Bill rambles about Scotland, packing and squeeze box players.
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey, what's goin on its billboard in time for the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday Monday morning, podcasting just checking it on you
nine twenty five p m here. This is a really weird part Castle, Mimi taping this on my Iphone,
Probably gonna do half of it
and then I'm gonna head out my last night in Scotland. I.
My last night discordant fuckin blast, but I get Time Aunt Jesus Christ, after spending three fucking days in Scotland, Scotland, bob-
Go bipolar world
Third bollworm.
I fucking, I just wanna be dry. It is just reigned essentially nonstop in Geneva, the fucking decency users, rain has just been so. We just fuckin spitten in your face.
And I finally was talking to this cab driver on the way over and you just goin.
It doesn't always rain
During the summer over here.
Because a summer there's no somewhere in Scotland
Someone scorpions you gotta Turkey, Greece or Spain,
or some shit like that, just basically saying I guess the sun never fucking shines here.
You know. Is it any wonder why everybody so goddamn funny up here.
I admit I had such great chosen one another really weird venue.
I don't even know what the fuck was. It took me like to my third show to realize it was a gymnasium. I finally saw backbone like a basketball rim
with the glass and was a sort of cranked up against the ceiling.
And.
I don't I just really like
Is where was I totally fucking bizarre, but some of the best shows I've had on the Torah just really had a great time scottish people fuckin hilarious. So we want people yelled out half the time. They said she it funny. You know what I was talking about.
What are you trying to pack up here?
pack perfectly on this fuckin tour.
I absolutely fuckin crushed it,
All I have I'm going to be over in your tier four hundred and twenty three fucking days. I have a little bit. She has stewardess little wheelie thing and a backpack, and that's it
you know why, because I fucking travelled and I've done nothing. Will you bring like fuckin five pairs, a t, shirts, three different fuck and work out. Things swept hands? Oh, oh! What? If what? If we go ballroom dancing? What if another night we go to a bullfight, you know what it for some reason: we do some jousting right, any just pack, every stupid, ass, fuckin thing. You know what happens you like five days, India, fuckin trip, and you realize that give one the same t shirt every single day and you know what knowing gives a shit.
And there's nothing worse than is because then you start buying should over there there's no fuckin room and you just look at all these fuckin t shirts and all these sweat pants and these stupid fancy hats, whatever the fuck. It is you're into that you brought and you never wore. I asked
still pack.
Too much shit desert desert.
I got. Two great t- shirt I've yet to use them.
Yet have to fucking use
No one knows well, you know what gives a shit you think someone's gonna walk by. You know, you know what by someone they said, fuck and tourist.
Came by yesterday wearing the same teacher
It's not high school
nobody knows who the fuck? You are
Anybody can blow anybody away
so yeah
said I packed like an absolute champ and now.
Now, I'm home, I'm going to the motherland. Now I'm going to Germany, where I've never really done a background check on me, but I just looked at the little bit of the family triggered allow german last names
in the tree, so I know I got
a significant amount.
A fucking Germans. Let me do I gotta give it up to the Scots you know, but a country should go to their money. Just looks Facon stupid. The fucking Scots got great currency. These coins actually seem like they're worth something they gotta wait too long,
You know they got some good designs on.
Plus, it always helps people from Scotland talk like the pirate Tina.
Just gives out of some sort of level of like
credibility to anything at the fork insane
I'm sure the audiovisual fucked up and literally packing right now, I'm talking we'll try to knock half of this
before I get out of here, but
tonight. I actually had my first night off.
You know in ten days I did thirteen shows in the last ten days
And I was doing it least an hour and a half every night for the most part said the first show here
They told me only doing our but after that, every autumn, when I try to do like a buck fifteen, so I've done.
I don't know somewhere between twenty three and twenty five hours, a stand up and was really nice to have a day off.
Bud.
I ass. She went out tonight and I saw the great Tommy German.
This place called the gilded balloon
and he's an absolute legend in Ireland, Irish guy Absolute legend there,
Also Ireland also fog, fucking, great Britain.
And into Europe, and it was great man was found to be an audience mama just sitting there watching an absolute master up. There
storyteller and all that stuff now so cool an arm.
I just got to hang on joint your fuckin socks.
The number one fucking thing that I cannot stand about going to alive
to anything when you gotta have these rows of chairs
I just got this perfect c in the back right
no problem. Just like one row behind me, I deliberately sat in the back. You know cuz. I want to get the whole thing. I want to watch him. Do his thing. I want to see the crowd react. I want to see you know. I just want to take the whole thing and write
and
I'm citizens right before the fuckin show starts
Just like every time you go to a movie like all, thank God. No one around talking is talking right and then the fuckin loud can't comes walkin in wait before the lights go down, to show the coming attractions right
same thing happened.
Their Tommy show everything was great. I'm sure now.
And then I never really got a good look at this guy, but this guy just sounded like the biggest mouth breathing moron. Ever he sounded like his diet was horrible. They just drank in both use like having problems just breathing and then, when he laughed, you could just sounded just tell he was dumb
he just written a guy,
Let me go,
the whole fucking time and then, when you, if you would entail
too much like the then he would cough, and I would feel the wind on the back of my neck, like every thirty fourth cough. So now, I'm totally like leaned forward Casinos Tommy show it's fuckin sold out.
And I got a lean forward like I don't know what my complaint catch or some shit, and then I got a kind of look up, so my neck is fuckin. Kill me. I can't leaned back and the guy.
It took every
Every skill that I have a blocking people out, which my skills are terrible to try to make this guy not ruin the show. Fortunately, Tommy was so fucking funny. I was still able to
Enjoy it, but the guy behind me was so annoying me that, even when he would laugh because he had such a dumb laugh, unlike us eating fuckin get what time it was saying, no to fuckin brilliant funny said they got that
for an hour.
A mill. Blank voice
Which way you, the Gulf, that's what it reminded me of the still fuckin recording or they turn off
I could live, not don't like seven minutes of it is a very.
Very important, man turned right now
Is the Tino sensation
from the opening Anthony programme, and I got to go to a local bar. Have a couple of Perillus with them, see how his festival went
wherein my action slacks that I bought
I know they're not literally called action slacks, but I don't give a shit. These things are.
You know any time you have on pants that look like they could go with the suit, but you could also do yoga in those are focused action slacks. I don't care how cool they make em now you know I don't care what NBA player Fuckin dances around with them. They would all the tricks with the ball with and hits a fuckin three points
forget it makes to mix these things.
Is the one that has the h on it.
The Mccormick, what do they call it
under armor
resource running about asking for this shit, so anyways
Thank you to Scotland thank to the french vessel on everybody. Then there came out
Thank you get everybody in Amsterdam Data when Amsterdam, you think I do
the parking on yeah did all
Also forgot to mention, I went up to.
I went up to see today.
Which is this hike.
Where you get out three and sixty degrees view panoramic view,
Of farm amber,
and over the foggiest bosses Satan s was a burger. Evidently
the locals, get annoyed and
a clear day, which I don't know that even have here.
You can. You can see all the way to Glasgow which perform their a couple of times,
so
I went over then I was gonna meet fucking into Rosa,
in irish fear. But you know
I couldn't figure out where the fuck they were having. Of course it was raining so just like, I just meet you guys up top.
Because it's like all these different ways in and I climb
this fuckin thing. It's hilarious does just no signs
Telling you where to go, it's a giant, fuckin thing! It's just! If you find it, you find it. They don't give a fuck
half of it was this. These rocks. These lava rocks that I swear to God, any one of them any one of them. If you slipped and fell
If you hadn't, you shattered your elbow or fractured you're fucking Skull, there was no railings. There was no signs watch your step. It was just like a man, you know just keep walking up the hill, eventually you'll get to the highest one, and you know where the fuck is supposed to go. There's a bunch of tourist like as it out this way,
Her did. Did we go the wrong way? You know and.
It was fuckin pouring down raining.
Nobody gives gave a shit. No concern of a law suit was found.
Like reminded me when I was a kid, my pigmented right before everybody gets so happy in my country.
I'm not getting all the way up to the top, and I you know I don't have a raincoat, because I'm a man
or a person who say that, yes, if I was a real manner, would have bought. One would address the fact that you need a code for when it rains specifically a raincoat, but I've never been able to get myself one,
because they just always at an hour. I just.
I just member is a kid. If you had a fuckin raincoat class like third grade aegis it just
It can do you, could you please beat the shit out of me.
No one had a fuckin raincoat right, you didn't you just fuckin. I still bit about their put your shoulders up. That was it right, so
I was up there with this. I don't know.
I don't know what the material was body it. It fucking totally lost the battle with water and I got all the way up to the top.
And of course the wind is weapon around and I'm waitin for area not arose at a sharp and whatever side of the fucking hell. They were coming up, but you know
I was thinking like all right.
Our is in good shape. You know, I know he's done some Mme stuff, I don't think he's gonna be the problem. I don't think he's the ease, the wheel, that's slow and that wagon down, I know, was too Rosa
Bobby fucking making. That facie always makes- and I was just stand up day- I gave em like five minutes and I was just like fought this. I don't see them anywhere else.
Ended up? Walking down, went this different way
and I had unlike new balance sneakers, you know the steed job ones, which our people we get me shit go and you don't. You know those are old white guy sneakers like s an l did I did a whole sketch
talking about how those old white guy sneakers and it's like. Well, I'm an old wake up
I will where these snickers, they were not good for the slippery lover rocks or whatever the fuck there,
a born
Arthur seat under this fuckin kind was coming down behind me and he had like the climate boots on in shit. He's a breathing down my neck, and I was still in the same kind of stress. I feel any time I go out the play around a gulf which I never ducas. I hate that sport and one of the things I hate the most about it is the stress of the people, behind you thereof,
better than you, and you just feel like a fuckin asshole like you're holding them up. I always tell people to play through whose that exact same level living anxiety.
Dad. You just gotta, throw in the fact that you could possibly fracture your skull.
Finally, the guy go round me and it was. It was
definitely overly Fang or secondary. I gotta text arose and let him know then I'm gonna meet
that borrowing.
So anyways I made it down without hurt myself, and I was already like.
Had news voice in my head thinking like if I fall down, I'm fuckin
break my elbows, some shit, I'm never going to hear the endless. Could she told me not to do it?
she's like even work into hard yeah. You know you got a cold.
You're you're being an idiot dont go up there, you gonna, fall down and blob of blood is just like. We stop fucking jinx in me.
You ever hear you attract what you fear. That's what you're doing right now. Fuck leave me alone
Anna.
So, of course, I don't listen to this
Think about being a merry guy, you can't listen to your wife, because when you do this a party and dies inside you know
And then, when is up happening is then you lose your spirit in the lightning awry goes up and after the fuckin person
Blew it out.
That person actually has the nerve to then look at you
And an in in like not like you anymore,
because they look at you like you quit.
Fucking nuts, not an off that's true border.
I just said it so I'm gonna go with it. I think that that's what they do like subconsciously.
I would say that anyways
Thank you for all the tweets by the way the fellow superstar lovers out there. Their enjoyed.
Those clips I sent you of those fucking insane cars.
TAT, the the saudi Arabian.
Kids in their twenties.
Fly over in the London.
Do you know I was thinking about the two days, no fuckin, where you can fly a Lamborghini from Saudi Arabia to London for twenty Grand there's, no fucking way.
There's no fuckin way unless
Well, maybe this is what it is, maybe because the whole fuckin thing is filled up and they charging everybody. Twenty grand that you get.
The discount price.
I'm just go and buy. You know.
Even if you re a decent, fucking car right sure and such is still by analogy, but if you rent a decent fuckin car right, how much money they cost you.
To just fuckin rented for, like the weak.
It's a bad analogy. I just I know, there's no fuckin way, there's no way their owing to charge you twenty grand. I would
but the fuel alone, the fuckin feel alone
Do you know what I fly.
My rent, a helicopter, cost me three hundred bucks
to read the helicopters. Why don't do that off? It's not a fucking cheaply and I'm just fuckin ghetto gonna fly for an hour.
These guys are flying at all. If there's no fuck awaits twenty grip.
Do you really think the arrogant level that I have that? I actually think that I know what it costs to fly. Lamborghini from the Middle EAST, too great
How would I possibly not I've? No fucking idea, but
in those kids zipping around those cars. Maybe I go on you too, but I was watching a ton eclipse.
Uh.
You know those cars versus each other. All these tests in know test drives and reviews in all
I gotta tell you something: man is a lot of fuckin jerk off.
Dear, that have these fork. Cars.
There is one kid it's just like I mean you would think that this guy was in the like some comecon shit
Asia Psych, you know you will stop you too. You know that we have that deserving worse when you just want to find the clip, and then you get sucked into somebody's fuckin stupid tv show on Youtube
Ok guys. So here's the deal this guy has a labour guinea. It's like, I know, you're fuckin, can't I don't need you to tell me about it. Somebody told me about it, which is why I'm on your looking for this shit- sorry not yet aware, usually do that just the people next to have a little kid.
Some not to screen too loud here.
That's my number one fuckin thing I cannot say anything else about Youtube. I fucking love
You know, but I hate how they had that like it'll, be like
like whenever you want to fuck and watch like whatever the latest thing was awaited thing that happened I'll, say that swimmer there right
the bomb head guy right with the fucking.
You know that twenty four body there right
He was given that guy to deaths there I saw a clip. It's like someone so give someone saw the falcon deaths there. So
What do you think I want to watch.
I want to see this guy give the guided deaths there in every fuckin thing. I had a new to him who saw beauty to ok. So is real. No, the swimmers act out swimming in the trying to be all like fuckin, interesting step and towards the camera and come back. It's just like you, fuckin mano, Browed cunt. To show me the fucking clip you know:
And it was the worst thing is, is once the clips out there then every comes out. There then has to do some fucking remix of it, and they think it's going to be fucking hilarious and some of them are but ninety percent of a mistake. You know.
I guess you, you never see the remit of the other tourist syndrome. Guy who told you didn't have to rats, he would just acting, but you still funny
So we sent me that one on Facebook TAT one was for me I'll, say that I enjoyed that one.
So I from little fucking commodity in Africa.
This weathers really really get to me so.
I don't know what to expect.
Tomorrow, when I go to Germany, but I'm going to Cologne, Germany now
Munich, not Berlin ambition.
We go into the Worcester Massachusetts
of Germany. As far as I can tell you don't owe me psychic.
Wanna California,
you're not going to away.
I'm going to San Francisco.
I feel like I'm going to the Sacramento of
many. I have no fucking idea
but this is what I do, I'm not gonna. Look it up.
I'm not go. Look at the pictures and market do. I think, I'm just gonna shit on them and then
Tomorrow I'll start my show of probably getting hackles,
People going actually were number one and commerce.
This is some of the most expensive real estate in the country.
I just can't imagine also fuckin credible is after I do Cologne drive over to Antwerp Bell
And as far as I know, I'm will be passing through with a battle of the bulge. Was
And now in world war, two.
It's like that's it
I don't like it's. Two people live over there. I don't know if they, if they do weight of where they live, really had some just cuz they're there. You know what I mean.
It's kind like here in Scotland, is all these fuckin towards the shops. We can buy a fucking killed anyone
a pledge shit, you know, but if you, if you look at the people who live here, none of unaware that shit yeah
the two: whatever you known for.
Yet this sick of it I've been going around here, trying to get authentic, fucking scottish cuisine and I've dismal goddamned places they get italian. You can get falafel like
anything but scottish food they like do. We grew up on this shit. We don't want to eat it a k and I don't want to dress up wherein that shit unless complain of fuckin bagpipe, or do
a goddamn bell, Gibson movie.
The greater of that's fucking trooper,
Look what what do you want from me.
I got to countries like twenty minutes and then I form opinions with without reading. Should you not what I do? It's the charm of my podcast, I like to think
where we at what time is it nine hundred and forty seven I got I got to go, I got to go meet to Rosa all right.
Going to head out. If I get back in a reasonable time, I will do the last nine minutes of this. I don't know why. I have to tell you that, because I'm just going to hit stop
And then I just send of splicing them together
the other it all right so I'll be back put the magic of technology. I will be back in like
seconds. God knows what state of mind Albion.
Right. I'm back here we're the magic of tat
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Hey so I went out last night, I had a couple two three for five hundred and fourteen drinks last night and I was wearing my action slacks there and I got to tell you. I know this sounds like more advertising, but
big Fuckin
try to knock the head off my beer, which I thought I did.
And then I looked down and Atlanta landed right on my leg,
I wanna shit. It's gonna stay! I why?
Often, like literally, nothing happened, it's totally fine,
they like the greatest pocket? Pants I've ever had my life, but I look like
complete asshole both with them. You know, but you know it's not. Our life is.
Isn't there always a price to pay?
so this is it. This is my last fuckin few
I was here in Scotland.
And
I got a better time, but I am fucking ready to get out of this gloom and fucking doom,
God Damn place holy shit. I mean
feels like March.
It's August and just feels like Mars, cold. It's fucking rainy, its overcast. We took up
a great bars! Last night s face
de Rossa draws us he's such a Fuckin animal Europe.
Let's go to the festival, Fuckin born of why the fuck would you want to go to the comedy festival thing? We were there last night, the servant, Genesis, scotch and plastic cups. You don't
I have a little better respect for yourself. Can we please go to a place that has had a glass
We ended up finding some bar.
Whose greatly to squeeze come walkin enemies. These two guys sitting down
was playing the guitar, the other guys plainly accordion their singing. All these fuckin songs, tremendous right.
This what kills me.
Apologize will make it all you guys. I don't really apologizes Fuckin fucking podcast for free, so don't give a shit. This is what kills me.
I am certain at the bar and after about fucking a half hour, I file look over the fucking
who were with the guitar any accordion.
I look over now. There's a woman sitting there she's playing the fiddle
and some other guy sit down there and he's playing the aquarium.
I mean what are the odds of that. What are the the odds.
That you're gonna walk into a bar and there's somebody that that has not only has an accordion knows how to play it.
A half hour later. Somebody else comes in
you can just hand off to him like it's a fucking guitar.
What is it a fuckin squeeze box festival over here? I've never seen that my life dear me, fuckin bars. I've gone to. I don't either, but it's a lot
I've never seen anybody plain accordingly. In a bar in my life I kinda Scotland. I write
It's fuckin guys playing the shit out of it and then, when I look over to go see the advantage when a fucking, you know squeeze box
Don't play in its somebody else, but that it
it may be called up his friend right.
And you know how plumbers no other plumbers right.
Hairdressers hang out with hairdressers. Maybe according plays hang out with each other. I don't know
weird thing right: do you think.
Serial killer, so that's that's, one is very rare. They don't hang out with each other. This is a quite.
Unspoken, respect that they have with each other as they
they're on death row. You know.
I wonder. If that's a regret,
You know. I should a hug out more with most complete bucket sociopath.
If I do it all over again, you know I would have been part of a serial killer team
of shared those members with people. Second, that was really.
I apologise
I think I gave you my half hour. Yes, there we go okay, so.
Thank you for listening now, my way to Germany,
very excited, never been there before, and I was just.
I can do fundamental played some gigs over. There said they're, always fucking great crowds which make
since you know they make sense of it
the great crowds you know they gotta make up for Europe.
We gonna make up for you to start a couple, a world wars right
poor bastard, I'm gonna give them shutting.
I'm just she be like you know you,
Guys all your contributions, the chief
you know for body or taped to some of the grace automobiles
people, have ever seen and assist it's just a goddamn. Shame that no one
we're gonna think about first because
picked one wrong guy, that's all
didn't Germany, they just depict one wrong. Guy Eddie
just turned out to be the biggest
fuck him lunatic.
In modern history. Somebody had to pick up. You know
does it think to its trump is doing what he's doing people like people. Try compare trumped Hitler. You told me that make me fuck him.
Is nowhere near and Hitler's league eyes.
Hitler used to crush those speeches. Donald Trump is just rob.
Bomblets. Stumbled uremic is
campaign is just like a fuckin hale married
up in the air and everybody's got knocked down knock down right.
What happened earlier goes up and he tries to catch the fuckin thing and someone slaps it out in his hand and lend its Adam
landed in Hillary Clinton, spoken cleavage, analyses
the two clouds we gotta look at
it's a rough one go fuck yourself have a wonderful weekend. You kids,
again on you.
The Czech anyone you know I'll talk to your money, that's what I'm trying to say.
Kill me a man. You must have heard me say what you can do, what you want, but you see me come on you better where you want as sex, they were Georgia Sammy, where they would give him. No webcam site is only lays down man, quick man about that way, sex. They.
What's going on it's bad, it's the Monday morning, podcast
for Monday August eleven,
this week. I am going
to be at the improv in my
we Florida.
August for teeth. It's Thursday,
who Sunday August seventeen
in one of those days. I'm going to Florida, Marlins game
The mines as they say
in Boston.
That is the last professionals. Baseball team friend
Shows that I need to see that I have seen all of them
and something that it out as I've been on the road over the years. That always want to go to every baseball stay.
I will never complicate this week and got it admit, make kind of an empty, failing
You know me because it's not the goal of a journey,
It is really is the fact that I went up all of them by myself. I think that's what it has
there was actually the less third
Are you going with other people, but I have picture
of me, and
of every major sports stadium that you can think of God, dammit daddy
or doesn't exist anymore because they torn down so many of them. Since I've been on the road
like a certain level of OECD. Where I get
It's not like. I open and close a fucking door. Fifty eight times, as you know,
We have two hundred by our numbers, the jacket
some four hundred and one by our numbers here
that kind of shit I just have like. I
for about a month and a half
and when I get into it, I just get psycho into it.
It lasts forever,
a month and a half, and then I just
don't give a shit about it anymore and
explains why I'm unable Spain relationship for my life.
That's about the story but know something
but I did what I went on the road because going on
Road safety, but I remember as a kid, but I used
What's before there was ever even Sportscenter? Let's go back here, go back
in the day for all you youngsters out there,
Who enjoy you know five or six stiff
twenty four hour?
what's channels.
Back in the day. They didn't have shit like that. Sport
come on. You get the local sports guy. In my neck of the woods it was Bob LA and the guy.
What come on. You don't see. Six o clock news.
He would come on at about six thirty, six, thirty five and if he were lucky you'd get six seven minutes a sports.
You don't mean and Nettie the know, whatever the greatest play around the league. Was you get that
and then maybe you get whatever you're really close. His rival was doing, but it was very quick.
Was very local, was definitely just most
about your dream and how your team-
incidentally, the overall scheme stuff-
But I remember you to watch this week in baseball used to come on once a week with,
Male Alan
as a fellow like bad done, tat Bob Bob Bob
I'd be sit: nematode, jammies, watching them
I can show you. I get chills sport.
A bigger than light back. Think there was a little kid and they
You didn't come on all the time. You don't owe me,
back in the day, many Ramirez went from the Fuckin red Sox did the Dodgers. That would be.
It being the paper for a day or two, maybe locally
but around the whole legal, be they once did just being beaches the blurred
Like slugger me, Ramirez
attention later Darwin, always simply they would have been.
Hoping that would be if they would be up his ass every five seconds measure in the length of his dread locked away. They do now
so
You think so I was a kid I always wanted to go to work. I used to think about how coup d to go to bed
And stadium, so when I went on the road it dawned on me one day, I don't wanna fuck. I was that they will.
In Seattle? I was like you know what the fuck and king, though the fuckin king dough,.
Seattle mare in Seattle, Seahawks dead.
Guy who paints his head like the helmet that fuckin
He is right down the street and I would just the if.
At times I would go to a game,
and
started doing then. I just started schedule in my road gigs around. This is how my OECD kick their nose like you know what I'd like to go.
The great baseball stadiums started up
about a fuck em. You know Fenway, which have learnt from Yankee State
Wrigley Camden Yards Bob above a bar, and then it became.
I'm going, go
I do love area right and in my elsie
It was like
like other all the football. Then it became all a hockey. Then it became I'm going
the girl, the every fuckin
stadium in all
professional sports. Ok,
I'll, be on the plane, like rain man,
down and was little cocktail napkins that you get from the stewardesses right
I would be writing down how many I had in which divisions lights like a fucking psycho and was summed it up
We appeal to my brain and made the flight go by quicker.
So long story short
I believe I used to know the ship, because I gotta stop, give it a fuck you I was when I went to a golden stay warriors gave by myself when they saw
and I was holding their free go warriors sign.
What I knew right then- and there I think I have a picture my website to billboard outcome
I think I wrote I deleted something about that's what I realise that I had a problem or I was sick.
Blood,
a hundred and twenty two teams are subject to my added a few, since I last did the re method,
but I have been too
like eighty five.
Eighty five fucking believe that by myself for the most part,
Like seventy to those, I went by myself
and this is the way
baseball want and then I can basically check baseball off other than a few new stadiums that
That they made him into the new Philly one ever been to the new pod, raise one
but other than that happened, all of which is pretty fuckin cool,
but also pathetic and sat on some level blood.
I really just forgot. My whole fuckin traded thought. There was such a
goddamn story
So, let's get out with this second about a mile Marlins one and it's gonna, be it
they gave him
back in Miami subtle, be like nine zillion degrees out
and we can all be done with Facebook.
Then you know I am not going to know what the fuck do with myself. That's the empty fail.
I didn't know what to do with myself. When I go on the road,
and it's a sober tat. What the fuck am I gonna do? What do I do it kill a day
Museum
something this would actually be fuckin interesting advice. They took pictures of all this shit. I can make a great copy book coffee table book about the
This shit, I've done by myself
space needle. I grew up
So I did I yes, I did. I went up that by myself in a multinational soon a college cake with Ben Bailey.
I wouldn't go up in it. He did
let me take a picture of what that thing. In the background, I think right
Jesus Christ out this is this package is really
pressing the shit out of me.
Some good memories
We think it right. Not your baseball fatty cry like there will be a favorite fuckin state of best when I went to was the old Tiger Stadium,
that are protected when around the entire. The
your field, and I remember I went to a game
we gave against the pirates and it was dusk
and it literally, I don't know why it look like it was one thousand nine hundred and seven when you were in there and you literally thought Ty Cobb.
Would come running out on the field scream
bunch of racist shit or whatever the fuck they say about
the high drinkin racist,
Hate sharpness, spikes and crime,
that that guys in the Hall of Fame and PETE Roses- and although I understand and on a level, you don't owe me.
Because what he rose did actually, I would say, affected.
The entire integrity of the game. You gotta brought everybody down, but.
The bottom line is Emily. Despite the rough who mob ties in the Fuckin NBA
and there
they're watching hoop and people?
though gamble on it, you know why, because we have fucking nothing better to do it with a long as fuckin story, I hope, was remotely interesting but get onto the pod cas questions here.
Question number one bill. If you need me LISA some brutal questions this week. By the way, I think all this
Official ones are over and you guys are going from marrow, sell the city's fuck questions
I have do to my page. Ok,.
If you are new to my page, you know, if you haven't got over too, were to you know what I.
Do anybody else feel like when you are my space like you're you're, even
Failing restaurant me, I thought I feel like
staring cross them all the newer, shiny or one. You know
I got my apron around my waist.
My wife,
Missy wife comes up to me just gone, it's ok,
come back here,
we ve been there before we begin to. I love you. I love you.
God, damn car through that improved
it's. Ok, questionable and impunity
whose between losing your ability to perform, stand up. Slash being funny,
meaning you'll never perform again, never be on rate. A radio show this.
And took radio out of the picture and
to go to work in a normal job in quotes
The ability to get an erection, what would you pick two
Christ. Do you ended my life on both of em, but.
After a long, painful thought.
I had to go.
But even when I take my life is over, it's gonna ruin the enjoyment of the other day in order me like if you like it
still get an erection? Now, I'm just not committed any more than them.
Did you say I have to go work, a normal job for small dude due to stand up for sixteen years, it's kind of a huge gap,
They haven't you resume,
I have a communication degree and you taken my ability to do radio off the fucking table. So
basically.
My option: if the go watch dishes in a restaurant and try to fuck every waiters who works there are
continue living my dream as a committed, you know what I'd have to.
I'd have to choose losing the ability to get an erection.
Can I take my, I grew up.
Don't take an erection. I know he was real happy when that she came out
This is a cheating now
Because you know what I have a chance to make my
as a committee, because it something really good at my- can actually somehow work. My way up the ladder
ITALY feel like I achieve something.
In there.
We wonder why you're going to the day the pussy
fuckin all time, pussy gettin guys in a word. I do at this point.
You know I mean Jesus.
Price: you you're an asshole, liberal, dagger and ass. All the great fuckin question.
Jesus Christ, what I'd be funny if I couldn't talk anymore.
Holy shit, the pent up energy
Have you like, eighty years old, still children around, like fuckin Brian Regan, maybe lad and how he does it, in other words
Fire pocket did I couldn't I am able, but that there was forty about that
The question of the two
How
get that if one last time, let's see, if you do this time around most humiliating medical experience, what do you think jockey, which are a colony copy? However? The fuck? He said,
call on us to be without a doubt. You don't owe me.
Jacket, I believe that's over the counter.
Suddenly walked down the aisle at the Pharmacy and act like you looking for diet, coke,
It is not right. Next athletes, foot
what down the ici I'll
happen. If you put the athlete foot stuff.
Your what is jackets jack? It's basically with me. So
Basel II, no change your underwear, personal web boxers. Ok,.
Creates a little more ventilation
everything is discussed back. That's fucking gross Jesus Christ
Paypal question when disgusting one are,
yeah. I want to do that. I don't know
I want to do that
about will be able to figure out a way the to look in your ass. Without going in your ass, I'm all
for that have seen
stories on the news about it. Now
entering my ass.
Ok, I don't give a shit. If you get the fuck,
code on a rainy night crap,
I'm not doing it
you don't look at in their yeah unified, something they say way. I'm I'm fuckin! Four years old, you go find something I believe enrolled caught some stuff,
you don't look down in the past and you're gonna find someone down there,
We need to do,
we nothing! That's all we need to do you asshole, stop trying to make em
judge payment with my eighth.
Jesus I saw the little fucking figure of three
have you ever had a problem with the girl, forgetting mad at you, that you whack off the port
in a workshop is one of the worst ways of putting it. You know that really does makes me think that that, like the slimy slamming
Against the inside of my leg
guy says I dont girls who say that they consider it cheating. I think that's bullshit, because because, if not
real and you just rebel, went out with a visual aid. I just don't think fantasy
it should be outlawed,
because you're in a relationship. What do you think? Well,
I admit that it isn't cheating because cheat
you Don T, you gotta, be somehow with another life: human being: okay,
no matter how enjoyable, what dad had wakened up like you.
But rather one out support
and be they still something pathetic about it. Do you know?
that feeling of guilt afterwards, where'd you think it's your parent review,
your parents said, or maybe your church, but it isn't. It's the pathetic Agnes
That's your mail. Dna
going, you know you could
Somebody alive to do this with you know what useless
Hunter here, a gather and when you go on
The kitchen go, it's him, berries! You fuckin, pussy,.
No, I don't think it's too, but I dont think you should do it with your girlfriend known about it,
she's into it
a preview Debbie but she's like windows, creepy pocket dude. If you do
like Wanna, see somebody bang, your wife and I just said
chicken and while you're doing it, you know if you've seen those videos sucking creepy things with your girlfriend was like that when I TK
I'm really losing every female on the public S right now there are going.
Up the idle
it's too, but I
so you know I'm really at thy porn. I just don't think it's good. I thought about that stage
as I do I feel like. I think your soul is like pixelate it and every time you look
some shit that you shouldn't shouldn't be
looking at a couple of cubes just float away
and you never get back to me like that.
For the future can always back to fade away except you saw it up
I fully support my talk about somebody starts offices. My
That's question yet, but their escape pat himself on the back
how do about? How do you feel about potentially hurting slash, embarrassing? Your family? I think they mean
with them
with some of your material yeah. Definitely conscious that! That's why you know
You just tell over the top stories and try not to make anybody look too to bed. I town every
down, but I'm dead.
We conscious of it.
So yeah how I feel about that. I feel like I don't want to embarrassing.
There are five. What is your favorite olympic event to watch?
by the way phone sex is the cure for aids. Is my new
I space quote
I'm glad you enjoy that one see what is your favorite olympic events, a watch thesis
I'd like that,
hundred made a dash, though an adventure
a car Louis. Did I like that one fastest fuckers on the earth?
I don't mind the swimming.
Like the volleyball,
She female Volleyball Europe,
volleyball mix, girls thighs all thick they'll get booties
well fuck, it sergeant slaughter,
once these.
The boxing
I like a lot of the ship downhill skiing,
I, like I say like a lot of events, the parties great please.
Wherever the basketball ever watched, any of it
Do I have watched any that I just realized. I really like the Olympics,
I'm hoping some point. They come back to allay the Colosseum right down the Fuckin street. Would that be great
The way I see you a seat road is but a fact, as the Olympics.
Wait here in a block
first know I'd supplement, namely to show how does it
I got the Trojan someone I had not yet been able to do it wait a minute.
Spoken, gets a graduation so attractive the olympic saga.
You don't have anyone can email right
like almost like a fuckin email, Morse Code,
anything that that stress teaches cap alive.
The debt
dad dad that that day, that it at that time that bit right there to seven think a fucking Jim Mackay.
I see well before our eyes,
that we are now into last week. I was sick.
We got here first outta here I will close with underrated overrated, which is a topic that really been taken off.
So the admin listening people had been said setting
in their lists of shit that they,
It is overrated and underrated and very passionate, subject:
Because you know how you watch tv and they'll be somebody who you think is: is
great and they're not on tv or using
band is cool and no one's listening to and then there's something. Then
bodies into, and you just take it absolutely socks.
It drives you nuts, after why's, that walkin around topless self and that's how were
why the audio rate underrate lifted taken up, but before we get into that.
You like myself, who don't like getting cold. Here's some people's called remedies are right.
Sky one see you gotta club. Aren't you perceptive
he said he had the reps recipe to hand away called.
This is why I love about this fuckin email. This is a recipe
it gives me no measurements whatsoever.
It is a recipe, gets beef or can be chicken coop.
Though a soup.
Beef Kaliko with chicken callow or I get soup? Ok, I don't want a cowboy means, but he says also known as soup like a committed, a crime needs an alias okay. You make you make this year
straight and two days max. This is what always happens. We have a cold people come up to you. You got
those those men, don't you I do know tat. I get a fuckin call in three weeks,
You see the guy's gonna fuckin call the idea what happened
should it make the stuff.
Why did you make the stuff if it's
It automatically makes you not get a call you fuckin asshole.
Nobody knows how to cure the common called. If it did you'd release it,
to the market and you'd make a villain dollars like that chick who did the airborne thing, but this guy
At least given this thing away for free and be very cynical here- and I apologize I Hague up,
The you'll be straightened. The lady in MAX front right.
On the other
the trash the tree, the t you got to you need to get that cinnamon apple pie in the sky,
feel shit with the lady in the front.
Yeah, that's exactly how go to the store you get that sentiment! Apple t he eldest
Feel shit with the with the lady in the front circuit,
Are you the language store? Ok and it's a woman,
ok, be progressed. We confirm our fuck, you, you can't security, I anyway,
step up its sugar. Ok, getting ready for the soup, agrees, chicken or beef carrots, cabbage, corn, potatoes and HAL appeal, pepper, capitalized, not dead.
Shit but the rest of the stuff they pull-
The ground get that peppers green in the soup.
I don't know what it is, but it helps for real
It helps the real son, any family.
If I ever even feel something coming, Bab capital letters makes some couto and it's over. It's done.
I believe it doesn't matter. Maybe this takes a b for chicken stock. As I was saying, I throw some care
and their fill it bugs bunny
I concur earlier three stages. I just throw the shit and there will be new and I just fuckin prohibit all right a compliment
with some point tortillas to Athens,
I or people with others. Can you please explain to me all that shit? I get all that shit confused,
The guy of anxiety, when I go to a mexican restaurant is only know it tacos embryos and Wendy.
The tortillas
hello go deep! Those I don't know what the fuck it is, and I don't even know if it even is authentic. At this point, because basic
my
vacation on mexican food is Taco Bell commercials, and I know that's why people doing so
They're just make it up shit, you don't owe me they put it.
Laser cheese in it.
Tortilla.
It therefore goes round things that you, for
that it becomes a burrito, but anyway
this guy says Heather with
Women matter he said
This guideline is like Fuckin, Mexicans, eliminate or the Iraqis up and go
oh I'm, an ETA L. I am aware a day and put some girl saw there too.
Also heed to meet up first and dump the work. Do you know what this fuckin recipe them?
they make sense. You be the words spoken shift
the food network.
Forget it. You know this is no amounts.
Getting the right in a dash of garlic salt put some fuckin,
Alex uglier too,
hey I'll, do that Arab? Never to is this summer.
Others are actually getting stopped up. As I'm talking about this
you're the barricade over too.
You gave a sick what you pay
Carefully three times before, I think you get sick about every six months. Ha their sides
I guess they should start to recognise before you get fully sick. The first side you get take something for good,
sake, ha ha ha spaces phobia fuck it.
I keep a bottle of tylenol extra.
Strike the Suez. I feel a little different. I take it,
I'm cool in the morning tried I'm sure, you'll get sick before Christmas. Let me know if it works right when they get no fuckin stuffed up now going on the three take new subjects:
The case for the congestion. Stop is money for calls. You know it.
This is all over the counter shit. You know I mean I want. I wanted, like somebody secret, grandparent, red fuckin recipe like that guy above me. Maybe that's why
Don't give me any sort of.
He didn't give me any sort of fuckin measurements is protecting the recipe.
I had one for garlic. Last week I was telling you how people say that garlic works is a guy.
Wait. You never get sick. He says
First of all, I think it's back. In the day I was a fuckin health wreck, a scare called the least once twice a month.
But today I haven't had a cold in about two years now, the secret.
Is garlic whenever I feel like I'm catching a cold. I too
for close, I don't mind,
them up our flight them
or anything else pussy like Skype
judge metal right now. I just cut him up in two or three pieces and Papa, like pills.
Along with a shitload of water. Then, of course I brush my teeth.
Who I know that it might sound somewhat off putting in
someone up putting. It may be TAT bit disgusting, but
It's not worth it.
You don't wanna, try that
We ve got the natural ship
I was go with. However, we originally did it because I
I have a feeling that everything else is just in an evil way of making money. You know enemy come with me.
I can talk about that, there would rule out penicillin. Would you say people?
light and added to the population problem and Emily. That's why everyone in China Right a bike? Lack of can afford a card
you wouldn't get anywhere
that's not even they don't all right boys dismayed
I've trying to get onto the overrated underrated the new,
the care.
I'm on my way
gas Jesus quite a run on energy. Here I thought lingering effects from that fuckin supercool the collapse we gotta overweighted underrated. Then I'm gonna get the fuck out of here. Ok and once again people just like you know I do have my arm. I want our special coming up and you can see
the ban on the top of the page. I look at me looking to the side like, while I really do have a special august- thirty first, ok
overweighted underrated.
Let's see: ok, overrated,
were red hang on. Let me get to it when we get to hear something that I bet is overrated and not living up to the high tattoos everyone in there.
Fuckin grandmother had got there
Tat too, is completely ruined the outlaw rebels status at once at once. Had
I gotta, we agree with that. Do you use them?
you are a bad ass. You read me
You know what mean that you walk into a barn summoned up with you. He had not thereafter
That is a woman. It used to mean you'd better, where two condoms-
because I have talked a lot of guys. That's what it used to me.
Now it just means you you're a follower.
You don't like. I like the people who would have been the people who just got tattoos, but now they happen.
Get to the next level.
They're doing that thing were. There
to turn their fucking ear, lobes into odd gymnastic rings. I really
we understand that it all that it is the most fucking disgusting thing people get
how to send their faces. Now
rapid? They arrive Atlanta,
young wheezy areas from ITALY
that guy recently, I should think he's fucking funny as help, but the tattoos
I wish I was actually Jochen with somebody you that guy's tattoos look like he'll think he walked into a
two parlour and looked at the wall and goes yellow me get all that just gimme.
TAT two of your wall, the economy
This is why a reason to every once in a while, you you'll see.
Like a really cool tat too.
Like I saw this girl in Denver. She had there
I want to say this because I'm hitting someone else is going to do it. Then it's going to be busy. These tattoos will become like the hacky barbed wire tattoo. This girl just had a tattoo of a bunch of different, like pin up girls from the
in Fortys and
that's all they were she'd have like one on a four hour on the inside one of the top. What an the biceps so was kind of like bad scotch tattoos,
the old, the original singer. Basic easy way to settle
the Fuckin eagle or a dragon.
You looked at it. You could see what it was in a local wouldn't like those in other fleets.
That people get like Tommy Lee. We, it just looks like a scribble pad
the fucking worst worst. You can't see anything
I think that some agree with you. I think, if you get like one really cool personal tattoo and also
keep yourself and shape.
Tat, you can still look. Who are you?
We have to take some sort of judges who, at that point to make you
They haven't fuck attacked you at the very least commit a felony. You know
some somebody overhead stuff, the Hummer h three
celebrities
shopping rights.
Thing. I don't get it
She trend of those tee shirts that say famous what
the tool where something like that
I say those things I don't think I've seen about. No, you Talkin about
the loser, T shirt.
People that, like the Rascal Flats or Katy Chechnya.
I don't know the Rascal flatter Katy Chest.
Is he. The girl bury their dead.
Check from Jerry. Maguire
the fact is her name
the biggest an the first name upon my head, but I know its not her.
The diary of of
always that fuckin go. You know the girl, I'm talking about
countries. I always knew about the guy.
Can't stand country music. I don't mind somebody all the shift from the fifties: early sixties, but country music. Today it
right.
I just beyond corny. Oh my god, something was plain:
God broke the other day that guy Fucking blows.
Know they like they always start. Every line wait out lower than they move their way up.
I gotta, kill yourself.
Can kill yourself.
Country music stocks.
You know I wouldn't I bet he always genre music- that I can just say that without equivocally straight across the board, ditches socks.
It always ends up put your fuckin corn balls, who think they are cool,
in that light dancing. We do that stupid.
Shit, we're lived here,
wake up and you whack the arch of you.
Fuckin cowboy boots enemy. You wacky, others
of its terrible.
Absolutely terrible
I also like how are they all have to act like this, so fucking pure? You know what I mean like that. Not getting group B pussy.
You know, and then they re all those patriotic songs. Cash in.
In America's going to go blow you up and all that shit. That was one of the greatest parodies ever. Do you guys ever see that fucking little guys from South Park was my face?
That will be what they did, the movie with the marionette puppets puppets. There
did the they did that
What would you do it?
your lap breeder. What would you do that?
The subtle, wonderful slam on people who made, though some anyway,
all right.
Another overrated, think guitar Europe. Thank you, but you're fucked
No that's another Great South Park Episode South Park, his fucking genius, by the way,
Did I watched it? Did they still make ingenious? Episodes are no one ever thought about it anymore.
Empty these again tv they pay states sought for twenty years now
reality shows
take that those who are already I gotta, arguing that one people know that shitty shows
Jonas brothers, people just know that that sucks, but there's more
and never to it
Metallica is overrated.
In the eighties early nineties, they kicked ass, but nowadays now well.
In a legendary.
Hannah Montana happy
She be overrated,
she's, not overrated teeth like her. Will you
walk up eleven year old maker.
By about lunch boxes, persons really mean
everybody. You see in every week issue of every single entertainment magazine examples, Brad, Pitt, Angelina, Jolie, Lindsey Low Hand, Britney Spears, Miley, Cyrus Development
it's a single magazine, separate Brad Pitt was also snatch. Users would fight club smitten, good movie supplied the fuckin, the pot
true romance
these overrated Gaddafi's
look at me: get Europe AMOS, Pussy, underrated.
I think I only got a cold again during this buckets part,
Is it really loved by the website for me to visit the embryo? I'd read something
That is.
I'll wait. Some I look at this in the August is overrated. The ipod. I like this one
go to the ipod is overrated. I don't like it, I'm sure it's a one.
Toy, but obviously everyone I know who has one has something bad to say about whether it shifts to bed early plays pie.
The sun- I don't know, I'm just
goes against the pop culture. Bull shit. Now I would say the Ipod is the Ipod
like you can't get a fixed either. You don't owe me like.
The stereo back in the day when he had a record player it didn't like, become obsolete
six months later you the autonomy and you
I could get a new record player and a good play way more records. It's bullshit,
yeah. I don't actually lost my ipod about,
two years ago. I then I put two years and I don't give a fuck, because
fuck it expensive and you lose them when they break easily exactly the bathroom is
The same material like if he'd make like a cheap toaster resulted in order
It is made out of aluminum. Inevitably, the distant spends his shit near one of the fact that it is right behind it and if you did that it runs up against it. That's what fuck
and when you to undergo the ipod stored images like
I, your ipod,
never there's no gravity in my apartment. You fuckin asshole. Yes, I did, but we get that's not.
But you don't cover gravity. You can't.
All right now under way.
They think they're underrated, good books, music movies and art. I would say good books
I don't use exonerated of people across the board like music
All these aren't, I guess you know people, you know good good, music, Gimme movies are going to museum. I love this one, underwrite
Kenny Rogers roasters that place was good awesome chicken
I ain't, there wasn't bad. It was probable. The pop eyes
Very clean Popeye's in the world
by the way, but have you walk into the biscuits other ship until the dirtiest restaurants? Ever I backer
underrated, hilarious sitcom that ran from nineteen. Ninety eight to two thousand for on CBS story, tat dancer,
Let your son in law,
by tat tat death being angry. He knew I can play angry because
was already on a show that mates indication
and now he was a man. He was another when it meets dedication, so he had so much fucking money. How can you be angry? It's like ice cube
just don't by the outgoing boys get album coming out the ship. It's like. How are you still mad dude, ok
the making platinum albums for twenty five years, yet seamlessly stew,
in the movies.
Starring in them. Ok, and now you make it your own way,
I have like fuckin
with half a billion dollars at this point they still have that scowl on his face.
His eyebrows really annoy me there are we touch it,
He delivers his shit. You don't owe me about that angry ice.
Right, but I just say: ice like a new fearful.
Not that I agree as kidnapping right you fuckin four years old right, ok, rush, this process,
his underrated, one of the greatest rock band. To be honest, they have been a bad but thirty
for years and still not adapted to the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame, it's bullshit nobody's and it's not bullshit rush sock. That ban sucks. Ok,
quickly. Technically, what they're doing is incredible, but the sun stick it gaily
boys is annoying and I just find their place to be rope robotic without feeling it.
Today, on fire by a bomb
right on the beat then at push
than I laid back their literally right on it like a fuckin drum machine to fuck
comes down
and getting we do things like something. What a grab by your his ponytail unjust, spin ammonia head like a fuckin helicopter
All right last were dirty work. The movie dirty work,
the boy was movie star, ignore Mcdonald and Artie Leg and was produced by Bob Faggot
the train was it that will be looked funny. I might read that it speak it
If you want to watch one of the fucking,
jawed, robbing we awful movies of all time, and I will end on this. I actually finally watch the movie neighbours star.
John Belushi and Dan accrued, it is without it
one of the biggest piece of shit
ever seen in my life.
And the payment of the big thing about that movie was John Belushi was plain: the nerd an act
It was plain, the crazy guy- and I don't know-
They they were so nervous that people with
I would not accept John Belushi as the nurse.
The guy
every time they showed his character to reinforce that he was a nerdy character is, if I couldn't tell my own, they would play like this. Do you know
trombone like this loser every time they showed his characters like dude, I got it he's. The fuckin
who's gonna, take the movie makes absolutely no sense and Egypt, it just ends
I'll, just some don't joke and a dozen it doesn't like member apocalypse now.
When moment, Brandiles character, talks about sanely knock inoculated stack of arms.
And saying
The poets teeth out.
That's what that movie made me want to do like literally my teeth heart. It was such a ban.
Fuckin movie aright!
fuckin podcast his way to God. Damn want
eighty two: why so long now, because everybody from were not given me, always great stuff, all his feedback, you know
I appreciate all I tried to stop by maybe I'll just try to start picking the cop. What I just feel like I gotta relevant, because people take the kind of sentiment, but I think I just did like a forty minute podcast. I don't get. Somebody fired out there if you actually listen to this new cubicle so anyway, that's it. I'm gonna be at the once again and will be the improv, my
before, and I will be whatever the day game is
the mileage, I'm gonna, be it that game,
and then only be five hundred people there, so I'll be easy to find. So if you do
please say hello and come on down the improved on the floor.
He threw the seventeenth I'll be down their pleas for my special August, thirty first on comedy central, and that is it, and I really appreciate all the feedback.
He's been given me the podcast questions. Please keep in common.
Painful that fucking, great and underwater overrated. All it should write that is it a boy you gotta get. We got lucky strings that all these things can be way. Things right, she says is much too wide a second matter. This was in his hand.
Transcript generated on 2020-02-27.