I sit down in the mancave with Rory Albanese to talk about what it was like to work on "The Daily Show", bombing on stage, how stand up is like music, and I talk about filming my netflix special.
Follow Rory on twitter at @Roryalbanese
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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hey guys brand new podcast and we are sick
a shit in the criteria. So yes, Leon is the second
probably last night you tried the fuck. The dog
We finally got a joker turtleneck joke to the girl. I can say fuck the dog, but you did when you do.
tell them that I said molly. I said
it's something like. If the teacher has how sick you are say, I'm really sick. I tried to kiss my sister
last night you get out it get you years all stared at me over.
I don't remember this joke at all yeah. I said it, but yeah we're really sick of anyone's got the flu man. I feel for you. This has been nine days for us
it started right after we came back from filial mandate has been rough, listen just so. You know. I know that we get
mixed reviews on these long intros, and I try to keep him pretty short by do like doing
this with my wife, and so I will do more of that on her podcast.
With her and will do package together. Where we talk
That is fine. I do enjoy that and I'm also
Start a solo podcast that I'm gonna do
in. My man came are released once a week here and we
a test run of one last week. I may talk about them.
so that we released if it's imperative, but I may not at all. I think I'm going to
just talk about what I've been googling we're gonna call it broadcast not like more of me, no
also. I did want the other day and it was pretty fun and was basically
me going through all the stuff that I google throughout the week
I don't want to do this segment of where you pull up your history on your safari history, on your phone and then
and then asked because its information, you have let you have a crude
you don't like right now: I've been googling, ruby ridge. So what is
ruby ring was I'm through you actually and ruby ridge is its it.
What happens in the media? It is a scam.
of separatists white separatists who moved up to
thanks. I believe that armageddon was coming. This is in the nineties. Ok, I forget his name randy something, and
he moved with his three kids and his wife. They believed me
and was coming there. Relieving the scripture a little too heavily
and formed or not
enough in all honesty, because and then and then he ate
the friend of these white supremacists, who live like sixty miles from him because they didn't have any friends, are in the middle of nowhere, and I think he was racist. I mean I think,
deftly how races believes and then one of the fbi,
agent lured lord men and asked him to cut off
deepening my solo podcast. By the way this will be really capital. Mother, I guess they.
Asked him to solve some shock on. So we solve some shot guns for the fbi. Man,
I tried to arrest him. They wanted to arrest him so that he could they could
to turn on the white supremacist
He wouldn't do that he's like now, and then he went up and I'm not going to court. I'm not fucking adopted
If the government I'm not going,
and so then the fbi hunkered down,
outside Ruby ridge, mile outside ruby ridge, ended up killing his dog.
fog, his son and his wife, oh my god, and shooting him shooting his best friend
and his son. I think his son shot an fbi agent and it
it was, and then it and in the media,
I watch this documentary on I watch two documentaries or what to buy documentary honour on.
the oklahoma bombing, exciting I'd that happened.
I was a kid. I know anything about it, but I just I was like oh yeah I
Can I just never learned anything about it? I didn't realize that was in retribution to ruby ridge and to the seventh day
vanished the David better I'd vanished a dentist adventist, whoever clingy teeth and against a dentist had been tested.
the crash, and so I watch that and then I was obsessed with ruby ridge because right now what they do in the media like they just did this thing with Chris Berman, whether I
his berman's, a racist. He left racist voice, males,
the news ankara. They got fired the black check finished, but waited
but there's one twitter and it's a
one page thing of black people going fuckers burma.
I knew you'd racist fuck him he's dead to me.
Anyone who would use the swami is a thing, falconers berman and then
last post twitter posts is the the black woman
saying by the way this never happened.
If they do it's, if it leads to bleed so they bring people in on something. So the media call him a white supremacist and then, at the very end, found out he's not
Its purpose at all he's a fucking lunatic who believed in the end an end of days, and so we moved up to the
wearing an organ and I'm sure he's racist based on a white, supremacist right and so on.
And by the way I just bought guns. Yesterday's that's that leads into all this. So I watch this ruby ring
think those are any fucking guns, because they
our common after me, man, any
guys got tour dates. Coming up, you don't even know how to load that gun. You're right, I don't buy the balkans
I know not allowed arrogant and know how to love the glock aver baby.
I've? Never, oda, fucking! God, look. I've deftly loaded, a clock, so our your landed on taken some classes. No,
wolden hanging american osborne with his right now
you have the right, but that doesn't mean you have the right, because you don't know what you're doing with the gun, and that is very unsafe com right privilege is called
stupid and thus how people get hurt moat low? You need to go somewhere and have someone teach you have properly LEO. Take care of those who are you
of course, I am I'm not gonna fucking,
by two guns and then wait until the
data guy break setting a real, real, quick. What I will say what is? Is it read?
red means dead or saved blackmail.
So what we have is a safety work. There's a mighty
I told the guys when I bought guns yesterday I was like because it's a ten day waiting period in l, a it was like. I,
come back and indeed like a tutorial, oh good and you,
if you like out, definitely he's, I will give you guns.
We are first gonna, go hey good luck,
ask me what I wanted my guns for yesterday: innocent respect- oh my god
You did not accept a firm hold events, I would not respect and by the way
We didn't want your dad to know that you bought guns calling cow head, and I know too that it on the right hand, closing I was loyal hours. My bodyguard smoke curling counter now is really thou, as you sabotaging yourself. That was you.
telling your without telling your dad I gotta someone else, can tell your dad dad on your dad will now, I'm not certain. I like this personality you have when you're sick.
you're lying honorary. You sense it right also
he's a little bit. I am now I'm not your
it's my. I can't help my voice at that. I can't do anything about sarcoma approach or the twenty third, twenty, twenty three twenty four twenty fifth,
like. I said, though, shows were so. I of us. Are there, but there too,
ro the thursday and there's a couple sunday guilt
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let our loud san Antonio, the sixth spit, sixth and seventh of April, comedy of broadway, twelve thirteen, the fourteenth wise guys
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I am a fundamental liberty. Those will sell out real, quick, so get those on. Then I'm a cluster fest. I dunno. If that's been announced, and I don't get sick, everybody does
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has been doing the workout and none of us have worked out since philly. No, I have not worked out in over a week, but I haven't gained any weight back either and so that to me says well I mean partly because I'm sick, but I kept trying
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We await a cook. Other was great the way we did that
today's biogas, with a guy I've, I've
I am absolutely fascinating there, so many roads in this business to success in this guy's taken, but by the way,
one of them who easily one the most successful roads ever he was the
head writer
They show runner executive proof of the daily show. I could be wrong on that, but he was
John stewart right hand, man, he started the daily show as a video guy. We talk about this on your knees
stand up comedian, also in so he's left at unwitting
It cover everything, because
We were in a rush and I had another podcast coming and we had talked for like an hour and a half, and I was like I was like
You know what maybe I'll just have em back, because I wanted
talk to you about
like to leave a cushy network job,
Were you know, jobs curies there you know you're the number one show on the network to walk.
from it, and go back to stand up and rave very brave, and
the humility that comes along with that, and I know that because I did it through travel.
in those days. Were you leave us?
a job or you get fired from a job and you go when you.
One of the clubs you feel like me, like,
it's untouchable, like I, don't really need this. I got a tv show and then, when you
I don't have a t v. She learned the clubs you like. I really need this right and you forgot. Oh, this is who I am this guy who
needs it, that's who I grew up as it's almost shaping a beard off at sea
your face in amerika and I forgot about that little guy little guy, but
first heard him on rogan and
It's so funny- and I don't know of your pick this up, but I thought it was great.
Rollo talking and arriving droller was dead at the time, but I heard that
it's always like this one. I because they, both
proper long island. They both
that long island, almost like rate of utterance,
and so immediately palma them, because the sunlit one of my favorite comedians and his first part.
they withdraw. Them is amazing. The next one was john
his good and then he
acts of you're going be a do, give time. Nepal,
Gas rang out just get a beer. No, he said
if time, you'll get a beer and that's what I loved you direct tax on like Foxier had, but I was also like. I can use a pug as is weak.
No, I just come over. Podcast news again came upon Cassius
let's do that again, the next
get beers and do it. I was like fuck yeah he's and by the way out
everyone shit on me for how much I interrupt people
everyone shit on me for how much I talk over people. I'd better get my dick sock,
at how good a listener. I am on this podcast, because men
He is fascinating and I did not want to interrupt him and you know me. I was buying my tongue, but but I ve got you know, but because I wanted
The threshold made me yet, but I already, but I was so fascinated- I just left-
go and it was an you're in love.
your global, absolutely love is progress.
Did roby last week, have you heard them their nyerere them here?
ladies and gentlemen rory Albany's
The
We that we kept some stuff like this guy.
Really cool. I dunno, like I know the I
No, that your family is like real men, you said so
one time one of one of them, the coolest sayings one of the cruellest sayings where I was like. Only a guy grub with real men knows, that's called. What's it called when you get like covered,
oh, your family call when you ve got all that. You got a job and you get all the.
during the earlier head to toe benes abandons benefits baby. I got no idea why europe, like my
Emily's italians and Jews there like
real Ellis island group.
so my grandfather's were big part of my life one day.
When I was like eleven and the other died when I was like seventeen, but they were like lived ten minutes away and they were, at my house like every day, we're just old school depression era: bad,
like my italian grandpa, like fought world war, two and pans army could like
fix anything like really yeah like really like, and he was a young grandpa too. He died young, like previous, probably like. I think he was like sixty seven when he died. He was just a breeze like a handsome italian dude who could like, like, if anything like, even something like desi
like do it. When my that's, why I have not yet received this. The one thing that this guy had was he had made. He had me
All the boxes for all is, would working tools
if would yeah, so he had to like real woodworkers. Do it yeah he he had made all the things to hold all the robots, so he made it the way, like I dunno, if you're familiar with this guy casey neistat. Yes, because I don't I'm not,
I know, want to shit on Kc nice acts, I'm certain, there's a big group that does there are certain things I don't like about vloggers
the ebony I'd like there's a pie. I know what you mean because, as a part of it, we you're like you're impulse is
she's a comic as we look. I ate data that thing and then you're like snorri, figured it out that getting you don't act like respect to him. You know, what's great about case you nice, that is when you watch his ought when you look at his office because he
it really has one of those fuckin yeah insane brains where he he rigs everything so that it's the way he wants. It is like a gadget freak. I love that's. Why he's that's? Why he's interesting to watch because he finds weird
things to talk about
We are one that I really know of his. I mean I know a couple of his age, but
The one that I found really fun to watch was the one where he was on arab united,
emirates airline, whatever arab emirates, airline, anything like they're there
As a first class action. We have your own cabin outages and you haven't shower, you know and he's going through it and like do that's pretty
precursor of stolen. So many of his travel hacks
like where he goes I'll always keep a carabiner on you that way when you have
bag closed up there and you got everything in your bag. That's funny! I have in mind. I am I implement those who drink on planes lecter certain things you that are like travel,
axe when you blackout on place. I've lost so many ipads, really salem know where I'd leave them on the plane lands and get up and walk off a plane and you're like oh fuck. I had three bags. You know what's crazy about. That, too, is that my girl
and had a situation where in actually think was ryan hamilton. It was this happened to where he left the laptop on a plane, and there was a woman in queens. There was a flight attendant. The joke was
You can't with the minute you exit a plane, you can,
in fact even like your separate right out the door you like on even if you're like seats right
which has been saying, and
that you say I left my ipad. They say what seat mc mega and they say it's not there. So these flooded,
and one in particular, got arrested in queens was like,
just like a house full of ipad
there, was that you know like black market selling, the stuff but
happened right, hamilton with them ass. He left the laptop on a plane and then she did
and my computer we're the comedy cellar. If I like a peter, and it was like,
in like some shop in queens, like we found like it was. It was like a quick
tomorrow or something in the in queens, so that you don't have to tell me to have those blackboard tables. So I grabbed chocolate. Here's the plan, boys. You know that I was trying to plan a heist to get baggage that guy. I don't want to do that. I was like we take a van around back hamilton goes in and he's so nice. He started talking to him. You know that's what that's what Gary goldman and I climbed through the window yeah but yeah, so that so that it's funny that you're talking about black it out of place because that's it, you leave something on the plane.
You never eat, won't ever get a bad name that we would like. I watched the I watched snipe. This is the moon
four p anyone who drinks alight this the move, as you are at the hotel, the shows at like a and you
if you've been drinking and you get in early and then you wake up at like six thirty and you're like fuck where's, my ipad and you're like shit and then you go on track. My ipad
and I saw mine in the swat in atlanta- went on really knows, like god, damn it and I saw it at a house. Just such an end is before you know, putting a lock on your phone was a very big popular move
Yep isla last year, at my youngest, we were in philly this weekend and she lost her cell phone and I was like god it, and this is like the day I'm
I knew I saw my special on saturday this Saturday afternoon. Okay, I think I was like five o'clock shows at seven bile comes into my room. I lost my phone number
Great, that's how it has been my moments. Ready meant that international prepping problem
my mind around I'm about to deal here. So then she grabbed my phone and face times her phone right. Why she faced time that yeah the bold move?
black are the criminals and black guy go though, like my phone is again,
women, the elevator, see this year egos wherefore yours
thirty. Two openings everybody has brought an observer, has antigay rejoining bugger that gives to the guy ilo issues like
thanks a lot as a but I, but I
happened me out here last year same
at the same time a year and I went out just cause,
you're alone. Allots are just go over to like, like a sushi place within
walked mayor being bnb as west hollywood wouldn't like went to the sea
or a hammered united as it was by myself pledges stricken like saki and talking to the facility chef. You know, and I like it, I laughed and I'll just fuckin bob you now.
And then I took an ober back to her
were saying, as I walked there, but like came out german, because I second over back and I got home and like them
two hours later, a realising in my phone and I grab my I put my eye-
had and like how to set it up, because I don't have to get my foot and I sort of like texting it and there's all these like text a number
try to text my brother, but it's like four in the morning where he is insane
new call myself and then as tabs open- and I look
on five, my phone, and it was in like-
fearless in like I found the address, and google map did not. I far like I was
got stolen. Obviously from like the right, I don't know if I lived in a number of our left in the restaurant. What and I was like men- and I was like the same thing-
maybe I'll drive over there and like you, I get like
and if you know about the idea that exactly and then I'm like, I know,
be two hours later. I get up attacks its I came
and I have your phone. I'm your over driver
and the next morning. The guy brought it over to me too, and he gave back to me and I gave him like forty bout, twenty bucks or whatever it was he's. Like I can't take this, I'm like dude, you have to
take on for the like. I was it's not even like
You don't have to buy new phone, but it's like it's a loose,
your while it like it, is like every so much more air all. I guess it's like its work,
You know it's almost like? If you get modular, can I keep my license? It's just the legwork yeah just like I want to go to the big idea may obviously due to losing
phone is, is one of those moments where you're like like there's a one time
in georgia, my my oldest was probably like thirty months old, just walking my dad said where's georgia. We were at his house in florida, and I said I dunno and he goes is the pool gate up
and I thought that's the same feeling about losing your little worse. She was the only thing you could always buy a kid. You got your kid, you gotta start from scratch. Oh yeah, but it it is. It's it's just it's weird too, because we grew up. I'm guessing we're, like you know, in the ballpark.
the same age, your little younger out by hank, even when you get when you got any new york, I'm demetrius age,
ok, so you let me draw the same age, exactly egg. I am
yeah whatever member within a couple years of each other, but that we grew up
really without cellphones yeah, so the joke of liking,
Lenny, I don't know what it's like tonight. I'm a phone is, but neither do we any more like that
whole concept, like those kids. Don't have attend
spends like, and neither do I like. It's me
Everybody like it's completely, may do so real eg. Even I talk about this. All
new member. Go into a place
it would be a line and you have to stand in line and you didn't it
just stood in light like there's. No, if you were with somebody, just stood there and, like you just stared at the door,
in front of you. You look at the wall like I had this one,
a restaurant
york the other night. My girlfriend and I left my phone at the table and I went to pay, but it was like you know like now, whatever,
not everything, but a lot places like colored bathrooms, there's like one bathroom and others like aligned to pay for an ode right or
as to what it was cold and
standing there waiting waiting and then in my phone, and I could go back to tabling on it, put it in
being a lower rate than I thought, and I just stood there and also
this is so weird like this is what we just did, which is. There is no
nothing to read there is nothing to do. I just stood there and, like I was
man I'm like stand in and I just started
get about it. So much about like how much time people expressing going back before election,
It is a must just sat in the dark you know
how much time like if you could fall asleep, and it was like seventeen eighty four and you are like in your cabin. What do you do?
do you, like you, read the bible by candlelight like what were your options, you know, and it's like I was like you normally can dive into
native insomnia you're, just like, I guess, I'm sure,
sit in the dark, like I can't even we're gonna go play, play station, warlike watch a movie or tweet or read a book, but a visa
pat wherever it is amazing when you think about that like how we ve become so accustomed even on an airplane man like
I'm mad. Now like when directv cuts out. Are you kidding me? I can't watch animal planet, but grandfather was like that generation was like flying into war being shot at. You know unplayed. What was the joke? I tried to write yesterday cause I was like because I stopped
using google in flight. A long time you did. Oh yeah just sounds like it's. A rip off
yeah I buy. If you have an annex guard, you get ten free a year,
it's a rip off at the fortieth we don't have seen dollars on my vote yesterday. I admire was thirty nine coming out here for the whole flight. My was one flight is fourteen hours or maybe I started at mid flight right, but I was like a will.
Thus, in your podcast with this got rogan, this guy was podcast, whose a fucking b
and likewise goggins.
to do and I shall, as noted spinal, I'm actually do in his pack s more but yeah. That's the thing about rogan like he gets like he's,
more of a man than anyone. I've ever met and he'll never admit that like he'll, never like horse armour erekat said you're more of a man than me and jokers. I wouldn't know about that. Dump and I was like yeah no yeah yeah. You definitely need your more I've seen I've seen dom drink white wine in an airport, definitely yeah by the way, I'm dom's more of a man than me, of course, we're not men but from a different. Like cut a steel, you know he really is. He really is he's. He is a he notes. I I was unaware he know just what
how many ears he's in how many years he's in and how many hours he's in those years yep I was at my family like I was in philly this week, I'm whole family's from Philly. So we had,
parliament s house in these three seventeen year old boys are just obsessed with joy
and here and there they come down and I'm the one cousins air, the
who friends, driver or find out on their they drive over, and then they just like what I wrote and like the up- and I was like a guy's, a great guy, but like mine,
relationship with rogan is very different than what they would ever know. Jerome
you know a guy knows very close you're, like your phronsie, I know very different joe than though every meet here witness ever.
and so part of me is like I'm a little protective. I don't want to be, like you know, he's just as fucking broken as all of us we're all
I think I'm like I don't want to ruin that I don't want to ruin the lure lost, like he's a regular fucking guy like he is, but my point is
a lot of regular guys, which I consider myself
regular guy comic who reno doubts himself,
every other men in all the things. Anyone who does this kind of stuff has, but he also does stuff like bow, hunt and kill elks and then like
freeze, alchemy it eat it. He's out, I mean you're like he's got like us, he's he's got
the ability, even just like physically he like works out he's got. You know, he's consistent. He gets up early like he like he's
discipline in a way that is impressive. You know personally in this world, but he can also like you also want not go out
like, I was in denver last year and he was there and am I did it's a. I was doing a showcase at the
at the comedy works comedy works, denver which I'm going back to in a couple weeks, and our place is great, it's amazing, and but then I was there like thursday and an early show friday cause. I was like showcasing my hour for showtime and and then
I had the shows the rest of the weekend, so I like hung out with him and then I I went to watch.
would it be shows and then chapelle came on after rogan went on and did like forty five minutes, like you block in town. So afterwards- and I was with my girlfriend too,
afterwards, I went out with the four of us went out in a couple of hotel chapels friends,
I don't know Dave really at all, and I don't think he was like a mean he was fun to hang out with, but I don't think he was like a huge fan of me. He loved my girlfriend but
I could tell you that, like rogan,
like he's not like I gotta go home like take creating like yours out with us to he likes gitzo or the morning, both it and hang out. You know like, like that's what I mean it's like a lotta dude, you like live
kind of like em may, like lifestyle wake up at five, a m today, like d like they don't put directly, will dream
they don't have all these strict rules he's like no, he still enjoy,
toys himself, I'm an I
How much, but I'm saying he'll still go out late and hang out might not be like I gotta get up and where he was like he can like that's the thing I respect about. Him is like
no allotted due to like live like discipline, life and then
They lose this other fun part of their personality that he hasn't lost his head. He hasn't lost his own part at all. That's why I'm so impressed with him like he's not like his alex
sorry, bro. I gotta wake up from my like five, a and kettle bell class. You know he's like yeah: let's go liquid, he also likes a challenge. So there is a part of rogan that I always think like. If
gonna party than he goes out and I'm just push on with a majority tomorrow. Tomorrow, like love like he got in,
the jogging, because he sacked at it
He was like. Why do I fucking suck at? I know that dude I only do things I have a natural propensity to do and have and then wouldn't the minute. I doubt my natural propensity and, like I think, I'll, quit notice. I don't paint right exactly one hundred percent yeah. That's so that's so true yeah! I have the exact opposite anything like I hate running, so I avoid it as much
I can avoid it. You know it's just
It was a guy who is the guy that was on this goggins? Okay. What what is his story cause? I dunno I'll, listen to embrace the suck like he he's like he. Just as he was overweight. You should I mean, listen to it, listen to it, but it's just. It is
There is in guy who decided he was like three hundred pounds decide.
We want to be a navy seal had a loser
hundred pounds in a month, lobbies that, like eight
theatres and like an eighteen. Nineteen lost lost two hundred pounds and went through maybe she'll camp. Three
times the name, whatever the outcome, but they had a tv.
We call eager but area. I won't do it three times by the way
Swim was for terrified of the water, so he's the
and the brain, and I think Joe connected with him on this attack a bit but he's kind of brain that was afraid of the water. So he spent as much time in the waters.
Good wow, and so it's a really inspiration
by it, but I'm on the plane in it and it cuts out like it ends a guide,
like you didn't download enough, I didn't for the flight ticket, so I was like I was like really into this podcast because I'm running the l a marathon a couple of weeks wow and I'm and that's impressive- have you done it before, but now, okay, but see that's a
ass. The big diversely me erosion is like I go. Oh yeah, I just like you do it
and ngos are no young and working hard out through it, and then I go gabbett knew all the nice I'll do it.
yeah roll. I did a half marathon with no dreaming really and it was how have you been training now, like? I actually have been training for this. I'm running pretty hard, I'm running five.
a day I'm runnin
for the miles fast and run in fort looks like a way to run its we sprint. Jog sprint jog, like citadels, is an image of the thing here. So he likes.
brent fur like us sediment a mile, and then you jog at you what your paces its
to increase your your base pace so that
I want to try to run this marathon, an under five hours right and so in order to do that. I've gotta run roughly like an eleven minute mile, so might
I've been to average and eleven minutes over the twenty six over the twenty six somewhat, when you
sprint a mile. How fast,
I knew I knew an under seven minute mile wide right now, but it's what price of dude he will you
How long did it take you to get to that place? How medieval
always been a runner of, but a run of ours will naturally have naturally athletic like I was. I was play baseball network
did you go play college by large, actual really atley vietnam and my dad was a real, big runner and thrive.
Label run have always been like me in cigarette. Took that he's running classes together, like a berries boot camp.
And so there is not a natural runners treadmill treadmills last- and I just like you
I like it, how did he fair, but he was also smoke.
at the time that he would literally get out of the closet lighting a cigarette yeah, that's not going to work, and so so right now I have my running pretty strong, but
Listen to this guy goin, though
you gotta get over marathon. Is the mindset cause like when you start looking at no in a given done two miles? I have twenty
four miles left that can overwhelm you. It gives you like a panic, and so I'm just needs. I want to get
The place rose like why embrace the sock tomlinson
guy. He does ultra marathons too
just loves assume anyway, the job.
I was trying to get to which, by the way, I'm going to fuck up, because I didn't
right down, because I just I'm done my hours unhomelike brand.
Material is fuck, go go, go in flight,
you have a relationship with it like like
a girl, go in here, we're going out tonight, sick woman with my boyfriend, and you like. Ok, then he's gonna be cool with it like
I'm sorry, I'm sorry! That's what I feel like the old time on Google implant am I going to do.
boyfriend. I get it, but you know what. If I get a little extra on the side, maybe some title baba occasional, occasionally take a little tight little sigh yeah, that's what I'm yeah! Thank goodness it's friday. Do, though, because you can be a little girl from florida here yesterday to meet me. I've been here like. Is this the same one, a blond, hair, yeah, okay, yeah yeah? She, I read, I dunno! Why why I know why
but I read sir,
article, she did about skin care,
she's she's, a hare stylist and
She gets you
like she's, a new york city, like kind of fancy pants here,
I was actually ends up in a lot of those like articles about like hair cares, get you know almost like.
health and beauty kind of, like you, log in magazines peculiarities already and yes, you know she say,
it doesn't use high end face cleaner. She has used a set of fill and I was like oh shit, yeah cause. I have this thing on my cheek that I've had for fucking two year really yeah. I think it's a lot about like that that world of, like ah
was actually just said me the other day, because you know there's a face cream that people, by by, like you know, met teeth.
Every french company and cause like four hundred dollars for like four ounces and she's like and
Have the exact same wanted CBS for seven dollars, just like? What's in the cream, you know like it's, like cattle,
life happy. Starfleet oak is eat. I was
now with her about I enjoy it like. I would have worked and tv for a long time producing in writing, and then I did the daily chauffeur
number of years, and then I like lapped and I I left the daily show I was running it. I was executive producer. I started as a production assistant, but he left as he didn't want to talk to you about that. But my point being I left because I just was like I want to do. Standup fulltime and you can't do stand up and run a tv show.
and like I did a half hour special while I was doing the daily show and it suffered. You know, because I was putting like ten percent of myself into stand up and, like you know, I always you to say I put one hundred and ten so but one hundred per cent in the dealership, but and then I came out here and then I was digging it. I was like right.
Like I'm writing a pilots and, like you know that I had sold or was it was like a part time kind of job and I was on the road to stand up and I was doing it full time and then I got a call to do the nightly show to run it.
like now and then they would know you could be on it. So I went to.
Back and I wanted to be on camera and then that got cancel the cup like about a year and a half ago, and then I just stayed in new york, but so by joking, when my girlfriend is that
Do you know there appeared a time we started dating than I was running. A tv show to like a like air in ancient face. Grieved gets a face
if you do and now adjust to insanity, time like you should find the CBS face correct yeah, but you know like that is like what this business is. A geek, sometimes you're flush the attention, and so why,
is joke around with her now like that she's like developed all these life hacks, it's like doing stand up again, I'm like well, you know you gotta figure it out right now, because maybe you tube channel because, unlike you know, I'm like the next time we're making millions I'm like I'm going to rhode island in two weeks I do know of,
funny. I can't even remember any the clubs, as are all like. We do find that when you're one
doing a lot of shows in a row. It get confused.
you're like was ain't rhode, island, less weaker was I in? Oh, I don't remember. I was last we govern ever right. Like I get, I get so confused because it's like in
It'll be like a month where I'm just in new york, doing stuff or whatever, and then there's like a month or two where I'm like. I got a lot of gigs back to back and I get like
no you're, flying to like what you know of like I have to go on a road island to the comedy connection for
weekend and then, like I come back and then I'm flying alike,
wisconsin to the ah
the casino in wisconsin of rigour, what is called for
now I get you a native american native american up, I'm trying to be clever casino in wisconsin and then a flight from there to the comedy works in denver. You know, and it's like I'm not coming
Are you? Are you going so when you do the road you go straight out, not always because I'm too sometimes it depends like it. I am I
attitude on the road particular cause? I you know
Like a name my hour of I had this hour, I taped over the summer that I was opposed to it.
show time that I have sort of a falling out with.
man and I, like it, civil, it's a long story, but like I'm doing the euro, it downloads, that's the gaza by love your. I know it's one of those things I like almost like a legally can't talk about, but I have
new management now much pleasure
generic la James dixon, whose, like but big the easy john stewart dude in focus
colbert guy now about him and a guy. Like he's, I got I've known him for years, because I worked with John
sorry, along butter
he watched my hour and was like I love it like. Let let me try to get this thing out there. You know it's hard, I did it's. It's a high
wartime time if you're not like you, don't like a forty year old straight white guy, which is like at the moment not like by the way can't complain,
of industry. Why can't we ve had a pretty good run like I actually agree that, like we need more europe
presentation in this industry. I've worked in a long time and I can tell you like that's not a wrong instinct like it's very
it's a very privileged industry because,
You have to have and again I think group,
rich, but, like I had the opportunity to get an internship letterman, because, like by
and from college. His older sister's roommate was an assistant there and I got an end which most people don't even have an opportunity to access a person like that, and I did because I got to go to college and then when I got my interns,
but letterman. I was able to live with my parents on long island for free and like take a train in every day that, like my dad paid for
the monthly ticket- and I I didn't make it
the money for the summer, but I was able to not make a lot of money for the summer cause. I had a place to live for free and like food and my parents for gino, so it was like he
if you have the like backing to do that
you don't get too like getting internship and then that internship lead to another gig through
that same friend. Do you got me in it? They know that her sisters friend and heard they they need a pay at the daily show, and I was able to do so. It was like
Then I got that gig at the end. Look I worked. My ass off do like I came into the daily show and there is all
like ivy league due to wear like writers- and it made me feel like a re james
we re had left when I was there, but at any and rate was like more like
I have a scrappy stand up dude, but the villa tell is that, with these column, l yeah- I don't you know it's funny. I miss he would come in still and do and do the
voice over stuff when I started working there, but I just was
I was in this position of thinking. I was like funny and then realising that nobody cared unlike our
so I too, like I like,
was a PA, and then I was like the tape librarian. Then it took me like eight years of being there and like eating shit and may have any.
Do make me feel like ours. Not, I am energy
do actually do a bit about it. My hour, where I say you know they may be,
you're like I was too dumb and whatever couldn't write down and then so I developed. You know what the italians golovin
that. You don't mean- and I like I like- was I going to stay here until I'm running this, but you know you're, not iced energy being their fourteen years, but part of the reasons I states along was because I was like
I'm going to do this.
when a climb. Everyone on this latter, until I had I did, I ended up in the epa in also run the whole place, but
I was doing that for a couple years and, like you know, get paid,
pretty well and all that stuff, and I had that epiphany
like ban on thirty five years old and on that
When the thing I said with the thing I set out to do this, and am I I'm not doing it so
I'm doing it on the side and of doing here and there are no open up for black. Occasionally I'll go out with oliver before you know, he really
warp and lots of end, but that's not doing
in so doing it is this, which is, I don't know like
in other words an ax again when, like I know- and I dont know, there's gonna pan out the people tat. I was crazy. You live in that job for days and hours. I guess because if I dont at least take a swing at all, I could I couldn't you know it's like you can't sleep at night and you ever was examined them. I am like money does believe me like
building money matters if you're making it, but then, when you're not like oh shit, I guess it mattered more. Like a man, I thought maybe I paid for germany dinners. You know I can have more the back, but it it's it's still. There is in
exhilaration in go after the thing you wanted there and I have sold people like. I did that
we show because I wanted to.
work with Larry, because I thought he was cool and I actually was really into the idea of doing a more working in on a show that was like more diverse,
and if we really want out overweighted Larry nigh both to like really make that like
strictly diverse staff and really bring people in the industry, even if they lacked and experience like. I met a meditated
U s out toward Afghanistan who, like approached me in like a
forward operating base in the middle of nowhere in like kill a guy.
Rob- it's like you know like western afghanistan, will look like
I did one of those but like they like blackhawk you to different bases. It's crazy! You like travel via blackhawk, it's one of those, don't know. If I could do that, you could it's it's like that story. You were just telling about it. You just go yeah, I'm too scared to do it, and and then you get there and you're like not only am I not scared to do it. I wish I could do more, because these guys are so bad ass and they appreciate it so much that you come out there
like. What are you doing here? You know and we're, like you know- and you just like stand on the back of a flatbed, into a stand of trek or do a stand up show
I hang out with them and chill and shooting
and then
and you'll endemic like over like two black.
That will exhibit boys and then they take it at an athlete really cool, but on the other
I know a guy approach me this guy, sergeant, guenter and he's like I'm really want to get into tv. When I get outta here, you know- and I was like he's like I dunno. If I have the skills that I'm like dude,
you're in a war zone you could handle like working at a tv show. You know, I don't think you realize what tv is, so I you know we kind of
pen, pals and when he when I started the nightly show he was available. I hit him up, I hired him, so we were doing a lot of that like lara and I were bringing people in who like either didn't?
experience or just didn't
opportunity and which is why I think what may that show for me a really fun,
experience and I got to be on camera, which was one, but it really
became part of like my belief system in like the tat like so I'd like I said it's weird because now I m a deposition words like that philosophies on his work,
against me, does as I get on applicants like my. We don't need another three. Why did you do a special and I look at the time we get your right up, produce obligated to line up you don't and so on that
eventful about it, but at the same time, like men like
timing on my part. It like that. I got I m really proud of my hour but, like you know, it's it's harder to sell anything, because it's just
time like I'm, not so it's weird
that's what you do. It's like it's hard for me to sell tickets because my ours not out, but according to my hour out figure that you know like it's like that. Some untrue,
figure out that, but it's it's interesting. Is that
comes that the next challenge, which is well what's what's that thing like? What do I need to do
my countenance these after comedy yeah. That's
it's it's it either. This is gonna sound silly, but like
I've been obsessed with this. This theory is because, as a white guy to sell tickets, you know
you need you do need that identifiable thing. That's
stamp, that like yeah, that, like Larry the boon yeah, I was literally just going to say that you're cutting the sleeves of your comedy. I hate to say this, but, like you know, I
my shirt off when I did my
sour showtime was
come from that, and I was like
This is what I've been doing on the road I got.
So I am not going to put in a minute
back myself, that quarter like Tom had already
sort of fascism in me, and
now I was thinking this is a bad idea, but I've never done I've. It does
and with a short on,
in like seven years. That's what I don't know what this is cause. I was just living on the road I was living on the road going like this is what I do in phuket. It's it's it's just thursday.
night, it's not like I'm not preparing for anything. It's just thursday night. No one upon both take my shirt off our view. Drinks do a show.
thank you tonight you know, and so
I did it. I was like oh shit and then I'll just go
for a time, is your walking up. But
I saying you know what's great as that
he's. Like I heard someone say the other day, like oh the guy, with the shirt off when he does stand it and its tat, its continuity over comedy where people can identify you is that the guy
does a thing in its forty two, because the one I when I first started doing so
like early early on and you would like in trying to get in clubs and like a guy like you,
we should hold, I don't know if you, if you were told me, I was never going to make it in the state yeah me too. You know and then I like, I can never go back to mecca. He died. He he ran the comic strip in new york. He died a really horrible way to end and getting past. There was like a thing.
yet the lottery number and holding
looking back at that, though, though, I'm so glad, I never pass their well, but it's interesting because I was by had like this weird thing happened. We wish
in a bright started doing it, and I was one of the things.
Doing on the daily show around like twenty four twenty five, as the footage guy is, I would find louis black because at the time lewd come in every week once a week he was on, the show is before lose was famous yes, but he was just
darn a break in from the daily show in every week. He was there the segment back in black, so my job became
I had to find all these weird stories. For lewis, to be like what the fuck are they doing any ireland, you know what I mean and I'd find these weird. Whenever I would go through the
a p news feeds and with we had these like you have you're, you even have to slow this down for them, because once again, all these kids without phones are never gonna realise that this wasn't just
you're in your instagram p o. Yet you know internet, I'm you had to find stuff you're the internet was in the internet was in a place where video even existed yet, like the speed of the internet. Didn't really support video, so put this in perspective, like we were how many hours a day we use going tape based tape bay, everything was tape based and not only was yes, so we would like literally, we were literally just. We would have liked cnn on in our office there all day, so we heard something we quickly jump in
like recorded, or we just had a tape running and then we'd like mark the time. Those all time coattail based so
even had an online edit room and I worked in an online edit room for years there. An on line at a room is, is, it is a linear, editing system, so it's taped to tape, so
basically you're in this huge room. It's like the size of a television control room and its one editor and an assistant, editor, and europe is big table and others.
Sony music studio on ten.
avenue were
It was amazing, work there because they were to do as they like. The music industry was still had like some footing. You know
and like like they were still like. Tommy Mottola was running sony music. A time when, like so dudes, would go into sony to record their albums. You know as as before, like garage band and the technology being in like your basement, and so I would like
working in sony, music studio and I go take a piss that I had spheres is like a good
the capacity to walk in the bathroom and you like a little billy divided and it would be like seven tyler woman up his pipes against the tiles like while he's at the euro. You don't I'll, be likely inexorably black ski boots,
it puts out dude you any real like we're like green leather. Pants
but the online editing room required so much space. It was like a you know:
I dunno, eight hundred square foot like elevated
after ceiling space and one dude.
was like monitors and each tape, so you would be
make a selection and he'd hit record in it when record the choice, and then you do the next year's, but if you had to go back
You have to start over
I quit, whereas an average is like that, this year's lionesses, all digital nonlinear. It's got linear means, like you recording in order in,
line. So your times have to be perfect because it has to take when you're done. The tape
as the beak twenty one minutes and thirty seconds long now. Twenty one minutes and thirty one seconds, not twenty one minutes and twenty nine seconds like it has to be so all of your timings. You have to go, let's take
that so I used to do this thing called the global edition, which was like a best of the week of the daily show. So I'd go over there and I would I'd have my like five choices of what I thought the best things were
and then I have to go in assemble lemon that he be like what were they come up a minute heavy, a village? I will cut out of that joke here, slide that back like it was. You know it.
Whose challenging only cause the two
knowledge is limited, so I was doing a lot of that stuff and so for louis. We have these
AP newsfeeds come in on a daily basis that they still have a majority daily show coming in that they pay for then, of course, what
we got tebow's tebow's change our life in a big way. A member,
I can remember the year this to devote like when we started using tv and then we then they then this and other tat,
now came out, as I was like moving out
the footage world when it got easier and- and I don't mean like here's the thing about how John stewart operates- why the show was so successful is because,
as the technology increased
and it's actually one of the reasons I think I moved up there but, like you know, we would
of push it and go will look. Now we have the ability to do a be seen diesel, its change, the process in a let's go
like it. No, so there was appeared a time when I first started work in their word, like the writers would think of something and we'd have to search it and find it seems that existed
and like I, you know where I would start sort of having conversation was gonna go, listen. Man like in a week, you give me a couple
the in this room, because I started sort of managing that roomy gimme a couple funny guys like whoa.
bring you stop. That's already interesting,
for the shall be a which will save the writers time of having to like figure out what might exist.
We can bristle would like, and we started like sort of producing a show in a different way, and then
our ability to search for things that this companies come
invented this software, where you could search the clothes captains of any show. So
became John- would come into the morning. Go see
If we have any like report,
again saying the phrase you know,
from my cold dead hands or whatever it is at or or some democrats making. This point, because, like we started, you know you start to notice. Talking points go well. Fox news
It is really driving this one talking what let's hear many times over the last forty eight hours. Fox news is that this phrase like
george bush's in and intrepid present, whatever was and then would search it,
we have twenty eight and then we'd start making those montages, which now has like it
because I really John stewards vision where these like white flash
montages of sort of finding. These, like consists
these are people saying the same thing or people argue in their own points, and he really
is the guy? Who came up with that, and we were doing it about the news all the time and showing a anderson cooper, do stupid, shit or showing hannity do stupid shit
and now they're doing it. That's all I got
and deliver. The news now, like I am ever news channel is like they'll flashpoint, but here's all
tromp said this flash wisely. Those white flash montages is really I attributed.
its work. Is he really put that out there and
twenty years. It was our way of making fun of the news now it's their way of delivering the news
I was going to say that there is that it is in a weird way. You guys kind of showed them.
how to do what they're doing now.
And then you guys we're not everyone was thinks you guys were like a big liberal
thing, but I was found you guys been, will make
sort of whatever is chronically atwood. That's really was the philosophy I think the show became popular during the bush administration and we have
cheney and push, so we had a lot of fodder on those gaia and people work
people were saying as how you're going to do it when bush leaves office. We're like we're just going to do the thing we've been doing, which is making fun of the dudes in chart. It is a true
the power thick like it's really all is and they
believe it man when that election happened, when obama was gonna, get Hilary we started making funny hilary are all
yes and you know as johnson, stand up and you know as a stanhope when you're doing a good joke, and
audiences bothered by it. You'll love it. You love
no, you don't love and if you're like questioning the joke, is
but until but when you know what's good eye and they get upset it's like when a girl gag-
and she's blowing, it does not the noise I'm looking for, but that's what I'm going for, but I'm glad it happened because its
makes me feel good about myself here, but it's so is that, like I would know at that point, I was like a higher
position there so I was like you know, one of the executive producers and I was like going between commercial breaks.
as we take in time. I was then I go into the desk to talk to John about the previous
Then that's what I do know you really like
no john and I are or still pretty close, but may not talk to milan and all that, but I could tell
like that's when I really started to- and I always knew he was like beyond gene
Yes, and I mean that sincerely could, when you're, what
working with somebody like that people, like one of the other reasons,
state. As long as I did this because I was like
work and would like Steve jobs
as is creating out like I'm like, what's next
dude, who is I've, met a lot of you
for man, and I know a lot of stand up and I know a lot of funny people and a lot of comedy writers and like
there's no one. I've ever met. That is the
has a more well rounded base of knowledge in my entire life. Like John stewart,
can argue with a nod
Not only argue but like have an in depth come
imitation economics and about the leg.
It is sixty seven met lineup war about like any cycles,
good its ports and she's like
one of the most well readily he's he's. Not just some people are very small and a certain topic. He seems to be very smart and all topics and if he doesn't know a topic he can like absorb
information at a pace. He would would go in his office sometimes, and he be reading a book of some author that was on that
You had a talk, show you'd be like. Can we just get like one of the girls from gossip girl? You know I mean I don't really want to read this like four hundred per,
its doors, Kerns Goodwin book on like a link in her whenever and I'd, go in
offers any be like in a crack in the binding, and then I go
two hours later he be like.
Three quarters of the way through eddies and then he'd be sure
you know it's not like you had like, but we have researchers and we had a lot of smart people around.
Him supporting him and giving it. My dear said things, but do you know
is the feeling that dude could really just do it on his own. You know, I mean a a you need a support staff, because it's a lotta shows a week, but the guy is brilliant.
He would come in the morning with like this is how we're gonna get. These bastards today
Damsels bases were obama sometimes
This is really you know. There was a bargain.
Years were allotted, it was was bush, but we would ripped it
mc grath for sucking at going after bush like disguised through in this amazing, you guys can't you guys can get footing over John Kerry, can't win after them
for years. That president unit cars, so
well. You know there were moments when I'd go up to the desk when we'd be making fun of hillary, where he and I would be like yeah man that was also peter. How upset they are. You know cause it's like a bunch of twenty one.
you're old liberals who, like you know, come now
from colombia or or will you know the two like
the daily show and john stewart for press
but, as you know, and then he'd be again, here's my hilary sawston rwanda. We do it my way. We were wrong and those like it felt good. You know I felt it was really fun
as an, but we did a piece,
One of my favorite feel pieces of all time was a man to be a zoo car park when they were doing occupy wall street- and it was you know this
a one percent for ninety nine percent and she went down at the park and that it was about
we could do and that protest, and at that point, a a
caste system, had formed within that ninety nine percent. So you had this like, and one percent within zoo, gaudy park of these bourgeois brooklyn heights. Pork, slow
volvo driving liberals or on the top tier of the park and then
a few steps down where the drum circle hippy liberals who, like smelled, unlike edwy, do with red locks, and she did. This incredible feel peace. That was the.
Like sort of exposing that care system we had all these like. This is our lending. Librarian
the thing is here is for sharing and, like you know, since she'd be talked to she's talking to some guy with an eyepatch. Is that oh, that's, cool? Hey? Can I give your ipad to that? Guy in the drums are really no.
Not everything is for sure you don't like it has destroyed the
entire. That's what I
premise of that plays and not to me was and is,
she is a comedian and like that's what I love you know, I really try to do on stages. Like I dont think I don't think, there's such
is being one sided comedian. I think your job is to like the assistant
and just exposed hip
foreseen and untruths and absurdities you know and, like I don't know, I try have really tried my hour. I really tried to hit a notch. I don't you,
talk about politics, my stand by trying to do some silly stuff in there too, but I really
try to have sections of like making fun of
Like christian right, I believe
secondly, given the christian right for trying to straighten out gay men, and then I have a whole section,
complementing, but also teasing transgender people and an end.
It? Had liberals get really upset about it and I might but I've had
transgender people come up to me and hug me maybe like that was great
It's weird thing about the transgender
There's a lot of there's a lot of why muslim, why
held back and forth. Within the l g t, q commute
accused? Not in any more, I don't know the gay community and then try
gender and then I was I was wives. Us was listening to something some today and I was like the whole concept of being born.
this way, but you'll be borne gay or not borne this way, because that is the big divisive think is half of the people say
none of this is a choice have of the gay people say this is a choice and in the other half they no is born this way and the pupils it is a choice. I go with you
tell them your born that way and they can isolate that gene and they can sort of boarding, gay babies and so on.
Do you like in the middle of a gun like, oh, my god and then with the
our the oreo boarding straight babies. Borders.
Many people seem to be seen to be a better, a better groove. That's what I like about you is that I know what I when I heard you, I think maybe both times on
broken or by heard you another time on something, and
gonna sell so silly, but
you and draw grew up around the same areas? And u s sound, allow all really the fresh down my address, I can probably the greatest complementing was ever give me you gotta both on your both the almost identical
minded people very. Very intelligent, very,
liberal, but more cynic, liberal alike.
like you, I'm socially liberal, I'm like you're, like liberal, like me, like almost like almost like, not proletarian. What's the liberty of large areas, yeah, I mean, I think liberated term libertarian has been hijacked now bonica sort of more of it.
A party group of people, but I really
I do think that
like liberals bother me, I can't say as much as the right, but almost as much, because the
and in my biggest issued and again this is a thing I'd. At least
this last hour, I did now I'm trying to work on what you just said, but bunch a new stuff, unlike
they try to and also trying to like quietly
I think your palace,
just so amazing, because music,
since do and- and I and I think, I'd maybe even talk about this with, but I do look at comet.
Like music. I think it's like you. There have an ear for don't another word
you can learn to play the piano, but it ain't
same as wanted to do so before any people who can deliver joked just have
and it is it's a thing, you're saying you lean into something you're good at like I was a really good it might. But I was always funny cells for me. I can make a living on the link if I was really get a baseball were given that show a shot in the people who were flying high school. The became green yeah. I know
and by the way there there's just maybe just up a discipline to that
elected a guy like Dimitri. I love Dimitris in that he is not funny like when we listen he's hilarious, yes, but being around Dimitri yeah. He is not. If he's not he's, not like rivington fun, you know what I mean: he's not giggling. Yeah he's just eat out at a restaurant with him he's like stands up and gets his own silverware because he's there from the diner world, where he grew up, but he's a great guy. I'm I'm wonderful one of my one of my favorite guys he's like he's one of the nicest coolest sweet
is, do you ever met and again smartest sixteen hundred eyes, as eighteen can write with both hands different things simultaneously, with the guys he's vessel
the guy's next level give really is like legitimacy and this from like em, but like practices, I mean what there was appeared, a time where we will you do it
up on the daily joan I was producing it form and we became very close and he
working on notches being amber dexterous than that he could write with both hands and other work
on the signing, my name now with both hands, meaning I'm doing the same move it's so he was working on writing
thing with this hand, that's different than what he was writing with this.
Think like this, so in other words, I'm
I'm signing my name for you. I'm writing my phone number for you like at,
I can't even
it's hard for me even for my brain, even grasped the concept of doing that level.
Think of it and in practice it and then begin to master. I'm deeds he's gifted in
but I know what you mean and an eye, but I do think that and I'm not saying that
he, but he has an ear for com. A definite, in other words, are serious. He has a savant level ear for so keep. My point is you: you can't teach someone timing like he has time and it's like, and I think that's true- with music like
like I'm, not really meet that musically inclined but like in the sense of like I could play,
couple of chords on a guitar or whatever. But when they came to like hey we're doing this at one eight speed and then you know I'd be like whoa slow down but stand up. I always looked at like I
comedies music, so I like, I would always like writing comedy for, like a guy like John Stewart, that's like composing, I'm right now,
four brittany spares. You know like that's like I'm imposing on the not performing the music, but I'm a song reiner, you know and then it's for me stand up is like art will. Let me I always think of
but I'll have a musician. I love it. I don t get enough credit. Is wars yvonne, you know,
credible songwriter, totally bad attitude said one of the most info.
essential things I've ever heard. Anyone say about death, but she was on letterman. He was diagnosed die. He had like terminal.
Answer me when I'm led letterman was issues eve on vanity had upon a bunch.
A letterman's interview. It's great interview to watch and he's like I'm going to die in six months. Dave like
knows he's. Gonna diet is, alas, letterman appearance and data
we are worn like you're gonna die. What's the big takeaway? What's the what
the thing you feel and have learned from the from where you feel any goes dave you gotta, enjoy every sandwich.
That's it the joy every sandwich and other does the most profound, as was profound thought, I've. I've ever heard. Anyone have on death, which is like is the same thing is like you know, don't what the small stuff, what everybody just enjoy every sandwich, and he says it was. I did man, I've lived the great life I've had flown
I enjoyed myself, I haven't, I don't have a lot of regrets about the way I did things and, and it I dunno there's
some pure about that. You know and and like being fearless even at the end, is some cool about it, who knows and at the actual and how he was feeling, but even to be able to say that on television is pretty amazing and
Think about the kazi viands one of those dudes who's, like amazing songwriter in their so many songs. He wrote that you ve heard so many ways, but he also had
his own music and his own albums and his own things, but he was never gave was ever Bob Dylan
you know, you're. Only was our he's, I thought, like you know, you don't hear kids talking about, I'm still learning nobody, but I like that. I like that
career in my head. I'm like it doesn't have to be my stand up might never become he might not not might not most likely aren't going to be bill. Burr Dave, chappelle or one of these dudes.
You notice are but bright, but another burs, not by analysing burst, sees himself as Bilbil
know we see bill, we still wouldn't say bill goes oh you're, putting too much thought into. Of course he does because he's his because he's like one of the most modest, humble dudes there are, but he can do stuff
on stage that most people can't deal Which-
He can take you down a road up a topic. Were everyone backs away?
and that was one of my favorite hours. You people are all the same when he's on stage and he starts talking about hating women and there's like three thousand people in the room,
I think it was they keep saying you know, don't hit women, don't hit women right, of course, when he says then he says they don't deserve to get hit and he's like no wait a bit.
And then he put in every area, I feel you pull away any like steps towards them at something. I always think about on sagey bring up a hot topic, your impulses and she can.
evans shit in the toilet in its places upon your, but he doesn't like leads into it, because let me finish, I feel you pull away and he makes a case, and the case is that you should ever had a woman, but this concept that people don't deserve to get hit and then he goes through
stories about things. Women have done to him and his. I don't tell me,
person to deserve to get, would never hit her end its yes, I am
butchering it. I'm not like doing doing the exact routine, but it's like to be able to do and to think about.
when you tried and that's him doing it in his hour after he's like mastered it think about the times.
the diverse time. You will be the first time he said that out loud, like people
walking out of the room, but booing him like that's, not even
I've seen you ve seen just doing stand for many years as have done how many times have been in a club and like Chapelle pops intercourse rock popped into these guys pop in and
May I come in, I go down, watchman can't wait to seem, kill, they don't always kill you.
that's easy or try new material. There there's some brave about them in a way. That's like what out why I think they're the next level guys like take. They push it in a way that is hard to do.
There's plenty of times a month age MIKE. I really want to work on that new joke and then I'm on stage, unlike just kill for the wood to fit
ten minutes. I know right now and like have a good said, there's a lot of times when you grow up on stage and you go to like
did it the other night, and I and I regret it- I regretted it, but I woke up the next morning
I'm glad I did it. I this story that
closing my special with- and I was like, I am
I was like it's killing on the road, but I gotta find theirs
it's not there's not there, yet
and I knew it. I knew it integrity there was. There was something missing still meat on the bone. I guess and then- and I took it to the store I was like I'll- do two
shows both shows are followed by delete
just a bunch of murderers and- and I did it and
Man I'll tell you what that will really shine a light on where you're fuckin weak spots are, and that I I was depressed.
But as I do from a comic, this is what you do. You you'd
fail the game you're never going to get better. If you don't fail, it's all. So much of it is finn woke up the next morning and I was like okay. What did I learn? I was depressed. I was depressed. I was like that's my color
I'm filming it at this weekend? What'll. I learn and I was like I for me at the next weekend.
That's. Why had what more we can on the road- and I was like I want- I learned- was that there was a
lot of times where I was talking in there were listening and theirs
much of that, where they weren't laughing, where with my fans, they'll give me that stretch, but if I'm, if I'm, if you're watching my show for the first time,
You might go. This guy talks a lot and indulge joke, so I went all right. Let's go
would take out all that fuckin fat and just say what needs to be said, and I did it and it was it helped me,
now there are certainly people who look at it and go get it
you didn't do well, they began over. That's part of what this is. I mean.
That's it, then those blacks. It's me early on in the air was saying that earlier like when I started I got lucky like I was poland footage for loo and he was still do in clubs
the time and he liked decided just because he liked me and he knew I was trying to get started and stand up just to take me just to take me on the road with a man. I was by no means ready, like you took me into the stress factory.
I would like to know, which is like a really rough club in new jersey compared to the to the road house even worse ways. He worked. You know that for your mozilla chicken way around the fancy, don't think it's a working class jersey, room, it's jersey yet, and I know that france reeled honours its fight, ain't, pretty jersey. It's like real J, though these are the kind of town you want to kill and by the way that to me so the audit temperance between and what I
and I truly believe this- and I did this- is
about fame. Does it just about stand up?
there's a lot of this, like all comedy scene, which is fun it's funny.
These guys are really funny, but if you don't
Get out of that was rooms if you're, just in that light,
hipster room and that hipster environment you're killing killing killing, but you know
or go to like a club like a club like in philly or in jersey or minute missouri or wherever
like you, aim the real place, that's pull them due to don't know.
anything about comedy who are guys,
as I worked a construction job all day like I'm, going to go, have a beer and laugh at some aid so that, if the? If
never done those rooms. I don't care if you're a fucking sitcoms,
movie star who was a stanhope. If you haven't like really gonna hit and dick
I had to fight your way through a heckling. I've had guys come up,
We have to show a guy dunno why they got mad at me for yelling at you a whole point of a comedy club.
it's I yelled something that you, you you're something funny your back. That's poor! Not really the point. It's more that I write things to entertain, but you know there's something about working in clubs, comedy clubs to people it's not like. They don't act like
do when a theatre during dinner, their talk in their yelena. You view they keep their it's hard,
I yell something out on the taking of
first show and fairly sure and you're, like a taping escaped and failing that it on you. Yet there is. There is something to be said for now that
the opposite can be said for guys like myself.
who, when I was younger, spent weight was time in those clubs sure and then you go. Oh, I haven't been to allay, I haven't, were
I haven't, tried and you'll see a lot of road guys where you're like they come to l, a and they're like what's up with the devil rays, pitching
alpha and you're like hon, who the fuck talks about tough man? It's that's one of the reasons I'm out here and I'm trying to I've just sort of made a pact with myself that, even if I don't need to be out here
he's gonna start common every couple weeks or so to hang for the weak, because there's deeds
Do that, like I I don't I don't know
as I'm likely not hang out at the comedy cellar on all the new york comics, and I hang out with you know: stanhope new york or new york, comedy club or any of the good clubs new york, and I know that it's fun actually, some of the
If there's a rotation of younger guys, I don't know what I'm getting into them, which is fun when I talk to them and it's fun. Sometimes it's fun to be like the old guy in the room me like here's. What I think can they like, but but bill burr was the one I saw bill the other night. I went to the comedy store just to hang out. I did a gig at the ice house and then I went by there and- and I I was talking to bill- and I said
she was the guy who told me and I've known bill for a long time, but were not close by any means or even stolen contact, but I'm run into a mere in there, and I told my going
and this was out like a loon allowance, which was like a hipster room in the in the back in the day and still is
he's villages, no, no! No! No! They ousting enough. I was thinking
about
one. In l a that yeah not. I know the one year to largo largo, I'm luna lounge was in. I remember I remember, was like a gf singer used to be- and I was talking to-
bill at the bar- and I knew then like because I I
I a flyer recently of it was like new faces and it was like cop at caroline's. It was like me and bill him like a funny that they thought we were both new faces because not only is older than me, but he's a
I mean he was already like a dynamo.
You know I was already go and he didn't
like he'd ever started by our
Please, when I knew in fifteen years,
now he was ready. Hidden people are, but he said to me: you gotta go to every kind of room. You gotta go to place.
is where you know you're, gonna, but whether alike.
All black room or to it's like a biker bar or it's a hipster, whatever, whatever
place, you don't think you'll be welcomed. Go because that's how you get good and I love gonna hits rooms.
Cause hipsters, don't particularly like me, and I deliberately work material there that isn't gonna, please them
like? I'm not gonna go well. What will work in the room when you're, what
What part of my act will upset
people and how much of them hating me can I take an l. I find to be intimidated
in a lot of ways as a stand up one one of the things that
It's a lot of times your when you're in stages, there's other comics watching.
Oh yeah, okay, so there's a big thing in comedy, which I have and I dunno. If everyone has it, but that's why I say guys like chris rock or chappelle or any of those guys are louis when they would come into clubs.
like I already know their funny survive.
Watching them bomb and by
I mean, try material and not necessarily murder the hallway through. I never like. I wonder if that guy's really funny yeah but people,
Oh me, so of I'm doing a gig and you're in the room, and you haven't really seen me do stand up unlike why I want to kill someone.
that's my best fifteen. That leg is going to make these guys. Think I suck is. I don't know all these guys in like
You don't even in new york, is not like every time you're on stages, other comments in the room, but the knights that they are and I've had chosen
another village underground, which is the other comedy seller. Room, which is the bigger room, has a table so the king
mix, table neville agenda and is in the room.
so you're sitting in the room, which was village on the roads that on its its on west third, it's below the fat, black pussycat to canada, the bigger one like lower ceilings, yellow, and it's where we met at what it was like: a rich voss, his birthday or whatever, yeah, and And- and
that room has the comics table in the room. So
on stage and like the next four
dudes are watching you depending on how early or not they get. I wish they would outlaw that I've had times where I came off stage one night, and this was like the week before I went to denver
the sheer to to to showcase my hour for showtime and I was like- and I came
stage and though he was in the room, they watched me and right
Hamilton was areas like do. Lui lathyrus, laugh heat and then lily came up to me.
I shook my hand and was like dude that was great and he like went through a couple. My bit, I was like holy shit
like and then, of course, everyone told me of louis seize you and likes you like there's a chance. He has you to open form. So for the night
like we guys like had my foot dragging deeper knowledge is I am I am I get this
not he ever and then and then, like maybe two weeks later, exact same scenario, he's I come up
agencies in the same seat, and I did a sudden
mainly the same fifteen or whatever
Maybe a couple new jobs and I came up saying he was sitting there and it was like
I was compared ground hugs. They were out when he's trying to
I have that same special night where they're making snow angels, and he can't replicate these tracks. It was like, oh my god, like I always try to do that like I was like what's up louis, like shake my hand again like wasn't that funny like, and he was like, couldn't have
like, could it have been less than she set a target for the second time you don't like it, but it's
intimidating, and it's not by the way. It's not just famous guys who care about the new to any comic. You just want other comics to like you and respect you, and not necessarily like you, because you want to please the crowd, but
I just want them to let go yeah that guy's got chops. You know when that guy can do it or like. I liked that guy is funny, and it's tough
men, I've seen other comics I've been in the room and other comics work. I know we're good
like and have a rough sat. You could tell nick is bothers them, cause
I don't know I had to set written in, and you said men bombing is like it's just part of it
it's just one part of it and like that's what happened when I went out with louis like he took me, the stress factory I was like, but
Five years old, I was wearing like in a way.
Hollered short out of a visa ex sweater. You know- and I was like you guys ever- take the aid trained at night.
And they were like shock my
You know it's just like. I did like seven minutes of pasty mouth bombing
and I remember going this. Is it Lewis is never going to take me out again I fail, then I go in the green room and he's back there laughing his ass off he's a guy and I'm like what what what what what happened and he's like
and I'm like. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Are you kidding me like. I brought you here to bomb he's like you thought you were going to do well, like a project like a area DA vinci. Sets you up to buy exactly and like then we all went out to dinner, vinnie brand, who owns it and he was like yeah you suck bro, they were laughing and then I had to do with the second joe, and that's that
moment, eureka and then louis on the way home I was like mortified, you know
and those on the way home said. Ah, what do you say
I want to do it. I go yeah. I want to do it more than I ever have now, because that goes well, then you're fucked, eg you're in for life, because and he'd say because
all this really is santa is bombing. It's just your boss,
farming and then you're just the addict. It's in. I don't play golf, but I have played golf. In other words, I've hit golf balls before and you know just it's like you know, as a white guy you're supposed to try it and
I did a decent only could compared to its like you got you go to them
driving range one day. You just hit a ball clean and it goes straight. Nego com addicted, and then you can,
ever. Do it again and then you just shot an all time. You just like a little bit of a fight should like nobody knows how to straighten it, and then he started the readjust things you know you like
I keep this arm straight and bend my knee and then one new problem occurs and then a new problem, and that's really what it is. It's like you're trying to get your you like, but I hit it perfect.
at one time. Why am eggs
placing an hour, and then you re a job
thing and then you're listening to yourself and you're trying to get better- and I spent I'd just talk to dmitri about this, because we had a very different beginners fullest.
the words, Dimitri, just wrote, really good jokes and never cared about his state persona and his like comfort on
eight or its ability to talk to people who, just like I'm gonna, go up there and read my jokes or say my jokes:
and I had a very different thing. We're out like. I wasn't really worried about materially in the beginning, because my philosophy was like no one really
here, is like a twenty five year old has the same anyway,
it was like I'm not going to have some impact, I'm not going to be like yeah. Let me tell you how it is people like suck it give me. Have you been an adult for like three months? You know
so my philosophy was just become work on getting comfortable and stay.
Work on being me on stage, because I knew violence with my friends. I was funny so I could be as close to that guy on stage
but it takes a long time. So takes a lot, a stage that and it doesn't matter how how come.
you are would before you go and say that you cannot say sometimes is pursuing the beginning and you're just like
you don't realize how many things happen when you jump on state. You start here
in things louder than you did. You know like
like I remember when I first started doing stand about here. Someone drop a fork
I bet I hold only a fox and then the elect when you're in a restaurant. You don't hear somebody, no one answered the right, so it's like, then you have to learn of don't ignore that the oda light is pretty like.
You have to learn this whole new existence.
On this in this weird environment, where everyone's looking at you and it takes for me, it took you,
to really feel like, and now I
you like when I get on stage most of the time, even when I bomb
I can off and go well. I was me the times I bothers me when I bomb or the times I make stupid mistake like the tunnel.
one stage and are working on shit and I'm pushy
myself and it's not a good set,
I call on you to allow is like exhilarating, like I
like I didn't matter, they didn't like it, because I learned this I'm on that, but the times a month age doing
material than I know works, but I'm half asking it
cause, I'm like this old chest,
and I'm they don't know what's but acting like you know what I was saying.
Mick Jagger he's been seeing and satisfaction for like sixty years, but every time he does it he's like yeah. I love this tune. You probably want to put a gun in his mouth, but he performs it. That's called being a good performer, so those nights when I like
fail, because I like
pulled up shorter writing commit to the bed or I, though
the days when I wake up the next day depressed and I'm pissed at myself, because it's like a rookie move. Oh I've. I've had made a maid rookie mistakes this weekend,
I like I like where you go. What why my fucking flooding up words like what the fuck am? I
Why my paying attention to people saying why I'm a pimp alec
yeah the I. I definitely know what I mean, though it's like no you're not, and I I I can only imagine that's on the mic cord. What you have walked forward steps into my core. The mark are like a dirty, so fuck yeah. I had those I've had those a lot. I you know what the
The longer I've been in stand up the more acute I
to them, I think then,
when I was younger, I didn't even pay attention. I didn't even know that was possible. I was just needed if I get a little bit of a laugh, I was like that's all the fuckin matters here, but also the thing use talked
at which I know you said you cut the fat off that bit but, like that's another thing, is getting comfortable with
silence and realising that, like you can in,
late the balloon of the room. Sometimes like look at chapels last special or to where he was like. I mean there were
moments in one of em, where he just talking talk,
and he's talking. It he's talking and he's talking and then he just hit is warned. You know louisbourg, it's like the louis. If, if you watch him live he's really really good at setting ethics, putting out like a flash
in the ground and then like building a little town around the flag and they just go in and it's like
you know, but sometimes like pan. I haven't laughed and like six minutes, you now with a new bela, but I
picked up. That becomes, like I said, musicians like why I look at those guys and it's cool.
There are changing their sound like not every bob dylan out.
Sounds the same and it sure, as hell
not every dave, chapelle special sounds the same, possibly go, whereas all yours alone, nowhere is the one that I noticed that did at first rose like us like this
different than the last where go while you can remain indifferent. He's planet challenge to himself and I
that I love you. It's really cool my my goal to see this on. This special was to write jokes,
what else could write meeting not
nothing like like. But just come up
come up with my own form, a jazz like I don't care, I don't care
to be in a rat race with like, I feel like I feel
a lot of guys were trying to write like bill or write like you know like
take a social issue and then pick it up.
From the other opposite side and or like or
some people lay allowed you're trying to emulate
Sebastian. Does you know bring back these ike cool concept,
like that's that's what they're doing those like was an item,
create my own thing. I wanted to do my own thing and I think I found that a little bit
I didn't want it at all my first special by little bit and then
a little bit more on the second special and then
like. I think I can like uptown.
Having joke stolen from me. So, like I'm, can ride jokes that
or so me yeah, and all that
my and then now heart, like the thing, that's really hard about that, because I can tell you that like it takes-
time to figure out who you are another.
Words as a comic here and if so, what sort of thy feeling of like like for me.
My voice, I am just starting to really understand the stuff, I'm good at talking about versus the stuff that
feels like. I don't really want to talk about that in some of it is me strung to separate all the years I spent at the daily show that we're gonna be tough writing at a certain way and now,
I am doing a lot and it's not political, but I do do a lot of social stuff right, but that's where my interests lie. Yeah, that's good at writing that stuff. So then it sort of become like whoa, how what's my take on it and how am I going to attack it, but one of the things after recording this,
as our which, like I said, I hope at some point, and if I have the release of myself, I will it'll get out there, but is that what you're talking about, which is? Why
am I going to do differently now, like I'm trying
made myself be sillier and I'm trying to go like
get into some silly topics. Get it in on trying to work on is like like like
make 'em up scenarios? You know, like I've, been doing a bit about how, like I'm going to start doing citizen's arrests. You know cause. I like it's a good way to like help society, and I just go through the scenario of my citizens- arrest like what the hell would go down in fear. You know I like a guy mugs me and my gal goo sorry bro. I got
News is, as you know, dr argon, and then that and then I like growth,
like I, don't really have a car in new york, so I gotta take him downtown in an uber. Uber pulls up and it's sort of like now.
stocks telling this hypothetical silly story which
haven't really done on so from trying to like push it a different direction, and you can still be talking about whenever you want to talk about, or whatever interests interest you. But then it's like.
you're saying I create your own jazz. That's what I really does things
act word I used for chapels last two specials does is like
I watched them and, as I know this dude play in june.
as you know, and it's like it's it's he's doing like you know that
so he starts. He goes, I'm so good at writing, jokes and when its are doing it backwards. One of my favorite jokes- I remember, if I ever heard and like I know a lot of comics or have talked to a lot of comments, will go. I hated those battles, I'm like
I don't know man to me that was like this dude we just
like armitage's reinvent the wheel, khazar master this craft and,
I don't know it's like sometimes canio put out an album like I hate this and then like a year later, I'm like this is the best song ever heard because he was like a year ahead. Beastie boys always did that for me, I don't get it and then I'm like well we're all boutiques. Could I not have metric subject because they were like a year of hat or years ahead of what was your brain, whereas that that's how I felt about those who specials, which was like oh man like
it? Almost it inspired me and then also almost made me want to quit because
a party this one so inspired and then the parties like, could you ever
Could you ever even play in that a rain? I no longer you can, because you know why this is why this is what inspired me about it was they were his voice like the he wrote them like
yeah. He wrote them like. I knew he wrote them. I could say I could see
His writing. I can see the way he right, you're right, and so I got excited so one thing
that I loved about bob Dylan.
That. You knew that he wrote the material prince. You know,
he wrote the arterial as weird off. Even the beast. You boys, as
Weird offs that would go, you could see, could agree more. You could see the ground the framework
where it came from, I mean I'm a huge bob, Dylan fan and one of my favorite things about him. Is that like
Almost every album sounds different than the album before
not always in a successful way. In other words, some of them are bad, although
he certain albums that are just bad is yes,
blobs, where he was a contract, would like Warner brothers. You wanted to get out of it, but he had to give them to more album. So we just put out like
shitty weird albums that closed the contract is in the book about em, and am I actually don't hate those islands but they're like
he wasn't trying his heart when he stopped.
rights and we are different to any. I like that, I like, when you know you, can you can you can get the hint of
artists inside the thing, although it changes and that some of the belittles or like that will goes one of my favorite lands? Great and- and I go to
really well go and I go
not totally my taste and then you they are or what was it uncle to blows? Whatever the fuckin first band,
It was
That's only mine early, we'll go! I like late, we'll go. Ok, I and you
him build the that or grow, and that's what
like about Chapelle and that's what I like about birth is that I go to
and that's the thing I know you're not coming they'll say this also to cross the board. I am not a fan
I'll, never become a fan of a comic who doesn't right as a material, a comical.
Hired writers, yeah and I'm not talking about like the daily show. It's a tv show I'm talking about guys who I know guys like that who perform their hours. I know guys like that now and I see them. You know they'll come into a club and they got like three dudes with them with like no pads and I'm like. What are you just having a punchy up like then? What are you doing?
Why are you doing karaoke oki, basically doing karaoke ogier you're, saying goes on
a great, vocal peace.
I'm gonna buy radio. It's funny. I thought about that. One point that it would be fun in
in a set or in an hour to do a cover song
yeah it'd, be like this next one's from George carlin jamun in new york. Ninety ninety- and they just do a verb- you know obviously you're, not stealing it you're, saying hey music,
since see a musician, live and obey like like here, know that he my
urgent that and that an end, then
then I was the kind of joke you in myself about how I can.
We like you, I'm a cover, comic, I do hauberk, but but the idea, I totally agree with you because the to me the whole sensation in the thing and that's a look, I add comics
Let me give me a tag. I love that totally fine solely on the got I for more norman attack from
in torres and attack from my
I, oddly enough on this last,
special. They each gave me a tag. I used each of their tags absolutely killed. Larry Wilmore gave me a great tag where one was more like it's like one, not even just a tag. It's like it's like.
Completion of a thought that I like Canada have, and they gave it to me, which was great.
talking about em. Don't they
sorting out neo nazis and you know I did this bit about like, like he catches put like neo, you
bridges but like up by modifying word in front of an evil word and attend like it's, not like, no one on or not when you grandpas nazis, no neo, nazis, deaf and- and I was trying to think of another example of that
Larry gave me like you can't just put a modifying word, impediment evil. Word like you can't be like well.
A casual child molesters. You don't and it's a casual job lazarus like a great raising its
it's a great it's a great tag. It sort of just completes the thought which is like you just very bright, like you
it's like when they changed philip morris to AL tree idyllic, now a different. It's like we re just tell Algeria yeah. It's like its raises some cigarettes economy like neonazis like now hoping to put an end like so, but
love that you know look, look. Sometimes people give it to you and you don't use just in spain. I all of you know just as myth he's
killer, characters, I've gotten to know when new york's really funny, guy really funny joke writer, and he was watching me. Do
bunch a new stuff a couple weeks ago up in a sour toga, and he gave me a great task, which is em. I've been doing this bit about guns.
you know, and talking about what was I just about guns issues more about like one of the biggest
problems were not acknowledging and the country is, is micro, penises,
these there, so many people out there with microfinance is in their over compensating in all these different ways, and I think this is a real yeah. I say I go. You know we ve done what the ep the f b. I should have a watch list from echo painters that muslims out mexicans note the you're twenty one
go to the doktor, the measure deck and if it's blue,
I have an ancient, they put journalist there and then and then you go to buy a gun. You go I'll. Take the er fifteen in the guide circles, I can't say that
sorry. I can say your truck knew when I got it. I know just engage in so then just and gave me the a great tat which is the bullets can't be bigger than you do,
you don't, and that is the clear whether the current year and now and then I go like no there's a couple baby guns in the bagging bob. You can't buying unworthy to bigger than you dick as we can trust you and bullets are regularly dick it like
Was it funny? I had a lot of laughs read the bit, I mean I'm doing an abbreviated version. I had a lot of laughter at the bit but that that close,
is the deal like a great deal closer and it's like the stand out joke. So I'm never afraid to take
the tag or, from another comic, take a joke. I know many of the comic goes yeah. I've got a premise for you. I'd go, never know, I'm sorry, but if you're doing a bit and there's like a way to close it or a way to just put a little bow on it, he absolutely has yeah I'll I'll totally always take our.
italian taken a direction I don't like, like. I don't like younger comics, giving
me like, and I am even though mark insane or both younger than me. I wouldn't like, like when you're on the road with a guy like you as you do that
it was a mug, even if even if you have a good idea, probably solicited unsolicited, is where I it to me it's as long as that comics like hey. Can I give you a tag or
open to that, but I dont like when people come up to me and in look if it's not like, I was, I was out with nets. Go the other night. I watched him, do a set of some new stew
If any came off stage another do you can take that without he's? Oh shit, thank you, but I know
a long time we're like peers? You know. So it's not like he's my body. I watch into a set of its veto for
with somebody I don't know, even if age isn't even affair
or like I'd. Never, I would always say: can I give you a tag?
no look. I saw pete homes, no reply
nappy. Pete read from pete from as an l tells his name Ricky Velez buddy. I can't believe I can't think of his name he's hysterical,
He just did it. He did calmly central hour he's on ass, an alleys young he's, u known, no hope.
David davidson, I keep one as a pete dominick the whole time. You're doing that, I'm going, I don't know any penis, yeah peep, yeah, p davidson. Yes, really funny, dude, really nice guy, just everything about the guy like, but he came off stage when I do new stuff and I was like hey, can I give you a tag on that? He was like sure, and I threw it at him, but
would never. I was like if you want cause. I was like I know, you're looking at the you're building a new hour. So if you want to take the picture- and I there-
took it or not. I know rather people palmiest I'd go I this
What I'd like by the way, I says
All colleagues, I would like you
homicide go you're better than a bit.
we have you seen you work out some weeks, I that is my bet, it's my fault across
The board, as I will laziness, is my I couldn't agreement. I work super hard on crafting an hour. I really do work really hard, but sometime
I am so close to the forest. I can't see the trees and I'll be working on it.
Happy premise:
really hard and I just won't know attack. I don't know that a lot of you will die
lenny to rogan call call me one day and ago. That bet you do.
Just give you a heads up, sealed up people do it, and I was like thank you yeah.
Thank you because I would much rather never say it and that's reason I walked people's hours ago.
Ok, so that's the roared we're all using for when some, alas, all right
get that out of my ass cause, that's in my eye and I struggle sometimes watching a lot of other people's hours, especially in my current state of trying to get mine out there cause he get like you're. Like oh Jesus. Oh, I know yeah it's authority to lelia it's hard to like sometimes balance the two and it's uneven isn't jealousy as much as it's just sort of like just makes you go like man. I really won't mind out so much more, but I agree with the
and I also think it's good to know that, like there's, no real, like there's some,
people who are just like the comedy police, like they just pay attention more than I do, and I dont people just are just there around it more and they can it's like it's like chefs. You can pull out flavors,
but mommy is really good at that. He was always really good at like going cause. That's a bit like cause. He isn't like. He is like his entire life to demeter is like ones and zeros he's like sees the matrix, but I do think
Sometimes it's impossible
comedy has been around for a long time and like it's impossible, if you're on
stage and you're talking about like I would I used a tag
a joke along the way like I would make fun of like Jesus and like christians, a lot not a lot, but I had like a bit. I was doing
and it always do italian, but it's not just christians everyone's. You know everyone or all religions are insane like you know, Jews. You know like they thought
like. A good idea in judaism was like you know like for I I haven't done it in a long time, because I discovered it was a.
very similar to a bill. More
from my nineteen eighty and hours ago. I guess I can't do that anymore, but it all
having as I was watching a bill, more documentary you are like, maybe was religious and eight. They played the clip,
being other, I can eggs. I can't do that in what is the exact same joke,
it was about how like
judy like yours, I'm as of duties and when they were creating when
we're. Creating the religion, duties and was obviously like for man has been control or religion sit in like a third caught in the desert
and they were like. Ok, what's going to make this religion, special and and and one of the dude was like what if we could see at the tipps of baby penises,
off. You know an end, instead of them being like Mordechai get the fuck out of here, you freak who bears a baby dicks in a meeting. There will that's a good
Do you like that's a good idea to Jews and they were doing
It is time that there was no antiseptic snow anesthesia around the edges are going to be used in a sharp rock
He has a bit about how and I remember the specific work
but there's something about how you know or like jews,
it's it's not even a voluntary thing, whatever it was, but it was like enough of a circumcision bit that was like yeah and look. Obviously, circumcision and religious jokes have been around a long time and so that that's going to happen, but
if it's in three, sometimes even if it's in the ball park, I just I don't want to
do you know that a link on really working on is like is really true,
like you said, is really trying to like push myself a little bit more to go like what is.
What's a way I can deliver this stuff. That isn't and again like you said there are certain guys on some of the times, I'm on stage and I hear me doing their voice, but I'm not doing their voice because
ripping them off I'm doing their voice because my voice may but, like you said geraldo like there's some dudes like a and I are from the same town like we grow
the same old down as Amy humour to by a I I'm going to tell
long time and he's one of those used by watch too much and I'm on stage. I'm like what do you do when rebecca and I'm like? That's not my vote, but but it's it's, but that there's a part of me that
feeling that some of that just influence. In other words,
as a dancer like ask a position if they haven't stolen a lick from Eric laughed and ask if you don't like, in other words, some of that I think has to be forgiven, as
I don't know. I love george Carlin. I watch allotted lot. I love billboard, there's a certain kind of comic I like so
Those guys have inspired me and give me a drive so not trying to
we like them as much as it's hard for me, sometimes not too, like find a cadence that, maybe is my
cadence, but maybe the reason drawn to those guys is because its naturally feel of national. To me you know so I'm try, I'm. I do try to separate the two between ripping someone off and also like going.
well. I don't know like like their sister
thing, George Carl, and as I boy a kind of always done how we like you, know like he like,
it's happened sometimes when I once they don't want you deliberately, but out like I'll, say something like a like. He has raised that whole bit where he, in my opinion, has returned
hired plain jokes, I think
we found a way to do him again, but where he thought
about, but the plane crashes anyway abuse through it's one of the. I think it's the best our ever done its german in york. It's from the nineties.
it still relevant installed. Uppity goes to every stage of a flight every state from like,
Although language mishaps, you know these is ok
well everyone get on the plane. He goes on the plane, I'm getting in the plane that evil knievel get on the plane. You know and- and he just but some of it's like silly and hacking, and some of it's perfection perfectly written
you can use your seat as of the bicycle. Just
I have always wanted to be floating around the north atlantic on a pillow full of beer farts that he does and he does it, he acts it out perfect stuff.
but he has a line in there and there are certain way he does his voice. Sometimes it gets on my head, which is he talks about when they tell yet
at the emergency exits, and he said: please allow women into whatever it is or not. We have you're sitting by the exit row, helping other people have the plate and he was helping other bees like his, and this is what I figured
my route. You know any goes he's like his step on the children, not open.
war widow and he's talking about how he's gonna get out of the plate and then he goes and it goes get out of the plane run to a farm. You know
When you buy farm. Have a doctor pepper then call the authorities, but he s have a doctor, pepper and sometimes what I'm doing
like a run like down and the thing out o added tag in its could just be off the cuff, but it also like have a doctor. Appropriate abiola like a little more sushi- and we would like
Did she came out that guy's? But you know what it's like order that I use like we're like war widow like yeah, tell those that were he comes up like it's almost like,
here, is something brilliant in someone said something off beneke at that moment, and he goes
would fit in well. I got
I got time tourism?
frontier medicine dominated shoelaces, MR coffee,
at the end of an canada whenever but like I'm in my wife and I say frontier medicine all the time and that's what I say again: it's like music, like you, can impersonate at and that's where I think anyone would want to get with it. Words like you can impersonate jerry seinfeld without doing words
wait like if I was like do a jerry, seinfeld yeah just like that, then I can it's like it's like. There's it's musical and then like Chris rock. This is Chris rock. You could do about it, except for that last whatever but yeah. I didn't watch the last one yet, but but again like any like, like top tier
do you really have a voice? You can almost,
do them with.
Saying the words it's like instrumental. You can almost play them instrumental in because they have and it's like which cry like what you're talking about right. It's like you
your side of the violent but you're trying to tell us, how do you know it's like an end? It's I don't know, and in those it that's why those guys or who they are. I think it's more than just the lyrics. It's the music. You know and um
that's what you're really trying to find, as any comic is trying to find, like you said, you're trying to cut your sleeves on the common job. To me, it's, but it's the same thing. It's cutting your sleeves of your comedy is what is
What is my music? How am I delivering such as the topics it's like? I could still talk about. Gay marriage of billboard talked about gay marriage. I just don't want to talk about it the way he talked about it. I want to talk about the way I talk about his ex your voice and, what's what's so interesting, is I remember, hearing method man, one time say and by the way, if he didn't
I apologise, but he said is now what
wrap about it's how you wrap and he goes about how you spit like it's about that
Would he do that
yet just you could hear
at Z. You can hear it all all he does is like my brain yeah. So it's like. I think that is true with music. I think that's true, like bob dylan riley, you like that, hey have he. You know like bob Dylan, you know god damn fucking bloomberg yeah. So so, like that's the thing I think every comic is looking for and that's what they got
like your even talking there right now, where you're going like writing Joe.
Books than only. I could say. I'm joy aliens element to me that, but that's the move
at that level now, like you, we are well known enough. You gotta fan base like people and now you're goin. Now I'm going to separate myself from the pack in a different way. You know I did with
sure thing fine. I don't even think that was a gimmick as much as you just like doing it and it felt natural. I think the second time around it's a gimmick. Maybe I dunno I mean all around. I'm like I still haven't worn a shirt or whatever, and everyone has a you know a lot. Most successful people have some kind of a gimmick, but I do think that you do that.
The challenge of it and I think you either can do that or you can- and I dont understand, I think part of it. Look, I think, part of life in any sense,
ass? Is luck and timing. It's a big factor. Luck and timing are factors but look talent.
You know, talents a big, obviously as well, but you gotta have tell to big factor
but they cannot always asking talented, comics or think about how many talented actors are forget comic. They want how many movies you ve seen within
actor in it. I just saw my group, my girlfriends, because she's younger than me just thirty four. She like
said instagram a lot more than I do, I'm like really not that you know what I'm trying harder is apparently that matters, but it's,
There's only one rogan told me about today are taught a neutral hog. New social me called vera, maybe I'll get in an early for once, get it, but I'm so the
but she show shown in his this fino. What are these
funny comedy bite. My problem with instagram, sometimes as a comedian, is like what path,
this is a joke
I like the memes. You know it's like that feeling when your girlfriend says yes, but there's no ketchup in the fridge and you're like vileness. What is illness like? I just thought, a joke to me, or it's like that- ass though yeah right, that makes me fucking crazy, we're like yeah well, I didn't know mondays like when overlay
when you learn that there is no yogurt and in the store, but you buy yogurt at the other store and you're like is that when, when that happened, I don't mind a good meme, a meme that makes me laugh, I don't either. Some of them are good and some of them are happy
walking install majority them are happy and stolen. Oh yeah component. This is, although even this far I dont like
I have a problem with people read,
hosting simply funny thing:
they found on line on their instagram. Yet I go none in an no. No! No, I
we found that anyway, you you'll get credit for that. We all want to see that you got for.
One thousand likes on the video you had to do with yeah. You just found enjoyable, so you both have the years I've. I try to create all my original content and because I'm a comedian, that's what I fucking do for a living, and I just
ruggles. I think something for me sometimes creating original content in that space, because I dont really think about.
That's what I like twitter a lot. I have a lot of fun on twitter, like writing, jokes. Sometimes they do well
sometimes they don't, and that by do well, I mean get a lot of retweets or likes right. You've got to be at that mindset like you've gotta, be in the mood, I'm a visual person, so I think I'm better in like a podcast visual medium, like
meaning one of the two
and so like. For instance, I came up with this
series long time ago, come up with a maid think and they
really really big and that now making a hotel? I leave a hotel room in a really interesting way. They went viral. They were like really crazy right, and so I say some of them were done about us, but they won't went viral
when people would post them as their own and it really bothered me an obligation, and oh I created that
I'm the one that sat in the room and then you have to give it up to the world go. I guess, there's no
what I can do about that ip. I I it's
that richard louis bit on kirby induce enthusiasm years ago when he says from Hell, is his
That's my Larry. You know like the idea of like that was a vacation from Hell he's like that's me.
I put forum held their people- just use it now and and
I had that happen to me only about one time where I did up a post which was built on
tromp in that silver foil dress. I saw this.
With yeah and and and I I said to my girlfriend- I was like what and she helped me with it, but we went online and we found this where she felt whenever a perfectly wrapped burrito that looked exactly the same when I put it out there and it was the best instagram post as far as likes and whenever I ever
but it went to an you, wrote who wore better yeah were it went to everywhere it
to lie in other words, would know like it, went to the
instagram sites like I'd, not fat
but that level of, like oh, the lad by me, yeah billions of a card again whatever all these car, like that level of we're, was getting like a hundred thousand likes, and I had no credit on it in ireland. It would be like, and it was one of those things were like how much
that bother me and how much you did not bother me, but then there's a party there's a golden goal. I guess it being
on its grandma's against my followers as possible, so that when you're, promoting something or are principally out their people like you, so then it's like well, if I did
and nobody knows I did it stems, gets it fails in now and then do you like people go, you could watermark and white, but that's so stupid, one or more like put leg at realities across it. It's like now, you like really go and because the biggest joking
that is of any water market, and only eighty people
that is a loser is more likely. This in areas would have my machine stories, I posted it and then people started stealing
and go in and posts in iran
thing, but luckily it was my stand up. So I was in my life
fat? I do all them as like post away yeah postal,
If that's your don't even credit me, you don't even need a credit. The people are all someone's going to say is who's the guy that got involved the russian mafia and you're like that's all. I need
make got forty million views on my basis cries, but it got another hundred across a board of people. Just posting it everywhere, like one guy, got
for, like fifty nine million views on his page- and I was I don't. This is a fucking total fake facebook, page said guy's name man, the guy gets views. I was like
welcome post away yeah. I do that with every video I have I go. If people want to post it posted on there yeah. Well, I mean and look I'd be thrilled for some
grab one of mice. I'm only recently started putting little still to be doing stanhope, oh my god, but being littered that's what made made Kevin art yeah, but
It's funny is now, but
have this hour and I'm waiting for it to be released. I'm just starting to go well. I should just
finalize the edit and just start putting,
and youtube posting it because there's no reason not to yeah, there's no reason not to enter it. It is one of those things where part of it is. You know. Part of it was like the whole expert.
of like thinking it was going somewhere and then not and then later I wouldn't have. Why wouldn't rule out it not goings on no I'm saying, but I can still be. I can stop it. I tell you what I know I got them
no time I I get a proper bible girl dollar coming out of the hospital, soon Jesus, so so
but on what will here will give a jewel we'll tightness up and more
put up in a boat, nice bow and then have everyone. Was there a three hour interview with worry he'll, be on tomorrow? Yeah, that's right! Listen to that live I'll, get on the treadmill and listen to me. I love when you're on rogen and he's like. I said it that he loves you man, you can tell one of those things. Man were like
the no. I didn't know him, I did his podcast and we just hit it off and I never had something I mean like I said I did the daily show for years and
ever miniature behind the scenes staff. But I've
I have more people come up to me because of that I still have
come out to sea shows little due to her John rogue duties when it's like in its like. Don't he's fans there their language
comedy fan great comedy finger and they're, like really cool people and like they're, very cool and they're, really interested in a lot of things, and they remember, like some. I've had dudes come out to be. Like oh remember when you said that thing and that's why I said to you. I said that music thing on rogan. I only know that, because recently I mean
like listen to it back? It's like yourself. Yes, we're too listeners of, but recent,
I was at a club in like a a younger comic was like dude. I heard you on rogan. I was like all taxis like that thing. You said
the time to be like music was really like impact music
Why did I say that on there you know and and and people it's like, you know you
almost like more memorable than anything else. You can do because people are hearing you talk, it goes over and over and over and it reaches such abroad. People say to me about like day that story told on rogan. Someone said this about a fight the fighter and the kid that I came and he hugged me
I can tell that haircut bit, you did on fighter and the kid was like one haircut bit then they're like dude was hilarious about the guy, cutting your hair with a razor blade.
I was like cause. I didn't think of that as a comedy to go. How did you know? I was a guy because you
you're just ripping you just talk and I've had that I've had to just been out with fright.
it's like that happen to me the other day. There's these two guys. I was in this web series last year and I was out here for like like a month shooting the thing and at the two guys who did it were like young and cool and like young director, young writer, like they're, just cool much cooler.
I am and they want wanted. I told him I was out here so we went and had lunch the other day, and I was just like
Talking to them, and I was goes started going on this on intent.
No, but they were talking about like how hard it is to get stuff out,
there are people watch it whatever is good or bad and go, and then they
other thing is even if it's good people hate everything now and I just started going on this too
about like like just in timber like at the superbowl, like. I couldn't believe people hated that
like it was like twenty minutes of a dude like singing dancing. It not live
sinking door. Like mirrors, it wasn't a stating baby grasp that even a full grand piano like he's a dad company, fuck dad's, you know that
if I could do in that, you don't owe me most adulation home like at on the cap
farting right does just that. He doesn't think with a micro, the and the people tat, slack
Did you like that sought and I, like I, just started going on his tear about it and then it brought me back.
Like that show lost where people hated lost, duplicate and other loss was on seven years and they did twenty four episodes us
he's in on free,
television, it wasn't. Hbo could always abc on the house on the
I was twenty four episodes a year of a show, shot on location in hawaii, with a plane crash special effects that are the people that smoke man who didn't wrap up. Well, it's like fuck you and it's that
night and then I'd text it on the other day, and I got dupe because you,
You should do that unsafe. Unlike what and then I thought about It- and I was due
this spot last night and I texts at him, and I went what was a thing
I said I should do it because I totally forgot about it and they both hit me back like verbatim with what I said and then I did a show last night and I tried it and it was like that was because sometimes you're just talk
king, you know, and you don't realize what you're saying to someone else so do like. I do apologise
Once we can, you find all this shit, you drop. Do you do to listen back and go heads and I'd be familiar with? No, no, not at all, not at all. I bear it will hold on not the flu land nasty virus, giving her steroids much better. Tomorrow,
well, alright, we wrap this up there, yeah so you're going on rogan tomorrow, yeah I am I'm more into art yeah, maybe we'll, I think, I'm a oh. I was going to go down and that is comedy sort of knight and Jeff Jeff Ross is a. I
rows of catalogues you've never been to a roast battle. I've been, and I want to come out here: yeah fuck, yeah same yeah and if you're in a we didn't always loads, you up with the genos, speak to each other degenerates between know. I don't yeah, no geno. I don't really know anyone at the comedy store. I was there the other night hanging everyone's sick of my mouse. I might go out to the comedy store tonight. Yeah dude come out, that'd, be good, because then you can introduce you to hold him for fucking avails. I was like I'm going to stay away from
many for two weeks. They try to live my life of my family and be a dad for two weeks. I just I was burnt
it's so are leading up to this special that I was like, like every
We got a guy and it was nice to take it to a break like that. I think it is more light on the defence. I do that. Sometimes, if I'm on the road a lot alot allow a lot and then it might be the whole week about, like the seller every night or due to spot tonight at different club on the state of new york data to sell your country and I'll just go. You know what, like I dont, have a couple gigs I dont have gigs for a couple weeks. I,
I'm working on new stuff now have an hour coming up like take it take a week
We all go out friends, yeah exactly funny at a table like you were as a kid and just goof around yea, I gotta I've gotta. Have you on this podcast again and let me too man. I would have come out here again in a couple of months. So how long are you here for I'm here till the month like another week of Monday phase, maybe,
You will know another one later in the week, I'm because there's so much I didn't get to talk to you about. I wanna talk to you about so when you come back
this is what I want to talk to about. Remind me, this elderly member. I want to talk to you about what it was like. I had the same experience leaving tv
going back on the road going from being successful and and
with money to still having money being huh.
Bob I like going into a place. I want to talk about that experience. They haven't when nobody knows you when you show up, do like the balances that can I help you, sir. You, like that big poster and behind you that happened to me. I haven't made the truck this weekend. Happens me all it's a sort of functions, the truck and I go, and
cut the line and the owners like who the fuck are. You get the fuck outta here and I was like I'm bored and she was like. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. This happened said this villa but dude. I think you're fucking phenomenal. What do you know your tour dates coming up yeah, I got a couple of stuff you can in this month in march, I've got them in rhode island. I kind of look and have to look at my own website. That's how stupid I was. I should have prepared and yeah I'll tell you where I am because it'll be good to have people come to my shows, and I am at
I hear yo bomb at the comedy connection in rhode. Island is providence on the ninth and tenth and then at their other club in in massachusetts cab, a comedy club on the eleventh of march and then I'm at disney
HO chunk casino in
with lack river falls, wisconsin yeah, I'm there for one night, HO chunk casino, yeah anna
That's in wisconsin so come to that. But for most people,
Who are coming to that? As you know it most casinos or people like taken,
break from losing money. Like
words daddy, it's because you so mad. Do. The casino shows that I go to our have been really fucking fun yeah, because there are fine, but sometimes that people in the audience like how much how bad is it?
hello, luxurious zombie only a whole and the like cooling, their heels remit and then
If the comedy works in denver, the twenty ninth to the thirty first that whole weekend of march, I know these people that I know we have denver fans so pleased that he co hosts music hall in April. That's like the April twentieth amount of cohoes musical in upstate new york, which is just a book just really dude guy. A good dude who owns his club in saratoga springs also called the comedy works and books. He is like a bunch of these.
Which is a cool dude like likes having comics from new york city, come up and work on material. You will like. I trust me when I say you're, one of my favorite people or people listened to
by august. Iceman aerodromes islets and my mother gave you you know I gotta tell you when we met is funny when you
came up to me at that party at the comedy cellar. I was like I'm like such a fan of yours that I was like
and I'm out I want to say, like starstruck, but it's like when you like. Do you have comic,
we just like, and you don't know they know what I mean and then you're like hey dude. I've always wanted me. I was like oh, I was trying to be like whatever dude or then when I said to my girlfriend afterwards, I'm like dude that was so cool like I'm such a fan of burden and that's like
Like there's a whole group EL
like I don't know Tom either, you know it's like a justice. There's no time to talk about. You is idle words, but deeds out there. That, like I just want to get to know, unlike
Yes, I love and they're so funny, and they seem like do that would hit it off with, but like on that out. Here
that's what the reason I'm trying to come out here. Just hang out more and I added and ibm tonight. Maybe they come out when they nominate go, see that my daughter I now but depending on how, if she's real,
echo my head out and if she's ok,
we may be. I am also doing improv thursday, with rogan and brian red ban show em on
yeah. So have you ever again if you can't make it out tonight, but just before I have some drinks and shoot the shipment I'd like to do that. Maybe maybe one of the nicest weeks will do that because on one of the things I'm really good at one am I really biggest strength? Is energy
some people really like comedies too. I'm amazed. I need to ask her aska aska chris Destefano. He was out here and I was like who do you want to meet and he was like what I was like I'm here. Let me walk you around.
Because I love introducing people awesome. I wanted it. That's a nice thing to here man, because I do think this is a part of the industry. That's like you.
I want you always approached some
and then go hey, I'm a comic in order to me like it's always so much nicer, where our ego gets a little bit in the way where, like like. I look. I know that
they know they may know me. I don't know why may have met
before going up in saying I backfired me, I michael Costa and I just got caught off guard.
a motorcycle helmet in his hand. I didn't know he ride motorcycles and I was like him and I'm bert, and he was like. Are you
fucking getting another. Oh my god, my god, I'm so sorry news like you're fought very did you just
big die me and I was like. Oh my god dude. I always don't think that's big timing either. I always try to reintroduce myself to people or reintroduce because, assuming they don't remember me, do you know what I mean
make it awkward and so people think that's like big time like no, I think that's little timing, because in my head, I'm like I'm so
insignificant. You probably have to article will: listen thanks for have fun on rogan, Thanks man and opposed to either tomorrow or next week, depending on right. Thanks for having me on, I love you brother and thank you who will thanks
the
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Transcript generated on 2023-07-13.