Bill rambles about Madonna, NFL Football and writing poetry.
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey: what's Goin on its billboard,
time for the Monday morning, podcast four January, twenty third, two thousand seventeen! What's goin on our.
Man, what a weekend wholly Toledo wholly Dayton,
always Sidney.
Only Cincinnati wholly Cleveland. What a fucker weekend I had good
Lord first of all, I sat there with an afghan
Some kleenex and watched the entire
women's March
I have to say I was so moved
on twenty eight march. The second about the army's. Why bring it up is too, like fifty thousand people on Twitter. Like do ok, we do you take on the women's March. I didn't like it. I cannot. I can't ike
Then I will tell you how much I believe and pro
testing, but how much I cannot watch it,
let down. I'm always disappointed. It's always
a bunch of bad chance. Like I watched the Madonna speech thing, I did do that just because
I you know I relate
Madonna, like
I also stated the party too long. You know
I became the old creepy person still at the club. I did I did it. I've done it
I totally get it
she's fuckin brilliant met. She goes there right,
Do you know she has all these eyeballs honour associate she's done this entire career? This is how you stay relevant array. Long after people give
Fuck, this is how you stay in this. She goes and she has doesn't give a speech.
Me now easy would it have been to give this speech without drop in the effort right. But if you do that
not going to get any free press that she chose a couple of f bombs in their God knows. I know how that works.
I made a lot of money off that word good for you Madge right, but that's not
be enough because she's thinking probably- and I had you know, I already kind of did the drop in the F bomb thing on the Letterman Interview like twenty years ago, critics
We, like out more of the same from Madonna blah blah blah. I need to take this to a new level. What does she do threatens to be
up the White House.
Gadabout blow it up the white, as did you did you really think that you thought
by doing that Madonna?
How did you think exactly? How are you going to execute this plan.
We're going to put on a wily, coyote suit and fuckin climbed the fence. Do little thing:
am I going around. You know you back and up the fuckin wire Madonna
return of? Did you you didn't think about that? You
now. If you say some shit like that.
Comes an issue of national security, no matter who the fuck says it. So there you gonna, get Fox NEWS going like surely have little as a terrorist threat right classic
and then what does she do? What is the cherry on top
she sings one of her head songs,
we're all those women how much fuck it
Maybe you think she made
the way
Do you believe- and this is my fourth album
I believe that first, the reputed off on the block
Ambition tore goes a little son like this.
Give me a doll baby,
You can download this latitude, you know, you know, I'm Gimme a fork and break fuck him
everybody up there with their fuckin.
Like a little I could watch like, I had to watch the Madonna thinkers when I heard she did that I was like this woman, she's, fuck and brilliant.
Don't woman is she is showbiz twice
for seven. That's why she still around. She did that
she's with tissue to got booed when she started thinking that song people should be like this bitch fuckin,
try to get ninety nine cents offer me
but that that's the only thing I want shows like five minutes but actually
watched her speech in the nose I go. I gotta hear the song, she thinks and it was fuckin perfectly
love that she sang the lady Gaga, some anyways,
and, of course, underneath all of those there was like. You know,
Some seventeen minutes speech from Michael more that
shameless burst out their trolling for pussy? You know, please,
The understood understand card,
I really hit I we dresses like John Goodman when he was on Roseanne. You know he's always walk around this big, dumb fuckin
just got done work and on the beetle assembling cars.
Fuck and had he wears
no, there's no fuckin with accounts it through that package. I can't sit to any of it in this than the stupid sheds and we're gonna do this and we can do that. You're gonna be like in your pocket,
hours and that's gonna, be the end of it you're going to get to say that you were there and you put your fuckin fist in the. I know this is cynically shit, but I mean trunk did the same thing. Did he not his accept,
then speech something else. I barely society of. I just watch the clips
comes when it comes to work. Like all
this type of ship. I just watch the highlights like if you never watched sports annoyed, that which is worse, sports.
You don't owe me, but you never watched the game. That's basically how I watched the ship prompted the exact same thing. He set up their God is,
what do you do know
You did it for themselves, world
it's one story
now, how Donald? How does it start now.
He sounded like a fuckin, some loud drunk in a bar.
Do you know what I would do if I was learning stuff
Gamala.
Anybody takes a dime fucking early sounded like
Did he just renting Untouchables it was
Kevin classes. Fucking speech in that movie like what you are, the president.
That's what I'm worried about that guy! I'm worried about that guy because he thinks, being president is like
just bought an old casino and he's going to go in and get
people that we're fuckin. You know
often around he's going to fire them and then replaced them. What it's like you can't get rid of these I get here really is people
approved that they're doing what you're saying you would have to expose all of them.
Both the blue ties and the red ties the red brows in the blue brass right. There
them collectively get together and be like this guy's gonna make us all look like fuckin scumbags we're just
can a work with with what he said was it's a bunch of us about your shit and she was not you're, not gonna. Do that this and other town works you're, not the boss. You can't go you're fired.
You have to run shit by people and then
and it becomes did they
they will all Democrats are already be a country you because you were a red tie and they going
the exact same shit, the Republicans, the Obama with a not going to work, because you have a different color tie
You come in and you gotta give some tough speech get out. He should have. Instead, they hold them like a bug. A piece of a to buy for new outlets
like. That was very young.
When you watch a movie in your enjoying a movie. Then all of a sudden the day just remind you that this is just a fuckin movie. Could you go? You know that that would never happen. That's what that speech looks like to me, but I didn't see it
I didn't see that either I just watch the highlights. Zebra
Seymour Bill, why didn't you see anything this week? It you know
because I had something a little more important in my life that happened. Ok,.
I had to watch the New England Patriots.
When the AIR Sea championship can't there was a battle this weekend, people.
And I don't mean women in peace.
Without voices standing in the rain wearing bore, raise or apply
dinner jumpsuit whatever the fuck
he was wearing that they use body. But my daughter's speech is the amount of
people milling around in the background not even listening.
Smiling looking listen for a couple seconds. You throw your head in the air and then you just go fuck and smooth with somebody else. Who is a big Fuckin Hollywood part, and I can see
Where can I watch three minutes.
There was another battle going on here: people.
And this this isn't that by the way, this isn't like an anti trump think this isn't an anti woman thing is just one of those things like what the fuck is. Everybody gets so excited about.
You ready, I said: are you ready in their own? Yes? And it's like for what? What are we doing? Where we going what's gonna happen, we're going to walk up there,
we're going to chance- some shit. Ok, you think twice.
Walked up, let's say they walked up to the White House because I don't know where they went. Let's say I'll start chanting. Ok, Donald Trump is in there.
First about me as a civilian: ok, I can go to a best buy. I can get a pair of those.
Those noise cancelling headphones and I can press a button, and I can't even here a fuckin jet engine that I'm on
Or the guy talking too loud on a cell phone, I can just press that fuckin thing and it's over okay and adjust the citizen. Can you imagine the pair of bows fuckin head?
found that you get headed when you become President
You don't have to hear the chanting of the disenfranchise right. I bet you can't even see you know they fit ran on meat is to put not to pay part of the part that still real that the Ben Franklin
Part of his fuckin here do right, but we just sticks administer.
You're, no other ladys there. You probably just set their right to with his binoculars on,
Robin himself as he's looking out the window, I'm sorry.
I wondered I become such a cynic. You know what I like to think its life experience, but what are you gonna do
what are we gonna? One's gonna happen? Nothing because we all have to leave.
We're gonna go work tomorrow. We have to go to work, pay back,
He knows more about Madonna shown up to this. One is like: do you live in England? Why the fuck did you go to that? Rarely I wanted to
blow up the fuck away. So you can, I see your passport. Please did you go to
Customs First era, Jesus just stay
the party staying at the club to fuck it long?
What I'm doing is a challenging the images of what is set down in that no, you know you know
not challenging anything. I get it
If she was a guy, she be that guy at the Christmas Party who headed to develop those guys
put the Thai around their head and it becomes like. You know. This is their big rebellion like that. That's. Why should she be that person with the fuckin man tits.
You know saying wildly inappropriate thanks to some fuckin in turn,.
Just walks in the work on Monday disaster. Now look at anybody just close the door to his office and work. How long? How long do I have to just
feel the shame of of my behavior last Saturday night.
Anyway, there was another battle going on. It was to battle between
city obliged in then the city
spurred etc with all the screaming yellin. This fuckin weaken,
Love anybody notice that yesterday in the
sporting world the world that you can actually trust. Will they do
Speeches locker of speeches in every actually is on the same team than go go out together. They try to achieve a goal.
The Boston Bruins in Pittsburgh, penguins
Wait each other on the same day that the New England, Patriots and the Pittsburgh Steelers placed nine. Only if you feel that from this
country or if you just a tiny, maybe they well, I mean it's a really. The Boston is the Bruins, not the patriot,.
You guys know why the patriots called the patriots? This is really actually a sad tale about this team. We were the Boston patriot.
Initially
ended up happening was because
You know they were in the yourself when it was an upstart league.
And all the town water was in Vienna felt nobody.
Gave a fuck. So in an effort,
to try to get more fans. They switched from Boston.
They thought if they said New England, they could get enough people
going down from main New Hampshire Vermont up from Connecticut.
In Rhode, island to make
fill up a little bit of Fenway Fuckin pack, wherever they played Nackerson feels all these places with
played. That's the reason why so anyways so the first game, the Bruins come out right.
And they play Pittsburgh for half the game. We were doing all right. You know
to have the game. It was fuckin two to one
Then I don't know what happened
I don't know what happened. I didn't see the game I was
You know don't some other shit, but I was watching on my phone. It was I to one of my guide to hang in there. They hang in there and then I fucking, I don't I felt like I walked around for twenty minutes. I looked
but my phone, it was like five to one we get fuckin smoked so.
You know people given me shit on Twitter, gonna, there's one say
get em de patriot and I gotta be honest with you. I had no.
Feeling one way or the other about that gang yesterday. As far as like you know what he thinks gonna happen, I had no fucking idea. Nothin was going
surprise me
he was came in again beat Us
it wasn't a surprise me
the way, just look bad against a Texas, and I was not you know, didn't have too much carbon,
there are often of line, and I know Pittsburgh always has like a great defensive line and that type of shit. So I don't know what the fuck was going to happen. So I was,
surprised.
You know how well everything worked yesterday and just fucking amazing, and I was sitting there watching the game.
On this hospital tv, you know, and the
tv was so fucked up.
Is because you know that's fucking hospital tv to like it has like that.
Those waves they used to do when someone was going into like a fuckin like a dream sequence. That's what I was too that's what it was like
could you tell what quarter was, but how much time was left to? Thank God they kept saying what the FUCK scores Jessica barely see. It.
Now.
I did as it was in the hospital has just spoken. Watch football games on this fuckin tv
You said like these lines. Just they want do unlike the book. The way we think they would just sort of you know just gone from left to right bridges and they just just
fucking gonna could see what's goin on so, but for
finally, I was sitting there when I watch the game with,
a brand new baby die like,
am I just for all gave was one that fucking great is arguably the greatest moment of my life
Did I mention that,
forget to bring that up that all fuckin Billy the kid list is. Finally, a father
yeah my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect he's absolutely.
We're just and our spare you all the cliches. You know
that everybody says
One thing I really did learn throughout this whole process
which is really is the guy you're observing this amazing thing.
Is that you just don't tell us how many fucking people that
can t you know. I know I sit on the fucking progress, but I don't run into you. Guess I mean in your life. Don't tell me people, you haven't a fuckin kid because I swear to God the amount of
information or even if it's good information like a lot of people, don't how to vote.
Convey information in a compelling way, so you just sitting there
just smiling thinking. When is this going to be over.
Yeah people will fourteen
it's so not state that whatever they went through, they tell you that that's what you're gonna go through, so you end up going in there and you have everybody else's experience in your fuckin head swimming around when the reality is. This is not
their experience? It's your experience,
However, you react whatever you do, whatever you think in all. That is fine. It's your fuckin experience because I will sit now miss having taken out of our experience. Thinking like why- and I freely this- why
failing this. Instead of that, I thought I was gonna feel this blah blah. I was literally in my head for like fucking, not like fifth,
minutes so many
how's. That was my fault. I was my weekend. It became a father. I get to see the pay.
Just go to their unprecedented ninth Superbowl, so my way,
in my beautiful daughter come home today. I have to do
Jimmy Camel show because I'm
promoting my next stand up special that comes out on Netflix on January. Thirty, first, take that
I'm in theatre in Nashville, Tennessee.
You know, which is home of the original Grendel, operate and legendary place. I get the played a number of years ago, when I did its funds. Wild West Comedy tore festival thing
How about their national and, of course, like every
the former who goes there. You just fall in love with the place is a magical place, so I got to do
my special there, and you know that
proud of this one and if you guys can get the word out just let people know that
That I got special come out it's on January thirty, first
but basically people gotta watch it. If you watch it, then it comes up on the thing where people can actually see it in the sea,
thing where people can actually see it in the sea of, like twenty million, shows that they have on that worldwide,
worked. So please tweet about it. Facebook
about its social media about acknowledged type of stuff, and I hope you guys enjoyed I'm really brought.
This special. I love the way came out and all that stuff. So that's what
get going on in my wife and daughter come home tonight. So that's it!
this is the last time my house is gonna, be quiet, but I've been
Having a great time so far got my fucking diaper change and thing down my sweet,
Game is it like I'd, say you know it's about.
Eighty percent, as like the big
the thing I socket burping, I'm not good at that.
Has any is only so hard. You can go on babies back before you think like him. I am. I
beating a baby rain. I don't do this so anyways
anyways. I forgot this too. I gotta see my apologies once again to
weeks in a row to the Atlantic.
Falcons. I saw so sorry that I doubt eyes
Jesus Christ, the Atlanta Falcons, look like Fuckin world leaders. I've been converted into short
weeks I went from. Is this the fuckin team that had to pump in
proud noise because
so quiet at their fuckin stay
the empty they did. They have to do that a couple years ago. Did they get caught doing that and everybody laughed because it wasn't the New England Patriots cheating so that it wasn't it
federal offense did
That happened, isn't that the French
We're talking about here what they got: some little slap on the fuckin risk, where the patriots, what it got, twelve zillion dollars and fuckin find than in lost a bunch of first round draft pics,
it's ok! It's ok! We got we gotta look set for second cause. We saw little Red the uniform them all. That's not the patriot, so that its use is sort of funny. Isn't that this franchise?
now look at the place of places, pact places pact,
everybody's loud, and I gotta tell you something right now. Eighty percent of the people in that Fuckin stadium should have been hanging them so tat their fuckin heads in shame, because where,
were you
where were you when they were bad
You know where you were you goddamn, Georgia fans. You can't even shop to the braves when they make the fuckin play out. You can't even sell out you fuckin stadium
no. I dont get it Lana when it comes to their type, a shit. I don't I don't get it like. They just stand. There not approve city, fucking town they lost two hockey keeps you don't owe me twice divorced.
They had the Atlanta flames right, wasn't it
They have Bobby, ordered all these great guys in the seventies come into their town. They didn't give a shit,
down the street rat between them. Hedges haywire
but it's a fucking college. Football is what they thought. They were doing and wondering what the innate shall say. I what what? What? What? What? What were? We think it's get the fuck out of here and they went
Calgary became a cavalry flips right.
And then, for whatever reasons, because their dna shall you know because
dear stubborn Goddammit
gotta put another team and their twenty fucking years later. Here you go there,
thrashers, which
never undoubting what the fuck did is thrashes by about threats.
I just picture somebody shaking their kid.
You know remain in your sitting there in the car next to him in the parking lot going at what point away intervene,
The cuban their logo right some adult
She's gonna die, but I know
a bad image, but it's a tough gave too tough fucking game. Now what happened
in short, the rosy them so they they say fuck
Move then the winner Peck
this faculty guys in ourselves. Another great everybody shows you know every bodies
in point. They had everybody's you, no fucking do and that that millennium thing, when you
aims doing well, and you start fucking vigorously nodding and turning around at the rest of the crowd of that when drives me up there
can Walden Nodding thing,
these that I think that sign language for all day anyways, but Jesus Christ, that fuckin team?
if there's any justice in the world they gonna go in, is Superbowl favorites, but they're, not what's great
they're they're gonna be able to
use that, as you know, whatever, but
They say tat to get them high data believe and us blah blah blah blah blah. It's not going to be disrespect to the falcons. What it is is won the Superbowl comes around is what a bunch of me
Oh, don't watch sport show up,
going to show up and be like who is playing in the game.
Tom Brady, the patriots I know who this team is. The falcons did that
Are they from Tennessee like people who don't know, sports will note the patriots and they'll just throw a hundred bucks in the game and they'll put it on the patriots cuz? That's the fucking teen. They know which
The line is vague, as tries to get money on both sides of the border. So that's what's gonna, that's what's gonna happen it that's why
but that you and the Patriots loss to the giants which won the first time.
When are we are undefeated? That's why we were seventeen fucking point favorites, not because we were seventeen point favorites, because every mouth breathing dumb can't that went to Vegas
put money on the undefeated team and they were trying to get money on this
the other side of the ball and if you don't fucking, believe me a month earlier, we paid we play the giants we want. Unlike the last drive the last second and we lit up like thirty three fucking
What's in one by like three or four, how
months later you
come on seventeen point favorite to it.
A month earlier, you played in only one by four points. If you can t do not figure out the fuckin math on that one is beyond me, so I'm predicting that the patriots are going to go in
gonna be considered the favorites
but they're, not, I think the falcons favorites and I think this is their year. I think they're, a team of destiny. Ok, now people
who are into superstructure, know exactly what I'm doing, because you think
oh you're, patriots, fear and other fuck. Would you how the hell did you ever say that, guy
system, your people with
falcons plate, Seattle. I said Seattle was gonna win and who want those dirty birds of Georgia, dirty filthy inbred, fuckin birds in Atlanta, right, Download, bird,
Thirdly, of Atlantic Georgia. Right then, last week they go to play. Aaron fucking around
in the Green Bay Packers? And what did I say? I had a little more respect: they're gonna go at the Green Bay Packers and one of those dirty stinking filthy, fuckin birds
they went in there and green,
got their asses by those glorified pigeons right.
By those fuckin seagulls by those filthy, dirty birds at someone.
What goes on in Atlanta economy, even
like logo, has a fuckin std right outside of the bedrock anyways. So I've picked against them two times
both times to falcons whence another plain mighty in the Superbowl, so here's my philosophy
now I'm gonna pick it live now.
Say that they're gonna win. I gotta be honest with you if, if
and is getting points you're out of your mind, not the can take. I think personally, therefore, can defences unbelievable,
fuckin Julio Jones is like like he doesn't. Even look like he looks like he's. Is
He lives in a full grown adult plane would like high school. Kids therefore can pass
colleagues, you started shredding tackles then at last
Guy Game like two or three Steph arms like a job get the fuck out of my face. Go fuck yourself, right there, Fred Touchdown!
that guy's a major fuckin problem. They are running.
Is a major fucking problem.
Obviously Mary ICE, looking like the M Vps, fortunately they get. The three headed monster then gone on an offence and their defence. I don't know anybody's fuckin name. All I know is the flying around the failed fuck it up everything
that I think is gonna beat himself if they're gonna get points.
That's a pretty good bet. If you ask me so well sake will see what happens. You not Bela checks, gonna, doorways, gonna, double fuckin, oleo
John Daddy's guy drive back and then knowledge. I have no fucking idea. What's going to happen, I have no idea. I've been
busy, and I'm so happy that my wife is no longer pregnant. You no other
adds out? There know what it's like in that final fuckin, the final fuck a month
just so brutal words disliked there so uncomfortable and there's literally nothing. You can do
most helpless feelings I've ever had, and I'm just so
happy that now she's on the other side of that, and I was
as thrilled for her
as it was for myself becoming a dad just that cheap did that was over? So
Christ. I already knew my wife was tough, considering the amount,
like are you lose most fuckin arguments dark ass, she just but watch I go through what the fuck she went through Jesus,
whole level new level of respect for her toughness. Here, I
my wife. What she went through could literally watch.
You have see event in Bulgaria.
Is it possible that so
anyways, where I gotta get to reach some fuckin advertising here, don't I sit near run in my YAP or where we go near?
Where are we going to my point
ass words. Sorry we go.
Let's get to the earlier. We Jesus Christ or united
to bring up by the way
remind me, I want to talk to you about this move that Aaron Rodgers does as a qb. I didn't see him do it all day. Yesterday I got talked about cuz. I might forget, he's got this. Fucking move is really bright.
When they do look at seven step drop right. This did people
Russian in from either side in the tackles a block.
And you see that they're gonna get around them
outside
an Aaron Rodgers is just gone far back enough
that's the line to sack, and so the move
quarterbacks do in that moment. Is they then stepped back up into the pocket? So the
guys you know
Surely they go around the outside or have to try to go to the inside and then their back in front of the tackle ok
you know, sometimes they still break through what he does. He starts to step up and it gets between
tackles so
those guys who a russian to the outside then try to make a move to go to the insight, and then he immediately the secondary both commit to go back inside he pops back to the fuckin outside and he actually
with that movement has
tackles lot lined up with their men. It's fuckin amazing it does it. All.
Time- and you just say Much- and Tom Brady Jesus Christ. You see that
sector stealer had more like I swear to God. It was like Tom, the battery
if he was like a robot. They shorted out for half a second he's just didn't see the guy in any kind of like
ho bloody gettin freaked out, then he spent around and laid down
my dear headlights on that one is just not the most mobile fuckin guy. In the
World, but everybody knows that, so I don't
that move is this shit and is something I don't understand.
That no wide receiver does, you know when they do like a fuckin, reverse double reversal. Whenever and you know, when
defences string in and out it's not gonna work. You can see. It's not gonna work,
and it's just dying of slow death
I dont mean when you know it doesn't work in the receiver gets the right there friend, obviously topped the ball away, but our common
dying a slow death. What are these
doing this OJ fuckin dancing around shit. Why don't they just throw the ball away for an incomplete rather than taken the fucker.
Five to seven yard loss.
Has anybody ever seen? Anybody do that that that is my that's my football question for this week.
Is anybody seen a wide receiver
reverse and it wasn't,
fuckin workin out of fucking. Nowhere
has anybody seen a wide receiver, just basis
We do that play is what is all I'm asking for the love of God. Can somebody fuckin tell me that you ve seen it?
I understand why they don't do that. Why the fuck would you do it? Then you that you don't get hit,
You don't lose a bunch of bill. We gave our era. Let me read the advertising for this week are right, shit, everybody, but
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hey guys. I try to make some beef regime the other day,
not fuck an easy thing to do. I don't know to I tell you I came out. I told you that on Thursday I think I did. I did
I figured out my recipe. You got a slow cook it for ninety minutes, not sixty minutes or I have to learn how to tender rise, beat a little bit better and he learned
beat the meet a little, you get it little jirga, jug damp. Sorry! Now let some can I talk about everything I wanted to talk about the purchase. I believe I did. I believe I did.
Demons fuckin lairs is my wife keeps tell me to go to the firehouse to make sure the fire station to make sure that the kid seat is put incorrectly, which act I think
It is a matter for good, I think a bunch of you know I'd try to rip it out. I could rip it out. You don't owe me, and I think my fuckin arms- that just as strong as it to car accident right so
going over the fire out twice.
The one in my name, I bent over the two fuckin times every time I've ever gone by their pockets, firehouse.
Proxy, there's somebody as fuckin washing.
Every time I go by the house to fuckin fires nobody's their toxic
I'm ringing the doorbell and there's nobody there
Soon I think, about maybe least ago makes the fuckin chile. He doesn't hang back the second time.
What did the fucking TV was so.
I've been drive around my wife's car, which I didn't like it. First always fuckin cars
shaped like dinner rules, they all of exact fuckin, same
but now I am actually kind of like it took me a minute or two fuckin Brodsky what'd, you do
anyways. Let's let me read some of the questions for this. We did. I fucking copy and paste them today at least do that for the love of Christ. Now I didn't, of course, now. Why would you do
I built. If you did something like that, and that would mean that you are actually fuckin paying attention are either
You're, ok, weight loss, slash fat, shaming,
their Billy Bassa net. I actually.
The best, and it is now Congrats
On pregnancy, in you and the loving, you will make pretty good parents that's
there's I'm emailing you, because I wanted to thank you and your Rogan for all of your shit.
It enabled me to lose a hundred and twenty pounds. That's
whole person? I started back in November. Two thousand,
didn't do that's amazing have kept. It often can
we need to get to my goal of two hundred
twenty pounds. I was three fifty seven when I started he goes, that's a fuckin plain
it gives a gun. Isn't it
eighty seven magnum
anyway, thanks for
for the shame and motivation. You freckled can't good luck and best wishes to you and your growing family twenty seventeen in the coming years. By
go fuck yourself in the best way possible thanks, stranger,
What that meets, anyways of do that's great. I could use some advice because I've been doing
last few weeks,
I should really say, like the last two months of NEA Ordeal, is what I'm gonna call it, because it was not a bright like that. Pregnancy is a fucking. Ordeal is sick
fuckin. Third, and then this is
eye of the storm, the second trimester, and then that is just like it's fuckin orb. You know
You don't have any sympathy for your wife during pregnancy, you're, not love with their. You fuckin married the wrong person. I can tell you that so anyways anyway
I put on some I a little bit away, not none too crazy. I kept it in the fuckin elliptical by just kept making comfort, food,
and then what would happen was you know she need a little bit of it. Sort of like it.
And then all the son would just be totally for whatever reason hormonally would be totally turned off by like the next Fuckin day, and I made enough,
people and I'm not gonna, throw it out
you know what I mean. So I got a fucking. I get a finish it.
I almost the whole shepherds pie myself.
Beef regime Sheikh. She goes to heavy. She could deal with itself
This was a red meat a couple times a month of heading four times this week at so,
You know what I'm finished today with the salad
We'll make myself salads either. I just I just never know what the fuck the pudding.
You're gonna be my fine just I just started with basic rights are going to grow.
Historians. What I've been doing lately has been working for me as I go. Then I get that pre washed fuckin. Let us today
Evan there you know cause you know. Basically
a few people had to die by unwashed fucking. Let us now they washed up force. So you get that shit. I get three different, colored peppers,
ring read the orange. I cut those fucking things up cut up some cucumbers.
Through all of that, Nepal,
some tomatoes on the vine in a bull outside the fridge,
parmesan cheese, and then I just have everything all chopped up and ready to go free, shredded.
Fuckin farmer, John, and all that night. When I get hungry before you some stupid, I just make a quick fuckin salad,
A bit of Paul Newman's, fuckin balsamic than a great on it. I make a face like gotta,
fuck and eat this, and then a couple bites anyway you're into its over you gotta go on like this
fuckin right at term paper back in the day, you can put it up. Put enough, though, when you finally set down you just fuck, it did safety within the south,
I try to do that in all from when he passed like seven o clock
it really have, and then I have a scotch
It's the wrong! Burgundy, diet.
Ever work meeting
dear Billy, renting than the one that cuts I work with.
TAT s me to share an inspirational quote or palm during our by monthly team, meaning sorry.
Cancer, where you asked me to share an inspirational quota palm during our by monthly team meeting. Oh my god,.
Well, this is ever a sign. You got to quit this fucking job personally. I'd rather tell them to go fuck themselves, but since this would be frowned upon, I find myself in need of your expertise. Do you have any
operational quotes that you can share with me so that I can keep it.
Ending that I'm not dead inside
You're not dead inside what you are you're, an intelligent human being. Who knows that this is silly and you're sick of being traded treated like a fuckin child.
This is like some shit that, like when I was still in school in as
that there with my hands folded on my desk. Do I swear to God the the corporate world is so fucking cold and
out of touch with like how human beings even fuckin work, or
they totally understand. This is how they just break your spirit,
it is as you probably you guys have these mine, numbingly boring, fuckin jobs right. They public
pay enough money for you to be fuckin excited by so now. What they're going to try to do is have you. You know
go out and then can do it for you. They want even come up with a fucking. You know.
Their own, like little love like the raiders, just wind baby, you know to me the Cubs. Let's play
They can we come up with their own. This is this: is their fucking job.
Look, you know what you have to do, but what I would love to do is write your own fucking palm, where it all rhymes you just trash in this thing, whatever the fuck,
exercises what rhymes, with cunts.
Let's see.
One of the most exciting, plays in baseball theirs
a speedy hitter lays
a bunch.
I am dead inside, I don't know,
This job,
certainly not work, and what you can't.
Consider this my last
working day.
Don't worry! I dont have a gun, but I was
To say fuck, all of you.
And your mother's too,.
Now, I'm out of a job. I don't know what I'm gonna do. They know usually go on get drunk. I don't want it
dog winds. Marathon, hey Billy Pro
bleed to death. I am I'm a father now, which means I now get to fuckin act like I know so
that people who don't have kids know don't
Whatever you know, they do you, don't you baby logging in your eyes
shut up, you didn't wear.
Kind of a right that is your fucking big, that's
That's what you did right, stop acting like you walked in the move out. Do you have a baby online? What is it,
a billion are those fucking things.
Like saying you have a half hour, I d,
when's marathon, hey Billy, probably a dead thought. You like this story,
but it's my hat thought you'd like.
The story, a dog, left its house and started running a marathon and ran alongside runners in Finnish. The whole thing
finish seventh congrats?
patients get the fuck out of here. Now I have to
this video.
He ran the whole fuckin. Now we didn't.
Lou divine
The vine around the entire thirteen point one miles without a leash or human companion. Ok for a small thirteen point. One miles is not America, o half marathon, sorry
see other misinformation starts. He fucking called
Marathon and I start blaming CNN
when's marathon, one half a marathon see you already started the lie.
Give C p r amp d run in a fuckin marathon
runners in Alabama may have bitten off more than
petition and the intensive painted in a race earlier this month. I now make sense because I was like who, what kind of a fucking dog owner would we,
front door wide open and the goddamn thing just runs out in runs
thirteen miles away
obviously somebody in Alabama
Doug finished in the top ten in the Elk Mont
half marathon, the trackless,
ain't track on
January sixteenth and has been quite the
internet sensation? What does a trackless train track?
To be train tracks, there.
Was this the underground rail road, as this is how the slaves got out of it.
Here. We later they were this way, but we could we blocked it. Now. We just do a marathon
why people only Marathon elevates the act like I do to raise
Why people are only in the south, that's natural, where everywhere
Lud vine, a bloodhound lives near by and a bloodhound all I
can love those tests on a bloodhound
It is, but one is runs its faces. All flying backward so looks like a fuckin retriever. That's one of my favorite dogs. Ever God, damn it's making me miss. My dog islets clouded is led by a bloodhound
lives near by the way. Update on Clio is the new one or sent me a fucking picture, and it was up on the couch sleeping like a baby, loving life
probably doesn't even remember us, kids, it's a dog and it lives in the fuckin present.
So that was that was good to see, but I myself, like a fuck,
He was she competing without a human or leash
or a dozen even run. That's what
Sister, I you know what I don't like the story. I dont like this. I don't like this is one of these just like, let's just go
nah altogether basing its decision
hard warming story for everyone, one
duration, I do push up a bitch tits. Yet my wrist,
that's what the most popular ones you guys always communist Billy budgets.
Deliberation. I do push up son of a bitch tits, yet
I recently proposed to my girlfriend congratulations and we're getting married in December. Congratulations when my leg.
Ask me who I wanted. As my best man, I realized, I wasn't close enough to anyone to ask them
I have friends in coworkers and family, but I'm not really close with them, not enough to choose one best man anyway. So what there is this a fuckin
pitch for a Hollywood movie.
Didn't Kevin hard have didn't. This is a cavern harm movie. So
That being said, what are the chances of you showing up and being my best man? If not, can you get me in touch with Joe Rogan? Thank you.
Where's your raw wish. You weren't gonna, be it if I got a gig.
If I get a gig nearby, Alpha can do it.
I'll come down whatever you need take something about what the something that a lot of people don't know about. Larry. Ok, this guy.
Fuckin guy listens to the Monday morning, podcast starting the Madonna.
I'll. Just start hyping my fucking podcast
What are you gonna? Do the Madonna thing unaware break.
You know, or I came here- I thought about blown up this fuckin reception area
because I didn't like the case
I used to grow on the left and that the people read from left.
Why is it the lady first Eddie I? What the fuck
What I do at our maybe I do that I have no fucking idea.
Now, I'm not going to do it. Cuz I have to go to the whole fucking ceremony represent the ring and do all of that shit. I want to fucking do that
To be at my wedding, you know I had a great time.
So I learned about myself too: I swear to God.
Fuck and learn about myself is the level of social anxiety that I have that the
of big moments in my life said, if I could just fast forward through them and get on the other side of them. I would gladly do it tonight,
I mean after I have the experience. I always think like well what the fuck was. I so you know anxious about
I assure you do know.
I D, like my wedding, was on the best knights of my life.
Get off. My wife wanted to labour and shit
Moreover, there and everything you know that
That part of me wishes going like just thinking, like I
this is over as quickly as possible and it was wasn't. There was a selfish started had nothing to do with, like all my wife going through anymore. This pain, which I definitely them
the most emotional I got listen, her scream and, in fact pain was that was fuckin brutal.
Anyways Butler,
I have this feeling like. If I could, just like it
fast forward and just beyond the other side of this thing,.
I would do it in the second and I thought about that. Like my entire fuck, it
if it had never really real, as they have is social anxiety with all this shit, like I just wanting, I just get fuckin through it, get on the other side
Among the other side, I made it through nothing. Humiliating happened. Now I can fuckin relax. I felt like that, like
First
Probably nine years of every stand up, show that I did
like the level of relief that I had after like once again and stage. I would be fine
and then you just doing your act in an even if your bombing or whatever it's like it's the clock has started and with every sex.
Its closer. The event is clear.
So the being over. You know, I mean it
it's the waiting and not knowing that's that's what is always always fuck.
Given me anxiety, like on the Stanhope, shows that I've done and
Impossible situations that you go through as a comedian when you coming up for me,
it was never
is already over by the time I got on stage, because now
just go out. Then I just deal with stuff, and you know you tell people go fuck themselves, the applause three. Do they get you in you look stupid. You fill again ass all but
you say good night and then it's over and then you can just fuckin relax, but it when you
Standing there for me for me
you stand, there decided the fuckin stage waiting or metaphorically you know go in there,
I mean I don't. I can't believe it was one of the craziest fuck. It weakens of my life, you know,
from the women's Marge to Donald
gettin sworn in to the page.
Scotland or another Fuckin Superbowl
come on a day was a hell of a hell of a four days. I can tell you that, and I don't know
Thankfully we actually know jobs aside that I finally get to have that experience of becoming a dead because it was getting to the point of like I don't know. If I'm gonna were at an off, I'm gonna get
experience and it's it's weird I feel. Like I lived my youth street.
To my golden years and now,
the middle part I'm just doing it. I was joking. I think I've made a set of some pockets. Unlike live in my life like a tyrant, Tino movie words like completely out of sync, you know John Travolta is walking by in the background
you know the diner seen imperfection my ruining this. How do I stop say spoiler alert, even though that Fucking movie came out like
Two years ago, twenty three years ago,
waste that is the the podcast for this week, tune into Jimmy Camel tonight.
I don't know what I'm gonna do I don't want to go to
can talk about. All I know is I get the the pre interview coming up, but we're so
two things you'd like to touch on. How can I
the current poem for my part,
cast, I don't think so,
we shall see, will see how this one goes. Some very exciting, never done the Jimmy Camel Show and here's something
so cool they fuckin guys. I met him one time.
There goes down at LA go, we're gonna, be
bill, burn friends on January thirty. First, unless you gonna go boulevard right down here in Hollywood
He came down to the show to see somebody else and I met him. Then I started talking to more how Bill Walsh wrote this book. There was beaten at the height of his, you know just being like
the bill check, Vince Lombardy Guy of his error. He was approach to write a book on.
Ball and he wrote like you, keep pace
equally showed the outline and he had diagram plays, and it was like. You had to be a coach to understand the book.
And the the publisher, whatever the company he was doing, the book with was basically they gonna. Do you gotta, like we can put this book out like you, ve gotta, be like you go get
football coach to even understand.
Any of this shit.
The pictures you Joe Montana Habits and family stories about blarney, which just like now, you want me right, write a book.
About football: this is it right here and he just fuckin put out this think so the book bombed.
As far as not making money.
With just regular Jos, like even myself, the amount of football that I watch, but amongst coaches? Evidently, that book became like a Bible and if you
fine, like a hard cover version. You find him on the internet thing they go for like three four hundred bucks or something like that.
Nah.
Arose. Tat has talent Jimmy that story, and he was laughing them. You know was funny or whatever and
Joking going like it. I want to actually get that book, maybe finally understand the cover to defence or whatever the fuck. You, the nickel defence, in that type of shit, so sure enough, like fucking
three weeks later. I get this package
from Amazon. It was from him any
actually bought me the book down. I thumb, throw it didn't. I tell you it's like you, you, it's ok, if you feel like
stole a teams play book,
so anyways so, but I've never been able to do, is show every time I try to do is show like something would come up. So this is my
This time doing it
it does so tune tonight. I'm open, I'm gonna, go there and be able to repay by being a little bit funny on a show, but once again by new stand of special.
Rocky way out comes
January thirty, first on Netflix, please tweet about a please let everybody no
and that's it think those are the podcast
Talk to you later I'll talk to check it out here on Thursday, I too.
Transcript generated on 2020-02-26.