On Today's episode I sit down in the mancave to talk about the LA marathon, P Diddy, movie/tv trailers, Fat Joe, and more!
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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of call and sick to work.
Episode to of episode two. We started one time earlier, but a kind of fucked up, but we're back. You don't even know that it was gone. Listen. I appreciate everyone who listened to the first episode. Thank you so much I did not.
Anyone to listen to it.
It was to turn up great, so this is what it is. I kind of go through all the thumb nail
as all my
my point. I google when I'm drunk and then I guess I we talk about all the things I learned throughout the night than you learn what I learned and then we're all up to speed
and by the way my spirals gets so deep
I mention this to halt and earlier, but it ends with question-
impeded, ease sexuality and it starts with Chad is then gets too
Jenny is by the way Tom hanks, better. Looking son, who is an affinity
for the inward we talk about.
oh we're, gonna talk about the n word, latinus, theirs,
I have a subtle obsession with where we go in this.
ten days is just he's. Just the
the tip of the iceberg.
sir hankses name by the way
It is odd that he has such a intense, we'll, get him and say it anyway.
We're gonna start with something apply, haven't talked about you, parliament heard about it all the marathon, the
wherein lay marathon. Are you fucking talking about this again bert? Yet here's where here's, why,
talk to order the other day and all
He said to me you
go back to the to the video we did of
where we were calling you out saying you couldn't run a marathon. You should go.
To that end, then,
Did it together and then posted on instagram and
be funny and hours a day. I swear
bacchus fact watching it look almost
of correcting man, ears problem. I would
They didn't. I mean I don't really remember if anyone else can find the video, though, be great. I have a hard time watching myself on.
episodes so so high and those episodes that I
I it makes me uncomfortable.
I'm so high and those up, so I could see it my eyes, and so
if you can find the videos great, but what I came out with was
basically them saying I couldn't do it an under five hours and they were like that
pretty solid bet by the way. The very accurate bet
five hours and thirty three minutes and without training, I will say
five hours was
a really smart, but because it I was
on a five hour pace the whole time.
and then
I couldn't do it.
I could do it under the bed. Also was Tom. He had a roller skate that,
that was never gonna. Fucking come through
to fruition. There's here's the thing about here's thing about tom: he
I dunno the right way to say this:
don't mind, looking like a complete and total for a guy, a guy like you
part of me, I was talking about this in the end,
pulled a day like
that my job I signed up for it?
ok that I am an idiot
If I came in and algae cardiologist
and I was limping annual withdrawn, like randall
marathon and you like well you're, really hurt me. Go no training got drunk the for reading about that, I believe. Will
My cardiologist pro like going, I need a little more insight, but as a comedian you're, like always my comedian yeah, that's like right. That sums up the poor like you. If you're a
optimist or not. Economists. What's the fuckin economist malcolm Gladwell comes in,
if your lawyer comes in, and europe
go to trial unease light.
Or oh shit, my pants and best buy you be legal.
I want new council, but as
your committee and you're, like that's my guy ends.
I wouldn't have a problem rollers getting ass tom, because I know I like
fuckin lunacy of it tom silly. But
Thank you! Everyone! You don't want to look like a jack ass. I don't look like a jack ass, so
and part of me when the old I started. I was like this never happened and
lest almost to go there, we can go there.
He's gonna happen so, but I just ran to run it the better
happening when could are dad that
I don't know I couldn't find that audio. I couldn't find a part of the video and then I got
fuck inspire all night like yours how it starts. I started
looking for that video, and this is how we end up so
virtual joey on the part. Last week said you should run. You should challenge Joe orient arm to a half marathon, and I was like
I would love to do that and then given proper training to the proper research. These are the best
if marathons in america are you ready guys, let's see if we can, let's see.
blow this up, so you can see them next to me. There
or at best, have marathons in america. Separatist go have marathon will not do it nope pass hard pass. Why bert? Because it's hilarious,
you didn't you want what you want to know
If you do a marathon google, the easiest have marathons like there is actually,
there is actually a website. I found called the fastest marathons, meaning
it's all downhill like us
like downhill, you're, just cruising at your fucking go, go poor ghost!
not doing the san Francisco half marathon, although it would be cool to run across a golden skype, they probably don't shut down the golden gate bridge. I dunno they shut the
in all events, I guess you're right
airbus and be half brooklyn marathon, that's not happening. I fucking eight hipsters.
Hipsters the course. When you go through silverlake em, when you were down albania,
on sambo cindy, just ass, amber since eight towards no
I was innocent. It was beverly hills on burden where they would burn way, ways where you run
I've never wanted to stop and
herb a person more,
because everyone holds up signs like that's there, they all of science or the thereabouts like
but a great idea for months ago like to me, stick
as the time machine man is their twitter big. Ah,
This is what we did before twitter, I'm a throwback,
Webster wonder
fuckin team logo idea for months ago yeah did it seemed like a great idea this morning as well. It's actually seems like a great idea right now. I'm accomplishing something. I've set my mind to and decided I was going to do it's a bucket list, adventure and
You're the fuckin loser you're the loser that woke up and made a fuckin sign. You don't want it.
Went to CBS last night, like a child, putting together a project gotta up
is opposed your board, some glitter and some markers you're fucking grown man, you're fired,
five years old and new
glittering markers
as I got bachelor party
marathon. Oh you run and no beast
marcie on the side of the Vienna hold ups.
so they like when they run by their looks like ha.
You got me brow, fuck off asshole, ok, fuck, you fuck!
well to choose my words wisely here.
not pleased with the feminists.
I did not need your politics
in the race, okay, so
for you, young ladys, who held up down with it.
Georgi time's up like I get it. I get it on us and
You know, I'm not calling capron aching you right now and going that there's a diamond place by really didn't needed by the way
we're one person at this moment we're all running a race together, we're not looking at each other as like factors, bitch
by I can impress somehow no I'm looking at like you got to say
we're all talking to each other's african team, you're missing the point of a man.
Marathon and by the way,
The patriarchy is watching a woman's shudder, pants right now.
taking a picture of it because
I might be there too, because we're on the same field right now. We're
running at twelve forty four pace. We are the exact same fucking human being there is no
stronger man, stronger woman. We are both struggling and your mom. Just sugar, pants. Okay, so go fuck yourself.
How you like that? How you like that bert state,
A political viewpoint I'm trying to
spinal coming outright. It's coming up very misogynistic, but it was like
in point of the marathon is that I am getting.
beat by women yeah. I'm well aware that the burden of a jockey,
but supporting me too, I'm a human being go fuck yourself
doing the napa sohmer wine. Have
marathon. Not do why do the rock n roll have vegas marathon?
roger all, vegas starts at night and you end like fuckin thing,
midnight, and then you up
your balls off does
the thing about a half marathon, half marathon is kind of like just sending an insurgents right. A marathon.
as a full blown fuckin war when you get done
fuck you.
dawn and you're, like I'm out, emilio, kiss
wife on the go, spend album of anonymity get drunk and dominant
appreciate what I haven't home. I am domini
people I'm out here a half
reform is like
so we're going into kuwait and we're to set a bases and unless chill for low, but
that's base. We have marathon, that's why I've marathons are fun. You get there and you like
you go in, I have I got a camp,
fox a woman should be all of it. I shown you like, oh yeah, that's a half marathon
The way all these companies times will be seeing
in sacramento
with an added sunday show
disney princess have marathon pass model,
they have marathon pass?
king Monterrey. Oh maybe I do that
I don't even know Monterrey is any other.
I'm just hoping it's not hilly Boston's run to remember,
Can I tell you something I mean not to get super sullen, but like just to put his vector
but though I when I was running the marathon definiteness thinking like this is where bombings happen, you know, like
boss, marathon
What really socks is that all those
I d qualified those the debt, a gift card,
if I for the Boston marathon you to qualify for the new york marathon uk, just fuckin.
Go in and sign up. I think I don't know
Maybe I'm wrong about that, but I think you have to call
five for them to run like a three hour,
thirty minutes marathon to get
into the boston or you can just go hand all the boss, a marathon.
Or maybe that's for people who don't live in Boston?
one of your resident, if you can, I don't know
good question bert anyway.
charlotte covered bridge a marathon pass
let's get out of here here- is the
This is the video I was looking for
I couldn't find it. This is. Thank you, pizza, clip king! This is fine, has to be a good mark, because after that three hour marker or even two and a half you're gonna hit a real tough wall.
But you also will be running with a pace group still wearing the exact same hat and the exact same shirt time which helps.
It'd be like. I have to go with them, no matter what I have to go with them: five hours, five hours, that's hilarious! I don't even know I'm thinking about draining. My bank account to bet you
that would have a good volume bet. Five hours is undoable for me. Without training, there had been a really good that
Those men are really go back.
cause. I would hurt myself. I would have definitely hurt
I'll I'd done five hours. Thirty three minutes less than you did. I say
Although this is mrs what I like about me but Liane hates about me
I love talking out of my ass? I love
bet. I love a gamble. I love the gamble we go like.
what I like about me is.
Like. I don't know anything about guns, so I went and bought two guns cause. I was like. I don't really think about gun laws, sama get it
bob in it like. I, like that, I loved
fucking thought I could
a five hour marathon. My dad was like to buddy. You can never do it five hour, mary,
Just so you know my pace was twelve hour.
In forty four minutes across the board? That was my pace for the marathon, which
pretty slow. That's like a I've wanted.
that's like up for
point? Seven,
the treadmill or, like a four point, nine on the treadmill,
eleven or I can tell you right now, eleven
minutes and twenty seven seconds, would be the pace that I would have had to keep up. I ran at twelve minute and forty four second pace
I couldn't have done it. That would have been a really wise bet on Joe's part five hours. What are we doing here like this? Like? Do you think he would do five hours?
hey hold on to say this. This is me trying to I remember being here now. This is me trying to do the math on whether or not I could do it in five hours
I'm trying to the magical. What is alone, treadmill abuse
For me, it was eleven minute and twenty seconds I would have taken the bet. Thinking rn. I could make some serious money. Let's, let's get it. Let's get a course that we're talking cause we're not going to can't do on cholera,
I wanna I wanna. I would have taken the L. A marathon course cause. It's all downhill fast and it'll keep your last five hours. You would have to really prepare
That's it that's a very accurate statement. I don't like that jos right in this,
wanted to be right, like I like
I like. I just wanted. I wanted atlanta in this moment. I wanted to win. This bet like I'll, go running right now. Let's see what is that membership right now, so wait he really prepared the five hours. I think you could do it. I'm not saying you couldn't do it. He don't wanna. Give me a year
idiot, fuck marathon mockery,
let's get out of bed.
I don't know, I know that ultimately back came down, could I could I beat arias dad that was the
bet that we got whittled down to so I
if someone could isolate those clips and do like
it's a clip, gang or or there's one guide it that does.
All the clips there really like he does clips of my show to lieutenant something lieutenant.
Guy. You can do that and then isolate
clips. That will be
I would. I would be interested to see what the ultimate bet was chairman remember. I was so fucking. I have a hard time. I don't I can. I couldn't watch the whole thing, because
look so I in It- and I do you
cords draped over my shoulders, like a princess,
so then, by the way, these are all of you,
done the exact same thing I had. You would have tripled all the way to the end where I'm going. This is the new melissa, mccarthy movie, love alone,
bless mccarthy. My wife met lamellosa, mccarthy, one night at a party and
my wife had been by the way. This may not be true,
my wife had been tour agent. The day
perform the age or agent was like you need to make a call. Are you gonna? Be overweight or you gonna be skinny like you even need to lose
ten pounds or gain fifteen and my wife's,
not gaming fifteen and I can't lose ten- and I was by the way I'm fuckin, which she saw that agent and
and so on
I shall not why, for the party, my wife's podcast this week is all about how
that I am in bed fairly.
How good I am about. I don't know. Probably, but anyway
so my wife's at the party Emily's mccarthy, was there, mrs Mccarthy,
However, in the kitchen and most mccord
These just shoving cheese, cakes interface, like just moors woes lowdown say I just thought
by the way, that's the lie, part
they're just having a glass of wine and illicit mccarthy, my wife tells most mccarthy what happened with our agent
some of these again the same conversational mine, and I just like fuck it.
I'm trying to be skinny I'll, just be, who I am and be funny, and and
I like Melissa, Mccarthy's role, roles,
everything: she's done it like destination done, but this movie
You forgive me.
By the way, I'm obsessed with trailers, I'm obsessed with trailers, I
sesar trailers. If you ever want, please shoot me
linked to a trailer on twitter, a good one.
If ever trailer by way of cyber, let's be cops. It's my favorite trailer, probably that,
trailer got me so excited for the movie, the movie sucked. It really was bad, but it really
stock and I wish you hadn't, but let me go
The trailer was fucking amazing. I remember that. That's really finally say that too great fuckin trailer, as
this trailers pretty good
looking to the right side of the bargain is getting out of there. I allowed a project at the mill the night.
at like ten o'clock at night we're getting ready for the girls abed, nine, thirty,
when the girl spared neither comes to me ngos. I have a problem,
I have to do. What is ancient china
his food- and I was like
fucking kidding me as tourism.
It's ten o'clock at night, she's like
mom's going to be really mad, knows that guy and rightfully so merely am supposed to watch my special I'm going into the edit bay in an hour to go finish that
final cuddle, my special.
all I will say is I am very happy with it.
There is I'm not I'm not gonna brag on or anything
I hope you enjoy it when you see it when it comes out, it's coming out
Netflix
When I did my last special, which I was very proud of very
very proud of
I had a really hard time at the beginning of watching my last special. Like our story
watch my last special and I was really uncomfortable, really really uncomfortable and and
and then I remember on watch my last special, I member twenty
five minutes in going at all
I own. I many notes account of any edit notes moments at what I got:
Forgot were watching this for
No it's like I'm just enjoying it like I go. This is really good and she's again,
I forgot that I was doing that too and so,
I was like wow we got to. We got to go back and see if there are any notes and we had no notes. My editor Dave Harrison is
he added in my last special knows. I wanted to add at this special because he just is really good with very fluidly
bringing together the show showing you. I just show you,
it's going in on the right type moment. He really just knows the pacing of how to edit a comedy special in my opinion, Dave Harrison very moments of great editor. Any comics out there Dave Harrison, he's great payment
once the obeyed. It's worth it in my opinion, by the way we low bottom but yeah. So last
watching it say my the intro is: is the high
part, has asked the part where your mom
Your heart attacks to that's the data
dont, dont dont and
so we're going back and forth. The first literally, I want to say
second, we must have watched twenty times because that's the
important part. My head. First, bit comes out,
my area. They are like that and then.
thirty. Two minutes later Leonora, like oh fuck,
we haven't. You been any note like we're, not where I was.
I got I was so I was in it
I was doing the bets like I was like, as I got
She leaves me spiralling like I'm doing the beds in the chair. I love it
So I'm very happy with it. I'm going in working to figure out the beginning, any ending those are the two parts
so I think, oddly enough
I have my most thumbprint on so
and we also get. I want music on certain music so anyway, ilo has up
Objects on googling, fucking, chinese art for- and this is one of the this is one of your three- is what it looks like this
that right here and so on, printing them out and they were putting on a poster board and writing stuff. Like
seemed like a good idea for months ago downwards.
Patriarchy as I can,
Wait till you're fuckin feminist island megantic. These posts are bored with your cock up dead
I mean I can make some great. I know it gets to the heart of a man like out alike,
but that's what sucks about feminist poster boards is. I they don't really know what hurts us. Like, I used to say I used joke
about the n word we're getting to the n word. It's coming up. Do I talk about this already we're getting to the n word and I used to have a joke,
because when I first started, but I was like which sucks it like blue,
if you don't have a bad for white people like honky, were like my or the care like cracker petrol
like none of those, really have the effect that the inward does
and then I go, and then I found the one that does next time you get cut off in traffic by a white guy, just pull up and be like
learn how to drive a goddamn canadian and were like I'm, not a canadian, I'm a fucking american. I pay for my health insurance, that's an old joke old joke. First, we feast are so
though this will explain this natural thread. Obviously h
who's about chinese american food, that no.
was to talk about an.
fortune cookies aren't, there's all stop. This isn't doesn't
help any of it, but then his
chinese cuisine,
and then I get on sean
evans. I love cha cha like one of my favorite deeds, but
and I'm not sitting on shown by the way,
but I'm sitting on I've been
in this moment so many times
I started watching this and my heart sort of breaking force on when you
do something original right and you're a fuckin groundbreaking.
Like keep, he broke ground on on the way the internet is
Is doing interviews celebrities, he really is first
hot ones is one of the best interview shows ever I watched all of them. I am sorry,
fan. He is one of the best interviewers he's such
real guy, even in just like all the other.
stop I've shot with him. He's a real and the moment, there's no boy,
shit, Sean
and there's no bullshit me in a lot of ways.
You buy into the system and you go
on a show like
rachel ray and your forests to like you, forced to like
Take notes from producer by the way I'm not sitting on a rachel's producers. I love them they're, all great for you force it
I'm just putting logistics out before them.
Take note from producers like twenty six years old, who doesn't really have any original ideas? Who didn't really?
and television like digital.
was a cool gig. You know they were looking for something in there friend hooked them up and they started as an audience coordinator, and then they worked their way over to
to the office and the editing bays and any kind of like hey
Looking for a safer producer. Do you want to go to a smoke elsa up an update, new york and the like?
yeah. You do that
what they do is they give him a beat she. These are all the shots we need, but rat
Then they go out with the lagoon literally with us,
I could approve or just gave them all the shots we need. So there's no!
A timid in it is them just doing a school,
project. It really is I'm doing a school project there, twenty four,
twenty five years old
Male female doesn't matter they just twenty four twenty five
and then that goes well because they go out there with talent, but knows what they're doing and they
yet some shots at didn't expect to get and, of course the
second, a cruiser credits them and then moved them up, and then one day they go into a greener machine evans. Who is alien
talent and rachel, a legit talent and by the way, a mild by my dominate
Rachel's have legitimate and
rachel does not suffer fools,
may I just say that of gay of seeing her not suffer fools lightly, but sean doesn't have that option. He's got to
he's, got a kind of play. The game right
how to play the game. I been. There have been a phoney fuckin times this I've
there. You can find cliffs of me doing this exact fucking segment, practically the eggs
that fucking segment is in the bullpen.
young producers now, in the twenty eight years old kind of law-
swagger to them. They
What they're doing they ve got nice handmaid shoes. They know what they're fucking doing. Ok, you know it
I've been on re for about five years now. So what are you
It's ok when you get the bullpen come talk to me that kind of swagger.
says Sean Evans who's that I don't even know who this I don't watch internet on. I mean hot ones. I don't follow hip hop. What does he do? Oh surely
ok, okay, rachel was on us. All I know is I know by where millions of euro boys only cause. That's your way to dude
I know it. Yeah yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. I dunno pneumonia yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah. I know this guy yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, that's what they do all the time when they talk to you: yeah yeah, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, right right, right, right, right right,
What are we gonna do sean? I got an idea holy shit for fucking six minutes. What
we'll find the grossest stuff in the world and rachel interview him
push on his dislike. I'm game
Is it good segment if our bad but is just was like I've been here so many times with a leg? Soap,
Thinking will have you run down the middle, the audience and a costume, and you like
How does this have anything to do the segment and they're like just thought,
to be fun. Do like you're, a writer wrestlers mask, and it can they see my face. You know
obviously a one point: you'll take it off. Where am I wearing the mic and the mic and.
You know what that's the question for audio I'm going to talk. I'm gonna take that to audio and audio figured that out, and then you get there and the guy was like. I have nowhere to fucking MIKE you
This is a mighty abrupt and you're sitting there trying to problem solve a fucking
a young producers who, by the way, will not be in television five years. They just want that. That's it! That's all there,
do it they want they want
the pressure that all love it? You ve passion about something you lie.
It does no pressure. You just fucking love it. I love television. I do. I love that
EL upon podcasting it'll pressure when I bought guest, a fucking love it
I could do this
three hours a day and sleep one, our stand up, there's no pressure. I fucking
sat watching tv issued by joke book; elemental, trust, writing, jokes about fuckin getting off the grid. That's all
we do is watch off the great shows, but I just wait. I just
I need to just witness a tablet I bought and by the way, I'm probably certainly can't play. Oh, who gives a fuck right. Let's see, oh look,
there's a there's, a black guy, there's a black
they cut do they just killed me.
Sean by the way is like how about fuck to eat a chicken foot he's like. Ah, okay,.
By reaching of your fuckin awesome, just for the record
so the producer who thought tat it would be a bad idea. I love chicken feed as it is.
Delicacy and vietnam. So it's not europe back,
There are many members, are bad cold up out of gold, not bad cold, either
by we rachel's I'd chicken feed to like.
do. I know she has he's a fucking shaft.
I'm not gonna show on the segment, as I am not shitting on rachel or on Sean I'm sitting on young producers under producing segments,
and if you're in television, ah fuck speaking of shitting, on
hi, I'm Adam Scot, I don't even know Adam Scott is right, but I am tired of fucking
stale premises on the internet Adams.
Hijacks, hijacks strangers, tinder god, damn
that's fucking original!
this is me hate watch.
stuff online like going like I'm not angry enough? Yet
I just want to watch a guy with
perfectly manicured messy here. Let's take a look.
It is by the way I do know these guys. There's a guy that shit on dane cook in us.
That brothers, you like more honey
two orgasms on in our hour, yeah he's actually pretty good actor he's in that really show with Craig robinson
swirled or something goes goes doctors he met.
Here? She really good actor and by the way, once again, this isn't adam Scott sitting on our scott of shooting.
I'm the tired ass producer from fucking vanity, fair, we're gonna get out of this. I'm tired this! Oh wait. I'm sorry they had him. Go from that to g q
What did you say? I just close the window. I wish I had window
and the fair had him hijack right, hijack so
ones, tender, dining amy shimmered it at first he was originally. She did it and she asked
it took someone's tinder and started swiping for them and they were like
cameras roy?
no blue sat Amy just did it because she's a regular funny, fuckin person he went from
gee q.
and from vanity fair. We hijack someone's twitter to
q wearing
the exact same outfit, the exact same backdrop, this is how stale fuck
Producers are
Adam Scott goes undercover on reddit, instagram and twitter undercover shut up or
just goes yourself like
under cover I go under cover on twitter, fuckin, next
Oh, I'm sorry, speaking of original content. Did anyone see
they will see that something's burning up. So with me, burnish arm and brian Cowen. Did you see it as watching with my girl?
last night and then it got to the part with the crab and she's like o o.
God? Oh my god. Let me see if I can find that
I think seven minutes of forty five seconds see added turning off. Oh
This is one of my favorite things.
So if you don't know, we make tee a piano cheer pino, there's a humane way to kill crabs in there's an inhumane way we
the humane way
of his totally remain, but and then you have to peel off this, the the shell and you pop.
got watch the episode. It's fucking great brian and Brennan are absolutely hilarious in it, but here
the part that I want to show. You hang on at all, okay, that okay, better, be ready, watches, expensive, watches before we fucking start killing these crabs. You ready cocktail yes put on glasses better,
to meet the appropriate, throw them away. This is a good where's, the where's, the little gift someone was like.
To give me a gift,
wish I could find it. I wish I was a better host. Let's see, if I can say whatever anyway go watch it
Fun, that's something vernon! I just open
that to remind myself to tell you how do I that
This is another
rachel re shown in interview view good friends, maybe I'm jealous alongside a crush on rachel, not just
it's an imam jealous john, I think he's doing fantastic, I'm proud of our problem and what the fuck wrong with me. I like sean. I don't think I'm shitting on shone a light. I really love jean. I do and I love rachel too
doesn't risotto also whatever that is here? We go.
Sheriff over societies offer wanna. Thank you hide it
let's gets real about race. In tennis, it was
The pay off. I was looking for. Ok, the
What what red was working
Up in the side was maria share public, its real about pettiness and race. That's all! It came
not race in tennis, so once I saw that I was like pass right, but here's where the fuck,
in spiral, goes ok once again, everyone it for,
I'll, I'm not negative, but I do have a name that when I start drinking and I,
I should align. I start shooting on going like and by the way. I read your comments. I know you do too. Okay, so maybe you'll enjoy to shit,
stuff
there's is new movie tag that looks fucking phenomenal.
you see the trail of work, trailer,
ed helms, animal burress, Jeremy runner-
John ham. I think that's it there, five four guys who, every month as its based on true story,
every month in the month of every year, in the month of may they play they ve been playing a game of tag, that's carried on like thirty fucking years, forty years and its it,
looks hilarious, Helen hellenes, Ellen tweeted, a link, I'm a big elephant, elon ellen tweeted link. I watched it, my loved it. So clearly I go on and I go to the tag. This is the trailer for it. I say:
I gotcha I'll show you. The trailer looks really got a guy, but I watch
this part bright and I'm like sure better way to introduce the chair to a movie called tag, then it'll play a game. I didn't like this part like I don't like the
I like the some producers I killed before the jury. If you ran
treat all with your camera and then
ass. I went to bind you I'm in your like, oh shit,
That's a good intro, Amigo duty I'll do just play the fuckin. You may use
millions of movie money, millions of dollars to make the movie
just play the fuckin movie, not interested.
Trailer just play the trailer. That's why you spent all the millions of dollars just play the fuckin trailer bert.
Such a negative episode dory. It gets better ass. Anybody tell shit
this is a specimen of scout. Go to your husband.
hannibal, Burress episcopalians as failings, don't ask a tear, it is not a religious fanatics
the
Please tell me what is going on here. Friends did wings intact for thirty years, less
voting awesome every year we ever know ways.
looks good, especially overflight wants to tire or said take tested.
Mrs casey affleck looks goodness to your watches. I don't know how to do that. I don't wear a watch.
good job hannibal handles killing. It is just what we lack. Is it out again
except those connected yeah. This is so fucking cool man. It's been a while, since we've done this,
The scheme is given the reason why I think your dad
my balls ice cream rights knows. I'm lecter
it's all animals killed. It is an actor bro,
animals fucking, kill it
I like, but
I started stanhope with ed helms light.
Roughly a mean we both did. The same open mighty other we'd, like start together,
and then I saw many on the daily shows doing some show in Boston, we're safe,
hotel and I was stopped him and I was like hey man. Can I give you a little bit advice in his business?
it is a very intelligent guy and I I don't
I don't think you are. I don't think he rolled his eyes at me, but I do have. A deadline was like I'm on the daily show and you're
but for another comic in boston
but I've done so much television. The time and I was like what am I regret that I hadn't stayed with television during
doing doing stand up and I knew I wasn't doing stand up and go dude vested right. I go hey doc.
leave stand up. I dont forget about stand up you
If you pay the bills or stand up, you never can promise that this career is going to take off and whoa. Maybe I should have. Maybe I should have listened, but
Ed. I think it's fucking awesome,
everything in the world. For me not to click on comedians, defend louis seek hey, let's get out of there.
Oh, this is fun for louis. Oh, this is one of the deep dives we gotta wrap this up soon. One of the deep dives I got into was these travel hosts that do their own blogs, that really at the fuckin
If I give you really do love travel, that's the fucking gig,
this guy form for louis he makes
billions of dollars and travels the world for free,
a good looking guy. Yes, funny gets a girlfriends, then breaks up at them and
go on and he's got a cool ass dread locks bia. I just got
check out fun for louis. This is
most viewed. Video tony got three million views, so maybe it's not a millionaire, but I guess
and all wild country. Did you see this week?
country, while our country is a documentary, netflix eleventh important everywhere. It's about these
this indian guru who moved out
into the middle of like Montana, to try to start a cult. Eddies did
started cold and then
the war started and his parishioners started taking up arms and became a militia to fight the locals, who were already next. I am watching this fucking documentary and by the way it's done by the brother
what are the brothers names the dupe last brothers? I did some
was the name. The fuckin goddamn comedy jam with mark duplass plus marked blasted,
the best thing my wife's like he was the best he killed it tonight. He went through any
hold a story about how he had.
met a girl in high school. I told her. He could play the drums to this song,
and then many any lie be, could play the drums of the song and then his whole
story was, I hope, she's watching right now
not only will I play the drums this on our play every
similar to the sun. There was the song. Was this
don't stop burly than anyone any played every instrument to the immense
the other musician, will grab the instrument when he was done and he'd go to the next one. It was fucking bad ass, oh yeah, mark dupont is a bad ass dude and it's a hard song to play
The duplo brothers are apparently filmmakers. I don't really know them. I didn't know when he was there. I was like I've never seen this guy in in the obama era, in an open, mics and other clubs, but he's not
I may be is a comic book is a definite filmmaker and this movie wild wild country. Netflix looks
amazing? I didn't pitch it perfectly. Now
where we get into chad, k collins hanks. Now,
the best looking of sons, chet much better. Looking yeah much,
looking at it cause more like the company guy. You know it's gonna be tough, being like Tom hanks, Aslan yeah. It's gonna be tough, like just like
Then there are the more isn t like a dinner.
An readers like so called
how a soccer- and you does Tom hanks he's like a lost fifty pounds.
his role, I was on an island like two months.
And I ve learned a lot about like dilute back column, her tom
color was terrible. Socrates accepted soccer, I'm fucking
and the biggest industry in the world, and we hear about your citys and I feel like that sometimes, and I'm not colony, hangs or tom hanks.
Reverend travel gentle ventures and maybe like that
so I'll hours, tennis and I was like- do I tell your eyes- I jumped off the stadium and their rules like what maybe that's a bit. We
work on these to frustrate the living shit out of me,
it's always always
an upturn in, and a version of Allen. Iverson like really talk about practice, I've
looking jumped off over stadium anyway, it is talking about realizing. Tat was famous too pretty good interview that guy guys I wish I'd and clicked out of it. However,
that guy was that guy's
Good radio show
we gotta Chad, hank, hang sandy worried now here is where
we- I start spiralling ok. I don't think
I don't I don't say the onward, I'm upset it have sung it presented it
in my past that by try try to stay away from the word entirely. I tried
edward away from a lot of words that fuck up peoples
because that's my things like my thing is about, and I want to fuck of anyone's day like
I want you to watch me and enjoy and smile and am a laugh, even
expense to some point. Like I don't mind,
looking goofy so
Everyone has a good time made as part of being a comic. I think it's a
self lizard. It fills avoid in me. But ultimately
I try to stay away from words. I say the word midget, my special, but it was, it was just fit. I apologize view
a person- and I had this whole bit about now.
saying that word to my daughter's, because one time they do
Georgia was like georgia, like tommy,
punchline a joke and the punchline was he's a midget,
car as I go baby. You can't say that she's at by us, because it makes
if you like shit so like you, gotta keep it out here to keep it
you're vocabulary, she's like a kid, but like they're not
hard like they're, not here dad and those like Y know, you did
that's how it works, but you gotta just trust
if you say it a lot, then you get used to saying and it'd get you saying it. You'll say it when you're drunk and then that's when you get your ass kicked outside a bar in Boston and she's, like
ok and then brow williams came over and she can.
Back to the man cave and brad Williams is sitting here as she sees him as a little person as she
what eyes light up like you, fuckin snitch and georgia come on in. So I bring her in you can hear. This is an old podcast. You can find all my old podcasts on bert gas, dot, com and
goods towards the end of the pot gas, and I bring her my said georgia's. My body brad
one, would just me brad, not me brad and have run Heaven and
George Jimmy joke shorts, homesick bees,
The vote. Can that she's, like no adult
And then he says towards find the same: midget like brad, you're, fucking you're dead,
the purpose of me trying to raise a good kid anyway. So I hope I have a problem.
because I'm a tito right like I have a t dollars mentality. If
drinking, a definite smoking weed, I'm not eating pills and I'm not taking nyc. Will I'm not doing anything right. But if our party, a party
if I'm drinking applies more weight. If you out of joint, I'm not don't go. This is not my thing but like us, but we'd jure
but if a merger aroma dominating I'll do anything when I'm eating healthy, I don't fuckin straight. All there's no cheating there
no kidding when I'm on it.
It's a little bit of o
oh, the inward I'm not comfortable with
it's my daughter's school, the mexican kid sandy word and makes me uncomfortable. I don't like it
we uncomfortable maybe a little bit of a rule follower. We talk about this on the hobby, arbogast I'm a little bit of a rule follower and
pardon me, says than if
you guys gonna, say it and you're not black than everyone should say it, and that should be the rule or
just black people say: that's my rule just blow
it will set bible.
That's their own prerogatives if they want to say that they don't want to say it, but dennis
going like so wrappers you don't get a pass
no Y gotta get surpass. Then I start
so the adapt. That's where this its terms. He said the chat, haze, ok, chester, hey
had said the n and song and an tweeted
reporter on instagram
So then I go what about fat joe fatuous, not black, and he says it all the time and god damn
bit vlad tv, you,
fucking six steps ahead of me. Cause he's got the perfect interview. You take offense,
this is this- is about the inward ok and can
why people use it can,
people use it, and then this is rather have you ever had never been asked him where the person tell you there
it was my man I went to. I was on radio and in Chicago yeah in a chick interview me live on radio. She could, she would say if you'd like to know. I want to know why you use the word nigga and I looked and I paused for a second, and I said she was herself. She was flat and I said maybe it's because I am that nigga god
I don't give a fuck you others didn't give a dude. Can I tell you
hey vlad,
I know you do comic, sometimes from ever new york. I would love to do your show. I've won
to ask fat joe. That question.
for maybe thirteen years. For probably
twenty years. I wanted to ask that question because it makes me uncomfortable when a person is not black,
says the m and it makes me on.
comfortable for black people, because I go,
if I said it
call me on it, but there in this,
your territory where the like yeah, I understand you're part of
culture, and he goes on this. A great video, if you want, will put a
linked to these videos that I have a fag joe it. It's
fuck him fascinating, because he bread
sit down. He says he says you can't
The word is part of the culture and
basically goes on, says I think white kiss you say it like a like, I think,
Paraphrasing, you should watch a video about putting words in fact mouth, but
wanted to ask that question forever, so then obviously norm obsessed with hip hop, so
From there to the game, the gay,
looks fucking.
phenomenal
vlad tb is flat.
Vlad, dj bladder thinkers, vlad tv.
Ass, the game vlad. It might be the best interviewer hip, hop guys ever he
the game is the
what do you think about gay wrappers.
And the game is so not,
media savvy that he basically says leg like
here's. My problem, gay people, you're like hotel, was like zebra there over there. You that what he really is right,
Is the closet gaze, the closet gaze loans on paraphrasing the game.
is the closet, gays. I don't like because they go out and they have sex with these guys and then they give aids to their girls, and then we get aids from their girls and I'm like, oh, my god. This is ruining so many levels like this is why I can never be dj vlad or vlad db, because they're games like,
no that's how you that's, however, ones get me mike now and then
but the best is. The game has no control over his face, but the way I am
a positive. The game is not finding this entertaining, but there's just
it's real respects. Real right game is
fuckin real like he's, not
this like
and this is what I love about this well over Allen. Iverson about the un standards by the way next September is all about the inventors hair transplants. Oh my god, damned sandra getting hair transplants is one of the most
Religious experiences you've ever seen in your entire fucking life. He is
the final phase with air transport plans.
parliament, twitter and go watch all these videos anyway,.
The gave us a game like art?
gay rappers and he's like oh yeah
Oh yeah, I have you
After then he gave wrappers yeah and then
and then he goes, would you wrap with gay wrapper and the games like yearbook?
maybe too short said the odd rapid, a gay rubber, but not if we sang about gauge it like, like
like as if he go you all my track, maybe like we like second dicks europe, game and he's like I don't like it. No, we do. Yes, I did
By the way the game is in great shape and he's like six, five he's a fucking monster, so
I read. I watch on gay wrappers, one of my favorite podcast ever ever
called drink camps analysing the biogas. I just
the videos you are to drink champs, no, ok, parliament's second, let's get out of the game,
speaks on gay wrappers and hip hop so good, a good at twice and then good at Google. It twice
fat Joe. I just want to make sure that he was porter again. This is once again p d.
Let's get out of this, and this is what will close on this netflix Nicky ricky debates especial
good, oh yeah, it's really good more item, a big ricky gervais fan, but his special is really fucking good and to drink, champs, so, okay, drink champs. Let's just show you drink
by the way. I just want you guys to know fabulous. We who's, who the hosts drink, champs, pursue its.
about drink champs. Let's just tell you. I want to officially tell you about drink champs,
nora and o r e periods, after all them
formerly Noriega is met
in her bob ray
a ton artists from queens- or I will know
we all know the nordic is he's one of them
the founders dj fn.
He's another guy. Ok, they ve got
by the way, this isn't what I'm looking for, because I've. Why
strict terms. A bunch is always people babysitting, nor is the one I like is they go on. They bring hip hop guys on and they get drunk with them.
I am under selling this you really.
Go check out drink champs, so not doing such a great job of telling you how great it is, but they have you will drunk
next comes on one of the greatest episodes ever ok,
mathematical at any wrapper. You love has been on drink champs
based out of miami. I'm telling you right now. I know my motto this year stay in your lane.
And I don't like doing like. I think it's. I don't think it's
get yourself in trouble when you're a white guy. You try to get that lane. You know it's just
seems odd, monsieur so branded differently, and sadly I know
asked enough about hip hop to get myself in trouble to say something stupid and make it sound. Like I don't know anything about hip hop right,
I don't wanna go in there like. I know everything about him up by definitely
love to fly myself to miami to be on drink champs. I will fly myself to miami put myself.
If you promise I can do a full up so to drink, champs and drink you guys over the table. I would definitely do drink champs. Yes, so anyway,
look I'll just so the time a gay rapid.
and then, of course, size, charlemagne is on the breakfast club. He's
about. How did he's gay and he says, did he did it
gay, he came out on drink jams.
but that's what I'm reading into it
Charlemagne is interviewing ditty
angola
are you gay like ask enemy gay like you, you
the way you talk, will you act by the way,
it is so oblivious to it is so not
Before I begin, I don't think he's gay he saw oblivious to it. Just like no not like
in one of his he's call fabulous and Norway daddy like.
drink, taxis, column, daddy, right, immortal, technique.
Today's is not an inward, and neither are we
not me, dear that Latvia,
oh yeah, this is where I was
when we look at fabulous watch
We watch fabulous in this drink to have right, so it's
we're casual
there's we they they smoke alcohol. They do everything right,
yeah.
this, nor right here,
Listen up. Did he look at the look
fabulous his face. When did he calls nor a daddy? Ok,
like. I would never call another man daddy bum on white, and I really wouldn't do it in black holes.
Definitely don't call another man, daddy
that is a weird thing. Mo neat calls her husband, daddy,
of called her out on that. Like that's kind of fucked up, you call em,
when daddy? I want
Anyone daddy like an unrealistic
Stop color! Let's! Let's take that back, you steps, aren't you a fuck? What color you are
as a romanian man on the man, daddy, that's just across the board.
Georgie bert does
cross. The you'll call another man. Daddy watch fabulous this because this because we see that they are, might be a birthday party for your birthday party for my birthday.
I them to noble, may never really party. He knows what kind of power
does he want to have with fab?
Ok, so precisely salaries, re J, gary
You know how much I've been there guy. Like variety. May I like it when you got your com daddy,
we would like this day light look invariably rebound
like when you're like
all that we lose them
nor is it a comparable. We reduce call me, then what
What do you mean candles gave a
blood, zoo, blue. You know you don't have birthday cake in prison for those reasons civically
I got you a border. Is all about worry, no deporting people blood, these scandals, fucking looking
nor his face when he when he goes to block the council's he's. Like I blow your ghana but your candles, but and did he has reign over everybody? Ok, watches wave.
I mean yeah.
fuck. I was howling laughing watching this last night
fuck. I think I just shut it and saved it all right, we're good okay and it's on here where I was six minutes all right. We should
so by illegal work. My at it
I was howling laughing cause. I follow ditty on instagram and ditty on his grim. Super lonely. Like he's
lot of friends- and I do not think that power-
of being a mobile it. I guess you know, is one of the biggest guys have up
part of it. Is you don't love? You will close to you and you do your business again,
our nobody's lonely, is clearly loneliness. He was fabs.
Already with them? He wants to take him shopping
This is what I love about. Progress in. This is what I love about turn of media and if we can bring this full circle. This is what I love about. Now
having a twenty
five year old producer that doesn't know anything about anything producing. Your television shows this.
was broken about television and great
but the internet. Ok,
we'll cover all this and in one breath.
never in a million years. What
twenty five year old producer ever think that I could
a marathon in fibres
they will do just that first, while they like here
in three hours they would never work it through, but because we did that on the podcast
This is natural conversation. What's gave somewhat isolate those and
post them so reposted, air or steel and put on my instagram I'd love that vat is
Just that is four friends highest fuck bullshitting
that is the rogan pugwash right. Then we go
circle to drink, champs worth the same shit. You see an unfiltered parts of this we're working. I'm working on a drinking show that
that has not has
to be discussed,
were for working on that it's gonna happen, I'm shooting at April. Fourth, but
it's not good, we drink jams, it's gonna, be
something else. It's not going to be hot ones. It's going to be something else. It's not going to be between two ferns is going to be something else, we're going to try
to figure this out is not only getting, though with I, it's gonna, be something else, but it's
before it's beautiful because its real p, daddy
peering over sharing. How come you all party with me? How come you open
Are you with me? How can we all are
taking shopping. It's such a fucking
what these candles
that you would never get that
traditional media, look at me
fucking cited this right now you would never fucking get that
It makes me so excited and then go
dj lad. You know why
never know.
we're on the today show were they
like hey. Ask DJ asked craig Joe
if black people are upset that he says the n word. They would never do that on. The today show
DJ lad. Does it hey the games promoting an album? Ask him if you'd rapporteur, gay wrapper and europe
what brilliant television that will be, because the game is so fuckin uncut. That
it's like. I mean we're going to rap about gay shit like yeah napoli yeah, hey. Can you give me sixteen bars about eating the man's ass
ok, all right I got to do it. Does no aids comes
from from other girls asleep the gig. His fuckin spoke
listen? I do
read the comments to these. So if you want to post common posts comment, if you want to be shitty, be shitty, I I'd get it
but sometimes it should in this does make sense, but be shitty funny
be shitty, and let me know that you love me if you're just shitty like who's, this ass clown won't be getting blocked and you'll never watch any video I ever put out, because I don't trust you and when we can
to be constructive and what you don't like or do like,
I love that I do like red nose and
We d, as is the data
for two days before this? If you want to
me talk more in detail about marathon,
if you wanted to dig a great progress which ideas check that out.
Today
san Antonio, come up Utah's coming up salt lake city
Turkey is coming up. That's in the next month, I'm in hawaii I'm looking for something cool to do and why? So, if you live in hawaii, I'm there for two days by myself without my family. So if you live in hawaii- and you want to do something bad as like climb to the
opposite stairway to Heaven, and you can get me up there hit me up on twitter.
even if you run a scoop I've thing taken.
When want scuba, diving and watching
documentary on netflix about the guy
discover the titanic is now
going down to see the new volcano. That's all just off awhile who, in these submersibles
we want a panic attack, and- and that's that
I hope you guys have a fantastic weak.
My legs are getting better. Thank you, everyone for asking
oh cried, you I'm going to lead
b to go? Look at the editor, my special I'm gonna cryogenic therapy and then
political party in my house tonight so leave tomorrow, Sacramento so
some friends over party ample shit and party
m bullshit ever her. That's all I know, em party am bullshit. It's biggie set too
Set to miley cyrus his party in the usa- oh my god, I was up in a well we'll just I don't care. If we pull
When I get pulled off we're just gonna, lose it
we will be able to advertise on it, but I don't think we already are going to advertise to it. So I think we're fine you went here. It is. This is tell me if this isn't will will fade out to this song here this is you ready I'll play it right
for your mother have a great we govern body. I love you sat down on common law popped out. He was also know where the party that gets you again here. We go you ready money. Maybe I gotta go now. I think that's lines come and tell us where nobody, and also my favorite line right here- would bring about which there is no bad thing, but we do not have a very weak everybody.
The
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Transcript generated on 2023-07-13.