Nick Kroll returns for the fourth time! He and Matt talk about how they get confused for each other a lot, filming the last season of his TV show The Kroll Show and their views on the OJ Simpson trial. Nick also remembers living in The Oakwood apartments one pilot season, Matt talks about his weight loss and why Chris doesn’t need to sleep!
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Walking in the nervous podcast six hundred and twenty nine also. Thank you so much. If you came out to see myself in April Richardson performing this past weekend in Portland in Denver, the shows were unbelievably fun and I am super psyched. I was there.
Service going into the fun comfortable tour 'cause, I said I just wasn't sure you know there are pieces of the set
like I don't know. If this is working and it's all seems to be working well now, so I feel good and the next date is February. Twenty seventh in Chicago there's, an eight in ten thirty show there and then March Thirteenth in Saint Louis and then in April and May and June. Just a run of dates got a fun, comfortable, tour dot com. If you want to get tickets and info the idea of fun cover was basically, it was kind of inspired by some advice that I got from my per biglia a couple years ago, where you said you know, go to a place where your not we're just kind of on the edge of comfortable or just being passed compliment right from the
at and then when he said that a light bulb went off that I have nothing a bunch of those kinds of stories where there's just like it's like borderline crane g, where, like dial, why would someone say or do that and and it because I've been essentially socially awkward in interpersonal situations, for pretty much my entire life? So I just for fun there is there isn't any reason and for this, but if you
have similar stories and you want to post on Twitter or tell them photographical instagram or make a video hashtag, amv, uncomfortable and
let me know treat me and we'll maybe we'll read some on the next time we do a hopeful podcasts which, by the way, we're doing our five year anniversary, show tonight five fucking years of the Nerdist podcast we're just doing a small little show up meltdown tonight live. So I just thank you guys so much for allowing us
to do this for the last five years, we really really really really appreciate it. It's been the most incredible experience and giving us all the best things we could have ever hoped for, socially and and career wise and
in spiritually. I have learned- and I continued to learn from our guests and from you guys. So, thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. We will post that this Friday will post the live five year anniversary podcasts going to be hopeful.
We didn't at all time when it was, I was going to be in it, but he ended up having to go. Should something a man who were so it's gonna be a hopeful, podcasts, just us and then and a bunch of claimants, and and will celebrate the five years. This episode is Nick
troll. The final season of Kroll Show is on comedy Central tuesdays at one thousand and thirty, so watch that there
Here's news podcast six hundred and twenty nine with Nick Kroll up three peat
now entering nowenteringnerdist dot com
all right, some sort of against. We will three feet
yeah third appearance on the patio yeah, I'm I'm I'm going to soak every God, damn fucking listen or you got Nick and I or discussing how on Twitter. We both get that we look like each other. Yes, I'm the fat version of Nick Kroll and I'm skinny men, so it works out, which meant I just gotta say it's the only time that skinny is a part of my descriptive, so I'm grateful and we both got be.
Right now. It's really something else. Yeah
you just reminded me of this is so weirdly specific.
Then we'll get back to how you guys like each other, is the can
social in uh back to the commercial. In back to school,
where Ronnie Dangerfield has the Thornton melons like that on fat shot, and then it goes 'cause. If you want
look skinny! You hang out with fat people. I don't know that commercial is amazing. That movie is by the way, have you watched that movie recently in the last couple of years, but I do enjoy it. It's hilarious, but it's like it's so crazy 'cause! It's not he's not acting he's just doing jokes he'll be like you know, like
my last wife gave me a headache which means you know she
I can't do. Do Rodney didn't, read it and then, like the older professor, who he's in a romantic relationship with like thoughts
Sally Kellerman, yes, Sally Kellerman, he's less, you know it's like the only
that the only had my ex wife would give me a headache. Yeah, that's right! Those
this is rose around him. Yeah like he just had to show up and be himself, and they just rode around in there tended that he was. They got the active at all.
It was the act right you got, you got our dj. Robert Downey Junior is fantastic and then so be it. I wonder what the process of writing that was if it was like, if I believe it was lame, as directed it did you
direct back or no he produced at I'm sorry. He produced it for sure, but it's yeah, but he was like these are the jokes. I want to do figure it out. I think so,
basically and then that guy his son is like the most on charismatic guy. I have ever seen on film. Well, that's key he's a big tour he's director. He directs a time,
and by that I mean he's one of the trade, I'm just
Did he was able to take his tally? Yeah, I'm the characters where she was in Christine too yeah, and it was, I think he cordoned yeah Gordon, and look what is directed. Who else? Is
there a couple other people in there that are their young
yeah, the bully is the guy from Karate kid, the bullies, it Williams,
Billy, Zabka and then William Young who's in rocky. Yes, oh the he's,
please Poli Poli yeah he's like he's the driver, slash muscle, yeah, keep order,
Dexter, the killing masters of sex homeland. Really a lot of software. I think you're on charismatic miss would be a very helpful and, like I said, listen case,
don't listen to Matt Myron, smaller back MIRA, Chris Hardwick, no listen, Amanda, Myra and Matt Maretta mean I need.
So it's even see my daddy, oh, no, sorry, Mommy Rani to I am all on board for yeah. That's right, 'cause! He he had a run of a couple movies in a very distinct period of time and then just started directly. I think a lot of those guys, smartly or like what am I doing like. Why am I being straight men to Randy Dangerfield like why? Don't I go direct
constantly and go make a pile of money and not deal with anyone. Personally, I think is as if you know, if you're just an act,
you're sort of hoping like, I hope I die
in the right direction to keep working yeah yeah yeah, maybe because I'm not I'm not going to be leading up, I could be leading guy forever, maybe I'll get character. Who knows what's going to happen right and so having a back of skills resume directly character? If
got like the Timothy bus fields of the world who, like goes and directs a bunch versus like the guy who looked like Michael Bay right
and there is the there's thirty something who looks Peter Horton. Yes, who looks a lot
like Michael Bay yeah. They both had that late, 80s, early, 90s,
is the Father beyond yeah. Lock, yes, and then I guess
there. There was already Michael Bay, so Peter Horton can go to the flag. Maybe I'll get more Michael Bay. He may be a because that's how directing words like we already got. One guy with long blonde hair you can
we already have. Our weird ego, maniacal guy, was afraid of. I can't be mistaken from behind
get him up there by the way exactly by
right and not and not to say, not to say about where
Michael who's, a personal
intelligent a for me and someone who I love to work with one day, but we do know- and I just put me in a movie to blow me up- I'm good- I wouldn't I wouldn't balk at a franchise
sorry
just blow Nick up and then cut I stand in frame. He gets bigger. Then after me
better be like 'cause. I
I wonder not not that it's enough we would have, but if, but if he was like hey, you want to be in the next transformers yeah I
knowing it would probably be not amazing. I'd be like
make sure why not you know the thing is like you, I'm not a serious actor. I don't give a shit but you're like do you want so much money
for a little bit of work? I don't know
I I don't know I I I I don't know it's not. It's never been a lifelong dream. I we did a thing on closer this year of Bobby Bottle service. It's like arc final goes bouncers where he
it goes into the body. It's a very weird thing is that we did a series of what about it seriously and our final goes bouncers very serious about this show and it's the the episode is about for Chelsea Pretty place
Farley whose like Bobby's on again off again love, and she is he's. We decided but she's haunting, the her love is haunting body. So Bobby decides to go into his own,
body to bounce, the ghost of Farley's love, and it's like the most ridiculous
thing, but we shot it
all. The only way to shoot inside my own body was green screen, so we had like did like a three day like almost our version of like bill.
Who who directed with Dan launch. You know the guys used to edit our show directed at this year and bands storyboarded. The entire thing like it was like a comic.
Superhero movie, like you, have to decide on. We can do that kind of green screen stuff, but we were on this stage for like two days doing green screen. It was so boring yeah and I was like this is the smallest fastest version of any.
I was like, so that's what it's like to make one of these movies, like you're, in a green, it's like being in a nonstop commercial audition, yes like in dog, yeah, local, gay and now here comes an octopus yeah. The tennis ball is
just tell you guys watching we come back. Did you see that no
haven't seen? I saw the first couple. Is there there's a whole thing where LISA has to act at a whole green screen?
duration in the house managers on it so far, it is so weird, but it's like you like. That's. Why, like huge actors want a lot of money and go crazy? Yes,
Is there on a weird air conditioned like green
screen lot somewhere in, like the outskirts of England, are miserable making one of these movies that they are not acting they're. Just like
You know running the running in place to put on my jumpsuit yeah, trying to get like some painted onto a jumpsuit for five hours there
so hard, it's so hard. They have the hardest live yeah. I think they have. They have that's the real struggle. I think actors lives matter, yeah yeah, let's get them out of green screen environments, get them back in the real world where they don't belong there now building sets again yeah. Let's start rescuing actors will, but I do
to talk more seriously about serious aspects of Kroll show the fine
will season final season. What a pro
xclamation! Why do you like hurting people by stopping your show up, I felt like we had told,
did the show we wanted to do, and I think it's a very weird thing to stop something
that seemingly working but kind of like the british
live shows where you're like oh great, we did like one thousand five hundred and twenty thirty episodes. We've done thirty episodes and it felt like we did the show that we had mapped out or organically occured
and verse is continuing to do it and feeling, like you, know, we're kind of doing
Bobby? I mean, like we sent Bobby Bottle service into his own body to bust
of Farley's love the envy at like, like what more like you know what I mean like when you get to that level. You're like we've, heightened this out. As far as it can go, did you ever going to stay
no well, you got another season and for a movie yeah what we did that the other Bobby things that we've done this year, that, in addition to use, which is like his expendables, which is crazy and the other thing is Jingle horse, which is in the first episode of the season, which is it's like last year we had Gigolo House
are: all of them are living in a house together, like a reality, show but like a sort of like gigolos that show on
Showtime that I love that's produced by Richard Grieco
I enjoy reading, but no this year this year, it's like gigolo horse. Basically, the idea is that there's an app called looper,
and it means anyone can become a gigolo. Now the market is flooded, and so we now have to have
elimination to get rid of some
gigolo. So it's me and man's you who's playing that Wing John Daly Peter paparazzo and, like a bunch
other people. Steve deal. Daring comes back for who's, the guy for created life and times of TIM, and I and then the c t from so we created this thing called it's a challenge,
cut elimination show always you act like I see too yeah. I like that. You know like, and we got c t from the challenge.
Who's on an elimination show to be on our
or elimination show, which is
Crazy, when you c C, who looks like a guy who
on one of the I mean. I know, that's literally. The man's job now is to be on these MTV challenge. Yeah I mean he is less what he does so and like, and our directors bill and Dan
have literally have were in a fan at Grantland, has a
fantasy fantasy reality show like for. Can you explain it also yeah like
essentially like a it's a it's a fantasy league so like Fantasy football, fantasy baseball where each individual's accomplishments earn you points. So, for instance, if you were to take somebody on a reality show and that person were to hit a woman, you get x amount
point right. They would have a mental breakdown in the middle of the season. Yeah start crying for no reason you get point right. Okay, so C t is the Peyton Manning of
you know I mean so we got
on the show and literally we were going to have. The choice was like because for the
addition to is like we want an action star, you know to be in the
so it was either like well, let's go out to Sylvester Stallone or we go out to see tv
and when you got see, you like thanks, live yeah exactly and it's like you know,
Okay, I so that's just one- is turned into like a no, no, no it it it
Never
eastern five methods on third into a weird, also like Schwarzenegger as we would have.
Then yeah did you watch the movie where they both break out of prison. I didn't see it no. I will
the two. I wanted to watch it too. When I got there in a future prison right there in a particular imprisonment, Stallone designed
but we're all in a prison of Sylvester Stallone's design. I saw I caught up on so many weird things over the holidays. Alot of what I would call. I think it was less catching up and more disk
with this tell why don't matter my robe yeah programming, yeah, it's like I. I watched a ton of investigation. Discovery of people like that I live at. I watched. I think this is an investigation is covering it was, and I I texted you like what is the point of the show the show called America on
covered yep one of one and this guy is a for these guys that I can resume he's a forensic geologist so
the funny hair. No that's a different! That's ancient aliens! Yes, yes, thank you! Think! Oh yeah, that's Giorgio! Yes, who has his own show now I bet he does own alien looks like Steve Brule that Guys Giorgio,
or injure yeah as yeah it is jewelry becomes more or an eight. I think he, I think, every time he does a season he gets adopted in and they do something to him and he comes back down well he's, like the reverse of the portrait of Dorian Gray. Thank the more famous. He gets the weird or an ugly. I don't like it was like a tanning bed blew up in, but I hope to get is in some weird condition that we're all making fun of now. Now it is a feeling it would involve yet fame becoming a famous guy that believes the aliens were here thousands of years ago. It's the only every other way, sort of the
like he doesn't give up. No, no anything is one of the only show that has never had a declarative state
but none of them. Ok! So if you remember the and then we'll get to american cover, but if you remember the old in search
I do remember, which was a phenomenally wonderful, show, narratively Leonard Nimoy and very creepy, and had that's creepy Moog Synth, opening
They never even as a kid I was like they've never arrived at any point. It's always they present a bunch of fat.
And at the end, you're waiting for the big reveal, and it's like no one,
really knows if big the incident that so this guy
America uncovered, you know he has the he starts every episode with with, like the loftiest goal possible, like I'm, going to find the r
the covenant you know yeah and then and then for it in America, yeah right. So he goes. You know and he'll go up to Canada somewhere to find like where the Templars maybe buried. This thing this treasure and first of all, there were like thirty commercials in one slash two hour show
every three minutes there were commercials and we got another cliffhanger every coming back.
Instead of every. I said it's a minute of what we've already seen, yeah and other
I'm very few, then someone who has now flip through a lot of that shit, there's no actual programming. It was like their demographic is now
That cares never where they have to listen.
Hold her hand, there's about three one, slash two Minute Mitchell and Webb Sketch that
is Essentia Lee. It's called the gift shop
and web goes to buy a gift for his aunt and the whole show is prese.
Citizen brand new british reality show that is just forward the plot, a sentence re
cap that sentence before it. Another sentence recap it: it's really. I love those guys, but this guy, this forensic geologist
never never really solved at NC episode that I saw. Maybe he does well. It's like finding Bigfoot
really solves anything and and and by the way, and what is a friend surcharges. So it is so basically someone that, like the legal system will call in, among other things like the courts will call in if they need to establish, like you know what type of this higher shoe that is. Can I put the can:
is this at this crime scene? It's basically, you know you're, basically doing
science to solve. Well, the bottom of that shoe is Nicole Brown. Simpson's blood right not guilty,
No, I think I think, would actually be a pretty. I think there could be like a funny movie based around 'cause. I had a item
my old act about how if there were ghosts, all of a sudden you wouldn't find out about it like on TLC, like that, like yeah he's in the news, the very thought this guy, like even the very the very premise and notion of
show and he's like. I think I'd like to find the ark of the cover
or whatever that you
automatically know like well he's not going to find it because I would have someone would have like there would have been
some type of Indiana Jones would be coming out with this discovery could be doing. That would be a really interesting. I think they'd be a funny like low budget movie about a host like that. That accidentally find the ark of the cover.
Like under a rubble pile in Winnipeg, and it's like all right here we go. We had the guy from ghost adventures, so shit ghost hunters reach out to be like we watch we watch ghost.
The thing in the world and Bobby Bottle Service, tweeted it being like big fan,
It was the weirdest thing you like, but but I was just thinking about this today,
if you were to mention the OJ trials, like do you think, Judge Ito is like walks into a room is like
going to picture. Ok, you say that about a year ago,
ago I was at some event with my mom, like the Pasadena border, realtors 'cause she's a realtor and he goes event and fucking Judge Ito is there.
Anne, I totally what I'm doing it, took a picture with him and he was to
really kind of annoyed by it all he was he was it was not. I was like hey
cool. If I get a bit and and it's
I don't know, of course he was, he was 'cause, you don't know,
but in my mind I've built up Edo's like being like having pursued that trial, like in my mind, like
I gotta, get on back, I gotta get that trial is going to be great for my exposure but
I don't know why, but I'm I'm like you know he walks in just like being my hand,
the house I live in, used to be a at some point. It was a commercial property that how the talent agency,
so thank you. I occasionally it sent to the house. I get fan mail for people that, like they still
the address, is here and like I'll open it. It's like eleven on threes company,
go back again, that's illegal, but it's gonna go on, listen it's at least people are dead, and then I got one for Lance Ito really. What was the fan letter to Lance Ito added over there
the judge, and so I will not take that red talent agent used to live in
or how would I have the right?
I represent some of the biggest names in the system. It was later Jeanine. Pirro judge just a judgment. Technically, that's actually one of the smaller names Ito. It's only three letters, but it's with that, because it would do well
to Kowski, I think, is a judge. But if you said, like I loved you hey, I loved you in the dancing Itos like just totally didn't get the doesn't. Even we
your out dated reference, but there's a
lance ito is I mean that was part of everything about the trial was perfect. The mystique of that whole. Besides, of course,
the fact that we would love that trial was perfect because, like the two people were murdered him and a guilty man was set free, well everything else. What a what a? What a pretty fun party I hung out with the couple in eleven year old and a fifteen year old and the fifteen year old, didn't know what the OJ trial, of course, which was like, but that shocked me like it's almost like.
I don't know, I don't know about the you know I don't
Monica Lewinsky or I don't know about like up something political from the nineties. I'd like okay, but I'm like Jay, you don't know about to like that's the foundation of American culture yeah, like that's the most important thing that was.
At the center of the world in one thousand nine hundred and ninety five yeah was that trial?
Do you guys remember where you were yeah? I was in science class. I was not great science. I was in when the verdict was read. I climbed a tree
school so that when people were like, where were you when the OJ trial verdict was read but a tree? And then I saw this six black kids in my school run outside celebrating- and I was like I guess so- she ain't got free value, climbed up, so that when people ask you yet you didn't leave us
to ask twenty years down the road- and I just like in the blue yeah yeah some day, I'm gonna be on a thing called a podcast. Wait, I'm having the weird visions again, yeah yeah. I I
I was dating a girl who was living at the Oakwood apartment. Congratulations, oh, my god, nice buddy! How was pilot season for us! It was a good violence season and- and I remember watching it in the Oakwood just their crew,
I believe I learned earlier. You did you really. I lived in the oak wood when I was auditioning for pilot season. The piles is that I book to the v tremendously successful cavemen program yeah.
But I was living in the going into its ninth season nine season and then make ups never felt better. But I was I was living in the Oakwood and I was I was subletting the apartment. I am. I a guy bought his Oakwood apartments, no p for those people don't know oak, which are like the temporary living facilities for people come out to LA
for a couple months during pilot season or like the child artist department. Yes, that
the Hollywood complex watch the news in the whole complex. Oh man, it's a documentary about a bunch of kids who live in the Hollywood. It live in the Forum Oakwood an the Presley cash she's. The best it's fascinating
could not have had a better ending for that. It is oh yeah. It's amazing, and it's about these
These were there in, like the people who are basically hustling them to pay for head shots and pay for new glamour. Everything it's just
It's all the awful shit about how like people are. Leeching studio comes up. Alot 'cause. They showed a lot of Disney here, yeah studio, it's crazy, but I was living there and I was playing basketball, pickup basketball everyday with like with Ben Schwarz, who is
we're doing like robot chick in and we were playing against like a bunch of little kids who were auditioning for like Disney Shows-
and I was getting beat, my kids gather
they were. It was during the OJ, but it's like yeah and like in the in the in the there's like of the deli. Did you ever go to the deli in the probably a really long time anywhere that there's a deli in there and like there are, but, like you know, a
supermarket in inside the supermarket for there and it's filled with children's head shop?
the soles of the children, and all these like, like five year old boys like brooding,
head shots of just slide? It was so depressed. I I cannot recommend watching the Hollywood complex enough. It's great fast,
it's a movie, I think it's on Netflix or Amazon.
It's on Amazon documentary, and it's just a follows. All these kids. There is like the
Presley cash Girl and her mother have been living in the oak woods for three years and renting a car, the entire-
there's a real, interesting, a real, interesting template of that
I noticed a lot of which was single mom, completely absent father. Yes,
moms. Like change smoking,
and you know like
who daughter, auditioning, ton and hoping to get that from the documentary
can back me up here. It wasn't
as an absentee father was that the father was always in their hometown, earning the money to pay for the asset of one or the other. What yeah watch the the? U? U? U, of largely dialed up
yeah. I dated in that I mean, like my girlfriend at the time was in that realm Hilary Duff,
that it was not Hilary Duff, I mean
but it was it was it was not Haley, it was never know. Duff's was not tough man, it was all
the voice of Duff beer raise. It was in that the voice of dope. It was the voice of Duff beer, but it was. It was such a strange thing to see
that repeat itself over and over and over and over and over again like that part of the valley is so strange and everybody will know
Well, I don't know the proper talk about all there, like Ventura Blvd, Kerry, Barham,
on the way out chunk of studio city is so weird it's the crossroads of hell yeah because due cause, but I like the chords and for
lawn cemetery or like that, so I'm right next to it was living there an I was so I was subletting my apartment. I was subletting from a cruise ship comedian who had bought his oakwood apartment. Why would you do that
he had no. Where to look. I know you. Why yeah, I don't know, why would you buy a temporary housing? Personally, I don't know so. I kept getting locked out because one of those doors that was really having it would allow
immediately and there's no way to like keep it so but- and I was
legally subletting from this guide, so I couldn't go to the front desk to be like. Can you get me in because I wasn't allowed to be technically be there, but he was on a cruise ship, so there
or times where he was like off of the grid of cell phone, like you couldn't reach him, so there were days at a time
I was like. I had locked. My key I'd lock myself out and my extra set of keys was in my car, but my keys to my car were in the house and shit. So I'm now so at one point I had to climb, I was like I think I left this is
the second or third time, I'd lock myself out, so I had left the sliding door to my house to the apartment open. But I was on the second floor, so the oak woods
face bar and which are on the way to more number
Warner brothers and all of the studios Disney, but it's like heavily traffic. So I'm
climbing up the side of a like. Literally. If anyone looked over, they would just see a man climbing a pack
go climbing up a terrorist like a robber, just a straight up, midday,
hey Blake Robert, but I'm climbing up and I'm covered in the soot of like
you know studio city traffic and I get back up and I'm so fucking furious with this guy that I'm like
what I'm going to watch this guy stand up real 'cause. I just was like he had
Hs is of all of his real. I'm like I'm going to watch is real and see what this guy does. I turn it on. It's a stand up, New York tape from whatever two thousand and four and I watch
exact. He does Jim Carrey in his act
he's like what would it be like if Jim Carrey was stuck in traffic and the guys like alrighty, then no that make you matter. You made me matter, but it also made me so happy it like felt like the great equalizer talk about it, what it would be like if Jim Carrey were stuck in traffic all righty, then
and now I'm just in traffic like it's just him in traffic there's nowhere to go, but it was. It would have rich little impersonating, Carson, hello, I'm Johnny Carson. By the way, there is a website which has rich littles all of his and precious, and everyone of them stay
it's with a hello, I'm Johnny, Carson, hello, hello, I'm, oh, how you doing hey there didn't see a command in c are coming down, so we're going to do now with Kroll Show ending. Are you doing other stuff? I don't know you're going to talk to guy
if they want to turn the iguana gecko again. I can't go wrong there, like with back the wrong ad campaign, which should have made the get go tv throughout. All right guys hear me out cave gecko, it's a prehistoric, gecko who's, not comfortable society, but he's british. Those guys are so weird the Geico ads and then now the nation, one of the other companies you sure it's is ads, are jokes about the Geico ads
yeah, it's so weird. The guy go on is interesting because they have not. They don't stick with one ad
pain they run like four simultaneously like, but it's work,
and one of them is just a fucking. One of them is just a family guy joke every commercial
cut cut away to. Let you know that you shouldn't there are some looney tunes characters. You shouldn't give enerji drinks too.
Too many devil. Gotta fucking ass photoshoot somehow offensive to me because, like the idea that in shirt, 'cause like every second or third commercial is an insurance company, commercial mean, like you know, you can save money was like clearly
Probably saving money, 'cause y'all, are put in commercials on every fucking minute, which means y'all got so much money to play with predicted. Again I just want to
to the guy goes in the nation where they want to hire. You know about happy to love you why I know I hired version of Unix, whatever, whatever. If you need a director, the guy who was sun is a great guy, a ones you know I could save up to thirty percent of my car insurance with you know, there's a guy who is a larger version of Hey guys, that's it who is the most in
tide, commercial will wane Fetterman's in one of them, and I love Wayne Federman when he's in the Willie Nelson ten. Nice is awesome
record my friend Alison Becker's in one right now that it's funny I missed that one
is Willie. Nelson one were there, is it Geico
this one where they're all playing poker with the sure that playing it with mister? You know how to hold a kind of Kenny Rogers. It's not Willie Nelson
Jesus Christ, Kenny, Rogers, Kenny, Rogers, Prince now, right
Wayne now constantly just playing people who play poker and things like you did on Lewis or know what is he done on? I feel like one of the Apatow movies like well. He feels like a guy around a poker to hear it by the way I still have a little bit of vacation brain like my wires, aren't completely
scrubbed, often firing you fat, Willie Nelson was Kenny Rogers. I mean they're the same right guys you guys were, but I only watched speaking of tv stuff that we watch over. I watched one episode of the sonic highways that Dave Grohl thing
and there's a if there's one that it it. He goes from city to city and, like they write a new song in each city for their new out for
FOO fighters, new album an I watch, the Nashville One and there's foot.
Willie Nelson when he tried to make it in Nashville, where he's clean
but clean, oh yeah, yeah yeah, he looks ok. Then he looks so crazy to see him yeah in that he looks like a dweeb
like he looks so not cool and it wasn't until he was like a fuck it yeah like when he was like already in his 40s or 50s, was like I'm going to go back to Austin, get
glazed and write country songs where everyone is like that guys cool well, but it's.
It is also an amazing story of trying to fit into
the paradigm is like? Oh, you have to do this. You have to see only way, yeah and then going
going to do my own thing and fuck everyone else, and they were going
that yeah, it's fascinating, it's a really good. It was. It was really cool to watch because you are like I have this, like you would. If someone should you picture, but I don't think that's willing else like and by the way can you read
just gets weirder and weirder. Looking oh yeah, yeah yeah. Do you think that
is having more work done or he's just puffing into the work he currently I don't. What I don't understand is that, as you know, like this whole rash of men, getting plastic surgery
as they get older, they just turn into like
inbox like there's this sort of weird that it doesn't it doesn't make you look. I mean it's obviously, some
type of dysmorphia 'cause. It doesn't make you look younger or better.
It just makes you look in this other weird. Third,
you know I'd category, that's not well you're, just like what would what would Kenny Rogers look like if he was made
marzipan, like one of the food network, cake baking shows they make a like a Kenny Rogers cake. That is just
or challenge today, you're going to have to know when window,
although and know when to fold the dough with a big lori you're competing to win a chance to gambler a classic Willie Nelson Song? I'm sorry my brain was messed up for a second yeah. I love the Kenny Rogers Whiskey, River
Rogers, roasters, okay, Rogers roasters. Do you ever go to one? I did yeah. There was one in West LA when I lived in on the west side. That's what he looks like he looks like a like a rotisserie chicken version. Unlike a close look at a slow left out any of his right yeah,
he was like I'll use. These are, as is, I mean his head on a standing here. They get, I don't know, you know it's it's you know, and
I I don't want to. I don't want to show
it too much because doing who knows what happens as you start to get older, you know like get because already you know, and I hate I look at my so I have to watch myself five times when I'm editing Kroll Show yeah. I have to watch it more than three at least three to
this is where I can give notes on the episode, because I'm just like that face stupid, stomach dumb her well, you know you should just put a picture of me
all right. I'm, okay, I'm! Okay! I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. What's worse is actually being a lot older or you know
being as I just turned forty three in
so that's an age where it's like, I'm still close enough to when I was in in
Ford is like there was just yeah like the other day you know like, as opposed to when you're like sixty and you're like yeah. I know you're not doing this for any reason, but you look very good
for forty yeah. It works. It works. You yeah,
You know just living clean friend. I know look terrible for thirty one. No, you don't you look you look great. You look just thirty one. No thanks God's perfect will look at anyone yeah. I I found a bunch of old. I was just going through old pictures on vacation is like. Oh, let's see. What's in these old folders an know, we said this many times you do not look like the same person. Matt MIRA
like you literally look like just making my way to Kroll size. Yeah. I've got a picture of me on a mirror, doing, step aerobics. Looking at me like one damn it like. I had someone printed on a transparency, so I step in front of it a full size.
Body transfer you the best and that you
Then yeah yeah, you are a boozy puffy face yeah, an two thousand three nine, two thousand and three
that was that was Peter Hardwick's time to shine. That was that was that was the window of sweep off just like no in there. Let me
to Peter no man brains out Merrick.
If you could just get a
travel booze on his tongue.
I'll be free, no more clock.
Armor piercing commentary still tired. Just want the
turn on my mouth it'll work.
Not all will drive. Give me
sort of powdered donut you every morning and night, when you're using mouthwash pick up the swallow follow ads
Dolores slow. It's it's all possible yeah! No, it's uh! I don't.
Hopefully there aren't traces of him left. His Peter
was your alter ego. That was that's yeah. That's that's what I call them. You know, because it effects when it when I first lost a bunch of weight. I
a lot skinnier, but I had no. No
not any. There was. I was literally just ribbon like there was no
musculature yeah, what's that like, so I had bad. So I, like my my back, was really fucked up and I just 'cause my
core was so weak in my back was like I was my back was fucked up constantly and I was it was. It was bad,
sir. Are you exercising on a yeah? I go trainer in the week. You got to do it. We get the same guy, yeah love it yeah you get it. Do you get weirdly addicted to that
do? Well. I had him right up 'cause, I because when we went to uh
vacation. I had him right out. I'm not
one who can go I'll, just go into the gym and just do stuff, like I like being told what to do so. I need somebody telling me right out. I had him write out six extras. Like six
Programs and then I just went in and looked up and fly. I have a trainer as well. I had him right out of programs for me to do and then I didn't do any of it. Yeah I've lost like eighty pounds of Tom, but I wow I've put on, like probably twenty five pounds of muscle while you've lost eighty pounds since well my heaviest us four hundred and sixty pounds. What and when I started this part. I guess there's like three hundred and sixty wow, something like this, you already down.
Down a buck yeah by the time you certified. I guess I just never made eye contact with you when you were we had, I would expect wow. Was that a shock that were you what how do you?
I'm sure you've talked about this, but like what.
How do you not realize that you have to do something or how do you get that yeah? How do you get to that? You just sort of
give up now you just eat and eat, and you don't think about it and you don't you think nuff
We have the fact that you're just constantly eating and doing nothing when you're. Looking at your own body, you can't see yourself, like you, can't see the
like when you're with someone all the time. You don't see them changing in front of your eyes, right, right, yeah, so
you see me every day now it never looked that crazy today and I was always a fat kid, but at some point like right right around
high school, like this junior high school, I really started to get. Was there a tipping point
to lose? I don't know the tipping point to lose. I was having problem
sleeping here. You have not had the apnea going and there were many nights where I was consciously
aware that I was not breathing yeah and could not move yeah. I was in sleep or else yes, yes, so
now you have three or four nights a week where you embrace death and understand that it's coming and then well because you are you're not breathing like. Oh I'm not oh. This is how I go. Ok, I'm good,
and then you Maria, why do people need to take care of t, yeah right and then freezer reaches out a hand and says come over to the other side, Dr Crane in men, so it was sort of them in like seeing about
the doctor like listen, here's the deal, you're, never gonna be small, but you got to lose weight you're going to die yeah. So in that gotcha yeah yeah that I I was one
watching my son life? No! No! I can't! I can't watch it so I could
sing like the college Football Championship or the playoffs and every commercial was either eh
Commercial was either a commercial where a woman is complaining about how her husband, snores and there's like a new
mouth guard. Stop I'm snoring or it's about how the mattress we need different types of Matt
right to sleep. Now, sleep, sleep number and sleep right. So it's basically like every man watching
This came in the women who have to watch it with them, are fucking miserable, can't sleep and it's like 'cause every man watching football is like fifty
pounds, overweight and had sleep apnea and is snoring.
I mean it was. It was insane I'm going pull up a picture for you
by the way, while men, spelling of the picture speaking of Semen Commercie,
is that air over and over again during all the investigation discovery shows man. Is it all I fall
ask you to buy gold? No, what
so the most of, and what I noticed was that
same company makes them all, but it's it's basically subscription donation programs for, like the
ca, are harmful warriors and for you know, and it good good causes. But what I noticed was that all the commercials were exactly
the same like the same format, same format same like and will offer you a free gift and they were all one thousand nine hundred and ninety it was like they were all the same price every month and I was like. Oh, is this all just one company that these all filtered
yeah and that's how that works. So I would think so someone that nobody's you're not getting commercial ad space words.
Let me just rotated them every break and it was the same combination of captivity. Money at I've subscribed hundreds of times literally hundreds of that. I I feel like I. So it's weird like I would assume like you, like. You know what I'm on vacation
I don't get to do this, I'm just going to sit down and watch television and then you're like, oh, my god. I forgot about commercials. I completely
about commercials and and I didn't fast forward through them yeah. I love Kommer right weirdly. I love commercial yeah, Dory my girlfriend or always wants me to fast forward through commercials, but I'm like this is kind of half the fun of.
I mean that's. What like Kroll Show is entirely built on me flipping through
it's like aimlessly watching television for like two minutes at a time I was in the Bahamas and I saw a Fuckin empire commercial ad and I was like did it if I'm that fucking, we all thought that was local.
I thought it was local because they make it look like a low commercial yeah and then it's like the cartoon version of like Stanley's carpet. Cozen leads the leads. I can
okay, that's that's all what I mean is I get up. We can kill, but conventional means yeah. There are the that. That's also gets a mattress company, but that guy that I can't be beat there are so
any fonts that man baby in the yeah Jamas yeah, the curly blond, hair guy who's, there's also a real version of them and then there's the cartoon version. I'm there so many fonts on his the leads mattress
wow
that just showed a picture wow. How old is that picture man you guys for two thousand and three: you got straight up baby hands. I know they were adorable. They were adorable, oh, my god, whatever wow
yeah, oh wow, do you feel markedly better every day? Well, it's currently
The things that I can do now like when I go run around Hollywood Reservoir and don't stop, and I run three and a half mile yeah. I got a feel good and yeah with some weights and like well, who the is this yeah yeah yeah yeah, because this guy couldn't
through the mall, without sitting on a fat man knees where your knees baggies were terrible. My knees were bad 'cause I slept on them. I would kneel as to breathe the entire night. I would kneel at my bed. Oh, it was great, but you're, also, probably sleeping all the time in summer 'cause. You are always
tired, yeah. You are getting like nights of sleep right right now and I have a drive to just get a new toilet in this picture. What's with the american Standard Rock, like some of us are very excited gotcha and it's nine twenty in the morning or at night in college really night, that is a yeah. That's like yeah! That's college, yeah yeah! You got a post that picture on Instagram. It's not! I mean this is on the phone.
Tumblr, I just
know where I can find it. So I can Jack Jack went to the brain,
shoot hard right in my own, I poke my own. I own yeah, firehouse speaking his cell.
I I love the new
the fire house and speaking,
oh, you mean Selma Blair right now, your saying Morse Yahoo, great in Ashby, honest cowboy yeah. I remember why
cruel intentions and being like, even
and being like, you know that she's like she plays like a high school girl. She was like twenty eight
thirty at the time she was yeah yeah and it was. It was a shock that movie was on recently I watch out again cruel and
yeah,
a young innocent Reese, with probably like freshly pregnant,
may, have gotten pregnant during
yeah during one of the scenes like in a right, I was like playing high school people for a decade and a half like heathers up through, like girl, interrupted Shia. I
her in New York at a hotel talking to a doorman at the bellman at the hotel. She's, like you know how I'm you don't like when I was. You know the thing like where sometimes you feel like you're sipping too much, and then sometimes
feel like you're sipping a enough and I hope she was holding a Sippy cup at the time she had. No, she was holding like seven bags, hello it.
What was it about. I have no
I yeah. I had no context for what was happening, except that the Bell man didn't either hello. He just sort of nodding, uhhuh.
Do you think she's like to have her on the show she's ok to get on it? Can we get on that? Get
even funnier. She did not know that history yeah just a trajectory about yeah Senate she's, supposed to be the lovely, but you know I would love to have her on yeah- should be fascinated talk to she's responsible for my weird pilgrim fetish. Really the crystal grow.
Come on. Bro, for me, is Danny DE yeah. Let it go os jacket for that guy
His own house game buckle. Hats, Mister proctor! Look these buck
so over here trying to establish a solid way there so dressed, there's so many layers. They are few like that. Try to get all
also. So what are you what? So we don't know what you're gonna do? Are you going to write I'm going to do a rent, a movie or have a movie coming out in?
spring that I that I wrote the idea for
and then produced and starring. It's me rose Byrne and Bob
kind and it's called adult beginners and it's about I'm like a she'd New York, entrepreneur and the
don't falls out of my business in my world and I have to leave the city and the only place I go is I move in
my sister and her husband and their three year old and I become their nanny and it's like a small. It's like a funny. You, psychological thriller. It's it's like a funny you can count on me is like how I write so it's so that comes out so we'll see. I I go by Risa promote that on
try to come back and beyond those podcasts whatever you want, but you know so that's coming out, and so I think that you know in there couple movies that I'm still
to write in
circle in anything. Then circling a few things and some things that I'm like hopefully
movies that could go that I would be involved in and and all and I'm starting to think about. Other shows new shows the
I would go make an. I don't know, though I don't have a there's. Nothing like like it's not
put this to bed. We gonna tour at all. I don't know you don't know. I don't know I mean are: are you doing stand up still yeah, I'm about to go? I start my tour starts in a week. How are you when do you? How are you reading material, the it's?
It's really has not been productive,
stand up material right. I shouldn't say that, because the arguments are I mean it is minutes, residents road, no I've just been. I I just like make notes yeah
I use Evernote and I make notes on Evernote yeah.
However, I can
and then I'm and you know run it when you can and run it when I can't yeah, I'm I'm now to the point where I've done so little stand up bass in the last year. The it's not it's, not that
I have it like it. I've have an hour that I can tour with, but I feel like I've hit a bunch of the city.
I would normally go due to Tor and I don't want to go back to them with material that they've seen right right right so and I have to decide
like when you do stand up. As you know, you have to decide to like go fucking. Do it like you can't like you can't dip your toe in, like
when you go on your turing you'll, like you have to commit to a tour, though too, and so
they're all these things that, like you just you have to fucking jump in, and so I'm like do. I want to
Bin and go really after it, and if because, if I do it, I really want to be good. I want to fucking, be
so, do really good stand. Yeah and I don't know, I don't know whether I have that 'cause like it's like. You have to be like four nights
a week at least you know that you're like dropping in and doing spots right,
and then you're going on a real chore and running that our and running it you know like and and just nailing it you know, yeah it's it is it is it's don't
yeah, but but it's, but it's also so fun and when you get on the road and you like, you, get to see fans and you get to do like and by the way and now entering
thing where I don't have the immediate gratification of having a show on basically
all year, long between Kroll,
when the league, like it's like how my gonna fill that void, where's that empty that empty barrell that can't be filled right now, my
going to fill it halfway until it rains out in attempt again, maybe food, baby food baby food. By the way you guys should switch yeah man, you should pass each other way by the way. By the way
we have a feeling by the end of this year, we will have cross
across the one another and I'll be on the other side I'll be like I am.
Sleeping on my knees. I read a nice thing about you that
He said in an interview
where she she said that you had a very calming effect. She was like Nick has such a calming effect. Yes, she was very sweet to say that it's a very you know it's like sleep. Sleep treats us all differently in different times in our lives. You know, and so
I feel, like, I think men generally sleep better than women. Is that a crazy statement to make? I don't know,
My girlfriend sleeps way better than I really yeah great bunch of couple of. Ladies
maybe you're the lady that maybe I am not sleep along time. Do you say sleep a good amount? I sleep I left to my own devices. I could sleep nine hours a night, five, really five hours,
and and sometimes I can make myself go back to sleep
another hour and a half, but that is it in on
on vacation. I was sleeping
ton, which totally was weird yeah. I mean. How did you feel? Do you feel better? Yes, but I wasn't sleeping. I wasn't necessarily sleeping for like eight hours at a time because we were we were in the Bahamas with my girlfriend and her
in her family and we had our own room in this house, but
her brother like take a two hour nap. I would take a nap because her her sister has an eighteen month old, a five month old, and so they would wake up at six
yeah and so at six hundred o'clock in the morning. You would just hear time an
durable kids and- and I was on vacation, so it wasn't like I could be up, and I was like I'll I'll just sleep. You know,
so I would be up for like an hour and then go back to sleep for another couple hours and yeah. You know it was great yeah. I I I I sleep, I'm very capable of sleeping a good amount, and but it doesn't, I don't know if it really actually helps me like it's not like. I'm like I feel so refreshed and so much more productive. But I also think like yeah, I like I look at you, be him and I'm, like God, dammit yours, you, you do so much
that like there is advantages to not sleeping as much but it's it's not. I don't choose to not sleep. I just don't, and if I sleep like the villain in die, another day didn't sleep at all. That's right! I'm exactly like the villains, another day, informally north korean guy right yep, it reconstruction, look. What yeah I mean
call. That's all there! It's all there, the Bismarck, basically just biography of my life. I don't know what the movie is.
The James Bond James Bond movie. I thought it was dying.
Another day. That's why you guys are going to switch places.
If I, if I were to sleep for eight hours, I would have sleep
over all day and my eyes would be super puffy and I'd be disoriented.
Like. I can not sleep that long. I I was in palm springs over the holiday and I I crush sleep. You did
Did you feel better? It was amazing. Now, when you wake up when you guys
wake up, are you like productive, yeah? Yeah, you are see. That's. The thing is like. If I my problem, is I can't wake up before the first thing I have until the first thing. I have to do that day. So, like basically like, if
I have something like a call time at six, a dot I'm up at five hundred and thirty no problem. But if I don't have my first call,
meeting or whatever until ten, I'm waking up at nine hundred and thirty like there.
No there's no in, but you know what I mean: there's no difference from you. Don't like, like a nice, lead time to the first, so I would love it. I would love,
that, but my body in the move my mind in the mornings like no, no, no, no, no yeah. I I got up
as I did go to the gym this morning at nine, so I got a
seven so that I could eat at around seven hundred and thirty ish so that I, the food, would be proud
just enough so that I would feel a secondary impressive that I have to go at seven to our trainer really yeah. That's I have to be here at eight, and so then are you you're at your at seven wake up to wake up at five thirty. But why do you have to wake up an hour and a half before you go to
eight yeah, because you have to your body kind of needs to process the food and if it doesn't, then you run the risk of throwing up, throwing up
long or if you don't need you're, just dad yeah, you just die. Yes, I feel that, but I was told that you're supposed to eat after
you work out because of your support just got a little somethin yeah you
need it it's it's better: it's better to eat a little bit car beer before your workout, because that is the fuel for your workout
and protein here afterwards, because that helps build up. The I'm welcome
when is Chad. Welcome back girl is no more blow graph. Welcome the fitness test states a little clunky by french, nine hundred and fifty pounds today. How about you go? I could deadlift your fucking mother.
Scala. This is a podcast. Next call what happened like when you guys talk about comic books. We are here to tell you to
stop idolizing the bull, fake, strong people and look at us. Okay, thank you for your
All of that call I like that. I'm assuming based
what you said earlier that your meat head is a Boston based, meathead, hello, long time listener first time caller. Why is your day
change. The way they they you are. Thank you originally from. I am
and I am living in the Arizaga Steadicams Gay want to train. I am from I am from nipples I am from oh by the way I just
play New York with friends and pinch
no with Mark Linn Baker like
Do you know, Mark Linn Baker was at Yale with like
John Turturro and, I believe,
Paul, Gia Mati like there's uh, oh Frances, Mcdormand like there was a friend.
Element who was in a serious man's, become, but like there's, this class of like
one thousand nine hundred and eighty one Yale drama school like made not Glenn close there.
An insane list out of that school and
Lynn Baker was the star of that of that, like G era at Yale, he also, but he that has a great broadway. Yes,
he is a great bravo. Crew is enough money that he doesn't give a shit yeah. Well, he was also he was in my favorite year, which is a fucking fantastic movie with Peter O'Toole yeah. But let's talk about him is
as in Larry yeah Bronson Peter did you watch a speaking of reality shows. Have you watched any Bronson Pinchot, it's yeah like fix. He has a good d. I Y show. Now I yeah we're just like starts these fixing a how
there's a lot of those d? I Y shows where celebrities fix something to fix their like home. I'm trying to fix my career by fixing this House Jennie Garth just had one William Shatner has won yeah. I saw I remember hearing William Shatner talk about it
it's a shit. Yeah vanilla ice had one originally now he's doing the amish. Ten easy allies goes amish yeah. I think those folks
like well, I'm sorry to crap on the premise of the show, but if
being filmed you're, not being amish
want to have you watch, I never watched an amish mafia. Did you watch that show at all? I want the I did not see, but by what I watch a breaking amish, yes, which was
it was annoying because literally everything, every every confessional that they had was like. All of you did this in the amish
really would be shunned. Like everything was like yeah, I get it. They would show you
everything, yeah doing the show, so you automatically shuns them so yeah everything right. So what is the deal like all those people like there's no way they're really I mean I guess they have the run spring right, but yeah like they can do. I think they could do it during whatever they want. I don't think they were on run spring though, because they were all not. Teenagers like they were. All point is that you have an Amish sounds terrible. The way I have to find a picture. The shakey's pizza, that's across the
street from us. Beautiful, read, redo this fucking killing it with their parties, because I have a picture of a thing that says like happy rum
bring a Harrison and I was such
strange, I don't know
he's a really living rooms ring it to its fullest extent right. If, but I guess, Rick is a good place- is the art right, but if he's getting shouted out by Shakey's, like you're spending a lot of his time there right, I guess so, maybe off
video games and potato logs. They still do. The potato logs at Shakey's is where they do. The the Simmons is Fantasy Football league. Does the
what really and she has like, should we should go there on Hammond? Why don't we put in there? Well, why haven't we been there? That's across the street because it shake is, I think, that's why we have that we're going to cheat day to all the amish listeners out there. No, they would not
many nights. Maybe, but not we love via and no no. It was saying thank you for risking. I had to keep reaching for the stuff yeah and you know it all those bomb you could you put a one of the buckle, hats from IRA? No, it's not the same, but it works all those just quickly at all. All the Amish cross, our fans out there. You know this is the final season
yeah gets a boner every time he sees oatmeal because
will they ever had a quaker?
There quickly add looks like if you put your thumb, Xov
the sides of the quake, the Quaker Oats guys hair this.
Let's hear it looks exactly like my dad.
You tell him that I think I've told him that. Did you appreciate that sure he doesn't
here? You know I mean my dad is like reminds me of Cosby pre
current circumstances right, like Cliff Huxtable, an cliff and Clair Huxtable R.
That kind of how I see my real, like when I watch that
as we show now, it reminds me of like I can't separate from how my parents were was like my dad eating like us,
halted hoagie and my mom, and I don't eat that hoagie and then your friend is coming over now exactly make a music videos like the whole. Their relationship, in my mind, is summed up by him wanting to eat that sandwich there later that. Why don't you eat that sandwich have told you eat that sandwich. Yeah, I know you're going to get that sandwich. Believe he'd always get the sandwich and he was Rudy would catch him and she would break the law was she was? I did you see that she got booted
celebrity apprentice. Ask him
and she wouldn't ask him. She's, like I haven't, talked to him in five years or whatever you know,
for her, like that's a weird thing, to do to call someone go hey help me with the thing. Yeah also surprising, might be a monster yeah and she got her check already for being on the show
yeah. So it's all fun and surprisingly Trump wasn't
we'll see the nuances of it. You don't get it for the record. This was shot before
Current Cosby situation now and meet head is a big celebrity apprentice apologists that Donald Trump, I'm just trying to figure out what you guys I every morning I get into work over here at midnight and we have to sift through the Bullshit NEWS was in the packet. Yes, why? But I just want to understand is the meat head is
we had your fucking. A right. I am celebrity apprentice. Is the greatest competition show on television uh the Crossfit thing? This is your, are not doing Donald Trump Mister Trump. I do a very good Donald Trump. It goes like this and it's pretty good, it's not bad. We're all doing we're all still just doing. What's his face, Darrell Hammond, yes, yep we are, we are Darrell Hammond doing the character, that's what everyone's Bush is right. Everyone's Bush is Dana Carvey, because no one's bush anymore. It's
fourteen come on guys? Ladies trim? Their shit, pubic lice are going extinct. It is because of
now, when I'm done with this here, wait you're going to bring pubic lice back in full force. Oh yeah, that's true that you have
yeah, that's my goal after we got to the crow show anymore, so they can raise awareness for puberty like throwing the bear to just eat chicks. You know that finish. One thousand nine hundred and ninety five, a month you can support, raise a pubic lie. Is that the single is that
Well, I don't know if you would like my dick is really what a louse like it's like mice, I don't Laos laotian yeah. No, it the guys were crossing a river streams. Okay, not
now he's talking about lies thinking of crossing the street.
I'd love to weigh in on this Ghostbusters three.
The ghost crawl ways in
I wanted to be Lucille Ball,
Lucille Roberts and Robert Eb.
So
there I was slimer came over to my house. Did I want to kill summer you better did then I Fox Lima you're, God damn right
did slimer eat all those hot dogs, and then they fell right out of the bottom of his body. You know it, you know it. No one knows who Robert Evans is the kids isn't right,
I guess the picture. The cartoon kid stays in the Spirit, photography picture fuck. That would be fantastic, Robert Evans whoa.
Now now now we go. Where is now we've shed on the cruise comic for doing gym
traffic is never like what if Robert had this was in Ghostbusters. Exactly though I stand by it, something like I stand by it.
Comedian?
Who would you call ghostbusters
so Would Robert Evans be a venkman type? He would be Venkman right. Robert Evans would have to yeah but yeah, but to be for the old lady ghostbusters. He would be, of course, a dragnet okay and my.
Lady. You know you better yeah, you guys I am do I have a penis god. Damn right, I don't
So there was a story that I was told by Somo
You knew Robert Evans that he had the I don't wait is this is very reasons they that he had box under his bed and there was a pubic hair from every woman that he had ever slept with in a but compartmentalize. Yes correct. Yes, that is not a riff! That's an actual thing! I heard the same,
selected from the bed like after he finished having sex with one of these women. They like collected the pubic hair.
So he would have to make sure he would shake a couple apples loose right because you don't necessarily they shake all the apples loose. I could you bet I did. I saw him in Sumner Redstone at Dan. Tanas
having already been amazing. This story that sounds made up in Maleny had a five hundred and thirty, like we were meeting for a drink to have dinner at like six or six hundred and thirty whatever it was. It was Robert
Open, Zen, Sumner Redstone, having a five hundred and thirty fish dinner.
At Dan Tanas. They were out the door by six wow great, well, yeah 'cause. He had to go sweep the bed to get all the all the cubes in the booth.
Ed we've been met, Daniel's no John
It would be so sorry, yes, Johnny would be strongly this sorry. I know I think it will be interested would be sweeping. The Dallas in will be streaming the bed while he was singing islands in the stream and just quickly if Roberts listening big
That is a strange thing to do.
What happened to that box after he died?
still alive, Robert Evans is still having yes yeah. You can't
oh yeah. He still alive one hundred years old. I alive, you bet you bet
breathe out of my mouth. Kiss cocaine is collapsed. My entire knows you better than you know.
We've got you, you know it is got that right.
Maybe if realized Robert Evans will still alive now, one hundred that's fantastic news. How do I say this on the podcast? Where
I have to leave shortly now. Go we gotta go anyway. We should could concoct some sort of a strange now work with you
likes awareness has been
I'm glad. We've got into this
and I know, there's a lot of pubic lice out there that needs your help needs a home. Some of it. Robert Evans, is doing everything he can for the price of a cup of coffee. You can
get some. You can get some of our habits cubic miles and then collect your light and raise a colonie,
raise awareness and by the way, if you do get enough, pubic lies, you can cut
up in a line and Robert Evans was started right up. That collaboration add that there were three make people realize that they were like those old sea monkeys at at lake of these humanoid colony, yeah yeah, playing like racquetball yeah yeah, yes, okay, yes, we can so I know that you, I know that you have a busy engagement to attend right now, your pubic lice awareness that you have
the lights of Hollywood credit chamber. You go to the people because of how it would go to pubic lice dot, Gov DOT, Gov and go to John yeah. Your big lace that template dot com, give money yeah go to a pubic lice, but
too many people are shaving it off an these. Basically these
all these are being uprooted. My sorry, my just a quick anecdote. My brother did cat crabs at some point like in high school, which I've I'm sorry, you know
buddy and he went to my mom was like I got crap.
I don't know what to do. My mom said what you do. Is you
shave? Half your shave, half your pubes like the other half
fire and when the crabs scurry across you stab them with a knife. She say that
that's amazing, the general said debauchery, those a which we don't do. We does, though it was that's out on us and we will do with the with the crow it was delayed.
Thank you for having me back. I appreciate it every time
Lucian wins across show. The final girls show premieres January 13th at one thousand and thirty, it's every Tuesday night after Tosh, and I think I will be an Eminem
midnight some point in the next week or two
John with John Daly and I and it Seth Morris yeah yeah, so both Kroll show Mvp.
He's by you'll know: Seth Morris is Bob Ducca. You know John Daly, as somebody
I've been I've, but also does Peter
Brazzo and Wendy Sean and Exane coach teacher, and we
is Ontario. I really do think like this season. We are going out 'cause, I feel like we were done with what we did, but I feel really like
encourage people to watch seasons, one and two they haven't watched a show. It's on the app
the cc app and it's on Hulu
right now go watch it because season three will be
so much more gratifying if you've watched the first two seasons, because it's all building it's all these character,
there's all this information. That's already been delivered and it's ok to Dvr, because it doesn't because you don't care if the show gets
yeah, no yeah yeah, watching whenever the fuck you want. I don't care about numbers, correct good, to see in a good to see thanks guys enjoy burrito everybody. Thank you guys,
thinking to grow. Thank you. Now, leaving Nerdist
dot com enjoy your burrito
Transcript generated on 2019-10-15.