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When You Enable Someone, You Aren't Helping Them (Hour 3)

2019-10-29 | 🔗

Home Buying, Budgeting 

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
From the headquarters of Ramsey solutions. Broadcasting from a dollar car rental studios that is at all home mortgage has taken the place of the B M w as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey your host, your jump and we'll talk about your life, your money, it's a free call at triple eight eight, two four, fifty five thousand two hundred and twenty five. That's eight hundred and eighty eight eight million two hundred and fifty five thousand two hundred and twenty five start
of this hours, Cheryl Ann, Idaho, hi, Cheryl. Welcome to the Dave, Ramsey show hello hey. What's up, I've got some great question and I need some help you're the man to answer I have a business um, it's an S corp, and I have a. I have eighty five one thousand dollars in my business checking account that basically gets no interest. I don't have any inventory that I need to buy or anything it's basically just a business savings account sort of speak. I get paid from my business checking account to myself I employee wage, as well as a shareholder, draw to divide up the tax burden on there I want to find out about the.
Five thousand dollars I have in my business checking account that just continues to grow every month and wondering about paying part of my how soft kind of wondering what to do with that I've I've got. Three five thousand in a Roth IR, a got ten thousand in an emergency fund one hundred thousand to pay off the house? and just kind of wondering what to do with all this. What's your household income? Ok, well. That is a very good question, because um I get commission from five. Companies on you make this year. A maximal. We take all the money from the commission's from all the nails that we get would be about eighty thousand okay, your taxable income for the year. You're, not really good. By the time I play myself an employee wage in the shareholder drop. My tax-
is really low, that that one more question what is your? You said we Are you single Help I am married, my husband, and I we work together. Ok, so it's the two of you making the two of you together make eighty thousand dollars, or does he make an additional income? No, Well, he makes some one thousand a year on a little part time job. He does in the summer to your house is ninety thousand yes, okay, good all right! This was trying to get to now. How long has the eighty five thousand been in your escort checking account. Eight year, I mean it could be already long ago paid the taxes on it? Yes right, so this is tax. This is after tax dollars sitting there in a savings account. It just happen.
To be down at the business you own, a hundred percent of the US or per hundred percent of the income passes through to your personal return, and so anything the escort bones is just years. It's a very simple thing: it's it's a minor detail that it's down there. It's basically Dave. I have eighty five thousand dollars in my savings account earning one percent. Should I pay that on my mortgage, you should have an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses. You should be debt free other than your mortgage. Do you have any debts other than your mortgage? No okay! So it's beef up your emergency fund, ten, thousands, a little thin out of this eighty five and let's throw the rest of it- At the are you putting fifteen percent of your income away for retirement um every month is different, because our commission is different uhm. What I start doing, is pulling out five thousand dollars from the check count every month and putting
two thousand on the IR a in two thousand dollars on the house, because I'm sitting here going this money is doing nothing: I want you to do is say: fifteen thousand dollars a year into retirement. Ok, that's fifteen percent of your income! You make almost one hundred ok! So when you start saving fifteen thousand dollars a year into retirement, set that up and quit you're doing all this gyration back and forth. This business is confusing you more blessing you, and so it's just you're, so worried about what you're taking a shareholder, draw or income it's just income, one hundred percent of it is income an once a nap. Now it's an escort. This is an escort that I'm on
And no matter what I do, I get to pay the taxes on it every year. It's just sucks, and so, unless I put it in a you know and obviously in any income I put into retirement, I get to hide from taxes and lectured on Ross. So you need to be putting fifteen percent of your income into retirement and once you're doing that and you've got your emergency fund beefed up any monies that you have left over, that you do not need to keep the business operating should be put on your mortgage, and so I'm guessing and I'm gonna, say you're. Probably gonna. Take about fifteen of that eighty five and I use it to get this retirement stuff started for this year, because you're, probably behind a and then you get you set up on going putting fifteen thousand towards retirement every year and then a then anything. You get above that we're gonna, throw the mortgage, and this case we're gonna, take seventy thousand of the eighty five in the
the mortgage unless you need some money in your S, Corp Savings to keep it up and running an operating, and so that's the deal hey thanks for the call Scott is with us in Georgia. I Scott. How are you hi Dave? It's great to speak to you thanks for taking my call sure. How can I help so? I'm sorry, I can't follow Cheryl Zenergy, but I'm having a bit of a moral dilemma with my parents have been losing sleep over and I really appreciate your wisdom here okay, there is a lot to unpack. They had been borrowing money from the up until about April finally gave them money. Yes at the. I don't want it back. Just don't come to me again how much of that Marley, but it's like five hundred dollars at a time, but we kept pushing it back and forth. When I finally said just keep, we are we sent them through empty. You earlier
this year they failed and now they're, really in a situation where I don't know what to do. My wife and I are in baby steps here. We still have about two hundred thousand dollars to pay off. It's all student loans between us and basically parents are in the right every month, their elderly. They can't really work and uh, and how much are they in the red uh on a monthly basis, now four hundred dollars? Why? Holding on to one of the holding on to that, they don't need to hold on to. They have a few things they can sell, but they're they're, not really that adapt uh, you selling things online, so we're going to be visiting the December, I'm probably going to take a whole bunch of stuff and sell it off for them, but
meantime they're living on a fixed income about eighty, ok, and so I tell you what I want to make sure I get this right 'cause. It sounds very, very important, hold onto this break and will dig down a little bit further and make sure I give you exactly what I would do not try to rush it, a commercial. This is the day. Ramsey show Folks, if you
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talking with God and Georgia his eighty year old parents are on a fixed income or coming up for a dollars read every month, so financial peace University and they flunked he's at his family are trying to get out of two hundred thousand dollars in debt student loans and student loans on the so their own baby, step to mom and dad have been loaning and borrowing and giving back and all this five hundred dollars back and forth, and that's how far we got in the conversation: ok
Is that a fair summary? What you told me so far? That sounds accurate. Yes, ok! So what is their income their income? exactly two thousand nine hundred and seventy five dollars a month and what is their housing arranged do they own their home or they renting? Well, they a reverse mortgage, let's paying them. Included in the two thousand nine hundred or it's already run out. Well, it seems like they don't have any income from it. They just don't need to make a payment. I don't think I have enough equity, I entered it to get anything, it just prevented them from having to pay anything. Ok, don't have a house payment or rent right now because of the reverse mortgage loan. Ok,
Right, so where does the twenty nine hundred go other than food and lights and water? Okay, there is one: there's there's one payment that they have every month that just started in August of three hundred and fifty dollars a month AC die. Do you live in Florida, so they need a seat but he's he died. It had to be replaced. That was about sixty five hundred that they didn't have. So the answer at least to own contract with the subprime lender, and that's now costing them three hundred and fifty dollars a month. That gets us pretty close to balanced. That's where my dilemma comes in. I could suspend baby step two for two months: hey that offer them completely and free up at three hundred and fifty a month, and then we could fine tune their budget to get them balanced.
That's that's where I'm having trouble, I don't know if I should care, I feel like I should put your household income. Mine is about two twenty five. Now I shouldn't take it my mind. We should take it two months but close world CUP cash flowing to kids through college right now. Okay, on our our e eighty h, sandwich generation, sandwiched between college, kids and aging, parents won't okay yeah. I would do that, but the problem is, I hear between the lines in the conversation that they're going go. Do this crap again, that's my biggest fear because they failed You have a failed if p you, what do you do to fail? Financial peace university well, taking out a lease to own contract with the subprime lender seems like a bad idea. Hi good, with that. That's how they failed or they are they doing.
Are they living on a budget or they in control, or are they just they say they are. We went through it last night with a fine tooth comb. There are a few things that they're not willing to give up. My mother gets a manicure once a month, and she's not willing to not do that. There are a few other things in their budget, but I told them they stop right. Now, such as a consolidation loan on a bunch of credit cards, I said: don't bother the they'll call you a lot, but they won't come after you that they can't there's nothing. They can do so, I freeze add up out of their budget, but there's not really a whole lot of wiggle room outside of my mother's manicure every month. Where does all the two thousand nine hundred go. Uh. It's big chunk, the electric, the HLA fees where they live life insurance.
What are they have life insurance to pay for their final costs? What's that cost. Well, I don't know they were talking about also going out and buying a pre paid burial, but I told them if they have life insurance, one mother now, but you don't know what the monthly is on the life insurance, Uh I do my father is paying a two hundred and twenty six a month, and my mother is paying fifty three dollars a month, cancel that he may have cash value in that and maybe a rip off whole life policy. It's not it's a term policy for fifty thousand dollars he's got a lot of health problems. He took it out. We just about five years ago yeah, unless you think he's got less than a year to live. I would cancel it. Ok, they don't need life insurance
I would rather, you take care of the cost of their burial if someone has to than them continue to be in the red in the end, so you've got that you've got the income to have some wiggle room here. They just have got to start making some adult like choices here on some of these things. I don't know what the manicure cost is. Probably not that much. It's not that big a deal what's their house worth. Should they sell it? Well, the question becomes where they go, because they're not going to come live with me, but my choice, not theirs ok, alright, yeah! thank you go down there and you sell a bunch of stuff and try to I want. I wonder if there's enough junk around there to sell to almost get that heat and air paid off with that. I don't know yet I'll I'll have to evaluate it. When I see it, but the question is: should I suspend my baby step to just pay it off yeah, if you can get
and it and it's sustainable because they're willing to behave if they're not going behave. It's just going to be your throwing good money after bad now, you're just being giving a drunk a drink right, and so you know mom and dad if I pay this off, it comes with rules and the rules are going to go over your budget every month and you're going to stick to your budget and you're. Not. So anything else, you're going life, insurance and yeah. You give up the manicure just on principle,. And if you're not willing to do that, you're on your own figure it out, because I problem is you're, not you're you're. You're, really not helping them if you're just assisting them in their delusion right. If they are, it sounds like they're trying to meet you here, they're willing to go over there.
It with you they're, not being obstinate, but when, when you sit down with them- and you do you use it, you know where in Florida are they central Florida deliberately? Other villages like near Orlando, you mean about an hour away, yeah I tell you what we're going to put you on Hold Kelly is going to pick up and we're going to assign a coach to you guys at our cost we're going to pay for it and that will sit down with them an with you and will have a third party help you thump them. Let's get? Let's get it, let's get him lined up here and get it I mean for their own good. We just want to. We want to win and they don't have dignity. Are there haven't always call their son asked for money? You know, and so I think party coach can help you guys get that life insurance cancel. Let's get this heat and air paid. With your help in the sale of a bunch of junk and let's get them on a budget and get their attitude straightened out
where they're going to live on that budget, an under no circumstances are they going to make any decisions without you and the approving the decision from this point forward, they're going to on the straight and narrow if they don't want to do don't give me any money. Because all your doing then is participating in giving a drunk a drink. You know- and that's that's sounds harsh, but it's just you know when you are enabling someone you are not helping them and and when you're, participating in their insanity, you're, not helping them and that's not real love. It's just not it's just weakness on your 'cause, you just don't want to deal with it and you just go on with some money. I don't have to deal with it and that's just that's cowards way, and so it's not not being strong enough, and so I'm with you it's. It's very difficult, and I'm also going to send you a copy of the book boundaries which is really what you're struggling with then Blimey, it's hard. These are hard choices, the
great news is you have a great income and you have an awakening awareness of this issue for your family, for your kids for your mom and dad and you're going to be able to do this. You've got the stuff to fix this. You've got the intellectual brain cells to pull this off hold on we're going to send your boundaries. Are going, send you a coach. This is Ramsey show America '
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Hannah is with us in Tennessee hi. Hannah. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey show thanks for thanks for taking my call up. Okay, so we are kind of we one hundred and on our home. We have adopted one thousand dollars in Carmel in about two thousand dollars in credit card. Yeah, I'm forty thousand dollars in car. What loan car loans good! Lord ok, and how much in credit card debt, two thousand ok and how much is student loans? No, ok and what other debt other than your own, just just the cars. Ok, and what's your household income Ann about sixty three and tell me about the cars break him down for me. Is it more than one loan? Yes, it's too Sometimes we have a sixteen KIA Sorento that we owe like twenty right at twenty one thousand
and then we have a twenty twelve jeep wrangler that we have twenty one thousand on as well, so twenty one on each of them. Yes, ok you have way too much tide up in cars? Yes way out of control? I would actually recommend selling both of them. Let's get you two five thousand dollar cars. You should not have more than half your annual income tight up in vehicles, even if they're paid for so that would be one thousand dollars worth so. If you want to keep one of these, that's fine, but you guys are carport big time, but you gotta one thousand dollars a month going out in car payments
Yeah we won't refinance because for them, financing for seventy two months and one car payments for twenty five and one three seven eastern kind of like a thousand dollars yeah. Yes, okay, yes, are not I know that the cars are an issue in that should be number one, but we are. We bought diy people, and we are not so I, to sell the house 'cause. There is equity in it as it is um husband loves the house and wants to stay a month to fix it, but I don't where I'm sure worse the worse, the break down. Where's that I don't understand. He thinks she's a d I y a person, but you don't eat. He wants to fix it. He I know he thinks he's a diy. You just
we are not diy people and then you said he can't do anything so he's going to take the money. Ok, so you're not do it yourself, but you want pack contractor and fix it up. Yeah here. But to look at what we need only the roof. We need new windows, we need new electrical, we need What would the house sell for? As is I guess we could probably get about one hundred and sixty out of it? That's cool and take like fifty thousand dollars out and get debt free, an don't buy any house by house, it doesn't need a bunch of fixing up and your whole family just suddenly got stabilized right. That's what I see our our our we have that does not include you keeping these insane cars, even if you pay them off their insanity. You do not want to have
listen. Cars could lose sixty to seventy percent of their value in the first four years, so much tide up in things going the wrong way. These are going down in value rapidly and you've got over half your income tied up in vehicles, are going down in value, it's it's killing you! You really can't win this way, I'm not against, because. I'm just gets cars owning you, and so, even if you paid them off, one of them's got to go and be be down to about a nine thousand dollars car on the other one 'cause, you don't. You cannot have more than thirty thousand dollars in vehicles if you're, making sixty and prosper this makes sense to how women stop stop. Stop stop. Does that make sense? Yes, ok! So if if you're willing to do that and pay off the other car Ann, So one get a nine thousand dollars car pay off the other one and pay off the credit cards and cut them up and get on a budget use the what's left over
another house leaving out an emergency fund. I would sell this thing in a heartbeat. You cannot afford, to do the renovation. Your home is disorganized as a result of the renovation needing to be done and you're not prospering. In this setting. With all this chaos, you got financial chaos. I just hear disorganization now all through this and are you want to get everything calm down and settled and Bubba still wants to do a hand swing a hammer over here, and it's just not going to happen. I wouldn't do it. I I'm fixing up a house. I don't know man only nice cars on Monday on this, but not when the, and your life and all these things are screwing heroes, life and you are you figured that out so yeah who win the argument, you need to sell the house, but only if you're willing to these other things, because the house is just part of the equation. The cars are part of the the stupid overspending and using credit cards as part of the equation. The no budget is part of the
Vision that no emergency funds- part of the equation- all of that and when you All that and smooth all that out. All of the. And you're going to feel like you have a completely new life here and it's going to be a better life hang on, I want to send you a copy of the book. The total money makeover both of you read every word and do it and I will show how to be a whole lot better place. Two years from today, good questions. Thank you for calling in open phones, eight billion eight hundred and eighty eight million two hundred and fifty five thousand two hundred and twenty five James is with us in Florida. James? How are you baby doing great thanks for taking my call. I appreciate it quick question I have question. My wife, should I freeze my credit. We started your program three months ago since then. My like thirty, like thirty points, because I paid my had off credit, no credit cards. Have it on once six awesome and we don't plan on buying another home for like five years, we currently have about forty thousand
equity in this one we're going to basically get this one paid off and then there's still this downside to freezing your credit. Why would you not I just never thought about and never you know it still would be. It would be wrong. What would detrimentally happen if you did freeze, I'm just afraid of when I opened it it was there any effects of not having credit for five years. I guess that would be my biggest concern at Just a note. I hope you don't have to freeze it to have that problem. All you get is quit using credit and you'll. Have that problem? Yeah! and that's what we're running into I pay my car loan. And don't use credit cards now? I know my point: is you don't that you're gonna have that anyway. If you get out of that gotcha, okay, so and the problem is solvable. If you get rid of by how should use menu Underwriting with Churchill, more
and I can walk you straight into another house as long as you know, if your credit becomes indeterminable because everything's closed except your house payment or whatever. So yeah in freezing it is just keeps some of the id theft away. So, if you're not going using credit, I would freeze it. scripture of the day, psalm three thousand four hundred and eighteen, the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and say those who are crushed in Spirit, Mary, Ann RD, broad Makar, said
courage: doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end, a saying I will try again tomorrow. That's true Josephine! In South Dakota, how are you Josephine? thanks for taking my call my pleasure. How can I help I just Listen to you and my husband and I just got married and we've both been relatively wise by money, so we're debt free yeah, it's been great, we actually just bought a house together But I'm long term plan is to be missionaries overseas and we're hoping to leave the US sometime within the next five or six years, and my question should we, we have a little bit in savings for emergencies and we're trying to figure out what we're going to do financially, but we're wondering if we should focus on
capital mortgage before we go overseas or if we should? Yes, Continue to hammer tomorrow received overseas will have a salary while overseas, and we retired in South, Dakota, so We kind of wanted a place to come back to you once were home. So how long do you plan would be right on the mission field, I to be clear missionaries, so we're planning to stay over. These I would sell the house then. Right now or when you leave when you leave, when you leave I would hate my home for twenty years. When you're in another country. It's just too hard, more thinking about renting, out. Yeah, you don't want you don't want to be alone, a landlord while you're in whatever country, family lives here and they might be able to help want to battle landlord while you're in another country.
Ok and then I'll landlord for forty years. You do not want their landlord when you're in another country. Ok, you do not want to be a landlord when you're in another country Someone will change the oil in your living room in your in Africa. You know, I'm not yeah it does. You know it's you're better off to have investments that don't require attention like good mutual funds and so forth, and I would aggressively pay down the home and build savings during the next five years and can show that the savings will allow you to go on the mission field plus the home. The money that is freed up when the sale looks all the home. As a result of the home going up in value and you paying it down those two this will allow you to you know, have a a bit of a nest egg. They could be part of your support, while your career missionary, of course, you're gonna, raise support, have a salary and other things as well.
Yeah, the the car will be paid by the organization that we go s: okay, cool, what's a wonderful calling on your life and it's a special calling and don't do things that you don't want to do things that that are hinder or call has bumps in the road or you know in in any kind of hindrances. Really what amounts to to that calling and Donna you Know- are a renter in South Dakota and you're in Africa. That would hinder you. That's just not a good plan. I like rental real estate, but I like it where I can lay my hands on it. It's close and we watch it and all that kind of stuff, even if his family is there. I appreciate that hey. Thank you appreciate the call open phones that eight billion eight hundred and eighty eight million two hundred and fifty five thousand two hundred and twenty five Kathy is with us in Maryland. Hi Kathy welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show Hi Dave, thanks for taking my call sure will shop out MIKE,
I recently inherited a large sum of money. An and I all our debts. Everything thing I have: how much money did you inherit. One point, one million, not bad. At we actually so forty thousand on a key lock, but that is my husband is supposed to pay that off. Husbands will still pay the I mean he'll, be paying it off shortly. He he it's along but anyway I mean I could pay it. I did pay off your house up so you're dead, free Ann. You have how much money left uh. I have invested two hundred and fifty thousand dollars in aliens, so I have fifty thousand dollars which, in two weeks
I maxed out both for my husband and I are lost on the way. So, how much do you have investments, total investments or about four twenty? Five? Okay, so you had six hundred thousand on your house. No I well. I also bought the leaks we? I bought another house. I actually bought a vacation home. Oh ok That we are, we will be retiring him, so I bought that. I paid cash for it uh. I have about seventy five thousand Savings and so I have some one thousand dollars that I was. I keep going back fourth about something: seven, I was going. Do five hundred and twenty nine one of my Children didn't want to do that because she felt that would keep them from getting loans.
I want to go to college for then I was thinking we should be making sharp sharp or no they are not well. It won't keep them from here It won't keep them from getting listen the the stuff that is based on the fact that you have assets is for poor people, ok and so she's full of crap. She don't know what she's talking about, ok! Well, I went back to the doing this. I'm just wondering is this: I wouldn't I would do it if you wanted to do seven, five hundred and twenty nine, so I would do ten thousand each one for each kid in a five hundred and twenty yeah. You can just you can even set yourself up as the custodian. If you want to I I am. I am setting myself up as a custodian, an eye, and I I. What I'm trying to do everything you know evenly across the Hurting so bad I thought it would be best, but I didn't know if there was any out there. That would make more money than a five to nine yeah. If, if a
has the money to go to college. They don't qualify for poor people stuff. Ok, that's the way it's supposed to be. If you have a job, you don't get unemployment or welfare right! So it's so that is, that would be so that's the best investment. I think it's awesome. A five hundred and twenty nine and good mutual funds would be great for your grandkids and wonderful gift to give each one of them ten thousand and you to manage it and make sure that it's going to go to college and that it's going to be properly handled well done, yeah, that's a wonderful, it's a great start for them. So I started doing I started. I was on baby stuff. I don't know, maybe and then, like my dad, passed away. Suddenly you at seven years old, so all of a sudden. Now we're we're actually good so, but I appreciate everything that you get out there. I've, given all my kids, your your ' think what you to do I'll, send you a copy of Anthony's book that free degree
number one bestseller on how to go to college debt free, and I think you ought to give each one of copy of that when you give them the ten thousand so that they follow through. 'cause, the ten thousand, not my grandkids are between one and seven, not the kid to read the parents real sorry, that's ok,
the parents read how to send their kids to school debt free and they can work out action junction with their mother. Then that is giving them ten thousand dollars to cause that to happen. Just is not gonna be enough to cover all of college are going to do some other stuff to get there, and you don't want to this to cause them to not to go into debt are because they were. You know they got twenty thousand thirty thousand for two thousand bucks or whatever, and they going on the fifteen hundred and that so we want to put that free degree. With this. The mentality of we're gonna send these kids to school, that free, so working with your kiddos, so that your grand kiddos on a life is actually changed. The words we don't want to five twenty nine to be a prompt that causes them to end up in that because you won't
might be enough, but it's a really really nice start with young kids. So, yes, I would do that hold on. I have Kelly pickup will send you a debt free degree book and get you going that puts us out of the Dave Ramsey Show in the books or things to James Child's our producer Kellie Daniel associate producer and phone screen. I'm Dave, Ramsey! Your host will be back with you before you know it Meantime remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace and that's to daily with the prince of peace, Christ. Jesus,
This is James Child producer of the Dave Ramsey Show. Did you know you can now listen to the Dave, Ramsey Show on Pandora and Spotify for all the ways to watch and listen check out. Our show page at Daveramsey, Ramsey dot com show hey if you've got questions about retirement, investing on becoming an everyday millionaire, go bigger and broader with my man. Chris opened on the Chris Hogan Shop, I am excited to be able to talk to you all week in and week out, we're going to focus on your calls and it's going to focus on building wealth, investing and how to become an everyday millionaire subscribe to the Chris Open show. Where were you listen to podcasts? Hey, it's Jay. Producer of the Dave Ramsey show this.
Transcript generated on 2019-11-06.