My one hour, comedies special, the machine. arizona showtime november, eleventh at ten p m that's right, everybody. I am very pleased to announce I won our comedy special on showtime, though machine air all Levin eleven at ten p m. So do me a favor spread. The word tell your friend, set your Debbie ares put it on your posted at work to it on your arm. Watch it in your machine sure you can get a berber, bert dot com and tell everyone the machine eleven eleven and pm the hey guys brand new podcast and you're gonna love it. I promise

this weekend, less real quick run through them toward it. This weekend of gotham in new york, the twenty first twenty second to third, I'm going to be in new york until the twenty sixth, I am doing an unmasked, the twenty fifth with RON Bennington. I think that sirius Xm studios, if you want to get tickets, just look for them. I met mermaids in fayetteville arkansas on the twenty eighth of october, guys check it out. It's a brand new club. The seafood club comes highly recommended from doug stanhope and I can't wait to do it, I'm looking to get down so if you guys come on out, get ready to get down funny but funny bone dayton, the third fourth and fifth of november, that is my birthday I'll, be doing bob and tom the morning of the third and I'll, be throwing a surprise party myself for myself all day that day or the next weekend, baltimore comedy factory I'll be on ally.

the morning on the eleventh of november levin of november eleven eleven eleven at ten p m. My our showtime special airs. I'm an acute santa's ad nauseam in december tamper morty. four lauderdale levity live at oxnard for nears eve. Come out get busy, I'm still coughing. I talk about that at the very beginning. This biogas cities by cast is a fantastic one. There's a guy have known for a very long time. For my first like when I became sort of making friends out now I like the jet friends, we talk about all this on us most both by guest, he's a stand up, comedian he's gonna, making stories he tells two of which three of which, on this package, one immediately than we talk about a couple movies that he got indirect directing and how he got into that

is a stand up at heart and he's a great storyteller. So, ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for my friend MIKE young, the year on where you're at you're at war right now dude. It is did you start assault the small and became a fuckin master? No, it's no. We started, I think, on record the we started I don't think I realise what I was getting into at all like. I said, I was under the impression that, like likely m was like live? There is a twenty five grand. If you live in the house says a great deal, save twenty five grand how bad canopy? How can it be? There is not one person that you meet, that doesn't say more I'd. Second guess that living through a renovation of your family, The worst is the toughest period of our marriage. We almost

divorce. Like all this shit, I might break up with you and look at it. What's going on, there's a full fucking wars or happy at the christ, your house I know and and and mexicans or on the front lines frontline I am frontline. We, the I'll, tell you what I'll tell you were like very candidly where it starts, is that the first of demo like is it all the fuckin move and stuffed one room to one room is just like moving you and your slow and you don't have everything moves you figuring out and then and then Day they start demo allergies, just dislike you're in a dust boy you're in a docile and I've got a fucking sinus infection, a chest infection yet rowan you know it's crazy. The sand under the house has been there since in thirty nine, so that sand was so fucking fine. It was just

and I mean everything in our houses, dusty and as this is like I've just resigned to a cough. I've had a cough for like first eight weeks as long as we are doing it right leaves us like a low grade. Yeah you're, wesen yeah and my asthma. Like I went on a cruise ship, I was like this'll, be nice, get like a week off, go on a cruise yeah. I forgot they all smoke. On the fucking cruises, I was like er yeah, no bra cat, two dogs, two kids, my wife. Me and two rooms living over the bedroom, which had a double starbucks wish you could go to starbucks via the I told you is. This? Is the only safe place, yeah now feels ok here. This year's under you'll find in here you should sleep it here. stay in here. Problem is my I get away for myself when I come back here right of a propensity to fuckin start dreaming bay right, you want to be in the dream caveat, because this is this is beautiful. I like this are amazing. This is great, but you get back. Here then you like, and then you you, like fucking, open a bottle.

not watching me and one of the morning I can't fall the airlines. movie. Oh shit, africa. Great eighties, music was eighty on the treadmill If you know you're, fucking, spin, inadequate, drunk workhouse, should I get drunk work out. I've been doing it. I've been does that this is the problem If I come back and I'll open a bottle of wine- and I feel I can't just sit and have a bottle of wine and just sit so I get on the train, walk. I walk like seven, I'll, have a bottle of wine like afore I was the only one that ever did that I broke into my buildings, Jim the other night at one thirty in the morning, you serious half hopped a pint tequila a little bit. A weed and I focus to go and add its the best great work out. If you could stay standing out, I do it in hotels. Yeah come home from I think I was just going to go just to uh Salman is due to a set of traps. Yeah fucking drugs under shrugs until I can't be shrugs anymore, I'm going to bed by the way

tramps. Look unbelievable crisis get the bay. If you only knew bert from the chest up, you cute little ready to play middle line. Beggar the only had eaten receiver light. I continued to do my whole life are upright rose. a bright rose shoulders buys and traps. That's it! That's all I've ever done the further down your body goes the distance to weaker. Get you see it's just like it's like america. It is used california. This looking good fruit arrest, you get your treasure is no calves. Please now at meta, shoulders, I'm jealous of dudes with calves. I got care, I don't have rogen calves, but I got care of rogan has got phuket. Rogue has got everything. Yeah he's got toes. Rogan toes have fucking bicep muscles. He was a. He was cholera shirt the other night and I just kept Nolan tenacity, supposed to look like hang from your tits, your dick, like I got this, I got this like I'm a salesman, but I'm in vegas for the weekend. Look when I put on a collared shirt yeah, you have a success, for body

so the other right just so glad to fuckin finally, hang with you brought up to its been he brought into each other, but it's my schedules fought my schedule, weird and wacky you ve got like you got? Maybe of my favorite stories. I would like my favorite ever maybe there are enough of this story. You told a bunch of people but like my favorite story or is it not the mafia A tribunal story is that it's not your fuckin, it's not the leo. It's not the fuckin entourage is none of that. It is the when you die was dying, they taught you how to run a business That is why of that you remember that per year of general much yeah, there's something. I tell you this. When I first met you so there's something you haven't comedy that not everyone has I've said this. I use use an example to ever,

Whenever I see someone do a joke that real of them you go, I go all, that's that's what you're supposed to be doing like that's. What I strive for my comedy is that it's the thing that makes I was telling my therapist today it's the thing that makes, really good storytelling, tough, because you wanted the true right, in time. It's us details that stick with people. You go. You go like your joke about. Never had one friend so fucked up experimental from a criminal friend. Yes, but just finished a joke. I don't wanna, tell you a joke, yeah! No! It's I ever have that one for you knew he was going to be a criminal growing up, he'd, be like hey man: let's throw eggs at the Jacob she's like fuck yeah that will kidnapper fat that we can make money here. Yeah these new members frozen because real, it's real, equal, kidnapper fat, that's her dead, then maybe fat man. That's what that guy said and then you just get right to the stage, and it will then- and it worked on so many fuckin levels, but when you told a story about your dad passing away yeah

I mean we're we're talking story, but yeah might you know I'm from Detroit, so I grew up in scranton the scrap metal business. You know so my dad was in scrap metal, so my dad used to he. He was a peddler. He made a lot of money in the eighties putty. Look like a scrap peddling eta dumptruck, you know, and- and we would just go like spot to spot picking up scrap take eight miles, sell the scrap whatever so boom of twenty years old em off dag it's fuckin hit with pink ray cancer. It's like the worse death sentence. You know I'm in college and and there was just one of these like all school type dues who was like, even though he was dying, he was gonna, show his kids how to run the this, and so I did well, this was coming like you know, you hear your dad's got cancer, you think, okay, you know we can beat this or you're going to go to war and it's going to be a year long thing. Well, it wasn't my dad was in such good shape. He was a he

he ran like eight miles a day. He was an athlete college athlete, so he was always strong and he didn't get any symptoms tools to late. So all all bad all bad me. My brother, younger brother, My mom she's really know how to run the busiest around the businesses that, what's going on its own cash. It's under the table type a shit, it's detroit shit, It's under world scrap metal, shit, and so I go home thinking that I'm going to go like spend a couple of weeks with my dad kind of get things like see what's going on and then I'm going to go back in my mind, I'm gonna go back to college and I'm going to you know, whenever they say my dad's getting better off start visiting- and I don't think he's gonna dilate no quickly, so I go back and am I and just like he, in bad shape. This is what we have we're not going to cry of over the heat I'm going to. Let you know my dad's in bad shape. He's got he's on an oxygen tank,

and he's not breathing, well buddies. Moving around the house a little bit he's not eating because he's nauseous every time it is patriotic answer now the there's, a tiny chance you can live there, a chance, but back you know and ninety ninety it was now that is not happening One day my dad just yells to me, you know yells, you know it Michael get down here sattler was gonna, go downstairs, he's dressed and he's on the bed and he's, like you, know, going. Your mom's closet and get the shoe buys uneasy. get the shoe box, something like what with shoe box he's like there's a shoe boxer of all her shoes. Some money in it. I want you to go, get the she walks and come here. I go, get the shoe walks, there's like seventy five thousand dollars cash in the fucking shoe box. I knew my dad was in a cash business because I'd go to work with him a lot and I'd see him get ten thousand and twelve thousand, it was always in an envelope and it was always like it was. There was

shit, that's how you got pay. They say you want sam, you wanna check, we want cash here is one my wife told me that one time of worked in Chicago and the end brandt, nebraska brandt, your friend, yeah yeah, broncos memory, pistol on the table for a pager, yeah and he'd go you want to cash a check, and in my head I'm such a fucking white privileged comment, but I was like check please and my like: are your fucking idiot? take the cash box that's what I love of opera crusher, that he looks like a maniac. He acts like a fucking animal I've met is that is why people of their like privily. They they look like florida. They just look like wes palm beach. Yes, there's super cool people, your parents so anyway. So my dad says you know, get your brother the start. The car go down to the yard. I want you to take fifteen thousand out of the shoe box, put it in an envelope and we're gonna go

I got a yard, so I know when he says we're going to the jar we're going to this one scrapyard that he goes where his truck is parked and It's where, like our brass account like press at the time, was igniting cents a pound, and it's like you can bet. You were making tons of money. So my debts as take fifteen thousand, And put it in an envelope robert. My brother, you go get the car started and come with me. This was like the passing of the baton, so I take fifteen thousand put it my if I put my pocket and we in the car, my dad's in the back this straight out of a fuckin movie, my dad's, in the back hooked on oxygen. He's like listen and go to the yard. You gonna go see. Verne Verne is like this. We'll italian dick do but like fred Flintstone, who just always sat behind the desk at the yard, and he would always call my dad when it was time for the brass pick up so brass was so much money that he was he come on.

the day before uncle sam get in here at four thirty. In the morning practice english brass has come in and get the shit outta here before the day starts, so those were the times when my dad would wake me up at like four in the morning. Let's let let's go. We'd fucking when the truck I was driving a dumped sixteen in america, knowledge our full. Don't yes, and so we we what are the yard and there's vern? We get to the yard and my dad says your park here. Don't tell anybody I'm here. I don't want anyone to see me like this, so It's like where his head was at. It wasn't like I'm dying, bad for myself, it's like I got make sure business continues for my family and so he's like prepping everything so here Go inside seaver, don't tell him. I'm here, he's gonna tell to do with the mohican know. You got the money just you're gonna go. Whatever he says you just do so unfair

You know I'm nineteen, twenty years old, I'm a little nervous. You know I really don't hold onto the fifteen thousand. Ever I got fifteen thousand left pocket. I got my brother stays in the car and go in ice its loud because the shit bang in practice be impressed upon mouldings and in all things we're being stamped out by car for cars. All kinds of shit when I'm like vernon these, like that, you know he knows that my dad's he nosey sick, has no house it. How should I feel in there It's not. You know not too good, but thanks for asking he's a guy you're going to come with me He was gonna, come with me any hands. We a hard hat like a construction, hard hat and goggles he puts on the hard hadn't goggles and he takes me to the yard outside were like the yard is outside, and literally there's like a giant mount to steal a giant mound of copper, coiling a car. In crushed and they one corner a crane.

fuckin, magnetically, lifting another car and dropping it. Some words is a real fucking yard and its loud it just looks of eagles. Ok now and I ve just take I'd. Take the fifteen thousand ahead a tomb. He stuff, down his fuckin fat parents like our member every detail. It here belly, you're amelia rice does it likes, puts it in his pads, like not his pocket. Just in case, anybody at the yard sees a bulge in his pocket. He pockets dissidents, puts down as paths and is a guy woodside and business. right. There was basically done and what realize was, is that you know when my dad was getting the phone call to come, make twenty thousand a day and he was It's so much cash. You had to take care of so my dear probably owed verne for five. Stop showed me by autumn, like a few thousand every time you know, and every time any you can't, you have to be introduced into that paying If a man, you can't just be now,

just like those are doing just start doing it. My dear I have been doing for years. He knew game. They love my day. everything in scrap metal, was done in a handshake. There's no contracts, there's a fuckin, nothing! This paper work. This was The day when you know is it mob. Type of thing. Not it's not like. There wasn't like that. It wasn't like straight up mob. Like you know my dad, was very connected in Detroit. You know a lot of people and they liked and like ability is, got him his accounts, and that was my entrance into the scrap metal world and literally how business was done. We draw whacked out back in the car. He knows how to go ass, a fine he took the money or and he's just my dad's aside, then that's how it is he's like that's how it goes off. You ever come back when you know, you come back for brass you always Caravan so I knew tat and then yeah and they're my dad fuckin passed away like literally like four days later it

from the time I heard he had cancer to the time he die was like fuckin a week's. It was that it was the quickest shit. did you ever saw was it? Was it worth it been better if he had been out of shape or like That's my joke! I said you know what, if cancers in your body and it came to pass a fuckin bric, a cheese you're in good shape, but my dear it's flowing with fucking health. They told her to my dad my dad's, like I want to lose weight and his doctors. I don't he goes don't he goes you're good. He might like to try if you're not in great shape, but he looks fine in a suit yeah he's and he goes, he was a vegan If you want to wait on, you he's, like, I said gathered some backwards, vulcan, true philosophy with that, like a dance see you you wanna be exercising you, don't wanna, be overweight. Now government have a heart attack, but there's something My dad was ass. He was a runner, so when the ship on a system it just spread everywhere you and we were in vegas gambling. Like you know, weeks earlier and my dad just didn't look good. He just didn't. Look right! Look weak!

he looked a little to soften the neck. You like a kind of could tell some was wrong. He was catherine, oh baby, what they never wind and but he was still in my dad my dad is funny he'll gambling music. I lost the kids, can't make I'm like kids ain't going to eat this week in college know funny shit and boom. He fuckin just went home and got sick and an airplane mama Looking to the hospital that next day for death. happy carmody com stories commedia row cheese fuck, it hits you like day just go, I'm gonna do whatever, the fuck I want, because it was like my dad was pushing me to be in the business and we kept the business going every pass we kept to go for a long time. Those his insurance policy yeah

like teaching you guys how to how to do it. Don't worry now you can stay alive, yeah, I'm I can go now now. You know how to do it. Yo and my dad was a he I mean. God bless him. He paid everything cash everything my mom's got a house one on a lake in a suburb, everything was paid cash and the government doesn't come at me now came flocking. Christ, you're gonna be arrested, Bilbil, mentality, yet they can't take it. He said to me: we're talkin mammon cigarettes, about my renovation and how much Oh on it and bills those your sake to pay it down. Pay down. Get it fuckin own, it I can't take it away, you never know you're gonna say almost eight. They can't take it away from you I got among us. They were bills, got like those one of those guys hell? Yeah yawns is car yeah. You know like yeah, my dad. my dad's mentality was like. If you can't afford

like if you don't have that in the bank, you shouldn't have it and that's the obviously what countries the opposite that everybody lives credit it out. owes money everywhere, but my dad was all about. Do not o anyone. Anything pay cash for everything and he just did Am I mean it was? It was amazing because in ninety percent people if this were to happen to their family. Who, though, knows what I would have done, it would have kept the scrap as its goal, but you know the business changed the gun, came in they regulated it. Wasn't cash anymore, you're gettin under table money like that, so being open. That was my that's that's that's why I always like cash on issues. In my dna you're, I feel like I feel, like you're you're, definitely a product of your father. I repeat that I remember we. What we re now we were in. See that when we can help you we are, and we were and I remember you were eaten like fuckin lettuce and chicken

water and putting on water, and now here I am eating fucking twenty wings with shrimp poppers and I'm like. Are you? Are you what's the matter you, sick and you're, like no, I like to stay healthy and was like wait that doesn't make sense comics and you're like no. Like I got my family, I like to keep clean. I like to eat clean yeah. I live in fear. I am eat out of fear not even enjoyable. Even even when we drink you like just killer just tequila, keep a clean. I told your bert fuckin to kill him broccoli row. it sets my dick load, a bra yeah. I had the broccoli go and steamed broccoli, hot dip it in ranch and tequila. That's my that's what it is it's in my system. That system is to build balancing the little things you accrue from a friend and then that becomes your. At a quo in like that where you go like like, whenever I like, there because we were at a hooters that day hell yeah. We were, I think your parents were there, that parents came my all went to a stake.

Across the street and all high stakes. It was fuckin so much bond with airlines down my dad likes me, but he loves my friends links are getting tolerates me man, he loves my friends like he loves me comics you love being around like fuckin fund eyes yeah yeah. We had forever sit around the little round table me you, but bradley Sebastian, Sebastian was with us for at least one of those cities for sure First was goes with us for that. that atlantic city was steve born with us. I don't remember I feel like he was our member sloman and I cut. it's his. Closing bit music Oh shit, you're, like you braced others roller skate skating bit and then it everyone wanted to skate with tony yeah, and then he comes tony an incident when he goes here comes done. The music kicks in and breadth. skating and dancing

and we told us how guy he does one music, this time, hilarious. He was really a guy. I want to do with other music videos, and here stony, and then nothing he's like. and he only like die laugh over like just getting at the music that was that was the those were without tropicana that place. I'm out all I will speak out is closed. Now it can be called around even off the deeds alive remorse I mean they. Actually, the lad I place was not mobbed up, but I wanna be mobbed up or maybe it was It was irish mobbed up, it was as an irish member I, but the third day we were all scared for our life. Doing that about our ada, my guts, yeah the outer hated my fucking guy. No, no, you walk do the fucking kitchen they can. do the show room deadline as yet, what do the kitchen and those like her you that's! The crazy thing is like the danger that happens on the road letters, dangerous moments and I was oblivious

Bolivia. I was like you're dick, like leg of like I think, as being an asshole and then they came at the end. the guy forget who own the club egos. He paid us. Individually in cash and He said to me goes in funny like teddy, bear and I said I'm never coming back here Why said I dont like your bouncer, I gotta go we all week, iq just and the brain, like bully me when we are put at the andes, like you can't drink in here, are slinked the weirdest shit we weren't supposed to drink and like this is the part that shows for all the bar. I do remember I got it was so you such a document that owner said so. You won't play my club because of one fucking guy. I said how bout of a time I had here and he went any made the guy come in. Polyglot yeah. I remember that so uncomfortable isaac deftly. Never

I have no idea who I am. I don't like confrontation, fucking competition at all, you're freaking me the fuck out, you're crazy. You are a fucking walking irony bro, you are Finally, I am again I am not. I had not make sense on paper or like the people. Got me on this fuckin lunatic. Like I like last night, I fled out. the propane tank in my house like an idiot juliet just reside brought in from outside, where we have all camping here and then the ngo, you gotta believe it out. I turn it on and it starts bleeding. if only she was no no you've, got to take the tank off and I'm like whoa, so I turned it off and then I take the tank off that it's going and then I observing is only and then I'm a fucking mess all night long gone up in tackling money I was told to see if they're responsive, hell yeah, he was freaked. The fuck out. I put the cat on the floor to see if the cat died. First, it was like, oh my god, but I'm I'm I'm a little bit of a above was a jumbo shrimp.

you're about men that could not survive in the mountains at all? You are the first one megan rogan talks about going out hunting. I go on you sleep on the four weeks I carry around and I see pictures those guys hunting they fuckin hunt for real. I wish I could. I want get into it like. I think I would, it would be cool tethers. but I like moments words where the sun up and you're gettin you're really doing something and beans out of a pot. Your carryin fuckin bare legs. hi acquitted I'll, do the fuckin up a hill and you like and there's just an. I love that, but I put them. parties like baby the first due to cried shot something ride like them. You see my math class where's, the closest hotel to this place. So we, how did you get from? How did you get scrap metal detroit to do movies in hollywood. How does not happen-

Oh fuck, I will be. Obviously I don't comedy is the is the in the middle of a wing man that got you there fully from comedy full, I mean, as you know, scrap metal detroit. I always I was always a fucking class clown. Funny kid super fan of comedy. I was addicted a cavity as a kid, television hook, timely, happy days, type a shared hooked, our old, normally or shows I'd always sit with my family watch t comedies and in my mind I swear I used to think I'm gonna write like like a right, decisive to think I could guess the dialogue and I always wanted to be a comedian and a writer and so after detroit left Detroit, whatever college universe of errors, or I finish school. I was gonna drop out after my death passed, but One thing I didn't go to college put ikea like this. He played for one year at arizona state

at this moment reason: you're gonna finish school and it was like he was dying. Any study of fiscal but kind of like I was kinda thinking that he was just saying it to circles, because it was the thing to stay out there. Kinda didn't give a fuck. He was making cash yeah. What did you really want me to go to school? So whatever I finished school for for my? Dare don't settle down with one woman, he kind of was like that too love me and my dad was like he was. He had his own philosophy, his boys. They were like me and my boys like their maniacs. They were while Personally, I go to college and then I just know that after school I'm going go into stand of comedy. I go the comedy I start standing up the comedy store three. I remember the dam that you, but I will get back to their will. the the comedy store in line sunday afternoons, whatever fuckin for three minutes. The knowledge right after college move will actually no after college. I had a girlfriend college. I blew what to chicago live with her put

dreams aside, get it dream. She must have been a falcon dime lucy when she was the cutie she was. I remember my dad was like she's, not that cute, but then I thought I'd put it out here. I wouldn't live with her for two years in chicago, where I just did odd job shit. You know top boxing did all kinds of shit and then always in my mind, obliterate. You can box a box yeah. I used to box amateur because a young kid from like eleven to twenty. I still had the bicycle work out, but I learned how to box allows young up to my uncle's were professional fighters and There was friends with a manual stuart who use with a legendary trainer, so Detroit me, my brother, took boxing like is a key as kids. How can one a different lifestyle I want if that even exists nemours now it feels like Detroit filled with investors. Looking that start around. not shock totally, but it's the battle that childhood, where you do like spicy, would concur. Protocols like no one, no dad's like your eleven

You guys are out of work and fight. Oh my god, I'm I've had a concussion for forty years of literally binkie. My entire life, if you were talking, conclusions of how well my whole life, so go, I saw do stand of comedy boom have died due the comedy route. I do many store. Three minutes. Missy sees me I'm in do in the short version, but you know did I start go on the road rogue in one of the first duty ever to fuck and see me and come up to me and go? Do I really dig your stuff to go on the road asked the road fuckin this by. Why one? Yes, the dream, rogue text me on the row. We go on the road for a year all like the best sickest venues, and this is before he's blown up on the. U of c stuff, he's fear factor. you know it so we're still he still pack and all the houses organs. I bet there was women's. I went up crusher just I thought dinner,

building in america. I don't even go to my hotel, it was stupid. Shit was going on, though it was rock and roll man. Like every city, I mean cause, listen the dream, be a comedian and a writer put in the dream was- get some pussy like a rock star. Let me go, live this life and see what this is about, and I did it. God bless. You overtaken me because we we had. I mean I had a girl that, to this day keep in touch with girls and fuck in Houston atlanta. They got six came. This is that for those email, although this the hay day of when the emperor further opening up everywhere. There was talk three improves, and we did. All of this is the edge like so of euro comedy historian, comedy blew up in the eighties and then it died, and then us fuckin lunatics, and I say that, like like the falcon first people who discovered there was golden zammit disco. we decided in the committee when it was

the lowest like no fun in clubs cause. We know you've got you, we had you honestly, I'm not even fucking around I mean you had clubs like the laptop there were clubs out there, but there was it wasn't like it was in the eighties whether in every shopping, mall and every comics make an hundred eighty thousand dollars or doing nothing in every comic comics are making like millions just doing the road in the eighties, and so we started there was a seller. There were stand up new york, there was fucking comic strip. There was this door. There was the improvin allay. There was a laugh factor There was the ice house, but then, unlike in like a and, like ninety nine, like bright bright spot early, point. Ninety five put like this robber, men started opening, improves and funny bones everywhere. We showed up as like you kids and you'd hook up with a do like rogan or j more and they would have us under that was like performing. I remember what I said:

First, I will go jason taken is generating onstage, usury, the guy, I'm going to be feature: take a my calendar. Whatever date, beyond your on and he walked away and I was like us: My house, I was guess I'll- have to see what he's doing next week walter gauze, who was jays best friend at the time and what am I really close friends to the still you Walter too many goes he's eye, be that change your life and I was like what it was like you gotta look taken in his counter for a second while worst go, look at his calendar what change life and also was. I looked around like with his ingredients. for all forty eight dates like that, and I was like out of them. He was like ok, since we still- and you were like you will like what the fuck and then that was your introduction. We were also the guy's got introduced all the clubs and so a great and they were also out. There is a lot of you, the adults I would was adventurous. A was a lot of people, the time who are

a new club in town, the improv. I could see the guy from action or or aura or or fear act or or what, the sitcom joe's on I loved. So much lose radios. Radio I could see them live, they stand up shut up and it was, thing was sold out, it was David Hell. This is David, tells how binding he's on he's on on late at night, whatever that was on the zombie aid chapels headline in these clubs, you know theater tore live nation has no footing in it. Read this motion ronald reagan, fuck. I remember you're not like I remember someone talk about Brian Regan's quoted the time you can go and I would love to get that a mac. I remember then, and now, I'm making play a by making double that yeah. But, unlike mike, I would love to get that it was a working really interesting time. You couldn't believe you're getting paid to do this in my mind, I was mentally poor, like I was coming to detroit scrap metal. The whole thing, unlike

you're paying me to go. Do fucking low? And there was this weird- I I told rogan one time on the in atlanta. I was a pro I feel like jerking, you off just say the word as is too good to be true, I really felt like that. It was a really interesting. Time. There is also no corporate like by laws about fucking the staff. No law I only got to know once like there would be like fuck it. I mean it was just like laws per week. just you saying that This is all of this is also leading, probably pride directly. Into the demise of guys, a great europe low, because coming and the staff of this time you be headline in the asean coming central. They love in a big hit that they come the green room, be like hey. Can I get you anything like koker we'd newbie like like now it so Corporate right, you can't even you can have a drink with a staff like these are going to come on their alike by and left and fuckin and by weight

region in particular you're coming to party with me afterwards and holsters like fuck man. We won't hang out with Brian Regan, and I was like you can't like. We have to leave right now, like that's the law for them yeah. We were like. Oh sorry, was a good turn to start directing movies stats, not sleep around out there, it's just you saying that, like I remember, I got a call from the guy who owned that houston laugh stuff, that people prepare early, yeah, yeah yeah. He cosby goes bro. You gotta quit fucking the staff you gotta just stop like there was ex of smoking hot waitress everytime. I would to Houston she'd come over the hotel and it was like that is partner. As part of my dream, I'm not making excuses our do you know why? Maybe that's why I'm still single cause? I went to wild, but That was our live in the dream. Only my room was my dream: was the fuckin layton, party in here and now that you think of us up last stop right about that

stop, stop use the laptop for what's gonna coming historian, that is where Mitch Hedberg. His special kenneth, Kennedy get him out of there give us came out. You'll hicks came out of their how their stand. Hope. Raw white, like what the fuck and all the greats yeah. I did this club a tell you'd go to look at the thing and it was all like Tom rhodes, all the guys you respected and admired in this business capacity. From my perspective, guys I d like to party and get and get weird all their fuckin faces were all over the walls. Absolutely I'm one of them a man that was ago like I'm one of them. yeah, it's the only fraternity of ever felt comfortable and it's the only group right that, like I ever felt like the edge, a weird thing. I remember like a war When I decided I was be a comedian. This peacefulness came over me and I was live or die, rich or poor. This is the game, a man, and so just

back on the story. I did the road for while long time- and I created the young american comedy tour- that you are on Sebastian and you know I just I created that others puts proudly which bradley tony rock and we ran that for a few years, and I just I kept doing it- I was always I was always in the room. Writing. I was always writing scripts and I was always try to come up with my own original ideas and I'm sorry pitch and shows and in my mind, like the first let me deal ever got. I went I didn't nobody told me how this game worked right. I didn't know that thirty, fine, you something and they have writers of their own. That little want to know what your ideas you gave them. Fifteen grand you like, but on our that our group would, I would have done at a hundred percent, but instead I brought tens grooves into the first meeting of the same script. My of what I thought was my own sitka, so I had this deal with. We are brothers at whatever they enable you have a meeting with everybody. They got any ideas just to appease

because I don't give a fuck they're, like any ideas of shows for yourself. I go funny. You should mention it. Here's a script for everybody, The show I see myself in- and I remember I left my manager at the time- was like what the fuck is wrong with you. Don't ever do that again, these people want to read your shit. They will have writers. The greatest thing is: if you got no idea if you have no idea there, like ok great, we got cause, we got one right fits you write and now cut to eat or twelve years after that moment. You know I am writing for other people and directing stuff. So I don't give a lot of people the rules, you don't either. I never have play by the rules. I don't give a fuck like my mom mentality is if something good and you take it should get done, do would have gonna do to try to get that done, just get it made. Us does too many rules and politics, our. I don't give a fuck so the way writing gear you asked me about. The writing directing how it came about was still

upstairs of stand up, I'm doing it. and I say I write a script. I write a speck script about detroit in the seventies. I write this thing based on my dad. Whenever, wherever a couple I give couple, production companies, a copper dues, read it one. Guy who's got some connections in detroit It thinks it's amazing and long story short. I get a phone call. Let me that this is how it started. My first like produced gig I wrote a movie called grounded, that's Paul and Jeff Daniel star in they crowded, actually they shot it before. I did my next to movies. That's a fact. businesses has taken that love this movie to get out, but anyway I get a phone call from a guy in Detroit whose connected whose it's a pistol. True story. Kid has a tragic accident. He writes about his life. It's one, the funniest fuckin journals, I've ever read, you'd love it. So get a call from the kid

hu the stories based on, and he tells me that and gilbert owner the cavaliers and cooking loans? Billionaire detroit ledger he's gone. I produced this movie he's going to finance it. Gilbert has a house in l a if I'm not mistaken, Gary gilbert does his brother I've been to Gary gilbert house when we do the shoot now I know it. I was eighty has yea alone around our ebene gary gilbert house. when I my best friend what my best friends grown up as a writer is his sister, his wife. Sisters married to Gary gilbert. I think or like that, oh yeah, or something like that. But so we went out there He goes hey come visit me, I'm in town, I'm staying at a friend's house and we went to it at his house and we took pictures like we were like kids line up around. It's an amazing how fucking amazing. So Gary is a film producer. He is Dan gilbert's brother, Gary physically produced the movie finance the movie. So why get a phone call?

the governments on the phone. You know we have a conference, call eyes, given my taken the movie, I basically pitcher my say this is little miss sunshine in a wheelchair. This is how I see this movie there going to fly you to Detroit and which is my home. He fly Detroit. I meet with Dan gilbert I'd heard about my he's. Allege. I'd already knew a bottom. I'd never met him, though, and we're The same neighborhood but he's like from like the nicer area of the neighborhood we start talking and it's like two hours later. I know all his like little brook his friends brothers and sisters and we'll talk about who the This is a real dude. You know, even though he's a billionaire he's like a real. Do you just like you know your dad? Did you get the pussy on Glenmore when you live here? You know he's fucking, one of us so, end of the meeting he's like a handshake deal he's like a call, your lawyer Monday. I'm hiring you to write the movie. I wrote the movie, they love gripped and they went out and they made this movie call grounded

We've hired aaron Paul play the king, the wheelchair Adam I will end and jeff Those plays a version of Dan who was this kid's boss and tat. tom Berenger is in the movie Tom sizemore is coming out like eight months. It's going to be coming out. After all the other shit I did it just took forever. He got caught up in some legal stuff and whatever Whatever happens, the movie will be out and that was my first foreign, into writing. I've gotten the writers guild from it. It was a movie produced after that movie I I worked. I've been friends with like dog alan from entourage for years, It connects you in your life. Yet, though, that's like, oh by the way that it I want to say a totally separate story, but, like you have a weird grew, celebrity friends that are like kind of unmoved anywhere in the world. love you have like a fuckin like

we're negative you're too naked LEO's house. We want to set out for us to do a photo, shoot anybody who shot. photos are the following and I think you'd like he's a real photographer perimeter like o o I was like. Oh, this guy is like a legit photographer. He shot it on something like nineteen thirties, camera yeah me. Meanwhile, shoot nor problems for the other american comedy to our LEO's house, crozier for He does his drops trolleys, but as naked at LEO's pool with nine of us. My goal is leonardo dicaprio walk in naked and go. This is the kind of guy to hang out with after I leave my wife and kid your whole. Thank god he wasn't in town, because your whole life will be different. Now, oh fuck yeah, I forgot I'd, be laying I'd be laying in a creative damn in that there is like we, this like under in Wall grotto of some sort on the cliff they could still end meditate to overlook hollywood was one of the cruellest fuck you two houses. I've ever been

yeah. I know he's got a great house so so movie comes along and its through a connection. I met, guys from playing basketball. That's truly how I met LEO doll, everybody I was in a basketball league. ten years ago, when I, when I got to l a you know, if I was in l a for a few years, I got basketball league through a mutual friend and they needed a fifth dude My team was fucking that was LEO. Kevin. Kindly Newcastle varies lucas house and just group of fucking hollywood dude, and I ball, so they'd like be on the team, but the furniture was I was still like. Intimidated, like I played cool like I played it cool to meet you guys, but I'm sitting back on I'm fucking from detroit european yeah, this mother fucker. screaming on a boat and titanic the enemy three years ago, he's a big star in the world, but he is the coolest. Do he's a super nice supercool do so that's how I meet those guys

in that league. Is it doug and is the creed the entourage before he did entourage he's playing ball with us. So became we all became friends, a good group of us, so two years later dog gets after does entourage and we're friends, he gets a phone call from like these rich do out a new yorker, a really good news, but wealthy It's fun guys they like We want to hire you to write a movie dogs like I cast a hundred thousand dollars or hundred fifty thousand or even write a script. So you should my friend MIKE young, whose just as funny and cheaper. So literally, I get a phone call he's dues out of new york and the like: hey man, we're think about it in the business. go and says we should call you and that you're a great writer, and that you, you know you know comedy, and we want to talk to you. They little fly away. I go to a fork, in fact I mean what factors delhi, the city crossing me at a table factors delhi, they start

tell me stories about their lives and their wives and they just say a couple hook hook theme to me and then I really have an idea yet so I said, listen are deaf. We want to do this. We need the money I want to do it anyway, because my dream is to keep writing movies and directing eventually and so day. They tell me that ideas. I said you don't give me a minute. You mean two weeks I'll come back to you with an idea to us, I come back with a with my man- is a loser that ended up with stay most Michael rapporteur. I can to us say how about some our single they're married. I said how to marry dues at our clueless in their marriage and they knew there boy to help him get their swagger back to reconnect with their wives, reasonable. In concept, you know It's not the first time has ever been done, but I have good take on it, because all my married friends were fucked up and they didn't know what to do. They didn't know how to live. Do you remember the time I called you on the plane? I was like this play? She wants to fight the crisis into a mike. I gave you a number of things.

by the way, the way I love you, that's fucking cool crushers. He calls me from an airplane public. This is it'll, be choosing up sitting next to a hot indian check out, what's going to happen, pushes fuckin horny she's, basically asking to get down I'm like I'm a single as can be, and I have no racism in me, so can send her my way? And you did your story? Was we weren't? We are What skills do you want to get out of here and go to a house you're like? Let's do it kind of a house fucking gave me head? I never talked to her again. I have no idea who she is. It was the that was I thought she was like plotting to kill me. It was an angel literally crusher sent angel so So I write so I pitched in the idea. They say: ok call my lawyer. They make a deal budget deal with writers, guild and next day I know they're actively look. For a director. You know. So I have the move. My wrote, my man is a loser they're going to make the move. and I can't believe this is happening at the time ongoing who the fuck has its figglepiff digging

it's. It's a five billion dollar move here for the vote. a million dollars and is really going to make a movie. So it's a book, easy blessing, and I thank dug out all the time for this because he really put me on this directing path from this movie so. I write the movie. They love it they're actively. Looking for a director at the time, I call the guy the producers of fellows ice. I trust, one hundred percent. I can direct this movie I'd never directly a cable fucker work, a camera advocate it. I can't even take a piss. I can't see I go one hundred percent. I can do this because I was reading books. I was reading about like perry, levinson woody Allen. All these do they started to stand up and transition into into directing in writing. So there I knew what they were and I knew it was all about. Them pacing timing, and if you could if you understood the story in the jokes, you were ok, so I said: if I get the dp? I can do this and they fully agree

and ass an old. They sign me up to direct the movie and now I'm fucking. Heading in directing of five million dollar movie. For my first electoral peace and all of a sudden. It's like game, I can't believe it and like money is like coming into my account, cause I'm on like a payroll from them. I've never seen this automatic money. I don't get first wiring of my life like I'd like you to may. If I give you these numbers, the monies. Go into my bacon. I don't have to do anything. I don't even trust. Wiring, like I trust, wiring money every week there can pay me, and I got my deals worked out from my lawyer and it's all good and next day. I know now we're starting to cast the movie and you not want to bore you with casting, but, like my dear, brain. I had you, don't michael report for always been dude. Wendy

discover michael rapid bullshit. I knew about rapid port when I was what I saw zebra head when I was in detroit now, seventeen years old or not years old. I knew about zebra. I was already a fan and then true romance hours. A fuckin factory, romas romance is where I think I fell Furthermore, I was like alright right. I think I'd seen him in the other in the cube movie about ireland, I have seen them in higher learning. I don't know if that was before or after I'd seen them in that, That's easy bread when I saw true romance. I was like this is he's amazed. He has its ability to translate like ability, totally so well and I was like in my head. I was like It's come after I'd, be totally say. I said to myself only be that guy or the guy who smokes pot here. Brad pitt

it's like I'll, be one of those guys that was like well, that's brad pitt, remember, buying nearly thirty one pounds from pretty good shape, but yeah Michael rapaport. I was and I just I just I was always affair. His and land and hop land was fuckin, leaves all great and everything everything he brings nativity vulnerability and comedy and darkness. He plays it like he was the purpose. for this rule. I had met but he didn't remember, and I was I started I I I got hold of his manager. I know who is it was. I was calling his manager saying we're going to make an offer to Michael rapaport, but I need you. I want to go, have lunch with them, because maybe he remembers me from an adult. Entertainment, lee basketball, because I did I played with a four year. So remember my name. So I hound is manager and I get rapid

where to meet me for lunch and he's like on a juice cleanse at the time, so so hollywood, but we meet at a juice place and he sees me right away. It's like oh shit. What up like? I, I forgot your name but he's like my marriage has a kick outta me you, gotta, meet my gun and really says it's too because of the usual some taken. My guilt, you fuckin mourns cassese. Fuck is why, given that I gotta be anyway, have lunch, we hit it off. As a brow. make you an offer. Obviously you will have to audition. I wrote this part for you and and if he said yes, I was and go back in and even make it more towards him locked up wrapper port. next, the idea we had two more main roles to cast. So you know the the two leads our european stay most and brown caroline are fucking boy from comedy, so Callan. Kalen,

they get count on his podcast, you can't even get carolina. He forgot, he did. The movie he's working out of his mind, so were for current right, I'm featuring for count in miami. I already I directing a movie, I'm keeping at low on that like bragging about keeping not really tone that many people yet, but the more time, but with town and thick Jesus. He is fucking perfect for this role. For this due to have so at coffee in the morning? O Brian is gonna sound, really weird, but I'm doing a movie, I'm directly a movie five million. Our movie he's shut the fuck up, nobody s forward. You talk ok, ok, whatever I said, I kidding bro we're gonna, make this movie you're perfect for this role. He's externally, the script was the semi, the script I'll read it tonight, word the coffee shop and in miami improv you know cocoanut glove so cowan. Ended up in the middle of all that he introduced me to some hot girl whose, like an heir to a, thrown somewhere. It was the best way.

Never, I forget, slept with an air heiress anyway Cowan raises script that night, we'll campbell No? No it's moldovan people go the battery major work, completely fine cool, so I tell it so one reads the script and he calls me the next why he goes do this? Fucking script is great he's like I love this role. He said I'll. Put myself on tape. I'll do this. I do that as a bright. You got. The part role on the director like unless they say no to you, you got it. So next year no boom, we ve got called the producers they collars manager and agent. They make his deal now. count, or rather for announced, the catholic, the lead single dude, and so we talked about like J. I don't I'm not and been directing at all? So, can only name fuckin, eight actors? I don't know all the actors in the world even to this day. People. Could you see in this role or my brow? I I don't know you I've rudy, only a little fuckers who so now

meeting, all the deuce for the single raw a lot of funny dues. What's his name tony tony here well from veep. Oh yeah he's awesome. We have lunch together and he you know he wants it and he's hilarious, but you know he was with the single do that I saw for this year with Marsden who's like a superstar, do I've seen that guy was he in morrison was in the notebook. I think he wasn't a guy that was gassing out. If I was like. Oh, I love that movie. Marsden was a local warlord like the x men movies over the years. I think I saw him she. It was the other day ass. I got a fucking start. We yeah he's a stud he's in trouble the guy can saying act, dance Solomon. I'm just bad at that on the same way. That's why I couldn't, while he's the first marsden or first james, o dude, do he's a fucking he's in fuckin. Is he is he in fuckin?

ex move. No western world here is where I saw make it last night you do now looking also does also later bad ass actor, oh shit, so so Martin someone said: get that clip forum and make new ringtone, send observers ringtone james, more than Is it wise world and lower recalls which, by the way The total nice guy stud do right. So they can bars and should should be the guy dammit yeah. yeah. He's he's uncomfortably good. Looking, you know what I mean like. I can only talk to marsden for like thirty seconds straight so anyway, so I'm thinking name's mars, so we go like the hollywood bullshit route and we mars, is agent and we Can we say we got our role and bob bob there? Obviously, thinking he's off to do bigger things which he obviously does done major things, but the bar It is mars and never even got the script. So his agent called and said he passed. I see,

mars. Do like two weeks later at a party, and I might Imagine you know cause they're like that. His agent said, I said, yeah marsden. He finally totally read the script. It's just not for him. I see Marshall mccabe role too bad. You know my name is mike young. I'm I wrote that script. My man is a loser. I wrote it, you know we would have been great to have something like that. He's like. I don't even know what you're talking about he's like my age My agents never gave me that script so fuck your agents bra, It's so they never even got it to them. Not that I would have done it, but that's how the game so they literally he never even heard of the movie. Anyway, we Looking for other guys, am I pay Just keep going. We love john stables and our wives, love john stay and every girl on the planet stated. I said you know I love Johnston was so because a new sag. It I've worked on the road bob sagging right the time and Called saga said: hey man, I'm doing a movie. Would you get the script to stay most

a story short thicket? He gets to stay most. I said if he likes it, we're gonna make him an offer. Hundred percent we're gonna make it, and so they get the stables and he To have lunch with me at the newsroom cafe on Robertson will be closed for a year now, but so I go Go to the newsroom cafe I hear combs fucking stamos. He doesn't look right on earth. You know what I mean he looks like he's in a movie at all times, he's got all sunglasses on sirius Xm, one timer walked by him and I was like fuck. Smells great. He smells on basic, like always clean eyes. You're, like you, don't look right well no like. Where are your flaws? Now he's dipped in fuckin carmel. You know what I mean he's just like. It no flaws, it's weird, so he walks into newsroom. Here comes john stables, perfect hair sunglasses any stone is I do I fucking love this script is that part is for me, he's a cop and look for. Part like this, where do you

he has no means that, where the fuck do you come from, I said I come from a war to stand of companies like I love the jokes. After lunch. I basically was like this is the do because we started talking about single experiences as he knows he he's out of their relations with iraq of yeah. At this point, he's divorced. Yes, right has been divorced for a few years now, so is back in the single game. Obviously, mice are fun single life comedy on the road. Now the rocker or should I talk? That's one level Some other vulgar has had a level of single heard I can't live on that charge. Aid single hood literally, like I'm, not that comfortable naked type of life like you're. This of the bunker lives naked to me like there's three girls, the house there's one in a jacuzzi, that's on pills, there's one that saying in a hammock balk at all times. He surrounded by pussy at this point, so and on our borders be spot john with yours. You know I mean like relax because I hope-

what could you say that John John, he has been abused by come. Defend yourself, come on my bug, fix on twitter effort crusher. What do I know what my watch comedies? That was one of the showtime special on november, eleventh at ten pm, you'll love Crisis may fit into the man cave perfectly. So after meeting stay most. We lock up stay moss and he is in and he's gonna. He tells me stories about being single and I knew The guy has his philosophy and single was whacked out he's yeah, you know like this data girl, you just gotta, get the three some out of the way. We'll get the free some other way. What the fuck does that mean you got away? have to girls with you just to make sure the one that he's all fucked up, his the way he thinks is. It was different, but he was perfect for the most to play them or single dude in the world fuck. Yes, he is so we lock up stables and We are at a callin callum- would be a good, Collins married but callum

I got a single person I wanted to I a like ireland. I really know I only know Brian in passing, like seeing each other like a like who did a progress gather in december, I met joey by like bright and early he's very relaxed, show that around a corner to me. Yes, oh and I know I know Brennan and end up I remember, hearing stories about calling undoubtably callin spots, but, like you do your folklore stories about. Caroline single yeah, like the type of girls he'd get oh yeah and you'd just be like I'd, be like this. Guy is real. Is he fuckin real, like I was we like he's real. Ah yeah he's one of them, but I told rogan the other night I go dude he's Gimme laughed so hard right now, listenin to fight, the kid they just him these commercials and like what they're doing on facebook live, and I was like Just organizer is making me laughed so fuckin all right now, calendar that's. Why we hire them, because I said you don't care, it is like the funny should not count as he is a good way. A great actor anyway

it's seriously late and he was getting real serious with me is like. Should I do for my character? I said Brian, I gotta be honest with you bro on this one I said, we're hiring you because you are the funniest fuckin person? I know in regular life. I said just cowan into this role like be you're, a reverent, ridiculous, fuckin self and you're good every day I said he'd say some different. She would have this my motivation to walked to the window, bryant Udall. motivation just be funny. Be you and be real, and I promise you gonna kill it, and so Yes, oh brian cowen fuckin killed. It gave him. The air was his first really leading role in a movie now we had our three leads and then we shot in new york, so we had got my three leads cowan, Stamos rapoport out of LOS angeles and there we headed to new york for production and that we started casting everybody, and it was just like Amazing train that, once you start when you're writing, indirectly a movie, it's a train

that does not fuck and stop, and your brain is walking in a zone because there's a hundred fifty people that work on a movie year. You gonna answer every question: what color should ensure peace should he have buttons page, nine and about every every much department has to report to you. So it's fuckin bananas Emmi and a movie. I left homeless. I was down thirty pounds that farc in mind my dry face, was at another level positive factor, but it worked out in it our great, and I just you know I'd. I read a book, books on directing which is dicky s eye nah shadowed, a couple friends or directors before the movie. I wouldn't like watch dome, and just I knew never gonna learn. The technical aspect of directing in fuckin in in six weeks, so I just learned like coverage angles, what shots. I like. I watched a tunnel movies of people. I love all the woody ours should I liked I will

movies that were like totally similar to what I had written and I just I gave myself a quick schooling and how to direct and boom, had it in new york and work and started casting in autumn reading actors in his pocket Maybe we're going from Munich, is comedians. We beg for shit, actors. We usually beg for shit and now I'm other side, and it's like now on the boss of this thing, and it was, really weird mentality for me, because I wanted to just give everybody a fucking job, like literally on their I'm too, sensitive to be like a real good arms, but inverse day and maybe like hey, did you hear three johns. I did yeah. I did sorry about that. You guys just go talk to them. You don't like to leave he bought one marie like Christ, I'm with you man, unlike some sensitive like that and everybody's good. Like you, gotta know

work and you start like looking at actors. These guys are like off broadway and on broadway, and these like real deal. So every they came in and read for the movie was fuckin awesome and so like just this amazing whirlwind that was happening and boom. We and we shot the movie near we shot at all over new york city. My first feature directing there's a tuft overshoot into. It was bananas, but we had our line producer, vince module. Who was like you know get the union's dinners could easily get all connected. He shot. Thirty move. before so when you, guy like that. That allows your shit. You have to have that we what we can do without you saw tv, we higher a fixture. Like where they would. I like to fixtures to just be like listen. You can't park over. we're gonna drop you off jumper. Gear will circle we'll be back to pick up when you done. Ok, we can park here if you want to set up like it was is just complicated. It is then you

guys like tat, because in a kind of success of the dynamic were it's almost like this gave like these The trucking unions in the transportation unions we kind of run the whole fucking business yeah we're not doing anything without them like we can't even get our equipment out of a truck unless they say so yeah. So here we are in hollywood. Thinking like we're hot shit, we don't get any without the fucking union guy zone or another right. You're therefore can put up a blog right in front of your set, a giant rat that look at the big cartoon. So it was. It went great man and it was like a dream come true, because I always train that out one day direct and right, like my dream, was a common true and you know it's never perfect, because there's thousand moving pieces, but we should my man is a loser and we send lions gate bought it like this big company. You know which was like another dream. Come true and you know: do you have the when it

when you're done with your movie in your in editing and you're, making your movie and as the director you know still you're, not the boss. You are the boss, onset you're, the boss, but when the end result comes out, it is the guys that pay the money. They are. The boy so. They come down whether they have experienced and movies are not taken, come and say we should achieve gonna change. This is cut. This is so you war. You gotta war when it's all you gotta have little wars and I always say like I'm: seventy nine eighty one percent happy with the way we turned out now and you never percent happy, but it turned out great, fuckin sold the movie, the lions gate, been out now for a few years and it was in theatres and did it killed it on itunes, like that hawaii tune world, and it was this pretty, in amazing, and while I'm not always good at accepting

praise, because I'm just wondering why it's going to see a therapist for awhile to figure out why I don't accept love the way I should but like I was interesting. I talked about that today. You know what I mean like what will we do feel agreed is out of the wood. It is with a figure that out of another pica, but Where was I was able get a lot of love. Lotta love day most was on. Every talk show talking about the movie. we radio station talking about the movie and cowell was on everything, talk and rapoport. They were all like out there talking about it, and it was like a beautiful love and I was you are still unlike work modes. I was unable to fully enjoy the moment, but you know we had a movie premier. In fact, in new york city the whole. thing, you know all the actors where there are five hundred people in a theater watch, the movie and it great man and then in the movie came out and its at this point.

over two million downloads of a movie wow, which you know at seven six dollars whatever that is a million out what it is, but you know my guy It takes a long time to get paid back on a movie, but it's been a real it it's amazing and then, from that movie, these working you know are not be a microphone brag fast, but like at that movie. Premier were too in, asters that I did not know were at my movie premier and they love the movie. After the movie, they came up and they were like we love your movie. We may comedies, we were taught you I swear to god. Weeks later. I got a phone call, and it was from a friend of mine who knew those guys- and these are my cannot get a boys- is its cars. What I'm the movie with you he's like t got anything and next day. I know I got the freedom to do a stand up. Guy and so I wrote. Oh, we await weren't, and I did I say:

the trail- if it s probably its debts and ethics right, yeah, yeah Hoddan did gangster? Go because a stand of comedian, yeah yeah, whose in it again Rapporteur nl, I am rapporteur, put him in everything, even simply from wolf a while you know my name is earl sagging. I gave saget apart cameo that hilarious J first and from mad men, danny danny ainge. Abkhazia plays the comedian, a group. Cordero from bronx tale like sick cast. Yeah So I say I know I'm fuckin writing my next movie and they got them on this one because I didn't get them but like they call me, and they were like had this idea that I said you know what I got an idea. based loosely it's terrible situation that happened in the years ago, when I got caught up in that the russian gas story.

Tell that story I'll, tell a story for sure and I'll tell you I taught a minute. So I had a story that happened to me. That was very bad and I got caught up with some bad people and I took a beating- is basically what happened. I'll. Tell you the story in a minute, but off that both that We should develop the comedy in my head because there was a moment of my life where I was having these thoughts like. If I ever went to the. If I d go witness protection programme. What I just stop being funny, so that was like that and colonel an idea, and I thought I would love to do a movie where, the guy who's in witness protection for somethin, put he's just a funny guy and he gets on an open mike lies in witness protection. Is you see, but you see that all the time would like guys imprison it's a real budget thing, Joey Diaz, following the teeth in prison, he's well he's a fucking funny is, do we know so there's something too and by the way Joe ideas was who I actually wanted fer to play the lead I want to join the eu, has to play this thing, but there was a

I I fucking couldn't get a hold of joy. it'll be a favor. You call somebody or I'll talk to you later, although yeah I'll call you thursday, it was, I couldn't fucking track his ass down and and then we just the train started moving so long. So boring, Tell them this idea said: guy goes in a witness protection on a dare he doesn't open mike and he becomes accident. the famous while the mob is trying to get up. So great premise stay and so boom we shot that movie. We fuckin saying the same. Where did my man is a loser shot brooklyn all over new york city, for a lot less money, it was a lower budget movie. It was just a super indian. Those awesome and I learned so much on my man is a loser that I was able to just move faster. I knew all the Virginia the beat. I knew how to do it. I kept moving fast and boom. We saw the movie to the orchard, a company called the orchard, they put the movie, and then netflix picked it up and bought it like for this

four months ago it gotta Netflix Eco watches stand of guy on netflix, which I've done forty times now to get myself eighty cents per download, not good water. Tonight yeah I did. I might have seen it, though I think, do that. Are you sent me that I had a premiere and allay- and I know I invited, like everybody, invited all the comics but you're coming we're so socially funny like and weird that, like no one kind of believe that I had a movie. So if you like, I got the movie premiere is a yeah. My guy got a movie premiere to, but they weren't really understanding that it's my fucking movie, and I want you guys to come part in this business. When you call someone like I had a tv show offered to me. They said we want. We want you to do with a girl and I ok, cool there like can you ask eliza was ache and by the way very shortsighted me, I definitely should have called her and said: hey through a tv show it's an offer.

in my head. I go she so busy. Cs almost gone on shows a movie bother with it's stupid tv show with me, and then I just like. I don't think I can go ask agents. I don't like- I asked Nicky glaser to do some work, in time, and I was- and it was a big mistake, my life on. Never do it again. I don't know I'm not actually never met Nicky glaze, I've, never matter I've man from my experience in mice Its is limited and I've been Maybe I'm maybe I'm very jaded in our sperience- maybe it's very one sided. Maybe I was a cunt, maybe stand office. Headliner! Maybe I was a fool drunk. Who does MR and I didn't, watch or set? Maybe I did all that I don't fucking know I was definitely drunk was always a married man. When I worked with these girls at WWW ladys women yeah, I was married, knows always fuckin. You know me dog event my killers. Get fucked up have a good time hell you keep an eye on you I'll make sure nothing happens do but she Well, my favorite stories. They have me in her that I is I it is my favorite,

Key glaser story. I can't tell it tell it, but I won't tell it because, because I'm If you want me to tell her, I'm not I'm not can assume anything with anybody anymore. I rather like she. We worked here richmond in orlando. Unlike those and I has had such a good fucking time go to lunch. bullshit about comedy and I was really good friends with amy at the time I think yeah. I was really good friends with Amy Amy used to come out and stay in our house vacation and my wife, for calling me and go here. Our house is open, do want to stay here. auditions and- and Meetings and amiable was broken. The time not broke, but a free up yeah, really nice hell yeah right now, and so she would be like ass. You stay at our house for couple weeks. our hamster literally to this my daughter's when this year on tv, go she killer, fuckin hamster didn't veto, no. No, I think we of amr My recollection stories kind of data because we came in with like

these are all damages left a note that said I am for dead, shook off see you later. Only a little girls could read on top of the cage. Amsterdam. I'm a nobody knows how the hell, god will we had to give it shots like who gives a fuck answer salts and my It was like, I think my wife left it. Amy was like you got it one shot and it'll be fine, and I think she gave it then it's spine or maybe didn't give it a shot. Maybe my wife forgot to give it a shot, but it fuckin died a home, and it was they show of emotion from my kids. That is terrible, but I'll I mean I I've. I've always looked at him is friend first year like and like I would do a shower poorly. She come out and just not to see me to stay not to do as guess at two like come to the club to wait, green room so that when we got We go to my hotel room and party yeah alike. we'd, go to my hotel. Roberti hang out with.

At the at the airport, the next day, just a cool ass year, always man and but once again I don't know how I behave. I've talked to Amy and fuckin for four years. how you like, I'm I'm your people get busy. There is no obvious she's think of the same thing. We had the best time and she progress. You know four years pass the unknown he's been on a train. The last summer lies- or I think I said I wanted to do. cast his she touched me was Ike. Can we just go for a hike or something she's a guide. You feel like doing press. Has I've been, don't don't I don't wanna ever. I don't want you to feel like I the I feel like that for me like it's such a that's, why I don't like doing a fuckin park. Ask I feel so embarrassed to ask people to do my part. Guess my cousin the year- two million. I asked Nicky due to my progress that no other issues like doing podcast anymore and I was like Foch jewels

Maybe it's me now that I look at this baby now, overall, its not the construction of the house. I said something I know I've pissed. I know I pissed off because I came in and she was on the treadmill one time and I videotaped a videotape videotaping her and I came round. I was like hey and she was like. Can you re right, fucking all signed this tribunal in a hole in the road and those like I'm sorry since it. No, I just don't want anyone. I don't want to be of me working also, probably falcon me. It's probably me lovingly, I'm sorry of whatever I do I don't remember what it was, but but I'd I get it sure you're, not jewish. You got killed in. Like me, did I do I am here sweet soul. That's what it is, I'm an I'm, an array of giant, I'm a nice guy and I feel, like I feel, like sometimes in this business nice guys get beat up or you know it's like it's like I dunno size, this I've never been the kind of guy that, like I want to do

number two text, him my whole fucking life and work I've hung out with them, and I very easily at any point to the said I know your number yeah that will do it. We figure out, give me your number yeah. I would never do that this weekend. He texted me he did. Ok, some your number and I was like who over tat. Man is the greatest here. I got asking what to do. My part gas worm in new york. Never ask him. I won't ask body that, like that, I feel that I would be, but I asked my friends yeah people working party with Like a tell. I tell tell one of those comedy mines that, like I was lucky enough to open my open for him back in the day when I was had the same manager for a moment in time and he put a featured for a itself like three weeks. and it was one of those ties roused like quito. You comical so good and says such crystal clear, fuckin. Amazing jokes, you start quoting I'm sorry it was like what other role was tell our

call my friends back in Detroit? Let you got a fuckin here with this guy saying like listen to this. quoting him like. I quote, movies I quote like classic movies. A tell is a beast, Now we are, we had some on the road I we had. We deftly had some fun. I me and I'm over his work ethic but no one talks about, because I will remember I was like I didn't, really know him well, I was just opening because we are the same manager. I was David going to go to a movie like he's like now, I'm like. What do you do all day is Iraq. I sit in the hotel and I write all day he just rights I as like. That makes sense because you got your hand, do jokes. Last night I was turning the big j about it. You can see it in his legacy Then I say you got. It's like, in a word way, would buy whatever tag he throws in that night. You're like welded, DR on alone, on expressway today, because it all this shit I saw. It was like stopping at a at a at a duncan it's in the set lagging yellow, yeah. Well, that's, that's varies

bigger, yet nobody how can best A great mind, but we were we would wish, talking about the inspiration for the four, stand up guy. This is if this is so that so that by one Do I will tell you a hundred percent, so go we're in atlantic city, roll outside share stories I think I might have hold the machine story sitting out on the other is one of the greatest fuckin days is all of us. all from the young american commodore, all fucking, communist or comics. Also For me, at the time ross, down with a shared stories, and it's like I was in for rolling stone magazine I got by with russian. I fear I thought a bare and everyone's ike woe and then there. No and they're, like you got your stories given her heard story, what I remember were sit on their shortly thomas story. My mouth was: fuckin a gate, the whole fuckin time

the tale that won't leave it's the story. You know: I get home, I hesitate to say tat to tell it only because- still people around that we're like involved in it change, the city that it happened in multiple times and basic others. I africa, I'll, tell you. This was the inspiration for the movie a stand up guy and it's also the inspiration for a lot of things that have happened in my life. It's why I live life. the fullest. It's. Why did a show. I'm writing a short film. That's in that vein also is something I need to fucking get off my chest constantly because it part of me so bad that is just shit that you gotta just the more I talk about it, the better. I feel because further couple years. I just had a paranoid does paranoid. It was now So basically I was like

I m, seeing a night in in allay somewhere else. I was the embassy in hollywood, outspoken, rock and a club every wednesday I was a host of a comedy night. They were doing comedy and carry oki. It was a club, become popular and it was becoming like the hottest night in outlay and it Like all of a sudden. You look up in this fuckin hefner in the play, mates in paris, Helen and Maria carry sing and carry oki invoke it it's become in some hot shit and all my books LEO kiley toby, Maguire they're, all their now it's become unlike real hollywood shit at the house. I'm the guy on the microphone. one night, I'm fucking, do my thing and some dude sings karaoke oki seem like a real nice guy and Five minutes later a fuckin. I see somebody get hurt, someone head, but some that guy and the guy goes signally across the floor. So the guy fuckin but some and I jumped down to like, jumped down in the mix and I d go get brow. What's needle calm down, relax, brow and the guy,

tell this too, was like a big duties in a suit and It's got like this air about them. That says real, confident and real comfortable to tell me to go fuck off and so he's the type there's I can say, go fuck but it comes up energy back off, ban yeah, there's a nervous spoke often and there's I'll kill you comfortably and you won't even do ye. I can. I have your step on you and I'm not a little guy of six to and dude is like I'll fucking kill you. You know the fuck. I am he's talking this kind of crazy shit and he's put his hand, like over. My head is waving it over my head and I'm feeling threatened not like this head, but somebody he's definite a bite. My face off is that his next move so dumb damn detroit mike than I am to myself. If I get one good shot and on this guy I'll get the browsers just they'll. Take em outside will be done. Acca keep go with the cavity fund night of hollywood. And so I fuckin faint back with plant my right foot and I fuckin head on and I hit

the jaw, and I catch him and like the ear where the ear connects to the jaw and he fell. go sailing any go sailing into a booth and Now it's on and he's kind of he's kind of going out like he's sort of an almost unconscious, but he's still a little conscious and I'm now I laugh like when I go, I go and I fuck and pick up a speaker and I thought I mean I'm an idiot. I pick up a speaker now. It's a malay and I fuckin smashes speaker on his body and I, like how do you know what I was doing? I was pushed it item. I threw the speaker down. I grab them on the ground- and I was like this and then I said the fuckin corneas shit that I've ever said my life. I look this motherfucker in the eye and he's come into an echo your row. I read this place and he falcon looks from the ground. He just looks at mainly goes. I fuckin own this place and it turned

and as soon as he said, that I had heard stories about this dude who owns this place and he's a fucking bad model. hocker as you do not want to ever fuck with this guy he's. A real gangster are connected bad ass. Dude and so all this time going through my head, while I'm on top of them, I'm like! Let him I'm thinking to myself like if I let him punch me a couple of times, maybe he'll feel better. I'm like letting him try to like hit me and he's not getting me swinging, but he's missing all the there's like seven of his goons from the back com and there and marching towards the pile and six of my friends who are fucking. Poets, tap dancers and authors are coming from the right side. You know what I mean and they're fucking in sweatpants and couldn't beat up anybody and it's a pile of is a pile on me and of somebody drag. My boys drag me out of the pile throws me out the back door, the place and the last thing I hear of say is your bro. You base

They just hit john gaudy junior, you gotta, get the fuck out of town and I start run through a backyard I'm running through a vulcan neighborhood in hollywood through a neighborhood. I'm fuckin. Do us a movie shit, I'm happen, fences, I'm dumb switch it up. My pattern like I know that there are in the streets with guns and they're looking for me, And so I fucking pop out and santa monica boulevard. Somehow I see a cab in the middle of the street panicked. I don't even think bout like like Getting hailing a cab, I'm jumping in that cab, even if those people in the cab I fucking go I've jump in the cab but there was nobody in it. I said. Take me to the car but he store- I don't know to hide, I thought and go to the car restore an option. and now I'm get now. My phones blown up and I'm getting phone calls and the like your brow, you gotta go to dinner one of my boys a bookmaker. He caused me like yo bro. I know the guy you gotta disappear. For three weeks you gotta go to detroit, pretend you

exist disappear. Will light will keep you pay what's going on here, but right now they want to fucking, kill you and you ago and saw I'm like I'm thinking it was you bar fight and I was saving the fuckin bars. What I'm thinking and somehow be rational. Do you know what I mean, the control of Lula online. That's what I'm hoping it's not that but the comedy store and remember: I'm fuckin, there's blood on my neck from scratches mahars all fucked up. I look and that my shirts ripped in half I look at the first person I see is tripoli and he's I do what the fuck happened, motorcycle accident, as no man, gangsters or after me the trying to kill me and I've working go, and I hide in the back of the com in store and now There's like plans are being in the motion to get me, and it was it got real, and so I'm gettin full costs in the place and my boy like Kevin curly was their and, like your browser, this isn't good the guys can't hear he spoke in his

His ears fucked up uneasy, haven't pain in his ear, but he is king. So maybe I'll call you back we'll keep posted at the time the o, my movie star friends, were at the place. They were to him and vote for me and basic: go your brow! Please don't kill him. Please don't get you know don't hurt him he's a good do a committee. Eighty days that in this world the other doing all they can to save me. Night goes on, I realise that my car is there my car still there in valet, I call LEO Leo, maximum hours ago, bra the only one that can find get my car there like with any issues have one: boys get it and I'm I'm at the comedy store and so all of a sudden twenty five minutes later I swear to god it's ridiculous, but a miracle

Fucking, leonardo, dicaprio driving my hand, a cord for door up through the comedy store backlog, whoever's run in the lot of the time. I can remember who was his, what the fuck is leaning over the capping of dealing here, why she's hand a cord it's over pulls up in my car, with all my boys or in the car they're saying is. Do that was the hardest part we ve ever seen what the fuck I heard it from back of the room disguise, shape we gonna fuckin, save you. This is not good, so I'm getting those Full forecastle LEO brings the car. I keep my car there. They go back to the past. because my boy was dj, who I was good friends and they kept him there. They didn't. Let him leave he's like one of my best friends was the dj and they just kept him the horses, like you, ain't goin anywhere until you tell us were MIKE, is so, getting nervous shit, I'm fuckin panicking cause, I know allays not my town. If this happened

detroit, I got my people around here. We're gonna be good. So my boy whose, like the bookie air. It had Lou. I'm just going to put this like. It happened in a different type of city like I'm, not telling you one hundred percent of the truth, because these people are out not I don't want fucked with, but like this actually how it happened, but my boy who is a bookie? He said you meet me at this restaurant at Thirty in the morning, we had a talk and he know the dude from his world, that's that they know each other and the underworld they're all they all know each other. So I meet them and I go see him just me and him were sitting across from each other and he's like first thing he says, is you're probably going to have to take a beating. I say this the guy. You have none Oh my dear boy, you're follows that yeah knows his whole camp, he's negation for me. It's like negotiations, our emotions, so he's a you're gonna have to take beating. I go brow. I gotta be honest: I'm not taken a fuckin free beating, I don't like it puts in the face. I can't take paying very well I'm a fuck comedian,

I might be know how know how to box, but it's because I learn how to back so I didn't have to get person the face. So You gotta, go back to the table. Rowan figure this out. So back and forth back and forth, and it Finally, I get a car from one of my boys is a yo. We got this shit down to a sit down. You're going. somewhere out near you know, past hollywood veto out east working. Down in the afternoon. All you gotta do is apologize. So in the meantime, I'm com, my call, my godfather detroit who's, connect, a guy. I put him on war, you know noticed his is happening. I tell my bra what's happening, I cos people. I know from the east coast like this- is real gangster shit and I call my in the east coast and there, like we ve heard of this guy, we could take care weakest squash. This, for you don't worry and they could possibly squash because they were kind of high up in the rankings, but I didn't

let him do it because I thought in my mind I thought I heard this dude, no matter what he says he's going to get some day. I you don't you weren't, you wanna our rather rather take the fuck embedded off. Let's take combating yes, he was going to happen here. So we down or suppose it sit down and it's all up for a monday and this whole thing happen on a wednesday. So I got these five days in between does figure my shit out so I put everyone on blast. Everyone's now notice, everyone's on call. I got my girlfriend of the time. She's panicked there's no. What's going on and I decide on just gonna go in and I am going to face the music. I talk to my brother about it. I talk to you about it outside whatever happens row I know I don't think he's gonna veal. Take me out because I got his number and, as you know, we all know where each other lives. It would just be a bad thing for everybody. If that happened, I said I'm just gonna. Oh I'm just gonna, take it so in between the five

Yes, I'm sending fucking gifts of sir I'm sorry. I've sending flowers of sending t shirt, a bottleneck, a universe of arizona, hooded sweatshirt out, if you like, your baby nobody, I went there, you know I'm just try and all my shit. I write letters. I'm sorry, I did know as you have so sorry. So I send letters I send, gives the whole something like. I'm set myself up good for sit down so much cause we meet up at my boys, place in our one of my act or bodies will meet his house. And we're all former boys of their work everyone's pacing around. In a couple. My friends like, I can't believe you got. we sit down or so lucky one The bodies is like this is terrible. This guy's dangerous. I don't like the way this feels long story short, we get in the car me and my one body we get in the car and we can roll down we rolled on the hill. We had out east. We go to this place, sarah, lunch.

I go, we pull up the place and the place is locked in the front as fully locked, padlock, she's, locked dark me. She does locked up yes, so I go around back. We go back on leading the way I go around back and I opened the door and right away is the do. I see I opened the door but he's right in front of my face, and I see him and he's like fuckin when a turtle knack of these big fuckin menacing looking looks like he wants to go to work like he's either get in working out or he's about to work up. He gives an athletic gear and so I just start a power swept answer: having served her shut me while I'm, you know the comedy mind, never shut off my mind. Like that's a great surprise. It breaks out your shoulders. You mean you're dealt like you. Look fuck and strong apologies and when I see him, I'm just a fuck apologizing under the come, Sir John, sorry brought so sorry blah blah blah, I'm a public.

spewing. Apologies, he's gotta worry about. It talked to me over here. Any fuckin sends me into a room and like a bigger room where there's a restaurant area and it's all dim lights, and this fuckin know joe. italian music playing on a fuckin on our stereo system. And its I walk in, and there is a six foot, five monster with a nine millimeter and next to him as another, six four five monster with a nine millimeter and there pacing around the guerrillas, with guns and they're, not even like uncomfortable they're, not no one sure this is like David, everyday business for them and their am I am I mind I'm going like us. gonna like that's a real gun like I'm taking, that's, not a toy, it looks heavy Yes, they have effort to like hold onto it, yeah, and so Obviously this is not going the way our plan

and in my superhero stupidly wrangling. Are we really gonna do lunch? Are they really making us later? They had great seven early to eat but seriously zero the kill. I'm gonna fuck died. You know I am well so fucking, two monsters that's the guy baseball had pulled down the fuckin giant moustaches. what can real undercover and update and they got sunglasses and I'm like thinking they might like? I'm thinking you don't need sunglasses, it's already dark here, and basically they fuck just aim at me. They put one of them, aims the gun and I'm thinking like, I think to myself like I can, my mom here that I got killed in a fucking place. out in California. I guess how I go out. I can have this habit so, while the as a dangling at me. It's like like eight feet away and I can really get near them want to, but, like I am thinking, I'm thinking

while the karate videos I've seen and I'm like? If I could disarm him yeah? That's what I'm thinking. I know the slap it's it's hands. opposite directions, not the gun out, put the gun it yeah. That's all! Do I'm thinking of smoke the gun fuckin start shooting! That's why? they share. That's the thoughts they gonna go through my hokosa unthinking. He could give me, I could be done god that's not what happened, but they are. We see this. Let me down, they put me in a booth and they to work and they fucking they put me in a boat. They slammed the table up against me and they just fuck and go to work on me and they fuckin star blasting away and the fuckin first punch homer fuel in the first part and I swear to god. I thought to myself great punch flocking to make that's what I thought This guy's gonna fuckin heavy head like like it, fell, not good but like solid, like I'm like this mother fucker is heavy any black

didn't good, and then all I felt was like little tit tat like all over my face, Obviously I was out like did they not me out and they fuckin, you know, I started I you know I kind of was unconscious, but I was feeling the blows and I fucked Came to you now I came to and when I came to I looked down and I slipped my shirt and I looked at my shirt- and there was a river of blood like I was just like I'd- never seen that really much blood and I played hockey at by a lot of blood, but this was like a river my fuckin look at the blood and, unlike the there hold the table away, I have my hands free sites feeling. My limbs, you know I just come kind of checking. My lipstick and like am I am I broken. Am I shot? I didn't know what was happening so I felt my limbs. I felt no pain no real physical pain, so I'm thick Oh my god, I'm ok, I'm, but I'm ok, What I didn't realize was the power of adrenalin. Unlike the how right

that should is. There is no drugs. The tops that so feel shit. I'm cannot come to waken up and I'm still mumbling arms. Apologies, hey man, so why do we have to do so? Sorry, man of source, our work for free? I was saying crazy, shit and pay. There were just like I was beat the shit. I was factor. and they stood me up and there like stand up and I stood up is a gimme, your shirt, I fucking, given I start taking my shirt off, and they have a shirt ready for me. They literally havoc another shirt and I'm been aware, and they give me like a fuckin, fresh beefy t white t shirt that likes me his brand new, and it's like you, know, you're so conscious. When this is the ideal, the finite things you remember and

I will put the shirt on a big it like I would work out in this pathetic, doesn't breathe as much as I'd like you to know that those thick ones as I think it is a three hour. Ninety nine should you could it got me like a better assure you know, I'm like wearing, like a heavy, should carry out we ve for twenty one march. I know what you got to serbia bottom in college, in money, so I with the shirt on and I'm fuckin delirious, I'm kind of standing when I'm off boys in the row. He still there. The do here. The dew was with me and I dare basically gimme your license, give your fuckin cell phone and I'm taking like. I don't want to I'm thinking like at all. So I lie I'm I don't have it. I didn't bring my license and they do fucking the gun on my head, like you just put a temple, like bang alike, can put it all in all it hit me. little bit with just a tap and I up with my license and cell phone immediately, which I forehead both red.

The available and I'm sorry this is their licences of all of us is a bouquet of flowers. I hand and my shit, and they like get the fuck out of here and basically like other walking me out of my way out the door to other. Where door, the one do with the gun. Fucker puts it to the back of my head and tell me again on the back of the head. He says like some damn shit like in allegation but one in your head like that's exactly, what he said and death I like having a real gone up on your head. That could go off. Is a bad fuckin feeling and I'm sick to my stomach. While this is all happening and as I'm leaving, I turn around one more time when I say to the guy yo bro, why like? Why do we have to go here? I basically I got a hit you once and I know I hurt but like was you over? Did it at length sayer? and he basically just like looked amigos. You're. U ruptured my airdrop, he goes were even

he's like you've ruptured my ear dramas there. Any points to his ears. I can't hear so he says that so were even like we're just eat where'd, you dont, lose you fuckin airdrop yeah, I russia's airdrop, and that was it. We were even and obviously it's a file in terrible story. The and the lesson that I took from that store and obviously I go outside, in the car. I look at my boy. Go yo. Is it bad luck? I didn't see what I look like. I pull. He goes it's its. My was crying grown man, crime and he goes its bad brow. It's bad and I pull down the rearview mirror. I'm in the passenger see- and I look at myself and I look like the fucking elephant man. I mean I looked. figured fucked up to the plate I'll! Never looked normal again, that's what I'm thinking we go right to the hospital. I go right to the emergency room, get in there and they look at me and they will be right in there's no paper work on this one like this motherfucker he's got a brain injury. I look out a bad accident. I get there,

I tell everybody, nobody that was, I was mugged. I got mugged, get mugged. We'll me in they lay me now doktor stitches me up. I got twenty seven stitches broken up face. Oddly enough He did not. He was trying private break with what I broke. somehow he was a kid me so clean that it didn't break the bones but a year? wrote my nose slice good and just fuck my shit, up and they lay you got me in the room. Doktor sold me up and the only crazy, real pain. I ever had from this whole thing: physical was when the oh no, my nose because we're stitched up my nose, we're going within novocaine into the nose bone dash. It was terrible I was the first time I've me out. I was bad pay so born they stick me up. They fuckin sheriff comes in asked me about the mugging What would happen? I'd give my story. They take a bunch of pictures of me. All of a sudden.

extras. I know that didn't hear from me. They went to the door. Went to this place. They start visit the place now they're. Looking for this dude and now- a whole new set of sir chances, are like emotion that I don't even know about. Oh shit, people that, like her love for me that we're like worried about me, I didn't hear from me when I was over. They start looking around town, furred homeboy, as so you know It gets it gets crazier and longer, but thank god, nothing else. Physical happened. I never wanted him. He never came back me. The lesson I learned is if you are not involved in a fight- and it has nothing with you told I thought get in the middle. You I give a fuck if you are the embassy of comedy thirst It ain't your night dude, a work for higher and this that's one of two comedy fights yeah

the other one was bad. I remember that yeah. I remember that I was in miami. You guys were in west palm yeah and one of the worst former fort lauderdale. I forget where motherfuckers just like to punch me in the face burt and air. I think aaron called me. Probably she's like what happened to MIKE young last night cause. She goes. What did you guys do and I'm like huh yeah and I got nothing. I are we talking about. I'm in miami she's like no you guys went out last night. You guys got into a fight what what happened in those ike the girl now and then I called earth and he's like dude. Rather but all it was bad. I mean Hey I hate to solve the comedian gets beat up alone in put both are lemon russian, the guys you're dramas techno, you can see the euro. Your falls in that, yet you, but the other one was needed. Nothing, nothing! You nothing! Nothing! This is like. This is what this is, The reason I don't like going out to bars with fans.

Go eyeing of the improv cause. I know there's always like a bouncer watching me to hang out at the comedy club and I'm good but like, but it changed. My life That is not one that would change my game. Wes palm young carmody tour falcon me run as easy, SAM Tripoli, air ticket, There was a little bit but not steve. I think, three of us and then they gave us a local opener shows that it was our two or so. I think we the three of us here you'd. They must have called MR called the renaissance, you're, Tripoli yeah. So the three of us, it's thursday night, wes palm beach, improv, we're doing Why why haven't got bought in lahti, improves over the fuck, but yeah yeah What do we do? A show, thursday night and some hot beautiful girl, fuckin rules up army after the show and just

like. I always do. If a hot girl rolls up, we talk, we hang. I got no reason to believe, there's a stalker among us or anything happening. We do the show she's like hey my friends on this bar next door to the improv. You want to come next door and martini, go to the blue martini, we're fucking, sick, there. He I'm in the booth when the vip in the back section in the booth chick. Next to me, fuckin holding my arm rubbing my like we're dating tripoli next to her a girl, gretta Z. Another girl, so we're all got girls were. I haven't a great time, renders It goes to the bathroom. Tripoli goes to the dance floor with his girl, I'm alone this girl, maybe one of her friends, and I'm literally just looking at her and literally I swear to god. I'm thinking to myself how great Is life I've been west pallaby? to doing comedy for a living, and I got a beautiful girl next to me. No sooner as that thought fucking on my mind than bam, I get fuckin, sir, I punched a left field. I don't see it

I don't know where it comes from. I thought I was having a brain hemorrhage, because I literally it felt like some. Hit me with a hammer and I'll run It offers an unjust gettin blasted ban bam and its color. And I will see anything I cover up a car like have enough sense. Like cover myself, I stand up to look to flight and see what's happening and I, see anybody. I see a guy with a skin head like a skin A guy I see twenty feet away, running out of the door like he came, he blew up my ass and he was gone. I did not even see his face, nothing, the guy, next to me is like crying screaming crying, and I remember while it was happening she was like kicking and son, Tripoli had seen the fray and came over me like what the fuck what and it happened so fast dude was gone although and I just got fuckin the shit beat out of me by a sucker punching maniacs and so on.

Girl is crying. I'm see, I'm sensing that she knew so that was her cries kind of fake her. The wishes kings, kind of bullshit and she's its work in talking, and I just and then on this one of this one, I'm actually more hurt than other. This one was a funnel God knows chip door, but all I got me good just out of nowhere and and so whatever we're looking at this girl fuck was she's not coming up with his name. But her friend is like it was her ex boyfriend and he's a crystal meth head he's myths. Can ernie's violently pushes around her piece of shit. So I said you I'm going to go to the bathroom, see what I look like. I'm all cockeyed fuck the broken knows get in here comes an ambulance from my gown work. I shall be spots in my fucking five hospital. You should do as these responsibility that micro stretcher tour. I swear to god.

Just come on a stretcher which does not really started so fucked up and beat up? I'm in the bathroom I'm depressed now, because I'm takin like how can I get beat up twice in my life? It's weird man. I don't for the one thing like that people, but have you ever been beat up it's it's immediately depressing its immediately like fuck. How that happen. It got my spirit dude it it out. I used to have a joke about saddam Hussein was beat up enough because, is someone knocked his dick in the dirt. He might have been cooler total. you know that you can tell osama bin laden was a fuckin rich. Kid never got his dick knocked at the door. No doubt getting up as a mentally fucked up thing. It does some good lessons if it doesnt permanently damaged you, but this motherfucker got me. So I got his name. I got as addressed right away and the beauty,

thing about being a stand of comedian. Is you meet all kinds of beautiful, dangerous people on the road that love you and you get love from motors? clubs and you give love from prisoners and you get love from ex cons, then for work again. It is true. You know that you are sure you got love rang out, you know I will not give them we decided hung a noble. We hung out. Now we get in a much more call in electricity with with them those are my say. One's name everything, but with some with some really seedy. skinheads, yeah and, and they came in our show yeah. They wanted to go party. We- would any of us were aware they were skinheads now it'll is way too late, and then we were like oh fuck, reporting was skinheads, might choose bread these days and we gotta get the fuck out of here and I'm the only one that, like guys, are really cool stick around and then

and then I those skinner, the same skinheads used to come excavate. yeah. Would come to my shows and in certain neighbouring villages and men. Those guys we're like you have guy and a move they were like die. like comedy fancies. Come they come to be like a number one guy. Probably a paradox probably knew socks healers, me, man would like new socks. They brought me like a thing socks and I was like hey thanks and he was like no, no, no, I always got your back and I was like am I was like. I had a death threat and I was like that's what fucking call hell yeah. He doesn't give a fuck about doing a stint from the bulk yeah make a laugh. He'll do three years for a walk yeah you do meet, really really fucking crew. Easy people out there, but that's the beauty of what we, new because you supply carmody to their life and it's like they got your back down. It's a good So when I went down there were

people in town that we're like literally like call me going your mike. Listen, it costs you twelve hundred dollars. Wolf walking, go to a place right now and take pictures for you will and do everything to him. I'll give you pictures will paint for wall paint. A picket will do whatever you want we're. Also we are boys grew up down there. Yeah there's like that's. The other thing is that, like I get fucked up in detroit, someone goes somewhat. First immediately calls you, you call your brother. Your brother calls me hey we're right in town. How can we help toll and that's the way that that is the crazy thing a lot of awful thing in north carolina and I had friends called friends to come, get me in north carolina. Don't worry, we'll get you to the hotel, I'm like. Don't worry, I got it, but that is the crazy thing the beauty of poverty in our europe. So we get beat up poor, we got, we got it. We got a lot of people who got our backs so that

weekend. I got the call from our of one of our friends, I'm like essays navy, but like one of our friends colonies ago, you just call this dude and they'll go get the guy and I I can just check myself, because the police were already involved. I just held back from doing that dirty shit and I d I didn't oh that motherfucker, I still got him on rate. Are to this day. I love. You knows. Facebook factor here he tries to stay or facebook is. I think he knows that Alex are certainly him for ever. I wonder if we admit your friends no help at all. We don't but anyway long story short. I had him arrested. I had locked up I had a weird trial date set, and so we were getting ready. I got a month or two later, whatever I had to get, I had to go back to miami for trial. My bags are packed I'm going against the guy. I know floor got some shady shit, like maybe he's connected down there with police and maybe he'll get off somewhere and feel good about it, but the night

or trial. I get a phone call from his lawyer and he's like you. He wants to settle with a number and we want to when a pay this out- and so I basely took medical bills. I quadrupled em attacked tacked on another no little few dollars but the number of hours comfortable with I fuckin facts back that blogger faster to them. They signed off on it, and this fuckin poor white piece of shit had to go like his parents like we finance their house. They do all kinds of to pay me off every. month. I was getting a cheque from the florida department corrections. And it was the fuck yeah and it was just I I I I got them for like a year or two of his money, fuck that guy yeah I always say that that fuck, that guy, because if jealous over a chick and you're, going to have Dude was not even just going! Nowhere. you don't know me if you

it. Just literally asked for your girl back, I would have handed her over bro like, and I don't even know this girl, but there's a lot of times. You're at a club and a fucking beautiful chick just starts talking to you and you and by the way- like I dunno what I dunno. What renesas renesas situation was at the time by guarantee you he was a fucking anybody. He was just sitting at the table with a check yet, and I don't know if he was where he wasn't, but if he was married he was just been like me: sit at a table with a chick. That's it just fucking, chilling, yup and and if you'd ever say to me man, that's my girlfriend. I go dude. I am not trying to fuck your girl hell, no, not at all so that that that so that happened and then you start to like I started to like I got depressed after that one because I was just like I started to think like is it me like a bad twice suit. I do that alone, or is it me and then what am I saving graces was actually went now. I read this book. I killed by about the comedians around the road. It was

the sailors in it demands in it to good, also do just a great book, and it's about there. we'll rapid, oh, no! No! No! No! No! I'm just! talking about all the improves. I got my I just come improv offers here, and there are like revived offers nose like is low, or higher, who knows the fucking deprives so we our thinking is it you can't do that to myself. But when I read that book I saw a book our comrades and a bunch of the guys we looked up to in the game. Who did the roadway before us similar situations happen. So What it is is it's that you're, a fucking free, radical as a comedian, you're alone you're on the road you're in a town. This, not yours, going into people's drinking at nights, drinking hammered nights, chicks, dig you because you're tellin, jokes on stage is: do you even if your married and I must say- and I am currently working on old riding a pussy, but you do get jobs and the end and here's the other part that stocks is

those good. Sometimes you don't want to stop. You girl comes at a bar. Are you fucking, amazing, she's gorgeous You're, like I wouldn't mind, hearing object great. I am for ten minutes, feels amazing in your initial. Why you do that is free radicals are great red representative of what you are, because you do go, Like I always say look I saw somebody a throne through a window in in hartford, and I was like us by the way that- was just at my show? It was just that my show. How did I my art, turn him in. Place reads like fuck you and then You like me, you're, always at the bar until the end of the night. They start cutting people off people like I remember this black yell at the part and a europe wide piece of shit and the bartender like a fuckin go and you're like oh you forget, the bartender might have some issues to toll. It's like everyone that works. There is just as broken as me, or all the drinking his name of their lives. I hate that shit man. I do not like I that's why I'm like aggressive with my stand up and, unlike in like trying to fuckin right, take people

or because I know I just one of a good time. I want to have a good time. He s my point and give a fuck what you do with your night. I don't fight. I want to drink. I want a laugh. Oana giggle go home or wake up and go to Jim. What are you subway will come back to no show. I want to get home sunday. I want to see my fucking kids. I want to coach softball. I want to fucking go to the rams game. I just want to have a fucking fun life. Absolutely that's exactly! I couldn't agree more. I want that exact life and that's that's. I feel like we've kind of paved a way to have that life puts These things will happen and what it did to me is basically made me scared, but I'm not a more timid, and I don't like Pardon me, like I, don't like to be socially timid be more socially like fun. I've never pick a fight. My life, I've never pick a fight, I've been in them, they happen I got a bitch look and face like some people. Just look at me like a beat the shit, others blue eye bits saw

skin, mother fucker. I just have a face that people think they can beat up for it's. My whole life has been like that and that's why you know that's because all these people- they just know they just look at me. I don't look tough, you know what I mean yeah. I just don't, and I put it, those episodes, maybe a little more timid, first one with the with the gangster shit taught me a lesson of I will now again. Unless you are my friend or my family, I will not get involved in your shit. I don't give a fuck what happens. I will end with the show, go ahead, beat the fuck out of each other's got nothing to do with me this one was so random. It didn't may be timid. There was no positive outcome of it that mother fucker still to me- deserves a weapon enemy like fuck him and his whole world, but reply lives with himself a demon way like a he probably just- has his own fucking terrible demons that he lives with you. Don't rebound you, don't you don't? If you're, if you're a meth head

the kind of guy that sucker punch people to borrow a girl. You don't you know get that go. Maybe it's me here. You go. It's not me, it's the world against me. You knock. It fixes one little keyboard, one little key bump will get my head straight. I can organize my day. I'm going to make a list, I'm going to make a list number one. I start a youtube channel like exactly and those act is adaptive. You fuck up you. If you pull your parents into that, then the rest, your life, is this guilt, his life. He Sadly, he ruined his life that night he ruined his night that life that night and said I to do this over a czech yeah dude. Ah, that's the fucking thing I like don't. I wish I had a shit is I wish I I'd read a book from four young boys to him in no girl- is ever worth it. No girl and the same of the girl I've little girl,

yeah. Are you you hear these? I mean you know the story of like a girl gets heartbroken for the first time and and maybe try commit suicide august and eating disorders. You gonna know none of the fuckin worth it. None of us know- of them. I saw a fact: man. I saw an ex girlfriend the other day. I wouldn't want to be married hell. No, I love my way, and if I hadn't, if all those ones rose, if this is the one, if those- and if I had been like hadn't, had that one day where you turn around you're, like I'm, going to build a loft yeah cause, I can fix this. I can write this boat, I'm a bad ass, yeah, can make this happen to issue for me. There's out their people that want to fuck me no doubt are just gettin shape. I gotta get on rogaine like fuckin know that you're you're a thousand percent right. That's the attitude to have people get so fuckin car, there are motions in their ego. They don't let's go and they become they ve. They attack and yeah you ve. Had

three axes. Like I've been heartbroken over once I got over of good and then they ve tried to come to me and I'm just once I'm over it, I'm done I'm just over it. I said leanne dumped me right when we first started dating did like well, maybe like four months yeah and she dumped me, and I was I've never been more heartbroken in my life socks. I never in my life I've never felt that the heartbreak. It was a heartbreak connected. The panic It can heartbreak worst. I just gonna be like I don't have many more have any more and I would be like freaked out and I was like. Ok, we get through this. It's gonna take a while we got. It makes some changes like it's not going to be easy, but we do this, and I remember it was like workin out was tough. Sounds like wanna work out as one asleep and I go I'm abroad jogging, I was John going down down outpost. I was coming off iranian jogger back to my house, and I

outposts in the sun was setting. It was beautiful and I could for the first time I could see beauty again in a sunset, but when you are broken, you like, how can everyone fucking exist? How can they fucking b and I remember san tend to god- ass, a god of you like. If you give me this chick back, like trust me I'll, be happy, but he. If not, you gotta make it a no immediately like I got to him. She wouldn't even talk to me and I was like I make it a sittings. I get fuckin flower. this browser glistened, they use a deal. I was like. I still really wonder. Of the we're saying if you give me this, but I won't fuck this up. I promise you I will put this up and I went back to my house and ass. She gimme a phone call and I was like I like- I remember going- god was like ok, and so I called god or I called the hand Oh god, I called the analyse as like, hey she's, like high I'd written or had made a mixed

The foreign written her a letter and I thought about calling you to full crush and it was a lot of coldplay at the time and that badly drawn boy she and she was like. I I'm gone church tomorrow, she's gonna black churches in compton, lions, weird yeah, She just felt more connected from the south go in there than to like a church and she was a guy at church yeah. She was like I'm just going down to the fucking south central go to church, because I can she could connect. Yeah Was I got a militarists tomorrow and just color. I was just wanna thank then maybe we can see each other in. came over to my house, you came over to my room. remember being like I remember like let's just go out for one night and was a god. You listen to me Well, you gave her back to me immediately. I was like okay and then also you can fuck this up, but then there's a part of you It's like her, as is the one

hold on. I know we were making deals. I could have said give me a supermodel like god, but why didn't we dug this? One through you mean Did I really just gonna on the go that one? Like god, I don't know. This was like up one but yeah, but then we went to Malibu went to dinner and I've been very happy ever since yeah you're, like god, I didn't ask for her. This quick claiming Jesus turnaround was amazed on. I want a starring role in a sitcom. Let me rethink my wishes. I want her back in six weeks year. Six we hold on. I gotta sell my own god, no bro, you you, you did, all the right move on that. It is also a fact that is perfect. Woman year hell yeah it's it's been an issue. Lets you be you one. She did. You know We go on the road with tear it up, get fuckin lit here. I am two kids fuckin partying all night come home. Fucking talk to on the phone with bed.

You have no way to get on my area. We have asked it to do. No fuckin, no rules just be I have a good time come home to me make some money try to be healthy, eat right, work out, take yourself for the girls unless fuck it Let's do this see him in my opinion, you we won the game, you one that game because there's a tonne, people in relationships that I don't admire their relationships. They, there in fear, relationship showed me and you, my friend hat, because you are who you are You have to be you, you can be in a relationship where someone's like you can't drink. You care that you don't care once those raw ones before wanted to change me yeah. They like the idea what I was they just wanted a different and those all those heart breaks and at other times you think who's. The guy she's with almost took upon him, don't fuckin ruin your life for a check exact for a fucking check. Never now really there's some unless it is right now go and yeah man, fuck em, to break up god. Dammit these

fucking grown men that have been through these by you me this ends. Yet in no way does it end, but then there's a day, will you go where you like I miss the hurt, I think I'm so instead of a movie. Is this that one or not, I'm feeling you? I don't think I dunno that movie, but that mirrors sadness. You miss me miss the the period real like we're like we can inspire nights you see a hot chick. You like fuck, I'm back in the game toll and go out to the bar with the boys you're like fuck yeah. This is fun and I forgot I haven't been hanging out with you guys for awhile and you're, like yeah. You've been fucking hooked up to that bitch you're, like oh man, these you guys are a blast and then you're like nobody get girlfriends. Listen, arms say I'm I'm single right now, because I haven't found that girl. That will, let me be one hundred percent me, and that doesn't mean beef can player clip girls on the road mike young, dirty animal, I mean just literally, I got a different lifestyle. I fuckin crazy late. I slopes tequila I've and you know what I mean, I am a homeboy. I like to go home a lot. I fucking write jokes, I direct my shit

the law, you, let me be me, were good, but once you start to like sink in the claws and try to change I'm out fast, you know and I've, and I'm with you like. I have missed the heartbreak before I dunno. If it's because of the bit like I missed a bit like, I miss a bit cause those heart, you're fuckin terrible us greatly. When you got to obregon you're, you not drink any new like it's fuckin. Was that way, quick and you're like it's eleven o'clock gonna go get a coffee, I gotta go, I'm not going to bed tonight, go get a coffee go to barnes and noble and fuckin. Look at some self help. Books totally figure. This shit out, yeah I've read my way out of heartbreak before self help book, throw it anybody out there once a good book I just called, is hit me up maya. I got you I know all the good books to get you to heartbreak brought to I've done shit, we're I've, written letters and burn the fog in letter and dropped it into a sink. This I've done witchcraft

down at our crozier people. Think about slayer, like I smudged an apartment before was the fucking apartment. I've, where the new I've never been. I've never done a jealous. I've never been any up for done that but, like I have, driven around where people will like the new boyfriends job I just drive around. Where does he work? I just want to see where he works how's he doing in life, no matter how he's doing he's always doing better than you. Let your mind get far better. He could do Better, but the beautiful thing is, is you get over shit and the day like you said when you saw that sunset, I remember how thursday liked. I remember being depressed down down and one day I woke up- and I was like- oh shit I have a little more energy today, like I'm feeling better yeah, and then you circuit we better. You, like, oh shit. I hope she doesn't want to come back to me like onawandah knowledge, I'm over it and when I'm over it, it's done in my lap ass. My best, whenever is chick chick dumps me.

Literally made me look like I was out of my fucking mind. Totally wasn't too fuck you love, walking anymore can a bar is a noble. Anyone who knows me knows allow the story that I'm leaving out but- and I just was in a fuck him- when a member looking trees, gaunt factories, luxuries factories, nature, people, air, casting a picture, three fuck you you're an asshole one. Does Iraq and I was seeing people smiling on. Where did you find joy where's, the joy? What are they happy about? Don't they realise at all ends up here? We all an upright falcon here and then cut to cut too, get discovered by well smith? And it's all these gradual thing I'll be right. Now now saw the sick come I'll, get it offered a tv. I get so to sit I come out now- am really love and allay. My first like one of my first true

Lives is escrow, generally jan I've rony. Now as one of my best friends until the day I die We dated like in high school and I'm hanging out her we are friends of gorgeous she's beautiful were found in living in hollywood it was like and and my phone rings and it's the chick that dumped me and she's like hey. What's up, and I was like nothing and in my head, I just I like her and her life, and I was like. Oh that's so sad tone that I that I used to think that was bad. Ass, she's, like I'm in l a. Why don't you come out to the airport? We'll go have dinner and I was like airport airport she's like here make it and I wouldn't let you pick me up and take me out. I'm like now and I was like no up, I'm really busy and I got. I got Jen it. My friend general carr, She would have. A friend was a model from new york. Staying with her in the back seat, my body, he's up front, and I was like this ain't fuckin happening gas in my car at the you know that show a chevron on the quarter of thought

and last year? That's cattle or to the several centre and the mobile it's a mobile hell gas in my car and my car is on the south. I remember on the south side, mercedes- and I just as a rental and all his pocket money all this opportunity, my life with starting up a fucking comedian, Smith is my friend on put gossip about those like, like it nap naughty you you might have had me at the ropes one day, but mother fucker, the kid is and and he's living lord. How great was now and then you look at that you're like wow man. What to think that I was at death's door yeah. I was like I mean I'd like I've told us before, but I stop fucking. I got diseases whether she dumped me. I was like Giovanni shaggily got something I'll fuck like and then I fucking

as I'll make it work of light and orlando price for the weekend, and I show up she's all dressed up to go out she fucking freaks out sick. You can't do this. You can't do this and breaks me breaks up with me and I'm fucking spy willing I get to find out, I'm obsessive compulsive. During this period I mean like it was sitting with my dick and balls in a bowl of white vinegar, watching quantum leap forward. I'm going to join just going with the winter's going to write it so we're just going to write itself, oh fuck, that was and then and then I'd turn that around by saying, I think I'm going to build a loft. I remember in the village? I live right across from the comedy cellar the build loft built aloft and that building aloft made me feel like hey. It's not that bad yeah. So I can do this. I can get past this physical. You got you got you got physical waking up awaken the physical body up, helps the heartbreak to you, young bucks out there keep moving. You know what I mean like the move and get the fuck up. now here I am one of my best friends is focused. Cynical

for me directing, these facts in greece stories in the world have the collie saw, store, lacked the other night. Fuckin haven't cocktails. Fuckin life life beautiful beautiful man. So if you're going to break up realise the other side of it, you can wait coupled sway. In a year's wait, twenty years, it turns out really nice stay the course the course stay. Your course stay the course and don't sucker punch, mother, fuckers and don't think any chicks worth it, because it's not ever This is what worth it. No doubt in this is a part of a long time coming. The we ve been talking about doing this for a while, so glad we did at the hour crisis thanks for. Have me brow I low. I love, hang with my regard gray. No one lobby manlike there that peer of my life when an steve burnished is read it, I have to say honestly yazzi burnished accredit night, and I have to give him a hunt he saw me two kids doing the road and just hustling, and he paused. So you need friends. Man he's like is like. You need

the store you need friends, started. Going down the road of the unwary college, or do in baseball do itself ball at the fuckin. What you call it and I remember, and that was a awakening for me, yeah and I met like got all my friends to this day. brought croatia right in the mixed was fucking best, surprisingly great athlete or a score at that time. Nose like it just because Whole thing I was like, I started googling him and he had the amazing racist download. Yeah walked up to him. One time I said I think you're absolute, let me say that I think you're belarus, let's be friends, yeah fuck grew, rich ass, a man brought arriving will wrath. cause, I know we'll be talking about, but I do remember the first time. Do you remember the first time I met you know it was at it was at the like the long beach laugh factory or something like one of those obscure places yeah and you like, gave me crazy compliment after my set brea and probably proud one. Those plays a brand problem, you told a fucking joke and I fuck

and I heard a laugh and everyone out everything you said was so fuckin real. Was it for that wasn't like wasn't higher? which was what we were all doing at the time who just talking- and I was like, as I do this guy's fuck him- bad, as thanks and yay, and you came up and you complimented me, and I remember hearing your awesome loud, laugh when it was like a while. I was upstate howling in the back with Dan godfrey howling in the back and I came over you're cool fucker, you fucker you who I was I said that is so. I said that so many people in the brainbow cause. I thought I had an unlock. I said Chris porter I was like who the fuck. Are you amazing? Who the fuck are you aye sir, is sit down. We ve made some great. We ve made great connections in this in this comedy world and hopefully man, I always you know. I always look. mediums like.

funny. Is money like funny like we are a gang of talented motherfuckers like that make people laugh for a living. So my dream I next level dream is: is that A movie with my friend for real, like something that's, we use every. I look at these all movies. Like I even watch back to school, they had kennison in one spot. They had brought dangerfield plain himself here. You know and you use committee, the voices that are their natural, fucking funny voices. Then you ve got a gold mines, funny you and yes, really my mentality, man and like You know I've, that's how I came up with the young american tourists by looking ever go, we're all fucking funny, let's get out of here and that's kind of like what hope to do in the future, with film and tv, whatever is like get our boys to you in the things that were greater. I don't need a fucking agent or a magic to tell me who's funny. you don't need someone to tell you you're funny. You ve been funny, since you are bored remain. We just need all need like that.

road in there and the avenues to just do what we do and put it out. I just put the content out so you know it's. Why we never let any leaves- and our group is not or not boys are not funny. Univee, like everybody, actually is good for you don't off stage. Either we did nobody. That's lame, gets in just no disrespect. We he was a personal. You don't hang it up, you gotta, you gonna cut. You is not hang it up. You gotta come with the real shit. I think to be part of that group that I feel lucky to be part of so fuck you and, I would add, your meaning, promotes shipment. I got a stand up. Guy is now officially on netflix go watch a stand up guy, my man is a loser is on itunes. Now you can watch that follow I guess people react to it I'm not great on social media, but my instagram is the real MIKE young twitter is real MIKE young.

and I gotta you out I'll I'll. Tell you. When my mother movie grounded comes out I'll, let you know, grounded with aaron Paul Poland Jeff Daniels that will become I'll, probably look in the next six to eight months. Let me know and I'll I'll talk about what I'll. Let you know when the this episode is brought to you by the machine.