Major reservations goals in supply for the american express. Gold card and, if approved, you can earn four times. Membership rewards point at restaurants worldwide following dreams and earn three times points on flights, but directly with airlines or on amex travel that calm blood. You can Your card number right away, if approved ineligible for instant card number, learn more about the american express gold card at W. W daddy died american express that harm flash. You advise gold terms, gold terms, a black eyes, It's a brandy, new gas from elite athlete marathon? Everyone mickey mental, jean owner, possessor of long strand, dna undefeated in any

thing he puts out there. This was going on in my head right now, since I was gonna answer, is the rocky fame player, but by the time the butter calm down. The tom can suck my dick is eating, grow right now, grow? I went. I can listen to some of the podcast of me, aryan tom Emmy orient ahmed Joe, when there are saying compete them. I couldn't finish marathon and further I was gonna isolate somebody audio of the on and posted instagram, followed by. Some of these, be, you for pictures of me running the l a marathon yesterday, yeah Why didn't you? I'm gonna do a later today, but it's sad because, Joe and is even killed. This of everything is going bert. Just it won't be easy, like orient sure. Do it you're fucked up, you can do your job I would love for Joe to be the one going it's impossible, but Joe is on the one watch jos like it, would be very difficult by the way, Joe is very apt

You're it it was, it was intense and we with no training jody Call me today, that's our guest today, I know you're gonna, gonna, wanna, zip Word in here. Joey's start talking, everyone loves joey, but Joey commented. I got a bunch of really great calls and tax from friends saying how proud they were of me and how, awesome was now inspirational. It was it was a very moved Bobby Kelly, called me wrong. Bennington. I guess I got really like I mean, like my texts were blown up this morning. Now it was really nice and and- and you know, I bus balls with tom Joe and anne, but I'd take. I talked to Tommy the second. I finish the reason we weren't make fond of each other. We were having a good time and he was there was very sweet. We talked, a lot about the marathon. I talk alone What about a marathon with joey on this I dont know what we shared joey

is called me out. Me said dog, I'm fuckin, prouder na goes, you said you'd fuck and doing your fuckin did it and he goes. What are you doin at three o clock and I was like I was literally going to shoot down santa monica I was like I'm going to shoot, but I'll be back by three thirty and he goes I'm coming to your house, we're podcast and I'm just proud of you. I will talk, talk ARI should talk tommy. I got an idea. You gotta challenges cocksucker to something we can. We literally just an impromptu podcast till we came over and we decided to recur in guest for those you wondering about the marathon very quickly. I'm pike, what is more in detail on our solo park. I thank everyone for this in the solar biogas last week which, by the way, you got some really good comments on your website. I'm gonna go through those comments and address them in so let it be. What is it'll, but it really help me. By doing my show last beginning grand rapids, just a talk through material or talk through ideas is, really helpful when you're stand up comic, so I will cover. Indeed

hell this Ella marathon on the solo podcast this week, but suffices I am not moving great today. If Europe, planning on doing. A marathon training doesn't hurt. I wouldn't advise anyone to go ahead and do what I did because it was intense, but I'd said I d. This way, and so I did it. This way: no training, Training is not entirely true. No training, honour, no training! You didn't bird, warlike, arbitrary thought, worse, training legitimacy will do what material do they do it. When I say that there were people that I, what were was with the starting line, who were like man I'd I've been training for like six months for this. right. I want someone pass me and they were. People that were more out of shape and I was well, but do you think the guy with the two trained know he's got?

key managing. So what we are doing he's gonna get laddies. Do that I'm a babe ruth and gay man he's got the babe ruth and mickey mental gene is still. There is so law right. That literally was trailing behind dragon like this guy there. So what you don't know there's a guy, but so let me ok, so the girls and I and bert sister go down to watch you at the finish line right. So we get up to the finish line to the to the light fencing and I look, and I go- is that guy? running with a tuba any the tuba was dresses. Big bird. The table was dressed as big bird. Any was playing the toolbar How do you rise and whose jogging you're playing that nobody was blowing? The dew was my mind with loud LEO. Take them going. How was it running a marathon would have put a fucking too. It was easily. Fifteen minutes me any was easily fifteen years older than you

We saw him me and has used trio were together. strain, probably as much as I did just right just a little regular running on a treadmill when you're on the road, no roadwork, no long runs no with a lot of things you're supposed to do to train for a marathon, and I'm going to try to train for a half marathon and see how fast I can run a half. and I think I can break two hours an end. I talk out of my ass at a hyperbole but real easy. I think I'm gonna break two hours yeah, and so he trained yeah. If I train, but we saw him and we go and in as they will be spoken, I brought you had a fuckin tuba. You like I make, as is right, each hollow we're fucking, killing yeah. Well. That guy crossed the finish line for ten minutes before you did and by the way raising he was playing the tube claim to know it was you playing the tuba? He was doing like the marching band like turned to the side

like moves, he was lying, and this is miles wanting six as mild twenty six. It was ridiculous. There were even I'll tell you this and if, if, if, if I know that one meat when I ran the half marathon, a guy named valentines, whose law dog something and on twitter. I follow his weight loss journey. He saw that I ran a half marathon with no training. Any set of bert can do that then I can lose weight and he's was started at four plus, like four hundred and fifty pounds he's down to like three eighty four. Seventy He looks great colombian dead, serious and so, if, if there's any inspiration to be given No, that you can run a marathon. You can you don't even have to have a tuba. You dont there are guys there are so people out there doing it. That would blow your mind and if you want to do the training it's a great way to get in shape and it's a great event. I would gambling are we to have marathon by the way, I probably will never do. Another marathon is nice. It's a bucket list adventure, but as a long day it was a fuck.

long day, five and a half hours I was running. I haven't done anything for five hours. I have a hard time sitting on a plane, sober for violent bowers right and it was a beast. It was a great way to see the city. it would didn't. It lacked anne and it'll. Once again we'll talk about this in depth, the whole race on solar power. I guess- or maybe not at all- maybe we'll cover right now, but at last the commodity and the community that a half marathon brings to at last, the commodity and the almost like brotherhood that those spartan races or the tough mutter brings to you. Why it just is. Why is it more of like a competition? No is just is just everyone's in their own little fucking circle of hell and just trying to get through it, and you just have me buy when you get to seven miles. Seventeen you're just like you're. Looking at gone like I said it. I say I said it on this and I said it a number of times

They say the walls at mile, twenty, I'm not in joking. I don't even know if it's part of what happens in your brain, but when I saw the mile twenty marker. On my right hand, side. I saw people falling to the great like falling to the ground. Dropping collapsing thousand laying the ground like someone was trying to move his leg. That's really bad and my leg start going to talk about this a little bit, but my legs started going, and that is where I said. Training would have been a good idea right, as I got. I know. I have whatever it is in my brain or ago? I'm not! I don't quit. I just don't quit winston churchill has a great joe quote about quitting. Can you looked at it broke with thirty? It's only. It is a fact that the only way to lose if you quit- and my mom gave me that quote when I started stand up, and I said I would I can succeed in this and I don't quit by the way, much arrogant

much more areas of a statement is me at twenty five years old saying I will. I will fill up theatre, full theatres, full of people multiple shows at an evening, and they will each pay money too. Watch me talk. That's a much more arrogant statement than I can run a marathon with no training. I mean if you said that to any driver at twelve twenty five year old you'd be like you're out of your fucking mind right, but man I I just decided, quit, and I just I when I walked. I walked when I had to walk, and I ran and I could run and I ate every demanded to me a drink everything they handed to me and thank you so much I will never be able to tell you. The guy on santa a boulevard by the guy station who enemy the ice. Cold bottled water like machine, the guy that was playing guitar with my shirt on on the street, all the people ryan, dick who I went to high school college with who came

was I saw that I was one of the marathon and then ran with me for a little bit now and then went to the farmers market. I it was so cool, I think it was britain who saw me at the store and took a video of me at the store it do. There are so many cool things about This problem will never do merit another marathon, but it was it was it was. It was lot a. There is a feeling you get rachel ray told it to me when you jump off when you jump out of a plane where it's like, you have a secret that no one knows about. There is a weird kind of self confidence that builds up in you when you run across your city when you run from dodger stadium to the sea and you get to the ocean when you get to the ocean- and you see the ocean man, it is I'm sorry cry and I was like bark: if not will do anything, there is a little boat feeling about the wording and- and I

also what I realise in this light. I multiply touch about this little bit with the progress of Joey bottom I was like? I want to get much better shape, only get really good shape and forty five I want get in- really great shape. Amr run more half marathons. I would like to draw to a sprint triathlon. Oh my god, would like, but I was like why not? Why not like? I don't really have any hobbies. Why not make like being active? doing some races and and and running and being, and she wanted to Add that to a list of activities go low paddle boarding. When I wanna go paddle boring, I think I'm gonna go. when I go to why I'm flying out a day before the girls, I think I'm gonna run a boat and get a guide to take me. Scuba, diving and just be more active that one of the things I thought about during that race was. Why am I doing this? Like

there is a point where you question: why am I doing this night? I think part of me for seven years. I was condition to do these tent pull activities with travel channel once every two weeks, five times ray two weeks or ten times every two weeks. I would do these insane crazy things Hiking six hours into the jungle in vietnam with a fuckin forty, impact on your back through rivers, up mountains, pit vipers through villages into a cave, then rappelling into the cave, and I think there is this this this innate and every human to feel that to feel the challenge they get past it an unknown urban someone who gives a fuck about any of that night ever and I think I had so much of it. I was condition so much for it. The party really tat it really caught up with me and tom, and already when we start doing these ridiculous challenges. There was like I needed

challenge. I need something to entertain me to look to draw my focus on not thinking about writing jokes, just nonstop right, I mean no joke and I've talked about. This would show the other night at the store. Those challenges are so much fucking fun They are so much fucking fun when we did so bright However, when we did the weight loss challenge, they are so much fun. that, like you know, when I realized tommy, wasn't to escapes, you shoot a movie and it was ridiculous. No one's gonna, let us let him skate on a marathon and we'd have to do our own course, and it might be boring as farc and it will. idiot activity we ever wanted it to be right, but I was I was like I was with tom minority and we were in atlanta, and I said I signed up for the l a marathon and both of them were like proud of me they're, like really, and I said yeah and they were like do. That is so awesome that I want. I want the challenge

for myself. I want to challenge myself right and I don't think enough people do that in this society. They don't challenge themselves now, and I don't think so and and on that fucking run, I was like wow. This is a challenge right here. So I went to look for more than life amendment of figure, The next challenge remain orient tom. We gotta do soon. I think I think it's just I just love it. I loved you somethin mid summer with those two knuckle heads here and but take everyone for sport me. I had a fuckin blast. I'm really proud of you Thank you very much, and you know what it was cool is to hear the girls say they were proud of me yeah they were they both independently were like dad. Like georgia pulled me aside. She goes I'm wearing the pools because I'm really proud of you dad, like that's, really a big deal. Yeah and I was like thank you and then Ila was like. Did you run the whole way I was like? Why walked at times? You are okay,

it would read. What does that mean right? You know I'm still very broad eu dad it's ok, it's ok. Did you find that winston churchill quote nevermind anyway What's interesting, is in running this marathon. I realized that now the proper sunglasses. Ah all my sunglasses are addressed. Go out sunglasses. I realise that I don't have any active sunglasses. Luckily, our friends at movement- sunglasses and watches the movement people. They saw sunglasses to yeah there dressed up in glass and glasses. They ve these, I got a pair and there the car- of pair that look bad ass through be a shit and their murdered out aviators, murdered out aviators, with a great carrying caveat there, they're awesome and an expert if you know I got these. If I went to a son, So that's what a pain in the ass by the way when you get it,

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castles nurse at thirty dollars off your first order. If you visit blue apron dotcom, slash broadcast so check out this week's manual planned again your thirty dollars off a blue apron. dot com slash broadcast. Ladies and gentlemen, blue apron a better way to cook I'm starving right now. I am too sorry if it's long intro to the podcast this week, I just I dunno I had a busy weekend and I was excited, to share with you guys a little bit There's a new writer. I ever talk. Tour dates hold on babe, I'm coming I'm from wrapping up. I know I gotta leave in five minutes to go pick up. Ila, oh, where she had she's at tories, okay, working on a school project, but I got it. their basic, so okay, sacramento punchline after I've, mentioned this. The podcast, but we have added a sunday show on the twenty six. There's two sunday shows me just out of the late one

I just laugh and laugh out loud, san Antonio, the fifth, sixth and seventh of April, comedy off broadway, the twelfth thirteenth and fourteenth wise guys, the nineteenth twentieth and twenty first zany is the third fourth, and then I think I'm in alabama that's in june on the sixth? No, no, no there's another club in but good a burden. Calm yourself, some merchandise. bert coins coming up around the corner. Mickey mantle In short, we are designed them this week. If you have a design for the became apple. Jean sure, that you want to send to us. We will cut you off. jack. You gonna have to sign something we're gonna cut like so I'm your gave. I mean I don't know if we like, if we like, you would like it. If you like, I was just going to buy everything. Someone say: that's why I have my wife to be honest, I mean, I'm not gonna be yeah. Now, if you have mental turn, we will cut you a check you want to. price number right. Now, no ok, but if we like it or not.

Well gotta? Go we'll get back to you, we'll get back to you yeah, so have you ever designed for the big metal shirt, send it to us email to a bird at berber dot com, or I mrs on twitter, on mrs probably is an on What you would, but you will have to sign some this, as we have ownership to the thing. So if you don't want to do it, because Part of the thing legally, my lawyer makes me do that and there have been the cool guys? Like I'm sorry, I didn't want to sign it over to you because I d created, but that is part of that but we will cut you a check, will figure something and then something this fair or will just create one this week bothers created or why designer data will pay. Someone is created anyway. Sorry bert coins or come in there. Getting process were figuring out and then er challenge coins other and then making mental shirt, and that's it guys I'm having a hard time walking, I'm going I'm on my way back into the house. Takes them like will go to sleep, but for the next hour

and a half hour in forty five minutes enjoy one of my favorite human beings on the planet one of the greatest guys I've been blessed to be friends with stan comedian, pod, castor actor. all around life coach. When it comes to the man, bird crozier, joey, ds, yeah, I'm really focus or body as well. Congratulations, you did it. You went down there fucking drunk from the night before you didn't, give a fuck jackson's chest infection chose it. I had I was coughing so bad, then

before now had you run? It allows us to train the about, like the whole thing was like that, I said, I said had said the aryan joe and tom, and I was a shape that I run Lena. Like first volley love break my balls, but then the like you're, not really running you're not really running as ignore abroad. On the treadmill and then does not really running I just did that. I did what I normally do like just walk on the trip, run by never and I'd run a half marathon before, but never

I wouldn't didn't, do like the marathon plan, like you get you're supposed to do like a plan where you yeah, you starts eight weeks before yeah yeah this. These people do age runs yeah, they do age runs and you go over there and you sign up and it's like sundays and thursdays at the pasadena orange bowl, and they start from you from scratch stretches, and then they give you homework yeah. They give you homework to do and that, but at least show with a coach somebody who you know the night before tell you to eat two pounds of pasta, whatever the fuck. They do: red beans or rice. They eat a bunch of carbs the night before not and drink Tito's vodka. You know, that's not a corporation, you know what I'm saying that don't help that I got so so I would have been so many other aspects to this day. Oh, you should have done. I looked at the training last night I was in bed and I was looking over. The training program was and is it it does make sense. Let us be very on amr Moussa week like something because I ask somebody like what the training thing

oh about miles a week like excusing like fifty miles a week. Are you fucking crazy? There are you. Fucking Is he like fifty? My something oh yeah, I know it's not that you always remember logging. The thing that I had run. That would run like twenty miles wheat, which is by the way, an overstatement like that. I'd run miles weeks and their these guys are put in. They do four mile- runs almost every day and then on sunday they were doing like they have a day off. They take a day off, which I know my days I but like the data travel and then they do long slow distance run so like they do fifty miles, but you just do fifty miles for the day and those runs I cannot do like. I know, have I can't get out and run for two hours on the streets on a sunday like I can in here, and the man gave poor cocktail, braun fuckin, guys grocery games or guys very and walk and John I can do. That is easy. Is the same so the same

Finally, when I got out of the prison at the halfway house, I would go to work a ten year, some like what the fuck am I gonna. Do I went to the guy had a garage before I got locked up, that I read the four thirty five bucks and had a punch and bag and just metal, weights and weights and shit and I'd bench press and do bent over rows and one day somebody said you ever try running. When I got locked up, you gotta run when you get locked up gotta move here, so I would run around the track, but you know we converse on and shit and then, when I got to boulder, I started running on the creek in the mornings like at seven thirty. I do a two miles three miles when I started

in heels, spurs on Monday night at the harvest. Restaurant. Those days upstairs was a sneaker store and running specialists would come little bolder twenty years ago. Boulder is a very fit city yeah. It still is it still like people do moonlight walks and shit. You know it's fucking crazy, like when you look at activities. Yeah their list of activities is completely different than any other cities, but they are all. But I got the spurs on my heel and my heel here does like that's from run like a gorilla, you gotta learn how to ride. So I went to his office. He shot cortisone in there. You have no flock an idea wouldn't do that. This is what I wasn't a needle guy at all here and he shot the court. If one bulb and they won't. Let me out, will they, like you, scan colleges, disappeared, mobilise I didn't deal needles well like a nose

days. There wasn't a needle in my life for ten years. At one time like now, I forced myself to go to acupuncture to the doctor to draw blood, but back then there was no needles in my world and fucking. That was the biggest pain ever when he shot me into the bursar and squalls the fucking syringe with cortisone, and I will have to wear orthotics and he didn't. Let me run for six weeks, but it while I lived in boulder, I I used to swim and the master from programme- and she was, I was checks that did the hawaiian tat, the army or madcap sign language, She would coach and she would come talk and she told me to do by thing. I didn't I was a big runner. I smoke a joint and I'm in running, shape out and go for a run, but not on concrete, really yeah. I did too much of that today. At fifty five, I feel it

Oh yeah yeah I go to north hollywood park and run around that dirty dick falls. I love that. I love north hollywood. Great that's a great little park. That's a great look great and run you can run through the center of the do the trees yeah. I know it's a great little park if you really want to get in shape dave. Have you seen those guys at work out there in the morning? Oh yeah, this is like, like eight white guys and like six black dudes, it's all they do is that bar work out there. I can't even do one pull up some of those guys that I see the guy shredded the roller things shredded. Oh, do those guys shredded yeah they're doing those like those like new york, brooklyn work, harlem, more doubts on the The present wording the out of prison. What those over those guys are oppressive, yeah, fuck and pull up shop. squats, I started running trembles because I was gonna he'll spurs. I had he'll spurs probably or maybe like four years ago I had a real bad and I went to get raft in arriving as yet when they put the knuckles and shall yeah yeah yeah screamin you tap and

with party shoes I like suits yeah, I'm fifty five years old. I will dress like a sixteen year old. It's not because I want to is because I can't wear party shoes. I can't wear flip flops, but I can't wear sneakers I don't have inserts and apple. In search of my I have like extra inserts, I can't wear boots. I used to love war in vietnam. Those days are done. Those cowboy boots rugged know that that's what one of those things will kill you. One of the reasons I can I I you know. I told I told argument on that. I was like I could do it easy with no training can do a marathon. I think you don't smoke, so it's not You know you know every small corner and that so, if you will have just train

a little bit. You wouldn't have worried me as much will that little training at mile twenty I went. Oh here's, why people train cause I was like at mile twenty was. It was like we all got infected with the disease and it showed up at the exact same time. That's when they say you hit the wall and Joey people were dropping down collapsing on the ground falling onto the sidewalk with your legs. Just starts. Spasm, ing like your your calves, your quads and there's this guy. I heard and I'd heard him on rogan David goggins and he was like he was like embrace the suck and you think of cameron like always give amran and all I thought was yeah. But you can't hammer through this like this. Is no longer work so in my hand. I was like our rights to slow down our throats, like all of you, need to walk a little bit now when you walk, but I was like,

oh, the training is for these moments so that your legs work for the twenty six miles and then the other thing I think it is like like at one point I was like this is how you end up getting he'll spurs again like by going out in doing it hard like this. I think I'd dodge at I feel, fine, my people, you always wanted sneakers, We are in by god I used to on that I'd I'd god did at half marathon, and then I got new shoes. So these are the ones that I got back then, but on me a product like in all honesty for, like sixty miles, I was, felt great for sixty miles. I was like as actors. I got this. Seventy mm, Also I was seventy miles have gotten my head. It was the first time I got my head rose like I was like. I have nine, miles to do like I don't normally run nine miles at all, let alone nine miles after seventeen miles and then eight. and was going up hill. I can tell you right now: eighteen was going

pill and twentieth started uphill until twenty three and twenty is when I was like I'm not giving up. I'm not gonna quit, but I was like ok. This is what this is what's hard about, a marathon twenty. That's when you're like. Oh, this is a fuckin beast. Thirty miles was around its we running dodger stating that the communist or. I don't mean element is on callous billig cakewalk, like cake, walk super easy ran it supervision. The pace, I my half marathon. Sixteen. I also like sixty about thirty miles. It's all down, hilda sixty miles. So your literally flying joey running. Why don't want you taken up now take up running? I am oh eminent taken running, get yourself a little coach. today s amendments others like I was like amazon, but we don't want to lay ralphie, is complex and that I, like your treadmill, there's a purposeful aberdeen. Only their purpose

yeah. You know the whole thing about running. Is it's fucking, seventy degrees in California? Today you could drive to a fucking north hollywood park stretch out, I used to love getting a kettlebell going to know what I weighed three hundred fifty fucking pounds. I would take my shirt off going to north hollywood park and get by a tree when it was really hot, and I would do the the fuckin swings in the sun. but I'm cool off under the tree and there's no better suntan lotion than your own fucking, sweat. No, I would leave that dark. Like Jesus Christ, like you got to dirty one o'clock around that you know we live in california be outside and I think the endorphins and all when Lee would tell me that he'd do the stairmaster and watch a movie. It would piss me off because that's not what that's for

yeah it's not what it's for, but it makes it easy for a guy likely or like my year, but no no, no you're doing this to to get away for an hour. They escaped that two hits. If a joint that has really gathered so brilliant that you have to get on one fucking thing and put your earphones on and leave the fucking phone at home. nice school you're around the corner from the school The thing happens anyway: you go to that know how you walk one lap and then you run and then you know, and then you'll see other people and they're like hey and next thing. You know you've got three fucking fags running together Three days a week, you got like an old guy that sixty black dude that site I put it on looking foyer I actually put on the marathon I'm looking for, and that was three black dudes and I'm like what the fuck is: barrett I found it just like another race, but the beaten us three black do three black dudes twenty miles.

and they've been doing that all their life they've been chasing fucking. Zebras shit and getting chased by lions with one of those black do dangle, do not do my like doing a touch them in that way. I thought about the nigerian boots, the other from because its to elevate and somewhere in africa. The guy was saying you see these reduce it. They were thereas with twenty six miles where they live, the elevation was so high that they they do this innovation. Had. I lay with the polluter issue, pollution and a face, and these reflect fucking little african due to run from me at a fuckin thousand oxen back here. but then I found I saw the other race and I saw a regular people. I saw some fashion do. There are a lot of a lot of other people that there is a lot like just killing your boss the sharp eye, the woods, So depressing is when you would boston. Calls cause is shit. You'd run our code vein juice by sixteen and eighteen. Was cute, like I'm three, the pound, something about it and the effort is veto does

it is willing, but the flesh is much too much like You can access and finally, she was tapping out Oh ten miles that, yes, he was tapping out dog, I'm a fat fuck! There's no way. I would try to walk that just allah general pra. I knew I wouldn't be able to do anything. The rest of the week, saw a woman should her yeah sure. pants in front of me- and I I was like I was I was- is that this is like I am assuming she looked a guy awhile, wealthy white woman, but she got it you would never. My wife would never should have bands to be all she shit, her pants and just kept going- and I was like I was like this- is fucking real The worst is when you see an overweight person in front of you and you don't have a fucking they doing this dude I got beat. I got beat by disable guy, like a guy full blown seat, cerebral palsy on the right side of his body. his dad run, it likes savages joey like just, and I was looking at him and he was in pain and use

no fuck this and then you look at em, you like, oh, my god, man start running, What are we inspire? Do it? Is it? What you said is so brilliant because although my alma running on the it's all, I do an end its it's. The is how I our egos again unlikely. I get up a watch tv. I know the treadmill watch. Maybe football or I watch a guy's grocery games. Oh no, that's not it, but when I did the race yesterday I was there was a point when I was running and I was going through downtown and it was like three miles in and I was like This is my city. I live in the same. I've never seen the city this way accorded to chinatown run through downtown the disney building running through echo park is silverlake. and then run and down hollywood and there and down the hills and grown ups, ever since then, you dislike, while as school when I got to the place where the ocean

will you come down and you at the ocean in your about done, you like half a mile left. It was like a religious experience and I thought I thought to myself What have I done all this roadwork I've been running on the road this time and gone exploring little places in the city. I bet this would have been a lot more fuckin fun and your brain is forced when you're not watching a tv and you're just doing a repetitive thing. Man, I e O'Brien, is one needs the exercise. I man, I am Joey I've. Never that's crazy! usually my former car. When I got to extract in conditioning. I leave my phone in the car, I'm just a fat fuck in the back of the class and at one hour that you're nobody, he had no body you just zero used and regular human being tried again shape, and when you

guys. Why don't I walk out of that conditioning class at ten fifteen? I got the world by the balls three days a week because I did the hottest thing on my door. I do a podcast called yellow stays in front of sixteen people. That's nothing! But that hour for the mind that what I didn't do when I motor was all calmly. That's why blew up to four hundred pounds was all we do is get coffee and talk comedians about things you don't even do you know now- you, like you- watch a gala grogan who, when you go on ice on the road rogan, can work out. That seem like unreal to me really like. I just did forty I want a stem ass to what are you talking about all the road and then I realized, sometimes now by four o clock. Fuckin saddle alma. You know what I'm gonna go. Do elliptical and just throw some dumbbells around because that's all there is and the hotel yeah, but it's better than sitting in this israel,

you sent off those on the fence. In your mind, you get room. Service used at talks a they may pick up and you're a new fucking man, your pact, already of savage life. All your pack, or might not be a better feelin and having your room pact. Pat Natalie, shower, still sweat and a little bit from your work out, and then and a cargo more downstairs, and you know all you gotta do is to show through shows forgotten dodge or you. not as to pick up the envelope. Do the two shows. I love satellites leslie tool, but I get up early, get focus, super stoned and I go right now, sleep I once like some law, although some whatever's anti anti cobb what the fuck is anti anti. I absorbed for about an hour when I nod from my mind dirty to about one third I get up hungry you go to the bar whatever.

Down the block little lunch, you go back to your room right a little bit. Some tv read a book, then you start packing and then you go to the gym. Then you come back. He order some room service you'll have to leave the room. You wash your pussy and they call you to call today and tell you that downstairs your package, ready. All he had was come back. Take that half his annex wake up, get the car drink your protein drank and shoot the flock. import and pray. There's no emails from american airlines. Yak was once you open a phone up before that says: american airlines, you, like your flight, spindle

it's a ten fifty eu, but the car still come in at four forty five later model car picks me up at four. Where are you going tomorrow? New york city, what are you doing on your tuesday, my buddies? Releasing a book da the cooperation about the cuba mom in new jersey really, and he interviewed me for his name- is tj english and he wrote a couple other books. So I'm going to his book signing premier and then Wednesday, I'm known to shows in nyack and thursday, my back on job blue meant. I sleep, maybe three hours really. I get amid number two to four and six euros by yourself. I plugged asleep apnea machina I'd taken an edible and not be known. Although the chickens waken me up here, the landing Mr Diaz, obviously plug the sleep ibm. We put all my case. They give you a little meant for your bad breath, the sleep, badly machine? I get out

tomorrow. I know, but the armenians, I d Italia, went to dubai with his wife. Does the army and uber driver you just call them for us, yeah yeah, that he pulls to the side new budget I'll just take one. His little calves and terminal six, nine, nine fifteen I'll be home by ten thirty may be because of jet blue or whatever it is montage on jet blue. so I get my luggage first, I'm going to wait like the puerto ricans I get my love, its first. I go right to the tab, We have all been overturned cars and the four or five I'll be home by ten fifteen. I throw my shit and half of my wife, but my suitcase away our drive to crowd therapy get zapped gonna do that crow then leave their maybe go home. Tiggle will not be known a wash my pussy. So what's crow the total growth derby body? Please eddie, it's been told them about four years, rogan that brain of I didn't I didn't know. I thought that was like. I thought it was like those for his back I'd ever thought. Was I just from working out for us, like freezing like two hundred below zero

three minutes. So all these people told me about it. I'm fifty five, but I feel it. What I'd do some life Last tuesday, I went to the store that one cocktail now one cocktail, but I stayed out till one The next day was example. I don't have a fifty five. I want backed away watches You can see that a bizarre way watch you just can't really you just can't. I didn't. when a beam cannot had a whole fuckin girl scout cookie box? I need that apples, ten minutes will they are one of the more of them working. I ain't a couple apples that Dennis opera eat some apples. First, I stopped. I didn't smoke, leading up to the marathons where we have like a month so but I carry around that little packs, vape pen and I just take go ahead hit and I did a spot at the store. One night two shows

I have a cocktail and I take a vape pen and start talking to Joe in the back, get ready for my special talking about this bit that I was trying to figure out hit the vape pen. I have like two cocktails, maybe at the store and come home, and I took a boxes samoan to face like I've fucking a knowledge to match. I would not stein every minute after eleven you get hungry and hungry when you're a fucking. You do well was two weeks ago. I ended up with Lee at the coral diner at midnight after a podcast eat a cheese omelet with toast and hash browns. On my, I can't do this. No more so now the edibles are killing me. Like fifty milligrams. Like last night, I was watching at close range. Have you ever seen that Austria is that with Clint eastwood, Christopher Walken and sean penn? Yes, yes and I watched the beginning of it in the morning, and then I got home last night early from the podcast about a quarter.

Neither somebody wants the rest of it. There was one point I was seeing doubles and I weighed one hundred milligrams. I had some beef jerky that had thc in it and I got the weed that killed stephen hawkins, though the falcon the lid won't even put on it. That's how strong it is the largest possible, the bible, because these white stores disliked bahraini on all those this ellen below average we'd? Now the solemn recreational, we really doesn't get you stand anymore. That's it and I always go perennial. You gotta the russians now to get the deep, deep rerun dollar by the was. What were you going now? I can't say, but Where are you off to make big? I share tat flocking strong. They still got two hundred milligrams balls. They don't give a fuck about the law. They said fought the war effect. They opened a six and serve bathe really. So why

wait, may you get yourself bagel leni wholesale points are way. Watches will cream cheese from their place on ventre. Ah, fucking around no more, the russians don't fuck away. I wondered I was wondering in that race that yesterday I was like. I wonder if I took the high cbd edibles I was like cause. I I think those high sea beady edibles are gonna, be the new, a seat of medicine, the new I did yeah yeah that good and you should also take in the shroom tax. If you will a pub to shrimp diced reach room tax, really you would around the twenty six miles that shit kicks in on mar sixteen really! Yes, quadriceps mushrooms. I saw those for item on it. The way I do a half a one, I'm gonna kick box and some one is in some ways I gotta stop. Hunger nellie really. What does it do? He just spoken expand your lungs, but you get more oxygen.

Feels like I can use a next time. Papa fuckin work itself up, get a couple bottle from Aubrey and day. fuckin, a ratio for those and a cup of espresso yeah whew. Oh, do you know what they had yesterday? They had those they have. These gel packs that you it's like it's just basically potassium and like sodium and glucose It's still caffeine hundred milligrams, shots caffeine, you sucked out one or two and it's just a packet gel suck it down and a hundred grams caffeine in you're, like a lot that baby and you just- and it would be right if, like forty five minutes an hour and then you'd ever follow. How long did you run altogether? Five hours of fifty four five hours and thirty three God bless you ok length of welcome two minutes. Do you should ask you should have heard ARI? I talk to orient Tom right after, like literally minutes after where they supposed to do the race. Also, now what was it?

big deal online, he's not donating tangier, fucking Tom Tom just is dick, is eat. He added He had challenged me to say he said he could roller skate a marathon faster than lower on a funny thing allows you roller skate. Those are toms. I hope that I hope not because all you need is tight, pants drive the boys crazy with those things you there's a tangible gates. He is going to escape the marathon and saving escape at faster than I could run it. He had Skater has a roller stated in our problem, thirty, two years so like you and I gotta it's a brand new set of muscles trust me was scaled, a bunch and even when I put on roller skates, I have a hard time. The next day he had done the outside of those legs done, and so I think it was more like a joke. We were fucking around on rogan podcast. I don't think he ever really literally plan on doing it, but then, when I started the marathon roads. Are you tom statement, and so as a joke goes like no tom backed out at times, and what sort of call him the new welsh good- and he do they hate me-

I welcome in tom, just wrote, posted a video and said I just talked to print crystals, whatever the fuck. He calls me- and he was He said if you can finish the marathon donate ten thousand dollars to children's hospital and if you can't twenty which was like, why would I don't eat ten thousand dollars? If I do like what the fuck that's out of bed and then, It's like. If I am donating to donate ten thousand dollars, it's going to be the majority. I hope I'm not going to just donate it to wherever You tell I'm not gonna, let you bully me and donating or how Komori way has area involve, because our loves the fuckin is the three of us love the drama. So restart fuckin, time and again, I'm so proud of bread or bird for fuckin. donating money, all donate five hundred thirty five dollars and then and then everyone starts so people started believing them and gone. Man, you really are a great guy, bert and then, of course in the majority of people are like. Oh I'm so proud of you.

Bird, you such a generally, like whatever the fuck around and Sudan I just ignore it. I'm like I'm, definitely not donating ten thousand dollars. If I can finish arrays like those do it the other way. If I can't finish all don't turn, but if I can you guys like deserted in saying I could never run a marathon Joe. Tom, we're like you, could not run a marathon there like you. In all fairness, I think Joe, was saying you could papa. I know it joe saying, but I know oriented we're like you- could now finish a marathon never- and I was like if we do a marathon, no training and the like impossible. There, like an hour, is my dad. Did it and my dad reigned and he took him six hours in fifteen minutes. You couldn't be my dad's time, I'm not like at all but your daddy's eighty are you like. I can definitely think I can do it as I can keep faced with an eighty year old and this thirty minutes ago, one of the tweet congratulations

two bert crisis for not only running a marathon, but also for finishing top five in your way class I think there was any way you could do it. I was wrong sorry for not believing you and in the mc email, Jean fuckin sat there. That's the thing is like I I jokingly said I had this mickey mantle gene. I china believe it a little bit right. Go you can do whatever you put your mind to. I mickey make him editing. We all night! I get up like a born the next day I kin long strand dna. I can go. I like I just flit my brain and I go. I can do whatever they like Tom. we did the weight loss challenge tom. Really started like seven months out before we did the weight loss challenge. He was so seven months you started training for his weight, loss challenge and attacking maybe we started to do the challenge. I was this same way to him, and I lost forty five pounds in thirty days and in Jos, like how nice on health

and I just instead of going yea or tolerate- is unhealthy. Bulgaria, I am well aware that I just like out to mickey managing and may started making fun of me per se. I had this mickey mammal jean, where it was like. I can just put my mind. nothing! I just do it I go it's friend dna So then we did the sober october. I was like. I could easily not during for a month and all of them impossible. You'll have strokes, you're going seizure out, there's no fuckin way. I go mickey managing I can do it did it. the next. When we went back into the biogas again. That's when I brought the marathon- and they were like in all remember- definitely oriented like you could never do a marathon, never do a marathon. You could not do a marathon. We're out of shows run. I want you call Joe up. Would you Joe Joe runs a couple days a week so say that's what I'd do our challenge you and twas award show

yeah cause of war challenge him to a fucking sample yeah. I dunno I dunno. I dunno boredom put my mickey mantle gene up against the Joe rogan gf. Take a chance columbus day do half a marathon Whipple mall show me how it's done. I think violence in four largest challenge, it's a fucking marathon a day given six months to get in shape, yeah and tell him your whip, em all out train at all. No, you gotta train you gotta fuck up your secretly trained by unit training. You've got the mickey mantle gene, but meanwhile, you're fuckin rather for me at all die every day and then fuck em up by my body, May I meet their words: Kuala mouth six might economy gregor column us six months ahead of time and gone daring, hurry fuckin, oh yeah, Joe and thomas fat. The fuckin challenged me to a thirteen ma maritime in fuckin

orange county yeah. I should do have marathons regarding one in orange county and yet when armies in town for there's no fuckin conflicting australian dates, shit and get him they have they suffer. You got yourself to Joe. I bet, if you decide to do so much I'll, fuck em up do great. He would rate in the EU. Have flip he's gotten his head into running yeah. So, an EU china had enjoyed. You fall in love with that feeling yeah it's better and smoke impact. running away, you're running up the hill first time I am sure that I hate it, but once you start do and get the hang of it at the end of it is in fact, a column they just set loses. Psychology wednesday sperm is everywhere there is there. Is that that data that that, runners how you get we're like there's a part or I'm listening to through fighters ever long and I'm runnin downhill, silverlake and that high

or you're, just like dude, I'm gone crushing like at that time. I was running it like a eight minute mile pays just blind down the hill and you'd like that runners high, is no general job and then it anything you do. I give you jumped in a pool at seven in the morning he swam for now. Will you get out of that boy? You know you're a fella. like a million bucks, same thing for running no matter what you do when you wake up early and do it that you don't have a gun to your head, is doing a kindness or your ball sack Plague a little something for the podcast that some onions I had at lunch. I went over and had the fucking albacore sizzling albacore sushi there, Sliced albacore, no rice would onions, big chunks of garlic and how a panel you tapers

I saw she throw a chunk of wasabi on it. You mix it up good, and then you poured over the albacore no points on weight. Watchers, though, he's got no points, wasabi got no points and fish with no rise. Gotten no points for my game. You inhale that, like a savage and then I had a little philly roll just about it's me off, I don't have the salmon lunchbox so I'd four points in the philly row and zero fuckin albacore like a soldier. we'll be fine all night and tomorrow on the plane was that guy. it develops and congratulating you stomach, you don't want I don't get up with those people when they fought real bad on a plane because they too narrowly flight. You didn't get a chance to shit and I hold it for two hours on their flight. You have a home. The fine and twisted dude We gladly shit, I give you gotta garlic westward the version rose color.

income, rose and see what comes out the first time. You should grow a clean job, dude that I went to the sing rosa my parents, one time and won't play golf. The next day on all of us were just fighting and stinking to donate some of those farts smell all it took when What hata? That's certain sauced agenda sauce do my guide shit will flopping take is dumb. Did you on that thing? At the swiss chris knows, I lost like five pounds. What is it it's a pearl. You on amazon, it's a sally said the thing he lost while piles on it you go on amazon, the first righi drop to pills and the second week you drop for pills, and let you asshole open the second fucked him play rule on securing opens every then comes out from your bert bubble gum I saw a fortune every then you wait as a kid the one sunday night every hour on the outer shit,

really you should everything out bubble, gum old, meet all those all toxins that sit in your fuckin stomach is small, intestine hear you. What's the name of the pill? Only guess was chris its wiser for two weeks, two weeks, two pillars the first week and for pills and night before you go to bed the second week, screw the first week. Your stomach just makes weird noises. You'll call me go joy now for none. I heard a noise and my stomach I've never before, but once you start shit, the one that should obtain out of my ass. I was. It came from in the toilet had a little handle at the end and everything it was. places dick was what different colors for real african black mexican black and all in one shit, this stuff is brilliant right now, right now, a ninety, nine and cart you take to pills. Night for the first week and then, for the second week. You'll call me by second? We go joey. What is happening to me.

Alright, I just ordered a color, looks better in your face really takes. While the talks had an ally, fine about it, I'll eat a dick yeah. How did you find out about prison? You know prison or whatever at least designs that have a budget to help prison trick yeah he he doesn't even have ten pounds to lose, but he did he when he did the one of those hours. This is not happening, he was heavier. Then he said he started working at what I magically in the south sister mountain. I don't think or I don't think I don't think it's so I think running has to do with your brain cause. I don't think orient Tom could run a half marathon. I don't think their brain, like Tom could and I think, always type a knucklehead yeah. Let's say you got them into yoga that month and he went yeah. He killed it. He went, he went to you know he'll. Do it yeah while he likes to take a shirt off maybe I'll move. I'm sure we'll do apologise that our three thus an up and challenge and come up with a date and everything. So we do cast in July before even though in a maritime set four november will do

Why are you have marathon, norway, you you're off that weekend and tom? You cancel the moon and just say and don't say a word. Whoever speaks first loses yup just drop anonymous. What they say. Whoever speaks first loses already. You should have heard this the sound of tom's voice when he called me and he goes. You really ran a fucking marathon and I was like yeah. he was like it was almost like it was either. When I say that it was like that mickey mantle genes, real a cap on the last of the real deal, united, not just socially drink, and let people know you don't give a fuck. I wouldn't let you drink for the planned gas, because, right now, your muscles hydrated arabia, muslim, evoke erech, download dehydration even more so why fuck around with boost tomorrow's one day. The galle is water, low reefer become the lungs, were no you're right, yeah, maybe a little cold shower mama stamp and give us some fuckin. Twenty

six miles from the shadow that was a yeah. We we, how would you? How did you lose weight when you're at your biggest, I hit the bag and I rode the bicycle at the Y m c a at night when nobody was around really and all I would go to swimming at four forty five in the morning and do swimming hard. Shit swimming. Is the mother fucker swimming I wouldn't mind. I wish there was a pool I could get in close to here and swim cause. I would I would like to be on the swim team. When I was in high school. You know my flexibility and my shoulders as fuck to do a regular over the shoulder area. So I have to pull myself, which is better in a way. It's good for your shoulders and your back or I'll put a boy between my eggs are just fuckin pull myself, but there's no. I e the pools around here. These poor without the call to shit Jesus Christ. That Y m say not. North hollywood well know how my daughter does it. Oh my

It was freezing. I couldn't do that one in hollywood call, but they got a warm water pool. They got like a ninety degree. Water pool as four feet he go in at five in the morning: they got a steam bath. Sauna. You put a little eucalyptus on the sauna clean out your nostrils. Coke rocks wall app. That was my game back then It's the cocktail three and then jerk off to four forty five and go to the Y or creepy they'd, be like a gay guy in their lane in the sauna. Make 'em like this only gay do go in assigning a completely naked and land thousands of deaths annually shave, their bulgy. Again, I say to russia's go in there. They sit there and they drink. I bought a white little fairy add on peer at five in the morning, I would go with it. I know who was still affluent before because they were gonna pick up here, get freaky and shit. So the gay guys will always lay likened the steam bad naked. With a dick out like verify you like what tough

fuck you, I would lay like this and public there, no class dude. I was used to go to the sauna and steam room at crunch on sunset, all fuck you and the asked the dude, I'm saki odd, dude soccer did all year, the place. Santa Monica there's a gym ambit. We lost yet again. Dad TAT is oh yeah. many john. They loved aunt Hannah saw but across the street and aunt has as a protein place that makes motion shit the best in town protein shade, really really like good, but next to it. There's a man, gay gemlike, Jem now suck my dick in there for shock and gower there's a dead, all gemma gower. My frank christie mellow used to work. This is commedia, knew your great lady and when I was for eighteen, she could

it, but she finagle me a membership really, and I would go there late night and it's all gay. I saw some action and now I guys hooking up and holding hands, but nobody ever bothered me in fact the gay guys kind of nice to me. They would come over and say you're a big guy. You sure you're, okay and I would go yeah. I mean that diner, for me to pass out to come over put their dick in my lap will on sleep. I mean, I would even say the leaves, but I was gay. Do that's cool is shit, an open micro and a guide to the leader of my country, my gable legally the tv screen had men fuckin in the back men. well, fuck illegally, those. Yet nobody was real nice to me sure they got somebody functioning as five referral free. fresh asshole. You know what I'm saying any gay guy could fuck a gay guy, but to convert a guy, that's ten points. That's I always thought that we were talking to me and my buddy were talking to Andy dick one time like I don't know vanity, gay or not, but he was

talking like he was more like. Does premier hooked up with a straight guy needs? Are, Those are the battles of the best. I guess it's that's your challenge. Anybody could closer gay guy closer, a regular guy. Can you imagine me you do more blow with a couple of lines in the morning on my beard, how long you want to I think for you like what are you talking about and I convince you to come on board just give a little success, see how you are around guys. You want to suck dick, don't you you are running close to that guy's asshole in the race. Oh, that's gotta be fucking amazing, if you're gay to talk to which, guy into it all by god. That's I talk to a girl. That's coming over to your house to paint the sunken you dick at harvard type shit yeah. if you're going to work on slow with magic. Remember that Bobby Slayton joked that that's a bad ass motherfucker in the world, James bond, no chips come over to kill him. when suckers dec. The bad guy the world come over to fucking, kill you and national. Secondly, the college's bunker do that shit here

so we have only been no stanhope about two or three months. Really, What probably is a good little writer he's like a woody allen, nerdy type yeah like he has good little jokes and he goes out to three shows a night and really yeah he's into it. God bless them, listen like I told him, even if he doesn't continue with it. It's going to lead him towards he wants to do. He knows he doesn't know he's like any other fucking powerlessly he's going to be thirty in july, oh yeah, a fucking dirty dirty, you don't know dick about deck, and you don't need to know dick about dick. All you need to know is trying to get happy and try to find what you love and figure out how to make money doing it

if your thirty's that your twenties dicking around we're going to fuck until one day you know what I'm going to polish roller skates and roller skates and I'd say you open up your own roller skate business and there you are yeah, porno fuck knows but nothing's not going to happen. My lad, trying to write all my golly. What's your involved in this you're learning this from a different eye, you are seeing what we do on the podcast and the god knows you might be a manager. You might end up a producer Imagine a tunnel agent, you might be a stand up. You might be a camera guy, that's what this is all about. You really don't know. I know Well, I was going to be a stand, though, but how many guys have you talked to have conversations with had deep conversations about stand that they went to montreal and unseen? then you're on a commercial addition every hour behind a camera. Well. I really wanted to work on a day like what the fuck are you talking about yeah. I came here to be a stand up. Understand that

yeah I'd income with a bunch of like little We thought I never thought I'd do the road. I thought you just lived in new york and stand up. I didn't know that the road. A men knew there was allay by noted, did stand up in a it was just in new york, I started. I I knew so little about the bilbao is my appeal to it to travel, really the travel and I did and the waking up somewhat different every day really light. Tat whole thing was what I we liked about it. You know like when I watch movies. I as a kid I saw these I've lived alone. You know we grew up on kung fu. He went from town to town yeah the problems you know yeah. I liked it. I liked gone into the unknown, not knowing I will have all your life when you're a child. You go to college and you try to become this person had twenty five that

responsible and as a job, and you have credit cards and a car and all this shit and right before you were when you get your degree and you realize what you've taught got yourself into you're like what did I do? Do I really want a brown bag to work every day for five fucking, He is and hated him what I gotta godly am whose great but listen You lived in georgia inside of you, live in, jointly answer. simply what are you a week concerned you work monday to friday, the ups. I lay do shit with the girls. Andy eagerly adds pirates? The alpha That's what your life will be in weak, that's what your life would be now these people that love living. In that thing, when I got TAT the first time at twenty five, I had a wife and kid. It was like this,

This is it so I get a job, and I do this time. Sixty five and some people tell me I'm a great man get me a gold watch yeah. This is what you tell me. This is the bill, a lady, my generation not solve. We were told my high school to poland The other you know we're talking vastly over a couple of people who are young a college degree. Yet let me ask some: when you go for a job they talk to you by me, laugh no, no, not even once you can write down whatever the fuck you want Oh yeah. You know these are not needed college. All your threat is bs. Go club, lord state batteries, if that's what you have yeah yeah yeah, I think I think yeah. I think that's it, you know. Did you go to college? I went to music school for years and what do you do now produce podcasts? Okay, they know you don't know what the fuck you want to dubya and now these kids are coming out to eat. I mean you have two daughters and you have

one, that's right around the corner from getting in this mess quick. You know she's howled, now, twelve, thirteen, no team. In four years in three years, georgia is going to be talking about colleges at fucking, dinner, and you know- and you want to look at it and go ga- can I take you for a ride- let's go to a bar I enjoyed you look I but children led the college. Experience I didn't have what you add. I wasn't part of a frat. I went there like a fuckin victim. I was looking for purposes. I want that arrive at a flock of action that are what tuesday, thursday, six, twelve credit whatever it was. What, if do it all over again. Man, like the whole thing They're going to college is a beautiful day, but at the end, georgia, I'm drop in four hundred jeez. Which you're gonna pay to hundred a bitch yeah cause. I pay.

And my father and pay for mine by two hundred ambitious and at the afford. If you going want a real world, george want you do this once you book, my fuckin dates wants do this, for you got do retail about the world, learn about how people idea tyler coming back and ten minutes to buy the radio. I learned I'll, let you know the idea went to a new work after eleven years, loyalty to one acupuncture tourist. I just figured out was to watch. It was too much read it an hour down a marine thou ray. spend allow it and it's an hour back once a week, week, even when I got on the road three hours for no fight. That's too much. So after eleven years I broke out- and I said, let me explore my things up here and I went to this acupuncture I didn't even go group on. I just asked around, and everybody referred me to the same guy and I

I dare to see him and the guy was fucking great yeah. My guy left while blown away like I had been doing acupuncture, but it was I two thousand to acupuncture. this guy's living in fucking acupuncture world. Like He knew he said shit to me, though I was like this guy knows what door, and that was A friday can do you know Monday. I walk in from my errands and on top of my dad was a couple leathers. My wife dropped him in the office and one of them was a card. I opened it and it was from thy daughter, handwritten, saying thank you for coming. I hope you looked over your reports. I hope to see you again. I picked up the phone and I made an appointment with him and I came back and I told my wife, even my acupuncturist moves next door to me. I'll still go to this guy because he said

The thank you card that some that's forgotten this country. They don't teach that that's something I learned from selling cars. When I come back from an audition, I walk in the door. I opened the computer and I look at the audition sheet and I look at the casting directors address. Take a thank you card and I ride that and I send them I've been doing this for years. In fact, I was a target one day admiral Chabot, an eye in hollywood. Like one afternoon I went to the doctor like one morning, I said. Let me go to target on danny is also. Can I want to target who's in there, but maz jobrani with his kids yeah, and I picked up a few things and he asked me what was I doing that hour and I got to pick him up. Thank you cards for auditions and he goes he looked at me goes. I remember when I used to do that the alec, a smile on his face, and he goes, I think, it's time to get a few boxes really yeah, because that's too should I learn from selling cars. Somebody come seizure, you, they walk out,

da you'd, better information cinema. Thank you, claude. You call him in today's check a ban on. Did you make a decision? in seven days now, you're right, I'm a ladder and explain to him had written out. These are the basics of life, we've forgotten twenty years ago, when you shop to the darker tassel and you will and every day for christmas, they gave you a coun. Nobody gives your account and nobody even send your fucking car the christmas. No mere lemuel. You gotta agency would always have a christmas party yup, there's no more christmas! these no sudden part of it already used to have fuckin parties. Three was filled with black and food ping. Adders saw data. nobody thy shit, no more! We await us. We ve changed we don't wanna, we want to communicate three. That's why returning attacks. I will I'll never return. Somebody's tax must use tax might make a definite.

Either that or you're blue in the phone. You text message me the other morning and it freaked me the fuck out yeah. I thought something was wrong to he never texts. You can text me to your green, the face one I do alone and if it's for business you're, definitely not getting a text back from me is if you're that fucking stupid I know why you're my life, I stopped. I start like. If you take me for a date, only fancy, but now we are only words. You back your dead, you dead, If I don't know, the number two gets erased does, namely an opened. Oh, I just got a new phone and I'm getting tax from people and I'm just like our blocked, number on a like that. I don't know this percentage, dumbo you're in no danger you call them that follow ring to your mother. Fuckin head follow up you'll, never propping get the number I'll play games, relieve into money. Fuckin knucklehead, Scott, you shit, may call you know. Yes

I don't know you. I dunno not have somebody bumped into me or the dog. I buy texture ten times, but I don't get text messages. Who was a gig? You should have called that's business yeah. If not, I don't want to do business with your fucking rotten ass. Gotta get a little dirty texts. When I can thing is the subway bothered him. I stopped to I kind of stopped looking at emails because I figured if it's important, someone will call me about it, Look at the mouth. I don't I don't. I don't really like our open, a modern flip through them, I got a lot of times because I tell people just cecily aunt on it and if its importantly, we'll be located. You get that email about this, but I got it just like him. My in my email and boxes, ike ridiculous. I get flooded with fuckin so much

bam that I just I guess just started, don't you have a fucking box that deciphers that show ma'am gmail no apple, oh yeah, yeah, no, I'm old school! I still got hotmail. I'm still plagued with forty five thousand unread emails, yeah you're fucker rita forty five thousand, how embarrassing disarray some? What are you gonna be a space for just two? based on what I opened it and it's like like. Maybe I should read that one that was what that should. I did today would shoot you some thing for this parenting Parenting website does talking about being a bad parent, I think is, but I dunno I sent Natasha done it. So I was like oh fuck if that Natasha and the cure sultana, but had done it, and I was like I'll go:

and do it for an hour. That's why that's what I drove down to sell give me an envelope or yeah. Alright, then you gotta do it was nice and then came back is perfect. My legs are fuckin in so much goddamn pain. You have some cbd oil. I don't know you go to fuckin perennial, buy cbd, one one, really one the one cbd and sprayed on the tongue three to four times. Tonight really have to finish the podcast called perennial book records trafficking, I'm going to go over perennial. I want to go to the. I wonder what our times at cry, cryogenic place, open eight o'clock it's right around the corner from real but a perennial. It's on its on colfax and then toy you get your car. You go back, I'm into one had to hungary is little more than the big, store a chinese restaurant. Magic shop- that pile therapies right in their real go in their time is your first time twenty nine dollars, though pushing a thing, does not panic.

roy panic, breathe audio knows its fresh oxygen, really fresh oxygen. Tells you it's hard tarragon. Do it teresa fuckin pussy. I love my wife. What she also flung acupuncture one time. you put a needle and left the room, my. Why was it yeah my wife way, she's indian the sooner or later, issued arrows shit like that, and I quote that shit that acupuncture all work on them. It's, like you know, oh she wanted there, she freaked out after, like thirty seconds I went in, there was no. What happened I heard about. joe I'm fifty five? I really go away for three hundred pounds, as you rise outcome to eighty five, joint away, watches disseminate the three o nine to eighty five is rate said: You gotta get away from the ralphie central. Does nothing for you want stage. It does nothing for you.

Well, I had. All of this is tightening a diet, food. I was just tightening your die. I was toying with the idea of like when, when I was running this marathon, I thought this is ridiculous, that I can't go faster than my body's like the other I'm forty years old, yeah and I was like I was like I need to test number one. I need to draw weight on you. I need to drop the way, there's too much frame and- and the other thing I was like I was like- I can't do another, and I mean I just did my last special with my shirt off because, like I can't just keep doing with my shirt off, I gotta put my shirt on like I'm, gonna fuckin lose weight, gangway shape and then it'll be ridiculous I think we will especially gotta six pack. We buy you changed the world changed the world. People go burka, do what I could do it so next special with the six pack other plants, in those roles gates of the escape up and we'll drive the boys rays. Tat will be there looking your hole in the hope of a quota, The guy is at home. I now go and I can't fucking believe this fucking do. Did it goblet.

It's good for you he's he's so that you get to tweet about the guy sitting next to you on the plane, for it and yeah, was he fighting bad reverently, but I was far too so I thought it was me, I'll just rippling do we're sitting use passed out fucking I am ass gone, and there is a couple next to us and I let out the first part and then he stopped. That now for its black thought there were jews mine. So what I did I just turned the though the arab to blow down and then what I do. Sometimes I didn't do it this flight, but what I do sometimes I get a a coffee filter with coffee beans in it from the flight attendant and sit on. I sit on it and I fart in a vat. That's the best way to fuckin like that's. The best way was the marathon is worth drinking tea, those with a shoot you do, but you actually listen when I the planned that plane tickets, expensive, volatile fart

It's bombs away. I don't give a fuck about nobody. Yeah, I just sit. I look straight ahead and I can adjust my fucking hips, so the fart blows up and there's a fan on the side. If you have a smoke or vape depend on a plane, really you'll notice. If you take the window seat. That's why you slow he too small for an hour really here because of the air is on the bottom tested. Next time you have a vapor pan where a hooded sweatshirt and take the pen and pulling your sleeve and hid it enjoyed this watch out fast small goes really when you five does not need to put coffee beans in your ass. Let's just leave your underwear on. I was like a coffee filter catches, the loose shit, those prepackaged coffee filters with the coffee beer. You sit on that you fart it just smells like the bruins Are we not do that? All the time pay too much replied ticket? I live likewise, I fly with sweats now

of reallowance is allowed to take my about off. Do as I got up clear. I am a pimp like I got clear. Do I go right up? I put my balls in the thing she cuts in front. I love it. You just cut in front of white people. They can get pissy at me and you're good right. They cut right, they don't even if they're about to pick up. The suitcase analytical excuse me go yeah, I put my shit on. There got sweats on with a thing. I wear a white t shirt. It's sweatshirt. I want to get a nice pair of sweats on us fly in the new balance. Yeah nice sneakers, you're, comfortable vr, walk of you will fly to Detroit. That's the problem here. Pay, the flying fly with genes and, above all, I think my belt door then put it back on fuck you, my wife got me some nike, sweats nice, I put nice, beyond these on first, not sack you get a vapor pen, I hiding the sleep abner machine. I got my ipad a book, an ipod,

I got my speakers. I got his annex, I gotta vegetable We do a player. We prepare to fly to mark a five hour flight tomorrow. the drive on the uber fly and the orbit drive down. The first thing I do when I get up on tomorrow at three am: is pop papa protein. Shake I go out to to the fucking bathroom smoke, some pot- a sharper shake them my wife or make me an egg sandwich summer, truth to exile piece of white bread, a piece of cheese, the eggs, a free, so it ovaries. Your four points, I'm a fucking side up, I want to like the yoke with the cheese fuckin tremendous I'll put the tale. I am here, to save on the points by Tom I get to the EP well fuck and for, if I'm a terminal five, they got that good, placing at the old mill yeah you got twenty five is a delta out there. They have their place it you go in the area, they have eliminate this year. All but american terminals, for

gave forty nine to forty eight. Here you go in there that little area to the left to the left and they had a fucking hamburger with a will a piece of egg on top with cheese with steak, fries, it'll, put hair on your mother's pussy. Do you understand because your mother's pussy or grow black hair like it did in the beginning? It is oh good, but you gotta you gotta catch the six, a m flight, it don't open to five, he already boarding interoperable quoted a six year so fly american. If our cats, at eight thirty one, my dick, gets hot cousin, Six, a gonna burger they, whether you know a guy there. That bar has that has the the pork sandwiches. What with the most arose museum, As with the mustard, the really really hot raschid made. A rush of leaps me of leaves yea dad wanna that mustard, so spicy it'll make your car.

restaurant, american airline, american airlines, the bar this boat right, you don't get gotta, walk the bar to go back to the berger joint. They got that they have got to the spicy mustard. They gotta a get a turkey's image? Reuben you get any the sandwich, but without mustard my guy some airports to item I flatter kelly. I was thursday. Does I leave early because I know I get a steak and eggs from they got whatever their borders oh yeah, yeah yeah right out the right yeah. I guess I ll follow stake them leg, spock finance! Some! We toast there's just some pausing. When you leave euston, you get some breakfast talk owes us. Then, to get breakfast, tat those newly buffalo. They at them be fun. Works Oh, my god, are you fucking that was good about those airports. Are you know, travel show just about the food at airports? Oh my god, newark newark, here

What blows here, but if you fly into virgin and flat a virgin? They got a world famous crab cake place in newark really and you get to crab cakes two eggs, sunny side up and toast. Let me taste some you're pissed that you didn't take two more for a flight. Really, the crab cakes are out of this fucking world. We went me and billy guard our flying out of pittsburgh. And we're going up the escalator where they got that franco. Harris cats in the ball, billiards road, The strong bullies here through the falcon roof, as it really goes best strong breakfast stumble ever had my life walk up to breakfast on bullies I had. I literally was like how, by this is now- Then I will do every time, women as some airports, that a tip top, they have seen chicago

although italian food- oh my god, oh I go there all the time they get to fucking the hour delay. All the time I make rogan go in there. I've made a thousand people going to ari phi phi. In chicago and it's a two hour delay. My dick gets hard because I go right to the italian restaurant. I put the fucking napkin online, like I'm vito corleone. All I fucking go bananas. I love all that shit. I have all the cities picked that yeah there's certain cities. When I used to snort coke, that's what I really got to learn. breakfast, but oh yeah you want to do, is eat of rio that plane fuck it used in hobby right when you get to that terminally had breakfast tacos, polio, tedo, eggs and tourism, which some fuckin south

but eight of those. Oh, my god, I will have like eight of those were with rice and beans and a fucking coke. Your plane is nappy no time you have a half a xanax and a fucking edible yeah. I haven't taken a xanax on a flight in so long. I got babies I have the two point: two five: they don't do that and that's what yeah that's what I'll pop them before I go. Onstage I get anxiety before I go. Onstage really I throw more way than what I take. Oh yeah yeah tomorrow I'll get up, anxious and I'll pop on before the play here. Our fifty milligrams are we to do what I told you at the house. It's jeb blue and it's fuckin mentally got that they give you five options on the menu, at all. You just sit there and give you a little med. They give you a little mid drink in the beginning, like a little mint julep. You can have it

vodka without vodka. Then they bring your case with stuff to cover your eyes. You get a little mid tier toothbrush, so when you wake up, you can brush your teeth, like a fucking human being Are you pressed? I bet all away back. Are you going to sit with somebody? I up the sit by myself. I pay the extra tariff to sit so low in the fuckin boot. You slide. The thing They prepared you put on godfather to have it on the flat screen. They got directv jack blue mid and only from here to boston and from here You have to admit, never flown jaw. That's what pimps, fuckin fly. I gotta check that out. That's all I've only for an american every tumbled out a flight of new york, because the an american first class you never got a bump. Are you there the bump into canada, no, no and you're gonna bump. The chicago note that never gonna give you love gretna bill, don't ever catching up gringo unhindered academy. I have called

the great coming back from kelly and business class. Yeah. I have what upgrades coming back for some reason and now I fly seven thirty sevens into miami american. They don't fly to seven. Sixty sevens of the southern sevens, a triple sevens. So if you do get one, created you on six hour flight in an upright, like you, don't get the sleeper bed. I want to see deeper bad. The business class an american is is closer to a sleeper, but I want a fuckin sleep. I might change, I might just change everything you made me not you're. The reason I stopped to a sunday shows and you're gonna be the reason I'm just weren't sweats on a plane. So my god, I guess I weren't you great I drownded. All that ring on language like Joe says that fuckin will it with a maniac fanny packing to hijack edible, your money, your wallet. Everything is one thing that was, it was me, is asleep at me back, I can't go it awakens they might break it.

So as a side compartment yeah, that's what my computer, my computer, fits perfectly. My ipod I put when I get on the plane. I don't need my wallet. I got upgraded, so I put my wallet in there. My pockets of ninety you'll need your cell phone. So why take off I have is my ipod. I always start off with the same song bush that, whatever Is it the sound of winter? And then I go over I go over to fell on black days by sound guide and after that everything mixes in the edible and the xanax. I gotta try taking the I want to try taking a you. Gotta take an edible with a xanax to take the edge off. Really all that's the combo bumbo I'm going to try it. That's the combo I'll! Try tonight yeah, yeah yeah sleep good, to leave it to you to the ten hours sleep to recover. Drink approach He showed tonight before you got a better idea to get your body nourishing even You gotta got a gene sit down. Gimme some protein just saw

go to listen to me. Listen to me up! you only at a love this place to see my fair, replace. Now you gotta know how, across the street, from lonely, theatre. Ok, it's called the greenhouse juice, replace hooker. They have parking in the back. Suddenly been part of it. It's tough to get park and lancashire across from the landlady. So just go around, the back are magnolia and park back there. They have parking for this place really is called a greenhouse, jerusalem and get back to me. Oh god, it's gonna be a world after you work half an hour. The fuckin protein shake with coffee beans, its epic protein, which is a big and protein they put arm and milk. cocoa beans, banana coconut.

we think is free, except the almond milk. As a point for a cup and the protein powder is too, they have composure, poach on tap, I'm thinking again, kombucha on tap for the fucking house. I told rogan to get it, they have ginger, they have orange to have grape. They have cherry on tap twelve and sixteen ounces. They got fuckin smoothies, the girl coco berry, will not you the fuck out with a scoop, a protein pad. Listen to me, I'm fifty five years old dog. You could take your kale Shut up your mom's asshole upload joys got a confession to make another brick, croatia, podcast I've been drinking caille. Lately you really shakes because what court? What gets the soreness I'd apple juice? Pineapple juicer, really go in there by an apple juice. Chair, We extract all those things. Help with so unless they have everything there. The other thing for a bean, whatever that's called. They have everything there, sir.

go in there and get the pineapple cocoa pineapple? It's coconut pineapple juice, press, pineapple juice, which is three points for fuckin. Sixteen fucking ounces. It's got no sugar and it's pressed and get the fucking kale in it. They cut the stems off. That's what gives it the shitty flavor dog. I live off those things, so I got a kickboxing I get out of ten and I zoom right over there. I got that about composure and a flock in the chocolate one is tremendous and of another one. The ass I e on the fucking balls o neil balls of fuckin off the chain have one corporate tie, a fruit dragon fruit mango. I'm telling you you only I gotta you gonna go Joey. I cannot believe visa dialogue done is done. fourteen dollars, twelve dollars, who gives a fuck you drink in the best of guys fuck it dynamite guy really but its next. Why a place?

the tunnel, it's a tough one, I'm sorry it's just that they lose regional aid. Wrought worse thing I had like I've read write you sit on. I need this kale shake, oh, but the fuckin. They do a great like the guy. I said: listen, you guys are going to break man, I'm old, it's time for me to start drinking these green things yeah. That green shit is on and they'll tell you like. I don't put. Ah good thea, what's a raise before becomes a raise and a date grape or a date yeah. I don't put the dates in that protein shake cause. The fights are fuckin death. It was like somebody died next year with somebody dies next year that last partner ass and when like licence,

I have a friend that used to has a funeral parlour still, so we were kids heats colleague. What are you doing that? Let's go pick up a body and we'd go pick up bodies and when you pull them off the fucking slabs and times onto the fucking autopsy table, and we do list away mean you are having a conversation really like. I go burt. What are we doing tonight? We were doing dog we're getting a grab a blow against some bitches, but I got to pick up a body at seven. Thirty, take a ride and I'd take a row and I'll pick up the fucking body. Then we go back to the funeral pile and take the body out of the car. been wrapper and one tat emma was going to see the jackson's. The Michael Jackson's jackson's and eighty four

well, when they went back on tour, we're back on tour for the victory hour. Yes, it was my buddy had tickets at the meadowlands and my buddy goes I'll drive your particular our me to pick up a body I'll, never forget that and out you could just pull off the limo pull him and the legs pop out the from the thing that they push a man and he pulled it off and the and I was on the phone. And the body came towards me and I was on a forward a girl. Tell me I'll meet you at six and the bodies on skates, like it's on wheels Its role and towards me when it hit me the guy's mouth open in the last, far came out of his ass and I can't tell- how bad that rule smelt. Ah, I have that one last gastric flock and air that comes out of their assets, but inside a dead per year for maybe six or seven hours he must have dialect that morning it was fucked him terrific shit, sunk into your clothes? I then we use

to lift weights down there. So you could smell the fuckin, the shit that they embalmed me with embalming, fluid yeah, you dip a joint and embalming fluid you let it dry and then you smoke that fucking cap see you tomorrow, Doug. I did that a few times you get him. You get a joiner, we dip, thou half of it in embalming, flew and let that thing separate. Today's days will you smoke that formaldehyde aw shut off of twelve hours, gambie dust, real Yeah yeah, poorly thought of sight go formaldehyde. You have no idea, you can sell those joy four hundred hours of fucking join Natalie. Oh, I have that good from a good reefer with dipped formaldehyde people lose their minds on that ship Oh, my doubly: does it no more? Nobody remembers that shit was What was that all is what they called getting wet. They call see

the devil and fucking enjoying it. I used to smoke that when I was like eighteen nineteen and then I used to go to the city and in those days will, wherever the weed spot was they also sold phrase three dollar bags of like angel dust, but they always have a name for it. It was called see crystal one. I was grown up tac crystal yeah. That's what you called it to compete doubt that you will get you into pcb year. Eleven tried who was? There was galifron tranquilize. You would sprinkler. Three thou bag was enough for a pin joint but couldn't smoke by itself because it wall burn. So you have to pull the rug although I still remember smoking, I should have ten in the morning and be in fucking high at nine o'clock at night on a bus and go and what the fuck that I smoke today. There have been high for fuckin twelve hours

really well that we used to snort that shit fucking ain't, because again they will cut it with, like coke up cut your net. In those days they told you that they they boiled the stems from the and then they scrape the sides and that you snort that was bullshit. I think I will. This stems from weed and whatever sticks to the side of the pot. You scraped at you, freeze that, and you put it in were powder use, not let you get high, but that was a lot. We were slump. Your fuckin guerrilla biscuits was one fuckin animal tranquilizers somebody's had died alive. You them say somebody's care, surgery rather why he was alive, who used to be I used to do put toothpaste on a cigarette called a jailhouse joint. It was a duty I mean I in all honesty, I don't

not a lot like I mean I I remember it really, but like a not like you get a by had buzz, we do glade were you, wrapper your towel around, it think laid, and then you inhaled the stuff inside the glade, but towers, stopping the aerosol? Yes, you just getting the whatever the sides of the glade. Is that was We did that a lot grown up out of work, your world. I wish I had done it as much as I did it like. I think that's some I gotta get up to me. Oh my god. I think now. I'm scared like sometimes only what I thought that I do. I put my body when I wish. You would think it's not like, I think, ralphie dunno. Obviously ralphie was really big, but then I go like oh look. When you see someone healthy die and you're like, I can't believe they died and you're like what all the shit I've done, all the dangerous shit. Don't just fucking job off buildings, skydiving, rhine motorcycles and scuba diving

and in fighting fighting bear as a tame and lions and like all this, it's when the sharks, when I get me being alive and then, like my sister, this friend was born. On the same day, I was shooed my sisters age. She was like two years younger than me: she's been dead for twelve years. She had a brain, tumor just died and then oh, like fuck, why did she never did a thing, never even drink? You know a swede. It's weird, especially as you get older, you get a little scared like I did this. I smoked those years. That's why I take it so seriously. Now yeah. You know I get mad at my agents. I really enforce the the What I'll every other week rule I mean I gave them my dates issue you don't bug thursday joy book, agnostic, thou, come back to back. No more, I'm not get stressed out, I'm not the one shit you know there's a way that I don't want to end up like richard jenny. I don't want to end up like

ralphie where you know this is we cure. We have given our right now and the result Does some money supply that I I'd never want go on the road, because I have. that's never gonna happen in my life, that's horrible feeling! I want to do well me because I want to because I want to watch them, make people laugh and have a good time when I work two weeks. After back or three weeks back to back the third week that again embodies worth yeah again a robot that doesn't want to be there. Why would I put them through that? You have to be honest with yourself at one point as a comic it's, like I told you once you shoot you special together by comedy for toledo, I'll, listen to me! That's fine! No don't forget about come. If I did not even several like dont, you dont done for a month, yet I mean not even look at stand that you just do your part gas and focus on your work because got that x.

That you just finished, working your ass off the two months every fuckin day in training trying to look good because by the special is looking good, be loyalty healthy and now they put you back out there with the same material. You work in a new shit. Your parents they heard it now, you're not publish by I'll, make it up later get up. This will be made up. It's not will not go nowhere. Hello, don't you put it off avoidable philadelphia has been. This is seventeen, seventy six and I'll. Be there two thousand. Nobody you have to say like did on this and I saw richard jelly- take like I've, seen people that have been put on the road for no reason that broke them out themselves, the agents they were prepared for that they were twenty people who one last comic standing when not for that beating called ralphie. One last comic standing here

was already levelling robes. That's what people do not understand. That was the difference. Ralphie was hocus pocus threat that and beat him because they want to asian or whatever not taken away from that fat. But ralphie was a season headline that still headline in up to six months ago still had arms. Until he die so didn't, show that I I didn't say yet a mighty died. This has to be something that we do, that to kill us wanna, be bobby slain warehouse. go on the road, because I have a home in cold water cannon and they have to impress the crises. from about the gracious. I really doubt I really doubt I'm doing this and the healthiest way that I can like a beginner the park ass. I could get great guy I could still go on the road and be solid I booked. Then we don't book, though we don't read it. It's not on the schedule. Look at the dates: if you don't get. Those dates is not gonna work. It's every other week

Stay at home raise my daughter for a week I don't let me go on a thursday. Let me focus on what I'm saying yeah. I thought that week that you're going to be focused on the health. I was two weeks I did the special. I took three weeks off. I did this last this week and I did a gig in grand rapid is but whose one night one night later and are a church. It was decided that technically theater and they came home. and then a known. I was thinking about this. For me, it's not as much about doing the wrong but like, I don't want to feel like, I have to do spot in the city. If I don't feel like do smokey covered a lot of the store. No, but that's it yeah! That's your ass! That's the most money, making millions fuckin comic gap. It gave us this nor fight which arcs, no, you need to rest. Yeah I come all you need to rest and live a lie, the tune. I need one that at the store a week ago, what war we are now doing up might and I'll catch flap is on a tuesday night still is set.

I looked back to when you get ready to you last special and we were goin out every night. You have tat, it was fun like we gotta do flap as the house door, black hawk yeah. You have to do that before, especially I'm in training. I didn't go up. I build up, go build up to my lab that item jewel night where are we sowed two nights a week doing improv and then on the road every weekend and then the war. times. I wasn't the store. I was adding Wednesday in tuesday shows on the road from at one point I was like I gotta do the hour. I got into the full hour. I work the outworks, it's the a single, be ours. What was your home? You call a lot less severe. Does a secret next time. It gives me a file. I'm gonna go grey you for six weeks, a half hour they get married. They I got the six weeks after the shooting better series every week for wonder special, get your he's on you two centuries before

Are they gonna? Show me at the fort war? Flap is talking to you. We are going Joe, gordon it's jitsu, the kid just! Let you know one side of my life. Before the special comes at once. I shoot that special. Wherever they shoot it, you will see for a man of san up. I'm not wasting. My time no more, I will take the ice house as that. There's a new field are opened up and down. town, I lay the mayfair fat data. You could get a rest It is there that, given him away real- one night a week, go at five hours at the door, a hundred people for weeks you what a residence italy, and I'm staying home hundred to two hundred hours on tuesdays, defend about order raspberry, you tape. It you go home, you could get your buddy jolly music, come down what a camera and tb you it's a tape. You get more than you would. If you want Just for the money is, and then you go four, we are all get your timing back and then every

the weak until the special gets released, and then you do the thursday in the same way you the Wednesday show but they're just put me that has been my wheels anymore, crazy, I'm tool it's too much. It's too much. You don't know what they want. You beg answer. I want herpes. I can't get it. What are you going to do so? What they want you to know, but listen. I gotta do that, because I've got a daughter. I got my health. I've got a podcast. I remember when I went on the week and I'll never forget this. I still have the numbers you come over. We still have I one on the road. For a week straight, the podcast numbers dropped so fucking bad after week. Four really yet those who can focus the echoes, you'd, be here you're. So good about that, like you so good about that about making sure you have time for the podcast you, this is up, but people want to hear this conversation on week. This

as part of their whatever you told me that deliver on my name, Wednesday they watch on Monday, was in a first. Couple ways is used our message. They start listen. I know and you gotta be attentive for your part cash. You have to be free. If you don't want man, if you don't want to go out onto is- and I don't go out onto center- I fuck in a corner for spots. You know why why, I don't know what I'm I feel I don't on last friday. Oh, I so friday and saturday. I don't touch spot. I'm in town. I do comedy you want to go to the fourth wall, five minutes worth of the fourth wall burbank and you just get on colfax shoot to burbank park, give the guy five dollars. You do five minutes and you watch young comics and you look at their eyes and look at what they want. what would you got? They want to be with you, I now and once you look at that again, you get reminded of what you want, but the just

He brought out every week because I think we can mean I didn't tell you I was I don't actually all of what we do to find. It won't do fifteen on salaries. Fifth and now I let you do fifteen minutes, you just try out the verbiage really yeah and if you kill in front of open mic as you could kill anyway yeah, but you get to go back to the slumps. You get to go back to member one of the rumor. That was one of the rockies where he went with the black guy in the black guy on the east, l a training is what's this: oh, it goes even look at their eyes. They want you out. They want what you got. I wanted to get back there. That's my two! Those three weeks off in December, I did look at specials idle talk, comedians onawandah. Here we never had the opportunity to do that. Interesting, because you do you go to the store and you hang out people. the right, your level? No, your! Where were you don't see that you don't see look in her eyes. I got one which you now that go up there to try new things. Airbus cute he's gonna had on a goatee

not that great, that we have the opportunity to still borders. Dorothy, the the laugh factory but use I would invite. Do mexican rules labour, we're back to reality, you're going to fuck in east l a on a tuesday, and you can show the show's supposed to start at ny, because what this leg again so such a night forty five now rather more drunk or I would always keep myself in the cellar from time it. It's too easy to go to the store. The laugh, acronym problem now still ate baggage, dick of sally at the improbable areas. Did you really? I still. You scared me where were you ate? We were the lab at night, the big low for gregg, of its Seventh, oh yeah, you guys it is about as they show Was it you next watson funny how amicably a We I love the improv. I love what they give me work. I really do love the brows Mobile ala factory, but you know the the

commie stores are home, but when they bring a bird crash recalls, the people know you will get. Is that I ran a got. A flap is one day when nobody knows you try you fuckin pussy material and watched their faces and disney well, yeah, I'm sailor or Added to that, I want to go back right after new year's day I'd new years there were to the fort war all tat was his intimidated. As I was the first time, I went to an open like even the lad had lied, podcast and its intimidated, because europe, pool of sharks of people that had to say dream you had twenty years ago, you got what they want and you look at. add on stage you go with everybody we take him. There has said the same thing to me I gotta go home and I got a right because get so inspired from seeing these

kids go up and you like package, is not taken a joke in this direction. So now you look and I come from a different direction. Either. As a coach now you're a coach, you sit down I would say this right now, all that's a good fuckin premise. If I was a joke thief, deal that you see some great shed a yankee. Some great ship, you got, everybody had taken their steel. some all any comic I've taken there at the end, I gotta go home man. That was too much. I took felicia issues like joey tat places such him. Oh, my god, my heart, it's worth fuckin wall, its seven eleven we are in a similar some eleven that the russian dry, cleaner Y, know May I go to a lasting next to that fuckin. Does the sushi the mexican. So she has rightly said the girl. Ass, his dirty when you go away, You could smell the flu. The good thing is you pay to five hours and you have to

watch everybody they did yet let you leave so it teaches your patience and again- that regular camaraderie back unit targeted joey of because disk joey, these top majority. because he Joe, you told them open makers and they really want to knowledge. I don't go, stage coach. I just go up dando material without giving up vice down advice, fuckin. No, I just got. Do comedy, add to see the look in their eyes during the week because there, when I go on the road I think about them, and it makes me rip fuckin room apply because that's what they want, these kids so what you do. You just go up any night and just give them five bucks. Yeah typical lie. Does it two times a night? Really so now mortal Oh, I talked about rogan going forth wall. They were from door to shows a knight to date.

How about bad at ten o'clock show really so tonight, you're bored your girls go to sleep at nine quarter, the night you go fuck it get in your car. They don't sell booze there you should read up. Back you park, you walk in there. Now you give Joe five hours. Then you get onstage put your way you want, but don't leave us to grow. Stick around and watch the young comics. I was thinking of calling jack, jr and saying hey man. I just got done my special want to write, but I don't I don't like. We talk about this one time right at the store, the store, so in sold out every time you go there. That is hardly go Here we go almoner, I'm gonna. Take I'm not going to end that works, and I'm gonna take all the stuff that, on that I had done no but workshops and do it in my one fuckin spot the main room, did. I did the other night. I went up I done, I was get right issued a special night. One story that wasn't I, working on the road, but I didn't novo work and

up into the main room and I did I just did a story, one story, ten minutes, one story and it fuckin teeter, no one off bach you're. Like you follow in Joe and De Leon, senora tuesday night, it was sebastian delier rogan, The title general the rose, master general and follow that and write did better than the original by the baggage? Dixon samuel I want a day I just scared them to death. Then I went down there thursday night. It was the same schedule pretty much and before I went up, they tapped me on the shoulder and they go. You bring in a Martin lawrence. What and I go a fifteen dollars. These people saw sebastian chris.

Natasha Martin Lawrence holy shit will every class together man, twenty bucks, whatever the fuck it is, so I've been getting overwhelmed. Like I told your mail, I am thirty five and still get spotted the fucking store like how fucking lucky am. I yeah, like they chased them as they chased those old guys. Adam called the warren said the same for you every age never really caught onto you. I don't think like people look at people who get older, but you for some reason: You're here. Aren't you are like a wine, the older you get the better get like you're, not liked some of these people were you go you go. Oh you gotta, like fifty enormous, here we must talk about anymore, because you, the young guy saw himself as a young guy. You know, like those guys, it's sold themselves valuable, because I'm thirty five and I'm hot right, our guy heat, when they get what do people a guy and relate to what you talk about, but we and I think, I'm little bit like this, although I know but like I think me,

you came out of this. We can a part in the park. Asking rural because of the lives we lived and people look at that go of flexible selling we're not branding ourselves as young hot valuable, movie stars were like just comics who live crazy, fuck lives and talk about them. Nothing, I can say is definitely for you, I of if as much as that, but for some reason, I don't think I don't think anyone will ever kick like RON white. No one cares how fucking ages, no they don't give a fuck. They go just get on stage. You fucking funny, yeah stan hope. No one gives a fuck about standups age. I don't even know what stages he's to be getting up there. Yeah gotta be fifty forty eight fifty, but I don't think like, I think, that's the floor that some guys get as they they brand selves as young like having Dane got that a little bit a game. Was this psych young college comic, wherever all college kids wanted to see him and then he got older. I wanted to talk about new stuff. They were like

well what happened to the thing fuckin pussy carpenter, whatever you know like, and he had a hard I'm kind of maturing into being grown up. You know the tough fuckin journey speedily grows. I will pick up my door alright awesome joy. I love you for having me a house in Albuquerque, the fifth in the six to six is already sold out. Tickets are just available for They know you go now albuquerque. Ah, the santa Anna casino far as there have been no, but I would love to go there today, friday, one shelters, they both shows friday a pretty sold out columbus before twenty. is a your columbus for twenty year you gotta be an edible onstage people who will be passed Now you know we do it for you. What I let me tell you right now I don't do sunday shows I do although I do I just out of the sun to sunday shows in sacramento this weekend, yeah yeah yeah. We have two shows us. I want still some taketh left everything else sold out. Bob's, I'm going swept pants and taken away. next with inedible,

let me tell you- and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, Joe. You know how much I love you, but you call me today gratulating la play. Saying you want to talk about the yeah. I'm proud of you embody the zero, a handful of people to call to tell me this is big. You did it, which is part of the fucking deal, is doing the f. You know nobody else did it. an example fiery body, so I'm proud. I thank you for a luxury. Thank you. I love you This episode, How do you bad a machine MR world, here about to take

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