I sit down with comedian, Che Durena to talk about Rachel Dolezal’s cameo, Andre the Giant, his scuba diving career, being homeless, his TikTok blowing up, and much more!
Follow Che
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chedurena
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chedurena
This episode is brought to you by Helix. Get up to $200 off all mattress orders and 2 free pillows at http://www.helixsleep.com/bert
This episode is also brought to you by Mad Rabbit Tattoo. Go to http://www.madrabbit.com/bertcast and use the promo code “BERTCAST” for 25% off.
This episode is also brought to you by Liquid Death. Get 20% off your first Liquid Death apparel purchase available exclusively at http://www.LiquidDeath.com/BERT
This episode is brought to you by Manscaped. Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code BERT at http://www.Manscaped.com
This episode is also brought to you by Miller High Life. Go to http://www.MillerHighLife.com/BERT to find Miller High Life near you. Celebrate Responsibly. 2023 Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
This episode is brought to you by Groove Life. Go to http://www.groovelife.com/bert for 20% off your order.
SUBSCRIBE so you never miss a video https://bit.ly/3DC1ICg
For all TOUR DATES: http://www.bertbertbert.com
For Fully Loaded: https://fullyloadedfestival.com/
Get your tickets for the TOPS OFF WORLD TOUR at bertbertbert.com
Sign up for the FULLY LOADED AT SEA waitlist at fullyloadedatsea.com
For Something's Burning: https://bertyboyproductions.com/somethings-burning-season-1
For Merch: https://store.bertbertbert.com/
Follow Me!
Twitter: http://www.Twitter.com/bertkreischer
Facebook: http://www.Facebook.com/BertKreischer
Instagram: http://www.Instagram.com/bertkreischer
YouTube: http://www.YouTube.com/user/Akreischer
TikTok: http://www.TikTok.com/@bertkreischer
Text Me: https://my.community.com/bertkreischer
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
With you a cellular, it's just twenty nine, ninety nine per line for one two or three lines, so you don't need that robot daughter, you built to get a fourth line for family glamorizing, robe, loser, Beth she's, not gonna. Like that, the road I sent the they'll get the low rate of twenty nine. Ninety nine per lie. We were cellular built for us terms applied. Does it? U s: cellular dot, com, pretty death, we value human connection with fever. Distractions cellular built for us visit your? U s! Cellular authorized agent located in eighteen. Fifty two decorator pike in athens, its incidentally
p, p, a city any any seamen, their national association of african american of after
You don't know, then, in tbilisi, peace? That's! No! I don't
not in canada is. If I tell you now tell canada, canada, where canada, let me guess, I guess I'm a guess what I know you're, not from yeah calgary enough from counting on amendments and no
not from anywhere that centre shoe you you're, either from I'm guessing terms
I'm guessing either
vancouver toronto or montreal, not from montreal, because I don't hear that weird, the chemical accent yeah yeah, so you're, either from toronto or vancouver, I'm gonna. Guess
I'm gonna get toronto. You I'm from vancouver, loathing hoover area. You know you know, I didn't say I goober. Why is because of drake? Oh yeah,
cause of drake k. I lived in toronto for a long time that I lived in toronto for like eight years so funny. Now that you say that I totally hear canadian accent, yeah yeah, it sneaks out a little introduced me to you. When you came up on our bus yeah, we were watching your videos on our bus. It might have been mark. Smalls is more small, yeah cause, I was dave williamson. Ah I
I don't think I've done silva dave. I honestly haven't done so with mark either, but I've done so for the friday beer skies and then they work with mark and then that's kind of like the tether between from me to you. Yay yay
is that you get your videos are so fucking fun. Thank you, man. Things are so fuckin funny and they're so good. I I didn't even start doing that instill the until the pandemic started like I was. I was doing stand up a I start doing sounded like twenty fourteen and then just
like grinding sound of grinding stanhope, then I started working for you to channel the you do channel did like top ten list and reaction stuff, and so I started doing that with them and then pandemic happened in tik. Tok was blowing up.
buddy would like all stand up was shut down special in canada, Zella, where you were still living in camps still living can at this time
and so well
body whose do and tiktok stuff- and we did a weekend in a city outside of toronto. That was still doing shows, and so
I saw how much reach he was getting with his take talks and I was like men. I would have to do like four.
he shows at this little venue in order to get the same on reach, so I was
like. Why don't I just start cranking out these tech talks and then I just started doing that. Taking kind of what I learned from you working for the youtube channel into my own content and just like started hammering it like
was posting like six times a day every day for, like a year by real yeah, I was on it like crazy, like I still am on it, created, creates the backbone of what I do, but when I first
started. I was like spending an hour day, making content and then like an hour or two a day like researching how to make the content, and that was I
the whole process, absorbing sweet kid helsinki, paupers
picked up by his. I follow you on instagram. I don't even follow you on tiktok, so in my instagram and tiktok there's so might tiktok is more me reacting to like anything where MR graham's to ignorance like stingray, at it's center
I wanted to send you videos, oh dear here, you wicked there's one there's one
and I'm a I'm going to sit here, I'm gonna send it to hall cinema ascendancy right now. I love it love a good teddy vid dude. I I do too
What am I know my wife's listening to this right now, but I do too, I sent one. We are talking about hr violations cause we, you know we're. Obviously a company
Yes, you gotta watch. I am, and these are
my reading glasses by the way when you have a lot of women working for you as well,
as I only fucking women, it's like you, you go be you can't. We just send ditties around in the group chairs similar norka halls asked them. How do I know this? Is a
one is almost said this you know it.
I see that today halston. How do I send you share too? I got it. Buddy boy productions.
oh I'll. Do it just think it dear good call a wondering a
I just heard the horseman, so we so
so. What was your? What was one of the ones for you that kind of changed the game, and we would have to go so deep onto this for hours. How many followers do you have on tech to I've? Seven point: eight million. I think I ticked off the face of my checkbox being cook in and it's been like. That's been. What able that has helped me like, sell tickets and everything to do that. True fear. I saw that video yeah. I done that ride. Oh yeah, you haven't done it on that ride. You'd have done so many things
things in my life that
as I wasn't it was. Ultimately, I did
adventures of a lifetime the hour of fuckin nine years
problems. Have yes and have done so much shit, that is, I would love to have people come, and I remember thinking
this could be so much better, but and then, when I was your stuff,
I commend you that you ve done
let em into like, like just like you got it.
you're. So good at like saying that
I'm thinking and then commenting on the thing, I'm thinking and
and dialing into that. I think what I've always wanted to do. What I'm making the content is like you?
will be very honest about my reaction to it, like honesty is something I really try to stick to in all my content and then try to write a minimum of like three or four jokes, and everything like like make sure you're, like I'm working the comedic side, but also saying very truthful to what it is and am not trying to say like what I do is like really hetty content or anything like it's pretty low brow, humor, but that's the stuff I enjoy yeah. I like low brow, ridiculous shit. I do that it's it's my bread and butter
take a look at this one. I so immediately immediately by the way this a cooking video love. It is a cooking video where it is aggressive.
Nipple yeah, you could see when you can see the outline of the aerial or through the shirt you know, but you know you're of there's so much. I love about this video. I go yes,
or put the shrimp on the barbie yeah. That's what I'm here for yeah. I know exactly where there's so many of these videos, especially with the birth of tick tock, where it's like she's doing,
country or she's doing whatever, but it's like we note the backbone is here and it all who usually feeds, backed and only fence, which is like only fans, is given like a direct thing from being here.
To making money. You can like there's a direct line to. I wonder you know so funny I I
I was thinking about you this morning, so I went to a went out to breakfast with a couple of tik tok stars. Then
and of and I was talking about the business and I can't you see, I'm industry,
actually the
rudderless nest they had about what they were doing next year or where they were going, and it's so funny because I dont do
don't make anything is funny, as you do on on social media shit that thank you like sincerely made us in the bud.
laughed so much so my
that like you'll, be scrolling through and you'll, hear some in the bud
next or latin, and they would
obscenity right now and then some, but it's
thing is that you have a game plan. Yeah you're the game plan
for this and ass the part of
I think a lot of the only fans ladys don't really have a game plan. I
I think for me the whole thing from day one has always been stand up like I started doing stand of the owner as I make instagram content. All the stuff is because of stand up, and so
Knowing that always has a it gives you because you guidance I get like. I know. If I get offered to do this thing or that thing like someone,
for me recently they're like oh, do you want to do like a weed brand and I was like I don't really smoke weed and it doesn't really feedback weed. I smoke weed
it way more of a drinker I drink. Oh fuckin drive your trick, yeah, damn it. I wish. You had told me, we'd be drinking right. Now we can have a fucking drink yeah, I'm totally going to cut you like whiskey, I'll, do a like! Hey! I do like have you ever had a hang up? Have you ever had an aperol, spritz yeah? Of course,
oh I love an aperol. Spritz is great. He is summoned downstairs listening to me. Can you grab us
to I enough. We have proof
echo down there, but if we can to a prosperous
two whiskeys dead now at a great rate, drink to start the day to re drink, to start that, I'm starting my tour tonight
midnight I we are a fight, so technically I'm onto right now, that's it! Yes, oh you gotta start drank it. Yeah fuck you
No, that's, ok, I'm not much of a week. I either see so why I've always had bad paranoia with guido. Had some really bad experiences. Do not look like someone that would ever have thanks
the apparent or some way I ve managed a lot over the years like I've. I've had like really heavy mushroom trips. That of really helped me like work through my insecurities and stuff, like solo tripping in and good
into terms with x x, keep on with, where my fears and all these things come from, and it's like the baggage that your parents,
if you that's not yours and out, and how to let go of these things. But how do you realize? How do we find out? The bare baggage apparent gave us some deal,
so me personally, I just did a bunch of mushrooms by myself. I literally did like six grams of mushrooms and I had
This wild mushroom trip, where I felt like my
body was sleeping, but my brain was awake and it was a time in my life, where I was only sleeping like four four hours a night I was like streaming on twitch I was doing standup I was working. I was brand new to toronto. Like I was grinding, my ass into dust- and I felt
My body was showing me the mushrooms or show me what my body does when I sleep and it's like. Oh, like my ears, were clearing. My sinuses were cleaned like you need to heal. This is why you have to sleep and then,
After that I had this whole thing where I was like
hugging myself and looking in the mere in saying I love you and pulling out all these things that, like my parents, said to me that
experiences. I had that made me feel insecure about myself. Made me feel stupid made me feel like
then mate, like I have that inner voice. That is constantly doubting yourself. Do you feel like do you feel, like you, have a I'm, not a musher? If this is the right thing, it's I think it's called generational trauma, meaning like I. I once wondered
if because my grandfather storm the beaches of normandy, that anxiety all that shit. That happened to him. The ptsd yeah hit my dad a little bit and then it hit me.
and then I wonder, if, like a person of color in canada,
other trawlers, pretty fuckin if Canada, my
the experience again as much safer and nicer than what was going on over goin on here very bad, but there still units
with a camera berwin of fuckin mozilla, one time it was like
says Mary. Due to those of racism in this microbes miller, racism, like you guys, do you just
focus on it. We don't have it everyone's the same here and then she got out and he was like they're racist as fuck
and I was like really and he goes yeah yeah and he just explained racism to you as opposed to letting me explain it so there yeah, but, like I wonder, do you think what was your trauma with your parents? Do you think
my parents were just kind of like a crumbling marriage for a long time and there is a huge amount attention between them. There is financial tension there
I like
a whole bunch, other shit going on and
The arab was that
well, no, but I'm the I'm the youngest of four, but I'm the only that my parents had together so of my sister on my mom's side was
there since I was born, but she's also nine years older than me, then of a brother and sister, my dad side that are nine and ten years older than me, and they came over different times, so they were montreal and my brother
over a thank you. I appreciate them and thank you
right now, but we haven't you remember his. He might
I dunno. How is aperol spritz is our church thanks for two years, thanks for having me man to canada, oh not bad! That's pretty good, not bad, like that. So.
So, yes, oh, it was,
they were going through a lot and they
and they lashed out at us a lot, and so is like
like my mom, called me stupid and a more on and all sorts of things like. I can't even count how many times like it was an that's like on the lighter and there's a lot of really venomous communication that one on me. My dad worked through that eventually
and like we came a lot closer and me my dad were always a lot closer than my parents got divorced and then we were able to have like a genuine relationship, and so it was
unpacking all these things unpacking that it's like? I always feel
like when you're in a room of people that everyone hates you and like getting taking that away, and it's like that's, not mine, I didn't think of that and it's
not true, and the mushrooms helped me work through that which I don't think, if that's the healthiest first way to tell people to deal with any sort of insecurity, but it it helped me a lot I was yeah. I don't think I don't think that I owe
I always feel like an outsider. Yeah like I always feel like. I feel like everyone knows each other like I. This is the dumbest thing. Is that I'm a I'm going to sound like such a fuckin hollywood phony fuckin bullshit piece of fuck
right now like ours today. Those was like, as I said, is it really
I listened to dead last night, and then I found out John mayer storm with the dead den company or whatever, and I was a catcher meyers calls. Fuck was like us or follow him on instagram, and so I followed him
and then I was like or sea. We follow simply follows any my friend
If I was everything one of my friends but me- and I said that's the story of my life, I said
the story. My life, like I'm, never the guy
never know the coop,
but before anyone else almost the last, and I think that in grade school milk?
but ungrateful like I was always remember, remember
Girls would be like, oh my god,
you'd like a new girl, a walk in, and they like,
be like also though they ve- oh, my god,
those from from vancouver
she just got to town windows.
Rob was someone anybody be sitting in the quarterly greater over area and they make
you know we have said rob with Dave. He is
so great. He is such
great guy and I'd be like, am raise your mother fucker, like I'm right fucking here or that feeling that feeling like. I feel like a lot of people carry this one. You have to come to terms with that. It's not true that these things are true and that he is their their manifest.
In from like insecurities that were brought onto like. I know this stuff is it's not easy to overcome, like I came here today being like albert's gonna hate me, this is going to go bad users. Oh this is that's my inner dialogue. I only made me laugh while I hope I am crazy. I want my only experience with you is making me laugh and that's it and
I but that's just like I I I've learned a cat.
Myself. I love learn to use that as a trigger too, when I have those thoughts, be like no less
go and meditation is a great thing to help you catch those thoughts and to let them go to not bury them cause. But
Why would bury it before? I would have the negative thought industry can ignore
and push it down and a return to rage or sadness or whatever. Now I
in honestly, like take a breath, relax go back at a baseline display just be present. Just be an moment. I witnessed a grown man.
one time, I will not have any names, he got a bad comment from someone and he went after the guy and the guy followed him and gotten
the aims, and he said what he was gonna do to him. The I found him and what he due to his father.
like if then, the gauss famous yet, and the kids like twelve
she showed it to his mom and his mom gotten the dams and by the way, if, if it wasn't his ma
then that troll was aside. I am julius and that's the way I donno m genius. You can't there said there's this thing called the rules of the internet and one of them is don't engage with trolls. If you engage, they went like it doesn't matter
You try to reason or if you are right or like whatever they all the troll wants, is a response, so you just can't can't give them any response. You just need to let it flow
through the I've ike, I say this, and I know this is a horrible things that I appreciate good
rolls yo yo regime, good, there's some theirs.
Controls that are out there like. I did read it
ask me anything there any out it's very monitored, like you, don't see any the bad question yet are put out there
and I know I've never been on red it yet, but there is one
There is one where I was. I just read me all of them only I wanna hear in this our resolve them and there are.
Few. That made me fuckin, laugh out loud that there is a view that was made me laugh out loud and I was like
there was one that guy got me good nose like as they are
replied with a guy. I reply to it and, but me
there is no different
Be there should be like a troll hall of fame? Oh yeah, first
the end there is some that do it publicly, like I think and Andrew
tat all the stuff he did was just role. He was trolling already trolls of our he was. The army was the
ultimate. Troll are a troll people here. The kobe thing
fired on a view he tell he went to then that's the thing with trolls. If you look at all the trolls like you
get some alike, I would take agitate for an example: beer. You you push it push, it push a push it and then you push it too far than he ends up in prison is like already push push it pushes the thing about a troll, as you have to keep,
pushing the envelope to stay relevant and to keep people interested. So you need to know when to pull the rip cord and chain,
direction. Maybe could become a nice guy or take your money and pack it in whatever it is, but a milo. We was another trial miles of fuckin and took a too far you take it to foreign and milder and drove over saying that he said that he,
I don't want it occurs, and ever
milo, but seemed like all. My friends are friends of milo and I'm.
I never really. I'm in my nose knows weird, even because, as I can
where the problem milo off. I don't know about all. I just know what the internet says the idea, but like what
He get in trouble for was technically suddenly
underage sayings.
about underage boys, you so I think they think he was trying to make a difference between like pedophilia and a different type of like under age. Sex thing you any was like saying: one is ok, one is in, but one was still like having sex with like sixteen year olds, and that was, I think, again he's like pushing the un.
It'll be strolling. How do I get a reaction? He took it too far and then it's like then you'd get destroyed,
generous, I mean there's there's like trolling is in all of us yet
Not a comedy somewhat is true.
like you troll when you say like we
you'll you'll, say a statement like I used to say you wanna hear really racist
That's a little bit of a troll yak is now everyone's like what the fuck is. He gonna say yes, and then you have a light, hearted response. Yet in an enemy
but it's a wave grabbing.
a lot of comics troll
The first line is a troll. Yes to get the odds
is to react, and then you told me joke it.
Saying something you don't believe in to get a response at of people? It's like at its core
or it has nothing to do with your values, its all about instigating things with other people, aware of people, look at trolling the way they do like video games like they go. I think I, like the five key people there.
Roll and then they go like they get go home
I get excited they go. I wonder if I got any responses, though yeah I mean I'm good at thanks
you mean you must be online. A lot o ye. I am my algorithm is pretty fucked yet because it's it's watches its watches
you watch that guy who tries to sell, watches you like fuckin in miami no
I don't think he's in miami miami was like hey. Can I come
when you on your eighteen, eighty, three daytona nineteen, oh I've, seen this guy had ass good yeah I've seen the guy who sells, watches who's that there's another jude in he's in new york, and he goes and it's him just like bartering he's. I I'll give you fourteen fifty and there, like. I can't you fourteen fifty
I gotta I gotta- do like eight twelve, like the guy twelve a twelve, and I just like that guy. I think I've seen that they have zero celebrities come into. Ah, I haven't seen with celebrities, but ever watch them LA la while he was just hot. My algorithm for a little bit. My algorithm right now is watches sneakers boat videos, a disgust
and a lot of like surfing, o softball
and soft bomb baseball,
so a lot of watches is all watch is pretty much. I know
I got like I gotta lotta. She died. What's that the
the yeah the cheeks died. Use eat another six dead. No, he died like we week go off
I add you'd, legendary guy men, one of the best of all time is going to argue trawl. Yeah dude, he loved the troll here with that's like a big wrestler thing to assist a fuck with people give
the Andre, the giant store where he took a shit that was so bad that people were gagging and like crying and puking know he was on a plane and he a god. So he
head like a he can't with the door closely. So big unease, also like he's
Andre the giants we would consume. Beer like crazy, was eat like crazy and he they they like pull a sheet of your too big,
close the door that machine made takes a shed on the plane and they can't land the plane. But apparently the shit's
so bad that
we're literally like vomiting, unlike all like their eyes, burned like it, was the a level that be the size of my leg, dude some without stopping target
but under the giant were like the in winning
in japan, that the the toilets were too small from him, so he would like shit in the tub
he would like lay down newspaper and shit in the tub and then like wrap it up and then, ah he would like put in the garbage or tried to like take it down and throw them
trash and one day he was too lazy, so he just went to throw it out of the window d,
and the dump stern. There are some guy town there for accepting the doves earned. It had been knocked about fucking it with that shit up at locking, not lasted half falcon big. He is massive,
Dude he's one of the giant ism guys he had the fuckin pituitary
yeah, yeah, yeah and just make you grow and grow and grow and grow and he's sending with normal big guy
those guys yet those guys you're like a sick, something like two hundred
If you join sixty pounds, he's like whatever like over seven
feet tall like four hundred pounds like lid, a legitimate giant obedience can tags. Oh yeah frustrated some wild stuff going on make it a big deal. Do we ever get like conf confirmation on his dick
the biggest dick was. It gets a regular beard and it doesn't matter how big is dick is because, like even
small dick on him is like a twelve instead yeah, that's true
gertrude you'd hope heat up. If you are lucky to have a small deck yeah, because
you don't want, a big dick it that's all,
Yes, exactly. We ve had a big dick on that body. It would
All you have been born animals
I mean what there's no human being nothing. There would have been enough to fuck a horse and he's tall enough. You make a flashlight out of couch cushions or some things are so he could flock seven floor. Dude make huge mean huge, that's fucking, crazy d
that emits interesting, how much wrestling permeates real life? Yet
it's a it's a it kind of reflects it constantly. I remember I remember I was talking to a comic and he was like he was like
Man I wish I had like a rogan like you have to put me over an area or what
to put you over, you know like in when you put someone over you. Let them you let them win, is what's put type in the term, put put over
I, honourable coty, roads allowed his professional wrestler. Ok, he's vinos all those terms and there's like
when you speak, they do when they're in the ring yeah. So they know how do they know he can do and yeah the act of wrestling losing two and putting someone over refers to letting rabbits.
We like letting letting them when yeah so that they get a fan base and rome would put us over and that he would sheriff
his van based on those be funny yet and that that was a terminals like oh entering the like. No one in new york puts anyone over his back. In the day now
we want puts everyone. Oh yeah, like I feel, like that's a very common thing. You put me over right now, not a hopeful, but hopefully aware of your. I wonder how it
one of my my bans are honest, graham and tiktok,
because I like I get people to think so you have a big answering following,
people who come to me and the like eyes. I saw you the tick tock guy and then I go. Oh you're, not a fan of mine
we know you from taking up. You know me from takes our. I would assume you go what's up bert yeah,
from two bears are no from burke ass, a rogan or or some this burning. Yes,
Roger was the first place. I ever saw you sure it was like you joey ideas. Tom are ie like those were like these, jan of guys that were like coming up with a. We were all that age group that was younger than
Oh, but still like
not contain never taken contemporaries, we're all we're all like use way. Above all of us he's been above all of us for with you
like one of the biggest people in media in entertainment, ever have Joe rogan. Does something that's a national? The headline was like. I don't even know if you want to be that big, that's crazy, big! I wouldn't he la. I don't know if he loves it or picked up. Akerson speak for him, but he it doesn't bother him to get lit up the way he's been lit up, but that doesn't he doesn't get affected by it. Like he's the one that told me you just gotta, you gotta really get offline, you can't you can't be.
Of kazanovitch real and also those. I call it the difference between carrying
a feeling carried like we win. People see something bad abner, someone people feel they have an emotional response. Very few people care which is like you get up and you take.
Action. They do know no stacy, abrams is due by door. I do so do, but I get confused with another
person, she registered eight hundred thousand voters in georgia, but will leading up to the the the trump reelection okay hold on okay, who am I confusing her with I dunno who's? The lady? Is she black? Yes, okay, she fucked up haircut. No
who's about what are you thinking of rachel dollars? Oh no,
miss started about omens, oh by the way, I'm umpteen dolphins, all other. When your team, the third way away, I leave my don't talk about Alice Elaine, what you mean by I've seen dollars all I want to identify his black. I think we should all identifies. Where would you like? I would have liked you like it. We lag. Is it it's the better option? You talk like if we do that story so fucking.
It is a larry nominally insane yeah, the. U go almost
it's almost had. How do you not? Are you not give her a pass? Go, let's see how far you can take this
the movie the movie. They did about that guy who wrote the room and fuck. You saw him. No, no, not so
let everyone laugh right now. That was the point
I've ever said on my podcast. You might
It was me over to drinking on every single one of my pot do not normally drink other the and idol. I do I don't because I'm a fucking lame mo trying to be healthy, but I'm going on tour- and you said your your big dream.
Erin. I always love having a drink on the pike ass. I love it changes and I did a pocket is this is the do not we're? Not? This is were finishing
you're saying ok. Now, how do they do is the biggest drip of upon cast for like an hour? Would you mean drip? Just so
You know I just
I hear nothing going out to sea change is getting anti and is a real drink. Yet and then we got
king wasted, and then it was going to edit out the most.
shame, and I were talking like the most
with a human being, oh and it was so we were latin as shane's a dog gently. I am sleeping friggin fantastic, and it is because of my helix. This mattress, I want to say something: cool and young, like it slaps or at thumps it. It sips it's
thugs, I don't know, is the best air matches ever broader. My entire life
so well on it that I can accept
Did you get in the ever get to a mattress and you go? That's how I feel every time the heel of silence offer twenty unique mattresses,
putting the award winning lux collection, the newly released helix elite collection, a mattress design for big and tall sleepers and even made a mattress just for
kids, everybody's, unique everyone's lives differently. That's why he looks, has several different mattress bottles to choose from each design for specific sleep positions and feel provinces,
I don't sleep quiz as soon as I was matched with my mattress or a soft mattress to sleep on my side. I wanted something soft that I kind of slink slink into
and, and I do move around all night as soon as I got that matters
came to our house and I put them in every single room
cause. I never know where I'm going to sleep either the best mattress I've ever had they're so good. I threw my nephew into it. The other day like we were playing around with him in the mattress and he started to fall asleep.
it's so grape plus I got two very pillows, there's nothing better than more pillars. I want so many pillows. I filling a sultan in my matter,
it's so easy to set up. I set it up quicker than I took to sleep with two minutes. I set up in two minutes. There's a video online. You can find it he'll. Just off
in twenty percent of all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners, go to helix sleep, dot, com, slash pert! This is their best offer yet and it won't last long with helix. Better sleep starts now,
well. I love our next sponsor mad rabbit. Why? Because they still sponsor this podcast, even though I say the word. Tad too, is how you say it. I said to two and I'll: tell you: why cause my daughter's got tattoos my wife's got tattoos and my youngest wants tatoos and you gotta check out mad rabbit. Mad rabbit has come mid to reinventing, to to aftercare, founded with two friends with a passion for ink mad rabbit, create simple, effective and natural products that help improve the healing process and preserve tattoos all delivered direct you to door, here's the thing
my daughters to to ugly got it young. You gotta, take care of it. You gotta, keep it moisturized. My wife's looks horrible, then also me rub my rabbit on it and it looks phenomenal. Plus they've got all these products. You need from your tip for your tattoos, like a tatoo sunscreen, a tatoo, soothing, gel and so many more to to goods you're going to be into to Heaven, I'm being serious. I do not have to do I kind of wanted to to, but if I get it to two on the top of my body, I think,
people look at my tattoo when I perform, and I I and And- and so I I want to get one of my leg or something I want to get all my girls. They want to get one, and I'm telling
right now, my rabbits, the go too. If you have to do so when you think of two to care, think mad rabbit, they ve preserved over one point: five million to twos and right now they ve done exclusive offer. Just for bert casts listeners. If you got a mad rapid dot com, size forecasts and use the promo code, bert guessed, you receive twenty five percent off that twenty five percent off when you had the mad rabbit dot,
com, slash bearcats and use our promo code bert cast when you will you're going to say. Oh, we were talking about dollars all we. If someone needs to do a movie like, I can't remember what the fuck two it was called whenever that movie was where a james franco played the dude who made the design.
Ass gerard as so many to do that kind of movie about rachel dollars all in full trading and see doubly its, incidentally, p, p a super.
any seamen, their national association of african american, no of afghan fuel.
The canadian ban was european endeavour that back my dad's haitian and dogma, thea
You don't know, then, in tbilisi, peace, that's! No! I don't
not in canada is, if I tell you now tell its international association for coloured people
is that really what other people, oh geez, will change that made of tape? The book was, as do I just a minute
That is an aggressive name I'll there, literally the other one that is pretty aggressive, is then
negro college fund the negro college from, but that's like a classic. That's like
we're hold onto an I got. You know so funny I got so I got so.
Well hyper, aware of language at a certain point yeah, you can only say it in the context of the negro league. That's the context you consider negro canal and so, and so I was obsessed with some of the players. There's a great documentary that about baseball or the KEN burns did a man. It is I when I was a kid my favorite player of Satchel Paige in a like. I was a big fan of fucking baseball, like I like all the all these old players that no one knew about. I was a fan of it. I I used to like my wife's listening she's, going to laugh hysterically as a really big tracer, so put thin paper on pictures and then trace pictures of tracing pictures and I've traced, pictures of all these old baseball players and football players, And- and I was my what I do-
Calm down. I had to like up a thing up, a platform that would illuminate so you could put a piece of paper on top of it and then put a light paper on and just tracks, and that just was like your piece. You would just I get goin tracing figurine horses and precious gems. I heard about the figuring horses, obsessive figuring horses.
really that's such a very precious gems too.
Anything any. I still am maleagans now breaking bad when his back certain can't get only sets order.
Well, the rocks and dude I'd rock tumbler for a rock tumbler. When I was a kid yeah, rock tumblers are bad, as you can find. Bullshit rocks put him in a rock tumbler and they shine up and you're. Like I mean I was like I fuckin
of c'est with figuring horse. This is like a different level of nerdy. Like I'm, a big like growing up,
a video game. Guy comic book nerd like that kind of stuff rock tumbling
in figurine horses. I don't even know where to place you. Why don't we didn't our couldn't read like I was a bad reader. I still am a bad reader. I couldn't read was, I remember: they have both their books and they started like started like started like green, then blue, then red then, and then it would get up to like emerald
sapphire. Those are the big books and then you get them first grade and the thing was you read it and
and then you and then, when you read all the greens and you went to read and then you had read all the reds and then you go up man and the first grade. I remember mrs Thompson said so: how are we doing on the books? What color you at some still have green yeah? She was,
Thus, even that's all year you haven't read any. I said I can get through the first one issues I hold on line
you, can't get through as any reader was like just so boring. You're like I can't even push my brain doesn't read my brain. Doesn't allow me to read like this,
exchequer some. I am dyslexic ethic, but but I'm decisive put I and I think, I'm probably way better today,
I was then, but I also have such a vivid.
bizarrely active imagination that, as if I try to sit still and read, my brain disappears and it goes fucking.
Beware: yeah! No, I'm not a great reader, because I just get like kind of two agency. I get bored
really is hard to hook me into a book. I've I've tried to push myself I've kind of switched audio.
Books more cause. It's just like I can do an audiobook and just like go for a walk and then aged eight. He just gets an audiobook or I'll disappear in a really I'm trying to do. Rogan sent me one, but what rogan is interested in is like most mundane shit.
are you gay you doing like a fixture, nonfiction, always loving kid? You fixed, we went on non fictions. I realize
not version so do one of these is call real life or fake. I don't know, I don't know it's such a dumb term here, also nonfiction, it's like wash in it.
Is it the negative? A real life is a negative of this thing. It does make it s about on operating table and there
like alright we're going to give you the regulators, but real quick, which books do you like fiction or non fiction? I will give you the request: yeah, the ones that are real, real, bugs real book. I want to know about teddy Roosevelt see
the thing about fiction or nonfiction
is sometimes amy super dry, we're like nonfiction, yet
real good nonfiction book takes protection as world try nonfiction just to get you.
the hook and recently the problem of my affection is then
lot of older white due to read, write them the so that a lot of it's like I read a book.
Written by an older, why did and halfway through us I caught the indian sounds like dicks gatt, like fucking native americans, were assholes, and I set it to this
the historian and he goes who wrote the book yeah I went. What do you mean? He goes, the problem, nonfiction yeah it gotta find out who wrote the book that was like this guy
and the like. I go his eighty five years old,
Where does he live outside just outside used in their like, ok,
yeah I read it over one. Oh wow, you write a book written by banks at the end of lacy, be yes and delays.
De what how do we get on the result? All is yes, rachel drawings did the documentary on the dublin search. You know she's on fuckin. What's it called cameo unita cameo rachel, those are here
dude. You totally can get a cameo of rachel Zoe saying the edward today Du Da Da saying the n word today for one thousand dollars you'd rather get her to say negro. I think you could get her to say good, I'm getting rachel dolezal to drop in embalmer. Can she can? If anyone can or you think it's her- you think she's, mostly black, but you gotta, you gotta play it soft first,
because if she recognise your account, you go too hard right away, but but
she, my arm saying like if you try to get her say the inward right away.
Then she is right away. Like you just say, that's just say it
Yes, she has different cameos up. You can totally get hurt you you get her to do be white, roquette camera,
I don't want you different races,
asian, always all saying you shop for long time and by your job long time guide,
Damn you should ask. I feel bad for your mother. I'm gonna have a reenact man
society yeah, the the scene? Where were where on don't tell me his name of
dog odin, o dog shoots the
asian. Do that you see minutes nine haven't now it's before my time look I know I wasn't on illiteracy.
I've, never regime as it is such a great fuckin movie. I know it. I know it was amazing. Sweet ok hold on right down haitian.
how? How haitian are you
I mean I'm obsessed with eighty
you have said the lady opodeldoc. Ah, yes, oh my dad was in haiti during papa doc so like,
so a little over ten were making love the fur, and you want me to come back because the I am. I love that that fact
of haiti is so fascinated me its rays, which adela conway I e like so my dad was there during that was at the end of his time. So he here
born. There grew up there and then it was around one ie, eight when he laughed, but there is a few years leading up that where providence had taken over the country
told me he would do things like you would he will come into
place. That, like makes t in bulk, you only make papa doc branded stuff and then
when they sold everything he'll be ok, gimme the profits and they would be like what
what we can keep running back to add and that just like sorta crippling all these businesses and eighty, it's fucking little country, so my dad
and his most of his family had to flee. A lot of them went to chicago new york, him and, ah, all of his immediate family went to montreal
and that's yeah. That was an interesting place from eighty to go to speak rush. Oh yeah mama dummy exactly original bumper concepts of alsace, propeller casa, mondeo ha ha ha ha ha
so when's papa doc. Here's the crazy thing! This is a really interesting story. So a bunch of haitian refugees come in like five of them. Five of them storm the beach in Haiti and they take over
the whole fucking, like a military base, yeah and they're, going to go in and kill papa doc and they and they take them over and and and all
really. What they find is that the people that their taking over kind of empathize with them like they, they sympathise with them like it's, a fucking moods of yet
they get so friendly that one of the guys one of the captives, the passages says,
to run a clanger and go get cigarettes and they're like yeah. That's how comfortable they get cause we're all haitian, yes, the yahoo cigarettes and he's like alright
he's so scared of papa doc that he runs rates, writes probably daughter, goes, they kidnapped us, go, kill them yeah, and then they fucking killed five dudes that all and by the way, that my my numbers are probably definitely off. I would if someone would like to do a side by side factcheck of what I just said. I will retweet it and repost it, because I'm cured
how off I am but like he was a motherfucker someone tried to kill us kid, and then he figured out who he feared.
who only could have been present, whose I got was humming sharpshooters. We have in this country
and then just killed them all yeah like he? He
draw. If it wasn't for him, the country would have been in a completely different situation. The reason I named CHE is because my dad was obsessed with CHE guevara because he overthrew a dictator, no exact
but he was like against any sort of like he was all but the revolution. All about kicking other people like corrupt and take over really, yet
chase a bad ass name to have yeah. I was hoping it was that there's only jay. I know Michael J yankees, while his last seems gentle think he had to pick your last name, don't know what it is and I've never met. Michael, have you ever
Michael, J b in passing, like I, I went on after him at a show at the stand. That's as as close as I've ever been to him. I've never like hung out and talked to him or listen to a game. Pull up or there's a bunch of comedians, I've never met. Okay.
the name. Comedian named a comedian, you've never met and I'll never been a comedian. I never met and then we'll go see. Have you met them
ok. I care comedian, I've. Never
that's true, think of whose papa
the telecoms and all such a raise,
the fact that those seas she spoke and also yeah, yeah, she's, pretty fucking
awesome she used to open for me when she was younger. Oh really,
well yeah she used to open for me, I I'm trying to think of a comedian
Remember, I'm never met jury. Seinfeld. I've never met our santa maria, oh yeah, no, pretend you normally well yet
What starts out over okay until you know him really well and just talk me through okay, okay, yeah I've never met jerry seinfeld, oh yeah, I've met
of real, yet one out of recent. What no he's like you would, the
way. He comes off on some of his things is like really pompous, but it's just because he's so confident in what he does. He knows he's one of the best of all time and he he is he's not overplaying or downplaying he's exactly where he needs to be in coffin
you're the best tv shows of all time, while the best stands well. Time sold some of the most
get some the best comedy he's ever create yet another on vacation with them. Yet we went
yeah. He took me to the bahamas: the bahamas, yeah he's got a summer home there we yeah we went out. We were hanging out the bahamas on the beach and snorkeling and of course, favorite thing is snorkeling. Those are actually used to be a scuba, diving instructor.
Noise
oh
It really used to be as good as you would have instructor. I was there in mexico, I was a scuba diving instructor for three years and spanish unknown
in spanish, the garbage okay, but I cause where I was was very touristy, so I basically just worked with all the english speaking clients. My french was better back then, so I did some tours the french speaking clients. Ah,
and we do like wild shit like we do. The shark dies out there. So there's like bull shark season that comes into play in a hundred bull sharks are motherfuckers.
bull, you motherfuckers just because they can go in fresh water and salt water, so a lot's times lagoon like freshwater rivers and bite people and shallow water on the dives. We like
when I'm cages, anything you just go down and you'll bring like a water bottle were like a piece of metal to make a noise of your work,
a bottle. You like crinkle it. If you have a piece of metal bang it on your tank and they feel the vibrations and they come check it out. He just starts swimming around you like that. You can probably pull four or five sharks, but one time
went down and there was another dive centre that went down. That would feed them, and so they went
and we went close to their group and they're. Just like poland out these like pieces of meat in the shark, sir
like when I say in a frenzy of you, don't feel endanger because the none of them are coming to you, they're all trying to get the food but they're like bomb.
into each other, this twenty sharks, all circling, but after the last piece of food, goes out
goes down from like within the span of about two minutes goes from like
twenty two ten toad like seven, seventy three and then the three last threerd is kind of like circle and waiting around, but
cool shit, and that would happen every winter. The bolsheviks would come back, really yeah schools. While we were wait, sweet how'd, you become an instructor. How certified
you have to be to become instructor, so you need. I don't know if they've changed the rules since when I did it, but you need to do like a hundred dives. I think it is one hundred dives become like a dive master, and then you have to do a bunch more to become an instructor, and then you have to do like these tests. It like, though, like you, do a whole thing of like what doomed this situation what to do and that seemed like dry.
Add bike basically book tests, and then you do a bunch of what in water tasks like. Oh, I like a rescue pole or like you'd their certain things in you do like an emerge.
and see exit to the top- oh yes,
the paddy charter be certified for at least six months done.
yeah haven't had a dive message. Reputation, don't have that least sixty logged dives. Don't don't have that current cpr doll? I do have that. Indeed, medical approval for scuba, diving, em, yes, sweet and there's one thing we went. I went I I've I've dove, maybe ten times, I'm guessing rata, but it's funny. Our instructor was guy names. Then one of our instructors that we, it was kind of when you do it for television all the rules are kind of broken yeah. So one of our instructors, a guy named zen- and we thought he
it's all, but fucking useless did not speak English yeah, oh, oh! No. I live just hand signals that said: do you like that? Okay, so we go down for a german or some asian, I'm doing bombarded accents
It's good to know about it. Accidents because of your good accidents. Users raises yom. Just like
because these sweeteners yeah garrett, barber yeah. So so he went down with my friend cali when we go to forty feet. Guessing I'm guessing it's forty feet in my, but it was. It was dusk and it was really low visibility. So we couldn't see much down there and we just went down to the sand, say twenty feet just to be fair, forty feet, pretty
indeed so. We go down twenty feet and all we have to do is the very end of our certification drop the thing out the amount of air I give her. My I give her my thing. I take my buddy breathe or whatever,
yeah, she forgets to clear the water out of it just reason and reason
what are you have to start choking georgia choking and they start panicking issue goes to grab mine, yeah, my mouth and ah my what the fuck yeah and I'm freaking out and this guy's, then man his teeth
indeed kicked in yeah and he had his in his hand and he just fuckin john homesteader and hit the air
and held her head and held her head and hit the
We aren't new to shooting air in her mouth yeah and she started breathing star, breathing, sarb breathing and he looked and he goes we're going up young almost so we went up and he was like we're done for the day. Yeah. That's it. You have a freak out like that. It's like yeah you're, where we'll try again the answer, but then she said I have to go down right now, because if I don't go down now I'll, never do this again, oh really, and he was like once you have to do it now.
Or I'll. Never do this again yeah and we had a deep dive at ninety feet, the next the ho, and so we go down and she did it again. I did it. We both did it we claim up and we are certification and then our next dive. The next day was at at open up, I guess all open water, but at ninety feet we went to go sightseeing that an iraq yeah, not my favorite, not my favorite depth
what if you could die, but one that was like? What's your favorite dive, you usually like, I would say where the coolest shit was kicking up was like sixty ish feet, cause it's a deeper and deeper. You go the more light you lose. So you stop everything just kind of turns to this blue color. So, even like the coral and everything that's bright and beautiful you're not getting the same vibrance with
at sixty? I would say that we find it like a lot of the cool animals routinely cool turtles. You could find sharks. The shit was
loan or other, at least in mexico, you two different areas: different depths, different things,
ah marriages in fiji fee or beautiful, clear. Why
a dive, india, but I would say-
sixty was a good death. When you could also
stay down longer because the deeper you go, the less you can stay down there. You go like one hundred feet who you got like. I had a ten fifteen minute dive, but will that's what we were supposed to stay around sixty feet and we ended up at and we all ended up at ninety nice, because no one could keep your buoyancy every dropped. Yes, and no
ro at the base of the boat? Yet, and I I really I am sounds like such pussy-
you like this. Would marijuana too, like I enjoy like light edibles like, though
like enjoying light light edibles than going deeper. If I want to yeah but like five milligrams is more than I need
It's that it yeah! Guess you to where you ended. She that's your doubts. You don't need to like there's a weird thing with we.
there's this cycle a huge like ego culture around it words like. Oh, you gotta hit this smoke. The blunt get super.
I like many would never do that that with boots you never be like you'll get so fucked up.
You like, don't know who you are anymore, no cause it's danger, yeah and I feel the same about diving, yeah like when my favorite dives, I've done where it like. I want to say the deepest we went was like fifty feet, yeah and
and it was- but it was all round a reef and so was all like a movie star.
did it like twenty feet and then gradually got to fifty feet, and
for and swam around a reef was like the favorite time of evidence,
beautiful that animals hanging around you see like weird creatures you never seen before. That is like how most speed,
one who enjoy diving the only people that ever more like not thy mentality I dealt with, were russians.
russians were always like. We want to go deep. We want a good deal that didn't you
about what they saw. They wanted to just push the envelope of what you are able to do really yeah the russians loved that shit and then they would go get drunk right immediately after that's crazy. How long have you demonstrated for I
three. I think, though I was in mexico for three years, but I only taught for to the last year I like was a bartender like a well worked in a call centre in shit. Let's move to
dobler yeah. I probably have like eight hundred two thousand dives holy
more than that, reduce joy I enjoyed in a lot of the time. It was a great thing that allowed me to like leave home and travel
experience life outside of the little suburb. I grew up in so that was that was the best part
the job itself was fine. The people hang around. The people like divers, are like a communities. I hang with comics occurrence
everyone's on the same level same problems like a lot of social things you can communicate about, so that was that was the best
about it and the job itself is like fine, it's a very physical job like carrying tanks and doing a lot of stuff I did was in in love with it. It was a means to an end. For me it was really
yeah, I was getting out of my house and travelling in being able to see the world
at the lowest cost possible where mexico housing plato, carmen de la diving,
ozma down to police relativism. We have all the statues know that
I bet use them more harris and everyone up there, Kerr yeah. Ah, but no, I I have a. I think that dive is good, but not great.
I was all about the wildlife like, like
moral sharks
it's like seeing living things was like. I was like that's. What I'm in here did you ever do any sooner to dives? Yes, I did use a knotted as, but just the cavern diving, so there's like cavern and cave. I didn't care about it,
yeah. So I did the cavern cavern worth just you just diving in the big open thing yeah and I am not crawling in any space, exactly there's always natural light. That's the difference. When a cavern and cave I knew some cave divers in the cave. Diving course was fucked man really they would
like make you, because you need to be re, ready to react, so they would do shit like you
put your lying down to get out of the cave, and then you would have these markers that you would like touch that that could lead you out and they would do things like fuck up your markers,
make you take her mask off, so you have like go into the cave to take her mask off, kick up silt, so there's
zero visibility and then you would have to use the line to get out, but there your markers came off, so you would have to
go to align and there's like five lines going in different directions and you're like hey, which one was my which one was mine: okay, this one's mine and they keep following your way out all in zero visibility. During your cowboys erroneous story about cave, diving. No, no! It is one of the most intense stories. I've ever heard. It's on rogan podcast. It's too long to share
What about it? But it is, you know who cobblers running out. Of course, here he got into a cave dive and he got into a bad situation. Oh shit cowboys a fucking bad ass. He almost
I kept gave diving didn't, leave him in a story and it's fuckin. It's fuckin intense, unlike in him, tell him. It is a bad ass, nice, but they're all bad asses he's like a real bad like them.
was finishes in the usa. Yet he's like a real but he's like a real bad ass. Topped a bottom up, you know,
I don't think it ever turns, often him yeah and when he gets emotional, telling the story you're just like sitting there going like,
Oh just not a very real and then, and is
and I don't. I don't know if I think he quit I dunno if he quit cave, diving or not, but he's a fucking badass. I love to party with him. Now there was a few people who oh there's a few people who died. While I was in mexico like I got off the line when explore the wrong way. Few videographers, who just went missing
because of the videographer very normal for them to leave. The group is not you're not allowed, but they would do it just to get the the shot, and I know it
cozumel, somewhat missing those crazy down currents, people thought they got sucked down like three hundred feet and then just didn't come back up, and but you, what you just said was like I'd loved a party was a dancer only who's, unlike your top party list, who is like. I would love to party with these guys, and I would love to party with leica was sadly a couple of them are
I like took them to fall off the wagon when I was there. I know that lately, like Ben Affleck, will be one that would be cool. Ozy silver isobar is a sobering, I'm glad he's sober man, he's really happy yeah and- and I don't ever want him to fall off the wagon. However, if he does,
You like I, would like to be at that party here. I would like to be a party to be like to get a first drinking and to go like so what is it? What is it yeah? I tell me what you feel
well right now, like I like cause, there's a part of me that understands that I don't understand his brain like I do I drink a lot, but I don't to that. Like I don't the way he does
where it goes out of control, not so much. I am really like all of this he's my age, but I like, I think, very fondly of that guy yeah. I really do. I feel I feel like I route
work and everything at him and like are you buddies with them? Have you hung out with oh? No, I've never even met him. Okay, but up, I would
two. I would really like to party with her.
I see John Daly all the time cause yeah he's a famous like that is what he loved to have some drinks with him. I love to play golf and drink with him yeah, although I think he drink me under the table, pretty quick, really
Yes, he drinks, he drinks, yeah, he drinks are keys.
but he's have their people to drink that they do to just
get the I out of me to say this out bad about unalienable, think this is him but they're like I have a couple friends who
neither have a drink in the morning to just get to even yet there like, they don't know, then been selborne so long like drink a lot.
Drunk cause. I have a bunch of friends like that yeah and I'm not like that. I I worked out this morning. I workout every morning. I I start my day pretty early. I get my shit done. Yeah,
this is an exception, but a fun one cause like. I got to do Bobby's podcast today. Okay, so am I I'm just doing this and then I do. Why do an hr meeting? Maybe I shouldn't be doing that drunk, but then I I go to do Bobby's podcast and then I'm done for the day. So I'm like I'll, probably bring drinks over to Bobby's podcast.
but I would love married love to I- would love to get high with Seth rogen yeah. That would be fun and- and I don't smoke that much weed, but I think it'd be fun to get high with Seth Rogen
Maybe just take a couple heads you hang out you. I knew his whole process of seem like how he rules how he hits how much as he said,
king howel snoop array
elite yeah, I've gotten high with snoop I've, gotten fucked up with snoop a couple of times he's fun yeah. He seems like a great dude, nicest sweetest guy. He in terms of marketing himself, where he's bounced from like person to person to person and like he's like in the video game space
I can't get with Martha. Stewart is one of the greatest rappers like he. Everything he's done has been ah an incredible feat from the next into each area. He's fucking awesome and I got fucked up with a lot of people. We want to get fucked up with. I think I wonder who's I'd like to get drunk
well, gibson yeah, but a lackey go wild game. I'm gonna get him let alone hands, yad plan, some see.
Actually push them a little bit. So what do you think about this? What's your opinions on this, you see this in the news and just see where you hike starts to go crazy, watching the n b, a playoffs yeah, no wonder why not
Yeah like like to I'd like to there's some.
Well gibson they
Thank you are. He was like our movie star yet and so on
watch him kind of gold
crazy go, look crazy and then no it's because I'll call you oh no kind of like those guys
I take that right. I was like it always want to see it. I like pushing it like. I was doing a show in naples and when I was on stage I,
somebody in rounds. No off the hook up gets jets. Captain Brame, oh, is that right
I said something like we
We can't do this boy put a man on the moon and if you will, the crowd were like alleged.
we. I was like all you guys, don't believe in the moon landing. I was like what else do you guys believe in their likeness of of what's his name fuck in there like Biden's dead, easy as a replacement? There are chem trails and we just started going off as like we're
of january. Sixteen has been bench were graves. My love and people will have my ideas or learn. I love it more than anything is like let.
Just go out like teach me to tell you that I am a bit rachel's almonds off,
would love to. I would love to fucking have her on my podcast. Oh, she would do it and he reached out know a rachel, I'm team, rachel dude pool,
lee rob everything set up here, I've hennessy for you. I got blunts whatever you want.
you as she done along born pod gas should arrive. If I was you I wouldn't, but like ie
Don't you want to get to the bottom of like the burma. The whole adjourn. I need another cocktail. The bottom of the bottom of it is today the bottom of it is the bottom of it is ultimately it's a white person who believes they're black, which is
one of the wildest things in the world. However, here's the deal? Okay, I'm not going to say who told me this, but I'm gonna say I'm gonna say to you we're going to edit it out. Okay,.
The comedian yeah yeah yeah, keep that in europe, whose is it is it crazier or as crazy. As someone thing,
in that there is a man or a woman
oh yeah, I get the same as you like yours. What's like those on outlook among everyone's team
but what he said but like if you
Twenty years ago the dead,
There will be a caitlin jenner. I would be like that's crazy, why that's walk there,
You saying to me that in twenty years that we're not gonna go. I do see that what I mean
Honest opinion and all these things the device
It has never been like
ace or gender age. It's always been money and where I think we're going is
I get to like this sort of like cyberpunk future, where you could literally go into a place. They like crispy, your jeans or like. What's in the summer? Oh it's all girls with curry,
lee red hair and black skin and they fuckin. They can go up up up, not just identified the gene for boldness and they are done. If I didn't get rid of it,
site. Where will change? You will change you wanna genetic eurocentric, olympic exam
dumping. I have friends on ozone book that are in fact task to shape
they're losing weight. Grace who hundred ninety pounds their whole life was something very specific person now they're going like
Current calling out celebrities goin say you ve, used it first of all number one who gives a fuck who gives a fuck who gives a fuck. If, if you want to be skinny- and you can't
because of genetics or whatever the fuck thing. The thing is, you
a lot of these people soda water in those champagne.
I like it- I like this will enjoy- is this deadly alcohol that slovakia taken out later your feet but like so like imo? Testosterone?
non test. I love it see. I've got to do get on it tomorrow, I'm only thirty though thirty one. Oh you poor people
at that low yeah, I'm not that low, but I'm like. I also see that, like the benefits of people getting on and like how fast your muscle growth is like how growth is through the roof. Yeah sleep through the roof sleep to airbus, my sleeve of the extreme right in the green. All the time on my cup us
leap so much better. I have
what more energy yeah, I say, more
but how many milligrams are you taking? Are we cutting all that? No, no, we're no I'll keep rocky, but I take two hundred and fifty milligrams every three days every two days every two day retreat. Oh wait, we are all on the computer. That's not right sounds like a lot. That
like good, like crazy bodybuilder, getting like six hour milligrams a week later. That's all right, yeah
no you're not leaving like two fifty a week, our mouths, no, no I'm taking seventy five a week. Seventy five away.
Seven: five milligrams we also two fifty a month or was yet nos twenty five. Twenty five, a m.
today's twenty five milligrams every today's em on our honour on a stone
I got two days judaism than three days and allow a week. I take seventy five milligrams. Ok, ok, ok, that's
and I will tell you if I may-
Workouts have been awesome, yeah,
cover he's been awesome.
The reason I got on it:
and I I one the only reason I share this is because I have a lot of fans like me, but the only reason I got on it is my cardiologist asked me: can we test your testosterone and, I said sure he said you know if you're
the you just off testosterone back to normal help, repair your liver. If you have any done any damage to it with a
as you said that all went well, then I'm then you just made the call here waiting until stocks from I take that I take a handful of pills from a longevity doctor
like a deal with that, most of them are vitamins like milk, fiscal and tall liver stuff.
really, it's all just a lower
My sugar intake,
I would love to get on semaglutide or or with simic loot. Same same thing is as epic. Okay, I would love the awesome. Igloo tighter olympic I've seen people on it and they look,
Like an amazing, I heard the once you start taking you just fuckin above law. Back up, I take rogaine. So I've been taken out for fucking twenty six years
also you're just like whatever I'll just take it and brush my teeth everyday, I take blood pressure, medicine, everyday. You know you're not a day that just like. Why not that's the fucking elevate? I look to going to die. I looked at ryan Dunn, the other day, a picture of him
It was a video of him. I'd done a progress with someone that was friends of them. His birthday was yesterday
and so a video showed up and he was smoking a cigarette and he put it out and he lit up suit another one immediately and I was like I'm so glad he did that yeah, because that isn't what got him there?
and he really got to enjoy segura exactly the fullest. You ve, probably
notice. There are these strange tall boys of beer and the bottled water section of your local store. Well, this is not beer. It's actually a healthy beverage called liquid death. Why liquid death? Well, because their tall boys were brutally murdered or thirst and their infinitely recycle book ends are helping bring death to plastic bottles. Plastic bottles are not actually recital K. These get sent a landfills, even if you put them in your recycling, been because are not profitable to rest,
michael liquid death, on the other hand, is recyclable, and I will tell you right now: here's why I drink it because of the delivery system. No one said something that I know one drink spear like this tommy more, but that's would bring a week
I don't want to drink. My liquid, like that, I don't drink any liquid, like that. I'm into liquids
and I'm really and water, and I want to murder my water. This is disposed to drink liquid death right now. My blood pressure lowering but organs are cleansing and I'm feeling better
Finally, we des healthy beverage on amazon order, retailer near you at birth castle, asserts get twenty percent of their first liquid debt, the barrel purchase available exclusively and liquid. That's our compromise part exclusions may apply that's liquid death dot com,
iceberg. Cannonball calls this summer. It's not all about the size of those cannonballs is about making a splash with our friends at man's gaped prep for barbecue season by making sure your grow master has the oddest dogs, the summer's ever seen when you're at the cook out. Let the meat speak for itself was may escape to perform his baggage four point now, it's time to get ready and not sweaty by going may escape dot com
using the code burt for twenty percent off plus free shipping. I just shave my balls the other day I n and n someone else's ui and we trim each other, which is a it's a little bonding experience. It's kind of fun is flirty, it's fun dude, my our go to is man's cape
you, cannot trust trimmers liners anything else. It is like a hack job down there here. Let me explain: man gave the performance package. Four point: o has everything you need to guarantee. You'll have the most mouth watering treats at the party this summer, they're the ultimate bundle for your summer grooming, the lawn more four point: oh trimmer features a cutting edge ceramic blade rid to reduce grooming accidents thanks to advanced skin safe,
technology and it does and reduce I've. We ve never had a problem, I'm telling you we ve never had a problem. The lawnmower four point out has the seven thousand rpf motor a new multi function on and off switch can engage, a travel locks doesn't go in your bag and instead, when you get there and it gives you ability to turn the four
thousand k, l e d spotlight on and off when you need a more precise shape and trust me. This thing is awesome. The the light makes the trimmer. In my opinion, the light makes the trimmer, because you never have enough light down there and no one was gonna shave, their balls with a headlamp to get twenty percent off and free shipping with code beard and man's gape dot com. That's twenty percent off with free shipping at mance, gape dot com and use the code bird.
landscape the perfect way to get your patty sizzling out this summer, embracing that you're gonna dies of very important thing. It's honestly,
its given me so much peace and life like I have relaxed
like every time. I have some sort of anxiety because, like this, this
we had everything booked until
june, and then I had nothing in june on the road and then nothing till mid July, and I've got a bunch of
savings. Are men are making more money now than ever? That will make my life I'm so fuckin grateful, whereas it touring or or instrument growth, both a brain during rings and weigh more money, but instead
I'm still, as is supplementary income to today's rockwork. Oh thank you. Thank you.
Of everything on my website yet because we're still the ticket links for some of them. Not everything finalize by
is a patient. So my dad
adds realized himself if casa, which is
I hastened verizon, but he had a falling out with her
his father changed his name to his mum's last name, which was technically his step. Mom. The woman who raised him was a stepmom. Her last name was deranged, which is clearly
land profit by the crow as a great place,
profit, oh yeah, I in ice in michigan. No, I obviously have done that. That's a great but soldier who rock venue. I think, oh really, I say
Yeah we got one night there we gotta about motives up.
A new york, some due to one night or brooklyn comedy club brooklyn com.
club is like the places being give me more stage time than anywhere else in one common yeah. It's
old man, hustle woman, hustle brooklyn comic club that transfer comedy club, oklahoma city, I love o gloaming city, didn't think we're there that weak. Are you the week of the fifteenth fourteenth when we know from a city.
If it were there, the idea, if you're there I'm down, if I can get down.
Ah well off. I bet Crawford's great summit comedy club for when india is gonna
really great strip club, oh really, yeah, dude
in a cave in Austin yeah, do I've been no dawson a few times down? I love it out. There would be greatly programme
Oh yeah. I would love to hear about your you're good. It you're, really good at new york uribe grow through. Thank you appreciate, rally north carolina and with eyes good night good.
Knights I've been applied there. We are more stuff common up, I'll wait. We definitely vague s is come in. We gotta denver, there's other things that we don't have the ticket links for yet that are in the cook,
but you know
I what eleven levin levin boom son were lemons all over the numbers: sweet, what to do with it
fluids or money like so influence, footsore money so cut. My content is so risky. I don't get it,
a lot of brand deals? I don't get a lot of ah like the the bonus programs like I'm I'm. I
I did. The bonus program was a violation, as is it's like you get money for views tiktok. While I get no money for views because I'm canadian and their bonus program or there like in the book,
waiter or program. Whatever it's called is only america, Spain, france, germany, like a few places towards boat. You get, you can get bonus program you get
just for getting a lot of you here, but the money is not great facebook. If you can get views on facebook, facebook,
well, like you can bring in cash for real yo yeah, absolutely some dudes. I know getting any of this money up or what oh ha ha.
I know I think they cut back, but when they first launched, I programme and you guys are make like thirty came month of facebook, really ally, good cash flow.
Most of my income off of it
Graham knows a lot, but like these,
these girls? Who I do these videos for everyone?
again I'll thrown a promo. I would say, like I do twenty views week, two of them will be paid promo and
It's like. I'm do. The exact same content- I normally do, but I
am react they're, paying me to react to the content other sending you like going here's a thousand dollars or whatever can you yeah? Can you react to this? For me
and it's perfect because if you don't even see the difference in the contact cause, it flows so perfectly tik tok, I make nothing over there. I won't do promos until august tik, tok so unpredictable of a platform. I never nobody
He was gonna, take off or bomb over real, ah were instagram ain't. I have a grasp of what's gonna work on instagram,
and so that's where the extra income comes from, but yeah everything else like toward during his like that.
that is where my bread and butter is, and so I want
bread and butter to be because it's all comes back to stand up. Will you want people to land where you want them to land? It's like. I might only do I mean I've actually thought this morning so interesting
result. There is a lady I wish I'd give credit.
And I won't even be able to tell you what she said because I barely watched it, but she was like she's like status updates and ass. She walked and walked me through her day,
yeah, and then I saw she did it a couple of different times shop with Karen or something or shop with ali and
and she's like an influence her, but she had this day.
this should every morning I thought us pretty cool, but not like
I would never do that, but like
the clues she's got her thing that she does regularly yeah just promo shows I just promo shows like it's got to a point where I almost that's like it's almost. I wonder if
site, but you have all your other branches of content. You of that. We have multiple pike ass, you have your cooking show. You have
Are you have your touring and doing stand up in all your netflix of, like you, have all these other branches where people can consumer content? If
your posts are you just promo ing shows it's like that's what you you're using your social, for, I only use my social. I only want you to see me do stand up yeah and that's the
my answer, my youtube is only stanhope word like it's really live like a loving care on you too. It's really small, but I've seen
doing only stana, because I've seen these guys like Matt rife or like an amish patel. They built their following office straight stand up.
and their conversion of a viewer to buy tickets purchase,
is higher than mine. Even though I have like a lot,
if you're following the gnomish patel. So now, it's like focus on making
people know that I'm a stand up first and that's the big focus like for the rest the year and until further us forever or crazy, because I did not. I am. I definitely did not know how big
through them were, or were going to be, especially maddening matt mats man,
much has changed game as regards already do meet the finances torn itself,
out immediately and they added second shows immediately every joe and shut up,
nobody odom with Adam Ashton. That's right!
yes and an unarmed telling you I now- and I am saying this as obtained- is just as a sideline reporter, but
there are a lot of comics, probably in their feelings, about mount rife. Oh for sure, young hot,
blown up on tat short jack, like, of course fuel is audiences, all like chicks like its but-
yeah. Of course people are going to be jealous of corp. I was at dinner with. We were doing that hot pot thing and my two or two friends, their daughters, were their daughters, are sixteen and fifteen fifteen and seventeen, maybe both asian and ice, and they said a partido matt rife and as I do and they said he's funny- and I said that's interesting name all the comics
No, you and Matt rife. That's you know. What's wild is like cause, I'm still I'm on the ground floor of new york. I've only been new york for like a year, so I'm still like hustling, I'm driving past all the clubs there, I'm still making shit happen there
you're starting to see, has not happened in all the time, but every now and again will be an audience that is like all,
Women, twenty to twenty two and your like
you would never see that economy before never, but at Matt right has introduced this whole other group of people to stay.
Up and made them interested, instead of which there not mine
it's not enough. My play my places like fuckin, brows and perverts, like I'm like,
we was was what I got gone over here, but it's so beautiful
the sea comedy grow in that way to see it turn into like that
of music, where you're going
have all these different genres in all these different people, they're interested, indifferent comics for what they bring to the table and air
ones voice, not everyone, but they'll, be a plethora of different voices. You could pick from wasn't that people need to realise that, like
I mean look at I don't I. I don't even want to put this out there, because it sounds like we're predicting something that maybe it didn't or won't happen, but there will be jealousy that for Matt and that's just the way the business works
there are people that would be try to shit on what he's doing or downplay what he's doing, of course, because they can't do it. They just don't know how to do it and they don't know how to and here's
They know be people there'll, be people there'll be fifty year old, comics
you're, all white dude comics.
Shooting or matt rife. Not realizing
not one human being, that's going to the issue, would ever go to their shop
so lou number one thing after realises, like job.
he's not stealing all the comedy fans
Kimmel, this is a little inside into a into a television history. Knowing this will not is not gonna register with anyone, because I'm the oldest man,
in the fucking world when Jimmy no one remembers when Jimmy Kimmel came to late night. Do you remember that? No not at all jimmy kimmel came the late night twenty years ago, twenty years ago,.
fuck you see how long jimmy camels been on abc. Does it twenty years ago it had to be. I was eleven years old.
Something very interesting happened. He got a what.
Two thousand and three: yet no one hears you don't twenty years ago, he
premier, with like a like, I like two million views,
which at the time wasn't like humongous.
what fascinated networks was that letterman, an leno didn't move their numbers and all their numbers and move at all. Yet so he didn't take from them. He
just added two million people who were watching late night, all to you,
came through their and amazed. Abc was like well fuck. He just took too
I mean people who weren't watching tv and got them to watch tv yeah. I bet he can add to that and he has it's. Why he's a man without, I think the biggest thing
isn't it, though the biggest yet she is
now and no disrespect to anyone about him like, as I was the only one I would watch yeah and no disrespect to any one, but it's a jimmy kimmel. You know all the things you're saying is er
absolutely true. Comedy. Has people been talking about this for a long time like with the with the inclusion of netflix, of like really taking a combi on their back and like to blow up their platform and blowing up comedy simultaneous stuff? It had it's moving into the realm of news.
We're like Matt rife, is like a justin bieber of comedy and in his and his fan base
would never go to my show. No and they didn't exist before they went on advance. What use is is is bringing people to comedy
won't come into comedy. Initially, yes, and it's good for kids good for comedy it's great for comedy ass, more people I may be. I may be plying in an old algorithm to this. That was like the generation I was with with it. If, if somewhat mundane blew up everyone just shit on their way, there a huge hate he was huge.
Eight and dame mundane was the fuckin prototype for all of these things
The key just did it on his own, meaning the whole like I, he can
Did you fuck him? What was called myspace like messaging people commit
king with his fans like ie, interacting with each one of them, there's this guy.
Hey I need my name is another one: there's like this generation of comic,
I have come out of toronto they're all doing really well and we're all within about five six years of
which are the you know, rhineland, not source
I mean ryan came up and like the same comedy club he's maybe like three.
for four years ahead of your eye. One is doing his own thing, he's doing his own them blown up members, another guy who's. Like he's blowing up
now going to move to the states soon. Andy are I he like I've response like every comment on instead,
unlike talks dollars, vans and his fan base is
ravenous for him. They will follow him into the void man. They love everything he does
That's like that's how people are life for, because of dane be women able to build their own.
Following like the people, are having a hard time rubbing their head around it, because it's
I'll. Turning into what music was yeah like,
back in the day, comedy was exports a view of europe
Many fan the illegal football fan. You had your team, yes
and yet a couple of you root for their team. Jaded thou comedy vans, yeah
current events like music, where they go like music. You like yahoo, a country yet
Some of them are not unless the country he has,
couldn't tell you the top five hypochondriacs
and jelly role. I think it has to be want to see country have no fucking idea of fucking top five. Something yes, but, like
So now companies turned into that words like just so fuckin broad that
Anyone doing anything well in the on the platform for comedy is doing well for comedy yes, and then I think you know that's not how, as now, how sometimes our comics yet but well, there's that
as I do the way I see a lot of these things. Anyone who is like they see people making these steps. These crowd were clips which is like that
andrew shawls. He pave the way for that. We're all doing these things, because andrew shells and like you do that
our club's rhodesia, of pulling material up. He I think he was crowd, work. He oh you're right here the crowd were special yeah and the crowd were clips with the with the subtitles we're all. We all do that. That's all because of shells, shells change the game in that way. A wii! U
see. People see that happening or they see people doing like tik tok or whenever these different platforms and people poohpooh it to me. That's.
not them being purists, that's not them being
comedy needs to be like this. There, too, afraid
it or too lazy to adjust comedy has always just what are we supposed to go back to the cat skills where it's like uh, there's a board of of jokes,
with scratch. The modern as people did them throughout the night and it's like no comedy- will continue to evolve as all forms of entertainment do and war
on the right and if you don't to adapt, don't adapt but you're gonna get left behind. If You'Re- and I would say this if you're a comedian- and you can't
there you can find joy is a wrong turn, but if you can't really appreciate some success or or give them there,
flowers and go like making grass
guy he's fucking like
I'm very lucky in that. I'm I'm very happy in my career and I feel, like I've, achieved a lot of
why can look at anyone blowing up the way
we looked at us blowing up and be unlike good, I'm excited for them.
Like I'm no Matt pretty well like I,
cited! For I'm doing what he's doing. I got I'd randomly attack
sell to bait days before his tickets went on sale. I was like I dunno what you're doing but you're Oliver my algorithm keep calling it whatever yeah and so, and there I I would- and maybe I'm just a little buzz this morning but like I feel, like
If your comic analysing this, you should realise that its just like the negative comments on.
why? Yes, you not serving anyone by getting upset with some success. You, sir,
yourself better like there's a lot
People could have Giles Joseph Andrew Elliot. Add the magician
give me your comics, embrace his success and they borrowed from it huh
core absolute borrowed from it and by the way he gave it to a lot of people he shot.
I owed them what he was doing was like here. This is what I'm doing yeah and a lot of people have gotten really successful. Doing
actually what he did, and that was because no one like,
and also enters a sweet die, he just is a good guy, but like I think that, if you not celebrate.
People blown up in your just destined to sit and misery
It's always going to be something to be upset about. There's always gonna, be someone above you who you feel as like undeserving or whatever they're a thing as take a breath like I,
because a jealousy is there a it is hard to get rid of jealous it's hard to get rid of it's hard and it's hard as a comic like a lot of comics for lack of better words won't put themselves out there they're afraid to try something new or try at all,
fail, worried. You got it, you gotta, do it like you, don't get it if you're like ten twelve years-
into the game a stand up and then use.
Our putting out tik tok forints, ram reels or whatever and they're getting a hundred views? That's discouraging, but you have to do you have to do it? You
I just it like, like my youtube, does ass, but, unlike I have to keep feeding it, I have to grow if I don't
feed it it's going to go nowhere and you're going to fail you're going to fail a lot. Then let us fulfill yeah, but you still feel it sucks to fail. But
here's one thing I know is: when you fail, no one sees it
yeah, absolutely no one. It gives a fuck and, like a people, give way more a fuck when your big, unlike at those start hack and at you and and and
nipping at you and also those people who are nipping at. You probably have appreciate your caught in the first place and the people were there with you from day. One aren't dna that bullshit can serve the people serve that serve the thing that feeds you yes, but give the vulcan
lance as dialogue. Ila Allah has two wolves: good woven a battle wolf whose what will feed into the air and I'll always has the best
Well, that is not to say that I was talking. The bow wolf helps you drink. I I was having a drink with a bad wolf is fucking fun. I call it the beast, unlike the beast gnaws at me, I want to go to the gym. I want to eat clean. I want to take care of myself, but the beast is always like man just have a drink like yo eats, invest it like text that girl, I said to index their notes x or dexter like it or the beast, is always gnawing at me I'll. Try to think of the last comic I was truly jealous.
I love that I have a weird thing I don't get when I was played sports. I was very competitive. I have I'm very, very, very competitive. By had to I had to separate the two when I.
I'd separate the two, because I support a subway in sports and I just realized I'm not going to play sports competitively the way I did in the past, because it's not healthy for my brain yeah, it's not healthy for my brain at all. I was just talking to my my buddy pete my system today and we were talking
and we are talking about tennis and it brings up so much fucking
how many bad feeling so so competitive and I was not as good as everyone else. I just was it and I was playing competitive.
as a child and I go- and I I there was a thing of a woman melting down on on screen on match point on netflix and I go to see, know that's where I lived yeah, that's where I lived. That's where I lived and
But at the last person out I'd for whatever reason when I got into comedy, I think I
was so bad at it, and I was
watching. So many people from it's better than me then like with a first somersaults. Chapelle just blown away,
I prefer somersault Dana was blown away and to be friends with those guys
I know it's also older. So as I started when I was twenty six, so of be friends with those guys was like such a cool fucking thing to be friends with great comedians, the I thought that was the coolest,
in the world, and I've always had a voice, a low self esteem, so I've always are very poor rawness of poor view of myself.
But I have to remind myself of things I've done because I just.
the things I have an accomplice. Yes, of course, that I dont think I
have had
Don't think I've had any real, pure jealousy of another comment.
Succeeding. I always go like one: shots. Did the turn your phone yeah I just enjoyed it too, must have
download like this is great is really I would you like it. I cannot understand and understand that that
I really do understand that by going getting just when, when cigarette armenia, I told the story,
does what. But when he told me how much money was making eye.
I actually had a moment where I had to sit and go. Can I sit with this information and be called that and still have like not be jealous of my
friend here and then they told me that member I was I put on that's a real member. We can make a member thinking that yeah there has to be some I was jealous of,
but that, like you, said it in itself, you said went like you're, like others been so so many times
to add that I am growing when I'm like, I feel like I have. I only look at things I haven't done, taking the perspective and and stretching out and realizing what you've accomplished like realizing, where you came from, is such an important part in removing that jealousy taking appreciation for your own life,
like I, when I moved to toronto, I was homeless. I was
I was living in a youth shelter so, like my whole thing was I I
old. My scuba diving gear because I wanted to get a plane ticket to go to toronto because I am I've been doing
I set up for like a year and I was like in mexico in mexico. I was like this is what I want to do. This is what the
want to do. I had no money was broke as shit sold. My diving gear at like five hundred forty bucks or something like that bought a plane ticket.
by the time I got to downtown toronto, I had twenty five dollars left onto a starbucks. I took up my little shitty laptop
I googled toronto homeless shelters. I found a youth shelter close by went there when I got there, though, like we have no beds, so we're going to have to send you to a men's shelter and a men's shelters. Like a much more
environment, but then I, but we can feed you so sitting. I was eating. It was kind of contemplating the situation and
and someone showed up and they were drunk, and that is your tolerance policy on unlike alcohol or drugs, or anything so that he can't stay here tonight. So you can have a bentonite and I was like, oh my god. So then I got a bed and then I got to stay there and I stayed there for like six months while I would go out
Knighton do stand up real, they would. Let me break curfew to do stand and you couldn't drink. I can't drink right. I didn't drank, I didn't do drugs and do anything
I mean you, gotta really want to do stand up. Yeah really wanted to stand up. I actually part of it was moving when I moved to toronto. I I I would say ninety five percent of my sits have been sober, because
as I was like I don't. I don't need equal to recreate what I'm making that fuckin the first time ever to stand up fuckin of senate.
Keep dodging, am I not dodge and I'm gonna keep missing is call but
christian haul off is a stand up. Comic or he's just podcasting now be a stand up comic. He was, though, the very first ninety to stand up and tallahassee and had a miller lite, and he said I wouldn't do that. If I were you yeah, I said what- and he goes you don't want.
Need that to be funny exactly and I want to post a sober and I killed noah, thank god it and bring that I'll call. You
Because if you need cousins like that, every night was rushed, we're coming up, it's like fuckin, you're out every single flock and now doing it, but I look back on like
men where I met now what
doing like. I want the road to keep progressing in a positive direction. But if stayed here for the rest of my life, I would be like to accomplish. This
I'm already like? This? Is incredible and see my face?
excel. Who have been working so fuckin hard and trying to have all the
has come together like fuck. Yes, we celebrate lives biggest moments. We champagne, but everyday achievements
deserve to be celebrated to whether its closing earlier to do list, which is, by the way, an accomplishment in and of itself.
Getting somewhere on time. Big deal tried,
in that this summer, with all the traffic and eaten a city or just making it through another day. That's reason to celebrate
the next time you accomplish something within your everyday celebrate it with miller high life, the champagne of beers, because that's what living the high life is all about. Today, I'm going to celebrate with Miller high level, it's a what I'm celebrating and celebrate go to therapy cause. I've been pushing it off because we're losing my voice a lot lately, but I went to therapy today. I did a two hour podcast. I did a promo video that, I think, is pretty funny. I
the general meeting after fully loaded and I'm doing add reeds, and I worked out and lands going to dinner by herself swamp celebrating with Miller huh
the champagne beers quality beer that smooth and great tasting iconic
Champagne, like bottle with refreshing champagne, like tiny bubbles. It's a celebration is within everyone's reach, its easy to find and sole literally almost
everywhere. Welcome to the highly I've gotta miller highlights dot com, slash bert, to find miller high life near you celebrate responsibly, two thousand twenty three miller bruin company milwaukee wisconsin, this pot gas sponsored by groove life, is two thousand twenty three. Are you still use net same while you are using back in two thousand three. Now is the time to update your wallet?
with groove like the groove life. While it is a sleek, low profile, wallet engineered for everyday use, one simple thumb motion and it perfectly fans out six up to six cards for easy access to find everything you need
with its high durable quality. Aluminum outer shell this, while it is unlike any while it I have ever seen, plus they just launched a new attachment. The groove while ago, a perfect low profile, companion to groove, while it or I phoned twelve thirteen or fourteen that uses innovative micro
suction technology, to give you the ability to add another three cards plus cash. This wallet is so slim. You can easily fit it into your front pocket and you barely know it's there. This thing is bad ass. I bought one for my bus driver ron, who has a wallet
pocket all the time because he drives and he loves it seriously. Look at this
it is so frickin sleek, so bad ass
one thumb move and all your cards fan out perfectly and little clip though it you're back pocket
hold onto it. It's time to bring your wallet into the twenty first century. Had group life, dot com, slash beard for twenty percent off all groove life products, that's the best offer you'll find, but you have to use my link. Groove life dot com, slash.
Bert, for twenty percent off your order. One last time: that's groove life, dot, iceberg for twenty percent off your order, a member.
during that re, Romano endeavour tower friends and their david.
That re Romano would fly out to tell the punch up scripts for like horrid twenty five thousand dollars now went. I remember
and I was friends with this guy named Dimitri martin and I was like so if I just stick around I'll get a job. Yet if I just stick around,
They just keep doing a good job. My grandma didn't everything. I realise how brilliant tat was at the time you like. I really think that there's no there's there's no place for it.
I like just, is just jealousy in this business, so bizarre because it you want
You will I mean it makes sense, I'm trying to I'm trying to be honest and myself and try to find someone.
was Joseph member,
were wishing I had now
words and endanger careers, because I was
I was like I was like I, but I had kids and I was just as bummed that I had kids cause. I was like I,
it's like, I look like an dad and I don't want to be a dad. I'm still cool yeah and I remember being like I remember that, feeling of being like it'll be out there
bitches all the shit I was like. I was like. I wanna be like that one, because everyone thought dane did drugs and I was like throw me in that fucking briar patch
I ruin I'm not to tell people I do drugs, yeah and so on.
Think about like even when I met tosh, he was fuckin. He was like someone you met
oh cool, be friends, and then you found out about his career in your like shit now
Never jealous sounds, like I think, is also our boys, been like a boy said. The same thing at that
When I was thought I was there ever was a better comic lamb and I
it's accurate or not. I just. I still feel like that. I am a good comic. Don't get me wrong, I think I'm a good comic, but, like I will
looked at, everyone is like
just tell us do the other day I thought
one was over the moon. When I was a kid- and I was hanging out with this kid- and I was getting the money at the at the gift shop or whatever to at the snack bar yeah- and I was like I'd get like he'd. That kind of work mean business
the kid and then I was I was twelve and I was like so where do you go to school and he was like jail? Maybe wherever and I was like- hey where's that he's like I'm in fifth grade and they await you. Ten he's a gang of twelve
was hanging out with his ten year old thinking. He was fucking. Fifteen yeah you like oh he's, like I want to be that ten year old I never was. I never could be that ten year old, Amy Schumer was at ten year old, I
always had a problem with authority or people older than me of life, feeling like once there that in my head, someone who
perceive is greater than me. It's like it's done. I can't oh, I constantly work to try to overcome the, but it's a thing well started
I feel anxious or insecure around them and like revert to this version of myself, that I don't want to be, I just got rid of it. Did you just got rid of it? It's crazy! I was in a box
I was in a box where I would have said I would have made a fool of myself. I was in a luxury box where I should have made a fool of myself from beginning of the night to the end of the night, and I did not
Any capacity and I played it so cool and even when I did kind of act out,
a little bit like roused like where I normally would amerika. It was such an isolated
that I took him to the picture was like us just tempt shit. I just would like I just recently got there. That's a maze. You must think you are, but also by the business twenty two years, twenty five to whatever I feel like I've. I feel like I've
no place words like a more shocked at anyone knows. Why am I, like? You know you like one of the biggest things run and right now, I d.
I see it even inside the chosen forward, the comedian thomson.
If I me and I set out the rulers and then he goes,
as I see they know, I'm in the persons like
you being serious, I know a guy. I know, that's why I'm for real. I that's why I'm for real, I, like
I was hang out with a girl recently and I was again do amber crisis package actually, whose were crisis
and then I showed her you and you, oh, that guy these she talked about your clip,
from bar stool. When you're, like I loved rick, I never gonna stop doing. She was his fuckin hilarious, dude you're,
reverberating through everything right now will. Thank you.
And this isn t come here to suck your dick, but it just true and its
you're. Like massive brow, a vague you you're, not brook
rice learning, what? Ah that's what I wanted to hear cause, I felt I always feel like burnt chrysler
not bad, you are like you,
ah, like becoming a household name.
from your mouth to god's ears, I would like that I would love that I would love to I'd, love to just tap out and I'll keep saying tap out, but there's no tap out
business, no, like, I think you do get tired of great content. Are the content
No, I really do enjoy creating the content, it's a small piece of work
you the stand up his ike. I love I age when you craft a new joe, can you do it like that's and it works
I, tell you the punch line. I wrote my sleep last night, yeah absolutely so help me fix this. I'm going to tell you the dream I had
The point I had. I woke up
so funny. I wrote it out yet very seldom. Do I get up and write it down the road of this war?
and I was like it's the greatest punchline-
I had a dream, so my wife and I listened to his song since It-
back to my wife, and I want to listen to the moody blues, us nigeria, moody blues. Aren't they
saying
Listen once on cod. Now
aids and wide sad, nine me.
verbal amendment
I love you. I love you. I love you. I won't be so this
How stupid I am the name. Is
his knights and wide sat and land said, is surely the songs about making love ignored, but the clan she's, one of knights and white satin issues dummy dummy is not I give tee.
It's an idea and I went oh sounds like nights in white satin, and so I will
laughing about the fact that I thought it was knights and whites like she was who would write that focus on I just always, though it was nights. I, like
yeah, like the knights of the plan and so fuckin
It's like racist song, but it's slang words and I love you. Dude get good and I have anger. So last night I had a dream, okay of me and a guy walking through the woods and walking up to huge klan rally, and I see it and I look at the guy- and I say I thought you said clam rally and I started laughing so hard. I woke myself up, I thought you said clam rally and I could not stop laughing and I wrote it down like a clam rally
yeah? I thought you said clam rally, but I I was so fucking. I I stayed away for a little bit after that said. Once you get up to write something down you up, yeah. What amazed me about it.
And this is one of the things that I am usually leads me into lucid dreaming, because I can realise this. While I'm dreaming is that in this dream I went, I
my brain created a scenario where I walked onto a clan rally to
Another guy and I talked to the guy and anne and my brain gave me the line of saying, I think said, clam rally yeah, it's so bizarre that your brain would do that that your brain has
if the capacity while you're sleeping to create a scenario where there's this weird punchline, that you know you didn't think of it, my brain did yeah subconsciously. I started giggling and I went that there's gotta be something to it. I think, if you create a little more context, if you are like, I had this dream, where I was walking with this guy and had this beer,
and I was holding a fork and knife like a kind of paying the picture that you're ready to eat more and then ozone layer. I then you owe that paints at a little bit more
cause. I almost see that as a sketch did you ever see six seconds sketches. It was this
such thing where there was one with patent oswald where it was
this guy he's, like I'm a wizard, you will love, die, it's pen, oswald, shooting, lightning out of his hands and then
it zooms out and he's in, like a retirement home, Khomeini's of vegetable and
starts nurses like he thinks he's running like that's the whole sketched
did not one, and that makes me think of six seconds, sketches you walking up of your baby and there's a clam on it. You have your fortune knife and theirs
cross burning in your face, had clam rally and then it just fuckin adds that's the content. I got it. I wish I could be used to inform him and said
then you ve got a bonus.
I get that some guys are really good at sketches. I'm not good at 'em either and there's a guy nick and tony and I dunno naked and his his friends with my buddy jason NASH and David doberman. He's really good he's good at doing like they've been he does this thing where he like like hill.
I hold this figure like this, for the elevator doors yeah and every time the door elevator door opens it's something hilarious like one. They were putting bringing a coffin in awe. I've seen I've seen that like prank before that that whole thing, let him and shrimp saying his name wrong.
He did. He was a part of one of the best things ever was we kind of look alike? When you look at us like when I look
sure thing was at me, is awesome ways, as is also bunch weight, but he's got one of the best sketches ever where David dobryna told
brother, oh, that is invisible.
I've seen. That means I career eyeing and everyday worries us three. All I gotta know bay movement. One is girl. I love it.
take a picture of me in a pre, took the picture, he they a the picture.
Dude yeah he's so fucking good love that those, but like I'm, not good at those I've. I've done a couple. I don't think I've ever done sketch. Could I pass real quick? I got a post office so, as the rest of your day, look like all
doing. Steph told us pike s conceptual, as I'm talking about who was thomas on the phone to someone, and I go tellers.
I did you know, I'm ok, I control of no staff costs and also another toronto per year of real. Yet she, like, I, don't know she's
from from the color blue told her. I want to arbor on my podcast too. I think she would love to do that. Stuff told her that yeah yeah you just should we are talking about squirting
ok, great she's, escort or a sheet yet will I do not envy out outings quarter ambush attacks on our part? Yes, but- and I said well, how comes courting something we just started noticing the last ten years
Martha Washington, this quarter, where their supporters back and then salem witchcraft trials, and that's what brought would get made him, which is yet it what's the end, and we came upon the fact that
I remember what we saw we talk about. You bears. I
I started. I noticed skirting probably about ten years ago, so I would have been like no no
I know I was definitely it wait. It would have been like twenty years ago, not one. I know it's courting a twenty year. I, when I started watching porn there was there was some squire. You were an important twenty years ago when we have
out of would eleven. I started watching it alive. I was. I was thirty or thirty.
There was a member's. I fear I remember your baby right, sir.
member around that time, yeah, I remember at around forty, my notice noticed yeah. It's like
mainstream now, but back
and I remember, Siberia Siberia can squirt, like literally like a fire hose, I guess not stewed its sprays.
If you look at a compilation where's my theory, that's her name, it's about a sort of like and she lighted disease, I've gotta inferior, she
convulsive after she, she squirt sites its wild eyed. That's like ingrained in my brain she's like the fur
escort or I ever saw, which was bad because then I just thought: that's what's wording was nea. Once I'm glad I never met scorning the
first time, a person squirt you're, like fuck yeah yeah, I bet like the thirtieth time like art. Can you can try?
It's a little bit you, I think what you do or to do laundry every time her abella danger talks about how, when she goes on the road we're on the road when she staying somewhere with her boyfriend, they get two beds, so they'll have like a bed that they fuckin and she squirts all over, and then they have the bed that they sleep in. I think shane torres as a bit like that.
Yeah, you need a squirt back in the escort bad, yet the men and then a bucket
good some girls like it's a bit some girls like by somewhere else, fuck em like it's like all over the place like I've hooked up with girls like we gotta put it all down, cause it's gonna, fuck the bad up, Jesus, yes and it just like fuckin sprays. I love it. I think it's great I'm! Never never! Will you been married forever? Yeah, my wife's
it also funny. We gotta turn that tv off downstairs. I went downstairs going as the e fucks upstart bob, and I want to get it if you like. I've been there for a while, like it at all
there. Now you bugs fucked he fucked
it's like a very famous like fucked up porn website, but I,
I stopped going to cause it got dark. I dont know they like people took it over. It was like, like just dark stuff on there, no like I can look at it and where it was a kind of goofy before
like yeah like a girl pushing up foam baseballs out of her ass and you're like yeah. That's that's! It's like fuckin horse play. Yeah. You see like someone you ever seen that video that my wife does showed the phone baseball
in baseball's that ras yeah, that my wasn't a quarter, but you can see from baseball's that a morass is better. If you ask me, it was great when the girls were playing softball, that we were just alright, we should probably start as a charm,
I'm going from this in an age army, so bad. This is so bad sandra. What you website children
a dark, eyed, shade arena for all of all platform, c h e d. You aren't yet a little
I think he news on twitch and cake. That's where I do all my streaming stuff on my gaming stuff is under little dinky news and then and you're you're. A must follow on
scram and on tik tok, but I'm on instagram. Your fuckin feed is fuckin hilarious,
Thank you year appreciate some awesome go see. Him live whether it said the crow foot or
goodnight, Charlie's or oklahoma city in june dude open.
But whenever you're and new nl, I please let me up of angolan five, a shit that then I'll. Send you a baton in push, and I would love not yet absolutely fuck yeah right,
This happened,
is brought to you by the machine huh, I'm Chris Paul
owner of parham heating, cooling, plumbing lecture are looking for a long, lasting career
consider the trade, here's! What our team has to say, whether you know anything about a trade or not come talk to us. We can teach him how to do what we do. You'll enjoy it and you'll want to stick around you'll want to make it a career. If you want to be the best at what you do and you want to be respected at what you do, thomas, where you need to apply online at golf r m dot, com
trying to grab all the groceries in one trip, oof, not how you would have done that you know. Sometimes less is more like when you drive less and save with the usa, a annual mileage discount usa. I get a quote today.
Transcript generated on 2023-07-28.