Today, I sit down with comedian, Sarah Silverman. We talk about mental health, drag shows, things you can’t unsee, Norm Macdonald, her Dad’s passing, and much more!
Check out Sarah’s new special “Someone You Love” Streaming now on HBO Max!
Watch our Movie “The Machine” exclusively in movie theaters now! http://www.themachine.movie
This episode is brought to you by Mad Rabbit Tattoo. Go to http://www.madrabbit.com/bertcast and use the promo code “BERTCAST” for 25% off.
This episode is brought to you by Manscaped. Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code “BERT” at http://www.Manscaped.com
This episode is brought to you by Omaha Steaks. Go to http://www.omahasteaks.com and use the code “BERT” at checkout for $30 off your order!
This episode is also brought to you by Gametime. Go to http://www.gametime.co or download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code “BERTCAST” for $20 off your first purchase.
This episode is also brought to you by Liquid Death. Get 20% off your first Liquid Death apparel purchase available exclusively at http://www.LiquidDeath.com/BERT
This episode is also brought to you by Caldera Lab. Get 20% OFF with the code “BERT” at http://www.calderalab.com
SUBSCRIBE so you never miss a video https://bit.ly/3DC1ICg
For all TOUR DATES: http://www.bertbertbert.com
For Fully Loaded: https://fullyloadedfestival.com/
Get your tickets for the TOPS OFF WORLD TOUR at bertbertbert.com
Sign up for the FULLY LOADED AT SEA waitlist at fullyloadedatsea.com
For Something's Burning: https://bertyboyproductions.com/somethings-burning-season-1
For Merch: https://store.bertbertbert.com/
Follow Me!
Twitter: http://www.Twitter.com/bertkreischer
Facebook: http://www.Facebook.com/BertKreischer
Instagram: http://www.Instagram.com/bertkreischer
YouTube: http://www.YouTube.com/user/Akreischer
TikTok: http://www.TikTok.com/@bertkreischer
Text Me: https://my.community.com/bertkreischer
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
With you a cellular, it's just twenty nine, ninety nine per line for one two or three lines. So you don't need that robot daughter, you built to get a fourth line for family glamorizing rope, loser, Beth she's,
Can I like that the road isolated prevail boy get the low rate of twenty nine. Ninety nine per lie. We were cellular built for us terms, applied. Does it? U s cellular dot com, pretty deals, we value human connection with fever. Distractions cellular built for us visit your? U s. Cellular authorized agent located in eighteen, fifty two decorator pike in athens,
I'll. Tell you my first concrete memory of you and we were at the improv is probably sixteen years ago. You like sarah guess what I did
I got my wax entered, so am I dunno is like? Oh, my god.
You yourself tell me, and I was like it made me it like moved me that you were excited to tell me what is this. Is this your fit special? My fourth really
yeah I don't do. I never think about especially
Well, until somebody's like we were used,
national voracity like okay. So now
really just do you just go
ok, then I'll be ready like a month now, so I did hours
I shall to hbo and then the
endemic happened.
and then I didn't do stand up for a rip the longest I'd ever not done stand up since I was eighteen
then we came out of it. So do instead of error, and I got a call like we. We want
special now like I did
everything I had one night that I still light. I was still in oh and I had thought
seven minutes, and I was like our- I gotta shoot this
like three months iran so went on the road.
I'm sure a lot of colleagues. You probably do you know you probably go on the road to figure out what you have in like right, a whole special, but I usually like have it and then I
on the road cell.
Eighty on the road was, I knew if possible, deserving I what a lotta comics do. I just not had not the map
wait till you ve never been like a serious road dog though now I remember one time: did you do it like a guinness tore one time,
I dunno, maybe the isn't crazy. The things that you remember as a young comic will go. That would be so cool and then, as things are you're like, I guess I did. I don't know
ray yeah. No, I didn't tours and I'm I'm not like you, but like I did a bus tour four. You know, monday years ago, in or I did this last one was like three months rule yeah
and where do you find yourself what cities join you do do do much to them.
Well the country yeah. Really I mean I I feel like half the dates I did there. Abortion was illegal if that's anything or they're, a great abortion joke that is murdering in the south, ah
is that is that the joke,
it is they do consider and murder
loads? My daughter, I ll talk about a lot and she asked me to write a joke for her legs.
you tell a little she seventeen sixty million,
as she said, only write a joke about mention: shouldn't leslie's legislate what women do other bodies
mentions why shouldn't legislate where women do with their bodies and also baby. That's not a strong suit, like I'm, not good at that, but the issues, if you, if you do good communion, you can do it do it, and so I wrote it
and I to end it I'm like I'm like I'm, not sure anyone's gonna like it, but it's doing really well. I played, I told him from a leanne the other day and in austin as she was like. She was like at that fuckin,
I can do it for me, no, no, no! No! No that's weird to do
and about some of the girls there's like drubetskoys, like I wonder if she do the bid for me it's it's funny, because
I met you set. Probably seventeen,
almost twenty years ago. Are you my first concrete memory of you and I know I know I must have known you before this because it was like familiar but we're at the improper
probably sixteen years ago, and you like it
you're like Sarah guess what I did
I got my asshole wax iterate saw my Juno is like oh, my god.
you are telling me- and I was like it made me it like moved me that you were excited to tell me that was it. That's amazing that must have been crazy and I think about that time at the improv. So much because things are
change so drastically from sense of humour like an hour and someone
rolling, so magazine asked me they go what what what happens when some, alas, it your joke, the for the wrong reasons.
oh yeah and I go. I don't know I really have an answer for the member like because I've had it happened
If you make a joke a racial joke or something re, not I don't do it as much now when I was younger, I definitely did right then, and they'd laugh at the wrong reason, and I was like I don't know, but that was there was like an unaccepted sense of irony back then that I think
it's gone yeah. That makes sense, I hope not forever yeah like where you go well, there is a context and people go. There is no context that makes that okay and I'm like, but in art, doesn't their context says
the context, changes and that's what makes it art as you, you look at it in its
original form and then you look at it again as the world is changing as your life is changing and what you see is different, it may make it wildly problematic
but it also makes it aren't. You know I remember I can. I can highlight them todd glass, asking people to stop saying.
The the f word haha. I remember wow. What's what's really ironic about that or an auto fire? That's right way is like two weeks before
No one will ever find this good clip. Rogan said I'm going to stop saying that word and I went on his podcast on like a desperate bug.
I shall be willing to share his lazy and is an ominous stops
that word and I was like oh cool and so my head. I was like I'm gonna, stop saying that word, but I didn't mean it
It was like. Oh, I don't even know if I said it that much at the time. So I was, I was a grown up and
and I heard totter member listening is, does backroom pike ass, it was. I Brennan. I was listening on a computer now sitting at a desk listening to this
by chance it with marin yo yo when he came out when it came out,
it was so it's like you need moments like that. I wonder if we get that because we have such a diverse group of friends and other people, don't sometimes you know, like my buddies, that I grew up with still talk like that up. Yeah yeah, I'm from new.
sure am I mean arena yeah I mean it's. I mean it took a long time for me and you know
with tight. It's really interesting, because people
no, he didn't know he was gay unless he told them like it. I'd told me a few years earlier, but you know I had tried.
to fix him up with women early in and day. I had no idea because he doesn't he's not,
a feminine at all and he never talked about it and he because he was not out. He was out with his family, like can fully ruse yeah.
But he didn't wanna, be a gay comedian. He learned to be a committee,
in germany me in and like he was worried about that, and he had so many friends close friends that he was
privy to them, making gauge
yogis and all that stuff that he you know we do not consciously just. It was like that the last vestige of like you, don't realize it's like driving a mic on you when you have a mic on when you're doing something and someone's like your your might and you're like whoa,
and then you don't realize what you've been saying. Ah, that's what it's like to have got a friend, that's been in the closet and then you're like I haven't been that bad right and then all of sudden you're, like, I might have said, really horrible stuff to him. Yeah because, like we said
horrible stuff to each other I don't have, but by,
and he was worried about spain does like spiders like his best friend. You know, and everything and- and this is history to tell- but I'm going to talk so great but like when he
they came out and then he talked a spade and he was like nervous attacked a to spain spit a dude. I knew you'd like how did you know? I guess I don't know like when you were talking about
chafing dish is for an hour. That's great
He is so funny and like with I'm again him from new england side group,
that's a gay and you know I mean I guess my special me
played smear, the queer like it it. It never occurred to me what what that those words in earnings,
but, like I remembered defending saying,
Like I say gay like I have gave friends like I just mean leg, look it's stupid
it's either whatever and then on sunday,
saw myself as the guy going like what I
a collar. I have collar leg, and that was like
moment fully words like your comic change. With the times like
it's funny because, like I feel like I feel like you don't have to you, don't have to agree or disagree. I feel you got the most shit out of people.
you decided to like
change, your go like amateur,
I'm going to I'm going to listen and like all of a sudden, it was like. I felt like seinfeld was like
I won't even do colleges and you are the one person was like no, I'm gonna change and I'm going to grow and
you got it
I can do anything I disagree with, but like once, you hear that
something like cuts. A whole people
How do you unring died bell like no you, you don't have to do anything like. I hate this culture where people are made to apply
the guy's, it doesn't mean anything. No, it means nothing. What means
something as if you're sorry and you apologize and that's the only time you should apologize. I had a dream. Last night, oh fuck, oh fuck, I had the best free must night. Take your tara
take the limitless bullets and there never mind nirvana.
well, you I'll tell you, I wasn't. It removes a real thing. What change for me was in the woods with just like being like
so stupid, but I love my youngest wanted to be. An actor, won't be an actress whatever
judge I had from never being cast and anything at all
succeeding in comedy and podcasting, and I just
kinda shit on acting as shown actors, I should on acting and I
and I realized I'm doing that to my child. Who wants to be that thing? He and I realized
it's fuckin, the guy, literally in the middle of doing it was like hold on what what? What? What am I saying like cause, I'm looking at her face and she's like really they're not like, I know, but it seems like it'd, be fun, actually consider defending it and I'm like oh fuck me and then I had a back up and be like I'm baby,
I dont know why I'm saying this I go. This is probably schizoid turnaround therapy. I was not good at auditioning and I was not good at
acting and I get uncomfortable acting and I'm not good at
being anything other than me, and that's I'm not even great at that, and then I and then I and then the next day, I'm jobs, teaching georgia, how to drive- and I made a comment about
help the person I was I'd size up the person's car and take a watch out for that car they've got tape on their review on their side mirror. That means this person. I give a fuck about their car and I started doing it and I started going like hold on. Am I am I putting out these fucked up opinions? I was raised with to my children like gov, and then I I was a government. I say something homophobic to one of my child: children who's dealing with their sexuality and then I I was like okay fuck, I'm not I'm. I need to I need, and then legit spent two months in therapy just talking about
trying to fix me and the thing that I the things that I say because you know so many of my friends do this and I grew up in florida us but, like you know, support whatever the fuck that
I don't even know. What's going on really to be that honest within florida, but like there, I watch them post on their instagram and I'm like what, if their kid is dealing with some fucking thing, you know first thought so beautiful burn.
it's like it. Just that you left word at all: reflect people go their whole lives,
without doing that and it is their lives and the lives that they touch shit here. What I think, I think that you know.
just watching her walk, see you process. That is better than
if you handled it perfectly lightning maintained
Well, ladies, only got one type of dad and it's a fucked up. One like I am. I am a literally my my wife's a little fucked up too, so I can always like likely. They got it. It's it's nice to team up gift giver, regret not having killed her.
I don't regret it, but I guess it's sad
I did a little. But I love kid. You know I love kids and actually my my boyfriend did your part,
cast raw worry, outlining a warrior yeah just talking.
he talking about them about another day at the morgue america,
Oh yeah, he worked there. So yeah you've always had your eye on every dude. You've ever dated, I've always been like fuckin love that guy I do have good taste in men.
At great tasting. There's one that I never met, then I would have liked to have met he catholic. He was calf
in the few catholics there is a law, who's, overweight, news, catholic time, gms yeah. I just saw him yeah. I do. I never met him. I never knew who he was, but I remember meeting him.
A member meeting about the improv is back is but a while ago and going like ask how we suddenly cool about this guy
yeah right, so heartily already is like really soft spoke in reduce he's. Superfly me in here is a good one, but some people, like, I think, sometimes
once you run through the whole thing alive you, although I would have a much better divorce dad
as you see your friends or divorce dads and they just show up on weekends. You're, like I gotta, kill bat,
but then I think we did that's what they're doing the road,
Oh my god, I watched you in Christy's. Goes it Christy's define the crystal familiar tolerably abed, oh my god, you're both cry.
yang, so beautiful in it. I guess I mean I don't get it because button
I was on the road for three months in it so long and you just have these tent poles like these carrot.
you're like I'll, be home on this day you know, and I can't women do fucking nothing. You know but
several break as you like I'll be home, and then you don't remember
surely tied glass saying when he was
relationship. He would.
I'm home from the road and be so tired and so happy to be home and his partner would be like. Well, while you were out having a good time, you know, and it's like it's fun and the whole idea is to project fun, but it is not listening. You're right, it's not digging holes, you know, but it's it's.
It is worth it's fuckin sitting at southwest gates all day and like cars and trucks. You know not complaining
but you're. Ok, oh taken away from any kind of normal see, if you can it sought when they were
well like when they were young. That's where it really sucked and you'd get in blow just numb myself by drinking and I'd just be like I'll get through this, as we find that's, why I take my shirt off and honesty
Thursday night amid the first time I ever really did. It was at the dayton funny bone and I was thursday night night and I was like I was like this fucking sucks. There's I remember the room is
full of- and I was like uh no one looked like they wanted to see me like this fucking socks and doctors
I get your bureau's. I kept me six and, as I won, show us like I'm just going to drink six beers and have a good time, and then I was like wait. This should be a good time
this should be funny and silly and fuckin fun, and just as idle I miss my family doesn't mean that they have to witness, be missing my family, and so I,
gunnar state of spontaneously rip. My shirt off and nay start went crazy,
What oh okay and then kill a beer and doc was in the back, and I was we plan ram jam and I- and I and I was in- I had a six pack of beer and I went more and he goes
one more. So I killed another bear and then I go one more and he goes mama and it was so silly and fun and then I was like
the latest, are doing it to myself up like
like we all! I know your thing for we appeared I if you do
more but you're theme that you like a celebratory bond had, after a show yeah I mean I don't
I with the bonn we smelly betty. I join and love yeah having a path after a show. How did you
Do you manage marijuana? I know I read a book. One time you were talking about. You had anxiety on on, you had anxiety and depression when you were doing snl and you were taking Xanax. How did you manage
Klonopin actually helped me.
How did you manage getting through that most curious to know? If I have depression, I don't they
I have it by dont know not on anything. No! No! No, I, but I do
I have like a. I have a a come down period like if I'm not if like up, I just had a really busy. You know three months and I didn't drink the other day and I definitely felt dislike.
anxiousness. I had an anxiety attack at dinner last night with my wife, anna and I and I was like how do you? Why do you qualify it and what I'd love to hear your story
but because I know that a lot of people listen to me know. I've talked very openly about it about having anxiety and having a little bit of c,
the by never really no five depression or, if their connected,
right and I know you are probably aware, like everyone's
on it. So willy nilly, like I'm having a feeling you know like so you're, probably very like don't wanna look I've ever wanted like I never want to trivialize depression,
to something that really has at an angle. I got that and then them and then and they go,
you seem like you're having the time and I go, but it may be added that bad. You know I mean
Right but it sounds like alcohol is fun,
but it's also medication. For you, your self medicate, a hard core. I mean the way you're talking a minute and yeah cool hope
you re so.
Maybe that works for you, you know, but the I would love. If you were my therapist, it's either therapist one time I told her if you're flying and she goes. When was the last time you flew and I was like tuesday she was like. Well, then you know the fear I was like hold on once cause. You got through it like people that if you're flying don't fly,
I write like didn't like Aretha franklin, never fly. She just took buses of the drama and just a little easier. I loved that during the pandemic, when the bullshit pick you up in l, a just drive you cross country and then you'd work. Your way back to l a
I love that you work during the pandemic, like it just didn't, even occur to me. I was just like why everything has to you know. That's the that's my anxiety brain like. I can't sit still right. If you were to need to sit still, would you be able to handle that? I can't do it now. I come a can and I don't, but I can sometimes hear the silence and be cool with it. Sometimes
not all the times like this morning. I couldn't this morning. I was sitting at the thing and I was angry. The no one wanted me to workout this morning and I was angry that I didn't workout and so I was like I was like I'm going to workout before I gotta go from beverly hills to do, but because podcasts, like I'm gonna work out in between podcast, I'm gonna do that and I was like, but I couldn't enjoy the silence. I'm not. I can't have a really hard time when I see people Patton Oswald said you know my favorite part about, but the pandemic is just sitting on my front porch and reading a book and I it was almost like he was trying to deny the holocaust to me. Like
I was like I don't that's impossible or the book was mein kampf. I love that little tank by the time I'm going. I am going to definitely talk about hitler in a second but but like so what
What was your experience with anxiety? When did it show up? Why did it show up? Why did you cause? I know everything's a trauma marker as what they'd say like I am, and I would I would do. I was told me my trauma markers I would do it in a heartbeat. I would love to find out what happened to me too
give me this, because I don't like having anxiety, then I alaska. No, I know I really want to do, but I'm so scared hereford. Well,
I wonder if it was I who ask that my friend meal is telling me about years ago we went inch, cause there's this drug and a bunch of
friends took it and if you take it.
You can remember every moment of every day of your life, but the only down part downside is you have to toward diaper cause you huh,
represent shit yourself. I should myself so much yeah like if they will have. No.
And you don't remember everyday life.
yeah. What was what do you think like
like was that I Alaska she was talking about how to be handed me.
Yeah. I do.
When did legs. I wondered anxiety shop for you. Well, when I was thirteen, I got off a bus said it ever camping trip that I cried the whole time like a fucking. You know baby at my mind. You know I was I was embarrassed. I had like diapers hidden in my sleeping bags of bed wetter room only thirteen. I was like small
for me, as very girls had boobs and stuff, and I beg pampers in my sleeping bag, and I just wish you miletus and I just wanted to let you get off the bus and in get in my mom's car I'll just was talking about this and dumb. My mom
and picked me up which never happened and she had a camera cause. She was a photographer and she just was a quicker cook and all I wanted to do was get in the car. It was so embarrassed and I was trying to like, covertly tell her to like mum stuff that stop. Please, like begging her, but she wouldn't
it was like depression just that I have never experienced just came over me in that moment and lasted three years
but it's interesting now, looking back on it that it's like that way of
being ignored, while you're having all the attention,
She's ignoring me, but she's like taking my picture is so leg
was so foreshadowing for alike. You know paparazzi or dmz, who,
don't bother me at all. I couldn't care less. It's not like. I remember our meeting
friend who is famous for lunch and he's like will do, will papa
I'll, be there. I go. I don't do red star weekly like when you give a fuck up, but it is like
an interesting one time I picked her up at the airport and
in allay my mom and dmz.
like someone famous, must have been there and then they were saw me you don't let go you d get like this
wow these sanctions? You know it and they're following us to the car, and I'm being you know like oh either days or whatever, but then my mom is standing by the car, still talk to them and go mom get in the car
or you know, and we're driving away and she's like I don't know why you're so rude to them? It's a that's their job and I'm like yeah but like. If we
a car accident and died right now. That would be the best thing that could possibly happen to them that they would have the last picture of sorts.
Totally sunny, but anyway, so in eighth grade? That's when that happened. It's
Well story, I'm Jimmy did you think I do think that, did you get embarrassed by parents, my mom, I felt guilty saying ass, he this but bit,
but she yeah. She would oh mom I've completely because
my mom. My mom would do this by others. Almost your joke will. Even if I was my my favorite jokes, like the first time I ever saw you form you're in sweatpants, in like an n y used sweatshirt and you're you're still very attractive by go. Who is this jack I'm from Florida state right? I think I might be your age. I think I'm fifty two you're my wife's age, I'm fit.
see, and so I remember like we. I came from done up girls and I see a girl in sweatpants and a sweater and and an attractive and I'm like who the fuck. Isn't there like Sarah silverman, they go. What the fuck is like she's doing laundry and they're like no she's, a comic,
I went whoa like I thought: you'd look, what you're wearing I I then and you like you ever been looking or there. That was looking jelly of my boyfriend's cock and I realized,
I'm so turning into my mouth he had I fucking. I was like
holy shit like all of a sudden, the idea of a church of a woman was right.
Arranged for me and I was like oh my god,
never hung out with girls with personalities. I hung out with just girls I that I was like. Oh, that's, who you stand next to and I was like I was like FARC and then I saw Janine and I was like
fog like oh, my god, where, where were these girls in college and then am I not in the sororities that I was hanging out a book. My this is my impression of my mom. Oh this when you say that this is my impression of my mum. I was obsessed with figuring horses as kid like the plastic ones that you'd put on yourselves as obsess them, and I remember there was one of this. I was obsessed the movie, the black stallion of choir and it was the coolest movie. That's ever been made and there's that oh there's, this black stallion those up and it was a toy store in a in the mall of whatever the mall is on fletcher and we went back to get it and I went and I went and looked at the thing- and I didn't see in the case anymore- and I was like I don't think- is here and my mom goes up to the guy. She goes.
hey we're looking for a black figuring horse and his eye gets gone. She goes well burt. What do you want to do and I'm like fucking six and I'm like donald I'm not in charge of the conversation? Can you please at my mom's like well? No the I mean he wants it. Do you know where it is you are you sure this is the right place and it was like
that negotiation that
but her being the middleman of that and me talking to adult. I remember being like I remember just fucking crawling into my skin. I and I was oblivious to what a fuckin weird kid. I was. I wore speedos in public until I was like seven or eight, and I just I just that was just your outfit. Speedos and knee high moccasins- and I worm way too late, like a warm way too late for like someone should have said something to me and it just as my dad say, more
and he was like perfect we're going to the mall and there's a cool. I got in the corner, speed only her moccasins and he's like diana for something else. Only an uncle and he's like hey cause you're in florida is yeah ninety degree as a telescope and then he's like you think, you're going to stand out and I was like I don't think so. I was like I wear this everywhere that I'm fine and he was like you gonna, look like a fool and I was like I'm good at and then when we got there, I started realizing. It was like. It was like my baptism into society. Where I went.
We only did with knee high moccasins and a speedo like sara, and then like pulled my dad aside. This is really specific to anyone who grew up in Tampa. There were these dinosaurs and turtles, and it was right by osmonds and I was like hey.
he goes gets them to where I was like get me the squares and he went and bought me
the tracksuit in osmond and I was like, and I have tactile issues I dunno I'm a fucking nightmare, but my point is that to bring here to tell you about my drama
I I really identified when I found Xanax of like of member, giving to my dad for the first time my dad goes.
These were regular. People feel like ray it's the greatest well I'll.
in eighth grade I was put on. Ultimately,
sixteen xanax a day and I was like a tiny thirteen year old
where is next four times a day, Michael Jackson was prescribed two hundred fifty milligrams of xanax a day. It's crazy
that. Doesn't. I was just like a little zombie kit
so irresponsible. Well, I went
anyway. It's all I have to put, but
at essen. Now I got
as an ally was twenty two as ninety ninety three and like almost immediately cream, her humble that a twenty two I didn't because all of a sudden with like in a sack
and that feeling came over me again that I recognise from being thirteen fourteen fifteen and
it's like oh! No, no, no, and I was like in my mind I wanted to quit and move on to new hampshire and
it sounds so appetizing at times. Doesn't it yeah, then mark cohen,
you know margaret very well, I know more coin. I know more golan heights.
on me like a midnight therapists like who, who put
beyond klein, a pin which just like blocks anxiety for the short term? Until I was able to like see a therapist singapore
so I was eventually in I've been on zoloft since nine before, and that was what happened to me like yours.
where I was like, ah
just feel normal, like I feel I can completely be myself. I still have highs and lows: you're
yeah but not paralyzing lay. So I can think my way through them.
Only because I have this reinforcement of serotonin in my brain that you have stomach problems
yeah. You know I learned that cause. You know how it's all about serotonin, that's like is the coping this juice that makes you able to cope is also the stuff that gets reallocated to your stomach, to mend your stomach, which is why there's such a connection with stomach issues and depression, because the serotonin you need in your brain has been sent to your stomach to repair it the shore. I have a thing that goes. I I don't know it happened. We will you with us at the table as moat when I go. Why is this happening? Liam says to me? Oh I'm going to tampa sunday night. She goes. Why are you going to temple sunday night at it
it just happened to get. I have a fear of flying and all of a sudden I realize I'm flying on the red eye to tampa sunday night and my stomach turns, or, or and or I'm sorry, I'm going to new york and go to new york to do to start fully loaded and my stomach turns and I go oof and it is a physical fuckin reaction, a full blown physical reaction and no one can act. I acknowledge it because they don't feel it and when you don't have it it.
It seems like someone's talking about ghosts and you're like, and I got my my stomach's turning and then last night at dinner we started talking about I dunno or whatever. It was something, and I started getting it again and I go and like and just randomly my chair was up against the up against the railing and the tables on my stomach, and I couldn't move and my jacket felt tight. I'm like hey, I need a little space like she goes when she could take a walk and I was like Norma I'd be like I'm gonna lose my shit,
I was like it's happening, it's my stomach. I I I it. It is a physical reaction, my butt cheeks, sweat and my stomach turns, and I'm like. I can't control this,
I mean it's funny like when we were gonna, go mind body connection, but it's like a third there's debts
if there's no mind body connection, had you explained nervous diarrhoea yeah, it's completely.
Get over all that shit connected. What I remember I remember doing stand up for a little while and then finding out, I gotta I gotta give props to secure his wife, christina project sky, said to me: had you shit before you go and stay to go every time right for one stage. She goes me too, and I was like wait.
and that was almost like when you heard about jacking off in high school and you're, like someone's, like you, do the thing that never says: it'll do and you're like wait. You do have to admit I'm not gay, oh my god have I done that god do you have a tattoo? Do you say to to? I say to to I know: the proper pronunciation is tattoo, but I say to to and if you do have a tatoo you've got to check out mad rabbit mad robin is committed to reinventing to to aftercare founded by two friends with a passion for ink mad rabbit, create simple, effective and natural products that help improve the healing process and preserved tattoos order is delivered directly to your door, their hero product, the two bomb revitalises replenish
and proactively preserves to two ink, its effective on both new and old tattoos, an skins of all type and went mad rabbits as natural ingredients. They mean natural ingredients, the bomb as eight ingredients, shea butter, cocoa butter bees wax
column dollar. That's a flower sweet
and lavender frankenstein's an cucumber. That's it so forget the days of ingredients. You can't pronounced like the way I can pronounced to to
because bad rabbits knock and leave you high and dry. There will definitely be dry. You know what your body
is getting is all natural truly plus they ve got for all the products you need for your two. Two from a tattoo sunscreen tattoos soothing gel all stuff here to do,
and in April two thousand twenty one just two years in the matter of its existence, they became a carbon neutral company because they believe,
and leaving the world a little better than when they started. I'm telling you right now. I've got
two people in my family soon to be three all with tatoos. I got it for georgia as a way for me to say that I accept her getting ink when I didn't wasn't really consulted, and I know that I'm not supposed to be consulted, I'm just the father or body, but whatever loss of a little frustrated. But that's that was my. That was my gift to say that we're good so when you think to to care, think mad rabbit, they've preserved over one point: five million tatoos and right now, they've got an exclusive offer. Just for us burst, cast listeners if you've got a mad rabbit, dot com, slash, broadcast and use the promo code. Broadcast you'll receive twenty five percent off that twenty,
Five percent off when you had the mad rabbit dot, com, slash, broadcast and use the promo code. Burke cast a o father's day is right around the corner and you haven't gotten your dad anything yet huh, don't worry. That's where ours
sponsors of the show today come in handy man, scape comes in handy, both you and I know he needs some serious grooming in his life. So, grab your dad the performance package for porno and he'll. Thank you for helping
tame his beast. It's a win win situation for both mom and dad got a man's cape dot com and use the code bird for twenty percent off plus free shipping man's cape disease.
men's brand, dedicated to blow the waste grooming and perfected their game. With the lawn more for porno imagined, surprise, you die with sleep well designed and optimize grooming. Get that says your balls will. Thank you on the box. Therefore, journal generation tremor features a cutting edge ceramic blade. True, deuce grooming accidents, thanks to their advanced skin, safe technology, you might ask: how is islam or four point no different than there are other tremors? Well, this upgraded tremor includes a multifunctional on an ostrich that engage in a travel
Thank god people don't think you have a vibrator in your bag when you're going through security. This is a great feature that, if your father or yourself to a lot of traveling you're going to thank, it, also gives you their ability to turn on the four thousand K. L e d spot,
light on and off when you need for a more precise shape,
If you can now shave your balls in the dark and you're thinking, why would I do it in the dark just think about this when you're doing it over a toilet? Sometimes you don't have the best light. All of a sudden. You have light
or more for porno even allows you to customize your trim through additional guard links with sizes won through four. Have you
ever seen a nose hair sticking out of your dad's
while the weed whacker to point out knows
ear, trimmer is the best knows and
your tremor, your ever gonna find on the market and is the perfect gift for your pops. They also have amazing products like the cologne crop mob, barbers wipe ball revivers ball. Tony crop preserver ball deodorant
your dad, the gift that you know he will use get
when percent off with free shipping at landscape, dot com and use the code. Bert, don't forget that you came from your dad's balls
this year, show your original home some love with man scaped, but yeah. I fuckin nervous nervous diary is like something I almost I didn't know you talk about this in the special
but with special is fantastic yea, so you're so good yours, just so good you're. Just so good like I am I less. I was
listening. I listen to it last night in bed with leanne and then and then this morning I I I was like. I think I kind of skipped over the middle part- the middle parts, my doubts with my favorite, the all the stuff about
the toilet paper- commercial, oh hey I got. Can I tell you like I actually I I didn't realize like how much of a comic I am now, but I go unless you open
that I would have opened with a real about them with it. I would have opened with it because you get such a pat like I'd like as a guy doing a sick joke, it's so stupid, but when a girl does it it's,
smart, it's like when Louie tomorrow and louis would do like either bag.
Dixon your end, you like does a dumb job, but when lui does it it's funny or re fact, laws like like tied glass like I
had a joke, literally from high school that I did like in the beginning, our occur of just, and it was just like my my friend asked me if his breath smelled like talk
and I was like I don't know- do put shit near your tacos like a router, nasal and tied.
plus years later was like. Do you still do that joke and I was like what? No, how do you even remember that, and he goes, can I
have a nice if any has cited
course. He made it into like this ten minute genius like super meadow thing. No, but it's interesting because you talking about stuff, I watch
My go. It's so good and it's so good. Coming from you, because it's just it's like it's different. That makes sense
yeah. Well, I mean it's weird them. Just like you,
You have a thing were when people say your material back to you you're like ill.
like I don't feel, grows what I say: people
are so grows to make as they think like I'm gonna love it and I re act like a bad Zaza view of it inside him,
media said but yeah I it's
Well, you know you do you know you do out knots alike, but, like you, do
thing where you you're, throw like even let even like the squirrel thing where you go and buy it, that's a little throw away, and you
acknowledge it. You do well in your speech that you do so now. You're special little throw ways you make them so fine. You really do have inability to make a special feel. Like I'm watch you at largo like you, don't you don't make it
feel too scripted. It feels very loose so much so that I go. How many shows did she shoot like a comic ago? How many shows issue which one did she use? Is this the one where she took his as her second show of the night, where, like I I was like, I was literally breaking the
down on my head going like I'm dying. I want to know all the ins and outs it's so interesting, because I've only done four specials, but I tried to learn from each one and like
at the last one. I did the let the lighting for Jesus magic, changing aim, specials the light india,
I really know what that is Liam lynch. You know that the lighting and Jesus is magic was the fucking best lighting specials were done a certain way up until that point, I'm I'm a nerd about specials, I'm a nerd about specials. The lighting
the backdrops and all the lighting was done in a very sterile way because the, but whatever the place where them, but they should man, show that
there was a cabinet, was doing all these vessels are not burn, will mill. Britain Bryn mill
yeah that no bird marie brick burnham marie,
said no, no, that's that they did. They did to get me start
I a road rules. They do, but they didn't used to do all the specials. It was very sterile and then you did that special. It felt special and it really was like the first one to feel special
You shot that what two thousand for the I'd give anything- and I remember, go like wool and then all of a sudden backdrop started changing
yeah? I am a I'm really like I'm obsessed with like this guy Liam lynch he directed my all three of my first vessels and but that first one uses magic. We worked so we had so much fun, working on and like
and dumb like he spent forty hours taking there's one moment where I like flickr tier, like wipe a tear and flick it and then he's been forty hours on a terror flicking off my finger and then
steve, agee in the wings, catching it and then jerking off with that.
And it was just a side thing. You know it
I like the little detail, but I was I was. I was so impressed. I had a great moment on razzle dazzle where I had were two moments that were really hilarious in the room when I had to piss in the middle of a set just went over to the side of the stage and piston cup and- and I was like I was like- I was like it's real and I'd been doing it a lot. I still do it a lot on stage because I end up having to go to the bathroom in the room. I I it's it's anxiety, really
not anxiety on stage but its anxiety about I gotta piss, like like that's like I remember one time in the car with my dad driving from key west to florida by type, is so much that my dad forced me into the bath. Many goes I want to see it come out.
These are your make. I'm gonna making this up dead ends.
And then that and then I had a nother part in the last bit. I said I said I call my dad daddy and creep.
me out and the whole room out, and I and it was really fun. I put a man and they just didn't it didn't it looks scripted
yeah, it's so weird and like it. This was the realised in them.
In moment, but if it doesn't look as way than it wasn't it's crazy because it should feel. But yeah doesn't,
and the funny it only one. I've ever seen felt we always when Daniel tosh kick to deeds out of his special swallow, the fucking real.
moments and then, when Greg Geraldo had a dude fall asleep in the middle of his special
Where do you shoot it liked? Like rain? I know I figure shouting queens and it was this jamaican due to passed out in the middle of a special
and it's fucking just so it's just Greg stopping down, and going I mean he he'd just fall asleep. It's such a great. Ah he was such a great dude. How many farming not like not to death and is how many friends have you lost cause? I've lost a lot of friends but you've, you've, you've known
you ve been in this. Even we start when you're eighteen sign of your savages stand about seventeen, but I didn't like pass at it.
Club in new york. Until I was nineteen, I didn't start until I was twenty six were in a finance just like there's no
Just like yours aim before it. It is the most diverse eclectic group of people is the only thing that
that we have in common is comedy. Like I have friends letter,
in their eightys. I have friends that are like ninety I ever eat, like every culture, every
religion, it's like it's pretty cool, do think, do think of signing the siting doors of like who. What would you be had come
not gotten you can't you say sliding doors is or is my most use reference for a movie. I ve never seen one paltrow I've never seen affinity there. It was just on tv and I go here's my chance to actually see the movie that I reverend there all the time, and I bet I refer them all the time, because I'm obsessed with I'm obsessed with little things happen your life, the change it for ever butterfly a fact that movie
profound effect on me. I also didn't see that watch. I walked out of that movie going. Oh, this might be the best movie I've ever seen in my entire life
I remember when I see it is a bull it. It doesn't hold up butter but yeah, like I think about that constantly little things like lions, a big citing door for me, because I had a moment where, when we started date daily, she broke up with me and I fought
the back and in getting her back. There was a moment she where she said this is going to be serious. If it happens, I'm not fucking around. You need to have intention with this, and I had this moment I was like I could be and for lack of better words. I hope you get this reference could be gary
valentine gary valentine the dude. I know yeah yeah yeah yeah yo, he was he was like borucki we go to the bar. We hang out, we meet new checks, that's how it works, you don't don't get locked down, you don't get lockdown just menu and the bar every night we meet new checks and I go. I could be with Gary valentine at the end of the bar every night or I
and walk away from the bar and gold Liane had I not met. I always wonder, like
Why not mentally, and I would never be where I am today. I would never have any success and I think the same thing about last comic standing too had I got picked on last comic. Standing too, I was devastating for me at the time to not get on that show devastating, but it would have. I would never have had a career cause. I would have been the guy with fifteen minutes. Who could was a good feature act and I would have never grown so I would have shut soul as headliner, but but I wonder cause you've had I mean I just wonder has stand up not found your unit found stand up. Rather, do you ever think who would I be like like when you like, or on a plane,
you see, like some lady, walked by your. Would that be me? Would I be some exact at at like at like nike right? I don't know I feel. Like I don't know, I mean I've. I play
and on being a comedian. Since third grade you yeah, I net.
lucky in that way of, because I saw other friends
going. Who am I wish you wouldn't want to be when wash and it's like what you
Who is it? Who you are unless your cut back? I get I just don't. I've just always been a comic.
like I'd. I've never imagined anything else other than like I went
to be in musical theater. I want to be an actor I went, but always, but as soon as stand up to,
that was all I really thought about. I mean I do love other things and doing our jobs like yearning mean, but maybe I'd be a teacher,
I'd like to be like everyone's favorite, two young mister carter, maybe a teacher
or I work with some maybe work with like on
mentally challenged. Adults or kids are people yeah or larger service would do better to get so. Boats are that's.
It's good to be a salesman. Do you ever watch bloodline? I love it cause you're talking about florida and then your boats,
oh my god, that shows a good at the actress in their which o linda carlini
actress, the auditors? What does it mean the owed? The actress
or do you mean about Linda kerr, Andrea arise
brad chosen credible in early
I immediately was like who is this. I have a crush on her. She is, she has got. She is adorable she's incredible. She is fucking incredible and then I'm like I love when you find someone like that, then you go wait. She's been choosing freaks and geeks
but she was. We shouldn't do this for her, and these are going back and you like untangling near like
I feel that a million things well, that's ignore
bert LEO, but who plays the brother whose, like the boat guy who, as coke problem with regular and I got back just like a florida, guided
the when he's got the australian exit mitigated
that's the guy that that gets, kill the guy who the brother, who yeah you're fucked up, rather, whose just
he's at that southern exit. Then you find out he's australian. I now and then have a credible, his aunts and every Ben mendous roth has burger men. Medicine
the member states know it norbert lear buzz is the brother who yet well spent mendel.
Then here I know you can't believe it could use like, but then there's the brother that's norbert leo, but suit, whereas he on their roots, handler here's the brother but Mendelson smokes and everything is and by the way on my guide yeah. He was so good. No really- and I just go- that's just like a florida duty. I'd like to,
wraparound glasses. He worked on the boat his way. What is right, errors eases the second row to the re.
oh yeah, any
is like a musical theatres star. I was
I worked on them once he did a workshop of the musical. I did and he's like fun.
incredible. You seem like you'd, be someone who would be really fun to deep dive, a series with yeah. I love I mean
when people go like what do you love to do and like you are so active you're always doing stuff like for me, my passion is t v. Like I love watching series. I love anything like murderer. He
three larry. I only have one serious. This is a deep dive. I will have one series that I'll buy got into.
And mainly unwarlike, we watched all of it with nip talk
oh yeah? Roulette worse, I got really in a nip talk for like a weekend
every time I m in a hot tub. I think about that girl who had dire like who had like of honor of shadow like collapsed me back or something but she's dating one of the doctors, and then it like she diary is in the whole heart of a disaster,
yeah. I like a game of thrones Leon. I read that you'd be like yeah. I remember that really liked it out of the game of thrones the girls deep.
of it when we were in ITALY. I like they're, like really got into it, said god, and I was like
and then watching it. The second time I was like I didn't understand the serious at all, like I'm really bad names
When did you lord of the rings, unlike name one guy scott likes? Why can follow the fucking story? Like everyone's
and lar and launder enlightened, unlike like it just everything's, I continents in an a you like I needed a deryck s got a bill,
then the enemy in on law, and so I have a hard time following though shows
my ass mister, married to an indian man and clearly of metal.
I am from india and that he I mean he's here now, but
He lived in india till he was like twenty nine earth college or something but he's a sports editor. But am he
His parents were coming over and I had not like met,
Them yet- and I was like you know- and I taxes
laura my sister and I got, would you send me their names and like right? It fanatically cause, I'm gonna like really know it when they get here and she goes. Sarah
tom
as I slept on indian checks. That's like if I go back
that's like there's a couple races I never got to like
and I'm really attracted andean checks. I can I
Never I never like. I just I would all I was
say that was my surroundings of
in florida in the seventies was a very diverse and you like one chinese person,
a new one, maybe too
families that were indian grown up, but then, when I moved to new york, I was like what the fuck yeah I moved to new york. I was like this is different jewish checks. That was my cause. I went to prominently.
jewish grades, who, while rarely if ever it will probably florida, was like, like by half alike, that part of florida yeah. You know
tampa, oh really, Jews in Tampa. I was so jealous that I wasn't jewish, because all the jewish kids knew each other so like like you'd come home and you'd come to school on thursday and they'd be like ugh
how much fun was David's bar mitzvah. We were there. We are on like fifth grade and I was like wait. You guys went to a bar mitzvah unlikely as David fabricate the older brother. We all went to his
Let us agree years all hung out this began and the like are we like? We had a great time. We part we were dancing
they have great dj. He made thirty five grand grandiloquent. What the fuck
I got again of me in the five christian kids, a barrack Napo Brian Callaghan, by Brian crane, like that, just though there were like five non jewish dude hung out with an
all they all like all jews. Kid knew each other, not fuck her later.
I was you in that scenario. Is I'm from new Hampshire? I didn't know jews.
I didn't know, I never I didn't get bar mitzvah.
I never been to. I hadn't been till one eye- you don't fucking farm country real.
shut up, though I I I envied
when I moved to allay, I even came back again because every jewish can have great great schools go to agree.
pre and great schools go to
in allaying overweight. Oh you mean, like children,
if the kid your kids cause it all. The all the jewish schools were like fuckin murderers, like they were all at great schools, and they were all. We lived in like round up like right on the edge korea town, but
more towards like that area in hancock parked is predominantly orthodox, oh yeah,
the honey baked ham, yes, the big tab, and so I got it came back again and I was like fuck it. We always use gam, gam, awake,
your kids go to a jewish arms like school like to be jewish. I do you
Thank you. I mean my my mom went like my mom was in the same face scenario.
Like my mum, went to like ST margaret's. You know whenever I went to a catholic school said my dad, you enter anti semitism. Oh my dad got this.
they kicked out of every day. We had. We had
one guy I won't say his name is god forbid is listening and this brings up trauma, but we have one kid who is jewish? We played tennis together, I knew him and then we all
at the high school, and I never knew he was jewish. Until we went to religion class and our priest was like and then the Jews that the people they took jesus- and he literally
blamed sky collegiate uses to all of us enormously why'd. You do that man
was the ravens- were like well yeah, it's so but like that, he he was there was like you had we had one jewish kenner in our highschool and it was like and we didn't he didn't know what antisemitism was you were just like, but they were
pointed out that fuckin the same as I guy my family units from new Hampshire, so we would like work, for
politicians, you know cause they always come to new Hampshire. First and, like you know, my parents who get real, involve like politicians
Would like stay in people's homes to seem like normal, lilith and bizarre family were
for her jesse
accent, yellow rainbow coalition, that is its pre comments, are proposed
jaime tangier both
it yeah and he made them jaime, don't comment, but we still worked for him like we just I dunno I mean like yeah. There are jews in new york. It wasn't as sensitive time. We were like yeah, alright now and that and then my
fucking, english teacher and seventh grid research,
I family works for jesse Jackson said,
I'm sure your family doesn't because it oh and I was like even as seventh grade out just like a view.
Thought he was in a semantic. Why would you work for him mean? Like still do love have the the the the antisemitism he knows verified. You know, mark norman, a little bit. Okay, so mark norman mart. Mart norman makes jokes about everything and awe one of the things they are jews.
it's like nonstop, it's it's it's it's hard when you're doing taking it out of context, but it's it's very lighthearted. Even I'm gay. I call me Kurt kurt Chris rock, and it's just it's almost like a stream conscious, like no filter, so we're in europe and our tour manager is german and mark says something near dos and she has market ain't. Need you to stop that he goes what seems like it makes me uncomfortable and he's like. This is a joke. She was, I know, but it's a
Is it from our from it? It's a debts that we find a funny and he goes well wait. What do you say? Don't like joke with your jewish friends like what you don't make jokes about them. We enjoy your by friends. Is yours and I dont know in the jewish people, and he goes what should markham german? That's kind of our thing and I didn't realize until at mom
how severe the actual holocaust was, that there are no jews in germany
right. There used to be a lot of jews and year where the inhabitants wag, like you're,
not just the other day
check your german recreation area, but I mean that couldn't.
You hear german name. It's either
a jew or not a jew. My first, my first development deal in hollywood that I really appreciate you coming in on yom kippur, like not a thing as a traffic was easy. What are you talking about and the like? No, I mean thank you man, it's taken the time and I was like I'm, not jewish and one of the guys in the room. David talked
when, as I do not like waiting, I just lose the deal. It's only then ass, the majority of the majority of jewish people in antwerp in your
up and it's insane when you realize the effects. When you you. I think a lot of people here
cost and they just go yeah yeah. That was a thing, but they don't realize it was a thing that actually transitioned the the the landscape of the of your
it will not happen fast, but it happens. Slow, like just like here when you go, a women have freedom over their bodies, of course,
it's since nineteen seventy two and there were seventy three and then it's like
little by little like while you can have an abortion clinic unless they have like hallways this wide of alibi, like all these little things that make worse when the sap to shut down for reasons of it and then there's like what
cancun can't abortion. After six weeks, while women don't find out, there are pregnant untold after that, usually an off and then there's just states where abortion,
as a legal entity just bit by bit. It happens. You don't feel like this and that's why
like when the why my republic was it: oh in Austria, germany, whatever and shit
being away at like no jews aloud, and you can't do this. Jews were still like,
what movie is my home, my life lived you're, my I'll, let you know just like where things are
Getting unsafe for women of birthing agents, whole states were in know like
there are women who are planned. Pregnancy,
They go wrong and have to like just carry
a dead or dying feed us and give birth to it in you know twenty states right now or something that it's really fucking dog
it's crazy. Like I fight, if I didn't have like
a wall like protecting my leg just hold.
Bye. Bye would be going bananas right now, but it's? U dont. There isn't slow motion or, like music, tell
as this is a major shift in our country where we're going were becoming iran here, like
we'll get IRAN in the seventies, like women are in bikinis and it's a total hippy culture and little
a little really.
Gin took over, and now it's led by a guy who says god talks to him and says women have to be covered head to toe and all those shit we're so
those two that I'm,
and where the
crazy. You know, evangelical right is getting policy passed past enow,
he's disingenuous, you know, politicians that don't give a fuck about.
Abortion are making it illegal to get votes and money from interest groups and they don't care that it's like
radically changing people's lives in and hurting people's health,
and women can't be in as independent as they. You know it's it's there's. I see them as visual there's no way it's about caring about life. We know that rail
you, it's about
keeping women down or hating. When I dont know it doesn't make sense to me, I know we're we're just
the same as you only with sometimes with the
don't go, there went out.
I will the other day I woke up, and I thought I want a cheeseburger. We have cheeseburgers and then I remembered hell yeah we do. We've got omaha steaks. We always have omaha steaks, listen with father's day right around the corner. What are you going to give the man who has everything well father's day, experts at omaha steaks have made it easy to put a smile on the big guy's face this summer with hand selected packages head over to omaha steaks, dot com and use promo code burt at checkout to get thirty dollars off your qualifying order packages can include fork, tender, bacon, wrapped filet mignon or
war may drilling holes like the air chilled bonus, chicken, breast burgos, jumbo francs. I swear by these jumbo francs and many many many more don't forget to save room for dessert. Most give package's come with four delicious carmel apple tartlet, I'm getting hungry just talking about it, also check
On the other hand, the package's that are guaranteed to make dad's day because of theirs,
One thing we know is that dad once stakes, whether he's your
father, father in law, or father figure he's the guy who was always ready to step up when you need them the most this fathers day
show him the love, the only other gift, that's as unforgettable as he is the mouth watering perfection of omaha steaks from perfectly aged. Oh so, tender steaks to hand select a gift packages. Omaha steaks makes it easy to give dad what he really wants order today and get thirty dollars off the promo code. Burt and every purchase is backed by their unconditional money. Back guarantee, minimal or rent may be required, see site for details.
Where were we the other day? Oh, we wanted to go, see a baseball game and we were like stressed out. We didn't know how to get tickets where to get tickets. It was the last minute and I'm a mic and buying tickets.
for your favorite events should be the stressful game. Time is the fast and easy way to buy tickets for also
music, comedy and theatre near you with killer deals on last minute tickets and their best prices guaranteed. You can stop stressing over tickets start getting hyped for the fun you'll. Have I'm telling you? I was looking for ticket
for the upcoming taylor, swift concert in and allay because every moment to taylor swift
I want to go see. Taylor, swift and Aaron. Rodgers went to go, see, taylor, swift, anna and I went on game time and I found them. The best deals you're going to find. I love the flash steel and the last minute tickets images of the seat views they give you they let you know this is where you're gonna sit, and this is what you're going to see that didn't happen. The super bowl for me I'll tell you that right now, lowest prices guaranteed event, cancellation and protection, job loss, protection,
etc. Game. Time is a place for last minute. Ticket deals, tickets are sent directly to your phones. You never have to dig through your emails snag tickets without stress with game time, download the game time app and create account and use code broadcast for twenty dollars off your first purchase terms apply again queen
in the kelp and redeem code, burt cast for twenty dollars off download
time to day last minute tickets, lower prices guaranteed. I dont you note, and sadly I'm part of the night, as you said that I was right
wait for real, like when you go like, and then they make these rules where you get the wall. Always I for going like, like I'm the
worse than that literally goes, doesn't understand, what's happening until it's a little too
its barely in the news, but it's crazy women don't have rights if you're. If you get pregnant, you are fucked liken in texas. In a few states like
If you go out of state to get an abortion, because it's not legal there, you can get prosecuted, the the the abortion doctor will can go to jail.
the person who drove you there, the uber driver can get yes
and right now this this doctor, who gave
a ten year old girl who was raped and got pregnant in ohio and can't couldn't get an abortion went to another state today
an abortion and that doctor is now get being prosecuted. For
being a ten year old girl who was raped is that in the news, but because it goes
part of me goes, I feel like they're, probably not in your news stream. The same algorithm. The algorithm have in your phone is not feeding any of that info. My algorithm is enlisted
puerto rican guy getting his haircut. I it's not so funny because it's just like so then so then tell me what's wrong with me, because that's a good nothing's wrong with you, but here but about it. I feel when I hear this, I go how come I is it
that I'm so so. Like
singularly polarized about me. Where I go, I don't want to do with politics. I can never talk about politics. Can I go and then I go,
all I literally water boat boat, both vonny videos, pudding, guys gonna haircut, H, beseech you re ngos. Getting her cat is so satisfying.
I was watching like the edges, be perfect and everything I like it's where they they come in, like with really messy hair and then and then they and like a met messy beard and then they just line them up and like they, it's just so satisfying
It's so I actually, when a middle eastern dudes too, I went into a middle eastern barbershop the other day, and I watched him clean up a dude and I was like goddamn it man. I could fucking sit here like a strip club,
I a pebble barber videos, dilated wars, the things that I'm sorry
I was here and then certain things, and I think my dad. Never let me the communists
against him? He never. Let me be right about whatever my opinion was he challenge it on anything. So I think I just started giving up having.
giving up and go like whatever? I read a minute
see the wrong side of it, so I won't I'm not gonna.
Your data know it all know he is no he's not he my dad someone who, who his whole motto is eat shit. Cachexia fly under the radar to raise your hand, don't don't don't stick don't stand up just just get through
tomorrow, like it's life's, not fair, if not you're, not going to do what you love just fucking. Why are you going to why you take your shirt off Jesus Christ, like that's my dad and so
when used with you said to me: a gay not gave the trans gendered talent shows in florida,
the thing I don't know that rag shows it no itself.
In the internal sea are only legal,
florida to just casually. Santa's stance is just an tie, woke whatever that in so inside it isn't
for anything, it's just anti some I dont. Even I don't even know. I honestly thought it was just like click bait,
I don't I don't. I really was like
Are they holding? Are they
really bringing drag, shows into kindergartens and doing drag shows are like what's going on. Oh, like I don't know what the fuck it is, so I just stay out of it because I go. I don't want to get involved because
No one ever my fucking need european is gonna, be wrong and I want to deal with
on the internet. So just dodge! Oh that's! So that's what people see in their fields they go drag.
Winds are sexual lies your children. Will you go
oh, my god? Oh my god, you ve gotta protect the children. Of course, that son was happening like
rod shows you know. Drag shows are so adjacent to comedy like helmut, like it just drag and and dead.
If there was something where drag queens were reading at libraries to kids going to have they'll have like someone reading the library and they had like you know, whatever a drag queen as like dame edna or mother, goose or whatever the fuck and that's with their you know, and then they're like protesting.
In just like they're nuts. We would pay how people these people, sexual lies, drag queen, but they wouldn't sexual eyes
Grandma reading to these are like women dressed as a grandma road roy lemon dressed as a or men dressed as a woman. I remember my plea for there not like to be dressed up as a puppy coach when we were kids, petticoats redress up as the old lady and and was hilarious, was fucking lairs, an eye that I owe my mom used to do it. My mommy
to dress up as a as an old lady and ended with people. It had a bug for acting. They never got to scratch at
and then we may end up in the in the school system. Until I got some fun I died
in considers herself drag, you know she puts on a wig. She puts out all this of face of makeup and she has this persona, and you know, but it is it's it's
totally homophobic and sexualizing homophobia, because I mean sexualizing, just gay, because.
uncle milton wore a dress? And
nipsey, Russell wore a dress, or you know, whatever lawrence ward, russ Martin lawrence wore a dress, a a a and
That's all great! Why? Because their straight like that, the only thing
The difference is that one is straightened.
And the others are predominantly are gay. You know, but it's just like you know, ty glas made the best point. You know where it's like, when guys straight guys are like yeah, I'm from with gigas, but just like just like imagining them like have sex,
fucking gross like yeah. It's gross. To imagine your parents having sex or your sister having sex, do you do that or should they not be allowed to exist? Like don't picture a you're fucking your grows, we were in a hotel room, one time doing coke at a bachelor party and someone put up a someone just as a joke. Like just ordered it was one hundred my room and they just bought a gay porn thinking. Like ha now you gotta pay for gay porn
and it started, and- and you know when you're on coke, your inhibitions are a little little off to the side and we started watching and no one was talking and everyone's like. So as I go, you gotta turn this off,
like weight, or is your dick getting hard to watch that dude? So I could do dick all you're seeing is someone's suck a dick and that everyone's in their like everyone's in there like send someone.
so keep it all. I see less. Let's see
you really have to tap out.
And when that dude. So if I there's twice I've seen this happen, the bachelor party was not the first time, but when you think of a dude fucking to do the ass you always when you're a straight guy.
Think it's someone bent over dollar, you style standing up and the guy's behind them. That's how you think it happened right. You don't realize there is a. There is a there's, a laundry list of ways to fuck somebody
ass and one of the ways as once it was lying on the guy's stomach an end and he was jerking off and he was having sex with him and all of us like.
Thus we're like what you can do it like that, like a faint, no, no, no, no! No! No, they were, he was smaller
what are you fucking guy
I remember this so vividly
with laying on his on his stomach. His back was on his stomach, ok, ok and he had his arm
around them, and then the guy, the marina jerking off and we were
What are you going to like this? If there was no sound they'd be like? Are they talking about a vi,
elin is yeah, and we everyone was like whoa what the fuck I didn't know. You could do it like that and that's when someone's like. Alright, it goes off.
But like? There is hope for alma phobias really interesting, because the.
I was saying that some of the other day I was this to tommy the other day. I didn't have like a lot of the kids. I know that are my daughter's age that are kids. I I watch grow up. A lot of them are like an a a pi of a higher
something that I would have ever imagined or get. These are boys and girls that I wash grow up. Some you identified very quickly right that right and if some you're like a really
and then the mounds again. I know you're like that. I do not see that commonly deftly all have liked
the space to experiment to what it was like, and it's some one of the dead. Sir Julian was a cool thing to do now, and I was like what because I'm I was raised thinking I was raised that homosexuality was not a choice
you were born at my right and then there, like one out more of a choice, acted kids, all experiment and I'll have my
in the car. It will see out, and people who are gay will be game. He will was trailers if you can
make somebody gayer straight then gay kids would just be still
hey there, surrounded by straight kids. All you know. In our day you know in our day we didn't about it. I didn't I did not know like I. It was not. It was not at the buffet when I was a kid like. That was not one of the things like I said to the dad. That's so funny. You say that when I was a kid the lie,
cool thing you could do was to blow dude. You could not make out being gave us like the worst thing gap here and it's worse in some interest.
Going to see this fucking pendulum swing and go? I wonder if it's happening all over the world or if it's just you know states, but it's just like, thank god that there is like that kids today, first of all the kids today I can for medicines
but like they ve been through so fucking. Much like we added so easy our generation leg there
no war, there is a global pandemic. There is no, no
he came and shot up our school
You know that you know that I am a make us I hadda of
well right what it by but I'll, make a joke about school shooting just very flippantly, because it wasn't something real. It's a real fear to kids like
imagine having to go to school and be a level kitten and know that
maybe someone's someone's gonna, fucking murder? You we can. I tell you something that really fuck fuck me out the other day I didn't realize that sandy hook was like four year olds, like
I am so tat out of the new cycle that some
said to me not like not to like not like at all just fine, we'll shootings, but I go that high schools, tough right,
I didn't realize that the majority school shootings are babies and metal
suddenly like like a deafening chemical, fuckin, school, shooting joke ever again how the fuck can I like I've, like
I was almost son is like you. Is this? What effect this is really about agnes example, but it's really good
for florida you enjoy the ocean so much until the one day show you, the helicopter shot of all the sharks in the ocean and you're like theirs,
one hundred and forty sharks in the ocean and you're like why the fuck I'm not going out there ever again. Have you ever seen that shot halston pull up, fucking sharks and in in new smyrna or just florida beaches?
Sarah, you will never want to go in the fucking water. Every ghana
fraid of sharks aerial shot. Look at that what not just like on any given early given fucking.
Day. This isn't singer island like they're, just there will be, but they don't fuck with you right they mostly downright they don't fuck you do. They know
interested in attacking you, but when you see those shots, you're like ok this this is a different perspective, but then here's the deal. Ok, can you, like my fear, my fears,
Okay, you know the things you can't unsee yeah and then you go. I never want to see faces of death when that was going around. I was like no, I don't to see that I'd never seen a beheading. Thank god. I've never seen a batting
and dude talk about a beheading the other day and it was very casually on a on a. I must have been on a plane. It was a stranger or maybe it was the airport bar and he was taught might have been a clip online. Anyway, I was hearing about someone talking about a beheading the other day and I was like, I can't believe he's watched the beheading he can't ever unsee that
Wait so that you were about to tell me something cause you're like you know how there's some stuff you can't unsee. So then we're okay like so then what what I don't? I don't want. I don't ever want to politicize my comedy
But then what happens? If you start reading the news and you go, why can't not talk about these things looked like like? How does that? How do you do you avoid that? How do you have
worried that it's funny cause. I like em pray political, but when I close my stand up, I'm not a mean social politics. Sure, like abortion and ship, but like I know
I know I like dumb, I like being dumb and silly are still smarter than the average comic on stage right, but my preferences for comedy is dumb and silly, but like
like you. I sleep in some lake,
I've only limited anything, but that's your gift. I mean people want
forget. They want to laugh. You know, like a comic called me like
a few years ago and was just gonna liked in that trunk was present.
and this man he's like. I feel guilty that
don't do anything, political and mike, I feel like I should- and I was just like-
why he had all alike.
inclined to that's one thing, but like what a gift to just bring.
Joy tat the most amount of
people like you and me shall just always be that way. Niche and another question to me.
everyone on
just don't. I just drive mercedes
here the feeling I feel like I was telling. I was too as I listen to protest about it off Eichmann guy last night
Can I tell you, can I tell you know out of all the nazis he's my favorite, the most he's the most I so this is where I am really broken. Okay, so I listen to this podcast by adolf Eichmann,
and I go, and I had so suddenly. Realizations us all star work backwards without it off Eichmann the holocaust kind of gets ignored, because enough Eichmann put a face on the holocaust.
A lot of the Jews, and I'm telling you this during that trial during the trial right during that trial, a lot of the Jews in Israel were saying to the
Jews from germany. Why didn't you just get out like why? How bad right have been and they have a very diverse? I ended up deep, diving into vitamin this morning. There's documentary on netflix going to check it out. It's it's! It's
All black and white is just trial footage, but how they mania. If we produce that, maybe
So there's a great moment in this trial, where I am going to fuck it up, but together bring a guy on the stand. I saw boy this boy was thrown into the
the ovens he pulled out and he had the number dot dot dot,
on his arm. I'll, never forget that number had
that number rights. It's the number I've ever seen and the fucking dude sitting the police
it's officer sitting on the thing, raises his fucking rest and goes. That was me and it's I mean it's like it's a powerful. It's really powerful adolf Eichmann put a face on the holocaust for the majority
if the world, because the only people that really saw it with the really saw the atrocities were the american soldiers who are
reading the the camps this put a face on it and so that that's why
my favorite nazi, because without it off I mean you, don't have represent, you may not have representation rang, meaning it made people met. Him might have just said. Why didn't you escape here's? The we're pour. The holocaust is only tightened like seventeen of our fifty states for real I'm grow up. Learning at
in new Hampshire. We did our know where the story was going, but anyway it off Eichmann. I keep I kept watching it going like like how he was thirty five.
I've been accomplished so much. I got to think of that dialogue when someone's thirty five,
if you're like, oh, my god, was famous, I look at thirty five year olds and I go like there's someone who is has like thirty, five and they're blowing up- and I was like I was like I couldn't handle all that I could let alone he was a part of the quote. Unquote, final solution:
like bit beat what you said was accurate. I will everything you saying is that it is suddenly
these neighborhoods about out neighbours and then literally eichmann hitler. Him are all there
at the other, I'm like yo. Let's just fuckin wrap this up. You run the trains I'll take the of like that, and they had a meeting about it at thirty five. I can. I have stuck with thirty five now I have a hard time doing shit at fifty at thirty five. How was hitler when he died?
the young. I don't know you said the one one fact in your special law, hitler fact and I was like as a trail. Isn't it there's a great progress here is called the dictators and hitler's got hitler's ike
I just got a development deal us was spotted like the beatles of of the you know, dictators. What do you think that he was fifty six when he died?
He's a big pill head right, unlike amphetamines,
Is there anywhere that explains his moustache? He said and she tried to trim your beer and coke you're just like going it's lower on the chin, laura Negoti, let's go goatee, but even even even even else on these areas like this look guys. I know he or his dad was a beekeeper. These are the facts. I know about hitler ooh his dad was a beekeeper, his dad used to like a glass of wine. Every morning before he went to work interesting hitler only enjoyed a qa, a spoonful,
sugar inside his wine. He took a spoonful of sugar in his wine and his wife. It was a little bit of a pussy
he was really little there, but I love.
If you had that one facts, little known fact- and I was like oh wait- am I going to know this and I was like oh, I knew that
you did oh yeah yeah she killed herself. Yes, she did kill herself yeah skills of hitler is the one that it goes on repeat on my phone at night, when I have one of my podcasts cause, he's got like thirteen part series, so it goes papa doc a fuckin
Franz Ferdinand. Franz Ferdinand, the spanish dictator suffering mussolini, no, no none. Another mostly is not on their yet turkmen by she, but then hitler's like nineteen of them. As I look, I know somebody fucking things by listening to hitler or my tour boss. Just
the growing hunter instant, his category I go so or at least transition will get it. We should ever brought not as hard as you think should be. I asked you gonna get that I've. Google issues
a bit of a fuckin sex and he's in a bit of a sex.
The I mean he myself, since you must have had some weird sex, stuff
some people have a theory that he was jewish there would. That is that. Is they ve also through?
that he was gay and I have I pushed that away cause I feel like that is made by people who think that that's a slur ray and so I go don't put hitler in that. He was just a dick yeah like if he was non binary
That's fine! You probably noticed these strange tall boys of beer in the bottle
water section at your local store. Well, it's not beer, it's actually a healthy beverage called, but liquid death. I frickin love liquid death, why they call it would death because
as these tall boys will brutally murray or thirst and an infinitely recyclable cans are helping to bring deaths. A plastic bottles, plastic bottles are recyclable, they just sent a landfills and then maybe you'll see them
big ocean packs, where fish are living under them, millimeter space. This is horrible. I dunno anything about about sustainability, but I can tell you those those those bottles are shit shows liquid death. Also, then it's a portion of profits for every cancelled to help kill plastic pollution. This I don't have the t one does just the water, I'm telling you is the delivery system. That's why I love this company. I have been fans of theirs for a long time, but I love it because the way I drink now my blood pressure's lower. You can find liquid deaths, healthy beverages on amazon or in a real tailor near you and bert cast listeners get twenty percent off their first liquid
at the apparel purchase available exclusively at liquid death dot com. Slash bert exclusions may apply that liquid death dot com, slash burn the skin care world, is heavily female driven and has long been the wild wild west for men, wa wa west weather camp
find the right brand or simply lack the knowledge and understanding of its skin care is something that requires attention if not taken care of, you may become material for
maybe your own stage where he sees you in those fine lines in the wrinkles in the front row and then light you up, don't be that guy. Luckily, minsk and care has never been easier, with caldera lab clinically proven to reduce wrinkles, fine lines and signs of aging.
Caldera lab is the leader in minsk and karen is here to save the day. Use our exclusive code bert, I caldera lab dot com to enjoy twenty percent off their best.
Products I use their icon. I use it the other day on two bears you'll hear me talk about it on bears. The cadaver lab is also a sponsor to bears. I absolutely love it, I'm telling you they create a high performance, men's skin care products and their regiment leads off with their their product line up a twice a day routine. To transform your skin inside the regiment bundle you're going to find skin care, dream team, the clean slate, the base layer and the good the clean slate starts.
and end your day, this facewash leaves all types of skin refreshed the base layer. Is your daily moisturizer that hydrate your skin and absorbs it fast and leaves you with a matte finish. So you can start your day with confidence and the the
this I serum, call the icon that stuff. I love. It addresses the three most comments.
And concerns around the eyes, fine lines, dark, surf circles and puffing us my problems. Puffing, this I'm telling you
I do use, I swear to god. We have to bear as- and I put it on and I put on before every one and then I put it on before I did went to the
red carpet for my movie and the lady said: did you use
big around your eyes are so called their lab is made with top here. Ingredients in his
great addition to your daily routine takes less than a minute,
in the morning animal night and this year to reduce your wrinkles fine lines and signs of aging avoid being the butt of everyone's joe can T.
The leap to skin care royalty with caldera lab get twenty percent off with our code, bert at caldera lab dot com. That's twenty percent off at caldera, lab dot com by using the code bert, take your health to the next level in skin care with caldera lab
Ok, here's. My question will get you out here. I know you like this. Is I'm getting out I'm getting my first every like dermatologists
skin check of you ever done now. Veto gone the sun much now, you're fine yeah,
what do they look like in your vagina and they get you naked and they just scope your body and then then I got a hotspot here. We got a hotspot here
What, if there's something in like your ass cheek and they don't look
The sun doesn't know the sun doesn't hit their image. I don't think you'll have skin cancer in your asshole, although Bob marley had on his toe.
That's: are those things similar in your view about it, just as you like, your toe would get a lot of sun because we robin jamaica re than it. Would you ve never asking us
in cancer jack. I had a little something like scooped off my nose. Once I had a friend who just had two friends who just got a script. Author knows, I grew up in florida. So, like we got your mom, my mom would put me out in the sun for my first day of the summer and I'd burn real bad and then I'd be
Good for the summer- oh, that's, that's really interesting! Yeah! Don't ever put ice on bergson. My lip gets so sunburnt to this day that I went surfing with my daughter in hawaii right for us. I was doing something and I took my daughter before she went college to wine and it was swollen the next morning, but it was swollen and I couldn't as I is like this and she could not stop laughing at me. I couldn't go out in the sun, it was like swollen, but here's, okay, here's romanesque series
question: do you have a plan? Never never! I am. I really think about it. I never make a plan
I never think about where I want to be in my career in a certain amount of years. I just I just
every thought too? I never think of it. That way, I don't know. Why did you like, when you did you did you when you re
like younger weak. When you did when you did there's something about mary. The there's a couple
like movies, that you are like best friend and you watch the best friend role grow and grow and grow, and I was like was that was at planned out.
Is that, like a we've got to get her in this get her in this and then we need her starring in her own movie. Now, just everything
I never had like a comedy movie or anything I will now. I just didn't have that trajectory will when it was cut, one
was like getting hot or whatever
The roles in comedies for women were alike, and I did a couple of them were like the an inner like women. Comics would get like the angry girl friend was like you have to get a job.
you have to you, know in grow up in an area like there's something funny about those roles. Yeah, and it said
but even like bed wetter, the musical another kind of I know. What's his name past right, you're for yeah, yeah, scar, yeah, Adam Sazen, jerry, who I wrote it when he was in he was he was what band was in thousands of wind the area funds away,
I was at like. Is that something just shows up that you are like? You write the book and then the like someone he's like hey. We should
you, ve never occurred to me. Then he came over me how's, like a couple years after the book,
came out and he was like this is.
he's a and he's going through the chapters. That's a sound, that's the ito! It
so we started working on it and then
star working with joy,
it's who's, the micro writer and I quote,
lyrics with Adam, and then he did all the music and then when we are about
to do it in Adam died of covered
and and this awesome guide David S back came in
so we did it off broadway and now it's hopefully
when a broadway in the winter, but am
what was the question? I'm not in it now. I never did like that that you seem like you, have a very organic career and neglected group of friends that are all very creative, like I feel like you're you're you're rolodex of friends are like bizarre,
real, really, really famous people and then really really interesting? People me
I feel a minor athletes fighters and then, like three bans that I like it, you know what I have.
I have said affinity for,
professional wrestlers, like I just
I feel like there are so many great people who are perfect
in a rules like just a couple that like reached out god man, I'm remember, there's divorce into battle,
but there are so many great ones and its end there, like it's,
many because not to talk right wing left wing, but it is like there.
audience is so one kind of way
and their selves is so different.
Oh yeah, I think that's love a man from his by one of those. Little did. I know probably one of the most liberal due to know who's a really big, fresher wrestler and his fans are not the most liberal did. I know we're like to me: that's the most beautiful like that.
It's a beautiful power to be able to go like I have all these fans, that's what
like howard to me is like has such an up.
Trinity, and he takes it, used to be so powerful because he's everyone.
his fan, like every kind of politics like far left far right, fucking lunatic.
Reg all the way to a central, asia and so
You know if I say something it's like talking into it. You know echo chamber
no, but when he says stuff it can reach
We change minds, or at least get people to go egg thought what why
what you know like yahoo area, sir, in goods, the pushed back, he gets a weird push back.
Because he was so aggressive as a young dude
and so like thought this fact that
and then you watch him age and I'm thinking settled into maybe who he is and like therapy and and being in a great relationship, and you know, he's the keys, the ultimate interviewer and the amazing he's the ultimate interviewer
he's a he's, a guy that I would never do his show just cause. I would fuck up and overshare way to buy. Do you remember when norm did his show and he was like hey, you gotta be a retard and then and then he goes wait. What did he say is. Was that cause
warm? That was maybe my favorite little norm run when he was trying to get out of defending louis and and I and he was then he went on the view and he was eaten tic tacs and he was like what am I gay like
he does a kept making it worse and in a you knew norm I barely new norm but as a part of light just bear
knowing you normally like. Is this the bit, but is this the bit
you never really know what he did to me. It was my favorite norm story, so I'd too. So, ah, he gets in trouble and that whole thing- and I and I just put a tweet out I'd I'd I'd, met him a couple of times. I came off stage one time and he just
I couldn't stop laughing and he goes no shirt no and he was loud. A genuine like hysterical, laugh, no shirt, no shirt, the whole time, no search, no, not any good. Then I know that the no shirt no shirt and then we talked a little bit we were with rose.
The next day we talked we'll talk, and he told this great store this fucking the best story, teller.
The best storyteller in a room full of amazing storytellers. I tat when he gets intra by senator
sweet and say you know a m team norm, I'm ride or die is the best and he writes me a tweet bert. This means so much to you to me. Ah, I I'm in a bad spot to find people that stand by me. It means the world and this and that you're such a good friend and then I wrote anything for your norm. You know I love you and he's like great, and then I text, like a text like aryan and and rogan and cigarette like to see like the little thing the norm said this to me and then the very next text have I ever met you so then so that I wrote back and normally I would know shortly, certainly cause I'm I'm joking and then for ST patty's day.
more seventeenth we're supposed to? I bought my specials coming out of a big boy, and I brought a big morning show to can start at eight. The Morton in the morning is going to run all day long. I'm gonna run the whole thing. It's ST patty's day event and I book everyone. I've got spade. I've got norm. I've got Joe I've got sebastian, I've got, I mean everyone top to bottom. It's filled the whole lineups film and stayed home mortars coming on the thirteenth,
and the shows cancelled, and I get a text from. Ah I got a text from norm st patty's day morning. Here we still on for today and I write back it's a I rebecca. I think it's going to be cancelled because I'm at the club, where are you and I'm like oh shit, and so I'm like? I try calling him and he doesn't
texas, like are you brown back and I'm like I go. I heard her enormous stay at home waters everyone's at home and he goes. Oh that's why traffic was light. He goes I'm just joking. I know it if you like, but it was just him. Fucking with me, was the fuckin. He was the fucking greatest but yeah. Well, I love norm. God he was the fucking content. Jesus
Christ. Do you ever look at your body count how many people you've lost. I started keeping a list and it says they couldn't keep up with that at so many people, it's crazy yeah in comics. It just feels so whimsical like that.
I feel like comics shouldn't have guns like there's so many times where I go like. I want to learn how to shoot a gun. I want to have a gun, you know like in a safe and just you know like totally and but
No, like I know I'll blow my brains out,
on a whimsical moment of feeling low. You know you're, although it is pretty gang, should we were to Jimmy. Did it? Why we're? How did you do
at something that you can't really say like it's gangster to kill yourself, but it is. It is like it's just fascinating. I guess he went in to his went into his wife and was like. Oh you make coffee I'll, take your coffee. She was like okay and then he just went into the bathroom. He shot himself in the head. Like it's like so weird that you'd alter your coffee and then be like hey, I think I'll just die. Instead, as I'm saying,
whimsical like you, that's the one thing you should just put off until tomorrow in a good word for himself,
yeah yeah yeah! It's it's interesting! It does take the anxiety of death out of out of the mix if you just go a while just kill myself one day. So I know that I'm in control right it does take the fuckin fear of death you're like I'll. Do it later, but I'll be the one that does it. I think my buddies
that way- and I was like interesting as with the and ends
I met him when he was he was in high school. He was seventeen.
and he was like the m c and I was the middle and this guy MIKE runnels was the closer, a milliner, obviously and dumb.
And we always remembered that and that's you know cause he remembers it cause. I said you know move to new york. I can you know you get, can get you at the Boston, conical or whatever, and so gillis remembers that and we're talking about it at night,
I saw him after he showed me. The EU showed a fund of us sticks and stones
and he was talking about any cars. Remember that gig a vegas as whatever having to make reynolds, and I stayed friends with them for many years- and I was like oh heap- he.
Kill themselves at treasure. Right, you got a room at treasure, island and, oh god, calling quince sent me is suicide. Note nice! I still having read it but
It's like real lives like ten typed pages,
but anyway, I'm that was weird, but I go yeah. He just killed him. He had just killed himself like a couple months viewing,
oh god. Oh what about the other go worked with Adam leslie and as like blue blew his brains,
it was a very delicate, but it's so many
so many we'll both your friends kill themselves in college like back to back to back
It was and the one guy everyone was like. I I try to make a joke out of this one time and it never worked. First guy killed himself and his dad was military. He was military, went out to the woods shot himself with a rifle
And I guess somewhere in the note, alluded to the fact that he was him it got to us. We were like you think he was gay and he'd want to come. Next. Dude went home for when
a break in his car shot himself in his head and we will. I will fuck one of their were dating, like one of that was happening. Third dude killed himself and
The first thing to note was I'm not gay yeah? I know you guys who think I'm gay? I'm not. I just hate my dad, but I shall let you go, but it's been
pleasure of talking to you. I could talk to you for you, for I could talk to you for ever and
and your own tore you're going back onto a rhino. Now I just got a as everyone else
at Hb max watch especial it is
so good you're, so good.
I use you as a reference to everyone cause you're. What late there's a couple names you just can't deny how funny they are it like. None of us can like you know, there are people that can be polarize by certain things, but there there's a there's a short
list of there's a list of force era and you're on that yeah. It's an inside jerk view waxed fuckin, so good,
and- and I'm you know
I had a few highlights in my career of like exciting moments I have, but one of my favorite one's ever was turned the pandemic. You sent me a dam and you said,
he said. I just want you to know. I got I just got done talking with David letterman and he he like brought you up a couple of times and I was like I was like fuck
I couldn't wait. Two legs! You track you down, because I know
I would wish like
I was so nervous he could have. This is the first call we had, because we did this thing together and the first thing he said was like can ask you something? What is up with this?
cray sheriff. Well, how can we never as a shirt on but he's so intrigued by you? He thinks you're so funny, and I just thought I couldn't wait to get off the phone just so I could read his voicemail I've. I've played them a message. I send it to my dad, like he did a video one time talking about me to my binder and I said mike binder sent it to me. I send it to my dad. My dad goes buddy. I think he's talking about you. I go daddy stuff. He says he says my name
It definitely says my name, I'm sorry about lost your father. I know that it's weird, it's weird, knowing your stand up to, I feel like I know the guy you know like if you feel like you know these.
People and when he died. I went off fuck that guy it was a pretty great death, though really well yeah because might well he.
I'd. Ten days after my stepmother died, which was heartbreaking, she
but when he died he died of
kidney failure knee he knew he was gonna die end. We promised him no more hospital and we tripled shut ada, ok
hey you're gonna die. If you don't go to hospital, it's like I want to be with Jan as I why you don't want to be in a hospital and it sucks in the hospital, and then I talked to his doctor and his doctors like it's. Actually a painless death dying of kidney failure. It's a painless death. You go into a fog and your heart gives out and
back into his room and a good dad, no more medicine, you're not going to hospital and we're,
all gonna, be with you forever who idea because he was gonna die.
We just hung out with them. We took turns sleeping next to him in bed. We-
sang songs. Reed died laugh he was. We were all singing he. This is favorite song. The worms crawl in the worms crawl out the words like being a girl. I nearly snout. We see we're making like dark joe
Jeff Ross came to visit him a couple days in a row he sat down. He was like schlep. I have
news. I don't think you can be a my emergency contact anymore. You like it was really
sweet camel Jimmy camel came by.
after a couple hours and sat with them. We all just like were with him until until he died. Oh man. I hope I go out that good as it was good either that or shark attacks on happens, quick where feel like. I can fight it off and then it just happens shark that I think about death.
Lots era when they have to get your head or you're. Like my offer, has it half my body and I'm just like this going like I want a moment of bravery before it happens, run like
What does HANS does now I go out and then and then it just happens and you go. I guess that was how I went out to an odd death fantasy. Most people want to do it in their sleep. No, no, no, no! No! No one see it coming.
don't see it coming. I that one just suck go out like a sucker, you shouldn't be afraid of flying no
No, I know no, because I know
I don't have control over that. I'm just one of the duties that was like should
They took a wrong turn now we're just over
fucking indian ocean in the sea of china and all just a fox which at the end you just goes out.
Let us vote by yeah, but not as much as idea of another lot. Oh yeah, I've by more
average little edible, might be nice of your brain, sir yeah. It's different for every one of your brain, hey for real congrats on the special
Thank you. Do my friend thanks for having Meno anytime any break calf
This episode was brought to you, madam
she, but you are cellular, it's just twenty nine. Ninety nine per line for one two or three lines. So you don't need that robot daughter, you built to get a fourth line for family glamorizing, rope, Elizabeth she's,
How can a like that? The road I scenario where they get the low rate of twenty nine? Ninety nine per line we were cellular built for us terms, applied this? U s! Cellular dot, com, pretty death! We value human connection with fever. Distractions cellular built for us visit your? U s! Cellular authorized agent located at eighteen. Fifty two decorator pike in athens,
Few presents picture this you're, getting together with all your best friends now picture. All your best friends are actually the delicious ingredients at the new cake, vat or cookie. No blizzard, that's dick. You saw serve kate, better flavour, confetti cooking, to pieces and take your signature sprinkles. It sounds like you got some pretty sweet friends and that's worth queuing. The confetti carried out the flavor party isn't gonna last forever so hurry hand and get your cake better fix today. Only a drink. You happy taste good!
Transcript generated on 2023-07-11.