This week Dave Anthony picks a paper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds and guest comedian Maggie Maye
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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the alright! Everybody welcome to the pastimes podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked up by Dave, Anthony I'm Gareth reynolds and I've never seen it before, and neither is our guest this week maggie may-
love maggie grants for joining us good. How are you I'm good? Thank you for having me before. We see.
and let's just say: if you want to follow maggie, who is a hilarious comedian, I've done a lot of shows of maggie. You can follow her at maggie may
ha ha, but that may em a why e maggie man
and I should point out that you are my mother's favorite comedian, and that includes me. I started kind of funny and cute little bit. I got really real and became this a problem now, where
I swear to god. I swear to god two days ago, or so I was talking to my mother and she said she brought you up to like her family
what the she was. I was she's just got that one joke about. Unlike what are you doing? Laugh, I'm not gonna, write, didn't know. I may get onto the christmas card new letter there
Actually there isn't one, but I bet you. One starts for yeah come on, everyone get in say maggie on three to three maggie or what I did that year and be like yeah care to it's just
You me and my mother: what is your problem when I just do it?
Did you miss adoptive maggie may stuff this year by lord meticulous, just maggie avenue,
pictures from grade school. Let what I'd do it when I'm doing not doing this, but yes,
Thank you very much. Megan follow maggie and don't fall.
and now we have to go through a paper
Oh, do you want to take a gal guess too, but you want to take a guess. Is what year, what are they? The year
parameters are sixteen tend to who will
not this year to allow up to twenty twenty twenty twenty two, so you can guess what year you think it's just a fun little start, and I guess I can go first, I'm going to guess I'm going to guess seventeen ten
I dont think it will be that, but I just wanted to be a further aggravate a year.
Here we are
and tat fifty one
well we're gonna have a winner, that's she's! Much closer. I told you. I was wrong. Nineteen twenty ok way closer.
yeah november, twenty seventh a.
The evening journal from Wilmington delaware, my life. So now
you get to find out if delaware was as boring and nineteen twenty as it is today. Oh yeah.
Well, you know you're the first headline.
Only one chair
for many months, the little city of cologne in in france possessed but a single chair, and it was
property of the mayor?
Early this year is the absolute absolutely crazy about.
This right away,
This is not a local story, so they were allowed to pick amy's from France
The stories like the mayor only had one chair
harry, knew no, the town?
The town had one cheer. The town itself only had one share.
yeah. That's how I got mad. So there
before they may regret says they were like. We need an industry. We
have any chance,
think, they're talking about like the.
the city hall or whatever it was only one chair. It's just
It's gotta be what they're talking about Dave. There's no version of this. That is going to make too much sense, so sure yeah, it's the city hall issue.
it was officially known as the chair
I haven't done this yet, but I'm probably going to take off. So if you guys are on a habit.
entail junior red cross of america sent to that city. A great
I can't read this word low.
with chairs and tables that had been made by the boys of america in their manual training school last
you're thousands of these articles of furniture, were sent to the devastated area of france.
oh, after the war, oh it's after the war. What so, after the winning or they have allowed,
at times in war is tat. The changes now on its author at the german. This very area do not sit down favouring did what
So it was the german chancellor who did this probably
terrible terrible man. You're fired it's, not! Ok, ok! So
so there's so they got so american. So America stepped up again as we call it chair america.
And we set over some of our best and best boyscout built chairs.
we ve been for since the beginning of a man,
and that's how we colonize as we first we sent? That's how you know and then the french, like, oh my gosh yeah, I forgot how good sitting down was. This is incredible. Oh my all these are fucking their cell phone law
look at my butter.
Now I've got more fuck energy
the real lou.
Maybe the answer to your question is no, like you know when
when the gent for fires
Like, oh god, you know what this war torn country made it.
Just really just paint into we didn t get them some chairs, no economic aid from what has been delayed. Could we possibly
have some food and sings that now, but we may job a bunch of chairs. So that's that's pretty good.
we did. Our young people are starving. We need the where.
I wish you guys talk to us sooner, because we really they were pretty far down this chair whole right now. So here go. Maybe
Eric good boy was not made well made here by employees. The equipment chairs, refurnished people
yeah, like you should be doing. You should be doing like pinewood derby, but then, like the scouts, showed up they're like what are we doing today, we're going to make more chairs fuck. We already have that badge. Cape making chairs
I don't make a chair to the french people like it. Of course they do. Should we make up food, then
that therefore edge they just need cigarettes.
I can't believe you didn't
a chairman in there
I did so. I dont know how to chairman yeah you're right, fair enough. I did think like
City hall, there's the chair: you notice
the turn of the chair. The chairman of the chair, I mean
image of this.
It's a damn thing.
The next headlines.
This page makes up each one may,
up in days, cost smith. Five down
thinking that yesterday's like something like a grandma's date book.
Is not a newspaper.
I made a mistake: it it's going to cost me five dollars. I think I can get my comedy career covered on the newspaper
that's what we're begging on.
The figure me yesterday was sunday on which day traffic officers are not on duty. James Smith ran past a stop signal given by traffic officer John
scott at fourth and market,
smith said that he did not look for traffic officer at the corner and when the officer called to him he
not seeing him thought it was a friend and not observing anyone. He knew continued on his way to front
orchestrate where he was overtaken by officers smith, a fight,
five dollars and
costs was imposed on smith. Ok,
so he was.
Driving on a monday thinking it was walking on walking on a other things you on sunday,
I think I he maybe he isn't, but I think he's walked. Okay, I might be wrong either way he's out and he has no doubt he's wrong on the day. So then, like a enforce of traffic and force
an officer is like hey and he's like. I know about it. Is there, but he doesn't know he is so he just keeps walking yeah,
Guy comes hours like that's five dollars, yeah, that's
We met the story, that's page one by the well, it's better that isn't I mean it's a little more there's like a twist there's a dutch ably. How does the day of the week the year into the
That was a sunday aids
because I sunday they would have work right is. Are you saying that sunday he was thinking sunday? There were no cops, no copies
and we know that america is no problem about how fucking a mate wine. Can we need to do that? We just
to bring back sunday. No, I mean that we would just sundays. Would
the amazing? If a crime,
yeah I mean
I would like to think that if there are no more like stuff going on besides crime, but I think that the college, like the climate of which this year, I believe, is the bottom open murders. It really would be purge day now that you take the candle, for
the old man I want to get on one day of the week,
You go out from one day.
Well, why are these guys chasing me? Oh god, I thought it was monday. No it's sunday! Oh no! Oh no! You don't have to tell me the ethnicity of the dude in that in that damn article to be like, oh, I didn't think cops are here today. I didn't
I didn't think I follow, but why I thought I break belong way, but on the way
wave and fully
I have a
I need to know what day of the week it is we're carved up a day's mixed up, hope, say: I've dollars I gas and giving them
it. You like ours with funding
it covers ipod, that's ok, sir. It happens all the time I wish we were friends.
Does
what guy walk una
ok. Anti fly drive makes her ill and fly.
miss Charles readings attempt to swap the fly brought her to the hospital here.
Lie that had been rising found. How big is this? Why is achieved?
This is it
miss redding is domestic science teacher. She scattered poison, to kill the flies in her classroom. I mean physicians, they live like three days:
it's. The position stake or illness came from when she inhaled the powder poison. Yes, she so it's a science teacher that doesn't know how to kill flies when she is just treating poison like chicken feed and just gone like there. You go there.
Is throwing she's drawing powder poison around her line, we're hedge measure, a lot of kids get sick nowadays, what's up must be got around their dying for a fly
probably when buying portion of the newspaper, wasn't even condemning her with do I and so out, there's the keepers of our own
oh yeah, that's when they made the discovery that kid's can't have poison kids shouldn't get poison.
This is one of the bigger over reaction. Is this? Is this the largest over reaction to a fly in the history of the world? I never!
I've never heard of it so
poison around the room to catch a fly like ok, yeah sure this is this thing will die.
Very soon have natural causes
What year was a hand invented
yeah.
like how do I more danger on a molecular level
I'll, just used by hand up
poison in rome, where you are you're right there,
Thanks in air is worth five thousand dollars is going on this issue.
Under the crazier first pages we ve had
what's a mere worth of antonio, let no its ever ask their people,
I asked that all the time how much for your ear, he never had a guy ask how how did you do for a year and what's the set cause,
if money's worth. While this is just a list that would get banned, but they just let to ask for an ear on the front say this
the EU must do all ranks less times
I mean really is. This is just like what the fuck. You know, france, only as what chair this night is killer, firework, poison,
hey I, but you are for that year, pick it up.
What's the best offer on Antonio leah
I'd tonia Andrade, thinks half an ears worth five thousand he's asking that in court.
Of peter fonts and says thoughts lit
of his ear off
They also wants a hundred and fifty dollars and physicians boy. He he bit
a guy's, a guy bitter guys, IRAN and he's inquired what we ve seen that we see that cigarette thyssen we ve seen it yeah
eating thyssen, but still to get asked. So he thinks half his ears were five grand yeah.
I guess I'm a pretty lucky. I guess that's the question: what is an area that is act like now? The art, it's weird, maybe at a point where I'm like this article makes sense.
That is their piping for half of the year, because if you bite my ear, half my ear off on rounding up
I'm call that a holier yeah
Are you running yeah? That's it.
the policy we have always had picked it up
What are you nibble because you bury you bought it
our way better
great now, but it's a great sign to hang onto your head. What is that you you bid and you bought it? You bought it. Just keep that in mind when it comes that his head,
The tags knows all of it and soldiers.
Johnny by oh, that's right, because it is that's sketchy.
It's not bad.
We're back on the body parts
are we? Are we still from paging?
we're a page to we're on the body. Part area
just lost his eye.
asked is digital man, I swear to god, you started with lost his debt and I cut you off. I was like this story dwarfed. How about just half a dick cost? Yeah
heads which side you bit. Ok,
Oh he bit the he bit apart. Word connects to the body, but not at all. We ve got an echo bangkok,
Ok, what was the actual article?
lost his digit it a street car wow
Okay. This is a story out of this. This was at des moines. This happened in des moines, okay, gimme back my finger. I paid my fare yelled vincent cole seat to the streetcar conductor. You can,
now the company can use it and
actual conversation. Yeah
said the ass as he opened the platform door and let
call see, remove the tipp of his finger. Clipped off by the sudden closing of the spring panel
she's at the city hospital. So so
Ok, so the conversation was really casual. Give me back my finger. I may get it for you. I like to think you said, give me back my finger the way and the same cadence that miss gibson said, give me back my son and ransom: the devil.
I forgot
the guy responded, you can have it now. You can have it company can't use it. You can have another company can't use it. So the street car company can use the finger
you can have it now. He must be having a laugh right. Maybe
maybe they had a thing of think thing that they did
here's, but at this point there not using maybe they have too many fingers
I found myself see wagon.
didn't pay your fair, I, but they gone quit the thirty's.
honey, I'm fingers I'll. Do it, please
at my lungs jews or take my pinky,
it happens all the time? What have he put it? Did he
Put his finger: where says it says
the the sudden closing of the spring panel, so that the dormice just quickly
where's, the nearest stand there and he was like that's where we're headed
any other guys like a prayer, yeah yeah
I want my money back my finger. Where were we?
happy years worth five grand I'd put a pack of finger and about to fish.
Five hundred
perfect way. Next, one,
that, therefore it sounded like a lonely right after he was asking for it, especially ma habitat
this chaps, a particular prisoner brian,
kay, didn't like the cellmate police gave em any told the newcomer to climb out and
The stranger couldn't or wooden k beat.
to death with his shoe doorway. Not did that beaten with issue she's.
The shoes are right. There, Yeah
are they bearded? That's how you make someone being someone with a shoe. Less of an impact lead
He bade him to death, and I'm not. I just beat him now my ip laugh. Now, that's very little.
That's fine. They got treated like an immigrant mom will treat you just beat you with a shoe yeah. That is not theft, but
so. Some guy gets put in a cell with another guy and the other guys I climb out and he's like it's a fucking sell. What are you talking about I'm out and then he gets beat I was going to it was. That is that even was this when they were like, we gotta put a roof on the cell.
sticking around
turn around there's a ladder yeah. Yet why are you in here hangin?
and also be the gumption to below.
I want a better roommate, it's like what
I mean I don't know a jail was like and I did twenty, but I certainly don't know if it was like big brother. It was like you are.
I want to be like now
He wanted a room who wouldn't do much of a puppy gate. Yeah
I said we get out areas like. I can't is you're not right for me. I won't.
voting time, whether she dives a great thing to say what is
who time god, oh my god. Oh my god, you down.
Don't heal from those injuries. My dad's here
it's a really great headline,
pairs.
everyone around. The police station was marching on pears and
yeah,
yeah
You brought maggot page to die of color like why it's in a fucking paper,
It must have been sunday.
The cubs just sit around like you know we should. We should call the paper about all the pe pair. They love this sort of stuff.
You got pair those we're all over it. We just did a story about chairs at paris, and I will do this. What about the police?
error or other police station was this morning was marching on pairs. A gift from a sea pass, more manager of woodland trustees. Farm on conquered pike. Simpler time is now
Those pears and be covered, and like rice and.
I just want them once more wholesome back then yeah I'd be just a bunch of tops, but pair munching, and there, like. We need to cover this too
What else you talkin about the price of an ear and finger crimes, but,
No fuck. I got frank. I don't know what's going, though, we've got the police say what were they didn't pay the guy? Is there a murder or other adverse enormous crime? Let me guess: some of the cops have turned, maybe one of the undercover and they finally blow the roof off a case. And yes, they have rules that we can't just leave
crazy, crazy, every single, every single cause, every one.
Yes! Yes is your pay pair? Yes and yes, well!
furthermore, the wars with their brows very like a prayer with arouses? Yes, yes,
it was. It was a gift. Ok, prolonged applause gave them a gift.
We can see some sudden, ok, all right, a farmer of course for the firm right. The twisted this whole thing walk. We threw it now. The cops are eating.
There is from a farmer and then come on.
There's gotta be set out in this. That's the test is alive beam. Obviously it's that page one, it's page to page, feel good about it.
A great have you ever heard anything like noticing now I'll be out as they ve. Never anything like that, but I think there's a reason why how one parent made it to america
Is there no reopen here and around we won't geyser month, Janata there, not just
bad apples. What do you mean
there's something different. I refuse to believe that.
who more go, I mean I could again just keep going.
There's more police station is. This is from sacrament strawberry. They,
Rob even police station thieves here have
thieves here have absolutely no respect for the law and the copper their air tight,
in building a big fence around the police station to keep them from ceiling automobile parts and tools from the basement
an unreliable era,
like I'm gonna, be there also stealing from the police.
Can I buy Spry me a crime and all have no way back
What do you feel from me
I think we might need to think of taking some sort of precaution to not having this area open with things thieves would be enticed by. We can build a wall around the release date we're going to build one, and it's going to be unbelievable at the criminals are going to pay for it. The criminals are going to pay for it. Ok,
about category
Feel better news story than me:
that way, yeah yeah, it's got. It's got a sad ending, but I liked the fact the cops are like well there
just mere. We must do more cars and a budget we'll that their health go. While we were at side have parents are not paid out here.
Why have we were? Having cares
promise
frank yeah, what's going on,
you notice every
The time we get a basket of pears caused noticed seven like there. But what are we gonna do not eat the pears
you're pretty deliver unbelievable. By the way the practice has been taken, not sure what to do.
Mistress made forty eyes like
made testifying a divorce case shows judge what that means. Us eliminators, like instruments like theirs.
this has two misspellings faces is misspelled, and so, as new york might be, feces might be different that how his face is spelled
Gee, F, ac, come out this story, still good we got above. Should I added it? There's no money is actually bad body
I move move if we're lucky.
We'll get that price pair cup story burg
what's the other one that respects new york.
The art of its power or why? Oh, why are you awake,
big tc.
There was a request performance in the supreme court at white plains. Yesterday, the request
came from justice, moorish hauser presiding,
at a sweet brought by henry tilly, the wealthy contractor of mount vernon
miss Mary downs former made to miss tilly gay,
their performance and
Imitation of the way her mistress flirted with the co respondent clarence
dugan secretary to a vice president of the nearest central in
since of her husband, who was going blind
they need the evenly,
pick, a translator for the husband is like what were the eyes like, so I can't see,
or you know many david- that
I don't like that one bit so
the maid is giving up
the performance of showing how her boss, the mistress.
She's gonna, look
flirted with.
Clarence, who is secretary to the vp of the near its central bank? Yes, so she was pew. There were like an answer.
Did it with her husband there so she's doing like a hot
for with with her
with her. The maiden has wording right right now, with with the dearest husband she's doing it right in front of her she's very resembles in front with her husband arrest allies when they see any of this.
The analysis of the legal and the honey per year was it illegal work,
but he's going blind so
for the benefit of no one, yet so
when no one she flirted with the other guy did manic husband can't see. He was I
are you in pain, darling? I keep hearing you moaning, like you did. Last thursday, it smell
It's like you're making your fuck face.
These walks into his bedroom. It smells like that.
Again, you swear, nobody's been fucking anywhere, yes, no way tat all right. I trust you lead me to the bath
when the court first told her
to illustrate how miss tilney acted. The maid bowed her head and said she didn't want to do it well. This is really crazy
Hey this get a little way and now what
Did you see her do asked the husbands lawyer.
I only saw her make funny eyes at dugan said the maid.
now showed. The jury just show just how she made those eyes the court directed. So the judges now telling her too sharply how she did.
Dewey. I, whenever she did very precedent, devise, give our backing to the main yeah
yeah. The maid then bent her head with a flirtatious air puckered, her lips
and made her eyes at the jury. The jury was all attention today was knocking my fucking.
One word paying their:
she's a witness to what was a whip and she's, not the late in the day right. Is it a divorce or is it I thought
It's a divorce car? Ok, so so this is
a key testimony adds doors debate. I would
of the ideas learning being illegal.
Thirty one europe wide movement here, the flirt judge,
After reviewing the evidence, I decided that they were
looking to bang child
Unfortunately, I buy do both like you wanted to being awarded
I think, the husband whose touching
while for some reason, sir area, the car exists way
I'm in a bang. The gavel like these to abandon the bedroom
next. The justice ordered the witness to give him the same demonstration she had given the jury, so she flashed rise at the judge and the
said, I think that is making faces. Is this? So
creepy now. Will you do anything in my chamber? Slower kid. Can you
sub soared over accents. Maybe sweden
yeah
miss tilney, oh miss tilney. Was there miss tilney stared at the witness so hard during her testimony that the maid collapsed in the court was adjourned? Ten minutes before she went on with her testimony let coming
Kelly gave more I've.
On trial for the birthday? I wait here about, like you, the wit
chile has like odd trial for powerful. I didn't she just heavy needs.
Drain the blood from the maid, with what look you're out or my eyes are that powerful? We need to take a razor wow. What.
holy
I might imagine just
you bring in court and you have to like without wilmas flirting what the fuck is happening. That certainly was a face.
Just shut up judges, pray, arts, both the jury. Why is the judge saying that music
that's supposed to be saying that that certainly was a face were right. Jerry year without the same team. I'm allowed to talk to you about what I'm feeling we wanted to hear,
well have you seen to see that girls either cadillac reminded me that face a fan
She's passed out, oh boy,
it made the jury. I gotta go, get hoagie and then we'll be back where a gang.
this is a little story. London. The act didn't apply to him. Man axis
essex, assizes tried for firing gun in public street.
in twenty five, that's not normal willing loudly
Yeah, england, that's america, who is america, heard this dive, making a paper now
I don't even like my bebe okay to dead. What are we going to? What are we going to talk about with the police eating anything.
Use job
Was charged under the act passed in thirteen twenty eight those laws to hold up the gene
said this law was meant to apply to people all just up and for armor and swinging a naked sword. Therefore, the
jury should acquit. Ok, so the
the trees on trial for breaking the law and the thirteen hundreds as far as having like he shot a gun, basically in public when they probably didn't, have their private and have a law like a new law on the books like you can't
do something with your weapon in the strike, so they
Found one from the thirteen hundreds and they like that sort attraction with the judge say: that's not a sword and they're like well yeah, but it's a gun. It's like they didn't have guns. Then they're like wait: what okay,
all right. What a stupid trial! Let's take lunch.
I'm ok is another english story
and third area, that, like me, with an improper like this
swinging around with a big like me, I can't yeah yeah it is. It is like it's great,
beat the law to the crime.
and they're, like god, damn it we hadn't thought of that cause like after today, you couldn't do it, but for that day the guys like I was allowed to just go downtown and just
aragon and ever was not a sword
you can go,
today the reason for our policy, yes to be,
the bloody them what the love named after they like the miranda laws you like that's cause. I can't allow me as a welcome that you go away when I got out and public Gary more that's right.
they have entered the miranda rights I'll take another round the boys house.
Big it when they gotta tell use stuff now, because a make just
tat. She had the car, you did know I'll talk to a chair
you're welcome.
Another one, I've, england, police, baffled by a ghost
ghost is frightening children here,
it is raining. White, sherry, pottered rhyme
The great white shape, has been seen. Many along the countryside in police have been unable to capture the thicket to try it out. We ve tried everything, but he gets out of I got every time we ve got up like a sort of being able to wriggle out now within the air.
Ass prayers were granted. It was an apparition,
Sorry, my dad you're a good hour passer, medieval dad's here.
Wow man goes cops,
one man said he came to grips with the spirit and that it wore a railway conductors, and that is just a guy. Aren't gonna try and it's a guy got a working hours is all you goes high, you're under arrest. You all you
I work on a train, yet I woke up tried you're a ghost can stop frightening the awards. You devil on the polar express, find out how they guarantee that they are not a storage. We've all read powder express by
I'm just like a regular conductor. That's what you always say. Then you need to try and you're a bloody ghost.
I think it's a bobo tried. We know ideas may get
Because you don't have to tell him anything law has not been
again. Open yourself, Matthews went on a hot goes proves very willingly will,
A boy in england has been run over by the cars the car demand and
the bright blood squirted from a severed artery bright
a crowd of land sire.
Sweden lad
a crowd, stood, helpless, watching him die and then another boy pushed is.
boy pushed his way. I think it's fair. Basically at the girl.
This is the ghost boy
The boy pushes way to the suffers side took his handkerchief out and stop the bleeding by tying a heart. Not just
of the wound.
applause and praising receive. What is intensity in do
To change his mind from being a cabinet maker, too
a study of surgery, eight years later, ashley dapper
became the foremost surgeon of great britain,
Bullshit waiter, a a
that still easier? That's not so
that sounds like a sixteen year old, how their way here,
Basically I mean ok
I know how to stop the blood
charge of all, but if you're an adult- and you see a kids,
I'd start skirting out of his arm and you're just
I wish there was something someone could do, but we can't
and then a child
comes out tourniquets, it
and you're, like oh good, show, and you just start clapping of.
Where's this kid's going to be a doctor. He like wow this is they really need me because everyone here is an idiot everyone's like oh, what you're gonna do august. We should just make him eat his arm. What what's the next protocol, the jazz that I think that's it for him? Well he's dead for sure the arm's gone. Let's just watch the blood run shower,
everywhere. Look at
Ok, good governance. Is it that a beautiful cannot stop at you don't even say things like that. Would only people at your side,
Like how to actually push them lakes,
interior for, like that's why I became a comedian right yeah right.
Why did you become a surgeon? I just love the applause. When I became a doctor, I thought there would be bigger crowds,
Nobody really shows up, except for the family, and they don't really clap as much.
they didn't they later life. He went worked on. Grey's anatomy does expecting the same accolade.
You're, going to love your neck surgeon. Your next surgeon, you're gonna, know him from turn kidding in the road. He also does a lot of appendixes this guy's unbelievable. Given that product, productive, frank kaur,
today, the eggs everybody. I m excited to be involved, as I you know, you're, not a great
elevator fall, wasn't fatal. How is that possible? In these times a guy you gotta know, link
I want you I've time
its aren't, always ripped off and he died and everyone in an elevated drops like whoop.
was close lobby?
or burnt it yeah right
like that would work very pretty bottling. We didn't. I would make a pretty good too
universal city
Frank Howard as perfected and entirely safe method of falling down elevator shaft, he tried.
The other day from the third floor of an office building here, and he landed on a pile of shavings and had minor cut sewed up at the city out he's just jump in today,
Oh, I felt there making a wise. I know you're taking nineteen twenty speak these just why
bracket, Gareth agent,
punch line. So so he really,
read it again. Sorry, now that I know that we're here, a little fun
earlier. I regard for frank, frank, how're as perfected an entirely safe method of falling down, elevator shaft he trotted
I thought the other day from the third floor of an office building here and he landed on a pile of shavings and had minor cuts sewed up at the city hospital yeah. So like
this guy. Like wrote one article and then there are like you're tone and take on how the news works
it is. A story is really coming across. Probably that's why you see perfected it like it was an accident yeah, but I take it may be tat. You know,
He did it like a little more purposeful, yet it's not
Really what our newspaper is so, ok, damn
What, if they dont jackass back, then does the head of his time different. If that,
case, then I'm way more on board for what they got. These guys, like you, guys crazy he's, like those savings on my initiative,
And in my bed, bigoted,
I'll drop the elevator eyeballs, ok,
ok woman plunges downstairs. I she should have fallen in the elevator
right,
pretty much aren't able to go to other levels. This doesn't seem like they are yeah, it's just one of those like. Why did you hear what happened to that guy in the elevator? I don't do those anymore. Excuse me kathy. I'm going to just jump already here.
Miss fanny being aged thirty, nine years, twelve on bay street. That day, I have yet to fell down stairs at her home at twelve o'clock last night. Cutting her lip, miss fanny been cut her lip, I can color, she fell down the stairs and cut her lip theirs, and this is a news story. I guess
what are your neighbours along rebuild its?
The thing is, I believe, a sheep brown chief club. We now what
the woman
fell. Who were going to give this report, or do you think they'll she's, a blister? Let's go jubilee missed
Any big came up with no way to dive at our house. No elevator guy get out here. We don't like your angle, the rear,
the police ambulance, responded to a call, but the woman refused to go to the hospital,
she was yes, you are. This is the emperor has now is america rights? If you dont want the ambulance bill?
I call it over.
sounding more and more suspicious
It's been nailed down the stairs cut her lip I've fallen a few times down the stairs, never cut my damn lip. I didn't want to go with the emergency room, who's, mister
for any ban, and what is there to die like that? He took her name too
because I take her name for
maybe it's got a terrible reg do it. How can we talk
Mister Vrain been no yeah when it like that.
ways of despair, boeing,
the wing little little
I believe, Franny
they could have fallen, but you didn't go over the emergency room so who went out
or do.
The next door, spelled chicago wrong, so
there's. No one checking this paper when they forgot to print
the love this headline, gareth
this horse is pastry fiend. What the fuck are you talking about? That is not how nature work.
This ignores is here that it is. I bet you'd find a lot more. Horses are pastry. Fiends
Give your a partners worldwide loves danish is down there's theirs.
First pastry. Now, there's not
like national. That you'd already read extra donuts,
pick some cruiser.
chicago one day last summer, the woman who lives next door to a J pickens agent for though walk again
after a pan of doughnuts on
a kitchen window, sill to cool prints,
pickens horror, simple, the donors and was lost
it wasn't always get again. Did your horses head
was in love. They tourists
he said, put a few and he after talking to the host the horse for a quote, he said he was lost
I never was laws that has served.
since then, pickens hasn't had a good night's rest though we buy
the choicest hay and oates on the market prince can't be induced to eat anything but pastry. Ok, I don't even
I get it, but I don't believe I believe I dont believe
The horse went on a hunger strike because I'm sorry, I am no. No. No.
the donor horse now. So let's do bring some of those throw those the old feedback. If you and mine please I likes
I think goals, and I also like the cream filled ones, but whatever they got, I just will do a glaze or long john. If you have it whatever kind of get locked up in here
how to get lost again. I'm sorry, I'm just not lost with this hey, so I'm after that last feeling again, but this sounds like what you've got to do like you just get to submit your own news story, and this one was permitted by the person who made the donut card about
who does not even of mobile phone or in the sense of being like someone's, like lodging off point for like horse doughnuts get lost.
out
I don't know they just
cut your horse one around in the woods man that was a lotta doughnuts. Where am I blocking out his back legs? Only airport talking and every day I'd be a law enforcement.
We should start making doughnuts what was that patches? What
is had a by crazy.
Matters reached a climax today when prince was hitched back up,
bakery wagon and discovered a bountiful supply of bread and cakes inside
now he insists on chasing every bakery wagon. He sees until beggars are frantic traffic, copper.
Our sore and pins is thin from worry. Is the level I camp
took me a minute to realise were still in the same bears the horse is chasing spits like he's chasing pay. This is just like bad parenting.
My kid had pizza wants, and now all that aids is pizza like no at some point be admitted and vegetable is going to go to pizza parties, but that it also going to have to live a life at home. But this guy's like I just let them
I'll do whatever it was said. It just marked pastries cause. I've allowed visitors
Yeah you, you sound pretty cocky for a guy. That's never had a patriot, you know what I mean: it's not you're, not wrong. You're, not wrong.
I have never had a page to prefer and the p
with the bakery drugs like weight on
What do you do? Just fucking someone hold the horse back
We can't do that. Horses follow human law.
They couldn't locked me back then it was to have been born proof. Ah. Well,
can't make a delivery. There's a horse down the street
You know how business goes right. You know at commerce is like dammit. Well, I guess we'll just have to wait a little while to this horse gets pastry fix.
You mean this horse, that's where I am from this where's that so starving its dying. You can see its ribs because in a lonely pastries, that's right
it just won't eddie, I'm a bad horse. Dad
well, but he shoots custard. So it's gotta of boy we lucky.
I'm broken buddy finished route.
Falling on the ice caked streets and breaking his wrist J wilson student at the university Kentucky, whose workings
through college, by carrying papers continue.
to carry his route until everyone? I was hundred papers have been delivered.
Then he visited doctors office and also made arrangements for a substitute the following day before taking his bed.
It's a story about a guy broke his arm. This is a story about a guy broke, his arm
and now he's gonna be delivering papers that are about his pay
first, quite a metal journey
like one of those stories were like this is not a flag.
your arm and continue throwing newspapers, yeah yeah
it's the classic american story of look how hard we work. You worked so hard. You look like in a manner ass to have three jobs. Look at that american will know what what god this chamber servitude.
trained, his replacement.
We have that you now you want to do this with a broken arm
your arm break still, do it do
finish it out american spirit, be an idiot
but the number.
Ok, I can't believe this didn't happen, this next door. I didn't white house, I really understand
Why now, in every capital, a proposal to build in air,
foreign capital, where the united states is represented. An accurate
replica of the white house to be used as a residence for american embassies. We will be presented to congress this winter, where funds are now. Can you believe we delete? Are we are just the king in the world
It should create just with it already out of our god. Damn I propose that you imagine if they wanted to put a ten downing street in amerika. What would happen worker? That's
prime minister lives in the uk.
Low,
The area is foolish fabricate whose seeking the world I mean. I can't
it's just it. We are amazing, amazing to think that
do you mind if we put up a white house visit, everyone of your countries where the president can live if he wants to do I mean by the
we have essentially put ourselves in every country. Now we just start, as you heard about it, but the mayor,
not like we rule over here. If I were a big brother,
yeah we're just here to watch the map of the union.
the states should just be a huge pair of balls.
I mean we got em
from propose that these miniature white houses be built by american later exported exported for the purpose? Sure we don't know we won't. Even higher foreign labour in your code outweigh the time why? How by yeah, we would like to wait. If it's called you can we use our own prison labour in your countries do play that possible, walked them.
Well, where there don't let em climb out, we ain't,
It got roofs yet
down allowed take this boot just pre war.
bout, it I mean, sir.
Guy came up with the idea is that we get a bill, the white house in every country and then some like, we can't you can't have foreigners build an area
because it's a white house so like ok,
Evidently, in my country they won't be foreigners built
well now again into a hall thing. I think we just let's just take the american workers over there. We don't
If foreigners, then why are you putting a white house in their country? We want to watch them without trust, we're going to build it. The way ours was built by slaves by the french, the nation god damn.
Of plays.
Snow widow, bride at ninety minutes.
that a british columbia?
John Mackenzie, the snow widow,
an idol of the creek, indians and ok,
again tat: I am a joke it before right. At the same time, people again to become a bride at the age of ninety wow,
about her recovery garage private though growled the snow widow
I missed this the other day, and this is nineteen twenties ninety. So this is one hundred and five ok room
rumour has it that
every evening at dusk. An indian makes his way to the wigwam of the snow widow. He will become her. Fourth husband,
by the way, let's go abc. Let's get this show now we
Oh did the wigwam, where the fort suitor of the week is going to the snow widow.
she has three roses and ford
eligible bachelors
The weird tragic tale of the snow widow is still whispered at night in the glow of campfires. To tell anybody about sp
She used to be married and she's be married to snow. Why are we whispering? Oh, no? Okay,
the living care ryan pale. He thought
yeah? It is not even I want the public by a few days ago that woman over their yeah living war, there.
around the adventures of the aged indian women, members of her own tribe are ever weaving new tales, but
records of the hudson bay company,
may be found the true story, the creasy, the snow widow, represents the great soul of the far north.
This because he lost three husbands, all travers
two were frozen to death. The third died of starvation. Heated is more rights. There, there's shitty
rapporteur honestly, I think been hisself trapped it
while the latter lay dying that miss begins his track. It changed track. Tragic adventure took place.
They were kept two hundred miles north of standing mission in the data.
winter came
It became so scarce that, with the
to babies. They face starvation, then the husband fell ill. Only food would save. Now now, with
two babies, what she's not going to eat the bearer yeah I mean you got to you, know what I mean it'd be like. We don't need to, I mean one's planet.
oh baby. Yeah on sand,
This one is like a pair of may I tell you what, if I was me baby you'd know a twenty.
I like this others, let's have some gareth line with
The two babies wonders in miss because you started the hundred mile trip with her with a famished dog team. After thirty miles, the dogs died. Talk
the baby's into the sled, she fastened the harness around her own waste and continued ten miles, but then one baby fell ill and died. She ran
a black pointing out that their baby could have been eaten in the long run, but ok you're gone. She wrapped a blanket around the tiny body place to deepen the snow, and
the twigs of a pine tree fashioned, a pitiful little cross, which was
I just over the spot. Then she continued on the journey.
on her arrival. Food was hurried to her husband, but it was, but he was dead
but she became the snow widow, let
if after three or have been dying, the theory of circumstances youth day with no widow forever. He like asked me why we all her that's what I mean like a magic being
like. Oh wow look she's going to walk that. Is she she's, not attaching the sled to our ways? Does she is she seriously putting the sled around router? She is sledding and then just
Spinning you're one baby, all the way back to earth bearing at
still nursing nursing man.
and that it will serve to be living legend at all.
Like now wait I'll get married again, we talk is it
Yeah yeah. I do
that new husband jeez, I shoot you wanna go get. Some food is like
the average. Even I do. I just do pizza again in june this year,
Last story again
shots no one wounded out what a sound like bearing ball, came convict law
as this was the story from paris.
Louis dhahran do and
a coil decided upon a dual after a corner. Wow this
it stood at a hundred yards with serve service rifles and fired twenty rounds.
What ammunition was almost exhausted? No one was wounded.
dont row, russia.
His enemy with the butt of his peace,
well shot him dead with his last bullet wow wells in jail wow,
so the two words shots ever
Is it uncommon, it'd be like in a dual and guys I'd? Look. We didn't you were:
was that I am. I don't know what to tell you. You are easy read. I guess charge chimney piece with the gun. Handle gotta have a weapon at thirty.
It is true that got Adam. Eventually, though it is car keys and his id go. Mad sons gonna hit em
and then the one act that way
again. I bet your he shot him dad on act that
is this reload happening around knows anything in their product there. I can feel it
it was the mandatory oh yeah yeah I met did his neck yeah fuck. That guy just wait to the end for sweeps so wait. He he
was charging him to beat him with the gun and the other guy just shot him right away in the neck. I go to jail. Keziah like you are, that was too close.
I think you're, not adding dueling sprawly illegal, ok, cause. It is
nineteen, twenty catalonia fair. I guess it was about time we made a rule
the dual room and the gun law that finally,
The last repressed, logical covered, say: god, look. What more do you put to you
like we banned as all rivals for ten years and no doors. Well,
What what was this paper? Collagen Dave obsolete just close to report it whatever it is,
shut up to them and they should be need this standard for papers from now
the craigslist. His eyes
This is the evening journal from Wilmington, delaware
what a wild ride well, thank you for taking it with us maggie and thank you for reading.
as children,
That was feeling like you. Just like drugs, you're headed to the nineteen twenties looked around and you get to come back home yeah what a time, but I think, you'd, like I said, follow maggie may and may way haha making me haha
nah. Thank you maggie. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That was awesome. Ah ha ha ha we're having fun are we I don't know. I listed this as gareth from the dollop. Alright, I got substantive data.
Love for you to join me at if you are in raleigh north carolina december, twenty first through the twenty third I'll, be a good nights, comedy club december twenty ninth of december thirtieth I'll be in rutherford new jersey at bananas february, twenty six I'll be in las vegas at wise, guys, salt lake city february, twenty seventh denver february, twenty eighth wichita February twenty ninth march first springfield missouri two shows that night, then I'll be in west des moines, iowa march. Second, two shows that night then I'll be march: third, kansas city, Missouri, tulsa, Oklahoma march, fifth, oklahoma, city march, sixth, dallas march, seventh, Houston march. Eighth. He used that again march eighth, austin march, ninth I'll, be in san antonio march, tenth I'll, be in lafayette, louisiana march, twelfth I'll be in new orleans march thirteenth and then
rule six I'll, be in chicago illinois and april seventh I'll be in cleveland. Ohio go to gear, throttles that com for venues, tickets. All information join me gar me. I don't know for allowed to say it anymore. I don't know who knows the point as join me. Gear throws our common love you all.
Transcript generated on 2023-12-20.