Hey, what's goin on his bill burn is time for the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday, Monday morning, podcast and I'm just checking and on yeah that's right, I'm not yellin it. I've fucked up my voice doing that every goddamn we can start to drink, throw Coty. I need to take care of myself in these next. This next chapter. As a peal off another layer of the onion, Whatever stupid industry thing, I've just decided, you know a few people in my life. You know I'm kind of scene, it I've seen it I'm seeing what live in a certain lifestyle leads to and I'm like you know what I need to clean up my act a little bit standard grow. And so one of the first things I'm gonna do I'm not cutting out the booze or I'm can stop yelling. I'm I'm checking up on you. You know it's baby steps you know when I gradually work towards laying off the heroin. You know I like it, it helps us we go to sleep. You know

the amount of times that we want to take a nap when upstanding up outside in public, and I just can't do it because my mind just won't shut off. You know, that's that's one! The heroin comes in. As when it comes into play. You can listen to my phone Ding Dong and because I got a phone call coming up an anonymous it here, Ah, anyways. Let me see here. Jesus now, what are we looking at text message? A message, messages messages, while I'm trying to do this podcast. This is really gonna fuck with my idea. How should we go- and I must say something right all, but all Billy Booze bag, a right. I have a family and for Back east, some guys guess the movie by the way.

It's something you do with the car can figure it out. Now. I can help you what I love is now. Everybody knows that the movies, but there's still gotta check, treat me like death at the end of the long long long, trailer, starring, Lucille Ball. What are you guys asked me if it's every other movie that you can do with the car other than the one you notice? How about that about? Switching it up a little bit. Is it Herbie goes to Monte, Carlo. And I realize all these years I've been using that as a reference like Because it's the one at the first or second movie, I suffer lover Benjy then I saw Herbie goes to Monte Carlo and my mother was just like my mother, told me, you know either just those kids movies were stupid. I was going to take it anymore. Those enough. Basically, there wasn't anything there for her and she was looking out like you know. There is really nothing here for these kids, it's a fucking talking car, it's a talking dog

How long are we going to keep the lie going right? The fat fuck doesn't come down the chimney, dogs, don't talk and the veto view beetle. Isn't it economical car, but you know at the end of the day, is not respected, so that's it. We go see. Stripes. Anyways. I completely forgot what the fuck I was say. Consider. How the fuck that I get to that? I have no idea. Do I need to go on Burundi to play some brain games. So what is what the fuck was out more healthy I don't know what it always allow AG moment that we back east. I got it. I got it right back right, maybe those outtakes on Casey case and pointing flips up screaming yonder god dammit, I'm not fucking. Arena bought a fucking dog died. You know this is basically like those outtakes accepted. I don't edit them up. And don't have is iconic success.

Yeah other than that, I think it seeks, excepting but anyways I family come and theme. We kill me publication twice and this past month and dumb take him out to the spots we had a drink, a little toasts for the little one, little nanny. Don't she's laughing ass off now the greatest thing it's the greatest thing ever Could not be in a joint, more and chewing first, and for the first time in my life, I'm someone can actually look at me and say happy day right and I don't have to be like. Oh my god, In what comedy club did you work? How old is it anyways, now. I was never like that on the road. I was a good boy sort. I am anyways ploughing ahead here so because it came in I kind of get off my die. I was still doing cardio everyday.

So I stepped on the scale and the unacceptable second number in my world, these eight ok, that's ever a nine, I'm tellin you right now, I'm going to jump off a fuckin building, I won't do that just by really comfortable I'll, keep wherein the golf clubs that I worked there just get bigger. You know into the John Daily Life. So I'm back on it back on it jumped on this scale today, one. Seventy eight point: eight still unacceptable, like I've been having the worst fuckin time trying to get down to my fighting way. I want to be one. Seventy two by my birthday, like forty nine. The under the forties, wrap it up. What was professional athletes I would be ten years retired was that was Tom, Brady. With my sinewy muscles or whatever the fuck you still with his spongy muscles.

I don't want you, don't scientific in the throat cut arduous, but you just annoying on so many different levels. City. I apologize. So anyway, I'm just someone eternal, just lay off the booze For a little bit, I'm going to San Francisco This weekend Ed. I'm working with Fuckin, my dean of my dean, Martin Giotto Rosa. Ok, so that's gonna, be that's gonna, be a mulligan that night and showed my friendship with Giotto Rosa in his friendship with me. Is one of the great friendships in show business history and it's all, It's all alcohol field, you know I don't think we ve ever hung around each other sober, and I think that I gotta get him on the park. Guest I really gotta get all fuckin. Jody rose, whatever's background is.

The egyptian italian- he doesn't know that man was lifted a door step of a funny born way back in nineteen. Seventy seven, I believe. He showed up on of nowhere. Baby. Nobody wanted. He came out of the womb already wherein those dark frame glasses. I said that many ways plan ahead I'm sure really know about that. From all Joey guys, I'm guessing to drinks it they do. We simply want to talk about it. I know you just joking, but you know to bring it up. It's really fuck me trash my dog onstage. That's coming out. Fourth drinkin, I'm trying to guess what the arguments gonna come from this weekend. Why drink but Joe? We really don't argue anymore. Once I discovered fair enough, you know

I grew up a little bit a group a little bit and that's all we did. We start to argue, and then one of us just goes a seafarer enough. We laugh and in just diffuses everything fair enough. Fair enough could stop wars. You're I mean. This is our borderline. Now we think it set a fair enough further. I understand why you would think that, but I mean you know: Vernon. What are you going to give it to us? Why I'd I didn't say that. Well, I'm fuckin start shooting, I think, fair enough We have that's what you feel you need to do. It just diffuses the other guy in the other guy state and they're gonna. Like do you suppose, tat you supposed to get mad men. Men and I, like my people, knew why your people we the human eyes each other that the recession That's a very very

But he watched the the penguins risk. The fuckin prime I'll tell you something about. I'll. Tell you something about these these days penguins from Pittsburgh? Is they know how to fuckin when a goddamn series. Jesus Christ, the predators in an all too hole for those EU bad at math best for out of seven you're down. Oh two. That means you have to win for the next five. All the coaches and got to tell you that. What's he gonna going to say that working time, ok guy What book. Ok, you gotta start worrying about take a one period, tart today, a beating the shit?

Sidney Crosbie Display of series display justice. This display our run. I don't know what he did to the rest, but they are done protected. That guy. This slash and on the hook and on their fuckin, hit them in the head anything that they can do I don't know, I think that day day they should have brought a grown up or something. Somebody to do something I don't know but anyways how about fuckin mark in school. Absolute falcons. You know. And I know that day you pulled off people to their whatever it's fuckin name is for some reason. I care members Goddamn APEC arena Dales his name. Jesus I get cocksucker came up some about a dick is that is the present I fuck. It lacks every game. I still get members names.

The focus is new, is attack. Arena was at the guy from San Jose, wasn't San Jose. Then he went to Nashville you don't once I stop collecting cards. You know and I turned to scotch. I just never been able I've never able to handle the names. Anyone. But anyway, I don't give a fuck who you are, CAN Dryden. Patrick WAR Terry saw Chuck. Nobody stops that fucking puck, that was an absolute filthy, Filthy fuck and go So my prediction way back in the day: what did I say? What did I say before a flip laughed and said I was gonna? Was gonna win game seven before I did that I said the penguins we're gonna win the whole thing, so when it happens, Armani ignore the fact that I thought Otto I was gonna come back when gave seven, because I was questioning the gold tending in Pittsburgh on when ignore all of that. And I'm gonna, pull a poverty and say dude? What did I say.

Dude. I called it. Just out of far you know, Galaxy I want to, I want to see the predators tie up. Desir not jealousy just started like selfishness. I want to see the. The shall season goes, is many games as possible, but the day right now the way to bring with applied? May I remind you is all about the bulwark we'll see. Something incredible has to have what the are we fuck shot the goal that baby face kid. There I mean but that was the Paquette eyes like there was one little fucking, just pocket sized space for a split. Second. Between all pack, a penis, their whatever his name is. It is open for half a second. The pact lily turns sideways, like some matrix shit and when, in the glamour, what I want I sought lives. I caught a factor that go in

I don't know man say the hockey gods are smile. I doubted Pittsburgh right now through us, we'll see what sort of home whom I said vanish. They have, but also the NBA players Play us, the final starts tonight at the NBA Finals and the Stanley CUP final Or is it Stanley CUP finals in the NBA final? I think it's gonna be a finals. Every time I say some stupid, my phone rings, that's it right there does. Weeping I have a call here. Fuckin see ten minutes terminates. Some happy applies here. Not going to matter you guys cuz I'll, just pick it up enough I'll, give you ten minutes of silence Look I'm trying to do some Archie. That starts tonight. I don't know, I don't have a feeling on this one. I want the Cavaliers to win. I want the Cavaliers twinkies. I still feel like they don't get that respect.

People are talking about them like the defending that they are the defending NBA champions in its political Doran. Went to the warriors, I think that that's why I'm nobody seems to be able to talk about in honor me just to be able to see like enough for nothin. These guys beat those other guys last year, so I hope they keep disrespect and because I always ruled against pylon team. You know We did it what the Red Sox two thousand seven, I just I don't think I watched the World Series mean obviously I was happy that we won. Obviously I'd rather see us when then the fuckin. Colorado rockies, but I wish this is theirs. Optician. Do you know having said that, having said that, when the. When the base, when the basketball hockey season ends ok I'm getting the ATM L B package,

And I'm watching my two hundred and ten billion dollar red Sox, who are in second place three games behind the evil empire that has nothing but their own home grown talent, and I want to watch the collision course. It see how that goes. I ve learned With some feed sports fear. With some fear me back, EAST is the, baseball is such a great sport, but the problem is: is the first, almost the first half of the season is the most exciting time in basketball and hockey in your emotions. As a fan I so heightened, even if your team is out of it just to watch You know, there's always something great happens. In the in the final. Unless enough, the Fuckin ref called thirty eight thousand one team at fifteen on the other than it sucks. Letting a go: and then all of a sudden, it's over.

By then you settling in just a bit outside a bit of April ballgame. A day is on base percentages. Six, forty five. He really see the ball right now. I can t play the game. What was it like when you just now when you hit Zalm like this all day, you know when you saw what does that mean that bore me your eyes or its biggest crisper sooner Germany? Just like you can't you just stick and a bad out there in the balls. Go away, wants to go, but you know what are you? Are you tell you try to try to stay in that zone? I try to try and keep a girl. You know it's world things. You can't control you just You aren't as yours, you mature supplier, to just try to enjoy those moments. While you know you hope it goes as long as it can put a touchy, it is going to swing back to the other way, and it is hoped that that's is,

You know that the slop doesn't lasted long, so you know you can keep your house and their gold digging whore. They met now tells up when you come up in AAA did she knocked up. You're really love, but you like her, you hang in there for the kid. You can get a settlement that so what you need to do is. What are you gonna just immediately? You got a slow everything. The fact down And what you have to do is gonna watch day game. You gotta keep score While you smoke a cigar, you get your line up, they get it all ready to go. You just fuckin sit there and you like the cigar about the third and you just sit there and you fucking, maybe even on the radio, listen to it on the radio and you just it's like sports yoga. He deceptive totally just calm your mind, fuckin, relax and then slide into the dog days a baseball right.

And then you write that out for about six weeks, And then, all of a sudden, NFL precision aright and his appreciation comes along excited about. Football is every weeks excited because the only place sixteen gigs right, But baseball's also ramping up. So then one September comes along its lead. April, may jus with basketball unhappy, because now it's like you so excited I'll fuck and I felt football college football. It's coming back. I have a reason alive right and the baseball race Is heating up before you go in with Joe Buck and all the great October baseball? That's how you do it right. So these next six weeks after the finals or over you know, I'm telling you I'll walk you through it on the pot guest. You know you pick a couple of alternative sports. Maybe you watch low, rolling garrison. Little Wimbledon. You get into formula one, maybe a little model jp right.

What the fuck? You guys? Don't that's, not my business! It's none of my business. What times nine fifty five! Let's see if I can read advertising five minutes, I don't think I can do especially when I type in my goddamn password. The family back EAST during all right. What do we got here.

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I mean I've even eaten funny smelling sushi. But let me tell you none of those hours funny you see so streaming library of stand up television and original content, especially not dissociate. Why would they try to re comedy for us? We do a quick rewrite of this. You know I've had a funny feeling in my gut I've gone down on a funny smelling, Twat get out. I've been in a parking lot late at night and felt funny. Like you know it's it's someone gonna fucking cut me up. Nothing compares to watch a fuckin six feet under under nazi soap.

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oh by the way target words who was arrested. Everybody said was arrested for for drinking a driving. Blue is zero point zero, zero point. Fourteen zero Jesus Christ is another thing. I second that love In order to fund interviews, I just talked to a guy who goes by lights. Camera. Jackson, that how do you not love the guy that is old, school showbiz haughty ever forget that name, like camera Jackson, Let me take this in here. If we back EAST fucking password? Why won't you work for me Why won't you work for me? He was funding. Is somebody has enough time at some point to fuckin spliced together? Every time me I'm trying to fucking put together my password yet by the Tiger Woods Taboo blue is zero point zero. The dew was on pills. You don't owe me

that the level of shit, the deck guys get that guy sacrificed his fuckin body to become great. Ok now is bodies break it down and everybody's blame it on the fact that he cheated on his left right. That's what did him in. His laser focus. He couldn't block out of tat, I the first two years, yeah sure bugged, but I mean at some point you move on right, his body big, set it free from the very beginning, they said the way swings. The club is bodies gonna break down at some points. It now look at em now look here. Europe is trying to come back he's on all these painkillers. He wants to one another, one, probably before it hangs it up and goes to the

the signatories door, what he has to do these fuckin drugs that you can get nowadays are completely out of control. When I was a kid, but a drug came out, bear any this shit, they didn't have nine thousand side effect. What happened was people used to be in the pharmaceutical industry, got into the Fuckin FDA and they are the ones who police to pharmaceutical companies and those comments just waved everything around like a third based coasted dead lost his vision. So then they lead opiates ended the fuckin world. Now you gotta God, damn how an epidemic, ok And now Tiger Woods is taken too many, those fucking things that he pulls over the side of the road. Everybody Saint is because you, dear that's, fucking blonde hair blue eyed woman, who evidently is Saint, who took his fuckin. His is masters money bought a giant house, not the fuckin thing down to buy something else, waited all that material GO waited all those fuckin gold plated, toilets girl. They would render the fucking ocean you don't but she's, a victim,

Gimme, a break. That's it for the podcast signing off, not fuck it with you I'm just trying to energy my weight in the last bit of this. I would ask the way out here to talk about how you only as a great new bit by bit. I support his name- is Charlie Charlie Watts. Drama for the rolling stones as a great new book outage, it's just drummers and influence time, and if you're a drummer- and you're into that shit, because he gets a jazz drummer. Hardy talked about all these fucking. Great drummers that I've I've heard most of the names, and did know enough about him and the fact that he could break down this thousand what they did. As made me. I was already listen to a lot of that shit through some of my drum lessons, but really trust trying to listen to the shit that you say it's a great book let me let me look it up here, made a fuckin hyper spoke here we ve been trying to get Charlie on this podcast for a long time. I know he doesn't do a lot of interviews and.

But I know you'd want to come on my protest. Charlie watch book, Let's see what we got here, Jolly. You know the fucking internet works in like two rooms and my fuckin house. I spent all this money like. Can you give me the new killer level. Fucking internet, so I can somehow beat out my neighbors and it works for a little while then that's it. Soon shall wants. Dancing, you don't know about Charlie Watts,. Why no books about Charlie Watts, it I'm usually good about Charlie words, books, drummers influence book. You know I nailed John Daily search. The last time come on The fuck sakes out Charlie, what's favoured dramas or did come up. Do they get if a twelve box, twelve thousand thirty seven cents.

Whiplash, the film that puts the drummer in the limelight driver take us how much a fuckin hated that movie. I just hate, watches somebody get paraded. It's a fucking go join another bad. Why would you sit there taken that level is shit from the guy and then not to mention the kids fuckin technique? I ve had to look away when he was fucking plan will fancies making those faces. You could just feel the guy's forums tighten up this guy. This guy's gonna have carpal tunnel, Trying to please this complete can't, you know and I gotta tell you the best drums from that year,. Was not in that movie is greatest drums were the best fuckin drums and some of the best terms I burn a movie. A mainstream moving along fuckin time was Michael Keaton Movie What the fuck was that movie, where he was the two former superhero the bird, the along I watch sent movie before I realized. That was him in the costume talking to himself spoiler alert all right

Michael Keaton right. Bird. FUCK, you spell his name of on watching movies for thirty fucking years bill. Jesus Christ, Michael Keaton, Bird bird man, You'll be fine, Who the fuck is that drummer? In that I know I talked about that before the drums in that movie are fucking incredible. It did it's like. Like that? That's just a whole other level of drumming with that guy is like Play in, like moods- they supposed to just play in ninety million miles an hour all over the kid that guy is, he sees teeth, creating peaks and valleys, and that was like a fat was literally a movie score just done with drums, I mean how many people gap that level of talent. I can tell you right now. I know I don't. I already knew I didn't in the last three weeks. Is I've been so damn busy I've just been playin like

you know not on a real drunk it. You know blue practice, pad kit that I was playing on and I thought I was you know. I thought I was doing something And then I went down and I played on a real fucking kitten Jesus Christ. Everything that you think he can give you can do drops by like fifty BP aims. You know it be basically like if you would just jargon on a treadmill being like warm, and I can run a seven minute mild any go out to run down the street You don't you forgot about hills and shit and all the sudden, you know you can't run to submit mile anymore if it was flat, level. Ok, baby was flat level over said, you run like a fuckin eleven. My that's what I like. It was extremely fuckin disheartening. Damn. I'm doing the yard comedy jam this weekend up in San Francisco for cluster FEST, which is just completely like when the biggest at a highly they afforded the term to get all of those comedians and bans, and all that they must have a lot to add money.

Somebody's doing some to establish that comedy festival. Don't worry I'll fuckin, nearly nine million dollars in the hall. To start it out but You might want to go this year, because they go in big. Well, what I almost forgot before I sign off your thank you to everybody who has been watching season two about this, for family got nothing, but great reviews is always a couple of country once what're you gonna do but overall, you guys not only like it, but just saying you think it's even better than the first season which, for the amount of work that we put in to hear that kind of feedback. You know I normally a jerk a lot. That really means a lot to me. So thank you guys, finale watching it. Thank you for the people that took the time to. Let me know how much you join it. Please let other people know about it, the more the people but all about it. The more people watch it and a better chance. We have of possibly getting a third season, and that's it that's the podcast for this week,

have a great. We can, you can see it s. A little bit of music from Andrew federalists adopt Devil play little half hours ago, seeds from the Thursday podcast whatever for Thursday going by Monday. One right- that's not my point talking on Monday,

It is the longest fuckin revenge story. I think I've ever read them If I can see if I can fuck- and just when a read that one next week, when I have the energy are questions are right? I have a question for you. I hope you might be able to shine some insight on this. I have this great friend, that that's a girl, mistake, and we get along great and we have never had any sort of sexual tension popping up or interest. Despite her being attractive. You're right you're right there, you re the gay area or you're an idiot, and am I try to give you some tough lovelier? That's a fuckin, sir, but situation to be involved in that stupid All right, unless you using her to attract other females to get you fuckin laid, let's see if this the case, I will continue reading. So She has this smoking hot friend out there we go

one night, I'm at the bar at like midnight and ass. If I want to stay of drinking with her and she overall friendly, so this chicks, Call me up one night, I'm at the bar midnight and ass. If I want to stay of drinking with her, she come pick me up So I see a great things, go very good and we have a few drinks and flirt and when make my move. She gets all upset like. I should have known. She just wants to be friends when she calls. Up at midnight to say the stay of drink with her alone after the incident. The bitch has the balls to suit to to sleep over. Since then I have noticed all her friends are trying to be my friend when all they Do is rail the shit out of them bill? I would hoping you could you should. Could shine some light on the situation and help me out. Yeah do. Never have a friend S. As a female you know, you're always got

be fuckin. That's the only reason to be around him. You know I know that's really sexes but I am just I'm speaking from There's no fucking point. In hanging out with that level of frustration, if you're not haven't sex with them and if there are actually like a good friend and that's the one that you should that's the ultimate if you're bang it- and there are also a great friend- that's the one you marry cause. You got it connection there right. But if you just me that their use in you as like alive teddy, bear. And tat the next time they call up to speed. Like non icon that I can hang out tonight, why were you gonna go out trying to get some ass tonight? I know not getting any from you and it's frustrating because you're hot and I want ben you over every piece of fuckin furniture and my apartment, I can't believe you said that yeah well, I just did

you gonna come over here and fuck me wielding I have to go. Why so maybe I'm not be made on being honest, ok Gimme tells us jerked off to you. It's fuckin and it's annoying. But you just you just I'm telling you I got a little aggressive, but that we have to start doing. You just have to be straightforward and honest, don't do it like. I just said I do if I do it, how you can do it and pull it off, and you just say it like that spirit, they're gonna go out. I was running late tonight right and I Out with you and you're, not fuck me, and then other girls see me with you, and I think that I am fuckin you which are not, and I goin home dry. Open, my futon, you know, and it's really fuckin with self esteem. Okay, so that's it so basically you Eddie. You said you say that you had a second You know I hang out with me. Yes, that is what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying you conversations are awful

You know I'm sure, they're interesting to other females, but not to me. I don't want to I want to talk about that shit. I can give a shit about the hills, the AU see the ocean or whatever the fuck. I was but show you what I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I want to fuck you. Ok, it's worlds every day in order to give us your watch world series of poker. When you go all and that's what you do just say what the fuck you wanna. Do you push all your chips in and you stand up. East are walking around you wait for that next card to drop its if that the FUCK Athens yet Dude my advice get out of that whole circle of AIDS, like a big teddy, bear fuck that for United Teddy Bear. Or you are one right now: you gotta stop being that guy, so fuck, all of them go where you guy friends, what are they doing going, I wouldn't go. Get a fuckin wing man get yourself back in the game and our lot talk some shit

Some girl, you don't give a fuck about, can practice not giving a fuck and just a bunch of shit that you would never say to some girl he gave a shit about me, You don't give a fuck up. The girl says no start with that. You know where a condom and that's it that's what I would do. That's what I should have done. I didn't. I just have that knowledge now cause I'm fuckin. Have I the funeral. I was never the front, but I was deaf. The douche bag was definitely that the not even pussy wept, even pussy. What does this I couldn't fuckin speak up for myself, I was of having a confrontation and then. At a time I had the final confrontation as those like fuckin a year with the shit we broke up,

but that's a whole, not a story. What's up everybody, its bill bar. This is the Monday morning, podcast that I'm recording for the third time this week praying and hoping against hope that the will actually upload this one cause. I've already spent ninety minutes doing podcast this week so ways. If your hair- and this means I successfully uploaded it so there's no sense complaining. Unlike the so the people on my fucking life. You know you ve just have one of those weeks for everyone.

Just bitch at yeah. That's what I got you know. I swear I'm dealing with right now I today's my girlfriends birthday and she's. She was fuckin pissed, Let she went absolutely psycho on me this morning. You know had nothing to do with me. Had nothing to fuckin do with me. You know I gave her a piece of cake last night right at midnight. Sanger happy birthday is technically. It was a birthday. I gave her a pre birthday, slicer cake, Then I gave her a bag of Fredo's with little ball on right, just being a silly jackass like that's all you're gettin, for your birthday right and everything was going great. I was a big, sweetheart and then I woke up, this morning and made the mistake of telling her that I had made a dinner reservation. Yet and she starts flippin out actin, like I'm just throwing her goddamn birthday together. When I gave her a pre birthday, fuckin slicer birthday cake, you know,

Start flippin out, I don't know why she was flippin up. Take it's fuckin. Tuesday the Tuesday, it's not a holiday this who the fuck is going out tonight. June. Second, oh shit was its goddamn mile. You know: for some Fuckin New Zealand holiday that I dont know about. There's gonna be plenty of fuckin reservations and lo and behold after he flips out, you know screaming made right, so am I neighbours think that I'm beating her women love doing that shit. They just put on this big fuckin show and then afterwards they just gone. Sorry, I got a little crazy. I don't know what I was thinking. You don't hate me, did you forgive me? They do that shit right. Meanwhile, you know your neighbors. Don't hear that part they don't you part where they sort of say really quietly that they flipped out for no fuckin reason yeah

all. They heard was to scream and yell, and so now I'm going to get the looks today when I go down to the garage in like it's, the 1920s like I should come walk. I would like a fuckin wife beaters, you know. Has I re attached the belt to my pants So what happens right? I end up call up this fuckin restaurant. Is this not will the nicest steakhouses out here in the ally? I call him up. I said I I like a reservation for two people. Ok, Sir, what time did you like? I said how but eight cant do anything it aid, how, by eight thirty and I said you know what sweetheart that would be perfect and said: okay, and that was it. That's all had the fuckin do, but for some reason- because I didn't do that before her birthday- that me Said I don't give a fuck, that's how can nuts women are. She asked, she actually leaped out on me at

the clock in the morning on her birthday- she didn't Me a chance to fuck the day up. She did a pre emptive strikes, even though I gave her a pre birthday slice. Okay cake, I sang happy barometer shut arise. I pull poorer. Lights. I lit a candle, I came in, I sang happy birthday and I gave her a bag of free. Which is fuckin, ridiculous and silly. It was great and tonight she's gettin the real If you know what I mean, oh so it's one of those deals where I'm lying in bed and then all of a sudden sheikh as just fuckin ridiculous, but I didn't back down. I didn't back. I do not see when she really get mad. Why she started flipping is because when she screaming at me. I was laughing you now. Of any other guy out. They has probably ever have eat like when you girlfriend starch yelling at you. You first instinct is just the start. Laughing.

I don't know why I every time a girl yelled at me. I instantly feel like I'm in school again and unlike in second grade and I'm getting yelled at, and it's just My friends are laughing at me. That's just what I feel like. I feel ridiculous. I guess that's what it is when, when a woman yelled at me, I always feel ridiculous our guy yells at me I get mad because I think I'll fuck, this guy's gonna beat the shit out of me. So you you got again its energy, But when a girl, woman is just what are you supposed to do, you know I'm not a yell back at you, you're a woman. I feel like a bully, we're not going to get physical you're, a woman. You know it's stupid, stop yelling the fuckin high pitched voice. You sound like a fuckin saw Mickey mouse Sit out, relax collect your thoughts,

the list, if you have to tell me why you're upset in open ocean They're fucking yelling at me, like you, just took a hit, offer helium balloon because It just sounds hilarious, especially when I haven't done anything wrong and I got a great fuck and give this year. That's what was killing me. That actually had that moment during the fight where I said you weren't, you gift fine, and I went out and I pull it out already raft with the bow on it. You know sit near actin like I'm, not fucking prepared. Does your fuckin present bam wrapped with a fuckin bow on it. Jesus everybody given me shit nevertheless, region called that woman, a douche bag member douche bag of the week as weak as she was given me shit once again female surprise. Surprise. Was giving me shit that when I read the underrated overrated or the questions people have. I witnessed what sex they were and she some.

I found out a way to cut up. I don't make me look like I was some chauvinist dad. I guess she felt if it was a good question. I credited a guy and are you know it's a free podcast right, stop being so fuckin county, so she became douche bag of the weak. So evidently she didn't like it and what did she do She sent me an email. His email! She sends me bill. It's nice that you need me douche bag of the week. I don't really give a shit, because I always mean what I right. I mean what that means. Cause. I was me when I write out. What are the rest of us just fake in it, which is joking around, but not you? Yes, fuck and serious said he weighs. Evidently, this psycho is a new segment. This site. I can't I can't figure out. This is a love letter, the weak or I go with a week. How are you going? name it. I don't give a shit whenever she goes on a really give a shit, because I was me what I write and at sea

You just talking shit about two things that I wrote that Betty now I was talking about your entire email. Don't try to knock down continue here. She goes cow we can't, but I really don't give a fuck, you ve read a lot of my car whence previously agreed with them or had a good result, to them really fixing her sentences because she doesn't know how to here. But it's not that you were well considered telling the gender of the person who were who the comments are from And I know you have a shitload of people who listen to your podcast, but I got you some more since my friends who heard the podcast thought it was fuckin, hilarious and then started, listen to you, so you really should be thanking me. Isn't this just typical. This is just argovie woman bashing this week. Isn't this just typical of a fuckin female! You know, I mean yet in something every week every week that is free- and she said found a way to bitch about it. Ok and then when I call out for being a douche bag,

she's actually trying to make me feel guilty. Eulogists you now you call me douche bag, whatever images When I got home at your friends to listen to you, I mean progress should be thanking me, but you know as a key shut up I swear to God. Why can't you slap woman? You know back in a day how great the debt feel, You have on the wife beater, though, blowing through your arm pit hair his you just back. I know it's evil. I don't give a fuck fuck. All you guys, don't give a shit. This is the stiffer email, ok before I think I'm an asshole what she wrote. This is, Actually so psychotic, it's hilarious, rights and yeah. I do know that the name shows up on the email, even if I dont sign it, but you just make it seem like you, that much of a retired to notice that's a little what she wrote? And then she wrote your over forty and have the vocabulary of a seventh greater. Your

spelt. Why? Oh, you are. For you morons out there, your while you are, is possessive, meaning, like that's your shirt, ok If you're saying you're over forty, that's you are okay, so means. If you're gonna say your it's an apostrophe, while you are passed to free r e, so if you're a dumb fuck like this woman, if you don't know the next time you gory right, you're, just stop and see if you are, would still fit right like your over forty years are over forty. Ok right there. You know you gotta use the apostrophe as as opposed to sing your over forty. So what is over Dwight own over you, dumb fuck, but I do but the vocabulary of a seventh grade, but you know something you have the fuckin vocabulary. Third, greater, I write your

over forty and you have Gabriel, every seventh greater you can't record nice, real words. How hilarious, as is the cheese misspelling stuff you started when you read, and I hope you our lives you, and you die lonely because of your the lady to commit, and therefore or achieve the comedic fame of the great George Carlin, so Simon says Gulf: fuck yourself it sounds like you have major brain damage. Eric sweetheart. I'm really gonna try to help you out here. Ok, if you hope that my dog outlives me and then you say, and then I die, lonely. Ok. If I'm gonna die before my dog mathematically fucking dog is still gonna, be there. So how am I gonna be lonely, you now the dog Have to die first or run away, so he should say, as I hope he dug out lives. You then runs away and then you'd.

I by yourself. I suppose the Saint hope you dog, outlives you when you die lonely now I would die before me. Dog and be sitting there. Look at my face and my last few pathetic moments, and than ever we because of my inability to commit to a relationship I'll never achieve the comic fame of George Karla. Although Tully makes sense, it has nothing to do with it. That I was in blessed with his gifts is a comedian. You know all you have to do to be as good as George Carlin he's just commit to a relationship to some psycho fuckin check like you are right, lady. These are podcast. These jokes when I call somebody a douche bag, I'm just fucking around said I'll. Take it seriously. But if you want to you and your friends can go, fuck selves and go listen to another podcast aright. Stop trying to threaten me. Like you, gonna, take part Listen to nurse listeners way, I don't give a shit. This is free. Will you gonna take we advertising dollars from me. I don't give a fuck fuck you and your friends. Of your our listening it together. Fuck all of you look around the room

look into each one to your eyes. I'm saying fuck. All of you here is funny your friends are probably laughing at you right now going you know it she is. She is kind of a cunt. She really is like She does have a tendency, I know I shouldn't use that word, but I'm stairs she is. She can be real country sometimes, and she has a tendency to exaggerate things that aren't really happening at facts. So that's the first time male, so I figured out what I seek out I'll try to find some other hate mail is one that I got on Youtube. This is a nice one Basically, I does a clip on their from me from about eight years ago, which are obviously notice, GSM skinnier and have a full had a hair and doing this bit about joining the military. Saying how

You know when you watch the commercials for the military it makes you want to join. You know they make it look like everybody gets their own jet everybody's driving a tank everyone's doing some top gun shit everyone's having a you know: you're Fucking Navy seal. Yet your face paint clinging to that raft and common up out of the water like Fuckin, Rambo disappearing into the mud and shit. That's what they make you look like right, but what they don't show is all the other jobs that you know you go in there and you thinking about you, like you, know Tom Cruise, oh my god, my dad just farther Jesus Christ, Cleo Europe! Could you at least like your kids. What is dog when it farts is it it doesn't have the decency to fucking kind of make a face like yeah. That was me sorry about that. She just lays here good Lord. We stood silent ass. The words when you have a dog that farts like a person you ve, been

from his house and dogs and accordingly is going it's like really anyways. So that was the better the bed, his yeah, you do you see the commercial and sign up, you think and yeah I'm gonna be like Tom Cruise and top gun, and then you show up any end up that guy, you know the jet takes off you just like point in the same direction that the jets going they give Those those orange glow sticks from a rave you now when the plane comes. And you're that guy you put the air the tyres on the jet hero You join the next thing. You know you stand there would like a camouflage, we'd whacker when we gave that was a joke. Ok, simple joke! I actually did the joke. A military base, and I also did it I one of the VA hospitals and if fucking killed you don't. I mean. So, this guy, of course has to go off Fox NEWS on Youtube, and this is what he writes is actually kind of funny. He writes you ungrateful bitch and they put

and quotes. If you had done enough to join the military dot, dot dot, which is classic of somebody who wants to take a joke seriously as they don't write the whole Joe. Is it just take, not even a sentence. They just take. A part of a sentence. Kay. So he writes if you'd DOM enough to join the military dot, dot dot, and then he writes a capital. Letters fact fact is if it as for the bravery of the american servicemen and american spirit throughout history. I, like the american Spirit when you meet checks or go to a fuckin bake sale, anyway. You wouldn't even get you won't even have the right to mock those sacrifices which have been made for you, and if you did, you would probably be doing it in German, so respected. American servicemen, because it is him in which you, oh your freedoms, to take to that. What. People came here. Half the time, people think I'm a morons. Could people can't even write a sentence, because it is him

in which you all your freedoms? To that you take so foolishly for granted. That's word for word. Appreciate the sacrifices of other you coward. At what point did I make fun servicemen? I didn't. I was making further how fuckin. Whatever you know something. If you guys want to take jokes seriously, I don't give a fuck, and I m really sick of that happy thing. Where some goes, you know, and they did it for you and if you didn't you'd, be speaking german right now. That's how dumb people are. You know that, don't you I would like to say that you'd be speaking. German right now is a happy fuckin reference. You just saying that, because you heard someone else say it, you know why be speaking like I was from England. Why? Wouldn't I be begin, our spanish right. Now you know we did fight other countries Mexican Eric and war, how come that whenever its brought up, I will be speaking korean-

granted they weren't over here, but you don't say I I'm so sick of it idiots whose can sound bites like our everyone who, like makes for France focus saved? Your ears were worth to you for pussies, Rita history book. We were paying them for saving our ass with England. You dumb Fox, since our even Eric. Whatever look at me, I'm gettin offset here cause people a morons let's move honest. We it lets. Let's get to some information here for the week, our eye. Last week I was all he is going to last week goes out teasing fire fighters, and I was talking about how were you know? Twenty truck show up to Fire, why does that happen? How much those trucks cost and volunteer fire fighter rodion. He set up an epidemic. I yes, much our fire trucks cost fire. Engines which put the water out await put the water at fire engines which put water out. I think of dyslexic

typically run between three hundred thousand six hundred thousand dollars fire trucks also call ladder. Trucks run between four hundred thousand eight hundred thousand. The two main differences between the low and high numbers is the make of the truck and the equipment it comes with a fire engine with all the hoses added on and the breathing. Apparatus is more expensive than without, The question I have with for you, you save them, make the truck, so I guess what Mack truck That's a reputable ban, reputable LE brand as opposed to what a high Andy fire truck. I guess it that's what it is what the fuck they are brainwash. You asked us: U S! Why so many pieces of apparatus show up to a call there the reason for this. Sometimes it's manpower, my case. We have three fire companies consisting of six pieces of apparatus.

We ve all until they may not be enough on tears in town at any one time. So all three companies get Bang doubt banged out equals called out in fire fighting term typically at least four pieces shop for a call this allows us to of all the equipment we need at the scene. Sometimes you know never know what you're gonna need right, fair enough have the best reason this is great ever perhaps the best reason is that sometimes we are called for what to be in the end, absolutely nothing. But six months ago, my Age or went off your pager Jesus Christ. Dude. Is your fire truck pulled by a couple of horses who the fuck still s a picture, I know he's going right back to special Fucking nine Slash eleven pager for fireman all right, I'm a moron! I get it all right about six months ago Pedro went off for a four hour working house fire. At too I am, I jumped awaken, flew down

firehouse we got on the sea, we saw no smoke or flames. Him with the residence they had just woke up and saw reflect In their mirror that they thought was a fire so here's all six of our apparatus showing up for absolutely nothing or the time we called for the four lightning hit. Lightning, hitting a house on a clear summer night. The woman heard something and thought it was lightning hitting our house. People are fucking, It's all over hope that helps And even though I am a fire fighter, you fire fighter, jokes were funny, see, there's a cool, you see there sweetheart, even though the fire fire. He sees the Joe keep realizes, I'm just telling jobs era, dago people how we learn something this week are right, well there's something else: seminar wrap up this fuckin podcast. I know it's really short this week, but the war on our understand what the point of making babbling for fuckin fifty minutes. If she cast won't upload the files. Are

so computer tips for the weak he's such computer pure tips on web searching, I bill when you want to find something. That that you were Google it. What that makes no sense are when you, Google, you the plus and mine assigns to find the shit you want. That works. If you want to search something with plus in front of it, then it will to contain the word, and if you want to put a minus in front of it, that will remove the word from the listing so basically put the plus in front word that you're searching that you want to find a minus in front of the one that you dont want. For example, I want to see how many sites have bill bur on it, while while eliminating billboard from from the search, so you would google, the plus sign, plus my name bill then

Plus sign and then you write, Bur, minus billboard, dot com and then results was, will show sites that can have content with Bill baronne it and not include billboard dot com isn't interesting. I didn't know that shit and he said I'm listed on seven hundred thousand Seventy six thousand web pages, not including my website,. Seven hundred and six thousand websites have my name on it. I still can't sell out the third showing Saturday night what the fuck is going on our right I wish you find some shit out like if you want to find some shit like to do to you. I can't read what you guys right. If you want to find some shit out like to you do when you are on what I can't even paraphrase that if you want to find some shit out like

you do not like you do. When you are on the pod cast a right. You had an extra word in their dude, you want, some shit out, like you do, when you're on the Pied CAS use the above option the plus, minus or or use quotes you wanted to find the names of female serial killers a few weeks ago, just put quotes the phrase, and it will only show sites that contain phrases Ok, I get you you guys ever go to search something and you like you just right female serial killers and then a bunch hits will come up a bunch suggests a female and a bunch, several just say, cereal and other one just say killers or whatever. I guess, if you put quotes around at that, puts it altogether. You know you that's very helpful. I know this part of the costs of podcast. Isn't there funny, but God dammit will we get? We gotta learn something you should get some water him. My fucking mouth is dries. How are you

wrap up the park. Cashier ass. This is the circular topic bill, you wanna, be a serial killer and use the best weapon. You have to use ice. If you stay some with the high school or beat somebody death with ice, then it melt and you have no murder weapon or fingerprints, no dna or fingerprint price. Oh yeah, that guy who that talked about tracking down with the type of soil where it was located in the type of work used and all that shit is exactly that bullshit they were. Too many show CSI does not do that shit. I now do we all know he was just fuckin around. He was making fun of how when you watch those shows Whilst we got here question bill, you say that you play the drums. If you could play firms in any ban living our dead for one show one night only in any city in the world who would you play and.

And what's city FUCK Jesus Christ. It would either be led Zepplin. You know it's funny is. I think I would have a better plan better chance faking. What John Bonham does than what Phil Red does. An ac DC foot feel red does is so fucking difficult. If you play drums suggested there going born crack bomb crack for fuckin two hours straight, think I would play I would play of led sapling I do in England, Royal Albert Hall, and I would say- and I would play on that debt- the Ludwig that maple drawn kit that he played either that or is green sparkle kit and, unlike the Vista Vista, like it, he had or the stainless steel when I like the first two once did he had plant either. One of those and somehow I would sound, is good it can. I can I can. I have that is part of the fantasy That would actually sound is good as he would sound. You know, that's what I would do.

And then I get fuckin some nineteen sixty nine groupie pussy afterwards. Our next question bill. Would you rather be respected, be respected comedian, who never makes it really big? like so and so, and so, and so, unlike a name the names he named to people who are millionairess playing theatres, but I guess who can still walked down the three he said. Or would you rather be a one trick pony? I got Blah who is written one catchphrase to fame and fortune and as more cash, then he can ever spent. No I'm much rather be respected by my peers without a fuckin down. Without a doubt I would you know you can become a really big comedian and not necessarily be super. Like there s a great thing about entertainment. Is you it's easy to become? I can say

but you can become a millionaire and still not be famous. You know, I'm saying- and I always use this. This example like that sitcom Caroline in the city they actually made it to syndication in the entire cast, could walk by me on walking down the street. Then I would recognize any of them. So I would you know, there's your millionaire, how much fucking money do you need, and I also think the more I look at these people being super super famous. It is, I just doesn't look like a good time to me You know, I think I would I want to be a millionaire who has notoriety, which means maybe two three times a month. Somebody goes a year that comedian, I really like what you do and they ate thanks a lot, and I go back to my omelette I'd rather do that and fuckin there.

I don't know you know I don't I don't ever want to fucking have to step out of a limo with no panties on you know what I mean just so. I can maintain fame at that fucking level. Would you think that would we think that that would be miserable made other than one? you're out of the Fuckin Celtics game, and you have court side seats in that moment that fuckin awesome economy. I've always use this analogy, but it's Sunday at some point: you're gonna have to fuck and blow out a bathroom in public, and you don't want to be famous at that point. You know you just want to be like dude. He gave some fuckin guy just blew you don't want a bill. Burgess blew out the bats. They literally put a fuckin name toward its brutal, our right of re to underwrite a really quickly overrated beer with lime. Already in it, no joke it. Just taste, fuckin gross. What else do I got here? I'm sorry this is really

Second unravelling here I just I've done this too many times is fuckin weak. I don't like. I lost passion I give power guest saw was doing a fuckin cast. This is what it would sound like right now. You know what I'd be thump at my choice: actin, like I'm, giving you entertainment right now and I'm not. You know that when an end with this week. But are we got here, eight minutes and good I'll. Keep it under thirty minutes. I'm going to end with this prediction. I think Orlando is going to beat the Lakers and I think that they got they going to beat him in six games because they don't have anybody to stop Dwight Howard and I think her curlew is, I don't know, I think that guys go. Enough points, and then they got that other guy in the number two or see the point guard. I don't know shit about ass by just fuckin hate the Lakers, so I'm gonna go on a limb here with no, many down or nothin about going out on a limb, I just

play I got a feeling. I got a fucking feeling. Alright, I think Matt Van Gundy is going to out he's going to help coach, Phil Jackson, Phil Jackson, he's making home videos with his girlfriend his new hot young girlfriend on on his way to staple center. Every night, this soft, the fucking soft all they have is Kobe Kobe's. The shit I love Kobe, but I think his teammates are scared of them. I think they scared the fuck up around them. This scared to disappoint them and they just get freaked out and I just passed him the ball. That's what I think's going to happen. Pao Gasol gets the most quietest, fifteen fucking rebounds and the quietest twenty points, a game. I think he's going to he's going to take a fuck

White Howard Elbow to his bearded chops. Sometime in game too and Orlando's gonna win game too. They got three in a row in Orlando they're gonna win two out of three and then they gonna come back and they gonna beat the heartless like, as in the staple centre game six. What the fuck do you guys think about that? How you like that one? You know when you guys think about two to three to play a format. I think it's bullshit, I think, did they give the advantage to the weaker team, because the Lakers should have home court right and I don't think they do with a two three to format, because when it's two three too. The pressure is on the home team for the first two games right, if whose two to one one one like they used to do back in a back in the day you open the first two games, the press resolved on our Lando to steal one now two three to the pressures on the Lakers. They have to win both of those fuckin games. They can't go one.

And then have to play three Fuckin Games in Orlando right. My out of my mind, this is this all get boring, while I don't give a fuck is this is my third one this week busy my goddamn mouth is dry so anyways. I might do another podcast this week, as I might have a very special announcement of something that I might be doing next week that might be on television. I like that. I'm leaving you with a little cliffhanger And with that, I don't have any gigs. Until the third week in July, when I'm going to be at the comedy works in Denver. Why is that? I booked a very small part in a very big movie and I don't know if I'm shooting like five six days on it, but they had to clear out my spec my schedule because their work round. Famous people schedule saw em low man and they told him Paul so why I gladly cleared out my spare my schedule so why I'll? Let you know the name of the

views and all I type a shit. Why? When, in fact, I know that I haven't been cut out of it, has that right? and that's the very short, very succinct, Monday morning, podcast this week. The third fuckin time I praying to God at this thing is gonna actually get published. Alright, you guys have a good weaken thanks everybody who came out to the improv couple weakened.

Go out here in Hollywood, I right! That's it! Take it easy.