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the guy's brand new podcast released on the eve of my anniversary eve. No, it is our anniversary know is next night was the eve note tonight is the I'm putting it out even again, I'm putting it out tonight is the eve of our anniversary evening. Oh the eaves that I beforehand christmas eve, new year's or shut up. So do people have birthday eves I do now. Okay, I just wanted their houses and everyone. It is unanimous. Everyone likes these casual catch ups for intros, so I just wanted to tell you where I'm at with my wife- and it is our anniversary today, thirteen years thirteen years have I changed in thirteen years. Yes, how much a lot for the good or the worse, mostly for the good. I can take a little more change in the light, picking up my shit off the floor department, but other than that, it's pretty good, really happy. Yes, I'm very happy you're happy, and you know that you know the answer. Alright, the girls are coming out here. You start a love. You baby love, you happy anniversary, happy anniversary, alright, so this is the little catch up session that everyone likes and I don't mind it either. Is a lot less work for me and what's going on today, I ran into tommy buns. I know a lot of people who have been interested in the weight loss battle is going to come to a head january. Second and third, on Joe's podcast. I shouldn't announce that, although Joe is, I'm sure doesn't care that I say that, but I do say that in the podcast later, but that is where we're doing weigh ins, we're going to be doing him with Joe Joe is going to be emceeing them, and I think one of the two days of podcasting with them on the third and the second and third, and if everyone's schedule works out good, but I ran into tommy. Buns are going to be dead, honest with you, man. I need to fucking focus that guy looks amazing. He really does you know I'm going to always bust his balls. You know, but man he looks different. I didn't even recognize him. He looks like a meathead to be honest with you, like a fucking guy that, like goes to a bar and like tugs on his shirt, a little bit cause. He still has fat body, shaming issues like tugs on his shirt but like walks different, and he kind of looks like that, guy, the guy that that probably tells everyone he fucks a lot. That is exactly what he looked like and we went. We had a meeting and all things comedy if you don't already check out the dollop with dave, anthony and Gareth Reynolds, and I hung out with Dave anthony for the first time today. I know of known as Dave anthony for a very long time, I'd love to get him on my podcast I'd love to get both those guys on my podcast, but their podcast is absolutely fantastic. It's a part of the all things comedy network which do you know that I'm a part of me and an owl and bill and aryan dave and bonds are all kind of spearheading and big things are happening over the all things comedy so stay tuned, but just take a second and check out the dollop. I haven't listened to it yet, but I just downloaded the one real quick see if I can find it and the one about baseball the rube. I think it's called and he's like check that one out you'll really like it. So I'm going to listen to it tonight, check it out, give them a holler on twitter and let them know that you heard it here, but that's what our comedy network should be. I also did the h three podcast. I dunno. If you guys know who a three eighty three productions are, but there are two two a couple Ethan and he Ila always fucker name up, because it starts with an h, Ethan and Ila, and I did their podcast yesterday, so that'll be coming out within the next coming weeks. But it's really good. He gets super fucking drunk on the end of it and it fuckin dollop spillett. Do you? Oh l, l! U p the dull with an o d, o l, l, o p, with Dave, anthony and Gareth reynolds and see if I can find the one with I'll look for it, it's one with baseball. He said so anyway, that's the catch up. I hope you guys still enjoy that tour dates. You know where to get them. I can just tell me off the top of my head this weekend, I'm in in oxnard and then I'm in new jersey at the stress factory that I'm in the american comedy company in san diego then january, twenty first at the wilbur theatre in Boston, then buffalo and it keeps going on from there. Alright, I know also you guys like to you guys suggested that you know hey bert. Sometimes we don't aren't familiar with your guests. So if you give us a little short intro to who they are I'd, love that okay, here you go, today's podcast is with John Hafen and brad Williams. Brad is a little person. I say that only because it wouldn't be obvious. We talked about it in the thing, but that might really you might zone in and go. Oh, I know who this guy has got a showtime special called fun size. That was absolutely fantastic. I've have brought on the podcast before my daughter was the one who won. I brought her in to tell him a midget joke, because she had told me a midget joke, and I said you can't say the word midget. So Brad is fucking hilarious friends with he also was on mine, dementia girlfriends, that Cosmin, thea and and then John have friend John was on last comic standing too. I can't imagine anyone would not know these guys, but I'm doing this just in case you don't. He was on last comic standing to he. One last comic standing too right now. You're, like oh wait, I know what you're talking about John is he's got a great fucking brain. He has,

where ideas than anyone, I've ever fucking met and all his ideas are like well thought looks almost like he's bipolar he's got so many fucking ideas, but he is fucking hilarious. Little sidebar last comic standing to his I'd competed in was when georgia was being born was twelve years ago roughly thirteen years ago, and I and I was vying for the spot. The job was vying for we both did it in nashville at deniz, and we both, I think we went out and had a beer afterwards, but John went on to win it and I didn't get it, and I reference that in this podcast that that was one of the lowest parts of my life as the day I didn't get on last comic standing anyway, but those are my guests today are no sponsors today, but look forward to sponsors, because this podcast is getting monetized motherfuckers. I am going to try to pare down my tv work and just focus on my podcast and and my stand up and and and whatever I want to do it all things comedy because right now I feel like I wanna fucking steer my ship. I appreciate you guys listening. You know that, and I hope see you guys at my shows and if you want to hang out of two shows just tell me a man, not gonna fucking creep, you out, let's just go, get a beer and we go get a beer. I love you guys or don't you let her do the podcast the go just waiting for the fucking levels.

here check jack air, we're talking yet right here, pervert! There are many here pervert and pod this down by this, until he gets here a moment it turns my gone now, would help oh, how great would it be if I did a whole podcast, the mic on so true, so this podcast comes out and it's like no trust me hepburn's in the room yeah that those the dramatic pauses we have but like like was Was it a few showtime special that that thing changing yeah. We did the two of them, and then I saw actually sell tickets on the road and music. When did I thought I think your ears, your first special snacks eyes, for once I slept the funds as its next as a good name once eyes

I thought it was fucking phenomenal thankful. It was really phenomenal and I was like. Oh, this will be a game. This will move the dial yeah. Well, if I ever release a fifteen minute special I'll call, it snack size- that's. What netflix is doing now really through from people. Thirty minutes, specials! Really your Chris rock requires rocky turn our eeyore, but now they want to jerry. You do thirty. Wow snowiest want to be like all right. If you got thirty years ago, do because it's all been. The standard is an hour, but I already is a cheap, in my opinion, has limited something here: everyone's good in thirty minutes, yet the art form as an hour, yet the our farmers can you arc a story right and fucking. I mean that airport, when I was when I was, I am so different sums, much older than you like one started outlining dane cook was, was doing clubs, ok, The reason I start my first headline, gig ever was dane cook had to bail out of

Houston last. Stop. That's all to fill it Those are always rather than those roles. Are. You start like always start doing either feelings or throw a week I I have to funny feelings and then get back the story, the some ever filled in for some one was Andy dick, because he fired because he teabag de guys drink It was at home. Was that in west virginia know that That was at like the irvine improv was just like his closer was the stuff that he was doing and something he says but yeah he he barely took his balls out and a teabag. the guy's drink the guy, gaga mad, so yeah, then they call and it they me too convenient so thou. the first one. Second one was because mark cooper cooper way. Yahoo programme are the black duty. I like the angolan mr cooper yeah mart mark cooper. drove the irvine improv when he was supposed to be a break. Improv

they didn't havoc and I'd at the time. I lived two blocks away from the brain, improv stages com, I like brad, you so like that drove down I have one of those I have one of those I was in as well. bob say in the in bag in Breyer and there, like Jamie foxes holding out for an extra ten thousand dollars on a sunday show we need someone to come headline and so on. Fuckin left breyer drove to irvine got on stage and I was on stage. Maybe fifteen minutes in Jamie Foxx just walked in lit cigar just and just walked right up on stage. I was like, oh, ladies and gentlemen, Jamie foxx guess they paid em. I guess the negotiations came through. I was a big thing that they used to say that black comics would do is they'd hold out for more money on Sunday shows Why they go. You may more money than you said that our deal was right. I'm not doing this and I shall tell him I want to go home and they, wouldn't you know sunday shows just fuckin slam packed yeah, that's man, If you sell on sunday leg

it's always, I think, I think her J, more say at once. It's like, if you post a photo of your show of the early show on saturday sold out like a solid it out. It's like yeah. Of course he did it's your it's yearly show and that's the other thing is there is a difference between selling out and letting them paper room that I found that out very quickly, you're right. You can hear that you shit things are falling all over this. Come on in rio. John, have wrought everybody. Did you hear that land, fucking going down. We we I hear in, and the apocalypse is going on around us and John hepburn just showed up. So we we were supposed to meet at a certain time, maybe a little guys getting just try to bring the pie for africa. What what is a two one, six to ten okay, four minutes, late, half run. I got a lot. I went over for

regarded as a technical penned in in his power It usually see that yeah going about it yet Show that to me, when we are now at show together, I never not have it. I think a pandemic. Now my secret is revealed. What can you do that? You said that if you like the pan, then you can write things if you're right, Ok, I don't, however, my word, is the guy in the format take a crap. I think why throw that joke away that if you feel the end of it, it's not sharp. It's just

it's enough if you're doing like helium in philly, and you gotta walk three blocks to your hotel. I've been married just enough to maybe get you out of trouble for just like two seconds: roll, your sleeves down, so no one sees the watch away, so I don't have to bring that wine opener thing and put that in between cars that no cars there, because then it looks like you, your wolverine, after a fight with magneto and he just kind of girl. I know and remember everyone just went okay now we know who the nerd is in the road. That's me, I'm the one with the technical pain. Yet I I'm obsessed with johns. I'm obsessed with you're sort of doomsday pregnant yeah yeah, it's getting even more sure the borderline yeah certain to the point My wife even said something it yeah yeah. So now it's not just a hobby. Now it's more of a lifestyle hold on hold on hold on I'm going to matter

fucking crazy right now, my collection of fucking. Now, in case some breaks up my gave about drinking. I have knives hidden everywhere, my fuckin house, every where in my house, just so it like if someone fuck in burma is my house. I go yet slice up. Here's the thing. Ok, now having to be a bit of a nutshell by ok Well, you aims let's refer to any firearms as slingshots. Okay, just so I don't get myself in trouble. If we are going to be a prepper, I think it's important to be a silent, prepper and not tell everybody. After the thing. That's why I never tweet about look what I just bought. You just keep some of that stuff, because when when the shit does go down, you don't want everyone storming your castle, you don't want the whole neighbourhood. Kids, yeah yeah, so John's got slingshots, so

the guy's, but I do a lot of training with right who comes over to my house, and he shows we had a clear my house with some of my slingshot, the proper way to clear my house right. That's what you know that I just saw Jason Ellis is like taking. How do you his gun lessons or slingshot lessons. Yeah he's like how to fucking clear a room like walk it through da da da DA that there's an art in it. My buddy we're like come to this house and he'll, go because here if the video, at the end of the day, you're going to defend this house, you're going to somebody else's house with a gun, you're a murderer or you're breaking and entering the robber show your bad guy. But here you can defend here. We ve got it. We got gotta slingshot, but we have a safety onyx. We have kids, my like hitler idiots. So what if someone breaks into my house, they will hold on. Let me find the key and it looks like okay, it's now almost shot my phone and off with this gun. My wife's got hollow point bullets in them, so and so the biggest way they fucking

slowed and I had I bought the thing in in here for the lock and I put it on, but I put it on its postcode behind. the trigger. I put it on in front of the trigger, so I in front of the trigger which does not have and I'm holding the gun like like this and I'm like. Let me see if it works, so I go to pull it and I want to hold on, as pointed at my hand, and then I was like wait hold. On- oh my god, that's in front of it, that's inform the fucking. I was like. Oh my god, I would have shot my fucking handle. I would have just shot my fucking head off and I was like this is why you don't have fucking slingshot. Well, if you were to shower your hand off in front of a bad guy, then you just have to sell it and go what that even I haven't about no matter what I'm gonna. Do you suppose she might be called? That's the deal that witten win. Out crazy someone. Then they did.

it: did they realise that you're more now than they are, does I used to have a joke about yeah? That was, that was white boy. Fighting technique was too out crazy. Someone yet and black eyes. Fighting technique was to talk during the fight like a white guy talks for the fight to try a peacock, you right and then a black, eyed and say shit is silent. Motorbike I once one experience, he beat the shit out of bed. What back yours is slingshot there. There are saves them dairy, their biotech. We put your thumb: of that. I want that for my gun right, but here here if your sweaty if you're not here, sometimes those in work, but I got some that tab. I have like a book There are some revealing too much and I have to kill everybody. Listening, like you put the book by

the gun safe in the guns April open cause? There's a sensor o connell I've, a random, almost kind of that's what I want on category four like the back came later, can he's got the keys on the piano and then a door open. Yet I could have a kinder where my key, like it even close to my car like car lies, bears that back to your knife. Sexual minority was over we're clear my house and then I'm sure my wifi, because at the end of the day your wife right is You you have to wait upon why we put her body, use you human traffic, her pusher than that gets you out by that's what you're doing wife or whoever you live with is basically who you're gonna have to become mister and missus smith with nothing. I'd ever happens you with when you with your seven guys, leaving jujitsu or your seven bodies that I'll shoot it's right, your family right. It's your mean you're, with

your kids, all the time saying that are going to hit mcdonald's when the guys trying to rob you and you're like yeah, we'll hit mcdonald's. How many yes, yet it does wobbling that get not back to you guys. What do you want from us riots? All it's a whole thing, that's why we got a bull mastiff because she's a fuckin terrorist meaning it's. It's a jihadist if breaks in it goes her life there, my wife's than mine, so she ceased flat out oh shit, fuck eddie, you see it so you have. You have sling shots and knives and a boar mass. If you have german chapter knows why loan trains maturity, although you ought to rob me, come through my front door with a running vacuum in my dog I have, I have a cave, we gotta get. No more you the idea, you gonna pay as you go you, want some cheese. With that said in that german shepherds

Probably, if you say some commanded south korean does something you hate. I hated that you just flippantly said that, and I would put that in my act. I tweeted this and I didn't even mean for the kidnapper to walk with a running vacuum. My one of my shepherds, like what you have out of my way in me and my wife, have a pig like they're laying in a doorway. My wife will put her foot in like make them move out of the way she she's very alpha male. She doesn't like the dogs, you, nobody steps over. The dogs is kind of a weird thing, so my dog has given me a little bit of tude and her coat. You better check yourself before you yourself is the dog lunged at me? I'd even know that was like a managerial candidate. I'd even know that was such a society is to get pissed off with me. Can I tell you,

This morning I random rap lyrics, rigorous eight you're done, you might be races. Leak causes sweaty, already armeth chunk about my dog right now, but it's about how she's we've taken her to the hospital like fucking fifteen times, and but man I fuckin one of my favorite things in comedy, is when a guy gives a voice to an animal. It's never not funny. Richard pryor did you ever hear the bit about. He had a monkey and there was a dog that was trying to eat the monkey and the dog would go out. to richard all the time given here that their manner I could do it guess with phones these data by fairly easy to find yeah, but it was it such an, but I guess he died and then the dog jumped over the fence. The dog normally attack research prior, but the dogs,

hey rich, why he looks so sad. It's like I'm a monkey diagnosed. I was gonna eat that monkey mammal cheer up alright I'll, be chasing your ass tomorrow. Just a great, it's always yeah. It's always the voice that guys give animals is always just insane I'm too lazy. I get the like. I I read a bit and then I get excited about it in the bit and I don't and it works a little bit, but I don't flush it out. I don't fuckin yeah, I don't fuck. Do the busy work? Never do that. I gotta that's why things are two thousand seventeen is. Did you more busy work to do What just like I only right. Onstage lay as another thing, my art. So right this way at its I almost do you hate the fact you can't sit down and like I'm, going to write a good joke. Sit down just me my computer, I'm going to write a bit cause. I can't do that. I I all this is me off what I what I do? What did you lately is? I tried her like remit

things that I thought were funny in the past like like, but it was. far as a joke goes like I will be. I can sometimes beat it out, you get it The story of where I know that it needs to go but the end, but I have taken a state there's something about the panic onstage. That makes me why you were. If you're writing. I think this ain't, your computer, when you haven't coffee at starbucks, that's not there's nothing! On the. Why wouldn't you yoke right or if you like, you, aren't I liked it. That's not it's in a vacuum that you're like the rights, not a real, although I start enough it's about targets. How do I come? I did this. I was on a flight this guy, had sketchbook anyone sketches. A little bit of a flower and then turn the page and then he would draw like of airplane. Then he turned the pay. you need add to mountain and he did not like five times and then go back to the first sketch. Do one or two lines like and then flipped a page again. So

I I asked him I go. How do you use interesting? I go. How like you spend? I get. You only spend like ten twenty seconds on each picture. He goes that way. I don't start thinking Do it wrong at the first thing that comes to my mind, I start to do it and then that thoughts gone. I move on to the next one, so I went to the coffee place, whoever I some juice place unlike phoenix, and I just wrote one sentence first sentence, I came mine, I wrote I lie to every over driver and then I just circled it, and then I open up the next one app. that made real jobs. Obsolete I want to next one, and then I did that back and forth and an actually agitated the overdrive one actually turned into like a legit and I would write like why would I lie I about what job would I tell him and then move onto the next one? What apps? Don't you know, blah blah blah oop? Like you know the desert, not good jokes

but yeah back in my day used to have to have a roommate. I've round till after you got laid, you can just get new and left on your room around, don't be an ass. I brought the media in their soldiers it just kind of their extra on. I would then go back and turn it into something, but I'm gonna wait to come to me in a dreamer or something like that. At that point I wrote high one time: onstage boy that was difficult as fuck yeah, I got a high with aryan joe oh yeah than an end, especially your spoken there stuff and I gotta heads and I was like I was having really brilliant thoughts, but there are coming into to me in paragraph form like. I was like. I can express you what I'm thinking right, so I was like that's not, but for the most part, I just get on stage, and I can't surrounded have a cup of coffee yet, and I get on stage on an early show. Man

yeah! That's why I started recording all my sites cause. I was like why, when you record sets, I I have a great vet place that you you take your sat and then for Thirty bucks, the transcribed the entire our yet at nice printed out. What so I I think we were right to show a week. Yeah and I send them p three to them in about two days later. I get it all completely right now and I do that every week and I have folders, do I go back and look at it and see how I can edit it no, but I do have all the sets written out. I love how a lot of us are very busy to a point like no file. It is autumn yeah and then, when you read it on paper, you'll just see how unfunny everything is. Oh, that's horrible! That's always the most pain when you have to transcribe is set for life and for those you are in comedy oftentimes when you have to do a late night set or a tv show for lab, or they write out your set word for word what

you're going to say so they know about camera queues and, like you do that so like when you re out your set. You go all I'm an unfunded bastard like this data. It organised an accurate. I can take that to the next level when I did premium bland transcribe my set for me and then pat buckles sat with me. Yet in the green room in front of other comics and read my set allowed and asked where the laughs were going to be all she was like my name's burt. I know what you're thinking hot sexy name. Do you do porno? I don't is this? Are they laughing yet? I know yet Bert bird bird is, I laugh was like hopefully with anyone may arise. If there are other things go well, she did the same dignity, thorough and, I think tat would say, there's an I've taken. I have talked about this, the orbit of the two of us I had a better set whose pilot thirteen hundred people I fuckin crushed to

did on a scale of one to ten, probably for the law, Opponents of activities for when you watch it on tv, tig strewed murdered and I did I looked like a fuckin panicky frat boy whose what's up I was I didn't, and I was like. I really learned a lot after watching. Tig was like oh every, other t v said I've done. I was like don't worry about it. Just make sure that you say the words out loud and you say correctly yeah, you paste them correctly. You don't see those resolutely. You see like how much of your bits are you getting laughs just because of your personality? we army is called maniac, I think runs into. Is there I do a lot of like a lot of corporate events, have probably do more corporate events now than clubs. When you show I want an airport, if you don't like it, if you're, oh my god. I'm and have a by the example of who that people are really into that guy

persona and then, when they see him, they're gonna give him a lotta extra leeway, because it's him right are you take that away and all lock you and I throw you in front of a thousand people that have never heard of you rule which strictly your act has, They don't get. They don't care about your little funny, podcast that you did at one time you got drunk like decree. Don't care about your catch phrase. They don't know anything about you, so you have to like from that from the get go. I did a corporate in aspen fuckin a lot of money. it is also high on oxy high on volume the very beginning of what was soon to be a month on addiction to them.

good job for it. Only being a month, my wife killed it. So I was taking three a day with three volumes. I'm an hour two, so yeah thats. Why I'm late, I bombed so bad for this corporate I bombed and then halfway through there like a man, we just want you to tell the machine story and I was like ok, tell them. Since during the like are now, we just want a drink. What have you done and then they all went on party with them all night and that's all they want to do is drink and fuck in they want to party with one or two with yea and they want to be with you saw that persona and there that's. We want to hang with, don't give a shit about it. They like You you've done the goddamn comedy jam before I'm doing it again, yeah it's it's a great it's one of the best shows John. Have you done it yeah nah? I I the only thing social that other cool comics do like. Well, it's one of the

my favorite show to do it's unbelievable? Have you done the tv show you haven't done, the tv show I'm doing a tv show on the eleventh parliament, it's a lot more stressful than the yeah yeah, there's always fun as fuck. What's the show, while the show is you go out, you do stand up, and then you tell a story why you like a particular song and then you perform the song with with with a live band, and I have noticed that sometimes in Where did the show it at one particular? First of all, they give a shit about your stand there. Just like I get to the point where you think that's all well. That's all we wanted. That's the that's the different like I approached legged attacks, J Larson. I just realized I'm supposed to do crab feast tonight. And he has been texting me almost second. I the don't worry about it will find another date that works. I love you. and so, but I I approach the show differently, like I approach a show as much also I I've. Never I'm never going to do like material done that I don't know the concept of doing material. I don't get the I do.

worry about the song. I'm about to tell I try to tell a funny story. I'm, like oh there's, a new way to write material yeah so like I can just I'd. Rather I don't like to material at all. In l, a I like doing. Those new crowd shows, like crown work, shows how it was at the dear my walk. I love that fucking love that show yeah that Vienna, through the audience, just yells out a topic, and you just go back so much more fundamental and that is that this visa cast, I sell by rather either pretty big bit that I've done forever, where's. Basically I'm a skipper lot that I buy stuff on ambien, and then I do a think about that. Surprise amazon shopping yea. We might end up on what word growth through a list of wherever it, and then I talk about how I became an ordain minister and then from their as I'm doing musical references of eighty songs. I look at it.

young kid and go you don't know any of these. Now that I'm an ordained minister, I'm going to start a church where I'm just going to quote eighty songs and not the bible so I do this whole thing go in and you may ask yourself whether by beautiful house, where you can never be too shy. Shy, hush, hush ottawa, like I just scholars hungry but buddy. So what if I shot my special, I would start with dearly beloved cap prince dice. Ok, so now is a priori knows that I did, and then everybody was doing that. So Michael kid, that's almost even happy. Now even I've done it for a while. I have to find a new thing for a tissue to special So then I have another beer. Where I talk about getting these jugular keys. These these car keys that get you in any car bill prior to nineteen. Ninety five and the joke is you know in case. I want to play cassettes and then I

when the thing I just want to get in the car is put in a cassette solemnly turn it on these. Here too, to bug an end use. I make the news. The careless whisper struck again last night, the siege of the shoulders was struck later. If somebody also in the first point, I told you about the prince- died in some somebody else. One of the bans that I die. So I shall My special and I looked at the guy a shot with I go. I just need The special d get out before George Michael's dies. But specials not out yet

appetizers. I love this. Do you have any? Do you call anyone a scruffy, looking nerf herder in your special too too soon, so I was devil, so I texted my buddy Matt right and I go well that happened before my special was released right. He responds back. Oh man, dude. I don't think it's two thousand and sixteen fault it's your joke. They will write a horror movie about that joke. One day everything I put into that joke passes so now my guess who yeah? Who else did you write about transit layer? Should we be on a chat, show that was hilarious, yeah there's a lot of deaths right at the buzzer this year. They they are. I just feel It has you know days I got on. I got on facebook and I saw a comedian that we all know party pretty hard, and I saw this picture and I was like. Oh my god. Let him do that

De, as am I, The first week of january worry me dates applied, while everyone still listening out offers. We I mean I'm gonna calgary man. Are you really january? Do you fucking love it yuk yuk, see I gotta when you don't want fuck, I load hotel room of the great less diagonal first and then salt lake city utah. Why I love. I never planned on going to clubs where every once in a while, I get like a new club you're like what yeah I can do greatest hits, and nobody on the san antonio san antonio last is that it ll comedy club aloe vera, I'm there for new years. This is too it's too late, probably about a posting this today, okay growing up today, I'm there I'm there for the oxnard new years, where you new years again nyack. Are you really yep love the lab I was in oxnard last week before christmas.

Enjoy the three and a half hour, fifty mile, dr judge, what took me every day, but it was also rights for too long area in its drive. It's it's! It's the hollow angry. When you get to the green room, you're angry, its hollywood irvine drive in reverse like no one ever leaves hollywood early enough to you to the airline improv leave. It lies right, you're in getting there at seven thirty, five I I. I love the fact that we are with us your limit further out to me, but the air of in a day to turn that now we're like that. I set out to changes. For example, if team the really sorry is oxnard north. You got that you go to the fifth. Dean, and then you go down the fifteen for like a second get up a fourth street and right there.

It says it's only like fifty six miles. Good luck yet three hours and on new year's eve, save every phone call for anybody. Don't even talk to anybody until you hit that drive. That's what pisses me off anthony getting disbanded. I used to love listening to replace those four hours yeah and you could get on the car of your time to write and listen to the replay. When you wrote radios the but shows anymore, that, like all done, They never tell me you're a morning radio show now in a city. I just look at them and go well guys problems next year here, I still go once they're still good ones like few of the promised six years ago. Like am I doing twenty five radio, I'm going to I'm doing eight hours oppress, performed my shows and now, like you, do denver comedy works you're like I'm up at five, a m and I get on a one- does a crazy now there's like here we have

I am sports talk kind of a podcast. You know anything about cooking. I I remember when Uke I remember, brenner were talking about this before you got here. I dunno did you do I don't, I think brad, nor my experience experience play different than yours. Will you doing road before last comic standing? Oh yeah, like doing like, like like twelve hundred bucks a night funnybone and improves, I would it's doing. Let's see if you go way back, then I was probably don't two hundred colleges a year I forgot, I miss that fucking beignet was like me as all those college kids not become corporate people of like hey that guy still around. Let's have them do our thing, yeah yeah, so I was doing, but then I I also did morning radio in Detroit, I got with anybody and then I got offered at gig for more money than I ever saw my life some like. Why would I not to radio so then I went back to detroit. Did radio for

five or six years and then came back to l, a with a little bit of cash and a little bit more confidence and then, like last comic and all that type of stuff. I remember I remember going to like places like toledo and you do good radio and you'd sell out the weekend gap, and that does not exist anymore. That doesn't cause those in toledo and they woke me up early to do a country station, where I did you ready for this, a seven minute break and that's it. and then he didn't like me, like I was try to muslim d like me throughout it yeah I dont want once when I was on for I'm not kidding you. Ninety seconds point we're John, however, that the euro would and then I thought I swore because the theme park Yes, now is, when I used to do radio use new not to soar, but now let's do podcasting, you can kind of swear so that muscle of not swearing is weakened. So I could have sworn I am like. I must have swore by accident. You stormy often, then I get done

Swear he no we've done research and people don't want interviews that last more than like a minute and a half or so like, really because people listen to rogan podcast for thirteen hours straight yeah. That's what it says on the internet where people do not listen to it. Oh my god! I guess you guys didn't find anything you liked right. So I can knock. You want to drive to the bank like it's. My favorite is at the one in in florida. I saw those guys poland, young run that that day, retired there were already or when we go at once, and then the one that we were wide ass coward mike come out. I had the fund is usually give you re. Really cares hereby worse thing, I hate when radio guys do Are you a register worthy set you up nice just wouldn't want to do what we do. I'm gonna I'm gonna set this up nice and then you go. I do, but I just got engaged say: hey, are you married? Are you engaged and then you start,

and then the news chick? Oh, I just got a gauge. That's not going to happen like you'd like or a lab work. Can people expect tonight, and that makes me now is my right casually oak. What's a comedy show, so laughing. I don't know yet. Let's lebanon are measured age. I don't know what I'm saying that let's go through a name or favour radio stations and try not to leave anyone out o guys. You know your door, don't fuck in haiti However, Why was out? Came my memories mean number one for me is right here. In l, a the kevin and bean show like oh yeah, I've, never I've. I've called in I've never been on love those guys. I think they still sell tickets. So it really is awesome of park banned. Why didn't you care what they probably plan? Oxnard yeah, very, very little name, I'm in a name a place and you will go through and see. If fuck you phone,

I would do that. Do that I would go bothered Tom years ago, because now that I just haven't done it in years and years online and bob's gone here They ran a barber tom, so fifteen twenty years ago me in I created a card game for a battle. at parties cause of that guy game? Yeah, I remember hearing it was every card was a different type of guy you'd, see out at the bar and you'd pass out the cars, and then you'd have to find the sweaty dancer guy too old, to be their guy one shot. It was like a scholarship to find god, that's fucking brilliant, so we were Install magazine glamour magazine did a whole big thing. I could do barrymore Julia roberts were like take take so much what is it I'm playing this game at this bar kaduna, so we're in our early twenties. So we don't know how any of this business works were like we just made game, we'd even know how so I gone by. And tom- and this is

Free internet were orders on internet taking credit card was like kind of pain in the ass. It wasn't. Even I may, which are like nine view too. yeah. That's what you are like, literally filling out forms by hand. Yes yeah! I I did their show yeah. We brought up the game and- and he was like this- is the thing we sold no joke from his show. I think it was close to thirty thousand deaths. Or something from vietnam hitched on that show. I got my body who lived in a way he would ve had a thing set upon his fallen where he get like email like at the end of every time we got to sail. It is like three back in the morning here in this- was blown up like what's the deal the column, I go dude wake up, but there were package they were sitting in the apartment and with filling out you know by him and could we even how to get the computer yeah yeah yeah? now, my power, radio, backed and now that the power of podcasting I had the same experience with doing wrong.

in the podcast. When I released me machine shirt and my wife, an email, her bone dinged. Every time she got an email from are store, the so So we sort of sale and it I remember a weird moment. We were sitting there and I just got back and the like We we sold ten thousand dollars worth of shirts. This is in the three hours. I did this podcast and uh wow. Are you serious because yeah listen this and she turns right, ringer back on it just going didn't me me me me me me me, I'm on my bucks holy shit. We made so much money off those shirts that, for I mean those sorts of fuck, funded our house. That's amazing, but yeah. Those are radio. Radio isn't it is in some markets like philly d c, Yet even its presidency, the incredibly deeper fucking grow monsters, who's, the guy in north army man. I forgot he's like in cash.

The city no one really well he's like a pike. Your dear oh johnny, dare Johnny their johnny dare yeah johnny. There he's very. I think I've been a kansas city, years as you go, I think he has only has dogs in the studio reopen how to get you haven't worked out for you. I'd always scary, because the dogs are large. That's where you have to do like material. Won't like you literally like they comics he likes you're literally doing is set kind of yeah. which I am not a fan of you. It's got to the point now were I have a radio set like I always Johnny there, yet you propose like and then you have to go along with its blocking yoked sue piano deleted out army data collected by its now MIKE what you might call a coward, but with us that might the chef seventeen years, maybe so? I went in to embrace

I was there and I go in like an extra day. I fear was on thursday and I went back the next day, a browser we had one. Funniest radio thing we talked about the same subject for hungary, talk about through two hours, two hours, at least we didn't take one commercial breaks. It was one of those things where every he's the best it was the funniest layer and the protocol on the private we can ever recreated I'll get it. It was definitely is a moment. Somebody was robbed, and I and I looked at brown- I go. You dont want as a little person. Here's what I would do. They were talking of safe rooms, raved life as head of another. You don't need a safe from you could get like a big stuffed bear

and if your alarm goes off, you just climb into the bear they're, never going to walk by think you're, better off the animal that you just that we should market safety bears for the little people as they can save up. Yeah safety bears or kids like hey. If, if, if, if there's something that goes on, you hop in safety barrier I give a fuck. This john have so many fun ideas. You literally are the most idea. Having do you remember, we said it below through as she realized I was talent. I was telling brown we were set at the airport bar in an era in american airlines back when Carl was alive, oh and MIA, newer, just bullshit and- and you had one hundred fucking ideas. He pitched me an idea that was, the song, but it was like it was. I have some idea, but it is based on the song that became that went viral. What that guy on the wing suit, don't screw, so

er DU da da da da da da da da da da DA, and he was telling me this- is a great song. You gotta hear the song. We should do a video where we're coming out when I was like I was like I was like I got so much and then literally three days later, a month later, I see this same song used in everything and I'm, like god, dammit heifer, and there is so so then that bear suit came to them. we did? we're going to do a movie like a jason bourne with brad Evan in the deal is reduced pause yea I hold on a second leukemia. Second guy. We Are you going lobby I can see a story that dad you're gone now. Did you How did you uncovered and check them out on twitter after I have very good john hepburn dot com- ave special, that's probably never coming out, even though I shot it a few years ago

I shot at the same time. You guys all show yours, and the chilly it. It's funny. Ben Ben glebe record the special the same night. I recorded my first one and I these two second special before his first one came out can I just got shelled for so long, but then eventually came out it's nuts yeah, I don't know I try not to get jealous. I try not to leave my wife light. Like I had a thing, I don't reveal laurie. I know my under its managers, where with my special work bird only negotiating to see what happens to it, but in the meantime we are talking about we talking about where our specials we're goin. Now so you shot you're special at the same place, I shot mind like a week before me years had been out.

AL in hilarious. I watched it the other day forever. Mine is on the hard drive of my computer. If anybody would like to come over, I'm charging ten thousand dollars of my wife will make a nice curry right and I can watch it on my computer. Take a tactical where I've always been a positive comic. I never get get shitty with anybody or anybody's careers there's. It has nothing to do with me, blah blah blah blah, but every week that is our goal of it I see I see so somebody else came through and am I wasn't. working sound at the last comedy club with that, and now he's got his money. I still am. I ever been hard drive. As the hard part is why like, when you like their end, you know, sometimes is just it's like it's like with hot. You know like I get it like I go to when I I I, I think I'll ever go to montreal again. Like Montreal, for me, is just it is a is a fucking

Well of worry, not a new face, a whirlwind dude I was getting out of the fucking elevator one time and I said to someone. So what kind of montreal know everyone remember when I came here when I was younger and I didn't know anyone and some of those yet because you're old and I went That makes it a lot less fund so that I turned it s. Like you see this young kid he's got all the heat and you're like. and clearly the guy. The kid can't do more than twenty minutes anyway, and he's had a couple of good sets in his life, but everyone's around him and then I end up sitting in the corner with fuckin ralph in aryan fucking on cigarette smoking pot. way too drunk and bloated? And then I don't look like I'm marketable. This birth got a drinking problem and someone says he's the next one to have a stroke. But then all you do is you pull out your phone and you do that hilarious bit where you read an ironic text or facebook post from somebody and then your alternative that's how I dont get

caught up in it. I don't get caught up in that too much. It's hard. Nice of you really are not to be the best thing for me. In all, honesty was Tom segura blowing up like he did well yeah cause. Now you have the thomas fat burners know what the week that ends in a week or I dunno. If it's going to end, What to watch him about blow these two hundred theatre tournelle see him blow up like that. I don't know, was. It was a mom. like me him- a voice talk about money like good boys, told each other, just one of them. You heard me we're talking about exact downloads, on what we are about gas, but we believe in transparency? We believe that only helps the two of us to know what getting fucked money is and what good money is yeah cause. There's a lot of clubs we'll go in and they'll be like a flat rate. for ten grand or somethin vat rate fifteen grand arguably bonuses and sell out of this, not man you're, like a n, you got

the people are singing and also goes out of fifteen hundred, because out of three hundred and lay them grow, you lookin at every comic. Have I? U funnybone guys make it ten grand, but also on the fifteen hundred notes, are thousand when no bonuses put first surfaces, there's a youtube star comes in making thirty to get me. Dude ok, I'm gonna be listening to you, but I am also going to pull a video. So I'm time not not, I listen to you. I was in Chicago. I think this is, I think everything blends in one story for me cargo and they had an afternoon show tat. It was a youtube start. I've already story a hundred dollars. It took it out this exact same story. I video of this story, for you seriously up our two hundred out again, then he has very p meat in greece, the tickets that were a hundred and twenty five.

are the kids, nice listen again joan I and you hear hear someone is what I can buy. Ambering not interrupt you, but here's. What I think is happening with that new, the youtube comics, is we of us guys. The guys who have action would have been around. We might be the taxi drivers and their the lift. The number and weaken but despite this we're going to lose the second The improves and in other things, know that those guys fill a room in I'd say we can't in looking at me by policy you guys we're done There is a weird thing about that. I dont fault. We cannot. I don't want the comic club owners because there businesses, are, you sure you know the money. So I, show at seven disease as a show it to resistance cargo. I decided to acknowledge cargo by the way. I'm sorry this was

a story and not my story. I think you told me the story now: I'm retailing it as if it happened to me, that's a room full of people going. Eight shit is walking out onstage, that's out at a hundred dollars, a ticket, hundred twenty five for a meet and greet he had sweaters that were forty five dollars each year. Everyone those kids you saw screaming. I got my first wetter who working with them week. He was on stage for ten minutes fifteen at the most really, came out there have been a once called. Is that on the cell phone said happy birthday, just buddy and left

That would show that we have done that on wednesdays, heavily down my fucking set out before they do you up. There is another hour by deleting it do now. Do you think it just because the people that are going to these shows like the young, kids, london yeah, do you think it's just? They don't know that there's an hour. no noticeable like the day care builder like what favorite entertainers spoken out there for an hour and ninety We for our bitter dating billy- I mean there. Are they just used to consuming these guys in one and a half two minute videos like, while fifteen that's the deal well, let's have largely let's work this backwards started it started with when, when when television started disappearing and guys a tv shows needed to pay, it pay their mortgage and they got it to stand up, and that was the beginning.

the fuck in of the of the tide yeah now What's this, I dont think these kids, stand that there are people we did one min theo VON and that's all I can remember about this experience, but we did a show with a guy named fussy tube. Do you know who he is no, but we all have one of these stories, but I'll tell you about when I did the celebrity theatre which the huge theatre in Phoenix arizona sold it. With me and ralphie may what a great show power line up just to killers back to back we're like fuck yea sold it and you won over there. The next night miranda sings doing four shows all out. Do you wanna put from random but things as per the idea that we did the just for last northwest festival, and I did I did a theater, but not a big feet, or maybe

three hundred four hundred seats, six hundred tops and- and I was really feeling my oats- I was like nice man- I can come drawn on the parent packs of people and that's great and the- and I talked to the ladies in charge. Do the festivals, the directors of the festival and I and they're they're, not they're, not around, but my show I see them later, and I said where were you guys and they said we were selling merch for miranda sings, and I said you guys saw merton they're like that's what we said at first, but then she said: she'd give us ten present and we both walked away with, like seven grand and I went are you sure bingley sold out arena and sold like a hundred grand and more? I mean just fucking We say one dresses are misguided. Policy, too, are being serious men like I've heard of I remember when last extending Came out because I we I done I didn't ask him ascending to believing it to the house, but I ended up touring with

harry gorman, J Larsson alonzo boatmen, never torpid, law alone, taylor, in December we hadn t London, which is at an end first, the power I had ever experience celebrity when I did the first episode. I did right talked about having a kid. I was any airport the. I guess it is an economic wednesdays. I was in the airport thursday flying to miami and thirteen and people watch that I got recognised by everyone by everyone. It doesn't hold handle to what we saw happen with this guy fuzzy tube kids were, breaking down doors to look at him like they wanted to steal a picture? I did a meat and greed for fucking I'll say it. I thought that was nice of shit, so did Theo, you weren't a dick and he exists in may very quickly why he was famous whose, like I was fat, I lost weight. With drug addiction, I, I talked about my thing. I post every single fuckin day and that will guide me fame and I was like, and he

battle stage it. Why wasn't? I pay money to see it, but like war that that guy We that I just showed you here, zero act and citizen may go if you making them much bank. Why would you not just paid some. U somebody to listen! I need thirty minutes. They arrived me. Thirty, two, the you have the club honor. He goes just didn't, give a shit yeah. Why would he pay or even memorize stuff, when you don't have to? Is there a point where they're going to go? The emperor has no clothes, I mean, like those girls become fourteen, and you don't like the things that you, like buyer, like cars or I or our business. We gotta agree there is that moment, because all the guys I used to be olympus, get fan think of it all there you like about what to do again. Let me listen what you like going to kid rock now, and here they are only a little. You know what happened today, maintain was avert retain at an act and he was hilarious, but he was

version of that of celebrity before comedy. Like people were more impressed with going, to the garden and seeing dane cook not for the material I will I enjoy this material, I enjoyed a stand up like a but but sudden. Everyone turned on him and they were like like there is fickleness of this, the celebrity is that people turn on you and yo without it I get to appoint. I think you tube is still knew enough, and the parents don't know about it yet and they're not into it once it once it starts getting a little more mainstream, and once once now this generation- that's in it gets older, and now you have twenty five year olds. Why didn't you you bet your old subject matter, though, like to like you age out of wanting to like here again, not anything about any other comic. Whatever. I saw, but but we'll talk about it like

I could ever see me be an unsafe from forty five minutes gone part where it is another thing like I get that that's a bit but do serve those eighteen nineteen year old, then get twenty five and go yet we get it. Do you use walcott ever going to talk about a for forty five minutes and then you it but also run the risk. I've always talked about. What's going on in my life, I have bits where, arguing with my wife, about where we're going to be buried, it's literally probate material and how I don't want to be buried in her hometown, because I don't know anybody. So it's literally like so I you're twenty something you're. Looking at me going seriously. You cannot be talking about something further away from my life right, oh yeah. I guess I dunno. I don't! I don't know because you did that bit. I'm like yeah. That's a that's an argument. I have right now. I don't want to be buried in my wife's hometown, where nowhere, I want to be bare, see

we buried in my back yard. You do that you can bear where we want you bury where we all need to be. You could put a party in a fuckin catapult and just We have heard, and I mean the groundwork goddesses depressing me talking about burying at that I understand why you who told you wouldn't like that bit by bit or them then what's the like? What's the natural maturation like what like what did louis and build do correctly. They got kids and grown ups like them. There age, listen, the santa bill. Bur will be ever be sixty and in twenty year olds will still like, like my man, You're always brings us up, he goes there. You had carlin and Robert Klein both equally funny robert klein, the order he got. Just talked about what's going on his life, so eventually, so I got a call, an aspect I gotta and show you. You're gonna lose that twenty to forty year olds, all russia, carla. Stayed like

He said, if you're my big thing, I met you too much about my age, so this year, I'm like an even mentioning it. I'm indeterminate try to be a twist on an old. I was yesterday. There were thirty one in there like. I thought you were thirty three and I was like. I don't know how you fucking saw that, so I think that's why they are just have to stay relative and stay funny to always be talking about stuff, that's relevant, although it would be cool like I don't want to. I like I liked doing clubs now party, and I like having a good time. I love that aspect, but would be called alike. come like a sweater wearing storyteller who sits on it, this is because I have a tale to tell you live here. Divide is my plan. I'm above fifteen twenty years away from branson Missouri shows not a bad gig. So but I'll, be in my sixties and they'll be of older people age without always performed for will be funded.

So I can use my same references distinct getting through my fifties might be the tough part because that's what the transition starts to habitats, no one's looking for a fifty five euro that second show friday. Everybody I dunno too many. Fifty five rosa can do that can do a second with rogan rogen will almost fifty. almost fifty but put out there like a rather vague, but they have those do they. Champions of those younger people Do you mean like they have a? They have an army and their great

on top of that, doesn't have an army of italian soccer crack this party, you know so that I am is busy with their life. So that's why I've always and I'm periscopes has everybody my age as if the knob that are working at seventy eyes, a we will enshrine a cell and then there are becomes a strange balance when you get to a certain age, and then you you hear about whatever the new trend is whatever you, for instance, save parents say periscope: do you want to be He saw a little late to the party, and now you can go you're right. I'm looking at the new instagram timeline tea. They part you do not yet have circumvent the videos you do with your weight loss thing, just whatever our hilarious thinks. So I'm always like. Ok, I gotta start doing more, will alike. I'll. Tell you I think money just lay hey here's some funding by the way I'm performing at blank but but

I look at a lot of these in gather up all of the my female comic friends. I don't have a little dog that I can take pictures with have you got a lies opposed to the personal eliza. Like other lives, those takes her. I think she was drunk and her boyfriend- I guess- is videotaping hours on instagram me was like he's like their foot a rice, krispies streets and then a pen she's in her underwear and I was like toby watching this five more times, yeah but yeah. I know what you're saying I don't get lost in that I'm forty. They can forty six number back and it takes. I mean I put on yoga pants and has now taken page I'd what I'd fuckin laugh hysterically toyota eat. I I was seen by doing this light like going to eliza, who I love, and I we ran in that case too. I dont know supporting our view funny that that working is also funding for it.

Yeah yeah, so I thought I was just whatever picture they took without telling them yeah. I was just going to say, taking the exact same picture? Someone be due to the punch? Have you seen that girl who recreate a famous other all of other she recruits I think all the kardashian pictures and they're fucking hilarious, nice. I I fuckin, I don't know who she is or promoter but yeah, but see that's what she does to the kardashians you you could do that for hot female comics like, me when I say that austrian I say, and I and I love cape before speak for eliza, but I know Kate, still very young comedy she would trade she would trade. all she hustles she bus or finance, but she would love to have the fuckin wealth material. You have that she's more comic like she's, not Just a promotional she's wants to be a great comic. His eye to eye we always look at I read. I was watching negative ferris podcast

it is generally in the general said to be successful. You have to look at three pairs in your same business, one. That is all more than you have is accomplished everything you want tioga and you can mimic india, you kind of like stalk them, not creepy way, budget, figure out. What are they doing that somebody who you're at the same level, then somebody who's new to your business or new to whatever you do, that has a fresh outlook, and you cannot go cable. What Are they doing? You take a look because Elijah eliza, who again I'm mean decker workshop,

now, just like I'm sure, lazy like at least when I'm home on a monday and tuesday, because I know I'm leaving ones. Data began to Monday and not leave in my house for nothing. That's tat makes me how do you set monday or choose I'm so impressed? I said to them. I can't I'm not driving over the hill in front of me. I said to my therapist or my biggest biggest goals, this path, without sixteen yeah. it's been a goal for a very long time. There's gonna sell really cheesy, but was too I paid regular at the store was wanted that I'd always wide. Never I am there. I never, their animals are then, and I now none of us are then no. I just came one over this year and I am but I said to my therapist so what is the paid regular mean? I go to someone that works at the store and he goes well. You know that means. Then I said what- and he goes it means you actually have to work at the store.

You have to go and work at the store. If you want to work at the store. That means you gotta work at the store yep he's like, so I know that you don't want to go to sets at night. You want to stay home with your family if you're on the road, but if you want, is of gold, and you need to go. Do this, and so I said to myself: fuck it every tuesday night, I go to a set of the store. I leave wednesday I'm gone through they Friday Saturday? I come home Sunday. Aren't you sunday should quit on sundays, because it ideas to ideas like factor come on. We with your family and I was I get it I was like. I want to drop them off at school. On monday, I want to come home monday fucking hammer. If you don't want to answer because around podcast character, did they prorate you for that sunday, but it's worth it in my opinion, yeah just for your sanity activities, because a lot of time was at last. She asked you I'm home. I leave tomorrow, I'm home one monday, I'm home on a monday, I dont know what we need is for the next two months to live upon

angel corporates and then I flying in anyone's eighty two thirds. They present sunday show out monday and eventually This is what we all know other sense for us guys we just old and nobody gives a shit about us yeah. That's the end of the day like look at you, go to a common club and get all in all of the headliners is. I know, there's a very small percentage that what that war always transfer of power. That percentage gets. Some All the smaller, like, maybe I'm, being to take about think in this way the older you're gonna have to go. What's my, how do I backwards engineer this heading create that you guys have your podcast, I'm such a dumb ass. I started you wanna podcast years and years ago. With this doctor we choose a shrink. It was awesome, podcast Well, my laziness didn't feel like driving to battle. Air huge manson and then I saw doth reap and then kind of. Why do some stuff and, unlike like, not and then

so one with my wife is, unlike you know what she's here, I don't have to get it. That's what that guy wife had some of the biggest blow out pre podcast, because she would you want to hear the story. Somebody tell I would go now. Did this talent I mean yeah, I all we act was that how you going to know what to say hey! This is what I do. well. The thing I got a pre got: what is it's chelsea handler gotta, listen to all the dumb shit before I talk about it, so maybe so that we just stopped doing up. I I released five of them, so Then you have to just be disciplined enough to where you stay. You stay. with it, because it's gotta be successful right at first, then you have to build that already. Just like you do with your stand up long idle and because You also know what you had to do to build that areas through stand up how do I do that again. Have not you gotta get this podcast just

this past year. Has gotten successful. It was always boys, but around, and it's always got like mediocre and I mean gradually pretty good night. Four pod gas but mediocre numbers compared we speaking and then I started being very focused and caring about with upon ass. I do I don't I won't be with on on with you appeal them. me giggle, like that's it, and I think that, and I and I've been watching it, and I know for a fact that we have to people on my part as numbers double, because people go Oh shit, there's better energy. When there's three people that yeah it is as a one on one. It's it's it's one thing: it's always better. If we drink I'm in this fucking weight loss challenge, so not drinking right now, but it's always better when we drink but but like, and then you start trying to like you know I had a really great meeting today with with Alan bill, and anthony and aryan tommy, segura and I am we're talking about where the future of our of our of our Careers are going and it's a little like, unlike us summit

the we have. We are the board of directors, I guess technic for all things comedy for the network, the first second and stop? Don't I guess it's fucking, on my would the self inflicted by the then that nobody feels outputs result. I got to say you're lucky you ve got an hour of content. You got an hour of fucking, you gotta movie, you're our see, I'm I'm starting to think apparently albums eight years without my computer, I too albums and is our space. That I shouted irvine like I kind of like myself. So when upon showtime and then ITALY went up on youtube and that everyone's like to get him to take it down, and I was like no fucking put it up. want people to see it. people here. I've done a lot research, more people We discover comics now, whatever through Pandora, part of this talk, I guess part of pandora amp,

you did you sign up for that year. Why did I not- and you do not so you go to Pandora amp and then find it in basically what you do, as you claim your name, you claim you are moving too fast. Okay, I'm releasing this today. I need to do this now, if someone's going to bargain what is it an app know? You have go to Pandora minutes you. Nobody can. You know nor can claim. You know that we claim you, as is the thing, but I shall bob What it does is what you get certified, then you get go the back into and door and you'll see every station that has ever built with you. When he plays on Pandora, so I have in I'm not even sparkling platform yeah, I'm not even a high tech comic, but I have my myself has been played, eighty nine million times and the thing but the money you make from that and then slowly put the gun in your mouth and click it. And then this I'd live another day, but when you have pegre ep now

can send messages to anybody listening to your stations that are fifteen seconds long. So I'll go on a pandora amphora, go heavy everybody in performing and west act, and then I can target people in new york listening to my pandora station, can, I say they doing that with I tried to shoot, promo videos for towards aids coming up so that development from Boston I'll put it up. Then I I target market it that's really sad, that's because, like I put some effort, no, a video value that exact numbers of like people because I'm doing the wilbur theatre january, twenty first yeah wilber, then, and while it's not tracking well with sales, so yeah, I think it'll sell out, but it has been like, but it bums me out when I've stopped paying attention. What was that day january twenty first, and so I did a facebook video and I paid this company thirty bucks to fuckin target market it- and this is only people watched. It.

as of right now well as much about drum roll, two thousand and four, but like that's up that's on that's it for facebook is just people in Boston. They can see it like. Do you remember when you just had to be funny How would you like to have been a comic in I? A hundred years ago I had an eight hundred number back in the eighties, where you could call it and then I had a recording here, I've never been formally disorder. Community college on genuine, like called the island. I would send postcards to people I almost almost thought about getting a getting a one: nine, seven, six number like a dyke what, if I sense a minute and so have you If your hammer, you wanted to talk to bert call- and I answer and I talk to you- I host your credit card. I have a body that is never thought I am he's got

the service where you get paid for people text you and you can have conversations. Then they pay for a lot of porn stars. Have it pretty much market like pornstars? Do that is so fucking smart with marketing comics can have a wish list on amazon started to get everything paid for for themselves. Why can't we say we want new yoga pants or something that is true kind of bullshit yeah. We do the same thing it's funny because- and I want to I want for everyone listening who's like you guys are complaining about your lives. While I go to the core might yet we know our lives dont suck about beautiful life, I'm very happy! It's amazing! but you don't have to fear, but we have a it's a job, I knocked the art needs a murmur, but there are still stop to figure out who still have to treat it like a business or you just that's our saint mary fewer guys like in the east. You did evening at the improv,

and you d shored up at a club you and charges zero, but you weren't I'd rather have and I was unable to provide the child? I am was that was what you started them here. I feel like the year that it'll shut down to eighty nine. Did you close it down? Have you been to a comedy since eighty nine yeah, all it's going to all my guys you have? I was born in eighty four, the fuck. Ninety nine like I, I started to stand up in night teen. Ninety nine Do you know you have more successful pod catches specials on so that I might do you know what gave it you know at the well born theatre january, twenty third and just then No, I wouldn't I I think. Oh man, I fight hard. For to put this in perspective, but I don't I

This is gonna, sell weird, but I I think I do this, I don't I wouldn't say I would trade everything of where I am because I don't think I'm somewhere big, but I'll tell you. I remember the day I did not make an almost comic standing and I've. Never felt a lower low in my life, and I remember I'm remember. I having georgia, who I love dearly for we're going to give store in that fuckin hotel and then a little duck someone was like a what do. Not you not limit, in the house or the next round, but at least a baby and I'm a real icu as far who was a baby? Now I'm a failure- and I have now, can I go? I guess I'll. Just fuckin get this done for this baby, and I was just so bum doubt is. I was like I'm afraid you're, I'm a fucking failure. I didn't know. I didn't have that because I never lost son last comic but yeah. Here's! Here's! Where are I the lowest salary data with me in redwood junior? ro who right

what do you want with flour, while you guys the daily sit over there s were gathered. I just had royal my blog. We we were near him together, got the law. Score in star search history like so you get fives fires is the is the thing Roy got three and I got a three people gave me zeros right. So there was a person in Iraq. Guy was that more than you and avoid over her be to k. I think there was a group back in the why not one of them judge that an end the one zapper around about over the financial aid. So we got the worse score and bet and, like Y know, to judge one of the judge not to go. Look him and the other goes. If I

tomatoes I will throw matthew and I remember one tvs tv and I go These first take you ve had in holland, so right. So then the comic the added that part outsource it at me and worry. Would we go to some. It was at that the fox the high under or something like that getting so drunk with him, and we will we thought our careers rover like we're done. We, aided and stars so terribly bad, as that that was like one of my low I saw the first tv shows on that got cancelled my second tonight. I kind of aided a to I've, eaten it on a lot of sets legal, an employee sets level have only had a handful of like I'm really good. Like seven minute comic now ida do chores youtube stories. And you need a web browser

minister de people most in need to do like. I know it's good to do current stuff, but I was thinking man you could do. You could do if the tonight show every day you know every other day. I don't think it's who puts in the seats anymore. It doesn't have what it does it, it's more of like just serve an industry. Credit just say like I've been on the tonight show. I don't think I well. I think the tonight show has changed unless you do I'm using pre We have read bland and evening at the improv. Back, as my credit, I mean I can't help it. I talked to toxic or about in his like. I was like they wanted me to do conan and skirt A very carefully were like will only work if you do conan and you tell the fighting a bare story with alive there. That's the way people is attentions are rife. They see a man fighting alive, bear telling a story there like. What's this, he added. To see a guy stand in their holding a mike there like whose, as I said to them, I was like

I don't know I'm just doing stand up on television workers, I mean you have fallen playing playing tick tactile with paint man Yeah, like that's, gonna, get more hits than yours. They end up as an fuckin james corbians, corporal karaoke, you ve got the big stars in the world singing their songs with another dude german in the car yep yeah I mean I like. I don't know if you're walking out there just to talk. People are like right. This guy's just going to speak words crack eggs on his head were throwing stuff at them right, yeah, the bit where he did did stand up with meat on his feet,

in the hot coals. Yeah you gotta do something like that to get to get eyeballs idea, yeah so guys my name Brian chrysler, and I understand that no one likes just straight comedy anymore. So I've given everyone pellet guns. I will be doing myself when you guys all have pelicans here we go. I think J chris Newberg do you know yeah. He did as a college show where the data tweet wall behind them and we, while he was on stage- and he said it was just a brutal- oh sure they probably just tell him to kill him so I did I. There is aid to captain I am sure the brides and Marco island had alive as feed and then a tweet walled up there. ass? He could go onto their life feed and see the audience and then tweet about the audience there. Tweet about whatever is theoretically. the people in the audience to tweak the about what

what's happening? Was I tweeted out and I was like hey guys, there's a live feed to my pre show. If anyone will see it and all these death squad guy got on there like hey who's, that head with the big tits stand like like: hey black guy. Fuck, you Libraries is jobs gear and I was like others about mobility and that sort of the danger of when guys arising. I dont understand those mediums try to get into that mediums. Yet live bait, bacon, backfire. audio. Oh, yes, absolutely already works in denver now the tonnes times they they take away. People sponsor its programme or he says, only put in that low by gets the greatest thing. I love in a history. They weren't I've. I've I've had to stop a couple shows because someone's got a phone out with their flash on and just like holding it up. I, like somebody, must set up the phone like on the low candle, so it's like tat and then dorking comes over those what're you doing and the woman I heard a goes on broadcasting.

live on facebook, so my friends could see it you just and it's like they don't understand it, and the thing is, is I don't know if that person the audience is sending a video to their person that was going to be at the show, but then got into a car accident and now they're in a coma as another broadcast it gets, unlike maybe they can watch it later or, if they're a huge social media star in the audio it's just going hey here's doing tonight boop this confessional. It's all about was all about what the fat Judah just getting content and puts pretty. I like it. Yours like I did this is mine. I thought, yeah follow me, so you could see this stand at other. So, let's, let's devils arbed, advocate how much I mean I'm a pretty big youtube guy in that, like I like watching videos, if it was up, rose like any, zack golf and argues: destroys heckler. I fuckin watched his hair and loved it, and so you thinking that didn't that wasn't bad for zack right so like people alive

tweeting your shows or live streaming. Your shows all I met Lee a weird way. It's like I don't mean, but I I think that's the only times when it could be good where it's like. Ok, like use said you saw, videos were zach, galifianakis distraught, destroys, heckler or bill bird the thing happen at the travelling virus show further out for our Fifthly, I mean which just blew him up to another level, long overdue. So does that doesn't event like that. Have to happen in order for you to blow up working just be your set, I don't think you can. Just the good comic anymore. He added that that is they go to such a thing got. You gotta have something else, and I thought

just, be an immediate as like. Ok there's the hook odo that enough, we ain't emerges, so nineteen million races may be or judge it up. I gotta be the red statement, like people that come out of the comic there's gonna be gay little people s in what about those gay, little person, oh and then that does pull political commentary. Yes, I think we should all just fake personas like like next year, just come out and just be like. I hate that I shared so much about myself I'm so like. I am. I wish that could just have not told people the truth, all the time it like about how much I drink like I don't like people go like in its meeting today in someone's, like they're, like talking about,

are sponsors and they're like Burton alcoholic, and I was like I wish. I hadn't told everybody that that to myself well in cause there there is that line of where, like is there anything that you want to keep for you and then, if you do, do you feel like you're, not as far as you could be. I have no I'm doing a new bit. These days called secret time rights, not even a joke. I just go secret time and then I tell her when a secret and its I it's Ralph he was like. You've got, needs to be in your deck special, but it's just like secret time. My first wet dream was riding a horse. It's just bizarre secrets. Yeah I mean cause alright, so I got engaged recently and my fiance. I heard this I wanna know. Where did I hear this? Have some radio show it's a cause that cause I've been talking about it yeah? I met my fiance on an app for people that are trying to have threesomes that's where I met her so library I have to talk about the stage. But now

people like come up. The shows like as those you is you ve gotta yearly, could have walker or that oh know, that a train, if you want yeah the dvd yeah they're there just like there, was a guy that came on or wipe your butter yeah as long as I'm in the room, in southern she's. With me, it shows in to help so merchandise afterward. So like she, he's out there after I've just said all these things about how we met on wednesdays here. Can that has really happened to make it will come up play while loving you guys. They have three sums up, make do with with women women? I talk really honestly about ilo. My youngest and women will come up to me. Always it's always. Women,

come up to be and be like, hey it's your daughter's autistic mike excellent, I mean obviously I'm not giving her a fair representation on stage to make. You laugh like news stories. If, if there was, if there was a diagnosis, I don't think I want it now on a second show friday and last ball like just you know, your daughter is autistic and I'm like okay, we know, we've had her tested like she's. Nowhere like you shouldn't, take vi, get into drink wine, bitch your lifting go home, buying it and- and I'm sure, there's things when you tell stories about your daughter. The same way when I tell stories about my fiance is that we need to tell stories about your life, your your your, your wife, like you, exaggerate for comedic effect, because if you just tell the abs

Barebones story: it may not be that good, what's called a historian, not a comedian, but we were at a museum and yeah. If you want to hear the facts, then go read a book but like if you want to lap my only jobs, maybe you'll laugh at it. I'd totally give a fuck about it's like. If I can he's gonna go saw like, you're watching as a comic ready. the top man. My marriage, is also. I got pretty much enough when we, the bank they sent me aside amid shaped for the first time in my life. What do you do for the prolific yeah? That's an adult, I'd like yeah. What do you do for a living? Will your wife's overweight I'd probably get divorced like she has this you? You have to have some things going wrong so and maybe we take creative liberties and we create problems where there are no. I take creative liberties with the isla because look here's the thing I do is I make things

never try to shine like that. She's, an amazing kid. I'm so lucky that this funny kid as a dynamic, I was going problems which is true. She does. I fucking dyslexic as fuck is reading it like a third grade level in fifth grade and it in it. is frustrating an end. Luckily I gotta go group of friends that are all know, arrows protective but like I don't ever want to sit up there and be like just tell a funny story about my kid and then go hey. There's a I don't like my life is wrong. Some here's a bad part also, and I always punch him up and down and hide truth and hide too experiences sure like yeah I'd. Paul guest and the guy was likes whose at how much of that russian stories, true, I got upset. I got no clearly, I am telling but to make you laugh, that's my job right, but the guts at what you need to know about their story. One hundred percent Every stories can be punched up a tad bit or something I'll be right. field like like, but

That is the whole upset. There's that their theirs, If that happened, I I tell a story that my fiance once what the guy's ass right in front of a true story. If I'd there are some lines in there that I threw in that didn't exactly happen in the moment, but I mean yeah, the the the the the the bearable the story. Yet it happened avenue a bit onstage It give zero lap, but I just say it out loud. Hopefully, it'll come to just the older. I get the least amount of people, I'm gonna come in contact with is like, Where is where I'm? Turning into like, I want thirty, five acres with the shipping container house, half a mile, long drive away with colored stakes how many yards out the vehicles approaching. I had about bullets in the blue stake your play. it literally I had. I didn't realize how many bits I have about just disappearing.

Bought every city I go. Do I go if I have twenty thousand dollars cash? How long could I live here, and I even bought a book called how to go ghost like it's a book of how to disappear. I'd fuckin, tell you that stage and peter pissed worthy go what about you I mean I have a wonderful step, daughter, she's in the air force, but she she's twenty two she's married whenever my wife, obviously I'm not going to just disappear for my wife, but I think about it, so did I tell you, I love you too do out of you to do a deal. leave log like to camp. Just you two camera, but do it like? Obviously, like a marquis memory, but that you ve gone off. Grid and you will no longer that year

are now living in at two thirty five acres in a shipping container and just tell a creative every day. You're like well, I had to kill a bunny last night. The wolves got into that and you're like you're. Like am I why I think my wife's been affected like just really, nobody will know holy shit, John zero, zero, zero, zero one per cent actually come and see me live. Do you remember when Maria bamford did that did that bedroom show. See that others memory a ban for did to show where she said she had a nervous breakdown and it was shot in the bedroom of her. parents house in minnesota, and it was just camera thing and she was doing all the voices of everybody and I was like holy shit man. maria of canada, candidate, gas, scripted siri. She wrote it like it's It's not even really nervous breakdown. Minnesota knows that I thought she was, fuck louder. So now it's gonna like where everyone can do their own version of the Blair

Project words, it's wait Is it found footage localities area too? I would think that would be the thought and do like a month long daily, like just it's gotten back. I think the infection spreading into our dogs. Just why thought about doing a yeah? I tried writing like a spy novel, but I Can'T- and I tried writing a series. I learned how to write writing a series of novels tart, where the machine was the character because, like so like just like the russian mob story? But this now it's on a cruise ship ran, we're going we're going in the middle. Yet it's like flesh I just don't wanna write another book, full of mean yeah exhausting and you wrote you wrote a book and that and that's amazing and I and you know the process of going through it. So when you try and do as many other people downloaded it yeah you're like okay, I did that I could cross it off the list, but that was really fucking hard to do. It was very hot.

They will never do it again. The ads gonna, like my life. I shall just done an hour. It tell them, I'm not really, so it has done in our minds. is, is I'm obsessed with, like lock, pigs in in all that type of sobering along the road? With me? Listen and so you're what I try to watch netflix in your hotel review like practice, picking locks have all these lock picks on a walk around the hotel and I try to get in get into things without getting like arrested fuck you and then I got the silo podcast, whereas in the middle of nowhere. So then so that I was right. These notes, where, like he, Here is my novel, never doing it, but after linking gets chill Government realises that famous people have access, two people easier than anyone else. So then the no later than they stop me

I can people yeah roll, it's excellence because they are real models. Yeah, that's the plot of zoo, lander yeah. Well, no, this is different. This is how I apply to me. It's not like zoo lander that Then they figure out that Marilyn monroe. What's it like that, then, if they make one empty, he came out with reality shows that can make people quicker through real. Lady shows. they make an assassin that way or something, because it's a cover zealots, I shall make an assassin famous by putting a mobile reality show and then that assassin, that as a new talent, so to think all the holding the wants to become famous you get a holding deal in. That's u nan, o the government. The government goes. No. We mean age, you about star. You have that you always this thing and If you don't want to do the thing you want to retire, you

Vienna hotel room, so Jimi hendrix maryland, but you have a white house seldom amiable wraith, where I win last comic standing and then the very next day I get pulled into my holding deal and they go yeah you're, not you know, you know funny right? We just made you this thing. So then the yale is I'm a low level like I basically curry, like bullshit letters from city to city, so I'm at the columbus funny bone somebody's going to come up to me after the show and go. I liked your special and then I have to give this I never loved their line of my job, I know that, but it's bullshit in that's. Why go hey? What about? I want to shoot a new special in my manager and agent. That's all poor thing they go now. We gotta keep you at this level that can

is that road comic put you in the next level because we have shimmer. We have all these people that we have all seen bobbio following us after the usa was already there too. There is a wide. I wrote a whole thing right, so this whole thing happens. Then, at the end I kill somebody. that wasn't my thing. I dont not a fight I get a site that you know. Ryan hamilton is mormon like callback right. Have you made the sectaries I felt so excited assign with me, because I fuck up a lot but he's like a jason, bourne you, so you really clean on state but off stage. Rex deeds, like that's kind of thing, is like a documentary about being jerry, seinfeld or somethin superfluity self funding, but anyway. So then, at the end of this book, I kill somebody by act like this whole thing. I kill somebody and I get called into a room and they go hey congrats on your new netflix special. So I had to kill

body, and then I gotta think so they I was like you know it every city. I go to nominate, try to film as like my phone by the waiters. Here's. What really going on people. they're gonna kill you and I want to share At the same time, I'm trying to like in cars and I'm trying to do some of their spies it up that this is this. Why never road- and this is why I never wrote a year yearly says every day. This is that this is what you do. John F, aren't you you have more ideas than anyone that I really do have more ideas. What I wanted to know you know what you should do is you should get an assistant to judge dela your ideas and turn them into the fuckin industry they eat. Like you, come up with them and then the assistant peasant honour, stephen, is easy. I just started upon cast and it's gonna be airing at the beginning of this year and it's gonna be a great fucking podcast, but here You wanted to pass on our maybe it's just me talking, maybe is, I think ship sailed for upon guest of like hanging out like I was an, I got Y got grandfather.

Into it, and I think you know, and I think I think this works. Are they going to try to a? But you try to read the market and see what people like what people be. educated now, I think like if their murderers love here about murders does like the most people the progress of murder broadcast sir say we should murder each other right now, no, but we definitely wouldn't be, great if you did a podcast, we were like alright we're going to see if we can break into this house and get close to murdering him, but not murdered. So back to remember what we talked about, how you have knives amara yeah so my body. Let's go, let's author, but my buddy goes hey where years, where you're slingshot saves and stuff like that, you know in your bedroom and I go other ones right here. Yes, it's a bad place for, and I go He he watches you go get into bed, but we were. We are setting up like stuff around my house like I could firing. He goes. Giddy bed get only the covers an

Dr. Take your pants off just take your rental if they get a little chopped like full on practice, get a lead, I'm going to grind against you literally no, so he goes close your eyes for for ten seconds to no matter what don't open I close my ever scary and I hope I opened my eyes he's got his clay. There's not enough in the magazine. We're not decks. He's got a gun in my face with with a pillow over Theo's where's your safe way. Where do you keep stuff and you go further. I thought he would show me goes. He goes, can get you gonna, not because the guy's already in thing. So that's. Why he's a big nice guy you have your knife on the side yeah that's easier to grab and just europe and have to know you're doing you're flailing at the bad guy off. That's up to where even covered darkness. So you have to aim, is sally, just you

if you feel I do feel like as being a little person. Do you ever feel threatened and situation of fog? Yes, really gets like that. I think that's why I picked up the onto that, have because my view the fourth three black belt. At one point, it was right number two in the nation real Yes, you can. What precludes up with so I think that's what did you say that in early pictures of influenza alone, no, You have any armor Mona because they cause, if someone comments to me, like someone comments on my photos in italy a year you're, a short fuck: whenever ok, I don't care that that's me, but if I were to postpone sure with my fiance in someone said something me about her. I would kill them really just now. No that I'd, be it in a rage and like I so so at that, and that terrifies me when you gotta bars are yet are like too,

do you go about mars after shows showed stuff? Sometimes and rare. Do you feel like do it's easier? and you are famous, but you are like being a little person, you instil become a celebrity. Also gach you're, like a double famous person, ba drunk guys that everyone wants the either. picture, or they think they're funny or now when people ask for a photo. I say why and in any event, if they say, because your bride Williams, I really like you forget, was taken, william photo don't care, but but but if they say something like always think would be cool your sister a midget. So now bars. I like, I do guys touch you a lot yet the ba like not to be. If I daresay drunk meet heads

You guys come up and go. I wanted to try to pick you up, yo yeah thatS. Why happens to the tactical aptitude? I see you with that thing hovering and now I want to go back to this thing, but I was at the Tampa improv in amps I signed up for a lady who knew side splitters used two year ago. Pick me up my my fee improv rip off my feet, in my head is higher than the head shots at the tampa. Improv bar. That's how high up I am, and I didn't know, whether he is going to dump me light. Like pick me up and slimy reaction, I hate you, I I looped his leg, egg, and I had this out. I had like this, I'm like it's the same here for I'm going to have to stab them in the face, but luckily he was just the drunk and then I got so pissed at the door staff. I go to school the general rule of thumb if

He is my life's a comic opera around, like a thing, probably when you guys you to get your face on the phone rules, put him down. Thank god that I wrestled in high school because at times when a guy's tried to pick me up, and I sprawl I've I doubt sprawl one guy. I shall I shot a half on and then like flipped em over and lately now he's on the ground and I'm leg on top of them these any sitting there with them me laying on his throat and he's like. I just might pick you up: I'm like yeah, not cool, I'm a thirty two year old man like you, don't just go pick a random. Cyril deeds! Wait what we don't do that I have I've I've heard one experience where I felt I felt like. I was prior to this guide for the night, like he kept going get back over your momo picture up taking pictures leading to kiss my cheek and I like her. Yeah. I guess I got lucky, guess he's a fucking. Do it man, like I'm, not do

like. I know that you are going to play. You did your tit MIKE like to end, but I'm gonna, know but here's the thing is. I have a weird need for validation, so other comics, we all like it all. There are a million girls have pictures of them pinching my nipples. I don't give a fuck sharing guys out of the picture of what that guy bothered me so much. and I didn't say anything, and I was angry it myself, that I didn't go off yourself, I entered just sitting there take taking pictures with them and then leaving but like I would. It would drive me for that's why you're gonna bores bucks, I don't want a fuckin yeah. I dont want to be the thing I don't want to be your play toy right now, bugs your pictures with people is by the way, a fire you ever get there. if you won't take picture the comic after show ticket on unlocking,

phone you'll, probably save about five years of our lives, but god I wish you could see the face. The purchase made a fuckin saw a hold on one. Second, how do you get along with the allies hold on this? Isn't my phone? I don't have an android year. Giving those guys do that thing like I take the same pay. You're with everybody, its double faced. I make a fist and I rested on top of shoulders. and I stand very regard that way, my wife, if, if it's like a girl, if my hands open that should be like all you into her, so I go straight rigid, but you ever see the guys. Put their hands in cup. love handles blake, put your hand yeah yeah around you had one guy drives alike. I elbow as I was, but my elbow litter they go away on a whim. Palmdale did ride Pretty that had a gray you own me and

I have got to be tired by side. I'm doing this for instagram are rules that are gas is going up right now it is, with comedian John Henry and brad Williams, and it will be going up tonight. Inga bert, cast dot com, hashtag thomas, that Tom's girl looks vulcan Could I get a light, and I are you aware of the fact that they feel I saw today get nervous a very nervous. I'm fucking of assembly have, until next tuesday, Do you agree and rational uniting the rustling? They were young area. It will ask our imminent run. It drags. Do I gotta get below to twenty seven, which is fine I'll. Do the trash backs the bologna choice on a range of two to thirty? Ok, But if I started to fifty six from down twenty five fucking pounds us who thirty, I can lose three pounds in the over the weekend, that's not a hard thing and then I got it there and then that law.

Stay the next. They wouldn't rogan back to back. I think much really said out loud here, but I already did that wouldn't be it the second, the third back to back in the first days. Winds are the second best, is where we gotta get out of obesity and a general overweight, miss, and then that was the bet, the initial back then or he's going to pay for us to go on a trip and then bet is who shaves the beard off the person who lost the most wake to disable the fattest persons beard off wanna get three day: cold branch did thomas scares. You like this is unhealthy man, we're not being We also know how fuckin health is about. Four, cancel my cardiologist women's cause like I want to see me in the shape forget I would even days and then I'm gonna do hardware weight loss like that between monday and tuesday, just fuckin, sawdust just jog it out talkers, but like sure I have been fat, but you, but you've always been that beer fat where it's like your belly is tight, like my heart has a falcon, not sagging at all, like it's a rock hard, it's

hard, but as yet, but my problem is below, like I drink I haven't had a beer in over since thanksgiving oh aloft. Look in, beer. I bet a lot of vodka soda, oh okay! Well that covers it yeah I was gonna, say bert. You've been dry, know what I the other thing is I don't drink as much as I think people think I drink like I don't know he drank one went home yet, but I will do. guy like drinking, that's other things. I also like drinking like. If I go to do. I do this progress yesterday and they were like you wanna drink and also why not, I don't mind having a couple drinks getting a little little bit buzz going home, get the neuber home coming home. When a cigar, another cocktail go to sleep. You fucking kidding me. That's weird. That's called american american dream it'll do that in fucking tehran. The time you've got to get out of here. Oh I'm good milk. Okay, so you took your watch. I dunno we'll do we'll just do that,

fifteen more minutes to go over it will will probably happen. I mean, like I dunno jon, now I'm trying to get to a point where I look at your preparedness. And I kind want to get there. I got some works very well. I recommend getting cia secrets that will keep you alive, that books are awesome, okay, secrets that will keep you alive now or did any of these written by jesse ventura now Ok, it's all about that books, good cosette, chose What what hotel room? used to get when you're in a hotel? Why you never get the door hold on hold on hold on go start start all over. What hotel room should I get no tells not by you want to be below floor, seven cause most fire depart Ladders can't make up higher for seven I used to have to have rope and repelling gear that I brought with me on. The road

a fucking lunatic. You spelunked a boy begging to repel, although it did fall off a waterfall rappelling, but that's a hence the oxy cotton yeah, but but so what else? What it would then there's also the door that right by the stairs- is the most kidnapped, be door. You get out like how the stairwells right daddy. You think that will save us casually. Ok, that's my way out and then eyes in the book to it has all this stuff. We can set up your room to see if anybody like messes with anything I've, an app No, I don't let anyone in my room they come in there. Really yeah. I was in a room recently and I, like I, don't wear polo likewise hope Although cologne in my room, five, an app where you can take a pig sure of letter, your desk, and then you take another

picture of it and it will show you if anything was moved. Oh, you know the name of that. After so I can download a right out of my people in my fuckin room at all the I'll bet. There's all these different ways you can set up like a low peace, a tape I can put on the top of the door again a clear scotch tape, put out the very top, so you can't see it. Nobody looks up their civilian go then, if the tapes off, then somebody was in there, I I had. We had a porter potty in front yard, we're renovating and these guys were using it all the time like all night long there was just it was all I why pull up an improved from the skies for one night, a little bit there's a line in my front yard and those like the fucking like by law. buddy alike, fucking house everybody out there. So I decided I wanted to find out if someone was using it at night. So I took the tape and I put it on the door in a really discreet place on the thing, and I was like there

no one's going to see that and open it. So, the next morning I go out to see if the tape is there and as I'm walking out there, one of the dudes he's working on. My house is walk in the port of party and I was like less should get to that. First beat me to it and as the door and then he takes the tape off and opens the door I go. So I guess it wasn't hidden that well yeah. This looks good, though I think it's the opposite to how to stay alive, but it shows you how to barricade your room, how to do provides weapons like the hotel room. I, like you, do a whole fuckin tv. So in that maybe there's a spy can't. I really want to go to get the guy put on its five days long day. One is tactic, handgun, shooting day too shot gun day three as ace of driving hundred plus do roadblocks Hata do you know should over car resolve, kidnapping stuff is getting out of september. I'm getting out of the duct tape, hotter lot wire and back out of a car and day three.

he's countersurveillance how to attract people and then how to not be tracked, but it's not one was divided, whereas series is, but you have for the week like, I might just go, do I have have large ives kevlar shoelaces. These aren't these one. So my buddy zip tied me, I haven't they started from a joke in the exhibit, so I was zip tied. You can take the kevlar shoe, lay is any. Do the sign thing where you gonna go like that you saw out and then you're out of zip ties Basing comedy hurting you know. No job like you, like it and I m over- makes me crazy that I hear that and I dont think o Johns crazy. I think our man he's way ahead of where I need to be ready to do. You have a measurement is the moment where fuckin, where the story its meet your door, lad, fuckin, terror and all the propaganda that the news organisations put out of

Tal, killing, we're gonna meet your front door in a different cities are like you can like, unified to fight this house in your here. All the time. You're like a different scenario how many times have you, though they go into the grocery store by night club undergoes yeah one I wouldn't go to them. Gas station. Very you. Oh ok thank her for, let me know somewhere and look at charlie, like I stated that hotel when all that shit, went down in charlotte where they ran into the front punched. The people worked at the you dont charlotte lay back was a black my life, matter theme of who in their protests thing, but they wanted to that hotel in serbia. not that window really nay punch took up a people who are on the first floor. That's it that's worth like comedies on put you up. That was how she's so it goes like. I was just proof that enemies, layers its base layers and fur

I think all men you'd be into paranoid hell, member, that the story this year, where the contestant of the voice, where someone came up afterwards, for me, as rapporteur charm, charter, shutter yeah shudder, shudder right ahead and didn't like say: everybody doubt liked in making all dramatic just walked up with the gun, puts it couple Graham watson. I read once called left a bang. I am a big fan of that one and that one you know when I walk like it from Larkin lets a fairly again, mine apparent. I will watch people's hands went on walking. I don't. my face. My phone, my head, phones aren't on that way. I'm a little bit more! I'm I'm at the situation orange when I'm paying attention to life a crazy read, but I'm always watching people's hand. I'm I'm I'm a big, I'm that guy that you just see because your hands will tell whatever and my daughter gets mad in this case it was some I forces to do

by coming to a parking structure that second part at the parking spot at allay, I can't I pick like a random color we're all the white cars before I get to my car It makes me scanned the parking lot to go. we'll get his wife are theirs. Why car release my eyes are kind of trial? Can you see my wife does, however, my wife is the same. She works auto, show she's in a different city that she called me. I go where it goes She works for mercedes. She goes all we too slow, one of the mercedes is like two hundred thousand dollar car upon to this day. I go where you actually goes on the fourth street. I go a you in downtown. Try in he's a geiger an ear with torn down. Another mercedes and you're talking on the phone. What are you nuts? you not. Can you not be doing that were where's the? I think I'm doing kickstarter to play in detroit,

what that travel hoodie, that you are promoting your your your raising money to play in a club to play in the theatre or something like I could, instead of instead of so, here's My brain works. Yet this is by the kickstart abroad. to me and said we want. We want you to try this. What what's idea like get a theatre? Didn't you the elegant I'm. I know I have my pockets, his big in detroit from fucking reason No, why? But I've never played detroit and mark really does need me to fill a club, and so I will never play to try and I do a theatre. They can go out till I got ready need you don't me he's supports it. This is what they said to me was his club cells out every fucking show, so he just puts up local. lacks unlike travelling like beak. Max and its end. It sells out every fucking job, and I would wish to do detroit. I would love to do to write, and so I you're in a release, but tells the very first bob? I restarted really now make me

so bad that I saw a lot. Every show that anybody that I thought that was me. I thought it was the one place that I had do so, starter said get up here, It seems like six hundred say and so this is where my brains so go I guess I'm really do want doing. One show on a friday night tickets twenty five dollars. You can buy them on this. Starter page, and if we sell six hundred do whatever I two click clear my money we sell. That I will be doing this theatre and if we don't you get your money back and you didn't waste your money and then here's anything you ready for this. saturday morning I'll be doing a catered breakfast at my hotel room tickets are thirty five dollars. Anyone who wants to drink day, drink with me saturday morning and watch college football, premier league soccer or end, but there can be a cater breakfast and if we sell a hundred tickets to that will be having a killer.

access to my hotel room, if not I'm just going home, so it is a better way like that. We really thinking like what if we did a show friday and then a pub crawl saturday afternoon and tipp people could buy tickets to the kickstarter to the pub crawl end Why don't you do now? We can break son. Why you do ann arbor. and our michigan its close to literary miles from the comedy castle does club That and Ann arbor showcases, where I started, started that seeds like three hundred they'd have: did they give you that dork, is I'm there in june in in, and I've perform their everyday for every yeah for twenty seven years and I'm just kind of like this year? I was like. I went to John reed I want you to come and you do the weak with me out of you, like my money, I just want to host something, and I want to bring

and that's how you have this. Like the french john have friends, and then I saw ass alonzo Boden. Would you want to do everything you you should that at that place, it's many claudia year. So you did the same amount of people can I get you that about two seconds with having to pay no theatre things laid out the same you're doing the same thing. You don't kickstarter, you could still do one one night, one no state, and then the breakfast in the morning and well thought out. That's what you make your real money and arbor is where universal machine is and there's a billion places that you kid have cool breakfast go to welcome your before Michigan. I used to perform an account, always love their kalamazoo in Michigan, yet Before miss a grand rapids, you don't you doctor,

grants know I'm supposed to do a call in sick to work, show with the free free beer and hot wings, guys hey. You were supposed to to call in sick to work, show at doctor grins yeah, I think, or at the to the distillery there long road distillery but they're setting it up and they They can't do it yet we're gonna do that in the spring, but those to work towards this. you think I'm doing is and it is called The award show, I'm sure I'll be to have heard about it and I go in I drink on morning. Radio. I go right to the club and eleven and we do a noon show and everyone calls in sick to work and I think we're going to do one of those at the comedy store in February. For things comedy and live stream it there and but bring well that's cheating to do it in hollywood because gives known works here, I don't know they will be hard to something birds like you can sell it out and also know you can sell you get so that they are confusing you with me that there were the same good idea, I'm all up more shocked when they, when the communist or does that they like I, they just put on twitter louis

you get tickets to night, you, the team two tickets go on sale at eleven, thirty a m and they and they and they post that at ten thirty and there's a line at eleven thirty and I'm like. how did you get that quick? I'm amazed do just that. Work at the shows that they put on right now. Maybe it's David spade bill bur following RON white, fucking dog, stand, hope Joe rogue and I'm just like. Are you fucking shit? by way, every single one of those guys older than us style and still more relevant players have like our saki. I've got my hedge had done with the troll Do you know what our yes typical we're not regular refer the work ethic of those of rogan. You know, gonna fuckin! That's what you mean that our family he's he's older than he's healthier than us, but even more or older than so many older than he puts out seven hundred

gas weak travels. Some I'll spend time with his kids. His aunt has sets like on the off days like and has time to smoke elk hunt elk make elk tatar like the guy's fucking do is I need that I do thousands emma Jane just be Joe rogan. I said earlier lies is, I think, the same way, but lies in life. Eliza hijack. You should have kids, so I finally got married and she's thirty around the area, because she's way younger the line, there's a huge difference, she's. Actually, fifty two, I think she's in her forties, but she claiming that thirty, two there's a huge difference between thirty two and in my age, there's a difference between thirty two and forty two I'll tell you that and there's a another different since there is like a like I wouldn't want to be thirty, two in this business again oh really! Well, why? Why not? Now I may I should then why? Should I hate my life right now?

it's very par for year. I think that early thirties, that's people, that's a good aged beakers people. That's your price yeah yeah. I know you're lucky like lucky. I don't know if I get lucky again. Oh I see like I got lucky like two thirty, six and thirty four. I started. Booking a lot of television, meaning like pilots like just ice as baby did from fuckin. Thirty two to thirty or I probably did fifteen pilots owes ten grand apart is what you get for a pilot back. Then it was all scripted, and I just you know. I remember making a decision not to test for a tv show CBS, I saying I'm not in it. I'm not going to do this. If you wanted it's an offer and I'm not going to test for because I've died already done. Pilots at cbs- or maybe I might be wrong about that- I think I might have tested

and I didn't get it then I remember going Like one of these things- and there was but there's a panic at thirty two that I had that- I was like those like what, if I don't make it in this business, There is then a sincere possibility of not making it up. just being a guy Who could do the road and that anna saying I made it the right, but there was a sincere I don't know. I've never goes away like even I think it's like a video game, each new level there's a basque. I gotta kill so like I wanted to complain. I think it was some feature act somewhere, and I was again my next year, I'm I'm home one day, I'm doing like five corporate that's on january dream, and then I have three and it was like a legit complaining, but they don't. They're like I'll, do whatever want. You don't feel like they say. Yes, it's it's. It's all perspective it all

when you get to that next level. Okay, now you want to get to that next level. How do you doing where you are and when you say like cause now, you feel like what, if I didn't make it and now like level that a lot of comedians would dream and give the right not to be at and yet worse, fighting to get. I think I'll teach you stay at a certain level. Then it was the git to a certain level. It's much harder to state a certain level and get out of there. I maintain abnormal has a comic book was on a nineteen, seventy four. So whenever that was it right in that is to say the money I was making a clubs, then then overtime, that's gone down a little and done and saw the numbers of myself people showing up it. Just it's here. Right. This is a good we receive. You know so like a not eat our profit stuff, whose little jack you piper the dragon

pete people off the magic dragon little jackie paper. Ok, this might this sad and I gotta get out of this melancholy. Yes, but I feel like I'm pop the magic dragon hey people used to show up in that shit cabin in their life, where they got busy with their kids. Nobody shows up and I was still in the That is how to think of the said earlier about the drive. Your tactical pay. Your eye is that other valuable, like oh yeah, john everyone. I know that guy remembers away, didn't, kill him, so, let's make it go. He was an assassin for the government and the government had him die so that John effort did. He was either that thing got a hemi guy, yeah that that guy, I think, with these day at that level, to stay relevant because it was so my manner

Is there some, like you know you weren't there improves and funny moaned and draw great but it'd it's slow death. If, that's the only thing you ve gotta be creating. I fear that you do you ve got you and it has been and what you're out, because there a whole whole new, fresh peep lake no mercy and youth. You told me about that. You told me that about you just said about that colonel is that you take look at three appears. I do that constantly I'm looking at my peers constantly seeing what they're doing out another thing. If you, no, I find out of your successful see who you hang out with an eye I will say- and I wouldn't unequivocally I hang out- the greatest comics in this world there's no questions asked that is for my comedy that further by comedy, I hang the greatest comics adieu comedy with them and then that where should I know, I know where my bar is creatively for the material that I'm writing and putting out is when they

say that's funny. I know where we're going to reductions. Also tangential right now, like I look at rogan as an inspiration all the time, and he is constantly doing here who is at the front of whatever technology is so like with podcasting. I look at this I cast with the video and the fuckin guess he has on and where he's going and then I look to bill When I go- and I said I pick bills, brain and our medical and cigarettes and unlike an free and like everyone and then like to today I was like. I had this real a pivotal moment and I was like you know oh shit are you just make sure I can to make sure It's like als set it up. Where I can just make shit, I'm gonna make I'm just gonna make everything up to make all my ideas It is I'm gonna pull on the table, I'm going to make as much shit as I can this next year, I'm doing a scripted series, but I'm like which is different, but I'm going to do all the fucking dumb ideas. I've had that no one's wanted to shoot that, and I have puns of them.

Like a tunnel ice. I pick one as a joke. Today I go Tom's groaned. I want to do the show- and I said the thing and bills like you: shooting it shooting it. You're gonna shoot it won't work. We will do he like I'll, be your first guest in times like Yes, we're doing a snarling. That's way should be. You have a fuckin half baked idea, and while you wait a little longer than I remember one, my son told my first he came out and like ninety two that cost me six thousand dollars to to accord to edit and then Go to this harmony houses place in michigan to get it. You know distributed re such now, there's a thousand dollars and ninety two, which is linked. Maybe twenty two thousand not allowed, but that was with editing the adding up to literally record an album today right now in here, and it's on itunes by six o clock,

that technology due to shoot your facebook lives to whatever their age so there I wish it thirty. Two somebody pulled me aside and said: hey man Are you interested in starting a production company? I said why, and he goes because that's what your career will be: it'll be shooting and editing a podcast you'll be recording a podcast you'll be shooting an ending your own videos to put your instagram, your youtube, you'll be fucking, editing, all your shows, you'll be the basically better, be ready to start approaching company and an I know like it was really a single unit is meeting we had today because I went in knowing full well what I need. What I need to take my career, its level like I was like, and these guys were cool cruellest. Fuck the end. some a doing it or even doing wrong like I do wrong just do it wrong. A bunch is bad action. Sometimes better than like I shot my special and which was so trying to sell it. and I have the two albums was afraid to put out

my two other, whose cause some of the material is on the special, but this year went fuck it nobody. nobody cares putting on the album, because I could do that. I have control yeah, I'm going just and then with that it's on Pandora than I buy a lot of time in my life specialists evergreen theirs thing on the table. There is time stand by putting a fucking youtube, I'd be like falk make them. In and sales put her on Youtube isn't that he will go on get a free, because you know, or in a stand abounded think did with his specially took it all, it was like here from zone is, I can put it on youtube and I can't do that. He goes go fuck yourself, because I don't want people to watch it and it makes some money. see so right not really no idea. Yeah journeys look. I can pride to I'm sure brad. My own tone tell each other how much we made on our showtime special sir, but it's it's not having own. I did. One special would levity

last one, it's not even on netflix anymore. It doesn't exist, its know what it was. All networks is a wise, but now it's, but is pursuing their system and then my in their my two other special were comedy central. I have no proof that I've We're don't stand a comedy a special because I dont know my special order were not anywhere. I get mine back in a year. Food producers, he's got him scott montoya our legs. I now saw my special on dvd really admire is the EU that, year after year, younger my rights back there, I think in three months Yeah, someone posted everywhere, put it on vimeo, put her on youtube I'll go fuck it. I just want everyone to fucking watch it because the memorials old everyone to watch your your you know your hour. I I I I'm not a big. oh. No, I mean, I think I've heard a little time other repeated by the time, giving a brand new fucking our right now, because that is the status quo in our industry, but I thought and legs louis.

At olympic I've got to be mediocre. Yeah I always say: can you sell your ship for seven? Ninety, nine for the rest of us it'd be my own super super rich guys. Oh I'm doing it yeah! Some of us don't have that that type of money. The protest started with someone like you know, I'm a I forget who it was, what it was like: Jim jefferies or joe or bill, or someone who's very successful, and that was that they just on a special and I was like so when do you go out on the road next to like? Oh I'm, off the road for, like four months, I've taken some time off to work to write, and I was like as again aren't you do not like knowing a pen mortgage on the road, I guess I'll be failing in front of people right yeah, but now that I've asked might think it's interesting. The comedy fans are come up to me like that, are comedy as an elected. I really appreciate you doing all new material, this woman, who is she not idle no. I don't know where she hasn't listen to my podcast. She

what my showtime special amid for lauderdale and sheets comes over issues like I just saw your special thursday, and I thought you know It's really great over to see this guy live turns out you're. Here I came and I really sure you did on immaterial and I went it's supposed to notice that like you're, not supposed to say, I wanted to hear the hits right right right, he's still telling the guardian machine story I'll tell that to a fifty five as well as well, you should my friend, yeah yeah yeah would win some. I just And at some guys, don't like it when they have a bit that sorta goes goes viral like now. Everyone wants to hear that story, or that bet it's like. Oh great, so there's your don't stop believin yeah, there's your thing that you could always do at the at the end of the night. There are white, won't tell us tater, salad and I'm blown away by that beyond being real. If I want to see when I see him. Would lie panic, brought about from tell a story. just so, you could hear it and you know it successful, and you know like aid matter what I do during the show, whether we wouldn't want that when it pleased her from the new album act always play

so I believe and right at the end of an era. One goes I'm happy. So now we're just all trying to write that bit. So the guys. This is what the arabic sound like. Yet in real life yup, this is fuckin scary. It was good to hear tat what's up with you, in the comics. I read, love all the mcs and features I work with on the road. But it's it's completely different conversations. Sure it's a it's a tag! Headliner problems are problems. Remember saying that shitty I remember It would tell when I first met her myself. What advice? What do you mean you quit? Now? It just gets worse and then once we work together- and he goes, can I do a little bit of advice us again, because I wouldn't I wouldn't to do the same set every time I got right. If I were you, I'd really goes. one day, you'll be going to the club, and It will be paying to see you and your feel like shit? I wish I had written more when I was young and knew what it was like to write on stage and I was like who and then I just I was like well. Maybe

tried to listen to the guy. That, I think, is the greatest cover tat ever lived there, and so so far all his advice anyway, learned anything from the part. Guess it's carry a tactical pan John, we really does not always have an hour. Lobbies look didn't know where the exits, art and don't pick up midgets, don't mary, I'm not your arrival guide. You need to do. You need to do too things you need to do a daily log of you and your bunker of like of just like. You have no contact with the outside world and you're. Just saying: what's that you things happening by now, the beast: probably circumambulate salaries, and then you need it. Do a survival series or it's you doing given advice. Fuckin like this is how we're going to learn how to get out of fucking what you call it out of zip ties, and it's just John. It's like it's like two and a half minutes. Two and a half minutes. It is fast caught, but is your survival get today we're gonna

I had to kill a man with one punch today we're going to learn how to do whatever they're going to learn how to clear rooms. They were to learn how to survive when you're locked in an elevator like all your fucking rival years, that's a web series that I'd fucking really watch and I binge watch yeah and I'd be horrible at it cause. I really don't know what I'm doing. That's my biggest fear is getting in a fight in front of my wife because she knows how many classes like how much a train will be upset. I'd have you'd be like wait. No you're supposed to come at me and punch with the writer to it was so funny to see you as zip ties for eight minutes going any minute. Now that is funny. So you get these that kevlar shoelaces riper. To do it right. You have to create a certain not, and I don't know how to tie a knot at the time I shoot time so my buddies going to zip time. He goes you don't know how to do that. Not you're going to be in those I know this time lapse. It in a farming

if you like great lighting, his hair he's got a beard that lenders are see the clock in the background raining yeah. Oh it's christmas series. I've watched that series don't hardly eyebrows progress, not my party s, the about our last night by gas, with with ray we go, that's amazing guess: go in the back logs, you'll find a real with neo. Patrick hair is most mullahs, mccarthy off when an outrage on africa. In our february episode. That's that's out next month. I noticed you notice beyond yes, but like the opt out clause, if I have a celebrity all my podcasting, no one cares, but if I have you guys, I just comics. They fuckin or like this is those are bigger numbers like every time I've had it, someone famous on I'm. Always underwhelmed. By do you notice that it is you the same way? Yak is when we have

like our what we're eyes red episodes reared we add on and anderson tino is one of our best friends great comic from self wanting a bit sought. The barrier is, he knows, no, no it's from Chicago. you know read it. I don't know sent. You know there is a great deal and we had him on and just because huge of bodies we after so hard for an hour and twenty minutes, just shoot and a shared and tangible our toby will go back and finally, episode- that's that's a girl. I know Anderson tina yeah you seen around you. Of course I want to say how sorry I am thinking to some other guy. Yet so you're right best. Friends are the ones that like like, if I have joey diaz on here, not joey's upon gas gold. But now I had aryan steve rent is easy and I was a big number part As for me, and I was like well, I would think that it would be big, but not always

the light Bobby flay or or like I had fuckin Peter jackson from the fuckin remains yes or no. something I'm not even the first harbour to be in here. You are you? Are you good again but just what, but you said you want if just don't shit in whatever we have always been that like this idea for this, I'm going just do stories comic surgeon it. Tells stories about this subject is disappearing right now, who's going who's going to disappear into the world for until march you know, but he just did it's one of those thought out there. They just do it. Take. Lot have found him the next day, the podcast gases, like our member being so nervous to put on my first pakistan. Cigarette aim came over and took must gear and he hit record because you're doing it this is, first pilot on like episode. Five

and yeah we had we. We sat on a couch like this. He had his his macbook pro here and he hit record on garage band and we talked towards the pot towards laptop, no microphones said old and instead of someone yesterday them, but I dont think your microphone there were, like you did robin podcast, what was at his house rose, I guess and the like were those like the golden days It was really weird back then, because you just get high as fuck and you walk out and his whole family was there you're like yeah, I did. I was in me and my wife go to these digital detox camps cause. These are called campground where they take away your phone no watch know what I would do that for like three days so we're buying camping stuff in some random place in north carolina, and I'm just talking to my wife, I'm like hey. We make sure you get mosquito opponent. In this case. Stops and ngos.

are you are you John happen and then a agraea areas I didn't know what you look like, but I recognise your voice from rogue podcast having a mean arm in arm in Walmart, at two o clock in the morning buying however, and this is kids, probably sixteen years older and now is the coolest am I done rogan podcast in two years time. years. Paisley, oh yeah. I think there are ever. On a plain talking on the phone to someone And someone I laughed and someone got up and turn rather like the machine and I like, I recognize. I laugh anywhere and I was like oh shut up, yeah see ea. When people see me: they pretty much know that you are falling and your dad is all is all over you. I can't hide it no covering you, someone once called me the world's largest qichen.

So we covered towards aids Europe about last night, with Adam re, great parker, you guys gonna have your eye. What we want. You want so bad. We want both of you, Then you ve got on. You got a bunch of serious come now. I have, I guess it's my wife called critical. Forty eight we see the forty eight hours a week, it's a kind of fighting in going over what we have to do with the house of nice? It's it's good. I like it. She got out of proof I'm her. So she is very interesting. You guys ever have double date, couples on we have not yet because I think that's what we should do is actually have other economies and wonder why rise that well be gray, it's kind of like you, don't you hear when his own home for data rational? How similar any leaves out of order, my wife in your wife, what? Let's all our troops, has made this horror stories? I mainly at the EL. I will. I will listen to

your wife, your wife and my fiance just sit around and bitch about their comedian, husbands. I would listen to that part. Gal still advocate that guy go and have a guy for your wife that other work, sir I've been good then, and to adapt to our two minutes again, guys like you do and if I ever get getting somewhere like when we like we launch this episode was brought to you by the machine.

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