How do you deal with social anxiety?
Do you have tools in place to help you overcome anxious thoughts?
Today, Zane Lowe sits down with Jay Shetty for a conversation about success in career, marriage and parenthood, and how to navigate social anxiety. Zane is a grammy-nominated producer, executive, and radio host. He is Apple Music’s Creative Director and the flagship anchor for Apple Music 1, part of the award-winning Apple Music Radio. In addition to hosting his daily show, Zane curates original programming and oversees Apple Music's artist-led programming, which features shows hosted by Lady Gaga, Billie Eilish, Lil Wayne, Justin Bieber, and many more.
Zane opens up about his lifelong passion for music, which was ignited by a chance meeting with Split Enz. What's truly remarkable is that, despite his immense success in the music industry, He remains a devoted fan at heart. He reminds us that our passions can be a driving force in our lives, and when we put our focus on manifesting what truly matters, we can create space within ourselves for the good things.
As we dive deeper into this candid discussion, Zane shares his insights on maintaining a balanced life in the face of distractions and the importance of cherishing the simple things. He highlights the value of creating communities and experiences that inspire others, shedding light on how therapy played a pivotal role in preparing him for parenthood, and the essence of love as an unspoken language, the secrets of lasting marriages, and the true meaning of greatness.
In this interview, you'll learn:
- Why you need to focus on what truly matters in your life
- How to create space for positive things
- The power of shared experiences in a community
- How to love deeply and more meaningfully
- How to be in-tune with your ego
- How to maintain a healthy balance in your life
- How to have impactful and inspiring conversations
In the end, we are reminded that the most inspiring conversations often happen with those who have no intention to sell, leaving us with profound insights about life and purpose.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:29 How A Life-long Passion For Music Evolved Into A Successful Career
07:36 We Manifest The Things We Focus On
10:06 Dedicate Your Focus To Things That Feel Authentic To You
14:19 The Importance Of Creating Space Within Your Mind
16:30 The True Purpose Of Music Is To Inspire and Create Community
20:55 How Therapy Helped Prepare Zane For Parenthood
24:55 What Kind Of Father Do You Want To Be?
26:30 Why Is Love Considered An Unspoken Language?
29:36 You Need To Grow Together If You Want Your Marriage Can Last
33:44 Navigating Social Anxiety
36:26 True Greatness Comes From Knowing How To Access It
42:06 How To Recognize A Genuine Connection With An Individual
45:37 What’s Your Relationship With Your Ego?
51:30 Do You Manifest? How Do You Practice Manifestation?
53:23 How Do You Manage Ambition And Still Maintain A Balanced Life?
58:46 You’ll Miss Opportunities If You’re Only Focused On Speed
01:01:00 Practicing Healthy Routines
01:04:07 Undoing Habits And Practices That Society Built For Us
01:11:03 What Is The Difference Between Working And Working Hard?
01:11:55 The Most Inspiring Conversations Are With People Who Have No Intention To Sell 01:17:25 Zane Lowe on Final Five
Episode Resources:
- Zane Lowe | Twitter
- Zane Lowe | Instagram
- Zane Lowe | Facebook
- Zane Lowe | TikTok
- Zane Lowe | YouTube
- The Zane Lowe Show
Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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just pull the car over stop driving in a direction that you think you should go in, because your direction is right now, stop that all the cars drive pasta and enjoy the fact that you're, actually stopping saying halo, international dj apple, music's, creative director, I love you, then I'd rather just go in and already have a big introduction. I really genuinely thought I'm just going to live with these eggs. This'll, be it for the rest of my life. Why would you want to live with pain? How do you work and will you achieve the more you achieve them when you tell yourself you're located and what types of pain of dealing with the shit
before we jump into this episode- I'd like to invite you to join this community, to hear more interviews that will help you become happier healthier and more healed. All I wanted to do
click on the subscribe button? I love your support. It's incredible to see all your comments and we just getting started. I com
it's gone this journey with you. Thank you so much for subscribe
think. It means the world to the best selling author and hosts the number one else in the world, his podcast and the day. Shedding. How do you describe
what do you do? How do you like to choose, because I feel like.
when you have a role that is public like I was
Asked what you want your lower third to say- and I don't like being
find by the lists of roles and titles.
so I would you describe what you do, what you believe it I agree I mean
they rose entitles, make it easier to work with other people with rose entitles, but I
then in life is different in my life, I'm just a fan, I'm just up. I'm a fan.
Someone who discovered something very early on in life that stuck with me, I knew
it's gonna, be very special and important to my development to my dinner,
It'll help me find my way in life, and once I Can'T-
made. It a singularity rather than one of many hobbes interests me I just tried to amass, must
Much of it is possible, like almost obsessively, and so I'm just a big big fan of what I love, which
as outside my family friends as musics, I'm still under the supervision
I love that that sets a great kuwait defining herself with the widow
you've sat down with, obviously so many incredible artists and beautiful interviews. I've watched you're, one of my favorite entries is yours with harry styles, that that was, I thought that was brilliant. But when was the first time you felt like a fan when you hadn't met someone like when was the first time you felt like a real fan
and when you didn't sit opposite that person- and you didn't know that person and do you remember that moment, you mean like at a concert and stuff at a concert like when you bought your first record or like where was that experience of your first home a useful question out the gate? Bro like what an amazing question and the first time I really. I really realized that it was chemical. It was and it wasn't really a.
Something by design it was, I was reactive, was.
probably
going in seeing a bank card split ends which is on.
Arguably new believe most influential in legendary banned there
around predominantly in the seventies and hello success ladys in the
and the ladys they base of splendid off and neil thin left
phone crowded house and of course everyone knows courthouse in your friend. I dream it's over and you know he had a huge is heading
Huge success in huge career has, if other members, that band but
in their hey day when I went for them as a kid with my mum, I think, being in that crowd
and reacting the way I did to the music, which are already remember. My mom always told me that it was. It was
like an out of body experience like I was like I was in church or something like. I wasn't. I wasn't
into the music in the same way that she'd senior harmless,
is looking left and right. I was somewhere
splendid attire, yeah and in a way that in some countries- and so that's what I think she realized all this- it grabs this kid
I think we are going in seeing stop making sense. The movie by talking heads was one
I like I wanted to get as close to
it was different split- is all right there on the stage but saying talking, heads on that screen, and I made my mom take me to them.
two days in a row as a
person, but a little order that that was when I was like. Oh, how do I get to them?
there on a big movie screen right now. How do I get to them?
experiences down the road, but talking heads is somewhere like them, as will be on mars, cleaner air, that's a view
that's it yeah. I love be
I love the idea first time and I think the first movie I saw entities was cool running real,
such a great first experience at the theatres.
I don't know anyone who doesn't love there phone. I is such a great like first experience and then my first album that I probably listen to sign.
Willie, I took what is, I haven't, organise a lot, but it makes sense to promote it. Would you like a,
when a home, where I was encouraged to learn how to play instruments,
never listened to a lot of music, interesting, so more discipline and enjoyment level correct. It was more like an extracurricular academic activity
is it would look good on my resume when I applied to a better.
Cool aurora and it really.
Hampered my ability to to love instruments
so I grew up playing the piano. I did great up too great for in the piano. I did great five theory, I played precaution and all the while, not really knowing what listening to music the feeling is. There was
feeling, and then I ten twelve or thirteen, when I kind of stop doing that and I was introduced to an end for the first
andra, so you were instrument and not really being exposed to the enjoyment of music to listening to Eminem. Yes, literally, that was it. That was exactly it. I don't want you eating any sugar in the house and then eventually look here's a six tier chocolate cake, decorated.
and delicious that is there an ironic
they form a guy at school any and he had. He had like the had the infinite album too, which was orders
the first one
and I remember putting on and feeling like such a fan, where in a way,
but I've never felt again
even in that first is important, but would you what do you think's changed about you?
relationship with being a fan, you said, you're still a fan, but like what was it like being a fan back then, and what is it like? Being a fan back now when you're so close to the industry
who are the index.
in so many ways you define,
take self. What doesn't like you so close to it or what? What
changed in being a fan? A lot? Nothing I mean you know the the simple question is very little. I mean the distance between who I was in that concert and who I am today is very it's a very short distance
get the same sense of us look. I can still find
something that space from lost it. I can still put on music
my headphones and go for a walk and enough in floods of tears. Quietly on my own, you know it's it's something that is deeply to fix me deeply.
and I ve had to work to hold onto that
That's how I norm in the right place in my life
in terms of the industry side of it that's a whole other conversation, I mean everything's changed there and I think finding my
often any room or in any seat or by any microphone or in any conversation or any studio to me, was always
look I didn't know how to get in those rooms. I didn't know how to do that,
come from a background where the kind
he's a chemistry I wanted to move into the area. I once move in my life made since my dad's from a radio backgrounds. Ok, you can say that makes more sense bottom that wasn't
Tension is a kid I I didn't. Wake up in one follow my father's footsteps. He knows this. I wanted to be recording studio and make music my whole life, and I didn't
I get there and I didn't know what a music industry was, and I mean there wasn't a music industry really in new and some are even argue that there is but it's
specifically that environment, it's not london, it's not new york, it's not tokyo. It's not germany! Where
so that is a journey that I can't even put into context myself.
Thank you know this more than anyone right like stand alone.
and absorbed the situation, learn and move forward and dumb
I think I was doing that without even realizing it cause. I I couldn't have chatted this this path. That makes eugen even more fascinating to me, because you're right, you didn't grow up in a space that naturally lend itself
to the career you have today. Do you remember if you could try back for us even before what consciously comes to mind? What was that first step, you too, to say, I'm gonna pursued is
I feel today it's really fascinating that there's even more choices,
once it is even more access, but
low listening today, even myself a few years ago, I found
so, if the limiting belief and the hopelessness almost of
my dreams really far away. I don't think it's possible. Those kind of things don't happen to people like me. I'm not set up
his succeed, because I think that in that moment in time- and I felt that many times in my life, I think fit what
This is where the most effective and women
some have singularity to focus on. You know it's like this is what I love. This is who I love
the prisoner most wanna. Have this conversation with my life right now,
this is, what I need to do to be healthy and
can we, when we focus on things that are ultimately giving us purpose, I did it
We manifest wearing realizing it know and- and I think when we get into that place of hopeless
that you ve, been in I've been, and others have been in an hour in its
when we split the singularity up into fifty five things hundred things, a thousand things a million things at best, they contradicted-
other account counter each other. At worst. They actively fight for fear attention, and you can't give you
tension to to everything, and so that's what you end up. Just standing still questioning your own
because your own abilities
does it seems hard to stick step forward, because this so much noise that that's around you win
I've been out. My most effective and best for myself is when I've been least affected by that noise and
focused on. What I know is moving me emotion me and inspiration me in my life
yeah, that's I've, never heard it put that way, but that resonates deeply. I remember I sat down with one of my spiritual teachers, probably when I was maybe like ten years ago.
I've got all these ideas and want to do all these things, but I don't know where to start here's what you just described that like fragmented distracted, static,
That, again and- and I said to him- I just I don't know I just started- he said something beautiful to me said he said open every door that you possibly can and then he said the doors that close, let them clothes and just keep walking through the
that remain open, ass, amazing and it was. It was the best advice of ever got in life because I felt like
One of us we're just standing at one door or ten doors is gonna open. All of that in all my wife is to me when I get like dashes. I pull not listen.
Maybe sometimes literally, but she says, pull the car
and what she means is that just pull the car over stop dry
thing in a direction that you think you should go on, because you'd directionless right now and you actually passed
they driving itself. Further away from, we should be pull the car over. Stop that all the cars
dr past, and don't worry about where they going with the traffic go past, you don't worry about it, just enjoy the fact
actually stopping ignored
traffic ignore everyone else for
somewhere. You wanna, go, choose your direction and focus on it.
because, right now in this domain,
she's at most lol she's like his right now, you're very all over the freeway. Like you, you have no idea where you're going, and you know it is
to me that kind of it. It speaks a similar truth, which is its we're. All
in everyday life entirely capable of dust of being
didn't distracting ourselves and allowing us to ourselves to be distracted and
it's a part of life because it's noisy, it's really noisy and especially the older you get the more you see the more you absorb the more you try to own the more you try to find yourself through the things you own. This is an awesome space, but
stuff in here right some
if you leave you gotta figure out where the stuff goes, you take it. You leave at these all decisions, right, everything's, a decision, and I think that
when we probably most capable
making the decisions that ultimate
charter, a path of of of true holistic end.
Virtual and also just ambition level. That value is when we have focused on simplicity, simple things
It's true, simple doors. It's true yeah! It's what I found
really attractive is a peaceful mind, an internal simplicity,
Allows for navigation of external chaos. It makes us more capable of moving through their thrashing
as correct yeah like I've. I've always thought about what I've tried to work on a lot and I work on every day because I'm not there yet is to refine my internal intention to be so simple and clear that then the external complexity, which naturally comes with being an entrepreneur, running a business and everything
that comes with trying to make an impact and and trying to provide for your family in the people. You love, but it's like the rest
for doing is just one little dog
when they my most decisive, probably had a few nights drinking some wine. My work is,
really busy, and I'm not really seeing
I'm not seeing it. I'm not seeing the playbook for that weak and some of them
you mean asked me the most simple thing and I can't make that decision and this it's because to appoint I've
clouded my own ability to be decisive, and sometimes it's not it's not my dear
my decisions. Sometimes it's just stuff gone off around you. Anything
as well about about trying to find that internal balance that
already internally is that that's where the most noises I mean that this old pails too, that, like think about
every experience and every memory and everything and whether it's trauma or joy, that we were absorbing all the time like. That's why I love therapy so much and if you can do it and you can afford it and it's something that you would have a willing to try on I'm a big believer in it because it's it to me, it just creates space. It just helps you like down, like fifty percent
ash, and now I have space to fill it with stuff based on my learnings and what I truly know about myself. That is a value to me, vs, the stuff that I either inherited that I never wanted in the first place was stuff that I thought
one of the very nicely good. For me
skip it all right now, it's a great way to clear out and because that is to me the noisiest. For me,
that is why noisy them was outside the store way. Noisier seas,
Are you not day yet I'm never gonna get their J. I thought I'd love. I loved the process yes to pursue, but I like the way you describe therapy is clear out because I don't think that's how it often away scene and it's really interesting right. We
now are you to my wardrobe out- need get rid of some
and it feels good when you do and if it was good when you do, but we don't think about our thoughts that way and we are finite. We have finite space. I think we have fun and ability to build a process, certainly emotionally and way that we
cs information and how it makes us feel,
but our feelings are wasted. Our waste yeah cause. We did driven by
You going. It takes us back to time
a lively one happy or triggers something that we as unresolved and and our feelings than dictate our actions. But if we not create space for us to be able to fill ourselves with good things, enough did our feelings, sometimes again,
things just won't be. They went honour us as well yeah that you'd remarks,
I studied I read a while ago. That said, and it may, it may be different now, because of just how fast things are changing
you're, saying that the human brain has the ability to compute, like seventy four gigabytes of day or a day, but we are just filling it up.
With my way easily consuming dogma that isn't selected cleared out curated, it's just being felt,
what's coming and we always going to have to because we can't like control,
the fallacy and we can't dictate how our life works in terms of who's gives us what information and how we process things and who tries to you know
but how we unloading energy on each other and that's just putting human.
And living in a society, but
What it does allow us to do is to be conscious of that
to allow sauce. The way I was a kid is like a meter in the red right. If, if you look at this, all kind of like got an ethic tiger
meat is one of them that, whatever you got that got the needle here and in the last kind of
in percents red, it's always red, yes, yes, yes, the rest of it white everything's grade bad or good, bad right and and and if you
go to the ability to be processed promptly than then. Even if you wake up in the morning, and you sit back to sort of thirty.
Cause you restless, and you got some anxiety when you wake up. If you ve got to
based figured out, the small
thing and you back in the red. But what I
I to do, is have a guy like that and then, when it gets to about seventy figure out how to get it back down to thirty. So if it does,
getting the red. I just I've got more of an ability process and to manage those feelings were dead.
What I want to things are met I wanted to go back. A couple of steps is something you mention those beautiful where you described you're trance, like experience almost
of being lost any reminded me of the visual, which I think basil lemon did a great job in their new, always movie leg.
You see I like that movie. I really like the visual storytelling of outdoors. We end the musical spectacular area I thought the scenes of
Young Elvis having those trans like experiences was was really
especially when I wonder what did it feel like when? Maybe
You are djing, you are creating that you saw people having that kind of experience to you. How was it like commerce being on the opposite end? Well, the reason that I chose to deja in the first place was because I think, there's always been a performance part of my nature that I I said to to my backs too strong a term but
as I found myself in the in the media side of things, and I guess connected-
This is a fact which I love to do it.
I didn't really have so much of an hour
it for that and until I got to radio and then I guess that started to come out in the way I broadcast in the way that I played records. It was beer. I was very sort of like, and I still am, but
very much during my time at the bbc, I was very active with the music I like to use a fee.
ics and reverbs, and sing along to the songs and pull em up and explode them and in the mirror- and I just saw them as things to kind of play with rather than just press play sit back.
Think of something to say whether the sunday and say it prisoner, that is actually the most respect.
Where you type in the media and am very teaches. Do that not all of them.
but that's all my favorite dj
other ones who pull us all up and play
five times in thirty minutes and scream over it and get me excited and made me connect to the music in a different way. Doesn't example,
the performance of sight of who I am, and so I start to get that out in a radio and then and then I was like well, you know. I mean
stage on Mister bingham front across. How would I carve up
space myself as a dj and when I started to
carve out my dinners dj. I was
I do so in a way that was built out of the kind of
chaos that I love about: music, the joy
an indefinable genre violence
flash like. I don't know what they make. Half the time right. The way the bomb squad made public enemy, recalls, an ice cube records and, like woe
a chainsaw like what's going on, I hadn't lange, and what are they just? Do they stop that, though the beast
we did, it would pose boutique. You know in
at the end, I got all the stuff, I'm going back to new york city, what the heck! I do believe. I've had enough to do do do do like what are they
stopping and where are they going what's happening? Why is this happening? What's going on like it's? Just full of surprises left turns right turns. The whole thing is just completely unpredictable and I tried to do that so
say that to say that
I had to learn how to put people on a chance, because most time I think I was its hurting them
This sensibilities, at least you know I was just like that was like whoa and some kids got it and were like this is awesome and some kids were like man. I just want a house mix mix something and blend something you know
So am I,
for me, like the joy
I got out when I was dj,
watching the way people reacted to music was just realizing that in that in that moment in time, whatever else
who's going and I'm sure every artist would tell you this. Who guests
one stage and and do anything in there and their environment
knowing that in that moment in time, whatever ass his happened before was it all they worry
at the office does doesn't really matter that,
As far as being in the moment is concerned,
yet to share in that with people, and you get so try to create an environment without matters and every dj that I've ever played with her to it with the greatest of all time right through to you know my friends, that's what really, and it is that, if you boil down to its to its primary source, I think it's about creating a community and experience that exists in the moment that is free of the thread of life and is really there too. Just inspire
I people too, and yeah go into that space that I was in as a kid yeah that and not have to socialize with people which, if you're socially anxious, let me then be a dj. It protects you
is he never to speak to anyone needing it again for the rest of your life. You don't want to no expects you to. I was going to ask you to id like you, you talk, you touched on like the importance of therapy new thing. That's worked for you. What was it initially that guided you in that direction? A? How did you? Why did you specifically choose
gene therapy as modality to support you in whatever you live, and what were you? Looking for from it are parenthood in became father and.
I realise that in that moment that I was ill prepared to beat to to share my best.
Well, I had to do the work in order to be at my best, and I'm incredibly grateful to my wife and to my friends and my family for encouraging me to do that and at the time I was mad at my lowest point. I think
and it was really hard. But in doing that work, my life has changed like for the better in every way and dumb and ultimately you know
gave me the ability and the tolls to be able to like and love myself enough to love the people that I love more than anything in the world completely and without compromise. I think if I hadn't done that work, I think I would have always either felt compromised and my ability to love. Others certainly love my kids and my wife and and beloved, and I think that you know that is the thing that really ultimately makes me. The saddest is thinking back to that alternative and how that feels for people, I think to be loved and to love completely is the is the purpose. I think that is it someone who is feeling that sense of love and commitment has to let go for us to exist and we have to let go to move on somewhere in the middle just about
The ability to be loved and to love do you think that you fell out of love with yourself or that you were never in love with yourself in the first whew I dunno that's a great question. I dunno I dunno, I dunno
I was definitely loved my mum and my dad and my brother, I mean I come from a very loving family, but I think that it was a compromised environment in terms of the beast,
the environment, and so you see sides of relationships and life and the family structure that a shocking to you as a kid in its hard to figure out what your identity is
yourself, let alone what you need to be for everybody else in I wanted to fix it, and I couldn't. I don't have the tools to young and what to do.
and dumb.
I guess somewhere along the line. I just just was lost touch with the simple ambitions of life, which alike.
Which is to try to put itself in an environment which is this joyful as possible around people that you love and just try to funds must
balance as you can, and I just think I e out an old man. I mean I definite came from a background that was, it wasn't a similar to the terms of the the cause and effect as billions of people. I mean relationships, start relationships end. I love my parents. In the end, it was the right decision for them. It was very tough for me as a cure that moment
and I think what I had to do is take responsibility for that, rather than either ignore.
right or all project some kind of really pointless blue.
I'm on a scenario that was completely out of control. So, like ok,
and so the only way I could really said of the only point in my life I could.
that was when I realized that I had something that was more important than the blame or more important than the ignoring, and that was being a dad. As I I'd like. I need to take responsibility for how I'm processing this or not otherwise, this beautiful future is I'm not going to get the most out of it, and neither are they. What what kind of dad do you want to be and why I want to be a father that and hope I am a father that
eyes our kids, with a sense of unconditional love, a very trusting father who really leans into the principles that I hold dear, which I you know I just love and support
honesty and I you know,
Just. I want our kids to know that and they do that. I'm happy if they're happy
I wanted to work hard and I want them to be focused on the and, if they're lucky enough to find something they love, which both of them seem to have done. I want them to
but that is no substitute for the draft and for the working
if the dedication and being respect fallen and of your
ten days and making the most of them and keeping a king very shot rate offer when the door opens ever so slightly know how to walk in and know how to stay. But equally, I just want them to be here.
Be, and I and I want to be someone who they they feel like us, either
conditionally understood that data
Work on europa was
considering that I didn't even understand myself yeah, so
I am very lucky. I mean if we're to go there. I will just go there like I, you know I have this incredible partner for life and my wife who has been, I didn't know how to tell you. I mean she's just incredible and sounds if issue em and you get it even through the advice that you said:
did you get it, but you get it? Do you get it? You find someone? You life that makes you better and then you start to figure out how you
make them better cause. It can't go one way and then you ve got it didn't go some special yeah. My my wife is exposed to me flaws that I would have hidden for so long from the world, because I could and then all of a sudden, in a very non judge, mentor non critical way. Someone else you realise not even if it's so subconscious as well. It's not even like a teacher. It's not like having a coach or guide or someone who's telling you all
showing you it's just someone who effortlessly reveals to you parts of yourself that you know that the only one that sees it will love as an unspoken language lawyer. I mean that's why families, if you, if you have a very loving unit around you, you are able to communicate without saying anything and I think in Britain a different way when you
you develop your own family, your own relationships that you know ultimately grow with you. Of course, your life, it becomes more of an individual experience,
but that that builds from within that out the language
just again, but it is still an unspoken thing: how did you meet a while? I'm in car and I met when we were kids and and
you know I was. I was love at first sight for major turkey like ten years to figure it out, but we want to get hurt ideas. You haven't we where we went to get it for that time. We just
a small and we knew each other in circles emerges, kids grown up and running around and dumb.
then I moved to london and she followed about six to eight months after that, just on her own and just looked me up because we knew each other from back in back. In the day,
back home and she didn't know anyone out there and she's like I am out london. If you wanna, get a beer and.
the true story. We wait for a beer at a pub which I think has caught the famous cock. I mean
a lot of talks it in an enlarged the reserve. Beer, yes for haiti is famous for
accent is roosters and is like you know that the teams on handily cock and there's lots of cocks. Yet so we went to one of those cocks, I think on regent street, and it was me- and I hope she doesn't mind me telling you this, but I'm sure she wouldn't because it's a great footnote in that story was me and and a good friend of ours who still as a good friend of ours code hosts and cat deeley,
who I knew from mtv, whose just getting her breakin mtv in doing some great stuff is that even as far as a young person on tv and so we
for a pint and that's how I reconnected with her and then from there are stories dad to unfold and and would have to drink wine to tell the retailer
but you know it is long and brilliant. You know unique like everyone story, but
I mean. I know I've known his. I mean I was jack. I had to move halfway around the world to marry. Someone had known most
my life from home. How did when you ve known someone for that long? I always wonder how you allow that growth on both sides, because I guess, when you ve known so that long, you ve, you ve, been three different people who at least more of it
you are and she's becoming more of her. She really is like how have you continued? Could you said you been ever to get together over two decades
Yeah, nearly twenty four years we have inherited draperies remarriage. You said exactly: what is it that really long term congratulated
like how did was that conscious,
intentional or you both use been
flowing day together, their law to stay together. But, more importantly, it see
and it sounds from what I'm hearing tat you ve kind of growth,
together, how ya doing that amount allowed their growth
stay together and ass. You go to career, otherwise you grow part. Well, you know we got. We got married quickly. You know we were together and it was like this is meant to be, and then for one reason or another:
our marriage was really and dictated by
other things? It was like a visa issues and shall have to go home and because we know we would be didn't we didn't have. I
stay another she could end, and so,
you're really came down to light look. It is a future for those than this. This has to be the only way forward, and so we got married and it was a rate.
the registry office and with to it,
this, as you know, there was in short of telling our parents, which we did it
two weeks beforehand. I mean it would have been enough. We would have a lote, I mean it was. It was so fast and you know I think both of us felt like it was forever, but I think it's kind of too simplistic to say that we were kids and we think we were just trying to keep the
keep going. Yeah I dislike look. This is really great. We don't know what the future
but if you have to leave and I stay it's gonna- make it down much harder for us to find out
and in a way that works for the kind of people that we are. I mean not to speak for her, I'm very conscious not to do that. Cause she's her own person, but you know, I think I think both of us just like
finding out and was still finding out- and I think that's what's cool about it- is that on
We didn't go into it with some kind of major pressure with no disrespect. I've been some incredible weddings and I think you should be entitled to celebrate your union. However, you want, but the us not feel happier with troops of a hundred of
two pairs of eyes on us. You know like this is that life,
everybody, like I mean it just it just suited us to just get going just get to work like we just woke up one day and were like, let's just get to work and we
Haven't we been working out of a sense and it takes work, but if someone
once you know,
even even the days when it seems like it's really hard work. The next day, like anything in life, though Hardwicke pays off. Yeah absolutely said you see
No, we had four hundred people, our wedding and I'll. Tell you why? Because in an indian house out your parents,
are obliged to invite every person. That's ever invited den two decades when
So if you could literally, you could start the ball rolling early and just invite everybody, whether you know them or not and they'd just be like I am set for the rest of my life. I have so many great experiences. I'm going to have literally and already get a better sense of literally my parents and my wife's parents have a list of people that have to be
at the wedding because they've been to their kids' weddings, love that and so hosted the wedding? This is my wife still talks about walking around at our reception, say hello and I've no idea is to it and that's small for an indian wedding, like I have friends who had like five hundred to one thousand people at their wedding, we we were somewhat give us a way, not dissimilar, because it's not like you're signing like some kind of emotional contract for these people, that it's not it comes down to. It. Just comes down to the union to the to the team and it's like either works or it doesn't. I don't hold my parents.
I don't have any ill will against you up to my parents, will hold them responsible for the end of their marriage? Did it it just? It ceased to exist, yeah, and it happens all the time,
a good friends going to run out, samia I'd just think for us. We try to keep things really simple. We make each other laugh.
Like a lot and if it's not the same thing kitty
it's as they should
that's me like she really dishes out a lot. You know like you're more on time
So this is an easy joke and then
beyond that we, like each other's company
and we know that we're not always going to agree, but we know that it's not gonna. It's it's! It's not going to get in between the simple principles that keep us together: she's just
a better way hata. He knows it's just a different america is beautiful.
He talked about having a social anxiety and need of being a dj and talking about how we were joking about how it's easier to get away with that, but obviously, in your career, there's been so many opportunities. As you said, with your children, you want them to be able to walk through the door and stay there, and that requires one to kind of negotiate through that social anxiety, sometimes I'm sure you've at the
walk into the rooms and pitch yourself and hold your own and negotiate and then stand your ground and whatever may be talked lawyers, and you know this so much too
when you're in and I feel
these seventy people are listening and watching where so
anxieties at primary cripples them. It stops them from walking to im starting that conversation. What was what we use,
into yourself what we you working on in order to move through some of those uncomfortable experiences
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yeah, my friend was having a function. The other night beautiful function, a total, a reason to celebrate, and I I I I nearly was like. I can't go. There wasn't any valid reason for me to not go in my mind from a cerebral
that makes sense. Not it made sense and then there are times- and you know I'm skipping out the door it just pins. I mean
may in terms of light breaking up into two things, because it makes you made some good points
in terms of like the social side of it, I try to be kind to myself. I try to allow myself the space to make a decision, that's as pressure free as possible and then more often than not. I find good valid reasons to continue forward. I feel that if I apply too much pressure on myself most of it's unreal
and then I ll end up just not going anyway and then awful bad, because the unreal will evaporate, and I realise that I made a decision that wasn't based in the real,
I tried it. I tried it. I know myself enough to get ahead of that and just be like you don't have to do anything, don't go from one
it's a set. Tell myself that might well this couplet good reasons to guide you known, as that would bring myself,
What on that in terms of the works out of it and then getting in the room,
to tell you. I mean a few times when I've when I've. I know that I've had to step up and do something. That's ultimately help change the shape of my journey and therefore my family's journey or whatever that's when you start getting into the intangible a bit for me into the sort of the magic of the moment and what makes people
almost athletes. Surgeons, I mean I'm going lofty, but anybody I mean superheroes people do
out of body things it's nowhere near on the same level and I'm not trying to put like getting in a room and pitching the best shit. At the same,
thing, but it exists in the same space of like. I don't quite know why wasn,
the debating this extra gear, but I'm using It- and I think true greatness- comes from people who know how to access it more consciously than I do at this point in my life. You know you talking about. You know the Michael Jordan of this world. Who can the beyond says the sort of like I can
they don't shy away from the occasion they level they see it. They know what it is. They understand, and I'm just talk about the us now respectfully to everybody else like us. If I stuck in your going in apologizing for every other out, little occupational thing in life is more important than the
to everyone else. Then I'm just going to end up like a fetal position in this podcast is going to be over. So I'm just
focus based on your background. I know how it goes is more important things in life than music and the arts. I get it and I respect it. But for me that's the word I'm in so I'm just going to focus on that. So in the performing,
you know what I watch: people all the time step up further than they have before, and I just think it something in us dead. I'm is there and sometimes the occasion requires it, and sometimes you meet someone who
found a way to harness it, and that is when you start dealing with like the greats like the people who, just they see it, they manifest it.
Happens, but then they recognise that it's happening, and then they recognise the feeling
and then they remember that feeling and then they practice that feeling and then they get the ball and with point three point three seconds to go every time that's like when you dealing with just another letter,
I'm not there, but I've had a few moments in my life when that get kicked in and I love it
You know the job I mean now I mean I, I I nearly gonna
and it flew home because I just was like I dunno, where this is going and I'm unhappy, I don't think I felt I didn't feel like. I can do this and I had a big meeting then explain away the next day and had a great meeting and it changed everything. So
Who knows man? I mean it just comes out of nowhere, but I'm I'm more interested in the people who just somehow know how to like kick that shit and action yeah they exist yeah. Absolutely they exist yeah. There's a beautiful book called flow, then, if you've ever come across it, I forget the author's name. It's like me high.
I think it's a name. If I mess it up, everyone, please do not be mad at me. I think it's cheek sent me high. I think that's how it said me heidrick sent me either books called flow and that's where you're describing this flow state that people experience where you see freestylers rapids musicians. You know athletes artists, where
It stops, but it's really fast and no one knows what's happening like he almost feels like time slows down and speeds up at the same time had a couple of conversations in this.
we're like on the record, like light interviews situations where it's like there's been such a nice except
mood in the room, and I feel it
such a strong light
when fro going on and taste the question, the answer and then the question the answer- and it's just been- I'm like wow and then someone's was like. Okay time has been going for two hours. Unlike was like
yeah yeah? I mean you must have done it so lovely, it's really cool when it happens like that suit, because it's human experience with somebody else, so it feels really nice. I also know my social anxiety. I think I think it's it's it's
everybody. I mean I've, no promotion in a room of being around people, but this
is between being present and fitting in
what are playing a role that you think is going to serve a purpose for that environment or that potty or whatever, and just being able to be comfortable in yourself? That's what I'm talking about like I'm, not always and and very often entirely comfortable. I just
the figured out how to maintain, but there's always something in me- that's felt, like my skin's, a little bit too tight on my brain's, not really focused on what someone's asking me. And yes, I guess that's where I'm that's my form of social anxiety and yeah, and I think I find that most people at events, especially
and timid, and the arts feel that way. I don't know many people who don't feel that way aware these, let's get to hear about it, if I do yeah whether it's an award show or whether its red car bear or whenever I speak to people behind the scenes
as the number one emotion that people are experiencing in everyone's feeling it
in different ways. What do you think that is? I think it's because
the way events are organised, they're, not crafted for community and connect.
Here. So the jolly is that the way it's been bill is not set up
people to come in and field. So I went to one place that was, I went to Cannes lions last week. I'd never been to the lions festival. Before is my first time that I've been to Cannes and he was crafted.
The community like I follow, you could walk into any space. You connect to the
We could hang out with people you bumped into people working in an hour of stuff, no one
in ego where people were like, you know on a high horse, so maybe that's part of the evolutionary state. I mean we was seventy five years of that. First then, maybe we need to actually just start looking at every single micro experience, rather than like we're all going to evolve like something's going to happen, we're going to evolve as like. Maybe we are maybe it is just like right down to the smallest thing, like an event like that, we're being able to walk in the room for you to feel connected to
People like you came away with something that was meaning for notches valuable. Maybe that's dead. That's going to inspire people are due to do with multiple from places I mean. I would like that
I've gotten better. It is maintained. Yeah like when you younger, like oh, my gosh. Everything rests on this high and then, after a while, you live quicker.
at present, is that europe is use you spot on. That's exactly what it is that when you first hour
when I first moved to l a I went somewhere was like, oh my god. If I don't make this move right to the end of my career and then like years later, you're like actually it didn't affect someone as a friend of mine who was working with at the time, someone in the industry was like Zane afraid of success. When I first got to eli cause, I wasn't in sixty five parties at night running around doing everything and then yeah and my goals become very clearly that my intention is always I can.
I find one person tonight who I can bear my
while the one person I can.
fully be myself, because then, at that event, I've fully been myself. So how do you know who that person is? I know it can be changes, but as there are constants that you can get a sense, pretty quick, obviously unlikely saying it's respective to what you personally are interested in. So for me, I'm I'm hoping
but I can have a conversation like I'm having with you today, which is meaning for its part.
through its vulnerable lids, it's open its thoughtful.
It's about growth
it's about being better like that, but when, like when I walked in the house today, we met for the first time and we sort of how each other's gaze for second, it was like. Alright cool we've got this moment here like it's, it's it's more than just like transactional, like yeah. Alright, if we're going to do this, let's do this and it's starting to see where this relationship goes in the future right. It's just gonna be like good community podcast next yeah like is that like
you're a technique to how you do it, how you find people, I wouldn't say it's a technique. I think it's, moreover intuition, like I do believe it's energetic, as opposed to like ass, these
questions that other guy, like a formula
like that. But I feel like you, can you,
we tell by someone's life
wade's body, languageand em,
national languages to whether you're on the same frequency or vibration I find over.
Am I been able to to sense that
and- and I have also realised where your ego wants to force. It would someone because there's
that's no gain audit of awareness as there that's big self aware rise. You later you can tell when it's like. Oh there actually isn't a frequency, but I'm pretending there is or hoping there is or trying to manufacture it, because I think,
Let's get do something for me, or I'm
them or I feel significance because I'm being useful to them
yeah. I think those are realising that you don't want
that to someone, but also someone's trying to be that to you. Correct, is really important for anybody going into any any area of life, and it's something that I think people should try to
but that rate from a young age because will save you so much time and energy. The fact tat
it's fine to acknowledge that you're doing that to me, and I'm doing that to you, because we are in a trade. That's totally fine! Yes, great work! Great things come out of the show, but friendship is different, like
I'm really realizing how important my friendship em
and and there are multiple types of friendships or people I love to just hang out with, and sometimes some of them are. Let's talk industry where the music with they're, not the people, I'm going to call up and have a heart to heart.
the best someone else and there are others you know I know I can call out when a minute in a low point, or they can call me in
there is that I think it's just understanding that no use
will serve a purpose and if you're, in someone's life, you gotta purpose just understand trans, doubtless purposes
that's what being thoughtful with your thoughtfulness is to me like. Maybe I'm not the person to pick the phone up and check on someone's well being because that's not the kind of friend I am to that person, but they have those friends who doesn't mean I'm not there,
and correct yeah yeah we have deregulation, gives a different people in our life that that serve,
in different ways, and we seven different ways in knowing
are you do that, for someone is? Is so important?
really important. Yet that's that's a big self awareness. Listen, I think you know tell me what a figure that
I was trying to light be or things to everyone. A thing yeah followed my life, trying fix everything, be things
as be that'd be funny, be carrying the slide, sometimes just be funny or not. Try that's great, but I love that yeah. That's that's actually really powerful to think that, like I think you're so right, we want to be all of ourselves to everyone, yeah
because we're covering all the base area always is there an end? We there's that suddenly going like, we want to be concerned
funny anderson, small and is how do you manage your ego in a situation like this? Where you were you, I mean you,
at the very beginning, the number one health podcast in the world gratulation by the way like that's, that's a real thing to have a number one
if anything but have a number one in an area where you're adding value and support to people but the
nature of a number one. Anything is really that's just like you know.
Then, for the ego right, it's like number one is life by its very nature, is connected to an ego experience.
How do you continue to build around?
success but manage
what's your relationship with your ego in this environment yeats, I would say it's a constant conversation on a daily basis between my conscious self. In my ego self. I think that is something I have to be vigilant of on a daily basis because of the world we live in, and the environment were in just someone that I'd I meant,
the message me this morning and he's kind of having a real moment in his career and things are going well and he was saying defending
migos J. I don't think this is healthy. For me, like
I'm worried about my egon, as this is amazing. The fact that your even aware,
your conscious in your because ninety nine
at the time you have. This success,
It falls apart, and then you think about your ego, and so for me, I there are few things
but I do. The first thing is dad I,
is look at how I compare
add two
work. I really want to do so. The
I really want to make in the world
is not.
His downloads or views or
whatever else the numbers, it's actually I'm trying to create a journey for everyone that connects with my work from entertainment through to education through to personal enlightenment, in how they define them
and to me it's like I'm trying to create that journey by building steps that I know from the journey that I've been on the journey that I'm still on and the journey that I've learned from the great and trying to
put this building blocks in place for people Michael is unnecessary
and people walk that journey. The number is is insignia.
a cubic, but the beautiful thing is caused by the way. I'm not anti ego like no certain important great com is, as you know, this ego and aid and those two things need to be managed and in a way that is with it, with like a citizens of self awareness and understanding of what is gonna press your buttons, both positive and negative, but
What I'm interested in his like it's interesting is because you billy
thing internally from within your own vision, your own, what inspires you? It's come from this tiny little fight,
that you building into this building that helps people, but you can't help more power
for without your ego, as serving a purpose are well, yes, absolutely, and so I think
engaging here
and being aware of where the only two options you have, because I think that when you too
I am ignored that they will vote even times in my life, where I tried to suppress the disease
to do and make an impact, because you think it's ego not
I think that then it's just brewing
and now you're envious of everyone else, and that's why the word humility so interesting to me like cause recurrent humility all the time like it's a really important positive part about about makeup, and it is it's, it can be there's a time to be humble. There's no universally sort of positive humility- and these are universally-
negative ego complex these costs both them but is interesting. Isn't it like you can find yourself
Few deny your ability and what you love and your talent, and
your ambition to march. You find it
a false dave, humility, yeah? You can't help the air you want to help those who are ultimately turning its back on what should be done
me ego when it gets dangerous is when you feel better or worse than others, and so I feel like that.
difference between doing what you think you meant to do and doing it. Well then, thinking you do a better like I am friends with so many people in this space suit,
who were number one in their fields, but an end, even in a similar field, in a different way like. I know, a phenomenal
that scientists in this space, who are doing incredible,
health and wellness work and a number one in the way they do it. But it's like. I have my own version and I have my own way and method and that's what I'm excited
have an ego by guess is the idea that I'm doing what I'm doing, but it's not. I didn't like me better than someone or western some one, and I think in stressing isn't over, has grown up like in music. There isn't a night competitiveness turning to be the best and in sports
you are avoiding the highway holds, the
look you in the eye and tell you that that attitude is going
it's you to be the
as to the world right zone, so interesting, how we relate to this thing that I think we know very little about yeah, where wages, which is why I think some of the best athletes egg. I know that
cristiano Ronaldo is the biggest for one soccer star in the world. For anyone s either have been even more
It may be just a little rolling stones, beatles yeah, exactly the world is divided, might take dog feeds me christiana right now. For me, this is a complete human being now or in the u s, and so messy everyone's excited, because messi is coming to in general man and he's awesome and and my point being that whenever he does an interview I always see him say I have to think
the best in the world like. I have to think that way, you'll see
yeah and I think that's really interesting language, because he's not saying I am, or I definitely everything I have to think that way in order to perform-
at my best. So he's he's he's dividing it into a mentality. This is a reality, correct, yeah, exactly that's beautifully said yeah exactly, and I think that that's what's so fascinating that, if you sat down with
Michael Jordan nor toby ryan,
I had the pleasure of intervening or today elaborate
I'd say I'm sure they have to feel that way, but it
whether like, if they were you, know all things said and done behind closed doors.
I'm sure they have an opinion on on stuff that you can say when you retired, to that you couldn't say when you are playing, but you a manifesto out on cities, have been an accident or unintentional money
so I dont believe that I ever set out to say. Ok, I believe in that, if a station, I know how it works and I'm gonna do it aren't thing I ever heard that I have just had
This happened in my life, where I can track back when I first visualized in my mind, and then it came to fruition, but I never
intended for that to happen. So when that happened, did you ever have the intention?
to try to kind of
the moral master it or anything else we just like. I love the curiosity that I like to me to have my love. The curiosity and I loved the magic of it because that also makes me realise that its beyond me- and I like that all men in another case of the severity of it, as is its conduct, surrender of it- that I dont
I love the idea that it's happening, and it's happened in my life, so subconsciously that it also makes me reckon
as that there is more than me and I'm I'm more like you than I am like some of the other people who I know who you know are continually searching for that feeling that they can end with
Some success are getting very oh yeah. I know people who I consider to manipulate material energy like the labs they have that ability and I dont
now. I reynolds rhyme resources amassed a manifesto, I'm so sorry you cannot take rick's him
and do that unless you know how to bend energies. Absolutely very that's the point I like. I saw billion dollar telecom korea that meant yeah
and I don't think, there's a right or wrong again, like I didn't think so many folks,
manifesting in there in the sense that the way it's been packaged or market it is, is a bad thing.
It's just not the way. I can ask you another question: is it of us your question, because these are real,
essential things I want. I want what you about ambition like what your relationship is with your ambition, because you have a big. You have you've you've already built something massive and you want to continue to reach more people and
so how do you manage your ambition into something that is balanced with your life? I think it's evolved over it,
I'm. So I've always honestly said that when I first started, I was working sixteen to eighteen hour days and seven days a week.
But I never missed meditating, and that was always my grounding practice.
I'm gonna meditate annulment of what my socks off, because I
at the moment of or at least what I've heard when
we're saying that by your kids. Like I remember the first time I felt the door open and I was just like. I never believed this door to ever open like I have to be so
fully responsible for the lowest your meditation. That was, none are no. That was, although spiritually died up, and I mean like
sternly with building a platform god I got it. My way realise lie. While I have a shot, I have an opportunity to do this in a like. I was happy and content. Anyone knows me. The back, then, would verify this. I was happy in content doing what I do today for the ten people that showed up every week for ten years, and I was so happy
I didn't feel like I've is not our people are like, oh my god, I'm not like. I just felt grateful and how
that even Tenby board show up and I loved it
one point I did feel I was like. I feel this message matters. The people that are coming are having great success from it. I think it should reach more people, so I should attempt to and when I
tempted in it and it, and I had that first glimpse. Then I was like
I am so grateful and I should be responsible for this and I shouldn't take this. I should take this as a gift, and I should
give my heart and soul to it. Not just live off this
monetary union success. So for me that to me the graft was me expressing my gratitude back to the EU
Thus to say I see that you ve given literal me a short, and I feel
the only way of expressing my thanks and appreciation back to you for this
if he is to show you that I'm willing to work to make the most of the correct, so that was like a couple of years right did that as soon
I started doing then things started to grow externally. I started to realize this nor sustainable like on an energy level, and so did I
but back then, as a I'm going to get to work five days a week, so I took my weekends back. I was still working
things now, I'm at a point where I take my weekends and my evenings cause that cause that to me is like that's, that's the crucial moment where perhaps some like maturity and some life and some some distance between you.
ambition, the desire that I've gotta go and take every opportunity. I can
We were that moment in your life, really
I loved you, yes, because because that's that's the moment when I think it can consume people
yeah and relationships yet get her ends or toward get torch tent,
we chase something so far down the road that we forget. Where we wanted to go in the first place totally so yeah, that's a really great when and an eye,
for me. It was like a turning point
for you them have and at the beginning, or just like our all them. As is this, and my wife, like those are the only two things about it. I dont really have time for anything more than that
but a point by working backwards were now might ye ironwork, none of them
you ve only working nine p m to six p m and don't want evening.
Weekends can see, and now I can't take my wife
my friends in my figure in the era of no yeah,
and that you- and I think there was an error of complete yes and it has to be in those days in italy- has to be asked to be, and I dont want to lie about not like perfect
collins. You can't get to know without figuring out like where your line is in. You can figure that this you push yourself and that's what work has that's. What the working here is that, when you just growing, grant grant grant grant grant grinding and but yeah
if I'm a fan of of balance
I was talking to someone about this, the other day about ambition cause. I have friends of mine who are never going to stop, and I love them for that and they
to them to them. It's all out there and why,
They ever not grab every opportunity or explore the next thing and no number
to beg and opportunities to too far away
and I love it and have definitely been that in my own way,
at. I am reaching a point in my life, which isn't to say I'm going to turn down opportunities or I'm winning I'm winding down the semi retirement mode. I want to do my best work over the next ten years, but
wanna, do it in a way that is joy, fall and to your point, ray
My gratitude, like the number one driving force, I think, to be truly
for you need to allow of space to be grateful. I think we kicked away
gratitude around a lot. I know I've been definitely
kind of person whose, like done hundreds
things in a day and they would have had two minutes in a day. God, I'm really grateful
thank you so much for the and it's like it's not a checklist item like you got to feel it yet, and I think to do that, and I guess that's where meditation fighter I'd never been able to find the space to meditate and calm my mind down enough. I know I will I just can't force it yeah, you have a naturally
an energy, the gyroscope yeah. It's like, I would have thought you were amended here. Aren't you
I say,
do? You have died, the I wasted
I m, an bryant did meditate, but he was the most like he had the most gravity around him of any person. I've ever met like he was just like time, like things stood still when he spoke and those that
He did meditate, but I feel that you have a real like there's a there's, a peace around you, even though it's not you know it's not from that which is really beautiful.
in a hard earned peace, yeah, harder and visa there. But I think it's true like I think also you know it
We saying about the yes and no there's also a different time in life. Sometimes its scale, sometimes its speed, sometimes its strategy. Sometimes it sincerity. Sometimes it's you know like
it's. I think what you realise is that if you just go speed,
Speed speeds yea like that, is an actual you make any sense. We miss your opportunities more than you actually grab them. I think yeah, you think about like being a formula one racer, it's not speed at every turn, the alps, the master, the track.
speeds a massive part of it, but only when you need to go find only when you need to go for us like round the bend. If you just go fast as you like, none and I just gotta, be the other guy, you could potentially turnover and throw the cannot at the rate so
I love boxing so much like I've just started like like to boxing training and stuff. It's my wife bucks, the last the most fun. It's the it's, the greatest exercise ever done. I've struggled with exercise my whole life fits and starts like everybody
that's no patent, whereupon very much intended. But yet
It's just a whole other level. I love it right and the reason I love it is because, like my mum has dimension and she's in the later stages of dementia, I feel- and it's it's it's been really tough to to witness. But I've also watched hitch, sort of want to hold onto memories and
The cognitive awareness thing has become very present for me and what I love about boxing is that it's really it's it's it's one hundred per cent, mind and body, and it's about strategy, and it's about people just think you just bash
of its so not the most tiring thing I do and I'm working out boxing is the inside work. Where are your game not actually punching anything, I'm just trying to push this guy off their debts,
most exhausting thing out of any of putting the mets is like just rhythm ass. This driving far right yeah
what I mean. I think we just live in one motive like speed or or
blow. We think we think those are the only two things to play with yeah yeah and when you box or if you drive a car or whatever, maybe you still got away with this there's so many other dials to play with here, yeah yeah. So I think I'm trying to you know I've. I've realized that, and I also realize that it's the same as a hike like getting up the hill is different to staying at the top
getting down again and going deep into the valley later. It requires a different skills, and so I try- and you know,
I try and live a very disciplined life health wise in order to be able to be high performing- and I value all of that, like that,
performance world, like I value all that you have cheat days, though, do your allies have a chance to slip out of routine? Always I mean you have to like this morning was one who says I just got back off. Tour for stasi are all over the shop. No! No! No! No! I wasn't that's the thing. I I allow myself like small windows and then I go back but like this week, I haven't missed a thing
well go and
this morning I lost my adult. I told my my friends that I was gonna work. I would try, go guys, I'm sleeping in tomorrow
I'm not gonna. Be them tired. So I
woke up an hour and a half later than are usually wake up. Today was the best thing I ever did and I loved you sleep. Well,
sleep here, that's a big thing from the age you read, you that's been something you that the work through right like dirt as they have a minute I've nautical asleep. I am entirely, but you know, what's crazy in us telling a friend of mine who, in a band about this this morning, as she was like I'm just trying to kind of come down of tour and I
it listen man. Let me give you a bit of advice and analysing the work for you and I'm tellin. You like
I read somewhere something
years ago, we rick reuben yesterday
goes out. Every morning we wakes up and exposes himself
natural light. Yes, first thing he does again by himself natural light and then I
Someone else said it someone else it, and I was I I this is like too many things pointing in this direction, so
and I haven't, had a good night's sleep in a long time and so
thought it going outside and it was so
strange with such an alien experience me to stand out
in my yard, like six thirty in the morning, but in my box ashore, it's like
I feel like a weirdos, really weird and then secondary
less we're the third day felt this way, and so pretty short songs does like unama enjoy. This. Am I
been sleeping like like I wake up on. My head is just like
heavy on the pillow, and I'm just rested. I guess
Well, yeah yeah, that's akkadian, rhythms thing s, Samir geagea! It's crazy! Like yeah yeah, I know they're, all ancient practices
I know you do yoga too, and so the ancient
yoga ass. It is called the syrian amish car. So what that means is son, salutations.
and so the ancient practice was the first thing in the morning. You salute the sun right, which is that baby
engaging in and paying respects to the sun yeah, and that was the that was what was happening like yours, circadian rhythm was kicking off yeah now you're on that families, and we said we read that and we think all it's. It's only a worship to the sun. It's all worship base, but act
it can be worship based, and it can also be lifestyle related. They were figuring out how to get a good night's sleep exactly yeah. They were figuring out how to get vitality and edits as well, and that's what they were paying gratitude to this
for in your day started with gratitude, but forever
not just for being the sun
after the light, the heat, the warmth I mean for everything that it provides right. So so we have all this literature and all these these opportunities, like even this conversation to be able to just dive into all of this since and
with the people who roll their eyes and they're, probably not listening or watching and they'll, be the people who have open and absolving and ready to sort of try and make positive changes and help others further down the line, but
Where do you think we're going wrong like if the ancient species
were saluting the sun increasing.
Our ability to be able to manifest good things understood the power gratitude understood the pavel
understood what they needed in order to maintain that stuff,
five years ago, why do you
think we seem to be getting the further away from that or trying to get back to that, but we haven't actually gone on from that yeah I mean it's a big question and one place I really experienced a beautifully was when I was in hawaii.
And every morning retrial and we want the big I'll swing corner twice.
I've heard I need to ever been to a place where the the the energy, the ley lines and the oxygen coming up from the ocean. It's amazing I need to go next year and you'll have to give me all the recommendations, but I know I'm going to recommend as it's not the kind of place. The beautiful thing is it's a low, it's just pure local like go here, go here or just rent
it does get a really awesome. Little air bnb near the ocean. That's my rickenbacker! Okay, again just barefooted to the coffee store everyday! I love it anyway. Sorry, no! No! No, and so I remember in hawaii, we'd get like a kayak every morning. One of the I forget the official name of this big like canoe kayak. They have a name for it, jumped in we'd, go out there
dead pay their respects to the sunday had their own offerings, which I loved,
about that offered to the water like so what I find out where we ve gone wrong is down
we ve on land and recondition to a new way of working so hard.
so strong and for so long that on
in doing that, and
we setting our habits to be healthy, for us is the biggest
and so discipline is. Nine
percent of the challenge, and I think the problem is that, because, if you think about school,
all, which was the only thing that had the opportunity to discipline us and parenting, those are probably only too
things that you asked earlier introduction to your introduction to it at school
discipline. You always knew what you were going to do. You always knew what the next great was. You knew what the next
Loss was, he was all mapped out for you. You never actually had to discipline yourself.
when that runs our age, eighteen or twenty one. Whenever you finish school, you now
left your own devices to figure out discipline, and you never actually been taught how to build a habit. How to break
how to grow
discipline hadda, undisciplined right, you just and that's really what's missing when my wife
a single handedly coached me to better aid.
Habits,
in any one of us in my life and I had to live with every single day. You know
seven years for her to do that. For me and I'm like one of
liver there. I don't think I would be able to do these health change back to me.
Eating pizza burg. Is you know
spry or a seven obligations, my like every other day and then all of a sudden marry my wife Jesus, like you know you then, as you like, and unlike we'll wait a minute took that much coaching and guidance and steer, so I dont think anyone's
for? I think it's more that society,
he said a sop to not know how to read the book
His skill you can learn is how to build a habit and how to break a habit yeah but yeah, because because one of the best things that we're capable of doing- but we tend to use against ourselves- is the ability to absorb and translate absolutely
and its lie. I if you can manipulate that, if you know how to put things, because we really complex, grocer, quite simple turley
everything's, a routine right, everything's, a pattern. It takes one person to do something cool and we caught a sink. We we live in a singularity pretty quickly. If you know what I mean, this is like. Oh that's cool. Let's all do that yeah. We all do it yeah and so yeah. It's it's interesting! Isn't it I think you're right. We allow ourselves an end to your point about discipline. We need to have the
confidence in our own abilities and in our own determination.
be disciplined enough to do what's right for ourselves, yeah right yeah, because otherwise I think we are susceptible to the brick d. The shiny lights yeah, of course, and anything that discipline comes out to molly through going. What is it
evaluate to me goes back to where you are saying that that singularity of not have
is fragmented approach to I want to be.
yes, I want to be there for that person. I want to do that. You know it's it's well, who do I?
I care about you used to overwhelm to relic those big yapping, for you beg, did it Lee
did you ever get to the brink of burnt out in pain and that's what years? If I'd had so lately men, I have physical pain for like five years cornick, vainly
so is chronic. It was a consistent. There were consistent pain wearing the body like finger nick neck back here.
While a lot yeah a lot, a lot of pressure points and and a lot of it really was well there's a couple things going on there- there was some there was some some stuff I had to
since from one side of the brain to the other. I hadn't done so stuck in my body, so
I actually starts work better and therapy, and you did that
through therapy that J, a hundred percent yeah, my guy permit asleep once he basically broke,
down for males like twenty minutes work up in three weeks later thing started dissipate, but also I was I was
I was absorbing a lot into my body through one of the of the work and the stress and the overwork and cos
I didn't have any were asked to put it in. My body was trying to protect
me, it was, I well store it, but after a while that body gets filled up and then it starts to aiken hurtin and the pain starts to happen.
I really genuinely thought I'm just gonna live with these eggs, the so be it
the rest of my life rise, always doesn't kill me. I can live with it. Why would you want to live with pain
so I'm so glad that I was able to kind of start to unlock that a verbal release you,
the therapy. You did was traditional therapy or that it was more than just a concept that actually
in my mind in my brain I have been cut
bring it in an area where my boy
miss telling me to put it all in here and what I need to do is to us.
the space in here to put his somewhere, which has infinitely more ability,
the able process and distribute and remove and and and release. So I need to give it up,
yeah and as simplistic as that sounds it just worked. For me I mean it was a concept and perhaps it's rooted in truth, and perhaps it's not, though I'm sure there'd be people who are. We are talking about another people, who'd be like that's exactly right.
you know the way that it was it was it was explained to me- was that I had been storing it in my brain because I didn't have the ability to be able to deal with an emotionally, and so I didn't want to do so once if,
get out that didn't have anything to be afraid of just talk it through get it out, release it. Let it go, it started to transfer and the pain started disappear. That's the first time I've heard about that terrible
that's cool, but I was working through it like
working round the clock, because again
The great distraction, isn't it
Isn't going to work is a great way to spend your time, avoiding things that you don't really want to deal with, and it's also more productive. So the for hati you work, then will you achieve the more you achieve them? A taste of your okay, the way to suffer occasional dealing yeah
similarly, so, it's like, ok and then on the opposite is true, which is why, back to your argument, a balance that the opposite is true? Where you have you two idle and there's? No doubt
action and there's no pursue and there's no way. I am for sure. I guess he's got this an infinite amount of ways to do it and that's how I did it and dumb and neo this difference between work and hardened and working a working, hard right like like for me. It's like I love to work and have to work hard, but I don't have to worry.
to be working well right. I can. I,
I can do it in a way that is like you know, efficient and good for my balance,
good for my balance. My decision,
you got better mobility. A dollar
they got better. I became,
stressed out about the things I didn't have any
a reason and all
right to be stressed out about. I stopped
feeling a need to respond to every single email,
every single thing and I start to trust the process ends.
yet to ask my colleagues, but I feel like I'm the happier and better at what I do.
so yeah of on a big believer in in just because you put in the island doesn't mean your actually getting the most out of it. Absolutely absolutely you ve sat with so many of the most iconic eyes of our time and energy generation, and you know you your brilliant interview, you ask me, wasn't russians, you listen so effectively, luggage.
Fun to watch like genuinely fun to watch. Who do you feel? Was I wise, beyond their years or or like an old soul that, because most of my young, like a lot of a lot of them, are very young? Who did you find? Was kind of like you know, I find the conversations that
leave me most inspired and.
feeling like something in my life has changed and I've I've learned something new tend to come from the people who raised a point in their life where
do not try to sell something anymore, and then I have to do this
is there's some value in the conversation and pepsi looking for learning themselves. The truth is
more often than not. I find elements of that in everybody, because I'm not
a squeeze juice out of the lemon
I am genuinely not trying to sell anything at this point in my life. I love me
so it's easy for me to talk about it and to say it's great enter back and forth about it, but I don't feel any need and
don't feel. Does any requirement for me at this point. In my life.
To try to sell anything when I go
The conversation does as your question because
No one immediately springs to mind because I think I'm I'm not I'm not,
sting in a hierarchy, anymore, yeah, that's view once I'm not I'm not thinking
this person surprise me, or this person was not charming, dispersed
was wise beyond the years. If you ask me that fight
years ago I could have given you a nice idea of lunch. I loved, but
I'm trying to go into every conversation, whether its though your new young billy
I assure you, whatever I'm just trying to
and so a conversation from a position dislike us of
what is the most interesting and human experience tat. I
and have an eye remove as much of the cell ass. I can, and I tried again to a place with people where I don't really have questions anymore
and I don't really go in with a high without with it with a framework anymore. I just
I feel the music retain how
makes me feel and just get to that as much that feeling as I can in the conversation, and so
Everyone is surprising.
and everyone catches me off guard
their observations, because I'm not going in with any prior observations or any kind of premeditated framework. Yeah, I'm not,
I'm going. I think I know what you like.
And I will say that the one only time I've ever had a proper like long from conversation with justin bieber change. That's what changed it to me.
Because I thought I was gonna get
Conversation focused on an album that serve the purpose.
The label on the management and the oddest wanted to save and serve the purpose that apple music wondered safe and I would get something out of it too, and that conversation became something very different very quickly, and I
realized that he wasn't interested really in selling anything either on that day, and that was the moment that I learned how to listen and stopped trying to control the narrative and gave myself the the space to go with it and not panic. It's just a moment. It's just people, yeah stay prison, listen, observe of trying to figure it out. So from that point forward, everybody that I've spoken to really I get there
Everyone in some way shape of the air that up with that makes it makes so much sense makes beyond. Since I love I ever every time, I have a conversation with a non before that I would come in so many different.
Ethics of you, no questions and orders in this and that an expectations and what not you know if you ever get a chance to sit. If you have an already opposite new young, you can not go into it with that
He has no interest site. This is,
all that matters,
If you think you're gonna be able to sort of carve out some shape with him, then he says: can we light? Look man like it's? Not what I'm here for not interested in it.
So I really like this yay yay. I love that. Thank you for saying that I dunno what to do with the old method anymore. I used to have one. I just don't know what to do
yeah I mean on, and I found myself fully autonomous of falling, otherwise, because I'm worried and accounts stick to it,
I think you need to know is in the answer right, every christian, you need, you have a structure when you're untrained and when you trained its continent,
containers. It's like. I just wasn't listening jive yeah, I was just going to figure it out before even happened, guiding, which is very in line with who I was and who have been unhappy. My train to, I think, sometimes rightly yeah just tariff
in a very anxious person. I got to know the you know. My therapist always says you know. Anxiety is based on not knowing the outcome right, you're, scared of what the outcomes going to be, and so you know
well I need to prepare for every outcome and at the end of the day, what I really need to do is just stop and listen, and it will be what it will be. Then this has been such a special, honest, open conversation, I've loved every bit of
and ass. We end everyone both his interview, the first five. So these are questions we do ask everyone at every question is
beyond said, with one word to one sentence. Maximum said short answers says a lot easier,
was five, the first two they change every time. No okay, they stay based. Four out of five stay. Exactly the same, okay hit me I'll, get to that.
I have a question which reversed everyone who's ever been in the show is: what is the best advice, you've ever heard or received a b, a soft cause? Everyone else has taken nice. Second question: what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received eat that it's not
at heart that question and the hot ones at me.
the hotlines call me. My kids want every respect me, and so I'm on that show yeah. I love that question
the three. What is
the one thing that if you'd want
it's children to remember every day. What would it be? You are loved and you can love love that question of before. What's something you're trying to unlearn right now that I don't have to wash my hands every time, I touch a surface and I don't have to check the taps, I'm always trying to unlearn meiosis decompositions. How does that affect life? Is that it's because been my life for so long that I think the most frustrating thing is I'm just I I'm used to it. That's what frustrates me the most, if I
stop and take a step back and realise and actually try to have stepped back for myself and realise what I'm doing what I must look like, not that I am ashamed of it or that I worry about whether people think of it. Just for my own sense of awareness, I get theory frustrated.
And really try to tell myself like. If you don't do this routine. The world is not going to end and- and I have varying degrees of success and that's hard, but I'm always trying to unlearn at fifth and final question that we ask every guest on the show. If you could create one laugh
there ever in the world had to follow. What would it be that we would allow ourselves the privilege of listening to each other before we act, and we will do our best to understand. There are many points of view in the level of understanding and, ultimately that knowledge would allow us to come together to fix them.
And not keep breaking things so needed. Then low everyone. If you ve been listening or watching wherever you are with you walking a dog with EU cooking driving our wedding
we're at home whether you're at work, wherever you are. Thank you so much for listening and tuning. In of that, you tag me insane with the things that you love the things you're going to talk about this week because of this podcast, the things you're gonna share with your friends and your family that resonated strongly with you. Please tag us both on twitter on instagram on Tik tok. On any platform you use, sharing your favorite clips. I love seeing what connects with you all and have these conversations connected with you all as it has with me. So thanks for listening and saying, thank you for your generous time and energy and presence and
be grateful that we got to listen and connect with each other today. So thank you so much sanjay. Thank you. Thank you. If you loved this episode, you will enjoy my conversation with Meghan trainor, on breaking generational trauma and how
confident from the inside out my day,
was told me stand in the mirror naked for five minutes. It was already tough for me to love my body, but after the c section scar, with all the stretch marks now, I'm looking at myself like I've been hacked but day three. When I did it, I was like you know what her thighs are cute:
gave? This is something that I've been waiting for, and you absolutely going to love it. My wife, RI these book joyful is
Plunging on February twenty seventh, I'm so excited for book ever to be in your hands and be in your home and fill it with joy to go
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check it out free order right now get your free video unwillingness guide, you're, gonna love! It.
The streets, though its part, as is tat. We are combining hip hop lyrics imposed from some of the greatest ever grace in my phone, it's alive for Lauren hill and she says, don't be a hard rock. When you really are
the ancient wisdom from some of the greatest philosophers of all time. Seneca ripe- and he says your mind- will take shape of what you frequently hold in thought for the human spirit is colored by such impression: listen to season two of the streets, podcast on the radio, app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts
Transcript generated on 2023-11-09.