With you a cellular, it's just twenty nine. Ninety nine per line for one two or three lines. So you don't need that robot daughter, you built to get a fourth line for family glamorizing, rope, Elizabeth she's. Can I like that the road isolated prevail boy get the low rate of twenty nine. Ninety nine per lie. We were cellular built for us terms, applied. Does it? U s cellular dot com, pretty deals. We value human connection with fever. Distractions cellular built for us visit your? U s! Cellular authorized agent located in eighteen. Fifty two decorator pike in athens, Hey guys brand new podcast uneven love this one, so just a preface previous preface and I'm sure that you don't need this. This was

in time is now right now, tuesday, and yesterday Tom and I flew up some cisco to collect on our about with our the jerome. paid for an early whilst on and this is us car ride to the airport and a car? I back the airport. If you don't know who Tom sawyer is, I maybe you should stop listening right now. Because then you probably also don't know who I am- and you are listen to this- because you're in some sort of christian internment camp, I dunno, I'm fucking drunk, not drunk from actually I'm not drunk at all right now, but I was definitely buzz this morning and I got dave, Anthony and Gareth reynolds coming over tonight to do a podcast. I'm super excited about that. I've talked about their podcast in my interest before the dollop, but if you haven't listened to it check it out, listen to the rwb, it is a really good.

one. What else was the other pocket? So let's do it was really good. I've been binge listening to Hannibal, vs podcast a lot. I really it calms me down. Listen to, but at night it's a great podcast. I like it. Say the so hopefully Hannibal hears us. I love it when fuckin AL jackson's, podcast I'll jackson, my view one of the most fucking humorous people, I hope to god. People look at me in life ngo, alan bird or similar. because I just really fuckin enjoy them. I did Tom Papas park asked that this afternoon we landed tom, an idea we finished his pocket. So what rights top ourselves- and I just recorded it with him and Paul mercy- and it was such a great falcon podcast, seamless conversation that was, I was fantastic. This right now, I'm assuming the wilbur is sold out. So thank you so much for everyone about targets elsie,

Boston, we're trying to arrange opposed party after the show, although, we'll be late, it should be like fucking, midnight and and buffalo after that. Buffalo and let's see if I have any dates that I can rattle off to buffalo Lexington Kentucky, His comedy off. Broadway parlor live in Bellevue. Oh I'm going to london, I'm going to be in london, the twelfth of february until the twentieth of february, I'm actually thinking about real talk, real talk. I talked to Tom about this. I'm thinking about going to fucking switzerland and going skiing cause. I'm gonna be over there anyway in Switzerland. So amazing, the only problem is it's. The skiing is above the tree line, so there's no trees to protect you

his grab onto a tree. So it's like cliffs after that. So maybe I won't. Maybe I won't, but I'm thinking about doing shows in london. I should have an email about that in my inbox, but Tom rhodes was the guy's Tom Rhodes going to be on my podcast. I guess Joe Ross is going to be on my podcast. Oh look at this, my wife, just graham elwood. Oh I'm gonna be on grandma woods, I'm going to be on conan on the twenty. Fourth anyway If I'm a douche, I think I'm going to do I'm going to do a show in london and definitely do podcast this guy Al Murray. I think I'm going to do stuart, goldsmith's podcast, I think unrepentant I think province in atlanta to bunch up glenn wool. I hope I did, but none of these have been fucking set in stone. So if there's someone that you want

you're on my podcast when I'm in london, I'm thinking about maybe doing a live podcast, maybe like at a small venue so that we could all get together and drink and hang out and out Glenn won't be a great live, podcast guest. You know what I bet in order to begin. I could do. I could do a live podcast with glenmont Andre Vincent. You like how I'm thinking this out right now to putting sought my backyard. I've never been happier in my fucking life. So that's my catch up, everybody! That's where I'm at. my head's at at a four minute ketchup, I'm going to pour myself a cocktail. I'm gonna light a cigar, I'm hanging out with the girls tonight doing a podcast with dave and Gareth and ordering pizza, and I think, I'm going to eat pizza. I did DR drew podcast too. It was a great podcast, I'm all over the map anyway, you're going to really love this podcast. I promise you that, and by the way are the second part we talk

It's something that is now literally in the works against a lot of people's better judgment. It includes Daniel tosh. It includes tom, segura and and includes me, I think, that's all people that have committed to It- and now I know Tom papas in so anyway enjoy the podcast. That's it.

today's guest Tom Segura, the art, recording grabbed that other mike should be? Oh well. Maybe it's over here yeah they're talking about yeah one, two, three really is what I got weed for us by the way you do yeah you bringing it with you yeah, you crazy. What do you mean? Isn't that illegal? It's recreational in the state, recreational and blaine, and we talking about California. What is that is that what the law is going to be. It is no, but it's a but it's not, and yet is it yeah it's recreation as soon as I voted it in it's recreational for everyone.

Really yeah. I don't have like loose we'd. Just have like you know, products for us products. You know like a vape pen and oh okay or vape pens are fine, though they can't even tell dude. I travel with somebody lets, hypothetically speaking, what's up there, so we're kim kardashian is no that's that, whether one I liked this area

It is really fucking crazy to go to your house and know you when you lived in koreatown yeah. That's for you guys, though I dunno when you guys talked about this, I'm sure I dunno when. But there was a time you guys were talking about not setting up your chargers. You like or charge, had to be across the room and then one day you're like wait. We don't have to live like poor people anymore. We know you could buy an extension kit. You could buy an extension cord and I was like, oh my god, I'm still doing that, like I don't have a charger by my bed, but that's not so much poverty as like. Just you get so lazy with your thinking, like we were just like, we were just like. That's where the plug is so that's where you plug in and like you know, you can buy an extension cord yeah, but your brain just, I think, just rest back and goes no just just walk over there and plug it in every time, just to dump

I don't have a charger by my bed, I dunno. If I have alarmed you, will hear something fucking insane and I we just re did our bedroom. I have an alarm clock that doesn't work next to my bed. You leave and we we know we dude. We replug the then? It doesn't work and I just have never told land that doesn't work set up the plug charge iphones and she just plugged it. In again I was like mother fucker. I asked kristina what time it is like five times a day in bed and she's like well, you get a clock, cause the clocks on her side. It's like the same thing I can get o'clock, but I just go with the puts you guys looks like yoko and John five times a day that just cuddle up next door and get up in the mornings with her when when he wakes up yeah, yet, every day now I used to not used to sleep like an hour. More still do that and then now and now I get up- I get up every day now, six thirty! When we do the home when he returned with him- I still sleeping-

the whole yeah yeah. What time do they get up all the and gets up at five, forty five? What yeah I know for them? No, for the dogs, oh man, the dogs and the cat, wake of the cat wakes up. Four starts just going for the joke. I'm telling on stage right now is I thought about. I dunno about cats being like a duck adopted. Adopting a rescue is like adopting a foster teen, yeah and they're like oh you're. Gonna love me what if I piss all of you, then you're, like I still love you and like what. If I wake up before the morning of horror and I go here, I am having dreams that I'm in a bar, mitzvah someone's going. Are we going that Tampa I admit that was one of your dreams was one of my dreams. I could never work it into a joke yeah that the rest, when you have something you gotta, want to work, that into a joke, and then five years later you find the place for it is the greatest fuckin feel I've I've. I think I'm full blown

Can we stand a mood, yeah yeah yeah? Maybe you should be with your schedule. I saw it online eighteen weeks straight. What is wrong with you? Why would you do as money finally making money to just like tat? I do feel like this is going to sound so silly. But do you ever feel like there's a like there's a finite amount of time where people will be interested in you? Yes, like I co they're gonna get forward. especially used a thing like that, when you start selling tickets like I was instead and asked why the greatest compliment afterwards. If you meet someone, is they go like? I can't wait till you come back and you're like. Thank you. Can I tell you the greatest compliment ever? Is this weekend this guy in San diego goes next time you come back us I'm coming to see you and I go. Thank you

it goes you're not going to be at this club. I go like what's the other club because oh you'll be at the theater and I was like uh no, I won't. I was like I'll probably be back at this club, but like that's the that's the ultimate yet a very nice thing to say, but when they think they think you're blowing up in your like, I appreciate it, that the other thing is too to be something that is a nice thing of people for people who say is the whole idea that times. They don't realize how much more fun club can be than a theatre. You know even though I mean I realise what the compliment is like all your you know more people do you like do I I would always imagine. You'd enjoy theaters more than clubs. Yeah I'd enjoy it, but I mean, but but there's there's still in it like the fun part of that closeness. It's not like you, don't still enjoy that. Do you do you? Do you enjoy mean? Obviously you have to say you enjoy me great,

but do you like down what are being reads like a theatre today, pay like a premium jack o, really off bach I do, but I mean I do enjoy it and they all think that I'm not enjoying it. Everyone who comes up let's go to your face. Yeah they go cause. You always have this. Like they go. I know you're miserable right now, but I'm like dude I'm not and they're like I've got people asking the liquid feet No, I totally enjoy it. It's actually. What like the thing about greets angry twenty work. Are you enjoying this? You like it's a line of people being nice to meet you Anyone with any other scenario that is anyone's dream, get him and people on a line up and tell you how much I love you. That is, I've. Never look, that way. I like I'm, always look at it like. I just I look at it like:

I dunno, I feel like it's a part of the business, but, like I never realized, oh anyone in the world would would literally pay what we're making to have people line up and thank them and tell them like that was great. I love you. I love. Thank you and I can do this miserable for you that yeah yeah is really hard. I had I my thing is, I always think to myself, like oh people, looking college, if I it said. Bird people will be buying you shots yeah I'd be like I remember the football line, the lineman for the florida state football team. When that article came out grabbed me and they like pulled me over to the bar and they're like we're buying you shots all night and I was like This is a dream, come true yeah and now I think that's. The main majority of evenings is goin over Oh my god, we re not going to go back to the visual here I come for you. I think I am now let us

I don't have control this facial hair right now. My daughters and my wife do. What are they saying and doesn't want me to grow my beard back really? The answer was like. I want a clean shave from doing conan in a week. and so I don't wanna about the girls. Were they think they want a beer back there, that was a so funny that video island, I told you not to set with a mustache, were you look like a pervert Larry I go. How do you know to pervert libya? Is yours, I'm talking to one guy, that's funny shit yeah by the way. you feel like it is. Healthy kind of limited thinking. go back to being like some was not gonna like me like. We're not going to want to buy tickets. To see me when it is right, like you shouldn't, focus on that I've already thought about that a ton. I was like no one's going to come to see me because I don't have a beard. Are you talking about that No just how you're, like you ever think about how, like it's gonna, run out. Oh yeah,

all the time so mean very honestly. Obviously I was selling ok tickets and then that Facebook video came out and like and now everything selling out its awesome meant. Well, it's a facebook, video So it's like it had a week gestation and then, like all! That's why san diego sold out! That's why the wilbur sold out. That's what I mean it is why the wilbur sold out entirely and edible will see in buffalo in like a couple of weeks is like how. But people saw that video and I think the flow yeah I'm going to helium? Yes, it's a good club, also going in the winter, which is like fucking brutal, but it's going to be when people go go to out the most, but then you go like okay, so I might my theory. Thinking right now is Just keep doing enough shit that keeps you in front of people like, oh, ok, do Conan. Do I did it? It's three projects, do not you drew, do we'll go back when you can

rogue in people. Your podcast out, like I feel like it's just like spinning plates like you're right. I think the big, waste of time, is having on tv, show it's interesting. It's almost like its shifted everything right like dude. I mean, I believe, on line presences, what you? What can I tell you what I her bill birthday this I fuckin kind of thing, this might be my new strategy. He was saying that he was in. He went to like finland or something yeah and he brought copies of his dvd and just gave them out to everyone was iq like upload. They should online because europe has a different youtube, We have yeah like when you go to canada. You know how you can't see some shit yeah, so he's like he's like in canada. He couldn't find his arena. Even then he couldn't find his shit, so we just gave his dvd to people like upload this on your youtube and he was like then like what a natural market like people will be like Oh my god fellows american guys hilarious. Maybe one of the only ones- and I are minimised-

and that's why he's big, but I will definitely say that I have that fall. I'm going to london in a couple of weeks and I'm like I'm going to just get thumb drives, get them out of my special just give em to guys over there, because no one could see it in london during each other. I don't think so. Are you going for two a week I'm doing podcasts, but I feel like it would be. I I feel, like you know, I get deceived and, like I get like ten tweets and then I go, I think I could salvage a room out, but like I I don't know if that, like would translate into hard cigarette sales, you could deadly sell. Some tickets in london definitely sell some tickets, but like that, I was like I'll just do a meet and greet like I mean I'll just do like a meet up.

When I go to a bar one night, and if anyone wants to come, hang out and drink with me, they can do that and you're going to going to them. I was like, why would you fucking do that they want to see, do comedy. They don't want to drink with you. I dunno I dunno. They probably wanted to growth, but I think you should do show I mean really yeah, maybe are retired, Brett Vincent Vincent is great. If he's like the guy over there, he was Jim jefferies, a manager back when Jim Jeffrey started doing opie and anthony, I think wow yeah. Did you know that, like it the craziest thing now is any at least you ass comic. It has any poor that doesn't travel abroad. You should be everybody, it's a global market now and let it for you well as offer me. I wouldn't say that I too, that why, why not, really that flexes is slovo but you're right, you're right, it's definitely a big boost, but but you having this is global too. You know you have people listening to you.

If yeah definitely all over the world, but maybe like I know my numbers abroad. It's not it's not through the roof, but you meant. Did you notice a huge spike in your numbers? After doing rogan a huge biogas above I did a pot with leanne well yeah yeah and everyone lives into it. Yeah I was like okay, this isn't normal, oh really, oh yeah! No! I normally my podcast will and just get like one hundred thousand downloads at that anyway. Webb owes through the roof, and I was like whoa and then I did one big J, yeah yeah I'll show you my lips and if anyone hears any noise we're on the four o five, this is what is like. one of the reasons I left hollywood is that the fuckin streets and ali? What are horrible horrible? Like disastrous? Do you find that people drive our nice

in the valley, yeah- and you know, what's even better the north valley keep going north north over like yeah, like you, keep going like go to like Calabasas and out there it's beautiful out there, man now. I know why people move there. That's that's like the the move that hollywood people do. Hollywood people when they're young and new live in Hollywood yeah, then I'm a fucking idiot. Then they a little older. They move over the hill right when they're like mature, have a kid yeah and then, when they're like fifth- the little over there like they really want to spread out than they go north valley like west hills. Yes, I wonder what they think of oxnard the club. No, no, I mean the city I like I will. All I did was pulling them all, which is beautiful, beautiful, forget all filled. I love that drive, but raining every day for me view too about only the first day and I was like it was just clear: the drive home and I was all syndrome.

Fuck yes yeah. I liked that club going to, I told I told I forget the enrique. I told his manager right yeah, I told enrique. What he should do is to a sprinter shows where he just has a sprinter car go and pick up. Five comics drive us out. That's a good idea, feed us! Oh well, there's a fucking high speed chase, oh really, yeah it's! So you know that the fact that there becomes normal to us here is one of the craziest things, the people that don't live here, yeah. That is how often there's high speed chases, like I remember seeing what does it do that they report them on? The news, like are power, outages, there's a fucking police chase right now in the one thirty four guys going, one hundred and forty miles an hour everyone's like I! So did you

If you do that in most cities, everyone's, like, oh, my god, there's a police chase, would you have gotten? Would you have been one of those guys that pulled over to get in front of oj when he was doing this high speed, yeah totally dude? We were a thousand for my charity of the time and we are losing our fucking minds, chat and run Jews run. It was in june right know the the It wasn't a chase in june. Actually, the only reasons I know is that I was I remember being at my fraternity house, but maybe with summer school. I thought that the that the chase was in june or either the murder was junior the chase was might have been in june because I don't know because the I remember being a basketball camp. U s f in temper really here. I went to high school and your freshmen fucking eyes Ninety four, it knows no yeah, let's check it out now

I know I can tell you everything related to the nice. Can I have your pocket? I've been russia, so was path as post. Ninety five alone, but maybe it quit or maybe I'm thinking of his acquittal, that's different. Yet that was deftly later urges I'm soon bronco? Do you like the bigger iphone I'm just used to analyze I was I was adopted. I wish I had a preference for the smaller one, but at our hands the army, to one in safer june, seventeen nineteen, eighty four. So this could almost ninety? Ninety five of the attic late. Ninety five priority areas but when he yeah guess, maybe I was it. Maybe I was it. watching the bronco run. I remember when I was for that outside. I wish I'd I'd instagram,

Is that a thing by the way? What made in america that these he has handed us on lido? I didn't watch them made America one. I watch a five part documentary really it's unreal. Can I tell you what I've been looking for? There's a documentary about the guy who made the catholics vs convicts and the last two minutes cut out on me, what happened to that guy? Did he get kicked off the basketball team, yeah really yeah, and did he get kicked out of school? He did not get kicked out of school, but it's excellent. It's it's really kind of you really like empathize with that. Guy too, you see him now is like a grown man. It's like I don't want to like he's like. I don't want to bring it up and he said that digger phelps, the coach that had what's he made it to the team here when he went and when he talks on that he was like for a couple thousand dollars like for a couple thousand dollars you if your whole dreamily

He was like, oh my god. He actually ended up la LA. They allowed him to be like one of the stutter. You know transitions, yeah, fuck that job I know, but yeah it was that that was such a good dog they kill it. Do those thirty four there is, are amazing. Billy corbett started that you may started it. I mean he was dated to you. I know I didn't know that he started thirty for thirty. No, no! No! No! No! I mean I hated the first one: oh yeah yeah you was, and I hated miami yeah god, damn it. I loved that they needed part two yeah. That was all right. I mean billionaire listening those ok. It's really great to know those are bro at brock's awesome, yeah he's a so diehard musical documentary on boy soldiers and eo. Canes are garbage man, but this. If you are listening, seven in a row dude, it's a garbage. Can trash man today show with Al Jackson, there

What university miami you did me about it! No of yet and its first joke was about his dixon. It looks like a snickers bar yeah he's so funny that when I did lauderdale one time they had me paired up with him and then I'm watching them, and I was like oh I'm gonna actually have to try that he was drawing he's, he's a he's. What I love about them is like what one time I saw one dorsey at my daughter's school omar's, you know more, I don't know of. I know who he is yet. I see him up we to drop off I ve been. I gotta be on your blog ass, those like what about today his eye on over zealous we'll drink. It goes ok in it, but neither the way he says it that I bet I bet so he goes on. I go home I'll meet you there because of a call algae.

And I was like I dunno. If I was going to be up, he was like no no he'll be up, so he calls out him and I'll meet me at my house at like I'm, not even joking nine o'clock in the morning and we start getting fucking hamburger is omar, a florida guys who are now no noise from atlanta, okay and then, and then we go back and we just start drinking. We do like a three hour podcast and then Omar and AL are like. Let's go over to paths is a bar near my house, and I go okay, so we could have pats and then Omar an hour like we're going to stay out and almost like. He can pick up my kid really. I was like yeah, so I was just go homos, like I told his daughter, I was like hey you're, having a play date with georgia and they're like great. So I totally am, LEO and got them and then they brought him over and then I went by your deposit get broken. I came over and like alright time ago, but the men, those guys

except man. There's a there's, a a black posse in l, a that is fun as fuck, a black posse like a group of like us that comes out racist or came out very phil jackson said again a black posse group of black dudes that are fun as fuck. If the guy from captain america yeah, you know that guy he liked the black dude. maybe I don't have the america. Maybe it's like another superhero movie he's in it like a bunch of like really great actors, all great actors who I mean, I'm sure marginalized by the system. Somewhat. Don't know these guys, yeah yeah. I did a pilot with them with all of them passing a whole group of dudes and they were just fun as fuck all party I'll have a good time like real, like the party I, don't know where his points going, but but I will accept fun disease. What

the blacks, are super fun it'd, be a sort of trying to come up with a mickey mantle genes or oh, that's good, like, and so I got one of those baseball cards, and then I superimpose the russian propaganda art and in russian I have mickey mantle gene written in on his baseball card yeah, and then I have where the yankees thing was and yankees have cursive. I replaced the seams with dna strands. That's killer, man yeah it's! It doesn't look as good as I'm pitching it. I gotta I gotta, have someone professional? Do it? Oh you did yourself yeah yeah, that's the other. This whole fucking vibe of being able to do everything myself and being a one man show to that good. I mean it's good, but then you also gotta know when to outsource this stuff. I should outsource his podcast this one in particular. Why should I just wish I could like? I was ready.

It was last night we haven't even said what we're going to do right now. Oh yeah, pretty insane. Oh yeah good point good point runaway to the airport. Twenty two minutes in we have to do a podcast all the way back. This is not going to be long enough for a podcast there's. No fucking traffic is martin luther king day. We go to the airport, we're going to see the cavs warriors game tonight. Up in oakland tickets, courtside seats, all courtesy of one Joe rogan for the two of us losing weight. It's just hit like here's. What happened initially he was like I picked. You want to do, and know I wasn't going to be like seventy to paris. So I go. I looked it up. I was like this game is pretty local. You know semi local club, close flight and we get to see like you know the best in the last fifty years, play ball. Durant, curry, leubronn, like what fun

It was one of the big regrets. I never saw Michael Jordan play basketball yeah and I saw him play three times live and I still a great memory for me that I got to see him play live so I haven't seen any of those guys play live anyways. I tell Joe that he's I could nowhere is done then that night our senses that email, where his leg super emotional and, like he's like I'm, so proud of you guys they're going like? Have you not read the email yeah sounds like. Why do you have not texted me immediately? Well he's like talking about how we're going to be the for our children now and that was his we're out of obesity and you know anyway so says whatever trip it is they care was basically It was the equivalent of a christmas card. They said it does. It has been made made in unity and also as a way of saying I got it so much hatred for just saying, I'm not going to

If we're, then I'm to pay for it. So the next thing I do is, I call Joe and I go pay worry about that basketball thing anymore, because he was it was volunteering was Is he thought that I was back in algeria? I go. Don't don't worry about that I can't do it. So what would we're taking care of winning by way of by the way? And then maybe I should say this, but it explained so. much of their relationship so that you know there's a time where aryan? But are you told me about where I guess army was going through some more time? yeah Joe paid for him to go to a therapist. Oh, I believe that yeah or maybe I shouldn't say that, but I don't think our he gives a fuck paper. I don't like, like Joe, was like really like and there's friends of ours, like I won't say who like who went through this,

rough stuff and they even moved in with him for awhile yeah yeah. Like he's just been us, he was like you know. Someone was saying to me the difference between Eastcote. I think it was big jay, and I were talking- is a difference between east coast and west coast comedy right now, as we don't have a Joe rogan yeah, and he was like you know this guy, who is almost like, like ushering everyone to we're Carter do better world. Is anyone nicer each other, though, and as far as emma comics out here is no thieves? I don't know what the right now work at the store. I know what I mean like like people are nicer to each other out here that shit on new york, but nothing like they are like rougher bunch right leg as far as talk show, I'm so far removed from new york. Yet I now don't you I really new yorker, like J he's recently got a shroud jays great to do. He murdered goddamn how many

I'm sure he did motorway finish so face. What use as so, are you so anyways ices and pain? tell Joe hey man's very nicely. We really appreciate you volunteering to do that, but are you it's an email and he's going to take care of a trip, and you know we're all gonna go, some fun? So thank you but you're not to do that and then he was like no other way to do it on top Whatever it is, you lie. We have some come of already do. Yeah I didn't know that I didn't read the only email yeah that sounds like a gallon comfortable yeah. It's totally you but anyways. So he like and I go do don't do and he insisted on sending us to do as you like you. for my part, I guess you guys last Wade is awesome. I want to say that it is not. He insisted on doing it. It's kind of a sane like they tell me if this is a blow you a little bit of people, come up to a man like dude, I'm down twenty pounds.

It's because of you and Tom dude. Three times yesterday I was at the mall. These guys separate guys in different stores came up to me. They take your top singer and I go. Yeah and they're. Like I saw the whaler neck, I saw on Netflix yeah. I saw the weight loss thing and I go oh cool they're like I definitely look better. I go thanks and they're like am I a mega whose might get my girlfriend. She listened to a tune. She's gonna. Do that. Lotta people listen, you know tat. I am lotta emails to dude like about which I e. What should I do? a challenge my my fat friend lose.

Others are. You should start a website where people challenge each other here and there, and then you got a pale bats and that's the you know the videos go up of watching bets outrageous beds in the pay out, and I was like a really bad idea is a good idea if I had more outsourcing, but it is kind of crazy how many people were like. I guess inspired by that way. Look around! You know it. I wonder, then, do you think that fact shaming works, I think to a degree it does it really I also think it depends on the personality. That's receiving it because some people go like one of the things that would motivate me, and I could tell you all the things that motivated me. when things have been made me would be a comment that it would just be like maybe under something you posted and I would see it. Oh, I stopped reading comments entirely. Well, I bet It would be like it wouldn't be like the super mein kampf like fuck com, it be the one that,

I would say, like there's no way Tom as the desire to do this. I would read that and I be like motivated by sanctioning, because at the ones like that, like they go to another but a fat fuck who drinks on stage and tells the same college story over and over again, and I'd be like that, one that wanted in in a fit like. I was like you know what I am going to block this person first, but Secondly, I hope they come to one of my shows. Knowing they've been blocked and like I didn't meant, he lost weight and I know they're fat most of the people. Fat. Shame are fucking fat. Most of the people who throw out hate have really miserable lives. Yeah, and I was like oh and I like the ones that at that, Were funny made me laugh but ran in my head, they were like I was like. I still want to lose weight. I still want to lose weight. I could. I could not show up to rogan on that day, yeah and not be too twenty seven I was like, and I thought I was twenty seven. He really did. I really thought I was due twenty seven on that first day,

You have no idea how fucking shocked. I was really because I thought you were playing mind games. I know I thought it was going, be two fourteen the next day to twenty, I didn't weigh myself cause I didn't wanna know yeah cause I would I'd come in. Are you to me? I just go up to twenty yeah, so I feel like I was going to die the next day. I think I got kidney stones from that good. It's it's really inspired. I told drew doctor drew last night. I did this by guess and I said I think, I'm a really fucked up way I think about food, and I was telling him the way I eat and he goes no. That's actually healthy. The way you think about it. Now, yeah yeah cause I'm like. I only eat clean, I won't eat bread. I only eat like lean proteins and greens, I try not to I try to start off. The days with a sort of like a sort of political parties. Have you been hearing the twinkling

Do you? U inedible know why cause up again be useless all they are then saying at the four seasons. All night uses: devil night was an cocksucker. I think joy does my dad christmas eve anyway. So wait. The big motivations that were not comments are, you are just like thinking. I don't want to show up. I don't really show up. You don't want to show. I thought about that too. I thought that all the time of like of like and then when I saw you, I didn't want oh yeah going site, other god, brazilian all things.

Yeah staying next wednesday? For that openness? You tell yeah, I'm in town, okay, the I didn't want to show up not hit the weight and then have everybody go yeah, of course yeah. Of course you didn't. Do I'm like that right now withstand up where I go. I got a bunch of emails like of hateful people that are like you're, nothing but a drunk on stage. What, by the way I don't even drink. On I mean I have a drink on stage, but very seldom do I ever get drunk. There has definitely been times it's happened, definitely but like and so like. Lately, I'm going on stage and I'm bringing drugs it's the same as everything, but I'm like very cognizant of like not getting like. Not often are you getting these emails, it's just this one guy! No one is actually two guys with that. Guy and this guy from Minnesota said it to me and if any email in it in an email and it fucking bothered

I mean shit at the meal check, I was like dude and by the way I think another show he was at at minnesota. There are people either they show in Tampa. One time I was blackout drunk like I don't know how I got off stage. I heard a story. I won't say who tell you later of kama, who showed up that drunk well known really, and they had to refund a big room but whispered to me. No tell me right now: no, no, no! No, no place like mouth it. Just melted public francisco darker I've deadly how that in and you know what that is no. No, no, no, no one ever I'd refund money, but I've had an eye on that call in sick to work shows. Sometimes they get out of control,

what I do and how do you do it shone like that? You know what it's not autopilot, but it's almost like autopilot like I go, I know for fact, but this is the weird thing is I say this to myself and though I have love in my heart, so I don't say anything bad about anybody. Yeah. I don't shit on anybody. I did give out your phone number in Tampa. I should not have told you that I called you in tampa on the phone. Do you remember when I called you and I left a message maybe and I and apparently cow head was like no. You played his whole number on the fucking microphone and I was like I did. He was like oh, Well, he's like technically, everyone has his number. I was like, I don't remember that and he was like yeah. You are lit at night dude. If you can find pictures, someone tweeted to me and I'll retweet my favorite part of this is that the start with you going mean I don't fucking drink on stage.

like I, with lack of black out. I woke, I I remember being or stage remember taking pictures, and then I woke up in my parents house, and my first thought was: how did I get stage really? I was like how did I except the shows where he was at shots on stage. Then they were sending fireballs. Shall we wrap this refer now, because we're falling in here, like we gonna, put this stuff away. Yeah yeah yeah. I kind of want you to see where we're going on on mic, or maybe maybe okay yeah worry about where you have a go at your own entrance. The different entrance nah. Really I'm excited for this. It's so great and by the way I just re qualified had is the qualification has to be astronomical. It's basically it's uh, it's based on how much money you spend not not. Basically, I mean there are people who don't they'll change that trivial. They don't know the frequent flyers at all used to be about the mileage that you flew.

That's all they cared about. You flew this many miles you qualify to you. years ago, one of the airlines. Actually We are by the way, is to our disadvantage of suppliers, but it makes complete fiscal sense said like. Why are we rewarding like miles flown for money spent. So the nature, changed it. So now everything is based on how it should be spent with airline c of the treaty five. Were you talking about you talking about a ton of money? well. So the reason I mean technically the reason I got it was I was flying for travel channel first class around the world, which was why your deal project goes in my deal. My leanne was fucking livid when she found out that she was like get the fuckin money. She was like get the money book. Your tickets fly coach. I was like I'm never gonna get an opportunity to for a twenty five thousand dollar ticket to australia, and I won't ever have that opportunity- and I was like this- is how I can see the

Ilya be comfortable, and I was flying so much yet you're flying all over the world. So much so and wait. What is the tier of spending aggressive six figures? Oh yeah, oh yeah! Well I'll, just tell you, yeah Jesus man It was. It was so you qualified again. There was a, as I have said this before there was one month where I flew to ITALY first class from allay three times. Ah my car I've there was mean. How much is it in a second don't fly in this tyranny? War has stopped just now. I just go back. I was telling you about the trips

europe, oh yeah, yeah, oh yeah, like yeah yeah, you gotta, buy it and you go and so on and another thing is like I look at flights like I'm flying to fuckin. I wish I remember the name where I was going, but it was like a coach ticket was four hundred bucks and the first classic it was six hundred bought. Now I know it's not. I mean I understand. Two hundred bucks leanne's book is like say the money yeah I go yeah, but for two hundred bucks I don't have to worry about Anything right. You know, but this is my dad. Do things like he'll buy a ticket and it's like direct flight for her dollars? Stop In fact, in lieu of all three in thirty dollars, I'm like you're, going to do a connection and he's like yeah buy bob's. That way, I don't get it like. I I, although I will say that there are flights where I don't I like. If I have a full day, you know what I'm going to do. Three legs really fly all day, really yeah yeah yeah and I hate flying are terrified of flying. But I got the

fly all day and then get to where I'm going and I'll just log the miles, but yeah now miles are useless. It's all about money. You spend yeah my business managers like just book all your flights for the whole year. Today it was like really just because I could get such a savings and I went through and I started looking at it. I was like, oh my god, like there's so much cheaper today. Not today when you get Sunday

Why is it so much cheaper, just use like just book out for the year just out of your two months ahead. If you get real savings, if you know you're going to fly two months in advance, yeah, not bad, but I'm also the kind of guy that won't drive with an uber driver that isn't in a black towncar yeah. I don't get in like a dude's car just because you don't trust him as a driver. While I go, this is just a chinese guy like cause he's chinese. Well, no, but I got in the car, the chinese guy and I was like oh, this is just a chinese guy like this. Isn't like I drive a nice guy. Who's got a limo license, threat he's just a chinese guy, just a chinese guy element of carpet some dude in a in a kia, and I'm like oh fuck,

I didn't know he was racist did I know. Actually I feel safer. Actually in these oh yeah and and big, I don't like getting in a little cottage pl, especially on the road bls account was the best thing I ever did yeah cause. I was like gotta be honest account you got it on your phone. You can get a car whatever it's a little more and it's not like astronomical yeah, it's a little more, but you go. Oh, I can get the app. I guarantee you these guys. Bls has never called up like they do at the clubs

times are like yeah yeah man, I'm not going to make it to you know and you're like hey man, that's the most important thing you do is make it to me and that's your only job is to get me there safely and be early and bls has never happened with bls they're, always like. Isn't it cls, pls pls beat what's a bill s b I have three years to find out the means. Nothing. They just didn't begin hit cls. Okay. So so there is, are you fucking serious, because the company them the mother company in new york, eventually valentin limousine, and they can use seal as cause empire. Cls already had shut the fuck up, I use cls so for those of you who are already six years waiting for you for those who didn't hear that bls is my town, cars. This! I see, I see a lesser and b s only chose I'll? Ask that they be ahead of zeal as a sort of alice is a disease

At the moment is a real battle on both We have to do a podcast or what we'll do a catch up podcast when we come home when we lay okay, okay, we'll take your car I'll, get us a beer, and I realize on the right,

I wanna see this your entrance, I'm so excited it's not adult is you're the best you're. The best part is hard to explain like that. You'll see the best part. All right. Do you get ts ts, a project yeah, okay, on everything, Diana ross board across the board nice on American s, every flight? Okay, there are an unknown traveler, oh amen, no traveler! I came through this airport. One time you get to do you get the glow entry from Canada? Haven't no that's the shit. I went through this airport one time I had to carry on all I had and I had to

I don't dive knife in it in my bag and it was and I had another I do have another one to another knife. During a loaded, three, fifty seven and the and the guy said to me he was like he was like this is bad. I go. Oh, am I going to be late for my flight and he was like, I think, you're going to jail. What and I go are you serious? He goes yeah, but if it looks like a weapon, then it's a big deal. I had to call my supervisor so the supervisor comes over and the second he sees me goes to bert. I was like oh thank god It was like, let's see what we got here and he pulls out, it is the size of his forearm and he's like god. This isn't anything, don't worry come on I'll take it upstairs, will check it in and then the elevator is like. You should be going to jail right now, really, are you serious? He goes yeah. He was, but I understate

It's a mistake, but he goes. Where were you I said hawaii, he said scuba diving, I said yeah, it's because it was. It was a dive knife that goes around your calf and he was like he was like yeah. And I understand it's it's you know you there's no reason she got the job for this. Let's go check it in and, and you have checked his bag and I was like no problems. do what I was with christina one time they had the bomb unit come out for her bag and and then then they had the bomb like cops com. Was that it was the same chemical, it's a chemical that found and make up elsewhere a bag. So I was like, and I was talking to like the bango. Are you serious? He goes you don't have to stay to me. He's like she does. I was like see you later babe. I take it off. I traveled with a a trouble with the caravan who listened to this podcast. Who knows what I'm talking about right now, but I won't say his name yeah, who traveled with weed everywhere in the world and

muslim countries in to bogota nights. To do that. I kept saying like he would. He would have to vape pen with him on the plane and hit the vape pen and just blow it into the blanket like a comic, no caravan, oh and he was he was he's insane. I kept saying that and he was like dude vape pen how the fuck are they going to? Are they going to say they do oh and especially a muslim country. They think that shit, real serious man or singapore, or something like that man we were in or we were walking through zanzibar, which is a muslim and and just but he just was like you know it was almost like yeah. What are you going to do. As I remember one time he got pulled over. I want to say we're like I dunno, where we were, but was not america and he got pulled over because you know he's got cameras with them. So they'd go through the cameras. Thinking it was a bomb

And- and he was just sitting there rolling his eyes and he was getting pissed at them. Is it? Can you please fucking hurry up and I was like I was like you, you have drugs on you and he was like who gives a fuck, but I guess you know I dunno too that's the only way you can be to do shit like that. You know a gas cap dude I am. I have such I one time me and the the guy we used to tour with. We were here and we were flying southwest and he was like dude. You gotta bring weed with you or go to the very very end. He was like you, gotta bring me with you and we were my car. They wanted, we drove together. I picked him up,

then drove to the airport. He said guttering weed and I was like I was like okay and I had a bag of weed and I grabbed it and we shut the doors and I locked the car and then we started going to southwest and at the last minute I went fuck him and I went back through the in the car and he didn't know it so go through security and they pull me aside and they give me a full body check and he starts freaking out he's like and I start like uncomfortably laughing hysterically and the guy goes sirs or something funny I go. I almost brought weed with me and I left at my car and jay was like what and I go. I didn't bring the weed I left at my car and the guy goes. There's marijuana in your car and I said oh yeah, he goes what car do you have and I go I'm I fucking tell you Jesus Christ, man, you gotta, go past the priority. No, no idea!

they see those velvet ropes selling. I here I don't know this guy, though guys out here. It's a wall we'll get somebody guys when we land back from this trip. What are you how the show, The game was yeah and its two parter yeah this one's now now now it's working alright, this one too yeah they're, both working okay, yeah. Hopefully I got that first on august oh yeah, You did because you were always you were checking it yeah. You were talking to right now that I didn't look at art we're back from San francisco. Guys Tom Jonah keyboard abreast of how much fun

student, was there really was? I have a feeling I felt like a kid like I'm done, some have fun so long. We we got there, we hung out, we had launch for a minute, Then we went to the calves warriors game which we are expecting to be like. You know it is repeat of the finals, unlike this crazy game or the best part, is that we got to the stadium. my guy, we must read our tickets. We missed her eye tickets, which, by the way was still good like remained ass, exceeds again, maybe like none. Joking joke, like fourteen eleven rose back I would say right around fourteen fifteen rose back and we happen to be in sight. It's five and six, which were open when we got there. and then it was one of those things where how crazy is sick. Six seven minutes in the first quarter of the sky

because your member states- and indeed I am we're like things back immediately like I- must be in the. But why was the remember? The bob euchre commercial markets the idea in the front row why I actually thought he was wrong over libya, because I knew the the. By the way I was so high at this point yeah I could not focus yeah yeah. You were really high. I was the I'm not even joking the most in we hi I've ever been bad. I had a nice even keel, low key. Buzz gone. Hey Geno hit me up. I, what that same, vapor but when I am when that guy said that I was like nobody and I pulled out the ticket, and I showed him, he was a year you with better seats yeah, that's up literally, then they get his fourth row and I was like oh shit. He was right and then We're leaving this guy goes good, probably have meant galileo, thanks and then were literally like fourth row, but

what is odd. That was actually sees five units at this early hour. You like, I think, we're in courts ideas, but I want courts. I want a little bit above, get it accords. Are you can't see anything yet? I just I thought that, like I talk to some people- and they are like you know, if you go like four rose up, you get like that. The perfect angle you're just elevated another. You have like the perfect view, which it was true. It was the best view our bottom pervert anyways. It was a total man, massacre. We got to see when my god I think in the end, it was a little more respectable than that, like maybe- and maybe it was thirty- I dunno twenty something, but it was it was it they got it once they got going. Remember how fast things just took off. I respect me respect for not for steph, curry

The durant is he, where you are freaking out on durant, the guy that looks like a pete yeah durant, Kevin durant, yeah looks like pete has. He looks like you said. That was the way to what did I say you said he looked like PETE davidson does look like it It was a bit ever. They have the high. Shall I soldier skinny legs, ass utopia, givens date like Steven Spielberg, daughters and now it's Larry David's daughter had yeah but yeah, but men like the level of atlantis ism that we witnessed like d the speed and when we went to guide the sides to make me It's a run for it, but across the courtyard, oh, my god, and the it's really cool cause it. It does have the thing that I love about basketball is it still has that school feel right of like a dunk, and the place goes nuts, oh yeah,

or the visa hurry like these air, there have like the two most prolific, three point: shooters in the game. I wouldn't mind doing this with other with other sports yeah, but go round and see some. I would. I really do want to see a soccer game. I've never been the last game I went to was probably when I was like six and I went to a router shit. I thought we were going to see barcelona, paris, man I would add that with our he said, I can you wait till I get back from leaving the earth. So if he doesn't, you know if he comes back alive, I guess we'll go later. I gotta take an extra second to really give our shit about this, because he hasn't done enough shit. It's really funny when he gets should. Actually, it is because, ultimately always says he saw in the doesn't care about that stuff. But he's gotten so much shit they out. He really has that it that ISA absorb a care there. He is like to shut down, don't look at it, but it's fun.

Everytime he gets tagged in something he's gone, downright yeah he's gone and how cool that we saw lebron flop. You know I always like that. He sold that that that pick that was set against there was a foul but like he, he sold it like a flagrant and it worked, which is kind of funny. What's right in front of us, oh, how about the guy it's. My favorite part of the whole night tell him. You tell him. There was this guy in the second row, so it really is two rows in front of us: fire he's, probably five: five or five six and full head of hair yeah little dweeb guy and he's just barking at lebron right barking at him. Barking. And and finally leubronn loathsome and start counting the rings that he has like, showing him how many you know how many championship rings he has, which I guess is what three four I forget so anyways he does it and the guy keeps saying shit. I can't really hear what he sang is so loud in the arena anyways, but as we

go to a time out la goes over to the wrath, and he goes back. I am he mouthed something like if he goes I thought I saw him go like that's it. That's it! I'm done so. The raft like it's like you get too takes this deep silence had dammit like I gonna, handle this god. So he calls where the other wraps they call over nba security and as this guy it seeing what we're seeing he gets up from his seat like take a walk, and you could tell that lackeys. He obviously knows that he got under or skin, in that lebron is having them so as he tries to go, he goes for a while like us by a barrier popcorn when evaluating the game backward, nothing while okay so but when he came when he came out of the tunnel, but he just what I was with us. did, I guess tat s actually came out the tunnel they jumped on him and he was

He was immediately like all come on yeah, but I have like he's such a bitch that guy you know like. I know a lot of people that hate lebron, but here's what I don't respect at all. Okay, that a guy like that is his bar in at a dude who would murder you with one hand if it wasn't for the implied protection that you know you have at a lot. I got a big event like he would never opened his fucking mouth two leubronn. If they were like walking down the street- or he would dare say it like that, but all sudden, Oh there's, dahlias! Oliver armies, ok, man of absolutely first, we scientists

for my white: will you fuck my wife, I'd love to watch like he would say anything there and then, but on in that context, he's like you're a bitch you suck come on. Please it's a total bitch move! That's that was my buddy eddie's problem with l, a guys like that guys like that yeah fill the city, IL the city, guys who talk tough traffic, go fuck yourself, yeah, like oh get out of the car, I'm not get out of my car, it's a teal, Bmw, yeah, yeah, fuckin yeah, and then that's who that guy is a bark and a total bitch, and I felt so bad for how much would you pay to watch everybody just step aside and be like alright? you can go! You can go up to him now and talk to his face. How great would it be if they were like? Ladies and gentlemen, we've changed the idea of tonight and lebron is going to beat this man on the theaters and the place goes fucking nuts he's been taunting him for the last thirty minutes and is your height

real of this guy to IRAN, Leubronn could beat him to death with staff curry. I got You are a dick and beat him to death. Yeah. Of course, steph curry could probably beat this guy up and by the way, is not he's like what he's gotta be like six one, six, two, thank you listed at six three, but yeah is probably six one that I is doing the same. We went down from row fourteen to row eleven for yeah and it was amazing how much bigger they were they're, so big they're, so big they're monsters. We could we talk about the thing we talked about. So when we got to the airport we checked in what real, quick. If you can encompass the experience of flying with american airlines were, how would you it's not the x rays of flying with american airlines? Is the experience with flying.

African airlines with you who, who happens to be a concierge key yeah elite member? That's the difference, it's just what walks through it. I mean that tells what it's okay, so it is pretty great guys. Here's what happened! he had of the way this is I'm leverage my own family, for this experience is a pretty great. So when you pull up to americans terminal for at a lax use, American and then you'll see priority? Yet the end which is like, if you fly, you know, you're a man like medallion level fly or first you have your own check and, and then there's in even set. but one which is what burke checks into which has a red carpet and a gentleman in a grey jacket and us and black tie and its own friends you walk in one lady behind the counter. Nobody in the area the only time other ever people in there it was like Peter townsend, those like it's always celebrities.

like when you walk into you. You definitely go like when they leave. I go who's that and they're like. Oh that's, Peter Donaldson shut the fuck up. Well then they hope they check you in and then the gentleman in the gray jacket. How great is this? Takes you in the elevator and then bypasses the entire security line walks up to the tsh agent and goes here you go like these guys are next in front of everybody and then walks you and then walks you to security and puts your bags like as if that's a burden on you. It takes your bags and is like you're all set order me walking to the gate door to door. What do you think it took us to get through security on it from when we dropped when we pulled up there, and I mean the whole thing- was definitely under five minutes right yeah. It's amazing! It's amazing. It's amazing! Then and then, and then and then, oh okay, so we are all my god, you didn't tell us, you should tell the story of the time

walked up- and somebody said excuse me, oh my favorite, that was fantastic. This is my favorite story about flying on American. Ever so same experience go in check in, but flying I just american concierge concierge flying costs. Garage I go to the I gotta check and that when we go to the ts airline there's like a little a hefty line, and so we get to the earth. My mother, my body, I see my friend, takes me the front work days at sea escorts me to the very firm alliance woman gets a little upset because it is I have the line lounged in it. She was whoa. Where are you guys going? He goes. Oh I'm sorry. He flies a lot and she just barks out. I fly a lot too and he goes. I can fly, I'm executive platinum and he goes. He flies so much. I know his name. Do I know your name, she goes no and he goes exactly.

Walked past is amazing and I went oh, you should talk for a living that was the best cut down but, like I do, fly so much that like as we walked through, you They saw a rooms like migratory birds. The bar defiling you named Bart, like that wait. I did that with arima ticket as I walked to the bar one time or the am it is. I I'd been living my life as a comic and on travel. Gentlemen, leone and I flew to mexico together and we get to the bar and they're like bird everyone literally bored and lands like you, gotta stop drinking hilarious man, but by the way I think and a point should be made that, like for a frequent travellers. This stuff is so much more meaningful because travelling like that,

burden of the airport stuff becomes such a like a wear and tear on your life. I mean like what you have with them like eases everything that sucks about the airport and just for the record for everyone is like, but I travel a lot. The difference is, I don't mind. Spending extra on ticket it's to make sure that I keep this just a lot. A lot of it has changed. I think we talked about this on. The lot of this has changed in that. That is how much money you spent on tickets and that that that becomes important to me is that I'd rather spend more to be able to like today. I think we're running a little bit late and we go right through it everything's fine. Then they grab us and they take us to the plane and then they take us off. The plane that was bothered by the great part is that we were in terminal six. That's where our flight was leaving out of when we go to the admirals club and then someone just comes up and like MR sara, MR crozier, he goes ready, yeah well, actually, even how about landing. Now we got off the plane.

there is no reason why we could like instead osama dude. Yes, where we were supposed to take them. Shuttle back to the terms we run a little round about that and then, when we got off your name, some those waiting with your name and they put it in a cadillac and drove us there. Instead of great, there was fuckin amazing worried. Is amazonas amazing yeah? Well, you know it is you become. I told you the best one ever ever ever was london when I flew it with my my producer stacy, and they were waiting at the door and they're like you guys going to miss your flight to ITALY. Let's go and they checked us in through customs.

at the plane, unreal man. It was man I'll, tell you right now. I I tell everyone to fly american because I dunno, if that that said, that that setup is forever. I dunno, if delta has got something equivalent. Well, delta has so a few years ago, like now I fly, I think I told you. I just fly your nervous wreck you're, all about like you and ian bag, cut the time cut the time yuck. I want to live my life, I Would you I have flown three flights, sometimes just cause. I was like fuck it it's a day, yeah! No, I'm fine with. I think we talked about this last podcast. Oddly enough for the first part of this for

I dunno. Let's say seven years, six years, seven years, just Alta, just as I mean ninety eight percent of the time. So a couple of years I was diamond, which is they're they're elite level, and there was some like definitely cool perks to it and, like I had a number of times where I would do a connecting flight and they would, I would land and then they would walk me down to the tarmac like you like you and they have a thing with porsche, but it's an impala

He has added a bala, I didn't have an impala would you have did? I know I had a malibu, oh yeah yeah, my dad just texted me about that he's like you, should check out the malibu I was like bonds said it is sweet. Here's. My question yeah. I thought about this. I was like. If you fly with belper yeah, do you think he flies coach? Definitely not! I think he does know of it. He does know he doesn't. I bet he does know he's. He flies in the front of the plane for sure think one hundred percent one hundred percent I thought about that identifies first. Likewise, I don't know I thought about this when we first started this trip, like I'm glad it's tom and not bill, because I'm sure bill would want to set a first class, it can be re banu, but, like you would never.

The dunno bill seems like that kind of guy. He just is like he's like fuck. I don't give a fuck now. I think he's all these unassuming and unpretentious yet, but definitely would be up there. Louie louie is definitely a first class guy private osi point find products supplies private yeah yeah. Definitely so what's the thrust you think tosh fires private? I know he does for real. I flew with him private what yeah off. las vegas, boston, vegas, god, damn it, but he flood he's been flying only private for like he asked it was a future date for him one time and I turned it down so I was like I was like I think, I'm bigger than that like I don't want to have, and I now I regret it, no one that I would have flown the jet with him. I'm sure he's got like an assistant yeah. He does fucking five dogs, two two

If I tell you, I rarely ran into him at the store, and I was like I think I said this. I dunno if I said this or not, but if I was like hey, do you mind if I taking a vacation at your house? you're going down whatever and I was like nah I wouldn't bring my kids. I will lick. The toes are not as vibe shit I saw him about two months ago with the improv and he goes. Weight loss thing going. I go. I got good, we tweet out bird is fat and he goes see you. He's a really interesting. I a sofa, You know a big j doesn't know em, we occurs so crazy to me, though, that we know big J. We know tosh and they don't know each other, even if ever met never

but that does not strike me as I do not really know. Does he get tangled caution? Lucy gay know each other. Yes, you think that's what I'm saying that that the jailing does not strike me as I, because I know J, mostly up until very recent, We spent almost exclusively all his time on the east coast, so yeah Daniel's been out here for fifteen plus years, so just as you're planning a party at taj his house, I liked this idea. Do you think he'll be into it though, or no yeah? Let's start it. That's all you gotta do started and she's and she's happy to sunday party to Sunday party party out of this house. I think he's I, if I'm not mistaken, he's gonna mansion malibu on the beach. I dont have a borders in surfboards. How many people do you want to come to this? A lot of how I would prefer fifteen twenty, like a pretty modest sexier intimate with me, I was eight.

Well, we're gonna bring our kids because they'll love the beach yeah we're not going to fucking do a day where we have to get sitters where we could have let them lodge as a hashtag sunday tosh party yeah, I started sunday Josh party mew bush Ellis. Lily am cool, got seven right there. We invite duncan he's a single yeah duncan, get come out bring joey. I and and terry scenario at what were at twelve. Eleven, yet who else would be fun, or like yours and egypt or wherever I can't come. but he's not invited because he was not invited because he's a welcher but I'll bring the voltron. Gonna, be gun. Nobody's yea, I ever is full drawn tommy johnny.

springtime johnny his wife and his kid. So should we thank them. Tosh for at home, in the party You know what he's gonna be so busy like put in silence together, I mean like you now thank you for letting us come over here, I think you should be a surprise party. the party in europe a europe. Imagine would love that he seems like the kind of guy I'd be like this is the best idea. I bet I bet I'm not even fucking around. I bet. If we came in with camera crew yeah and we filmed a surprise party for him, I bet it would go on a show. I would like to take action on this bet. The study would ate it so okay, so we start with voltron reaching out. So I'm going hey you home today and he's a guest and then we go alright posse assembled. We get, I guarantee you if we got rogen and stanhope Yeah bingo chad, shank, Greg shelly,

The party just got way bigger by the way yeah yeah yeah rogan is not going to bring his kids. Rogue is going gonna bring his kids no will bring them. That is what we are now we got twenty five. I guarantee you if we show that we can rest and it is partly for us It will go viral. They show newt a brand new aid of this prize parties wherever he shows up your house gossip eyes we're the party trying to wrap my head around seven hour. We do they have in the morning, but some of the morning also to go fuck ourselves, though he wouldn't give his number. I hear I have something better got what we call his managers number just calls assistant, ready, yeah, So this is mike The

it doesn't matter. I didn't answer that, but I think it is yeah. We've worked with him too. Oh yeah, alright I'll call tosh the kind of I. So you don't think. Oh, please call the police. I think tosh would love it. This is the best I'm so excited to hear him. Rip this idea to shreds of good occurs wards of answers that really it's malibu I might have the old members would not be off. I don't have as ever His planet yeah I mean, is it sounds like you. Have it pretty well thought out be fun as fuck barbecue. Also, oh yeah: we've shown a ritorno with everything: oh yeah, okay, hardcore.

Kegs admins. Are you a drink? I bring tito's and soda yet we had a few today I happy the other one drink. Some that whole group Wait he does as others you had the two three four. What do you think, I can put it together. I think it is a I eight there you have it.

I don't I don't sound, hammered right now. How do you feel the perfect really yeah? I want I'm going to write I'm going to Tom Papa's house to do a podcast, I'm running my conan set on podcast cause. I believe that that's how you should run sets if you're going to panel. I believe that I don't think doing a set is going to help with that yeah. That's! So I'm doing a bunch of podcasts careful tonnage. Now we are going to have him. For instance, tell them are very candidly. I want to tell you the story, but please, let's make a conversational yeah yeah just do it just do it make it very conversational. Interrupt me change it. Ask me any question. I want like kind of thrown off and I will keep it under seven minutes very cool. The time did this. What are you looking at? I got a text from his assistant as in a meeting in Cairo bacchus out, because it because now sitting with mercosur

on the scaffold charge for georgia, that he will it's so hard at this nonsense. Please call full charge hey. Would you guys please reach out to tosh? Don't worry, I guess it's better. A surprise party is better you. Let them know what's going to and yet but tell him. He'll, never know the day. Ye are you It is for these sunday, tosh party, don't aim even sunday, just say use, but of which sunday, which then I do you think the sunday touch surprised by what happened. What you really tough somewhere relax eighteen sundays in a row. So depressing thing you ve said in forty eight hours. Well, I want to make two million dollars a year. Also such an asshole. Do you like that? I, that I inflate everything. Yes, because I run

if the paper on the yard, I do it sincerely people go as houses, three million dollars. I dunno. Why and then you go people go like I heard you did like five thousand seats, I'm like what five thousand although I guess what bird said when I go: okay, it's like when you call a full charge. No, my mom said Tom sawyer at ruth eckerd hall. Yes- and I said yes, I it's as I'm trying to crawl full charge, brains are perfectly maybe be those eight or no. Now you want to do is full of george this'll be fantastic. I guarantee it

won't touch porno. Let's, let's run it. Matt knows him. Well, let's, let's run this whole idea by him: yeah, hey buddy you! There were no nothing, I'm sorry! I was trying to make sure hey. So I'm similar bonds are doing a podcast, but we're talking about tell me what you think about this. I idea I'm going to soft, sell to you, but tom and I are thinking about throwing a surprise party for taj, where we show up to his house. What do you? How do you think you'd react I think he's going to be fucking mess, yeah, okay, okay, hold on hold on hold on. I just sold it. Let me hard sell it. Let me hard sell it. Yeah. Tell me the amount of people too. So it's going to be about twenty five people. Okay, here's the, It's me tom, but our wives, at our road in his wife, his kid Joey Diaz, his wife, his kid you yeah, that's it

and then we show up. I mean this is birds, one hundred percent birds idea just to be clear, and then we show up with barbecue. Who in some booze and we go hey? We want to hang out here and end user paddle boards and like what? What percentage chance you think that he enjoys that It's a great idea. All you guys need to address so good luck but those are unclear Fucking assholes, I think it'd be a great segment for a show. I'm serious, I don't wanna be the guy that makes it an ok way to who's. My question is who's the guy that knocks on the door. Do you guys wanna call? Chris Fairbanks fairbanks, he might be able to help you I can alright. I disagree very funny. It'll be fucking great it'd, be very funny for the wreck

I think it's a terrible idea, Funny crises like no way the way hardway variant, louis, you think you'll be happy jack, violently. Definitely if all the people showed up at your house, I would love an example. Bad example. Bullshit about passes out new hybrid. I would love it. You don't think there's a part of it. We'd be like. Oh, this is like a trust, fall guys, guys guys wait till I get a little bit more money in the bank and then we can do this junk, but right now it's not a fun time. For me, it's no. It's going viral, it's going to go viral and then I'll have to talk about her on the show

dude, I'm stalling? This is going to happen now. Obviously, you guys need to focus on different ways to be successful, know this is going to happen. This is I'm gonna put this out there and it's going on my podcast and people are, and people are going to want to see the look on his face. When we show up, and its twenty five people and one surprise how beside I hey. Where are you wear it where's where's, your bathroom, yeah? I mean you're right you're right, I mean I think, solidly. There's there there's a pretty good. chance that one of us gets murdered be assaulted by him. Now he so skinny we're both tiggle house. Basically, you guys get refined

yeah career wise, you gonna, be fine. Workers will be better off so much better off. Did this solves you guys, you guys gonna be good at it. You know may I don't see when I gain out like your friend oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I'll, be the one relying on the door. I think I think I think bert knocking his idea on the person knock on your door for a twenty five person, surprise party and then that'll, be the new thing. That'll be the next to touchpoint. Oh trustful viral video. His surprise parties will be able to do one surprise party. yeah? I guess I get the you always get it. I got it. I can't I get the job by the way. By the way I guarantee you all my children. If Joey Diaz rugen was one knock on the door. Tosh o totally smile you'd like

I was just going to guarantee, but with me knocking on the door, you notice is gonna, be like that and he'll literally shut the door and go back to watching tv or meditating or surfing or whatever the phuket banging I don't think you would ever forgive me for that when I set it up. Okay, there's other people that can help you fairbanks yeah, alright, calling right now I did or later, but I think that would be fucking hilarious when I'm texting his assistant, oh okay, tell him to call us and tell him to keep it on the deal. We should call rogan. Thank him by the way for those of you that oh beverly hills was this tosh hello

I have doctor could and office. Oh hey how you doing oh hold on one second hold on one. Second, that's my cardiologist! Thank you very much. The I will do that. Hey thank very much er bye. Ok, so I just liver and cholesterol, elevated, but not nothing to be concerned about good. ok, this is accordingly andrew, I said bert wants to do a surprise party attaches house. He wants a sharper twice people. As that on a scale of one to ten, how bad of an idea is that any

Do you need a new scale that will go rogen the weight? Do you really think he would enjoy like either? Like I know, he's got a sense of humor. Like you, you don't think part of him will be like this is fucking ridiculously funny. Maybe if you stood back and looked at it, Now I don't think so, not in the moment for sure. So, if we got andrew to like, if we got andrew like dial into this and help us

you were not. Why wouldn't really, please see causing right now by word or or writing or had been point five, five, five, seventy seven, eighty three, eighty three I can't believe I can't believe tosh wouldn't find this fuck, I'm telling them right now of okay. Alright, so we load it. Let's call bill burr. You think there would be enough where we think this is a terrible idea. I don't think you understand how bad of an idea this is. I think I are you being so

one idea yeah totally. First of all, just for the record, I would hate if this happened to me purse. Okay, for the record, I would fucking love this. You really think so. Yes, I bet I bet bill, would think it was fucking hilarious, macomb. Oh my god, I don't think he's going to like this he's going to love it. If we did it to bill no way, you don't think, though, like fuck. No, he wouldn't like this. The crusher hey bill is I'm with Tom segura and I want to run an idea past you. I want your honest opinion, okay, by the way I'm on my podcast. So and so you have your on your pocket, yeah yeah, we were in a car. We just got back on the podcast right now. Am I on a podcast right now marty feeling that I'm going go well, yeah yeah, just by the way. yeah. How does business work just so? You call the person's people for yeah fucking, like you know what a podcast people

bill. Yet when really really here amount on this one bill, so how would you like to have a lot of pain and yet a big believer? how would you react if I showed up to your house with twenty five people. Rogan jody as our kids, Tom's, kids, tom and christina my wife. My kids and I threw a surprise party for you at your house where we showed up groceries and withdrew a party on a sunday. Would you go everyone needs to leave or would you let us throw a party, your house? Why would be rude, but I definitely would have on what the fuck conversation wait. This is the next level. This is the next level anyway. Wait. Wait! Don't do that, that's what I would do. My wife would be like. Why do people get a of Yeah yeah! Ok, while you you guys sound so unreasonable now bird is really

pitching the idea of doing this to Daniel tosh, and how do you think that will go over I dunno I mean that he, like a nice practical joke like that it in the nope. The corner thing is going over your throne image, the flower party, but everyone's gonna go party at his giant house. Well, when a gulp burp, years ago, the upper months ago by okay, so so now, when he set out, but here's the thing what what what bird is assessed, Lee pitching is what he wants. People to do to him see he would love this, but

literally, nobody that I can think of would enjoy this. Certainly not twenty five people, people to go over your account to be a paid gig to like bar crusher plant money. So why would you be interested? You are near doing it with toss with me, Joe rogan, Joey, Diaz Tom Segura and our wives and our families and mashable to my wife still after given birth, so I don't think she wants to be part of some giant practical joke at ya. Gotta kick first at what happened after that I'll organize it. But are you in

as far as what I I don't know that I know of touch willing to be part of this fuckin has a meltdown dot. No, no dory, I'm I'm the one that knocks on the door, frightened god by the way, now that you've done it on the podcast, I'm going to go out on a limb and say someone's going to ruin it tweeted. To know, though, the point of this bill is that is that it goes out there. He realize it's going to happen. We brace him for it. And one random sunday? Twenty five people show up at his door I go surprise. Yeah, alright, yeah give me a gated community guy twenty by people going over gate like the scar pick the ugh and I'm on I'm going to be all hollywood here. I gotta go with georgia edit room or stare at the same

It was pocket for hours, so I will talk to the gentleman see about buddy, but a common thing you've already come in baby. Alright, perfect! Thank you. So now we got bill burr, you know, rogan will do it. Stanhope will fly out. and we'll just know. This is a warning to toss yeah yeah yeah I mean I mean, I'm not being honest and telling you, as as far every sunday hippo ready for as far as people that you want feeling like this way. This unknown surprise how to affect them. I think yet, I think, he's possibly the worst person you put that way, it's graham above what will do is our reach out to charge. It is, I think, is a guy that does that show with him touchpoint, oh yeah and I'll reach out to him and say just give me a heads up or even toss a surprise party yeah and we'll get his film crew.

pay, for it is productive, been, I think, he's going to fucking love it. I honestly I'm telling you right now. I will say this wholeheartedly. Yeah hundred people know Daniel tossed away on a daniel tosh This a hundred people in this world know him the way. I know him. There are a hundred people that can knock on the door that could get him a smile. I am one of those hundred I guerin fuck into you re right, dude, I'm telling you what I say this, but I am saying this whole heartedly had we lived near each other. We be best friends. He loves me loves me man. These are your your really estatements a fucking tito them like yeah that I think it might be. The tito's talking to cheetos might be that, but, like I guarantee you me with him lived there each other? Yet we spent every day together every thought maybe gather what what's is what it was and notes

I was trying to get at his assistant to call in this meeting still up here on the rights we gotta wrap this up, man? That was super fun. There was a lot of fun, our half podcast here and any notes anything now. It was a blast. greater. I gotta think coral and roland the at the bank.

You guys sign up, find the mag cuban. I told you this by the way, but the first time I came here, my driver ran into your fucking gate, cool man, not even serious, I'm being dead serious. He hit it. He ran into it hardest, fuck it works, so wait why he was trying to get himself to the dial thing. Jesus man, I know I know just give me a heads up and follow the mad cuban and roland on inst on twitter and instagram. They were the ones that hooked us up at the dinner last night was at. Where was our dinner at his house, the prime ribs and you know, he's still in his meeting him to get out step out and call, I told him go say, go take a shit and he goes. I texted my go

what about leaving you tier to Andrew okay, we're going yeah, we've gotta go! Alright, it was fun man. I had a good time with you all the time too. We should do this more often. We definitely should give that speech again real quick about how people should take some diamond yeah. Don't you you can't just you can't just where work all finally agree on rihanna says you have to enjoy yourself and like have fun, you do this fund for no other reason than just have fun so make sure you don't just work and think about it serious shit. All the time go pick a friend grab a friend. Some fine enjoy your life, and am I can't wait to do like this again in pursuit again you mean ash will have a great time. Well would do us passport or other guys, Lebanon,

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