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The Best of Desus Nice as Guest Host

2023-10-29 | 🔗

Desus Nice kicked off his guest host week with headlines about the House speaker race and DJ Envy's potential involvement in a real estate Ponzi scheme. He also hits the streets of NYC to ask "what makes a true New Yorker," and sits down with Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Grammy-nominated rapper D Smoke. Here are the best moments from Desus' week as guest host.

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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more about the rising future makers. At a t, t dream in black dotcom connecting changes. Everything you listening to comedy central. What do these is nice and for those of you who might be confuse, I'm not charlemagne and other black black guy up, in which case I am charlemagne, we got a great show for you tonight. The less get into some headlines. Republicans are trying to figure out a new speaker of the house. S surprise, surprise, even republicans, don't like other republic,
It's on Friday house republicans dropped Jim Jordan of ohio as the nominee in a secret ballot after his three failed attempts to get elected. At least nine republicans are now vying to be the speaker of the house setting the stage for a new candidate forum tomorrow among the contenders, byron donalds of florida, retired marine corps. Lieutenant general jack bergman of michigan and majority whip tom emmer of Minnesota who's, backed by ousted speaker, Kevin Mccarthy, that's right! They got nine republicans running for speaker now. I'll be honest. I kind of want to vote for byron, I feel that he might be my god. I mean no particular reason, but for rural, though look at this group contenders, it looks like someone put it
I do have hershey syrup and the mayonnaise, all the all these white dudes look the same. In fact, three of them are the same guy and you didn't even notice the. If you ask me baruchel when this thing easy. All he has to do is say, vote for me and I'll. Let you say it. You know the sakharov kidding, you know they already say The office of financial news, the daily show is a serious show. I know some people expect me to come out here and do my thing where I just roast people by that I have before. But this is a serious show, is a series chair series desk and now I'm going to give you some important financial news so important I'll have to put on my spectacles.
A report on a serious financial humbler radio host dj envy now distancing himself from an alleged multi million dollar fraud, scheming review that was never on my radar go on federal agents arresting his long time friend and one time, business partner, caesar opinion on charges of wire fraud, accusing him of a ponzi like real estate scheme, that allegedly defrauded investors out of millions Pena often appeared on the breakfast club, a top twenty. I heart radio show with millions of listeners and youtube subscribers to promote real estate investment. He also held seminars and created youtube videos with dj envy. Dj envy has not been charged in connection with the case, but many of the alleged victims say they wore influenced by his celebrity status,
wow dj envy is in trouble for real estate fraud. What a serious story! It's definitely not funny. This certainly nothing personal that makes a funny to me. Satellite regime. Accosted me on the radio for making a little joke about him, and his wife was only thought. We're friends: it's you caught me decay then got so mad. You locked himself in the studio for the rest of the show and told the booty security tat was a threat, but even if that happened, that's all in the past No apparently the news dj envy my go to jail for alleged ponzi steam, flipping houses, new jersey, that's not hilarious is tragic because he's just a dj I mean there's no way he could have known. He might have been involved in a apology scheme right when I first and a realistic. I three people a clue, echoed fabulous. A cordial button
nobody button told me was a ponzi scheme and I was gonna go to jail. Backup is not funny. We are not laughing at so not asking whose is the now I'm being serious locally spectacles, the gonna happen to any body whenever ongoing doing financial transactions. I also get advice from Joe, but in fact Indeed, DJ clue. Everybody knows that the lehman brothers of hip hop Look I don't want envy to go to prison mean imagined getting locked up for one of the courtiers crimes in hip hop history. This is a property brothers, ass crime forget the blood he's gonna have to join the house hunters, but again we want news, and the news is that dj eight visa dj, a man who turns tables, and now the tables of I Let's kick things off with big news about the speaker racing congress after spending three weeks on a dating scene, republicans are finally swiping right,
far right. Breaking news out of washington house law makers. Finally elected the next speaker, the house after twenty two days, fourteen candidates and for nominees house, republicans united to elect congressmen MIKE johnson of Louisiana, the new speaker of the house Republican finally neo conservative congressmen MIKE Johnson, and it's about time. that's right! America's! You speak of the house. Some dude named MIKE Johnson, obviously odd. As that sounds like the name, you give a hotel when you're checking in after having an affair. The day I married, my name is a mike Johnson. You rent rooms by the hour. Now, if you don't know my johnson, don't worry nobody. does. What will we do know is that it wants. Nationwide limits on abortion,
and he wants to criminalize gay sex. The even wants the band reggaeton, the I'm on the last one, the that seems like his vibe, because it comes off as a dick. The one other thing people know about this dude, He was one of the main guys trying to steal the election for donald trump.
apparently he doesn't want to talk about that anymore. Johnson is a staunch trump ally who recruited republicans to sign on to efforts to overturn the two thousand and twenty election. I asked him if he stands by that boat, the right someone can get their nana. The first reaction. I was like damn. That was a lot, but then I learned the reporter who asked the question was black: that in order to make a little more sense, especially when I found out the shut up, lady is named virginia as she represents north carolina. That's a lot
southern heritage right there, I'll betcha. She was born of some small town, implantation, ville or something we were seaborne. Oh oh she's gonna be. The esa. wait. Yah. It seems to be on a blog that jimmy for one for know. We went to high school together. She got oldest shit. Man, see you at the reunion. Let's kick things off with the supreme court justice who's accepted more gifts, they'll make a wish. Kids clarence thomas, every day that a new story about thomas excepting lavish gifts or as rich as friends and not reporting any of it I was here how water, because so employment jacuzzi,
getting it was army thomas has been an army evangelist for decades travelling the country and a forty foot luxury motorcoat that he purchased in nineteen. Ninety nine. After borrowing more than a quarter of a million dollars from a wealthy friend, but a new report from democrats on the senate, finance committee alleges thomas's friend for gave a substantial amount of that massive loan and nine years later, his friend forgave, all the debt The IRA has considers debt forgiveness as a form of income, but Thomas never reported it on his financial disclosure forms a likely violation of federal ethics rules and he never reported it on his tax returns, potentially owing money to the I r s as longtime friend, anthony welders, who loaned him that money he is defending this arrangement, saying quote: I loaned a friend money, we've all been on one side of the other. That equation,
I know we have nots, the I've never had one for it. Just give me one or two hundred fifty thousand dollars hell last week album the cigarette from our guy tommy. He sent me a venmo request. The I do have a question for whereas switch friend you want hangs. illness, cats or knicks game. I've got course I seem to be paid for that, but Loki, I'm disappointed in clarence. If you're going to take a bribe, it should be extravagant like gold bars and diamonds say you burned abortion, because you want someone else that let you drive a bus. also. They said that driving our visa our scientists favorite thing in the world. Look on my face. Clarence Thomas looks like when he's happy, I'm enjoying this.
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How do you know anything about me? I'm a real new yorker, of any yellow, rooney yorkers. So at the street it I'll find out you're up its avoid. These is nice. We new acceding talking to new york is about what makes them a real New yorkers are going to find out if it's about being born here versus the experience you had here. Follow me or this here. Some chopped cheese. you, consider yourself a real new yorker. Definitely, yes, we got born here. I was born here fort greene, brooklyn, brooklyn hospital. That's how you know he's a real new yorker. He told me the hospital asked him the noxious like that. Are you a new yorker? I consider myself a new yorker. You consider yourself a new yorker. I moved here from hong kong when I was four years old. Is there like one event that happened in July? I want eat out I'm in new york, or was it just the whole experience really the whole experience I mean. Even this itself is an experience. What you feel is the most new york thing: you've ever seen, hollywood
is he brought over to a philosophy that has a new yorker? What borough has the worst guys, I always say: wrong. I wouldn't why what's wrong with that? town in the bronx event, I don't freak with the bronze even go with just as far as as far as train ride, the most craziest thing. I've seen ozone, fordham road and grand concourse in a crackhead went right in the middle of the street. Took a shit. That's the most! Is that crazy, before the new yorker has one of these? I have to ask what george you're going to go on subsidies I was a hero, the role the figure was alive was in the morning to eating lots of.
Yeah. Your way, let me get of blc mayonnaise salt, pepper extra tomato. You want me to say bacon. I don't I don't know typical athlete. You want me to say: have you said that you're, a transplant or undercover cop, we're not follow which lead to rating tv is a better rating? In a or a seat, C'Est pas that amy just queens the rats that work there do you not see me now it's supposed to me in the face of mistrust in lisbon. that here in a food blog, it means probably some of the best food. You have stuck the way you're going to eat that taken off the ball, which is the best restaurant breed ok, a amy queen, even if they have any of you know attitude. I gotta see an affront to the Chinese by what the big believers sugar beet ass, the best are unique. There maybe do it
we met. I mean you don't we went in a minute, but I think we got that you got out. Maybe all die hard. This goal we risk lakes or debate much while about new york with optimism when the nets win the championship. What are you gonna vandalized me personally, Colombia sacho, if it can, I get him out of his money business. You won't mind my business, I just got here. First, You pass this message you about the vote for a fresh yankee. Therefore it was the ottoman even all you to please destroy the wrong. He caught his guarantees that others. I recognize you sooner european yeah you using the talent, those given to me
We are now claim your to new york, for this guy is the real deal rang. A pleasure for me are one thing, but I go out. Eighty let's go, let's go makes. What does it take to be in the order in Europe which you have to have monitoring? and you have to work hard play hard and also just happen to be. Opinionated pull your own using your own standard definition of a new yorker you've passed the test. Thank you. You're now lead to a new yorker. I want you to walk down the street and bump into someone and not apologize. The bristol district, which includes parts of the bronx and queens. Please welcome congresswoman
Alexandria, cassio courts is always good to see you about we're going to see a bronze. I always good to see and hear disaster when starting to be adapted to how you been I've been good. I mean it's been won't. You know craven law It's been a wild time in congress. What's it been like for you, because I see social media- and you can just be like hey it's a sunny day and people like I hate you yeah, you know it's not that different than the six train at midnight, and you know you get that practice right, but you still love what you do. I do in fact. I think I love it now more than ever have to ask you about the house speaker the battle.
from the outset. I have no idea was goin in cages, really quickly explain it. So republicans kicked out their speaker and now they can't I need a new guy to run their group project there, like fighting with each other about it yeah now for a needle in the blanks. How does it affect them? So in terms of how this affects the bronx, we ve got a clock ticking on a government shut down, and if this gets us to a point of a government shut down, I mean that's real right. That's when we start seeing tia say and airports get affected. That's when people could potentially MR checks. So as this has really important forever.
I need to make sure that we get that pressure on, but also we need to make sure that we don't have people like Jim Jordan or extremists, because whoever takes over the house could potentially put our democracy in danger when it comes to certifying or recertifying an election, and so on. Gotcha Now it old people say. Congress has really get anything done right now because of the shot down, but what we thus giving done before. I know you been doing some filling an excellent question. I will say from I republicans took over to now they provide. A lot of meme content us by before that, when democrats were in the majority, we pass the largest climate package in american history. We have thirty five dollars more people.
Made. Sure that's you know when the pandemic went through. We started the programme of child tax credits. Now we had some folks in the Senate shut that down, but when we take that send it. We want to make sure that we have re, reestablish and expand those programmes back again to that put some respect on respect on my name. I feel so. We just did a piece about the people running for how sweetener who you voting for None of them casting my world for haiti Jeffreys parents are inherent immigrants lifeline in your city bar mayor big atoms he's. Ok, hand or anymore, and here you represent one of the most diverse districts in congress? What can you do that?
level to help well. Here's the thing is that I think whether from from all parts of the political spectrum, one of the biggest issues that we have when it comes to immigration is the fact that we have an undocumented population. Now you can fix that by trying to build a wall, or you can fix that by trying to document people and create a path to citizenship, the that might say look at these systems. You know that our shelter system has weight and things like that. But one of the reasons that our public systems experience wait is because people don't have a documented and reliable path to work and sustain themselves, just like all of our ancestors did and our and our grandparents and great grandpa I always love. When people talk about like a well, you know my great grandfather came and he wrote his name raw
not a book and now he's a citizen and dying we put two and two together that that our processing today are so difficult that they make our immigration process difficult, but that doesn't mean that immigrants do not create a positive contribution to our country and our economy. Society, and so the answer should really be. We should make it easier to be legal, documented and a citizen of the united states in the rosemary talking to you. Thank you for coming, give it up for congress woman alive the look. This is an ad the differences, it's about eighteen, his deal on the incredible new iphone fifteen pro and its real guaranteed. That's not always the case with other ads. The view of a lifetime only with a pricey upgrade
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if we're going to chat about generation gaps. Looking at some of the you know, more tired things we hear like. Oh all, kids want to do, is lay down and play video games, but that's the kind of Demand has existed for centuries and we're also going to talk about the flynn effect, which found that I q scores went up drastically over the course of the twentieth century. Hm hm hm, so kids are actually getting smarter. That is not what my wall street journal up ad say anyway. Don't this this special events, starting thursday november ninth at seven p m eastern at state Our part in I hurt land on road blocks available all week, I'm long after the show stick around and check out all the exciting things I heartland has to offer suit up in your virtual red polo and khakis in head to the state farm neighbourhood. Fine jake from state farm, all around I heartland to complete fun quest that level up your game play and help you earn rewards visit. I heart radio dot com, slash. I hurt land to start playing today,
the grandly nominally wrapper whose lay the single is called work hard play hard. Please, the whole me do some may say man good. We don t spanish, emit music theory in england, highschool idea. Well, that's all vanishing wise go ok. Ultimately I ended up teach amusing theory and you have to show them that functional rhythm of actual you why The enemy is come back, but you can you know I didn't really to spit, like men run into my students everywhere, because if you think that's think that's awful seven years, instead of the cell, each year you have anywhere from a hundred, so like two hundred students and soda.
All over the world- are adults now and so you randomly ran into them on hiking trails and they're like wow MR fares, it his leg, he was a good, Is your budget a better wrap around? Like I dunno what that means? Students are on hiking trails. You a good teacher, the alright. We just did a segment about bullying in schools and they actually say california is number one for bullying. You were a teacher who is worse in bullying, high school there's a rapid, I gonna have to say high schoolers easily high, that nah man they're they're heartless. Sometimes you know and- and I think that the teachers sometimes are easy targets like all. You have a job to protect unnoticed around there shoot at the teacher, and sometimes you just gotta, take the teach ahead of me like man. That's why you're mama You know it is greatly because we we we'd, take off the cool head chewbacca, that students, vanilla.
Ok, he's he's not plan. We respect their biggest fears, the fair been embarrassed, so you might have to pick out one sign. You know and not, of course, now we're bore, but let alone a jew. You there you and mom got you see. A fan. a business actually musical family. Your brother, sir, my brother s, are you familiar with these were having a family member also tamely like if you you wanna remakes, as you like somebody. So now we go direct or indirect, but after the music has done is still that adults who, like the proper channels- but you know there's a lot of respect their because we're not a group. Where our own artists- and You just admire each other so much that we we choose the right moment to put our song and that's where this single came about us like is a time and we both looked at each other. I guess work hard. We're gonna play out of other you're working. Why a novel!
to you're going to manage so many acronyms. Is that why you know I used to work in a library, something like a wild nerd right now, because I'm like, why don't they call juvenile hawaii? I dunno, but oh wow, that's a vega when I went to Y for three years and it was our shout out to the casino like having as a black man writing a y. A novel is you feel, like you have more teaching to do. I shall give you absolutely I'm I'm an educator by trade, I'm an educator at heart, but I am also critical of the education, Just a mom won't go into? It is just as is not necessarily the best circumstances under which to reach people. You know like you, you have to do certain things. You know as the things that really impact anita moser. Certain books tat changed my life, one of which was the alchemist genome and for me,
I believe I've written the hood alchemists. You know the I'm super proud of that gotcha and now in this current musical environment. What advice can you give a new artists if they really do want to stand out, because there's so many new artists out there absolutely I mean I always tell artists two things extend runway right, give yourself more time than people tend to everybody. China hit home run right here, everybody wants to blow up, but if you grow up, nobody can take from you what you bill, If you blow up make it happen, then you trying to figure out where the consistent. What changed my life is, what got me on rhythm and flow, and is that I was putting some out once a week. Secondly, what a visual, so I'm talking about, if it's me put in a tripod down when it myself and editing it every friday, don't get a new piece of content and what my creative advantage was spoke spanish. I was this
I'm not going the way. I was a black man from englewood speaking spanish, and I know people hadn't seen that summer, like less demonstrate that and mix it with some of the content, some of the message and do it once a week and then we started getting phone calls. So a lot of people think well rhythm afloat? Put you all. I know they call us. You know what I'm saying too, to be applauded. gradually It's getting more shows from the daily show podcast universe by searching the daily show. Wherever you get your podcasts watch, the daily show weeknights at eleven ten central on comedy central and stream, full episodes anytime on verma. This has been a comedy central podcast they're, introducing uber teen accounts and uber account for your teen, with always an enhanced safety features. Your team can recall,
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Transcript generated on 2023-11-08.