Comedian Matteo Lane, Podcaster Patrick Powers, & I put the "MAN" in Mancave. We talk about both of their experiences coming out as gay to their families, their first hook ups with women and men, getting bullied in high school, the word "faggot", and Mateo's & my performances on THE COMEDY JAM premiering on Comedy Central March 22nd at 10pm EST.
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Oh
hey guys.
brand new podcast and this one is pre fascinating
opinion
a show with general.
Matteo lane who you're here on this podcast called the goddamn.
how many jam, if you don't know anything about the goddamn comedy jam, then you haven't been garden,
listening
It's a show, I really love doing it's. The show I end up doing was scots tap. That I'm sure
air April nineteenth matteo did it. Materials performance was beyond amazing. It really wasn
and I knew that, but then I worked with
other night, and it was even fucking more amazing mean
in curbing you here. This is the broadcast, sat in the back and were fuckin just blown away. The thing I d
really fascinating about mateo mateo matteo is obviously openly gale. Here then a few seconds, if you don't know,
gay than you might be deaf in one of one or both of, but he talks about or not
any bones it and it's a different perspective than I
really how the park as gay men on the park ass before, but never
so out an opening young and this new culture
run in with two friends will talk about this again, I won't say their names, who were saying that
I let dudes suck their dicks and it caught me off guard. I did not know that that was like a legit thing and I
a tab, it old school. I guess
So I ran into matteo that night
After the conversation m material
It was a little shocked to both
the cool conversation. We were like we supply aghast and talk about this because look
societies changing if you're fucking. Forty four like me,
in and keep your eyes open of what
transpires is just a very fast
in conversation in my opinion- and I know I'm a good judge of what you guys enjoy. This
really enjoy a fascinating conversation, conversation about what it's like growing up gay. What it's like coming out, what it's like dating? What it's like everything?
and we talk about what it's like being straight and what it's like?
bullied and what its it's just a really fuckin moving
an hour and a half conversation that I believe is important. Look if I'm, if this podcast you know duncan trussell, is a long time to time ago. Told me
if you're not growing in your PA gas than you're, not growing as a man, I got pretty insightful thing. We talked about it.
late night company hosts and he was like tat. I d never really got to grow and that's fucking fascinating so anyway that
it is. Today's podcast is just opening an it in.
Helen you. It is nothing short of fascinating,
will this podcast and go man. I know another turn about. Second,
but I can turn it off. I say vague
as mateo showed up with his wife, what I can assume only is his best friend a really
those friend a guy who's got a very popular pod.
on on his own, it's called p, and
explosion by the way I just google.
I tried to find his name's pat powers, but I could remember his name
introduction. His last name I knew his name was patrick but and but he adds
so much to this conversation because he's forty three check out his podcast, if you're very open minded
If you're not open minded, you probably won't get a bunch of it. I will tell you
that is shorthand between each other that eta
I got lost in like yours impression that that material would do and I'll be like her, but but by the way, the just. It's not just the gazed up this fascinating in here materials italian max again, and he grew up in a street with nineteen of his family members like nineteen families of is so. This is just
really cool fuckin podcast, that's all I say, but patrick powers has his podcast Pierre S, explosion and,
we're both the same age. He grew up in omar you'll, find that out I'll, be in omaha that thirty first, a first, though, shows
I think, are sold out another sort out uncertain of the bee. I had this phone call today. I see what I mean.
says. I think we're adding a third show on one of the nights, because and that's next week- not this week and I'm home and I'm taking care of my body, because if you see me on the road these last three weeks, you know I've been going a little
irresponsibly wiseguy salt lake city on the thirteen fourteen and fifteen april, though shows are selling out quickly, is
so I would get on those tickets a show that
not. Selling out pretty quickly is a possible up. Giving third of it is a threat
sold out so month out. That's not bad at all, but but I know, there's a brand new clubs, the more
so you're. If you're in alabama I've never been element.
To stand up to check out stand upon bill. Why was commonly festival is the very next day next to three days
I'll be there are no or you'll be. I know there are no dog benson will be their job. Tat will be there. I want to talk about
chapels specialness seconds, don't go anywhere, yuk yuk calorie the weekend. After that detroit may forth in the crow football
room. I don't know what ticket sales are like there, but it's a smaller room and, I think, will end up ads.
show hopefully but get your tickets right now,
I shouted to get your tickets here tickets, then why'd. You know what I mean Cincinnati funny bone, the fifth and sixth of may and then crapshoot comedy festival. The nineteenth of may I dunno. If doug stand, hopes mentioned it
but me, and him are doing something together on the twentieth of may. I didn't mean to announce that, but I don't I just
of its observes gonna sell out. I'm sure you will note that, but not
tell you where had up doug stand. Hope will tell you cops.
Club, the ninth tenth of june and then sacramento the punch line
on the eleventh of sacrament is a place I started. I know
a lot of a lot of brought a lot of rogan fans more, but a lot of
people that I know hit me up and fight game sick up there than those of the dates.
and the city, orlando, cherokee, casino, Columbus, funny bone, islas birthday, pittsburgh, improv hilarity is cleveland or Houston. Improv stand up, live phoenix, addison, improv, helium, philadelphia, ST louis helium dc improv, tacoma, comedy club, the comic strip edmonton chicago megabus oop. I should not have said that he key house of bloomington comedy
I saw Dave chappelle as our special I will say. I had lowered my expectations because I know he's not in the clubs like he used to be, which is you know, despite common belief that Dave Chappelle is a god he's not he's just a dude. I ran into him in dayton, ohio and doc was running the club I was getting paid out of an if you haven't heard the story, listen for a sec and Dave Chappelle walked in and he has
backpack on he had written his motorcycle up. I think he was smoking a cigarette and I remember thinking who's this to smoke. A fucking cigarette. He didn't know harry shapes head and so will be better on the story. If I said he had a motorcycle helmet on but anyway
Organizations are mobile mozart moment, but anyway hid. It was really interesting.
I saw him and I got caught off guard and
number now jiving it that it was a scene of great white shark
propel. So is I've been such a standard of comedy gold for so long? It cut me off guard boat, we'll cut me off guard even more as we would have a quick candid conversation about writing material and he was santa can't right. I got nothing to talk about. I don't want to talk about. A new is just being real and I remember that moment. Realizing. Oh shit, man he's just a comic he's. Not I mean he's not the fuckin inherent savior to our art form. He is just a dude trying to write some jokes, the he thinks you're funny, and he knows that he's got an expectation too
deliver and that expectation can sometimes be overwhelming. It can sometimes make life a little unmanageable and I think, that's probably at times why he bailed from the limelight and and it's gotta be tough to deal with to come back. I think, for the most part, all of us will tell you that if you got that expectation, if you're just in the clubs, every single night, that expectation and that weight lowers and- and I knew going into this special- I knew that and I thought that and I I lower I would say to people- don't just don't make it into some
It could never be like when people will be like what do you think about a tell or chappelle? What are you talking about rock? What do you think about louis? What do you think about seinfeld all these guys that netflix signed deals with for sixty million? I was like hey
You didn't pay, sixty million, so don't go in expecting
sixty million dollars worth of entertainment. Just expect that sixty million dollars worth the people will show up and see it. That's all, but that's all, but it's just it's just it just going to be a good special. That's all just look for that
And so I watched it this morning on my cell phone. I started watching on my cell phone because I was like I wonder if it was taking a shit and I was like uh wonder if it's released yet I it's
the corner. I know Jim nortons mouthful. Shame was last week and an man I didn't expect much from gems, and it
Fucking blew me out of the water, and I was like tat way.
Was she going to the special for belfort? I started it on the toilet. I was taking shit on her stomach, some stomach problems with my green juices, and I will say this: I ended up watching it.
all my cell phone, because it was so good. I couldn't fucking turn it off.
It was so good
he's so he so talented in being funny without trying.
Obviously, I know he's tried and know that he's put the work into this special, but he's got such an ability to flip. Rightly say something in the middle of a story and and it's an it's the way he says it in the way it is, it is just roles out in the middle and unexpectedly enough,
I love about great comedy was one it's unexpected, but the way he says it is so fucking good and the the topics he chat. He tackles in this special and the approach he does it. It blew me away. I have been talking about it all fucking day and I'm
think there's one of you that won't watches special, but I will say you can keep your expectations up there, because its act,
in good. His last bit about.
Heaven Kevin heart, oh man, back the that storytelling
where he told our story, the fucking, the way he delivered his character to you and the package with which it was delivered and and the the all it's a great fucking special. So that's all that's my review and
line and the whole thing I ever came to say it. It had me laugh and so fuckin hard
It was. It was awesome. It was really awesome and the best part
inspired me to write. There's been a year, there have been a thing: I've learned about stanhope tab. It were. I figured out tat the better
at the end of the story, and it is like so simple. Why don't we all fucking know this, and I do this. What why didn't? I notice I was doing it, but the better the end of the story, the better, the end of the story, the better the story. If the usual suspects is
listing woven story, but is only so interesting and they you get to hear the ending and go back
in your head and relive other parts of it,
and and there's a story- I've been working on about being the first person jumping off the stratosphere that I just I couldn't it just was too long, and I was like don't fucking worry about the middle part. You worry about the ending or the endings, the best part of that fucking story. It's the best part of that story, just that no, the endings good stick on the ending and then just tell the necessary parts to get to the ending it here
so good at telling a fucking story. It inspired me and I've heard rogan say that about him, but it just inspired me so I know Dave's a big fan of my podcast. He like texts me all the time is like yo, be I you just so dope son. I know I'm kidding. Dave, doesn't listen to this,
I sold that so well that in the middle I was like yeah, I don't have to work, take acting classes fuck that was just fuckin rolling, Dola
teaser and so, but yeah check spells our special and today's episode has brought you
a comedy central, the comedy
preparing march twenty second at ten p m eastern standard time on comedy central. This show is
absolutely fantastic, and yours truly is on it April nineteenth Chris Hardwicke, our cow, a fina that is Jim brewer
if the two plus, who wrote a really nice article in the Huffington post today, you might check it out. It's about him being a lib lib, tard and and
well by the way, I'm not selling this article right. It's a really good article. Just go read it jesse, Tyler ferguson. I think he is the guy from modern family taryn manning who Ila met
and they connected on having sweaty hands hassen manage.
He's an Bora who, by the way, data to check that I'd dated not crazy, chester Bennington of lincoln park. Is there another chester Bennington they roach,
bennington of lincoln park odium axes in
J pharaoh's in it to your career.
Has any Montel joy
Kelly Logan's. Basically what it is us comics go up. We tell a funny story.
favorite song or solid, meaningful scots,
AP is in it. That's who I end up performing with on April nineteenth. I shouldn't have said that out loud. I shall let you seen it live, but he was such a cool, fucking dude, tiffany haddish steals the show her
yesterday, steal the show, and that is why he's here J, ladies and gentlemen, because I want you to
all to watch the comedy jam. All my friends are in it. It is such a great fucking show and today's guest murderers, it fucking murders. It put your hands together from the p n s, explosion, podcast, patrick powers and stand up comedian or an opera singer and a multi.
I wanted comedian but name lame. That's my wife for you. They lag oh yeah, that's the other fuckin
The exact phenomenon that no because they have no, no because if they, if they lay eggs, so basically the eggs- are there period that we
that out talking to my daughters, the other day and
abruptly. One of my daughter stopped eating eggs immediately. She was like or eating their periods, and so so I guess ultimate,
There was a rooster, they would fertilize the egg and then you'd have baby chicks right, but right now nothing comes out, but what's great is they do double yolks, so sometimes you'll get double yolks, which is to get weary of the devil. Are we we're not recording? Of course we are out. I always get weary of the double yolks everytime. I get it. I think well, that
Them getting cancer from this. Oh, I, though I may shirts, and not just a shrimp last night and someone told me there was a vain underneath the shrimp we mean that there was a underneath.
Normally, I d a shrimp from the top on the back, but they were pulling out this literally fluorescent blue vain on the base on the bottom of the sharp, I say from seafood
oh no fucking, the scott I mean, but so anywhere a a murdered it I don't yeah. I hate seafood, really yeah, that's not even a gay joke. I just don't like. As I don't like. I don't like fish. I don't I do like phil, I'm a vegetarian. Oh, that's right, don't eat any fish, I don't eat any fish and meat yum except fucked up cock. What did you become a vegetarian? Ninety six? Artillery than twenty years I was at a friend's house and the dad kept serving us meat dish after meat dish, and I just had it bacon and sausage, and I thought you know what I'm tired of the media. Really. How do you get your meat supplement? I don't and probably disintegrating on the inside tofu beans. I've been going, I've been going hardcore
like paleo lately like just having just stake, just any meat and they really raw vegetables. Like hardware,
How do I make a show that we're all recording talked volume again
Ooh yeah, you some great in your time. Here we also have a good. I do
that I do kill shakes like I do really aggressive, killed, jake
We doing I have. I don't have any green and will tell you it's so easy. What I do is I I I take a
also salary, half a cucumber of full green apple and then
much kills. I can grim and there's so I'll lay and we're talking about caille and a nice back house with chickens outside and adapt
resting on account number one party or in the u s head now, you're talking like this, I tell I mean
I partying so fuck your party, let's party, like people like lift weights, like you, you take care of yourself to party. I take what yeah yeah yeah. I take care of you as to where to go like amon recovery right now cause I've been partying very hard. These last two days now, like really bad,
reason like yours,
during a aid for the weak, and now you go back its it would be like
it would be like us starters like, but it sounds
creating like I have a. I have a regiment so like today I had coffee. I worked out this morning, but I mean I was like. I did not. I didn't sleep. I started this
conflict. The show where I do show in the morning I go to press the note to the climate
noon, and everyone calls and sick to work and put their hard core drinking chosen, like everyone start get to that
like nine. Everyone starts drinking at nine nine I am not am. I do have daydream, that's what it's one hundred
I just love drinking more than I like any drinking at all. People mean yeah. I just do my st patty's day one and it's it's massive, but you know four hundred and four in ten people
I think, showed up sort out its columbus funnybone and they start drinking at nine, and we didn't stop drinking in two
I didn't stop drinking until like two in the morning with J pharaoh.
And so, and so there
But then I had an aeroplane and go to college and I was shaggy I would hope so I don't have any at least
APOLLO Jamieson, like nursed biology, bottle of
that's what I call a lot of it, not a bottle of gypsy arguments and on the rocks. If I've I've actually stop drinking not stopped completely, but I've gone from, like maybe a drinking once a month. Gate is always party ten times harder than for I do, but I don't, I don't think I was ever.
The gay guy that ever loved I loved like new york when you'd you'd get like theirs. I think
stereotype of like a young couch, serve
gag eyes closed messy, but he still looks hot.
I am talking about. Any law is always get cocaine that you'd
if ever go to circuit parties or anything I didn't know cause I like to date drink I like to like to drink to the like and be in bed early. So what the fuck was that
lecture that just scared. The shit out of power power surge by the idea of certain parties are too late
like, I said, charlotte authority, you define it
to find a better because I've never been to me there is. It has other shirts on the drinking just water because they probably have taken ie and then coke and it's a pulsating loud music and tight tight, tight, tight bodies, and if you have, if you have it
If self esteem you lose them pretty quickly. So that's why I also stay away from because I like to drink and have fun and laugh and not be caught up in that, but they get more focused on their bodies. I mean he'd fit in
perfectly at idols. A high rate of about four, it's, my first. I guess it was a circular party new york was this was dating a soul cycle instructor didn't work.
And it will. I was because I dont know I pretended to live
but everybody was doing none that deep g or something jeez like
not really it's be showered liquid.
yeah they cannot dropping and drinks is too, and I literally was like on a roman diet. Thinking like coming to make out with you
It was just I didn't like I don't like it. I like to be it
I late at night and talking I'm just the kind of get I was in the army,
seven year old, gay man, I love opera
garlands dry sand
I they get into? How did how did how did like? How did certain divas kind of become gay icons yeah? What like? Why is that, and I have a couple of things one. I think that gay
Men were not represented in society for so long that we looked to the next closest thing to see ourselves as representation inciting alive
times gay men sort of have a relationship
related to women, because women are oppressed, but there's a masculine and feminine cos,
in a lot of these women like an almost that like having patrick use it.
to that we could mimic yet like with lies and barbara me they're kind of
women who are sort of out at the marlanx rag dirty and the start of even other women there in dragged right, the make up of the costumes
larger than life prisoners and the singing analyzer admit in them.
delays in an early. I, too,
yea daughter, Judy garland
that's a good impression. Thank you, but at the first time as perform from his me, I remember change of crazy. I don't do that needs,
you. Do shows an advert for
my from I mean, had vans right now. Let me wasn't. She was an arthur red and our gad array and I was ass. The daughter of a decent life and jim to vector
he met my mother and meet me ST louis. Is he, like you, have a large population of straight listen to jail or what I'm doing? No? Well, you know what's so funny is I don't know who my listeners are because a lot of times I'll meet like a lot of gave us sinners and especially with that video of you with your shirt off
I miss stearne has a lot of gay list, like gay people tend to go towards people who I know, gays like love, stern,
I also value we speak for the gay population, but we like people that kind of topical fuck off yeah yeah, I'm I'm I'm so I so funny
Just we'll talk about the other night I just found out. I have like a copper friends who legit look legit,
suck their dicks with straight guys on and I was like ip addresses, yeah I'll, tell you I'll tell you off MIKE who it is, and I would love to. I know these people yeah yeah yeah very well. Are you going to your heart?
but how
I was, and I was, and I I see I grew up in a very different age like I grew up when
they're bisexual was not a real thing. They like it's still not
I'm kidding, or does it not at my friends are saying they're, just bisexual and oslo he's? No! No, because I literally when I was a kid I was like, if I may, to joke about dissociate. If you put tat
percent of a dick in your mouth euro under present,
there was no, whose sliding scale and so an end, but it was also
not acceptable at all to be gaining. Like I mean when I went on forty four so and I'm forty three ok
when I grow up omaha Nebraska too. You know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about. I do as wasteful now and by didn't exist then, because, if you liked dick, you like dick suck one cock, your cock sucker, but now I do think people are a little more fluid. Women have been allowed it with the just wear. Wear, even if they're, not sexual they're allowed to touch and be intimate and dance and no one freaks out men. You weren't even allowed that, even if it wasn't a gay thing, but now I think men do kind of want to make some men want to experiment more with
and I'm not necessarily gay and I'd, like their phone numbers. Actually true, then fear thirty, three you grow up in omaha like where did this is going to by the way I have
Those of anything I say comes off. Offensive is giant leaps disrupt. Maybe less india has partly been doing. How are you doing your pact heller's lets them Europe august p and ass explosion? I gotta have said: there's nothing, you ve said that's more offensive
but they ve got you on their part, gas trust, business timbered compared everything to me. I don't think I can defend matteo but out, but I just as comics
colleagues have like a across the board. Like you not like you, there
then you can say to offend me at all. I dragged me last night
lady bunny. This is her job that mind. This is one of her jokes, so I was reading this girl and she said thinking.
Children- and I said you can bitch- governs the nothing
that- and that is all that whoever would like that lady bunny by the way, but
goin over not of residence. I get you can ask me so so, when did when did you?
sounding gay, because I, like you
listening to I go. I like the same. The I mean when I spoke probably squeezed out of my mother's muffin,
I really pretty early on yeah. I would imagine I would imagine I mean once you get past like two or three, where everybody sounds like a like a baby. I just and I have memories of like people early on even like calling me a woman
girl one getting confused by my voice
whether you are a merry your mother,
our mother, but yes that none. I thought I was there. I primarily pilot for five really ensued when did
I mean. When did you know you're gay, like the truest sense of it, probably not until high school, because I I just thought what I was feeling was, what everybody else was feeling, but then I realized that people weren't, you know I just thought everybody must be like.
Wanting to suck, though you know, Jeff, are playing on the soccer field, but then, as I don't think, anybody else wants to do this. You know. So I think I knew since I was like four five honestly, that's one of my early
met, not ok, suddenly, anything any care can really think of anything in terms, but I link nowhere that I was definitely different for sure. I definitely would,
at vogue magazines. When asked gloves all we had the bathrooms and,
get a longing depression,
thinking. I may never get a woman that beautiful and my life, our you, probably probably, maybe ten
and to me I dunno, but like I knew my sexuality, I like people that it's so funny. I don't think a lot of people a lot of straight people try to identify when they feel
out there were straight both back as they are living in a society that already caters to those feelings, but I had a friend
girlfriend who turned out to be gay
I'm a lesbian,
We are thereby web. I did like three check that all went gay after me. You didn't give offer good lesbian via how badly why they might think you are a lesbian.
I am a lesbian fluid. I like to connect with lesbians really well my wife and I make our own water, such as lesbian yeah. I know it's a funny. I had this uber the uber at my lift.
I'm sorry live driving holiday, whereas leaving drinks of you was asked,
questions and it was really rude and I kept telling him how rudy was I mean he would say something like. Oh how much I said I was an illustrated. I never tell people in the comedian,
living as I comes out of it. You are ill I buy so before I did you wasn't here before me, one of them. I know I really really is based in reality, so you may be right. If I didn't ever be, did the abnormal anybody like faggot, I was. This diet is illustrated tv, commercials and fashion ads for years. I was a store. Bernard is really when I, when I used,
during comedy. I learned very quickly. Don't tell me what you can't you tell people illustrated very few questions, but here is that this guy capacity,
the shins, and he was like, oh like how much do you make, and I was like that's a rude question and you shouldn't ask people that just f Y I'm going to give him one start. You'll tell you'll tell us after, but I'll tell you afterwards and so then he goes okay. He said he was asking about like a woman, and I said I wouldn't know I'm gay and he goes well. When did you find out? You were gay and I said: when did you find out? You were straight and he goes. I guess I always knew I said, then you just answered your own question because that's a really good answer, because it's it's. This is wonder, woman, wonder woman. I wonder woman the bug,
and not dinah girl an electoral woman. Yes, when no, when you felt thing- and I still to this day by the way I I started really figuring out parts of my sexuality in that, like this, how silly but there's stuff called quicksand born
but when I was a kid the superhero girls would get caught in quicksand and it would turn me on and like they get tied up and they go.
like the being restrained warm of like bondage, foremost form into anyway. Someone sent me
example. Those like all share did they make quicksand porn goes where europe elaborate ass, the river standpoint, another
I love learning new things. Quicksand play your his podcast and peanuts explosion there, that's when they discovered the fart queen yeah, there's a woman who makes her money turning guys on by farting through denim and on cakes, and things like that. So I don't know. If that's what turns you on, but I just love when I learn a new like porn term, but oh yeah, I almost got got and sounded one
with a sound it stick or other than some. It's like up your p, wholehearted yeah, oh, but am
by the way by the way note to listeners. Do not google sounding you'll freak out?
and all the gay porn sites will show up on your computer immediately. When I think of the more important question is, how did you almost get sounded?
you almost got it was to size to that owes a dull
matrix gimp for a day for tv show, so I got cattle prodded them.
I got new lamps. I got tied up, it was fun, it was really insane and one of the things they were going to do was just handed to you that I pay higher than for a tv show, for you know, for I was at a show
herbert right, a dangerous jobs every day and so
One of the jobs are fucking, my my body of work, ray
of desperation. I mean, I actually think you do a great job of creating your own content, although I mean doubt, don't wait for other people to tell you what to do you're just doing it.
There's so also almost got sounded and that as soon as I got sound, it was I who shit man this lady mistress isabella come it's really interesting that I guess it's in
for people to know what their turn
two and then there are certain things that show me and I was like a fuck, that's it in a button like, and I can't imagine I have. I can imagine-
What it would feel like to try to deny that took for me to be
something like like a big risk. If my wife put on rubber gloves, I literally
fuckin, unlike washed, the dishes dude really
oh my god, and I highly. If I smell them, I fucking lose my ship
really the shadowy uneasy lay I could just walk in france and rubber gloves. I could literally cannot. I tell you I didn't is at the same time, though, my only gave all I've ever had was brad pitt and fight club when you ve got those yellow rubber gloves, like everyone, fuck brad pitt except me,
everyone else, what about that when he was very universal, jazz wrapped and about the rubber gloves. I have no idea I've, no clue, but mrs isabella kind of connected
my point, is I can a man like I wanna,
I knew I was straight based off of later, but
But it's actually say that cause. You go you. I guess everyone
always ended. I've ever been turned on those like five. By, like a music video guy was wearing leather pants was the first time I was in a guy, we're leather pass before, and that was you know, making everything down.
there's hum, is, as was the leather and the manager,
the abattoir, specifically the man in the leather pants and eimer thinking, will that's. I like that
remember. One time like I can get a like movies. Is that like music videos, instead
I can't really models. Is it like when a thing is it really young, but then in the middle school
was really aware of guys and being turned on, and you know
put your younger than us right now, I'm your authority. Yet so did you grow up, not one of them now either now or wasn't now, three hours
we gave now the squid logs and youtube and instagram it's like. I think I d, like an idea.
In self identity and like being unique, as is celebrated where, when I was
middle school. It was not a bit about conforming in being like everybody else, and if you weren't they
everybody else you were, you know ridicule for it. Of course, I was a feminine running around with the hang out with
girls and guys we're just always sort of like turned off by my
g, and so I was really made fun of a middle school- was the worst
that was the worst of it. Yeah was horrible
You know I thank god for women. I always think gay men
women would be we'd be dead, but then they eventually but
You they get up and they get married. They don't need you anymore so rapidly.
Yes may also be working poor. Three, my best girlfriends have gotten on that ship and it sailed. They are now with their husbands and we rarely speak really but best I mean like grew up together best friends, you, but that's also understandable, but you know they find
husband and that's like a boat into sailor away, hesitate brother? Your brothers gave him elder brothers ass again and my cousin
because a grip on the same block is no. Do you believe that you are there, because this is a genetic? Yes, yes get! My mom
there's italian talent and mexican unheard grant her father. So she trusted interested to see how that works into turning uk vertically
these two who with a delegation. That is why so, we think it's genetics, because my mom is one of seven five of the seven
mexican italian, the other two. My grammar, remarried, sicilian, artists, italian accounting right. So the three of the five boys on the mexican side are gay three of the five.
and that everyone else on the sicilian sigh which I think is four are not, and we think my uncle might. We think my ants uncle
as ever names, but he would we think he was gay because he was beaten up and
school and he was in his mask any. He had out like a women's hair salon. He did theatre, he was a feminine like we instruments in his eye. He was definitely gay, so
wonder: if we are wise, it gets them back. The consignment we're all gay because we're mexican but yeah, so we advocate, if I, if it was genetics, that would be the most proof that I have
I was thought I was thought it was. I thought it was offensive to say: homosexuality was a choice. I was thought that, but now there's
but the lip the left has gotten so fucking. In others we are sigh fire or whatever
cause, I kid to spirits. Queer queer identify the letters to
Article details to lgbt our duty to seek the repeal I mean. There's queer, doesn't necessarily mean you're gay. It could mean that you're an ally. It can mean that your your questioning, but there's
another letter. You were at jurassic too yeah you just queer as a sort of catch all for what you think, you're saying and not an offence of weight to bear who work to identify the square, but where you kind of can be everything I had or that cultural, but of where everybody gets a metal.
Not now everybody's gay or have we have attached to teacher in college. Tell us that that the everyone was was gay in that area
we're being class, violent, greenhouse custom, gay
I entered a woman, it was a woman. Everyone in this class is huge. I'm roberta lesbian, yeah what'd. You think she was a lesbian. She must have been, but the there's a there's, a faction that says that it is not genetic now, because they're they're afraid that if they do say that it's genetic that they'll be able to isolate that gene and Karen
and parents change it or or which is so slippery naked zeppelin exude will have an abortion now cause cause. I said to my wife the other day I said: if we were just talking to go, if you could
Take a pill that would ensure that your child was straight. Would you do
she said no. I said so funny, though, because you took prenatal vitamins to make sure they are healthy,
like I'm, assuming that if they had that pill, people people would lie dont think its genetic in the same way that your eyes are blue brown. I think it's too made. It really is just like other envisage a genetic make up her there's also
is that show that some went off it could be from the hormones that the fetus
releases and the body releases and a stream brain development. So there's a about there's a bunch of explanations as to why people are the way they are. But do you think on average? Do you think gay men or smarter than straight men,
Will we were, I think, you're trying to get you is. I think any time dissolve answer the question and you do
when in dumb gig guys, it's yes,
it's your is. Are you out of your mind? Yeah, like every guy, I know, seems to be like intelligent. I don't really run into like, like I mean dumb straight guy
I either a dime a fuckin. Does he isn't? I think anyone whose sort of grows up having to look from the outside in
not necessarily smarter, but just grows up quicker or is more aware of their surroundings, which I think people
times- are not aware of their surroundings. Like a lot of new I've been doing stand for five years and people. One thing
sets me and a lot of gay men get. This is why you found you figured out your voice so quickly take so long for people to well. I, since I was thirteen-
I was having to look from the outside, and so I was
We are aware of not only how other people felt of me and society, but how I was acting in there was a constant need.
To check on myself was I was I walk. A certain way talk a certain way. Look a certain way. I mean when you're just hyper aware of what you're giving off and trying to conflict avoid conflict. You you get
our real quick you're. So you know you have course. I learn my boys because I was trying to deny what I knew for so long, so it getting on stage in being myself is not the biggest challenge for me in comedy where I think some stray people where it is so easy to live in real growth.
But everything is sort of made for you and your gender is already set for you. You know you may not
as aware of your feelings or what what you're tit? What takes you off? You know, I think, that's really interesting
the most serious I've ever been in a pond cast by the no other died. This is by the way, britain. I can tell him we're fans likes it cause though I get engaged if I may say that this at the way, the first or second vague answer me
Not really start was a first guy. I knew to take that word out of the vernacular and stop saying it altogether. This is probably five years ago and is before time
ass, came out and explained to everyone what that word meant to how that word affected him,
growing up and and the problem is that I will say that
days. When you do here it, it does, have a real reels. Snapped it, sir. It like it,
much bigger jarred advise stated a show will specifically allay audiences, but when I
that figure last night in the room, and then I said who is gay.
and no one raised their hands. I said so what are we talking because they are now trained if it's the right verb to not even say that we're think that word, which is progress, but it is but it's something about. I I find that we say it and sort of take the power away.
From it, but it's still a hard words, and I am also one of the reasons why the paths because when I came out of the closet as eighteen, my brother and we're not close my brother and I got a bad person or does not close. He gave me a city with a pack has turned on it, which
your access to high minded response, and it was his pack ass. It was three gay men and I was eighteen listener.
and they had a segment on the shows that when you're called a faggot, let us know so. People would call the show
was walking down the street and car rolled down the windows and screamed faggot at me and then ever that are well. He was asking for it anyways. I have saved me that that that really wave. Needless the anger behind that worried, because I was so in fear of that work is called it a thousand times to hear you ve been called it. I've been called it a thousand times too
very different media difference. You know you're, not I don't know, that's the right way to say, but the like you'd, you heard that didn't go home in vienna, like all I can do, is to eat. We found when what we would hear that
without we ve been discovered. Yes, are we being allowed in an all hell's going to break loose there? Are you heard it? And yes, even like the word, but can you still have that longing for women and they are utterly probably private eye? We ain't that right proper. All
yeah. I've yeah, that's! Actually, I would have very was blob in our stomachs
No, it's true, I mean yeah. I gotta take it. If you were here
No, no! No! No! No! No! I was never hurt by it. I was
They called it in like when I heard it
as more of like a friendly. Well, I think I went to an all boys high school. I did a term that was also thrown around, so I don't think it wounded everybody. I think they just.
it's a term of endearment, almost funny yeah, it's it's. There was a guy that sat next to me all growing up. I went to all boys catholic high school too. Who is now gay he's out? He lives in
he's an actor knocking vetoes crazy.
he saw me. I've had to run ins of guys that I grew up with that since come out.
And one was in new york- and one was this guy- he was doing headshots with my roommate and my roommate said: lorenzo was like hey where'd, you grow up, he said Tampa. This is so funny. My roommate grew up in Tampa. He goes really goes, where'd you go to school and he goes jesuit and he goes.
europe has a high school here where it where it up, and I crave rap
he goes. He goes, my roommate went to jesuit. When did you graduate and he goes ninety one he goes hold on and he brings him down and the guy looks the guy
immediately. It's like fuck there's all. I have to explain so he goes down and he goes bert. You know him and I look at him like I'm, not gonna say his name. I just feel like it. I don't think it matters, but I don't want to say it for this guy, but let's just call him dan. I go damn to fuck you doing here and he just looked at me.
And he's like. I'm gay and I was like okay that was like in my head. I was like yeah. I think I knew that in high school by didn't, say anything and he's like I'm doing headshots.
and then I was like due to synergy and then the other almost
little brother, my fraternity. He came out. I was walking by bryant park in new york
saw em like doing nails corner no,
the puerto ricans guy had his hand in his back pocket, and it was so funny. I didn't recognize it. I didn't notice that until like, but he's like, there's a dude's hand on my back pocket and I'm like, let's go
calm down again I go day what's up and he's like Khyber.
I'm gay and those like- I was like- I know like because he was never losses virginity. You like didn't
we wanted to save himself, for I haven't found the right girl yet yeah and I was like I was supposed to be working at Michael's, but but I
my head. So funny is that I don't think I said the word a million times grown up. I would never say it to someone that I, assuming they were gay, would say to my best friends who, by the way, could have been gay. I just didn't know it
but I would have never set it to the to dance. I just thought. I always think also that it was the time that people were not as
pretty aware of what I
people and what words manton. I'm not saying that takes away
the pain, though on it that it inflicted in a lot of people, but I think now people seem to be really aware of words.
what they mean and double meanings, and not what you can do, what you can't say and pronouns and it's it's. It's like it's become a whole other thing. It's!
It's so interesting, though, did you have a bully in high school? I dunno
will do who will tell the day, but I wrote him a couple of years ago because I saw him on facebook and he was had kids and it looks like they're having the time of their lives, and I wrote them. I wasn't in the friends that I wrote him and said, looks like you're happy. Your kids look happy. I hope that you don't raise
b as horrible's. Oh shit, go my high school experience. Can you just show me? Will you
it's like honestly, I will, I will say his name, but actually responded and like I could tell he was truly apologetic, but I thought I just can't see you and also a lot of friends. You know he can see on facebook. You can see your friends that are friends with him. Like you fucking traitors, this guy was a monster like none of you should be talking to him. Now he is he's.
You know he's an adult and probably is probably pretty nice, and what did he say? He just wrote back and said. I'm sorry that I was awful, you know something like that and I just don't see. I think I think I gave half or so I give off a very vulnerable
sensitive vibe. Here you don't come some straight guys. I think don't come off leather, I think of their lives. They, like
I voted in themselves. Are they know who they are, that they were not vote not threatened by the somewhere else being gave us some? That's all
one of the other like one is Edith super threatened by some as being get. This is me, but I was in high school and then the
It'd be like they just didn't, give a shit. Some guys were just totally confident in themselves and didn't give a shit. You have that vibe, where it's like you just said. I don't think you give a shit, but
also got bullied aggressively most, but it was a
was catholic school. So I think you know what I'm talking about. We are that there were. There were just fucking offers who were dicks, who, if you
we're the guy wearing a trench coatless in the smiths viewer
the norm and they were like fuckin like this bitch up in any. They find your weakness or whatever they perceived there. Your weakness to be so, you didn't have to necessarily be gated, also be bullied by those same people. That is a good thing. We ve got eyes he felt like and what is that? A vigorous if your friend Liebowitz always
says there is no no such thing as democracy. It's not natural in humans. Look at a playground, you'll see immediately that one kid is in charge of the rest. Follow have leisurely. Lookin causes
yeah is what this kid kind of looks like Matt braungart. It looks like a nice yeah that I it his hair looks like a shitty julius caesar from Hell, but I do think we probably a lot of us will probably were bullied in highschool, but you know just for what
if you guys got a very different type of bullying that I got, I think if you put it in, you said it perfectly where we feel like we've been discovered, because I think found out I found out. I think the difference is that some people are bullied and it hurts and some people are bullied and it is.
This thing where like, if you know being gay, it's like, oh god, no one else. You just feel like. No one else can know you have that you just have to protect that secret as much as you possibly can or you're all health hell will break lose, though I mean your mom might have to just you know. Oh there's jimmy again looking at porn, I mean but like if anyone in our world knew we were like thinking about men. I think that would have been very hard. What did your mom city when you came out of the closet? She blamed my friend. She said she thought like didn't put you up to this, like I have done it
but neither do us devastating, wasn't norma with things we were liking, normalized incorrectly rank or so afraid of people. Finding, as I make a joke,
gay person I saw on t v was c three p. Oh yeah, he didn't have a yeah. We did
about who is going to go see through closer british he and suit,
is that on your seth meyers, georgia
my oldest and I watched your seth Meyers set. The other night was right right before we did got them coming out, cool and, and you in it you do you do some straight guy voices, yeah and georgia does hold on. I can't tell is
gay or is that the act georgie's definitely go. Look at my sure as he goes, but dick within and I'll make you gave it away. I am glad that they allow them I allowed in the bud.
because they have you can do a regular voice. Why didn't you just do that all the time? I think this is what
sounds like georgia issues like that's. Why
jack and I should say, but she was working towards that. We ask the brain work in trying to figure you out. She was like I'll wait, I'm confused and they choose like hang on
he's not really gaze doing that for us act, and I dont know he's really. I go
We are even I reckon with whom you
I mean that I, like my falsetto you're, a really interesting person that I like that.
literally go. I can't
and I ve, even gotten close or will be able to close to scratch the surface on the spot. Cast because like as soon as you go, I was an illustrator. I sang
there's like three things already, where I go, you know not lotta comics have that backstory lotta com- it's just like I wanted
the door. The comedy club like drawing tv,
our souls and sing. You drag rains that yeah and that its industries
I don't want any visa. Yes, it's it's because I'm crazy people dinner is it's a brain.
your senses
your senses in brain development start overlapped, in other words like that they they eventually find their own paths like they could become separate. Mine did
So when I see numbers are letters I see color or when I hear me,
that guy see color. So everything is
or associated like unprovoked, too is read. Not you can become confused
If it's a weird thing, it's it's, you have to look it up because I'm going to sound insane, some people have it. They taste shapes like it's just your brain.
Makes us makes
it with things that you can't help it. I just sing the number two. You see red
when I see two like I'm looking at,
A over there, I'm seeing a
The aim is, I know, that's yellow. My brain is telling me that that is yellow the is green has. Therefore, how is that? How do you like
I know that you brought some of it going to be hard to explain what I am. I still don't understand. I've known him for years, but I just love that there's this weird cork about on that. You can say these things and he sees some. I have
One other person who has this behest anastasia end of it
we'll get. You can look it up and I took it like I buy met with people who, like look
If a person is these other like I do, they wanted me be worse than a seizure and I do tests and something that so I did like us anesthesia test with everyone, others group orator, but
at one other person who had a and he wasn't she at the time, but he knife
wait until he was re, transience transitioning, because he's a dude now do,
we had a so much in common. We, both we, both men, are screwball drew the same. We same drawing the same, which is an artist when you see another honest approach are drawing the same way as you. You tend to cling onto each other, because people approach
illustrations very differently, but Heaven I felt,
way on the same wavelength. We also above musically inclined we're both. I mean we just our brains, sort of work.
together- and it was interesting as it was the first person I ever met- that I could sit down and talk to about like let's list
music can talk about what we see another sound. So we are no. No. This sound does sound weird, but I think it adds layers like you were saying these layers to him. I've known him for years and it's still it's kind of I'm still trying to figure him out or evaluate, but, like you just have all these fascinating layers. I think the coolest thing about what's happening with media and in that conversation like that, and this comes up- is that you start going. Oh, I got that shit too. Not that, but, like I remember long time ago, I couldn't figure out was wrong with me cause I I would. I would
think really insanely horrible thoughts, and I couldn't stop it and then patrice o neill, and I were in scotland and I made a joke about it. I made a jet try to make a joke on stage about
and betrays I get you got intrusive thought and I so what's up
cause. It's like a like. It's a mental.
The water he goes. I got it too. He was like yeah and he was like you remember my joke about. He had a great joke about
some lady one
the holder's baby, and he goes. I can't hold your baby cause immediately, I'm like fuck it. I want to throw it on the ground and he and he's like you're not supposed to think like the
and then she's like no, please hold it and it's like come on fuckers. You don't want the baby on it like she looks she's going to try and give it to end. So I was like oh wow. I got intrusive thoughts.
It's also a part of o c d. I have a c d a little bit. This isn't one of my best friends has that
where the right now I've bad has
I got it. Yeah he's we're talking about like the darkest moment in my life with obsessive, compulsive nes was, and I had I had my first one night stand in new york and put away I just met. A comic will will talk to you about her later. I think you know her, but never problem with the beard shut, the fuck up so
and so so I had my first one I stand and I was working at barnes and noble on astor place faggot in the end, so I could there was a gay guy that
that had just come out of the closet. He was from the mid west and he was mother. We worked together and they
my introduction into anything
I never even knew a gay guy beneath his just discovered
he was fucking all the time he forgot out of a europe came in with a black eye. He fucked up out of a lot better
night, raw fucking eyes reuse like eat. He was our, can get an answer.
out of a laugh better. I may produce or myself like that. If I was something that happened to me, like I'm my name
It was happy hour just got locked out of a loft bed, I'm here for the job yeah. He does your credit. He was. He was concerned that he had gotten herpes, I think er. I don't know what it was, and so we were talking about it. He was like I'm freaked out. I think I got something I dunno, but he was fucking a lot and I was like
and then I had a one night stand and immediately my brain and I'm with him I'm feeling his energy. He has the medical book and he's looking at it and then I'm in the bathroom- and I start looking at my dick and I convinced myself, that I've got something and I start spiraling so
fucking bad. Oh I remember, and this is also a gag I'd, take them and throw them into the game at all. It takes is one day he was sucking dudes dicks at night clubs like on the rag like he was. You told me about this night club that I've been doing egos go back
curtain? That's where everyone's fucking and also what and apparently there's this big
on the other side of our pig, my head through their deeds, dams down the me
and I went to a place in in a war. There's a place called buccaneers bills. Were that happens all the time
yeah, but and for some reason, even though it's like one of those it looks like a renaissance painting of hell in the basement, I mean that's what the the visual looks like of this cake lover, but there's.
oh irishwoman, unlike her early hundreds, whose is absolutely earlier, hundreds is she's the door guy. So, like always like
be men wearing no, no closer walking inches. They have a good time later. There's a place in rome like that. My friend took me to add it was a bath house and you
and they had like one room, it was like a normal room, a room that you could smoke and watch porn and then a room that was literally a black room. I mean it was like the you couldn't see any you could see nothing in there and you just go in and I did not go and I sat in
cigarettes and watch tv with my friend, jesse and jesse was like
we should go may made for each other Julie child. I would never be able to not go I without poor, for I was there are smuggled cigarettes and there is like this chinese, italian man speaking to us anyway,
it's like. When are we going to go in the room when we are going to go in the room, and I was like no not that saw like we just kept yelling at him, not now yeah, it was kind of scary. There aren't black rooms for you.
just half an hour late. If there was, it would still be just due to the huge about grinder women like no one would ever put
I brother, who is straight, is very jealous of the gay community. Like he's like, I just love it. If there was like, I got something that I could truly drive over a woman's house. I hunker knockers like stick one in and like never talked to her again he's like adjust to. It doesn't work like that. Here's all these stories of me and my friends have just like someone will come
literally just for like one type of thing and leave and never bother you that just doesn't happen or two. I said to Tom Segura and I terms, girls, a comedian he's a probably we're really close friends and so
we did, this weight, loss challenge and then rogan flew us up to san Francisco. We flew first class got loaded on the flight. There went to the
Calves goals. They warriors games that courts, I've fuckin smoked. We got high shot a great fuckin staked interstate at the four seasons. The next morning were drinking tito's disorders.
On the flight home in the middle of the flight home. Both a little high, he just looks at me and just goes dude. If we're gay is what it'll be like, and I was like all the time I was like fok and he was like just I mean just.
a great fucking time laughing our asses off, I you know you fit. You would think that, but I think a lot of gays, their demons get to them. I mean, I don't think every game,
just like live in it. I think those
Still a lot of you know we're so, but but the other time know then that there aren't getting think it's the cause. A lot of games are on
as children wise for me to into buying and adopting the mainstream way of doing things, so they have a lot of freedom to like. I think they may not go to all those sports things you referenced. I think my brain melted,
that I wasn't sure what you're saying that the cavs game, I think, calves. I think you are thinking speaking
I'm not sure I might have had a stroke or not sure what he's saying? But yes, but it's that freedom? It's. I think that that's the thing you probably you were talking about with your friend was just his ability to like this whole day can just be
I thought I saw you with a rather than its booze or drugs exports are movies, are, did black rooms where you can to talk of dixon all have
By this I mean I have a lot in common with my wife and I love her, but at the end of the day, she's, a woman and I'm a man and we have very different, wants and needs out of life everything my history,
we'll taiwan, like men, trying to get women or women a lotta contact information. She wanted
huddle last night, Jesus Christ. She like I go we're watching black sales and then at the end of the night she's like. Could it be possible for us just to lay in bed and cuddle? And I was like I can try
and then I was like an irish. I gotta have that acts yeah sees us like,
It is the what what is it? What does it take to make a woman combat, like I thought, like it's solid eye contact until like telling them you care and
holding up like a four o one k yeah like oh yeah, showing him your four o one k that we're safe, I'm helping put the next year where we're good and then she starts to juice. I think he got enough in your bank account that you're going to you know, came in knowing nothing about women's sexuality and start take on women, but I I think yeah I was. I always hear like my
I was talking about like how hard it is for, like guys and girls like it's like this, that it just sounds like this such a dance you have to play, but because men and women- really, I don't think
in each other you're in a in a lot of ways, I think a game and there's just a direct like. What's the it's, the the the thing your friend who was saying it's like the man, the male energy. You know you are doing everything but fucking.
We're doing everything by finding a bite. The villain. Imagine you to the two men. With the same, like energies, I mean that's, who don't wanna cuddle they despots
I thought you know. Oh, I didn't already know. I'd come home and I'd open the door and I'd go. We've already terminology used to make a joke
and I go. I'm scan wrestle fuck, you try to hide and he just run.
I bought them a little bit of a semi small, but extremely do a lot of gay stuff. Dude I'll tell you right now I get gay jokes, meaning like like like liza. No, no, no like like making like being gay with you
friend is my favorite power. Is my favorite last time to know but like like, like like last night last night, I was with my body eric and worth checking out a gal sins and I'm sitting with all the cart with groceries, but he's getting vodka, and so here we go back in line and some of those can. I help you and I just went out o money for my boyfriend that any that doing that is straight eyes.
so much for conform like like what. Why do you think that, as I have no fucking idea like but like
but he Etienne I used to refuse to allow each other now nothing to gaiters blue each other. Just
fuck each other's dicks until we blow girls but like we used to
who knows, he's gonna sound get ahead it, but what you say
we wish to see who would tap out first like so what
You Jack, opting out. As I do. I don't know my mouth and comfortable now know like in public. We would pretend to be dating and we would see which one would stop the game first and below
like at one time we were in line, and he was I honeycomb here and I was like far started like it was just like it. It would end he Joe
it's more about seeing how uncomfortable you can make people around you might be making each other uncomfortable yeah like that was what is more about all inclusive everybody. I've got oh hello, let's fucking, I love that. You have a house phone, I mean that's,
landline letter is for radio, I mean it was there
of all who was just talking to your phone? Was the devil com
Jesus Christ, I fucking hate
this phone in here my wife, like you needed just in case
in case from all I'd like this, the up, I don't I'm one one. I do calling to radio show. Sometimes, and so you can't it's better- have a landline
under radios. I think you're, the gay thing you're talking about too, as as a comic you, I probably like to push and see what the reactions are. I've I've noticed this with. You know the comics I've met through him too. It's it's like you. It happens to be you're using gay as the the the meat the medium to do it, but I think he just wants to see what the room does. You know like what kind of person does my cousin and I used to? We would do we pull up to like a red light.
then he'd be in the passenger c and we'll get right next to the window, the person he would start for wailing, his arms and losing it and screaming and just like like- and I would of course not react, and we will see how long it would take with this personal
Why would they not react and most of the times people try their best to pretend nothing's going on all there's a person flailing and freaking out in the car?
roger screening in the hot crowing like a chicken, but then
Are there not was? The answer is to give us do you? Are you in your cousin close? Like we talk, I think I was literally. These are all my text from him just this morning. Oh really talk non stop all day every day, really all day every day, and maybe if you spoke to him, you you wouldn't be able to tell who's talking. We have the same like mannerisms voice everything
yeah. We both didn't get along with our brothers, but we grew up next to each other and were the same age. He grew up on the street yard, nineteen kids, all my cousins, yeah. I hear that yeah and my
and if I clear up I you know I exaggerate, but I did grow up my mom's when I was seven and she had and all her brothers and sisters have kids at the exact same time. So I grew up literally with my cousins. I mean I am not making a joke. Probably four days out of the week, I was with the
cousins or it was like you, we'd be eating dinner and my uncle mike would just burst and he's like. I can't fit this turkey in my freezer. Take it you know like that's. I would if I didn't like what my mom was making I eat at my aunt cindy's house. Like that's the kind of
I grew up at his, so fucking coolly were very that was the like. That was,
most italian thing that I got from my mama. Her family is mostly will look. My mom makes gravy but like ours,
more about the actual actual culture of ITALY, where we, it was all about the family. All by MIKE, I saw my grandparents realistically three days a week growing up. They were just always in my language, aunt where'd, you live in Chicago,
Why wouldn't like like what area of chicago linkedin heights grew up in alexandria? Next, our hair, ok yeah, but it's it was
but my cousin, who is also gave me we didn't know each other, were gay when we were little kids but he's also an art
She lives in new york now and ease and men's fashion, and we were just having because we, both of our brothers, we're not close to
but we had like a similar energy and we were
inseparable, I may use by. I still think he's my son.
It's not like, isn't it like a lover way, but I think people can be. You know just like a tonic yeah like a
action in the areas. Yeah he's my best friend here. That's interesting note what why
How are we, when you are your first sexual experience, probably lay
thirteen I made out with a girl. You are running grandma.
there are now she was dead.
Haven't I made our day out there now I'll, try and date when, unlike at work at Michael'S- and I did this girl francesca- who I still talk to she's great sucks, I broke up there on the yarn section. Gaeta me, with a broken boyfriend who lived in his moms basement, it was horrible normal. I could never do you.
You dated women right like in high school finger too few women and what I ve never happen,
you never voted chick notice, doesnt. My digit this my fingers did you pocket jerk? No, never I'm a gold star game
shut up. Those that area scare is very scary.
My brother's there is a seven or eight years older than I am and I'd see their playboys and I just like my eyes couldn't settle on that. The vagina just looks too weird and then years later, when I felt it and saw it, I was like ooh the movie like when someone touches something and they can, like you know, see their history or like some of the fibers, like I just felt
years of oppression. If I were to follow this any further so funny when I first saw the diner I looked at it the same way, sir Edmund Hilary must have looked at everest like I've got to fucking. Go there long. You said like when you re not just from a pub the vulgar bodily by the same thing with have it. I've got to have also try not to sound like miss sergeant s. I think like it's like gumption women. Look, look it up.
sister. I are talking about dicks, you know her and her friends like air, like you know they like didn't, understand like it came out at you, and is it going to twirl and spin, and I think it's like every doesn't it well pat. Do we have a world? What we do
the phone, so I think everyone's, like afraid of each other's castles. Fortune fencer has a great joke about when she was giving a guy a hand job. She was like
I make it like work like you know. Shit like, I think, does it works yeah, because we've just gotten as vital as a huge lesbian.
Ok here she doesn't know other honeys people of amber of only seen. Her do stand up once meaning like in.
personally, she made me laugh.
Strategies
so funny and she's. Also like then isis, oh, she so cool guys
I have to tell her. She was funny and I think she thought I was a fan and passed by me and I was like okay now. What was your first gay experience? Sexual like a like a sleepover like guys, humping, each other
it's stuff like wait? Wait I'll, walk me through this yeah. That's like pretty much, I mean nothing big I mean guys are like, like truth or dare like I mean I was like not taking part of it, but it was like the same thing like straight people acting gay like as a joke. Oh yeah, but I mean first, gay experience was in college with this guy made the worst choice. It was this guy who I think, when you're
out of the closet, you'll, just anyone who can get rip you out of that closet, you'll just take it by the way. It's the same with being streep. I didn't I didn't get the
I want it all the time the ones that were there took everything I could get out, not
words art as you would like rap himself and wire, and as I go do you
I mean we like we we made out in his like laughed studio,
I got in front of you out of aloft this way. No! No. He never fucked me out of a lot. We never fucked. We never had sex. The first guy had sex with was a good experiences. I won't say his name, but he's like no, no, no, no! No, but that was a great experience as my friend's friend and we had sex on her couch and it was nice and he was sweet and it was a good experience.
Bigger than you like his dick notable both here. No we're like the same you how it was like another telling. I you know I like I was like out. This is an attack better looking than you
yea super hot, really how yeah yeah? No, I don't think
of my looks to be out of you, but I don't really good. Looking do
He is like that. You're really ratio the sure now
as we like, but it is more vigour and I have been given a week or so that yesterday
hi- I am. My sister- has put me on a dive gained, like fifteen pounds, the past like of universal. Yet my sister's, like I, have baby pro just like a worker like fitness sailing in his age, painter solved
The country like trains. People like her whole life is that world now she I know is like a physical fitness instruct
I know she was. Oh yes, she says she's like a judge for these competitions and she knows other people like the same.
comedy works. I get the whole world legacies in that world and she's like rats,
well known and that world, and so I just
although one day and was like. I just want to feel better about how I look and fit into close in such a case.
Thereby genes are about this issue.
by ever since you, I've never had paid attention to genes really but view,
talking about your genes, the other night I have seen that is like at all, I see on, like fuckin good looking,
for those jeans, these ribs up to yeah yeah yeah, I want to say even like Jay Pharoah, had them on the other day and dresses very well. We, when I saw him like a month ago- and he had like this
really nice leather jack, like he dresses very well, he dresses really will also in good shape, he's a good guy. Like all jack, I told him I was with
it's an an extra cigarette, always watching J do stand up in. It was a sleepless hooded
the energy and I was like I was like of sin. The batteries
destroying unused old, sometimes new stand up and you're looking at young kids fucking killing it, and I just go I'm santa next to skirt I go, who the fuck does
they end asleep in a shirt and sir girl looks at goes your shirt
right now, but you know you know bob- did our performances, shortlist, I've been driving done anything
stage with a short on in years. He has
you have actually taken. I was half way through. I lost love, you and
The communism and I was in a tank, tops us basically shortly
then there is one gay guy in the eye, and so this one would make it during
instrumental break. I just, as is the case thing you ever think of that me that it is they who are the best minds are, and this one there was cheerings I can make it cares. I rubbed off my sharon's that where's that guy
and he like raises Hannah through my shirt item the lens.
Maya went and got my sure I came out after they did. The interview germans, like user, should back thinks Jeremiah
I watched my your
in our view or a god, damn it
watched your your show
this weekend in the car with with Erika sparrow spell out walking hanging this got backbone prince what I love about, podcast others. Does.
like all the little. Can I the eccentricities of it. I do love it perfectly polished and this makes them more accessible, yeah and the butt
we were what she was gonna gave with ma. Am we I wasn't nose like mother fucker, you can say I to follow.
the other night and it was like
I literally, I think our open up going. Why the fuck is he doing stand up? He did. I was laughing and smiling. I was like that is the fucking most I go. I literally my opening line was lower your fucking expectations. You will not be
seeing what you just said. I
I don't see with energy. I dont was that I can say with the creek. I know that
with the other negative bill burnt and cook.
You and I and dean and detail road was is, and I think that was at the shop, but I say
I did I did so. Indians are coming back to you now, but then, as a surprise,
jobs I saying nelson dormer, you know the opera doesn't are so was like away over the top. I mean I took it too far. It was. It was
fucking insane. I sometimes I was sitting with dane and his girlfriend.
And I go, and he goes as I go,
Oh you don't know what you're about to see right now he goes, he goes know what may go just just watch I go enjoy and he was like he was like why. What is I go just
we'll see, and you start singing and danes jaw drops, and he looks at me goes. How are we supposed to fucking follow this and I go like susan boyle. I know it was fun
in our day, and I were fucking literally sitting danes girlfriend broader phone out started. Recording you
danes sitting there and we are just basically bumping back and forth to each other going so fucking amazing.
mayo, nice of you and then and then I go downstairs to go. Walk on stage in day comes walking on the stairs laughing hysterically. Like you have a great setbacks.
Now. That's nice yeah
I was you know so funny is that like did forgive me I, while I have a hard time with over sharing, but the next day I was like, as I fuck man
even remember the lyrics to my saw having an instant leg in my eye, I might have a horrible fuckin voice. I lost my voice in the middle of the song. I play the game
that's only at it gives I play the guitar does not without plays the guitar, kills it he killed it so no put their hard and their commitment to the dressing room like I think I have to throw up I'll. I was gonna throw in, but I
so overwhelmed at how hard at work
to follow you that I was innocent,
for the next day, and I went on a little johan. I'm gonna see her,
sitting, thereby prizes like line, is meeting in annex I literally with their years of training and aroused apple its, but it was it so, and we will
we'll see you uncommonly, damn it is gonna go viral that will go
Yet I hope
arrange Earl, mean studio apartment without I live in a place and frank, wouldn't hiding.
the thing it will be nice to you know it be nice. If it does go viral, so I could sing more you're singing of doing barbara streisand. I'm doing the gayest thing possible. I am
Creating ok, we'll by way was never hear. This took what's care than come on, a mustache lies a monopoly. No nothing
I think I could argue that
I have a moustache, so I do yeah it's a strong, most dynamic because I can't grow a full beard. I can't do what you do. It's too patchy all down here,
I just have them. I've had this month sessions as like, fifteen, very nice beard. Don't thank you. What's her name
Listen, that's so are we talking about
I said I'm doing a shell called stress, another botswana.
This done over those being any interest you, but most people
they think of stress, and we made a joke. You walking of chickens. I mean she lives in her malibu compound and now just she jocks, like you know, like just ridiculous she's ridiculous. Did she talk the tim cook to change the way that serious,
Her name she likes to be said, stress and cynthia s being pronounced. Mohammed actual, that kind of
she's living in the, but before she was famous.
It was nineteen in new york baroque had a cot, she carried with her everywhere, so she could sleep. She had six different apartments, so she slept in this one that night this one that night she basically was couched.
with her cot and she had a show. She only entered a talent contest because they had free london broil for a week. That's why
Oh that's why she has a careers because there was free food at the other end of it. In the meantime,
was learning french italian. She had a pseudonym says you could take multiple, acting classes
and she had this show at the ball. So irishers opening fulfil a dealer.
she was seeing obscure jazz standards and it was before she,
likes rising now, like my chickens, lay green eggs amendment before this, she was on stage wouldn't drink would make patrons, buy her a appetite
hardly outside soft inside speak multiple languages wearing egyptian. I make up men's clothing, long finger nails and is like belting amid the voices. That's like a whole other aspect to it, but she was just this.
Weird wild child. She was like lady really lady gaga of her time in this jazz club and people. Could they didn't know? She was turkish if she was american, what she, whatever they were?
they were amazed by nineteen fucking years old and they have these records of her at the ball, swore just singing you yelling giggling, at the audience like this one.
I old child, and so I thought alright, I want to do my own jazz show and I've always wanted to do a jazz shows. I thought fine. Now I have enough of momentum to like put on my own gesture. So
my friend henry kapernaumovs appears in new york, we're just recreating the shell I'm, but instead of her,
not just us me, but I'm doing all of her music.
But it's gonna be matteo at the ball, so I'm doing all of her music with just a penis, but then, in the end between I will
be doing my act and stand up and talk to the audience either. One of them mirror. I am very happy with my career, however, I'm very jealous at the amount of reach the amount of different things you get to do. Crack like meaning like like that's cool as fuck like
You know I've been doing it so long that I'm a little bit in a box of like I go like even like just go up, and I mean just were, do my
like its you, know, take our own. It's for, like I wanted this. I wanted to bring visual aids
like one time. I wanted to do some stuff with those with video, but I was like ours I can't just now. Whenever I met the fucking funnybone, they don't have a screen, never funded mind you not just fuck it I'll, just go
work on a better story, but like the idea that you can do something like that in new york like like. What's your name, brigitte everett,
the best. She does sort something so different that I'm not.
this is the wrong word, but I'm envious. I got it. I do. I look at bridging. I think what the fuck am. I
I mean she's. That amazing do that, but I also you know I do stand up for five times a night run around
you're my spots. This is another. This is an outlet for me. That's not really stand up,
what's cool about art these days. It is changing. So we're not art but comedy
changing so much that they it is that, like you know,
time you gotta montreal and you, and if you do that, show a montreal, it would be fuckin sold out every fuckin night because everyone's ike, it's so you're, not
when we met exact, same race, everyone else's running you, you know how to run that race, but you also have the ability to do something totally. Fuckin globally, different- which I think is, I think, just follow me.
it is easier to become us stand of the singer. I
I just sing before doing stand up, and I was I joined this cabaret group. I don't think I ever saw me pat dues by joined this cabaret group, those in chicago and they would only perform at gay strip clubs. So we even went to fucking rock.
and we did like by the way case clubs the hardest place. I've ever bombed is it
it was a stripper for at night, really be good for you. What for night I was a gay stripper. I was, I wasn't gay, but I was I was at a gay.
But I am I it was yet
We were presentations performance, and so I have been a drag queen to manage a gorgeous drag.
and and so funny about by. I was so
As for my I make up like so obsessed with it that I wouldn't take it off like I thought it looks so. Fucking coolness really meant ives on and take up on. My palms well are some centre at allegation club, but keep boys are tough. They stopped, but yeah gazer, tough, but there s a big billy reason I did. The gig is because I could pick my own music as I go up and we were
perform the atmosphere a lot, and I would go up at like two o'clock in the morning and they would have this shit cabaret girl, I loved all the dances, but we were all drunk and shit. So this cabaret group would do this performance and then it will be a drag queen right and then right before the stripper came on. I would come on
the girls change and I would like sing songs, I would pick stress and- and I were euro be up there-
memory ease and like this, like old man, throwing
that me like one in me,
stage I mean I did it for like a year and a half and it was a hell gig. For the first time I did an open mic in Chicago. I was like this is so glamorous. I was like there's no strippers and there's no men fluffing themselves in basement
no one's during peanuts. I'm really you're, not gonna. Last that spying on a good deal with that. So I would do
Hell gigs before as inevitable,
once you were helga guys like singing afore
clock in the morning and rockford with old men throwing peanuts at you, while you're trying to things streisand and run to the parking lot like that's the worst. You got it rab late late. We talked about this lady gaga you and I is my favorite fucking song you and I and my wife, my wife, loves
oh I've by. I think I think lady gaga fuck an amazing. She has strength,
later. Bizarre is ok and also because he has
italy's ahead of real and think of, like anything other than issues are living
mcdonald, and she really is she's lasers by this is shit, lies now nobody
think about Malo. Young annapolis watch your mouth,
What do you think a mellow you're by reliable, waited as much as I could about him because you so awful use gave? Oh, isn't he
Everybody hates gaze, he hates anything like lip trans and anything, but I just I was well those things very successfully didn't even like, let my I like it.
my eyes looked away vagina ip address my with a very simple: we looked away a lot in it they helped could now he's gone. Is amazing, literally
I gave you like he's been here with what happened he was too is condoning child. Who was, he was ever like something with under age
and he was talking about how he had a relationship with a man who is under age, is over you and it had a failure and was essentially condoning it and that's when literally by then I got. I was just saying,
I don't even know. If they get nine miles down, yonder novelists, I say miley, apple, apple, apple or because the name to know for which I would just like to make five minute my I just couldn't settle on it. I e there
so far as I am lands very on real time saying I don't like trends like what I think you're dressed like this is pots here. I can't I couldn't really I I like
Oh I like listen hormone rogan like he was interesting. Guided here talk I actually think he's mentally ill. I think
a day when I wish I'd. Never, I avoided and do the same when you, but then
I saw him on real time. I knew there was a kind of like a tick. I don't think he's mentally well, I I the same as our president and a linear.
well, whose bologna is, as is millennia trump. This is my path. By the way, is this
person. Other phase the planet. If you don't follow me on twitter, you do not understand. This is the funniest person on record our ancestors, but it is never mulatto, gopher. Ok, for example. If you speak for paragraph,
it's ok, I don't want to me a comedian. What makes a comedian it funny is right
something that everyone is talking about in finding an angle that you would never have thought about so
Milan trump store michelle obama speech, every single tweet every facebook, but everything was about the the joke was the obvious job there you're going for you know like
all these obvious jokes about stealing speeches, and then by was ok. What it pat have to say about it impacts tweet about it was
we are referring to milan biogas. Those are not slowly.
In truth, I decided I don't want you to pick up on. These
certainly my baby and she do
slovenia, that great, like a sub like that are like
Oh yeah people are in power, I mean like so the the mealy mouthed monopoly capitalists. You know they haven't been scary because he could have kept going further, because our president, the president, has a Breitbart. You know Steve Bannon, inheriting at night this is a tweeting hidden,
killing people- I am not a fan of I like contrary and thought so give the everyone's
One way I like to see the persons coming, I have a very open mind, meaning like I follow a lot of feminist.
It's because I like to see I like to hear that opinion. I like to hear that opinion through always what we should all be feminists, just speaking on the yeah yeah, I know, but like the hardcore ones,
men should go away, but I think that all of them that masculinity are even less of it,
I go. I want to hear why you think that, because maybe there is some shit
it's about masculine. I don't know, there's a lot I mean patriarch. I would say yes more patria masculinity, I mean this is worth getting so nedda, but maybe
Masculinity is also a human. It's a construct, let's not real. The you
pants and a woman wears a dress is a made up. Thought the blues for boys and pink is ruins, don't mean your dog doesn't put on a dress every day. I say that one does. Although I sit on the joke, I have on stage is I I was with Arash pure in new york. We saw two gay guys walking towards us and they were in jean shorts work boots.
One guy had a mess takes up on the other guy had a python around his neck floating top on, and I went on
profound, oh, really, rhythms loggers up. I found no python fuckin snake yeah over her
as the area and those areas like that, like all of you,
although straight I am. I, like I dunno what I was testing you in the past and I said to ARI. I go I'll, never know that freedom
I'll, never know that freedom a bit, I think strangely, you do know, but then they ring up
found it hidden. They don't know your freedom. No, but if you look at, if you look in an audience of, I was do this like when you look at the guys in the audience white straight white man,
those are wearing the shackles of heterosexuality, there's no freedom in or out of it. It was like a crown to me. It's
I view this area that of preventing may have given it have. You had changed your wardrobe based on the state in cities you visit there,
not wearing shackles. Would you mean
You know how to dress based off these cities, I'm going to have I'm going to a small community,
Let you and I both these pants, I'm wearing. I don't care, and I ve. No, I'm not I'm this.
no sprint yet again putting I know you can wear whatever germany or is this a tiny bumble bee? I gotta ugandan, though,
I do that. I do I do a lot of work and you got there's a lot of places. I guess you can't go and just be yourself, yeah hello. Well, I know, but I never think like that. I never thought
let's, but I never thought of national markets about you, you're, not you, but you instrument, your shit, khakis and you're oversized gap, shirt that at a crown
happens. A crown vienna shit, as I have asked my gang I wearing the python, is, is that that is not is resisting free.
There are now because I think that is fighting for freedom, that's so fucking fascinating. I never thought
my connection in Dallas. I'd have to be wearing something different than I would wear a place. I was going on
I've talked it do you must know it. Doesnt red everywhere know this now and barely here, but I was wrong in this. The chickens allow faggots higher, but I was talking talking too much a friends we're talking what we were going. We have thanks girl christmas and so
well, they were all we're all joking about how we have to cheat. You know not me cause. I live in Chicago, I'm from chicago, but they you know someone from north carolina virginia and not the city. These places don't have liberal parts of, but there's a lot of places that are not
so they were saying out of to change their clothes. Can't wear this camera that bubble blob, that blocking in saying it. So,
you call our and tell him that that's not a freedom, son of a bitch. Thus.
interesting? I never looked at it like that. I like, when people show you
silent whether these I just by like,
these born act. I just reverbed north korea rolling the half a glass but that the glass is half empty
little lower than that
golden girls was such a great fucking show a brilliant job. I mean I still reads
I was watching. I'm really well either data, but those ladys as broad thrust out like that still ploughed aside from everything amazing actors, you do
I find that kind of acting. I feel like everything today is like that. I don't know they were
well not yet he received his actors back seventy years still together, yes, but still at the bet, remember. The word came out in the lakers
is only forty six somewhat what energy they put our mothers prosthetics answer, and then I am, I related dorothy, the mouse. I finally got a gay
as to the ambitious fed up early, I've only got off our kind of man really here.
they to blanche,
I play the role betty room
Moreover, the rose you out you over there, the network,
I related to her as it is maybe in a nicer way to say it. A nitwit like the idiot on the show yeah she's, like the sweetheart and you know, has the best heart. I guess
I guess I'd be more. A mix of Sophia dorothy now-
is greater than the common to muster this
Finally, you found about great honour all stuck I do, and that is how an earlier the pact s my golden curls antennas, Alan H, Alan Scot, I think it's my thesis go
is it bad that I mean look at what time we have to go every time you guys getting out of here? We've we've done how many just a solid hour. Eighteen,
raises interesting to at. Are you kidding me?
Thirdly, as oh, my cartels that'll, two p m. Would you do
I'm doing at midnight when so this as europe.
For at midnight to pm call time. Let me that have to be there at two right of all tat. I can go get lunch will do somebody will go, get letters them with arms.
so is polio, lebanon in the levant, by eleven, eleven or too. This is my surprise him.
Poster by the way me as stress in the bulls. Aren't my friend aaron made that for me? Oh that's great! Isn't it great? I'm that's yep, I'm trying to embrace my love for stress and it's so funny cause we're talking about being in middle school and stuff, and it's I'm still like I still like
as much as I talk about it and as much as I like, speak of it and make jokes of it? It's so much like shame like I just feel like I go back to that thirteen year old self, where I'm just living.
The world of shame and self doubt and sadness rubia, even just talking about like like when I used to want to I used to buy music so that I didn't even listen to, but in case someone came over, they would see that I listened to the music that everybody else bought when I did that too. By the way I know, but no, I had streisand the third album like hidden under my bed, because I used to love that album and just the fact that I can say I like Barbra streisand.
It's not like jokingly at all like I do. I love her and I don't care if you make fun of me for it, but just the fact that I can say that out loud, I don't even think I could have imagined
at at fourteen years old rules there. That's like how far it's been. I was just talking to a friend of mine who came out of the closet recently and I just the way
speaking, who showed how far I've come in terms of
accepting myself and who I am and that he was the way he was talking was just like. Just like the very first a lot of times. We will come out of the closet, they're still trying to rationalize it and you're still trying to
break down. You know your whole life. You ve made this yourself dislike frankenstein monster in bits and pieces of what you think. Society should think you are and then, when you have to start breaking that down and big and make it ok to see who you are and what actually underneath that as its hard to do
with so. I was talking to him and he was like that. You know, and people like come out of the like. I was how far I've come for being
The fact that I could say like streisand
imagine when I was fourteen are never never right, but I had a friend whose probably thirty
our almost thirty who just came out of the closet and I'm seeing a lot of my
in year old dolphin handle me some of that, like what, like give me an example just the way he was talking like well, I I'm trying to think of like how do how do I word this pat. You know what I mean helped me here, so you come out of that when you came out
alzheimer's is now what you know and you see people were freshly out of the closet. Don't you see a lot of your younger son?
invalid, because your you are at least like when I came out at twenty something I felt like. I was fourteen, like the whatever you might be feeling when you were like twelve thirteen fourteen trying to like be around express your sexual self, doesn't matter how old you are. If you're. If that's when you start your
How about you start young kind of act like you're, a teenager here and kind of immature about it and trying to be like trying to rationalize his sexuality still and for awhile. He was like well, I still like women. I still like women are like. Why are you? Are you fuck, I said? Are you fucking women? Well, no
looking men as I do, masturbate two women will know macerates amount.
Okay and then, of course, a few months later, I don't like women anymore. So it's trying to peel away the layers of the patriarchate and accept who you are, but I like now, I'm like ok can be open. I don't care if I get called a faggot, I don't care. If I look a feminine, I don't care. If I say like streisand, I don't care. If I don't, I don't care about all these things, but when I was eighteen and I first come out of the closet, all I cared, I was still gay, but
I pretend I wasn't gay. If that makes any sense, I don't even know how I would want that when I hadn't come out yet, but if a friend came out as bi and he was telling two guys me another guy who had not come out as anything
I just kind of living neutered lives we nodded as if, though, we like, we support you and then you know, then he came out as gay and then we came out as gay. It was just like this weird dynamic, where it should have been a fucking and are going out and get, but we are all being very careful even around other people
just like us to not say too much eva mike, I came out to my cousin, hoop
Time I was eighteen, I knew my cousin was a vole like homosexual privileges.
just as gay as the day is long, and I said I was gay and he didn't come out back to me and I was furious, because I was like what the
I would like your gear that I am now would talk to each other. They like bright. Why didn't you say you were gaze like I don't know he's like we, he came out. He did it very different.
That I'm gay, but everyone else tell everyone else. I don't feel like telling people.
if the rest of the family had been like ryan's gay and were like yeah. I know I ran into my brother, my brother found out. I was gay because I ran into him at a gay bar using a fake id hydrate.
I ran into an hydrate justifying idee. Yes, I was nineteen and he was twenty one, any the first thing he said
when you think Brien's gonna come out. My cousin shops that you ran into your
other at a gay born, and you did know, he's gay. He I knew
He was gay came out at fourteen heeded.
I was out me, you must have known it was going on in the trough. Cs
and
I would urge your brother, the new two years older, I'm thirty, my sister's thirty wine and my brothers, thirty two she and there I
twenty or dad doubly wasn't gay. Now
had generally wasn't get out of my wife. You know my dad's like a really boring american irish, like heritage person dislike fan,
is dry toast. Just I think
Saw his parents a total of six times growing up a little
fine- you like you, do but my
like this
italian maximum, our family she's, the most normal that, like there I'll just, haven't babies like rabbits and wages,
so many babies in such a juxtaposition of different, like I could see the clear difference between cultures.
but to my mother's family, my dad's family. I still don't even associate myself as a lane. I, like my dad, I just I came to think like layin, like what the my family's, the
laura, like were like. That's, who I grew up with so a weird your password for finance for everything
yeah. I when I live with the to those. Oh tells me that for who need help us at the shelves who got it, it's a defined. The craziest part of my perspective was
comfortable nest they had beating each other up like that, like a fight would often get physical and
and I remember where just glare at each other across the room- a of passive aggression, yeah right until the drunk.
Where were they would get high and get what we ll get drunk eroded, cocaine and I'd watch them fucking
We general at it and eyed, and I remember one night. I split them up got any less because are fuckin, I locked,
hell we're locked one in the room and then I thought
I need to call the police. Oh, I fought the other one as she tried to get through me to beat the other one up. They shouldn't have been dating and up they did they broke up, but well. Yeah. What's crazy is that one of them was a girl I'd post,
whenever the generous ellen generous and whose worsened rossi here is that you have zelman porsche reactionary on your first. I'm going to my
my best friends who is a lesbian and it's the first gay wedding, I'm going through is her wedding this summer really and I'm so excited yeah. She is she's like her and her fiance are like some of the greatest people on.
Was there to those means that an hour that I know that we are at a party and they have a adopted son
course, or maybe he's in the third week of data, may adapt them have a missile invisible for a kid is a fucking shit here
can hurt himself one of the dad. Seize him he's crying and diagnosis.
Yo katy was me limited, fuck alone. What and then I word: woe and the moms like give him some space to me, and I went away
bitch. Neither of you deserve to have a child. If you knew what kind of mother did you have if you said that to your mother, when I get fucking smear, I would my. I actually think my body would have gone missing. Yeah it would have, it would have gone
is by medea yeah that had something to do over what was it
or like that's it? Well, you are very definitely these ended by spending ranger. If I were to stop
The way that kid swore at that man, I would be die, said I said I got really falcon enraged and I said that kidneys get his dick, not in the door.
A couple times, because you know you can't walk round
world without energy? Now that you're gonna get really getting curb stomp one day with a moms? How can it be that, every time we have given some space,
and and then my wife showed me the other side, and they said she goes. You know what I think they adopted him from of. It was in the foster system that I can know what at least the kid the kid they're trying the best they can be, and I was like that
why I fucking love was like here. I am being an asshole and my wife.
Now is the kid is?
although we all points too old to be acting now, then the youth for europe in your ten?
How long have you been living with these? I dunno I just this was like if it's better, if he, if he did come from a system or a an environment, that was very abusive, a pipe pipe that those things are pretty hard
yeah. I still want to do you think you'd ever have a kid, never, never know! What about you hales now yeah. I can't imagine that if I, if I can't imagine if I was gay that
want that in my life, some do and I think it's my friend Chris just had a baby and he's I mean you know he's going to be a great father to my kid about the bees and the bees. But you know
I did I to me. I know I'm too selfish, though. That being said, I think it.
A good father used to teach our camp all my mom and my aunt instincts.
pleasing me came out as a kid, and I was very good with these kids Andrew yeah. I would be a great father and I get mad at or I'd be I'd be a wonderful mother.
My second I'm the or less tat relationship with his family
His mom is the most fascinating thing in the world: omaha omaha nebraska from there and I'm there in a week where you are, I admit, the funny bone. I I you know I once got snuck into the funny bone sick. My brother was dating a girl that worked there and I was sixteen and a lame puzzler was there and I, like my mother,
Not that I was gay that I went wasn't goes your labours twice. Instead of going to homecoming, she had to perform all I've been through that the funnybone show me.
I find that govern stuck me. Am I remember nothing like it to a labour booze or more become like the later, but he's gotta be strange.
Knew I was waiting for well. I could see a lane see me because I was like I weighed like one twenty. I was sixteen and the braces, and you know like everybody else, there was an adult and then at the end I met her at the door with the flower instead of row,
Freedom is both a funny guy you're going to have to learn his will just broke by who
Oh, it was you. I m a tutor now that I wrote I wrote that notion. Hurried Souci, very timely then followed me, but I just like my mother uk.
like my favorite comment, was lame.
I much like I'm night court.
I've gotta watch. If you don't like her mom, that's going on humanitarian. So how long have you been doing,
I guess twelve years of years. Yes, an end use to you. If you and another guy, you guys two guys and
the the n and the s are Patrick Noah, scott per oh, that sounds like penis yeah it does. It does but you're going to my funny bone, that's wonderful! The omaha funny bone yeah, yeah
Firstly, there are a lot of place out of divine path, half is from omaha, yes, and so he use every eye like randomly whereby everytime have been in he's been around and he added
high school reunion one time and he was- I use a customer,
to a set of like fuck. Looking you tell some people, you'll be there to help sell some take.
out of divine iranian nearby- and I love Adam divines gray- is are we were in
father, who, last year together as I was in what was talking to have added a shot.
then we ve, I was talking to the house party, the allows party and so of course see even at that time. The him in is ever had just been where he was just like in the newspaper for making a joke about sack of france.
You. He like was joking, that he'd scenes acts, boner and, of course, with all
the gay blogs and all these pictures of them in singlets were all over the gay blogs because they didn't like the movie something. So I was like Adam. I'm like you know that every gay man on the face of the planet is looking at pictures of you and zac, and
sing lids and it's over like every single gay everything he's really as like. Yes, another two is
what mark norman by the way it was ice were uninstall gunners eyes like
However, as I said, my aunt crush monday's or whatever, and he was
gay, really famous gay page, and it was like six pictures of mark one with his butt out. One of them is an underwear and it's like you know, man crush monday, mark norman.
It to mark, and I was like look mark of markovic- give made it you'd year with the gaze now he's like I'll. Take it sucks
neither side marks my very high one hundred percent,
Why is this and out of divine me
It's very cute adams. Also. I pick him over Zac Efron any day. I do that. Would I wouldn't okay, but only because I'm self hating and I want
Well for the I normally those jacked muscles and stuff. I think it'd be more interested to see fuck fuck fuck. You have to go. No! No! Oh shit! I should have told my wife.
Yes, I'm away for propaganda, it's gonna, be here in a couple minutes. Will we can wrap this?
No, no we're going to get lunch. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. We don't have to be anywhere till two, so we can get lunch perfect dessert. That was our thirty. That's a good length. I'd like to do them! I like I like them to be over an hour. I don't like, I think at you start really getting into
cover you had it now,
IRAN's will listen to this whole thing. Oh yeah, this is for them. This is what this is, this kind of stuff that makes podcasts interesting like if, if, if we didn't have it that I was rushed
knows it's just a really great conversation about people etc.
all farmers have sewed airs wednesday night, oh good than they could
I stress and show and strengthen the bonds or a panacea
Oh no.
My no april twenty six april, twenty six, the comedy Jim, was what he searched.
It's gonna be fuckin amazing. You guys got a tune into that and then you're gonna be do.
material at the ball swamp and not march twenty. Fourth,
so guys, go out and see that I'm doing a battle of the diva as march twenty eightth at union hall, where we bob the dry.
Green is the shares a made, a battle in a debate.
The main reason ass, an al you d, better, the other night, she was at the shop and we we have them battle in it.
a giant debate over whose better whitney Houston Mariah carry a knee jerk reaction? Would you should know courses out of those apples?
knee jerk reaction, but then, when you watch maria and like ninety five, then it becomes a real citizen. I mean she is. She was very talented maya, but
Wit me really right at all, sir, the weggs, the sweat of wasting a parasite spell of her career. The drama will ever
Please follow pat power,
I'm gonna take out your podcast wisdom of ariane, Pierre S, explosion pianist
explosion and I'm going to follow that up a lot I like getting into a new podcast. I just listened to Joe list and mark norman,
You live with lorries that yet our good stuff to listen to a pat. William, kick your name. If you know, if you can gather tat power, there's a bunch of pat powers are so there's one word it's just that power is applied
Angela lansbury, on the forty two, your podcast out of chicago okay. Well, maybe next time I'm in chicago, I could be on your podcast. It would be fucking, awesome and gentlemen pianists explosion. I got it
I want to start with rage. Aha, like it's like I'm of runs down a lotta anger at that point, but it it holding idea, maybe a little too intense nope. It is perfect off my favorite favorite episode of penises
But also on the interviewed man
who lived in the of saudi arabia, syria, saudi Arabia and he was closet.
Inside of every have like a family, but was gay and they came on the show they just pretty girl,
about her dress me it's it's while its uncomfortable, so lovely. I would thank you haven't you thinks I have mentioned. I can wait till it is much more like
Thanks.
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Transcript generated on 2023-07-17.