The guy's brand new podcast, and this might be one of my better ones. I've done. I know that some people can tell when I like right away when I have a good one. It's most cacher, it's a great They had such a great special netflix. It's called the honeymoon special its reports. Specialists natasha first mosher second, and then they go up do crowded together with other couple, scan like I've been seeing the third part of just one Their stand. Ups the plain and I downloaded the first two parts. But in dollar, thereby leaving. Now I gotta be honest with you natasha destroyed, I mean like really destroyed, motion destroyed, do but I've always known motion to kill like that natasha the changed upper style, a tat, but

in my opinion, yeah and went very personal and talked about her life, and I love when comics do that, like that really connects with me. It's what I like most in comedy, don't get me wrong. I love when Bilbo talks issues but and when Bilbo tells the story about having a daughter. That's when I get invested as an audience. Member Natasha did that and I did not see that coming so it caught me off guard by the way I shouldn't. Suddenly things like shown that it caught you guys off guard, but It is really a fantastic special. It's all netflix! You can go check it out now it just came out last thursday or last friday. I think and- and I loved it Absolute loved it- and I know you guys we're loved to pass on their donna. None honeymoon tour. I think there's on tour, so check him out. Just type in motion. kashmir, It's a great interview because you couldn't make it but man it was, and the last time we entered interview. It was amazing too, because the taj is so fucking funny without we're trying to be funny she's funnier. Let's go

Mozart, noise, nice, you only a narrow the script. Today we did yesterday and today the up to date. Today is leeann. This is what a beast of a wife I have, she, we took a meeting. They said we think we'll have interest in someone wanting to do a script, and they said you know we wanna pair you up with a writer, and I said I want to do my own thing I want to I want to. I want to create my own project and the like. Ok only I was like you know what you said is a lot and sometimes even created. We are to have a tripped over somewhere else, where we know we're working on doing land booked oda room for two nights went in and bang it out work, The story with me made me, sit down and write, gotta love, you gotta tell it was awesome and we kind of beat up the story beat out the jokes. And it was awesome. It was really awesome. It's done. It's done. Done and sent off to the manager done done done. So I'm very proud of you babe, if you're any of my friends in hollywood, and you want to read it like dan Adler I'll, send it to your income, your notes,

I just want. I just want, like friends, that I don't invite anybody. Anyone, like any of my friends, are listening right now, they're like if anyone in Hollywood still see the ads, I'm fucked, they can fucking, read yeah and I got It's I'm in nashville may fourth and fifth, I'm in a hostile alabama on the sixth. Maybe I said that wrong, maybe that weekend: no, that's right! Yeah yeah on the sixth at sundown, huntsville, alabama and then Finally, saturday in nashville the following week and the tenth eleven and twelve ten times All this tempi over in revenue again host in london in time be and then I'll take a little time off, not much, and then I'm in, liberty, township I'm in.

other places you're all over and you have a lot of daddy stuff going on. So your life daddy's delightful, plays a lot acquire. Performers is a lot of graduations alot of school dances. A lot of stuff belong stuff a cruise, progress. We Kevin Brennan's coming out next week, just simply wanted to meet with netflix and make sure my deal was in place before our released. The cabin brandenburg lie of but maybe you still don't want to release them. Another meeting coming up lame throws bridges really does, but you don't I do, but I basically giggle throughout him just because you know it's just so bizarre to hear someone just really just just shit on everyone. It's just it's! So not this business!

its argue for a guarantee you, I will give a preamble. Well in the end there is nobody, does it out loud? That's what I mean is that an element as everyone does it, and nor does it out loud yeah, not everyone does it about. Who is doing it too. In my opinion, ray I will definitely the preamble for their pockets starts disclaimers gorgias some disclaimers like everyone. I love neo, Brennan halfway, He'd shuttle his brother pretty aggressively whose is brother, noble and even met. Neil Incredibly chapelle show and accommodating loses brother neil Brennan Neil Brennan, as Neil Brennan's brother, no neil Brennan, is Kevin brandons brother, whose on the pie, cat Heaven Brennan, whose on third Jesus Christ someone on first, I'm so confused anyway. Anyway, it's it's a it's an interesting podcast, to say the least, but that's next time cause it's about this time. I did ok and they're a great couple motions on of our guest natasha knob there really great couple

No, I'm hanging them a great couple. they complement each other s, cool it'll. There is like a site. That use science to help figure out who Your perfect couple for you. You know that is, that would be really cool if there were only if there were a website that use science to find someone for you. This progress has brought you by e harmony. If you ve tried doing online chances, are you run into it? Come on the list, is text messages, the deadened conversations, random that don't turn into dates. But you have you seen the success stories from harmony reopened. bull fighting real matches. I say this: You know I grew up in the non technology dating life right, and when we did trip flip, I swear to you all my children, every couple we worked with met on e harm. I know I had a lot of people who run the department buildings got there first departments together. They met on her me yeah it was. It was it's amazing. You didn't see couple

per se that met on the other dating sites. But eharmony recall it was always in I mean everything they do if I may take steps, the other say the dating sites, don't in find you a compatible match. If the site is built to help, you find a lasting, a meaningful relationship, not some shallow hook up. It is a site intended to find your future partner. Look. Do you think you would have found somebody on that site that would have written a script for you this week, probable I wonder if they would have gotten me someone better shut up. Considering I had to do it old school frontier is no person on this planet that could deal with you other than me. Eharmony helps bring compatible people together. There plenty of hooks upsides- that's not what this is. This is them. Trusted dating site, or at best. On a two thousand eighteen survey of sir. steam hundred and sixteen u s singles based on a tooth down in eighteen survey of sir

steam hundred U s singles right now my letters and get a free month with the army when they sign up for a three month pursue subscription enter code. Bert I check out stir waiting and start your journey to assess. find meaningful relationship it. Can. Find a play around with online dating apps, but when you re to fall in love and do I'm telling you right now! Love is what you want when you re the fall in love with someone having a meaningful relationship. If you want with me, Natasha Mosher push timely and have this is where you go it the one at that is built to bring you real love, e harmony come see how your many can change your life, go to eharmony dot com and get started and army code, bert b, artie check out. all these couples that met. By the way there all in cold weather. Would you sign up for he army eharmony? If something happened to me, go hundred

percent. Yes, I'm saying a hundred percent, some are looking for a one eyed hook up and get them on the road. A lot I'm so go for one of those one day hook up places I'm looking for someone. They can. I I didn't realize how complicated my match would be, how incomparable how complicated I need to be good at fulfilling. I subscribe prescriptions to medications Can you help me rather script? Can you bought my Our services can be highly creative and also highly organized. You have sex with me within the first six hours be talking down on sunday, so that I well grounded for a week. Can you regard whether or not disregard whether or not I'm sick, and you will catch the flu as well, but allow me to not touch you when you are sick? Yes, are you cool with me not helping at five forty five in the morning when the day starts? Are you with me, based on the night before sleeping until ten am or you call me, waking up at five? Forty five only to technical to go back to sleep at ten am and then be totally tapped out for the day and go workout must be good. At iniquity

how are your blowjobs? There are very important part of me getting connected when I touch down on a scale of one to ten. What would you re? You're broke up I'd start in the army site just to see what kind of chicks I could guide this guy. This biogas is also brought to you by LISA man. actresses blizzard mattress is the matches georgia sleeps on. I love. It is one of the most cynical narrow sleep on it in her bed with higher, because that matters is more a so come from no shit and they also make a pillow and george. The parallelism moved. Add the pillars amazing, driven by a mission, to provide a better place to sleep for everyone. Lisa donates one matters to a shelter for every ten they sell through their one ten programme. That's cool over twenty three thousand mattresses donated so far and one tree planted for every all received available online or at least a dream galleries, and so new york or virginia beach? They are can made mattresses compressed in

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the week after oh yeah, eddie areas there when kit with Canada totally forgot about that. However, get about that and now we are more coming up so. That's it you're only answer now, I'm good. Thank you for being a grey partner. Thank you for me, a great partner as commissioner, for girls in our friends totally and I'm going to the comedy store to do two shows there and then one at the improv I'm going to bed my brain so tired, the buttcrack of fucking dawn. Sorry, I'm going to get in my pool at two in the morning. Just don't wake me up. Okay, get in the pool at two in the morning. Shall sleep with georgia on her lisa mattress? You should because our need to sleep guys. I hope you enjoy the episode. Today's broadcast moshe kasher

tell a story are often it was what was serendipitous, I was glad yeah well, I I that you are looking for a producer, because I was just a fan. Delivering pizzas and I needed podcast and I was being- Jeanne de la body, PETE pizza, pussy implied cancer. I entirely bees, nowadays, podcast right in order or by guess you get into the nose doing, but the more pizza you eat. So it's a traitor so and then he had. You know him he's, not really discrete about where he kind of lives so I was like. Oh my god, I live in the area. And so I was like a walker on that block all the time I know like I go on walks with my girlfriend and and I told me of labour, saw him and uses kids. I would never ever go up to him and talked him ever. Let go you talk to the kids caressingly awry, I get there

If you want a new, daddy, etc, and then you look a bird and say I'm looking for a job, I can make this smooth over. So I will walking around the block and he was out front playing catch with with his daughter, and I was like eyes of the storm. I would never go up to him and then she throws the ball over the roof and she has to go in the backyard to get it. I like this. My check this machine this is so Creepy a certain level is like the daughter's gonna go. Go girl do like I I wouldn't have talked to him, was with his daughter there, but, and then I while everyone was like? I have a home studio yeah. I have to run all this mixing board. The best part was the. He lives right around the corner from me so like. If, if I go like we did a solo podcast now somebody go hey. Can you do like five today is again. we learnt of either in ten minutes. Will you do your own? Now I do a solo one attach to this end. Like, where is called open tabs, I just dropped. weekend. I just keep all the tabs open that road runner, Google, just go through them and tell you what I learned: ass, brilliant and so on

and so, and a man, this one, but we ve so backed up with had so many fucking podcast lately that they like I guess everyone's got stuff go along. The super troopers have a movie travel more, has a special criminal and unity. She did. The honeymoon special would just dropped yesterday, allied anyway, just random yesterday, when this comes out, it doesn't matter that it would you like to know what has happened. Is it you don't want to We promote things you want to promote it. While it's on the area exactly this long window like three months, you really for years, but you have three modally where people are gonna, find it it's always mean the rotation screws like yes, It was like ominous screen grab you. People right now, just finding my specialty milling me use. I have as many emails today as I got the day had robbed you do. You know Few people know this because no one cared, but I was, I think, the first of first to special ever to go and netflix as my special and todd glasses,

and it was so long ago that when we networks bought it. I was embarrassed. I was literally he hours. I was man, ok, like commie central, not interested You know that passing, but we got netflix said they buy and I was like it felt like you know. But amazon prime had said that they would would mean now. Amazon is also legitimate bywater, but I swear to god. I was embarrassed, I remember being embarrassed about it. That's raise the end. It was that goes on for a couple of years and has been that my first vessels and that's all oh nine or maybe twelve. That's what about you. So Now it's like its other animal, its ears away. I perceive it you'd I'd love to hear your opinion I believe its billboard. Interesting as interesting idea. It's bill burr it's also it's also louie and its also alley and its also Tom and oh, no. No, but but bill. was the first, you think,

the first one that had a bill is big when it got their bill. Didn't netflix special and I remember, watching it on youtube an mba, unlike and then be unlike putnam and be my god. It's a great special is one of the best vessels I'd seen a long time and then put out there on the twitter, like there's a great special someone's like dirt. You need to or pillar netflix an admirable what the fuck you mean, I'm not to order this dvd and wait for it and then mail it back and they're like no it's online. I go up governor going online and at that time special was airing and I think oh I this where I saw it, I could be very wrong. tom and bill were kind of married like kin brothers like there's material was similar. Others interesting people like bill found tom and toms fan base is so much bigger than that

I can. I can wrap my head around. It wasn't when he first did that special. His first special is what popped right and my theory about me and Natasha as a warlike like married yeah yeah. I know I do I actually did think I disagree with you. I think that, the big shift is Netflix its bill. there's no question: you think it was Netflix people finding netflix and people like love, stand up and standards ups having its renaissance and whatever, and also like, because of the way that netflix acquires things it's not like it. Doesnt really have an an editorial bent. You know so you're going to have you know you're gonna, have your rogan cigarette bill burned and also going to have your, like. You know, Lefty liberally, o mandy jump german artsy, Joe Mandy, neil neo, bren, anyone it whatever it is. It's so wide that ever everybody is everybody is what I got an email and that special came out this most recent special from cousin in tel Aviv,

it's my artwork and it's in hebrew- and I read it- it's like stand up. It's like it's. I mean Israel now so why should there need gonna die existing? That's it like, I think, there's no quest in a comedian. My bill, bert, move the needle and now and then the needles kept moving. We're sand like I remember when I was at the store with moment dell, and there was like all of a sudden. I mean the the stores had a big transformation and, as you know, in many other ways, but also Looking around it's like why so many fuckin bentleys here and then it's like rob, schneider and David Spade all these dudes that you kind of David spade has been doing stand up Russell consistently, but just I'm talking about people that kind of you kind of What seeing as much before I go. Why all these dudes here, all of a sudden, an mmo very wisely, was like well netflix. Just started, paying like millions of dollars for a set of people are like mere caddying out of like the acting world like we actually still do stand it. I can definitely do stand idle. I have something to say it's so funny. You say that because

right, Dave, chapelle kind of made it so that you just can do stand. I mean It's insane the amount that people are getting. I hurt I heard ricky Gervais people keep talking about ricky gervais Scott sixty million dollars, that's impossible on the overall development deal, that's possible because I would def, I think, that's worth the money. I mean to say that if you say that and by the way I hope this doesn't come are super slanderous. But if you say more, what is palliate twenty million I don't remember someone and some forty million rocker forty million aiming at. Thirteen million yeah I mean I just did spanish, I got nineteen million and I'm like how could this be? I know I got. I got boy got one god I wish I can remember what's funny. Is you are right now thinking about the real number and then you're about the best joke number to say? No, I'm trying to remember the fucking name. I was going to

if you have a dow, but it's not the of adele. Oh monique, I got monique money, yeah you're, you're, doubly racist, and I like that. But it is, it is crazy that, like. ricky. Your vase could put out so much more stuff right. My would I I would settle for a very much number if my next special was that flicks was an overall deal. I I totally agree out settle for. Not much more than they pay me on this one, for an overall deal, and I bet you and Natasha would wouldn't harpy, because you guys you're such a creative couple. To have a home to create just put stuff up absolutely I mean it's like we're in. Arrow right now where companies are eating culture alive and like netflix, as is one interesting example. That's its eating culture alive, but in a way That's not destroying culture like like amazon amazon is pudding

Amazon business model is putting little stores out of business. I me I always say: amazon wants to put business out of business. They want to be business, but netflix is putting like networks- not a business and it's kind of like who gives a fuck you know like in the end, if there's like see: Steve new shows a week and their churning out creative stuff, like that. kind of like a home for are and in a way that really cool. I mean the idea that, like you're doing a special and I'm doing a special and birds do an especial, and cat williams do like it's. Just there has never been a kind of cool or more interesting. Time too, like be a stand up, they can do of especial. I think that the one thing, the one weakness I see in netflix right now is they have cracked and not of reality, programming did you see queer eye

I haven't seen queer eye, and everyone told me yo for real. You want to be sitting in your man cave weeping, I mean. Are you serious at one hundred percent serious like you will all I would love to watch it with you really. I would love to cuddle up with you and bill burr and just watch. You guys, watch and queer eye se and see. I love that right now bills here and this going, I'm not a fucking homophobic. No, I'm not even insinuating. Anyone is it's just like it's nice to because that's the premise of that show is like. Men and not that the queer guys our men but they're they're, very alot of some of them. One, in particular, is extremely affectionate. Kind of, like closing up to these men who are men. He had just. It sets it's kind of beautiful. Like I remember the last time we were here, we're talking politics a lot and I'm like now at this point, I'm feel like I've been like a flawed due out. While gras duck with Paul like I don't even want to think about politics anymore and queer eye. Does this weird thing where it subverts politics and it's like it's? It's it's beyond

but it's like I'm getting your emotional. I want to see you watch. I would like to watch it because I want to see the format they use because I know, netflix has acquired some I'm a big fan of a really really really big fan of like building shows off off the grid shows. Wilderness shows cooking, show yeah, yeah, alright, ultimately everything that is like a c b d. I why cooking and food and travel but travel. I think is stalled that nothing that network and installed and redoing stuff that worked like twelve years ago, and we see nailed it. No, funny show its courts wouldn't do Nicole. Buyer is no very funny camelia is it? It's a show where they get people like what you actually can cook, but people like me orton Actually, you would be good on it to come in and try to cook pastries.

At like an extremely high level and they basically watch as people make vogt the most horrifying like ugly disasters of a desert. Is that on netflix is on netflix, I'm watching I'm watching that ultimate flight tomorrow? What are you? Are you still? You should do a show. I mean that's your I will I would I think I would be probably I dunno a part of me feels like I'm in my last show I got offered. I felt like a failure. I was taking a step backwards, so I was like if I'm not like, I just felt like I've done. And that for so long I want to try somebody I hear that you want to be in a sitcom or something or I mean my ultimate goal, and this is super lowbrow, but I want to be in the four camera sitcom. I've always enjoyed that you'd be so good at that. I just love that live aspect. You want to know my ultimate goal, or at least watching queer eye with you in your man cave What is my ultimate goal? I don't even know the answer to that. I remember one time I was having like existential way. We can totally do that yeah. We can totally do that as a podcast, where we just watch it.

Birdwatching queer. I just wait and just and every now and then we'll have to stop and anyone answer spaceport stops it or there are no watch along with us. You know what I like, there's some great videos on youtube of those that these two black deeds listening to heavy metal like heavy medical. Sexier and then they do that exact thing. They're, like the really there so cool like really knew there not like metal heads at all, is like their listening to like you know, master of puppets for the first time and you watch them go like okay. Okay, stop! I see. Okay, I see definitely what's happening here. I see why this is good. That anyway that's u with queer a good idea, I think you on a multi camp sick. That systems like I would point out to you gonna. Do I'm doing what I like. I think, unlike I think in the long term, like I've, been thinking about this lately, like in the law, term. I think I had a moment. Essential acts a few years ago right after my book came out, and I was

what do I want to judge a great book? Our thanks message angry very much unless it's great bore. Thank you. I'm sorry. I didn't you read it Catherine. The right course had not kept for the listeners, not catcher in the raw catcher in the Asher. It's me such a review, such a natural writer. Thank really is a medium. There's two people were read the book and I went out. If they should have standards, they might have been writers in a different world in the nineteen fifties they might have It's been amazing writers, that's what I wanted to do. When I was a kid I didn't dream of stand up when I was a kid I dreamt of being a writer of books, yeah you and Patton oswald, oh patent as it rolls and lollipops yeah. It was such an amazing book. It really took. and now he had he had the leaning into that. I knew the character of patent. You know, and I think you did to renew your character going into air, but man and both of those books just really really nice. That's so cool of you to say I really. I was very proud of that book. It was like it meant a lot to me to do that. It was like very it was just a huge emotional

here, because a book for those you that I'm red is all about my childhood trauma, which is was severe and insane- and I know what I look like now, but if he had seen in the herds word of parents are deaf. My dad was a hasidic do after my parents, but my dad got like delved into hasidic judaism. My mom is now religious members raised in oakland with a few white kids in any school. I went to raise our. welfare and then got felony drugs and juvenile mental health system. When I was like twelve and was in and out of rehab and in and out of jail and in and out of high school and junior high school and and then just hit the brick wall. By the time when I was sixteen, I went to rehab for the last time it so that the subtitle of the book is a catcher. In the rye, the true tale of a white boy from oakland who became a drug addict criminal. our patient and then turn sixteen. So it's a its amount full and it was a mouthful and experience to really report thanks to, but did you

Would you I say I didn't like. I didn't enjoy the process of writing a book. You didn't like it. I bore it's, not ok, it's my natural extension is so different from stand up right it so lonely stanhope is so communal. That's what's your stand up, maybe more than any other state of committing literally in the world. It's like this process. I owe you in europe and europe machines or whatever you call them dogs. There I mean they, vienna, cause it's like yeah. A book is so isolating yeah you're, so in your own brain, but I've kind of like tat, part of it like, but also don't you feel like its it real. It puts you out there to show your weaknesses in a way that stand up. You can mask your weaknesses with stand up absolutely yeah. I was I remember when he said ma you need- was my editor and he was like. Let no one really go through a punch up as ike well I dunno have. I know how to do that. That's just funny, as I think it can be as fun and then I went through and I was like oh, like hold on it was really like- oh fuck

like. I, don't do this much. I come up with an idea and kind of work it out on stage and I'll just sit where your punch obsession is like six months long ride. Your luck as you are correct, crafting and perfecting a bit and then, by the time I mean nobody punches up eventually, like a stand up, because by the time it's done, it's like yeah, there's no more room for jokes. It's insane. I mean imagine, reading your material it'd be like it'd, be too you know it happened to me one time, tat, Google's reported premium blonde was I got hey, we never really went over your material. Do you mind going over it right now? It was right before I went on stage and I was like sure as she read it to me. She the transcript ends up. I swear to god. Doesn't mobile jerk muslims? sheila visiting my name's bert and everything hot sexy name, bert I call on bed bert bert, sounds like you have on your when I do it then im funny when I read it and I went what am I I make- the noise go, boop boop boop, she was like ok

I mean it's like how inane can you be is? Are you not aware that there's a performative aspect to stand of comedy comedy central, do the central area of comedy. You said that there are like okay, yeah, the black guy said when you talk to your faces. What yeah, I think everyone does. I mean that is so funny that somebody would think that they could read a transcript and be like this isn't really working. But you know what I learned that night take one up before me and I you know I don't mean this once again: slanderous I loved egg Tig bomb she'll tell you she mom. I went up and killed yeah. I had a great step when you watch it on tv. I look like crazy. Then tig looks confident about ass, verify major plugin, laughs and twigs. Take that was so much better than mine, and so I was like I'm one of the best I ever saw was your first aspen set in that field

oh, that was fun. I remember watching that set online on mice. No shit really such a supportive dude. That's so interesting that you would have done that. I would never have done that by. Like I like laughing yeah, I mean that's my my it's it's my flaw here, Here's. My my biggest flaw is, I like being a famishing alike enjoying shit. I don't like disliking stuff. That brings out a really negative side. I mean it happens, doubling happens, but I always to find the glass half all right now, I'm trying to work on a bit why social media is amazing and great and I live. Animals are great skill. Like some like we're? Not gonna go away, everyone saying this bad for us, so I got my I dunno. If I'm lost in my bits, I dunno, but are you? Are you rebuilding right now? I am me too. That's a bit of a process yeah. I mean I've like I have my promise. I did this special when Natasha She doesn't have basic structure, the special that she does a half hour. I do a half hour and we do have our epoch

together we bring couples up from the audience and basically just gonna roast and the other in its cool it, a new format of the special? That's, why I think, like, as you know, there are so many our specials on netflix, like that. I think they're gonna start doing there's this for power. Special. I from forget the guy's name did from england that is on ethics right now. The people are talking about. Allow lot on an aside, I think so. Yeah yeah, I saw an, I saw. The I saw the pope, the poster board for it, no one- I I it stopped watching. The international specials, oh yeah, right because watch it some and ours and I was fucked with my head- some like As someone who tells me once within some, but the planted the seed of it. Daphne, not what you say: it's how you say: that's what makes a great stand up the whose I doing, though, if we were doing impressions of comedians, but not in their acts, just do what they sound like an

when you start listening people dispassionately. Do it acted spanish? You can offer, predict where the folks coming in and it started really fucking with my head or you were like watching those mexican specials in the malaysian one yeah I mean that's another weird thing about netflix. You are like what am I like who, where are we right? The brewery brews best comic, I did not know I would ever be in a world where I'm watching Peru dude here's a crazy story, speaking of how the internet has affected stand, a comedy be, this is pre flakes acquiring these international comics. I read this crazy story because the internet itself is affecting stand up in this crazy way like like because for a long time, people internationally were isolated in their little. Stand a bubble where I, because there was no internet, so they won't watching everybody stand up, they lived over there. You know they might maybe they would get like once in a while ago, a famous special but they're, not you know it's like It was always just like carlin and whatever law story short

If there was a guy in ITALY, I hold heard the store when I was over it. I was in italy riding onto land or two. I was like dude punch up for real inner to the outer living in rome for like four months, and it was like one of the best experiences of my life and like local comedians, and I met this local time comic. He tell me the story that there was a guy who start it in like the eighties or something, and he was kind of like an italian comedian like a clown like as you would picture. You know me, I, like you big kind of silly. My me internet international ricardo money and then about five years into his career or whatever he did the shift where he became this amazing incisive, like national hero of stand up comedy. He went from this clown to this like sort of lectures this brilliant, like didactic, technician of of of the police, so ideas and and

and other rural fuck you're talking culture or whatever, and then then he beheld the hero of you know you like. He is yes carlin of ITALY and then the internet, came out and the an italian comedian started a watch, everybody stand up and I watched you know Carlin, with subtitles or prior with some others. I showed this is this: is this? Is our national euros bit like thing after thing after thing, and then they busted the guy and we're like he disappeared and no one's like he basically he's off the face of the map. What king genius, though for a while it worked all. How do I let him when he was like this internet site gonna catch him? That's what I worse. It can happen in any google's himself when he sees the the

Carlos Maza, the the like a lot of similarities back to back flies to just think of this guy, like okay, goodbye, ciao, a charlier I'll be back in one month, and he just like flies to vegas know that no at carlin shows and prior shows like great. This is good stuff flies back home, translated to italian. Yes, like a genius anyway, there's we taught tweet what was it like living in rome punching up and what's it putting up I've, never done that I've always wanted. To its. I mean that was real fun and especially on a movie like zoo lander, because zealander is a movie that is so chock filled with the cameos. That every day is like a new exciting like holy shit, I hung out with sting today, Steve you're meant staying know. The most awesome guy in the world clearly has made a decision at some point in his life, like I'm, staying

I'm going to be fuckin awesome so that everybody them saying will extend this fuckin awesome came in eight. He ate lunch with the extras. Staying staying three hugged me good bye? Why why are you hugging? They stand because a cool guy I mean just the coolest. I mean the nicest dude ever. and I, who else it I mean I met justin bieber. Also just the nicest dude ever really now come on now is not a bad guy. I do have a very funny story about justin bieber. Also answer: We were. We were The car call a in rome doing at doing a sunrise scene and and he who is justin bieber was there and Natasha was visiting and She had done the the bieber rest. Oh yeah, I'm so I didn't want to get in a star. Like like their theirs. and of energy. That's like

in our surrounds and words even one. I can enter their orbit without like a portal in kind of and an answer shooting scene and staff, and I was like pitching jokes and it's always to it what's funny to pitch jokes to like you know, kiefer, sutherland and and- and you know, penelope cruz and watch them laugh and then you're, like kind of like I mean I don't ever get starstruck by stand ups, but when I'm seeing like some, you know these, like oh yeah, weirdo movie stars. I like that cool. It's like a net neat feather in your cap, the pyramid jochen. They like it. So whatever the the sun's coming up. They they shot all night, the sun's coming up and then Natasha has been taken. An app. My trailer comes out and I was like justin, you remember, Natasha from the rose and he's like. Oh yeah, they connect Because she had roasted em and unreliable and they all I mean after something tat, they re pretty much know each other absence of sounds crazy, but also the present like discord, himsel ard like and she

It's a diminutive little like that to be her. What her opening joke was your mom had you when she was a say something like your mom. Had you knew she was sixteen? No wonder you've got such good dance moves. You are dodging the coat hanger in the in utero some crazy anyway. So then we're like okay, we'll buy. You know you do, buy we're going to go. Take a private tour of the car called bass because it was closed down for us. The car callbacks for this ancient roman bath house, where all of the citizens of rome would come to like workout and bathed, and it was just like a giant la mega bathing complex. You know, and- and it's a world unesco historical side? This is beautiful, mosaics and it's you never get to go in there by yourself, but because it was a production, they shouted all down so dope, so we're going our walking away and we hear from behind us some leir motion. Natasha we turn around and its justin bieber and his squad and there Can we come with you on a walking to a sunrise walking toward the car called us, we're like,

yeah justin bieber yeah, you can shut off so he comes with us him a scooter scooter. I was going to say Libby, but that's the other scooter scuba scooter braun, who, by the way I dunno. If you know him, he's justin's manager. He like that dudes slide, the most brilliant music tactician in the world. He lately he found justin online and it was like that guy's a star. He bought the rights to a friday. Remember that for like something like one hundred like ten thousand dollars and then just like turned it into this viral hit anyway, whatever so we're like they join us. I mean it's. This spiegel squad of luck in his dancers and ate a person that has an orbit walk into the car, call bass and work. I like playing this game, where you know where narrate we're pretending to narrate you know and then justin bieber will narrate one room and it's like. Oh, this is the this and I'm narrating another room and then all of a sudden I see justin do like a uh be bereft. dance move over like security gate. He like pops,

into one of the mosaic. It's like oh dope, and any the dope any grabs. A mosaic tile from in the inside of the this international herald ted, and is I lose any like jumps back out like got me a gift and I'm like I, look at him- and I might my judgment, my gut judgmental got is like it is falls out of my mouth- I just in what are you doing that back and I mean I swear to god like if I had one more second to think about it. I would have been like honest cool man should be reduced, robbed a roman historical artifacts, but I did just fell out of my mouth as if it was a child and he looked at me and it was like He was literally with this look like stop it don't do that

I know those words are heard. All those words together before I know it, but his face was up a new one, no one said that to me in a long afresh, rational, I'm, an omelet have my base right, oh no value his words and he goes on men. Are you made me feel bad? Any pops back over puts a mosaic to Helen unduly low. My we continue on our tour god, the council, we are mourning, grape, what a fuckin story, I would love. just meet justin bieber. I would loved it If you like tat, I would love to get inside their head in an honest way, right, yeah amateur. You know like to really like, my problem is I'm super honest. I'm superadded, some super open so you can get in my head really quick right and by the way, sting is as famous as justin bieber, but you could have a conversation with him easily yeah you had him here, you guys will be in it by the way. I'm not stingy

best friend- and that sounds like right now, but my my homie staying like I'm on a first name basis- was staying and I don't do first and last, like most people do steam borowitz, but is this borrowing? Oh no. I wish believe me that would be fucking. I will be on the front of the Torah yeah. I always feel like somebody's watching me, but but a dude like that there are just that's a really good bit. That's that's a really good visual thing. It's a really good note, just the if- rock stars. Were jewish mick jagger was jewish. What's the what's the I mean? That's I of course again get satisfaction and got a second in various areas of enlargement. When you think about it, I mean what isn't that a regime like K he becomes roughly data revealed. All of a sudden.

But there is something that happens with extremely extremely famous people. I think I mean I've never been extremely extremely famous. I have a partake on this, keep going where they have to make a decision. Like am I going to be a cool radio a person, really be regular, but you can, a person at that. In its regular person or you can be a person it's like fucking, World I'm gonna be a famous person only and walls around myself and that's how I ll be what you're too. I believe that I have experienced a few and is more my past. I think of people that big famous and then it after their head so bad. They believed that they had there, the secret to life. Oh Tom, Billy and they were less now that I've done this everything I tell you is the right answer, because I did this a hundred or so, if you're, not listening to me than your fucking, your life up and I never really never really could connect with that as I came from a place,

given such a regular place in life like such a place, we're like no one ever, thought. They'd get on tv. The earlier and that was not let you by the way. I think I think everyone that comes out of business comes from that, facebook, Then, when you come Ella remember my body, eddie fernandez witnessed comedian, who was famous, make one of me in front of everyone like they were there or right there, all right, they're, gonna, Emma bunny, eddie fernandez is like a regular dude cuban dad was part of the the not sunday, bloody sunday. The bay of pigs, oh cuban, like cuban yeah, but he lives in tallahassee, his dad's, a doctor, really smart guy, but like building up a bunch of his fights sure and he moved out to l a, and he heard someone make fun of me and everyone laughed, and I laughed and he pulled is what's happening to you, during the fucking face- and I was like that- how hollywood works. He works like

That's how men work. You know a man doesn't do that. Bro like are you? Are you alexa, stop reliquary you saleratus you're, literally like alive podcasting onto alexa right now. She just pops up like do so and in doing so is unwilling to did somebody say cuban then got like that. But here are now watch list and so part of me was like we can. I ask you sure who you, this famous comedian? Will you offended by the joke, but pretending to laugh or will you enjoying having your balls busted it What part of me? I don't know, I really don't remember. I don't really remember the joke. I remember what I'm saying like if you bust my balls yeah, then I'm going to like go well. That's my friend burt, that's funny! I liked it. He didn't know me that. Well so it was like it was rude. He knew me, but he didn't know me that well and it was in a group- and I said something, and he fun of me. He wasn't a whack, their doctors lot. I've known that have done real, should the things in which an eddie was just like you smack him in the fucking face, and I was like. Oh it doesn't

like that in hollywood needs. No, that's all men work and that's how that guy should understand that? That's what happens when you talk shit like that right and I was like we were- in talking shit like that he was just eddie, it's really complicated. Negroes know this will have Looking ahead of a hollywood is that You would never let a man taught you like tat, but then in hollywood you would write. And there is a weird by think, but it's funny, though this a lot of wisdom in that there's also, on the other hand, is causing in tallahassee. You would violently assault that person, the wisdom of tallahassee, that's the flip side of it is that there is part of that. That is my friends were I go echo hailed him now. Some of them know all them and they do shit like talk. except the strangers, which I don't do in l a. I don't think a lot of people do in l a yeah like a like. I do like I do, though I gotta harrier, I know I know I look like a bitch guys, I'm gonna, whose areas the year I have this thing and I'm working on it and that it will not for a long time we have this like here

trigger around risk being respected. That, if asked, if I get I never start anything. We ought if a person disrespects me in a way that I just can't my mouth starts going before my brain can catch up to go ago. You don't do that by the way it's bullshit cowardly, because I guarantee you. If, like a big fuckin like bodybuilder looking dude started talking shit. Somehow my brain would be able to stop my tongue, but if it's a person, that's like you know, vaguely not threatening. Looking then I'm just like in the I got, I got a tale of these. I was coming back from the airport once this is a very funny very stupid, exact window into my natasha calls it old most. That's what she calls it rules. I don't fucking bring old moshe. I know everybody's rolling their eyes right now. Listening to this little googling and image, search of me and going like yeah sure, it's terrifying, I'm not saying it's terrifying, I'm saying it happens. Okay, I said to my friend Jake I go anytime. I mention the word oakland in an argument that I'm from

oakland. I have there's something wrong happening, I'm about to go to jail or get killed right at any time. Mamma. You knew that over my doesn't war in a bad place. So I was on my way back from the airport We called an upper and when we made icon tat would do uber. He kind of like he made us face, and I should have known at that point like like Oh this saw this some are because dude he's a big ganglia like I looks like professor, but is very tall like like college, but I, like basketball player, tall, like sixty. Years old, professor of like jazz, look, endued or whatever, and here kind of rolls his eyes at us, and I was I should just like paid attention that q, but I did didn't I jumped in- and we just watched drugstore, not drugstore, cub yet drugs recovery with with the hoffman and the ban

No, no, no! It's! It's angelina jolie used yeah e g and does not, for the first time ever seen it before. So we were sitting in the back seat and he's cup. often a little bit, but not enough to really notice the driver, yeah and we're talking about Natasha and are talking about drugstore cowboy reprocessing it. I never seen him before and we're like and not just to discuss what was it like was a homosexual love affair, or they not or like I like, were they in love with each other, or did he look? What really was going or just really talking about like deconstructing, the film from mars? effective as having never see you seen it. Of course, I I get that and midnight cowboys. They are used super confusing. It's about le jean boy. Moves to new york and is like a big old, cowboy, looking dude, and then he just does what it was like: a high street high street hustler yeah and like he'd like starts.

judge jumbo. It's like turning gate tricks, excelling himself in a gay waving, not J. As this whole, it's really a great movie media. Have they been? They were game in thy cowboy to write or that about it. No writing hats on the bed. No I'm thinking of a baby, I'm thinkin midnight cowbunting, that's what it norman. I cowboys combat Dylan in it were Are you sure not mix will not know drugstore cowboy, is what you're thinking and am also mixing up. The river phoenix movie when he's blowing the guy in the opening scene. Oh, that's a roofie yeah! It's a rough blow job! You have to turn that on in college and be like oh yeah. That's I remember that I dunno. What is it re re? What movie is that's a rough blow job scene? That is one of the and now you're thinking guys, not not a good rough blowjobs yeah, the new fund, modern bang, bus, rough blowjob, but a rough emotional blowjob anyway. So, So we're driving back or do they gave up just like really kind of get to research

half in a little bit we're getting into my neighborhood and- like the kind of it gets into the wrong lane. I'm like. Oh, this is the right lane. If you just stay here, you'll be able to go straight through a little. You know a little hard breathe and I'm like okay, this dude, we get to my my corner. Where according to this, is the problem of over is like their driving you to your home. You know, europe Madeira on this happened in a dress, address what on the street yeah like like pretty and pink exactly another great prostitution movie. No, that's how singing pretty woman pretty in pink totally! Ok! Molly ran what the so I go. Then I

I swear to god, I'm not being there's no antagonistic thing happening with me in the sky. I just go or you can turn left here actually or the entrance to my house, isn't on the street that it's that the addresses on it's on the next street or you can turn left here. The entrance is right. There is like yeah, I'm going to turn but he's blow and I'm going to turn left. That's what it tells me to do. I'm doing what it's telling me to do and I go okay. You can stop the car right now we're getting out right now and just like he's fine and he slammed on the on the break in the middle of the road, and I like open the door in the middle of the road till I I'm getting like we'll get the fuck out of here in a private said. Little get the fuck out of here. Let me out- and we are getting out and he's. I pull it over and over into my drive when I'm like, and then we start like when I know you're not pulling over just gimme the fuck out of here. You fucking you this and then am I the trunk dude, I'm getting the you get my bag in the fuck out of here, and I know what I did to elevate it. Things are crazy. I pop my phone and slight record, and, unlike what heat? That's what

he called me like a dip shit or a little or he swore yeah and I'm like click start recording. I'm like would you just say to me and he's immediately like auditor anything and then and I go pop- the trunk you're getting fired, I'm like narrating, it all world, star style, motherfucker, getting fired today, boy and and he's like I'm not giving you your bag not giving you your back, Now, I'm like a map of plastic natasha. it like old, most, no, no, and open the fuckin gate opened the trunk and he's a? U go inside I'll, give it your wife, I'm like sheep Natasha like nine months pregnant by the way I'm like

well, leaving you alone with my pregnant wife, you fucking psycho, open the trunk and he's like I'm calling the cops on like calling the cops for what I'm trying to leave right now gets on his phone walks away publisher, I'm seen and Natasha Natasha nine months and gone, I'm no longer a human being and like Natasha, getting the car pop the trunk. For me, nine months, pregnant she's like fuck, you dude, fuck, you old, most I'm getting a divorce and I'm like ugh I dive into the car I reach over. I pop the trunk. He sees me, of course, he's no longer human either he's like neither of us are operating in a real world scenario. He's like. Why does he want my bag? Why is he what? What is the cops for? What are they going to do? Whatever he sees me in his car and pop in the trunk, he fell x out, runs over slams the car that, unlike I'm, about to beat this dude asp, must be accurate, I'm thinkin, I is more like in reality. I'm about to like getting

a tussle and probably like get chin checked by a nine foot tall bathroom, but I do think I could have taken this guy. He looked like he had health issues. He had like pacemaker wires or there's something happening with him. Where I feel like I could have killed him, but he got which were screaming at each other and back and forth natasha trying to mediate. You know and he's a get on the curb get on the curbs on like that. You know get on the curb and finally, he finally autonoe how why or how? But he pops a trunk. He gives me Natasha and I go, I go awry or go inside now, get the fuck off my property bitch and he's icon

going anywhere, I'm I'm waiting for the cops and then I'm like the cops I'm leaving. What are you going to tell the cops he goes? Yeah he's like I'm going to tell the cops that you're that you're, the asshole I'm like oh yeah, they'll come in and a p be an asshole asshole PB and he goes I'm going to tell them that I'm walking away targets shitty goes and I'm going to tell the judean understand the plot to midnight cowboy I swear to god. Are you serious through story, and I just go in my mind. I'm like? Are you You win like many levels as, like

you win like I honor what you have done right and that's the best way. I'm going to explain you don't understand the plot of midnight cowboy I or mister cash, or do they have any sharp objects in your pocket. Yeah just reach behind your back. Here we did get a report that you you don't understand the plot, the midnight cowboy that you thought it was. Maybe they were in love with each other and that maybe you're not really a deep thinker when it comes to classic cinema yeah. That was me. Are you homophobic, because that was a great drugstore cowboy amazing parting line from a man whose barely in touch with you so angry. He he he's. so angry he's like become like a federal child of testosterone to be able to pull that at the very last. Second, I honor you, sir. The one applause is hearing historian and going or have a story like that is where my flaws is that of law. I love that are a little bit, but I will tell you this is and want to hear that area short boredom,

I don't want. I won't it wasn't a one night stand a newer, very well. We work together. She was a waitress at a comedy club I worked at and and which one we might have been with the same lady, don't say So. we have one night. We had masturbating in front of each other classic yeah and it was fun and we partied and and then it's a consensual classic. It really was. It was really cool. We all need to franco. There's candles the middle we were drinking. Man is legally allowed to masturbate in front of a woman went on to franco's playing. I think. There's actually a loophole that you can't do that it was pretty fucking hot and then I. Then, when the maiden no gap again and then like two months later were party in again and she was, like let's go back to your house, I was in a different apartment, so it must be more than two months. I was in a different apartment and so it must have been a while because almost been a while because not lose. I endeavored apartment. There's probably a year later,

a year later, we hook up again one night and we go back to my apartment, and my roommate we show and his girlfriend Alex. We are rooms, there was a door behind our beds were against. That was the part of the wall that separate our we and so we go in start have sex and I have an orgasm like within. Maybe ten, fifteen seconds because we are so close now I ask Yeahs it was it was just I just I hadn't one of those nights. I just well noted by the way it's pretty regular, like that anytime, I had sex with someone for the first time it happened right away and by the way I knew this person. I knew this person for a couple of years. I mean I always hung out with her. We were really good friends and I have an orgasm, really quick. start giggling and she immediately gets angry Emily monumental cope and she goes should be focused. Grace, and I hope that you will you do, and I am sorry is yours: are you fucking serious and, as I am a k,

I might head of mombasa calm down we're going to do this again. Right. Give me a second and we'll go back at it. I'm not done, and she was like fucking bullshit knocking, but like really angry and unlike hay for real gotta come down. This is good. but again against yours, you I remember her saying this: you need to read a book or get online and learn how to fuck, and I want ease as a surprise brutal like I was like hey. I go. Don't talk to me like that, like and I remember saying you're not my girlfriend, like I'm, not your boyfriend, you can't treat some. like that slavery, like we're friends like this is fucking ridiculous. I can't believe I miss. fuckin train and I can came over here and in winter The party we just came in here. It's I've always liked, probably three in the morning four in the morning, as you suggest,

It's fucking ridiculous. You better fuck me again, like I'm, not fucking, oh yeah, it was a matter of fact. This date ended awhile ago. As a matter of fact, you're going home yeah, she was going fucking home and I go. You are because I have to remain in their that it's worked. Moral and you're being rude and disrespectful- and I dont want to fuck and talk to you like this and by the way still the condom on own austere, having an immigrant nice bull bunch. Second, like like a heavy diaper right now it is- and I get your shit together and now she stroked kit in the walls and the door. Oh my them, I said get shit together and you're leaving. I walked into the kitchen, a go I grab a bottle of budweiser. Should I set up my butt against the sings are still naked condoms still still on my buddy rico walks out, also, which one sees me as four in the morning sees me and I go she'll be gone in a second and he's like okay What back into the room? She walks out issue also always also. I can't this fucking happening believe you're, making me go.

Taxi at four in the fuckin morning. Inevitably this way as she goes, you can what fuck for shit I go you're totally right and I start. While here to the door, I opened the door. She walked to the threshold, the door she was. This is fucked ridiculous. I'm I really going home and they re issues you did. Fuck me at all I have to go home, you have the fuckin weak, ass fuck and I have to go home and I start giggling and they go. You know what, though I came in you didn't happen. I win and she looks at me and goes to throw a punch ngos. And stops like a flinch. I go and I go and the beer splatters all over. My dick with the common goes up in the air and we both start laughing hysterically. Both of us are then immediately friends, I go fuck off and shut the door interfaith, that's amazing and ages, and then she went. I was on the sixth floor. She went down the

stairs hitting every door going bird cries camp. Oh my god cries. You Can'T- and I was in on Cornelia street right in front of po young It requires your camp fog and I was like. Oh my god. I told tony woods that story and tony woods like don't ever tell anyone that story again. That's a great story because at that moment where she went to throw a punch as very funny- and I we I flinch so hard- and she saw me reminded me of a story- she would keep doing that yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, that's a great podcast! By the way, your story topic that I just want top of that, because that's all men, good. I love that no it's not as good as is not as good as the guy I don't want to tell him, you don't understand the plot of midnight cowboy, that's the best line of these two stories, but your story. I mean the of idea of you with a full condiment with beer. Splitting on your, I mean, there's a lot going on there, all right. Ok, when I first one of them. When I first move to allay, I hooked up with this girl, this

real intense, like got kind of Looking girl I'd, imagine have a boat load of those in your life. I have. I had a lot of fun. But this was like a hollywood kind of glam rock kind of you know hollywood dave's stronghold boulevard type of like lady in a tragic drug person, s overdue, but I decided to go so high yeah. Let's do it to go home, she is making out or whatever and I'm smoking will close cigarettes at the time, because I'm with off girl. I guess- and she said yeah yeah- but that out on me and our mark Oh, I I own, I mean I'm into freak, I'm not trying to like actually she's a car, put it out on me and my all, oh! No! No! No! No! I'm not an item I kind of like what kind of play the game on what kind of, like you know, teasing. I'm not gonna, like fuckin stub cigarette out on this chick, like that's, not that's going little far and we keep qana, hooking

and she's like she's our. I want you to spank me at my no problem and she's I know what you look like it's getting to an area where I'm like I'm a freak, but this is we're getting we're going to I'm gettin uncomfortable here and she's she's, sucking up with me. And she said she come like this. Down on me a little bit and it's like out I'll. Stop, stop and she's like what. What am I gonna fuckin at the hurts, whatever you're doing too much balls is like a painful and cheese and they pay in the fall, I'm staying in a band called the police and and she's like oh whatever, and then she keeps doing it and she keeps hurting me and I finally looked down at my balls. Fighting on and stop and look down, and it's a fucking there contusion like a bull, a blister a big yahoo. I know exactly we're talking about I'm like in No, I'm wasn't me mediators. She looks down and she sees this like contusion looking thing on my balls and she goes

What is this in that way that, like, if you had a nasty d, that would be what the person would say what's going on here? I am I. What do you mean you, you wanna salting me you can chew it on me. You think this is some I'm dirty and brought this to the table. You been like a vampire equally like hurting me and like whatever at night at night over and and then we ended and she caught. She like text me the next day he called me the next day is texting and she's like oh, that was fun. I'd like to do it again. I go. I go look, I I have fun to, but you know I just feel like, maybe like that the physical pain stuff, like I think, maybe you play a little harder than I want to and like I just storm on an over and do that again, that that level of, like physical pain, she's, ok then call we want, hang up, no

I'm dial it back. No, like always not a problem. We was like, if you're not there, to get your balls fucking her and can tos and hit me and put out cigarette back. But on my back it ain't happening again. Chop motion cancer. Can't I can't I can't Oh, I have nothing even remotely close to that I mind so team's actual etc. One hundred percent. Well, I mean, by the way, that's not a story about me being a freak storm, no, no meeting a free, nobody, I mean almost I've only had six parts. There is now a girl that one I send one of them. While you see my god, I have a problem at a price. Turning it off so like. like I get you into my bedroom yeah and I could hang out, but I can't are you have all switch the switchover What do you mean you fall in love? Is a life allah variously avebury there, but I have a high time

turning into sexy guy like is because it's not natural to me. I dunno. If I was like, I don't I don't, I mean I know that you would definitely know, but I don't think I was like awesome molested. Anything I don't know, but something happen to me as a child. Were being serious, wasn't like rewarded or something I have a hard time be. Unlike I dated couple girls bade them this goes going really fucking bad, I dated two I also think of that I never kissed shut try dated, and then I didn't kill the first night dress, not who I am. Secondly, the demand by the third night. Now the pressures on that did not I could put in a sort of freaking out my got too drunk fortnight. Finally we note. This is fair knight. No date function and that does I been there and then and then also make seven dates in and I haven't

them and I'm like I gotta break up with them. Oh you don't mean you had sex and didn't kiss him. You mean you guys, never even got to a kiss, because I couldn't the first kiss for me was such a fucking. Mountain decline. Aha to to, shut down and be like. because you'll come immediately. When you kiss a woman. That right I mean that's. You you'll you'll have a condom full of bert too. I had a girl in high school one time. This was like a story I shared with my friends. My fucking mistake: either high school in time, and I think I was a pretty good first kiss her. I think that was. I was good at that. I think so upon your head on a grey and as they probably not nano here's the thing. My First, sexual experience is really traumatic. Really, but not knowledge. Traumatic dramatic, like anyone who had trauma life, but I Yet I would really aiding or semi right and I fucked up, and and then all of a sudden I started regressing like I don't wanna

And then I girlfriend for like fought and then and after that I had a girlfriend five years. She my best friend and then I had that's what I'm after that point is what data. The couple girls and I did and kissed them in time? it's because you have a really great daters this one girl cooper miles. We painted picture together and we d. Red wine and we hung up on the roof every was there and I just couldn't pull the trigger. It is hard that first moment of like we're, going from not physical to physical If, though, you worthwhile so the opposite, you know cause. I immediately just assume you are thinking, like I add a couple girls at I slept with, but never kissed I have so many people in my life, and I mean so many who I could see them in the room. I can be podcasting with them right now that I have had sex with that I wouldn't know, I would not know who they were Are you serious, two hundred percent? I mean so many might have been an exaggeration, definitely at least ten people. I could be have them in the room with me and just like, I love

really there's no possibility that I would know who they were really oh yeah for sure definite then a bigger name, a number, a much bigger number of people who don't know their name. I mean I just have no idea what they're I mean. I would recognize them vaguely and I'll be like oh yeah, but I mean a great what a great in the tv show ha have you had sex with this person, it's funny it's like a panel of three and they bring they bring up. They bring out ten people and if you can guess all people, you had sex with you in a million dollars very funny and they just bring out brows like hardware browse the library. Johnny jolly Victoria rejects. policies on and the like really or about this person, and you do at spring break. You do as an mtv show they bring up all the people he's had. Sex almost is an mtv show, it seems like it would be yeah. It seems like it definitely could be copy written by motion Burton know. I was helped by the way I would I would

would probably drop my touring too pretty is that show deal much fun. That show will be it'll, be so insane I mean the problem is you would have to get people? You have to find enough people that are like horrifying slots that they've forgotten people scattered all the guys, yeah guys you can't go to the for the for the outright the gender dynamics, be a little weird. If it's like a girl like, I think I did fuck you in a blackout. It's like this got creepy quick, yeah yeah, it's gotta be all guys, but yeah so How could you like this, my biggest question, how did you have sex sober, that's such a disturbing question back at his hilarious that you don't even know. I don't think I'm not that that is not a question that you should mean that to be a quest, our the alcoholics, anonymous pamphlet. Have you ever said yourself? How could someone have sex sober? I yeah moses. Stranger, I mean. it's funny. I've only had sex over. I had sex one time, but before I stopped drinking land why was the you know,

fifteen. How old are you when you lost your virginity? Seventeen, okay, yeah normal age? I guess I was fifteen that crazy that, but then, got sober after that, not every single sexual experience. I've ever had has been has been as a sober person, but I was also really and raves. When I was in a young so like night was bus, sixteen years old, assorted, gonna, raves, very, very heavily, like sober but here was like super in that seem like like every weekend you know that was my whole world, and that was like this strange world of free love that I like stumbled into. You know, like you read my books, you know like when I was a young when I was even younger than that one is fifteen. I like thought of myself as this kind of em it was a little like a white wannabe, be like a horrible garros white, wrapper kind of person and like just the worst kind of little shithead that you could ever me ever and I got sober anna? what kind of leave those dudes like you're talking about like there's a certain mentality of some of the guys. Some of the people I grew up with are lovely people now, but some of them are like you prison, the kindest whatever just

I had just leave it behind. I also believe the music behind of like like a gangster rap guy growing up. I stumbled into this about nine months over the rave world and it was just such a loving like free love. We all have sex with each other. We hug, we don't like it. Nobody nobody's a thug here and nobody wants to be a thug, and it was just like this really transformative experience where I like. it came softer as a person I became like I became more this person than I was that the person that is here now is more much more influenced by that scene than it was by the drug stuff that happen. Before that. So interesting people is weird right because it was a dream world. Every eye was on drugs, but me I mean everybody, and I was pretty much too young person there and it's not like it's an old scene, but it was like before eighteen, nineteen twenty and I was sixteen. And I just I found this they I mean. I have like a theory about it. That's a little more sincere wish. Is that like when I was growing up, I was in so much um

some so sprite, frightened and so alone and so isolated? By my circumstances? You know I only one, kit and black schools only hearing kid and deaf family only you'd, I'm in these re only sane person and mental hospitals in other. All this kind thing like we're just was like so isolated alone that I became the people. What I found rather kids, who are just like that you know that's the most typical story of a of a wayward youth possible. It's like you feel alone, so you find a gang of kids that are also alone. Being alone together but use through a really toxic kind of like gross form of like much small and violence and yeah. There's a ton of that. In my it might do my early childhood air was his where old, most comes from. Well, almost is really just like the last wisps, the fumes of whatever double traumatic lessons. I learned when I was a kid go on like that. It's on saying I become that's too I mean I say: I'm from oakland is parker. They like ivory. To attack

view old, I mean I'm aware of how I look. I'm aware about tough guy, I get it yeah there's some little part way back in the financial memory. Muscle memory, where are all the same, is as I already cares so I go to the rave scene and all of us, so I think of it like a pendulum. That goes all the way in this. Like disgusting world of gangster, that's all. I listen to west coast gangs, drab, never loved a whole, never word of detail. You know you got busted net and bound sums. Fifteen I've never had sex ass from kids. Exactly kids was like watching, I didn't even enjoy it as a film because it felt like I was watching my I swear to you I felt like I was watching my childhood. It was just like, except that they were like or sexual and things are doing we're gonna cooler they were, they were going to. Vehicles is new york city and not oakland, but a sweater. I feel like I'm just watching me my friends growing up, so I go to the raves yon, always all on this pendulum like day. You know this is a toxic form of like the enemy

school entity and in a bad way. I like masculinity, but it's that this food is like filled with violence and filled with grossness, and I found the rave scene, where the whole thing I dunno, if you've ever been to yeah. You know the whole ideas like it's very interesting. It's like the men are very feminized right if you're a raver, not if you're a dude going to array. But if you like get into the scene, like all the men, become very feminine. You know you were especially at the time in the early nineties. It was not, it was not as mainstream, so it was like there no more of an underground scene where the guys would wear glitter in their hair. They would you know they put rats in their hair. They would they would. These are very feminine and more to the point for childish, liver, baby. Binkie zinc straight up, you ass. If I was there on the sea, I, by the way how to pacify are never did ecstasy. The only reason I have a passive iron rave, seeing this delay not going your teeth. I did it. I thought it was cool, so oh, my god, why I said that

very infantilism version and, unlike in a way, it's gonna, silly, you know like I would see people from the old days or my brother people, the new me and ugly doing, unlike all of a sudden I go from this like wayward rehab kid like bleach, blonde hair barrette, my air glitter. I was that that clearly and I got le got these dudes coming. I remember very clearly my friend joey who's passed away actually due to some of the insanity of that old lifestyle he's dead now, but he came up to me. He goes. I was working on telegraph avenue by using berkeley campus a bear costume. This is my job. I was a mascot enough, I. The flyers in front of the store called bare basics now go to a rave all night, and then I would go la cracked out and put this bear costume on a pass out flyers, and I was looking at the smoker. my helmet off and I would be smoking little kids walk by with like a mascot with it. They'd be like. Why is this bear smoking, like I'm smokey, the bear kid walk on and joey certainly goes a blood man blood,

for saying you gay blood. They say you gay eight. You want me to be the ass he's doing beat them up because and I'm just like I'm in this other one. I know everything is a luxuriant come on. Who cares if I am I think of it like I was up in this pendulum of like gross version of of who I was and I needed. all the way over into this cartoon version of, like you know, bitch boy, you know of lack of like child and glitter boy, unlike in order, Finally, as an adult come back to, like that's all trauma swings. You know, that's interesting. I wonder if everyone deals with that in some were its view, probably usually not that, like insane a stark dichotomy of like you, don't wanna be gangster into like you know, candy raver, but that's literally, was the swing. The cultural sitting that I went through and and what I found there in the racing was like that. You know a lot of life. warm kind of loving this and also tons of sex and sexual.

Tons of everybody fucked everybody in the rapes in so when I was sixteen when I first started. Gonna raises is like oh my god like. I could look anyway, Anybody can I mean I'm talking like insane like that, the amount of sexuality that that happened. When I got to that scene was like a fucking deal, you like you, could fuck anybody, Well, that was not the rape scene in tallahassee. Is that right? I'm sure it was you would go to these. You will go to these clubs that were open late I mean we were frat boys. We were legitimate rap boys this by the way. This is the early ninetys like and north. Two frat boys everywhere, they want even up on that. There would be no frat boy you're, not because they wouldn't be allowed. Anybody could go, they never would have even heard about raving. So when I I got to tallahassee in ninety one ecstasy was still legal. Oh yeah, right ray is hosting. I was legal in the eleven amendments represent, it was. It was legal in the world

we have got in there. They had stories of it being legal being able to give em dna. People at this club called floor. This may be, and so there is share where they give it to you in it and then really have very funny. You're like I was it woe was. There was talk talk about it, but no one knew what it was. we were all we'd mushrooms. That was our big thing. Mushrooms are super easy to get tell ass. He could rate once it rained everyone because actual all martians and on cowardice is interesting mushrooms. or insanely easily until it interesting that you were so experimental with drugs and not with sex stuff, I was never think, I'm still not experimental drugs at our ok. I have a couple, but I was when I was really really on and then couple about experiences with just with we'd the rat panic attacks and spun out too to back, and after that I was like I'm done with weed stop smoking weed. When I was, I guess

there's one by one or sixteen? So I was when I was sixteen didn't. We'd again until I got to college got calls him. It is really fucking amazing, chick once again didn't rather but really awesome check. and we did with its all day in a grocery store with its are fun and we do not have a webpage we're just doing the fucking through the whipped cream, yeah edward. Walking up and down the grow stored doing those around them. mostly with her, and I had a good time, and so I was always cautious with we was cautiously we'd or with anything. I'm home I thought I might tell us joking the story my hour, but when I My advice to my kids will be when it comes to drugs just take off. Don't need to overdo it like just wait. Cb like it taking my entrepreneur idea. No, it's I have to drug entrepreneur ideas further, recently legalise marijuana world one is, the windows brownies and They brownie that you

eat the whole brownie, and that's a mother takes to get you high, not like you. I can look at ninety seven of a browning like I'll. Try that and then wait about make imo make brownie pop brownies. Then I'm on it a square out o the brownie connect to a regular brownie. So I'll just and then you just they eat the brownie get I that's. Our motto wonders brownies eat the brownie. Here's the problem. What's the what's the dosage on that? That is one. No one. Does one brown, what's the dose, how many milligrams of marijuana- I'm gonna, be honest with you. I know very little about marijuana dosage and I am not an entrepreneur and this probably isn't going anywhere. No, but here's the brilliant thing about that is that I I as a a pot smoker edible scare me. I have real ability to podcast tonight at like six o clock with with Josh. It's one of the projects. Call it twitch! No, no rental! Really! You play video games yeah, I guess uncle. Will we get high and I'm seconds from Josh wolff? Okay, I am even get high and drunk. I am. I am sick and I have

these animals and their these little blueberries and each serving as to milligrams and in my head? I know Joe. He takes a thousand milligrams. Social de as but I would I gladly you could sell me. two milligrams of th see, for the same price, you sell Joey five hundred million hilarity, as I would gladly you need a bert do see. I would gladly get the one that works for me and pay the exact same price as the one that works for that guy. That's not about idea! Chelsea! josie handler, but we who are a mega joke about much puzzled. I really do lover. I really do want the job, say you know your car cut, but but it's not as bite busy. Ok, just its by an auto mean it. But more aware of I urge you to go to work with you and I love chelsea handler. I don't know where it all. I dont even never even met her, but I followed instagram, a lubber she's coming out with a weed where just get you high enough to take them,

the edge off today. What that's my other idea. It's not quite that, but is very similar. It's it's that they day the went on us as possible is where they start making strain of we'd. That is so mellow, not just high wise, but also inhaling why's, that you can look twenty of them a day and there for people try to quit smoking cigarettes does so you just want it's got twenty during the day, de the whole brownie no end that's my idea is: is the quitting smoking the possible god, I I'm Tellin you- and I say this- I Those are not bad. Ideas like amp, you you're the first person to tell me that we have a lot of really bad ideas. Muddling of wrong, I'm looking for a low grade tee, Infused cocaine, infuse t hilarious, I really want cocaine,

was probably one of the most enjoyable feelings I've ever had in my life. What about that? Those leaves that the native companies are you fucking. Getting me yeah woke me up. What are being what you mean like I'd idle, nobody, so that it can. I get anywhere here, it's coke, yet no one's, no one moving the legs and rail is a co game, not to south america on a trip I would love to. Don't they dont people down there just chew on those leaves all the time all day, long yeah. I watched the documentary on netflix oddly enough about making cocaine, and I was fascinated by how to make it, though be something that I would enjoy a hobby is making cocaine but but but what was heard up I'm going through today. I would like today, in this place in the business where I'm like a oh Mamma lost by just like things get

very complicated- I think it's certain, I'm sure you know that at certain levels of your career things get more and more complicated sure you have less people that you trust and less people that you can confide in and less people that and then you feel more alone and for sure today I was what I was going for a run. I saw guy building offence and I thought very canada thought here. How great is that, I wish I had that simplicity, my life reggie new to danville the fucking fence. Meanwhile, that you'd like development deal at a b, c clang clue and I'm building this fence to get me away from my hollywood dream clean. I I I thought that at the beginning, my joggers in building the fence and I'm like it's gotta, be rate, no notes, can agents no managers. I just go and I got the goods I build. The fence I come on I'll get at at the end. The day looks good bye. Yours and I'm not up at night thinking about deference the up. It's like an nome

beyond the notes. It's like it's this. He donna treadmill belem. Looking at a treadmill, as I say that of ego, that's the real! problem, I'm having a hard time with instagram stories right now, because everything is subliminal branding. I I kept everything is me trying to put my best foot forward. It's me like I did it. I did a hashtag today, subliminal branding, because I did a video of me making my daughter's breakfast, which are never fucking, do get up early and make my daughter's breakfast and looked factor lunches. I can get them to school, but I do a video of it in the military in the video I go, this is bullshit. This is not who I am like. I should. My phone, my daughters, and have them goad dad woke up early until night. Well, he's back in bad luck, and so on heart like on my jaw, goes like. I should record this job Why, like what? What is it? the about my job it's interesting when I see other people do it like. I know that when I watch cameron, haines, gopher run and girls

It's a beautifully inspires me right I'm not inspiring shit like I'm, not It looks at me they're just going. Oh bert, wants us to know that yeah he drinks a lot, but he's still healthy. You know what let's funny you say that goes I mean. Look I mean whatever I'm over here watching you, friend and nurses appear on, like oh births got this like great kind. like vibe of like wiping his face, base into like you know four no I'm, not necessarily that think, like. Oh they're running the l marathon tuba, like justice kind of like is that this community that you create around you fans and stuff like that which I'm a light, be I'm slightly jealous of like I like that idea like that, but I under but it's fun. to hear you talk about a like you're just trying to keep up with your own egos jones is in the exact same way. I did a thing I turned my mentions off on everything a long time about germany, messes up on twitter like to to arrive, seen seen dimension in in forever. I turned off keep going on this. I'm not I don't mean, but I turned off alma.

Of course you know my phone, oh yeah, that's waiting, get your text about my address until like fifteen minutes later zones in the pool and I just an idea and it made my life amaze, oh, my god, no notification, oh my god, keep going right and in turn off the mentions, it's a! U level out! If I were you, I love upon a dyke like ninety degrees of happiness. You know I mean I would be in. I would be, and the other thing I stopped doing is interesting and this all Natasha she guessed full credit for this is, I saw penetrating her. She started penetrating me and that's been really nice now. The other thing I stop doing was was I used to. think it was a part of my brand or whatever to get into it people online like that was part of my brand as I would go back and forth you. I would clown you, you you up against a professional, you know and you just like retweet them go to war with people and two things.

Happened. One is will first of all trump got elected and the tone switched the, and I don't blame tromp for that. But I blame like that oxy city of what happened to this country politically, like made. If the tone shift to it, it was like you're a bit. I hate you, it turned into. I know you live in l a I know where you and your wife live I'm going to find you from let's go back and forth ha, I'm a professional, I'm gonna find you and then it's like You definitely win when you're say I'm gonna find you like. You ve won the jimmy kimmel, just fucking quit yet fight. He was like none. you're twenty, my kids, I'm over night halls eyes. Masses are exactly exact. I would so much rather be someone's someone taking. like I just turn that do no better. They have that guy show up at my nothin probably would happen, but it's just like when I start thinking. Do I want to buy a german shepherd or a gun is like because of what, because I'm like My brand is argument. So

the other day I saw my dog and I just bought two guns. Yet no, it's fucking, scary, fucking, exact reason of like up like you. Don't there are for that reason. I don't, I don't mean to cut you off, so I I want hear what you to say, but People too, dull likely you put out just even me, like even me, Emma idle talk, shit immobility. I have a good time to drink like two fuckin challenge was all brought america under the top. Muttered do is born race next weekend, but their people that that makes them angry, and so still, unlike fuck it there's gonna house baby by my here. You ve got kill them, and I got that dog. That dog, I do that. My one dog sleeps in the bed with my oldest daughter, my other dog sleeps in bed with my youngest daughter and I get it. If I may, I really do get it and if we're vulnerable. We only want to talk about this, but we're vulnerable in a way that most entertainers really ones. You don't know that someone knows you yeah. I saw brent moran yesterday walking the street walk across the street from warns of

I mean I've known for fucking five years. I somewhat street and I just didn't recognize him wasn't being attention and he touched me yeah, and I want oh, my god. yeah and I didn't know it was him right- and I thought, oh, my god, I realize it was him. I called him and he was like yeah. It was me asshole. You were going to say you were saying you're you about. Oh the second thing, the other thing that that happened, the I I started to notice that, like the internet, actions were getting a little more intense and weigh more intense than they were. It wasn't like I had a hate mail section on my website, I'm telling you I thought it was our part of who I was but ones got into the zone of like feeling scared. Like literally I was like. I don't have time for that, but the other thing Natasha sort of pointing out that, like I would start of, you met with some one thinking. My brain I brand and having a good time I started like ten in the morning all day replying to some food king freak in some, like the middle of nowhere as having a great time going back and forth

the comedian that he likes and or hate which, by the way, we've all had that too, like you bet, you bet you bet and then you're like Fuck, you and elected on a big fan went up and yeah, but most of the by underside wasting my life away with these with these strangers on like so I commenting so that I turned my no all the way off and hush up pointed out, like you're, wasting your life when I heard her heard. That is the truth, and I stopped responded in a comment on the internet. There wasn't like fun or a friend in a long time I feel so much freer. Oh so much better like just I can even it there's no comparison. Someone introduced me to some one was I come ari as sex with checks that he meets on instagram writer checking thinkers didn't even without him, yeah he's got fun. whom, upon instagram museums, yeah and I'm the Dmr. He saw a part of me like he told me this and I know married to know that people know I'm married, but part of me was a little like, like

I can't believe, like no one tries to fuck me like I like sends me. New pages gives new picks all the time, and I it's about that and then someone that I knew directness. Someone next to me and go broke. reply to them. What and then I think I saw that person that night and they were like this is where those direct messages are and when you have only got eight and the like that, other people. You know that I look. and then it said. Ninety nine plus those are all the people that you don't know and I hit it and there are thousands and I went I wish you would never shown it. I harrier, and now I just can't like I I can't look at them, because I don't want it. I don't Welcome to my life, you can have your producer go in once a month and delete em all permanently. My wife gets. My wife gets reads my fan mail. A hog stop. It comes from a website, and. Its use. You don't get. A lot of negative ones. Are you're gonna, get native once sick, of course, like waiting

I didn't need to know that exactly, but that's all going to tell you is a turn off alone. two years ago. I turn him off. You know and because we were when my show came out, there is a video that, like just right I caught the I'm. So glad you remind me this who are caught the eye of the all right and they really like came after us, and I was just like you know, I'm like I am thin skinned. I can't deal even if it's somebody I don't really like care about or respect if you're hating on me, it's going to affect me so just turn off everything right and then it was great. Actually I just really like was enjoying my life and able to draw my life. Then yesterday the special came out. Natasha look maybe should undue, though you know little tune mentions back on, so you can like fave, tweets and stuff like that by the way the response the special so far has been early days been so awesome everybody fucking. Its has been great like people been, are

dimensions were filled with just love and positivity, and people love and special, and then, like you, said one to one I'm talking like hundreds and hundreds of like this is awesome? I love this so much and I'm scrolling through the awesome cool cool cool cool. I don't get that's what's really fucked up about the ego is the positivity doesn't outweigh it's like a bomb when you, when you bomb on stage like yeah, it's that feels good, but it's not like it feels as good as a bad set feels bad about will really make you question yet my doing this for a living aerial you can. I got a million dollars a year. Talk bomb sharing this with tom is one of the most successful comics and I know in this business right now he had a bad sat in atlanta

call me in the next day and he's like I dunno. What's going on with my career yeah, it really makes you question absolutely everything and you can be the biggest comic, but it's a bad set you're like fuck yeah and it's not like. Then you got to get a good set and if you get a good set, it's not like you'd then like actually I'm the king of the world, then you're like okay, I'm back to normal and back to normal, and I need a few of these. I need to the suffering of the year dude. What I was speaking of promiscuity when I was single and I would have a bad ceremonies very visceral because, like by them the comedy store you to be like late at night. I think you had you did you leave when rogen left or no? No? No, I never. You are always around no tommy. I was never there or you weren't. There was just time he didn't. I just showed up when, when Adam was there, I got passed in the tommy days and not old school comedy store, unlike literally the slice of pi, between missy and doing that passing people and

adam passing programs like with like a little slice in their item on how long that was to be honest with you. I was there. I was there right, but for miss he left. I was there right before elements left an audition in front of Mitzi. I never did. I never even met her. That's why you know. I love the comedy. Store so much, and it's like my home club here in l a but and I wanted to like tweet about, but I don't I hate, p for, though, when their jockey, you know you're trauma jockeying are like. I didn't, know, missy So I didn't have anything to say I do it. All I said was she was Can I put out a tweet because Polly had someone say bert in omitted ass, like someone, a fan and Paul in favour of it and said you know, hey guys, shared right who thought and I was like you. I don't. I don't even really know Pauly. I know him. I don't think you'd recognize me right. I think he'd be like if someone was like this burt, you remember, he'd be like oh okay and I'm sure polly would recognize, and so, but I see he did lose. His mom ran is the place I work and I

wrote some tweet about, like you know, and which is also serious. I choose a visionary. She was a mother should a great one point, sorry for lost their robots. Yeah wrote. That's we are too was just love, love to you park polly. I do know whatever The point is this: You're. There was a moment in the store. Rutten really like right. When I got past, where the the odds on your set, warlike, Seventy thirty, like there's a thirty percent chance, you're going to have a bat if you were going late, especially your thirty percent chance, you're going to have like a bad to bad to like really Dad took me to mediocre to really bad set back to the degree where, like my manager would be like. Oh I want somebody come and see you. I know you're doing a spot at the store and I'm like no, no, no, we don't send people to the store. Also like a girl who'd be like, I will all want to come see you got none and no, we don't do not know the weekend spots at the laugh. Factory has yeah exactly do we get spots we go, but if you're doing like tuesday night at like twelve twelve fifteen,

they didn't have to shows. First of all, so it would be like somebody got near at the crowd gathered. Eight whoever's left at well, fifteen or the people there just too drunk to leave anyway, whatever if I would have a bad set at the comedy store, I would all the way home to be texting booty calls like it but the path, a larger marilla, like my brain, my bomb brain was like you, gotta get laid and it'll. Take you out of this. I believe without you up top you up sop you up and if I got home I remember this very cell natasha about this. The other day, if I got to western, which is like I'm home yeah, and I had no one had texted me back, I would pull over at a Winchell's there, a western and santa Monica, and I would get like a old fashioned buttermilk donut laid you might as well have a buttermilk done attitude. I I had thought the other day. You'd said something earlier that made me think of this yeah, and then I forgot it and when you said that right then I realise what it was. I.

Southern sick, for I was sick in lexington. I flew I drank on sunday by during dinner, monday, tuesday or wednesday, and I ran each day thing unlike fuck I can't let in bad it's killing me here. I I woke up. Yesterday morning, and I and also my phone, I could get off my phone, I couldn't I was I was like there's this called kooks lambs Oh, do kooks slams, that's my shit. I love callback hooks. You know I surf right. Are you sure yeah? Are you to serve island, not serve any more than we think of your surfing dude. I will take an I'm so bad. I mean I used to be ok. You'll, probably be as good as I am now having been serving our. They live in the latter two years, because I am so bad that with active like two or three times a week surfing, although, since the baby, it's dropped, a bit like that,

I bet with equal violet, but coastlines is like. I was If I was tosh, I would open up my house for comics to grab boards. I would I would find like a side path right there. I think he lives on malibu. I think he goes out of his house and go surfing every morning and comes home meditates danielson of your listening, Daniel edison, there's so much daniel. I want out of your life, you ve had a graduate. I went away to share that. I love the idea of Daniel task, not only downloading this episode but listen all the way to this point, yeah and and then being like? I'm opening up my house to the I wanted to throw a surprise party. This house cause you just read to this house. I wanted to surprise party at his house where me bill burr, segura, rogan, stand, hope, ARI, Joe everyone, a big group of comics yeah and our families rented a bus drove it tosh his house knocked at the door

just like some a rental we ve got coolers, we ve got beach tears. We got some schooner. He opens the door were like sprise work on and thrown a party or pretty easy very, like set the like, isolated as Well, no, no, it means a regular person. Actually I don't know him at all. I met him once I did his show. I did a little bit on a show many years ago, but I've. Never. I dunno him at all. He's a really he's a re is I mean I dunno. I know him I know I'm enough to live say hi and bull shit right where we were in. Oh, we hung out, couple times, but I who consider my friend of these very sweet guy, but a whole weekend together and then, after that, we tried to like hang out a couple times and but he's a rate very regular guy, but I would I would assume that he would be, and that now is something that will make him laugh very funny and then everyone knows I'm really well was like. No. That would not make him laugh, and that makes me think you'll make them laugh even harder, and I think also you're the king of good ideas that right up so eyebrows lamps out, I was

I was on KU claims that I couldn't stop scrolling and watching them and watching them and watching them and watching them, and I I said, come on bert touch, I'd acts up there was honest, Roma might give you that acts and I go and I hid the axe and then I thought I am. I know we talked about this earlier, but I have been talking about the positivity phones, when the positivity I see a phones is that my wife and I have a very happy relationship, and I think that is due in part to phones, yeah, The iphone, because we We have to hang out that much we can just get on the phone and so, I think there are a lot of girls that I date for two years and I'd be like I am done with her, because I had to talk to her and so on. Get it from that perspective, and I I want a one. if I could cut it all out like yeah, no phone, no cell phone, no cell phone, no booze, no, I feel for forever, no just for a while and just get back to work I sure, at thirteen years old, but you know you gotta do to do that when you got a lot

go away. You ve got to the woods. I really think we're all like. We are I have to go to the woods. Like everybody, all the whole world, but also especially people like us like in this. Like this battle yourself as if you have decided that year, you're hollywood aspirations are like the most important thing in the universe. I mean not. You me, I'm nuns me me too, and I just have to like get the fuck I have an army and I have to like started drive into the woods, I'm just on Natasha. This recently, like which I have to leave like I have two, because if I'm not like physically in nature there's something happens to me and everybody. I think that when you're physically in nature, it's like you dream king water, you didn't know. Your thirsty assists like I gotta get out of this sets a really great example. That's a really great analogy, because there are so many times you like one

is hurting what the fuck is wrong with me and my wife will be like. When was the last glass of water? You had a big, both fucking. Thursday yeah like waters. My big thing lately mcx my back, hurts and more secure de high. It now your partying, like a party, I start party and on like through thursday morning at the airport, I'll get a cocktail cocktails on the plane, nap at the hotel ones, thursday drinks Roy press it friday. If they have tells we have cocktails People are in the day to show us a year like on a lack of a fun run. Every weekend, euro area, The problem with me that the good thing about me in the problem with me, the thing, I'm having a hard time. Getting out of my system, which I don't look, I'm not asking for help anybody, I'm not looking for anyone. You mean you're, gonna, get direct message area nights. Two grand they're just like bert, does helping hand here for you. Sometimes when you say, stop honestly people like brow. I now know design and, unlike now, that's all I'm saying that

Nothing about me is that when I show up places its party, I am the reason I learned this very early into having kids. If I went to the party all the parents could drink, but if I wasn't at the party or if I wasn't drinking at the party, everyone got down on so like I was the excuse for people party and then I'd ray, you had come in. Maybe like but the second we got there. They start button beers on the counter. Funny and aerial would have a beer in their like birds. Here, it's our excuse and I think it's an it's a blessing and occurs because girdle club and an unsettled idle. I said to secure a wonder. I see them yesterday. Oh fuck my god. I wish I don't hope I don't have to say a comic's name, you trying to figure out tell a story without thing: again nope we were saying

We are saying that we were talking about a comic who isn't technically that creative, ok and got some ideas, already go ahead and is very low brow I care, remember the name right now I can't the name of the comic of we're talking about a lie, of being dead, serious and I said to him. Then ass, lost my ideas and, I said to him, guarantee you that, person thinks I do nothing but take my short off rural areas, that's very funny and in their and he's our love he goes. Oh, I guarantee it that a very funny I guarantee you. They don't see like I've had people say to me Their slam on me as like all you do is get up one day get drunk and tell the same story. I go hold on one. I have told us in story a lot every show for the past fucking. In five years. I close on that store. Yo, you pass your free bird. That's my freebird. I wish I had a free bird by the way by the way it lets just for one second

This is me to remain, on which I had only to do with whether by competent and myself, but let's just say, that's a fuckin thirty minutes story. Not every comic king can go on stage until a thirteen story closer show it's a thirteen fuckin minute story. I won't. Let me just say this as a as a card carrying number of the alternative. Comic community. No, I'm scared, but I would say that I think you are fully well within your rights. Not only then your rights, you would be robbing your crowd. If you didn't tell that story, it's like you're, the one comedian who can get away with telling a thirty minute story, the indirect for, if you want for the rest of your career, because that's what? Why would you give me what they want is its it. It with our question made my career, than when that story popped, it chain so into my life. Where was it? It was on a facebook. It was just a clue. on facebook. I did it all the time you have seen the clip. I told her on rogan the first time and rogan said I mean

You could argue that Jos, the person that change the tried checked my career cause. He said that's your sought- that you're we're your bit at her heart. Pockets! That's your thing eugene! to tell him I'll stay. Jaguars honesty story was no. No, no. You need to tell stage every night until good and whether we want to stand a bit. No, it was. I was a story. I just told on radio I told my guest and he's like that's the best way of ever heard a guess. well, standards. Betty was no. You can make it into one, not just how to work hard. That's really can so that, starting that weekend, I in colombia, I told it every nine old stage in it by really for a year and a half bomb, that's awesome, and then I and then I figured couple things out and the pilot too now appears in I figured out the ding. Once I got the ending of the confidence to tell the middle of it and I did so. Then I told my showtime special, and not clear, and I put that clip. I thought everyone has seen it pull on facebook. Just

perfect time to put a clip awry randomly December twenty. Seventh, you I've gotten it forwarded to me from civilians. Oh, I've more, not in my comedy life, really them in the normal comedian. I don't mean forwarded directly but like there all comes up. Nigga. Have you seen this clip? So I'm like bats? Are you know when it goes all the way through comedy around people, you don't know, and then back. That means it's of that's a viral clip due to he it and then it. We'll have a guy got big, varnish legal, like thirty million views from me, but what happened? Is these other viral places holy posts on there and it would you all of a sudden, you notice a huge spike and the tag me in it and then get forty million for them work, fifty million for them and it just blew up and then I gotta shows and now and I I'd say I tell him I go on doing our material from dad I bring our own nose it that's what I do I'm doing my new our adieu

at the end. I goes ernie thing you guys want to hear, because I've done I do in our do in our fifteen tunisia, sugar the demon asserting wanna hear and people call out a bunch of bits sometimes I'll tell to stories, but I and to tell them, shamed and shoes? I say they go fuck and not did you. I was wondering this and ensure the answer's. No, I just didn't do it on the netflix special, no knocked interesting story that I was thinking. I was thinking on the way over bird Actually, in my opinion, mice, comedy snobbery, open and other I'm not as big a snob as some of my peer, I was I could totally get away with that because, just like, I said, like that's a git, that's what p want on every platform. I thought he could do that nobody would hate. I wouldn't hate the it's an interesting story: I'll tell you all fair, but I we'll say that during my special they were calling out bits. They'd already hurt, oh my god, which is like it so bizarre cause parties like you heard. It saw my next tour, I'm I'm

I gotta figure out a determined next tour. I want to call it the on court and I tell him mash up closing bit that Is the machine fight a bare flying dodoes and- and and the training in story like a calm like tell a story. The incumbent find a way to to do a story? That's all of the story. That's all the stories into one in it. interact where that I don't know. I gotta figure it out on stage, and I got an idea for a show that I will do my next tour, but that's it is similar creative challenge, which is I want to do so. Did this that's what natasha- and this is my most current half hour. I have another hour that I'm just like. I need to just write and record because it's the hours touring with both went too long without doing a special yeah. I know that feeling so I have an hour that's the hour before this half hour. So it's like it's stale, but it's good. It's good! good, it's, but it's! I just need to do what you tore it for like six

and you're gonna do another spam, yo yo yo yo to anyway, but the tool that I would like to do. The next had I'd like to do as I do like a lot of crowd, work on the road and that's what I want to do is a show called like five questions or ten questions and its basic. The problem of god, work for from a permanent per se is that it can often feel very temporary and in the room like it's, this magical thing in the world, and you see it, but it's like war what that guy does for a living, I know it was fun there, but the audi make it feel permanent. So I want to do a show called ten questions. Five questions where I figure out the five. And questions that are the most stem, the most fertile for a crowd answer that aren't like what are you for living, but are more like tell me The most tell me the most awkward sexual experience you rat some version at her. Tell me about the most like that closer near death exposure. Were I to ask ten, ten questions that's the hour and I get the I get. the answer, so it's a crowd work where the stories and the ideas

telling enough that you can have a pair in a crowd, work special that war feel like an already brilliantly, if I can figure out those questions and it can work, but that's what that's what I'm geared towards for my next big touring thing is like because today did a crowd, work, tour and there's another crowd, works or is also like ours, define an angle on a crowd worked or that felt more. Like my own thing, I think that's what I want to do. Next. That's all, great, that's a really great. That's all ray premise: I I loved, doing crowd, work there and then I stopped. I stopped because it really was. For me, you really was an excuse to not right from nude. It is an absolute liability in terms of the desperate need to write because, but Abbott broken always I can always kill if I have twenty minutes. Said material, I can headline any club

if you don't, if I put them into new material, yeah yeah yeah, I'm good, because I love the last jokes. I tell at a at a live gig, the more fun I'm having more fun they're hounds have, I said bit I'm working on it. I'm a hunter. My youngest had her period, and so we had a period party awe and- and I was just parking through this again or period and I'm trying to get to this period party and write the bid for that and and talk periods and- and I said, this lady in the front row yo. Do you remember where you were when you got your first period? She goes oh yeah and I was like really she was kickball. And may I go, oh did you think you broke a pussy and just oh my god, I'm lately and it just killed. Then I went why bert stop like tell the joke. You wrote in in the house today like don't kid you're good because nothing's is gonna, be as good as what you just said. He ass tell me about the first we got to period, that's the kind,

of question where the grave you're watching stir of crowd. Workin tell please, that railway out of a person then you're gonna, that's a more permanent to me. That's like that's the kind of question that is more you can watch indigo. Oh, you can watch out in the year, but we hear different than my eurocrats. Work is very different than mine. Mine is very brodie like it's coming. That perspective of not being met in crowd work. Now, I'm not I'm not saying me whatever one in line but like there's, you can tell when guys do amazing, grout will and grace were like real masters of crowd work. They are putting their thumbprint on their responses. Yeah, that's fair timeline, so mine was like was like mine, always ended with, like I'm talking the like. not like the most in spontaneous, like the most like you'd, be in the back of the room. I promise you be like this is funny as fuck, but of course, he's going there like I'd. Applying guy

front row in Hartford connecticut. One time I had two deaf people at my show in in schaumburg the week before cool and they had said we're fans of your show. We hired this translator. They were fans of your travels, travels a while cause. They were like we hired a translator to translate, for me, of course, You know where I went happy by a I kill It kills back to my crowd, work, I'm doing right. So then I give them the blind guy in the front row and immediately. This is how stupid I am I go. Are you a fan of my? You must be a fan of my show like this. If you're blind, why would you come here and he's like? Oh, how would I watch your show? I was like oh yeah. How would I watch your show yeah and I said to them. I said your wife's actually really beautiful and he's like. I know I said what you mean you know and he's like I can tell. I belt the face. I know she's gorgeous and I like everything about really interesting and I was like so you can tell a face you can feel and tell our drive to their, whose again, so immediately. I m on onstage in a stone in a seat, and I have but from the audio that working on and him feeling

their faces and on five, and it was It was as amazing what was what was right to tee to enable the only thing that he was often is he couldn't because you, I'm feeling bodies, there would be overweight people and say there were hotter than they were hey. But if you came down my road, though, that you can be in a, u can be attained, yeah. It was really fuckin for, but that's we're like when microbrewery like. I remember this approach is a perfect example of micro work. I do a show with Steve trevino in miami is back in the day of the coalition show, but Steve went for and I had to close, it was only I found the show cuban poor again dominican black audience and I am bombing so fucking bad- that I give up and I go fuck it most bogged down black eye and ear. Come on stage by drinks all night guy gulf. once comes up, sits upstage, bringest, the chair of form, I want the most cuban fresh off the boat,

socks with ears flipper slips le loup, blobs, gonna guy he up, I got my jokes aren't working and I think it's a translation problem. So I'll say my joke and a new translated to your people, ok area, I was talking to a girl and then, the bible, and it was a man about how this bitch and a place. You know not ass very really great, but it was always something bring people on stage it was like you know, but that's fine, that's like that's fine, but is now it'll, never turn loose or something, but but it's never going to turn into a bit yeah I am a big defender of crowd work. I really resent the there's a few things I resent in comedy and one is that I really resent like the idea that crowd workers like up inferior footfall. Form of liberia hunter bourgeois shore, its weak. It's like no lou, the infer. Your crowd. Work is from inferior practitioners of that, like if you

patrice o neill alive, who did probably forty percent crowd work. There wasn't a dude in comedy that, I had a more in black pressure, and how Larry s an amazing experience is a lie performer than watching him. Riff like the back. The best do here his lasts there an album yeah, did you ever made ip Ivan now goes up on stage and. is. I gather these two overweight blackmail. In the front row and he goes out I'll get don't get em chicken wings, baby he's a syllogism aphasia, oh you. Don't get me bit by bit right now about the honey. I grew up with a big black bit. I escaped a big backlit talk, big back bitch get some catch up like I'd like immediately. Oh, he read sir and translates to his mom and it is. It is like

He was a master knows that, oh by the way, you know how good he was. I used to open a couple times when I was an am see at the punchline out open for him and his san Francisco. He was. Maybe the most sexist comedian who's ever worked in meat. Maybe like effort at me onstage anyway here right away. You David argue, Cosby was a little bit less but dumb, I will she's crowds, maybe ten percent of the women- will be like fuck. You would walk but the ones that would stick around the most. The most, in congress inorganic connection audience of, though a liberal can awoke san francisco. Feminists de female crowd be unable to deny what was happening on state and just like against their own will they would be laughing an heap. I was at a dinner, I will not say these people's names, three, bigger. Women in comedy

and we are at a dinner with twelve people the night he had a stroke, the he had a stroke. I brought up there. The treaty is one of my favorite comics and Three, these women each gave a reason they hated patrice dear and eat cited a joke that, that he said to the him and one of them said he one time had the audacity to say it it is doing something in montreal and he was like alright, let's just say, there's no laws on the fucking kid I've had this conversation with poetry. At what age would you say aura? You can't tell fucking kid that age and, as she said it, the whole table laughed and relaxed it's funny and everyone they get a ban on its good premise. You hear this one I mean by that

I find his material. There will certainly be immunity. I gotta go see. Ok, I will read mother. I find his material. His ideas straight up, objectionable, like would like not cool and yet you wants that special every time you gotta be, he was so good anyway, point is that there are masters of crowd, work that, due to his is open, the room is, arguably crowd work, the sunny along the thing. I will agree the beginning. That was always my my problem a little bit with, but you haven't seen him live was his hbo special those great, but it wasn't it didn't you like it, bottled his lightning and in the room very much or little room you, god. I want to thank the audience coordinator for them set of cities in the front row so good. Thank you so much for them tidies patrice, was so much fun. The war thing I said, like, I think, I've stolen from all comics hints of meaning like that, like our felt like one, I stole from birth. Is that

an enemy number from boys at birth. A mind about your bar known. No is that challenges himself. Every special to kind of recreate himself help reinvent himself. Now he challenges himself to try something new. If it's an act out its conversation with an inanimate objects here: challenges. Also, that's one thing I saw him do that. I want to start doing that the one day, I took from day the tell sometimes is tell the pace of a joke and then tell your story like. it's very it's very clear in my act. Twenty two. I got involved with the russian mafia. Here's how it happened. That's almost david tell us interstates it's a it's a david terrorism. You know what cops eight. When you touch your faces, I thought a bear. One time I jumped unemployment rate. Hooray, it's dave! It's a david tell into my joke and wouldn't notice it, but I know for a fact that that is how I started telling stories and its in it. Leaked into my life. The one thing I would say that I bought For that I stole from retreat trees had a

a rhythmic beating of words that he said he stole from mob deep, how, while he would say so like or engine see a member him tell me who you are get caught off. You there's a phrase. It jazzy has b b I'm picking them up lenin play with the dig in the truck and there is a phrase everyone get ready, I'm about to use the n word and just so? If you're offended just know that here it is here's what comes there's a phrase he had when it was the dc sniper. I remember that he was man all these us. Like the diabolical mastermind. This mastermind he's a he's, a diabolic whoa genius he's a genius and they found out of the nigga pontiac, just basing that upon the era just came and they bleeped it and it fucked up the joke in else in the room, but no no that's in his comedy central presents. I linked it and it funnels like that. the brilliance of the good

pop pop a puppets any case. It's it's his is. He gonna from hip hop. Does what he said to me when I open for by the way we were not I'm not if I'm telling the store like he was my, but he wasn't. He were guy that I admired from afar, but I did get that entrance to open for him. He goes sure cash every night most sure cash or his name might as well be jewish jewish nigger, and I was just like every night so like. Thank you thank you for for that. For that insult, and also for the for the n word for allowing me into your world, it was that one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Cod, I would if I would simply love him to be alive, to see him in the tosh o hang out I've. I bet. I wonder she met him actual shawl boy, what a classic oh that is speaking of classic do owes Natasha. I just dropped a netflix special. It's called the honeymoon stand up special, it's a three part special coming away with

some of the crowd work that I was talking about access of dude? I could talk to you for everyone here. This is the one that the imo to set up a meeting for your next, I'm in your new york with my body dan Adler. He always with me up on him on an interview like this reads like do that's a bastion of you ever because it when I can hang out with guys and I've known for while it's just see This conversation and take a general meeting with them is a really great guy. Creed of members is food equated birth conquer he created all these amazing shows all we got Natasha, I have a travel, shows a we're coming your way, damn all right I'll, send it out right road and congratulations. Thank you resolutions on the baby, the special on everything, I was good and it's good to have other people for whom life is good as well. Even if we sometimes think it's I've good. If we don't get enough likes, mine's me ten to post an instagram video. It's four o'clock thanks,

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