The its marathon weak everybody shut the fuck up mona common. Are dull. Try me nuts, MR borg, in the them over night. Last night, while we can, I solar cough- and I don't know what we're gonna do about that. Think I wanna get much simpler than I am right. Now I've been running, I've looked here, let's, let's, let's backtrack, because I think this all should start with the shaming of Tom Segura tom secure talk out of his ass. That's what he does. He doesn't think things through. arose get a marathon, but when push came to shove he started back in. Slowly but surely started back now. Are we really going to do this? We really Tommy skates doesn't really want to do this and serendipitous early. He booked a movie with Donnie Wahlberg and a letter

and rose MC gowan, and they an I mean my favorite cast in my opinion, Donnie Wahlberg and rose mcgowan there due land. I think it's called it's called big fat dad. I thank those big fat dad, I'm not certain and though they made him drive, dies beer to know. It looks like diamond alice page in the hay day. It looks like randy, macho man. Savage hillside and he looks like randy monuments, knowledge, savage, a diamond, dallas page I know you're, probably thinking poor, don't stoop to him and pushes levels. They always attack you and you never attack them. You always take the high road, but look around the miracle, a little you're right, you're right, I'm better than that, a much better than that. Let's just say, what's happening, I'm running the marathon Saturday sunday I prefer. To not tomorrow night, in grand rapids and and then I'm off to go back to l a on saturday, Atlanta saturday. This work is tricky because I probably will want to drink on the planks of four flights of five forty five, so I'll, probably bring some roadies

I want to drink the night before my run, sleep sober I wanted, sleep good. I don't want to take his annex. I don't want to. I wanted to sleep. I want to try to exhaust myself all day, I become a race beckett Saturday and then ban that ray. Starts. I think we're running six fifty I was one my corral starts Your plan, bert, I told you Bottle the turtle slow and steady, my The main thing is keep moving forward in this matter. One keep moving forward, shuffling feet. its stripes to shovel and selfless. That's our everyday, I'm gonna I'm gonna go on a plane, plaintive aiming to make a ammonia flight today, I'm an indefinite during my flight to have intellectually looking forward to it. A man might on the treadmill this afternoon I might run fry but I'm not running saturday when around half marathon I didn't run around here like wow. This is a fascinating podcast, bert, I'm glad we're doing more solo ones of you just talking

what a fucking marathon that I've heard nonstop about, but look, I'm I'm excited. Okay, I just have meetings. I had two meetings at a meeting with my team yesterday and then a meeting with my financial team today and all I could think about was this goddamn marathon and then in the middle. Someone goes said: are those assessments comfortable. You comparable those- and I was like thing about the marathon and then goes. my body made up rays, tat which are tattoos out I'll, show you up a poem up seek asylum race tat, the first time I put him up by the It was just a black power. why power rates race tat appear, but this his race, tat, my body, J b did them and their basically it's your pacing. It didn't come up. Fuckin images oshea with our sea You get another race tat. These are numbers, that's not what this is its. I couldn't I got money for to my messages to my messages. Coming nope, so

Anyway, it's re started tells you the elevation and the pacing the miles which is really important because they said the los angeles marathon is a is a thinking man's race. Let's see if I can find the super. The course map. For you see, I can I'm sure, I've gould I've googled everything I have appeared that I've googled this past week, there's James Michael, adam on the progress that was a great pot. By the way I really enjoyed it. Is the ceiling for my show. This the show. I google my shows their something's burning. We're gonna talk about that in a second, we got a new episode. and then re start. I guess it's not coming up who gives a fuck anyway it barely marathons of thinking man's race applaud the course so that you can see what I'm talking about a marathon course and the elevations kind of fucked up. So take a look at this.

tell me what you think: where's the elevation of grip on the customer drinker and really great podcast great podcast, where I really liked the course elevation there we go there we go here, we go so take a goddamn and take me back to the same fucking thing nope. We'll see if it's this one. This is for people on line. No, it's not coming up anyway, it's a steep steep and then it drops and then a steep and then it drops and steep and then it drops and then once I run this I'm going to do, number things I gotta show Sacramento the next. Following week, I'm going to buckle down, women are right to projects that have been working on, I too, and then more in. I think we're going into production very soon on another project that I've been working on. Which is gonna, be more interactive. I want I want to talk about the bird coins

two, it's gotta be more interactive. It's it's It's I I we're not certain, but I think what we're gonna do is table reads. I think we're gonna read the project. All my podcasts we're going to allow you guys to submit notes on what think about where the projects going we're gonna lie, as if submit jokes, we'll have open forums where we're gonna write. Jokes, In all honesty- and I follow you guys on twitter- some- you guys are the funniest fuckin people out there, and especially because, Dont care and because I don't really like no tweet having you might semi two or three jokes, but like stood ass. We did something about tom, not doing the marathon, and when I got the funniest fuckin replies, I tweeted something about not about doing the marathon and wondered if being sick was. It is if it was can be dangerous and some guy tweeted, mainly laughs, already goes, that's my sister, a pregnant. And I just was like all what a fuckin, what a fuckin home run anyway. So the marathon sunday so wish me luck. I will I'm just

try to finish it another sixty six minutes, six hours and forty five minutes. That's always dad's time I just wanna beat our his dead. I probably not tell everyone my time only only I will let people know if I beat our his dad. To give an exact time, because I d What time to have an operative. ready to revamp his plan to beat me in rollers gates and know what he has to be. I want to I wanted to be open, ended his tat. He had a chance he had a chance. He gave up the pots of. I think he gave up I've never done! I don't give up, but, like I know guys, I give up Tom gave up he's the new. Well, that's all he said to me are, as I got there I was doing this now that he's got a movie cabinet. Sunday, desertion you fly out and do the reason and come back be so sore so sore. Oh, so your many is deaf now, who also gonna be sore, who you I'm to be very sore

don't opposed party over my friends house, where we I'm gonna do is get drunk as fuck and I'm thinkin about on my right back. some. Oh bring back and forth of thinking about getting the altar meal which, in my opinion, would be, or just as in it, for really for living and allay. But I would my started my taco bell and getting a little lula masking p so I started off with lightning speed and through l a and buy things like, but don't go crazy. Hey. Can you pull into that taco bell crunchy at one mexican pizza? fire sauce for viruses and cut it for I'll put one fire sauce on each corner. That's one of my favorite things in the fuckin world and then swing by mcdonald's. Can I just get some fries at mcdonalds awesome. Thank you, sober taking you real quick six hours cheeseburger. I think we talked about this with. Do we talk about this with dancing germane? What the Some at meal would be. Oh, no todd glass, dancing, germans coming up next week s podcast werner release, it's fucking awesome. It starts off with love jet engine,

city, yeah. It it is such a good bye gets you gonna, fuckin love it. By the way we do not shit on Nicky, glaser, Amy, humor and Michel wolf, it will sound it will. I think both we're afraid we're talking negative about young female comics. We do not. We do just so you know we both love those women. We do not shut on them, so if it does so and we should all or not, I will try to make a point that I think dang got nervous whatever the hell does whatever Dan got nervous that that it was coming out negative and he was trying to cover tracks because he works for all them, and I was trying to stand my ground and say my point. My point was just that they. Put new situation, often that men don't get put into where they get a lot on their shoulders. At a young age, where men like myself, and bilbil and cigarette and a lot of us, we don't see arson us until, like thirty seven, where I was trying to say that this is the problem of the industry is something thirty seven with current female comics.

Businesses ike ages, you out and there like now, man look at mony can member and bert or you'll. Do a solo, podcast progress about stand up to really your airport pocket. Isabel stand up why I thought I was gonna, hear the pirates on so, but that gas. Is coming next week's can be really good, somethin's bar it's coming out, monday, brace for it. Who are you who? Who do you have on with you something's burning? the british job and Brian Cowen. I will say I will say across the board: brenti shop brennan shop kind of steals the show a little bit, because he's so, Naturally, endearing I mean everyone that saw it, everyone that was any at it was like the. What is going on like he's is really likeable and he's really really really likeable, and callin is fucking hilarious but brendan playing off brian brow

am being hilarious and brendan playing off him is fucking gold. Am I funny in it not really? I I think, that's what we found god. I think it's just a conduit for fuckin humor. I hope you enjoy it. I just hope. Look my whole go this entire years. Free content. I just want you to have as much freedom and then I can make I've got to more projects that are going to be kind a kind of not part Lastly, but more like foggy more, On scripted that were weak, worked more reassuring, shooting one I think in the beginning of an middle of April were shooting one which act. I know you guys alike its it it's kind of reminiscent of hot ones, but it's a little did with a different spin like its fights really cool we're gonna shoot in the man cave my buddy John and is coming out to shoot it for me and and then we no reply who are planning to call insect or tour that I think will be in august and not a like,

bury the lead or whatever, but for that. I think we're gonna bring John man's along with us and have him shoot it just so that we can put out video Every day of, like you fought, so you can follow the tour and that you enjoy it and if you do get to go yet to see what it was like and if you get to go, then you'll be on it, Do you like little segments there but of cameras and does have fun it just while being farming fun? business achieve so much that you just want to make sure you have fun. Is we don't? There's one time I'll talk about this again I talk to my door. todd biermann for my special, my special by the way very happy with it were in the edit right now, I'm in vienna, I want to be in the studio or in the added bay next week, giving minor cut cut but my manager is taking a look at it, the exact your browser, tony one of my best friends throughout my entire life, who just happened to produce it also.

He's given his notes and taught the directors given his notes. So by the time I get it, we should be good. For me at that point is just things where I think no one thinks to pop, and I want good intro, music douglas turning bananas for tommy, Nada, to go out with no music of the best fucking idea. Here I it's the best thing it thank god, but on the I was talking to taught and we're talking one night. We were drinking before the night before the special and. he was retirement, scuba, diving, you saying, don't, go, see, Driving Hooja, I should play a video of the fucking elevators, so is like I was like he was saying you should go. Scuba, diving and I was like yeah every gone. Scuba diving, fuckin socks. He was really Oh yeah, I'm like a freaked out its and he was like. Have you fuckin for Was it I got started? I gotta, don't worry, I got it, I got it yet I'm going to save and cancel, let's just get rid of that and then

He was like we'll tell me about the times: You gone scuba, diving and I told him he was like You don't seem enjoyable at all. I know no they're, not he was like wait. Why would you do that, and I was like that's just what happens by way, here's the elevation for the course I just found it. Oh cool! Yes, oh here it is, for the l, a marathon not go back. It starts at six hundred feet. Not a ton of elevation change, but three on her feet between friends of the lot and then by mile three, ops, all the way down. So the first three miles are gonna, be a fun three miles down by the stadium you just running down through echo park just going all down hill and then throughout down how to get a little hill. You climb back up your up and down here's. What gets really good? Now, it's pretty flat. from miles seven two mile. Third, gene and a mile thirteen miles fourteen where the comedy store.

This- is where we get our second wind. Some running it with her has his trail is running it with me at mile Fourteen is a comedy store, we're gonna, stop take a picture the communist or run in the marathon, of course, take pictures throughout imposed them all data instagram eminent I want to make this fun. I don't want to fuckin onawandah race. I wanted sightseeing tour through l, a Do some we're going to a picture dramas, chinese theatre, dodger stadium, Oliver ST little too Tokyo echo park, new, so francs, a love, museum francs. the work of fame hollywood and vine pen, the china. Graham and theatre whiskey Oh, go we're gonna take make sure that all these, but fourteen a start going downhill, downhill hard and they kind of slow climbs, abide through, say monica, which will be a fucking bore, twenty. It start climb

not that's when you hit the wall and, of course, the walls mile, twenty two mile, twenty four twenty three in that it twenty three all the way to the end, its all downhill. So the three miles will just be a fucking crews, downhill. I like the comedy stars like halfway, so once you get there, you can go. Ok, colony stores, halfway, yeah, that's cool and, and then this is. The map shows you that first about six miles, sucks dick it real. Does: it's can be a rough six miles, but then were well just flat run and all the way until we get to the store pretty much and no answer distorts done, help from their until its back uphill anyway So talk to talk and we're having cocktails and elevators sharks bay, he was like. You need to do a dive. you wanna do every job. I've ever done has been like first up wandered. I've got fifty feet to now.

thing just to do the technical staff I did with his grow kelly colleague, it's down there very, very simple I gotta do is drop your regulator. Look Your partner were holding on to each other's bees bc era. Yeah bessys, pcs were on our knees, defeat and its and the sun setting its dark. We can see anything around us. It's kind of murky, edward our knees at the bottom of fifty feet. She drops regulator on her mouth. Does the cut off signed to me and I'm supposed to if her my regulator. I do she forgets to clear and she stocks in the waters are choking worth fifty feet. There's no exit strategy. That's like that What am I not right? My gun? got the guy who's. Our dive instructor save your life. He took his bc crammed in her mouth and hit the air just powered indoor throat and salute all areas, just flooding or throat, and she's coughing up water, but there's flooding or throats coffee on water, and then he looks above them and he's like we're going up right now we have to the top.

she's crying I'm free down just watched her technically die and then he's ike? We're done colleagues. I know we have to do this She knows where production schedule. That's what as I told you about the other day, the problem, shot more people will get killed a broken, so we go back to and we do I go I'll. Do it could just one other thing to do it? I do at a clear we get our thing: stay we go or next I was. I like. Seventy feet sixty feet and I thought it up. I am then a drop in the ninety and it like no end its fucking horrible, whether its five foot see if we're in a we're. In a steel boat, there's lightning and and we're in a rush because we're racing that is going to get dark we will be able silly thing: it's! It's and then the next one was in in japan in ten foot sees people are throwing up on the boat. we're getting the water and we're watching them throw up over the side. People are throwing up in the regulators. Reading see said this

with the dives I've done, and so I tell Todd I go, I don't want to do those fucking dives and he's like no, that makes sense and where the elevators at sharks bay, I should just put it into and so he's a guinea known most people dive to their comfort level like I'm. Never going to my company run or have a comfort level I gather, oh my god, wanna talk about. Do I want to talk about dj envy anyway So as I get you need to find, you need to find, dive you want to do so. I was looking for dives think this is the one I was looking for, Yet this is the one. I love this video. freaks me out? This video is so. This is shocked by this over on the nor shore by why a and it's really

Beautiful there's much aris brown there, but the elevators these holes in the reef and this I looking into a whole, ought to cut the audio bodies pulled, and this is what doing by the way I'm going start holding my breath elsie buying into it You have been a good job, a minute, long, isn't it where you hold his breath and there's a guy behind them going like. I guess I'll, follow you by the way. This makes my hands sweat can't do it look at that. That is. Ro, I'm guessing by the way. We did something similar to this. You did Oh I've done something very similar to this. A number of times like this. By the way Can I tell you a lot of times when I drove down that deep, I run out.

Breath here and you're racing to the top. That is fucking intense, look at him. He does it again. He does another one, that's even more sketchy. We did this thing. I pause We did this thing in new zealand called the birthing canals, and so we want cash spelunkers will you gonna caves when it looked so timid and there? it it there's two routes in this thing we went in even go a very casual route or you can do like the more intense route, so pretty they're like let's go the intense route I'm saying to everyone, we ve all checked this right, we're all who, with this right, nor gay totally qualifying the first thing. says when we get off the the beaten path into the caves more by the way where waste high water chest high water at some places, he's ike and but that we get there and he goes everyone in the birth and can now the birthing canal is maybe as a little bigger. I would I'm

all popular twenty two inches diameter because I know that I bet in a whole similar to this I'd. I did a spelunkers trip in austin, where we had to repel down a whole for a hundred feet, twenty seven. Twenty two inches of with and so, when I got in, I had to have one arm down one arm up, because I couldn't, if my arms were like this, I get stuck so. I had my arms like this, and it was a hundred feet down that whole tunnel. Whoa. So when you went in and they told me, it was like eight feet that minute opens up a new repel down on her feet, but it was a hunter feet down is telling the Gaza coo ee. Oh, if you see If you see this little opening do not go in there, he goes because if you go in there you'll get stuck and we won't be able to get you out. I was like, oh my god, and by the way, If he had not told me that I would have gone in the opening, I would have definitely on the opening because it looked like that's where we were supposed to go. It definitely

and then I had to shut myself into another smaller whole from the opening I do exist. We're going to a smaller all. It was intense in a cave in a cave in Austin, it's it's! It's really. It's a man we'll cover is what they opened a manner or covering you feel steam just go out and the like are getting all and we hold down that not even Were they lowered us? They just lowered us That was a one one of the ones I did I didn't want, but the birthing canal, he's a greater role in the birthing cannot, by the way, I've guys with audio bags and gear and cameras there have going birthing canal So we get in and it is roughly the size, your body, but what's even scarier is they the waters high. So your heads hitting the of it, but your lips, just out of the water like you're, just like this to keep lives out of the water sea can breathe. and at times when you go through, you definitely take a breath and go under by the way. This whole trip

through this side was like that, where you'd get in what place and you had one on foot from your head to the ceiling of water and air and then and then it got even worse because by the way have lights. My body domains guys coming to shoot the thing he had lights, the whole time so he had like, because you want, you can see anything me. Things got a light. Next was camera, so time their filming you, your blood, and by a light all you know, you can't breathe. You can't see it was so panic inducing and I'm prone to panic. We're. Gonna think this place into what ptsd is. Is you you can't you just you got will deal with these emotions later I need to get the fuck out of here. I would one point words like art: we're going up a waterfall, I'm in a grand you, I'm gonna, pull you behind the waterfall. That's where you take your breath, then, once you take your breath, you start climbing up. you go in the wonderful. By the way. It is a full blown. Wonderful, it is pounds and pounds of water hitting your face. Nobody and there's no breathing as you grow up it.

You're climbing up a waterfall. Think we had harnesses on and I think they had you harness and they were pulling you up to, but I remember him pushing me behind the waterfall and you can either shouting everything's loud, is a brave breed breed and we're going and your like there's no thinking about it, do when I got out of their work late for our next shoot and we get out of there and we ended up into a pool like a little beautiful poor looked, I collect the pool from from vague asian with ed helms like that cesspool I dont know what was voted on in there, but I got in there cesspool I laid my back and I pray the god I was I thank you for getting out of this god so sketchy, but that's all My experiences with everything I did for travel, genoa like that they were never relaxed They were never like this. like some were some a really great known them. Lake powers and amazing experience.

Some of them are really awesome. Vietnam is really cool Rock climbing in vietnam is really cool, but, like some the more just just really fucked. I so scuba diving is one of those things so we're going to hawaii at the end of the month, and I was like I want to go, scuba diving and I want to go on my time I want to go where I enjoy it. I want to hire a guide and say here's what I want. I don't want to go deeper than fifty feet. I want to float around a reef like fifteen feet. I just want to float around and giggle and be like, and I want to go deeper when I want to go deeper and better that's what people do when they go. Scuba diving, that's what everyone does except for me. That's what everyone fuckin does I gotta gotta play this? This is This was going viral today. What is it dj envy that is ever heard of it? and then will end on this. I gotta get out of here. I gotta get a plane. Ok

DJ amby walks out of the back for breakfast club interview. Let's see if we can find this, I think on twitter to be easier. but you know so interesting is I'm so india hip hop and I'm so into them. The hip hop shows like sway, dj them, for club, hot. Ninety, seven honeys. There is no balance. I was on the paris club, that's ebro, he was trending today, so my bodies deals and merit. my bodies these as a miro and by the way I have a vested interest on fans bears. I have explained that guy explained fan them to me on the last podcast with James Michael, but answer. There are some fancy there's because I found them and I m they made me laugh. I was introduced, but it s about events in, And they made me laugh and then,

They made me laugh every morning. Every morning, a watchman I get a kick out on their irreverent, their young there, their hip hop their new york there. Just really cool guys and then I literally fought to get on their show. I was like I wanna be on their show, and I know stay in your lane is like the dice, like the the the cover all the two thousand eighteen with tromp and what not stay fuckin lane, but man I did it, and wasn't. I was unemployment, their best guess. I've ever had bruce any shit and I get a kick so they go on and they talked shit about everyone. there's the crazy things. They really promote new. york radio, because they talk about new york, radio, all the time on their show there never show on vice that vice linda The air is everywhere and they always talk about charlemagne and free Indeed, I am b and they talked about Just blew up charlemagne the other day, because

what was the girls name, the black black check moaning. Monique went on called out charlemagne and kept call him by his street name We also need collar. Astronomy aim was like so Oh bad ass cause you're like because charlemagne was cool about it. He was a little pissed, but he was like and she stuff, like don't worry the streets or come for you. Some like that. You know I'm paraphrasing Don't stand behind your black women distrust. oh fuck, intense and this morning this is on the sea? Let's see if we can see the so otto. what happened. So I'm not going to show The call out video- because that's interesting but was interesting, is de, be walking offset dj. Diesel said something about some additions. that full about de jammies.

Wife was very light by the way, my opinion it was this site. You know He knows I d danby checks. Issues like I don't know him as the gambie like. I know him is my husband and which is why I would say and then he goes over. She knows I d danby jacks, Basing sayer, like I was it wasn't even islam, like you, said, Y know, I've does another machine, though it does not the machine, but if issues I don't know the machine, my kids on no the machine, and then these are said he ever they know those machine tax I would be so that is a little bit of difference and I would say, between black and white, but I think an age of men, like some mendel, like the families talked about it. All you know like doesn't, We bother me, I think, if you make fun of my kids, it would hurt my feelings or I'd be like to Would you do that shit about my wife. Upright join in you know, but that's, but things are different an indefinite notice in in new york hip hop radio stations, you don't, I people's kids with their wives. You do not. I know that

I know a mere miro comes on us as he doesn't like anyone talking about his wife, but that's eyes. speck thing and I think that's cool. I a tablet. Draw but Kevin Brennan. Just did it to this guy, which was a great fuckin video grave anyone, Jim and sam. He just did it, this guy who said I'll fuck, your daughter, and Kevin Brennan was like what the fuck and stood up and try to fight him. Now, that's a little more intense than what are these. Set about dj vu, make the you know. Those checks by the is wife, was upsets going like. I love him, I'm not here for the money. You know but then this is what happened. Ok hold on a second, you can let that slide down. It won't even know, but you know, but it's it's a hip hop show okay yeah! I wanna see hang on. so I see danby walking out

no, I charlemagne is my love charlemagne. Look at him. Look at him! Look at em. We do in fact city to brilliant branding, Jesus Lynn that at least for the game will be chairing. That's why I'm of charlemagne? by the way that's an interesting slam.

He said that edwards light skinned as if he can't taste. I was like what is that a new cinsault, alright light skin, instead of not having thick skin yeah. This is them defending it. Like a bitch to me, that's just not us! He just trust us on air about it. We apologize to feel better. What I'm saying am I wrong? It seems like a harmless joke and people don't really know their whole story, so I mean, I think what it is is that people probably do say: oh see, For the money all the time, but he probably felt like we pool y'all come on the show and good definitely has held him down from the beginning. I I love what I love about hip hop. We thought we could we could we I love and hip hop when they're like they have to use hip hop phrases to speak about things de as deadly held him down and you'll like it didn't cool. When you hold you down boo, you know, but I gotta go. I got it,

So I obsessed about this this morning I saw them walk love these as a marathon watching them on anything there on and then I see them get called out and they were very repentant. They apologized They part of them was, I get, is a joke. I think there were standing behind that. That's upset him, and then I think, and indeed jammies defence, and by the way I am the only one defending him. Twit black twitter is tearing them apart. Twenty thousand tweets about dj amby this morning at six in the morning when they went down to a thousand. He went viral quick and room was turned him down: audiphoned dj ambien that I think we're havin fun and he was still upset and he was just be alike. I think he was like I'm just gonna up, I'm gonna take a break, I'm gonna take a breathing. I don't think he thought it would turn out to be what it is. believe, I'm talking about but this is what I'm obsessed with I love. I do love him, but I ll talk about a much a lobster.

A comedy alone, vacationing. and- and I love booze. as well and memory marathons soap, this will process this week, opposed the broader whenever I think although all the other stuff I've googling. Let's take a real quick once and see if there's anything else The timorese stuff that was that was James Michael close out window out, see, what's goin on real, quick in the entertainment news. I love doing this love entertainment news. I would really be an entertainment news. Biographer. Thirty five minutes May we go a little bit longer, we'll get it to like forty I don't want to kill you guys with an hour of me just talking shit, rihanna snapchat says: AP made a joke of two thousand chris nine brown assault: okay, okay,

Furthermore, I am just shocked at that. Guy has greer, oh yeah, What's this documentary her and then you're like? Ah, I feel so bad wait a minute, yet Humanity was a fucking fluffy. Hitler had a very comparable one where he He shot up as it is georgia where they brought his dog up. You'll, see that brought it so they were trying to change hitler's like they wanted to like. brands a little rough we we want to. Kind of make you a little more like user friendly, so We're not no matter how hitler that seems aggressive how this haven't we, you your dog, so the guy hitler dogmas, shepherd german shepard and they bring it up. His daughter, by the way nor mcdonald special, was called hitler's dog. So so he talks about this. In this I don't know. If we talk about this, I think he talks about someone else. Anyway, they go. and their shooting video of hitler and

the dogs coming close and there's no sound in it and I'm sure they're, like hitler, pet, the fucking dog, I've never done that. I've only killed them exterminated. Like the fucking dog learning like ok, so we reaches tat the dog and clearly its hitler's dog. He knows the guy behind closed doors. He's be run in with him. When he's had a signs of beer and the dog, discos and whimper, away from hitler and backfired, but where's brown documentary and by the way, I'm just saying like hold the fought like. hold the line. People if you're, not be cool with people be up women. Then it's gonna be all people like, I don't get my wife and my wife for a number of reasons, number one. I am everyday in this way in any one I was drunk, I'm afraid, I'm in a measure- but I don't hit me Joe, it's a joke. By the way I don't hit. Just so you know, you're listening. I pay her me telephone sage on them.

I don't hit my wife only my wife, because I love her and I respect her and I don't hit anybody. I don't hit people, I dunno people, how about that. We also don't hit people. I don't like people who hit people either and but like across the board across the fuckin board. Okay, towards a thing that fuckin frustrates me about this. It seems like a little selective. American idol, katy parried, didn't sexually arrest them whew by the way, keep Harry. I would like to play a game called sexual rights meant, or I have a hard on god. or ass me all you want katy bury. She is so fucking hot. I guess I guess, if its, if your I guess it would be weird. I had a dream. I cheated only last night. The dream was, is so bizarre, but the dream was for half of I was captain america and people are trying to catch me. Cheating on my wife and

I knew that my wife was sleeping with another guy and I want my wife wasn't land by the way. I am can, I was but a kind of wasn't and I was like. I knew the he was sleeping with this one girl that also of sleep with me, so I had I thought if I can catch the to them in a hotel room and then show it to land and shall come back to me. Cause shall know the guy she sleeping with is a cheater as well. I was also addresses captain America, but I was wearing captain america pajamas and the hat so like they goofy pajamas and a hat. So so, I go into the room and the girl I realize is in on it. She realized, heard the guy or actually close and now She is going to try to lure me into her and he's gonna catch me improved approved liane that I cheat was smoking on shoes fucking out, so I get it for you,

well, I'm explained in the plot of how we gonna catch the two of them and she's. Like he's not even coming, but I'm character. America's Y know he's downstairs. She's like islamic, come it's just me and you she's worrying loose fitting top and the door bell rings and its and its room service, and they put delivered Tito's and soda big quality, those big ball a soda and some diet. Cokes I had always like trying to catch me because matter. If I hide the embassy tito's odin know that I'm in the room. So I go oh over the door. I go grab that she goes and grabs issues. I locked the door, I go ok, so I over the door to see the door's locked and the doors open, but the locks opened so the locks keeping be an open until it. Oh, this bitch is trying to get me.

I know this is going on. Now I go into the bedroom and she's totally naked and she looks amazing, amazing and suddenly all right for a little bit. So I get totally naked with her by sub captain america mask on naturally, and I get in bed, and I hear a knock at the door and I say to I say to her: I go get rid of the tito's and soda and I nod my head and I appear right, and I see that the sheets go she's in bed by herself now, and I end up in bathroom, I'm in the bathroom and unlike fuck, how I gotta get out of the bathroom substantially and that's it. does a man are still in the fuckin room and make it all I was, is captain america on the got she leaves and goes to check. To the door, and it is the guy I walked out of the bathroom I climbed out the window and in captain america style I creep up the wall with my soup reuben strength, a creep up the wall back

words: I'm a bum on the outside a building, twelve stories up above the window by like five feet and holding myself their naked in the captain america had on, and I hear that to them talking. I hear that guy, and the girl talking, whereas E she was he was just here. He was just here and then I hear lands voice and, unlike all so I flip around, so that I can like peak in the window. So now upside down above the window, almost like spiderman right, captain Amerika had on totally naked and I go. look in the window and lee opens the window and looks out because I know you'd, be there. You're fucking, captain america, like it here, it's going to be outside the window and I was like are busted and I was busted. Then I woke up. Why don't you fucking dream anyway? Somebody please animate that one. Danny boil- says: he's writing and directing james bond twenty five, because the black james bond tumor your perils of block busting out over the care nirvana Drake Travis Scott, you do Schmidt's schuster, twits view

Well care. Oh that's the twitch! I don't really understand twitch, I know young jamie. Does it yeah you watch people play video games, the habit, that's fucking fascinating, it's not! What do you want? A star was on jeopardy and the internet was so shock. I broke the internet. I hate fucking lame sayings like that signing a man is like its stale, its stillness, my kids do that I get mad at them sought but the. But that asked be like oh fuck off. Don't I hate those sayings. I hate broke the internet ocean shit bert rather reynolds still considers sally feel the love of his life. By the way. I pity watching porn I saw you. Sally fields is one of the hottest fucking women alive today. Still she still beautiful, biofuels. Alien looks exactly fields, I don't see it now. New avengers infinity More teaser is released, mega market when Prince Harry's royal wedding, everything you need to know, but I don't need to know any of it actually am I invited nope. I know

they invited like nine hundred pedestrians and other Nicky Glaser gotten. Double for making mega markel smiles like everyone's I won't say why would you in solar like that and it becomes too key because mega mark marco's, a woman of color, as in any white feminist, I was getting attack for being a white feminist and not like supporting all women of color and pork Nicky was like she just is like rep. She, like, she's, a fan and she'd replicate or smile. That's it it's a stupid instrument post and their funding Nicky, try to fucking replicate mega mortal smile and people after all, what would you do that and point if you'd like I'm not, If making fun of her Jesus some, a comedian who gives a fuck shadow to prince airy for fuckin marrying a blank cheque. I do. I love that guy he's so which better the william he's favour and by the way, this same gotta worry wore a hitler costume to a foreign party. in vegas, beata, prince stood

yeah well pull that right now know, I'm certain that's true. I might have made that up prince Harry Hitler, I'm sure that fuckin rule, harry. Hitler prince airy goes nazi yup, you see it You weren't nazi costume here taylor, you that you see that you are a nazi costume, do a party looks mean he those desert nazis, though you can't blame them. They were just fine, a war, africa right. Where we are with entertainment. I just looked up sally fields and she she doesn't like lan, a real it s. You look so closely with the same smile, brown, hair eyes, harper, liza state sousa broadway version. A mocking bird horribly just died. Hardly apparently was The last book came out apparently allegedly was like a raising raging racist.

She's was just a woman who was born in the south in the fuckin teens. So I means it like. How would you expressed your progressive for them? Georgia? Does this thing georgia's reading, to kill a mocking bird and so George we'll do the voice, that is the narrator. I think what for what's her name? Gin is the broad the scout is the narrator and she will do scout voice in an old southern accent, but she'll tell the story and ridiculous ways: ngo copernicus, not copernicus, copernicus kapernaumov component was the type in to kill a mocking bird capponi. A pony, a made me a waffle out of a flu flop this morning and I God bite in us smacked gin as hard as I could across the face and us again this is the best damn waffle I've ever made out of uplift flop. Copernicus

a blue, rapidly love she'll, tell stories and makes me, laugh so hard blows. The capacity of jack halpern cow, purtier cow pirnie made me flip flop waffle. This mornin amend gin didn't want no sweat but our own it rapidly. You're says he won't stop criticising present trump got. Mercury discusses five a minutes. Success don't know who he is camel. Jenner, pushes back or rumours about her sexuality, don't really care jennifer. loop has on me to moment with the director. I was terrified, did what the fuck man, whose director. I haven't been abused and away some women have, but I have told by a directorate. Take my shirt off his show, my boobs. Yes, I have. I did it, I did

did what did I do it? No, I didn't he I've been told Ivan. ass, take my shop on the guys are really care. There is weird cat things like you, don't know through doing it. and by the way, should have like huge boobs so like who, as jailer to take their shirt off, don't. You know there was a time she wasn't jailer. She was just an answer. Is that any from the block right catholic? Gifford still talks with harvey wine seen him bill cosby. I don't judge them yeah whom no words for that. I have no. I mean. I have no vulcan words that I still hearted bill, cosby and harvey wednesday. I don't judge them Chris cuomo He's off. Do mornings. Unease going over to NBC to the girls

where do they got going over there or fuckin cardi b, I don't know anything about, be I'm keeping around a membrane. To marguerite urville that's gonna, be fuck and also by the way, I'm a big jimmy, buffet van I'll always be jimmy buffer fan. I got really sick in vegas, his marguerite is oh drinking to many other food poisoning, yeah drinking too many of them is so sugary and so sweet that I felt like comply in dog shit. When I got back lol, my car picks me up a forty five fucking minutes. I don't think I'm enough time to run. Maybe I'll run hard for, like thirty just run on the mic and just explain to us how you're doing I wish I talk to. I talked to let's see on HOLLAND. I was looking up hot ones. The other takes this project working on and I was looking at their cast. Pretty fuckin pre bad asked, lazy, Israel.

he really is he's. Also man, I love shant charm and then, let's just see us just tell you to bro quick. And see what's training on youtube and then we'll wrap this up by the way this is technically all the stuff. This programme That's out on! We do is just a little. Catch up, it's a little bit of a solar one, its most. For me to try to write material. I talked about about an bills. I get really helps me right, Go on. I talk about the stuff in my head, I kind of freestyle with it. I talked to delete, the other day and he was saying the same thing he was like yeah. It really helps me writing and I'm finish our and I'm having a hard time writing new jokes. Only joker britain is, I would say, flashlight attachment for alexa slightly shut her up the right way there is no man, she turned on him bit This is a mere oh! That's all I have charlemagne verses moaning, the button, PA aghast

this is all I t K Kirkland. They were talking about whether black people via chapelle funny all the like all the theirs genre of comedy that is like black comics like ticket hurtling, show you never standing like your life. I, why was stayed one night to why? Jimmy's really funny anybody's ike he's he's like he's, got the streets, love tee cake kirkland like day love him and ass. I mean I'm trying to say that the right way but like he shows are all black, but it's when you see in all black audience like that, it's not you! It's not like a white audience like their state. They sit differently in their chairs in their get up and walk around and they are talking but they're, not being disrespectful about talking, and pay attention. It's really fascinating, it's very. Different than a white show and I think Phase on love came out said: edwards, don't like Dave, chapelle, Edwards

I have a Dave chappelle, I'm paraphrasing. Obviously he said the real word. And people disagree with them, but then area spears came out and agree with them. Kind of message. David to say in the days to come up and the in the black rooms, which is accurate because but that would not accurate really because you start, d c named, they called easy what city is best. Friends are black jews who are now then by. We did not like a white acting activities of black duties he's like he's all right lord byron dude, but he's black he's, not he's alex legs, what like they're, trying to paint about his wayne Brady or something he's not and by the way wayne brady a real black suit. I'm just you know. This dangerous territory for a white to talk about, but I'm telling you that what I was googling and southern he can came out and he actually defended dave. He said that, yes, the Firstly, he was playing the white audiences when he was younger, but that was the business. That was

The business was for shaping em, but when the ship- how came show came out to them black. Audiences embrace him. It was funny and I think everyone embraced him, but I think everyone SK covered him, really discovered him on the shelves yo and better. I don't have a dog in this fight. I must say on one side of the others. Right I will say: personally, I can't tell you of black people thought linux. Black, never been like hanging out with black people, knowing that what they find funny enough, I'm funny I've always found them funny as fuck. That's all I'll say: Al Pacino is job turner. Either question shoe. You are there that, like six nine guys right at the area, something yeah me posted about it, and then I remember looking him up and I was like this is intense. The sky weird yeah he's a weird dude by them everything I everything I google so fucking. Looking up,

I just literally I just google, like anything black eyes, do. That and eating contests and rogan I pulled up when the fight was ending and it was fucking. Chaos was religious chaos and I I saw it cops talking to the other guys. I saw them cup following the other guys. In I mean it was like just to put it mildly. Active. I was almost I checked in my bags curbside and then I got in line for security, and I was with him in line for securities. That's how close we work to the fight, but then and then this is, I made a mistake, but I was celebrating metabolism instagram because he he He his album was coming out friday and it was this was wednesday or thursday. I was like, oh of course he gets

I bet he stage a fight. I bet he hired guys to come out Timmy. Was our teams caught all of it? It's all in terms. If you want to see it and a man pulled up, so you see it you're like one. Why don't you pull it up right now, burt and six, nine t m Z, and I was like what a genius guy for staging a fight. And then you notice so smart and then everyone was like so like by the way I am I'm pulling up right now. My car, as this fight happening to london, come on tmz, but and so and then a bunch of people texting me and the like you're, the mexican mafia is after him like. Don't call him a gene. Yes, your you wanna hear supporting like a lot of you came after me. Like bert, you don't know

What you're saying man he's not a genius, he molested a child, and I was like okay, like I don't. I was like as my instagram stories like. I don't really like the guy, I'm just telling you you're not like a fan of here here here: by the way, six. Nine kind of this is him to kashi six, nine, the guy with the yellow hair began to get worked in this fight, look, watches what you were here. Taking certain jacket off, I guess is going down my jacket inside then. No, no, no What I've done? No one I've done watches he gets punched punched. This is the fight by the way, I'll tell you when I pull up We're here MA am not a hard hit, not a hard hit. Ok

another way, by the way, these two guys are working tee to cause she's ex ninth policy and because he's designs running around like I want to do. Something ought to do something and then all of a sudden he gets here watch him get thrown, he gets goes. fight the guy and the guy tackles them and throws them now, I'm pulling up now, I'm pulling up. Ok, We just kick them in the face by the way two guys pull out again shit hold water. shit, ok, ready now right right! Now, I'm pulling up right now, I'm pulling up cbc, bert and of inner reflection. I'm on my way to the right, by the way, I'm right to the right.

That cadillac was still there here we go here. We go I'm I'm really I'm watching them. I'm watching all this. In my car right, there watching. All of this happen by the way they did talk to him. A little bit right, there's! Maybe I was a little later, but that don't go yes, I yes froze it. It's it saved are so that's the pod guy It's just an extra will do these will try to do them every week and just throw them up on youtube and is basically for me to write and talk and tell stories and see if I can find stuff to maybe go my act, maybe I'll work on this week, maybe I'll work on the birthing canal or what it was like to an I'd like to tell some stuff about travel channel stuff. I did so much. Britain is so different, eleven twenty one I think

me running today is not going to happen. Maybe I can push my my car picks me up in in an hour, if you're wondering I'm getting I'm getting these albums sent to me, I mean so many it's ridiculous, so keep sending them I'm not by the way. I I don't have the heart to break some of them like I could never break the steve martin l. I can never break it. It's like I like him too much. You know, and I want to listen to it. Sweaty Hackett. I love abbott and costello. I love johnny Carson do this. Is I mean this is like these are the best bits from Johnny Carson, whoever sent them to me. I got his name,

his name's hang on one second, oh the bert coins. I want to talk about that real quick. I thought you might enjoy these vintage comedy albums put in your man cave. Thank you sean Hartmann. I appreciate it. These are really cool with a walker, Cheech and Chong and then down. Oh that's when ass, whenever one starts enemy, other ones, we like Don, like really kind of my listening indictment mountain to record player, now baby sick the record player, and here it is listening. Lorries records the ones that are left some of them double apple, album of we'll coaxing norma will go fan like I can't break wilco. It's my like that. That's an expensive stack of records, so there's like this is probably one thousand dollars worth of records. Maybe yeah there's a lot of them. Just say that they're, all ten bucks, maybe they're, not records, twenty dollars. Oh my god. The double islands like sixty dollars, oh yeah, so

keep centre records, maybe I'll start a record collection and just blow or his mind. That's sick, bert goin have been designed for we're working on the design order them. They should be ready. Unlike for weeks, we haven't fake figured afford for six four weeks. We haven't figured out the process of getting them yet, but we will figure that out when we know we'll will announce that and so yeah. I just hope you guys have a great week, I'm off to grand rapids, and I'm back marathon sunday, I will keep you posted fall on. If we want to see what's goin on the marathon And and then next week after that, I'm in sacramento Sunday show there are tickets available for the late sunday show knock Romano and then, after hawaii, and then I'm in san Antonio kentucky lapsing into in turkey, and you talk and then we're doing big, shows, are- and I haven't, announced some but ordinary, decent theatres together in late june, we gotta

your big show coming too late you than I can announce yet that's Can it be pretty big chicago? I don't have a timescale yet some men and indeed be comedy first in pittsburgh. I think those are all my tour dates. I'm kind of slowing down, I'm gonna, do some more spots in the city and try to because I want to my new our to be ready by the time my netflix special airs. So that I can go to my new our figure. I knew our undoing special and and work on these projects will talk about free content. I want you guys to enjoy. I know how I am like look, obviously I'm taking a ton of free content, and so I enjoy it. I'm a fantasy! this marrow because of all the shit they put out online. I love it So I just want you to keep in join it and and had up Tom today and let him know that he a welter and that you can or let down, and that you really always believed in him tat. You thought that he was the hero. He was. The I that you could really understand. He did the hard work the right way he did the

work the right when he lost wait. He followed Jos diet to a t. He didn't mickey managing it and just not eat for fuck in a month. He did it the right way by. Way, I still way less than him. I still way less than I've kept the fuckin weight off. I still lay way less. Madame and the end Morton. When a movie. I think we're like you: we need you bigger so there. wouldn't put on weight. I think you put on one hundred and fifty pounds. Oh my god. That's big news! By the way I love fucking with orient tom. So much. I can't even tell you all right So that's it! How much time do we do an hour an hour have a great weak everybody. Thank you. So much the this episode,

Well, do you bad machine? Ok, Julie. Have you made your decision? Oh wow? I have. This was a tough choice. I had such a great time with brad, but I am going to have to pick. I go interesting. Geico is just so. You can emotional been by my side in a first so long with great customer service. I thought we had something. Truly, I'm sorry, brad geico he's just always there for me. Whenever I need them, it's an insurance company. No, it's an insurance partner brad for the choice. You can always rely on go to guide code, dot com, this break is brought to you by adobe photoshop, here's a fun fact:

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