The hey guys, new podcast and you are really love this one. This might be the hardest. I've ever laughed on a podcast and it it build, the drunk or we get the more. We willa, latham and brad and I had to go to the ground, next day I'm fucking start giggling, just you'll get it He had to go to one this morning and kept him on long. It's a great pod guest. I really think I know you guys really love this doing jamie one and we're gonna have Jamie back we're a stew back with death, sour, but this is I'm telling you man? Are these late? No money upon cats are really fuckin phone. I gotta Claudia couple because I'm going on tore oh shit, this weekend, August twenty What did twenty six data blob phoenix

late show saturday, I'm still doing away so saturday, despite the fact that the fight in centuries going on so get your It's too said apply Phoenix den recovery, comedy works way up, seven sold out twenty eight the sold out- and there are now to get on the twenty ninth and then Singapore september knife Perth September, eleventh sidney september, thirteenth, melbourne september, fourteenth and brisbane the timber eighteenth dc improv. Also, sold out. We have added a late show, thursday, everybody on the twenty eighth to the dc. Improv this just in austin, I will be there the twelfth thirteenth and fourteenth of october. We just added that today, I'm get ready for this special. Some really can hit the road hard. This fall, but austen at capsules. Comedy club, the twelfth thirteenth and fourteenth. chicago improv nineteen too, twenty one of october in practice,

jokers crews, the first second and third and fourth of november. That's my birthday. The third irvine improv, the ninth to eleventh Tampa improv, the sixteenth to eighteenth as the casino on the first of December spoke. in comedy club, the fourteenth through sixteenth west palm beach brought new year's eve. The twenty ninth thirtieth thirty first, lie in whom I guess the first right, Mary go. It's gonna, be experts, fight, stress factory in new york in egypt, the january eleven thirteen to come a comedy club. Eighty two twentieth helium calmly club in portland there, twenty fifth through twenty seventh and the twenty, eighth, I guess in january I don't normally that I know why some get ready for my special, but I'm shooting at that trocadero the twenty second twenty third, twenty? Fourth, there will be dates added the first wicked february, the second week in february, the third week in february, and then we are taking a fucking break in horror, the road a little unhealthy. I would say

said to me today. Dad you workin too much Yes, we had a long talk about it on the car ride to the eye doctor for real. Yes, you said care she said, is dead, working tonight yeah. He is ensured I've been trying to watch wreck it ralph with, since we were in florida. I feel guilty. I told her to tell you that she did good. You have our work into much needed one day off a week. You do, I know I need to take a day of weak tonight, I'm doing jody, as is pod cast. So if you listen to this region, it may enjoy on Joey's podcast the church. What now he's picking me up tonight, forty five, so I'm work but they're gonna be asleep. You know whatever. How do you sanitizing mike's after he leaves light, is a small member last time as well go don't know his podcast, oh yeah, no, a yeah like we'd yeah yeah. I know well sanitize, hey guys,

progress coming up have ever want to see them. progress by the way. This is a great festival. I wish I was a part of it. I tried to get my schedule so then you get in on this, but but I am gone and my gun am I doing this october, seventh, eighth and ninth october. Sixth, seventh and eighth: let me check, I don't think I'm doing it. I thought I was doing it for a second. I might be doing this. I think you might be. I think I am doing this shit I should look into this issue, maybe ass. If I am doing are we doing alive pod guest? Not only you see me there for you to see a ton of other great live podcast, including w e f more baron dial up, We all know how much we love the fuckin dollop by the way they're gonna be back up gas. For a monday night. Lay drinking broadcast coming up, I think days got some big come up

I'm not going spoiler. Lord it, my favorite murder the jackie, a lorry, show and loads of mortality by gas market counters October sick seventh and eighth and come out of the beautiful stored. Moreover, on down to LOS angeles, this hotel was the home of the academy awards back and thirtys. Did you know that leo yes idea, it's a beautiful hotel. This is really because it's a hundred percent independent event produced by pact pike esters for podcast fans? of your independent gas there's the kind shit. You wanna go to there's not some corporate shill trying to megan, not off of something that just got hot. I mean look grandma. the guy put together. So we know we all know, grant grant fuckin fantastic. I've heard about this festival for a long time, I've always wanted to be a part of it. Graham reach out to us Independently and to get us all to hold the dates on our calendars, and- and I guess I did id. I don't know why. I pity she put it in your counted. Maybe I have a hard time putting stuff my calendar so opera,

we do a drinking. Maybe I do a concept workshop on gas there and we'll just in the early morning down at the biltmore love that. Anyway good ellie, apart from stockholm, to buy your tickets that l a p de Effie as t dot com to buy take it right now, it's gotta be a long year to make sure you have some last laughter scheduled into it. Don't miss and tons of others go to allay pod, vest dot com and by your tickets, by the way. I am well aware that you guys, like dude thirty minutes of ads yeah. I know and it's an eminent eighty, three and a half hours of comedy funny. You say that cause I was in Bulgaria and there were so many people. They said they want. They listen to all of our adds because I'm on them, so There you go, the they're tell you what I just wouldn't say anything. I didn't say who do you listen to the ads cause, I'm on them? They were saying that I thought that was cool. You jerk I thought that was cool this podcast

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better ilo is flashing. Us from the man gave a clear. Ladies and gentlemen, special guest, appearance, ilo crusher. Hey tell them what you told me about not working lay glennie or tat night because then I've been till I can move. You have him for like three months and he was never home to watch it. Does that make me a bad dead, maybe You like bore watching movies with me or eating lacking movie It is with me or not sleeping other trees at night. In the park lacking these and eating. At the same time, what do you like? Better being able to go to the eye. order into the doktor and not dying because we live in gutters or watching. Movies. Jesus movies,.

While you really have your priority. Screwed up ilo are well. We are not working tonight, I'm doing jellies pie gas late night tonight, ok, baby you'll, be in bed and then then I'll try to try to jam german work up later or maybe first thing tomorrow. Ok, All right, I'm sorry, ok, thing fur. Why I'm here thing Like a promo thing yeah yeah due to promote this- is for the broadcast from my podcast, like blue apron, something that fuck about not this episode, but this absurd outlook not lay thank you for your free plug.

I know the next time he does one for them. Maybe you should come in and talk about how much you like your who'd? How much do you, like almost you like mama death bed? I like your mattress they go casper. What do you like about the mattress calf per the friendly guth or casper? the comfy matra! What you like about woman does matter. I like smells like Why can't we would know you all right? Get out of here. We gotta finances, reed, will you come in I'm coming right now, baby? I just got oppose this by August and I'm coming in the watch him back? It ralph! Ok, I know I know dad is doing the best. He can. Alright, I love you so today's by gas, but, like I said it just get progressively better you're gonna love it. They have a progress runner, you guys. I can explain who everyone is

Adam ray and brad Williams. My yesterday item is an brad have apart it s called about. Last night I did their progress a fucking blast and they say what progress they said, one of the most listen to observe and its because not it's only because we have chemistry, the three of us Radner, very similar men. Oddly enough, I think a lot of people on the road, a voice said that that were similar. As we just one of a good time? We want to be silly, wanna be goofy. We want to giggle and we're not don't talk shit about people with all hate, People we don't feel like we're in a context where they want. We just do our own thing. Adam absolutely fucking hilarious they met in. U s c big here, they're, to tell you all about this, but a comedian he's friends with another one of my good friends ended. And he divine Adam divine who end up talking about on the spot guessed. But I'm telling you what I say this you're getting. half in your flock index off today, because brad. I'm just gonna. Let I'm going just let you find it. I dont want to spoil it. Ladies and gentlemen, today's cop august,

Ladies and gentlemen, today's broadcast. Adam ray brad williams, yeah, it's it's it's a big day in the criteria household while yet not everyday get a new car. The up the girls of your bags, place. I want to go. Look what's gonna, be the link, continental and everyone in the floor on the show recognize me ass. If there was one It was during the eclipse Why did you? I have hanging the pictures and some videos I'm waiting for the double rainbow eclipse guy. You know what I'm saying like the guy that freaks out hey. Did you see trump really looked at the fucking man? I love fucking, I'm starting to like him again going on. It's been all the way back around just cause he's like he's so bad. It's like

the foolery yeah. I love that he just goes fuck whatever they say there, I'm still here, but the sun better than the thing on a tighter than I do my eyes. Won't they won't get blinded. I've got Jabez dies the best the best add googly eyes yeah. There probably is something in his brain when he makes choices like that where he does think he's invincible. The same way when you first start to smoke or drink like I remember the first time I like small and I end of stealing it was then seattle, right and a body mine had come to visit me from college, and I like for whatever reason felt like the need to like impress him, because he was like this. He just already had this big backlog of like party stories and I really smoke pots. We we've got super high. We went to safeway the grocery store in seattle and What is also like invincible and I walked down the aisle, and I was like I'm gonna- get one cookie from ever

every bag right. I want like twenty five bags and I opened them, and I took one cookie from each thing, not thinking about the consequences, and then I walked around like what I want food. What I want to get what I want to like buy and then I got a loaf of bread and a diet pepsi. I was like this seems like the perfect snack, and I do it right in front of two guys that later I found out were security guards and I go through to pay for it and then, as soon as I walk by, I see the the checker kind of closed the register and go all right, he's walking out, and I hear that in my peripheral, but I'm so baked and I'm like it might have been tagging somebody else who is the one cookies and then I get outside and the two security guys. Just grabbed me to go. You want to pay for those cookies. like looking like it. You know some initiatives like I said, I panic and I looked at him and I go my girlfriend broke up with me today. He goes like say something that will target their heartstrings and they're. Like likely story. They take me upstairs to go through all my shit. I start panicking. I'm like I'm not going to go to jail emma like no you're, cooperating, it's fine and, like I was still so high that they were like you know. I give me all your info like. What's what's your address and I was like two for one

I still use the cookies that guy was like dude put the cookies downloads. Like I'm sorry I'm. Actually I am, but that's how Adam got on america's most wanted. Yeah yeah: where did you grow up short lake forest park? Washington? It's like twenty minutes north of seattle. I yeah that doesn't makes sense? Why was I was like today tomorrow need common over and I was like I know Adam and buy. Don't know him enough, so yeah I'm going to start watching some of his videos, oh cool, so short crawled through and I go man I was like. If this was. nineteen one you would have been picked up the day. You got here and plugged into sitcom, as italian neighbor, our fuck yeah, like can we go back in that? I was like I was like. Oh, I bet he's from staten island or something and it was like going to different level I'm going to, and then it was like awesome I'll check

wikipedia page did you know there is an atom ray yeah from who, like that? Does that must be the ultimate farmer, yeah r e y eighteen, sixty eight, the top Adam fuck yeah. I have to become an actual farmer and crop better than he did as a whole. I was giggling so hard at that, but but I can't believe you're from fucking nobody yeah. I dunno I mean I dunno. I dunno when whatever my or is that I mean what did you think when I mean oh, I definitely thought new york, jew, yeah I'd, say: jewish yeah, ok erase my mom's, my dad's last name and but my mom's last name. Obviously you take the yeah, I think you're you're, jewish, based on the mom,

the furthest thing from a dwarf. Is I dunno? It's all holy religion, we're starting it now, none of the roller coasters involved. He really should. That was one of the most heartbreaking things. I've ever seen. You went to the park with kate, quigley and then sturdier, and they wouldn't let you on the ride, because you were not fucking them and it's your life. If you're going to die on this thing, you're going to die on this thing, they are to you they they should have like a little wave, or at least just like hey. If I die in this thing I going to sue you, not your fault yeah, just not your usual ecclesia and yeah, that's sort of a hack job to say I can't get on roller coasters, but in droves again we're. How did you meet we first.

I met in college. We both of us to experiment- and I was like alright, I've been with chicks. But what does the other side look like a much smaller? Let's start. Also, I don't want to go back yeah, I'm not going to go with you start small. I get asian people like you came and say, like hey, my only gay experience was with a midget, I'm sure all the guys would be like. Well, that's not a gay experiences that yeah that that's just awesome. That's not that's! Not gay! That's more fetish! Yeah, fine, finish! Trump's gay! I understand that a would give a cute looking male dwarf walks in front of you. You can't be held responsible for this conversation. The other day with somebody about they were like has brad ever tried to hook you up and with low person, and I was like now but like I've been, I guess, emit a few

with you like. I met some of the little women. What he wants to the camera show yeah the definitely I mean I'm sure every do when I dunno how much of a social situation you have to be in before you actually like her the size like what would it be like like? Would I five seconds that's all just like five seconds in front of a dwarf, and I think every guy goes like this, that'd, be more that you're saying I would last five seconds or to shoot the fucking baby. I mean it is what do you make that joke? I I had it where a dwarf girlfriend that she would always shave down there and I to tell her like you, gotta grow some hair down ass. You because it is imperative that you at your age in the pacific region, eels variant com

evolve for me, because I'm holding I'm holding your legs up in the air spank me daddy and yeah. Please please take the bib off, because that's really is really creepy. Who was the who is the door or door me, I'm so bad at the combine them all. I don't want to hit the widget. The widget name, just hangs out with MIKE bucy yeah her she had where a near endo, oh yeah, jesse. Ok, I know jack she's great, yet jet Jes actually just used to be on micro championship wrestling. That was a thing really sponsored it and, as you will see, their female dwarf wrestler. So yet it like. Wouldn't I would love to be only get mad, be like what I think we all know each other, but we fucking deal.

we all had over budget convention, I'm dying to go no one of it. Well, I mean I'm whenever the next one is I'm yet pretty much your wedding in that convention or the two big events in my life coming up the attitude, I guess I'm telling you the funniest thing. I've ever her I've ever anyway, hey I just told this to Kevin and being the other day yeah, because I did a video to youtube video. I saw a bunch of the fans reached out to like perch said he was funnier than you were a friend I was. I was not the first one is not what I said. I just said that it was funny that Brett Williams had to be like five takes, but it was what I said they said. Nobody has of course been abroad and friends of bright and early. I greet as proud of it. I told you the story of his. You know him and his girlfriend are swingers and they're like yeah, and I go to my favorite is that meet agree with a guy just goes, I guess you're right. It is perfectly well

yeah. No, no! You can't. I dunno, like I hear about things like that, but it's not like. There are still some qualifications you have to meet before Google you're like yeah, everyone, the dumpster, the fucking idiot. You can't do that shit yeah, but you guys in college, I'm in college. So there was a brabazon a year below me and, and there was a stand up like a kid in our class, did a charity show that was a stand up a contest and Russell peters and and Jeff Ross judged it you're out of school, so I think it was only alumni and I've been doing it maybe two years. I think so. I was like I'm a I'm a comic. I mean yeah two years. You know russia and up, and so I went and auditioned and you were like one of the they were judging if you are hosting it, I was hosting it cause. I just started going to row with min c at that point, and

had told me lay well, you ve got experience so yeah, you judge their elbows. Are here yeah you host the thing so our vision and then I think he thought I was all right and had a great joke about forgers coffee. It was my go to you. Members are now having like one thing That's my closer for the next year and a half because I'm trying to get a good five minutes, you ready for You guys ever seen the dating game. Man asked the same questions every time budget over three. If you're gonna, take me on a date will be your date or we go. well and I take the beach and rub you down. It'd be on that show the bachelor number two burt. If you could take me on the perfect day, what would be the perfect date? Well, Becky We started drinking around six picking up till nine, never tried cocaine, but next thing you know: you're snorting, coke off my costume, doing dick freezes as my big clothes breyer, my buddy, who, during shooting a sitcom with who's producing it, was in the with me when I wrote it.

We lived across the street from each other on Macdougall on Macdougall, and Macdougall right york. and he was in there and it was like first time are really wrote a juggler watch in it, and I was like to give you a fucking question is overdue sales. You don't start drinking you start drinking answers. Six bringing up to nine goes it's tony gives you give them credit tonia. And as the egos that's a joke. I want what that is, joke just you know, that's a joke, fuck! Oh, was the end of it and I go and you ve. Never done cocaine came before and he started laughing. I connected it's not gonna like our doing very go body, you gotta, just why? Oh shit in that you haven't had a second set of ears like that is always so lonely old trees are needed from your time. I touch the services face, Susan, cut me off. Then it goes that

I concur with the greatest of raising like on my finger lives. Wake up. I caught me really one more frescoed dickie le embryo. Whenever you ask whether we have scholarly, as does the joke, you fucking idiot really goes yet begun. Make it a cop It's over. I mean I similar situation watching tv you, my clothes was of the forest. They are basically at sea and on. The slogan was like members: by whom wake in its food is eating a cab and as it is it I think he is a little misleading. You got a leg up there, so that I the bit I might like all these quarters slogans like to get an update like. Is it

as part of like to me, there's always be the best part of waking up is not dying in your sleep and to me that's the best part, and then I would go yeah and guess what there was like one of the things where I just did it every set and like to this day like eleanor kerrigan, fucking, sentido de leia they're, just like every now, and then the big man, I'll just think of like that fucking focusing because the jingles so catchy said it with that bit yeah. I remember I can remember at one thousand and one smith was going to have to me and he was like man forges man he's like yeah. That's some funny that says, like other slogans, could be like as long as he does not take much oak and piggy basic, so it could be the

it's part of waking up is get yo dick sucked and I was in the bag as I do. I say that now, then, is that what he just did a good job, yeah yeah? That is that what I do, but I know that you needed like a friend like now, you've been doing stand up long enough to where you, where you can bet they'll need a friend know you do I still like yeah. I told a joke that I told a joke. I don't even know it's a joke and rogan came up to me as I d better be in your act. I go now and he goes. Are you fucking kidding. That's probably having for you all the time. Ok gear. You hear that burger world from me words like you're, you have so many experiences you so a lot going on european piave that, like when you talk about self, depriving I've been thinking all the time and in bit mode right, not I don't, like. It's really interesting. I feel, like I've been away from stanhope a little bit because of travel channel yeah, I haven't been as into it as I once was, and then I got back in this last year, have been really in it like that in it in it and at its

it's your brain switches, back you never production, while you're. Only instead of mood. I do everything I feel like a right a lot on stage and I don't even know that I say something funny, sometimes it so that it is nice to have like someone like the joke I had was Adam somebody some about rules that stand up should set upon his bought with with the german. While I ask someone as it was those subjects, and someone says everything and I got kids like africa, Helen Keller, the same person when rogan started going to Baca and I'm like no, I really like. If I wasn't trying to be funny, I was like. I really did I found out at the anne frank house. When we went to the

the franco's I found out. She was that wasn't who I thought I was when the Helen keller impersonator was outside the anne frank house and you're like oh. These are two different know when I'm walking, through the anne frank house, telling Helen Keller jokes to my friends and they're like what the fuck they're so confused and there's not going to land here. Why did you what about them? Just never like? I don't listen. They both suffer like what was that I heard about them. At the exact same time of my life, I go, gotcha isn't a molded in one person and neither of them really left an impact and Sullivan was Helen Keller's trainer, the trainer trainers, yeah cause deaf, dumb and blind people have a trainer like one of those you train for the triathlon devin fucking. You know very few people know there's Helen Keller, a hell of a crossfitter yeah. I've been blind knew how to power clean b, at penn. So rogan pulled me aside, like that better be in your act. I was not and he goes well. It should be right now and what it was like that oddly enough for that same trips when I had this flying, dildo story happen, and so I said our backing.

Gloss over the fact overflying builder. I think we all the dodo story it. If you really think about your life right evolve, we all have something. I don't know they can set up some sort of an expert right like this when we shall know my throat with my ankle hands up behind me my uncle's leather the fucking, listen bert what you do in your personal. Yet that is why it is that women's edging. It was Finally, with the funny as part of the story is told on road in a long time ago, in everyone's, like that better be a bit, and I didn't know, do story. It like I knew, It'll short stories yet is, I think, a lot of comments. Confused themselves would beans retailers would just telling long bits of an arc yeah, I'm gonna go to tell a story. a moment moments of silence where people are laughing, but their engaged right, so look out what that's a great way to break it. Down like, like I gotta, be has been like. Permit me, as a great storyteller same,

Chris Titus, like they're, all retailers like younger comics go one more storyteller like they know nothing against dame petain will be like I'm a storyteller and you're, not really a storyteller like you do have arcs. Your stories like there is, you know, but just me going overboard over by a cop one time, that's not a story, yes right, but story, can last ten to fifteen minutes my worried or my stories last about thirty minutes ago, you I'll. Tell you right now. If your car but can you go? Oh yeah? I got a fifteen minute story. Your balls, you, mother, fucker I'll, give you my respect because when it doesn't work boy, it doesn't work for fifteen minutes. What do you do there? You just keep going at you're like region for details that you didn't even remember where you started then, and then, like a nyc food, I will say this: nyc food is a legit great storyteller and I don't know if he does it enough. My opinion. I agree, he told

story. That was one of my favorite stories of effort and I was like a dude. About getting, kicked out of his reunion. No, oh! No! I was, I don't ever pick your fuckin guitar up again, just you That man, you're yeah yeah, he's alleged shit. He really is he's a great guy. You know him in seattle. I knew of him modestly, but then an annual once we get to become friends. We have a lot of mutual people in common, but now I didn't really start. I started down here. I moved on here in two thousand want to good actings. Will you see that's what my bread and then in a graduate, no five and then added up, maybe

stand up ten times from a one, two o seven, where it was like a couple open, mics in seattle and then, when I study abroad in london, I lied and got myself into a couple of clubs where I thought I got heard like you. Don't you just make up to these guys at your big deal I can get on stage and I did that a few places and bond saw the fucking club called the monkey bone in london right, downtown london and I'm out there in acting school and I'm like I'm, going to stand up and then again like doing it so minimally, but thinking I was a comic and telling my program yeah come to the fucking, show and see me and the guy who brings me up was like this next guy. I don't really know who he is. He just begged me to get on stage. He could be funny, probably won't be so don't judge me. It's fucking, like two hundred fifty people sold out. there in this was bald, bald head, like a weird to thing going on, so go air next, given up for a full collins, retarded step brother. Exactly just that and I could hear the first joke and they like nothing. And then I get one joke about

some Michael jackson, thing I mean it was just really to save it, but yet we drink tea over here. That was so great a bit as good, as always las. Where I was at the comedy store, I would do those bringer shows and then that's like because why people from school and like acting class to come to shows, but still was like once every month named count. When do you count? You started two thousand and seven okay, because that's when I I brought by a girl of of a friend of mine, my girlfriend cheated on me, I have in reno. She was a news reporter and she fucked the camera guy and that's a great story so there she at so then I was like. Oh, I think I think I'm done you know. I think that's it and

You know ass, all that I mean I dunno if your been cheated on, but it's like. I asked all the questions I didn't want to know the answers to I've been cheated. I might suggest they exist. Why would you ask me that I might get into they actually like what it tastes like? Why do you do? I was so thrown off. Man was a new case like that. So just like an overwhelming, like I dunno what to do so, I started asking. I didn't want to get up and leave so I was like, but I didn't know what to say so. I was like the angry but also like. I felt bad for her because she was so broken down. So I was just like. I feel bad, you did you. Let him come and I knew what it at least. You hope you did that, like I dunno what the fucking deal, we were looking for. One thing to make: you feel better about it. I guess there was the worse right by the way all cameramen listening the camera man moves to fuck or host. Oh, I asked her, I said: did he shoot? Did he shoot your stories in your face? Is why I said to her as a joke and she was like. Why would you say that I was like I dunno the fucking to handle this? He, the camera,

let's see when you're this guy, apparently he's a predator too, because I wrote a song about it and animated it. It's on youtube type of my name was reno cheater and it got passed around that new station apparently and a friend of mine that I became friends with used to work there and she goes hey just letting you know. Everyone saw that video and everyone knew it was Jeff, the guy who fought there and she goes by the way he was trying to fuck everybody. And oh shit, and she goes and I go should posted on its way Google and she's like no he's got like ptsd and he was in Iraq and, like he's got, he takes medicine for his blood. I dunno what the fuck that means, but it means don't post on his facebook wall pressure medicine for his blood Jesus Christ, so he eventually did see it and said it was a. She goes. Jeff said it was hilarious and also, of course he did dude, because he bucks the girls to do that. So he loves it when you're a host. You want such approval from your cameramen that you're doing a good job that they base. We have like a daddy thing over. You were well like my cameraman. me are so close because

my whole time it's it's like as a especially with the comics. I was just trying to make them laugh yeah. So if I could get them to laugh or get them to engage, I was like fuck yeah, but yeah that, and I know a couple camera guys who fucked female hosts- and it was like- I mean it once gone for the yeah. I mean what you know she was you know. What we're trying to say is if you don't have a clear path. Right now can remember the fucking married her cameraman danny Moder yeah, his name's danny moder yeah, by the way to a party. She was act, as my friend was friends, danny my friends, a cameraman. and remember union, do you know how could him and his brother shot days of thunder no talking what they were like fucking eighteen Am I married to julia around? No, no, no now he's married to another check, but they invited Julie roberts over there is something they'll may was quick as that some way on a list of people. I went apart my party people list and

but I don't have one, but I make one tonight is that sent like others? I should have thought of it. Let people when the party with the sheep in the top ten dude, I don't know why you seem so fuckin go. She was sitting crisscross applesauce on a couch enough that looking at belts causes the girl, one of them moms designed belts, it was like fire really really high and bell tellier issues about per man. Her smile filled, a fucking room. I know like people go you can tell when they ve got a thing, will psmith as got that thing. When you see him, he overall you I think the rock probably has a two year like like Michael caine Why buy? I dunno man just started the longest on marco. Everyone wants to pay where we can smell. You like. You are scotty pippin cologne, you smell what that kind of cook Ashraf. Nobody says that she's looking at belt, she was just she was like.

Remember I felt like her body filled the relax you just their energy filled the room yeah and I could some staring and by the way, her husband or his or her boyfriend is fucking yoked he's a gorgeous perfect body tat, looking dude what are the julie, robberies? Fifty she's turned fifty? How does great yeah. Of course I mean yeah. We just had chris read on her podcast and chris Chris, or the black comic yeah. There's no stopping yeah. I mean pop star yeah. Do that is such a very vulgar movie? Isn't it will just take an array to do whatever you know he was a black guy, he's black told a story about being on the set of pop star Angela Jolie just came to set wonder what just visit. Dude she's got she's got the this policy right now. What inside of asia, face yeah

by the way, I'm not sure about that. We, as I said what like by the way, I also said what, like I knew exactly what that means or build walls. You have a facebook paralyzed. So what do you do? Kind of droop? There's there there's the way. Why does it sound so like undermine those palsy sounds like I dunno, group that covers christmas. Songs like they could come up with a better name. It definitely doesn't sound as bad and what does Palsy at least one of my fears, waking up or bell's palsy and go out great. the fucking road is? Not going to happen for the next month right cause, I'm not going out with bell's palsy and you can get rid of it in a month like three weeks, yet you can take aspirin, they say no, I I think it's it's based on stress, shot forgot, which, by

wait. So all we have to do is to cure. Bell's palsy is not be stress, but half your face is drooping down. Like stress you, out of a little stress into the to the little I got and and alopecia alopecia on around the store for awhile. They were like Steve byrne, a mad at it. Like It's worried that all your hair falls out. They all have their face now, more norman, sorry mark mark norman. Has it sheds and he was like dude. I'm and no more he's like nah gotta gotta, go to the doctor that I got it from France, my heritage, all out. This is a bit more normally. I know I know but yeah it's when he talks on the job melissa. What's funny about his patents is he is so brutally honest, sometimes that his cadence really lightens some insanely yeah fuck the girl. I call them found blood on the head of my dick. It's just so funny to read is opie, I'm not. I don't like,

when the opium and anthony stuff went down, I guess he was on Jim and sam and they were like we, do openings like yeah, I don't enjoy it yeah. I think like really that yeah you get a kick out of like there. There there's some guys like mark norm sebastian man's calico where talks in bits of it. It's gonna go this far. It's ridiculous bastion has put such an imprint on comedy community that that I've never heard of the term act. Doubts I really I'd, never that I never heard of it in doing comedy in probably for seventeen slide in this last year. I've heard act out more than anything, and I noticed that like they're, not, Everyone should do act out YAP like, but everyone's trying to sebastian up there. including me, I gotta be honest parties like maybe not selling things enough once dancing for just Now the gunman fifteen million dollars last year. So there's something to it. What it's also it's I don't know it's there. It's such a proof. I mean

for me, it's like the doing act. Doubts is being like you, know, actor first and then comic and it's like it's just a part of everything. I've done on the stage prior to that was involving that, and it's also with certain stories and I'm sure you do too. You can't help but like take on the persona of yeah somebody in that story or wanting to I mean and and there's like there's crazy, act as like what sebastian does were wholly crab. The act outcome. As long as I'm set up, then you can just have little things like I know you, Jim Jim, if he says that run he does that hey what you got there late like that run that he does any and he just kind of, but that's the quick part of the bit I gather that doubt when there's like sits abortions is one of the love with thing at the theme is overwhelmingly, and I sat through and watched a bunch of netflix you the other day of watching the first, I'm watching the first fifteen seconds. Everyone special, because I think,

as the most important part of the best one on netflix right now. That's one way: ass arguable, is either Jim Jeffreys or nor mcdonald. Nor magda, special starts the audio. To a special starts over the bee role. set ups and special since muscles immediately all sectors genius, that's genius, Jim Jim, these comes out pigs Innovation just goes bill cosby. I like that yeah and that's what you need for a great specialist. I gonna get right to it like, and I don't really. I didn't have that in my last one. I don't have it yet on this, one, so you saying that you don't enjoy like when people tried you like a little sketch beforehand or are no longer. This gets very good, like I think I saw, I would also like you're losing me like yeah you're, losing me. I don't give people an opportunity to I mean unless it's just like you know what you're good at you're good at doing stand up. Let's not do a sketch mister girl

I sketch that I thought was really great with him walking through a city as I love that he's going to a fat bar yeah yeah, but I didn't do I sketch on my last one just because I forgot about it and I was like I was like: oh, it was coming out and was like should I never did ask something like this. he's just gonna be. Ladies and gentlemen bert closure date at that's it all I wanted and didn't don't want to joke shirt off or walk out and then take the shit out of one guy. Take it off right now, I think I'll. Let everyone guess about candidate that I want to make sure you're, not thinking like. Maybe I should do this one with my shirt on I'm just making that's not in your thought. I was so funny. Maize is all about. We should all right now I said, and we have old, I was told not certain terms, but in vain. And very aggressively directional views that

doing, especially there sure of is not a good idea. Does who said everybody nothing so, and so they were, they were like you know it. I just some of my managers were like judy was, as I fuck it, but there were a lot of you will go like ok, you three or even the day we were shooting at their like to be sure one, didn't really sure off, and I was like I, my I thought. Processing wasn't marketing wasn't branding. It was that I simply had done something one way for seven fuckin year and I hadn't done at our orders vessel where, for the first time on a special kind of pity myself in this box and then once it came out somewhere that's genius, you know if you've been doing it for thirty years, everyone's gonna remember the guy with the shirt off and then yes and then I did this other video went like went viral. The vichy thing about whether the out a video of our other wait, stop raffle, and I know I'm not I'm not thinking ribbing with my shirts. Often that obvious is well it's someone just

all the comments like oh shit. This is the guy with the russian mafia story, because my shirts off they're, like tissue yeah and in like in terms of what let's say, someone scroll through the channels hotel and they come across the special and your shirts up use europe we'll do that. Just talk on stage the mike they may be like next. These targets whether you like well, what's this like you'll stop, in light of the hand, as I guess we're, ok what Why is assured off? This is nuts salmon, but it was always elements of its other thing. I would say that I was done zone specials is like was I come not enough? other a voice like? I know that for me Is that, like out of I don't even I am. I know that I I only told I think it's funny yet broken it. There's a lot of people that why funny people and then go that's how you be funny. The people who are our funny? You know like it's an interesting

how many years back prior to starting suitably think someone needs to have been funny. to to almost I know that they're going to develop like their own voice, say that again yeah, even when I said I was like what do you mean by that you don't sound like most comics. I feel like that. You talked to you go like yeah. Was the funny kid here here or whatever, but like summer, like yeah, I mean I like you don't. The uncle was telling us one boy that he was like funny subtly, like with his friends where he would just say things kind of sarcastically and like pepper man, but he wasn't like now. fuck you over the head, like class clown type. When he saw like how much about do you think somebody has to be to to think that they're going to have like a really do you need voice later later. As a stand up, why think I don't think like that Someone like Todd Barry was the funniest guy in the class right right, like there's going to be john beamer. Who is one of the funniest guys I ever met and he tried.

Set up. He was really bad at it. It was war doorstep. I've ever seen, but whose affronted you're off stage it very funny, he's very smart and he could have been a great writer having a lot of people. Can he's themselves, with being a good writers as being in a standard yet, and then I think, a lot of users, we're being would stand up when it could have been a good actor like like They maybe don't like I got into this in the last podcast and I'm sure we all will have regretted it when it comes out. So I'm sure we'll take it the wrong way. really understand comics, you don't write thrown hours like I know I don't get someone just goes now what team writers at rights by our night form it. But what then we almost always just go? I go. I get having people. they're like bounds ideas off of it. I don't know amount, would like tag a different represented, but look

we just have a team of writers, sit back and then send back a joke and go like oh. This is what I'm going to say tonight like that will work yeah that would work yeah. So what you're just a good connoisseur of calm, yeah yeah, I guess what I can find stuff funny too. How can your fucking audiences, like I dunno that just bothers me? and by the way, and either are really popular people that I like, and I and I am a fan of- and I was a fan of them- the shit they wrote, but then it just got to watch, maybe I'll. Hopefully I get to that. place where someone's like bert hears. You knew our and I just recited and I make twenty million dollars yeah, but it would be great, but I will never do that personally. Yeah, like I won't even take tags from people like there was this or this joke. Don't I talk about. I can't remember mine, it's still exhibiting, say a pupil semi tag better than the one that but like, but like I was the end of the story that the story at about going to basketball camp? as a kid I needed ending

I don't have an ending, but by the way that's why enjoy about comedy is fit. When I figure The ending of europe of myself yeah, I did it, you did it well, it's my piece of art. It's the difference between buying a lego set and someone builds it for you and then just hands it to say, hey I play play with his legos, exactly where you're like well. No, but if you build the lego set, it's like no. I accomplish this. I built this was more of a lincoln logs guy. Well, how dare you people always say that machine's story? True and I go yeah, but that's not the thing you should, impressive, get the things the impressive balance that I spent four years working on it, so that you liked it yet like yet true, but if I remember telling it when it was still true, but not funny, right, like the people are suno, is such an epoch. Soil rather does go like it just happened. You remembered it. You said it right to equal is great story. You're lucky you had your lucky. Were there you, like no man, you're lucky

if I can remember all the beads and was able to fine tune it yet, and I think a lot I think, a lot of people like til comics, like oh you're, so funny you create stuff, and I go no or just storytellers like you. repression is head crazy. Funny stories happen them, but not One can like then tell that story in an entertaining way or sat with the guy. I want, or I won't name him. I know he wouldn't have a problem with me, naming him. I'm sure he'd say this, but I won't do it. That's cool the carter for the bachelor boys. You got it. Your wildlife and I m really good story and he was more time telling it and he's gonna tell it for something there, and we were friends and an affront. Really friends, his agent and his agents like, would you I dunno how it came out. Lives like. I think I might offered us a you know. If you won't come over, the man gave him. Have you destroy our up? You because I, I can very easily here a story I was thinking doing this. The park by the way Let me tell your story: we get people have greater,

they come in and they tell the story to me and then I tell in a minute storied, it's really funny, I'm gonna give it to them and that they can take it out. So I like give someone enact essential idea, so, by the way I have the audio of only because we are doing this for his benefit. The we pulled the podcast mike's out and I sit down your story. I and I said and slowly. I wanna hear every detail and any start you'd. Watch him tell it the way on onstage. Then I'd stop and I go. We would we tell me about this aspect and then you tell me that aspect and I go we. What would happen then, and he tell me- and I go- that's fucking amazing so that he tells it to me for about an hour fifteen minutes, and then I go sit down. Let me tell you a story, so I told the authority mike, I saw sending this audio and then just go. through my story and whatever you attach to put in your own words. What are we going to do yeah and if you want to recite it, it's your story. I didn't. I didn't fucking write the story. I can just tell you what's good and what's interesting as a listener, and so I told

the story back in and he was and what the thing it eddie that very very well at and he was like extremely grateful and I was like do I do it? Any data. What can a week. I know it's, I remember we are told me story, one time in passing and also Tom that is the greatest story of I fucking relief. I was like yeah, I got to tell it, but you've got to end it. This way he's like oh yeah, and then he told it. You, don't wanna told specials, but that's the difference. that's what you're rogan tommy's I've got a friend of europe and friend doesn't go the rats. I don't go. I did that for them. The friend goes, I mean I just did that for tom, but that friend forever and by the way we all know he's fat yeah but like a true photos, but you've got something greater. You need to work on, it did for me and the machine story. You said that, swimming. You need to work on it. No, no! No! No! No! No! No! This is what you do for a living. You gotta, do it you gotta, do it

like tat sort of friend as he inspires you to work harder? It is incredible when you get some way with a second set ears on some cause is like asking those questions and continuing to peel back on a story I feel it is is. I have to do when it happened to you, because you're only thinking of certain but like what like to give to the person that you're trying to say about that, and you ask questions that you're, just not thinking of because it so you're so attached to it that you just I dunno not able to step back and look at every with the whole map together right and I think also especially for a comic you don't hear. The people in the audience sometimes grown are not something you say like I used to have Do Grego. Relations, so because you you got you find out of here battle by doing stuff you'd never do in a marriage.

If you go well, let's go out to a movie: let's have sex, let's dance, let's have cocktails it's bogus dinner when you're married. If they don't do that shit anymore, I said what I think you should do is find that'd be like someone is going to tell you, go to the a s, p c, a and adopt a dog and then drive fifty miles out of town and kill. That dog, like all I heard, were the fucking sicko yeah. The thing is there: I yeah, like murdering his murdering the dog yeah, I think get rid the body if you guys can then go to Buca di beppo and enjoy the family style ravioli yeah yeah, but I think it's really valuable oversight or is the best the advice one guy. If they were like hey, We have already direct my special and just go I directed Are you also sit with me? He's very he's likely

they're, both fucking brutal. He lives that talks now like it and you like what are its, what you gotta understand is why not know better than that cannot really. I didn't give a new yorkers frankly trying to please him so much that yo yo yo become a kind of desperate, then they get creative and your fuckin fix it. Man. I am a wife watch my hour from next special this week it was like I like it and the whole thing I go, she goes well, it just does all the math I go big with all the materials you could hear all of it and then tell me what you liked she goes. Oh, oh, I was just like how come it doesn't flow like the last special I go because I'm not fucking perfect. It. Yet that's what I do two months out is I find the rhythm and how to do it, but I need the jokes first The turks are there and I was like Could you not be such a forget it? It's so weird, because of them. This, too were of a lake

add friends or my fiance recently like watching new bit I come to them. Are your hey? What's thing that they give me there on his opinions like now, wrong idiotic, its boldly a dynamic europe for asking. If they know I just want to hear you say it's good That's all I wanted and that's on me cause. I don't really want the actual criticism. I want to do that story thing with you with a story of mine that makes it it was soon, as you said, that a trigger, like I'm sorry well, so I just wanna hear that I've never done it on stage once actually, and actually I taught two cigarettes when they were talking about. There may be doing the jam again and I was like here's the story again. I don't think so. Yeah, Can I tell you, I just had an epiphany last night. What had I want to do? I wanted me in order to do the blues brothers shared values and I just texted jobs out of myers last night because we're doing the crews,

impractical jokers yum yeah, that's sounds was like hey. Are you there going to do the blues brothers and he was like? Are you won't do the the the and how many jelly go he'll do with me. I was like I'll get him to do it. It's not fucking question two of these last night, isn't it great when you have an epiphany the other way. What do you constitutes an epiphany? Is this a good idea, hyperbole, grilled cheese and cereal together, say yeah that all day it makes you feel good and I one of my abilities was making a combos nachos What combos amid nachos out of them. I was like this is a fucking. Do you do and where do you I mean? Do you just keep that inside for like a a part, what what has to be so overwhelming that you're, like I got to share this with somebody now? Where do you keep activities to yourself, know that I have a big problem with that so like? If I have a really great idea, if I do something I really like I have one, hard time sitting I needed to get out immediately. So, like that's my biggest problem with editing, shorts or videos. Right now is some,

I'll shoot them and I'm sorry how did you get them out of afraid several do the exact the thing about four seconds before me right, I don't think it. So I got the idea of working lives. Put my dick all over my house, nice shit. I know I was like. I love waking up, my family's home around my house, but my dick on everything, and then you hear like I go round. I go like this able and then I smack its its port tenderloin blessing important. You can see it in the shot years. Here it is here. It sounds like a dick, but I like an idiot, did you test out other meats like salami? What does the best dicks out? If I was eighty airing dick slapping on furniture, goodwill, port tenderloin, there you go, I will not open the refrigerator or pork tenderloin and I was like I was like. Oh I bet I could slap bedroom and then I was like oh, but I thought I was like are going to do a promo video I'll just do that great and so on, but yeah I want to get it out immediately. Like I think I tested cigarettes, I was like I was like fuck. Was it

The man was a tumbler sell tickets and he's really sell tickets like he pointed out. A year out from like starring in his own movie, if he wants to join us like I'm, will write a petticoat. For us and those I'll, give it a tom he'll, do as one it'll be a hit and then That's movie Nobody other army would be movies, are like I'm doing a movie I don't want to I'd, want to do a movie that I got to do you know what I mean yeah, but I don't really fucking audition for movies it'll be Tom cruise going to be breaking meyer. Don't know report. Something rather more complete opposition is gonna, be it'd be like you want to be supporting comedic friend. No, I you know, I don't really know. I think that's my problem. My career, I know is, I told Do television anymore Tom Wilkinson who's that great actor?

Those are all to be read actor guess what have been a lot of stuff but like exactly be warlike who and then you see, I'm in your area Would you want be the that they go like oh yeah bros? In that? No Sally feels? No, just one hundred cigarettes, I figure blowing this out of proportion. Think I just like. I think what I would want to do is. I would want her right eye, but I want to be more like a dan Ackroyd like I would want eg, lv and then for myself and then do it puts prevention friends and make some is really fun? Yes, go like today, it's, I was if I could open a movie with me in time when I open it. So what the deuce write them buddy comedy, but I'm not gonna have a plot in mind I want to start writing it and then just see where it takes me nice. So there like the opening scene will be me. and tom waking up in bed together. and then him go I'm in and then him looking at meeting on again and I go

am sorry man and he's like you. Gotta stop doing this and I was like a like, and I was like I'm just do the dialogue and then make ridden thought apply apply. I got drunk in sub walk in his bed yet knows where we brothers and then he's like he's you're lucky. It's me you don't. I got, I like just like writing it yeah, and then I will. What to do I want to do is scripted sick come. I am doing one right now, but I dont know. You're going to be honestly, I really miss doing like a travel channel stuff, but yeah. I want to do it anymore, yep. Well, I mean that would allow the freedom of experience in your honest reaction to it like it's not like a thing we're. Yet we have the right the experience and the reaction to it and everything and then have to stick to that is just a future in it like there's no money, they can't eat the badal. They don't have enough money to pay me to do like not being like a dick but like the old where that is beneficial, for you is, if you're not making money on the road is a comic, then it it makes sense, but

the amount of time you work for them. Tiny work for like well, you're paid its. It actually ends up they being a wash your work as much as a cameraman yeah.

but you're not going to fuck wow too soon. Do you know what here at the catatonic hillary telling your story all right so sophomore year of college, the price is right. I get out to l a when I was a kid I had. A few dreams are particularly get me started. Yet when I was a kid, I had a few dreams, alright be in the n b, a b and ninja turtle be a contestant on the price. Is right. Ninja turtle didn't happen for obvious reasons: mb a jewish, no jews in the mba, I'm a little bit about that price is right. I'm like oh, that seems like somewhat feasible. I get to l a sophomore college fraternity, a pie when the kid in our house is like Hey prices right day, we're going to go the prices right, everyone's, like bulkier, we get there at like nine am and it was like sweet. I mean kegs weed were all fucked up. We get there like ten. Am you don't go in until like two and the tapings at four? We are fucked, ok, dude, twenty and by the way, is the the the prime time prices right shows so was on another. Eleven am at eight p m at night, Bob barker, still hosting and the prize, it's million dollar price is right. So in the first opening contestants row instead of like dinette sets and pool tables, you know it's like escalades and trips step back and you know bahamas back in alaska, like it. The the country yeah at the same time extravagant prizes really like the idea that you guys got you guys, pre partied, for a show not not aware at what time it shot yet yeah it was. We were at the bathtub way too early and apparently, if you go with twenty or more people, you're guaranteed one person to get called and the contestants row real.

Twenty or more like. I don't know why we are trying to like. That means. The comedy store comics after all, go down dude, it's yen, price, right the energy and that show is like. I can only imagine comparable to, like you know, a super bowl game winning drive or like an Oprah taping or like I love the same sentence. Some like really like some reliever bowl with an oprah taping yeah Daniel Craig Montell yeah. It was a great experience seeing Julia roberts looking at belts at a party. So so you know our bodies like. Let's go, we get twenty guys when we go there and we're all fucked up and the the the contestant and interview process as you go through and they have three producers at the end when you're about to go in and they ask you one question, so it's like: what's your name, why do you want to be on the price is right leg? Are you excited to meet bob barker so stupid, which ones the price is right

the prices raw barker, oh yeah, one dollar writers come on come on deregulation, iconic catchphrase in so as you one question so world through raw fucked up tonight I mean I don't even like it's you we're all going through my buddy Jeff Niemann gets up and everyone's ike in what you are if the price is right, I'd been watching. Since I was a kid. You know a great move along right like well. What do you want like we're going to be on the price is right. I would love a new car. I knew you guys would love this. I would love to get a car here because you know would have a new car, because, right now my cousin fucking great story sucks. Nobody driven him. He gets up. This can become squirrel fetus because he looked like dirty was like this really think. You need to explain that you got it it's. The visual explains itself squirrel feeder do when he had superhighway like snacks like a squirrel, and he just

anyways. You look like if this, so we are trying to get the kind of thirty and then we are going to do all these. There now he's a great did so we get through and they go. Why do you want to be on the price right away? four daubeny pauses, burps and ngos and suck bob backers thick and they'll parking now, and I just didn't want any of the rest of us. Like answer any questions we all go in there. Ah fuck the other person like the coroner

go through the entire taping, and you know it's just amazing prizes again like trips like cars. Boats, like you, know everything you, like you know a grilled cheese maker that jack you off in the shower. Just like things, you can't even fathom being an actual price or name's crystal yeah, and so we so we get up there and our buddy gets called at the very end. So we have one chance he's the last contestant that's able to to to to get called down and we're like he has one chance to get caught up, and you know it's some. You know a bunch of jews trying to help me with uprising game. My job kind of writes itself, like he's teacher he turns around, were also parked up and it was like some like you know, trip or whatever, and he turns around a world like that, since eighty seven everyone screaming and like he's like whitewash arab again area and everyone can tell her village, oh yeah, he was doing that dude. It was like de bucket max fucking shut up at what do you think it is and we're all jan shit out, and then we couldn't be more perfect. Oh yeah, cobb rabbi. How much is it you know, and so we ask that our president or our prices and finally gets he turns around and he says whatever it was and we all scream together in unison. It was the funniest thing ever he was like seven. Eighty seven, we were just like fuck yeah, you know and then there's this tiny korean woman who'd been up there since the fucking get go and she was out of a movie dude. She turned around and Baba goes like I ride in our wagon and she had a very I remember, a very un korean name. It was just like alright, daphne, like what's your. What's your your pride, your your prize and she turned around and looked at us and

we were all just like it. Just was so quiet and it was just so ominous as you turned back to barbers euros, one dollar and we were like dude folk wagner, freaked out fighting words. We were so fucked up some sabotaged shit that how much with a bubblegum at your convenience store one that did, and so she wins. She goes out there and we're all freaking out and my buddies like he sits back down a world like that. What a waste of a day and I'm sitting there am, and it's a showcase showdown. Now it's between this old old lady in a big black dude named drone and forget that and we're sitting there and I was a little wasted asian lady. No,

make it a white lady and a big black dude writes like six five, you don't one dollar, someone the know she was out, she lost, she couldn't spin the wheel and it was like invite. That's on you, do more pushups and and so to prep. For that shit yeah! That's why I can't go in the price is right because it'd be a good fucking. Well, not with that attitude. We've got to get you on that yeah. I wonder what would they do? I would have Adam lift me up, and then I grabbed the wheel and then Adam would drop me an actual words or just spit all right. Okay, now we're gonna figure out how to make that happen yeah. So so he suspected my buddies like a monk. What a wasted day and I go, how do we make this memorable? You know like when we sat for hours, we sat, we had one opportunity and he was like you should rush the stage during the showcase showdown and I'm like to know. Okay, you know and so look at it image convincing as we were sitting there and it's again, I'm like, but I'm gonna be completely out of place is also the white lady. Probably her all her golden girls are coming up being like him again. We can finally go to france or whatever and then the big black dude, I'm like I dunno. What his entourage is looks like, but not like me, fucked up jewish guy, so he wins and I'm like my buddy pushes me out of my chair. I run down the aisle and I had a moment where I was like this is MIKE come on down moment, so I fucking do a crazy little celebration. I'd do a fucking double dick thing. I never done this you're like double deck, and I do that and I fucking like that and I'm like hell, yeah you're screaming just to like feel what it was like to come on down and I get to the bottom of the stairs and the stage you walk upstairs and there's a security guard. You can't see on tv standing at the top of the stairs and she goes. What are you doing and I go that's my best friend in the whole world? That's all it took and she was like I learned pastor. So now mahogany emraan dude, I'm working, I'm hugging him and his friends. I sat in his escalate and I started legs doing the wheel thing where you're, like you know the people when they win a car, they sit in their going now. I can drive it, you know and I'm like and I'm hugging him and his and and in one point I started rubbing his head and he just looked down. He goes. He was with the vulgar you this amongst all the hysteria people screaming and Babar. You know, and I was like I just rushed the stage that gets broken do or that congrats man like if you need a plus one for your trip, you know and and then Bob Barker at the very end is doing his. You know like remember, to cut off your dogs glitch in the exit we get them. Spayed neutered and I started doing a robot behind them like this. Looking and and all my buddies were screaming and then and as I'm walking off and I just looked up- and I was like bob, but he turned to me and I gave him like a fucking eighties beach cop, like double gun couple, I go, fucking see a man and he just like shook his head turned around and yeah I mean it was. He must that was the subtext too, but like he shook his head at me and, like I remember being so light

I got back and I was like you know the end of the night, we're back at the frat party bringing it down, and I was like yeah man. Bob like shook his head enemies, so disapprovingly leg. such a bummer, but enough? Oh, he d take his head disapprovingly yeah, because I thought he was walking off Rosa Bob and I thought I dunno. What to do. I thought as far as scream his name, I didn't have a follow up plan. You thought you'd scream his name and then Bob would turn around me. Like that's my son, I never had the bug and placing ladies all the way to get that guy would come backstage. When I heard about your sets in london and how you allowed to get on stage and did Phil collins jokes, you know what I'm getting my escalate a new executive producer. Do you want to be a oh yeah that yeah? That was the dream that would be. That would be the that that was Firstly, I regret it. There was a cause. It was primes, our us friends. We also saw a video of it. Oh yeah of real IA You that ok, so what I would do tat story is. I would

the store you want to tell and show the video to accompany it like, like one of the greatest he like bright break down the game. Film like this is John madden style that would be fucking, brilliant, so I'd tell the story by wouldn't I would lead It is a lot of I mean, there's so many there's a lot of information. The conniving can be trimmed. I need you realize you realize That would be. An amazing story. Tells you grab a multimedia experience where you have a video did you tell the story for you to all the build up? and then you go and then you say, and then is why then it goes up against. I know your father wins, but but I'm I'm still I was right, this is my dream. This is one of my three dream. There was, but I'm not the one. The price is right. So black. I went with the escalating. The trip was mcgraw, not only the rest,

speak for itself, and then you cut. Do you double dick and that but cut it together? So you just see all the history of you. You bag go and then then you visa, only you can make it happen. Then yeah go the best part actually got to talk about marker this isn't a video but suffice to say I wasn't a fan of my double decker. I I I love that I love the. I told the story, one time for trousers on this guy today can too, talking to someone I can't really say, but I was I was commiserating yeah. We got it with a friend who we both it's a really hard explain, gimmick man, ok, We understand so by carefully, because I know that people who travel to analyse it as the eurostar dynamic illegal- oh my god,

what that's what's happening? The camera lugosi got general. So are is guy no sane. We did the same all of fronts of runs away. You do three men presentation is as a talent, some two minutes and you just say about your new series or what's goin on and so I was his comic an end being able to have access to the media. We just want to talk about the rebooted worth conquer and just view destroy them go with, and what are you know it yeah? Do I have a great story about my a couple jokes about eyeless was, I got open with them and then itself for a ride with island anna, and I read this We have a picture of her and a picture of sir on accelerator. It not very farms and her faces if it's a really funny face, why go I'll tell the story? free and then, as I carefully new, tell me troubling the president of all scripts brass cross border. I go you say, that's great.

Did you get the picture and I go? Are you kidding me that I get the picture c'mon? This is gonna, be played at our wedding and I showed the picture and it fucking destroyed. it destroyed so far that the next up for I went to their like. Can you not tell us worry because the arrows a hard time telling stories that didn't say that exactly they just said, you're not tell your story because message receiving yeah, like guy fieri, would say this. He got up and he was like fuck, that's great. The problem is in fact the one you Jarvan drew like cod bert. I wanted. I wouldn't like that like everyone reference that story but to have footage of the EP wood is such a power were moved up at them, the more outrageous you make the story, the more the

off is when you see you double dick in it and run down and get neurons idleness. Am I mean there could be video me double degen, but only a video of me onstage undermine the robot behind bars where all the actors at a set of ideas, the proof. So that's why I must do. I look like because it they're about a story. I think that most people think that has comics we make them through, or you know what the universal studios as will reign for four years and people when I used it just be again like a stable, my material, because it was all I was doing a new and who will be like do like a crazy. What are waiting for you to make up and I was like- why would I made that up and iraq Does that, unlike idea, man was gonna fuckin, what they see the thing This is a little matter for this podcast. I think what, the comics. I really like happen of a big. have another two into podcasting, MR, what they They derive their immature. based on reality like their allotted comics. It don't do

any broadcasts, it will tell outrageous phantasmal stores it didn't happen. As a finn, I detached they were I go. That's I understand I you can understand. There is like I dont use examples, but I understand that that is, funny, but yet, but it did clearly kidnappings, it's impossible that that happen. Given you and you say, that you know it's possible that it's a stretch of the imagination that yeah not dedicated, doesn't reveal anything about your feelings about you and I don't really care about the story because it didn't happen yeah. So I could make up really great story. I am, I guess I could is like the one of them. People said about trade, more history when he was like trees more than that, for that happen like go. Ok sure you're telling me on that good.

I couldn't make up and why would you out of all the people that know no offense to tracy at all, but like interface? For me, I go. Why would I pick tracy morgan yeah? I could have easily picked Michael. it's. Why pot party with all the time yep I could pick donald rollins. I could pick twenty woods. I could pick any cant yeah it doesn't matter. No one knew. Tracy was as while does he was when that happened. Now, when I started telling it people in, mobility is while, by the way the I would be an amazing story tat if I could make that a reality, Above all, it would be much bigger than I am only a handful of stories and that's just great it's rapidly like, but that's the thing I like about, like When you see someone like a christmas, It is when he tells you the outer you go like that like near and the when he tells a story about job, not that window the reason I like it is because that's a real store really after apnoea, and I want to hear that Jim jefferies is a great storyteller now I think I would never. All Jim. On this, I will allow him.

the right as a as it as an artist to add little extra to make the story makes the yes and if he was a stretcher truth tat bit, which I think he has done, but I will call them on that, because I've done it to you you're there as long as stories it loves. It holds true that happened yeah and I'm only talking about one story in particular where where someone was like, you know that that the important ever happen and lego doesn't fucking matter. It's a great fucking story, all everything else, because of that everything else happened. Yet there is a great fucking story: yeah yeah there there there's parts of my act where, like you said that the story happened, then the real, ending. Isn't that right,

and so you just go okay. What it would have been awesome if this was the ending, so it's still a real experience. I think it'll happen to you. You're still telling it from a place of honesty up at least a part of the job right to like take. I mean comedic liberties and, like some things and most of the time I mean I don't have them right here by picture, so the gangsters from russia. Do you really outcome? There are so few harmony. I guarantee you gonna, be let down We all know well because you know, because we've built them up to something like yeah, like I'm picturing zhang gif from street fighter. Two like ass lightly, there's gonna, be like when I met iron ziering I just I don't I've gotta, be way good and evil the shark nato, when you meet hope, there's one,

shut, the fuck up there, and these are russian mobsters. I one of them was an extra in the sand lot. But it is, I got nowhere is totally are impressive yeah the big shades like they can't tell. If, like you hear mafia, you think they're gonna be a nine thousand dollar gucci suits yeah, yeah and they in thank you movies for ruining their and they just look like they're about a girl. I do not know. I'm not only look like this. Actually the dude in the middle. You had this one, oh yeah, but you would post, but in the rush, even image, look russian! I don't even know what they're drinking but I'll show you a picture of me. The second I found out that I was getting away with robbing the train. Camera that point this. and these are all posted on facebook. Under the hey this hour, he killed a ship.

Is this not israel, guys, like they're they're, posing unlike a j c penny like dad's catalogue by the way, literature that girlfriend play with their body, then fucker, but totally its use and great what little fucking arm wrestling mafia about. Not and these guys are like smile and for these photos? They're coming soon have sole. Wasn't phones back here. That's insane, but we disagree. teach her Helen hunt doesn't like right. You, structural stuck together. This can't be good. Women start jerking off in your russian mafia, tailored to have a picture of me. The second aspect I got away with robbing the train, Would you like to arm wrestler russian mafia dude, dividend arm wrestling. A non russian mafia? Here we go right:

The bandana is a big move by the way. Let's get it says gangsters all over the second I found out, I got away with robbing the train. You are oh man, we see the The look on your face is just like no shit. Do that. Why haven't you blown that up black and white style and like put it up or somewhere? This is me on the train, so like there's, a sidebar to this story of of when we. we're on the train, and I was like I'm. I need to go to bed there like to stay awake and they grow by the tournament stuck me out the window. but in what is called the ship. I immediately and we kept sticking our faces out the window flying down the footwork flying the embryo I get, then I had carried stolen everyone's camera, but I had my camera. If we stole pictures of me figure my head out the thing easy

dude, it is allowable slam and fuckin body was her name or I don't say that on the podcast or yeah sure, why not yeah, but it looked her up. It kind of like like like this gangster in his face. flannels you're a little bit like her told you look like one of TIM Allen's neighbours but but like you, but I would but then you built that story up to be so everything I'll say, like you know not by the nazi like deconstruct story, but but I myself. I allowed myself the opportunity as a storyteller to heighten moments by I'll telling you things or by telling you too much things too Oh brad or to under add not lie. I will allow me to heighten the moment, and so I don't have a problem with that. I dunno the problem. Look, Only problem storytelling is one is. When I go. This never happened ball then I go. I can't trust you later

So then the real emotions you're also going to be feeling on stage are those also may eventually. Yes, I got some of those special needs, brother and everyone we like wow, it, a bunch of jokes especially his brother, right. I was really brave, even if it wasn't like what why does everyone working so I figured montalembert. like you feel betrayed then you're like a young. like to be the Yet do that now I had a joke one time, but this fight at mixed up to stories. About a fight tat I was really in verse is a fight that I had seen, and I did very well. I was very young and then I'd I'd weaved it through this,

this song spo, the ot to publishes- was so so good podio, the delicious for my child's middle name, and I have taken lyrics from that song bodie for sure and add into the story except it made it fun, but I'd just as well do so. I told the store, is a really great thought his story and then I go. nah stage and this guy come up cannot mean he goes to that's amazing story, your thanks! It is a joy, you know I'm I made it up and he laughed. Watched his eyes. Fucking follow party was like for real. It is a co and he just walked away, didn't, say anything else. Whoa, you literally just that's the adult version of finding out. There's no santa claus yeah it is. in a comic says they were that, unlike

yeah he's like rabbi of the jewish, isn't one of the largest, but as a rabbi, he'll he'll catch up, but yet, you like that, like some so something that you were so into answer dead. It's like whenever you see a movie that says like based on a true story, never or go online and find out what that truly is ten years. It's going to hurt. Your fingers is totally made up Harry Harry and the hendersons, hey guess what John Lithgow didn't find a bigfoot hate to break it to you so depressing. Well, that's the interesting thing. Why is? It we can watch Harry and the hendersons and enjoy it Ok, first of you watch you watch was the one about: kyle, grew knockout rooms and he's a comic kyle sees no Well, can a no carol title caught the the fucking american sniper, oh chris, Cao Cao yeah, and then, if we use a,

yeah, you find the way that that that was bert, saying oh shit backwards. You'd say that's awesome. What angelina Jolie said when she found out she had bell's palsy, but like Chris Kyle, that was I guess that was a manufactured story. Some of the parts now the idle hands like The key was ended in infantry. He just was like a guy that worked on cars, and now yeah easy. I would like, and then you go you're not allowed to do that, like writing, and that is a truce league. You and your saying it's a true story. Hidden figures, the perfidious, that's my the robber lady, like I didn't even like. No, I should happen and then you go hold on hold on you. Can't create a struggle with there wasn't one right like you kid now create, by the way when they weren't. Now that's going to be the narrative like that is going to be when someone says hidden. Figures are just going to think about what happened in the movie and you know like

fellow members that either through it are like, are the people that, where the critical villains in that thing they weren't illegal, a dick then do that yeah. That's always been in movies like that. We go like. I understand that the six it is impossible, but I'll watch it. Yes, and disbelieve jurassic park with that's not true. True, are you I mean look when I first saw it. I was like oh shit, like well there's definitely like the cj was so good that I definitely was like. You know, took a second glance when I saw bushes that looked unfamiliar as like. How do I know there's not a blas rafter in there. What? What did I do? see the other Daniels. I wait, wait wait. This is green, screened, stop stopper, my mom will shoot.

With a lot that they'll get in life alone. There there's no way that they were really in new york. I was watching game of thrones last night, thrones fans. I watched twenty minutes of the first step. That's all don't tell me anything because the dragon fucked the best friend well sure yeah, yeah, yeah, and- and I guess what do you think Peter dinklage is made. I guess anyway, by the way, there's a scene in the episode one episode behind or two episodes behind. Maybe that isn't that great, it's pretty all peter dinklage is fucking awesome It's fucking awesome. How dare you he, but there's a scene where he walks by these two guys by the way, is very famous in westeros he's the they call me info. I think that in the end like he is, queens brother? Everyone knows: is mother fucker by two soldiers and they give new like a double taken. What passed them and I was like

what are you and the like first, one has got a really recognisable characteristic: shaggy hair, well yeah brad, but also wait what long shaggy hair long have you ever met him? I have nots, that's the one on the list. That's just the amount of time that is my white whale. The amount of times he's legitimate call him out on. I guess yes, no, listen! It's! It's got one. and, like I I mean you get to create twitter beef man think he would do. Do you think you'd be like uppity about it like well. I know that I know the when he went to Saturday night live. He walked in the writers' room and went no dwarf jokes That's a lot. Do I don't blame him again? has Pineau like for me. It's like you're in it How many show like that's like no, but I had. Would you do that

no absolutely not kidding me. What was that are busier, melee that I'm not going to do that. The whole point of the whole thing about you is you think you take your same as me like a working man's approach to your sense of humor like in this sense, like if people make jokes about my drink. I, my fatness or may be being whatever it's all jokes Roma friend? yeah the same jokes on stage If I wanted to set of the life and I wanna, do it a sketch about you being a fat drunk a black book and it's gonna wanna put out there I get peter dig. Lige does not put out like right. Look. He may play a person of smaller stature in a movie. The other devil college it and there are definitely not, but it is now freight or but that thing was. He was fighting we'll Farrell, who called about elf, where I was like standing up. You re not why rewrites? Oh I get it!

I understand what he's running it out, but not one sketch in may. You could be a sketch where you don't catch about trying to pitch him ideas for yeah on lp sketch like something where it's kind of like we were talking about earlier, where it's like. Well, he has an obvious characteristic and everyone's like what is. It is they're like you don't say it- it's implied yeah you It's totally done something like that. Now, I'm I'm looking to start that show and really get into it, but I'm like this. Somebody says I haven't seen so I guess I would love to know from you guys I'm either debating whether to start game of thrones or hoddan cleveland and I need to know or look we're talkin in cleveland, unfortunately has less boobs. I would have loved to have seen value more nellie and why and then we'll bury language, I'd, look

I love having something like one of the things I used to say I wish I could find. I got be rated by extra vaginal president. One time because of him rated by all them at one point that was part of the conversation I was having today, but She was saying that many hobbes, but her fortune, the glories of your listeners. You know I love you, but the way you have chickens in your backyard or hobby, that's my wife and I will have to say this. I do I've ever back a little bit. My therapist said the same thing to me, no obvious my therapist will do what no I'm a fucking comedian. yeah like like levies having a paper I go It's a habitat, yeah. Your job is to be a a husband and a father. Your hobby is that you're a comic. My my therapist goes. What hobbies do you have? I said I said I write jokes. No like that's your job, as said no really enjoy it, because nobody Ah, but also other oil deposits. Assets Bobby, and he goes on it's your job as it edit video

that's also your job. I said a write, books and scripts he's like these raw jobs, things and he goes. What do you do for fun? I go, I think I'll go age to package will talk to my friends, my friends. I go wait because job like a hobby goes. You should get into leather work. If you it is on there cedars fanny back that I made and he goes wholly something like what about leather work. I've always wanted to make like a baseball glove or something like that. Like what come from. I because one time it when I was it was really big and somebody tease you. I bet you and you can never make your own glove crusher. That will someday help review one day my glove broke, one of the brings brochure to restrict it. strong it and I had a lot of fun doing it and then what if I could make a baseball glove and also, but I could and so on, but I never and so I said I monday or some other work and my wife's like those we really good for you, but then, of course, I make that and then I go

It's all. These shows that spine or wall and little bit little okay, like ok with answers to isn't it guess. I guess I guess worrying genius yeah I've, how what the fall through his like on that idea, but you should probably do it well. I'd know about your guys last start whose like stop, because I was like who, because of you- comic, who made their own shit holy shit alone, while it due to that is something that you just its is is a process that you don't you're all if you saw it be like a fuck yeah I know is due to speak for myself. I saw that

who's, not looking after the war and that that's it take way in economic. You love do come up here, and I was thinking about. Doing was nick often makes would canoes were key for real, he does woodworking and he sells michel sallied that than the time a tom papa he prizes, pig, labors, allayed soured, oberon, delicious internal, really gonna fuck him make bread here if we are to learn his pockets. News like this Can I interest you in a loafer or a piece of bread, and I was like I'm actually a paleo bra and he's like I dunno and then I start we have now is like, and I know a lot about toward a road Not only does it untroubled tell you learn a lot about and now a lot of guys. You never need no rattles where's, your mother lode or what. But, if I was like what here's, what I'm going to do this how this my one of my hobby to be productive to my career. I'm not going to fucking do something where I'm not productive. In my career, yeah I wanted.

Bad like so wrong. Bennington had this that these numbers you get It is called that's what the fucker numbers and ends pretty cool numbers at sea, but was the listener you're so that the so like you'd give em out and like you are like, and then you are a haysbert crusher about us listener at number, twenty, two to fifty three and then they'd do they'd, say something man who's. If a granted. This sounds like a weird as bingo night. I wouldn't call it what it's called Gail Gail on the phone What time is it she's up now factor? but like so what What do I wanted to make these wallets or or something like a piece leather, something that you can carry with you? like a card yep did I I would. I would get a like up that burn in leather, and I would write

What time this guy attacks me up on the internet for being fake on birth, conquer, which is very accurate doing because the view that sometimes they set of challenges that weren't real, maybe be like the fearsome foursome challenge to ride the top four roller coasters in under an hour. It's impossible, you can't do it, and so we did it and they just can't do it. I mean we did the first ride and then the next line has an hour and a half okay. Well, there goes that challenge, and this guy was like calling me out like I was phony and I was like personal the show has been cancelled. So I was like I didn't even watch it, but then it was during the time that I was doing a lot of podcasts. and everyone summits are imposed the death squad vans and they fucking we're like that, The machine? found you and will destroy you she's guy, in this guy, like fell apart at if you like, I had a real fucking nervous breakdown say just all I want to do. Cogs numbers were out gonna make this thing send him out. Everyone make two thousand.

None of them right bingo! That's your card number! So when I saw you at a show that, like a cog number, seventy nine and mike are like well, you know when you see a fan that you go. Oh, do you been there? since day one want, but people go because they like I saw you like so much, so like I was sure to bed, then I made that we only made like a hundred of and it It was college, the machine shirts, and so I sent them out and put them up. They went on sale, so whenever I see one with a guy without I go dude you're a legit fan he's like day one brother wow. I love when I see that shirt lazy by the way of days was that gift pit. Now I'm going okay, now see bird. I'm a dwarf my legs dangle yeah, so they just swing back and forth. Delay dangle hit a ass. I can when we plant them on the grounds that it looks like it, but what about the Google images dangling there? We hide away creaked, quick, obviously, protein dwarf update.

So of course I've been has to be a weekend update sketch and now the dwarf up there. As me, my best friend for eight years is the top of your head dude, there's constantly when, when your best friend is a little person, there are things that you discover that you don't know. I feel like. I know almost everything about them and we all courts I'd, do a laker game. One time ripe, bread gets, it's a great guys were clipper fans for some reason know that the atom divine in that group that, like lakers and sonics rest in peace, the thunder now I don't have a team thanks for bringing it up, so my parents also got divorced when I was nine. Let's talk about that was that mookie blaylock great greatest name, that was almost the name of pearl jam, shut? The fuck up called the man mukhi Blaylock that the reason their album is number. What's the album know. What's the album they did that did attend it look you blaylocks number. It's called wow. It is one of the great basket names murky blaylock,

I have a son, I'm gonna call him albert mookie blaylock that mookie blaylock. This is what a great fucking kareem abdul jabbar, also a great one. Great name the only other. Mba names, renewed ball maneuverable route the agri, seven four seven minute, but by the way he always ran that problem, not manoeuvre maneuver. Did you know that fifteen percent? of people over some of the play in the nba, none of them, yet look up on my my passport camp story, Ralph sampson's guy about well story. You hate me: he like made fun of me the right here and he is not to tell the story, but using the one he gives an example of why he said so: good, a basketball.

If his focus and his discipline, it doesn't have to do with the fact you're seventy fucking for a little bit outside of that also skyrocketed to seven fine before yeah, because, finally, I can have all the discipline in the world to go around increasing my chances are that did you know that alfonso Ribeiro turned down the role of carlton on fresh, prince turned down. There are useful and I really could not just on the lights go out. Father Ribeiro gets ass. Am I, in my opinion, is anything else, elaborately related yeah. I have a problem once I like, and I shill this person in my agency, and I think they represent the person, but I was like I there here's what we see doing. We want you to do this. Won't you do that and I was like I don't fucking give a shit about fame. Like I don't care about fame to work. I mean

I'm very cool that and I like it, I like it. I like what we're going into that car dealership number one recognize me. I love it. I love that other feeling, but I don't want on dancing on the stars like I don't wanna, be like I don't care to. Famous first talented Second, I wanna be talents. Ribbons out over bur could give to fox about fain Logan. two rogan. Suddenly what time he goes, I says being famous he broken off amos famous I go, I'm kind of famous is he's a bow honour famous in honor of him as you're, not fucking famous, and I was like hold on you're really, fucking famous. You know that right and he was like nah man nah and I was like I wanna, be like that I to be like oblivious like just to grow. Work yeah, you know india seat and speaking of gray work, I looked down, brad, whimsies courts, I'd say it's right, we're sitting there will. I disagree. Sweden, the reset courts. I'd were born, of course, grazing ever and

and then also the woman comes up. She's are taken. Oars goes, alright, guys, here's the menu in order, whatever you want. It's free food friday, we're like that yet anything you want susie at a mamma? That's what I got when you're at a quarter of the laker game and take the best sushi basketball arenas. Yeah. Everyone knows the area was set aside as sushi login. You know, stipend, eaten, hotdogs and hamburgers were sitting there with like abi source in their town down just being like man. This is the best to keep coming up with more like little deals like when you buy the way you guys get to like do this in the in the bathroom right over there, instead of way over there and we're like do we get to play in the third quarter, and so then awesome we have vitamin waters and I look down and brad putting them between his feet and kicks to himself. my peripheral vision, I see him fuckin his feet. Just whip up ass if he was trying to kill himself in the face and his drink lands in his hand and in one motion catches it unscrew.

It takes a zip and goes, and I go hey man what the fuck was, that I've never seen that ever and especially in our friendship, I dunno you could do that and he goes yeah man. He goes. It's a

it gets way easier like what yeah like would like get out out of my chair, bend over grab the drink grab it throw it up to my stupid. Like communication I go. Did you teach yourself that no man I hired a dwarf since a fucking taught me the vitamin water? And it was you know, yeah, there's a yeah, it's step, one in a dwarfism that and be very aware, quench your thirst. Where have you been hit like twice three times three times? Where have you been three men twice twice twice by guards back parking lot great yeah, the audio of someone running into one another back then, and then they do it again, I'm going to cut or something but there's nothing back there, the stop drive. I hear humans what they assets me, the second one that hit me, and I

digit believe that the moderate hate crime yeah definitely probably go like. Were you driving under a bridge but it'll be today? Do you know why I'm late? You know yeah, I'm not going to have kids, though, like a woman that hit me when she got out of the car to ram a check with your car, just dover yeah, I have a strong feeling. She legit thought that I was tall.

before she hit me. What did I do yeah? How did you get your shoes on your knees so quickly or help me put them back together? Oh my god! Oh my god, three times in my life, that's amazing. I think I you think about that- has never been hit by calling me neither three times three. No, no! No! No or what's the guy from the daily show Noah trevor, our has been pull over like eighteen times lack a good idea, and I was like why, The blue eyes, like adam and pulled over a bipolar rewards, it's no way, fifteen years, no! Well how about the way it was longer than that. I just remember the last time I got pulled over fifteen years ago

yeah. How much I mean? Are you a responsible driver? Do you consider I don't really and I don't drive drunk and by the way I actually don't drive much at all, yeah like I, I take ubers everywhere. This car is going to cut in that fucking uber budget. all right. That's you look really, though, not the linking continental cause. I was like. I was like I'll get the us like. I want to be like an old man. I want an old man, car yeah, but it's really a cool car. It really is a great car but I don't remember here, you know me we're never out. So I said to my wife: we went did that this then she goes drive by Bmw see what they have cool and I went and sat in that car- and I was like I was like this- is really spacious- is a really great car and my wife's like I would drive this all the time, and so I was like why can't buy the car that I want and it just sit there they wasting money. Yet another course we both want. I want that, would do and then we'll just share, but she wanted cheaper version and, nah

I was away on a roll that way I was like. Are you buy? It do buy the used one? No, like does that show up in the? carfax, like this car, ran over a midget one time. Oh my god, you with your forehead. You are a used car lot. You're like I dunno about that car and they look you. When you ran over a midget one time the cars they once talked about on stage, I don't, what are you shitting me? I don't. I used to have a bit like I used to sell a T. Shirt at the anime shows that had me on a road sense that I break for little people, but that was we got. That was it. The third topic. I buy a car at the cincinnati airport, that's actually in kentucky and then, This guy was walking into the road and he had his headphones he didn't hear a bus. That was and he was walking like right, the bus, so I want

words is do a job I shall find out where the bus and then the boy, it's me, then I feel, I did get hit in the hip, and then I flew over the air, digital helicopter thing and then landed on the ground. Then the guy like looked up. Look behind them saw that lay a midget adjust save his life? Oh my god braggin! You know it's a crazy. I mean I need to your right there's so funny. You know the first time I asked I re understood: there is like aiming to mistreat behind lp brenner driving back legion, throw them when we first became friends right now and dying to talk to you guys before that. Not just on these programmes ought to us about the scene when you guys started but keep going apologize, yeah, whoa whoa. This was the transition right into that, so we're driving back from San Jose. I think our pleasanton, like tommy tommy, t's and pleasant and keller, were driving back and- and you know it's a long. Five and a half hour drive or whatever and were shooting the shit. Whenever I remember it's a four lane highway and also in a pt cruiser I'd, say about I dunno two

three hundred feet in front of us. That way too much, maybe seventy five feet and if one were to shoot the shit about whatever been a YE may know him. I would love to inhabit three symptoms that ye may so do at bug. Have you always been in dwarf? Have you always been a joke? You just doesn't get to know you shit and just start like painful, each other get to know each other and and so a pt cruiser all of a sudden. Recently a prop comic. Then somebody told me: you gotta, mix up your game right, so a pt cruiser. Also, we see in front of us and also just flips. It flip It like a rose airlines. I've never seen a car, Even the movies you like they pull? That's done off your you, don't because it was real, live dude. Pity cruiser pity crucial for lanes. Flips boom boom boom boom, ditch and

just pause over instinctively like just like we, I gotta, which, by the way, what the fuck good idea. What do you think you are really going to do in that moment? You know how bad it can experience that a letter, so he pulls over and I was like holy shit with zebra like holy shit, holy shit and then we both kind of feeling each other out like who's, going to make the first like decisive, move of like what we should do now cause he pulled over, so it was almost like now. What now out of our I pulled over, you may then of europe. Your move, like we also outlaws like I've made. I go yo you go. You were across the sea there, okay and call number one and like a because, like I got a phone like you know his wrist brackets, it was charging and I go you run across, like you know, like you running across the street, is going to be. That's gonna be great, that people will see that the humor across the street and then all sudden, the woman runs to the back of her car and we're like. Oh shit, goes about car like very well

with an immediacy of like she's checking on a kid. You know he was back there. She opened the door, and she took on a kid they possibly can be. Who knows decapitated crushed and gradually across slovo, baywatch style, fuck and is spreading, is tragic and across the freeway across the freeway by the way and this woman I've. Yet, and this woman like, and again, because when I was like our dude, the falcon mystique behind l is next level she's check on a possibly dead kid, and does it

will take and before I'm watching them on the phone going over one before she can totally pull the kid out or reach for it. She looks up and sees bread and then does a double take and then stops and looks at him. Like. Oh shit, look at it like that's, not something you see everyday nato and then we started I bought were like. Did you think it was like the vulcan goes to the kid running towards there being like you know my kid, the kid was fine. It was fine yeah. I want to stress that, because that and that that amazed us, because the kid came out and was actually laughing unscathed yet because the kid didn't know like the kid just went on a rollercoaster ride kid. didn't, know you're in shock, I guess yeah and yeah, and then brethren is over and it's just like is everything okay and then he was like a Jacob marley scrooge ghost as the like. Is that the guys running across the lagoon yeah, you really couldn't have said anything and they yeah. I mean yeah dwarves superhero Did you guys? So did you start the other companies? In the same time,

I started a little book for like no bullet you, it's what to do call comedy like I dunno. We started about the same time, but you're more focused on acting seven is when I again it was I you know I did maybe ten fifteen seven from o one to seven to frat parties and in london. I did like five shows in london. Two inserted is improper than two thousand and seven is when I start working in the comic store, doing phones- and I would do bringer, shows or I'm sorry it doesn't translate, so we're going to the store, and then I saw oh seven and then and then two thousand and thirteen I got passed at the store. Then that's when I the kind of just get in. Oh, you know, pass all clubs so to get like inner rotation what'd. You weren't, you gravitate too like words find your like.

I mean it was june. I mean you know. I did that. Oh that laugh at you open mic thing for a little bit, but that was so crazy. It was like sign a member. I I signed up member. It was for a three minute thing with Jamie. You do three minutes and then he would meet with you and give you advice, and I was like alright and then- and I did some joke about being a fat kid, and I did this joke, like rose like you know, been affected at its downsides, but also its perks like I was the first one in the fourth grade to get a set of tits. Like you know, a lot of my friends would like you know I would charge them five bucks to fill me up. You know. Elections like that and Jamie was like by the body. Goes, you know you're finally, finding but like you're up there being like yo suck my tits like and I'm like wait. What is our purpose? He goes to Europe they're being like yo miami's fat fuck with teddy as you know, am I again I never said any of that is I come back in six months and I tried to not say you know fat Teddy falconer mike, I may- and I guess so them that's

discourage me because I'm like six months to come back like I need to get up like tomorrow and in the store I gravitate towards, because I dunno me again, like the that there was opportunity on stage three rooms is breyer, shows an open mike and then yeah in the improvised star to show there to get stage time. The improv always felt like I always felt like the emperor was my home. I still feel like that, a little bit yeah yeah, only because that's where I started doing spec sets in the city, but right now I would say two colonies towards more my mom. I would I've never really feel comfortable, laugh factory, Jimmy's insights, always if it were a little blind, I get it lay word now is now is like you're really cool step dead. We hey you're, awesome, one of dad dish, I got out of prison yeah. I don't want to spend some time still hang out sorry about tommy. He was a piece of shit. He was a religious piece of shit,

I married the guy, so yeah was all a lot of feelings about tommy. I use a beggar me. Man like like. I went to a very like like candy no an honest you known, and you want me to park cars, I drive. A tv show makes clear areas, it's not like I'm I want to be. Like a bill tv for vulcan few years near a poor cars like I'm, not working You want me to get a job there, I'm a fucking, wiping two kids, you're out of your fucking year out of your fucking mind, and then I ask, I didn't say that any that I said apologize. I'm not going to do that and I must I must be in the wrong situation. I guess I work in the store- and I said I appreciate time up and then come back. Yes, I'm sorry Who do you think you are and I went who do? I think I am. I won't procreation and I said what do you need me to explain some new and he goes

When I tell you I'm giving you an opportunity where the store would have regional funding voice was a? U use, okay, okay and I was like I was like yeah. I remember that I'm a nationally headlining comic and I have a tv show on tv right now. I have two kids and I don't need money and I don't need spots I go. I was doing this because I respect I appreciate the store. Want worked store, but if this is how we work in store, then this because I thought it was an underwater. I've got it. If its stop up of of. Will you be a slave, as was apparent, run up there and he was like while there it's a way to get in or whatever you know, or you can't just call up and get in, and I went okay, I said look I was willing to do anything, but I'm not willing to get a job there yeah. I mean I'm, not gonna fucking take a job, no minimum wage. When I already make fucking well over six figures, what the fuck are you fucking? That's what I think that there is a disconnect with tommy where it was like he was locked.

I think he watched I mean anybody who never ear. He did plays amuse goals and in always talked about how, like I was avoided, best actor in delaware and you're. Like all right. I guess ec no enables you to have this, but he watched so much comedy that I feel like even some of you didn't ever get onstage drive to stand up like you want so much about. You probably do develop a taste or like an opinion that you feel like is maybe stronger than than others, but, like I don't know either is every favouritism? There is definitely he gonna think a little to private about like being the fucking, the gatekeeper and any store. I think he got off a little bit on on telling do that were successful. Like you gonna, like you, think you just come in my god. It's like to accord is your colleague pat miles walled yeah? What is for sure dude and you know, I think there were things about him, that he did or said that weren't completely off, but I think like deca out where, by the amount of things that he did, that, like also,

you know and look I love weed. but sometimes I I you look at somebody that smokes be like do that fucking with the way you make decisions and you think we'd get I lot and being that cover booth and some I would come after setting and look for approval and try to talk to him about things and you'll. Give me advice, and I was like dude. I the fuckin. I could have you know, I eat mushrooms and talk to a squirrel about that same shit tonight and he probably would have told me the same thing: either safe or not. Another same feelings with Jamie, but I had I had similar because we jamie that he'd you like were bought bother me about jamie, not I don't work. This laugh factory However, I would know one I just never felt comfortable there, Moreover, I do sets there and by got deal's off both Six figure deals point to the best my entire life? We watch both of them any I don't get it. I went. I just got

CBS and NBC both got it? They got out it very well. Cbs got it. I mean one of the best, that's my entire life to the store or at the laugh factory. One of the best sets my entire. If I ever forget it all? Oh, but how often do you think about that set think about why once every month, I'll think about love that you said that there yeah, like, I think, dude it's the dream set, because you know what I mean like how many cool things do we get to do in our lives that you just fucking are farts in the wind because he gets trumped by the next parts in the wind, kansas deep and unfortunately, when was the original from pocahontas there was colors of the wind. They wanted to go farts in the wind they're like no, but you know like there's it's so easy to just like move on to the next thing and forget, and it's like whether you have video or photograph evidence of it but like to remember emotionally and everything about that set of shrinking. It was the greatest it was. The greatest experience, however, acknowledge our recounted to Barry it's pack ass, my cried right because it was, it was the

Would you follow me about the happiest you've ever been on your own? Do you remember your jokes? I love you berry, but you know I shit on you. Sometimes what did you drive on the way to the show? I tell the perry the story on his podcast. I cry. I have a moment where I go. This was what you want. hollywood moments and then very goes ants. Great. Are you radio to admit you're, an alcoholic and the sad thing about this whole fucking time. Oh the food, but yeah it was great. Are you a baby as per your goals, regarding what let me tell you very briefly, the story only because it's a good hollywood. Okay, I see him showcase a dane sports in me? Really collyer. Quake scott Henry and then The couple were comic some freely the names are, there are reported, big comics. Now or whatever

what I'm forgetting their names, really quick, reno collier. I never met them or or but I just remember when I think of it here his name, I think of the of Jeff Foxworthy roast where greggs rato my a common wartime said no collier is here. I don't know who or what that is. Yeah real color was obese right, yeah dude, I mean everything I saw them. I was like oh you're, still a murder, he does it. He approaches it differently. The business differently because he does it from he does I think, I've atlanta Europe must now not only should amend all men, he was a murderer. Yup age murder and murderous regime. Yet dude, amazing, so the lineup is earth. Scott Henry earthquake next ports, and does it other than my god, so um scott Henry goes up first said rob. And it's got would admit that rough earthquake, those upstart murdering.

The one thing it's I mean it's a compliment, nix wharton has now. Report himself, situation where he could come could be compromised based on statistics. He wants to be put in a situation where he's going to do else. He knows he's going to do well, because why am I going to fuck with my money and go. followers going to be hard, but you know what I'll do it next? Next words, it is what my wife says to my daughter: either she goes you need to advocate for yourself this sports app. For himself man, I respect the fuck out of this. I wrote about this. My book, I think I wrote about nick, is at night we say no to night. Percent of things. We ve offered him and I think it made him more valuable. I think people are like von rare. How do I get nick? Unlike in next post gone after earthquake and he just goes I'm not going. And they're like what he's like, I'm not going up, I'm my phone that I'm not going up and he walks out walks out of the building, leaves he by the way, and I think it would admit this at this point is greer career. He deserved to have that kind of.

Gravitas also like that sure weight, but man I respected it feels like I wish I could find walk, walk out through model. I don't want to fucking follow earthquake either. Very cats comes out to me like papa. We ve got us jump in the line up. Do you mind following earthquakes? I was like the least I've been with very like for one year and so have would have liked to three years so like, and I had a joke. Where jack was my bert burt sex name, it was due to porn numbers. Us him inheritors acts. We are always like on fast forward. Go call me What day it may I say a black eyes, then so is it I bet it to say she call me earthquake and it'll kill. if earthquakes, murdering murdering so I go up, I do the thing comic earthquake and the fucking place goes wrong. Fourth and I cruise through an eight minutes that closing with

next thing you know: you're, storing coke off my cock, doing dick that whole circle, fuckin kathy griffin, gets on grabs me. The dog goes that was a fucking dreams that and walk off. Barry Katz shoves me says don't talk to anyone papa we're getting when a car we're getting you the fuck out of here. People are climb in overbury to talk to me, for I have a script. I probably don't want you to work on and gets me in the car and the next day I like fucking, six video holy shit, Jamie And- and god bless aiming not if you were running through Jamie, I don't think you'd, remember any of them. Honestly. I remember one time this comical. with. I think we all know who we're talking about here. Nah it was like raider radnor, yeah yeah. She was like she was like the. If you want to work at a store, you just gotta buy jamie weed when I was like what so I bought jamie weed and I went army no store, no Jim Jim,

they eat? Gad, bert you set store by human factory. What I say he said devalued on our: if you're, tommy sore and work the fat laugh factory gonna buy jamie, we bought jamie weed, I drove to the left a country such as office. I gave it to him and then he said. thirty or whatever, but it was like Yes, we are high and then just sat there and then talk and then I was like this mistake. I don't wanna work at the laugh factory ever. Can I just watch the last time you been there know. I worked there one time since I'm sense even enjoy you pass me, go call in get avails spots so I called in like it just you know. By way, this is also the haiti of dame, so you could go and then not go on states. I get that as it the case. The cards anymore. The way but remember, Tommy's earth cut dammit they are not Larry was a thing. My say out rise that same showcase and berries headroom. So did he?

Can he be passed cheerfully work here and Jimmy's like I don't know, good. I mean that a strong gauzy law runs. The light runs the light nose like I did Maybe it's gonna, live in that way. When you got a nose like music, I still want to work there. but then I go how the models like. I don't think this keeps me out. I mean I see I mean how do I I hear of like the idea that he would tape everyone set and then put it on like you didn't do that anymore, I'm with you in they Emily they ask if they don't they don't state. Every set anymore, and now it's like they, you know if they do than they say. Hey. We take this. Like, as are some from it. They send you the file, yeah I mean I dunno see, I suppose I mean I definitely subscribed to like not wanting to not have any spot. I can't go up it, but I mean I guess I understand like, and I've heard like doesn't marin have a thing with like the improv, like they sniffed and won't be on the way back when he was at hideaway. By the way, I think I think that's cutting into his money,

I know there's a lot of improv out there. I mean I just feel like fifty grand I just feel like what is it garage really worth? I mean I could make fifty Grand some of these fuckin klein know dude, and so I mean So I'm an earlier this year, I said, I said more may get past your grudge eminence it like that. I was, I respect mark way too much at all. like. I know what the fuck is going on yeah, but I didn't look up to mark, but I wish I definitely was like I dunno man, I think, there's a lot of money you're leaving on the table. I I don't even know if I said it that way. I dunno but this was not only the raises. I just bought it only ever used in luxembourg and I respect the fuck out of him and I look at him and he too, it's like a it's like a everybody. Does like a much older brother, nope yeah. No, I do love mark. He was there when I got past it that he was part of the reason I got past the seller. Let us do what a spot and those eat us having. having a drink, I wanna drink exult, drink forlorn stage, but, like I was having it, so tat when air

with him and an manny was it fuckin brain is fry. Still, the woman that runs was her brother manny. I think manikin Mosaic said mark now this guy anymore, so he's very funny, and in many watch me in the many past me and then I said to him: ass. A man is a big me moment free, but had to spend a year ago. I'd live here, but I live in it. So I won't ever called for spots wow news like really as if If this is the year go out to be living in your thrust, my life, this was the they're my gap is getting past the seller. Is it. for all this. Why you may remember any captain nemo stuff. That's what I see as the asean has, as you know, is that what you're going girls on the mind man, I do the thing that are moving very knows. What's going on at this store, yunkers I mean well a rule club with three rooms that are so vastly different. What

their club. Can you name in a world that is that it has that regional can use that has every room is so different. I mean literally no state among spied kill. Tony, like all these are not just the size of the room. It's like there's a different. I mean you know a very many. You work out right, ass, let's break it down into working out, because that's what it working out. I will say: Definitely this and the or is cardio yeah it's cardio yup, you don't enjoy it here, it's a little, exhausting at times when you, when you feel good you're doing it you're like I. That was a good one today, but a lot of you, like I know have to do that, the epp, ed wood, what I would love to go to the store, yet you play a little together like belly room and due to fucking squats yeah. That's it that other squat, the other and then the fuckin main room is a combination of both. I wouldn't say that a little more stretching and as fun as the belly room and it's not as

exhausting as yo r can be. I said the boy, rooms. More like like, like a member those when they the member, those machines are not they're, not nautilus, but they're like hammer girls like hell, yeah at the back of dances, ready hammer There is a I mean. What what room? Do you find the most rewarding like laughter wise like when, when that room explodes cosette, they all have the there's a different, reasonable. I've gotten it in the o r. Really we have, but I am I not doing the carbon store the right way, sometimes, like eight only go there to work on material tat. Go there to kill like I'll go there with an act going like I would never go do like that. There's! No! and for me to stand up mrs little problematic. I think there's no reason from stand up. If I know it works like I know, there's no.

on the road. There is I'm getting paid to do it yet, but an allay there's no purpose for me to go in and go. This is what it looks like when I kill like it. Just doesn't make any sense to me. So I go, have I don't like when you're either, because we use you see comrades, you, like all our marriage watch. Now he's never see me. So let me fuckin crush so that he knows that I am, but I got like now. I just go. I have a joke, I'm working on. I like, like our went into the or one night nose like, I was like our need to figure out these lines in this job. What's the funniest line, so I just words too. Set up to it, and then I do five like that: I like so I've joke rum. This is what this is why this is the reason I would go calling for spot from, in my opinion, joke. Where I have to roll it might I wish to say the word come at the top of her lungs and I want to say I want to say said a word. At the top of lungs like and I so what I would do

I'd come up with seven of them of that works. The best Can I just go rattler also do so applause. I grew alongside her favorite just lost collins, our lungs as you just got, done, work which also handler she's. So I can get you down the road, yeah liver, one tat. I can do that at the war I'll probably wait and I will say this and I'm not being shitty, but I do think there are a lot of people not using the ours right way Sebastian is the right way. Tissues are the right way. Are you Joe, like a lot of guys, do then Maybe it's just maybe it is being a fucking hypocrite, but, like I just look at it like it, If you just going, there are killed in you're, making it harder for people that are trying to write the write stuff. That should be it be sure you keep the room consistent, the for certain, but I watch people sometimes go up and do fake groundwork or go seriously. Why, like

don't you do comedies like I stopped if it groundwork and kill. What's the point, Is this an ego stroke or like about I'm being way shedding. Some drunk public works are being now, but you being you're being critical in the right way and in a city and almost any one to fake groundwork by ever well? I mean your girl. My way doesn't work I mean it might like get you can, also tell it's so obvious, at least from my experience like when I first started the groundwork it was, you know and- and I would watch harlan Williams when I got the hose from a few times- and I was one of the best and I would go. I go god why? How did you get so good at? He goes? You know why he goes. I was always afraid to do it, and that's what made me go? Oh, you should start doing it because you're so terrified to talk to the crowd, so he started forcing himself to do it yeah and that's how I started doing it in the end, and you know, obviously when you're first doing it you're, not listening you're, just trying to think like. I need to be funny so like when you would ask a guy something and then he starts talking back to you you're, not even listening you're. Just like alright,

it'll be funny like there's. There's silence so get a laugh. So you're like, oh really, you don't even listen. We said and you're like oh, is that why you shirts, boo you fucking bitch and then they're like what they had nothing to do with anything. I just need work. You did on the. I watched it today with the guy with no teeth Oh yeah, we'll have a genuine groundwork, thanks as genuine groundwork, that's listening in building and that took a mean losing me by the way, failing at it to get to place tour and I feel like I'm pretty good at it now, but it's like. Obviously, you can always get better, but at least I feel comfortable and a point where I've dealt with it so poorly to now I go. I trust myself, any situation I can't is not going to take over take me over. You know I should go to the o, r and d groundwork logic rates enlisting it's all. I mean, since I don't listen very well, it's that's a hundred per cent of what it is and then because you know you're funny, so so like thousands listening and then in his going, like ok. We build the moment entrusting that, even if there is an exchange of

of the thirty seconds, your minute of leg net, not funny that you're gonna come in with something because instinctively you just for the moment. You like our right, there's been enough like banter, that hasn't gotten a laugh now and you d like insert something, but I think the thing I look about the thing I of the thing I like about the store. Is it for you to step up the game? I believe, the oh, I believe the main room, I believe, the main room you can do your active. You wanted to your yet again happily. Murder and murder That's fine like, but I think the grass roots holds three hundred people. It's a show, kill, kill it devilish. I personally just my taste, I wouldn't do stuff for my last, our only cause. I go, that's not what I'm getting dr be trying to move forward yet, but I believe the alarm should be the place where we don't know cheat yourself. Could you not just to yourself cheat everyone than you know I believe that the summer, diego for the peace paper radar stuff the end cool bombing and I went so if I want

he's, he is going gay. I gotta be willing to be as bad as lucy Kay. yeah well and that- and that was my favorites in from the movie comedian, where jerry kind loses its place on stage and so in Did you see seinfeld going through the same struggles that every comet goes through because it just made me feel like? Oh, so no one's ever perfect at this year was the thing I respect chris rock and respects about chapelle is that they left cells bomb yet and I go the thing you know. I think that I will tell you this need not be issued. Towards the end like when I came out your day was the first person I ever saw my entire career that never bombed. He never bombed, he is amazing, always fucking, murdered and by the way here, taking chances like he'd have little chance of europe like it. But if you just it was fun, Fucking, have you saving anything since make incessantly just going up and destroying like that reader, redder, runner,

I look runner at times. Ninety two to ninety four was the year the runner everyone at the eight by the way, no joke. None of us If I ever get as big as read runner, I know that making fun of her fuck me. I know we're deflecting city we're we're joking around, but like now, when you stop and think about it, I know this yep. eleven shows vegas mills named cutaway. I would love to be a joke on a podcast at some point. That comes up more than once, where people like rita road and they're, like yeah sure you know, let's name, comics, that that will never be as big as probably ok. That would be a joke character, sinbad sinbad, which, by the way we just talk about some destroyers in that Paul riser. Let me know what talking about our eyes. I just bought mad about using rage. I d like to tarry failure.

Kathy griffin, minotaur veterans, that's them! He was. The rapid guy got got talent with a fuckin puppets who made twenty million dollars last year say do along outlined, dunham! Ok, let's be thus be real about this. You think any of us lever be bigger than the amazing jonathan re are, who No, I mean no, I hope so thanks, I so that think a fucking big ears blake, but if you get it like, you said you gotta, sick sitcom, going if that goes, that mean that mean anything, but if it goes yeah. I know, but I've been on tv for seven years. Tv means nothing anymore, David Hyde, pierce. You think we can all be as big as niles from Frasier greatest one of the greatest sitcoms of all time, but hey I'm going to do my damned is trying. Do you think we'll ever be TIM Allen? I know I'll, never be as big as tebow, but I've heard people's make TIM Allen slams on like what are you doing here?

I'm, a browser bring its were very real level. Yeah. Do you think any of us will we ever be bigger than ralphie may lay like no not at all. So, let's breathed out like a legit level like probable, daphne, never be as big as billboard I never will never be as big as louie chris rock crystal. expelled no one. They, I don't think so. Amazed at all will be the the that's. A pat so you can't even begin to try to emulate them. He might ok Reagan, digital murphy, ryan Chapelle For me, for me, man, you know it's like I just such a poem radio city last week. I've seen them. Maybe did you see him and radios, and indeed it was a new our there was different from the two hours he put out and I

at the blind, Barbara, which is a place in venice, which is a tiny little bar that he worked out an hour. It was different from the hour I just saw two weeks ago and I saw him in venice at that blind barber spot four months ago. The dude is on it's on level man. You know any talk about charlottesville for twenty minutes, which happened two days prior. You know radio city music, you aren't ya, you you talk about in their simple store, late night light. these trying material at radio city music gather Emily is Dave Chapelle. I knock. I say that he does have that way behind, some of the fact that, of course, would have such great material. That you're you want. Yeah. You want to be great you here. I want to hear of work or up your ipod touch. You know it said it ass. One time I got stage in it, he asked age and it was right when the

captain solely landed the boat in the thing like playing in the water like guilt, was at the time of southern. By the way that always I knew captain says I could tell him about the things like a bad children's book. This house's opening george was wound. I think there is. We should hear, plays the land, the new jersey, self funding. Those like about writing any goes. Nay, don't you have to kill until you're famous and then, once you get famous, then start writing and I was like really he was like yeah. No one knows who the fuck you are and dick. I remember saying, like you, ve, no idea how many people haven't heard of you. You have no idea another year that like when them, She's really went viral for the first time it like a million views. Guys like you, I, like everyone, knows no borders and to stop salmonella and sums no they're. Still like a

million people that haven't heard it and you're like oh yeah yeah. I guess you're right, like all of beirut, doesn't know that you've got glendale or tallahassee Nebraska. I want to tell I want to learn how to tell it in russian so that I can those viral in russia, russia. I came in Did you know a lot of great ideas that I mean the leather pocket, waller ling hadley, you had me a little while it not to quote tom cruise and jerry Maguire happier dude, yet learning that come on man, that's I mean I don't if you do the whole special russian, but maybe like that is normally lights like. Are you kidding me in front of an all russian crowd in russia? with Tom eggs. In the end, the castle of gas, the way and the furniture people that were I've just enough russian to dubai. To do a really great forty five minutes. well now you're getting to

your territory, because it is ours in english and french and german insane. he does fall out of the pigeon hole myself to one story. Those like maybe the great american stand up, but like just the fact that alley and down a bit been russian and then do it then be amazing. Just do that. In russian interests, be like I do. Do you resent me of a bird or debris on the yeah yeah they're, telling you the what I did I'm trying to think of how to say that when you retire the bit, You do it in russia than say I didn't an english version, yeah it's done if then comes colin and knock on the door I'll do it there. I was really thinking about doing something about doing it again on my next special, because there's much of it like I've, had to tell us every show. So there's so much, not new stuff in it, it's just somebody jokes inside it that I aboard telling what? If I just do it again, I don't fuck it

I guess I am not a host every one of my special I'm not opposed to that dude. Why the fuck that, but why don't just go when I was twelve years old, like the movie vulgar lessons here we go with it. If something that's like I mean you've added, you said you've added stuff to it and there's so much to it like this lack. But oh well, then, why not? What happens you're going to be like you're gonna, be like george Lucas and star wars? There's gonna be a new cut every like seven sits, seven years there it sucks. because there's parts in it now that are so much fun. We than when I first told it like there's one part where I go Can I go. I wish I had thought of this. When a earlier there I was, I had out emotionally on the story like too years ago and then told it in wrote,. and then on a special just been like that's the story, it's done. I wish I'd like now that I don't care about it, meaning like I just tell it it's just part of the where I, with a gangster, goes and foot

fuck, you we're going to fuck you in the mouth, we're going to fuck you in the ass we're going to fucking. Almost Suddenly we should now I go about fucking anybody or hold him down into the council's, or this is happening and is so much better alignment rattles. Where was that two years ago, I wasn't I writing this two years ago, as that at the end of it. Just it's. You want to tell you all that, like us, like a spinning lake data, you going you're going to tell it yeah It is constantly evolving causally changing m l. There there's signs. so models when times when someone calls out an old bit from what my old specials- and I don't remember it, but they just called it out, and I know this in your hearing of it just doesn't back there. Lemme the workers who does not as noble a global deal with similar call nor bit in us. telling it in my it'll go: oh shit. I don't remember this bit and I'll essentially have to write it again like in

moment in our usually find a new joker new taker. Numerous porter said something to me. That was pretty genius, but at once because he is a regional. last year, our these like. Why? Don't tell someone my older bits towards the end I don't I work on the new stuff then like he goes, I feel like I've, uh I've got rid of all this great stuff is really is great than I. watched him one night and he goes, you know to drop the checks these like this. If there is anyone any bit, then I told the pass I was here. I also remember some guys talk about is ok. I haven't told that in a while, by the way Chris porter's, a great storyteller yeah, he's like a legit rh to hear he and his girlfriend are my go to comic couple that me and my fiance go Juliana yeah yeah. We we we go on double dates all the time it's terroristic porter told a story that I'm not going to. I'm not going to bury

historian and tell him on the progress but advised about his dad. That was so fucking good that I was like I like dude, like so watch him more calmly, because I that's fucking amazing, but use. I'll just do orbits during the check Perhaps we are doing that. He did it the thing in the end. try to figure it out. It was funny and there were like was that area, What's going on because I'm innovate and some of these vape pens everytime, I hit them. I am getting so fucking high there that I like that. The path, cast trails, often amigo in what was I say, yeah. I know what I was saying that was most really good got it from george worth, while you can

go wrong there. The only person on it was all because he's I dunno just great with cause he's a sixty two year old guy that looks thirty, so yeah yeah there's a guy. That's only because I might be jogging a lot lately yeah. So I'm trying to keep my lungs healthier and I can paper make me. I can feel the papers You feel the papers is a great the word a place where leg had these discussions can happen like it's over I mean like I never when I first started it even knowing what we was. I never would have thought that would have been that many contraptions, or I love it me too. I love it. Yesterday we, my wife birthday, we go reference house We have a to its customs growth the upper gigabits is at an urban legend. Why, we'd stunt your growth yeah. I mean I was six two before I started smoking. He piece of shit. We we get up in the morning. We go over there to our friends, sandy's house

we have a misuse to misuses. There are I do that job deserve a lot more credit than it just got to decide, because I'm so ready for guam. Are you going to walk tomorrow? What want a moral. Why, by the weather again were to practise a missile? Do right. He told me this I go. I go. Has a friend I go. What do you do here? Did the surmount like fix his foot like you know, just a little concerned. Oh you'll, be fine I'm trying to convince myself now in view of what it always put their six months ago, I had I look around the world. Look about a global deal. What where the fuck guam was. I had no idea, they felt america. So I looked

It's a great when you discover new country, yet no shit, that's a little. Commerce must ride you like this. Why would I haven't the dwarf on ongoing wanna do stand of the at the high region. Down. There are serious military bases for tonight. I'm gonna go This is my job of light. Was the told him the deal points, but I find out for us It's not my view, but he's dead well, they know he might get fuckin blown up so they're like we're, going to really make it worth your while to hit me up I'll. Do Guam pf lunchables to see how big this

he. I know how, but how, while on the plane, how we fucking go, that would be the theater five hundred, I think wow yeah it was it's the ballroom at the hyatt regency, that's fucking great yeah me up. I'm going to go along with the drawback that I gotta move to better than singapore. Singapore hundred and twenty seven tickets sold already six hundred and fifty food I did singapore. Did you sell it out? No okay. Do we how big, how big it wasn't, the six hundred cedar? It was like a three hundred seater and it was it was. It was close but yeah as close to walk up market like singapore, if you're the

I apologize I'm not shitting on singapore to come there, but I'm just fucking around that. I get the breakdowns and it's like. I didn't move one ticket last week, and so I gotta shoots and probably go into all things comedy. You guys do with all things. How many now talk about this? Already now we haven't, we were for a minute with with aloe yeah and yeah. No, just don't sometimes things don't work out. We love our. We love. Do it! It's no love like it's not like we're at egypt it was. It was opportunities with other word, just a little bit more attention. Is aware. We were at you and I It is our bill in office. It is applied, gus net. That we're talking about yeah, but the one thing that we did. We dropped the ball. I'm on the part of this to blame as well is We didn't consolidate or advertising, the only way to indulge in for me. We didn't. We should have consolidated advertising a day, one and gotten one out sales rep and had them run.

I'd, yes, that would have made a difference serve one around the problem is you know? None of us are chris hardware, Chris Hardwicke is Probably I'm fine hobbes, you know like he's a guide as these a different type of person, and he thinks of things in a very different way, the comic, does and I'm not saying that is not a comic but he's not in it visual sense he's a little bit more about, Is this man totally he's not for lower yeah yeah? You have this new stand a more than I don't know twice a month to be a comic. Don't you gotta be anyway more that's how long a number of your comic you gotta be doing it at least at least five times a week. You also have to do in my eyes and ears from you. Absolutely. Everyone, like the clubs, are now in the big clubs in the city, but the big clubs in the country. Like I know I were I hear about the matter. The store here and there, but like never succeeded

like that's. If you you gotta go out on, I mean look, he's fucking has so much to do, but it's like maybe there's some of those nice you can. I do not find in writing. Go do one set at nine p m somewhat, just a he's, the Joe rogan. That's it it'd be like dude? Look. I rogan telling Joel mchale one night in the parking lot right in drama called seattle guy and we just met and so we're fucking jamun about a hometown shit and then they come up and start talking to them and I'm watching them being like. Oh fuckin, these two like juggernauts, just like sharing stories and whatnot and then Joe's like a is a guy. I was doing the belly room and Joe's like yea. You are trying to come by more. like a mayonnaise extravagant a family, Joel I got a family, he has two kids and then and you're like yeah, but I mean it is like. Are you ever die out gensets? He goes. You know, man, the broken down he's like upon my kids bed at eight thirty, like with them, you know and and doing the dad thing and and then I go out into my sets three for a night, sometimes tonight, five a night and then he's like how shit and he just really like laid it out to them- and I was like

I do was where there's a will. There's a way like it's up to oregon. Finds hours in the day that I don't even knew enjoy took a moment was just like yeah fuck, I guess you're right like uh, maybe I'm, but but also I mean dude. I dunno everyone's situation is different. Eg, a comic he's, a guy that I'm, not. I don't mean shit, but he's an actor he's a host I say third on the list yeah because he has a lot of other things going on. I mean he still goes out and does the casinos and stuff like that, but yeah you're right, you don't see them like. I think we're. Even now I mean no disrespect, I mean none think when he started he had the staff the occasion edison running a set like the ever wrote, comedy Just doing you just going a who's doing, super state sue presents job, ok, almost, which is dealt with

it it's great, but as a reader reading it anywhere else and by the way he probably none of us will get a speaker's job was to never never. But the truth is like he he's not he's uninspired, he's not like sitting there like like monopoly right there like the guy is around me all the time you still rock. In the note your guy got everything. Do I lost two, no books in it? I swore off it now. I email myself, everything I have. I have, I think, nonstop about material the comic, but that's what it is and, like you know, I'll I'll put it to you this way, my I had a really big day. Wonder sign sinus big deal a travel channel. on a visit, eggs producer talent. This all business. What you want and my wife we're driving on more park location. I said you must be really proud of yourself. You should really my. Why has this thing called owning your monday's so when Amy shimmers movie came out meme.

Really close with Amy Schuman, like really close at these letters, in our house and we Amy was like a little sister member states should not now be spoken here, but I put my wife or phone was like. Ah, I thought I love Amy she's like she is owning her monday and I said what he means cause she earned this Monday like what he means yours today. She didn't have to do a fucking thing, because sheep worked so hard for a year to make this movie, and then it came out. It came up big. The today she shouldn't every phone she earned this monday so about burma. earning a monday, and so this one day on this deal and it to happen Monday as she goes. I owe you your bundy, and I said yeah? I have as she goes. You must feel really proud. That said, I you know, I'm proud of most. Is that I'm a comic, and you can't just be given that you can't audition and then go.

U that s mixed our dear you're that big thing: congrats, I mean like you're. That's it you're in essex, you got it you gotta spent, ten years in the trenches, five years on the road fucking eighteen years, obsessing about material. Will you go back and look at no books, five years old, go, maybe that this in their like you gotta and I want the thing I'm most products is that I'm a comic that if walking to the seller. I walk into the stand. I walk into the store we're a walk at the laugh factory. I walked into improv, walk into a best, buy you're talking to a fucking, lincoln dealership, but people go. Oh he's a comic first comic. First, you want, You want that title to be after, your name. Why is it? Why do we love that tight and just like the idea of that being like what you identify when I see movie stars, were they going to stand up comedian and go hold on? No? No! No! No! No! No, no call him a comedian, don't call,

stand up. Comedian is very fucking different because we just all understand the the ultimate like there's a next level of sacrifice, and I think it's a stand up comic is something it's it's kind of like when you said bert, where it's like you're you're, a stand up comic, because no one comes to you and says you're stand of comic than europe, like no one hands. You you're ura book, you look of material out. You pass the coffee. I congratulate your comic like it's something that we all learned so based on that That's why, like this is someone can cast me in a movie and now I'm an actor. Your movies are but like a like because of the work. I put into it, and thought, someone else finally making the decision to be like yeah yeah now now you're in the movies, they can't take it away from you, no matter what happens like fucking like, and this isn't obviously an extreme example, but if bill cause be wanted to yeah eggs.

He says the video link that says it's like back legitimate everything, Jeffords europe but like for them we want to do you go right now on a stand up. You're. We persevere There is no good good, not maybe at the theaters no way dude there'll be like this. The protest looked at him hold on one second, no way you're telling me bill cosby. Is that the fuckin is that the lyric, or what can you tell me they go bill? Cosby is in the main belt or you're going to you're, not gonna you're, not gonna. Go, I'm gonna go hey Adam, you might have he can I get him? Is that going to be tight and he's like he's like I dunno, or chris rock rogan was a pow they're. All on the backs, too yeah there's weightless to watch bill. Cosby do stand around you're right. Let me tell you about raping a bitch all

if, if the do you think, there's a part of them to just get up there and talk like really like and just go lol, I'm towards the end of of life and here's, my what's called the fuck, you tour and he gets up there and it is basically like he will fuck just about right. That's it! Those are great. The great bears great brighter. This is what I think about women's rights and fuck. It that's never been done some way towards the end of their life. To save you, I'm gonna say I still have enough wherewithal to break this down and be like articulate about it, but I'm just going to say anything: you don't even want to come close the yearning to hold onto a legacy. This already gone ass, the years yet again and was still be america's dad and size. I now my long and I think even knows you have these two completely demented at this point I hope he is a narcissist legacy, friends of the north sea once an hour

the reality was so skewed that you were like that they say things and you go like. I remember this person say somethin, one time like alive, they put out public and then trot told me the truth and for they told the truth and told me to lie, and I call them on it and they were like and they attacked me and then I said, no, you told me the truth the five because by their bullshit and then they went, I told you that I kind of like oh yeah and then blew it off, and I went Why will you mad at me for telling you for telling you the truth, you that's amazing that you can do that. Question number. The first law you ever heard or were told when you recognize like fun.

if you do that ain't true, I think I was probably telling them before I heard them told me they were the voter. That was every kid I remember to get out of trouble broke the related bo, Derek. You know what it was. It was a football there. You don't want to be related to it. I wanted to cool. I was like Eric and I was like. I must have been first grade. and they were like. Yet, whenever shoes big best friend of mine in second grade, told told everyone at school his dad invented little caesars. He tell us, he tells a fake story of how his dad came up with the slogan he was like. Everyone was sitting around talk about what do we do? We do pizza? and there's the movies like pizza, and they were aware that varies greatly.

do we know that the stutters fog chicks by the fourth grade, I dunno? What sex was, but he had it, and I didn't say I want sex he's like I'm doing them, man everyone's work and doing it with like one voice, crazy, yay menu to the bar, and you fuck, like this guy was, I remember, telling the castle pass and kick concert contest at buck stadium and my sister, my sister was behind me. She goes dad, won't even let them play football, I'm trying to make fucking friends. Do you know how this works? You fucking damn those kids that never got caught are on it, the cat doing yeah because they realized that's how that's how you get popular So your friends, there were the slower, as do the cool kids know my school, with a celebrity like that was the first celebrity like right, like dude. First could ever had sex that I knew of

other than Jesse was lying about it in fourth grade or seventh grade Jessie mosaic and guess what confirmed, because fucking, a year later, in eighth grade with a kid and you're like oh yeah, that's right, sixty mosaic, yeah Jessie said, prove it and he did it to rooms that you know what I'm saying so that guy to me, like, I remember his name and his face. Where now I'm seeing it like ryan. At some point, in closer the first guy to get laid bread AJ, I dunno last name, but muslims AJ do. But you remember it we're course, because that such a like you know so crazy. I look back and I go oh seventeen when they get laid, I didn't, even to a right Why was she didn't? You were seventeen yeah right well in that trees, defense, you know it's that it was the way it was why. Why did you do it right? I put the cop

if the economy wrong or right, though that's a you to unroll it all the way and then try to slide it over. My dick, like sounds like my mom rolls my socks up and I slid the socks so condoms that makes a lotta sense and as I push down there is air inside it, so it was trapped inside it's reflate is clean up and I was like this can be right, and so then I put finally put the right one on and then I got on top of her. It was like one pump, two pumps, dawn and she looks me dead. Sears goes on it'll put it in and tell that gives cleaner, but you get to bed fucker between but she can imagine even evident even have sex with a person so, the bed. That's now you and your virginity that then I put it in the owl,

I think after you are done after I compromise the integrity of the condom. It's a lot like going on a hike going, hey. You wanna hop in this fucking river, real, quick succession in some way, and then we can start to do that sort of slosh around. In that big draw watch out, watch out, watch out, there's a fucking, really big show it was bad and then, when I pulled out my dick Simon meets hard but it wasn't like. Obviously everything's lubed up inside the calm. So I was I and out, there's no call them on. I looked down with between her leg legs and I fucking pulled it and I talk and I talk and then I get to spoken bad? I learned a lie and learn lessons, and I didn't put these are my book because I thought you think I like I'm not lying. I swear on my shoulder rare I pulled it. I put it in. stuck, and when it when it let go. It smacked my hand. I got scared at the flu and it's

on the mirror in the bed, I'm not even lying. I swear to you all my children, all my heart. I suppose everything everything's heading my life, may I be fuck down tomorrow. It's stuck on the fucking window on the on the mirror and then grab it, and I was like it was the episode of the shining but with fucking. I went into the bathroom and I looked at myself in the mirror and I just shook my hand- and I was like you fuck an idiot like you got anything right there and then I was like reasonable, had such six chicks that when will it so bad there that I was like If I can do that with anyone really close to them and show you how bad I am yeah, there's so much, you just think you like know about, though, like to be prepped. For that first moment, you just don't like how good it feels I was like this doesn't feel like our hand at all yeah, oh my god. If

It was the everglades, a commercial, that's the slogan right. This doesn't feel like a hand at all, and that was with a condom on. Have you ever done? I remember I have done a few like there's that as sex with Emily, that's a podcast. You know that is, but You ask if we talked to checkmate, like so specific that he was talking about like all the same emilie lightweight we're all supposed to do that. No, no! I was about to ask about the flashlight like about it. I got gifted one effort, this export gas and I was like there's no I can do that and I know the host but dyke If the people around me were you know, and then I you know when I pull into a do a t v job once I had like you know. I was big mob of these puppets in the back of my car, where the fuck is this going, you fucking voted. I did this sketch. Where are these puppets, and also the flashlight after the park, as I just threw at my trunk and I pulled into the lot and they like, we need to check your trunk and the woman opened. Then she goes. She goes puppets

fresh light years. You sure you do not know enough about if you owe me horny I've, never been so embarrassed when I was alive and I go, I go once for a video one. I got from a podcast because I dunno wanna know what the fuck does is she goes, but you could enjoy your show. You know anyway, so I'm so curious to everyone. She ever met. I'm so curious about the just that it must have the right like the flesh, ladys at leg. I got one wouldn't odin? Need everyone now I got read and all your crazy one that they gave to all the comics one year at the montreal comedy festival, and I just got one that I just took one look at that thing and went nope. That's what I thought it's like what I dunno, but are you kidding me?

you know how many times I've looked at something and said: I'm not going to put my dick about I've. Looked at, I looked at a noodle one time, a pool noodle just like a little a little bit bigger, I were probably would have tried it. I I I one time rome was like you: gotta try a flashlight not like like in a pervy way, but he was like. Oh you ever tried it or they feel great and so like oh, I remember be like I has a around the amount of grub one on the way out, but you can't go hey. Can you give me something to jack off into a friend to miami? I'm proud that week, this backwards in coconut grove and I'm gone. some to eat and as I what can we get something to eat? I see such shop and I go well. What are they flesh idea for a walk in a like. I do like the

weekend made the walk around like yeah, you guys, but I try to be alright, like I don't really know what I'm looking for. It's like a jerk off into real quick, I'm just curious. I've never been to near jet. Do you have something that can help me that can help me jerk off? then also be really humiliating the clean afterward you ve, no idea you ve, never clean one. That's the point I raised my head around. Never want to go, If the other like a fur, is called a flashlight and he goes nah we got like fucking can I'll take it fucking. Can it's just a can of beer, a can of kieran and it's in low. You can like I've at your house and ran back yet kirin. the camera. Logger japanese beer grab. It needs a guinea, do you need, whew browser

little rape. It yeah you're, buying one travel, packer you'll, give it up. I'm unplugging this thing all weekend like it'll, be more than one. I literally was hungry and I raced back to my room to fuck it. I get it back and it's not a vagina. It's a mouth: it's just lips, garlic, Oh, don't do it like it it just. Let us visa sober look of doesn't talk nobler than it does not, women's lives that looks like dudes lips. It's like any lit just lives like this. they don't look like a giant, a bundle right all the I fucked it up, but then the worst part is that he's like what the worst part is is there's a worst part of it. Isn't it yet and you're like you, just want to alpha wait for hundred. Well, that's what that's. I think what the move would be, and why is that the move like Houston sucks?

man, so amazed that amazing, We know I was going to say it is it's like the first time you went in a vagina with a kind of on and you were like that's fucking insane and their next time. it's great and then the moisture you like it's getting sitting. I need to cut him off its the first time you do you like, oh fucked, up you'll, just like it, and then the next time. You don't you like common person. First I made a ruby afloat. I love repair, come on, I'm just thinking about first, and I just to my attic. I remember the first time like I love rubio, I love the ice cream. I had no idea those two worlds can be combined. I remember the first time I had. I had tommy's burgers today, great yeah, really yeah. I didn't like him as much as I like in and out yep I agree in and out is my shit.

the first time had in and out. I was like. Oh I'm gonna be doing this a lot better, so in the flashlights, where the in and out of sex toys for you, yeah, which in that sounds like a great sex toy as well. By the way it is ingrained sex toy like if you tried it out, no burger, it's like a joke, I'm talking to each other by the way. That's the commercial. By the way everyone goes in and out and they go the burger yeah It is I've done robots biogas. Yes, this is officially the longest bar guest of everyday with his long yeah is bergamo he's like he valued If he could eat he, he could easily just go into his house and go to bed and we'd probably go or forty five minutes to an hour. The thing about like when you have to

best friends, a pike s ozone like we're. Like, oh now we're just we we we revolt. revolt. Ok, megan. Words now item read reviews look. We even the word I wait, I'm going, I know to search for it. What is the word I wouldn't let you search for the word. The word means go back. What is it you mean revert? Are you searching for a word? He he couldn't figure out revert. Did you couldn't ask for a better while I was gone, I literally tried to fucking make a very articulate point the word

Did you ever just forget words a lot I I'm I'm barely buzzed right now and I'm enjoying this they're looking at you guys be that hasn't happened in a long time where I just sort of forgot a word and I'm glad- and I can look, I'm fine. I love your hair like that, would love to have your hair, not all right. Well, I guess it's going to end with you just stroking his head: isn't it yeah, I mean sweet sweet. Let's talk about your body for a second workout right, yeah like good, like you will workout hard dude, I'm not like look do I do I lift weights. He's asking uber I want to say that is like the pause extra long after things and see how people react. Alright, so yeah men do cardio play a little basketball. Do you really

yeah, I do the stair stepper I got. My calves are, I think, are on point, but you know what are we talking about in Amir test? He lifts me. I do the I didn't brad williams, baby, bjorn, okay, yeah, yeah yeah. She weigh one hundred and twenty about yeah yup. as I saw a solid della form as well. The way, though, every time like brown, I what he came with me when I did at midnight and and and I go where we use me right- yolks of began there and then we're like edward would if I lose and browsing well, I can be in the audience and you call me ever was this was shot midnight or evidently I wish that our Edmonton unaware home

eben says that midnight the sad event at midnight, okay, yeah and so brad goes? You don't wait? What if you lose like you gotta do something like have an accent, and I was like yeah what we do. He goes well I'll be in the audience and he goes and tells hardwick that you're going to leave and take all your things with you and then do like a fake whistle and then I'll run out of the crowd and jump into your arms. And then you walk off stage like these are my things yeah. So we did that, and so I lose it just kind of birmingham. I was trying to like get answers, but like the way it goes, and also when I see myself losing I'm like alright, maybe I'll pump the brakes on the next two answers, so I do lose. And so then here we go there. Have you lost no points whatever and I go all right. Chris was things around me, but I'm going to take my shit and get the hell outta here and then I go brad and then he runs out of the audience, know everyone's like what the fuck and in one jump we've never like done a him jumping and catching him in my arms, and he jumps in time for and I caught him and then I put my and I'm going to go pace

and then we walked back and we turned around and rose clapping and then brad liked it like a miss universe. Wave was great fucking, but now, when we do shows on stage at the end, sometimes he'll jump in my arms I'll catch him, and it's like. You know it's fucking magical, the boy big as the work it does work here, asking I gotta get these deltoid gonna come on. Their work shows able, if we can get the best part about that at midnight thing is that I was not scheduled to be there, but because I appear on camera, I had to be paid. series yea unions. By the way, I think that's why I got banned from a shelter a little bit. I found out because apparently somebody told me that when you jumped on my arms somebody had said like hey, we were like hey we're thinking about doing this at the end and they were like wow. I don't I don't know, and that was it nah be fine and they're like yeah, but you might get like like what if something happens, priorities nothing's going to happen earns I found out. He ate television. Was that makes me eight television. Do something really truly fuck

hilarious and inspired and there's this fuckin idiot go in well I dunno. Can you imagine the trouble we could have got an end due to autism, so some guy who's never been on stage when something that never performed to me telling you what's going to work and what's not going to be one of the greatest parts about being in this business or being around either shows sets, will ever wear something that just happens right. I'm sure yeah that happening in your show. All the time were something you didn't plan happen and you're like holy shit like that, like You know it's just so unexpected and then that's what I said about networks as they go now. I'm sorry, it must have seen, very fun at the time that we were in australia and shoot a show in this and the network exec was like, I don't want anything planned for today. I want her to get lost and I want to see what happens and so we got lost, were failure to observe just fucking I'd like it even busters like in the woods, though, in a wheelchair words by the coast in cannes, so

or drive and then we get to this place and they therefore was flooded. There's a bunch. We are waiting for the river, the tide that go get back so the will cut back that they drive the street and so this road, and so There are those I go up. Narrow guitar and I ended up with film, when the guitar, and then we have to do the interview and one of the guys, like Joe a joint and to cast members, are doing onscreen interview and he answered. I had it will pass round and then I go they want some so them, their little like oda. Later on a line interview, he goes just want to hit this, no goes and then he walked off and it was so brilliant and the networks like now we care about in there and you like why that's

What traveling is about, and sometimes you get off drugs as a chef yeah. That's I mean that should be in the travelers. Have you ever thought about writing a there's, a guy named rick steves. You know who that is. No. his big in seattle from one morning will be risky. Note. Close I know what you're talking about. I don't know his name, those that rick steves rick these days by the way. How dare you try to? Decent insular receives, ok, bye rick, steve the eyes of amazing he's by the way, brandishing steve's is guam itinerary like this. If you I'm gonna eminent, identifying the boys everywhere that's going to greece yet definitely want to see verbal Maybe it's really intent like its intent, driven travel, yeah and its by the way ways, but everywhere guy who did? I would much

or watch a guide to that fucker yeah. Okay, I love someone like try to fake a read by the way. This is why I love bread. He goes. What is that? I want to know what that is. He looks at picture, rick, steves and guess what now that's going to be saved in your google search in october. There's those tours like rick steves does books. He has his own travel lie. Yeah he's the fucking travel god, I'm in burbank failure. Thinking about gone to a t g, I fridays. Do the drinks add up you're like I don't know man do they I'll find out. Each ex everything out I'm going to africa? Do elephants really, you know he's Roads he's please a really fun it's to water yeah. It was really cheesy yep like it, but he also knows his shit yeah, and so you like, like what would I rather watch a guy who has a fake ex

edition, show yeah. Maybe I should have said that, but, like the whole, that I mean I don't mean that guy but like no like guys like iD, are in the chunk when you realise there's also cameramen caring cameras on their shoulders through their do. You didn't is not talking like this. The out there just working and walking backwards, tat things really that crazy, because you walk to that spot with can resolve yeah. I can't believe we're here. I don't take it alone from time to time. I'm here in the middle markets are you said I can't really. If we are going through snacks, we're dave, they ve got a got. They ve got its such bullshit. These fuckin shit. Oh and I was on ozone but I will try to keep it like try to keep it non attached, the moment like when you are ultimately whereby jobs might be like the only swam, a great white sharks young couple times. to the abbey as that's me, one there's a whole bunch of stuff that is terrifying to think of doing swimming with sharks. To me,

the top three owed, no, not at all what no scott things number one: ok, the arafat, a dwarf after midnight I'm looking to midnight I died yeah right, you know. Sometimes something hits you and you go. I came to express in noise because that was so brilliant. It was like midnight, so all right, so you grow, which was there a cage? I've been advocated them, but yeah. out of the cage? More terrifying by the way out of the cage. Is nicolas cage's one man show and he's doing it on santa Monica and hudson don't want to give a quick shout out because I'm ok at the box office, sunday and tuesday of next week out of the cage it's about. Making the rock

there was an occasional wrestler, and this is so fucked up other dynamo, the wrestler out of the cages a year. I have had one hit, but I think I'm getting a contact. I think we contact guy. What's his cage turn down is that I broke my vape in the second one, but yeah I going to be in and like.

In terms of brad's, got a president who we as long should wrap this up. I don't want you to have to fucking, be here, but also you know winnings winning guam. You know what I mean Guam, if you want to you, can guam. If you want to you, can leave your friends behind. You can move your bag. No guam, allied to the wharves were in that music video sixty brad, please just do the whole music video of you and go dancing like peewee herman. You run into your friends but get on my instagram at brad williams, comic and yes, you're gonna see some bread guam day. One day promises hey I'll, do one a day at least on the wall. Then we take guam and, and are you? Are you transposing every popular song, fucked up name for a place? I know the wall sounds like something that would pop up in the nineteen. Sixty seven batman series when batman hit a guy house smash is a beautiful blob. We need a san francisco territory. What would you call it? I dunno. I have to go with three to you know. Talk

well it's on rom three see the notes cousin that we locked up in the basement five years ago. If you want to call it, the romans were fucking me. I like that if it does get nuked and I die there, the this'll be my party that oh yeah dude you're going to be fun though, but I also who knows you know you'll be fun to come only to bar that was dubiously nobody's, should start on this. You doing fine It's gonna be graduate We can guam. If we lot of it is going to happen. Please make those videos leave the ground behind, wait and effet all gone said you no friend going quam, we can go.

Rising like stevens ago. Was the languages english, I dunno. If you want to guam or around the world, I've had the glamour of my love affair this before I'm going to do that, I want to guam guam every song, but again the

gun, but but do adopt about about gm, but but do bidet. Who will look at my phone for all songs that just wait? Yeah, that's the best one we will. We will guam you these same view and you gonna guam. They speak English and I speak something called took a chamorro. hell yeah, my omelet one time is pretty good. Yeah yeah yeah an argentinean restaurant tomorrow, good one, you guys know actually for real here is a guy that road, I think all the big concertos is there

and as long as he's gone, that day is as madame de barbara. The problem is coming rebecca. Oh, this is the best. This is the hardest bit. It is becoming one more cocktail. Just get myself started in the gulf war. we are going to Guam early, the for the great coolio song called guam salzburg. Damn it feels good to be a gloucester The country saw their there I got it

Why a guam, and every day over nine nice is a callback throughout. new volcanoes. You should probably know that before you do it's so funny. Is it for a cartoon yeah. I only say that, because in the first ten minutes of talking with you- and maybe this is the longest we've talked I go- damn like you Great. either for a lot of wars over stuff. I feel I guy you know like ice are listed, it makes you pay attention to a more and I mean it's arc brad same thing: man, some voices you're like dude there

is this day. Maybe it's people to that have like really strong comedic, just sensibilities. Never, but like your voice, like it's very its should be the leave a cartoon day I'll take it also that you know their rights yes, you can do while you do enough auditions where you're like oh yeah, like not good at auditioning, I'm good at doing things, but I'm not going to auditioning I think I was too hungry when I was younger, like I wanted it cause. I needed money, and now that I'm like, I don't know not that I don't need money, but I don't the job yep, I go A more far without this having that's why you're callback but No one's gonna really will play lego lego. Secondly, onyx com I play me or do a movie with super ultra, what about being like the voice of like or or or make guam parody songs, apparently, by the way I half of what he said, I had no idea of what he said, because I was thinking of just now. Yeah me too, in my era now is like Guam yeah yeah. He is

is the guy I've, Is this? How can we arrive city worry we already like up like a problem That is why we should let you guys, and now all these it'd be in my head and when they like it, when the flight's in enough announces like welcome to guam, I'm going to be similar like guam. If you want to go around where I'm going to do it, that's it you've. Gotta do you've got to where there is always something to remind me. But when I pass out there's a really good movie about guam called guam with the

we're scared that for real, though they do have a good action, thriller called guam and sixty bc in guam girl guam. I gave him speak after that one fuck yeah of the people of in walmart upset. It normally I survive, and how many do you have? How many will find out real, quick, hopefully throughout my shows, at the at the hyatt regency yeah in tumen? This is the way I look at my podcast. If you do like like this, one will get really big numbers. Awesome Bobby Kennedy and stew stone got dick he was now is a wonderful episode. By the way there was war having divans sour on their part guessed what

Yeah he's going to the podcast because he was a guy got a fight with anyone. That's not listening in a fight with him, yeah yeah, I dropped devin sour. Today we had Andrew Keegan our podcast about last night today, Andrew keegan another nineties, yeah andrew keegan ended at ten things. I hate about the seventh Heaven. He did appeal step by step, fucking every show from the nineties where you mentioned devon, so on yeah americans were talking about. He was on tb with a j Tt Jonathan taylor, thomas and like, and we were talking about, like just being on a poster on girls wall like a teen when that was something that was a barber and I was like men have zune bahrwan devon, sour. I devin Andrews Devon, sour mentioned by male comedians in two thousand. Seventeen deftly twice this year like yahoo, we all this fight and so on? two stones? Do so was there and and and then and so devon.

Students like albion's podcast, talk about the fight and talk about what he's actually got me is an interesting career. I would mind talking to him yeah. I would love talk to him, but so apparently my recollection of this fight is wrong. So I, like everyone's regulation, what would I have to say, though. lab before we liberal quickly. I heard about your pockets, the advocacy because I did it. I had a blast you guys I was it was one of our highest re emphasise way years. Rear lives, like reallocated episode of fact. That makes me feel good. Yet we d has on yet no joy. The authority is a fucking. I've talked to move out of the bonds in which its it'll happen in the next month, or so we just wheat, really weeds the connective tissue, get. How would you feel We come on all pocket and you might have to what are you guys go to his pockets and indeed a death star? god I needed I'm down to do that. I mean but brass redondo. Emily eating. Can I have the word death in the title to a village as far back as tomorrow, night and

one of those things where usually drop a line to them and say: hey Adam, raised down to take a death star with a hundred percent one hundred percent. I think he digs me: we've we've chatted, like minimally, but like a lot where, if you like, add up all the nights over like but and- and I always feel like- I'm like I mean I figured one good, hang away from a cool connection being made here. Maybe it's over death star? No, but the fact that you smoke weed the way Joe smoked weed. So, like that's your connection, like Joe Joe now says that a couple but yeah yeah yeah. I know that's a really big compliment. Joey Joey lawrence majority smokes joint yeah, you know like he doesn't like to like me use I take a hit yeah. I think you hit them good yeah. I will roll that pas and is All about going deep and like home heirs, male and female marian first down. Major joy is a really is such a great guy get up. my boy, I guess I had.

A run were realised, everyone listening knows run, but Sarah now by realise what name of high casket is a group of you. Like mina, have into the heavy lifting with you Adam, I just being hanging in the air you guys already having a relationship that let us having a few cocktails and they just get funny like getting silly giggling. Doing guam parody songs or we were giggling about being hit by a car three times yeah. I forgot about that. Didn't have to do that as I now am because it's also a name just a reenactment isn't a walk on stage and say I've been hit by a car three times in my life and then just go. From the outset so crazy. You know what I like about it. My opinion just give you my opinion, churchyard what a light- and I didn't realize that was the peril of a little person. But that was something that you have to worry about. Yeah, then that by way that makes this

such a label. The audience is merely by the way on your side like I'll fuck light. That's that's! That's me. If the thing about you guys, we all almost been hit by cars gap once we have the luxury of a two extra foot, person yeah like some over here alone. We ought to look in the mirror. Go oh there's a person there. Yet here is the don't you don't see that If that is so, Opinion cars back up and being sexually assaulted by large dog then, when Dan goes. When I saw you I said, hey, I'm gonna run out I'm coming over. I go. I think I should put pris up. She has bragged about press before I go I would therefore remember that. I really like. I don't think he asthma press, it's like. I don't have a problem Large dogs, like sometimes large dogs, have a problem with me in the here.

It does what has ever been like a true face off where you're like what I might have to use throw down this doctrine. I found a delegation appreciation day found asian region. This measure of my side on the thirtieth anniversary of a hundred and armenians and is now I bought a dalmatian dog park. I was trying to impress this girl when walking the dog or his dalmatian saw me, and I don't know what I dunno, what it is. Maybe it was abused earlier by a midget. I have no idea, but he just booked it towards me,

it just so fucking. If I had that story in my life, oh yeah it'd be my act immediately. Is it you're trying to impress a girl you take her to a dog and yeah, the beautiful dog and now you're? Probably one of the most beautiful like below, makes me the fucking. Last part is, is that you,

If you made noises like meeting like you do when you like get when you see someone fall or get hit by a car, and they go hey they're going to realize that this isn't fucking rat yeah, but you made real people putting an animal would fight an animal like. I remember I had to get that out of a tree one time that I was like. I was like fucking just losing my shit. If somebody walked in me taking a shit at a starbucks and then the fug in the door was unlocked, they opened it up, and I'm like is that noise you're trying to oppress a woman knows that the data by the one fucking obsessed with is definitely high. That is the thing that makes it later.

We know very seldom live to fight animals bigger than us yeah you russell. The only way we'll never do for them seems to me like every other six weeks. If I dunno like hiking griffith park, outlet comes out a shock it goes like a date yeah any point in the day, even to where you like it releases tomorrow is tomorrow we're talking about here they are they're laughing, so I've been like, I hope to god his own system. I have been laughing so hard at his fucking last fucking know these are genuine topics that are like definitely not normal conversation and that you know like like how many times I've. I can remember the last time I've, she's in the azores, with bread and let alone like

I was talking about the loss of my father. An animal like you know again like I don't even know that you've fought a dalmatian, and this is the thing about alpha, I knew that I that I'm not I'm not jealous about, but I share envious of is that you go yoga You have always argued very original voice. Comedy but but you have a set of life experiences that are very. A very different, yet reliable. Really ever opens never followed up sitting. and the small animals oddly enough, but like I remember one time, he talked about washing your hair. Yes, I just silly. Joke, is all probably joke to you, but, like I remember that I think about that joke a lot. Oddly enough, I got excited, never realised that you D, like leaves illegally like yeah, I leave my head over cause. I couldn't reach the top of my head that that insight, really it was beyond it. It's beyond just being a little person. It was just. It was just a life insight that this part was. I was acting it out on stage one time and I just

I mean cause. That's how I wash my hair and then the guy started laughing and I'm like wait. What do you guys yeah? It took me a second to be like oh shit,. their arms long day, just reach the top of your that there there s very easily what yeah that's struggle struggle for. I I ask that, like I told a joke on stage of the The other day I set up. It's like something that you know, you don't realize, there's something in your life. It's just it's part of your life like I it's it's a two part job I said one time I said I I can eat an edible. The other night I was trying to be healthy, yeah cause I in my book that is healthy, like if you don't drink it used to eat Well, then, you're being healthy and ever laughter, those like and then I said, you guys? Will have unassisted, sleeps I was like I was asleep in our houses when you go to bed without drugs or alcohol every I heard you say that then I was like. I was like honestly seats. We definitely have unassisted sleeps in our house and everyone last and like hold on. Am I out, far removed from society that, like people like I go

play some honesty. I have really usually without help who the fuck goes to bed you don't even mormons, take no way yeah mormons, take ambient events all the time. This totally allowed causes proscribed by dawn. What is that religion? What's going on there pretty mami yeah it is. It is, but that's a whole. That's a whole! I mean that's it. We have to have a separate podcast. We gotta get the fuck outta here. Where do you live at georgia? Should we should we gotta get too warm yeah I would take one had put it out, but er look. You do a five hour by gas. This literally and in part we look. And sir moments alive. You god this is just like what a great hang illegal bread. Maybe, due to the airport and we set apart gas referenda, but also I take a hit and we wrap it up. Is there a podcast record, I. I shouldn't have done when oh, no, my my records five hours with who.

danish of o'neill irritation yeah over the top and mario lopez did seven and a half hours. Ninety. Ninety six, before the podcast, we wouldn't fucking, believe that same year, alonzo mourning said the all time rebound record now I mean, but that was that was a big year. I you know every time I heard his name. I always thought that it was like like morning like like sad, can become more like ie or from one of the bird analyzer morning. I was back up when we want to help you he was in this story was take their fate. Why like that joint unless they have five minutes to sell eight out of divine? Yes, there are two more my favorite humans just over them the four days ago, new york, one of my by the way. What am I fear he loves you, two men did. I love that guy, I'm being serious. He did.

It ain't. Nobody digs on all think at the time. I don't think in his book. You, maybe in his famous or not. But like you just doing work, it of one year and I I loved it, a loved it and It's a brilliant show, it gets. It's credit man but, like I mean bread, we we, you know, we've watched it's just like now now now, when you go into pitch a tv show the the executive. we'll say things like we're? Looking for a work, a holocaust type like those in so too I'm your own genre, that's Down of commerce, has roaming. the show like the serb, given this. Guy is like another five years I mean we are first of all they could have afforded it probably may yeah, maybe that's what it was yeah, but, like my favorite adam divine story. I don't feel I never told you that if I've told you, I remember, I think I told you the baby, I told you at barbs rated

you have. I have not so far away some watch out of MR work, the improbable So then I see workaholics. If I see I'm gonna get excited which I got have to say. I have to say. Is a parliament Personally, I am very glad I have. I am very glad that I get excited for people doing well like that, that people that I like and there's people that I don't like to do well- and I I don't I get excited for them, but, like I love when I see a part that I I didn't have sometimes sago reich like a bill or a special, or a special double negative negative networks. Are you If what I watch it at midnight, so I've midnight I like It forms a tweet nonstop. Sometimes I think that yeah, look like like a cock or like a stand up. Doug steno, I'm is

I will say Dugan also were were good friends but man I am Don't ever think. I'm not certain random is a fan like I'm always affair. You always want to. little moments, I have with him that I steal for myself and I go back. I fucking love that you should never lose that right. If you lose that, then what are you in this bill? We all got into this because it Looked fun writer swords like if either if you can't be in situations where you get out I never want to be fully comfortable was the last time you fucking geeked out hard bread, all geeked out. It's funny. You said that extent hope the ducks hope I never met him, but he knew where was, I know who he is and we met each other at the l, a x airport and he went and bought me pancakes. Dude yeah you'll. Never forget that moment that he sued me in your stage with a tell hey can I be asked one of my favorite comedy moment

probably not on the same level, was for you to be in the back watching and then up there, because I sat there in that row with you watching and laughing, and then I watch you go up and then I'm watching it in replacing like. I can't even imagine being up. There are now and you're just turn. Well with them. Ap shoot comedy. First, creating just like this experience and memory for the audience that they don't even I mean they will reflect on it being lage and then he starts making jokes about you and it goes bert and of course you're there, and he just calls you up on stage and we're just in a I think you and I shared some glances and we were pride. We all thought the same thing like. I hope we don't fuck this up. Yeah, it was it's but like I always approach stand up as a fan. First, The meeting rogan like of I would say of a good friend of mine. What for but about what two thousand- and I was like us like I get out. Maiden that never something I would ever suggest anyone doing Joe only because

Very real person is unlike being put on it. Firstly, does it actually real there, but I went payment. I bet you're going to need your dog, your deprivation tank, where I get high and then going to fuck up and I'm like okay and he's like this, of raising thank those are my dogs and then, and then also I cool. Now offend outlets hang out, but like dope, but good move. Not a good move, no matter what now inevitable yeah, because we're friends, but in rhetoric factors like. I would never told anyone to do that, but I guess it if real but The thing I can say about Adam is from a fan of more colleagues a budget for the area. This is one thousand and different configuration. Just turn it on. I get so excited about the writing. I love the rape van. I love that, like there's so much about it that I love. I say I loved the rails until they played the tougher it so much of it. I also prepare them so on

in the first episode of another travel channels on doing called trip and when we're in Orleans. and an upstanding up on the balcony and I were looking down The thing and I see the caste system. of it are the cast of work. Oh it's what yeah street, I guess I guess or shoot Robert IA and they're all there. go fuck and hammered? I barely remember this night but allies are what I meant to say was Adam its burke reiser. a comment from the improv? What's up, I don't know what I've all the came out of my mouth was. I burn cries from the top of your heels eel ass, the other and the words of the machine, and I went that's when I. your back and that same up, they came up

we parted all fuckin night and it was like animals like and then he said, It has a lot of very sweet things. I will quote him settle one because of schools, as we do in the article loves comedy so much, and he was there When he worked at the improv man? He saw like guys who were from there were crushing it. He fucking like he took a lot of notes. Many of those, let's just say. Oh Allah, says that he was very kind in that sense. Something yeah respectfully of that course, and I was like dude he's not like in my animals like their certain people to do, Certain things in life will you go you my guy for ever and never letting people talking about you judge opto jennifer tell the fervour tunnel, the one on store was very recently eight months ago, less than eight months ago me I'm more nay, red, rum and an eye past. Just after montreal I go on the store. For my the first time ever in the o r as a paid regular and I get bumped? I

tosh, I'm going to get bumped by judd, apatow adam super bomb. These are episodes where it was happening. I was like dory. I get it, I'm cool, it's a definite like no, to yourself of where you are in your career. Yeah. Definitely, and that's part of what the story is. Don't ever fucking think you're better than you are so your laptop goes up. Does this time right on time says she's up next and and he's like ok, this next like her. Here we go get up. Zadig his name's bird, like fun. some bullshit andrew. He goes this next comic. you might know from his show on travel channel birth, concrete at another show, will drop identical triplets. He just had an hour special comment on showtime put your hands together for burt chrysler and I went to adapt, Nobody ever talk should have brought about your photo me you just fucking made my first. I'm on the store perfect because you gave a fuck about my intro. Animal before like europe, god to me, but atomizer same fuckin like just a legit like

a rather too like a cat brought it into a right before we started filming and then into a mere monsieur? No, no dallas to call but keep names, warm but did you start with your start with them to you? now. I knew Adam through this. Where does it? everyone's name is Adam. I knew I met him divine threat of re, and that's how I Madame and many a night esbens and a bed, I'm divines house dick the occasion, Celebrity will pop in or dislike, ok wearing. I was ever on the night. Ok, that's cool, then that's it unbelievable and its Those moments kind like where you're going out with stand where are the synagogue like a bad man, either I was with everyone

I don't have now, but I was doing our podcast series in october, yeah yeah also dudes atomized. We were both there. There was a handful comics that were doing like a lot of sketching youtube videos, and I was doing them all on my own and atomizer like select. The party was: did the guys who had legit like Don't consistently doing videos had like good heads, airports, air schwartz, LEO of him, singing that song in spanish in that area schwartz, someone don't consistently crush that uptime and I can never remember his name yeah, and you know man, there's there's a that's a guy where I'm just like man, you are. You are very talented and like where's. Where are you where? Where do you take that and where do you put it? You know? The problems. Are you fucking crush that air, like where videos and like it

he sings. I saw in the spanish in a mexican canteen idea and it destroys it no longer find you should have seen it yeah. It destroys air sorts was yeah real estate's, keep going and keep arizona and divine had a blake and ders, never doing the mail order comedy and I was doing the last of them and we just kind of like recognized each other of like being like hey, you're, doing a bunch of stuff and I'm doing and then also like dudes, that are just like we. We need minimal information to like bond. It was like you don't, like you know, Julie sports early age like beer, yet it you know like redo like if, as I love craig, I want my guy, you know, and so there's a lot of though there were just a handful of dues at that age. To that were like talk about comics when I out so like the phoebe. Why did it was a trial, in a really gets now and then and then once we haven't, I both don't.

I'm, not a good hanger outer, you know, admit you know a clubs I mean I will do that. Yeah I mean I just I never have been and I've tried. I mean in the few people that then, when I hit it off, with an eye like in a bright. We met the? U r c, but there was the commodore when you're ok come on the road me yeah, but it's like I never. When you ask what's going on the clubs, I just never it's tough to dislike star him a hard time making further yoda friendship. You know one of the things I ll say shut out. The big J is Like a rule, I really do have a hard time making friends in end, in that light? Come I don't trust people and I also get like I get to the point where I want, I like a kansas, I felt needed. Walk. You know like I can't just be quiet with someone else, really rough time are then every party, but with Adam divine in new york, we were all parties minor. I ran enormous something. Maybe our text something here.

amber how it happened, but I say: we're all gonna, be this club doing this thing when you come down and his ike by the way I was like blacked out of luck and weak. So remember any of this, but so I got he comes out and then we all do this thing. And- and we all hang out afterwards amount big adam. Really I don't like you. Lee ever hung out with a new policy of comments. The big ro sooner now it so he was hanging out news. Like is very grateful. thanks for inviting me to this, because these are I want to know other comics. It's a comic and art You might as well say our bodies, a comic, no man ever solid eight years before, like all that should happen, Vienna adjust yeah. Oh, and so we are Now I do not know, restores the big day. So I party, where you are, and then I was fuckin spit it out

J noticed it. He was, I came in I doing Just come to my house and watch cops. Crates are great suggestions, so we just went to his house and, I think, smoked a little weed and and drank a couple drinks but billows of bad. Whatever look where we think I mean you, don't know you're wrong. And then you write a hundred percent that nose like ours shaky and I had a cup. transit data, didn't speak at all. Yeah. What's cops need to show me his favorite clips. Show me nick nick was America's got out, nickname carriers again. Man examines the cannon maso, but he got that big. Did you see that that big Dave eddie was the kid cannons bessel grey? But the words way, but I saw some beer.

But yeah shallow to Adam devine, said I met him on the podcast one time. He'll do it he'll do it he's been in new york during a movie all summer and the knees comes back in three weeks. He have like a I dunno other. if we get those guys on for sure by the way we just didn't add another forty minutes. We gotta stop rhino rider dude. Can I ask like what that's what I love about brad to like you know, and that's why we're best friends and podcast like it's just like you know, you gravitate towards people that, like all this right now, like breads minutes, he he's gotta go he's been checking a shit but then he's also like am I going to want to run out of bread are very similar. You know that it is a great quality rewrite big dicks. rather the comics that you could go? We go no club, the staff would love. We hardly with them would have a good time, and I would say this I thought this today about you are thought I've never heard of brown. Bread word

Brad what about bad years? That's all! That's! What's all words I'm going to go ahead and be the voice of reason in this conversation, be like? Don't call it that, but there were reds worth passwords yet to be called, thank god for rear backup camera. Now that is not a bad idea that a lot of bad shit, I'm not even joking the if the mixer on your next special should you be it'd, be a you and a rear, backup camera going? Alright, let's wrap this out here, real quick five about last night yeah you I did it I had last year- has, if you guys, are you guys are the summit. I also this import, gassing, shorter, the romans yeah, there's the bird and then there's the amateur. for us. It the same category worrying me you and the eurobonds were made.

Managers go all you gotta. Do this podcast like we're like yeah, I think minding my guess- is like that of your partners. I think theo's, as I gotta think, there's Eliza is a little bit later homes where we can all work words like us. industry. This is too it also yes and- and you guys do great job. My basement slack on the progress of an edit decided it here. Not this in the beginning of your heart, at the very beginning, one thing your studio is Adam's house, but it it really is great, and I've talked to that girl. I would I think I might Can you please let me up again yell a buggy to entice with. I want to pick up my studio tab. It gabby ass, its aid. We there There is a level that's raise a little bit when you're like we feel a bit more pro about some things and site www bran. Oh no

brad, a great third bike. All your progress, meaning like brad like I do, you like you, drive it like you did it. I felt you know a lot of you did Search on me were pretty was me, but I feel like I feel like you came and drove things and then your repertoire made me feel comfortable. Yet to be myself like it's as let's go wrong. Comics us do it, but you actually put like a little bit of like time minded I felt that way. I think, there's earthly, I mean that's what I think the gratings about like doing is. Are we figure are dynamic and like it also varies from from pod depart, but like an hour for sure, it's like me, brad of such a fucking slinger of jokes lex. It's like a humiliating he is mouth can keep up with the amount of jokes. He comes up with it and it's like an that's. What's gray and the like, even when we do, I think we figure out what we are doing. A few lie bought gas words like other, might be partners. B for me, because I feel like I feel like this

gig onus yeah doesn't happen like guys for you guys yet again that we are, we only we always open with us, which we just can like in a wicked. You know things do yeah, and so we always can get some go in and then bring You should do eliven, whether some time ago to ok, I love doing life. I guess, but my boy, That's why you like, I feel like all by yourself. I I would totally understand that lay out of the game later and whether that we're going up together and we can like it's real ways where people going to watch it or listen to About last night, five upsets delays we may have had one did it with fragrance junior yeah. It was to get him in joshua Pye gas are, I am areas I mean for you, you'll see was somebody wanted no go. Do they want I mean in the park s the the principle yeah, both

about our about last night: oh yeah, yeah, albania, here's my top five out of work, burke, Reiser yeah one the number one way. That was a really great time had your pack ass. I have said that is that thing down a bunch rightly because Brad nigh, I think brother, so similar people were really are really. Some of you know that I keep wondering if the same size at his trial on like does, mrs as if it's a seven through force. Is that your phone gets a video, absolutely yeah, my god, Brian said yeah we do and no one has a no one has the same size as me. Hey can you guys do me a favour yeah if you're still listening at three hours, three minutes- and I know you are brad is the same as me. He wants size eight in in a city

hit about with a size. Eight get him get him his hats. Yes, my hat so the best all a throwback hats yeah all parties lines where right now, but he hit him up with that. size, eight love it yeah, yeah yeah is pure bring me cupcakes. They think like middle income, interests have wasted due which we do like I'm. Never we'll do we saw what will we do like top top up I'll, go right. Sure uncle melissa, mccarthy, ok, because the kauppi here good melissa, mccarthy, she's, a buddy of mine, so she's done it twice of your past that pack, I'm still bald that and Mccarthy mn and my wife sat in a dinner party with her one night, I've gotta were agent said. Other agent was ok, you they're, gonna lose where gateway and

It's because he's, like others, said the same thing: I'm just going to gain weight and I'm just going to I'm not going to nail those roles and my wife's like for real cigar. You know what bucket and she destroyed at the strip mall. I was like men at work when my wife saw the bridesmaids eyes mates, she went that melissa. There is jenny, mccarthy, his cousin shot thumbs, I've, like god and my wife, for Monday that crazy, yeah she's, one of the great people on planet earth and one of the funniest I mean like are known as the same dazzled loves her beleaguered l beside also I don't do I'm going to have some a bucket for you or do you book me, yeah brad bucks said I got. I got a couple of berettas asean as it goes from what we've learned twice. Really, yeah are going go near, patrick airs jason derulo, whose asian ruler around an an army b an hour ago you melissa,

will Patrick Harris just believe me, I'm as good as the bird now you want, but I'm not even like that much fun, I'm not going to find you fine look a breton! I do this thing after when, after an episode where people walk out and I can tell its grey, because we well, always easily ever shorter, go to or some mouse and more maybe leave after one One brand linger and we talk now about the park as after, but then just fuckin catch up and hang out it's because of the podcast years were there for maybe an hour afterwards yeah and that's so take that as a that's a compliment comment, but do you notice that and I'm getting you out of your brother's sorta got two minutes by the way by that everyone's, like this started a fucking, our analysis yeah, but the you find that pod asked fans aggregate towards pot gas star. Yes was the celebrities, like like wolf, for instance, one of its operating ryan signal episode

how women do like its words like it's like multiple. He's a movie star, but I will go to me two weeks ago. They go like because I find that, like I know for a fact this this rate really well, because you guys are pockets guys popular people like to hear the crossovers too, they also How do I think it also is just. I may do to white what you bring to a podcast. It's like the you're doing yourself already and then like you have to definitely like. Do it a bunch to get a little bit more like familiar with doing right? I think you did with the things that I believe is that, because we do, this were better stand up the axe, and yet this is the like us. and I'm being dancers bread. Those two things you said tonight dig by car and being attacked by a debate,

I thought I had another haven't finer than our major those or on a dual my favorites agency. I go men, those or things. Those are those are next level. I mean it really is next level it's because it's a part of you that it's not the fucking thing that the that anyone is a little person coming in a comedy was going to go to yeah and if they do, they're, fucking genius or throwaways you get attacked by a dog was a throwaway story. Throwaway story, I literally not going to tell him this is my rogan moment to me machine he as this use like more that shit fuck ingenious dude bank, that blood you can either cars are reasonably well. What is it my? Is it me? What are you gonna get my car? I am pilot. Yes, the answer is yes, this debate

I just wanna car noise. I fought in Gaza because I believe that for me you'd manner, and I have a joke about dragon hotel on stage only because I it's too inside baseball, but it's about when George little joke with the punchline midget and then and then came in and you were in the room, suicide. Ah fuck dad you told us earlier, can I just got zero. Quick, though I mean I love and ought not to piggy back on a bright hours, hey fuck, you browse time, that's a piggy back and become a browser, but I will say this because you know you do ask about the part gas and into some bread or friendship and You know I dunno if I've ever spoke to this, but like what is really great too about doing a podcast with somebody that you feel like oh yeah, you're, good hosting whatever, but it's like you always there's always a

I don't know. There's there such a level of respect and like genuine like when you make each other laughed like. we ve all been around so many people we dislike you, get matched up in a job or like a show, withers error, your hosting something in a new, maybe don't have. You can just tell like. Oh we're just a little bit off, you know and it's like so it's so rare. So, like obviously, we love you in the podcast, but it's also like it's not lost on me at all. When, like we do something like we did today, we did two episodes or we're hanging out where I'm just like. I want Guangyao, that's kind of crazy. How in sync, we were for an hour and a half or two hours on certain things in arms, and so that's as such, I says, brad, I get married soon about you, wanna, say and also those like it in speaking to work on returning to work out. I just I think, a lot about income we dislike.

You know, I don't know when you see like certain relationships or or people in projects that activity addison girls trip in just fucking. So, yes, you know uh somebody's out, proud wrong word and do I have anything to do with her like that, but I've known her since I've known her for a long time, yeah and I've been a friend of hers so far, I'm so I'm so proud to know but somebody that homes so hard of what they're doing and then was able to take in the situations. People should never met and just like be yourself and, and they come to her and she comes to them, and it's just like a a crazy blend of a slightly like we look. Look we his great and in that way it is great grace so where are you this wigan brass gonna, go on the irish goggle phoenix

the extent of love stamp living like love. My lay show float the snake river No, I didn't know about that. Yeah, he got the snake river and you get in a tube and you flown it he's effective too. That is why we went on the road who drives me nuts about practically the pleasanton and I'm like what do we do is like we do this. We do this and I'm like. Can we go there? Okay, we go to the jelly belly, jelly bean factory and and jelly bean factory worker right at the top, so yeah yeah I like to do that, but I'm in the cities, where you at your club- in guam. What are you going to do there? Did you look at the sites I'm going to just it's not hide in the cave from the missile launch. Exactly I'm just going to find a nuclear bunker, but is there like a hooters or like a yeah? You guys have like

however, how is your moons over my hammy? I'm gonna find that you have a denny's yeah exactly my. My ticket sales are great for the whole weekend. Exe for the laser saturday again because of the in the mcgregor fight I am assuming. Oh, what do you mean you're, assuming that's exactly why that was like three quarters of the country's gonna watch as coleman. to us, like hey, can we just by the fight theirs I was thinking about doing that in chicago in the military. No, the commission's answer. You ten grand I can't make ten grand off of one show: that's bonkers to tie a fight yeah. It depends on like the tvs. It's different yeah you're shy people, so they write at a different price, as what twenty grand, if sounds like, if I make one hundred burgers shirts elements, birds and then cut my butt.

I would have to give out after I'd, have to run out of pocket. I think the air to pay for the fight the people that are coming to see you. They still want to see you. They will see your show. They like right out a very small amount of people, but yeah yeah. So, but if they, I bet you know. Everything that will happen is thursday through saturday or sell out, except for the late show and then and then Suddenly, the lower, not just one m intemperance under its own budget, just amber sunday tissues money to show do I use that is understandable supplies in Wednesday. I think we're in a party since thursday night. Let it come on friday. well done, sir, and that an that's. Why I'm see what you're doing- and I appreciate, your hostler, like fuckin birds,

one man, my heart, my heart, I'll tell my work. You have, I have no, my thing is low, the time of so many jobs here said, follow passion, passion, get story and so I started I did that for the show then I was like for what is passionate my passion rate standards so like so like. my wife can recognises a member ari one time was like all the animals like a bird needs to go by then I'm profile in the story of physics. It is you go to calgary with me, I'm going to show their and our voters stampede. Oh, I like your right. He does and there was that there was no money. I lost money like clearly I flew myself. There is like, but I was like brown really great on and then one time she was like, hey you, but on the road along time. On your way,

what you stop in bisbee and go see Doug, and I was like oh good call, so I flew into tucson, went to bisbee and stay with Doug. For the day and then we did it again. Another time like to connect with comics like that seems to be your spirit. Animals I yet being around great common. Here is the reason you know like I'm not driven. With the store I told Adam the other day I was like I was like man I I applied as for my colleague says, is like. Did you ain't my life? So fuck uneasy, as I put no, that I wanted to say: I'm really have in our time shuffling around everything my life yet, but when you do good, store, and you see comics that use respect and you just gettin were short comes will russell peters about whatever, yeah- I don't know

yeah, it's tough to not geek out over that shit. You know and dude and when it goes away then you'll maybe know when it's time to like hang up the hang up the mic night after night. Everybody has, ladies and gentlemen, that three hours and five minutes yeah that is that, is that a record now all I know is ours like we. None of us can do that right now I don't know I mean it's got to be a five hour energy drink. Now, I'm gonna have to have my car. That's really a ten hour you're saying, but I can fucking talk to you all day. My friend and I practically did so the park, as is about about last night S, light years come of that name. Bread! I came up with it. They just like, as we start

recording it. On mondays. Brad asked me to do a podcast four years ago and the idea of doing a podcast, which is crazy to think that it wasn't even as saturated as it is now, and I think marin and right right four years ago, was married at corolla and there's only a handful of of ones that you made you go like oh yeah podcast and he asked me do it and I was like oh, you know actually doing a with somebody sounds fun, and then we start going back and forth names and then yeah. I just figured cause we're going to do it on mondays, and I thought about oh as com

actual to talk about the road. That's where the plan was to talk about the weekend previous year yeah, then what did you guys charge guests on I shortly after that when we realized oh wow, the road is a lot of the same stories. It's like yeah saw a movie. We had, we are going down and we've fucked the girl. Oh shit, oh okay! Oh now we gotta get the fuck out. Yeah now have to guess. On this there and Ralph Garman from the Kevin bean show was our very first guest, yeah and just started doing kevin being a fan they're, the greatest kevin just did our bike as you do another another one that I would almost go five The stories worry that Heaven writer wanted the people that I mean that some of those coming with even Sebastian. I would put it in the top five for me because, like escargot dude, he had just great stories about like hold on hold on hold on sebastian love. You with all my heart. I did sebastian with p p.

Overwhelmed me up like like pete, was like the personality. Yet I want him to know. Sebastian taught by himself eyes a great talk, shadow dispassionate model on the part of the artist, and just if you want one and a bottle of being yeah, Sebastian is bit about watching this guy's sweet brother's house construction. That killed me cause. I watched my guys sweet but, like I never thought there was a bit to it and he did fucking five minutes on this. Guy sweeping and I was dying, fucking laughing going. People sleeping in my house trim alright guys susan surrenders, tough eyewear hold on Yeah man, yeah, you're, Llano. Okay. I will show you a picture man right now, just as sexy and imagined yeah nope, alright, real quick story, Michael mcdonald, mad t v is a friend of mine. We met on the heat right, we had to wait a week. I went to heat central

mrs Mccarthy. I know that as a bag. I know it was a movie. I ask: what are the heirs of gatt had a bit of kabul and illicit mccarthy's he'd ever is when she beat up jason state with a guitar and spy. Yes, so funny, I know I'm sorry jason,

batemans bay minute that we leave for the people that, by the way, bateman or Statham the new, who is the jason, show really yeah so so surrendered. So I go to new york for the spot. I had two lines by Paul. Put me in the heats and then goes hey. Do you want to come to this small thing, Paul Feig, who directed the heat? Bridesmaids? Sorry yeah, you like Paul mccartney, yeah obama didn't do this movie yeah yeah! Well, so then waffle Michael, is doing, shows a mccarty. Do people forget them? Are you about his breakfast? I dunno what the name of his one act basically and it's somebody's of him ordering from DR do like breakfast places that have I canceled his voice over guys. I didn't get you haven't, read for nagoya or haven't you gotta? Do it keep going, keep going pretty well right. So so then we we we Michael go to the moon, shows a gotham in new york and despite rumors that weekend- and I was like oh shit- news it going to go and Michael seem bigger than mine was in the same scene, and he goes he goes come on. Do shows me will go to the premier. I was like fuck yeah, so Sunday show a gotham

susan sarandon and Chris angie come out. Michael knows, I'm Susan did several meds be back in the day. We all go out to an italian restaurant after and they keep it open for us we're doing a bunch of wine and and then I go, I'm trying to have a little bit of reporters Susan sarandon and she's super fuckin cool and and smokes weed and she's, so sexy dude Elias, so sexy dude. At one point I just go. I go, you know Susan. Will I'm going to miss piper minimum and don't have a date. You want to come with me. She has. You know what I actually am not doing anymore and I go. I got two lines in the movie, though don't fuck this up for me: okay, like I'm, trying to make a big splash on the red carpet, don't fuck that don't jam me up and she laughs whatever and then, as again, she knows. Melissa is just a tammy with her. So I go. You know I go. Give me your number I'll pick you up in an uber and then we'll go to the movies like hell, yeah, I'm just like oh shit, you're fucking rather disappointing cause. They will smoke weed or the premier. Whatever we keep in touch and then she comes out dilated for a movie thing and and anyway. Then she let it boil stood.

Sue she's, a working there digest the grasslands I mean like brown, bread. Nor did I guess we gotta be because amendment a cafe, brett, Ratner yeah. Do you get your rush hour and yeah, guided our backing? because I was seven breakfast in the beverly hills, Adele just to do it and bread Ratan sat next to us now, like ok- and I just start talking don't break the ice. Nepal. We go to his house till the stories about brightener, because stories about being friends with Michael Jackson, throwing water balloons out the window of a hotel and fuck people on the street him and the the hotel security coming up and be like and Michael's hiding under the bed and retinas like, and they got a writer like yo man we're getting complaints about people from water balloons and michaels under the bed, giggling shit and they're like yeah, Mr Jackson, Ghibli's out the water? Guess I'm sorry, you know, oh my god, That's gonna, be the crossover prague pugwash know that right, the one that explains

pod gets into the regular people right now. These this is for purchasing fancier like no one's gonna know mom's every extra hour and can't believe Adam ram brown got on the first part of the Jesus prayer. Now you know that was the one slam. I was waiting for, the sheriff as any any like any are going to be like oh that'll, be cool podcast yeah, but, like you guys will be the ones we have. Susan fucking Sarandon yeah man yeah. Zagat how Amanda positively Some are most tell sword. Zooms Adele I'll. Tell you what That's it! That's a clubs. What's in the gray club words impasse we get it, but here we ve had we have had on the export-

We had amazing guests, but this you can. Working by braver working ever bert, was get our get our white wail of pot guests, the one that we always want to get the whose job, stables yeah yeah I'll. Do it I'll go help? You get gotta, hey guys, let's say Stamos yeah alright, but you really want Stamos. Yeah dared because he's scared a little scared, a little people over oh yeah- he's like when I first met him. He was terrible. He was out of me really I did a bit about it, my in my special, but yet he terrify little people. So I need john steamers like asked guys My joints tables led him up. We gotta find that way in his heart. Tat connect him with humanity: Anna Maria,

because I saw rebecca romijn one time wow this story goes nowhere yeah! I like you and that's the way right there. I sarah I'm happy with it. You will probably it will do exactly you'd story. Bomb recognition is one of my favorite things in the world. There is little I love the voice of its very as their swords. we had a joke about like bad stories when he's like every just tell sewing like ten seconds. If you like, a boy story like that, it's not going anywhere. So you add details that didn't ever happen to be like. So this one time like Dave was I get the bar and he was all gimme shots and was like you down and then So you like, we were in a bar dinner fuck instead, like what I look like, I decided to make the story more entertaining here or there

Well last night? Yes, I'm fucking hammered. I didn't even see my new car yet Adam? I take it for a spin right as well, very bad yeah. I think I'll, just hop in and just sit in it prices rise, sound like I don't drink and drive or fake driving a dui. You can fake drive, you consider that in fact drive other times it carries. Petals Extended powers exactly one orders, like to see a little person back seat. I feel like you've ever been in a car with somebody who's like who's like sitting next to you and then the worse you watch them hit the brakes. Yeah is that's more like it? oh, oh, my little person for one year fucking, as you have rightly material, his grey driver, is the first time I got in the car I was like. I had never even thought about, and also me gotten, the car and member it's been like

What can you do this and then look over his login, because you don't know your situation? I embellished letters in the middle row with a pedal on top of a little crazy. I don't you don't put big wood on. You know the short round thing, for example, to do what not since skull stops bouncing. that will do yeah he's around yeah lady. You will call him DR jones yeah yeah, like wooden wooden blocks on his feet. I drove now. I don't do that there is there. excellent driver. But I will say that when a when there's a comic EU was kneeling empire names, bruce jingles as yet and I didn't I didn't get with him, we're using my passenger seat. and we we drove, who drown out nor northern california and I was driving in a cop well that next to us saw bruce through the black guy in the pan

to see me driving and the cop mouth the words to me. Are you ok the yeah yeah and finally, in all, I thought to myself was, and I didn't have the beard back then yeah it was always. Automobiles was like holy shit yeah this guy. This cop thinks that a black guy like and then kid a made him derive ruth signals by the way. Shouts approves signals, show that is a mere of raising shut up all night, the average bruce tingles. I shall briefly, here's to set of comedy once still knows there. That's a fucking Jim that society there I saw you set up one time with this have together and I never I Brasil said I think it also had a stroke, maybe or something yeah he's good. Now right do you have a stroke

I yeah, I forgot exactly I'm sure, Bruce will text. I think I think, or he was in a car accident, maybe I'll have to because those are two very different experiences we have. He ordered a sandwich didn't know. I think he bobsled it like those just like the complete we're, probably just going to burn. Thank you, Yeah d rayleigh. Thank you man almost for our fifth fucking twelve, women's we get for hours, but no, no I'm gone gone, gone nature. How those resident hidden fix me I'll be fine, we'll be fine. I guess what, if the like, hope the bond that happens is your comedy not going over? any guam references were one, and then we close out okay, alright, I'm gonna go on, but call by the way if you're listening to the podcast, still yeah,

though, if you're still with us and guess what I'm gonna go out on a limb and say a lot more going. Do have stuck with it at this point then not cast there's been like this. we haven't let too much time. Before something else has been like. Oh shit, oh yeah. What about backed by the way? If you, I took two hours in yeah right now: you're stuck in a gaga jumped into the gang age. It's like watching the first eight episodes of lost you're like well. Now I have to see this thing until the end I can't listen to use all right. Now is what about me home may come and ask me worm ill. Hey

the daylight, but I the words. A hate jude, although as I want to do, is grandma phone, but my phones in that fucking car My took it why Why would you why just one guam whoa that was just one guy that I'm going to be wrong about. All I want is just one guam fuck

I'll, never forget you guys, it has gained a veto by as global die. As long as I love you, too, angry makes. This episode was brought to you by the machine. Sister world here about to take the plunge on the world's fastest roller coaster. I hope it's as fast as the in store labs at eyeglass world when you drop in there, they make your glasses the same day. You should give it a whirl, just remember, to keep your hands and feet inside the eyeglass world at all times get two pairs of glasses for eighty nine dollars fast eyeglass world, the world's best way to buy glasses, eyeglass world dot com, to schedule your exam online and for offer details.