Comedian Tom Rhodes I hang out in the man cave, share a couple cigars, and talk about his extensive world travel and doing comedy in Amsterdam, Bangkok, China, Dubai, Malaysia, Bali, and the list goes on. We talk about his quitting booze, cigarettes, weed and his love of international foods & Drivin' n'Cryin'
BONUS!!! The last 30 minutes LeeAnn and I talk about the most recent episode of Black Sails.
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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It is
Abu worry, so whatever it's Wednesday, there was dropping
wednesdays days, real quick before I forget people
once who just want your rogan he's got a new shoes.
called crashing on on hbo. That's coming up february nineteenth these
I'm almost certainly february nineteenth, so check him out. If you dont know, I've had peed on my podcast
but on his podcast he's a really great guy he's a really funny guy. He said on H b. O special is fantastic, so just check it out not going to beat you over the head about it, but I think
about supporting the colonies born exporting the content, I d live dollop last night,
Are you guys loved the dollop absurd with thy gareth, reynolds and now and Dave Anthony, and that is it is really really really.
The funny it is anti combined that good progress
lahti lot of headed up, but it's alive. When did it nervous
or just melt meltdown and all the benefits they gave to me.
yeah, you pretty impressive, big stuff on the horizons. I will definitely say that
posted a video or facebook and on you,
two ban on twitter about them?
apples- are really really inspiring raffle that I did wait. Staff raffle, if you dont, know what I do I have.
and they always give a dollar, and then I raffled off to someone in the waitstaff at the end of the night and they the pots go up to like four hundred bucks. Sometimes, and it you know, it's really great. I don't do it because I'm a
humanitarian honestly caught me quite honestly, I'm just a regular person. I don't think I'm not thinking bigger than myself a lot of times. It's a great way to kill check spots.
Leon really loves it. So she kind of like you gotta, keep
so I'll keep doing an anathema
turn it into my signature bed, but I'll keep doing it. It's fun, n, and these way these kids at her weight and tables are aid its do no more money than they might see in in the weekend. So it really you know the last one,
god, one girl was getting the now going to get her car fixed. Was she one another one one
in san diego. She was going to canada the next day and all the pros
He's saying: oh my god I get to have the trip I want to have like. I had all these things. I want to do that. I couldn't afford now I get to do them all. I was like wow, one girl was pregnant and she was like.
Oh, my god, we had to get the nice car seat and, like other so cool another girl. I just had a baby
Another goal is getting rid of a baby which was like super. You know now giving and then the one that I just released yesterday, which is because Wednesday
You is, is a really great one sky, gregg, a mattress boy for you, but
Are you will cry? Go to my facebook gotta my youtube gotta, my twitter. You can
I did anywhere you know everything is I mention this all the time
laughable, dot com check them out. I just love em, a real quick. It is.
using them a lot lately, because I know this guy sam harris
same harris has his interesting, as was podcast, and so I just basically vines
it's the same way that you would vine, swaying from youtube video to youtube video to youtube video you get obsessed with of the gracie and then all of a sudden you're, like all watching oswald fights. I'm doing all this. It's the same concept
they ve got comedians a week, means of the day or favour comedians ever pod gas, and then, once you click on it
shows you all the other stuff they ve been on so check it out
I know ory fitzsimons and a shame, moss, gonna start working with them and it's just trying to spread out a cool out for podcast. That's all
in the end we are off to london. Oh I'm, off to seattle, I'm in seattle. This week in seattle,
this week, I'm nor one show in london. I apologize london. I could not another show because it is if it is too late and we didn't get out of the box
some, but that doesn't mean I'm not coming back. I think I'm gonna come back in an open a week
Very soon do a bigger theatre, maybe like some a little more manageable
then hop over to ireland and do some chosen
I'll, say a lot of people from island region out so but I will be in london so,
You know if you really gotta Europe, your ass, you want to have a beer with me I'll. Tell you what I'll be the my wife,
take her head right now my wife and are going to do our black sales podcast. At the end it is bought guessed, but this progress is fantastic, really, fantastic,
and so it is a long one. So at the last fifteen, twenty minutes of this podcast will be mere. My wife recap for black sales in the
We will be doing it for gave a thrones, because I have a lot of questions anyway. That's how you'll hear that at the end, don't worry about that, and is
it. It's gotta be at seattle this week in a parlor live in Bellevue london,
that should sort out. I will be doing some pie gas in london
and I'm in San antonio then I'm in portland, then I think I'm in
numbers, for the call it seek to work showed its happening. Columbus is, is it means something that shit I just got a hundred twenty eight gigabyte as de guard videos are upon my face book of these podcast nowadays guys
so for those you guys who missed the video portion like watching the video portion. Thereupon, post
from all the time and the one that I'm posting this podcast I'll be posting this evening or tomorrow morning, depending on, is a good one, because we spoke cigars and the man cave. I love it. I really love it. The portland
richmond funny bone, we're trying to do a call in sick to work show in DC, but we can't come up with a, I think, a number that everyone's copy with. So that may not happen, but a contact work show on the tenth of march in dc contact to work column
this, I think albany's been cancelled, everybody I apologize and then we're in omar spring break wiseguy salt lake city,
while was comedy, show why was comedies can be insane that is
vince Vaughn's festival and that's in tennessee in nashville, and I think I'm doing a concert work show there yuk yuks Calgary and it goes on anyway. That's all the ads, those aren't even ads. Let's just keep it up, and I will share this with you before I announce his podcast. Someone hit
a little bit of a fuckin target today and he's a little happy about it. He wanted me to what it was leanne. I think happy is not the right word. I think it may be emotional, emotional yeah. I think you're low emotional, I'm a little freaked
alpine here really caught me off. Guard, don't tell me, was size, thirty, four waste, the boss, I study for genes, I gotta. We consider that there is a lot
There is a lot of touch and go with this whole fats aiming thing with me. A cigarette and cigarettes are still in the thick of it. He's not fashioning tom diet. Donald trump and he's got these.
Of his vast sure to selling and all the proceeds go to a children's hospital so get one it'll, be a collectors item. Trust me
career. Trajectory that I see time cigarette. Having is astronomical
being serious when I say this its paste, however, meteoric meteoric, not a meteor, meaning, not midi orange
not now mediocre, yogurt meteoric so get his shirt.
As ten years from now when he's doing arenas and he sees it.
of- is fat shirt. He is going to giggle and you will have your get have your moment with cigarettes,
so get used to drop his ventured screw. Politics support these kids, whatever whatever just. What do you think about whatever just get this shirt
and and that's that I think that's that knows I study for genes so touch and go with this fat, shaming shit.
And what you I say, it ultimately worked. I'm still
eating really healthy, I'm still working out. I just walked five miles and grown across visits
starting in the morning with johnny blade, and I'm feeling really good.
have a drink in the last couple nights,
you didn't even trigger the dollop. Gareth was called off
parties like- is not there
I don't have alcohol you're right and I was yeah again. He goes. He didn't bring any aggro. No, he was like, oh, my god, this and
Montenegro, intro people, I'm sorry, I'm dragging on. I know you guys I catch up, but whatever now today's,
asked, and I always do a little bit of an interest. You know it is
I assume you already know who he is, but if you don't give me a second
talk about this in the pot guess, but Tom rose was a florida comics.
Same genre group guys like brewer
and guard gardelle and had bergen those rather big boys. One of his best friends stand hope
he is, he started, he's been doing comedy now. Thirty. I think. Thirty three years is his anniversary and he also took off to amsterdam for a period and hosted a late night talk show, which I think we talked about on the last podcast
but he did that. I think for seven years and was like masses
Famous in amsterdam- and he travel
the world aggressively, incisively, spiritually and passionately. He literally
does- and you know I had that job for seven years
on travel channel where I was doing the
exact thing- and I never had the insights
he had, and so we talk about travel for the first,
since all of you are have any plans of
apple. This is going to be fantastic and then we just start bull shitting towards the end, but, like I said, stand up comedian moved out to san francisco from florida. Then, down to you know, what am I going to give you his bio, but Tom rose.
He's one of my one of the few comics that I really really really admire:
hired when I first started. I wanted to be like he had that hicks ask nest
to me it this coolness,
long, hair, love, booze he's been sober
I think three years and and this is a great
I guess you're going to really love it. Sorry for
into everybody ten minutes. What am I mark? Marin? Hey, who kirk Kramer come home? What's steamers cat and boomer lives,
Kramer come home. So, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, today's bog asked tom roads
These words are pretty
Fucking phenomenal. I had one last night watching the game. That game was fucking amazing. I was incredible. It was really fucking into it atlanta, but that was still incredible. Yeah, let's see seven seven, six six, I think we're good yeah. I I love this. I love I have a I I love and I think I'm a
and leisure in an ultra. You strike me as a man who's. You have a high costs
osity firm luxury you're. My thing is my friend my therapist about this. I have a fucked up reward system.
so I believe I have a low threshold for what I feel like I've earned a reward so, like I feel like you should just
constantly be rewarding, and I feel that way. I don't think, but why would why? Do you see a therapist? I see a therapist or see a therapist, because I was,
there's going to sound so inflated, but, like I was having ptsd from travel channel
What I was doing, I know I was doing like three bucket list adventures once a day within a ten hour, twelve hour, sometimes eighteen hour day, and it was just it was just overwhelming and I was never deacons.
pressing like I do it and then I never really would talk about it. I didn't have time to reflect, never had any.
Election on it, and
and you know you had to I'd, have a lot of days where I was like can't believe. I'm alive, you know like jumping off.
Data are swimming with great white shark, sir just fuckin repelled
and I follow them, and then I and then I then I ended up getting really hurt and I think all of that started adding up. I'm just
being like stuck in my emotional bank how'd, you hurt yourself. I fell off a waterfall, no shit. We are like fifteen feet.
my back and had crawl out of a ravine, and then it was just a super unhealthy, really fuckin, a mother thought and so on, and so
and so one night one day I was in knoxville knows just having a spin out. I couldn't quantify
ocean and I was getting upset over the littlest things and I was supposed to fly home and I think I was flying to some
out of the country the very next day and they pushed my flight forward
What's gonna, see the girls and I I just
out and my wife was like alright coal production just like we push production but you're, going to a therapist you're going to come home and I landed and she was like you have
therapy in like two hours while and it was close- I love it. I I I skipped it this week cause I was doing press, but I love it. I could do I could
it really kind of helps me like figure out what's wrong with me. The first thing I said to him as I go, I'm a big drinker. I go. We need to keep tabs on that and he was like okay, and so he can tell when I'm drinking relax I skip therapy he's like.
like? I haven't talked Burton two weeks, so I'm assuming he needs to talk to me,
where's like oh yeah, so I went to a therapist one.
when I was living in amsterdam, I thought I was
I was going to some shit,
moved there just
constantly travel around the world are just the first comic. Truly do that, but you're travel is what kind of american comedians, because a lot of those london, english comedians they do the worldwide circuits so mean
bidding him with london was the key to the worldwide circuits. For me really now, a lot of american geyser are plain all over the world, but now now, but for me
Thus did india yeah, like I'm saying like not even like people can go
well. He has been doing australia and and Russell peters, but like right now, because of netflix people are starting to do the world right and I started doing the worldwide circuits twenty years ago, and that was because I got him with london.
It led to gigs all over europe. Asia, australia is usually like. Do you feel like how old were you when you moved to amsterdam? I feel I feel very similar to you
wayne I'll tell you in a second. But how will you, when you moved there in two thousand, so were my mobos? What I was thirty three thirty, three yeah! Okay, just turned fifty a couple of weeks ago. Did you oh yeah yeah? I saw your bird. I did a birthday thing at the at the
in bank Londono, yours, television and thailand you're celebrating I'm sorry you're sobering thirty years of comedy thirty three years, a country. I sort of seventeen that yesterday
saturday yeah yeah yeah february,
regulations. Osman almost I started
twenty six and forty six, forty four right now, but I feel like I went through what you went through.
While I was doing travel channel and you
to amsterdam of an thing about this. A lot lately, because you came back
and you are like, oh time to start all over in the american road circuit and when I got done to an amsterdam travel
I had to go. Oh god. Time is short.
Over in the american road circuit. Like that's how I see you download travel jail
done right now, you're waiting for you I mean I I was
They have a working relations with them, I'd like to ideas, get famous and then do whatever project I want with them. I love the people's groups, but for the time being, I'm taking a break and just folks and I'll stand up sets I felt like if I, if I didn't, then I'd miss my opportunity to do stand up near you, gonna get your muscles get flabby right and you, and but how much did the global market dictate you're you're your voice at that time?
I do a lot and because you know, as a comedian, you've got your experiences to draw from. You know like when I started out when I was seventeen. I only had the thoughts of a seventeen year old. You know all my jokes were about.
try to get laid on dates. Then taken my dad's.
Chrysler lebaron out and things like that. You know, and so you know I had a I had. You know I was like the the face of comedy central.
for a few years in the beginning of the network's history and then that lead to
Getting my own sit. Come on NBC, so I had kind of played all over the states and
and what I when I started. I looked at my city,
money is my NBC artist grant
and so I'd say I started making these trips over to london. I took about two or three trips over to get my sea legs doing sets at the peripheral clubs before I went to the best clubs like the comedy store,
and then, when I started playing around the world, my stories and jokes became about my travel experiences. You know
I almost drowned in thailand. I was based in paris the first time I went there. Some guys tried to rob me, and you know even now, my my
favorite part of when I'm performing. I always ask. Is there anyone from a different country in the audience, because I've got a story or a joke about just about anywhere
yeah I mean I'll get stumped every once in a while with a lithuania or a kazakhistan, but for the most part I've got like a story or or joke about everywhere. What was it that made? You want to travel? Do I mean do you this there's going to, since
you like flying, I loved you and especially now, and I gotta talk to you, men
because I know you're an american guy and I you
to be an american guy. That was my
airline oh yeah yeah yeah, all nor were they merged with? U s heir, and now I think they're they're garbage
a little animal. Well, I, u nine it! I can still tell. I can still tell when a crew is
u s heir and quit accrues american items?
tat, is a big difference and
I think the quality plummeted
so about three or four years ago
I made the decision to stick with delta. Only and I just hit diamond, never been that high.
for really diamond is as high as you can go. I mean, and I thought, golden platinum level was amazing, because last year platinum, I got bumped up about forty percent of the time
first class here so just a month ago my diamond status kicked in and
I'm anticipating a very great year. Oh I so I can use the first class lounge everytime. I fly
I get to do domestic spouse tickets, where my wife can fly with me twice. I I
I am so proud dealt airline see, I am not delta. I am hard core american, but
I status on American is invitation only so I don't have just my status is next level like I enter through an a separate entrance
The airport I get taken to the front of the security last year like as to as high as you can go on, America can't go any higher than where I'm at. Like the other day,
yesterday I went to go board and I saw the door was open until I saw some of the boarding- and I know for a fact, there's always a representative waiting for me at the gate to walk and get me on the plane.
Well, that's kind of a celebrity thing. No, because I remember when I when I was a mere
It was my airline forever and when I had my sitcom on NBC, I had that with american,
we're not someone! I would would meet me in and walk me that has nothing to do with. Somebody has to how much money is spent on the airline sofa candidly
and I don't know how long this is going to last now that I am not having traveled gentle foot foot all my bills, but I was generating so much income for the for the for the airline cause. I was off
I did my crew fly american well, and so they d american was like well if you're the reason then we'll give it a special service called concierge key
But now I have to fly like eczema,
dollars in a quarter to keep the status. So it's like a so
I mean by his in. I was pretty obsessed with my miles last year. Oh hardcore love, as you sit at the counter right before the year's up and you're like hold on. Let's look at what we've got planned and yeah, so I took this gig in shanghai in november yeah. Only because I knew it would it would give me the miles to hit to hit dime. Oh that's
you stay at. Does that do you know he flew to any did it on?
although he flew to like cape town and then flew right back, we have town and flew right back years ago. Only the miles
Bobby Kelly. Does that to the lot of the new york comics old career, a thousand?
as for for a one leg. They won't just. I think they rounded up. You know so. They'll fly like new york to Boston, just back and forth all day and get and get like twelve thousand miles ten thousand mile hour. I think so I remember
we kelly was doing it, and my thing right now is: I have to fly x amount of dollars in the first quarter, to keep my concierge status who's, I'm going to london on Sunday. Nice now are you gonna, do a gig, I'm doing a gig and it's ip. You know a very conservative I was like. I was like. I can't imagine going to move more than the
hundred tickets in london. I got really that's what I should try and do the seller theatre
I've been doing the last three tons of going to london have done the same thing
and
it's phenomenal, I think it seats one hundred and twenty five or one hundred and fifty or should it on that? I'm doing a thing called angel comedy at the bill. Murray, don't know ninety seats and it's good yeah, it's good and so
but I m excited love london, london. I love london like what's your favorite put. What's your favorite place that you ve been alma
what two visitor like them. I don't just just all the cars like,
I always tell people in the audience. If you got a group of thirty
india and your young and you
It's got a little money go to vietnam. I go. I love vietnam, and you know it is
it was a cool gig in Hanoi. I did a couple of years ago you serious yeah, it's really cool, and I you know I twenty years ago,
No, it was twenty. Two years ago I did a special for comedy central called viva viet,
So the ok don't yet, but this needs to be explained to listeners. This was you when you
but you were the face, a crummy central? That is an understatement. That is you. I remember this period and your dad. It had been in the vietnam war, correct my gadfly helicopter,
in vietnam, he was shot down and everyone.
in the helicopter died, except for him, and his co pilot who was knocked unconscious. He unhooked is unknown, took off his seat. Belt dragged is co pilot across the field under heavy fire, and he survived so did is co pilot and my dad got like five metals for it. Without my my dad lived,
My dad was killed by a drunk driver in two thousand and nine, but he's buried in Arlington national cemetery, where they only put bad asses there. He was killed by a drunk driver hit him in a car yeah in anaheim- oh my god, I'm sorry yeah to brutal,
store, is your mom so alive yeah, they were divorced. There are many years, but so vietnam was a big topic
in my house growing up and my dad his helicopter buddies were you know, like his brothers,
reunion every year, so we win bill Clinton lifted the travel ban on vietnam.
the way obama did on cuba. Last year I was there. I pitched this idea to comedy central
and so I made this our travel documentary type
comedy your hair was long. I want to say I got the dvd awesome. I bought the demon
when I was living in new york. That kind of put me on the map for american television. I think that is what led to this said. Come
the notoriety I got from that. So so I went and ensure that that was vietnam adjust opened up for american travellers for
news like third, like thirty years old and doesn't understand that was like
it's that no one was traveling to vietnam, like that was there no. It was only like veterans who needed to get in touch with. You know. Yeah to clean up their soul from their past or something
I think I have a real, true insight like travels universities.
Said was: there's different trina, I'm a tourist and a traveler. It was the first thing they told me and I was like and by the way I am a
at the time they are me hard core tourist. I was a tourist like didn't, leave
didn't leave the resort wanted a pool bar like I was a fuckin, a hard core tourist, and now I think I am,
most definitely without a doubt, a traveller, but that's just from travelling.
seven years, but so you'd when you did that special did you
What would I mean like are all I could think is like what are they shoot it on today, send me and I felt that it
I'm a man had a massive campers s back, that's a nineteen! Ninety seven, where we know we filmed it instead
number ninety four and it came on April. Ninety five for the twentieth
firstly of the end of the vietnam war and we did
staying in Hanoi, where we remember back then in the nineties, the Jane fonda workout tape was was, was big, so have jane, yes, so veterans hated.
the other jane fonda, because she went to her joy at the height of the war to protest it
I want to call her hanoi, Jane leer, so we
found these women doing tied. She in the park in Hanoi and we set up a tv with the Jane fonda workout tape,
when we and when we had a vcr to play this tape and in ninety ninety four technology we had to run an extension cord like five blocks, are shutting pull off this joke and it was one of the highlights of the thing and these old women.
They didn't know who jane fonda was they did you saw a woman exercising so they all started doing it and they loved it really, and it was grain. She goes now turn to the left- and I said, ass
She turned to the left, so there was a really great
but in the end that special, so I went back,
in two thousand fifteen
twenty years later, was my first time back in vietnam, and I did this really cool.
IG in Hanoi. I what's it for the I forget the name it. They got a charlie good night's, get it nah, yeah the napalm comedy club and in this nineteen year old villa
me kid from Hanoi opened up for me really and he's only been a comedy like six months and his all time comedy
euro is eddie murphy, specifically delirious, so he delivered so like I said
about when I started when I was seventeen beer, so this kid's only got the x.
periods is of a nineteen year old kid and living in Hanoi, but he delivered everything like eddie, murphy and delirious. Very often it would
but with a lotta bravado, which ones delivers. You read outfitters ever read out o dude. I just watch out the other day, so he's a hake. So there's no euro nineteen year old kid from a noise. Like you know,
you're on your school in your girl is on the back and somebody posts,
next to you at the red light and looking at your girl
I guess it was hilarious. Yeah
We are really confidently whose great that's so fantastic.
What annoys an amazing vietnam is an amazing trip. Was I like
I love thailand. I will. I just went back there. I've never been to thailand. I really like the title, never been to thailand or one of the temples of Vang corps in Cambodia. That's a that's an amazing trip.
I really love ancient ruins like I've. I've bended, Matthew, peaches,
in Peru. I want to do now is one of my favorite trips of all time is Peru been cheats and it, sir?
my in ruins in and can connect
echo and then the temples of aunt core need those up into the great wall of china. Twice really ever been there nope norman
Are you kidding me now there's a lot of places. I hadn't there's three places at the great wall of china where you can go as a visitor, but there's only one did has this plan
toboggans slide going down and it's so much fun. I filmed it and put it
and you too, that's what I've seen you viewed. Let me have you type in Tom roads, magnificent slide at the great wall, it'll pop up and that's the links of it to mason. That's fantastic know, you were so so did you was a trip to vietnam?
when you first abroad, like international drips back then yeah yeah, I had gone, did korea once before, and then I I went to london in ireland before that say. That was my fourth trip.
out of the country. So then ok, so not
I know a lot and I know I know probably all of this, but just to backtrack for the listener. So then you do you. Do that trip you come back. You get! Mr roads is it MR
this road, MR roads, yes and then back
for us two seasons once one season,
who you shooting with it next door. It was what what was a sickening
doing extorted a member. You telling me story about this. Coach was next door and so was sabrina teenage, which yeah answer that,
and so then you do a season and then did you just
early right next door was sabrina. The teenage, which actually kind of two over. Did you just go?
when you get double you're like I'm out, I'm goin amsterdam,
I actually, I admit,
the new york city. When I was twenty like a dog, I move their from florida and I was
broke one of the worst years of my life
and I was swore fibre had new money. I would live in new york city was style. So when the sick,
finished. I moved to new york city nine
eight. Ninety nine or ten are that's. Where first met you- and it is in
and that is when I mean I was swimming in cash. So that's when, in that,
period was when I started taken these trips over to london and I
start in with the comedy store, unlike my third trip over and then I started book in work.
and then I also got gigs around Europe. I would
I played in amsterdam and fell in love with a dutch girl, not the one I married,
I moved Amsterdam in two thousand, a love, amsterdam yeah two hours,
saying to someone else
of saying we're going to london. I said what we should do is hop over to amsterdam for a day moments. I know who we're bringing the girls you need more than a day. I know
I just want to go over their. I things is so professional, the winner, those nights, two so beautiful. What
favorite things in amsterdam, is the children's museum called the trojan museum it's a little further. If you take
nine tram from.
Rembrandt plain
it's like two stops past the zoo really and they're very honest, and it's it's it's all about the world yeah and it's it's! A kids museum are going to
its phenomenal. I torres don't go there. I'd be, I feel like I feel, like tourists or inaction,
and you go to like alive, live get some. We
I hate that, like people talk to people on the they,
woah, I hated amsterdam, or where did you stay and we stayed in the red light district? Why would you get a hotel in the red light district here? You know I I did it. I did it. I was in
you'd you were just in Lexington Kentucky go you're, just as I was there the weekend before, and so I did the rock and roll
radio interview on the friday, and I told the guy. I was just in time
let's all he wanted to talk about was the lady boys and I was telling him. Thailand is like the internet, its whatever you want it to be, and that's what amsterdam is like if you're, india, like prostitutes and drugs and weird shit, that's what your amsterdam experience would be
but it's also world renowned for its art. The city itself is a work of art. The the the actual dutch women are far greater than that.
They are asked to say, army that over there and have a real experience with a real woman. You try and be a human being and connect
we're anal bike, radio, that's the win win. The tulips
in bloom in April. That's the greatest time to be in HOLLAND. There's a place called coca off where they there's a it's a big place. Where
all the flowers are displayed and you walk through this away.
Did area?
my mom over for it when I lived there once, but so you take the train to light and to get to coconuts
and light in his where rembrandt was from its also where the harvard of the netherlands is located, but you're taking the train there
in your passing these fields of tulips in bloom and like yellow field red, feel yeah
blue feel that just like it so breathtaking yeah, so I mean there's a lot. You know the drugs in the prostitution get all of the publicity, but
You know in the dutch are very progressive people there. They ve progressive laws which are in danger of electing a right wing. Moron, that's coming home,
I hear that's happening all over europe right now, yeah. It's crazy that germany's
as germany doing this well yeah marge march is the dutch election and curt builders is the is the right.
Wing guy in April is frame.
It's an marine, le pen, she's the right wing woman.
and then I think, germany's june, so it was so does it kind of I mean europe
said of all the complex. I know all my friends you're, probably the most globally. Thinking, like you, don't look at things like
I think I have a very small outlook on life like
like what do we do when we were talking when bush collected, I was like weathers there's like there's comics. It really have
All they know is silverlake and that's all
and their blown away. That I would vote for bush. I got to know if you travel in the country again, lexington yeah, I did make a joke about it and I got booed
I was like yeah yeah yeah. I did I I I did some stuff on on trump in lexington that went down like a zeppelin but they're, not bad people.
not at all night supremacy and they're, not racists, you and you're from Florida is well yeah. I started out on the southern circuits so like atlanta, the punchline
lexington comedy off
way means I I grew up in and the wonderful people in these play. I love the south.
I too urge everyone office is a more
Thus. There is very open minded very politically aware people there
yeah, I adore the southern unites united states and that's why I still go back there and do gigs. You know put your perspective.
Is some everytime. I talked to forget just how broad your perspective as I wouldn't
I couldn't tell you in the german election is active:
Do it every year? Is that every four years as it have every nine, get it back ass? But did you come about that because of your stay in amsterdam,
Why I mean my mother's from buenos aires, argentina
syria and cheeky emigrated to the united states. She was fourteen to my family's originally from Washington DC, so she
the d c when she was fourteen Detroit think haven't,
an immigrant mother.
So there was on the really sexy about argentina and there is-
Buenos aires is
What am I gonna do members in it's very much like it's like paris in spanish, and
in most of the people are of italian ethnicity. So there's something really
actually about it and then and then,
gonna, throw it looks like northern california had never been developed, its use mountains in fresh water lakes and really really beautiful,
So I I think, having an argentinean mother helped, but also my last name is roads yeah, so I mean I've I've. Always I've always wanted to travel. I mean I remember. I read on the road by jack Kerouac when I was in high school, and that is what made me move to san francisco when I was twenty two I saw of of of
boys of avoid wanted to see the world and I've always wanted to travel, and I've always wanted to be a citizen of the world
and- and- and I am I of- of played on every continent, but africa in article eleven, cleaner
I did it in the seychelles,
seychelles islands last year, which is technically part of africa, but its its islands, so it wasn't on the continent of africa is one of the few places in the global market that are performed, because I did that salvation. South africa comedy festival editor
yeah. I did it with Steve Hughes. You know steep you, oh my god, seed he's one of my favorite human lives as are trying to do a podcast, I'm trying to pocket
when I'm in london and and unbridled europe. I've
What works for my podcast is when I'm really genuinely interested in the person, then it's a good podcast. Have you had people where your attention strays? There tell a story.
It was just like this. Just not does a natural conversation that we're having yet it's me being like it's just I just it's. The really tough
you can tell you, can totally here it and they give
very low downloads might it like, but and but instead of some of them,
thereby. So I and I live with a bright next
each other, so we hung out every single night and he likes to party.
so one of my favorite human beings on the planet and he's he's a genius he he was,
living in england for many
it was now. Is these live in backing in australia abilities? That's what I talked her breath, vincent and reference studies in australia. I, like andrea
Instead, I want to do a podcast with Andre vincent cause. I drove andrea, loves both of those guys and return. I drove andrea, rep Vincent crazy. I would make it around and bread
their brothers. I raise a comedian, bread is the bread, manages me for firm england, or does he really yeah and they put on a comedy festival in Austria,
four year in march. So all these guys, you like to go snowboarding they use
do it in mirabelle france, origin, which is in the alps in france, but I I they did it for like five or six years. I did it once in marabella and then I think they had some proper
with the the french people. So now it's in Austria, somewhere cod multitude,
every every march are either are issued.
There is a genuine traveller like he's got a job.
Anyone curiosity about the world which is odd, consider
and he grew up in one of the most restrictive communities in a group of aesthetic do and so the
I don't know it's one of those things which almost like mormons, like they they stick to themselves.
Now he's he he just bolted. The micronesia he's all right now, where's,
I don't know he disappeared, exceeded one developed grid, s left a cell phone, no computer know nothin here. Won't
if anybody didn't want anyone to know where he was nice he's going to spend, I think four months just floating around for months, yeah, nice here all I can.
big about as all the money sleeping on the road as unfair
upset. I mean it's it's great to do that. Like I just want to thailand for my birthday and tyler, you know type food is my favorite there there's a new great hotel.
I stayed at all my honeymoon five years ago. I did this honeymoon tour. I did I.
london then I went to asia on my honeymoon and its in chinatown in Bangkok, which is somewhere in Bangkok, where you most people wouldn't stay because its chinatown, but
it's a place called the shanghai mansion and its is boutique hotel. She,
I is one of my favorite cities in the world in china, but there's this ninety
in thirty style of shanghai, that you can't really fine
and in shanghai, but that's what this hotel in Bangkok,
is is, is style, don't like you find it in china a lot of its been destroyed. I mean, I don't think, there's the buildings and things like tat of a cultural revolution or something you have a china is very progressive,
china's and ensuring eyes is a really
exciting city there's people from all over the world they are doing,
animation journalism whenever there at psych mimi.
italian, swiss, french, american, irish, there's like in beijing you meet people who are kind of canada
did the government things like embassies in and things like that
hong kong. Is you meet people in the banking and
street, but shanghai is is very artistic. Future minded people.
Oh yeah virginia is really exciting place, but this certain nineteen, thirty style of shanghai, which is
very sexy period and in the world
by can be found in bangkok at this hotel?
shanghai mansion and then it is a short five block, walk on this
great street food mean Oliver. Bangkok is great review, but
chinatown is really incredible street food and then about a five block, walk
from the shanghai mention is the river in Bangkok, and so you can take these water
taxis up and down. There were the best temples where there's the flower market
which is twenty four hours a day which isn't just flowers, but I think those are some of the best photos you can take in bangkok. Appleton are really fucked up, not
you. They really did. They run. I've had that other two opportunities where I, where I met with
the travel channel showed them things I did and they ve passed on me twice. So,
and then passed the flower market
is
shit. What aroun, which is the temple of the reclining buddha here, which is this massive reclining buddha, but in that?
temple. They have a massage school where they do.
The ancient time, thai, massage or an hour, and that is like you know it's like eight books for an hour, so I would take the might of the river boat up to the water.
I did it twice and and and went and had
massaging the temple holy shit? What was it why I didn't I introduce showed someone
I made a thing on buenos aires dvd, a dvd, a little video little video clip, and I gave it to you and ask you to give it to them
they ever set the meeting up no
No, no, it was. It was several years after like yeah. I never I reached out to them from that, and I thank you for for doing that. But no, then,
never could get hold of anybody offer that and then about your exactly what they want they want and they don't envisaged.
Why? Why are guys, like I loved your show, because you were doing adventure, stuff and exciting stuff, but all these other shows where guys are eating, weird food and like and all these food programs like the like the guy, you can't
everywhere you go near. The others is the most amazing philly cheese take those shows bore the shit out of me. You doing big adventures. I could watch that all day
the I'm as much as it kind of fucked me up a real
we genuinely miss, I'm I miss the opportunity to travel,
well because we were basically travelling with a crew with my all. My friends so was really fun and I miss that wholeheartedly. But I do feel like I was left.
Jane, what possible success I can have in this industry for just a really good time like it was like it was fun, but the money
shipping, the money wasn't a blast or the money wasn't like astronomical is good
it is more than I was making on the road at the time, but then part of music was like I don't I feel like. I should be really.
we're doing an hour and and and hanging over the store and doing my pod gaston and run doing scripted?
trying to sell feature- and like I feel like I go, I didn't just come at this excellent. If you will come at
I will channel in India I why and http in food and cooking going
mrs my opportunity to get on television. That was an opportunity
for meeting on television, but not my opportunity. I'd I've had a lot more opportunities. L,
where I could go on television nineteen different
so I was like, but the travel was fun.
And I'm telling you what to say this, and I dont know little
No, what I don't know
We all want them right at this moment and who live. Why I got. I got to pay
something to them about three.
Ago or two years ago, all new people right now and last year and then and they they passed twice there. It's all brand new people like
there's not. There is only one person that nowhere owns them. Scripts. Scripts is your perfect for this fuckin network. You really are what's what's. Frustrating is not a beautiful indian wife from HOLLAND, whose photographer
because, because what they always wanted out of me and then I would never be able to deliver, is just this conversation we're
right now. The fact that you know about shanghai architecture and
or the toboggans lighted, the great wall of china, india and- and I mean that
That is the one thing you know I always looked at. Travel channel is as through the eyes of like, like ours, all both branded.
We think why didn't? I never came out it as I like, like Andrew zimmer
is a very knowledgeable traveller. So when he try
goals. He will be a spouse,
a bunch of knowledge to you from what his insights are. Never that guy, as always like
shouted water, always my first experience of it for drinking.
in the candy shop- and you know the different heads of the changed at different times- wanted different things from me and, and I don't know- and I was always changing like I dunno I dunno I dunno,
you're, if anyone I know DEN others us into this right now I note in others
I dan Dan, my forehead
make a meeting with in your head when yours,
send an email is doing dan and see if you guys, just a group email the to you
If you guys can talk about a show that you guys could do because he
in their meaning, like he producers for them they love what he makes and he now
knows full well that right now half way through this interview, arbitrary, like fuckin research,
Tom roads guy, because you are
They want, but they just don't know what they did
but other know. You know why
I shouldn't the travel channel, be about travel.
I mean this seems to be a lot of food on there, but you know I've been made
These travel videos that I have on youtube forever and I stopped drinking
years ago,
slimmer than I used to be. You got him
in cigarettes two years ago.
I stopped smoking weed a year ago, so I'm completely sober now has a house that transition been what are eight.
What am I going at, which I had done it years ago for real Yeah shoe almah
god? Yes, I mean I I of of loss about twenty pounds, just from not imbibing thousands of calories every night and then I don't feel like shit half the day because I'm hung over and so what's really great is
comedy is the drug again like when I started. When I was seventeen I was
I mean I was excited all the time like just write and jokes taken it on stay
age. The excitement of is gonna work. Am I going to stop
bore because I don't have it totally polished in my head. Yet it's really exciting and it's really fun and
there's a lot of great things have been able to do like, because I have so much time. We put my hands to dedicate, to my mind,
passions. I started working on a book five years ago about my life.
Traveling the world is a comedian.
I finished the first draft last year and
I'm trying to get that presentable to publish this year. That's
that's what I thought I would love it. Also. I wrote my new hour cause I'm going to film my next hour special this year, yeah and fujifilm it
I'm trying to figure that out now all since good place, not that I love austin
you'd be great in austin, but but I,
I have someone interested in in my travel. Show idea we're gonna start to pitch it to networks in a few weeks. To the thing is
I feel like media is changing so much that part of me feels like you could probably get it online
in one of these yo see so sir or or amazon or netflix netflix is great yeah and ended. They would pick it up. I don't
no candidly, and I am sure everyone knows this, but if you like, I dont know what eyes I dont know that the eyes you'd want to free. You will be a travel channel like I think those are different. Like yours, I see a younger viewer watching. You
I see guys at listen upon gas being interested in you. You know like this. Eighteen, thirty, four demographic, that's mostly male. Looking
You go and fuck man. I want to step I want to I want to. I want my life
rich. I want to have course.
It is our negative bangkok. You know I mean I think I feel like that. You're done,
ilog, you have the fans, the same dialogue that is ingested by rogan fans. You know by the like the desk community, so it makes sense yeah. What would you, but I mean you know why you'd think in terms
of of of demographics. I mean, I know the networks do and I think that handcuffs them, because you know you,
Well, where are you going to find a young pretty guy? Who has all this worldly experience? You can't doesn't exist but you're, not you don't look old. I would. I would never think you are fifty when you said you're fifty I went off. I was like oh he years older than me, but I earned it baby god now,
Jordan and I were sitting there might write it. No yeah yeah michael, were sent, impress lexington,
yeah and he goes so how long you going to do this for, like just candidly comedy yeah, and I put me into a fucking spiral when I started going like
we may look at my aging myself out and then it was like when we hold fuck, I'm so young economic rugged. Forty eight burst forty nine merits fifty two tonnes. Fifty
These are all guys we're working still with a fucking like a sort of spitting out and then another things question was done even about that.
But something totally the hollow out on you and we were in a veteran may look louis seek I didn't hit until he was in his late. Forty see, I think George Carlin did the best work at the end of it
like I don't think I am anything to say until he was in his fifty sphere and, like I said about its all about your experiences, so
I think, as you get older, you you're you're gonna be a better comedian, especially because you
You ve got the seasoning of you know you're
got nervous on stage. He knew how to present yourself and and your your jokes and stories. What feel like, I feel, like I notice I never use the word craft nice nice, I feel like I feel like I am
I have grown into a storyteller much more. I found my voice a lot, a lot more distinctly through podcasting,
in these last four years. I've found my voice and an end I feel like now. My point is: I need to write about these stories that I have lived. I need to write them and I need to get out of going to really great here
job joke, but was that going to get me at the end of the day when a big got laugh was like? I should really be focusing on these issues
I have the last seven years. How do you go about writing about your travels?
my god, you bring that up. My wife is degree.
Just comedy coach because she's been around it for so long. We ve been together for like nine years, so she has a really great comedy brain.
and I'm trying to get rid of our. I move. I've moved past the dick jokes in the sex jokes, because
I have so much more to offer with my intelligence in and experiences. My wife has such a great comedy brain. She thinks the best jokes are many essays
did the this just her observation.
She's always encouraging me too, to write essays. So you know if, if, if I've got
I've got some idle time at home. She'll be like what do you want to write an essay?
because you know constantly reading I put out these weekly videos called knowledge nuggets. I've seen em a love of I'm sitting in front of my book collection and that's what I I had everything in storage for ten years. While I travel the world, we are nets. Basically, what I had in storage was
massive book collection and what you can see on the other side of the room is my massive vinyl record collection
and then in the other room is my massive cd collection. So I'm sitting in front of my wall of book,
x and she's, always like don't read anymore books. Could I'm constantly
eating and I'm reading
You know the wall street journal the new york times the Washington post just taken in somewhat,
information
and I love books, a always reading,
so she's. Always like you, ve read enough. You
spit out. The overlap
Thank god. Stop or now so
You know right essays level. You know don't taken anymore, I'm from
sure, but I mean I can't stop reading cause, I'm addicted to what do you like reading?
nonfiction, mostly I, like it,
work things. I love biographies. You know any any anything. That's like factual, informed,
vision, but also I liked being there. That's why
about all the european elections.
I'm reading all the time. I like no one
happening in the world and also I love like trap
books and travel met, magazines and things like that. I devour the travel sections of
new york times in the vote.
Austria journalism is is one of the most excellently written papers
even though it's a little, it's got a conservative slant.
Their travel things they always right about art. Art happening
around the world I have rights and other obsession of mine, also his art art in art, history! Really young. Will you always like this year
like. When did you mean? I guess in my you know?
early twentyth. Maybe san francisco had something to do with really I get a red the wall street.
It was weekend cause I was like I was like you know I was like I am. I I get it I get depressed being in my phone, like it just kind of it. I call it my therapist and I call it scrolling. I can't stop scrolling and I just keep reading and reading like going like flipping through it
until this weekend I was like I'm going to go, get a cup of coffee with the wall street journal on Saturday and an eye
great article on far and- and I ended up, read the whole thing about fine, how diverse fuss and how to make it.
rate far and I was like. Ah, that's one of the clues things it for
me is I'll. I do love, I do love cooking, so I love cooking and in making things we found
broader, or I do to my what my life now like taboos, she's, always ain't. Oh my wife's indy
and so she makes indian food but type food is our favorite,
she's all you know it's. What I always say is: do you ever because we live in an apartment building and you ever walk past an apartment. You ever live in an apartment building, oh yeah! We walked past some place where you know
many people live yeah and you can smell like some amazing food. My cousin in class and philly, that's my apartment relay key
that's where I live now: shut up bugaboo. We love food, I'm just tired
heard of seeing it on television.
That was always my butt curious thing: I'm not a maoist
latest rival, general budget food rate, so well that they would have a browser. You guys got food,
work and the cooking channel we should travel should just be about travel
and I think I want to say that in all honesty I had one of the few
who shows that was just spirit.
about travel about going to do something and doing something and not eating, but I loved eating segments
I love that we went to hawaii and eight with the ship that had cooked for the obama's and he made this pork belly. Well. That was that I am, I
and I was never good travel host in the sense that what I, what I thought was funny was never brand friendly, but I remember telling him I was like a dick tasted like this. I had a bruised knees. He fuckin love that pork belly it's funny and
the islands. It do like this slow, roasted pork that takes days wise one of em. Another one is bali. Raleigh has got this incredible, slow, roast pork too, takes days, while is a muslim country. Right
bali is in indonesia. Indonesia is a muslim country as the highest muslim populated country in the world, but the island
bali itself is hindu, ok, yeah, where's, your wife is your wife, and do
No, she is an educated european woman who believes in science and reason. Oh okay. I guess that would make sense, but her family is is hindu, worship from a amsterdam in holland yeah she, my wife, is it couldn't be
for exotic because she's indian, but she she was born in surinam or families from surname, which is one of the small countries. Above Brazil,
really you got Diana french guyana. Surname surname was a dutch colony and the dutch traded. What is now manhattan for surname
three hundred years ago, seem like a great trade, but probably
one of the worst trades of all time so in loads.
Vivian people live in surname, but there are so many generations removed from india. They have no idea where there from in india- and they all speak dutch, because it was a dutch colony and her family emigrated to holland when she was one years old oak or so she and therefore their food is very it. It's it's india,
food, but also caribbean food, because, ah, sir, and and the rabbit of the spiciest shit, fucking love. They love me because I'm the one white guy who loves
spicy foot. I love. I that's the one thing I the first time ever at indian food. I just
it was, but it was land and I are by second date. I never had in food.
And the guys like how hot do you want it and I was like I want to regret it. I
was sweating through dinner, like it kicked in immediately,
I used to love that fuckin place scalp
It's all sweaty in your hair is soaking wet. But where do you and your wife like sit and talk about travel? Go by going hey, you know we should go yeah, all that
I'm she's never been to argentina yo.
And it's been five years since I've been so what we're talking
Without doing now we're probably gonna start later. This month we found a place.
not far from where we live, we're gonna start taking tango lessons here: yeah
because when we go to buenos aires, we were to go at the end of the year, because
Their seasons are our opposite like there in the middle of summer. Right now we are- and we don't want to
we do want to learn the tango when we get there, we want to be good at it, so
go out: war, anger air, so we can go to the mill.
Does any. I me lol.
is a club where you go and do the tango view. Miss do miss drinking at all, not at all
I know a lot about wine so like we do. We want to rome
couple years ago, when I'm in rome or or france or somewhere. You know I'll other ideas that, like that
well I'd like to have a glass year, but yeah I'd I'd. I don't miss it. That was what got me starting drinking.
and right I'd quadrillion when I was twenty, eight, twenty nine, maybe now sturdy on our story, I quit drinking like for twenty nine
thirty and Leon I went to ITALY want to venice. We go out to through say more
square and start snowing, and it's late and we're going to get dinner, and it's just did not it's brand new snow. It's all over
How are we going at dinner and I go up- and I was I condemn-
I want a glass of wine and she
my only an is just one as people, just like those in a violent
If I see you have a problem, I'm going to stop you a bit of violence. We have a problem, I'm not going to
albion lands. I get a glass of wine and I was I that was my first drink. I had after I think, like eight months,
and I started- and I was like us and we have the greatest night we got lost
snow and we stayed out until like one them.
Winning and no one was on the streets snowing in venice and venice wow. That must have been sex and fucking. One of the coolest nights of my life. I mean probably the reason. One of the reasons I love her is that she's
she's. A lot like you in that unoriginal north, that's a southern
nobody's. She was like fucking get the fuck out of georgia when she turned.
twenty, two or whatever, and she moved to new york. She's gonna see this world. I like people like that she's.
She's really excited about this london trip to you
I much I got tickets round trip for the girls from london village. Three hunter,
in fifty dollars. Each file
and they're sitting in a sofa on new
Elinor. They got big, the chairs turn into a sofa and so
I was like fuck we're going. What should I do in london is
then you'd, rather you know, the museums are free. The british museum is one of the
greatest museums in the world
everything in there is stolen from other countries like the day of the elgin marbles. There they were taken from the greek parthenon, really
you know, there's stuff from the egyptian pyramids. The than the british museum is everything: that's not british! That's what
I when, when you want to hang out with Steve hughes, every conversation he'd ever have would revert back to imperialism yeah, he would always has asked the british
imperialistic yeah, not there's grab it now. It's mine and he's really into conspiracy theories, he's really interesting guy to talk to either, and I dunno. If you can, you probably can't take the
daughters there, but when I was drinking, there's a place in london called gordon
wine bar it's near one of the train stations. I forget which
train station. It's near one of the main train stations on Mary, the gordons wine bar and you'd go it's cool.
Downstairs in like these basement catacombs and they there the the ceiling is, is arched.
I was living overrun when I was single living in europe. It was a great place. I would take girls on dates, as
great place to get a bottle of wine and sit there and its truly magnificent gordon's wine bar. I just send it to make. As I love it
I'm love it. The I had wine I last there I saw a game at emirates stadium for where arsenal place.
It was also that was also really cool
so when you travels great man when you travel, do you wake up in the morning go and what
the dirty research before you I'll search plan it out. You know like when I went to the temples of an I had three,
is there. That was a really cool thing. I did cause I'd read about those temples. My whole life, so I had it, took, took driver firm, sixteen dollars a day,
charged me, but I gave him twenty dollars a day, guy
I had him all day.
For three days so the first two days I went till all the temples and and then I kept the third day free to go back to the ones that I liked the best
really yeah, and it was really I learned. There's did the temple top problem, which
It was in the did. Did
tomb rate or movie with Angelina jolie, the laura croft film yeah, that's the temple with the tree growing on top of it. So you go there and are a it's such a great temple with this tree on top of it, but there's just hundreds of tourists everywhere and you can't get a good
out of it. So on the second day we were there. There's this one innocent
The guidebooks can be misleading the there's this one temple where it says its the best place to be four sunset, and we went there and there's like thousands of people there, it's so crowded and it stinks because there are too many people, its overcrowded. So I had my took the driver take
mean straight back to top problem and there was nobody there. So I got great photos of it,
It was with no one in the shot really so go to top prom at the end of the day and skip the one that they say to be at at sunset. Really, are you going to as your broker have but, like almost like, be part,
guide book as well for someone I nice, maybe a little better, no hadn't thought of that. So, like what lady I I've been,
trying to explore talking about travelling on stage, but every time I do I feel like there. I feel like I feel like I. I don't know if you like a disconnect with them. That makes sense. That's funny. I had eaten Gallagher
came up to me in vegas about five years ago. Afterwards, I heard he does this heavy seizure show he critiques it and he said
I don't think you should talk about trade.
evelyn the world.
Do alienate your audience when you do that, and I was like fuck you Gallagher, that's part of.
who I am I do. I use my egg water aliens and I'm not going to cater my show for the dumbest
people in the audience in I'm not up there like giving travel tips about.
Things, I'm talking about my actual experiences in these places. You know like theirs is I've been talking about? I stopped drinking
my
I was thinking about times in my life I was- I was really fucked up, and so I tell this one story about.
I was in galway, ireland, Galway, ireland is one of my favorite places in the world. A love. Ireland, Galway, as the spot words go away, go away, is on the west coast. It's about
two and a half hour journey on the train. It's a mini san france,
scope, sea, port university city and their street musicians,
where, on the main, pedestrian shopping, spree, there's music, everyone so many great. They do a comedy festival every october, at the one on rare books. No, that is kilkenny,
But have you lived in ireland and you were gay or a musician? You would move to galway, it's just the the the archie place so
Oh, I was in Galway years ago and I was so drunk. I woke up in the middle of the night, my hotel room to go to the bathroom
into the bathroom and the door closed behind me, but what it actually happened was. I was now in the hallway- and I was locked out of my room
and I don't know if you ve ever been naked and drunk and had to approach the front desk for another key issues:
Is it true story? Yeah, it really happen, will give away then the punchline, yeah and then
the story, the biggest blunder that ever happened from drinking.
I was plain in hong kong years ago when I stated the shangri la hotel and the
nice is so tell of every state at my life beyond five star opulent luxury, and
the first day I was there. I walked around and soaked the city and my balls. I had never been to hong kong before and have since been there many times, but they put a goldfish in my room with a little note:
next to it in its head, travelling is sacred, but no one deserves to be alone. That's what we provided this friend the goldfish to keep you company during his stay
yeah yeah? So I tell the story and does something happens in the story I was so drunk and but they they they took my goldfish away. They took your goldfish away from you,
you deserve to be alone,
Well so like these, though the stories they're not leg, I'm not like you.
restaurant tips in dubai. You know I'm I'm talking about real life, things that happened to me
and dumb mine always turn perilous moody mean mama.
travel stories that I find myself getting drawn to r r perilous. Like I talk about, you know running out of oxygen, it fiji at ninety feet. I was drowned in thailand, diving really now what happened? Writing
I don't want to cut off your fiji. No, no! No, my fiji story goes nowhere because the only thing that was in my fiji story, that is because we don't for us, we had a dive planned. I think it's sixty feet, but I dropped down to ninety and as soon as you do that you fuck up your air, you fucking die for everybody, but you fuck up your air yeah, and so
well. I was fucking around at ninety feet, not even realizing that I'm way away from everybody and my god came up and was like you're out of air takes a regulator, puts it. My mouth
and a smile. So my diamond structures is my first first as my think. Third technical open wondered I've, and- and
First thing you think you know in that moment, you're like I'm going to die my family, my kids and all I thought was someone had curry for lunch and I was like I could
feel her career man, ones like, but but but
this term, perilous falling off the waterfall or or you know the one I'm
telling now. I had a really great experience in space on rogan. I had a hose in vietnam.
we ended up smoking, a little azure pot and then have
a few beers where the farm stay. I dont know where I can that's. Why I'm so bad at this, I don't even know who the fuck we were like done. Loi or somethin done wrong
anyway. Don't hang? No, not denying it was. I don't know anyway I geller buzzed at the corner of my eye, so they have a motorcycle all russian europe. So I go to the guys. I mean we modify too
I'd always heard, eighty percent of fatalities happen when you're drinking and driving on a motorcycle, eighty percent, and they tell you that so that your don't drink and drive. But what I heard is must be fuckin magic,
Well, if everyone's willing to risk their lives doing it sounds like. Do you mind if I take it for a spin he's like I noticed, you've been smoking and drink and I was like a hobby goes: fucking love it
Is it gets him good, music or ministries, rice, patties and open it up, so the bit right now
What do I do that in the middle of a broken called me, because that would be done? I'm fucked up or motorcycles through rice, patties, vietnam and he's like dude. If you don't talk,
this one stage you're wasting these experiences he's like this is what life's about these very inspiration
talk, I have an economic factor. Gonna keep driving around like forgive,
recent, my shadow, sunsetting and I'm having this you ve amendment
the eye opening into my wife calls she's like, and I answer it's like. What are you doing? I'm like orzo over Joe I'm fucked up riding motorcycles to ride space like get the fuck off the bike, but so mine always steer that way
and I liked that he has it's a good story and in the end I get into bed that night and the owner of the farmstay came in and gave me a puppy because he's just a great great thing.
having experiencing comedy, is too to own. Your silences and to be comfortable and telling a story that might not have a murderous, ending the if your passionate about and I've seen you
every you. You are impossible. You are incapable of telling a story without funny beats all threw out it. I wouldn't be so
conscious of Benita. I wanted to see the value in it did it was your experience in it. You know it's
thing that you want to share with the people I need to. I do you
the store more to my benefit and not go.
there I go there, sometimes with the with, I think ego at the forefront of my kill, yeah yeah
yeah. I think everybody has that cause it's right
I was just such a place. Ass such
mecca of comedy that you go. I don't
We want to go to the store and not deliver put. I would I want to be as the get like
the guy who goes up the store and goes no. No, no, this is for me this moment is for me to do better,
And then, when I go on the road it'll be better, and that's where I take my once. I figure it out
here on the road, while the on the road I'm doing in an hour every night as you are, and that's also a great place to.
I try new material. I write a lot on the road to, but it's a but I find I need
you know what I want do. I want to go to a place where, like literally you complete like, like the vote, the haha and just fucking,
really own the silence and when you said that only silence I was like. Sometimes I don't
The silence is as good a storytellers I am sometimes I
nervous in the middle of it, and I start lowbrow on it. For them, like
you know me I rushing it like when I was younger. I would panic when there would be with it would be so.
silences him, so I try and rush it to get to the next point or or or punchline, and but but you know you got to own the silences baby yeah. I I that's a really prolific thing that I don't that I have not been doing.
I do in the machine story like in the machine story. I own the silence and I, but because I know there's funny coming up, but when first writing a story, I think I get nervous at the silence. I'm like. Oh, it's all working it out
the guy that runs that gig in Hanoi. He used to give motorcycle tours of north vietnam and his friends do it now. I'm gonna actually try and go back in september and do that
again, but just because I want to go ride, motorcycles and in north
it's not funny shit, we rode motorcycles.
and and the streets, absolute fucking, chaos,
of Hanoi a law is orange tree, lined boulevard yeah yeah its edge.
nor has such a european vibe like I really felt that when I was
It would not only like all and charming I love hanoi do member
you remember that I talk about the sandwich.
more than any one sandwich. I've ever had my life. They would make these street vendors, unlike like what looked like hot dog cart, would make egg sandwiches with shredded pork in them and the bread was so like
philosophy like meaning, like so light and airy that the eggs done over easy in the bread, we'll get absorbed by all the nooks and crannies, the bread. So it didn't spill out everywhere.
And all I was wanted in it and asians I've from what I've understand- asians predominant
you- have have our lactose intolerant right are there and I think so I think they're, the number one, those lactose intolerant black people too. I think I just heard that somewhere, but
Ah, so they don't have cheese on the bread brows, like man, umbria, some americans,
it sucks time and just go ahead and put that under there first, some nice good cheddar, horseradish cheddar or I'd like to go back to vietnam. New Zealand was my favorite place, while the island is one,
The faith of my favorite places have ever been a more just magical right. I did the new zealand comedy festival three years ago. Big gonna call me festival there. You do two weeks in auckland and then I did the best of the best tore at immediately after so I did one week doing
theatres, all over the north island and then one week to an theatres all over the south island. So not, and I really got to see I didn't
but it's Queenstown and I didn't go to wellington. We thought I went pretty much everywhere else. I've been to invoke cargill baby, that's like at the bottom of the earth.
That's the southernmost city in new zealand. How does your address your? I know your active,
changed. But how does your approach to what you are talking about an stays change
from, say her noise to new zealand. To lexington I mean
I do what I do. I don't know you don't want to. I don't have like regional stuff. I don't have like just american specific references. Your do you know I, I think,
that's where, like talking about your world experiences, come in handy because they want to hear it they want. They want to know about you, but you know,
well written joke. I mean I don't have one style. I have stories, I have one liners, I god damn you know, do social, jokes, mildly, political, stuff, personal stuff,
but I didn't have any limitation at all there. I did what I you know. I did.
I did it an hour- show every night in the classic. That's the the old best comedy club in auckland, where the festival is so
interred every night and then on the best of the best tore. It was me and like five other guys- and I did twenty minutes every night-
So then it was really easy to crunch everything down to you know the the your best jokes for the twenty, but did you to win so so? How will you, when you move to amsterdam,
when you moved there for a girl, correct yeah, and so how were you when you moved to Amsterdam, I two thousand, so I was what thirty three thirty three and
At that time you had been performing much out of the country correct. No, no,
I had done this hong kong. China tour once now how much
I did the melbourne comedy festival in two thousand and australia. So I was
I would just starting to yahoo just
nor do the international stuff,
adding like ninety eight,
in ninety nine? I first started to play europe and then two thousand will not yeah. I did the hong kong tour and ninety nine did that did that move change?
Yeah, it's exciting, and now, for me, the most
I thing in the world is to go to different countries and
you know the. Could you have to make an adjustment when you're on stage?
mentally and like you, do have to drop a few minutes
got a job. I lied and realise how american pop culture reference heavy. My act was yeah until.
Like how much you want to go somewhere like gum or when I went to edinburgh.
I was like oh wow. All I do really is talk about mtv and like stuff I watch on t v like I was like. I don't think
many real life experiences, as was probably two thousand and then an
I was like. Oh, I need to really open my up. Opener up a little bit, even still I go I'm so american heavy like when I go to canada, I realize how often am I going to say that
mv and my jokes. I mean I've the dmz for every.
were staring at me like I, I work at the dmv and we skipped over your number ha it's like an immigrant at the dmv and I'm like what the fuck man like. Don't I
anything other than this, like small circle, of which I I
brave. Inside of you know, you're not don't do a lot of pop culture. References and you mean the one benefit we have is
most everybody in the world knows american culture and are you know politics everything
you know that you mean asian
in korea, Japan and they are the biggest hip hop fans in the world.
I was in osaka, japan, and I saw these guys dressed like
los angeles mexican cello guys what the the flannel shirt, where the two buttons just at the top or button
the white t shirt underneath and like the hare net, like guys, justly
dad in l a unlike the eighties yeah- and I went up to
guys, never like a man and they were in the lake.
it can l a car culture like with the dawn the cars they do. The the bouncy front misses in osaka, Japan, the people just there's certain parts of american, a niche culture that that people grab onto and adore. So I think we've got that going for us, but you know like I, I love jokes. I love writing jokes and there's there's this there's this new joke. I've been doing for a couple months and Adolf hitler wanted to be an artist
yeah he wanted to be a painter, but he wasn't that good at it. He sucked that's why whenever I see an artist selling his paintings on the sidewalk or at a festival and they're, not very good, I always buy a couple, never know what holocaust you could be preventing. Yeah people come over. To my.
a house and they go man, you're tastes and art sucks, and I go you ever think of their lives. I'm saving suddenly like dad joke is going to work anywhere in the world. You know, everybody knows hitler and there's the theirs
there's nothing! That needs to be changed about that. That's so so writing those kind of jokes dead.
Are universally funny is, is what I'm after me up? I feel like I'm a flicker of tat bitter. I feel like I'm. I've had my hour my next hour, but it's not.
I've. I feel like two things. I had a conversation with burma to show the night. I'm not challenge my. I need to find a way
added challenge myself to do something out of my comfort zone. That will help me grow as a comedian like right now. I'm really
focusing on getting into character when I have the character talking, you know or or or the
thing. I did this last hours I was I was taking bit where I was lazy and I was really trying to rework them, so they were tags inside them in
make the writing a little smarter and stop saying suck. My dick is my punchline. You know
and so on, and so this one I was like as they come. I'm an affirmative try to get into
characters allow characters into my story more and stops and stuff. Like that
she says like what or am I doing something,
all knives like, and then she was ike and just do the character and character dictated characters, always work and ass. He accents my life, that's one of her observations. Anytime. You see a comedian, doing a character or especially an accent that works everywhere in the world. So she's we didn't live anywhere.
Ten years and she travelled with me for aid of those years, and so that was one of her observations will that she pointed out like us doing these comedy festivals all over the world. Did you like?
any time anybody does an accent it it. It works. That was the big thing in africa. There is a kid nick. I forget his name, but he d
He could do dialects afghan dialects, so he do characters in there and their dialects
and it was a murderous destroyed.
Like an idiot. I looked at it and I was like that's a cheat and now I look at it and go play. That's not a cheater
doesn't making yourself better yet, as opposed to me I mean I'm so bad at accents. I do the story about heller, skiing,
in switzerland and I cannot do it was.
And it ends up satellites, father, guido sgi.
so. Here's what we're gonna do like I'm like that, I'm just so!
I did vote in accidents but think of no use at my money. I did
as with the accent on my last. Our really worry about you. I did this thing about belgian chocolates.
did. They ve got a problem with pedophilia in belgium. You think, maybe that's why they make such good chocolate suckers little kids are smart and we'll get in the Van ratio target. So there's a great one night or tour across switzerland. Really it's phenomenal. You have done a twice. What
you do Geneva whose how you up with these brett? No that's from living in that's from living in europe,
All the trouble run. Now you do,
geneva loose on basil.
in zurich, it's phenomenal and their little theatres. It's such a great tour really, so I did that jochen engine
eva and after the show the swiss woman comes up to me and she goes your joke about the belgian child molester. I was wondering why he did not use the swiss chocolate
Thank everyone in the audience was wandering lies in north, using those words, chocolate and I just think it too
there is the woman was concerned that the child molesters, my joke, was not using the best chocolate available.
I said, lady, let's be honest if the guy would add a tumbler own. I would affect him, that's the best, but that's it. That's a joke from my last hour that I have since retired, but it's funny that you say this was because I dont I'll do too many
hence, but the one I had attempted was the swiss, so I tried because they speak. French
On the genie
loosened side and on the
is all basil, zurich side. They speak german,
Well, we flew in zurich. When we went to switzerland and just had a
amazing experience when it's one of those little
He shall is where you have hot white one
Well, there ain't, no I've had the the warm red wine.
in winter. The mood of wine is that maybe what I am who I blow you said why
I know I thought it was white. I thought was warm. Why don t we are real christmas thing and I played in
an egg in denmark.
years ago in december, as it was a few met a few weeks before christmas and they
hold it on the street, and it was this it was it was. It was hot red wine and it came with a little wooden spoon in your car.
Because there was raisins and nuts in the bottom
That was really cool, meaning
Imagine somebody selling alcohol on the street like Alan,
made stand in the united states. He'd, never see that too, but in denmark, the here's. This did this their selling warm red wine with nuts and raisins at the bottom,
just seems like something you gotta do like NATO yalta. These open torches along the boulevard in in copenhagen I did like vikings, would have, which is his big.
Open flames, and you would never see that america has. Some moron would go stick his face in the fire
so he could see the city there's one things
to turn to an theme parks over in europe and they were sent
This one rise: Emily was Michael Jackson, tried to buy tivoli in copenhagen,
There's one where they have: they have like it's like a pendulum ride, but you're not buckled it.
You're too everyone's just in their together and also
What does someone gets hurt may go? Oh, the partial sue you want what and they go yes, not
Can the states where you'd, through the part you get her out of the park, will see you when you get in trouble, and I was like oh shit. I bet that fucking avoids a lot a good god. The water parks over in europe are pretty fuckin phenomenal. They ve got some pretty amazing waterworks. Where I forget, I went away
old wadi in dubai, not a big fan of do by that's one place. I would never go back to really, but their water park was pretty decent wild wadi or in europe too, by its very soon
aggregated you've got the american hospital next to the canadian hospital. There's an english school there's, an american school
and then you see the slave labour. There are filipinos, an indian people from India and there being
bust around the city on old american school buses with bars on the window, wow didn't care for it. Now. What about other muslim countries?
I've been indonesia like indonesia, malaysia is one of the best that their very
and then the women are also kind of very sexy, with their headscarves are coloured
to malaysia is one of my favorite countries to visit the
Food in malaysian food is incredible. Singapore used to be part of malaysia
Food is very similar. There's did they do this black pepper crab that I would fly to singapore or kuala lumpur just to have the blue,
pepper, crab release its or gas mick, and
It's very messy. You get it all of your face and hands, but dumb it some it's incredible. What
So what do you feel about like? I was us into this interesting talk about Islam.
a phobia and can have another yeah. Of course, royally
Why worry so much really here? The best expert, of course, really is fuckin delicious. It's a fantastic cigar and the outage was so gutter. Currently here you go thanks. Babe and, of course you are a prince of a man. What is
What's your thoughts on I've been listen is really really interesting. Conversations there's a podcast, I listen to from SAM Harris and they're talking
well. You know what the travel ban and what not to talk about islamophobia and how the southern poverty law centre
sue- is suing islamic people who are credit criticising islam. What I've heard
yeah absolute partlet poverty law and pursue this guy. I wish I was smarter, italian everyone's name, but he
is
he's o using
the one is that uses the straight cut the vehicle fuck it up.
No not yet, on the other one yea.
May I wish you had a right the first time I think, but em they're they're suing people that are are talking about
got that are created criticising islam, so apparently in this is this is a rough estimate in mind
perception, because I know I don't know, I'm not exactly a horrible at this, but they're talking about the the travel ban and I
Currently there are some and then, by the way, I'm interchangeably using muslim in Islam and I'm sure that's not accurate, but
I know islamophobia is the word they're using so there
they're saying you know the travel bans not way to go about affecting change they doin. The way to effect change is too
For these moderate islamic people to change within within their culture stuff, like
their views on homosexuality and their views on women's rights.
And the burka does an because they're doing that and criticising
their own culture. The southern poverty law centre is suing them for racism, so the big problem is with the left of the left. Apparently, supports show
your law and and they're saying any critique by the way, this probably totally fucking wrong and you could teach coming from the lap and equity
about. We need to change surreal on Islam and in change them.
Is racist, so they don't want you
this is the one allows sharia law which is
more inherently oppressive to those who work hard line die hard muslims that make sense you I I don't know exactly what you're too
about by as much as american people talk about their fear of sharia law. Here we are
going we're getting closer to having our own version of that, because trump is gonna, get rid of the johnson act to the johnson bill
it was the separation of church and state where
non tax exempt groups like churches, can't
be involved in endorsing political candidates? So
letting more religious fanatical people be involved in our,
country and deciding things so I can't really come
on what what's happening in the muslim world?
I know loads of muslim people in europe,
who are gay straight everything you could imagine there just regular human beings,
a great love story with a muslim moroccan girl. When I lived in
amsterdam for a while
Malaysia is a very open minded. I know that,
If I live at some fanatics, try and pushed their government, but malaysia's an interesting
because it's predominantly muslim but there's
The indian hindus lived there
and chinese christian or buddhist
and the malaysian slogan is one malaysia,
meaning we're all one
they
You seem to be very chill, relax people, but you know the
there's a lot of hard liners in the middle east, and there is definitely a lot of fanatical muslims to frighten the shit out of every one of you travel to india. I have not.
In india I'd love to go to india yeah. I would too. India is one of the places it's on whether there is a place I will fly myself to. If I just if I could just get a new movie out this year called lion, I heard
This watch that movie- and I defy you not to
cry your eyes out at the end of their fill, really hit. His watch did a few nights ago,
Why were about a week ago, because what the sag awards were a week ago and I'm sag, so they sent me all the screener movies, and I watched that movie and cried my eyes out really here. It's incredible now. Do you
do you do you schedule your touring for the whole year.
parity just schedule it
I'm always booked up like six months in advance. Really so you know you'll be for the next six months yeah and he abroad step any trouble bro
I've got to do the job.
Similar in Amsterdam. Oh I bombed there. Did you really? No? No! No, I'm trying to think no. I was the one I bombed at the place that I dunno they. They did half the show in dutch,
and then switched and the like right now for the english portion. The show- and I was the first thing- is to go up and it just went horribly.
beg you- and I did in amsterdam- know that wasn't dutch new united, that television tape
nea that no. That was good on that yeah, but we did tumor the night before. That's what you mean you positive after tumor,
right, tumors, underground, create idea, tumor, it's connected to the amsterdam Hilton. That's where I fell in love with holland. That's a great clause! A great
so I'll be there.
Lie here. I have the dates. I will be a tumor in
sudan.
July. Nineteen to twenty two, and then I want to be done,
the double international comedy festival July: twenty seventh, twenty ninth holy shit
Are you doing all your dates? Yeah, please plug some day, I'm going to be in tampa at side splitters. On march, twenty third to the twenty sixth, your side splitters know Bobby Jewell,
Bobby jewel and then we'll be in atlanta, the laughing skull
room I've never done o seriously.
For six through the night, all you're gonna love it you're gonna love outweigh its
or shall trials. Young boys always got a kick out of that. I've always got opposed.
Atlanta I'm going to try to do a theater. I think this year in atlanta, because I I don't know none of that. Like I can't do, I mean I can do laughing skull
the eye in order to make money? For me
I gotta do like three shows a fuckin saturday, and I just it's too much
like I just end up losing my mind so monsieur it shows is too much the
and so and I dont want gouged ticket prices. So, like I, like, you know what, but every time I go there and going in
when a gig there, because it's just so fucking great and I've worked, weakens their the greatest place. Do we
I heard it was phenomenal its I've never done it it's great, but it seems like I think it's like any people. Eighty people yet and are not in mind. My new thing right now is like
I was trying to secure about it is finding things are starting to do this as a gene papa tom pop about it,
is fine and places that seat for twenty three hundred. Maybe you don't make no twenty one
thousand they're like some of the guys who do theaters. But maybe you can just do a night and, like you know like in philly, there's the truck seats. Six hundred, so you figure, I could probably move six hundred tickets within the I'll. Definitely move six hundred within the week,
and what, if I go, maybe I just to two shows on a saturday in our immune
and clear more money than you'd make in a weekend. So that's what I'm looking at like Detroit and I just got the list of theaters that I was interested in. I haven't played Detroit in like twenty years
Dude I've never been detroit. So you know what I'm doing I'm doing a kickstarter. So I'm going to do a kickstarter and say hey guys. I would like to come to Detroit. I've got the crowfoot. I told me the date, but I haven't figured out the I haven't. I haven't shot that the kickstarter.
hey if you, if you would like to come to my show, buy a ticket here. If I can sell whatever that, if I can sell that place out for twenty five bucks, a ticket then I'll come, and if I, if I hit this many, then then I'll show up switch and it's a way of instead of booking a theater and then shown up at mp and half full. It's a way to find out if you could sell the theater in incense. You know
I d goes under the radars, was thinking about doing that with a cruise j, big big jane. Our thinking about doing, though the crews and sell
eleven hundred dollar crews packages and see if we can sell, get all the money to sell out accrues above, but
was quite bans. Do that bans dual and then we started go and will forget what are we just get it s, a mass, the talent,
a lot of all things comedy roster alot of lake lot of guy
all of us here and have someone foot the bill for us and just how
it's so it's favoured nations. We all get free rooms on it,
in our podcast do shows, but then I start getting all this fuckin work in my head and I go. I should be working on my stand up, maybe a little more than trying to put together a fucking cruise. What am I fucking one of my love
you know like I'll, do it all. I mean you know, there's that stigma of comedians on cruises, I've. I have never done one other. It's. I think it's changed a tad bit, but I mean like where, like bands stood and I've heard of some comedy shows where like if it's a specific thing, but you know your events and that's not like being a bodak, the the impractical jokers do a cruise.
and they sell it out and they bring stand open and own. Benjamin and big jaded bring all these concrete comics and then they do alive
so they do some shooting on the boat, but then they also do they also dude stand up so a people to stand upon him. I just
joy cruises. I really did so silly really yeah I enjoy. Am I gonna kick at home billboards megaphone
He won't grew gas, so boxes special last night of violet dead travel.
Traveling I dunno was very fun. I don't want to think yeah. I don't want to think that's so me love it going and getting a good
You know the only thing I don't like is I don't like the excursions I like staying on the boat, the whole fucking time. Really, you ever got on the cruise went on
one in the mediterranean a few years ago, oh really, and we went all over greece sin that would be fully
yeah that was really great. Have you been? Where have you been in greece?.
But to the island of roads twice, because it's got my.
fuckin name on it
actually I gonna
in amsterdam. When I had off weeks, I would try and take as many trips around europe as I could really
so I went to the island of roads once in and people say it's the florida of europe, but aim Adam from Florida get the get off my dick authority
and I had always wanted to go there and I I actually swim naked the length of the entrance of roads harbour where the colossus of road stood. I accepted in its road city on the island of roads. The entrance of roads harbour were the colossus of roads, ones
stood, and I had to wait until like three o'clock in the morning I was already a little drunk when I got there and I brought a six pack and I sat there and drank it, and I had to wait until like three o'clock in the morning,
when these teenagers on mopeds finally laughed
And in so I slipped off my shorts and I got in the water and I I swam going across wasn't bad
add, but coming back, I'm not a strong swimmers. Why was I really doggie paddling on the way back, but I had to do it. I mean I act ferment
I thought this might be my Jeff buckley drowning,
the mississippi river moment here, but I had to do it in case he gave me any superpowers like
if it made my dick bigger, my jokes funnier, you know
I'm Tom roads swimming naked at the entrance of
roche harbor with a colossus of rhodes once stood, so I did it. I survived we swam when we were in, we were in corfu. I always brag about this place, the pink palette
it's one of the most interesting places I've ever been in my life partied aggressively hard there and the first day that ever took liquid liquid ecstasy, which I think is technically ghb, but
We go we're at the beach and it's me and my buddy rico, and this kid Andy and his kid tim and they're, like a there's like a little platform where, where you'd take off to go parasailing out in the ocean and then like, let's
Well, then, we'll just chill out there and we'll get some sun. I was like okay, maybe it's a hundred yards out, I'm guessing- and I just I Didn'T- is the first time
in school? I think grown up before you swim so much the first time
halfway, autos like oh! This is how people drowned like you get exists.
Still I can no longer swim and then you sink, and I was like oh fuck and by the time I got out there I was like I was exhausted and on the swim back I was like oh fuck,
this is work. It dangerous, but I just I just happen to me. I think it is because I was a little drunk yeah. Oh, I was deftly drunk when I do this. We did that another time it and in greece, where would we
with these girls, and there were like those bothers boats at their empty. Let's go out to a boat nang, I'm on it.
So we all get naked and we swim out to this boat and we get on this boat
And- and I realize I don't know if I can make the fucking swim back and they're like alright fuck it we can't get on the boat like we get. I think we get on the boat and then they're like there's nothing here. It's like a little is a bullshit boat and then
swim back and I was like motherfucker. I was like yeah. This is exactly a day. I was swimming
alabama with my wife has this-
house in Alabama and there's from one
I relate to the other. It's not it's not that far, but it's fits fairly far and my daughters called the alabama channel and my wife will swim. It was a really good swimmer and I I was this is the first time in my life. I was like we're bringing a life vest just in case like I just want to have something because my daughters had liked us on. I was like I'm bringing to life as just in case something
like a cramp or something. You know what I mean yeah, but we grew up in florida likes surfing out. New smyrna and you'd go out to the beach as my beach baby, the best fucking
I grew up going to news. We would skip school and go to new smyrna beach, and then you can drive cars on it yeah. So after homecoming and prom we would drive our dates out
two new simona beach and that's where we would make out and kiss parked on cars and his newsman beaches. My my spiritual home dude. I have a hard core connects with new smyrna.
my beach man. I can't believe you just mentioned this smyrna beach and I'll. Take it I'll. Take you to some old great friend.
Of mine from that I would eyes school with they live,
on this inlet thereon, new smyrna beach. So the last two christmases I went out
there and then we went on a boat ride to christmases ago. We did midnight yoga christmas. There was a
Full moon earlier on new smyrna beach by I've had some of them.
It is experiences in my life on new mode beach. We week we had a friend about it.
House, new, smarter and waste go out every every hour, like every long weekend from my freshman year,
in high school until my senior year of high school, I mean so much so that we would go out there, sometimes for our spring break and just spend the week out. There me ten kids, ten guys and
so I'm very familiar with it when sometimes when the wave of wouldn't be up in new smyrna they'd be up at another beach, so I'm doing an interview in ohio and as if the black dude is the dj, and he I said something to the effect of I grew up in florida. So I grew up in florida. I said, really goes yeah, so where
he said said you, I don't know it s a he goes new smyrna one are shut, the fuck up and then I
and nobody within the morning show- and so I go, do you remember the black beach and he was like everyone's like what did you just say? I said there was a black beach where back in the fifties, that's where the black people would go swimming and that if the waves weren't up in new smyrna, they were up at the black beach and it had a name and every.
They get so uptight that that racism was a thing, but the idea that I would bring it up road refer to it as a black beach. I know they had such an he and the kid goes. O buffoon commitment is the name of the book. Vetoes buffoon cook meant well, and it was an that's day: historic black colleges, both income,
yeah and so and he and it was so funny to see people seize up for fear of racism. When I,
and I wasn't saying I segregated beat.
As I was saying, there was a blue the beach when they were in the fifties. A biofuel would go
newt that experience in europe by experience in phoenix years ago, when I came by
from Amsterdam
I was on a mexican right,
the station- and I told them about
how the moroccans are like the mexicans in in europe in holland, where they had after
or to all these moroccans came to europe too, to rebuild after world war two and it was cheap labour and
they are discriminated against and and everybody jigsaw
so we say everybody got all weird like I was saying something out of control, but I was like I'm drawing a perfect parallel and their demonized in the press. Yeah. That's the way max
the greens are here in the united states and like these guys, all acted like I had said you know something out of line, but I was explaining what holland is like in
You know I think I was talking about the moroccan girl. I had dated so funny ice.
to our madrigal, we're getting a house done redone
us and I really grown affinity for these.
I working on the house mexican guys, like a really. I was really impressed by their work ethic by how fucking-
How in sight, for they were how they didn't how just how great collectively they were,
and I said, Alyosha had mexicans- get a bad rap mal our mexican for anyone who doesn't know our mexican and said the press, press demonized them in the fuckin fortys and videos, and they made him because what was his reason fuck? What was the reason I love everything
Second, culture, the music, the food and
I've had a lot of great trips in mexico. I loved so that all the the drug coral act activity when I use
to play in EL paso years ago would go over to war as unlike have lunch in the afternoon.
There is so many of us have been honoured
poco years ago been to cancun twice to go to church in its abilities, children. It is that no one thing,
I bet it alone yet to looms amazing. It's on the on
on the sea in years swimming? Next to these these these temple ruin just gorgeous. You got sand like cookie dough.
And it's like turquoise
blue water. It's so beautiful, really is gorgeous. There's a scuba diving like to do in cancun, where they have bad as they ve sunk, all these statues and its eye.
All these cement statues of all these like, like fifty seventy statues are facing the same direction and there are some standing on the bar.
in the ocean. I want to do it so bad, but when I went, the weather was shitty and that we couldn't have visibility was poor, so they cancelled the dive going to take you to worry about shit. Senator please
given that it was the rome of the mai, an empire and
It's an it's a means: wizards mouth and there's this big sinkhole there I'm from Florida. I know what a sinkhole is: yeah, it's a sinkhole and that is chits in it. So that's the wizard's mouth and they built all the temples next to it. The mayans thought this was the portal to the afterlife, so they would sacrifice people and throw the
bodies in there. You know in big elaborate ceremonies right next to chits in its, and these temples is one of the poorest village
Is I've ever seen in my life? No electricity, kids barefoot dirty face,
you know dirt floor dirt. Everything and
in nineteen eleven or something like that some archaeologists from Harvard went down there and excavated the bottom of that single and they found tons of gold
that were on. It was jewelry that was on the sacrifice, victims peter they were thrown into the sink hole, and it's funny to me that these people in this very poor village right next to it. I have lived there for thousands of years and never
Kurt any of them to get a ladder and seeing, if anything, is at the bottom yeah those were those we we ve, we ve we ve gone swimming in a butcher.
The notice of in brcko those fucking, those underground those
The groundwater never zone that about others. I stopped
one on the way to chip in its inside. But I I didn't get to do it. It looked fantastic.
it's probably one of the more one of the more spiritual moments I've ever had is in a in one of those big open, snow tastes and just floating around, and it's literally like
wall, seventy feet up and and and all
open sky with birds in the middle of the jungle, and you just like this. Is it
is what it's about. I've heard that there and then, where the fuck was, I everything blurs into one. You know that's. My problem of travel is everything blue
where's into. Did you finish here, you're thing on this one, a beach. I think I cut you off nothing and I m sure I did. I love you for
in the summer of new smyrna beach, also growing up in florida and everybody had swimming pools. Yeah so are the first girls I ever kissed and made out with was after a day of swimming
yeah. So to this day the smell of chlorine on a woman drives me crazy, really, love it. It's really yeah! That's so funny us! You know, what's kan Ook, if I ever come out with my own,
ignorance is going to smell something like chlorine and hawaiian tropic suntan lotion. I get. I get a flutter in my heart when I, when I go to a golf course at night. Oh, my god now used to kiss girls on golf course due to my god, fuckin.
Monsieur golf course. Every friday and saturday night we would all go
round. We all meet up and selfless zau tamper all go over diplomacy, a golf course, and just
Everyone just go out to the whatever to greet tease. They were and just on a fair way,
and just make out and hang out smoke grass so funny,
a body Russell Matthews is father passed away when we're freshmen college. He lived by the golf course
and we were at his house for the for the after the wake, and we all just went out to the golf course smoked. A joint drank some beers and just- and he was like he's like- let me select the first of our friends whose father passed, but to this day I'm going to a golf course. That was like I mean that was like any dance would read a country clubs you all take off on the golf course. I love golf courses at night. Oh, what's up baby hi, that's! Okay! What's this a alright astro? What are you doing baby? Did you just get back? Do you make any sales
really. Why are you giving me this? I don't want any of this all right. How old your daughter she is. She is a twelve was a popeye
okay, ga ga. I know where this is going to knock camera over. What's not filming this, oh yeah, I yeah yeah, no she's not supposed to be out here. It'll take her a bunch. Go, get her a treat! The dog fucking five knee surgeries, the dog
five knee surgeries, yeah five knee surgeries. Two on each and then an extra on one on her other one that started off. Has it's been a dog's, been a fuckin sinkhole of money. Speaking of singles where's your favorite place in greece, corfu corfu easily, but that nobody minds you.
was twenty two. When I was there okay, so it's a place called the pink palace run by a guy named DR george, I'd be shocked if he's still alive, he would come out and he would.
They'd seed get there, they give you a shot of ouzo. They go, go put your stuff in your room. Take all your clothes off put on your sheet of the sheets were pink,
put on your sheet- is toga and meet us back here and you'd. Go in it was a huge
jake ball room like you. It would be what a day just took all the time
although the cafeteria, where you were eating and then a bar there in a pool table in a football table,
and everyone would sit a circle and doktor george had an assistant with him. Who'd have four feet worth of white plate stacked.
and they start play the music by thunder and then turn you know, and everyone he'd sort dancing the greek dance in this
better and every hour cheering and then slowly, this really grab a plate and he'd flip in his hand and catch it and walk up someone and crashing over their head and fuck and people will go nuts. So everyone sit in a circle with their heads, dick and into the center circle, and he just Dancin taken place and smash him over your head. It was the fucking craziest thing: I've ever seen the stately member state on mtv, yet the state David wayne all the autumn, all them the whole state, except for Michael in black. Oddly enough, whom is the only one on friends with they were there? There were there that nay and now, and then
Adam and I knew the state was so grab them legitimate, huge fucking fan that I go cool and they're like wait. What's about to go on and I was like come on and so we go in and my end David wayne is there and they're just smashing plates over people's heads every night was a fucking party. I always say that we went to
in amsterdam- and I I this flying dildo story that I told an irish fear show at the storytelling show and in amsterdam, and I met these guys. I met all these
and then we went to the anne frank house, and I didn't know that I was, though anne frank and Helen Keller was the same person. So I end up with that. I know I know it's a I'd. Do this a bit now, so I won't run the bit by you, but ultimately I find out minute
I should any frank how's that it's not Helen keller, aubanus tom, Helen Keller, jokes. So all these guys-
as immediately or like. I will do anything with you. You are the funniest human being we've ever seen. I had eyed an hour before that I had a dildo shoved down my throat and a live sex place tied up, or
handcuffed naked and then this happens and I go we're gonna to corfu. So we all got
overnight train from greece, albeit on a bury gotten a boat at bury
over two core food land at corfu I mean we ve been traveling twenty four hours straight. The first thing we do when we get into the pink palace. They see the people too.
in Siemian they go the machine and I was like, and my friends were like shut. The fuck up. I was like this place is going to be fun.
Oh, it was great man. It was so cheap. Everything was like dirt cheap. It was such just such a everytime. I say serious. My fucking phone goes off really yeah because the serie butter, it was one of the coolest experience. I've ever had that backpacking through europe
I think that changed my cultural dna when I was twenty two living in russia and then coming over and backpacking around europe and bouncing around into interlock and I've since been back to Interlochen and it's crazy. When you go to a place, you haven't been in twenty years and you're like oh shit. I remember this place. Oh shit, oh get out of town like no way. Oh! This is that grocery store, like
yeah it's, but that was one of the cruellest life experience. I have back pocket through Europe. I think
I'm just born. We all, although I thought I'd say anyone should do that, but I just watch the Amanda knox documentary and it was terrifying like susan, some small italian, that too
village. You know that story right yeah and I started to watch that documentary and then I was like. Oh, I don't want to get into this or something more cheerful. Could what have you watched lately as good as mark
oh polo, aren't you gonna fuckin on yes on enough.
Speedy on it. You know it's true yeah yeah, why are they the guy? It's not gangs,
carnot, his son, kublai khan. The guy that place him
so great is big. Massive dude
acting. It is incredible. There is great fight scenes, the absolutely loved and devoured marco polo
before that I watched narcos, which is also amazing, the guy that plays published working, what a great actor aid here. The way you would hold this
stomach to certain mannerisms
acting in. That was incredible. If you could optional,
to any one historical figure, and you play that historical figure. Who would it be wow?
Well I mean I'm, I'm I'm obsessed with I've got a few historical obsessions
and one of them is crazy horse. But I couldn't play of jacob culture appropriated older guy, not gonna, play.
as we should wrap this up soon. I used my family's here. Family activities, I'm only I'm only home for a couple of days, so fuckin try to be apparent. When I can, my one daughter took off to some camp today.
Was the greatest joy, my life seen: how excited she was. She was so like the look on campus,
It's it's like, I don't know to be honest with you, because it used to be astro camp, but they changed it. And now it's just lie in lie in how are ya. I met you a few years ago. Great to see you have a what's the camp, allow him to pilot. What is it okay? Where is it? Is it in it's in the snow, though, so
no, so she means she did this thing today where you know she is. She has tactile issues so like shoes and socks and underwear stay driver, fucking nuts and we will have big knock down, drag out fights with her about it. But
they should put on issues that she doesn't like, but she was so excited ass. You know, mom, I'm gonna have to learn to do this by myself, because
one can die these complicated shoes of there for me, I've ever there
It was just like. Oh my god, and then I said I was told time when, when we saw the when we saw the bus sick, that's the bus she was like freaking out. I was like oh my god, cool yeah. It really was alright. Alright, alright great to see again
I do new spots this week. Now, I'm going to I'm going to be at the punch line in san francisco this week, early wednesday through saturday shut the fuck up. That's one of my favorite clubs on the planet. Earth yeah that's living in
Let's go for seven years in the nineties is where I really got really great went from just so.
and rode. Guy too,
being more worldly minded. Yes, oh the punch
is that's what am I a spiritual homes? I love that place under I'm doing a run santa Barbara.
San Francisco sacramento. In a in few months, just like theaters are no; no, no! No! No! No! I think santa Barbara is a small theatre. I mean like buy three hundred seats, not not huge, and that I'm sure
punchline and saint san Francisco friday and saturday. Maybe you and then punchline sent sacramento programme, always what do the punchline sacramento? That's where another great room, I've I used to do a club called laughs. Unlimited sacrament
which was really where I learn how to do stand up, meaning like learn how to do it. Our learn: how to do twenty
learn how to do an hour. I should do that four times a year and now and then the green room in saint san francisco, which I think is the old,
punchline, do members agree? Oh no! No! No! No! That was like the old cobb's there's an old car yeah. That's it that old cobb's was great
that was amazing. When I lived there there was, you know there was that the improv was in theatre district cobb's. Was it
humans, wharf yeah. That's it we're on this line
downtown in the embarcadero
was relieved, and then it was a great
period in comedy, then, because you know tat knows what live there. Blink a patch gregg proofs Margaret show
in a gould cause a lot of Emily comedian
marin here would have greatly to complex. There was a really great period in comedy that really
was
we're gonna get away. Now, as this is the it's the renaissance, it's the goal
the age of comedy right now, in LOS angeles, really is on in that go into the store, just pump. An interview,
then too, there you're like what the fuck
I don't wanna, know you're, saying about try a new stuff because, like I had a couple of new bits that
wanted to do on saturday, but I just I got greedy and just wanted to destroy it.
As you know, you're goin, on after all these years,
You ran away and daniel tyres in old, Marie Louise UK, when he's in town they chapelle
when he's in town
just so many brilliant comedians air. So
I know what you're saying that urge to do. I want to
I this new bit or just destroy freedom.
Ten minutes for your slice of pi, it's like an
I go, you know this is where someone's
I see you they are going to see you. You know someone's like oh shit, we're making a movie you'd, be perfect for this or yeah, not that I'd that that's my career track. Trajectory
we believe it is kind of a you know, a bits
I've I've had bad sets there in the o r, because I'm trying stuff and then I want to say to you-
and so you guys know, I'm really funny like that. I can really do great stuff, but I can't because I'm not going to push myself to grow, why it's funny
When I was nineteen, I had been own comedy for two years and I won this contest. The funniest
person in central florida and italy degree
If the prize was, I got a plane ticket to fly, to los angeles when I got to do a set at the comedy store, and it was at the in the o r and I remember, being nineteen
in and so terrified to go on stage here and they'll. Be some
times when I'm on stated the comedy store now and I'm in the pocket and everything's work in and I'm killin and I think to myself man. This feels like
your favorite pair of old leave eyes. You know,
which is so comfortable and feels so good and then I'll have the it'll flashing in my head for a second all, my god. Once upon a time I was nineteen years old standing here, scared shitless.
Yeah and now it's all these years later and it feels like home. That's I have those moments
am I thing is a little more little more immediate, because you know is one of my goals was to get past,
so the comedy store I was. I was not for like that.
Was. It was big problem that tommy I didn't like me to Cynthia. I belong to
many and you like you, ve, been allowed to say stuff like that. Well, and you can see that
if I wanted to to worked at in a fuckin parking lot, I had a tv show.
you are. I us, like. I know, I'm not working the I'm not take
part time job just so I can get ago. I just will never work there. Then. I got past recently when Adam came over and took our visit,
Without that, I never knew that tommy guy came after failure. I came in the autumn period
and so I got pass by Adam and I was, and it was a it was a fuckin. There was a big
can deal for me. So now now my
real surreal moment in all, honesty is like not as much performing there is one.
go there to perform and everyone's nice to me, like, I don't feel like, I don't belong and you just walk through the kitchen. You go back to that back bar and everyone's like a burden. You know I got that that is the comfortable pair of jeans for me when you cause that feeling of being
comfortable at a comedy club as opposed to this so many times that you don't. You aren't as a young kid when you're young and nobody knows you yeah and you're you're, you're you're, trying to be pretty and be noticed and you're sitting at a table in the back and they're like hey man, you can't sit here
sorry, I'm so sorry I'll just go to the bar, I'm used to I'm a comic and you work this room you're like I have not you know like I had that feeling. Like the first time I went to do a set one of the times I went to do a set in in the store I went
do the I was going in the back and the guy goes. You gotta go around the front and I said: oh I'm just doing something in the belly room because I I said you're going to around the front. I was like okay, so I went around.
Well, I like your iD, and I was like I will have it on me. I was like hold on I'm on the show and they're like oh, what's your name, and I was like oh fuck and I just and they're just doing their job
being dicks, but I'm just melting down in my head and I'm like this is not a you. Wanna go perform
and now, when I go, I show up in there like hebert makes me feel like I've makes me feel like a notes interesting. I stopped working for travel channel right around the same time that I started working at this.
Were probably a little yeah, I'm guessing and- and I said,
myself, when I was on travel general as like, I would give
all away right now, just to be a regular store. You paid regular was so important to me. She'll comedies, my real thing, that's the real thing!
I'm good at anyone can host a tv show. I'm never can be better than
guy ziyadi is deputies, says little things in sizzled compelled by ties, components manners like that's like
I've done it better than sex with you, ve, no, whenever he says I'll, never good. At that
Gotta be myself. The man at the store was like a big fuckin deal to me.
in it, but it it's funny not is just being accepted. Let's going through there
Apparently the majority of my entire lives about validation. I validate you bert! You do you do if I noticed the fact that you ve
Adam meaningful experiences at new smyrna beach villa makes you a quality human. In my book you know for a fact: there is a handful of people that I that, as a younger comic, not much but younger than it was like. You stand, hope, rogen, guys that I looked up to immensely and my friendships with its exclusive spots. But specifically the three guys I just mentioned used an open. Rogan are probably my some of my most meaning
the friendships, because it means a great deal to like be around you and not be nervous. You know and be able to be myself cause. I wasn't always that guy. I wasn't
that, guy with you, stand open rogan, like I'm, remember the first time.
of you remember the first time I met you at amsterdam and no enough yeah, yeah
Well, you told me in new york at the bag it in right, and you asked you said you. You asked me for advice and I said if you buy me a drink I'll, tell you everything. I know, and I said,
wait. I pulled out my dad's credit card activity, patrick of the bag. It in I was like whatever you want, yeah and but that whole night I was so fucking entered a great story. Yeah that isn't the first time I met rogan I was like I was like who opened his door and he was like in this picture. You pollinate your debts, critic at the small part of that story.
that I'll everyone and you telling your dad. It was worth it. My dad said was: this: is for emergencies, don't use this this for a merger,
these, and I was, I was making twenty five bucks a night work in the door and I'd
I hadn't gotten paid yet I think, and you cause you get we lose. We give us money at like two in the morning and I remember walking right up and I was like hey tom, I'm bored, I'm a florida comic too, and I'm just
huge fan and it would mean a great deal if I gotta sit, and let me pick your brain about college,
I remember you just let me reply
finally, a beer by me, drink I'll. Tell you everything you need to know, and I was like ok and I heard
Adam okay, this is an emergency. I need that credit card, but yeah that and that, and you know who else I ended up drinking with down. There was a to remember the band driving and cryan one of my favorite bands. I owe Kevin Kevin for driving
ryan and winter part florida once really that's how I discovered them
and it was on the whisper tames, the lion tour, which was one of my favorite albums. I I bought that album at the show where some band was supposed to open up for them and couldn't make it- and I forget the name it was it was on park avenue in winter park. I didn't think the place was called two flights up or something I forget. It was like a rollins college bar beer, and so I opened up for them and they blew me away. Powerhouse, the song powerhouse ya power fuck at house,
I never knew the lord until I found the power cord there's so many great songs on that album, yeah, yeah
I know driving a crime very well so retains the lion. So I was obsessed with dr grant in college and obsessed with.
lead singer cabin get any kenny
dessert, although album Macdougall, you will lose so you can.
Imagine you can imagine the all
in my face when I meet calving kenny,
I said, and I said he's at the bar. I hear him singing he's playing up on stage doing something solo and I go. I know that fuckin voice ago homeowners, Kevin kinney, so he comes over the bar sits down. I want to say it.
brett, but I remember I remember I just remember distinctly. There was is almost certainly smoking and I went up and said my name's burt, I'm a huge driving crime fan, I said like, and then I sure I said something like I even
your solo album and he was any just turn that voice and he goes back to the street blues right back two blocks back that way and I went that's macdougal street element
I got a little macdougall and didn't even realize Allah is on Mcdougall yeah. I go. I didn't even fucking realize because yeah but dual sri blues dude, he was fucking. He and I told him I said I just would love to buy you drinks but sit down. Buy me drinks. Saddam was just shoot the shit. What brings you up here? I said I'm a comedian, I worked the door upstairs the guy I love comedy fuckin,
boris fun, who are best times its awesome on whisper teams, align, there's a song good day. Every day soon the clouds will free the rain. I got a fuckin
I'm going to go home and listen to that album. I'm going to probably have just said. I'm going to I'm gonna buy that I'm gonna buy, driving and crying right now with Amy laundry blues. All right so we're at two ten
I think that a solid podcast god- that's my can I great can I mentioned- are meant to be a temp aside, sputters march, twenty third to the twenty six in atlanta
having skull April six to the ninth perfect and this weekend, amid the punchline in san francisco, go find him everywhere.
eighth will ever while I'm in seattle go see Tom in san francisco give him.
Tell the machine censure.
and a levy barton thanks for her. I do I dont party, I don't smoke pot smoke cigarettes anymore.
occasionally I'll have a quality cigar and these Evan this conversation with you in
puff and on a nice cigar was was a was a wonderful to our in fifteen minutes experience.
Enjoyable man. It was a lot of fun. I love catching up with the item. You really are one of those people that I like that
that I absolutely beyond risk.
and love. So I proceed with its banks, man. I love and respect you as well as the fact that he went apart.
I hope you enjoy that podcast. This is the after podcast, where we talk black sale. Slacks house bonus black sales. Bonus with me is my wife Kelly
kelly, ribs kelly, we're leaving.
I'm crazy, Sir Leon. I have questions. Ok, ok! So too,
it's me through what we saw tonight: real, quick first off what the fuck was up with billy bones and flint having a gunfight right before they fight the british. They can fight the british. They retreated no okay, but to billy retreat very reluctantly, as he please just fighting for power. Alright, let's start at the beginning: okay, okay, what happened at the beginning?
I don't remember: we are horrible at this. I know this is bad. This is what do you mean at the beginning? You know I. Can I tell you what I think we should do for game of thrones and we should probably try it next time. What is have people watch? It live with us
and talk about it the whole time or watching it. I can't do that because that's what I'd do with you? No, no! No! No! No, because I have to really focus and pay attention claiming what happened at the beginning.
getting his drawing a long, John silver out, o whither. I thought you were told that one billion flat- nothing happened involving them, what we? U hops,
excited my in and you didn't tell me, you were happened, subjects of soldiers from trying to do a scan, schematically schematically like
gimme the remote control. I got an idea, big brain okay, give you the remote control, yeah we're not going to replay it. No I'm not replaying it, and first of all
if I want to play it? No we're not going to play it in the beginning. We see a pirate dragging long John silver down the beach. We don't over. This point.
Is running that goes gettin killed by the way. What were the lord would remain, as this post part spoil
a third of black sales. Have you not seem black sales?
Listen to that. That would be every bit by bit
This worked a lot better. When I'm hammered you do why. I think it looks. I think that you really get to see our relationship.
Oh you don't say we have a good relationship when you're holding amateur todd guess about cuba, you see we could do that. That would. If that was your project.
you're, just like oh, my god. These lock and locked
These many swearin round stored sets a really move and goodness later priority one dollars harmony. Nobody wants to hear that's where we were talking about. Ok, ok, I'm comin up come on, come on
What you do I go to barksdale, so I can fast forward and go. Oh yeah! That's right! I was confused about this. I don't know if this is the best format
for this it doesnt matter. There is no format and went away.
about format. Look what I'll just do is put it on fast forward. We can talk about it: okay, okay, thank god! I'm not watching that movie about tv show about child abduction. The missing
so the EU drags on John silver and then the losers
over kind of scruples and says I've heard stories about you right, yeah he's a cat.
Here from treasure island? Are you freaked out? Who is that character? I've heard of me his hand. If I'm not mistaken, he is the in treasure island. He is the pirate that is staying in the in where the little boy is he's, the pirate that gets the black dot, the black spot, another box, the book and read the book: what's the black spot, the black spot in the book of a pirate puts up a black a piece of paper. That's a round black spot
That means you're marked for death die. Would you do that? Why would you do? What would you put a black spot, your hand and go you don't put a pirate? Gives it to you? Why don't you let him go? No thanks.
It's with a heavy handshake. I have a feeling you have a black spot, your hand. I know we're not being so. I don't know. Maybe pirates are stupid, but he was I I'm not mistaken. He was
I read in the beginning going to the note we ve gone from everybody in this house,
We really love you and the am talking about this, but can you please do is show we watch too bad, because
I know this is the only show we watch together max whose turn it into a bitch you're not watch him bloodline. So I can't
I saw by the waiting amazing, show or maybe wish the abbot that will be. It will be tough cause it's on cause, he doesn't think flakes yeah and it's not it's not date friendly they're trying to circumnavigate the business
so, whatever we do know you mean but no max's basis.
Play well with max's the the brothel owner, the black too, and she bade they basically find out that she
her informants were standing messages to the pirates to and from nassau, so that the pirates knew what strategies the governor had planned
This battle, I will say since Eleanor leghorn looks like one eleanor.
He was on saturday. Night live Eleanor Rigby, yes, is that her name? Yes, she lived in the church what nothing Eleanor Rigby written her last name that rigby. What's her name eleanor,
Eleanor got three regions, she stopped eating, pussy scott, massively less than
there's no sex. These first two absolutely shocking shits time burner naked, nothing what the fuck is going on and by storm. I am referring to the sheriff jason Steinberg, who was on the PA guessed the creator creator, so no newly, which kind of such I will tell you embody, is hot. As fucking shit she's, beautiful yeah like if I had an opportunity to have sex with their, would you green light that now one because that's just not gonna happen, ok hold on so we can flip flow
but when you get to take at night with jack reaper, not jack reaper measure, you should be hammer to jack, not jack, richer jack rack on rackets, jack rocco.
You gotta know jack rack up now, but he likes you he's not my kind. No but ok,
ok belong
on silver he's out, like John silver, that is by type we discuss. Much right is right. If you get a little billy bones,
I gotta night, with Albani and by the way by the
and they tell you secrets about. What's going to happen, the problem is, I could forget about your night: were they embody? You would never be able to forget about my night would button, but billy bands, nobody
Trust me, you would never. You would always say I'm never going to look as good as believable. I would never say that over going to look as good one, thirty four inch waist and is still not good enough. I would
I would now I'd be like a black man. I steroids rabbit
his body one day you would never
be able to forgive alcohol because your mind is shut up, never be able to forgive and body, because you'd be like how we kind of look alike now. I think I could forgive it
that's one night off for me. Thank you. Embody. Oh,
you're lucky, you realize he realized. My stock is climbing right now
oh yeah, you got me as a penny stock, but I'm like blue chip material right now
so who's losing way who's the dump on then no one. My investment is growing. You got me at the height of mines. Loki fuck, it invested in nokia.
Nokia, crosbie creams, everyone at against their story by an iphones. So who'd you let me
sex with on this guest. Nobody, no do that's just not the way we work, baby doll, fuck. Okay, if, if I did come home and say I rented ambani, she was hammered and she kiss me, would you be mad? No okay, alright cool you're that anthony that girl's, pretty cool
on twitter area, but she would drive me up the fuck, a wall. Why she's like artist hipster london, like a like way, cooler than you not cooler than me just
I know she is yet so she like does a bunch alike artist, duties, cools fuck is fucking jack.
welcome right cause he's a real legit artist. Who draws loves to do art? Does he tastes great shut up? Does he chase? Does he have a light box and some tissue paper? Does he trace pictures of horses yeah?
very, very pirate, very pirate, behavior change, but all afraid
anymore I made recently by allowing just like in the summer at those we raised over because I was having anxiety in their hopes called me down. Ok, ok!
you're, a pirate. What do you think your pirate name would be? It will be of bee bert squirts.
secure yeah! I I'd in charge of the building of the entire time legs out no b b. I think you'd be the cook.
No, I think you would be the cook, though I would be I'll, be the first guy to get. I would I dunno I'd, probably be like cabin boy type, then cabin boy
that sounds oil, the guy, a guy that were made and secured wine for everybody and mean that that guy, I daresay per of the maid
I'd, be the one that other billionaires crack and jobs, the entire time we're on the boat, and I was like they make em,
The blanket walked. A plague is another far higher,
guys right. I'm all right, see you be. The gesture we were going to take me that'd, be the gesture pirate. I'm trying to think of pirate jokes right now. The only thing is that our blow me down yeah me timber.
Bruce. I did a pirates on one of my solo podcast, your if you know what that pirates on is, then you are
why body of already explored this by the way
if you are a real fan, like a real
true bert, cast
and then you know the pirate song. You don't know the power as long as you don't listen to my fucking podcasts, even when you're on it all right time. So
So no one likes this preacher. Guy preach peach teach tee.
But he was a black beard. Regular view is black beard a black beard
so those you dont know Charles Jane is gone. Charles, vain, Charles vain is gone charles,
is was part of the reason
the sharks who such a fucking bad out anyway? He was banging eleanor. He was deeply in love
down or eleanor fuck em, over probably three times at least and an vain was the power
energy of teach- and he also was- was the he be mandatory to chart to Jack rack up in an bonnie right
He got hung at the very beginning end. The episode
Last season. The very last one day earlier said that last year, a man that fucking socks all its corruption
Slaves? It does because he he was awesome. He was also awesome.
out of this lot of this plot has to do with them, trying to revenge him from avenge and revenge. Avenge him well. The thing about him is, he was the purest pirate. He was the purest one like flint
darted piracy fluently through the back door by the funds. Just J he's just gay.
He's a gig. I run from his gait demons. I said all that bad
The only reason he is a pirate, but he, but he was a pirate. He started his piracy tirade with noble intentions and then he became really more of a pirate, but he started out trying actually to like
take over from black beard and and now he's just but but ultimately
running from his gave demons. That's his hope plot. So, like all these things are basically the thing that palm billy bones has with them. Is that he's I didn't know.
Gay. Since I give her hang with the gay guy and you don't always gay you're like a weirdo, the club is like dude. I thought we just me and you would just sit shirtless and play xbox tonight and you're like. I don't want to do that
Why do you always want to do stuff? I don't want to do and he's like. I thought, we'd go horseback riding today and you're like just me, and you
we're going to write checks and he's like I mean we are going to buy checks to buy jerks. Does that make sense now now that doesn't make sense, but I am curious to know why.
didn't have any kind of other relationships for flint, just one dude, he fell over one.
I mean he was really, I guess, and a lot of ways in love with. What's your name that that guy killed, I think you just those his beard nobody'll. I think you love
he loved her in the way that, like maybe he's by the or maybe he's bi, that's what this as a pirate or something there's no vegan shims back. Then I think that's the new terminology
though, do pronouns that everyone must be called a sham? Why sure? I should-
sure sure, but why
that not hat is a piece of wood. You put to level some money
I don't know, I don't study other shit, I'm just telling you that no one wants to be called emperor or they want to be called nothing,
oh oh shit, yeah like she him. What about a sure? That's what I just said
The fuck we're one man,
anyway, you may bisexual people wanted to be called shimmer. They do. Oh, no, oh, not transgender people, note no everyone's, bisexual, no, bisexual
if, apparently, you are and you're denying it that's what the big thing on the street is everyone's bisexual. I don't think I am. I don't think I am either, however,
if you say you are it, it's a hate crime man I gotta have world hated me as I am not by such
well. I live with a racist and I'm very cool with not a racist hater, a no, not a hater, the hatred. Oh, I thought you said I hate or you're a hater. If you say you're not
no you're racist. If you say that that denies that a race to be your big,
where european area bigot this was called. That's the stupidest.
I think I've ever heard in my life as well. I I I agree, one hundred percent, silently because you can't do it out loud anymore. I can't you do it out loud. Will you do it allowed the end of a podcast? Don't listen to it out loud to anybody who wants to talk about it? Okay, if I, if let's wrap this up
We will get the asia you after us. The eighth
hell you hunt, even though that is not a labour you user is easier to know these ill used for free speech is, would not what do you think it up? You dig it of you. Dig it up the free basins, EU aid
will you think so, let's just get to the end of this episode. What happens at the additives are preserved?
By the way. This is what our date sound, like is just fucking me eyre, correct, immediate our time anyway. So here's max this is that this work has good max.
gets really upset because their hanging, all the pirates and all the pirates to making a big spectacle of it. As too, like dissuade anyone from ever being a pirate max, like does not what this is about.
He's just ask you to me ass, but don't do it published these and that's gonna.
Is everyone into being a pirate, rather like an idiot uneasy. These british people, by the way, all I could think, is how uncomfortable I'd be in this clothing,
fucking, the bahamas, o me about a man like whalebone corset. Forget it
Jesus and like all this, like others wool,
And sand and salt water, no one ever dries off, no one! Ever like you know what
a very bad.
I can see you, but I think I've seen one bath in all three episodes. I mean a season. I've seen a couple of bass that back in the beginning there Steinberg anyway, so so then they go below
Let them go in and they got a revolt in this village.
and free the slaves they're they're they're, going to take over a plantation and free the slaves and then they find out
all the plantation owners are nassau had gotten together and despite decided to separate their slave families, so that put out a mom and kids in one plantation in the dad in another plantation, so that is theirs ever like a hostile takeover like they're doing right now, they'll just slaughter, all the other slaves family said the sledge can not be a slave uprising. So then, the plan that billy boy
had which was against plants plan billy bones plan to go in and get the sledge the plantations and take up her nasa. But now they can't do that because of the plantation owners plans with separating all the slave families and then so that plans done so flat like we have to retreat
We have no other choice but to retreat and billy, because, as because feelin plans like throws be cool,
We can really tactical being tat, whatever he's being smart
is the place. I was a part of the shedding when they said, then he says to Billy bones: does what we're doing and billy bones says, grab him and then all flynn's men pull their guns up. Billy, bones men's bulls, their guns up and down says fire you're supposed to play. Spoiler alert, spoiler alert, not after you say it. Ok, that was a spoiler alerts are good,
so then they start fighting each other and malicious coming so that they have
Only one show we're having a surprise party for you tonight. Spoiler alert, no, no, no go ahead. So then, anyway, they end up retreating anyway, which was stupid of billy bones. So now they've been shot at each other and they still have to retreat yup so stupid. I would panic so much in and in a sword. Fight sward sward is the taper onto sword
I think so anyway, so then we cut back out to teach who I'm starting to like teach. I didn't like him at the beginning, but sorta like him, because I like to think rakim likes him.
They want to kill. They want to kill eleanor. They want an bonnie, the ogre eleanor and embodies like fuck that are used to
wanna kill her ease to want to kill max nothing on pass that past spoiler alert and bodies to fuck both of them right now. She in fact Elinor she
fucked, max everyone fox max. That's why she fought mass is actually
nor on the island, but max they were not a requirement. No, no that are bent over stoop no object. Yeah.
And so she talked to jack. Who is the ok? I gotta be ass. The jack raccoon is might be the best on the show, he's really great. He might be like
I think you guys are all great, and we now, I feel about you but jack rack com is a home run
hitter yet have I seen lily flint dissolving walking good when he goes to teach and basically talks about going out going after maxim,
and and Eleanor he just so fuckin good yeah he's so good and, if so prone, not
I like him because of his facial hair, because it's so odd, really yeah. It just freaks me out because of that,
weird sideburns chinese teeny tiny thing under his lip, so them real, quick, wrap. This up. It's got its common is coming to an end.
eleanor's new slam, piece, which I don't like the governor. I don't like governor. Why,
it is rather the wrong way. Jolly rogers, as I was name is his name, is, is rogers.
Does he turned into a pirate? I think he turns into jolly rogers who is jolly roger shoes, a pirate.
jolly rogers hell, we wrapped wrap supper. One season, I dont know I've been thinking about that tonight watching this episode. There are so
many questions. I have unanswered from treasure island like how? How do we how this plant die? How does bill who
There were two pirates left on the island. I dont remember who they were introduced, island and need read the book again
and who? How does that guy get the black spot? How does what who gives billy bones? I'm pretty sure it gives them the black spot. Why would billy Bowles give it to him billy bones
However, even the meadow need to know, but he
wrap this up and one for urgencies that he will at some point. But I know that jolly though
long john silver and hand have a falling out at some points of their coming together. Now their vision
I wonder, then: I will not even there yet the hand based
he says the long John silver not thy hand ass game at rounds,
his name is, like the strand isaac hand or something. Mr hand, yes from vast sums, ridge, one eye less rights, says basically, if I kill this dude
and then put a node autumn saying you killed him from you to to launch out
over, that. I can get more money for you and johnny long. John silver does a great by the way back eyes,
great to look all right. I feel bad that I don't know who hey SIRI.
Who plays jack, recommend black sales by just fucked up everyone listening to this cause,
This is one way to do so on that.
I so good, but man luke, arnold great lucre, analyzes great moment, were basically realises you're. The guy is and tells them I am
of you were more like you, then you know I am the pirate king. I can fuckin find someone to give
more money he reaches out to max gets no to max
ex comes out the mill the night, and I see no fuck max, I'm I'll she's gonna get it
Oh she's gonna get us getting her come up and he is,
no, she is she's an open mic or who got to a special and blew the fuck up and didn't have any talent to back it. Maybe I dunno, I think she just is yeah, hurt her bills coming due for sure yup yup, so
between asia and the best thing to do on a park. Maybe not so here's here's what we know from this episode right. Okay, we know that the governor has fled the governor's flight.
Had we told you that, right now, larger jolly
roger- has- has fled in hopes that teach will pursue so that elinor can get to philadelphia to try and get money from her grandparents to find jolly rogers still activities he's doing on nassau. Well
I know that entirely you did what they were talking about. I was wondering about philadelphia, yeah, like how the fuck is anyone getting to philadelphia. Why and why? Are you going to Philly? You gotta, take a boat to jersey,
and then take get a yellow or their trains. Yes, you taken person but far couch for some but yeah. So
she said to him. So we learned last episode that jolly roger, but we're call him jolly rugby
not jolly roger in this episode, though the governor, the governor divorces, why
I have to marry eleanor and because he divorced her her family, who is where all his money came from, has now seized all his assets. So he has no money to fund the activity. That's going on in nassau because
osborne is cut off. So Eleanor said this episode, she said what you don't know about me.
that my grandfather is astronomically wealthy now ma
Dad got up fucked it up because he gave us a bad name
down here in the west indies. So, but you know I can go back and and ask him for his help because he wants legitimacy,
in england and you jolly roger the governor could give him legitimacy. Southern naked devises plan with a gun
an hour, go on a boat and hopes that teach would pursue him so that elder
Alan Donnelly, so that's what I want
Rackham said: what do we do? Do we end this war?
by killing the governor or do
avenge vain by killing Elinor
they were taught. I know what vain would do, what what what he's already told us what he would do reindeer
yeah because of who vain is, is fucking all about nassau, all about owning nassau, so he would have gone after the governor. So that's. Why teach decided to go after the governor, so they're going to pursue the governor christie and we'll see, I don't think they're going to kill the governor, because I really think he's jolly roger
rogers I do do you. Can you, through the dog snoring on the map.
Is she dead, she's talking all right? So I think something is wrong with this. This video it had five thousand dollars
as of now like an hour going down his thirty four thousand downloads nice. I think it's on red it on the front page awesome
we everything, oh and then so what we ve learned. We ve learned that
slaves are not going to be able to help the pirates overtake nassau, they retreated and they have to come up with a different plan. We ve learned. We ve now been reduced to the hand, did the pirate hand and jolly rogers pretty much not deliver.
long, John silver, pretty much said to the brothel owner max you're gonna, help me and I'll. Forgive you,
you of everything you owe me and she's
I know, and he is gonna fuck her over big time,
I wasn't listening civilian.
oh yeah. I know you said the governor has fled
teachers in pursuit Elinor. Next episode probably is going to go on her way to Philly to try and get money. That's the place
and but I don't think I don't know if she's going to be able to because the guy the governor left in charge, I think, is about to put some kind of smackdown on everybody on the island. Oh yeah, he put that guy. That looks like john dimaggio does he does so? I yeah, I think I think, there's about
to be a shift at nasa, which I think is actually
to make nassau more vulnerable and as part of the one of the ways the pirates are going to be able to get in there. Is that guys all puffed up like a rooster- and I think that's gonna- be tis downfall produced it show. So that is,
our wrap up for is there anything else to it. Even though I'm sorry, it was a little rambling. This time knows great that he was fine. I looked the point. Is I the reason I put this at the end
as I know that there are people they dont totally enjoy. This is much, but I just don't have to listen to it and if they
really bored. Then they get little extra. You know! Maybe it's funny. I think it's
maybe it turns you onto the show? I mean it stinks that it's the last season, so it this, but maybe it's a show that you want to get into and and follow, but but it's at the end of the podcast and it's thirty minutes. I gave them
to a two hour, thirty minute podcast that was fantastic with Tom roads, which is what they came here for
and then we give them a little extra. Listen. We probably won't have one of these not next week cause we're in london and we can't watch the show yeah cause we'll be in london on my house. Is getting house sat, so don't think that I'm giving you my
we have to eat salad to over one hundred and forty pound as she one hundred forty right now
Forty palpable massive. That's got an issue
with anyone that doesn't look like me. He is she is if someone is done.
Here now there was a failure, the whole time so anyway, just letting you know that
I did I'm leaving anyway and that in disguise,
How weird somebody showed up and put something in our driveway? Let's not remember them out there. Now
ok, just as freaky it is Ricky. It's not supercool guys, like precede the the everyday use
do you love yo, yo, appreciate love, but that it really upset my children so to cap or channels.
Keep a look. I don't want to sell this fucking house. Let's just keep our distance
with I'll, find you on the road or come to where you are
That's it that's an exact thirty minutes of wrap up perfect our
I'm glad you guys Joe, the podcast we'll have a double when next time cause we'll have to rush to upset
we have a double one any order. My customers, he was come over his house come over to our house.
and was one of the ones leave not sweet.
Find out why he wants to, but what the wrap up his I'm so sad, I know
to a fine. I want to find out what is worth one next sitting cast me in it. So sad so does that everybody,
the guy's a large majority, that this episode was brought to you by the machine.
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Transcript generated on 2023-07-18.