump cut a little bit too

the other day. I was telling you, I don't even know if we're recording it on my dog, my neighbors fucking pit bull killed my dog right, yeah yeah, my kids are fuckin heartbroken right summer on a treadmill If china lose a couple extra pounds, but I'm also trying to burn off that depression or this dog died right. It was the first family dog and everything. So I started thinking about this guy this mother fucker that used to do this shit to my mom. Now my mom wasn't a savior wasn't like she was betty Crocker with the fuckin apron on some italian animal came in and was punching betty crocker in the face. You know my mom knew how to push invade buttons yeah. I think Would it be great cause I'm going back to chicago. I know it. Name, I know the neighbour lives and if I just go to his house- and I just fuckin tune him up like I just now around the door. I drag them out. I just fuckin chill atm for a little bit like I'm right up to the point where it's like. I might die what great joy with that. Bring- and it would really make this whole dog thing just disappear would really

It really spackle up some of the emotional vacancies that I have that right yeah, but this is just my brain fucking with me yeah. No, no! No! No! No! I can't do this anymore. I can I'm not. I never really was that guy, but I hung out with guys like that. That's a whole nother thing where, like I thought well, I'm I'm hitting the street. So if I'm going hit the street then I'm not going to be a fucking soldier or a low bar. You know, like a middle guy worms going to get picked off like if that's the case, and I was going to be on the street, so I started in this crew- and I moved up really quickly like in two and a half months about two hundred guys on how to fifty two top shorter guys, the top then artificially than a hundred let this latin king and we were broken some shit on our side, two blocks away. From this meeting- were supposed to have a good tipped off they're going to kill me that was my that I got tipp to they hit. The road in the domain of the dumb at rock stars like that fuck. This is not the life for me, I'm going to go back, so I stepped I'm just giving the idea that lighter Not that guy you know domain by Simon those waters. I knew the cycle paths. I knew the real, tough guys as close to him. They were my

Friends if you're gonna be friends of those guys- and I realized- there's not- who I am So all of this information is playing while I'm on the treadmill right, like I'm, not the guy. I I played that role a little bit. I didn't like how it made me feel I wasn't good. I want to be a good guy got kids now I want to lead a good wholesome life, but wouldn't it be fun to punch a guy in the face he would make We feel amazing, I'm sober now, so I call my sponsor I go. This is what I'm thinking I can't find like that prey on. I do the thing all right so who fucking great right so I go to Chicago I go to black scam with a friend of mine, whose cop six foot for animal fuckin six times who were heavyweight champion boxing. for the really were set and I'm telling them the whole thing. This guy peed in fucking cigarettes thing on the whole thing just like. I just told you and I'm like I'm just happy, I'm not going to do it he's like. What the fuck you Tommy's whole story, we're not because I got a gorilla

Asking an old man masking the trunk of my fucking car right now eagles were going, I'm calling it in we're going to fucking go get this guy and I'm like you're a cop mother, fucker you're supposed to be like gorilla mask and an old man mascot the troublemaker for just the case too yeah he's like I'm like you're, not supposed to you're supposed to get attaboy you're not supposed to be like. I got clubs in the trunk yeah, let's go to p, go so for the whole next week, he's taken pictures of homicide scenes that he's had texted me going: hey just found peace. I don't want it. It's so weird may, when you go back It's like those are there's no like how we started the conversation. It's that thing in the town words like listen, I

gotta go somewhere we're going to go, do something we can't talk about it now. We can never talk about it again. The guest like who's driving, like I, was just telling a friend of mine. That was a cop like man, I'm just so excited I'm doing the right thing here, he's like well tasers, balls, yeah it'll, be amazing, like no beat him with a phonebook man. They can never see the bruises, like it's all eternal. What I want to do. Man I'd, take my kid for ice cream tomorrow. I can't, if I can, blood on my knuckles with value crazy, wanting to get sober twelve years ago, almost twelve years ago April, be twelve years blind around when you- and I were- I swear to god. I remember I don't remember what the material is, but I clearly remember watching you do a set at the hollywood improv, it's crazy. So we will you just boozer reported with other stuff. It was more yeah. I mean gin and here's what here's? What I do. I get a pint glass of bombay the fire and tonic with two limes. It had to be in a pint glass and a shot of tequila, so I would drink. I would guzzle half the pint glass do the shadow

Gila and then guzzle the other half and then smoke a cigarette. And while I was smoking, the cigarette I'd order. Another round- and I was smoking like three packs in mar. Already the holy shit so stricken about a bottle of bombay and a bottle of tequila day and then cocaine a little bit words the end, but I never really like cocaine. I was scared me cause. I saw it. Immediately get the worst out of people and also like I never fully caught jones, but it was it started. circling me to wear like one. I would drank it be like you should fucking get cocaine Now in the shit I saw people do for what would be. A thirty dollar back is just is just to extend your night by three hours. That's all told us doing so When you I would drink, usually for two or three days, those really asia. Like there was. I wish I was. I wasn't like get drunk and then go to bed. Like you know, like your stories like my shit, was I'd always felt like first off I'm never going to live to. Third, that's just a

I can give him because my dad died when he was twenty two every know every adult I saw was miserable You know just around me that was just a fax on like have been adults back and miserable. Would then I'm never going to become an adult and I'm in a ride. This shit, like reading books like on the road and other be poets mike, I'm gonna on the ship till the wheels come off and then I said I'll check out at thirty and who gives a fuck. This is pre. Kids, pre, really understanding what the fuck is going on. God, if I had a nickel for every time in my life, I just pulled it all nighter and drank into the next day, and I just know that I took a couple months off my ticker that night, we just like parties in soho you're like this, is what life's about and now I'm sitting on the trampoline with my girls as they jump around me going home. Getting chest pains, I know. Well, it's so funny man, you can't really the whole point of my podcast is to we'll get honest talk like this, without a cute about it or self serving. She has, particularly for young people and old people, man to be like. Look it's never too late to just start,

when the right thing and by the right thing, I'm not telling you what's right or wrong kurdistan. I didn't know the joy of watching kids jump on a trampoline. I denied myself that, because I was a selfish break thinking. Oh I know, and so just open and myself up to white. What might be the right think as if I knew what the right thing was. I would just go. Oh, this is the right thing and I'll do it, but there was theirs and I'll put it in perspective. This way, Also the time we're doing the right thing, but still doing the wrong thing. Like I did know the joys of the kid could bring you just watch and apply in the back yard. But in that picture I have an open bottle of wine, I'm not shitting on booze I still drink but like I just this is going to sound so pathetic, but I just got to the place where I can go to bed. I myself now like I can lay down on a bed and fall asleep, and I don't need to pass out like that. That was a lie that, by the way that two weeks ago, three weeks ago, he just learned how to do that. I'm forty one years old and I just got to a place where I was like I'm just exhausted from having to open on the bottle, want to dinner and have a couple glasses.

One in order to be able to get myself begs crazy tone, sorry. I am, and I start fighting with people- and I start defending my self. Yet, no one to me, I start attacking myself. I have dreams that people are asking me, but it's just me attacking me so there's but yeah like I I you know being silverman, was a real if I had to do it for pure functionality like I was going to die and I've been with the same woman now for twenty years, maybe twenty one! So like you know, for the first nine that I was drunk but and sober time. So you know I owe it to her I say that, as I got these fundamental like living tools that I never got in the house that I grew up Man is funny that you say like you, have all these conversations like my first, fancy, said, never have a conversation with someone who is now the room fuck. I wish I could do it and I and I thought all hot

I do that you didn't go. I may cause I'm like that's wonderful whenever I'm amounted those all last night, yet all as you just gotta get into the habit and the practice of realising what's happening, and then just stopping that conversation. How do you ve been here? I call for the time when you do roman that person and you need to win the argument. I know exactly so all of these weird mental, but I had no. I was on this hamster wheel I had no idea how to get off of an hour, but about- and this is the real beauty of pot guessing, why loved so much like there was I'm guy, that's listening right now or woman. That was like. Probably had some shame or some anxiety are worried that they were not going to bed like you just talked about and you are just like, Is it came from your heart and it was in the moment you're like two weeks ago. Forty one. I just want to do this. That's cool thing about podcasting cause. There's no bullshit happened in between. when only right now so someone else's listening on fuck, I thought I was like the only one like I'm forty, and I can't do this in my fucking idiot now.

whose I was in this was. This is not my programme anymore, but it's that sounds horrific. Now that I said it's allow, but my plant, my plan was party on the road monday. Night parties have flew in a drink and I parted monday on the plane, and then a drink money not open a bottle of wine monday night at not never. Never. What I just Try to go to bed monday nights. I figured I'd drinks on the plane. I ended up a few drinks to wrap that around send me into tuesday tuesday. I take as annex at four o clock and then at four o clock. I would start fall asleep. Around eight and then I could get it and then here's the whole key to that. I wanted this annex to wear off by the next day. So then I was awake and present the next day, so would compromise actual awake time with my family so that I could be awake the next,

it's Wednesday, I'm leaving Wednesday night usually to go to the road. So I have cylindric wednesday night, and so it was like this weird and then I got home. I dunno. I got home from a trip and I just was like I need to. I need to really like deal with this. Just go to bed just lay in bed and go to bed and- and it was like I mean a fuckin career it, but I got to the place where last night, monday night, I came I drank on the plane monday. What right to bed monday night laden bad went to bed went to bed last night fall all night and I go to bed tonight. But but that's a big deal. No, One is learning how to go to sleep on the road. It's tough man, it's schubert. I can't imagine you know how I can do it by drip. Look. Grew like I'm, go with them cause it's the eleven people like you're a band so but when you play

yourself on the road I'm in syracuse this weekend, I'll fuck, any half man yeah, I mean I'll, be I'll, go somewhere to shoot. I was a binge drinker too, so I really relate to what you like. I wasn't drinking every day because then I think I'd be dead like cause. I knew guys who drank they tell me they drink, just like I did, but every day and I'm like how the fuck are you walking the earth. Man like I would drink up for three days and I just shut down for day. So I lose that all day go good. I finally recoup and then I come out and I go like four days right. We feel there is really good like for that was a weird patch of abnormal. Listen blood. That's never! So we hatless about writing gazettes, though the most fascinating part of the podcast you did with with, and I hate to be doing a podcast about upon us. I listen to the house her. It's that good. I don't know it absolutely, but it is one of the top rated crab feast pocket.

as it's like right up on top. I think I'm number two so, but but you got into stand up and then you got into like genuine writing for tv yeah. What happened was and you'll it's crazy makers. We came up at the exact same time with all the same moves and comedy so like we started one single camera, comedies hadn't even really come out. Yet all of this Comedies like I did montreal comedy festival, two thousand three with bread and John capital rolo like really some great cats, and we killed it and calmly, central and embassy. Late friday did all that shit when that was when I first moved here and like, but comedies we're like you suck? No, you suck lack track, and then you had like hold the take, so you had just like freezer face like what I wanted to do that I just couldn't. Do it like, I couldn't figure it out. You know I mean like it seems Commercials like they'd, be like you should go in for commercials. You've got a great face and various, so I go to commercials and they'd be like alright go ahead and action

dominoes is amazing yeah. It was so over the top. I remember doing a joke. I remember doing an audition that I was like there's no way I'll get this. I'm not right for this, and I just thought you know what I'm going to try something out, and I remember what was worse king. What was selling at the time was the skinny skinny neighbour, of brie brother, who were the waffle underneath and the teacher on top and he would just come and go. I don't even know man. He was so over the top energy that no one really behaved like that, and I remember going in and doing an operation like that she was like. Oh my god. That was amazing. That depart was like she's gonna spend a me to dial. Can you give it more energy and those like I'm like I'm fucking out of this, there is no actual acting there. They re always yeah connecting with another person, and then

family circuits. It was yes, it was, I guess, Andy funny. Some in the midst of this, and unlike at none of this, makes me feel good and I got a one year I mean more dirt pour out here on. Unlike what am I gonna like I'm trying to pull the game. I don't really understand it. I'm doing sets it night that are fuck. You know standing ovation hasta, you know and my reinventing the wheel. No, I was more performing than material. You know I mean like it was big, but it was all sizzle not a lot of steak. I just wasn't there yet as a comic, but I'm still having fun. You know yeah yeah. So then I go to do this other stuff and I'm like some of this commercial audition man and I'm like there to bring in five guys in at a time and I'm at the breaking point where I'm like notice make sense. None of this makes me feel good. I don't even if I get this,

I am am I going to be miserable as the money going to a race how fucking miserable? I am right now anyone listening understand the. What what and I I'll tell you what I what I connect with what you're saying is there is no attachment to the character you're portraying to these people like you're. Just doing it's like imagine. It is the equivalent of blackface it is you just feel dirty because you're doing these additions and your energy, so I know one behaves like that. It is you do your mom bought a dell. It is that character not to shit on that guy, and I would rather and was working the worst jobs ever to try to get something creatively satisfying. So I didn't want to work the worst jobs ever to then do this thing that you're talking about to be so not satisfied for money- and you know maybe was the right thing. Maybe wasn't. I don't know that how do I wasn't what I felt at that moment. So I mean this audition and they got it's the creative directly from the agency, the guy from

seers the casting director they bring in five guys in at a time they got a stool with a gold wrapped present on it and then the stool. It's got like a little boombox on it and at this point they were like the last re auditions. I had for commercials there, like you, write the ad. Whatever comes to you just, however, you and I'm like you're, not even going fuckin write the ad like come in and it makes it up. In a do. Everything like live, cereal, cereal or books loves your commercial and was like. Can you find a good ending for us yeah, I'm like so they're, making the speech and they're like here's the deal? This was three months before christmas, so getting ready to shoot the christmas spots so they're like Arik, you want can and you see the present now you're all tremendously counted comedians wants you to pick the box up. We're gonna play a little music. Do some physical comedy with it gets what it is, it has to be something from sears in it. Has to be something: that's amazing and brings true joy to your heart and then set the box down and throw tagged the camera. So the first guy goes, I'm number two and I'm like fuck.

Shoot me like and then there's this voice in my head right. We all have it this voice in my head goes burn this to the ground and I'm like it's a crazy voice in my head like I have a son at home, we can't even by similac formula and have it both my wife and I eat like this- would be an amazing opportunity. At least we could pay off all of our burn. so. The guy picks up the box and he's like honey. Is this key to saw the very thing I've been looking for. I love sierra. The guy hits play bird on the fucking boombox its but that the banner and it's the fucking benny hillside and so because, like these, like bible in the box and like I don't want to drop my saw, oh my god, so that we can throw up you set it down and he's like. I love seers, like that's like how cheeses tag wasn't. There was a really good and the other guys have to look at each other like fucking,

great actor, really good they're like high fiving him as he walks to the back of the line. So like I'd, make your next, so I go. Okay, I slate mick betancourt, really abbey for the apple. The gas here we go. Let's, let's do this so pick up the box link up with that and I and I hold up Can I look into the camera and I go hey Mandy, it's it's! It's mac! I'm just sending you this little video message! I've got this present here. It's a yogic figurine of a young couple holding hands and cost over the over the hands of the couple. As a two carat, pure diamond engagement ring from de beers that I bought you and was going to propose to you this christmas eve. Until I found out, you were fucking time who fail to fight back and I kicked the box and it goes flying over the cook. It s more like what are you doing? Some serious goes Sears product can make you sad so I go.

also, unlike the guys next to me, were like what the fuck just happened so you're. Alright, it was a little out of the box. It was a little big as we are. I I think, it's easier to bring it down, that it is to take it up. I said I just took it: sometimes you take it. risk. They don't pay off. Clearly, this is an example I go. Let me take it from the top guys. Now I feel like I understand where this needs to go, and I really feel like I'm gonna bring it home for sears right now: Jesus Christ, okay, fine one more take way down, and I'm like alright. Here we go pick the box, but that the fire and I go mad- you fucking, whore godlike toxic, keep work. I caught my commercially just like you go was between you and five guys for the national legal. You know what If you want, I think you're going to get a call today. Are you really going to get a call today by the phone? I don't know how it's going to go, though I had a.

commercial, where we had to eat Carl's junior six dollar burger in thirty seconds, those commercial. Toby all either like there's a stag burgers stack falkenberg like rather burger call back and go, and I was like fuckin seriously and I was like while the diet at the time- and I was like this- is not a great one- there's like twelve thousand calories of an audition, but I did it. I fucking killed it. I couldn't get it in thirty seconds like we can edit it together and speed it up. I was like no, I'm gonna fucking joke. You know I've done some of the worst fucking jobs on earth. It just felt so hypocritical to come all the way out here and then travel across the country in camp out. Did the whole cheesy lived in my car for a little bit. I sofa surfer six months before my wife came oxygen, no money to have spoken about here and, like it just felt fucking in turkey to do that. Man like make the thing that I was going after

You know tarnished like that, but to answer your question men, so I started going out as an actor fur dramas because I just couldn't get it. I guess it was. I double dutch had just couldn't find the timing for those half hour through three cameras, and so I started booking roles is injured, drama, dramatic tv pilots. I did a thing on csi miami, so I bought this brok hammer pilot and am I play one of the bad guys in it I saw talking to the guy who created the show and young cat out of san Francisco. Like listen man, what happened and my crocodile tubs man just fuckin characters like all the dramas like body, the weak, who gives a fuck, I don't give a shit like it's our eye. They were all like that weak and, unlike where's, the fucking guys. I want to spend time with man, the men and women that I show up with every week to go on this journey with and he's like em, and I get it so he's like what they pay me.

the money to do this and I'm doing it. So I'm like oh alright, the pilot they aired one and it was over and you've had these moments in your career, where I'm like. I gotta take some action here and I'm afraid- and I don't know if I'm going to come off. Looking like a fool here, but I reached out to him- and I said: listen man you're drama guy, I'm known mostly as a comic. The dramatic actor I want to get in a dramatic writing, but I don't really know how can I take you out to lunch? I'm not asking I'm not pitching you anything, but I would like I said here's. My version of this is a comedian. someone says: hey come see, my show you go see their show they bomb, but then, when they come up you after the shadow, was that the funniest shit ever and there is a real, honest, true disconnect from the quality of their work and their perception of the work done. That's my fear is to be super passionate about something that has no merit and has no value that I just become delusional about something

cause? I love it so much yeah, so I said, listen man can I just tell you this idea and then you as a drama writer who's gotten shows produced. You tell me if I should commit my time. An energy to pursuing that in going down the road, or am I completely delusional ogoni like don man will meet will will so we went to a man is unfair. Facts and I said our men. Here's the world, here's the characters is, I think the pilot would be and he's like do that's great, we'll go out with it I'll go out with that with you and I'm like out, even though that means he's like will pitcher together, because I don't want to go. Your idea, man, but I really feel like I can add some value- will write it together, we'll go pitch it. Some like dat. Incredible, yes, But now I go just to unite in bring you here to do that, but lay out you want do I'm in man, that's so exciting, so we go and we picture to the production company has deal with that. We take it to parents where the production company has to deal with and now we're gonna to go. Bs Cbs right, I've never pitched anything. I pitch comedies, but not

like I can't imagine, I would love to pitch of serious within picture in a comedy pitch. You are dependent on how it goes in the room. Yeah like going to serious, wanted just gotta, be if I play music, which is so like tragic and unfortunate for the common like to have to go in its it's like you. You can murder and a night club, and they want you to walk into a room with two people that haven't had their coffee and then murder them. It has now did you really hard and it and there's no way to put it in perspective? People listening but to go into a room were there are half the people are in there to support you and then half the people are in there supporting you, but they need you to prove move that the idea you have is good and funny an end. Oddly enough, CBS of the women run CBS or very are I've known for. Thirteen years I've been there forever. They are the backbone of CBS com. yeah they are fantastic, but there,

torreon. I've never had this with me with them, because I've I've always known them in a different way, but but their notoriously dry and they're, not the not big lafferty. So you go in and to have page, we earn your testing for a pilot. You have all the executive in a room and their doc looking there. Neither now They given giving you a lot- and you know if the mentality behind that, is to ice you to see how you deal with the pressure there to make sure you know like link, glengarry Glen, you can you can't this? What the fuck you can. I want to say intimately there really like the really like it's funny yeah. I think a lot of times they're, just like start making me laugh like I mean I don't blame them. It's really hard to meet. It's really hard to make me laugh I'd, be a great network. Exec I'd, be w, over on the fucking desk, pass by sure ass. They make it everything, so you go in and you pitch so well. First off at this point, about this cheesy hollywood storm and we're about a week from having to go home, my sons to all credit cards maxed out I'm a week from Heaven

the you move out here with your son already borne now he was borne out here. Ok, so it was my we're living in sherman oxygen which we all know is Van eyes. Its support magnolia, unlike this crazy fuck and bill, and so the morning of the pitch CBS, we had a ninety four cavalier that we shipped out from Chicago because it would have made the drive. We put it on a train, all rusty, mid west car, with one can hubcap, I go to start to go and it was it CBS picassos over the hill, no gas. So am I

in literally when I say no money, left no money left. So there was no credit cards, there was no cash, we were, it was over. It was over and I'm like how fuckin roof so close, and now it's over. So I say I think they sent a credit card, but I lost it and I'm like we gotta find so we tear this little one bedroom apart, we little file. Can we take all the folders out? It had slipped between two folders call. The eight hundred number on the back lays like we sent that out two years ago, I'm like total emergency. I need thirty dollars on this thing. She's, like you, got thirty dollars in that setting it's like twenty nine percent interest. On my argued shit. I need thirty dollars right now for gas in my car to go to a job interview. Just like are you got it puts it on, go to the shell station over burbank and Cipolla to fly over the hill. It's all the people from CBS you're talking about the people from paramount that people from scott free ridley and tony scott's production couple we sit in their means, convince adventure pitching the show and they like. Ok, thanks, though my god

so we're waiting by the elevator and David Zucker goes. You know what let me go back in and just check and see if they need anything, just follow up on the pitch, so he goes in I'm talking to vince, I'm like how do you think you'd go? How do you think a wine is like maps all right cool, so David comes back because hey, congratulations and I'm like. Oh, they liked it he's like, although they bought it so mike all right. That's cool on what you any inside my cheek ass. You know when you go in and pit something you negotiate, how much it's gonna be before you go get then- and there are many times we are waiting in the lobby and your meetings at three and its three fifteen, because the business affairs hasn't green lit as the deal that you'll want to get excited about something and then have to negotiate it and they lose the power in that. So I knew what I was going to get was one hundred and thirty grand divided by two for this for this price. For this pilot I didn't have gas money to get to the pitch, so I'm trying to not even think about that dollar number or what it would do to my life at that time.

Kid I'm like I just gotta, make this about this story and servicing this right. It's not not! Once again, I know everyone knows what it's like put when you're in hollywood, Those are life preservers like that, is I remember those moments where you driving twond audition in your like. I need this to get. I need this get things I dont use to make everyone happy yeah. There's a lot o. My fucking shoulders today more than just this bottle, yeah. I know this point in time. I was working at starbucks and I was eating. We would write down the broken muffins. You know you just write. Em off they go to throw out, I would eat those my wife was working at a hotel, so she would eat there and then, as making two hundred twenty two every two weeks and that was going towards similar baby formal. So I was eating muffins. My wife was eating hotel cafeteria food that they would give we are using a black found. So maybe my son wasn't even he had to be younger cause. He was on baby form, so.

anyway sumptuary inside my cheek, like you got. Actually this is normal and that its didn't just I can literally save your life and so I'm like alright cool, that's great guys, good job, looking forward to following up on what's next, and so I ran the farmers market because I knew they had payphones in the back, because I myself only been turned off months before because money, and so I call collect to my wife and just start sobbing, like they hot it like. I can even entertain the idea that they could be in the room. I didn't know. I thought there was a whole other set. A thing that we're gonna happen and it changed my life man, because one that put my foot in the door for writing, but to four villages. Listening you thinkin men. That is an exorbitant amount of money and it is but my card of that sixty five thousand is half of that goes to taxes. Ten percent goes to my agent. Fifteen percent goes to my manager. Five percent goes to my lawyer, so I wound up with about twenty twenty one thousand that so, which was still

phenomenal. I took ten of that and I just chopped down some bills right away and we had eleven thousand to live on, so imagine make an eleven thousand a year, because that's what I made for the whole next year, they shot. They didn't shoot the pilot. I wrote it. I covered with a guy, my first foot in the door for dramatic writing alike. Now we're not gonna make it but good job guys, and I didn't work for a whole year after that trying to get job as a writer, but because I call with him. I needed a right and original piece of work here, so I told my and she goes well. This is a very edgy scripts of you should write like edgy cop shows, so I go okay, I go what's an edgy cop show cause you know when you have kids, you don't watch tv you're. Everything on the kid, so she goes the shield, the shields edgy. So I got ok, so I gotta fries and by the dvds of the shield and I start watching them and I'm like fuck. How do I? How would I even write something like that? So it showed bonus, features and that it's at in the writers room that Jang,

I start watching it Shawn ryan, but behind him is a corkboard and it said like episode, three o one and then it said teaser act, one actu and then it had index cards underneath it. So I go holy shit, so I freeze framed it. I walked up to the tv and I'm like that's an episode, so it took a legal pad and I wrote out. I made that like that was the corkboard and I made as many squares as we are on his bored. I filled each one of those where's with the story idea that I would want. I just watch the last of the absurd season and wrote what I thought would be the episode after that wrote that gave that to her. She sent that out. You know us would be almost like your audition knotty audition real, but you know like a set without meeting. Film, a sad and you send that out and that's kind of like you're calling card will you write a specks gripped unnatural I regard as a writer, I got I am on order s view from that spent from that script really yeah, so

your hiring riders, their hiring staff writers? They read that script, they really liked it and how the process works is first, they will reach you and then, if they, like you're, writing del bring you in to meet and possibly be a part of the show. But a writing room is very much like a casting thing because they want people a diverse writers room to bring a lot of different points of view show that their kind of covering a lotta bases, and can you shit in a room for twelve hours a day and not bogart the whole room. You know. Do you have the personality only to but It's all the little nuances that I had no idea that there was, and then I worked on that show for three years, and that was the first shot up first time that that was my foot in the door and then and then does now and then would you go from there and do do do you have to like?

I was always think like I have a buddy who's got a new show coming out on NBC and it's about the deaf or the blind dad. I forget the name of it growing up fisher yeah or it's david J Nash, DJ nash. I was in as I was a comic. I started with him. The first pilot I ever do at CBS was with him. It was his and was the blind. Dad was elliot gould this time, but I always just assume that once you get in the door, you've gotta get kicked out. It's true! No, because we we went on strike of foc and what a shit dick thing for them to do. To you, I was there like six months and we went on strike and then, when the strike ended, we came back and like three, there was a dartmouth lawyer to my left. In a brown lawyer to my right and those

he's got like oh and I just stared at my office door of like if those guys are good, let go so that I don't know what the rhyme reason I mean those we're out of way out and I pay great at the time but, like I know guys, it haven't worked since the strike like producers from the wire like real shit like work. class shows like I don't know why it is that I have continued to work. But you know I I don't know like the little the longest, that I've been awful work since lawn order s view minus the time that we were off for the strike has been about four months, so I've done a black donnelly's law and order s view detroit one. Eighty seven, I break a breakout kings, mob doctor chicago fire. I thought my doctor was going to be fucking huge. I know I thought those I thought that was going to be fucking huge. I love. I love those kinds of mine that is my dad right now. My dad will be like, but it'll be, like my dad will end up listening.

If you like, buddy buddy buddy, you got there's a lot of questions. You gotta ask him. These are really great shudders. What I watch when we went back to my doctor was the first time I worked in chicago on anything. The stage was a mile from where I used to panhandle on the corner. Really I mean I every day as I would like I have to excuse myself and I would get teary out cause. It was just sheer joy and gratitude the first day of shooting we were in an empty lot next to the prison that my mother was in when she, my mom, robbed a bank where she served time whether they tell that story. Yeah, no always tell the police alright. So by the way, I find I find so many ports. What time do you have to get out of here? It is nine forty, nine forty five pm hard and be a little late. Okay. What are you working on now, chicago fire, really yeah that shoots in chicago got tanks, crazy, man, yeah, and it's when you go up to chicago at all.

Right now, I'm a consulting producer around, so I work tuesday, wednesday thursday, but I'm actually on scrip right now, so I was consulting bruce wayne. while going to help break story, I will run any casting ideas together, just like have an extra pair eyes and ears in the room, and I've worked with the executive producer before on breakout kings. So I kind of have a shorthand with him and he can just be like. I need this this and this done, and I can help that's what a great set of vulcan. I, like the I'm going to say this. I fucking hate how I can't just compliment someone, It compliment me to complement them. I was explaining to Tom segura a moment. L owes no. I was It's the show, with most sunday flavors wrote a bit longer, a in green room with you. One of my favorite things being in a comedy club is when you're in the greenroom and there's like eight comics and then all of a sudden like the tornado, starts or like the ball busting starts, and then it lands on you when you have to fight to get it off as quickly as pos.

Oh and then you start making fun of someone else, and then I ones like oh yeah, would it make fun of this guy I've never cried harder with laughter than those moments where you tat people with a razor sharp about asked one of the best whenever you ready for that year, the best whenever I've been ever been on, who did he show called reality bites back? I did it with no mo chris, fair banks, donno rawlins red grant me theo VON amy humor. Kyle cease. What tiffany haddish I'm trying to remember this year, the shells have it was fuckin I mean they could have further it. It was a mist and posters MIKE in black I'm sitting with darnell and red and I've always I've always gotten along easier quicker, I think sometimes with black comics, usually because we all party together at some point so and donald I've, definitely party together and danelle. Ses comes up and cease is playing an angle. Do not let me forget to tell you all the things I want to talk

about. Scorsese is playing an angle that every week it's a reality show every week you where different hat week, one week to week three, and he has thirteen hats printed out, and he also has other hats and he's gonna change out all day. Long will be changing our hats and the first thirty roles up with is weak. One and fuckin dan l ceases and colleges comes up. Very innocent and kyle. Ask two dan l, who grew up on the streets of baltimore waiting for his dad. They come up. Dunams got a very real life. Much like you done donald just season roses eyes and goes that's right: son! You are the weak one year. I suggest say weak kyle kyle's, with chris fair bags and moment, though, as cargoes what I think, I think will be spelled differently than EL, not monday, but you just need

as a week, son an airbag starts backing off. I go and I sitting there laughing? I go chris regal. You goes, I'm afraid, I'm next gardelle dismay hold on this man's old mo kyle die member being abandoned, Donnell tore moa, part I'll, never know. I hope to god. You listen, listen. I hope you have perspective of how funny this was because I know this was enough money for you at the time, but we are in a way and we are, I think, there's coming central executives in there and most set a joke knows all about bit a moment. A joke and Dan L goes. But whoever told you you are funny what you mean because everyone a ban at one point this out. They were. Finally,

jim was ever said. You were funny, I don't think you're funny logos. I swear to god. There goes my mom, your mom. Doesn't care, move your mom kid tell you you're funny being being a comedian? Is gotta, be other people it's another person by mobs that I'm really funny it was. We were laughing so fucking hard and Darnell is just this. He he was like. I was, but I loved it like donald's. One of the fucking greatest guys, I but me and him always connected just because I dunno, I think I remember burns where you like play playground burns, yeah, huh, calm burns where you just like all of a sudden people would walk up. It'd like three or years to walk up, and they just our megan funny you too, and you had to just you

swing and you would just have to verbally respond in a way to beat that shit down, and so you would think a burns that you would bring to the schoolyard the next day. I'm going through anxiety right now, because I'm doing a roast with Jim Norton nicht apollo Bobby Kelly off on comedy central. Do all my buddy cow head is retiring, his name cow head and so he's it's a funeral, but he's going to do a row so he's flying assault down there to do a roast on his radio show so and all I'm thinking is I'm going to be fucked. My feelings are going to get hurt like nick depaulo does not know who I am, but I'm sure whatever little research, he does it's going to fucking tear him apart. Now, let's get back to the

what I want to talk about. So I was saying to what I was not saying this to. I don't know who the fuck I said this do, but the point is a compliment to you. This skill set you ve gotten working on. These shows the muscle, it's all about muscles it more muscles. You haven't comedy the better so like just like working out you'd when you host a tv show, you don't know, what's good at it originally, but if you host hosted long enough, they let you do it long enough. You end up forming a muscle that teaches you had a host if it hosting I've hosted, shows since the beginning of what I did, what I've done.

Ways and it was always technically easy money cause a lot of times. They just want someone for a sizzle, and so they bring in for like fifteen grand for a day, and all he had to do was just make everything understandable, yeah explain what is happening to the audience back and forth, and those were those were sizzle reels. It's dumb the fan, that's what you get per episode, but that's a sizzle reel for one day to do a pilot or a weekend or whatever, but I've learned to host and I've, and I love hosting, I actually love hosting. I think it's the purest it can. You know connection to my now. You, like who's your pocket. gas as well. But what you ve learned is is a muscle that no comic has no kamikaze. She knows even now to have assured him with an executive producer or even had a story board anything or even how to talk in a writers room. That's a muscle. We don't learn, and until we get our own sitcom or until our friend but summits that gun

or until puts on show so it's which is not an odd heirarchy, because it puts a lot it like. It is trial by fire like you must hit the ground running like you know what you're doing and play catch up very fast which, you know now. There's your writing. Like deputy, has show running training programme, and I think now that you know accessibility to cameras in production, shit that when you- and I start we could even imagine like you- can buy a black magic cinema camera now that shootin for k for a thousand dollars. I mean and shoot a movie like its created, even on an iphone if you wanted to or an ipad so that you're learning that type of functionality which we couldn't you know, law and order. S view is still shooting on film on thirty five millimeter, when I regarded now, then they went to genesis and now I didn't even know the proper shooting on an alexa but like or read I've shot. You know all these little digital thing to do, and I could rent right now and we could shoot a pilot in your man. Cave all things considered low end two thousand calling in favors and getting high end editing and posts, which is where shows really made for five grand a broadcast quality. Show

yeah? So it's it's crazy. I mean this is an insanely, exciting time in the kids that are starting right. Now they don't give a shit. They've got youtube right now and they can put youtube and vimeo and all kinds of other shit and they can build up their audience. There's people that haven't really figured out how to monetize yet but doesn't matter that's going to come. You've got thirty million people watching your shit a month and it's a youtube channel. People have to take notice, even though they want to pretend it doesn't exist. That's where it's all going so so So I just I just think it's just such a neat like I was saying oh and austin this and then I was like and then hear you say it I was like, or maybe I should but like I had a company with someone. It was not more or tom, but the next day we're doing something in there were like I've always wanted to do. A travel show, and I said, are you should do it and then a capital and its sophronia. My dialogue with the network is so simple that I know what they're looking to bind and overlooking the programme, but that doesn't behoove makes

I'm already at a deal and I'm already doing nothing and I and they were like food, you just produce it. What's so Interesting as I was like you know what I bet I could produce travel shows for them, because I also know how to tell a comic to be a comic book. I also know how to tell a comic like this is what you need. You don't need to be funny. You just need to be listening, or if you just listen, the funny shit will come out you all the funny shit you used are never going to use half of it could only because they don't need to it's not comedy dependent, we're not making comedy. Central shall make a travel channel show and then I'm I was like I should do a production companies start bringing in comics that I know can host and doing sizzle reels for cheap, real cheap because I'm telling them. Let's do it we'll get the the deal you want afterwards. I know our comics brain work. Yeah. You know gimme bear minimums to qualify me today. There, a lot of guys are due for free. We do sets for free so, but I was,

Wait till you get that headed cause. I've done. You know I've produced spec, half hours and stuff. You know there guys are like. Oh, you can run a show. I've run three writers' rooms. Now, let's do this and it's it's so that's when you wanna talk about working, a muscle. That's when your producer muscle, you know I've got a shell which dude you have to do. Call the Radford hall show the next one's march, fifteenth if you're in town It's sold out for five and a half years, elixir keep calling me so like there's no industry, there, there's no comics there. It's just a line down the fuckin block for every show you gotta bounce, you get into goddamn it. That was the hang on a second hang on one second, three, two seconds yeah, I didn't fucking realize that was today or you get a little niner. No I'm fuckin!

Is this the day you have to be president of Uruguay? No, this is our creative call that I thought was at eleven o'clock. I thought it was eleven o'clock our talk. I guess it was eleven o'clock. Oh, I don't want york yeah yeah. No, it's eleven o'clock denver time what it doesn't matter. They the show produces itself. I don't have a. Let me just call in and tell them that I will talk to Eric about everything, and this is this is the shit that People are gonna cut out and then put on their ipods when they're doing mac sets for the data really like this part of the podcast yeah. This is the real intention, like us check in our phones

This is like this is where they go. This is how I know it's a paw. Guess it's real that today's three hundred? What's your lady elder counters, anyone hey guys. I thought it was eleven o clock, pacific time, mother fucker! Are you guys on? I'm sorry guys, I'm so sorry, oh hold on my phone. dying. I wanna call you back in two seconds. Sorry, sorry, no Eric! I know you're listeners to my phone didn't die, but I'm in the middle of this by cast podcast.

and I I'll call back in like five minutes we're going to wrap it up. He's got to go to work, but I want to hear the story about his when his mom robbed by Eric. If you're listening, burt is literally wearing an I heart Eric shirt. Will you do me a favor? Will you take a meeting with Erik so that if Eric ever once get into scripted development, then he'll be like europe fucked? The conference call here's the deal you ready for the travel show yeah you and me with our kids. Two dads that used to be total fucking animals that are now traveling around with the kids. That's a shot. We take, our kids to a visa, get on with my family, friendly it'll be fun, they got people too, watch you hear bert and I are gonna- go for a walk right.

you've got to go to work. I've got a conference. Call cafe, tell me about the story when your mom robbed a bank alright. So first off I was in my mid twenties, and so my friend dave J who's. Now at the big party in the sky came over and he had ten dvd players, he would his dad was offense and he was offence offences. You know that sells stolen merchandise he broke or stolen merchandise in chicago I was living in jefferson park at the time. So he's like listen man, I think I'm I think, they're watching me. I got ten dvd players. I need one hundred free won't take whatever you want off the top and I'm like sweet I'll move them for a buck. Fifty free money did that. I did not expect so I'm living in an a garden apartment at the time. And I stand against my wall in the living room right, I'm not sure you. I sit down knock on the door, I think,

It's him. I think he left some of the apartment. I opened it up. F b, I open the fucking door, I'm like mother fucker, I'm going down for these goddamn dvd players. I'd had him five fucking minutes. So I opened the door and I don't let him and understand that my keg. What what can I what's going on with you guys like war, you today we know the glorious When I go, why does it work home depot? I the delivery driver over there really? Can you prove that I go yeah yeah the timecard is on camera everything they go now all right cause your mom rob for park federal bank this morning and I go oh Jesus. Thank god.

Is there like what like nothing but crickets? This isn't about dvd players that can fuck with its kid like that said, hall yeah? Well, fuckin. She loves the vodka, so I dunno I got nothing of I can I I have no idea you can go check home depot niles whole thing, so I can whatever it's called store phone rings. My uncle my mom's rose, like yeah. Your mom robbed the bank this morning, total fucking shit storm. So here's what happened. My mom troubled, my mom, never lived an easy day and our entire park life man every day was caught him bird. Why do I think she looks like tanya harder for some reason: almost yeah, gradually I'd haired, yeah yeah, pretty good com and good com linda So when you, what happened? Is this right around time? More like you could still have like long distance was a separate bill. Local color supper bill,

on your internet. If you went over certain amount of time you got built like you know it I mean so she met this cat name, any valera one line and they started having a romance online and she would talked of any video from Florida. They talk on the phone, and so My mom's drinkin she's, now work in the bills stack up. Her ability to just live life is it's so she starts fantasizing about what left what life will be like with Vinnie in florida, so she's like fuck it I'm gonna, hit a bank, take the money and I won't even go back to my apartment. I just drive straight to florida, so she goes in. She robs a bank with a note saying I'm being held hostage and unless I think she asked for thirty five hundred dollars like it wasn't even a lot of money, cheeses. So she goes and she hits the bank and they get. She parks two blocks away. It's all fucked up shouldn't, even though the blinkers on

It was a mess she's running down the street, the wigs half cock, fighting glasses, falling off her face just a mess. That's on time. You see a groucho Marx got an operation, so she gets your car black caprices everywhere they hook her up. They take her downtown at the mcc sorts of fuck odd. You know what I mean, but it's my mom, so we it's, we, we duchess the way that it is like she would carry around a derringer with her We pull it out and she cops arrested for pulling guns. I mean so it wasn't like super far fetched as it had started to escalate. So many calls my uncle now, I'll go. My mom don't really get along really well, and my uncle is can be a fuckin lodge yet hard core motherfucker. So the venues call in many goes. Listen. I love you sister. Obviously, she's got some problems. Mountains think to robbed a bank today. The facts- and I will you yes he's got problems in vinny goes well listen. I got some news

in my mouth like you're having a hard kid like, I don't. My spider senses are tingling. You got something's up with you and you either tell me what it is or I find out either way we're going to know what it is and vinnie goes. I will listen, and hopefully you can tell your sister this, but I'm actually a woman and mark was like what what what did she say and she goes yeah I posed as a guy online, but I'm really a woman, and I never really had the heart to tell you my uncles like it and then Vinnie goes. Do you think she's going to be mad rob a bank since, like focus like you know how like, when some people say well she's going to kill you yeah, she's, literally going to do that she's going to get out of prison she's going to find you and as you're, going to take your life. But my heart goes like oh I'll tell her.

Yeah, so he goes down to the mcc downtown in chicago and tells my mom hey by the way. Just so you know, Vinnie is a woman, so my mom's just nods, her head leaves, makes a shank and then just the next morning just starts stab in any italian. She can fight for it. This is a riot in the prison. They gotta shackle her up entranced for her out to another prison. Where do you think they transfer her too We say flock and florida flower read you shitting me. Yes, so now she goes in florida who do you think's forty five minutes away from them? very far very fucking palermo, cannabich made of everyday chosen

the beautiful areas. I would like to finish. This is where I won't let him back, who was hoarse jack somebody get a body so so, first first my mom here yeah, but then my man in prison she's not going anywhere she's like fuck it. I got a visitor, no one from Chicago Why? Down as Amy me start singing Veni and then my margarets out she desert halfway time in Chicago. Second, they take the bracelet ask down to florida spent the last eleven years with any man. It's a love story, fucking craziest, love story. Ok, how about that man? That is hey! We gotta do this again. Man yeah man could talk four hours, we ve been the weeping point around enough because it so early in the morning, then I think we just hopscotch, but it was real blessing and amen. This is fucking great. We should have morning podcast

I'm telling you I will show up in rio for a two week: crazy, I'm in rio for two weeks starting next week, but then I'm back home or more those who are doing in march fifteenth that the Radford for I just went out involved. That's what this guy, Finally, I want to take my phone, I think, I'm in chicago or fifteenth oddly enough, due to fear in Chicago I'm going to set. You up where you plains: anus, no schaumburg schaumburg. Can you get down into the city yeah? Alright, you want to go into the dunk tank. Was the dunk tank fuckin pure insanity? What is it I'm just saying I could hook you up. That's my town, man it'd be like. If I was govern chicago march fifteenth. Are you yeah, alright I'll have some Can pick you up and if you wanna do jaffa in bulk burglarize your insanity in Chicago make it happens to call an end to this complex problem into pretend I'm on hang on. This is how Eric I apologise. Once again. I know you're listening to this, and I know you like or can I problem on the park? Ass was, I called you do like low promised at the end, to show what it would mean I try

the people I do. Packets colony, please wait, promoted area its job it's every monday. You can find it on itunes or stitcher. It's called the mick betancourt show that's mit k and the last name is b e, t a n c o. U r t and my twitter handle is at mick betancourt. If you leave a five star written, If you sign, I may like email me at the mic, betancourt show its lips are hey guys. I'm here, sorry, ok, keep going sorry, my phones ready Okay, gotta go keep going so you can email me a screen. Do a five star written review. Email me at the mick betancourt show gmail dot com and I'll mail. You out a free show. Shirt is my side of gratitude. We're always been because burt's on a conference call a podcast about the mulattos consequence, I don't know if you can check them out we're going to do one march we're gonna do a morning podcast again yeah yeah yeah. That sounds great. Alright, this is crazy.

I agree. This absolutely is brought to you by the machine. With you a cellular, it's just twenty nine ninety nine per line for one two or three lines, so you don't need that robot daughter, you built to get a fourth line for family glamorizing, robe, loser, Beth she's, not gonna! Like that, the road I scenario, video, get the low rate of twenty nine. Ninety nine per lie. We were cellular built for us terms, applied this EU s, cellular dot, com, pretty death, we value human connection with fever. Distractions cellular built for us visit your! U s. Cellular authorized agent located at eighteen. Fifty two decorator pike in athens

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