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The Babylon Bee Celebrates Fatherhood and Indiana Jones

2023-06-16 | 🔗

It’s Father’s Day and the Babylon Bee guys, Kyle, Adam, Jarret, and Travis, talk about dad stuff! Stories, memories, gift ideas, and more! It’s the perfect time to talk about the favorite movie trilogy of dads everywhere: Indiana Jones.

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Its fathers day, so this episode is for dad's trump got indicted on thirty seven fragile charges. A new record join under bite. Biden are allegedly being blackmailed by ukrainian company and now giving ukraine tons of money. What a coincidence, although so more bay. The Babylonians bothers days, measure love it more obey like the place or easy theatres The others, like always see out, is all this John Steinbeck name I really want to know how your mind words drew her all this in the grapes wrath all this, the mormons or I think we're
done mormons before how have we did mormons air? Yet we did mormon. We should do that when, whenever we have a mormon on call yo space sunglasses tell us about the space that certain goods, if they are the basis of their kind of their kind of her hippy hip hippy hipster, not really hipster they're, just like you, just chinese were hip as an additive. Yet just eight people haven't done in years. Look they hit people say things are happening. There are the same ones that the even here, if you say like you, do you even do you even surf brow it in a very broad dude borough? Let it drop. Do you even ex idjit brow their blunders, San, diego sunglass company, when my friends made it in use could be for ten percent off. Oh that's where this is all leading yeah, it's good! That code will not work as far as we know
so now, I thought there was a real endorsement. None of that- and I would have given me, but you can get twenty percent. I don't think they rode associated with learning they make like pride, some classes, you Are you wearing woke sunglasses in Sweden? but were that's? Why we're making an alternative based glasses, Jeremy's, shameless jeremy, seth. His name is kyle kyle. It was like we should make our stuff, but it's it's like seth's jeremy said yeah like ruth's chris steak house are just about our out in ottawa company, but it still jerry's. We did you run it as a headline, but I liked your pitch about jerk, boring creating like armies, took four. Ninety nine woke line of yet another friendly swimsuits aramis took friendly certainties based traffic to energy saving product, but it's been a friendly diapers. I dont
I don't really, by into the like, you have to buy the conservative version of everything unless it's the Babylon bee by by our stuff, but I'm not really a big fan of that I mean always like out, although I caught a company, if their actively doing something wrong, I don't know what to say, degree with it. I dont boycott of company of it's just that that company gives money tat causes that I disagree so boycott of company, if they don't have anything good that I like yeah, if I just sits very I'm not the exhorted more union united, his egg. I didn't drink that light much in the first place. I was more of a walmart person than a target person. So, if it's already usually, I was an absolute cut out the few times that I, when I met you, I thought this guy's more of a walmart person. That's I examined walmart except my weight. the others and the largest some amartya level. Arrow has rolling that you have your clothing summons top.
There are the right moment. Are there on the white house, one true. If there's a toothless different, now topless, we usually do you don't call it too Let's do you just well, you do in vain If it man, there may be granted sit up where you didn't silence and then went out alone or if they don't have time I wasn't. I haven't senator willard topless trans person on the trip on the white house long this week, a toddler student at the pride of an ok. So this was ok this is a reference. Is a man as I think it was a man with fake, but there was a man that had the effect of fake stop any you looked like a woman like you was all tranced, He resolved and there was a picture with in earlier. In the day I think yeah, he he was like with Biden and then he ran around topless on the white house. Man, if I were, if I were a trans dude I'd get three. I would get three like. I'm rely tat, my son, I'm not only reach for because he can
have to celebrate it, and then they re willing to add that as another gender we have been able to four hundred drift. eight or whatever the tri boob yeah. The fires are not by Mary dries. Oh that's right! Diagnostic ride off! Well, let's shifted to amend that. Don't have boobs it's father's day, Yet in some summit, Some of these comments about my sentence. Guess it was. It was hurt thank. You mentioned the last, but I like, I think you ve been talking about goods, seems to be doing heavy and deeply wounded, and it's gone I've I've stopped eating. Since then it wasn't your fault, it was framed. Weird would like the cloak and stuff I I agree, but don't so it did kind of look like boots. I just do think I think state and next time it's going to be. Like I heard you, I heard you
I still exist. I fix the breath, I'm doing p. Ninety ex doubly horns down here. Fire makes them because there are no common. Aren't you just wearing a sports braun exe but we're gonna? Look at some stories from subscribers about their dad's will talk about fatherhood. It's a father's day is special seo, though it likes, driving click a little butter notifications and keep up with our partners on you too, you can of em on be podcast, page instagram in facebook and, of course, become a subscriber Babylon, accomplish plans use, could podcast between percent Ivan. Then you get in firebomb guest and the most intimate moments always come in the subscriber exclusive lounge. Very, very intimate area, some moment kyle. Who are you reveal who I am in these issues I arrived around I gotta, what's in the news, dad's like news,
hot, on the heels of the second largest bank failure in us history and the eighth first rate height within a twelve month period. A hundred and eighty six more banks are at risk of collapsing you're it could be next, unless the fed does what they just did back in march, prince three hundred billion dollars out a dynamic near dollar, worthless not to mention the recession, risk that could have a significant impact on your investment in retirement accounts. Take our advice and protect your financial future with something real link. Gold and silver from friends at allegiance gold allegiance called, can help you protect your irish or for one k with physical, gold and silver, and if you prefer, having delivered securely right to your front door, since the beginning of time, there's only one universal currency, always value and that's gold, allegiance goal is the highest ratings in the industry. Five stars the trust like a triple a rating with the business consumer alliance and in April. rating with better business bureau you can invest with confidence because of the quality and service of allegiance gold.
Get up to five thousand dollars in free silver on a qualifying purchase. When you visit protect with b dot com today, that's protect with b e dot com or give them a call at a four four: seven: nine, zero, nine one, nine one! What's in the news this week, so the first the news is that trump was indicted on thirty seven federal charges related to document handling an obstruction of justice, and he was there, a reigned and pled, not do you to miami courthouse this week so that there is a wonderful picture that came out of the bag, what are the bankers and moral hocus box s village? if I document I'll authentic around with toilet with gold? The chandelier above it going sooner. This is just proof that I I mean I knew Mara. Logo is probably gonna be gaudy, but, seeing like the frame of that, of that mere looks how your lackey dislike and in them
people on the ground, like all that stuff you can tell. This is a gouty. This is the guy. Is this. It looks how you you would think a moral log, a bathroom would look, except maybe the toilet. Just looks like I want to win and look at those boxes. Fancy yeah! That's how I think boxes with banker. Boxes have I mean, there's boxes, are pretty cool houses like that and as user Ben too I'm sharia net the thing it's weird to me, though, is that in this picture, is obviously a ton of documents a tonne. when they did this f b, I raid in the past. They didn't really mention that they're just boxes everywhere. They just mentioned oh yeah. He had some things and then nothing came of it. Why now all of a sudden, are we seeing these pictures because they never went into the bathroom they finally got to that? now, I'm in here you can't go in there and I was so unless a match on there was there the tiger log back just a minute. This is not just an. I said. lot
firstly, by any documents, is towards violation of etiquette knock on a public that they think we could to airline dollop job takes three hour down the king. right and still is the river come back some other time yeah. This is a food baby. Again, no knock warrants are okay, that you just but since it Nine counter attack, man, so a lot of people are saying the allegations turned out to be more serious than they thought, including money from pale. My pants Nicky haley bill bar while the people he you think, would say that again. And here I think they pride did- think it was that serious yeah. This is shocking, now rages, look at all those boxes, but you gotta think did like if you
eighteen hundred boxes stuff. Maybe there are some things in their that should have been there that are not see any other way. I m a secret, I think fully bad. I don't like that trump handled the documents this way and I think it's especially bad or one of the worst allegations that he showed it like a secret military plan to attack a ram to some later that he was talking to me this guy? That is it's extremely careless. It is reckless. I think you could say that it's bad, but then, when you're charging of these crimes, it does seem like in uneven application of justice. May I too what Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton have done there, not all identical, but they each have their own. You note what we got details of the wave age mishandled this stuff. That makes it unique, and it's just crazy There are coming down on trumped like this and ignoring the others in this. This seems almost a a fault of the transition process. between presidents really cause you. Why does even have all this stuff? the cowardly lion businessmen have every may. I just don't get that
I mean, there's all there's probably allowed to take things that are, you know their own person. Business or whatever the from their time, and we are one of the boxes says male bedroom had I didn't act, Well that I think, are alone. I think that's one of tremors, you note d, his claims and part of a different strategy that, under the presidential records act, you are pretty much allowed to take what you want. Another thing that doesn't apply to, classified documents, and it is created that the sum of some of the charges under the espionage act, which I think this is all very careless and reckless, but There was no aggravating tomorrow's, but on insolvency is trying to expose secrets tat in a fairy us out now when they came in to look for these did. Did he hold them back when he was ordered? He that's not what I was when they re did they raided? They got those. Originally. They were in communication time document and is they said you have done, and I so we're going back and forth and he was told, will have to hold on to this stuff and then
some of the recordings that have come out now. Are him talking with his lawyers about what we handle listen, he asked one of them. He says Hillary Clinton. Later if a good job she because they go rid of the documents and and then it was during all these deliberations that the was it the fbi that raided then. Yet the fbi when this raid happened they went in and seized them rather than going through. The programme has cut it make up. One of the counter arguments that are making is that they were talking to the national archives Yang were killed operating and they said well, what do you want us to do and they're like well just make sure the doors to those areas. So I put him in the bathroom. There is a lock on the locking, rather that's defined in here, but I will see what happens here. He did he sent out a fund raising a male saying that he faces four hundred years fritz. Well, that it is it that is the total of all these charges that he's phase for the next four countries.
that's ones The second has been brought to you by the scientists for president twenty twenty four vote: trump corvette because of a vex get a part of them. Did you see that speech for MIKE pence cited as the evac went out right after all these charges and give a big speech where he vowed to pardon trump if he's convicted and challenge every other person running for president to make the same problem interesting, I'm sure tremble, pardon themselves tat would be legendary. Shrub paleozoic element of still gets. What did president said? Bernardo observance of minors It's a legendary thing that I don't think there'll, be god mode yeah for sure. I don't think we know too much about the arraignment yet cause. I think that was already scheduled and they were in miami the other day, but I I would just love. To imagine. The trump shows up with like an envelope postmarked from before
He ended his presidency saying I hereby part the earth has already done it. He anticipated you know it s, doubts more politics. Are god love politics, very daddy, my dad hates it s so so gradually says a bereavement exec who allegedly bribe joe and hunger Biden, kept seventeen recordings of their conversations as an insurance policy, an insurance policy against what kyle earthquakes, there's an earthquake releasing these tapes right now answer as an insurance policy does museum movies. Let's agrees that this is a reassurance,
so you have dared onset, allows that airport in reminder arrangement is the company in ukraine that hunter was on the board for an allegedly both Joe, an hunter Biden were given five million dollars each to serve the interests of berries ma. This would have happened during Jos tenure, as vice president, senator grassy, claimed the fbi document on these facts are still being heavily rejected and censored and call them intelligence agencies to show their work on how they did or did not investigate this matter, and yes, it so grassland, this from the whistle blower, because the actual details of these recordings were adapted from the documents they were shows. How do these recordings existence? the thirty a lady allegedly that's all It is alleged. You know it's one things where it is a big scandal if it's true, but we still don't know whether any of this is true or not. But what about the whole thing is that the when they
given the redacted version of this f b, I document it's unclear why they would reject this part because they say they want or adapted to hide. Do no country, and shall sources, and that's it. I reject the five million dollars each. Unlike the payment I don't know if they would act part partners than wanting to, but it seems They are showing you know these reduction from the document that has things that don't really need to be rejected in it. there seems to be a lot of governments. Documents are rejected in early wisest. Why is ITALY? they're just they're, just keeping stuff secret that they don't want you to know about right. Also, they redact- I, I probably like randomly so that you don't know what what parts are important parts aren't. Imagine there's probably a strategy like well just redact the the fact that this happened at a start but on the other interesting thing is in these recordings at one of the phrases that's allegedly used is the phrase
for the big guy again just the same phrase that was used in the design and inhibits yes and then there's the theory that it refers. Joe Biden, if not Joe Biden, who else could possibly be, I also very much has to be him. That's how that's our hunter refers to his father and yeah, exactly I have. You have ever seen that onion video, where there's like the general addressing congress and he's really any has to reject parts, but they keep rejecting the wrong parts in the document. Pretty much like in the event of a lake I've met Munster have redacted in like like they are trying to redact that part, but the accident liberty act, the other parts is pretty wonderful. I think you guys should see it. It does sound, wonderful, roll, the tape it
It said it was awesome that was liked. Another story about that. I think I've told this before, but I had a pastor of mine that showed me that video and he thought it was real and he's like you have to watch. This is so crazy. Think what else could a piece like aliens from the past or an old lady know not grandma a man cause. Only a man can be a pass him a pasture but was he in old man? No man you in the s busy in the bible. There's the you know: hotels dad's like bible and houses owning houses? Are they love owning a house? That's skin? I don't know what this means, but it is twenty. Twenty three kids you you guys buy a house and he does like don't houses, but its twenty twenty three you can afford a house. You can be locked out of your own house for being suspected of being a racist. I saw the story I dont know to make it in time. I don't know about this. One
amazon delivery driver attended to deliver a package to a man's house and his door issued an automated response. Excuse me: can I help you the driver had buds in at the time, and you can claim the homeowner made a racist remark through the doorbell camera can return on took action in a man's amazon account was deactivated in all his echo devices became long down. used amazon devices to lock and unlike his doors, so he was locked out of his house. amazon controls. They can shut off your because they can lock amazon account apparent they got up and out of all the smart devices that run your house, then yeah they kind of, incidentally, controlled it they it. They didn't mean to lock him out of his house. They locked out him out of his amazon account, which happened to control all. Locks. So maybe this is amiss they didn't, kill the man they just shut off the oxygen tank. He was right,
How can you still says very hated me that they would not then iceland's drew excuse. Excuse me: can I help you to be raised. The cameras all the men of racist comments, but it took amazon sixty it's like as a cow, you bring than every mail them? To tell me, just one day s house unlocks thick, what that's just a weird What did the enroll like? Why are the wisest policy where the like hate this guy said something racist Lock lie: why would they diva UK ordered his account of the emphasis on a new men? What every end to clean up your racism and what did the driver your button think the guy had set its creators. You forgot, he made a racist remark through the door and I help you yeah, that's the automated response from the doorbells, so it must have misinterpreted statically. How was the island thinking that it was a racist comments? Q, I mean- I don't know if we can race
use me black help? You excuse me It doesn't make sense and that's wise races, Can I Why we don't want to get this keziah? What would it be a he thought cities? We gonna help you, as I am judging you by the color of your skin and not the content of your character. That's what he thought. It said I don't have a smart. Almost I would call I was the island: was the amazon driver? We do the last thing that you punch in the code- and I just have an old physical key, unlike then, if I have to look through the people and just yell raises stuff through them pass the I'll tell you deliveries to come and work out a man and then the guy goes hay and I go. I don't have a smartphone there's, not a smart home, there's nothing! You can do about it in you can't stop me out the good. days. Do racism directly
you know a dad's can't stand racist homes and paying taxes only watch their government horse bill, that money away to civil courts bill watchdog group says: feds have wasted three trillion dollars on improper payments in the past twenty years, so it doesn't surprise me three trillion. What are improper payments? I dunno. Payments to bermuda cause. I feel like there's way more than that in stuff. We shouldn't have been spending money on like ukraine must work. We must refer to something specific, so it says, medicare and medicaid both paid out last year, more than a hundred twenty six billion dollars in payments that should not have been paid out. So this is this a scam fraud and then stuff that still on the books, that should be done just that an accounting error and they just it out anyway billion dollars is almost the entire g. He p of india. Isn't,
it rita from unknown. I just knew that offer which gdp of all of all the countries the gdp of madagascar to That'S- that's probably could probably something is lower than in pakistan is just that it would be brilliant, three trillion dollars. That's a lot of money. How much to have we given to ukraine, russia rush, billion as an early trillions allies are willing, wherein the hundred hundred we were in the hundred alien yeah, I'm one billion, which is well on its way to children. I'll tell you what we ve wasted trillions on see I you hurry or first folks, the f b. I you had three trillion dollars? Would you buy I'd, buy a cow
can you buy india? Can you speak liquor? I own a good idea with three trillion. You could pretty much buy anything. Couldn't you buy a california? You could bomb us by California. Well, if it's when is the dollar amount, that you would have to have it never were like that. Never worry but like you could buy, whatever you wanted, you would never be able to spend, depends about. It depends on your living stand. Well, I understand that, but I'm saying like the point at which you could buy soup, your own private jet aaron. What's the lowest point like multiple homes all over the world and everything cause. There's people who win the lottery and they win ten million dollars or whatever and that's how they start living. Then they blow through a plethora of, whereas I I think, if you live at just like reasonable middle class lifestyle like around five million dollars- I feel, like you, would his lungs not living extravagantly, but where is it where you don't have to work any more to I'd say like or how much is I must cut. You can just live off the interests yeah yeah,
ago and five or ten million, probably maybe ten I get on, and I'm saying you you can invest it then, and now you're talking about how do we get super yachts, because I know if we were to say that I think A hundred billion or somethin to undermine million will not think succeed vary so much because do you want the two million dollars superior or the eight million dollars? Now you you wanted the night air we tried out. You know how I started out. As I have said so you ll, like eighty million airlines there and say you, don't wanna used one I only want to dine with him. I guess it was the new tiny super yacht movement, the super. I want the james, our unlike octopus, thing that comes out of the ocean now the billions so I've never seen james bond movie must that sad, hey Joe have ours of entertainment, for you but at the gym and they were playing one and it was a really weird old one. Ongoing, silk hat was like an octopus submarine. There's probably octopus, see now. Can you do that?
now use the name of the name of the movie. I still can't say the name of its tonight, I'm one of his book. It's that men can it's a purse. Nay, namely a story is actually the property of a lady. Did you know for a start, and you say I do know what he's gotta go see a movie called it a property. Laying. I don't want to see that octopus, let's go see that I need you to say actor, who still, but that's not what it's about anyway, it anywhere takes place in jamaica, like so many of the infinite work. Actually because he had a house in jamaica, but it came about. I came upon the ocean and look under the beach and electric ge. So many of the James bond stories take place in the caribbean or jamaica, and there was just like a naked woman like she was just naked, were in dancing like the song, and you know they do the salt in the james bonds. In the theme you mean at the opening sequences of all this, where it's like a woman at the silhouette of a woman, and she literally like a there's like a bullet,
there wasn't it link on. There are definitely nipple in what in this movie this James must. This is one of the old song country once prior right was decker roger The shouts? Antonia was pretty pretty earthy terrorism earthy stuff here, but he said swimming roger, more adjusted his hat. If he was now Roger more sites get yourself together, hey. I have two questions for you. How are you? for your health care that we're gonna? Forget it perfectly great go grab s neck, if not then listen closely, because I have a solution for you legal solution so Two ministries, samaritan ministries, is a community of christians, paying one another's medical bills. Its people, affordable health care sharing, but no network restrictions. Here's how it works. When a medical need arises. You choose the health care provider, that's right for you to have a say in the treatment received. Even if it's a natural approach or an alternative medical treatment,
medical bills are shared with fellow members and your need is covered in prayer, healthcare sharing with samaritan ministries may also be more affordable and what you're paying now and if it's there fit. You can join any time even today, get out at samaritan, ministries, dot, org, slash the Babylon bee. That's art and ministries, dot, org, slash the avalon, be being you, slapping women fitting perfectly like raiders of the lost ark which came out forty two two years ago this week, every dad's favorite movie. Well, so it it actually legitimately was my favorite movie for probably twenty years a man really. Oh, I love this wow. I always did last year said a little better honestly, but last crusade wouldn't be great without rater. Just I don't disagree. I like raiders, I mean temple of doom, is kind of like it was the last episode until the last. The the crystal skull came out
then temple of doom looked like the best movie ever man. I miss movie posters. I know that movie poster up on my wall so cool. I always liked indiana jones, but I never was a die hard fan. The way I got into like star wars or star trek or some of the other yeah I mean they're fun and I liked them, but I'm not. I was the reverse. I was I was an indiana jones person all until I got into my twenties and then I really get into I didn't feel like there was as much to explore there. He was like it's not Yes, I'm all you know, it's not you! It's not like a universe. I mean I'm sure, there's expanded universe, material at comic books and stuff. I bet ya, there was definitely not as much too but talk. If something is there something about side by where your three eight a universe? Words like there's just living loose possibilities, very limited, as the old brain cells, there are a series of fiction novels, bayesian, indiana jones, the ira, there not only the original document strife. As some of them are,
We agree that in order to explore, you have actually become an archaeologist, which was one of my plants. Don't get upset, some of them are, you know they have a decent hook or whatever and like one of them's bowed like noah's ark, dilution of the debate any agenda agreed dailies, but then why that will be like Indiana jones and the dinosaur, eggs, stupid. Then one of them was a year of destiny, so that was the spear that poke Jesus inside and it's supposed to have magical powers, and then there was the indiana jones and the octopus he hears that out. cards have endured lucas pires contractors, Jim's toronto, to flesh out for his idea of a swashbuckling archaeologist that punishes nazis, sexy really good, that's great! That's I wouldn't jericho. I would have that on the wall for sure I know we should have done. That's areas the catholic,
is that guy's face he's got a strong pillar. He looks like a. He looks like a golden double o seven character model like that. Oh definitely like a polygon like one blogger, it's like read Ian fleming thing, but he's about to shoot that cobra like a nine eleven or something I was in for inflaming- and this was before the movie was cast and before it came, video game, graphics and he I feel like I ended up switching over to like a like a one of those six shooters later that that kind of one of the night, one of the ones from the world war one there were like issues, standard issue,
one revolver yeah. Instead of let's call it a world war, one revolt, one of those one of those literally called that they named it that world war one weird. It's almost like: we've a world war, one revolver case I've already got the gun and we might as well. I really think, hopefully we never have to use this. I have one at home and I can't remember the name of it. It starts with the w. I never go ahead. Do you think? Would they cast Harris? When we came in his ear, what asked to see the concept of a sort of my supposed to look like an did john, the first picture, wait like Tom Selleck yeah. I don't like. I don't like that. Have you have you seen the face of the guy that drew that he wasn't good with pace, but we didn't. I plan on having Tom Selleck. Add we're so happy you're here, yeah, that's funny who can forget when the ark of the covenant melted that nazi guy's face off. I wanted to forget.
When I was a child cause. That was the scary part of the movie. If you could have on them, We must fear of god in public us these just right m indiana jones quota will about areas top man asked very dangerous. You go first, a guy What's your favorite movie trilogy of all time. This is why the indiana jones and won through three or china. The dead hot frozen worlds in to those I gotta go with the original star wars trilogy my favorite children. walter. I would go either star wars or lord of the rings would be would be my, I think, you're the reason. Indiana Jones definitely plan my mind together, star wars, second I dont think any jones really mean a contender for the greatest trilogy, Edna I'd. It's it's a good trilogy, but I don't think it's you don't think. So first and third movie are awesome, while its one language version that my vision, it's tough, because he now,
the Indiana jones trilogy is now form of his long. Almost five- and you know I don't. I still honey, I'm ok, counting there is like star. Wars is no longer trilogy, but I still like the arabian ornithology or five and six. There is no true. I regret what Fourth indiana Joe movie reference. How Indiana jones in the desert never heard of Indiana Jones. You know, I think, I think, actually temple of dear. If your watch again is a great movie, the yes temple, yeah, probably my favorite. I love it too like how anyone that was probably my favorite as a kid, because back then you're, not a movie critic, you're, not you're it. It was just cool as a kid. The the the scenes like scared me ended and stuff, and I thought it was. It was just a fun movie to watch. I think I think the thing I think raiders is actually the most well made yes, and I think last crusade probably has the best story. but temple of doom is just some stupid and fun. Yes,
exactly raiders like what reason. Only just saturday morning, pull type, I lay grey ass last as eight early lame movie, I kind of whom I says knock off as duck tail so little bit. Deliver! That's what I mean movie is crystal skull right. He agreed. I don't even think sealed in the light of the dead and hot fuzz are very good I live in the original version as there Is there another son of the dead? Are there other than that one? I think it's a little overrated to me and he's saying that that's a trilogy right, because it is a sad and people can loosely loosely I've never seen the workers in neither hot funds is one of my favorite It's all tat. I really wanted to like it and I felt like it never left the whole thing. I was only I like on the old agnes. I really like Simon pigs ability to cry it's funny because he kicks an old lady. Yes, hilarious citizens funny
also timothy dawns in a movie and he's an incredible obvious cartoon villain I love british user and I really want it. I would like it and I'd just Ass argued. Other shot the eight hour and orders dad's like crickets apply of mormon crickets has descended on the city of echo, nevada. That's the line of the ten times why they mormon curricula and they both these breed they're called or watch the video. Now, the cricket, sir, writing, bicycles and wearing little. I read something: that's a day later, it's it's own world. This is not uncommon. People on the planet, locusts and crickets, they're kind of related. This is kinda. What happens right when they hatch yeah they come out and do this I mean there's always swarms of locusts. Why not? Why not crickets, you know cause they have a conch We are now watching the video, because these cricket, some experts,
growth yeah, that would be really really bother. Her kids, don't bother me, but a ton of a might raise a dancer. my father in law really likes really trinkets. Well, because when you save a cricket, it's good luck and his dad would make such a big deal about that. We wouldn't have the crickets he'd go out of his way to save a curricular gotten a house with oh well, it's good look I would so mad when I'm trying to sleep in algeria- and you don't know where it is yet. Ladybugs are good luck to but you know a desert. Really love works, not ladybugs man bugs its basket. Its manned bugs in the form basketball and other sports. With the ball. I'll, send you throw them and you pass them. The denver nuggets, which is a real, name of a real team tat, one, the first nba final, this nuggets and or they didn't the goal. Nights. Also wouldn t inanely companies found the
that was the first time ever learn new return to vegas saki team. Had they been around what for years over six years, I don't follow the pact, There are new in the sense that I still think of the mighty ducks new because yeah. They were anywhere near sighted, either of the rockies there's. No, that's our new they are already knew call. They are one of the newer team in the light of the latest expansion, certainly insanely, I'm the dodgers is nay nineties. I went to the first came in course city school. How old are you so back before the mountains were four. Doubtless the denver nugget I was at a dinner. nuggets mvp, which stands for most valuable player. Wonder the his knee. is nicola, Yogesh, may we mobilise others. Do you your dick and he's from serbia, and he was super disinterested, seem super, disinterested and unhappy
in basketball and he entering a post game interview? He just look like you I really just wanted to go home and you just finished early long shift at the factory. He did, as she said as much. They asked him. Are you excited for the celebration parade, and he goes when and they said it's on thursday is like women egos. He does not I'm going back to the days they deserves ass. He goes jobs through lobby of currencies like when this will just put it now, naga, not everybody likes their job we're too afraid that when this booth, thursday I love this. Those words man he's really stressed about I wanted to be one of the most
so this is the guy like you. great. I love that answer, the blue, normal. Not have nobody like job like pledged in the card at the factory. You'll know they look their job, maybe maybe lying I don't like my job. He doesn't like his job, he works and it is like you. Ve tried, really hard. get that job like succeeded ahead. We, like you, have really good at it like that. The other team was try really hard to win and they would have been so happy now he's just like. I guess I want a bird and now have to wear this ring- have to state the thursday. I wouldn't know we do not, and I had to go home. I would if I would have asked me if I had known I had to go to parade. That's pretty great.
Worse, is that they actually has a that's, really wants to get back to you, guys, gonna with horses and, of course, you're such a post season in VP he was the first nba player to ever led the entire play off in points rebounds and sits how so he just like first ever intact, together like too to be first, and all those categories for the entire policies in this crazy. I think this point. I think this makes a good point that when you really as an athlete, if you do I don't put a lot of emotion and thought into it. You do way better. It's true like these guys. I was trying to tell this to my kids and they're playing baseball. Just don't don't worry so much I get up there. The fund is go hit the ball and do whatever they do so much better than thinking about it, and this guy is obviously not thinking about it. Yeah. We were watching a baseball game yesterday and my my wife is, you know, we're rooting for the padres and the the guy got to first base and he started talking to the first basement and who is on the other team and they kind of like high fived or
a little and she goes all their friends yeah. So he clocked in clocked in just a bit. Baseball players have pretty decent where's, my ship, I think, they're with base colourless an rules that you're not supposed to show boden sort of agenda service. Over gentlemen. Gentlemen, a gentleman's game a gentleman eiger that europe Gentlemen, like Adam he answer now, it's time for weekly news and without an answer, the german really dad's everywhere say that he is their favorite comedian, many such cases and crickets with you often then gas, which shows you lot accredits, that's terrible! That's the joke! while there was great item that was good. I've never listened so much news and my life. Thank you travis. I can only hear it from you. I the most trusted naming names.
The banger. The this really should be our bomb of the week as sad invitations to unit bombers funeral mailed out, but no one wants to open them. That avery would be sad. My favorite part at this was everywhere is commenting saying this is too soon get my gas their sad for the it's like movements, personal being, are likely to possible. Like his the picture, the idea it's pollio well now, maybe he's having an estate sale at his little cabin? I monsanto was probably work is well worth money actually c mon. Let's go I wouldn't say one nice thing about the universe, though I thought we were going to all go around and say if you could have one serial killer memorabilia. What would you get buffers to accept? What I'd like that? I'd like his house in the woods that would be really cool? They still have it in F b, I headquarters, they actually removed it from the woods,
put it somewhere else, yeah that'll be at headquarters. Like I said I was the hours that thing say one thing about the and I like it. I like his facial here in this picture. That's very kind of you get it. Let's get a dignified, a little amendment, maybe could a that as get that goatee like marks. Guy wasn't it is like a professor and writer, for you is allegedly geniuses. He has a brilliant person he's just and evil brilliant moors and the nice out. Ninety smart good for your hair and his associates to a jacket. I would actually prefer I want to say his hair, like he is says whenever it is you always say that about oh wasn't he the source of one of the best like weakened, update nor mcdonald segments ever wanted to do what because they had the remember the police sketch drawing of the unabomber- and it was like that wasn't that wanna hear hurry hurry, I'm your glasses and then
They showed what he actually looks like nothing less than oh yeah. I adore where he played the sketch artist. I think, and he did this pit were like. Well, I'm not really good with eyes, so I drew glasses and I don't really I'm not good with hair. So I gave him like you can't even looks really good yeah really good. I was going to say that my that's the nice thing I'd say about him is that he created essentially created this sketch I am inspired by him and it just looks like weird Al Yankovic and a hoodie yeah. It does. Oh yeah, that's nice! I'm glad you said that so that arrest Power, you never got ask cindy to please stop bringing that infernal tambourine to church settlement, there's really upset the tambourine one my arm.
you might not nights, but I didn't. I don't have strong feelings about it. I just remembered there is always a lady that would bring tambourine. We haven't even the pews and huge spa, is now telling everybody don't go there website. For me, it was always the handbell choir. Did you guys ever have that at your job? We added one of those wanted. He called them the dingbats and it was you know, they're, it's they come they come out during christmas. I think yeah. They would have him at my church for awhile year round and they still do, but because it's each individual person, anytime someone messes up- you hear it. It is always one one that offer than you. I see them go they they react. as they know they had it wrong that stuff, Good sketch of us has been a lot of one who doesn't know that employment is doesn't do integrated Neat thing about this. Cultural phenomenon is like that. a moment bring in musical instrument and just play it sitting in the pew like they weren't asked about it. Never seen that someone I played at it from the big european. Now I never saw then my life,
the girls and that's why it bomb, because I was, though I was writing. It is about a certain denomination where people bring the timber legally charismatic tend to do it, but, like I seen it in a baptist church or lasting stream, a lot of charismatic churches, but not a whole lot of dreamers. I guess yeah they do the ribbon dancing thing how they do. The the streamers are like run down the aisles like kind of now, there's a mental image. There that's just kidding my funnybone written and ours, people dont really bring accessories to lutheran transfers. The most irish people bring will bring coffee, even though it says no drinks, the man in the sanctions, sleep What do you buy of people bring shoes yeah the church, I'm going to the security is very strict about the coffee. If you try to slip in the side door they're like excuse me, sir no coffee and yeah the carpet, we gotta make sure the carpet It's the carpet thing yeah, I get it hey. Friends is the voice of the b here you know we can't believe the dire headlines that we're facing in the world today everywhere you look, things are falling apart. That's why
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Dad's this one's review. All they love. I dont forget what acts like others I get to pressure about it because they're like where do you wanna go gooey where you want it, and I just want to do everything for I love that I'm like I'm like a god. my job I will become of me. I am a generous tat with a generous duff It is like one day where I m kind of the respected leader of my housel, nice. we'll biblical figured you'd just for fun to basically it's our fathers darling. It's random fathers, there's always around my birthday too. I was somewhat flippant but occasion like this this year I have been late there. Where do you go going away?
and I want to go to cracker barrel until the eyelids gain yeah. That's sad have the rainbow run. I would still like I still go back, but I don't really want to go during pride month occasion barrel. I've already to have run castro makes up from one rainbow chair they. I would need it. Germany's gay crack, yeah Jeremy's gay caucasians, that's just crazy or whatever. It was funny that cracker broward walk cause. Was there a controversy a few years ago about the whip or something in their logo? Or that doesn't surprise it was. There was a claim that cracker referred to whip cracking in slavery days or that unwilling were ended by, but that is why they call white people. Crackers leah that, but I I didn't know I thought there is near the color resigned use on the wall. There was initially hold up assaulting cracker to travis skin flesh his skin flashed kinda clash. It would be ice failings, you anymore.
In fact this is over, reveal there has been a cracker taped is, for is the whole so you Travis has been a cracker, that's all Africa we cut over. There is just a saltine with glasses. We need to do that that way, yeah, it's good, so yeah. I I like father's day. I think it's fun I like getting presents. I like to my my when goaded a baseball game with my whole family. That's fund is the first time that we ve gone with all three boys because we ve gone with the two boys, but we didn't have calvin yet he wasn't. He had created in I'm going to adopt a game on friday. There has never do that extraordinary for frighten offer. Is it actually front pregnant? I it's either predator. It's the day after prone. It's either Thursday friday is pregnant. You're going on our neighbour you're gonna daddy's dead, you're, jointly things about it, I'm gonna my best friend
if you'd like for father's day, we should go to a dodger. Oh he's going to come out, or maybe he's telling her that he's kind of a jerk. rather day we should go the dodgy it has to be this day. I mean no reason I wish it every five its product is. That would be crazy. Dodgers but the amount of EU system under the petrol indulgence or be there's you guys he did the amount be just that this week came with laid eyes on june. Sixty MIKE you're going to ride, I get it to sell my body go and protests boo. If you're, going just blew when these same gazed sooner. Ago? That's terrible man, I think it because I'm going over cups game tomorrow, I'm gonna wrigley for first I'm, I'm really well. I've been doing duty. I ll. Have you stadiums regret. I decided it was built what nineteen o nine and sixteen years built by slaves. It was man. It's also crackers were the dragon
a big controversy. Since slavery had been illegal for fifty five years. Like Fenway fenway said it's: ok, they were jewish slaves. Yeah they don't call it. The big green monster for nothing. That's in Boston anyway. I'm going I'm going with jaw, and I said think about it. I'm, like I hope, and I go. And praying convincing people advocated shepherd of together idea goes well. That's exactly the situation we misleadingly listed by like one day so he's going. I beg your pardon I e on pride net. You guys, I have to do it now and I have to report back to Babylon t shirt and, let's see totally gonna wear it, I'm going to wear a Babylon bee shirt, we're going out where mega had do, ooh yeah. That would be a that I'd probably get beat up. If I do that you might with like wearing my maga hat around l a every now and then I get in the mood to do it, it's so much fun. I love that you know who does that Joe Woolford?
though really yeah, he'll, wear a maga hat to the gym, and people don't know what to do with the haunting. I want to hang out with job offers in our mega had something to you guys would have so much fun. We should just do like. I do like ebony and ivory, like man on the street thing where we just go around l, a and r maga hats, great idea. That sounds like a great bit actually do like that idea. So do we have any good dead stories from our childhoods? but he's with anybody's dad horrible- and this is gonna- be really motion thousand one thing out: his cousin cried axa, that's all it's hard when they told us before they enter the give any good dad stories. My dad was grain, and so here, it's like he is real, he's a good father who's, a good handyman. Like he's always there fixing cars fixing things around the house like do you have any good dad stories? The only thing that pops in your head are like the few times he messed up, yeah fun. It was always funny when that stuff would have it, but no my dad was great. He is great he's still around. My dad was great.
He still rather authorities, not great he's dead to me now living on that as they like. I don't enjoy about mothers and fathers as much like living across the country. It's like, I don't get to do the end. You know go now. the family. Are in it it's just it's just right there with your phone call, just to call call my parents and talk to them on mother's day and father's day. Oh it's nice to see them The ballgame we're going to on sundays also star, worse day at the ball park, and they, if a player named Juan soto said that I'm getting a bobblehead, that's obi, wan, kenobi, obi, wan, Kenobi and he's got a lightsaber instead of a baseball bat and I feel like
so too is also similar to Hansel. I feel it is our and your wrangling, lady never made by going anymore. If is that you made the the round about pon rather than the last forty thousand bobo had their last. Oh sure, you don't we started. This is player named one. So does I bet you novel headed sky one, can choose to buy. This wire looks guy, like you Skywalker is actually very mad. Now there's so many there's this character called jaune, but yeah it's going to be an obi wan, Kenobi Obi, two one, oh my goodness,
get it cause world all. I get it to work on I'm still excited about my bobblehead. I like them, is the low hanging fruit. Now this is for the more discerning star wars then so sky walk my dear I I feel, like my dad, gave me all the childhood memories you think of like holding the flashlight and actually, and- and it's always like oh over here- stop shaking her my light you're in my hand, and then one year I got my dad a snake light because I saw dad. I don't think I do and he's just like things anyway, Is that all right? I use it all the time he still uses. He never used that he just but that's a lot of other people like a letter, a flashlight.
I always think I'm a discerning ass lady that never my daddy. He worked for mac tracks as draftsman for all his life and he is very like he was a car guy. He knew how to keep our cars earning forever and andy don't fix them. She was very handy but, like I said, the one memory I have of him is like what he messed up. We had a pop up. Camera and we'd go camping all the time as kids and we were to it behind me an old suburban and their specific warnings on campers that say, tightened the lug nuts the wheels before you take a legit. While we driving down the highway, the lug nuts popped up, one of the popup camper tyres and I went up through the rear the rear floor of the camp and started dragging admit, ethnic swerving and we had to get over click three fins of traffic and he didn't like nobody that think haven't we didn't hey other cars, but walk back and the tyre had gone all the way up through the camera and I just remember like being on the islands where we are trying to get a hoover homely. Does he had
taken the line that suddenly camphor tyre and this one I am I dead stories to- is that we were moving Can someone move and we had a mattress in the top of the car and we, I guess we just didn't, tie down enough that just went flying and we rando ran over it and had to go like in the street and drag it out and did you guys use the mattress afterwards? Yeah, did you I use that boy. Wasn't my madras. So has an aerial spraying, just a good, but we put on their beds. That's funny thing happened to it. What's that mark, yeah just the work yeah. He just barely missed it like excellent driving. So my dad my dad was. He worked at lockheed martin for a lot of years, so he was a he was in like the hr department leader Department got his phd in leadership and then he ended up work in it as a professor fur like seventeen or eighteen years, so a profess or that he me to get your phd in leadership. I am in the imo leader.
I'm not good thinking anything do for do, but I can't you would break it up all that I was over. They k. We should go. This way scares me have the matter chefs de in about Your face that face was expedition. Now, he's he's. Actually is a great guy, really quiet guy so that the biggest thing don't say that it later were. Her is spreading. yes, but, but here he was, he was really quite my dad and I were polar opposite in terms of personnel. Are you're not going unbeknownst to some, but he's dead texts quietly he he does with his fingers. Yeah, not not like me, but he can see them sitting together in gerrard's, do voice to text his dad's like looking up like heck yeah I'll, keep it there It prepared me to work here. Actually that was one of the things that I've learned. I've learned my whole life was an education on how to deal with introverts, and so So my ring- and he was,
might I worked at boning or, worse still, lives. Do both your dad's have ties to ukraine? Not an imei does not have any Not at all I mean your way of working, there's, probably some truth to the perverse incentive that they would be. Ok with more importance was really did I mean you know I do there will. I get. Is the defence industry Erin? I did go there, but I met my dad would prefer if we just defended. So my dad is part of the peacekeeper thing so like that the whole project. So will I went to peacekeeper name of a bomb? It's a it's a bomb that shoots so members scud missiles is peacekeeper. Really the name of a ball
It's the name of a bomb that sheets- and I was getting out of the sky- sounds like something that a kid drew ever hear. What he dug plum pudding shoots other born out of the sky, its end, because it has missiles and laser. That's what I call a peace keeping please do it cost one pity and causing one is now only one can, but a word is low hanging fruit he works on that. So I get to go to the cool office and which was crazy cause you get to see all the missiles like they basically were majoring on missiles. When I was a lie down as there, they did. A lot of playing by their destitute did the spatial. in all my dad's or such like many men, the early on a cannibal and engineering savvy and look at us. Both artists were trembling married for promoting disarrangement section. I did ass. Did my hat around to use it when I was a kid turning her and you're turning it around. Just like these people online yeah, so that's what's really church
if you I did he come in on your man- booms too now too far and trying to think if he did bay shape Their body ages has a lot of ghost accounts. I recently achieved because a lot of this long ago is three eyes met in a way that reflects the only way I'll make him change despite its reporting, and if you can keep your father and then have a second father, not another word just now to dance who would that be my father in law. Weight. Is this the lumber reading the problem is, I don't even see that says. Who'd, you keep your father because you get to have to father. So it was your second father. Marriage, gay marriage no there's, no, no, it is specifically says not. I do not. However, I tell you what I used to say. I always use disable cosby. Her
for obvious reasons. Then I'll say that anyway, I never used to say him and then, when I learned how good he is a pic not aroma of man. If I could be more, like this mathematical guys, these kids are ones that could say my dad was great inherited his dad. You wish donald trump was my father. I dont sites, I've. like I don't need a second further until it can, I will give our biggest like another beast another like men from my family. Like my group, It might be an exceptionally thing. I don't really kind of feeling that railways go tv, dead, call winslow now or yours either, My father in law is amazing. I too, it is by the studies by the same he's on the same busily outer. Let's go to the other. You do get a second father is a great guy and you have a family is a huge Babylon beef and bill Stevens, huge babylon, be fan awesome guy. You bill Stevens eg, you bill Stevens, we love you bill. Students use,
bills. Even is your only hope that ninety nine percent bill we owe bill what bill bill. Why not evaluated stevens? Who, the best biblical father, you can pick god they on a fault Abraham almost killed. If they did not know, I never did anything like the prodigal sons, father Let me end by the arable: does that comparable? Does it giving nothing you could pick? The breakdown thou know now has obvious. If you pay a bit god and you pick the character, the represents good. It's not true. David was that shit. Let's talk about this resent David was an awful father. Jacob was here I would so use counter that rather Jes. If you don't know much about his father,
good, samuel dynamic, have any kids a terrible father. It doesn't have to be the best. Like he's said, my father, but just the most intense. The father, whether you get while Peter or the most going for entertainment value here and it's invite Paul didn't have any kids. Jesus didn't have any kids, but Paul had true children in the faith, Timothy yeah, I'm sure timothy. If he had that, question late with you'd give you can have another farther the aid they all I've got all Paul back. I think Peter would be fun. it's like Peter as a dad seems like he'd, be the guy. That's like the cars breaking. Down on the family, Europe and I'll take care of it while he, but will he be a bit of a goofball? Oh, we'd all be laughing at them. I agree, I think Peter is a bit of a goofball as a group. He is definitely goofball guy. That says cringey cringey things like when other people around and he embarrasses you are picked peter
What are they actually doesn't say that you're picking, iser, hague, Peter and now he's who's the word biblical father, you can fix satan because he's the father of law louder list those about there's some pretty bad. His name's started. The J, the donut steadied sack of your general Jeroboam Jotham too hard on the first person, runs out. A story on exact orphans lies like ever steps through that door, I'm on a matter don't some of them, do the six with their kids yellow, last year in his defence, he was a no better buried in his defence. It was dark. He was very drunk gotta handed to when I found out about bill Cosby I'd, probably would go a lot as the worst biblical father just because he dared like hey, let's move to saddam. He also did. He also was
Take my daughter's, please yeah. I rise pretty bad when didn't ironically, take my virus. Please blazed, and then I get no respect their gaze running a lot lot is led by rodi dangerfield interest. For probably other I'd, go with Abraham. Just because father, abraham abrahams presario choice, I may be in other than those saying he was perfect. Duty kicked male out into the wilderness. Like his a guide, said: listen to your wife. He had permission to. Do it essentially any almost killed Israel also ordained by god, but are not things that psycho answering your indulgence. These then tell me I'm just saying to me: it was tat Well, the abraham psychological imprint, acid, J, Israel? Now I gotta go there's that one time he almost murdered me this funny story. Funniest.
What are some daddy daily? I thing: what are some good gift ideas for fathers day? Should wives be watching this Glenn livid scotch his skin is again on a ram, would be good so that you don't have these isaac some medium body cigars, like they dont, tread on me, labelled ones on cigar, page dot, com cigar, page dat, come I'll. Tell you what I always my dad is clive kessler novel, I doubt very much every year, dirt ahead yeah the same dirk pitt, not joe better. Look. I got used to hara again, it's dirk pitt, that's what I said as a joke, but don't roll back the tape right now. one without we'll wait you and then he lets flashed back to when he was a cracker with glasses, fit, but very excited How did we come and get us soon? I'm in the regular we could well you girls, I'm gonna, get a severe, probably those are branded us and, as you ve a soviet,
That's right. It's like to know no causes the preparation. It's like a french like you, it's like a kiss, moderate certain temperature, and then stick the meat in there in a bag, and then it keeps it at that temperature for a long time, oh yeah, as a way of cooking meat, sous vid su ve day. I still don't know what you're talking about. Maybe it is stupid, but not I'm not familiar either Oh, it's cool! I'm excited! I don't even know what category a finger talking about like. Is this an appliance yeah an appliance? It's like a man for barbecue and mean often you can all kinds of cooking disease you just build a well then you just a stake in it sometimes and then I always think knives. Knives are good present for this time, any any knife, Carry on your belt? You absolutely do you never have to many other less my home state flashlights. You can have tomatoes sort of garden advisors are always gave boardgame. I like that
like the more likely event kind of like taking out for dinner fishing trip, takedown take out like a boat right or some innocent those star wars day at the local. Park pride, nay, I gondis boy went right wearing a man, for I noted the flip dodgers I wonder if that live on tat side. They are, I well father's day to all. The fathers in the subscriber portion were going to read some stories from our subscribers about their fathers. So that's going to be fun. Oh, they had good fathers, but first hate mail. You know what others like hate mail, you used to be to pour out, and for that I really miss. Eyre employed we sent out an email promoting our fathers day. Shirt.
Lovingly rendered and sketched out by patina. We can't say nice things out: patina she's, not father. Next week you can commend her next week we will do and it's a git. Your dad are new fathers day shirt before it's too late and Barbara replied. You hid demented piece of rotten snot. What was that? What is on the shore it is the shirt offensive. Now it's just an infographic of like a drawing of a dad and then pointing out. in his view, So here and Barbara kirkland Kirkland best demented peace were worth my class for that I heard this person and end up like a mailing list. That's by their part about the hate mail. Is that people replied in the newsletter when they signed up that I've? Never email me to get em like what did you think? reserving for maybe what
is signing up random, like we're just typing in random email addresses, hoping that other people are signing them up as a joke, yeah otherwise way. I just texted my best friend to let him know that it's pride night on friday and he basel ii he learned, Howie response will be. His tat is the year of weighing. Why do you think I bought the tickets I thought you knew where to find out what thanks for, watching baseball. I was saving it as a surprise. We're going to find out what he says and the subscriber learned I've been found out hey guys, thanks for watching and happy father's day to all the fathers out there. Fatherhood is a wonderful thing and we're going to have some more father stories in the subscriber portion to become a subscriber. Babymetal comes less plans and use code. Podcast and twenty percent of you can join us and Travis is raising his hand. Yes, one side of waves waving alike at you. There was a very was doing it like the old knight and less crusade where he
anyway? This is the reason I like this indiana jones only comes in and destroys his entire plays devotees like seven owners and automatically I was least we amend of you would have gotten that reference. If you saw Travis, do that new that always like the old by the headscarf, strangely dressed at night, jumping up next Babylon subscribers Southern baptists, wish god had written some kind of book. Telling them who can be ordained is pastor. Is this whole category of people that only exist on twitter, and I don't know who they are? Ok by them my body just dead. The ones before they get like fourteen or twelve later that one got nine. That was funny buddy.
how do you have rules for all the other segments, but then you'll applaud a non comedy headlined pitch. This has been another edition of the Babylon bee podcast for the dedicated team of certified fake news journalists. You can trust here at the Babylon bee, reminding you that an adventure is only an inconvenience, rightly considered.
Transcript generated on 2023-06-18.