I sit down with Rob Riggle in the manacave and we talk about bootcamp, Rob starting standup in NYC, how he started improv, Afghanistan, Robs SNL audition, and much more!
Check out Rob's Podcast "Riggles Picks" w Sarah Tiana
This episode is brought to you by Omaha Steaks. Go to www.omahasteaks.com and type "Bert" in the search bar for 78% off of the fathers day package today.
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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hey, guys, brady podcast roseanne. What
Can you believe that she's not on your side? No she's on my podcast god? I hope I I wonder if that
got me listeners were got me, not listeners
Fuckin holy shit
you know, the abc is president of ABC is a black woman. No, I did not the up making she's at I
didn't understand who I was theirs.
you're wrong here, and I thought it was
the woman rosy
was going after her name's channing dungeon,
tony dont use daughter, I don't know tat. Why don't you go to a box would have
worked vanunu. Intoning dungeons, but it's a joke obvious, is that twenty two countries are
thirty years, why? Why is tony? Don't do not apply? No, no, he is working. Just it's not twenty! Don't you look. So is not a very good note of egypt's. There was a funny,
what it was was hesitating dollars, army or their certain demographic is not a very good people in listening right now that went, shut up their story. Don't use. Dora was so below you, but you can do better
anyway, brand brandyball cast everybody city with my wife ripped off the gas tank nozzle station. Just love
low pine last night party, I'm scared
If you scared the shit out of you and you were it's gonna, have
to try to be a bit I'm to try to work in because there was something that happened with you that I couldn't really. You were wrong
you in the wrong initially
you knew you are wrong here, but you are not. You were like oh fuck.
the only one that can accept responsibility for this. In your
eyes. It was a really interesting look. I've only seem like normal in this situation. I was gonna get blamed. Right
I did blame you in my head. He did I okay, that's what I saw. I saw you blaming me. Well, you know what you said later was accurate. You said, I understand why you would think it was disconnected because you I've been back and forth to the car several times. So that's
is what my head did. My head went. Oh, he took it out, cause he's been back and forth in invoking the coroner dating back to the car after going inside and looking for ice.
chocolate.
Looking into an ilo some money gum accident.
I have gum gum, she goes. I need some tic tacs
so I went back into a tick tax and
back out again what took tax yes,
and I just assumed we were all wrapped up and waiting, but we were not wrapped. I went back in and I went I'm going to get beer and a cooler of ice.
He's not a quick tramp before a refill. I was going back and forth. They much forgotten. We gotta get another reminder some area ripped off the nozzle again and I went back. I go, I'm so happy. I'm gonna get to see this, and then you are working with the nozzle. In your hand,
and you are looking at me, ready to blame me, and I can. I saw it in your eyes
you knew you were the only ones, but you didn't, but boy did you. I thought you thought he took it out a mean. You did come back and tell you were so ready to blame me, and I was such an interesting look in your eyes.
And I knew from that moment- I wasn't
mad at you. I thought it was kind of fucking, crazy,
ok, we're gonna be here. While I don't care about any of that, as I did
gas going everywhere, no one's die.
Because that was what I thought happened when you rip the nozzle out. Apparently it's magnetic they've, just plug it right back in for one hundred and seventy bucks right, but man
Interesting, looking your, I say it was funny law that mean that larvae guy behind me was was hazing and I was like lot better move, and I
to sort of you undertaken Gallagher that drove off without even looking consent.
We got out of the driver's seat. You pump the gas. That is one of the gentlemanly things that you do so we also tell them about the hopeless. Please try to shove ourselves out of the god of eggs.
Because I wish you d been gondola from the base.
do the summit a mammoth
in Burton. I were both sitting closest to the door and our kids and our friends they have subs were in there and then, when the door,
open, I just assumes- is I'm the lady, like instinctively the lady goes out first, but apparently I assumed wrong and burden. I liked pinball machine banged each other, but the tuck in the door trying to get at the same time cause I was trying not to fall and then going back in to go back down. You were elbowing me aside, literally allowed me to get in first, so you get to see wanted. I thought, oh, my god, so pumping gas is probably it may be
The only gentlemanly saying like that that you do you're always very natural for media shit on that's a
things being. Ok, when we go on thinking, we got to the top of the summit. I saw a sign that set eleven fifty three, the altitude, it's as eleven in big letters and then the number-
Fifty three! That's the name of the bar, the even go to let the eleven
Thirty three bar means your ousted eleven thousand feet and fifty three of antiquity
miss read it as seven eleven, a m.
So there's a set of eleven here and I like someone up election, no shit
and so I made fun of that and that's why I, when, when europe that thing off, I was ready to be in trouble,
but why would you every in trouble for something I did cause? It part it's a little bit.
Little bit of the leanne like whenever they want. I said: hey kids boring,
eating. I said kids don't get,
four pieces stake. Allow their enough to be for everyone you, what if they would forward,
So stake then get four pieces stake now. No, no! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! That's not what I was saying that actually know none and net ninon. And what were you saying here
The way the entire night had been haste. Even
Gonna both put. Are you gonna cut that are moving that hey stephen? Can you move that every Eric? How about you
put this over here, hey sandy, why don't you move this over here and put it here? Hey you scoop this out. Hey you do this hey. Can you give me some corn? How about you have some mac and cheese? How about you have some baked beans? How about you- and I was like
to make their own decision. You were telling everybody out everything, and by
the time you had told stephen how to cook me Erica.
carved me and it was
so funny I almost took a picture of it because we were all playing rummy cube. The ladies were playing remick you by you as cookie, and I tried to take a picture has even moved,
stephen- was working on the meat at the counter
Eric was standing next to saving- and you were standing almost between the two but behind them with both hands on your hips just tell them what to do.
I was a girl. I've told the ladys, I said: look at birth, luke was
happening at the counter and they turned around and we all started laughing hysterically because you were standing behind them. Hands on your hips, going yeah yeah, just move it over to this idea is that knife sharpener you may want to sharpen that knife. We are, you sure, has arrested five minutes fully because I don't know if we can really carve at hey Steven how about your carpet you're going to carve it that way. That's how you're going to carbon seven
done that and then you continued on telling everybody how to manage everything. So by the time you are telling the kids. How does scoop
mac and cheese. I was like stars marriages. I was just saying: docket too much is enough. We can. We can figure out how to scoop megan g anyway. We had a fantastic memorial day weekend and that's why I'm releasing this podcast this week with rob Riggle
because you're fucking such
I am not. I wish you I wish stephen had not moved. This is why and by the way, I join this illusion as the camera women about that moment, because we want, I was getting ready to get yelled at win win.
I was getting out. I was gonna, be in trouble for her ripping off the nozzle. Ok hold the thumb.
This is the way a lot of things happened for you bertrand five minutes ago, I'm taking the garbage-
in poland, the garbage out the garbage? Can embargoes don't take that out? I'm gonna take it out and our ok, no problem.
So I did something else. A comeback. Garbage is still there
go, do something else come back. Garbage is still there,
So then, we're coming out to the man cave to record this and I go hey at a point to the garbage go. I know I know I've got the garbage and I was like, but you clearly forgot the garbage forgot. I asked you fifteen minutes ago to take it out and is sitting in the floor of the kitchen and we have one hundred and forty pound bull mastiff that will eat. That garbage will have your brain. I know, but then you get mad at me for reminding you for something that you forgot that you keep telling me. You want to do to help me and then you get mad cause. They don't ask you for help when, when I
I ask you for help, you forget,
and you're not being mean you just forget, rush.
so then, at the end of the day, the end result is I don't.
Help. So then,
ask for help so that I'm not disappointed. Does that make sense
I dont know what this has to do with
european, the nozzle out yeah. It has to do with you, believing I get mad at you, but sometimes you get mad at me before I can get mad at you because you know you're wrong, like with the garbage. Oh, my god, you see what she did. She just flipped all of this, and now I'm in trouble again just fucking nauseating. She knew not take responsibility for it. Blaming the nozzle was a one hundred percent me, except for that part that you and of that survived my childhood by not taking full responsibility for days that were not my fault responsibility for a little lazy
ninety percent marriage was body that I read the nozzle off. Will your fifty percent of your balls you hurry now because for them
the first time you came to the car to get money. Is you put the nozzle by god? I knew I was in trouble. I knew I was, I said, look in you're not in trouble, because it was my fault. I should have gotten out and checked it.
but users, including rearview, mirror I did look at their everywhere. I didn't see it, but you know
using the powers. New pomps also puts the nozzle back.
here,
hey, I'm getting a lot of fan mail. There are really upset with you posting metal,
instagram last night last thing she comes in all says: she comes and goes whoo lot of backlash for the beamer. What is it goes? A lot of people upset. You posted that video of me with the nozzle was like wait. What is it, namely that no one person that is not cool he has like no shit. Alright, never liked does not cool I've done that several times and it's so embarrassing. I can't believe that he posted that for forty thousand people to look more than forty it's gotta be. Somebody is going to be on the phone screaming at brick crusher. Well, I don't follow you on instagram live with you
It's done enough for me. You see how many
views that's garden.
C mon ami views, but I got like three email saying: thou girls in a bar
we was going. That's what you say is not call it all the things that is hosted or written jokes about,
a thousand times I say? Go there had been the nozzle out
turn on the gin joke, I could have maybe done without fallen. The chin will end one time during oral sexually imparted on my phone and see how you're getting me back for blaming you for the garbage and the nozzle yeah. You see how you just did that you are a fucking amazing. If you didn't have,
the house would, by the way I know joke. I would definitely divorced me by now when you are
taken that this morning
Lastly, let me use I'm just gonna get
I am just going to get out of bed, I'm just going to end up waking up. Do you know how how fucking
How long would it lasted with me if I could never have got them, but will you please you fuck in you
shock violently, then not. I woke me up. I be like this. We have
excess, many different rooms,
you know I so funny is okay, so last night, work
birds nor is really badly really bad, and
so and there's really not much. You can do about it. It doesn't matter if he's drinking or not
it doesn't matter, if is on his side or on his back and there's. What can I do is not burt's fault, but I can't sleep. So is one of those like lose lose for me, there's nothing I do, but just move so
I'm not getting enough sleep, because I can't sleep with the snoring, so
how has this morning was like? I can't wait for me.
his leave home. I am going to have my own bedroom. I think I think this idea of like back in the day when the man, man and the woman had their separate bedrooms, was not a bad idea, because I just don't
get enough sleep?
ever- and it is not- and I was thinking this morning when I took that now- because I was so tired-
I'm the one person in this house gave that can fall asleep before the lights are out and will sleep all night long, except that everyone else, dogs, cats, people in this house wake me up all night long low and if everybody we just leave me alone, I am the best sleeper bosses. You, everybody weggs mia. You have allowed in a show proof coffin. Oh my god,
I'd be evian, Heaven George,
his bedroom with the door closed bedrooms a bathroom. This looks like a cave and so as soon as she moves out, I'm really significant. Jesus like yours.
They play the eu and is not your fault. You know, and I know a lot of women get really mad at their husbands began. I really was not what was not looking for this. If anyone has a curious snoring,
cured a layer of saving your jacket, usually bad, because
Yours is the shape of your jaw. You were the same thing as georgia,
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oh well, I was in the copy them in their turn, gallowses ribbons of our austin.
You guys, gonna love this one.
This progress are released this week because I want
I've been a fan of rob wriggles for a long time. I think we all have these
a part of them american lexicon. These days of when it comes to common, you think of
rob wriggles his ease on nfl fox, he's been in all the big movies. Twenty one jump street. He just easiest all around
he came in. I don't know if he knew what the podcast was gonna be about, or a few is like, like fuck, like
Sometimes you guys come in the leg. Hormonal fuckin talk to this,
mocha, don't know him. He doesn't know me, and you know Jim oak
No I'm trying to be fuckin hip was said. Jim oak, just fuckin, saying a word why you ok anyway,
the thing that really fascinated me about robbery go when I first met him,
I never met a when first heard of him. I heard he is a marine and that he was in the military service and that fascinated me.
As a part of me that
That is obsessed with those who are willing to sacrifice,
much of their life, meaning leave their fate.
listen, go, serve or or leave, give up their freedoms and go serve or go to boot camp for thirteen weeks fifteen weeks and goes
it also fascinates me that that
That kind of man. I've been listened to a lot of motivational speed.
Just from navy seals and from guys in the military. I follow
while the guys in the military on my instagram and there are mine. They are my motivation in a weird way and to know a guy like rob who's in the same career,
as I am, but I see him have all the things that
that I don't have an end and the point of this package as I felt we're very similar, guys growin up and then we veered off.
Found out where we ve heard off, where at what point,
Are we realized? We are men made of a different metal
and he shares at this podcast. But I thought this is
great podcast release this week today,
after memorial day, when we appreciate all those for their service, I didn't send out some campi tweet.
for myself self, congratulating myself for wrecking
as in those with service, I didn't put up
Some instagram like thanking
no one for their service only because I follow
seemed a little disingenuous. I wrote. One out
italy enemy. I know that's fucking ridiculous, and so
didn't posted, and I thought what we do instead is. I show this pocket.
And we'd celebrate a man who really did give almost
breathing for his country. I was sitting in his life, but he he sacrificed more out of a play
is in a business, were selfishness is rewarded?
did the most selfless things it's at certain times in his life, and I found that fascinating.
And a fine robert will be a fucking
creating an amazing guy- and I will say this coming
this progress, I think you didn't know what to expect. I will go
tina. Think halsall them back me up on this, and I think Robert, even so this leaving he had a great,
We had an amazing conversation and you will
absolutely love it. I want to take
robert gopher columbine doing it, because I know that
wasn't it is we'll house of things, he'd normally do, but you can
of this progress. Everybody, ladies and gentlemen, comedian, actor and retired
u S, marine rob wriggle
how'd you meet. Sarah sara. I met through a mutual comedy friend who bennet weber, don't know
of great comedian, your com,
Your comedy circle is literally like
crop circle away from mine. I don't even like I don't know
anyone. You know it
b. I came up through doing improv. More then stand up
I came up through the u c b in new york oppressors.
Red new york,
and you see be out here and then I started to stand up eventually. When I was on the daily show
that's right. Mulatter stand ups, but I met Sarah through me,
your friend been weber, and then she came into some things with:
me for wriggles pics on fox nfl. Oh that's right. You fuckin, so diluted, and only when we we did the Romola roast and-
was there on that alone.
Yeah so and then we just hit it off. So I was like I'm. I want to start a podcast this back into
Seventeen, as at the beginning of next year and waiting I wanna. I want to start
pod gas and I'd love to do with you, because I think we get along and I think we have
report and she's
hell yeah. So we just started it Janeway! That's awesome,
super talented, yeah, she's, a grey lady super survey, lady superfund super funny, she's the person I've said the people there,
in this business. I live said this wrong now that I think about it. There are
a journeyman male comics, we're like you'd, been doing it twenty years and then you get success and I go with women. It always seems like they get a papa
eight years and they're are famous as shit, but then you look at Sarah and you're like no she's working, funniest shit and like she's, like a legit journeyman female comic
I don't. While I eu I'd so rare that anybody gets into country male or female and doesn't have to write
We never got it right. Everybody
grind agenda. Is that it's that
Ten year thing will Farrell told me he said it takes ten years to make an overnight success and it's true
yeah I mean and is that ten years can be a lot of things it can be top of the hill in ten years or you just start to see some opportunities at ten years, but ten years.
As is generally the mark. I think when you start getting either opportunities are breaks. What did
when did when was your first break?
It was saturday night alive, so the first gig ever got so you
someone who
saw
a first recognise. A first recognise that canoeing like face
It starts where you circle, and I see that person a lot I going to look into them.
If you're half hour presents you call this one central, oh wow, okay, cause are met. I remember this very distinctly because
you took your shirt off now. Give up
I swear to god
Are you serious? I would never take my shirt off you, sir Paul. I swear to god. I thought you took your shirt off you and another guy. There must have been another guy, but you were at that same time. You did have our right. I did.
I didn't have our common. Essentially I remember watching, but I
I promise you I was big back then I was. I was a lot heavier than I am now with how heavy I was probably fuck me. I
I was probably for
two area than I am. I know I would lovely forty pounds. I was
but there's. No. My point is there's no way I would take lies swear to. God did my away
I would like to assure him down to his regard. As I saw you have our own and I went well what's up
I've seen this guy a lot.
the minute like
I was talking to someone you know like you like that,
immediately get there's gonna.
Really shitty general, as you remember. When did you remember in college when you'd be sitting with a group of people like girls and guys, and then
you're one body all the girls go like you know. We have set you up with and you'll and there, like you gotta you
Sarah,
oh my god, they'd, be perfectly other and then you're sitting there going I'm single too yeah, there's no one notice and I'm fucking single. I tell you guys, I'm single all the time and no one setting me up with shit. I was sitting next to someone and they go man. That guy has got everything going.
I simply mean go. He was a marine
and an immediately I went mother fucker
I was like god it like. I there's no reason you would ever hate this guy, like you are a million reasons. Amy there are always an alcoholic or whatever, but and I was like and it's and then I would watch you when I was like goddamn you you have.
been in so much shit they,
it's almost like,
I say this theirs.
The thing with. I guess it's not happening with Ben affleck as much anymore, but america buys into you and they go. That's our guy and I go
I think you got a couple of hard core holy shit. That's like one of the nicest things in tourism said issued you're you're late
jet like there's a handful of you, you David Kirchner,
Ok right is one. My friends is remember difference if you see
Debbie gardeners on the others can be good. You don't owe me he's he's appear heart he's got it he's a genuine guy is the greatest
huh. I saw him at a big five down on ventura, okay and he comes up and he goes crazy like what's up and he goes I go to u and he goes by and waits for some guy who works with one goal in mind: I'll probably get them some that's awesome and that's gagner. He and I do a charity event in Kansas city because we do because we're both from Kansas city. Of course, you guys do okay. So what's what's what's your flaw, then? How can we don't have time? I got so many, it's ridiculous.
I can be lazy. I can be grumpy as all that, though I
Well, sometimes I get by. As you have talked to my wife, I guess she's a terrible listener, maybe a horrible, as I don't think, I'm a terrible listener. I I do work on my flaws. I do I try to self improve all the time.
So I try to improve. I think, though,
I could buy would be a better listener. Probably I know
ass, the horrible little yet I think we can all probably better listeners yes. So what so you
We were raised in Kansas. I was,
in Kansas city, kansas city missouri overland park kansas, which is a suburb of kansas city. On the kansas side, okay, I I hesitate to say Kansas city kansas,
because it is different. It's
can Kansas city split down the middle between considered kansas and Kansas Missouri,
A lot of the nicer stuff is on can consider. Missouri side
a case in Kansas. Is more industrial, complex type stuff, so two old men rougher there's not much to it, although it is getting built up, but over,
park. Kansas is a really beautiful suburb of kansas city, but it's on the kansas side. So I'm from Kansas, I went there
in
major member this. The answer.
A championship?
Eighty eighty eight
Yeah I went to their game
nice emma. My uncle was a big lobbyists and that's my experience with kansas city.
it's going out there to Kemper arena back in eighty eight and yup. Well, that was a good one, because that's when Kansas university, one with danny manning manning- and so I imagined It- was rock and pretty hard. It was really awesome. It was a really cool experience with my first time like
I'm arose first time. I got it,
hotel and there was porn available and I was like
plaza, kansas city, classic, a closet gave hosts ozma in ninth grade, and I was like
my god. I want to get porn more on lower end, but I was like it's going to come a bullet bill. I know now how little the grown up pays. Attention to a hotel building is bad yeah. I would have definitely loaded up so so
you city, we're gonna, like parent,
together with the other sister up. I had live on older sister, one one older sister, whose outstanding and I had to
great parents that are still married to this day, fifty five years into it. I guess
and their friends.
aztec, everybody's happy and happy unhealthy deployed sport in high school, I'm to see how similar we are, and why you
I had so much more success them yeah cause. I really feel like I really like when I first saw you. I was like
this is the kind of guy I would have grown up with is a colleague I would been friends with grown
go to www authority, then we would have
I moved to new york together. Had similar experiences are like like weep, I feel it
we would be on the same path. So my goal is to find out how silly
our paths and we're u diver less and and and and succeeded as to be
when you say: laziness I go.
if you stay out of bars until four in the morning and you're like oh, no, no, I meant, and then I have a hard time getting to the gym at me. Like I didn't write my ten pages on my script today. When I only wrote five and I should've, I should've done ten damage,
I am so so high school, like what kind of like I had a very I would I dunno, I guess the more I the more I live around the the world and the country and the more people I get exposed to and the more I learn about other people's journeys. The more I realize just how great a
childhood. I had a really did. You know,
so funny when they first I'm talking about white privilege, I am,
mark the idea, and now I look I'm really getting to a place where go. Oh aye, aye deadly
benefited. Am I really had a very low blast childhood? I struggle with white privilege a little bit, although I did what I did just finish reading. I know I'm like five years behind on this, but I was m woke for nineteen. Eighty five, I did. I did just read: outliers amalgam, gladwell, spear, ok and
wait really dives into the effect of community
and what that means too.
Your ability to succeed,
and he really does some pretty interesting historical work.
talking about just,
the community, your raised in the opportunities you get in that community and bodily and goes on and on and on, and it could be
making an argument for I want. I want to say why privilege but privilege be ok,
it applies across racial lines
The community and the opportunities you presented with an end the amount of success you have as a result of that
and it can be generational, so it was
was a fascinating read on that, but at the end of the day when I-
cutting milkweed out of the bean fields and my
and father's farm. You know
well fourteen hours a day in the summer
recall anybody here. I didn't
and feel like much privileged there when I was a dirt, is real and it didn't feel like a lot of privilege when I was in boot camp. I didn't feel like
stand the historical references, I'm not oblivious to that you, but at the
the day, it does come that there is a it's a mix. It is, I believe there is a mix between
the community and
opportunities
presented
and I also believe that at some point you have to be responsible for your own life, you,
to be sure you can point to society, you can point at your parents, you can pointed everybody you you could.
spend all day make a laundry list reasons why your life-
and what you wanted to be, but at the end of the day, is just you
It's you were born naked. We come into this world egg. We're gonna die naked alone there. He is so you have you just made every single one of my listeners. Deckard there's a bunch of fat like eyes, would beards going you're fuckin bus,
my god them ass. I have no that's what I'm gonna go. Get em, like you know, like I remember, seeing you easy politicians making these speeches about how you didn't earn anything in your life, and you didn't do this and you know it's it's the taxpayers who built the road so that you can have a business and ok
yeah, I mean sure if you want to make that your truth. Fine, yes, there that there are elements of truth there, but at the unity who
put their name on the line who put their money on the line who risked everything the individual
whoever that individual is they're. The ones who risk at all
reputation fortune,
relationships everything.
there is a mixed between community
individual
an endless somewhere in the truth is that is somewhere in the middle? Is the truth? Are so it's it's, it's it enters its it's an interesting debate. I did enjoy his book. Malcolm's was a few
Likewise, I am listening to feel like we do things. I'd said as an adult I'd that I read this is gonna sound ridiculous one of your bouquet
I wanted to. I feel like I needed. I needed the
turn experience for me was very defining and because of humility,
the when you got a haze, pretty aggressively
and there was a submitting that happened where I think it helps you
redefine who you are and what you are, and I looked at it as an adult I said,
to a my bodies. So we stronger a bootcamp we should see,
and organise a boot camp.
obviously I will be going to eighteen weeks or thirteen weeks whatever it is, but like, but go
way and sacrifice a little bit to see
What I'm listening to you! I go. I bet that was a very
big, defining moment for you. I was I was nineteen years old and it was devil
a transition. It was a transition from boyhood to manhood
no doubt about it, because we
new step off that bus and put your feet in those yellow footprints and the jewels. Georgia start yelling at you, you're alone
here you can't get back on that. But you can't call time out. You can't say I don't wanna play anymore you're in it.
And that's when you realise, oh, I'm gonna have to get strong, I'm gonna have to
mentally strong and we have to get physically strong. I'm gonna have to be tougher than ever thought I could be and it hits you
like a slap in the face, and it scares the shit out of you. Could you sit there? You think
just made the biggest mistake. I'm a fucking life fuck, but then so we swedes, didn't you get tough, you just it's it's there
no cliche. You ve seen it on posters and stuff, but you never know how strong you are. So you have to be an and that's what boot camp?
gave me an fraternity. Like you know, I mean
When you submit yourself to a big hole when you say I'm going to be part of something: it's not just my world, I'm gonna submit and become of a part
of this bigger whole. It
It can be inspiring, gambie, awesome and again be something them.
drives you but
here when you find yourself in a scary moments it it's the it's, what
builds character its. What makes you
The who you are it's, what makes you a man,
whatever that means, I hope we can make jokes, but that all day, but its will
makes you
adult it's part of the maturation process
and so you really you don't know you don't know how strong you are until you have to be. You know it's. It's
we're living off your parents and you're twenty six years old. You got a fucking problem, you need to get out of the house, you need to go, live on your own and that and it's going to suck at first that's the thing about responsibility and growing up is,
it's hard, that's what you're trying to do at early you trying to do when you thirteen fourteen fifteen years old, because you know, then you have some help. If you're trying to do to twenty five, twenty six, twenty seven!
You're in a her locker you're you're gonna be bombed out. So the sooner you start, the better off your life's gonna, be as far as taken responsibility so
what kind of what kind of
high school. Are you are you as you exit high school and go into like what kind of
it's why I went to I I when I graduated from high school and I went to kansas university and from in while I was in Kansas university. I went to the marines
So are you remember my buddy went to boot camp? He was our authority for young drug drawing a by whose name has since passed.
Here that version.
and so on, but.
He came back yoked like ripped and sean and he was a different dude. He was
He was like. You could see it in his eyes, UK we went in soft and pudgy. It came out a man so like
and I remember seeing that going back
to me to my friends when I got back to when I got back to school, could you go during the summer?
so your summer was spent at boot camp. Two summers spent a book into summers minute boot, the officer candidate school same thing as bootcamp. Only difference is they're trying to get rid of you really yeah, so you so so
go to university. Kansas joy authority have fallen, have funds pledged year, social out just blast out, not only like. I got the whole.
pimps up hose down parties. Our daughter, I remember that because of appropriation when we didn't know what it was and then you go
you decided to go to
yeah. I did. I I didn't know what I wanted to do.
I was a polly sigh major, the time, but
I really want to be a theatre fuel, major. What are, but I knew I had a. I had my pilots licences when I was an underground to fly.
so I was about to happen. While my grandfather was, he was
he wanted to be an aviator in world war two, but he was too short, so they made him an intel officer
eighth army air corps,
and he always one flanders pissed off that he be because even pissed about it.
So when I, when I got up to school, he was like he's like hey. If you want to learn how to fly up I'll I'll pay for your pilot's license so well, you know what the fuck am I going to say. I was like yeah I'll take that deal
and so I did in kansas, is a great place to learn to fly. It's the flattest state recede, so the whole state's a runway. You know if anything went wrong. I just fucking set it down anywhere
So it is a great place to learn to fly. I felt very confident everytime. I went up
It was our learn on flat, but I took this test called the equality of pay, our test,
and I did well enough tat. I get a guarantee fly contract with the marine corps and iran.
The truth is I I did. There was a part of me that wanted to serve. You know I wanted to know. If I could do it. I was very patriotic guy. I wanted to serve and
So I knew that can be part of my life. So budgets did it
when I also knew I wanted to do comedy and acting. I just didn't know how or when or if I'd ever grow enough balls to go for it. To be honest- and I did I eventually did ball up and go for it. So so, what's like
if you can walk me through the camp tat bit because
fascinated by book. I'm sure there's a lot of guys that I oh, I hope,
If you don't know, I'd, be really excited to introduce you to meaning, like I don't know them personally, but in online, like a tim Kennedy, TIM Kennedy now, jocko will nick, oh, my god, I'm going to I'm going
give you a list of guys, I think you'll really connect with because
they move
a lot of law,
that would not have how you not of the same
ideals that you have and I think they're very similar menu in a different vein, but I think you'll really dig. 'em jocko has got a really great pocket jacket by jacqueline timur, probably the two most inspirational guys, both ex navy seals but they're just like tim's.
really fun to follow on his cage. Writer. Oh Jesus, like you baby, but he was, as our he's alpha he's a hard core domain. I really think you guys we're he's not he's regular. Do you just as much mindsets? Little different like yours is very sum of yours. Like
the recent on because of twenty six. If I wasted here, you know he's like a guy like you get up into a jacko is famous for
or on his instagram. He just post
the picture of his watch when he starts to work out and if it
we're twenty in the morning, every like for twenty two-
and the many shows you the cows on his hands. He is a joggers
bad ass, mother fucker. He sells extremely motivated budget discipline. Viewed argued for both
jack was a great progress and I think he's in san diego, and I
that would be a I mean. I know well enough bees on Jos, biogas to bunch so just
if you could
spirits of of boot camp like your first day or for.
Weaker. First, like the things that stick out to you
Well off your kids school for the marine corps is different than bouquet boot camp. You sign up and you son,
papers and the marine corps basically owns you for four years
you got a book camp in that
yes, they're gonna make you a marine corps,
heck or high water, you show up fat. You show up not ready, you sure, whatever they'll just put you through camp twice until you do graduate like you're going there got you object
schools different! That's more!
screening and evaluating process, so they are, you show up and you have to earn the right to stay. You don't get
just be an officer. You have to
their screening and evaluating you and there looking to cut you
looking to send you home
So it's really a trial
in the end it so it's different, and in that sense the book,
the pressures different.
Luke haphazard there
and they ll they'll just feel just run into your fuckin ready to go
I'm scared, who you better show up, fuckin, ready and read.
Way to go in with your head, shrewd on straight and you better be self motivated and-
we fed and all those things and you better have a sense of yours.
often leadership and all yet
the dead, there's, no time to teach and
I was green. I was his fuckin green as they come. I'm a kid. You know what the fuck do. I know
I've never served. I hadn't done anything, but I I did as much prep work as I could. I got as ready as I could, and I I went
it's in quantico virginia
you. You know you you land
dear you're, in your civilian clothes. You know you got on khakis
a gull shirt and you you go.
and other it's it's very disorienting, because its everything's by the numbers were moving. You get on the bus, get all sit down here. Don't you know,
If so, you just kind of everything's, new and scary, so you're, just kind of out of your element, your adrenalin cooking, and you don't even realize it it's kind of this undercurrent of adrenalin and then the first
neither processing and are you get in lay they process you all night, like stripes likes you literally or carrying your blair, yeah you're, exactly as you show up with jackson
you got no, you are nothing nothing or you don't bring a suitcase
will you bring a you, bring a small little suitcase like legs trot legs to brush and stuff. Even that, though, pretty much is screened and evaluated. Do you realize how this disarming that would be in this day and age? For someone to go? Oh no people wealth.
I want to pick on millennials because a satellite now not on your cause, you know me, I'm always gives the day I've lost my shit with that. Like I'm, like, I said, I'm obsessed with going like
that you know it s us as I more is.
Its videos at my daughter's love. It's this! It's this! It's
who eating they make their mouths and
The sound of people eating set a fetish due note. What kids do just get entertain these days, almost how they
we ve lost a whole generation of americans. Do I watch this video. I watch online
the world's satisfying video. It's got forty million views. I'm gonna be talking about this, always
the guy cutting through foam cutting through foam cutting
foam cutting through foam and then they have a thousand matches and they lighted and all
matches that about their work.
The videos is some
pulling the seal off of a brand new iphone.
And that is what
That is what entertains millennials. This is,
this is: the state of america at things.
America are so fuckin good right now that we
have any fuckin problems. None if
the kind of shit that entertains and gets people's attention,
that's where people spend their attention was,
Oh for we're, so good what we have no problem. One of the videos is a guy.
These skimming salmon, his you're watching a man work, and that is really that's a job
can get a job of your internet. You could get a job for me. This is like idiosyncrasy
it sounds like any accuracy too I'm.
I'm going to say something you will not agree with. That is really it's an aggressive statement, but I feel like
this country needs, is a war
I know. You're, not you agree with that. There was a war cause. I don't know what war really is. I know you've been over there a bunch but like I think that would
bring everyone back to gretel to you not.
I understand, I understand what you're saying. I understand your motive that yes tell him, I'm wrong. What were you going to say when you say like when I said you show up with nothing the idea that you'd have that you have a small little suitcase with a change of clothes, but once you get there you're in you're severely, they keep you in the same civilian clothes that you had on and
you basically after about twenty four hours, they finally start sending you through the uniform line and
you get. Your is two pair of boots. You get shore to pat, you know said a utilities,
and
it's all it's all front loaded. As far as getting your name tapes, you have two central, your own name, tapes. They so amounting god, but they you know, you have
in all happens and that first night or whatever you just get all you should squared away language. Then a shave, your head, and they do it all its very fast
I drink out of a fire hose. It's all disorienting. It's all. Perhaps
and quickly and and your
used to be, you know, what's going on, not to mention they. They turn up this stress level a little bit with with jill instructors,
whoa whoa whoa. You know they're bargain that you're like fuck me. You don't want to make any mistakes, but you don't know what the fucking rules are
and shit is happening. They they tell you, you will do this. You will do that. You will not do that. You will not do that. Is that understood, as are other alright move you're like fuck? What did he say? You're you're, and it's all
that is part of it. You know that it's all part of it. They try to get you off balance. They tried, but it's part of the breaking down stripping down. But you know you you're no longer an individual. Now you part of this machine and they
strip that away and and and now you just and they they want you to be able to understand, orders and how to respond to orders in an instantaneous and da da da Da Da. You have to be a good follower before you can be a good leader, so you have to
understand how to move groups of people from the
in the classroom to the mess hall from the.
from the job back down to the parade? Dec
and if you try to do a willy nilly, are you lose control people ship? There's, like a bunch of
copies running around you know, so you have to. There is a reason why you have drill and bluff face port armed move margin needed so that its
It's a process of learning and ended, but you have to learn rapidly and and at the
three week mark they make?
first round of fuck use your gone, you're gone you're gone really on oh yeah, they Borgia, we all know,
lawyer, how similar is that to getting a shop
top or not picked up
it's it's way, more stressful, believe it or not more stressful yeah, but they they do they they they at at the three week. There's a
We weak borders a six week, board a nine weak and then a twelve weak board and they will
all three of those boards. If you get called before the board, no one ever comes back. Yeah
go out there and try please your case to the to the boss. Man like,
you're, not a bigger blogger, because I, like my thanks for coming,
by holy shit. So my platoon, we have, we started with sixty four officer candidates and regret,
when a thirty two.
Certainly willing at fifty percent attrition. While she was
what was the most scared you were in boot camp like what was the point where you're like? Oh, I think, I'm about to break.
I never I never had. The feeling I was gonna break
mentally or anything. But I was scared. Now, I'm not saying I was cockney long island there was. There was fearful moments. I think I screwed up a land navigation course. You only allowed to failures at anything whether to
written test, whether it
A failed inspection with your rifle weathers is junk on the bug, inspection, whether it
in the field exercise, whether it's a physical fitness exercise. You know like if we do a pft and you fail. The pft means for physical fitness test. We do a combat conditioning course or if we do there's a there's, a dozen physical fitness things. Often
of course, all you so every day is a final exams. Every single day. You're there you, if you fail any of them,
you europe
it's skyline. If you fail to times you get boarded so
I ve failed, like I think I screwed up the land navigation it was
land navigation course.
But these mailboxes out them out in the woods and you have to
your compass and you shouldn't ass myth, and then you have to go, find that little mailbox in the woods and you're doin overrun down hills through valleys over creeks. You know,
at night in your you're trying to an end
If then, you find the mailbox and on the mailbox is written in number than you have to write down that number, then, from that mailbox that you get the next as many have to shoot another as myth and head off into the woods to find the next mail box in the next few months, the next mailbox
so anyway, I managed to dig it up and I found the wrong mailbox or whatever and and and then I got set off on a course of a bunch of wrong when so anyway. I think I failed that night course
Well, then, then I mean I can't fail anything else. I can fuck anything else for the remainder of the time a meadow says, so
I remember I was very nervous because closer to drill was hard for me,
I was new to it like the prior. Unless a guy's dead dead already been through boot camps, for they knew probe closer to drill pretty well, I didn't one of them
you have to do. Is you have to get out in front of the protein and lead them in closer to drill? So you know,
you have to run them through a series of drills. You know we're gonna
It starts out. You have. The card is like a little three by five cardinal says: are I we're gonna step off?
You know we have em, do right shoulder arms. In a la face march.
left oblique right
turn your you have all these things that you have to run them through. Well, if you say it on the wrong foot or do it on the wrong foot or give the command at the wrong time
you're gonna run your vulcan platoon into a wall or they're gonna be out of step beneath its turns into a clusterfuck
It was very precision, so
I knew that I was not good at this and I knew I couldn't afford to fail anything else. So, as
got closer to the fire. You did the exam on that the review
I volunteered to take more fire drill. Fire watch because
night we're gonna. We hurried hours, you had a mandatory and our sleeping a well readily with zero. Four hundred, you know we want
bed legged violent, o eight o clock, and then you once you are in your rack, you couldn't get out of iraq.
Unless you are on fire watch this review.
Fire watch than you could walk up and down the squad bay. Well, I would walk up and down the squad by practising my drill practicing
The wind to give the prefatory command when italy execution commando what foot all this stuff. Now
whilst an hour of sleep which, by the way sleep is worth gold at lcs because they run you so fuckin ragged. You know you. When you get in iraq, you just fall asleep as you're just out and about
give up an hour every fortnight and volunteer to take firewall, so I could get my fuckin drill down and it paid off
and I did great on the drill really yeah, but it cost me an hour of sleep every night, but also everybody in my platoon thought. I was fucking great because it's like this fucking guy's, an idiot he's volunteering for fired. You know, watch jerk off
I would take other guys firewall, maybe like thank you because they want to sleep.
But I knew if I didn't for, can do it fail and I wouldn't graduate so you just
make your choices, make your decisions wow
that yeah, you know it's amazing. As I hear you talk about it, I realise how
Ingrained that experiences
and your dna like, like you know,.
When you there I there was a
you're. The timer is obsessed with the videos of
marine, getting called out by real marine at target. You ever see those I've heard about them. Yeah, that's stolen valor, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. There was a guy there's a guy who's doing stand up at it out of
also the city, but there's guys, do stand up. Who is talking?
about marine onstage but who's doing it. For the applause break,
I am sure. Maybe he did something but,
he was at the bar. I was at the bar and there was a marine. There was. I said some like what
What does not. Are you in the guide didn't know the right way and immediately the guys like yo in and it's it's
it's it's like saying: hey, do you speak spanish and someone goes oh yeah see, and then they say something in spanish. Like I actually really speak, spanish
but I would win when you talk like this. Are here I'll ingrained it isn't your dna.
Our war. Was it too
what was your instinct when you got
out of this experience and got into comedy and realized what an altar
The world comedy is what
instinct with she
sharing that side of yourself with them.
With the marines. No with with comics legs, I'm gonna call me I was a meat head like I was
I I was. I was the number one party animal in the country, love at rolling stone magazine wrote a six page article about me, calling me that
one party and when the country oliver stone watching all my life, I was the number one. I was the number one party animal like it was.
was a big deal. How do they? That is also by the way, how how will it? How did they gauge there? What's the criteria with the metrics vigil wrote an article about me that they,
they were women today must follow me around. That would support a state to write an article about about in a bomb
at school and their liquidity.
like a liaison and so the nay
they called around and a bunch of people said. Oh you gotta stay with bert. You should stay with bert and then he called me and I was in the middle of a bong hit and he was like. Oh my god. This is like written
the stars, man yeah and he was like It- was like: oh my god, you're taking a bong it and I was like yeah, he looked
before we go again say
for a week- and I just party with them- you know like this- is
before the internet. Really, so you couldn't do you like,
If you add someone there, you did stuff with them, you can
I just selling your couch right. How do you? How do you interact with the people you were with? I remember those days. I spoke to this man for seven days straight and he was like and then
came back in their like worries the article about you and so
the article I said I wanted to be comedian.
and once in tell
and then I was like fucking move to new york, but when I got to new york
I was
acutely aware of how how different
My upbringing was than everyone else I like and getting there. I was like a member.
and I remember realized. I generally read a book.
I am sure that you'd read books and stop alike,
I am really read books and I did
get references. The people said
like, and I was like woe like things that were like.
I remember I said fag end:
we say faggot onstage and I was like I was
I mean you could really. I think people did, but in the village you didn't you definitely.
gay, jokes and I was like
That was like the bang, us you're gay, unless your guy and I was a member of a mere like what
Friends, coming up and be alike
more one of my friends, I don t like black, jokes,
racist jokes, about blogger people like him, and I think that that part
of life that happened in Florida doesn't have been everywhere
and so like what part of you going into? U c b was like almost like.
I don't know if this is but
I can only imagine that being a marine, you c b is almost a hindrance as opposed to like had you been
no o. My parents were both transgender used to be like ok,
if it- and you know I mean you know
absolute actually the opposite really
yeah I got to I to new york. I was still on
active duty came
so I was actually is that almost like is almost like,
not having your visa cleared. Like you, never know. If you can feel like you're at home. Oh yeah, yeah no means you're you. You are full time active duty. You're, not you know in the reserves you're, not they don't just call you! You are subject to your marines.
when for seven so
I. I was a captain at the time I moved up there from north carolina
and with the intent
of pursuing comedy and acting?
so when I gotta, but I dont know jack shit. I don't know anything.
I just knew I was in new york and I was too it was time to try this and
So I I remember the first thing I did. I found a stand up. The key
what's your on the upper east side and
There was a guy there. How dj's, I want to say, like DJ sweeney. Oh Jesus, really nice guy now he's fine, but he was teaching a stand up class right, so I was like well. This is where it begins. This is where the journey begins.
so I went in and and
paid my money, I sat down and I'm sitting in the thing and I'm all excited because this is happening. Then I've got my high and tight. You know I'm still active duty marine, so I was, I would work in my marine office right there in manhattan for
seventy five every day and then I go home like everybody else,
and I would but I would go pursue comedy so I went down to capture lie.
I always visualized comedies- stand up the way I want to do. It was more storytelling like eddie murphy delirious.
that's what I grew up. Seeing and thinking this is amazing or bill cosby himself telling stories you know those were the those were.
Amazing to me and
Dj was of the school of three jokes per minute: stand up a set up, punch set upon set a punch in that's how we do comedy kids- and I remember thinking well, but that's not how I want to do it. I want to tell stories- and
and I was green. I was naive. I'd really never done this kind of stuff before and I was scared, and so
you know when you're in that situation,
guys your teacher, you'd colonel you,
acquiesce to what he has what he wants, and so I I kind of shelved what I
secretly wanted to do what I thought it was me.
and I tried to do at his way and I hated focused
In fact I was due to the worst whether these data- I was- I I don't even know how to write this stuff. I don't even know so. I was coming up with just.
What I considered corny happy average shit. Well,
This class you get to get up and give due a five minute show. That's your thing and you gotta bring some people are a fact that I was a bringin anybody. I didn't want anybody to know about this fuck, your worst part of rigorous, as is when you at your word. You tell your friends, I'm like I'm. No one seen me until I'm ready for someone to see me, but ass they did bring. People together should be here any minute, fuck you, I'm not
I didn't know anybody. I didn't know. I just fuckin moved a town. You know I want to tell it to marines my office now. So I was like art
So I got up and I did it his way and I remember getting up
that stage and
I had an adrenaline rush. Wash over me.
TAT I had never had before, and it made me light headed.
It sounds silly, but I it was really. It was a fight or flight type of adrenalin rush and I couldn't fight and I couldn't run
and I had to stand there.
And so it actually turned into more of a fight than a flake. As I couldn't leave, I was on stage so it turn into of that kind of. I had just do it and they ve,
The tape you back in this back in the late nineties, so they ve,
you take three
I came off the stay.
Age and really unaware of what happened.
I mean it sounds so, no, no, not really. I was kind of unaware of what happened here. The handed me, the vhf tape and I went sat at the bar and I order
jack and coke double it and I fuckin
power drill, a drink, languages, coke and ip?
Where did home, and I was like fuck
then I thought that sucked I hate
as I made the biggest mistake, I'm alive because I quit flight school in the marines.
that I could set myself up to pursue comedy and acting
so I was like I just fucked up. I could be flying planes right now. I could be flying.
flying fuckin top gun,
and what am I doing sitting up here in new york,
I just fucked up. I fucked up. This is bad news because I dont want to do that anymore. The fear was way more than I thought it was going to be the com
I didn't like the style I just I was like nothing fits. This is like a small shirt
have to wear it out in public about fuckin aided. So
I'm down on myself, I'm down on the whole thing I go back. I watched the age ass. It went fine
It was not as bad as I had made it out to be, but I was so unaware of myself like as that
the look you gave and that's the things you said and those rear. Ah I don't remember any of it like it was. I was just trying to get through the damn thing
So anyway, I'm down I'm out, I'm bummed out.
Lamenting to a couple close friends and
one of the friends I'm lamenting two says you know I got a friend you should reach out to him and talk to him about comedy, because I think he could maybe help as I.
at that point of desperate. So my yahoo yeah is my friend Dave kouchner,
well. Then I go. I go okay, but I go. He does what he doesn't have. Time talked to me he's on Sarah alive. He, like
This is like the most annoying thing I could do to the sky, but
like, I said, I was fuckin desperate, and this was
close personal friend you also it was. There was a good
action. It wasn't like
It was still a comical silly.
Ok, so I fuckin called and said: hey dave, I'm sorry to bother you rob I'm a friend is so and so.
anywhere. They said I
I believe it may be held me as far as just
standing where I should start as I'm trying to get started in this business or
in comedy or whatever and
Dave couldn't have been more patient and more understanding he's like our. I will use. What do you do and tell me what you do inside? I said,
I told the store that I just told you
he goes are well shit. He goes
need to try improv? These sounds like
That's what you are maybe looking for, and I said well yeah in algeria.
I thought I was gonna go to second city in chicago and also from.
He will listen. I've got some friends that literally just moved out here last year,
started a little theatre.
In our downtown or whatever in the called the upright citizens brigade the. U c, b, o my god, that's the
they're at the very beginning. So I was like I was like okay and he goes go down. They they do show every sunday night called ass cat go down and
out the show- and if you like what you see gourbi
talk to the guy's afterward matt walls, besser amy polar.
in you, these guys tell
when you're friends may they know me, and I think
I am not mistaken: their teaching classes and sub. So if you like, we see, go talk to him and said o four classes,
so I went down and I watched their ass catch do this. Is this? Is outliers yeah it? Really it's not about privilege that just happens to be a water you're. Looking,
direction
the time that I would or
you for the most important people in improv, comedies gets comedy are low
king, to give direction that,
fucking amazing, I was it wasn't it was. It was wonderful, it was. It was a very lucky.
and I hate to use luck because people know, I believe,
not more than artwork. Do you
oh yeah. Well, I think there is both. I think, there's both there's. I think you work hard to put yourself in a position for luck to occur europe
Agree with that, but I I
frustrated,
and I use categories examples you. I know him he's a friend of mine, but I use
kevin orders example light
firstly what I see
talk about hard work is the reason he's successful now
Aren't you does work hard? He works are in any way ever everything but
There are a lot of people that work really hard. The arts successful. Do they have the talent causes and has a lot of factors not just be hard. Work can't just be hard work, but
man lock is
running neck and neck with hard work. Well, there's that there's again more cliches out there, but one of them is luck is
preparation meeting opera.
tunisia is,
when preparation meets opportunity. That's luck. Well,
preparation is just another where for hard work. You know you
get your ass! You get yourself prepared by work
hard and working
your craft and working at your comedy and working at your skills and and working at networking and meeting people and all that
preparation. Eventually you do all that crap
work opportunities will present themselves now, whether you make
most of those whether you fuck those up whether your addictive people
You show up drunk whether you sure you're, all those are what that's what you make of it, but if you are prepared, those
opportunities, will present themselves now, if you make
most of it.
There's your luck and there's your
fuckin, that's how you
get a break and that's how you and then, once you get one break
You're not finish line you're, not done. That's just one fuckin break lumber. You need more log out of the build on them. You need another break in another break in it and that just and so it never stops. When I
god sat or know why that was the first gig I ever got right. I mean I was too
there's back from Afghanistan
hold on hold on hold on hold on get me to wait hold on one. Second, you went to Afghanistan, yes, okay, hold on okay, so you're going to do you CB, okay, yeah! So anyway, so I go down and watch the ask headshell easy b- and
It was like I was Jim belushi at the triple rock and blues brothers. You know the sun. The light came through and hit me and I was like: do you see the light? Yes because it really was one of those moments where I was like this is amazing. They were so fucking funny. So
fucking powers is, ninety would have been ninety seven, those I just moved to new york, seven, the if I
I would argue, had I discovered
an improv first,
probably never gotten into stand up.
I didn't even know that was a possibility, because I think that is what that's how I was when I shall. I thought I gotta do stand up. That's how it is. I got I when I did stand about. I was a lot like you in the sense that I did not
I didn't know how to write said approach. I couldn't even
yeah, my head around it. By now,
I can tell you a story like and so like. My first joke was about taking acid going to disneyland, but it wasn't a joke. I remember people telling me you're not doing it right and I was like
I had to do it. The way you do it, I can tell you at an eight minute story by the way as a open, mic or yeah like I can tell you a story and then that.
I I think I did that when I started and then I got beaten into writing jokes and that's that special, comfortably dumb is more more jokes than I would ever put in my last special there's, no fucking jokes, there's not there's others to jokes, but like that,
Would you jokes because it's in the story of me telling a job well,
There's so much truth. Doing just said, like telling a story is great and that's how I like to do it too. I want my stuff was all personal stories, but
is an element where you can
be self indulgent, you can't just be like I'm going to tell you a story that I love about me. No, you have to fill it out with some fucking humor and you have to fill it out with some comedy and some surprises and you have to be like you can't just be. Oh, I have a great story,
great? We all have great stories now. Can you make it funny?
and so there is, there is a mixing of the world's it's. It's always a hybrid everything's, a fuckin hybrid and saw. How long will you and you should be before like before you before
you gotta get to stay.
Oh shit, I mean I was in. I started well that night after us all ass cat. I went right up afterwards and I was I was so impressed and blown away. I went wrong.
up to mouthwash, set high embargo
am a friend of Dave collectors and he goes. Oh yeah Dave said you might be swinging by and I was like yeah I want to take classes. When do we start?
Well, shit man, we were, we teach. We have three levels level, one two and three
secure sign up gimme your email address will get you in the next wave your. How much is it is like a
weeks three hundred bucks or something I was you know I I was I was so fuckin in it was unbelievable and that's it
and I took the only offered three levels back then and I took
all three levels twice. So
I could get all for teacher, so I could get besser so I could get walls, so I could get eaten robert, so he get Amy polar as teachers. I wanted to learn all I wanted to learn from all of them.
I wanted to learn their philosophies, their styles. You know how
the approach things everything because it was this week
wonderful world and
I did ok, you know like I got up and I'll improvised a scene and I could strap on a character. I could. I just instinct surely knew that
world in
Now it was wrong. I made mistakes and I fucked up, and I did things it, but that's all part of the learning is crawl. Walk run. You know you got to start somewhere.
I learned and I grew and after I didn't courses,
I got on a house team and then start playing with them that we started writing sketch, shows and then
teaching there and then-
I like all this was happening now, while that's happening, I'm still on active duty in the marines, so I got called at. I had to go over to albania to help with the
Gee crisis there, and then I went into Kosovo to keep the peace.
Thereafter, we bomb the shit out of them, my god, I completely forgot about coastal yeah, so I was- and I was in so I had to take me- and I think I was gone for four or five months there
that time then came back and then nine eleven happened.
And I was I had just left active duty, but I was still in the reserves, so my reserve unit was in manhattan. I was the only reserving in manhattan, so I was activated the night of September eleventh and
they closed the bridges in the tunnels. We
report. My unit was called up on the night of september eleven. The said tomorrow morning. You report ground zero in.
utilities
boots and utes and we're going to start meet at one police plaza and we'll go in from there. We're gonna start working on the rubble piles
oh from water frowning, is a temporary in life. Experience September, twelve to the eighteenth I worked on, I worked out a ground zero on the rubble on the bucker brigades
moving rubble by hand and buckets
because there were so
stories of rubble. You know
it was the whole downtown area was. Is it was dust? It was
papers and it was it was ruined and burned out of,
our vehicles and it looked like look upon a post apocalypse dick it looked like
I think I've ever seen before and on a mass of real scale. Wasn't a hollywood said it was
It's unbelievable, horrific.
Actually we knew
thousands of producers, a graveyard for thousands of people.
and we did know if there were any survivors underneath the
all this rubble and we couldn't bring in heavy machinery for
you're cavan, because we thought there might be people under their twenty six of the time. Twenty. Now, I'm thirty,
and I was I was still a captain, and so we work
we work down there for a while and then when they move me up to one, please ploughs. So I could help coordinate the military civilian efforts because then they started doing surgeon.
recovery as opposed to search and rescue.
and anyway so I was. I was
Everybody was passed in amerika. We just got sucker punched in the worst way possible,
I was an every. I don't know if you remember that time, it's very tricky, but if you think back to that time, everybody wanted to do something everybody wanted to do something. Can I give blood? Can I give clothes? Can I get food like everybody wanted to contribute in some way, while I was a captain in the marine corps,
you know I I knew I could contribute. I had of. I had a green badge, which is a very high security clearance for my job.
I knew they were going to need people. You know we were about to start something big. It was very clear
you don't get to just fuckin attack america and not no repercussions, there's saga
and so I knew they were gonna need people. So I volunteered to go back on active duty. I put my hand in the air Jesus you, okay, that okay, here's what I've been looking for. This version,
of pass the mediately. I will
Think, and I I'm say this allowed loud.
To be shit, but I would definitely go far
I'm doing so goodness business. Why now like jointly
I'm gonna give up on my dream too, because these assholes bombed building here, but it
I hear what you're saying, but it was bigger than that it was. You know to me.
But I didn't mean, emulated, go and volunteer like I didn't, like you look like guys like ipad tillman, who give up
their dream to serve a bigger purpose and you go and I look at them
admirably go. I don't know if I got that
yeah, I'm selfish. I am the problem with this country- nordic, not by definitely our nick. Definitely I just bought a gun, I'm definitely a problem with the country but like, but like
I would do I would. I would
been torn of someone said.
I am I'm just being honest, I don't know if it's accurate, I don't know, I don't remember, but if someone said you need to put your comedy career on hold to go to afghanistan.
I would have been like
I'm gonna lose momentum. You guys don't understand how important momentum is.
yeah. You know I I don't know what it was, but I just
out.
Oh no, I felt it was a moment in history. It was
It was. The biggest thing was probably we're gonna happen. You will have to defend the plate or not only look at me, I'm just trying to explain where I was coming. I think it was just like you're just one of those duties. Well,
Whatever was, I did volunteer, so I then they didn't take long. Central command picked me up on november. Tenth,
which I remember, causes the marine corps birthday. I read
wanted to central command
Before wishes in charge of the middle east, that central command a killer force. Persia exactly
reported there on november seventeenth- and
in november thirtieth. I was in afghanistan
This two thousand one so moved. Ok, woe you're, not you're like first fee
in Afghanistan early I was in first, but I was definitely one of the early. We we hadn't even taken the southern part of the country. Yet I, when I got there, we were in Missouri Sharif in the northern afghanistan.
For an interesting story and I'll try to make it give the readers digest version. So
they sent me forward? I was a captain the time they sent me forward. I ended up joining the third battalion fifth special forces group, which is an army unit and I'm a marine, but I came from central command, so it's one big happy purple family
So I end up joining this unit right working for them in a public affairs civil affair
capacity.
bring out the commanding officer there who was lieutenant colonel bowers
and I used to brief from every morning- use debris brief. Every evening then
I would go out in town, I work with local rulers and work with the local
the heads of vienna, the whatever communities, whatever ban and the warlords and
I would try to help kid school.
His roads, redone I'll, try to help them with their life, winning hearts and minds type stuff
so anyway, cut to this year.
Movie comes out called twelve strong, its
bout, the third time for special forces group gaza going to Afghanistan. First guys in Afghanistan presumes worth my campagna
Michael shannon we're all in it
Their story, which is about their fight when we joined the northern alliance, took the fight to the taliban and there.
Story takes place in october. Two thousand one
and I arrived in november, two thousand one, so
I am in that movie, twelve strong and I
way lieutenant colonel max powers. My former boss,
the guy that I used report to every day.
shut the fuck thought of this a week when you went into this and you're like. I think I got the heart, I think I know the guy. I think I know I'm going to be a little nuance, that you will remember. He used to drink coffee like this
yeah I like it. I didn't have to audition for, but I I did
I did have a very personal connection with the character. How awesome is that? So it's a very it's a weird random small world type story, but anyway, going back to where we talked about. I did my year
and I went owed. I served in Afghanistan. I went over. There twice
from my from macdill father in law, is drilling into the fucking wall. Next to us,
so I hear, and then I came home was the flight like afghanistan from mcgill its law
Is it but what will come? It's broken up. You're, like a sea, seventeen ursus eyes out like a comparable to liquor, assumption
sub enter its see. Five is its massive air cargo plan they can fit.
brad leaves and tanks and stripped down helicopters and embassies. Bad.
Fine there, nothing special, you know, but it is what it is. You get up a move around alone, which is nice.
I think we fly you flowery germany and in germany to turkey than turkey on and afghanistan. So it's like a lotta leg, six long time,
I actually went through. It was becca, stand in decay, two and then down and so cause there. It was, but it's a whole long shot anyway. I got back.
At the end of two thousand and two,
any two thousand three go back to new york and then
I got on Sarah alive in two thousand for,
So when you come back, are you
you done the marine, no, I'm still I'm still in the reserves, but I get to tell him. I have dreams, also now
Oh care, little games like how do you like? How can you like
back you're still the reserve, but you know you're not going back now
so you audition, Brazil reliably gets are alive, the biggest
we'll probably have any comedian. That was one of those. It was one of the reasons I set out on this on that journey was, I wanted to be on Sarah life and you get Saturday night live. How do you
the garret like. How do you tell them like he just see notices. Please also me back. I'm really
uncle sam don't give a shit,
about my dreams, shot up, though they don't care at all.
but I did just do, a. U. I just got recalled.
I did a year. It would be very hard for them to recall me again right away. It will be difficult to be very difficult to do that.
So? I kind of felt like I had a window of time
and
so anyway. So I I won't, but I was back now. I had done my year tour and now I'm I'm I'm just going to go back and pick up where I left off, which is pursuing comedy and acting full throttle man. I am like that. I'm just so funny.
There I always thought we were similar guys and I think there are similarities. Her man you're, very different.
Cut of human being? I must
selfish as far as,
They all are vital.
It's like people go like people always say to me I'll drink you under the table. I go. I don't think you know what you're getting up again like I've. I'm like we're doing. I guess you can't say it, but anyway, I'm not,
I don't think I am as selfless as you I don't
what what was your audition for Saturday night live? Like was painful, you
you rather than the way they do it is they are released,
here. I did it and I think that they do it pretty consistently, but they then-
by people from all over the country. They go to the brain right, people from l a basically lauren and
the time like shoemaker and Higgins and tina
there, the big
Do the head shed so to speak, the head rider and them
producers and the kind of walk around and they talk to the writers and they talk to the cast.
and they say you know hey who should be looking at.
who who's out there that we need to know about, and bilbil
feedback. You know the right as well say me.
Your or you know,
I think it was horatio sands and Amy poor said
yeah I'll- take a look at rob wriggle.
that's how I got the invite audition and
and so I am very grateful that so I that's how you get the opportunity. I got the invite
What they do is they go around I'll invite?
people from allay five people from chicago couple. People from toronto, maybe now cut people from vegas
And a handful from new york and
these they'll say: ok, everybody flies and they all fly written to new york
you get in a new york, they say they put you
the hotel unless you live in new york than you know, but
don't tell you the first night,
is also at a club first nights at a club and if your stand up, do you
asked five, seven minutes. Whatever your boy
asked five to seven minutes is that's what they want to see
if you're an improvised or they wanted.
You do three characters and three impersonations,
one minute monologues for each so
an advisor, so I was like alright, so I gotta create three characters and do three impersonation mom that impersonators, so I'm more of a character guy. So up I'll do
two
I mean I cannot, I was view, will pharaoh's george w bush? That's why
the characterisation the area without you know, then a
ass a darrow hammond impersonation anyway. So.
They call you they say. Ok, the first
I'd is gonna, be thursday night
We will call you an hour before and tell you where
cause. They don't want the new york people stack in the house with all their friends and families die and laughing at their shit, and nobody else is
sure, but so that its very hotshots very
tell mortality, but with a give everybody the same notice. They call you one hour and they
that gives you enough time to get whatever the fuck this places in mannheim. So
the call may say comic strip
live upper east side, some
Eleven year old starving grounds, so
I was sitting in a coffee shop in man had just waiting for the call.
They call me say that's where eighty second and second or whatever, and unaware was eighty first and second mona
so I said, ok and jumping to cabin I haul ass to their get there.
Everybody's converging, there's about fifteen of us. Do member people there were in the audition with you yeah
jason said acres oh
guys it ended up being writers on the show
Some really good stand ups, but I can remember the name of my hair, but our member of their faces, so we
there and they say: okay, you know if you're here, for what you do know again. They'll talk about them. If you're here for what we think you're here for come over here, so we will kind of move
Everybody put your name in the hat,
I'll put our name in the hat makes it all up,
first person up.
draw the name out, rob riggle
fuck me I gotta be first fuck. You know this is bullshit the crowd's going to be cold that are going to be warmed up, I'm going to
what about the other respect the disease stand up and I went to come under due carriage where the fuck fuck box on haven't spoken meltdown of scream and fuck you, in fact this is bullshit.
It's all internal saying anything, no poker face. I'm like our. I says good, you know, but I'm
suspicious, I can be, but I got a shakedown shit off
cause, I'm not gonna, be my best self of amendment. If I'm still haven't a fit,
I go outside and I walked around a little bit. You do
What's around the block, as we had time for this thing started,
I'm doing all the fucking self coaching. I can you know this is good. This is a good thing. You're going to go out there you're going to rocket,
because you gotta do that shit, you you! You know you cannot allow yourself to get dragged down. You gotta try to find the positive and you got it. You got exactly
so. I fucking get up there.
there do me. I come up
and I just
do what I gotta do. I do my fuckin characters, rehearsal monologues and got some some far.
bits that I thought worked for these different character. Try to show a range of characters and stuff
I tried to be timely, was like what's in the news this week in so it shows that I can be timely and
Jeremy Shockey, who was a tight end for the new york giants at the time, had gotten himself.
in trouble during two.
Meaning camp by saying
something that on a sunday, homophobic or something that so so I I
I play jeremy Shockey cause. I was a big guy at the time, so I was like I can pull off a football player so that
Just I did some bit about that. You know
here is basically him apologizing for his remarks and talking about how much he loves working out with the dudes, and it was basically oh how much how gay was how gay he was. But anyway, so I I tried to show this range of characters and timeliness and data on I, and I I did my shit. I did six minutes and I got the fuck off the stage and that's all you can do.
everybody else all the other fourteen got up and did their stuff too,
and my partner rob fuel a comedy partner mine. He audition as well that night,
the
Then then, that's it! Then Lord Michael's, a sitting out there tina face sitting out there,
Michael shoemaker, end and Higgins said not there and there why
and now and then taking notes in the land and the deal
as they will call you if you're coming back the next day society?
ok, well, shit,
So what does a software or sent on the curb smoking cigarettes in me,
congratulate each other and are trying to be positive and happy in and here comes law
and here comes tina. They all come out. They get in their cars. They're gone like shit. Ok, who knows you know
so I shall go on home, I'm walking home and my phone rings
they're like hey it's whoever you,
the great we loved it? We want you to come and smart thirty rock
at this time and I wouldn't do it again and I like ok,
So I knew I made it to the second phase. A lot.
People from that night than there was like fifteen of us I'd say they called back. Maybe five of us really there
so the others were just said, thanks so much for coming now. We really appreciate it. There's a plan to get home
another is that so
like I'm, I'm I'm out. At least I'm here may have made a second phase
second time you go up Yonah studio h, you know,
the host walks out for the opening monologue. That's where you come out! There
one camera on you, a camera man and a and a floor manager, and they have a
ethnic table set up over there, where the crowd were. The audience usually is an again its law
and tina
maker and Higgins. They're all sit there, maybe one other,
opel senior writers, maybe
and they've already seniors or the border senior shit. You know they saw it last night in a club full of people so they're there
they tell you
surprise. Nobody laughs, vienna, there already
senior staff, but I ve seen everything by the way, so you know don't be bought.
now that all laugh. It's no big deal just do your stuff. The cameras on you said everybody back and all the embassy executives back and burbank can watch you and they are there. No they're going away in on this too. So you're really kind of reform for the camera and and and see how you look on tv and how you do and even for the burbank people,
ok yeah. I appreciate that helps the
walk you out. They get you! Why
for another put the wire on you and they walk ya me say: ok, you can come to retain
unity, all this great gray and by the way
I headed down a little bit. Don't you last night, was you know five to seven minutes, try and get it down to four minutes. If you can,
so now, you're having a kind of stress out about like we're doing. What do I cut? What do I do? I cut that character characterise cut this too.
yet in the wood? What they want to see you don't know what the fuck they want, but you just start playing his mind games. I think it's built in, I think
built in distress you out, because europe there testing you to see if you can handle life. What can t v notes is a stress case. It star is not gentle. You know shit lives, alive tables live to the fucking country, so
you go out there you go on stage. Lauren was very nice. He guy came up and shook my hand and said rob dude very nice job last night. Do you have any questions for me? No
I don't
okay, great will just to you dear thing and have fun and anyone sat down- and I am here-
had spending a little bit. But here goes and you
out there, and you say that first joke and it's fuckin silence closure
I spoke to remember now. I don't, but I just remember the silent. Can I tell you what my first show could have been about you? What I just-
back from serving in afghanistan to start now
yeah. I realized what a sacrifice that fucking this goddamn country fucking. Please be. I have no idea that might have turned him off. Actually you know fucking. Oh my god, I would have been like I busted my fucking ass, to get your. I can be called away at any fucking moment, so I, but the the I did say the thing and and it's crickets yeah, except for
The god bless it camera man
the camera man. I see him,
I see a shoulders rocket and I see him cut a movement.
and that was all I needed because my heart, I don't give folk who you are you job, that first joke in silence
your heart rate, shoots to the fucking, concealing it just and then used
It's been through your shit and you lose all that good comedic
hence here and at that
care remain. Given me, though, given me, the chuckle help me bring it back a little bit
and I got through my shit. I cut out some things moved on.
And and then you leave many says, thank you and then you leave
you don't hear shit for like a week or two you're, just kind of walking around on fluctuation iron, anything about anything about vision, nothin, you don't hear
You know you're fucking, so I'm like
Ok! Well, I guess it didn't happen.
Bummer. You know
My dream I lost
a tasted, it looked at it
stood on the stage, but I guess northerner and then it happens.
the fall. I was standing in line.
I just had a baby with my my wife just had the baby- oh my god, yeah, it's stressful! It's stressful time of my life very stressful. I gotta provide for everybody
from lumley something about going back on active duty like I'm like I gotta provide I fucking alone the hookahs shit. You just had a baby girl so
my wife is with the baby and I'm getting us dinner from standing, a line and phone rings and it's very presidential.
Hello? This is this robert? Oh, yes, please stand by for a call from lorne michaels. Oh your heart drops when you're like well I'd been told I'd been told by some people.
if lauren calls its
good sign, because lore never fucking gives bad news. He only gives good news. Skittles could be the king, so I was like well shit if Lorn is calling,
it's fucking good news yeah. So I was like so I kind of I didn't want to get too excited, but I got excited and
He came on. It was
very nice whose ike rob
we loved what you did very original, very funny. We enjoyed it. A lot
we just were wondering if you would be interested in joining the cast this year, and I said I was standing on a line.
have the baby and I was like fuck yeah. I mean I was all happy and I was very still gung HO a little gung ho marina. She was coming to work so hard for you, sir. It's going to be the bozo little ladies like take it easy, basically take it easy nerd
but I would like thank you thank you and it
was the greatest one of the great
eyes, graduating officer, canada, school and besides having a baby and all those are there, some we. That is definitely one of the moments in my life, where I was like I felt like I did something
had set a goal and accomplished it again,
really tremendous odds, and but I did it and it was
this wonderful feeling how washed over man it was very peaceful and then it wasn't
he's. What is feasible and it was arts and its work is then it was getting more and then you know, and again this was my first fucking gig sarah.
First gig, you know talk. I could averse couldn't first kick minors on effects. I have I been talk about green. I couldn't be any fucking greener. You know I couldn't be in this business, so
It was what was osmond now look. I only did a year there and but
was a glorious year, I had a great time. I learn so much. I made great friendships.
I feel like I deserve a second year. It didn't happen for a multitude of reasons, which I
stand, but I dont know
Any ill will or anything like that, and I was
because then I got to go into the daily show and in so doing her platform at that time in cairo was, but it was. It was just ass. It was,
I got I'm I'm I'm a member of that CERN alive fraternity,
my picture on the wall, I'm an alarmed. I can go back for after parties, city and I can go to the show. I can do things, it's it's it's
erie, it's nice, mistress, nice and
I got in and I got out before I got to say
because a lot of people go on their shown you they get. They beat up in on racism.
Yeah and you never here from a more see him again or there, never quite the same committee equally or whatever it is
I feel like I got the I got the best of both worlds on that deal. That's crazy! I'm going to make sure that we're eleven o'clock and know you gotta get outta here like fifteen, but I wanted to
to that. I want to ask you to feel like
fishing in the wrong hall, but feel like you're,
they should with your grandfather seems like it was pretty tight.
He was and it wasn't. He was his german farmer.
You know get you don't get closer german for he was he was
He was here he was a kid of the depression.
He fought in war to heed
where he went through so much in his life live in a rural missouri,
We are born in nineteen, fifteen grown up
tough times really tough times
just a dirt farmer in mid missouri
and then going to war and dirt former well don't cry
still yea area out and I'm so stupid. I thought he really reformatory harvest time. I don't like. I guarantee you there's a head, sir, who is who has a farmer? They just armies, etc that someone like diamond dumber, the worm store, but the union
he toiled the land. Basically, you know he was a crop farmer and that's hard work
back in nineteen twenties and thirties,
and it was it was a tough tough time and then he went to war. That is reward. Was he went to war
for four years and
and I don't know he just, but
was generous and he was great,
just me and kind, but he he didn t
fools and and
he
if you
he was almost certain
for he, a thief
You did them wrong. You didn't get a second chance.
I'm not. I don't think I'm like that. I think I'm very forgiving year, but you're very, like you're an anomaly in this business. I know you have to know that
yeah. As far as like my my my journey and being a man,
There are a lot of men in this business there more than you know,
there's, you run into one every now and then I'm juggling a man like like
The kind of man who who who doesn't
well shit when they drive their car because they know that what it's like to be punched, like there's a lot of men that live in this glass house where they feel like, I think, that's, probably the wrong analogy, but they feel like that
This it's ok,
and humiliate another person on set or, for you know it's like I've. I've worked with some folks, like that. I know what you're saying there there there are some bad people out there. There's bad operators yeah, there's a lot in this business draws them
civic doesn't because business is full of insecurity,
full of insecurity and and
the masculine way, Jen
speaking to overcome, insecurity is by being a douche.
And it said because
what makes for great, acting and like- I know, trust me- I don't know shit, but what I've? What I've learned? My assessment of it is
what makes for good acting is vulnerability.
Being vulnerable, being open to your emotions, which believe me, I've marine officer, I've
better half my life learning to
master my emotions as far as control them, not master them in the sense that I can cry now. I can not cry could be happy now. It can be said. No, I'm talking about be
in control my facilities when someone pisses me off or dealing
difficult person and trying to stay focused on the objective and not get down the weeds, unwanted fuckin
fuck this guy over out, despite or whatever, but just trying to get where we need to go as a collective or get right.
To go, and if I have to deal with this asshole, then I'll deal with them. So
mastery emotion, but the truth is beautiful, being open to emotions, allowing yourself to touch the things that scare you are hurt. You
that's where you that's all
have you breakthroughs as far as acting goes, I think
Do you do a lot of you? You are so tours adieu,
I do
just as the last one I the last big when I went on was a chris.
To her, we hit
six countries and six days
I was with mega marco.
It's going to be prince princess, Meghan Markle. Well, she was part of that group really, as it was a great group great group, we had to die.
Diane a groan we
megan, mark o brien earlier Doug sister and myself, lacquer erle good, he's a star
I bride is such a nice guy.
It seems, like a god, knows, a cool. Do superfund aid chill
good guy. When you get on base, do you find yourself getting into old habits of like do people to hang on wait when you got on base? Do they have to salute you or are like no? No, I'm I'm retired now, so I'm I'm I'm good. They. You know they don't give a shit and
I'm retired lieutenant colonel
this twenty three years, total nine years active fourteen in the reserves.
and now I know if I go out, I'm just I'm just a civilian now like everybody else, but when they go well, sir
This is this is the chow hall. This is where we go. Have meals am I I got it like. I don't wanna be condescending cause. I know they're proud of what they want explained everything to me. So I try to let them explain a lot to me, but I'm like I got it when you go up on stage. Do you do you have like material that just murders with them
Yes and no.
yeah, I kind of I do. I learned a valuable lesson. Oh I did a I did and night. I did a: u s, o tour in iraq
and it was the first one I had ever done and I cried
I did some of my set from
my club said anne,
did the first night we were in kuwait, we landed and we did a quick show.
and I realized these people don't give a fuck about,
my luggage story.
Or might you know guy sit next to me on the four complain? What do they?
fucking care of. So I started I real quick start making up material about their life and their world and it fucking
old like that shit. They make it about. No, your audience. John Stewart told me that, and when I went
to do this, I racked or just to reset.
I do any advice cause he's one of the most amazing comedians and any social welfare.
and he's been around and it was made.
about their man because make it about their world and their life, and I said, ok
and then, of course I went and did my club act and kuwait first night shows what a good listener I am on. My uber driver was so then I was like
I went back that it went fine, but I didn't feel like it when as well as it should have. So I was like
So I thought about, I thought well what, if I can, he said, make it about them. So I start
talking about their commanding officer tim out, their food as arbiter about the rules of engagement. I start,
talking about the the
because they have set up a start. Talking about the drones start in. I start making all these bits and all this stuff about that
I'm telling you man every show after that was fuckin killer, just killer because it was their world and where we are
when fun- and I
not to be their advocate. They can't say shit there commanding officer, but guess who can shut shoppers fucking? I can't I can't they can't bitch about the food. Not to anybody.
to me, the brass they can bitch to each other, but if I can, I can
Can I get to be their advocates, and then I was starting iraq that she had news. It was a good time
Also, if you go back to new and those I go
I don't have been in a while having the last one I did was about two years ago
So I'm probably do probably do, but I do a lot of. I do a lot of veterans events here,
in the united states. I do stuff with team.
Because I do stuff with we- are the mighty with war
inquired waters with the simplify fund with the marine corps scholarship foundation. So I'm I'm.
Do a bunch of stuff here and in the states the word globally different I've. I've done one. U s a thing: it was in pearl harbor.
yeah. Oh that's the last one I did with the rock we did his his pearl harbor show I did. This was rock the troops. I think it was yeah. This was way before that, but it was
It's a girl. We got in trouble
The one thing they said is don't mention: domey fallen hawaiians and sir
opening, joke was man say, island life is slow at another. Talking about their metabolism.
These regions are very shit and after you go out of the gate, but does that's really awesome always wayside? I guess you get into the eu as those duffer. Not I do I don't like. I know, meaning meaning like like. I don't I never.
No. The brass means why just never volunteered and right
I guess you know, I think thereby think them rewarding tours. I was out there will be some. The audiences are super appreciative of the entire time I was in the end. I served in
beria. I served in albania, asserting Kosovo a sword,
afghanistan twice, I never got a never got a: u s, social as a troop of marine. Never never once knew what
I was even or even states I'd. Never I never got a fucking. You associate that's one of the reasons I like to go back and do it
but they really appreciate, I mean you know you can feel it.
Glad to see it in there and the glad to see you came all the way overseas to see them.
I do, and I just know I never got. I did folds of honor. I did, though, as nasa to show for them, and they gave me this really great backpack. That's all that I visit, maybe the best backpack. I've got my name and like embroidered in the back with like, like I'm somebody not now you are
If you are so the podcast with Sarah is on podcast. One with the name of it, it's wrinkles pics with Sarah tiana rob Riggle,
and
We we shoot the shit about everything we just fuck around it's kind of a fuck around, but
We do talk about sports and we talk about comedy and we talk about life.
also whatever needs to. We talked about like its. If,
if there's some major fucking headline, I want to talk about it, you don't mean, but otherwise it's a lot of sports and a lot of us a crack and
I see you in the sun. I don't fuck sports again. I will re thanks. Man has great
We have a good fit now thanks. I I like it
It did take me off the road though it it made me stop doing stand up really yeah. Well, who gives a shit if you're fucking with your family? How many kids you have a zit? I've got two kids and they're going to be grown now and they're there in the ages where they need me cause. You know what it's like when you're on the fucking road man. It's
you leave on a wednesday, so you can do thursday through Sunday gigs. You get all your we're weakens or monday tuesday.
You're, not in sync with your family, you get home your body. Clock is never sent up with theirs, because you finish your last show at midnight and then
You takes two hours to come down, offer that show which usually means six beers and then
it just fuckin. It's a hard grind man and its it ain't good,
for families I'll finish. My show in
so all alabama yesterday at midnight
got gotten car and drove
driven in drivers, drinking
driven to nashville, four or five m flight connected
Chicago landed here, shot to episodes
cookie show last night rat
at eleven and care
I got my poor, the cigar, those like us together
definitely work like this. Is you didn't see my daughters at all? Oh, my god, that's grinding mia, and then I and I got today. I
in another part ass I was showed a night at the EL said
wednesday, often taken them to a dodgers game, and then I go to tempi this weekend
It's is going to be great games when we play the diamond backs right, yeah, fuck, yeah, that's going to be a six pm sky show watch the sunset hills, nice, cold, beer, dodger dog
you're making my mouth, water, america, I fucking, love it. It's so good to do. Thank you so much for doing this. Thanks for having me, like, I said, I'm being dead serious, I could have easily talked to you for another hour. I'm a natural storyteller.
Like a natural.
and we make it easy. You make it easy and enjoyable to talk to do any time and he's out of you ever have something to promote. You want to call upon gas and promote it opened.
Thanks and if you ever have any of your european and together one of their benefits, whatever feel free
the apple. Do it then the harpy. I I appreciate that definite, keep her mind too,
I do feel like I should say it was an honor to meet yeah right back at you man. Thank you so much. Thank you. I appreciate them, however,
This episode is brought to your bed.
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Transcript generated on 2023-07-13.