For my 41st B-Day, I sit down in the MANCAVE, after dinner at Benihanas, w/ My two sisters Annie & Kottie, Kotties Fiancce Mike, & my wife and talk about the time Kottie thought I peed on her, my goals, & Annie being single.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
The visual my book, like the party, is now available for pre order at berber burdock, as well as a limited edition, murdered out machine or today's podcast, my sister Eileen caddy caddy fiance MIKE and my wife get a get a shirt. I love you. This is the thing everyone we're now recording headphones.
No you don't get have answered is just about
The podcast a monopoly
it's nine argos.
now is when it gets unnatural,
someone was talking very comfortably and then the second I hit record Annie shuts up.
shut up my colds
likely and doesn't speak. That has been one second, ok, oh you,
get the energy, you didn't feel the energy cause. I felt it. I felt the energy do. Nothing. Was that important? That weird makes you talking to them like any real close, real, close can't get closer yeah we're talking about waking up at six, am with my children got up at five,
and this morning, why are we talking? What was the? What was the precipice of that conversation MIKE said that at daylight savings time is kicking his ass
no, but I thought I thought micro saying that it was more of a tender was really eleven because
Savings, I think, but he was saying that, because it
think about them. Having gets yeah that never step to yes, yeah, yes, in the end,
May I gave is by lively and my sister Annie.
but really listeners. Listen to this point.
Lot of suitors
oval out of the moon suits, but a lot of suitors, my sister coffee and her fiance MIKE aright,
everyone. Please try to talk to my phone swallow get a bunch of emails. Talking about how we didn't do my phones and we are official recording.
so the somewhat tolerable
today? Is your birthday? That's right held forty one caught. You are wholly you thirty one
zay. Thirty, eight thirty, nine, forty three three three, forty three,
secondary to know my. Are you just turn? Thirty four
Were you doing at thirty four leon I was with with you. Had a baby said george
thirty. I was thirty three, almost thirty four, when adder wow and I was thirty five, almost thirty six when I had either really almost thirty six, yes she's July and I'm august, so is that considered? I was a dinner tonight too.
Oh talking to this guy, who was probably fifty and I'm like yeah, I'm getting a late start getting married at thirty. Five will have a kid or guess I'll, be thirty. Four, when I get married have a kid when I'm thirty six,
Right, but this is this is a conversation like a guys. I e role has been led.
They didn't ya like a real being,
Thirty seven sets, I thought
three other would have really bounced shoes. I saw get bitten
I work at a nine month, so no freakin way new living islas when the fucked it up I'll fuck.
Any possibility of us having three kids. She was such a handful that I thought
myself. I have another one. I will
my mind, and none of these people will give it the need. So I can't do it. I was has always just so harsh she's been fearful liberally. Now
retainer. Let's just would today like tonight about tonight a bounty hunters when it goes, don't touch that it's hot
throws her hand on the grill that just like
you just look at that kid and go fuck. It's only going to get worse. Isn't
No! No! No! No! It just think about this. Ok
nine months old and you're walking ten months old, george you're calling you can't talk to her, you can say hey baby. How about don't do that she doesn't understand, so is actually gotten a lot easier, a lot easier in the
six months, I'd say: search yeah, yeah yeah, I'm a lot easier, but before that I was losing, man knew a lot like our family. Like I was, like george
really easy to deal with. Any was like isler
and then the third one is
subservient
see the monster
who knows that clean when they freak do carry getting citing I'd start.
Meaning and look I got in a like a little but cannot like tidying up like
he d, like probably should medicate me back. You may like we do about it.
you know any emotion. Any emotion colleague circulating
Can you tell the story. I interrupt you a million times by
root story ever is when you thought I peed on you. You ve heard this right. Then we tell me start it starts with. It starts with
starts in the car. No, it started in the morning with you. Wake me up on the couch,
they were leaning over me, like did you piss on yourself last night and I was like so gross cause. You never slept with a blanket or a shirt on that couch, not
their chests bare and rule
I was saying
they still have no, no, no to ok. Those accounts. I had new york wait had that cat that had avi blue leather,
the people who live on our side they break out. I think I had at last in a
I have lost last. I
I hadn't had york new york city
me entire rigorous, had at new york and that's a couch. I woke up on when when dad
fuckin. Fourteen
years ago
It is, it is had your I got is the same couch,
Fourteen years ago, when dad told me, I was a piece of shit.
On my birthday human either their story, you. I know you ve done. That story
amber, I dont know I'll tell you
the day the short story. It was my bird
twenty six and I was in new york. I do a stand up and I was landed us not. I would do it
I really wasn't doing it. I had done a couple of mics by wasn't doing shit and, as my birthday, my twenty six birthday and dad called- and I remember Lang
the couch. Remember that in that studios,
We had me entirely, is out across the counselor and I remember
seeing it the phone ring and seeing his number and thinking don't get it I'm hung over. I don't want to. It was like eight in the morning
Is he just was with me happy birthday. I bet
up. I go hello. He goes you're a piece of shit. I was so caught off guard. I go though, you're going to be happy birth. He goes
he was dire and any just given that break off speech. I've talked about a number of times, but he just told me: I had
humility! I had no. I had no sense of earth,
earning everything in life. I does it that he had fuck me up. It was a great it was the greatest beaches ever given me in my entire.
if it's the greatest thing that ever happened to me and it manifest
Whatever happened to me in my life, but he was like I was.
the endless today. He he just paste goose like I was in court today and the judge asked how you are I'm under oath bert, I'm under oh,
and I fucking why I lied to the judge instead you're doing good. I got my corner thought
kind of man am I that I lie in court. I lied under.
both. I remember going. Like I mind you now that it's eight one, eight one three I'm still hung over, I'm still tired, I'm on the couch going on that blue couch just hold the phone going. I was like
It's my birthday like, oh, I will point. Are you to say what you got me for my birthday, like that's the my brain works
and he said anything, but would you give me an arm like leaves you give its by birth? I kept thinking it's my birthday but,
and I say this thing that you're saying ringing true, and that was my birthday, my birthday, it's my birthday, you two!
guardian and you'll get my my you'll know this from me.
not no one listen! This is gonna notice.
Maybe you will I dunno, but, like
you know me is that I
automatically my hair was like. How do I victim myself out of this and be like
like of course shot up lamb.
I fucking shut up so real. I was
I never pass up martyr. I know I was trying who is going to be the spiderman. I thought, how do I get myself back in my head? I was
I am being very being very honest, legendary, forever. Norton.
I go years, they will. We learn memory that abroad.
You said it
for example, yeah thanks.
nobody told me,
the piece of shit like that boat. You up, I didn't teach value,
your life you never earned.
The thing that ever worked for anything and everything
My birthday present deriving from the sky bar
I did are mad brought me a newsboy,
the youth. I hope everyone,
doing this? It is murmured. That's what I've been drinking. So there's two things you said me said he said and approve of regos
Oh oh, I owed it for the first time alive I owned it. I said
I why? What can I do? I accept wanted to be like?
I guess so what I want to do, but could you make fun of me but, like I wanted to find a way out of it in a leg
out of the conversation and change it, but I didn't
said: how do I get? How do I fix it he's a good kid?
as I remain a candy goes you can't you your fuck up like that? I I thought your story
I'll just pay for everything and you'll be fine. Emery like I was like, but no, but I don't want to be a fuck up and he goes buddy. You don't have what it takes to fix it and he was not even being like. I'm you know. Do you guys know that that,
not the way that talks and he was so like. I can
you don't have it I'm sorry, you lost it and I was like dad I'll. Do it
these are you won't? He was all tat.
what to do in your argue with me and I was ignored, sweating,
They would have it attacks. The news I come here are you need
to go to the kind of club? That's for a job, and I said well dad that's how it works. You have. I told you, that's why you ll never falcon fix it. He goes any person on the street. I go dad
You can't just go to club and asks and you look we can because no, you think, he'll look weak the average
out there that doesn't have a father, that's willie!
give him money, because you're fired from barnes a noble
I, you: are there the dagger? Far from barnes and noble, you got fired, anyways anyways, he left for work and called me.
Earlier I have come back home. I got fired really one deals
I know that forties just drink forty gallons all day wait. Why did you get fired working out in the basement around where it's a long story? Here's the point anyway, we get we get dad tells me goes go to the club and find the guy
I told you do anything you'll make burgers your mop up your driving and I was like almost wanted to watch him fail. So I I go. I remember I remember saying to him.
was. I do that I go daddy. Can I have plans? He was like what is my birthday? I said
it's my birthday, I'm having a
it is like you haven't, earned a fuckin party, usually you having a party for
here's, your turn. Twenty six, you have nothing your fucking life. What are you going to celebrate? Here's? How about this? How about you fucking? Go! Take your debts off to dinner
a big about who the fuck you are, and I was like ok
ruined my birthday and I was like, but he was like you. If you do it, I'm telling you you
Tomorrow feel, like you earned, a party also tells you write, doesn't go, he goes, take sit down.
and right doesn't goes. You have planned for this year, achieve those fuckin goals and what you achieved those goals. Then you deserve a party and I was like
ok, so myself to a a tie, restaurant on seventh street and bleaker. I think it's gone now. If you are lemongrass, resolve them and- and I wrote down-
twenty six goals and I went down to the comedy club and I went to lucia for, and I was like the guy who run it at that time when I was like
I wanna be a comedian, everything! That's it ought to be
Media do anything all mopped up on my burgers output jumped up a chairs up
Do whatever you need. I just want an opportunity to see
Please give me a vice, I'm giving you just go back to
and also well that's not an option is he's like back to florida and go fuck yourself because you're not getting the job here, you don't you're, not a comedian. I don't look use comedian, you'll, never be a comedian. So almost defeat like an excited kind of way, I went back and called dead. The next morning was what happened. I told him he was perfect, perfect
go back tonight, go that same guy louis schaefer and tell the exact same thing: monies for christ's Rona beacon,
no devil of a full goes. You think you will to louis you look persistent
and you'll look like a thorn in his side, and you tell him at the end of the night. I will
do this every single night. Until you give me an opportunity and until you give me opportunity, you're going to see me every single fucking night, so give me an opportunity- and I was like
and literally I didn't have any other options or went there together.
solution ever yadda, yadda yadda, but there's any good
I told you to go to fucking florida. I go look. Here's the deal. I just talked to my dad. My dad broke me off late last night and this is going to happen.
Every single night as long as I'm in new york and I'm in new york for awhile on a year lease- and I will do this to every single night- to give me an opportunity and lewis was like alright fine go out front
bark and you bring in twenty people at the end of the night. If you bring a twenty or twenty five people I'll give you twenty five dollars and if there's still a crowd I'll put you up down in the night and I was like really he was again. I was like shut the fuck up. That was, like literally changed my life. I was like awesome and he was great, and so I did it and back
night karen berger Green, who is a very funny female comedian was on stage and for puerto rican. I brought in everyone on stage I brought in people with groceries like I brought everyone that walked out
street in DO member commoner when I did that now now.
I feel like dad. Can you I point out, but I don't know if you were, I went once doing when Osborne came off but we'd saint, how the show is over and you go up there, and so so
that night, Karen berger los angeles for puerto rican guys are brought on stage. I brought into the club, so I sat him right up front. What does that mean puerto rican? No, oh
that's our latino descent barking is like you stand on the street and you, as people walked on the streets is going home. You stop them in your life.
ask them and you're like hey, listen, we got a comedy, show and they're like no thanks, you're like no. No, no here's the deal. I was actually really. What's really fascinating is
an you any cod
I know this solely and a little bit mike you'll be like really- and I have social anxiety so like that form of interaction but kind of bothers me, a lot like ba getting people off the street and being like
a gigs like that's, not who I am really. I can genuine like genetic make up. That's not why I'm the guy together goes.
Hey man, I got a great army, show another salesmen like that, which is ironic, because
I did that for a living on trip flip and I and I get people off the street, but I had to
do that now to learn how to do that, and I had to be good at it and I did it and so on
People they belong and I go hey. I've got a great
we show it.
National headliners Dave chappelle and Jim Breuer.
name off the names augustine for free. How about this?
to drink minimum you by the drink drinks you buy, you see, try to run their like bourbon, also front and they're the back like I would just seldom they get them in there,
I was really fucking good at it and then and then that night for puerto rican dudes. I brought sata front camera burgling out on stage and they made her cry. They were the not the greatest guys is like and, and she started crying as she walked off
which Lois Schaefer leaned out front looked around looked at me. I was the only one there and he goes you. You want to be a comic you're up next and he won't upstage and it was.
Guys. Our next comedian is his first time on stage at the club or I dunno MIKE. There are a couple of times and I went up and I fucking latest news on fire. I fuck it was just old school.
Fraternity shit and I destroyed them and they got up and left the crowd went nuts and I didn't have any material but
but I got a job there. That's all! I got a job now. I don't know why we talk about this. Here's your time.
Dog pee. Are you sure this is how we got here then segued into the blue couch and it has a blue couch in your
The blue, blue, couch she's, so the blue, couch cati woke me up on yeah yeah, so they say you're taking me to school. I was I was in college at the time and I was, I think, partying pretty hard and thank really errants. Now
so I go for colleagues. We have one morning she standing over me your what ten eleven thirteen twelve. Are. You really are you at a cat. It we hurried off. Sparrow adapt enemy your middle school. I was.
okay and cardi's. Looking over with that kati face of like that scrunched nose, she has wake up, mom and dad to take me to school. Scrunch. Did you piss on yourself last night and I'm like what excuse you pissed on yourself, you smell like piss, I got cut, I don't see you know you pissed on yourself. Oh my god. Oh my god, let's go, I was in boxers. I got right
the car in life. Jeddah knowing your cheap, you must have in your eye the jeep and at the windows were down.
Got in the car. I was still in boucher very inappropriate by the way, taking only the middle school shirtless in a barrel box or not in florida, florida
it was hot- the windows down leg of the car- god he's like. Oh, my god, you reek of piss, you remember, yeah and everytime caught would lean forward to smell my chest. I could smell it and I was like
I do smell it. She's, like did you pee on me? You kept blaming it on the air vents in the car. I go yeah I kept leaning forward to smell the irvine. It got even worse. Every time I'd lean forward
We felt better because it would be weird if you were leaning forward to smell his chest. Note she didn't
which she did.
My chest along are now up on that couch and everything was wet. So I didn't know if he was sweating. If so, yes, probably he peeled himself off and the smell sexy, and so we are hot boxing, the jeep.
Ben Cati determined that it was her she's like we did. You kill me,
That's right. I got annoyed peel news because you did my room last night. Oh, my god, you passed on me last night
I like gaudy. I did not feel you. I was worried guys, like you did this before I peed on christian mattox dining room table, so I didn't have a track record for it as a cuddy. I didn't choose
it's it's me, I smell like piss and we're driving and we're now we're driving them at that. Bruce numbers me downs, but like that single road down in loots, like from that it were driving a lunatic, fern and and and now I'm convinced I go- it's not me. It's called collie smells like piss. We pull into care what their school and even say anything. You saw me leave that carney didn't even say caught. He gets out of the car he gets out and I the smells gone and I'm like oh shit in my head, I'm like
pistol coffee and I went to school in the woods I was dangerous yeah. I was look like you
it up. It bothers me jack.
was dogma, so so Kati I leave the car kind of leaves garten. I spelled it off all right, oh my god fuck
I think I pissed on Kati. I remember thinking that the old time I don't can't believe I would have pissed on my sister, but I must have pissed on her. So I get home. I go, lay back down on the couch, I start fall asleep and the phone rings and it's what was her name, mrs gary, as mrs gary, no its not guarantee the principal at the time. Now anyway, she calls up. She goes.
No, oh! Maybe where is she
besides this mister cruncher. I go. Yes, it is
because I thought I thought I am. I am mr grazer or delaney or demands that my birthday that graduated yes, it is very in my office. Right now go okay, but I gotta say I business.
He goes how she just informed me that someone named thelma had urine
who
that makes sense about always are
yeah, like hey, why did you color in some of your letters o is like what are you talking about native burgundy, like really horrible jacket, your dance, jazz, dance jacket and had white lettering on the back? What happens like neon, yellow cute color in any kind of thelma hat.
Had been not just the David, had there not fell in love with almah test on and stuff. I remember you member. She jump into a suitcase, just pay me it. Oh I get it
Thank you. I really did write your site is on the floor. The girl, like you, god, put it up or close it, the dogs,
They're like really wachter, was so graphs that you'd Stefano shit like walking through the all the promises
that's all I have. Neither. Why will you walk you do that?
I know that there was one room. There was one room, there was one, no, no, no, the the fucking mom's office always had the dumbest shit that stepping in and just squirt it would ruin right between your toes. I remember I was dating that girl alex and she one time
She got in the car and I go out on your shirt and yellow she has and she was what a little piece of work she was. She looked empty us out, diet, coke!
coke and others. On your shoulder fuschia, I some diet, coke. I go you spill dyke,
If over your shoulder, where you at a bar mitzvah, like have you over your shoulder, she was like. I just
No, when I go
over your shoulder on your back useful that I go over your shoulder on you, Baxter gay, I blog diamond, what's bulls
early, the rest, mona goats, dog prisoners,
the shit. I you lying working! Why can't you just tell me what it was thought that dog, pissed and shit you met.
No more or less word right. Yes, with hair wrapped around that one tooth,
wrapped her round holes
She died eighteenth executives. Who is really all there. She was
all those who, like breasts, she had a breast removed,
but she said in her speech is going up her stomach and with that one tooth she took her stick. I took her to get them taken out and the doktor like flipped her over there like
we have. A couple of clay was aroused my issue like this wire hanging off Betty the ball at one too, but we got fell, move because the die before there are four attacked. Cati Cati. Do you wanna talk about that? Did you think did? What's he can't break for bad luck?
key camp ripe for that you in our for now were burnt night at. I don't remember what you skip. I do remember, lay in bed and I do member europe. He was on heart, he worm medicine. Yet our four was a jack Russell terrier, who.
Basic usual wild animal that lived and our yard. We didn't
How is this is. This is way before
animal animal,
sku nine one, one
on animal planet. Remember all the bulls we put out: it wasn't bowls and it was those are. Those are the things you got by selling diet. Yet the jenny, oh jenny, Craig it was yeah, jenny, Craig. It was, and you just put it right on the back area and just put it put a can dump it square knot, don't pray,
Ever and they shut the door and then arthur would just come running but are for we got our fur and then he just started catching rats like left and right. We lived in the woods, birds snakes, anything I remember, the arnolds were building their house and they had a hole under the thing that was infested with rat,
and they shoved our foreign there like holding onto his hind legs. He came out. There were tales coming out of his mouth. I remember that just
we are for was a wild fucking animal that lived in our neighbour
and you'd be with ib booth, Chris Barr, all canyon and might broccoli
are all those guys and our food just come rolling by like with an animal in his mouth and he'd, be like a dog if you were in the boat, he'd swim out to the boat and you'd have to you'd have to put him in the boat. I tell a great story about,
our with a like ryan kwannon came in and Alan and we each one them
about where house one weekend is alive.
If you remember the scots, but was
I was in high school. We all came out now wanted to go out on the boat and go out in the boat and arthur went on the boat. We lost him in the lake. I remember that the n and I tell a story of the girls that is very fantastic about alligators and ducks and or the one time you tried to show kati and I have this natural spring.
That was passes over the spider web. Oh my god, I hope to ever got. It
appreciating us reminiscing about our childhood be out where there is a natural spring spring that was like. If you went back on the corner.
as far as I can tell you that
arthur was a wild animal many attacked caddy one night cause we brought this week.
An nor house one.
I am going to stay inside. That was the problem. Yeah dad had broken his back with the garage dad bro. No, no, he didn't break his back. Dad broke his back. He dented it identity, the dog's back.
I wanted to say he broke his fuckin back. It wasn't broken cause. He was totally fine just a little bit
I'll return. He was resilient. What the door
totally resilient, he needed chiropractic. No, no! Let me tell you what can I can I can I very candidly inch or can I very candidly tell you what happened? What would happen is we'd pull
and I would open the door and the second we opened the door. Darfur arthur would start running the door and dad would start hitting the garage door back and forth on. I am not making this up at all yeah he go, I can get them. I can get him in the car like get him and then one time he got back, he broke his fucking back. Did he live forever? Well, he
so that our words we bought over the
so they were sitting in my room and I'm sick or even inwardly.
Of course, as what does paypal the florida cats staring
Its we bring logos, sets college freshmen there and I don't like her
what you sleep an arbiter in the face.
given the rest is folk lore of what really happened to the end of our four. We really do. I know
bert. You say I like what I now when he went to the farm. He did not. He went to a farm right after you, robins you'd roberts also went robin task in a basket. I think
even a basket robin secretary. She can take them in a basket
oh no apparent I've always liked toto's basket. He was in a basket like dorothy. I was a basket. He was in a basket pollution in the world. You know it was a basket
We press do lay
Never I was like arbours gone guys. Zeb dead were never see africa.
And then we got Dahmer right after that. Like that christmas right, fortieth.
holy shit that was mom's fortieth? When I was weight that is well yeah, I guess it does. I was I was age. He won't show us what grades island second was. I was the age when you got attacked, we got thumb. I was,
as summer of my first grade, when I got attacked, we got thelma, are you shitting me greg know that sounds age makes total sense. I could totally get attacked by a dog.
Joys I'll, be everyone with others. Don't the alien get the dog off at camp, I will start laughing. I can't I won't be able to get about who's. So funny. Is that because I
you, I don't think you ve seen the visual. What she was doing. She's very carefully walked up to the male manic
in the under armour with the under armour shorts on and just very Kennedy grab like looked at his junk and then rest your fingers out like that. Like a little like an alligator,
and just squeeze in it and jiggling surrounds us Emily and started laughing so hard
but we ve tried to get it stops, be were watching and they answer
so hard that she'd buckled over and could sub laughing and then
no she's gotta laughing, so I'll keeps doing it all the fucking americans
All the man he's just a gigolo in their jug and then
well motor, because I can't stop lot crying. I was crying. I was sitting on the floor and I I grab her grab her and hold her hands down and I'm like I'll stop.
But she's gone for the junk, and I can't stop laughing holding her so either.
oh and lands with a double over and george is going. What is it? What is it? It was four. It was one of the funniest fucking videotaped it as being horrific parents,
Alright, what other stories you guys won't tell we've we've only done thirty, two minutes, fifteen minutes more, that's it and I have no idea what was your most memorable or ask ask in the mike mike: it's not real. If I don't watch, what's your most memorable birthday, my most memorable, my eleventh
were really no questions asked. Where does anyone want to raise a apparently you'd start, their wild boy? I got hit the mouth, the baseball bat that was you.
It was my birthday horrible, well, sixtyth, memorable way
Oh my days, eggs, you right.
If every thirty eight thirty two on like that, I got hidden above the baseball bat you
fucking, assholes,
you asked the fucking quite right, thinking
I only have twenty eight t note baby have more than twenty. I did. I got fourteen on top and zoom in fourteen on bottom, but lost teeth on his look. Every two that are not real right now was damaged, okay, so twenty four,
Except for the gold ones? Okay, so then the twenty are high thick at eight nine. Ten, eleven eleven twenty two twenty two teeth weight, so I can hit them out of the baseball bat I was, we were playing baseball.
You like for everyone, for everyone is
watching this any just did her best agenda Jamieson embrace no twenty sixty one. How far can seriously to any do
Haiti is already do I'm sorry. I would like
We want to take a baseball bat mouth and just get to ok. It was a baseball bat to my mouth where there was a letter, metal met,
Leon what years it's like anybody to mental baseball bat? What do you think
was meme. It was a stick ball me and my kids are growing up in brooklyn. I'm just trying to
imagine what it sounded like when you get hit at the post as opposed to a thunk right. Are you ready for you guys
I sucked the rest of this. I get hit them. I was passed ball catching throw my mask off grabbed the ball. Throw the ball over the dudes right, shoulder he's a right handed baseball player by about
his right handed batter, don't over his right shoulder and throw the guy out at third base leanne. Please listen! I am a thing. I was getting coffee and bottle it's a it's! A that's a twist off. I have a budweiser. Budweiser is more your speed. It's a twist off finger, speed, tenant, but more because you're interrupting his divine comedy so passed ball. I block it. I throw off my helmet and mask. I grabbed the ball, throw the ball over the dudes right shoulder and throw the guy out at third base impressive. I then step to the plate, and the guy who had just swung brings the bat back and trying to break up the play. I'm eleven years old, trying to break up the play and hits me in the mouth and knocks out all my teeth. They are on.
One home plate. My teeth were on home plate I'll, never forget it because mom came out to home plate and picked up my teeth. Oh god, I must hold on dad dads our coach dads, our coach. He probably I I'm crying from eleven, so it's not like. I can still cry teeth knocked out. I go. I go twenty fuck, you guys
go to the dugout at eleven. I take all my quivered off. I made tat outside of out of a birthday party parameter
Where do you?
Yeah so did you make the party shut up? I take my caching equipment off. Dad looks at me with my hat and my glove and he goes. I need you to play shortstop. I said. I'm sorry and he goes you gotta finish out the ending big guy. I go. I'm going to the doctors and he goes nope you're playing shortstop for the rest of the inning cause. If we take you out of the game, we lose the game, we forfeit the game. We had played like five
if you had it- and I was like dad- I can't play- I just got my teeth knocked out. I'm Nigel a mumbling this to him and he goes buddy you're going to go in and play shortstop is tomorrow.
you gonna be fine, so fucking put ice of ethic
you was the living matter
poor boy
what's wrong:
birth.
so I put all my fucking money love leaving
I was bleeding aggressively just checking. I went out to shortstop no teeth in my mouth, the blips all hit from a bat that had been, and I and I played shortstop for two outs to this day. If you asked out about ago
it's going to forfeit the game, swear to you on our children. If you bring it up, he distinctly remember it. Mom remembers it mom. I get done the inning. I am walking to the car and you know my mom's like. I can't believe you did that and I was like. I can't believe I did, that we get in the car and now I'm feeling a victim. This is an
maybe something that anyone listen this knows about, but everyone this room knows about that. I I love playing the victim and I get in the car. Mom starts the car and I'm upset that I had to put fissioning that I'm not gonna have a birthday party that I'm not going to that. I have my teeth knocked out and I look at mom and never forget it and I go
great birthday, montfort, sobbing, crying and our whole. Maybe you should know that
another sobbing clawing control, be we drove the doktor opposes office, and I just like
hm yeah. That was that's the most memorable birthday. I've had that is awful. How did they fix your teeth? We mean dude you're, my sister, I will always remember you had teeth knocked out there, not all of them. The captain metronome that a temporary caps from that time.
On I will say I already had the maybe I might have already had I want to say I got them in like fourth grade third grade or fourth grade caps: yeah caps, not your cap, south philly's, you not understanding what we're talking about my teeth or my family's teeth are notoriously horrible
Georgia's got them, I've got them, are bite our teeth. Everything about our teeth is bad, and so we would like the first generation of people that got the caps and crowns temporary and permanent and bonding
like that kind of when that technology showed up. We were the first ones on that. Wouldn't you is that accurate and so so yeah I had that once had temporary crowns and that's what got knocked out, but it broke the teeth, and then I had to get
implants put in and then I got and then I was water skiing and hit the back of each us head. We were tubing, we join our tubing and and what we would do is like we would like. Fucking idiots, like one person, would lay perpendicular to them than other perceval they on top of them like
seeing the boat, but with a parallel with the boat kind of and then which one I fell in. I knocked out like wanted, the for, like pie, nine teeth and they went to his head. Oh there aren't a couple but stitches, and I know I don't think he did, but we got up- and I remember him being like
I never get. We wrecked my not our teeth and then there were like freaking out and we chose like we're going
his teeth, his teeth around my head and I was like whoa and south korean auto- was laughing hysterically thinking. That was just an awesome, wipe out and he was like what she.
What up and then y'all came and everyone fucking like melted down, and then I had to go to the dentist I'd stay like through for three days without to eat, and I just didn't. I lost weight for the next eleven know that when that happened, when I was like seventeen sixteen seventeen weight to lose, I would lie I'm sure I looked good all right next question mike next question. I'm actually surprised as your dad as your dad chilled out over the years
I'll, let my guy at all to me that would that would make you finish out on anything when your teeth are knocked out. He doesn't seem like that speech. He gave you in new york on your other birthday yeah. Well, I think my mean I dunno. That's a loaded question. Anyone else want to take a stab at that. I think our relationship or our relationship be at mit. Go ahead. Got bored has a very different relationship with our dad than we do so he's harder on, but you're talking to me
I think he also relates more to him in many ways I dunno. I think it was it's. It is a loaded question like it's a very loaded question, but it is very answerable in like tomorrow. The time remember easter, when Joey gave dad the popcorn. Yes here,
yeah, oh yeah, and then we all ended up at your house and dad never having a couple of cocktails at a cigar
on thanks? He knew so open new sites like this fuckin dude I'd, never talk to news, ike
what really upsets me, as you remind me so much of my father and I was like and he had lost his dad thinks that was like forty two yeah and I'm forty one, and I think he just resent that he he saw that
He was a very different dude. Also, I think, for a very long. I knew a very different do the main issue and then he d, just as we are
drastically different relationship, and I think I'm so much like mom that I think there was a you know that,
mama, almost identical. I think dad polly felt like he could talk to me like he talked to mom.
and I was older. I was much older and I was a boy. I spent a lot of time with them when I was a kid you know of like so funny
Georgia is for four off honour and on I'm telling you I say the single
most memory. The single most intense memory I have of playing baseball. Dad is hint on the bottom me and me going to get it yeah. That sounds like it. No out at: u s f and I was swinging down and he
well you're, doing the goddamn chopper, it's the chopper, fucking chopper, you swing level level drop, your hands drop, your hands swing level, and I and I in I couldn't help it, but I swung down. Georgia swings down and I am fighting myself not because I remember going dead, it's how, if you're comfortable swinging, let me stream this way. I don't give a fuck, I want it to be this way. If I don't hit ten of them, I don't care. This is how it feels comfortable and georgia is doing the same shit and I'm turning into data MIKE george doing the fucking chopper and she's, like I'm, trying that I'm like the fuckin yeah. I think that that is mellowed out a lot too. There was a look and I've. I've talked about this openly about a lot of things. There was the time
was on those diet pills that I was like impossible to deal with him like he was taking those pills that doctors prescribed to him that it was basically speed. I remember he gave me one for easter.
I want to be gillen. Towels allowed your tongue. Oh, I was like fucking like humming and I was like. I didn't need the thing
if the grape appealed it and he was like he was like- oh but they're, amazing aren't they, and I was like I think it's speed is like no doctor gives it to you. I was pretty sure speed is like no body. I take one of these. I sit at my desk and I fucking focus. For
where's my debts for eight hours. They go daddy that well that new that due to make math,
so yeah like, but so that there was a where there was a period of time that he was? He was on his diet pills that he would just micromanage my life, because he'd be up for fucking, like he'd, be up at five in the morning on. How do I fix Bart? You know- and I think I think he's a lot more. I think he's I think, I'm the panic child, because I don't have like a set path.
Or destination. I think he looked at me in his upon. If you'll know ready use, do not.
not now run our not yet, though, all
Everything he says is from my perspective. I think he had. He worried about burt a lot that burt was on on a path, but would the path ever pay off or would the path lead me down a destructive life
alright and a very unfamiliar path to him completely out of his control. Like he couldn't offer advice, that's right. Couldn't help couldn't save couldn't do anything is what tweak them out. It was a combination of the time I shaved my head and I I shaved the sides on that blue couch and I shit. Do you remember where you were in the house? Then I was home. I remember I, it was spring break and I decided I wanted to cut my hair and I thought I'd trim it up, but I did not put the clippers on and I shaved bald on the sides and basically gave myself a mohawk and it looked good I thought
good and then we went to spring break. We went and partied like in highschool, not partied, but you know hung out, and then I came home and I passed on the couch and him a mom came in and he saw my hair and he started shouting I'll. Never forget the look on his face when he started shouting what the fuck, what the fuck is a shed fucking
get me and I are double your what's. The matter goes the federal authorities
go my hair. I thought I was on fire like those moments. Were you
It was a laugh, but he wouldn't load up the clothes. I thought I was on fire. He was like other. He just looked at me like
like obviously it had a smile on his face, but he would lows of the smile. Oh, I must have driven the fuck. Do you remember the times I took the boat out and just fucking totaled it, which bet remember the the the the no
No, the tidal wave, the member the flash when the three of us go out now imagine dives we're like drifting graduate
For example, the anchor employer selves ourselves in
We need a drought it in their bleeding newton. Do a thing like who didn't do us any any? I would add the folding chair. This is back when this is back when any was really
the dead. This is backward, any was a big fan of fish and the grateful dead and widespread panic. And
It was a different annie. It was a kind of any that would skip school to go meet the queen. Do you remember that you remember
eric come on? Did you lose the queen yeah any she doing in temper? She was parking her. She was online soothe on a boat,
The queen of england, queen clinically Elizabeth, she came to tamper.
His eyes were not needed, so my friend and I went with path. She didn't meet the quaint,
it was packed and then she bumped into one of her mom's friends. Let's get our verbs right here, we didn't meet the queen went and saw no. We saw her and got it
alright, or am I leaving out any good stories micro there. Any more questions you'd like to ask this is by the way a birthday podcast. I turned forty wanted actually said this at the very beginning turned forty one today today pretty sure why have been drinking
probably I don't that's the one thing about me: atlanta ghosts you don't inner sound drunk? No, no, I always on sober, but it's my birthday, NATO. Yes, I do
Well, guess I do know you don't I do. I can tell you if I took a xanax keyblade high, schoolers you're doing heroin, that's what well not slamming it was slamming. It meant shoot intravenous. Well, they just smoking, it yeah, it's horrible, yeah yeah, it's called chasing the dragon. My grow, the fuck up, really, yes, critic! Yeah, you put heroin on a piece of tin, foil, yeah,
it's probably probably where I learned what happens it moves you put it on a piece of tinfoil and you light it and, as you light it, it kind of rolls down and burns and it's smoke comes up and you inhale the smoke you inhale. The smoke spell it out, while my god that's going to smell, know it's not going to be bad. It's a benihana, fart butter, how much the girls love benihana at night, they loved it.
Yes. Yes, I think that the most ilo has ever eaten in volume at any given meal in her entire life. Right, no joke she ate everything.
George was like blown away just staring at him. Yeah, that's our next! That's our new go to place. I think it is it's it's so much fun. The only problem is I sweat profusely you gotta, dress, lighter you gotta, wear flip flops yeah, I was like it's dress up place. Pentagon does not address a place not anymore. No, it's extremely applebee's is kind of rare
lobster is a little bit. It is really a little bit yeah. It's got. A very the river lobster know is that you know it's not cheap, but it's a lot of food for what you get for twelve people it was.
Like my me oval my there was only sixteen bugs really yeah my new romeo willing, almost forty
Sixteen would you get to? Pin salad
the supreme mri surprise?
Did you feel
That's all right said, rose the browser. I said I would hope it wouldn't be surprised that would be scary,
However, I do it.
I like disgusting, it was fun yeah, it was really good. It was a good birthday yeah. I didn't write my goals, though you gotta do that you can't break that tradition. We still have to I've had to push it to.
I stay a couple of times every year on your birthday, you might have your revenue goals yeah and he achieves them. It's really kind of uncanny because I'll read them.
And then a year later, I'll sometime in the past a couple of times, I've read them again and I'm like I'm like you've, you did every single one of the every single one. That's awesome everyone. What did you? What were your goals last year? Sitcom
a book basis. I just totally where all your goals area here, I'd they're all things I wanted, but but I knew were like in the world, could be in the works that I knew that if I kind of focused I could get them and
and yeah I wanted. I wanted to stay working at travel. I stood like, as all things are, I wanted, and I guessed once you put it in a leanne's one that started this whole trend started, but you started the trend of like of like saying it out loud manifesting it. As we talked about this, the other night, the I I started telling people probably like what two years ago that I wanted a four camera sitcom that shot at us at Radford, CBS, I've been telling people that, like yeah, that's the one right there ride a bike. I was like. I I've been telling just saying it out loud. What would like people say? Well, so what do you want to do in this business lot of times? People say that that they say it.
in this business and they really are kind of feeling you out to go like like. How can I help you they're, not saying that but like to wait? Where do you see yourself in five years, while a lot of people, just very modestly, say- and
Well, I dunno I'd like to be. You know doing a little better and- and you know happily, you know they don't really put it out. There tell them exactly we want and if they can give it to you, they'd give it to you. I think
leads one that brought that you brought that up a long time ago. You're, like, I would say something like yeah, but I don't wanna say that sick note, you say it out loud and manifest your destiny and I started telling people. Probably two years ago I was like out like she was like. I realized. I wanted a sitcom of four cameras. Sitcom that shot at CBS rat,
It's real close here, a lotta studio that lot beautiful it's a bike right away,
and I want do for him to come and it and manifested, I think so.
You know? I don't know why I put that was on the goals, the book,
the the movie, the sheriff
I hold on. There's also goes
it also goals. I haven't that I haven't achieved like the one I always put on that I've never been able to achieve a compound. You wanted to buy I've seen that waiting for a compound. My whole fucking life that to go on this year's. No, I manifested it the other day telling george
are not georgia. Our kid, but our neighbour, if you want to sell, let me know and I'll compound out this block
about georgia's lot by georgia's lot. Does what was it for parliament's three three apartments by those three apartments compound out the block like just cornered off big walls?
just own. All that pool in the center pool in the centre of just fuckin cash it like right
was in right where our driveway is right. Now we got his parking grudging back. How grew that be.
It'd, be nice. If you'd, let him know you want it put it on the list. If you didn't know you wanted he's, never going to give it to you.
I want to tell him. I told her why I did not say this to him, but I want to say to him tell me the price you want and I'll pay for it. What's that it would be like a strip mall of housing. Yes,
Your friends? No georgian ilo have an apartment.
have the report, one apartment for the dog and then the house yeah, and we got the man cave pool in the center. How great would that be? It'd be great. If bought a house in big bear. Can I have that yogurt? You just put it out there. Let's go around the manifest: let's go around the room,
and matter of fact, let's play this game Annie and manifest our destiny. You say what you want and let's see, if you get it all right. Let's start with Liam our house in big bear. Okay. Liam was also a big bear kati in the microphone in the microphone. I just figured out that my goals are like brush.
teeth. Take the stairs liner, just like don't be lazy piece of shit to Siberia.
Major water.
Ease up on bread, very simple glove,
the chief of achieve. Are you saved right?
stay pizza this week, with a shower on weekends, got that gun.
So when a work on those who are good, the major I'm due in pretty good right now, just got engaged yeah, I'm doing good.
we're going to fox. Can you tell the TIM Jews story or wait? Can I do is that it yeah the dvd? Can I tell, can I tell us what can I just tell it the way? I tell it because it's better the way I told him sure cause. I don't I'm not married to detail cause, it's not my story and you tell it so it's that's the beautiful thing when you're, not it's not your story, you'll care about
fucking details. He just tell us what you tell it to that you care about the details when it so shut up. Leon cares about the details so much. She bore the fuck out of a story. I am not boring
and I know I'm not saying you're, not boring, save I'm not saying you're boring, I'm saying your store is are not boring all right. Do you want to tell the whitney houston story and see who's got the better story? I don't I didn't say I had a better story than yours, but my story is not bore. Here's the difference.
I don't know it's there, it's not very free. They say that. I I don't care about details. I just simply hide important details to me. The story better. Ok, that fair, you had important right.
So like you everyone further, when you feel sorry for no known
What are whitney houston story idle, say it's whitney houston.
when Liane realized it was when he used him. I wait till the end of the story because it allows later
reveal later, because I know that at the end it's a big pop liane is very married to the truth and she goes when we
in the waiting room, and I went oceans, whitney Houston right.
Yeah, that's the way to being reveal is that she came back there and talk to us globalism,
revealed with his nature, was it is bigger? Okay, so cati gets a job at fox. First I'll tell you what let's have some of this. You tell me where I stray from the truth and I'll tell you how the story shall be told her
very first day. You can always happen. Look coming from
Thirty days like three weeks, maybe I'll get three weeks three weeks, but you know what, in a story pause, that's very close to the very first day use
others first day feelings, you don't know anyone your brain,
into your email address. You don't know what to do. You have to go to your boss and it's went and told me when I steer away from the truth. It's the day that dvds, that
energy are being released, everyone
what is more, I always tell you like tat order. Dvds for shows so a nurse.
And came out, I would order like a hundred other system
It wasn't screamers now they weren't screener, so I was replying to have. We look. Ok! No! No! No soap!
The way I tell it? I remember being screenwriters and I thought that you were in charge of screening cause here's another.
my brain works screens are more important like skin into something that is kind of like a hollywood secret.
Oh sorry, exactly
I'll be ok. So we'll go to your story here. Ok right, even
on that one of the boys gods either, so
both
now and then wait I'll your way are safeguarded,
Burn, dvds were everyone now whenever the buccaneers.
Wherever are indeed be these and people want more of them and I can't buy into the mighty like you can go to the gifts.
hold on hold on now. That's where we differ also now hold on kadi get all these emails, and I have to reply to them saying, unfortunately, we can't buy them for you, but if you'd like to purchase them, this is how you do it. Please shut the fuck up where I thought you went to your boss time to hang on. I thought I see TIM, it's a big tim till they're, really really so. Kati went to her boss and said I'm getting all these emails. What I do- and he goes oh just tell him- is this right. He goes just tell him to go to TIM juice, studios now, you're monitoring, I yeah well pretty much. I figured out he'd go to. I started drafting these emails and I thought: hey killed fourteen birds with one stone,
I was gonna copying based so copyrights and a letter if I start banging amount before lunch and just a similar about two hundred bow wow, that's got to be kidding,
guarantee examined, but prior notice.
Those who are married to
the little party colleague, it's her first row boy by arguments as well.
If there's only one, that's what the first would say that everyone know like the first. Six are like great thanks for the info: perfect excel excel and I'm like. Oh nothing, then one check writes back there's only one question mark I was like huh yeah scroll down and auto corrected changed tom to the food. If you're looking for design in like a capital, t h e capital, J e w,
While the jew at the shooting store has already raised me hope here, but the jewel in the gentiles hang up buggy pajamas stories,
But why are you not socks? Is I've been seeing TIM dues it's over? It's better terms do but
it doesn't sound real to me, so I would never use it. Tom do at the studio store. Is that what it is, the studio store? Wait did he ever did you ever talked to? I talked him out of the time and bring it up. He has no idea now, if you
help please contact the jew in the studious freaked out really yeah, and I remember one woman who still works. There now came out of her office and she owners though she was like crying. She was laughing so hard. I can't imagine the new girl one day on the job or three weeks: synthetic
Well, don't forget to other people from seven or seven urban. Look, I'm not married the details. I'm married to the interesting part of the story it's like when we were kids and he would never get this. I fucking so angry. I'm talking to we just moved.
Your neighborhood and I lied to the kids and told them. I won the punt pass and kick contest at buck stadium and- and he just comes up right behind me- goes, that's not true. I won't let him play football and I go. I go. Hey I'm trying to make friends for both of us right now
Fuck me up! Ok, it's in there! You are only by abolishing similar issues about paragraph five.
he doesn't it
how can I download revive lucky rabbits foot? I do have a local rosewood artist book. Yes, I wore them everywhere.
Inside of o c. Do all right. That's that's gonna be in our right yeah,
That's an hour an hour and seven or eight
yes of anything. Your blog now
any is single and have any single. If you want to date, her go email her at now.
No,
mine mo she's on facebook centre for no glass with a message Jesus who they could get around
What do what do it?
there are few any crashers other are yeah interesting. Are they really I'm hoping you the prettiest one? Oh yeah,
Oh you know it sent him all the anti crisis kay.
Or as well. You know how to spell it: you're friend of the podcast I'm going to post this I'm going to post this tomorrow. My birthday was tonight. Thank you guys so much for, if you guys could have one birthday wish to give to me that you hope happens. For me,
year. What would it be? Let's go around the room. Wait. Did we finish our our manifest the dream? No mike mike MIKE? What was your manifest dream? I didn't I didn't say wine, but but I'm getting married next year. So let me just focus everything on that that turns out. I was like that's gonna happen, it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. It's a lock and I think we already started paint putting deposits. Tell us shit. I think it's going. Gonna happen spent yeah. So that's your focus. Is the marriage? That's my focus. Alright zay manifest the dream.
A house in why I skipped a lotta goals which way to leapfrog. It would be nice if it were like red attainable within a year. You never know
I never knew I ever when I was little company
another
That is how the eiffel tower
a bomb scare albacore, the bob scare
house and wiser
roma, hawaiian, lesters and I know you're there. She is single
I know that you can say it was her own house because they doesn't need to be her house, her house and single there's. A lot about. Kelp knows a lot about kelp lions for hawaiians. Very good with t shirt sales until payment pip, the
the murder machine shirts for those of you who are older, murat machine shirt, Annie and land are the ones packing. So if you want a special note,
any or the m true, but what it meant.
I will wrap it up now. If you guys could wish one thing for me to manifest this year. What would it be we'll go backwards? I will start with an I notice that he's going to be last, but the way we call her zay Annie is a. I just didn't want him to get lost. I would manifest for you and more time at home.
okay. He took mine, he took line, we were all going to say. Is everyone really say that I was really going to say that you are gone so much and you get so grounded when your home ruin is so good for you like for you, for your physical, emotional, healthier. So when you're here for like ten days straight you're such a different guy for you not not for anybody did, did anyone in this room ever think that I would actually worked as much? I did not yes with any cady. Just said yes, yes, you really thought I'd worked as like meaning like they'd, be this.
work, obsessed, not say like I, you know what I mean. I thought you'd be you'd, be successful. No, no! I'm not no, I'm not saying that. I'm saying like just like being that I just am gone like I'm obsessed with work.
Did you see that my person alex? I think everyone that knows me is shocked. I actually have a job now. Well, I don't feel that I I always be successful. I just had no idea you would be like a book, a sitcom, a travel channel, t shirt, company podcast stand up, there's all this stuff all at one time. I never expected that, but I'm happy for it, but but I'd never thought you'd be able to juggle that many balls at one time or diva driver was a huge fan of years.
Really yeah he was like. Are you related to bert? I was like shut up, or you told me that what I kept wondering, though, are podcasts. I think I'm obsessed with his podcast. I was like no way really bad things live live, I didn't know was out there that much, oh yeah, there's a lot of people, there's a
Nobody knows you ll find out annie. I know many people out. There is a new episode once a week. You never knew how absurd once we have thirty or forty years also be this forty. I think this is forty, seven and then and then yeah and where there's big news on this package come now. I think, and probably like two weeks away to their release it.
I was say about it, but a big changes in the podcast gasped and
yeah yeah, and I never saw myself working this much. I thought it'd be the dude. I don't know. What's so funny. I used to get anxiety when I had like an audition the next day, as I can't imagine these people that work.
What time now have like a meeting or an audition or any am and got an audition in fucking years, but like a general meeting or something, and I just go all just folded into the thing like lingers and our art. This is what our week looks like and I'm- and I literally said today, I'm working every single day, I'm working every single day from fucking eight in the morning till five at night, and I never thought I'd see that I am not I'm so not not that person I'm the kind of person that expects a birthday party at the end of the day. I expect it, I feel like a burner without any work. It's called monday for me inspect a birthday party on Monday.
no nine to sex he's like I work eight to five five days a week. Oh that's just that's! Just in l a while my days off here when he's on your days off with travel must be longer. Other beasts are in the eighteen hour days earlier. But it's not it's not a beast.
Rephrase that for anyone that is going, oh cry me a river fucking awesome. It literally is the best job in the world, but it is alliance fasting which it's long, because it is work, but it is, and you come home completely spam- yeah, it's wonderful while you're there. I can't even imagine what amazing experiences well you'll find out in january when the girls have overnights with the with earth my sisters, and so let's get this straight mike's plugging the web
cod is plugging the wedding and he's got a single relationships is looking to get rid of any crises on facebook.
very easy. Ladies and gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen,
If you're looking for her gotta my facebook, she is my sister just a look,
Listen! Here's! The deal tag me in that message and I will be the the curator of who, I think is cool, or this could be fun. This could be a lot of fun. I wish I'd gotten you a
harmony you're. So this everyone works on everyone we were on. Entrepreneurship has any harmony, everyone all fuckin drug, largely about. What's jade eight tender tender tender, tender, jade aids for tenders like any, very em, but you can only title- was another if you both like the same pictures.
of each other each other. Ah, you know what I did so you are forest christian mingle farmers only
we do not have farmers that they do not they toddy. They do not have farmers only zone where any like
Is it just forget? Farmers ever worked on a farm when no therein like these days?
oh, wait! Wait. You mean people into farm culture, not just rate of dude farmers like like your grand
after, like here we go. Oh shit, it's hers, skim! Let me meet him up like the yeah. You should see it, you should check out the site- farmers.
Only farmers only will we're losing leanne. Alright, I gotta go. I gotta go to I'm so tired. I love you guys too me too. Thank you. Thank you very much. I I earned my party. Did you bring it full circle? You know who I wish. I could set you up with PETE holmes, not right seriously. That's not right for any he's, not right for any. Oh, my god, no they're, not a good fit. Alright! Alright, I love you guys. I talked to guys later alright, bye, bye, wait hold on, let's sing a song. What
This is an edit right now my family is singing me happy birthday, which I do not have the rights to and do not want to be sued for, and they are extremely litigious so enjoy that at it hold on hold on hold on stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! Stop! You don't have the rights
No, no, so what they tried to do sing me have birthday.
This is an edit right now because I only get sued. So I would like you guys all to sing me happy birthday in your own phrasing.
and your own beats are causing the words happy birthday, reviews happy birthday. We can't go, you know,
I have a
You have so you have to sing.
We would sing a verse ready, go happy. Bird sing me happy birthday example: yeah yeah, like
happy birthday per year, I've ever brother an early hour ago, you,
my bread of the hopefully the only wu, but I don't blame you
all right. I lose you like that. So there's always
yeah da da Da Da. So true, I look up to you every day. How do I do this or that you are so hot? So true,
there's nobody saw the time sorted out of your sisters running right now, look
yeah, something like that. So go eddie go ready! Three! Two one like I can't watch it on the spot, like that. Can't say that
If you have a birthday you just can't say you turned it and the lyrics rock. On the run, I really don't know rock on now. I can't breathe yeah.
then I hope we do get seven billion over. You haven't
You know what you mean
yeah, you think matter will be laughing right, though dealing you, it will be like I don't get it
I don't get it off
ooh yeah
yeah! There's one raby here illegally!
you now have to be added,
the gradual, the two that's
I got it. I dropped the gas why I was not so much as using the finger birthday you. Oh it's a johnny birthday that you have to pay someone a fee to sing.
That, though, is how you think our museums come martin in
we have you watch tv you'll see that everywhere, anytime owens has aids.
margin and it's public domain so like the first only song, that's probably the right. Well, there's a lot of songs other than that are. But if you watch the first three episodes the trap lip we have, I would say it's because the patrick was like
Why
my own fault,
sorry everyone. This is, I am past comprehensible, comprehensible company. Let's just go: wait till you have a song stuck in your head. You can't sing it an accident on a podcast, no edo, to fully know when I, so I don't realize I do this, but I will I whistle songs all the time dad. Does it to a whistle.
songs all the time and I have a mic on and what will be in the middle of shooting a scene and I'll be whistling not knowing I'm whistling and John sayles. My sound guy for the last fucking for three years has will always go burt burt and after the pink floyd cause I'll, be
like welcome to the machine, probably just whistling it. I can't do it now cause it's probably public domain, but like er, it's not but I'll, be whistling it all. The time and he'll be like an of the song we get. It are like katy perry's, roar like after I left. When the last trip I was whistling at non fucking stop and sales is just like burt enough that you gotta stop whistling, because I will just be like they'll all be talking to an expert and I'll just be in the corner. With
in itself and like just think, whistling a song, those of and he doesn't want yet knees like that. Katy perry's, roared and, like you can hear that needs a gap.
So you know microphone aright letter and this part,
Ashley and the ability to plug know nothing to plug murdered out machine shirts, limited edition, limited edition. I think we've sold over half of it sounds good to me so cuts MIKE. What about unkind? Can I plug your book? Yes, you can, which is
life of the party available berber, bert dot com like we, don't really have a a one domain that we go to just go to berber Berta com pick the domain you want to go to. We got them all up there
Finally, you want to buy the book you buy it there you did. I could give anyone. How can you give? You could have that's the point
Are you here? You got me shipping, the man he saw you buy them.
I just grab one. I think the point is: if you buy them like in the preorder, then it becomes like a best seller. The point is everyone listening yeah, please do me a favor tell your friends. If you buy them and preorder, it really helps the book. So I'll be talking about this for the next fucking seven months, my two did: did he really? He did you serious about tape?
looks can't wait to read em. I bet they're funny read the same books you to go, read them on both sides of the bed to see if they're any different, hi. Still there on this one, the poor, daddy it'll, take him two years:
Oh that's really sweet. I didn't know that. Well, yeah, please pre order. The book live with parties of berber or dicom it all preorders really helped sell the book and it is a big deal. I'm sure I'll talk this ad nauseum. When I have an author on and we'll talk about, pre sales and whatnot zay, anything to plug other than you or your facebook.
Proper she's in a single relationship and looking to get out of it that are like that yeah. I saw that she isn't a single relationship and looking to get out of it, though it was pretty brilliant. Alright, I love you guys all my
like what.
This episode is brought to you by the machine.
Transcript generated on 2023-07-25.